#i just. i feel so much calmer and less overwhelmed by everything

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Actually getting my adhd nonsense medicated is single handedly one of the best things I've ever done for myself

[thethingything]

I think the combined relief of being in way less pain, not being anxious about getting surgery because that's over and done with, and knowing we don't have to deal with all the issues those teeth were causing anymore, has all kind of hit at the same time and I feel more relaxed than I have in months. holy shit

[linawritestwst]

him taking care of you + you taking care of him (gn!reader)

(divider link)

characters: riddle rosehearts, ruggie bucchi, jamil viper, epel felmier, lilia vanrouge, silver, neige leblanche, rollo flamme.

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

hi hi!! so, uh, yeah, i'm trying to write something for this blog again. i don't think i'll open my requests anytime soon tbh, i kinda want to focus on writing self-indulgent stuff rn.

so yeah, hope you enjoy these! <3 i've tried to make them as soft and cute as possible.

riddle rosehearts.

him taking care of you:

♡ riddle is a busy man, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or that he doesn't have any time for you at all. he loves you and if he could, he would spend as much time with you as possible, but.. you know how responsible and strict he is. but again, it doesn't mean that he cares about the queen of hearts' rules more than you.. t-though it may seem like that sometimes.

♡ if he notices that you're not feeling well, like for example, maybe you're sick, he will worry about you a lot. maybe it's not that noticeable to you, but everyone else can see just how much riddle cares about you and wants you to get better. if riddle has a lot of work to do and he can't check up on you, he may ask trey for help, since he's his vice dorm leader, though he will feel terrible about it: riddle would much rather do all of that himself. he knows that maybe it'd be a more logical decision to send trey to take care of you while he tries to do everything as fast as he can so that he can visit you later, but for some reason.. no, it's obvious that riddle really wants to be there for you. 

♡ if you're not doing well mentally, even though riddle is not good at giving emotional support and understanding other people's feelings, he still wants to be there and support you. if there's something bothering you, he will listen and he will try his best to come up with the best way to solve your problem. he prefers to think about such things logically and if the voices in your head are being too loud and mean, maybe his voice can help you feel a bit lighter.

you taking care of him:

♡ riddle tries his best to work on his temper, he really does. but of course, he still can't control his anger sometimes. maybe it's because of someone breaking a rule again. maybe it's because of his mother hurting him with her words again. maybe it's because everything is just.. too much for him and he feels overwhelmed even though he'd rather deny it and say that he's fine, because what else could you possibly expect from a dorm leader? and when that happens, you are here to gently calm him down or let him express his frustration and anger, it really depends on what would be better for him at the moment.

♡ if it's the first one, you hold riddle in your arms and softly tell him to take deep breaths, in and out. you slowly pat his head as he does so and you can feel just how fast his heart is beating. his face starts feeling a bit less hot, he finally remembers where he is and what's going on and his anger goes away, even if it's just for a moment. and if it does come back, you still stay with him no matter what. you know that riddle doesn't want to hurt you and if he mentions feeling ashamed and being afraid of doing something bad to you in this state, you hold his hand and tell him that you trust him.  

♡ if it's the second one, you and riddle go to his room and you just let him do whatever he needs to let his feelings out. of course, there are some limits and exceptions and you make sure riddle doesn't accidentally hurt himself in the process or hurt anyone that dares to come in. when he finally feels a bit calmer and looks around while breathing heavily and trying to process everything, you ask him what he needs right now. does he want to be left alone? does he want you to hug him? you make sure riddle feels safe and doesn't worry about anything. if he broke something in the process.. well, he can probably just use magic to fix it, right?

ruggie bucchi.

him taking care of you:

♡ if you ever say that you feel like a burden to him, ruggie doesn't want to hear it. why? because he would always choose taking care of you over doing stuff for leona. he doesn't care about you not looking perfect today and he won't care about it tomorrow or any other day. when he hears about what you're going through, you blaming yourself for not having any energy to get out of bed or take care of your appearance, sounds so.. weird to him. how can you still say that you're the one in the wrong in this situation? he just sighs, shakes his head and ruffles your hair while saying that you should be grateful for him being here for you. he's not being serious, of course. 

♡ if you don't have any energy to do chores or you're sick, he's totally okay with doing them for you. if you say anything about feeling guilty or if he hears you trying to offer your help, he doesn't let you finish. he's doing it not because he's your servant or because he owes you something. he just loves you a lot and wants you to know that. and if making your day a little bit easier is what he can do to show his love for you, he's more than okay with doing exactly that.

♡ he can't say that he's good at giving advice or understanding other people's emotions or anything like that, but if you need to vent, go on, he'll listen. he will nod, he will act surprised, he will make funny (and not really) comments, because even if he doesn't know how to solve your problem and even if he doesn't know how to show that he cares, he wants you to know that at times like these, you can still ask him for help and support. you've saved him so many times before and you don't even know about it. let him do the same for you just as many times as you did.

you taking care of him:

♡ ruggie may act like he has a lot of requests and that he can never be satisfied, but actually, he doesn't need as much as he likes to say he does. you buying him some donuts or giving him headpats always does the trick. you still love spoiling him though and if he's tired, you're always okay with letting him lie on your lap and talk to you or just take a nap, if he wants. you like buying him gifts even if he doesn't ask for anything, you love to see his reactions too much. he always gets shocked at first, but then he gets so excited, you can't help but smile because of how cute he is.

♡ you always notice if something is wrong and if ruggie is not feeling so good, you're always there to ask what happened and help him in any way you can. honestly, you're so good at noticing him try to hide his feelings, it scares him actually. he wishes he was better at fooling you and making you believe that everything is alright, but.. of course, ruggie has his problems too. of course, his life is hard too. but you being there to listen or to just give him the tightest and warmest hug that you can give him is everything that he needs at moments like these.

♡ if ruggie needs to let his feelings out, you'll be there and support him. you'll listen to everything he has to say. if he tries to laugh it off or says that it's actually not that serious, you give him the look that lets him know that you won't let him run away so easily and he has no choice but to admit that he's been not doing great. even if it's just him being tired from running around and doing errands, you still listen to his every word and make sure ruggie knows that you care. because you know that even something as small as this can make ruggie's day or maybe his entire week.

jamil viper.

him taking care of you:

♡ jamil knows how hard it can be sometimes, so if you're having any problems, if you're going through something really bad, you can rely on him. no, you are not being annoying, that's kalim's job. you can just sit down and talk about everything that's been going on while he makes you some warm tea, but still listens to you and nods and tells you to continue. even if you cry, even if you show how angry you are, he'll listen. if you can't hold back your tears, he will hold you as you cry while telling you that it's okay. and no, he doesn't mean it in a "everything will be okay" kind of way. he can't make promises like that. but he means it in a "it's okay for you to cry and be honest with me and show your vulnerable side to me because i promise that i won't hurt you and i won't betray you" kind of way.

♡ and he really does mean it. sure, jamil is.. u-uh, not perfect. but when he says that he will never betray you, that he will never stab you in the back, that he will never use you, he means it. when it comes to doing those things to other people to protect you though- okay, okay, fine, he'll stop himself there. however, he still often feels like he has to hide some things from you because he doesn't want to worry you or make you feel sad. but he still expects you to always tell him if you need his help or if you've been struggling lately. yes, he knows it's selfish. please forgive him for that.

♡ jamil is very patient with you. you're not a burden to him. you're not a nuisance. if you think he's being too quiet while you vent to him, it's not because he doesn't care, but because he wants to let you express your feelings, because he knows how often you tend to bottle them up. your every word matters to him and he wants to hear about everything that's been bothering you. he'll try his best to come up with a solution and give you some kind of advice. if he can't do that, well.. maybe he can at least keep you company, if you're okay with that?

you taking care of him:

♡ you know that jamil can get so, so tired of everything. and you can't even blame him. you understand him so well. so you just want to be there for him when things get rough. when he feels like he can't control his feelings anymore, when he's tired of pretending like everything's fine, when he feels like nobody will ever notice or truly appreciate his efforts, you gently put your hand on his shoulder and remind him that you care. if no one else does, at least you care. and that's already enough for him, because you are the most precious person in this world to him.

♡ jamil doesn't even have to say anything. if he doesn't have the energy for that, you're completely fine with it. you can just sit next to him with your head on his shoulder and you both don't have to talk. this silence isn't scary, it isn't weird, it isn't uncomfortable. and if he wants to talk about his feelings, you'd love to hear it. he can talk about whatever he wants as you carefully unbraid his hair and nod and react to everything. he doesn't have to apologize for his ranting, it's just him expressing his feelings and why should he be sorry for that?

♡ if jamil is angry, you'll let him be angry. if jamil is sad, you'll let him be sad. he never has to pretend to be someone else when he's with you. he doesn't have to pretend that he's better than he is. and he doesn't have to pretend that he's worse. you still love him no matter what. simply because jamil is.. jamil. and you don't need him to be anyone else. if he doesn't want to do anything special or productive today, that's fine. if he kinda wants to show off and impress you, that's also fine. and even though, of course, you want jamil to be happy, it doesn't mean that you stop loving him when he shows a negative emotion. because that's still him. and you love him. 

epel felmier.

him taking care of you:

♡ oh? you don't feel so good?.. okay, who should he punch for making you feel bad? hm? it's not someone else's fault?.. o-okay then. epel is not exactly an expert when it comes to mental health problems, but if you just need him to be there and support you, he'll be more than happy to do just that. if you have the energy for it, you two can take a walk and just enjoy the sunlight, the warmth or the cool breeze, depending on the weather. you two can lie on the ground and just watch the clouds as epel points at some of them and tells you what they remind him of. you don't have to say anything, if you don't want to. but epel still hopes that you will let him know if he's doing a good job. 

♡ you know what, he doesn't care what vil has planned for today. you're not feeling good? it's your day now. epel will literally figh his dorm leader if he has to. he just wants to spend this day with you, trying to cheer you up and nothing and nobody will stand in his way.. at least he hopes so. he's okay with doing anything you want. you don't feel like leaving your room? that's fine, he'll bring some snacks and you two can just chill while he's hugging you. you don't feel loved enough? he'll shower your whole face in kisses and will hug you as tight as he can. you don't have the energy to do anything? that's fine, stuff like that happens. just tell him if you need anything. 

♡ i imagine epel to be a very physically affectionate type of person when it comes to people he loves, so be ready for many hugs, cuddles and kisses. he just has so much love for you inside and he has to express it somehow, otherwise he'll.. uh, explode or something, haha. but seriously, he wants you to feel as safe and comfortable with him as he does when he's with you. with you, epel feels like he can actually be himself, like you won't judge him and you don't have any high expectations for him. so please, let him repay everything that you've done for him. no matter how tired, sick, sad or angry you are, he still wants to be with you and tell you that those feelings are valid.

you taking care of him:

♡ epel doesn't really like admitting that he's not doing good. i mean.. isn't talking about your feelings kind of.. like, won't he look weak- okay, okay, stop pinching his cheeks, he understands, feelings and emotions have no gender, he gets it. fine, he'll be more open about it.. but only if you hug him, give him a kiss and tell him that everything will be alright! also, give him a lot of compliments. he really needs them. tell him that he's strong, tell him that he's the best boyfriend you could ever wish for, tell him just how happy he makes you. even if those compliments don't sound that special, they mean the world to him. 

♡ every single word you say means so much to him. even if it's just you telling him that he did a good job, when he's with others, he will blush and politely thank you, and when it's just you two, he will tease you about it and ask you to do it again, but you have no idea how many times he will repeat those words in his head during the day and before he goes to sleep. and if you hug him, hold his hand or kiss him, it will be even harder for him to stop thinking about it. 

♡ if he's suddenly being clingy or asking for affection for (seemingly) no reason, you can take it as a sign that something is wrong. also take it as a sign to give epel what he needs. kiss him on the forehead. hold his hands as tight as you can. give him the warmest hug that you ever gave him. even if he pretends that he actually doesn't like it or that you're being way too affectionate, don't stop. don't listen to him. give him even more attention actually. and of course, asking him what happened is good too. let him talk. let him rant about how annoying vil is, how tired he is of pomefiore or just whatever is going on in his life. he'll thank you later.

lilia vanrouge.

him taking care of you:

♡ OHHHHH HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. HE WILL. THIS IS A THREAT BTW. this man sees that you're not doing great and he asks you "what's wrong honey :( no, no, don't scream, this is just me-" as he's hanging from the ceiling as usual. if he sees that you're sick or just really, really tired, that's it, you will spend the whole day in your bed with as many blankets as you want. you have no choice. you need some warm tea/coffee/milk/anything else? he will bring it to you, just tell him. oh, he can also cook for you, if you want- oh, you're not hungry. oh. oh okay.

♡ but lilia really does make sure you don't waste your energy on things that he can help you with. if you don't feel like you can stand up to get something, just ask him for help and he will bring it to you. you actually don't even have to tell him anything. somehow he just knows what you need even if you don't say a word. he will fix your pillow if you don't feel like it's comfortable, he will bring you another blanket if you still feel cold and if you're sick, he will bring you the medicine you need. if you're having trouble falling asleep, he's always happy to sing you a lullaby and calm you down with his voice.

♡ if you say anything about feeling like a burden to him, he will stop you before you say anything else. he wants you to know that being able to take care of you makes him so happy because he can show you just how much he loves you and he can give you all the love you gave to him. you just can't be a burden to him because he loves helping you and he loves being there for you. you're not too much. and you're not too little. it doesn't matter how weak you think you are, because lilia will give you all the strength you need to go through the day simply because he loves you.

you taking care of him:

♡ you know that lilia's memory is not that good because of him being older than he looks, so you make sure to leave lots of notes for him in case he forgets something. and he appreciates it greatly. he loves seeing those notes because it's your handwriting!! he doesn't care how messy or how imperfect it is. it's yours and that's enough to make him happy. they're always so cute too! you also like to tease lilia about having to help him walk somewhere while calling him a grandpa and he laughs and plays along. you two literally look like the "sure grandma let's get you to bed" meme when you do that.

♡ on a more serious note, you also remind lilia that he really is a good father to silver. he's doing a great job actually. silver loves him just as much as lilia loves him, if not more. and lilia is a good person. why? well, he just has to take a look around. he just has to look at malleus, silver and sebek. lilia is an extremely important person to them and for a good reason. he plays such a big role in the diasomnia family and it's hard to imagine what could've happened to these boys if he wasn't there to guide them and support them. and he's doing the same thing for you now. and you feel loved and cared for when he's around. you're sure those boys feel the same way.

♡ you have so much love inside your heart and you will give it all to lilia if he needs it. if he feels like he's not good enough, if he feels like he's not doing enough, if he feels like he hasn't changed for the better, you will be there to tell him that he is so much better than he thinks he is. he has saved so many people, including you. maybe he's just so used to doing stuff like that that he doesn't even notice it and doesn't think too much about it. but lilia has changed so many people's lives. and you're here to change his life too. hopefully, for the better.

silver.

him taking care of you:

♡ silver loves you so much and he wants you to know that. even if he's slow, even if he falls asleep at the worst possible timing, even if he gets tired easily, he still wants to be able to protect you and help you with anything you need help with. just tell him or explain it to him and he will nod and immediately try his best to do it. he would do anything for you and he means it. maybe he's not that good with words and he's a little quiet, but he really will try so hard to express his feelings properly. if you're sick, he will get you anything you might need. if you're tired, he will help you with doing anything you don't have the energy to do yourself. he just wants to help you, please, let him do so.

♡ if he sees you falling asleep while doing something, he will gently carry you in his arms to your bed or the nearest couch and he will cover you with a blanket, making sure you don't get cold. he will softly get your hair out of your face and make sure you're comfortable before smiling at you (and not even noticing it) and sitting down somewhere so that he can watch you (not in a creepy way though! he just wants to make sure you're safe!). a-ah, he can fall asleep too though.. b-but he'll try his best to stay awake! he won't let anything bad happen to you, he promises. 

♡ please don't think that silver sees you as someone weak and fragile because he's so worried about your safety. he just loves you a lot and.. and he doesn't want to lose you. you're so precious and so important to him and he doesn't know how to express it and what to do with his feelings because they're so new to him, so.. just tell him if he's being annoying or too overprotective, okay? he respects your boundaries and if you think he's overstepping, let him know, he would never want to hurt you. 

you taking care of him:

♡ you don't find silver's sleepiness to be annoying at all. if anything, you'd say that it's kinda cute, but you totally understand why silver would worry so much because of it. you just want him to know that you still love him and that you would never hate him for falling asleep while you talk to him or anything like that. if silver has trouble waking up in the morning, you can just come to his room and wake him up if he wants, haha. o-oh, he would actually love that? okay then, you will be the first thing he sees in the morning from now on.

♡ if silver is blaming himself for his sleepiness and calling himself lazy, you will stop him before he says more bad stuff about himself. you can't just let your boyfriend do that. you know how hardworking, brave, strong and responsible silver is, there are just some things that he can't control and that's okay, that's normal, he just has to accept it no matter how painful, scary and frustrating that might be. if he needs to talk about it, you'll be there to listen. he always was there for you to listen to you talk about the things you love, talk about your day or just rant about stuff, now it's your turn to do the same for him.

♡ you're just as patient with silver as he is patient with you. and you know that even if he's a knight in training, he also needs and deserves to be protected. if you see anyone (subtly or not so) making fun of silver, you won't hesitate to call them out or even try to fight them. you also don't let people take advantage of him taking things a bit too literally and kind of living in his own world and being a more quiet and introverted person. this man is a knight, but he's still soft and gentle and deserves to be taken care of.

neige leblanche.

him taking care of you:

♡ this boy will do anything to make you happy!! he might have a busy schedule and he might have lots and lots of fans following him around everywhere, but you're still so, so important to him! just tell him what you need, okay? if you feel like you need more physical affection, he will give you as many hugs and kisses as you want. if you feel like you need some distraction from your problems, you two can go on a nice date to any place you want. or you can just leave the choice to neige if you don't know where you want to go! though he will still talk to you about it first, because even though making it a surprise sounds nice in theory, he still wants to make sure you're okay with it. and if you just need to spend some time with your boyfriend in silence, he will be more than happy to just sit with you while hugging you and not even saying anything. just being here with you is enough.

♡ if you're too tired and/or sleepy, he will get you the softest and warmest blanket and if you want, he can sing you something to help you fall asleep, again, just tell him. oh, he can also bring you a stuffed animal, if you want! if you want to cuddle, he's all for it too. he just wants you to feel safe and comfortable enough to fall asleep without any worries. even if you still have something to do, even if there's still too many dark thoughts in your head, neige just hopes he can help you forget about it at least for a moment. you getting rest is more important right now.

♡ neige would never let you think that his job is more important to him or that he loves his fans more than you. it's true, he really does love his fans no matter what and he's passionate about acting and modelling, but you are still that person that he cares about the most. there are so many things and people in this life that he loves, but to be honest, he'd probably be okay with losing some of them, but you are definitely not one of them. so let him express his love for you, okay? you deserve it. no matter how much you think you're not enough for neige, you deserve it.

you taking care of him:

♡ neige gives you so much love and affection, sometimes you feel like you don't give him enough of it back. so when you and neige can finally spend some time together, you give him as many hugs and kisses as you can and it's hard for you to let him go even for a moment. you just missed him so much.. the way you spend time together depends on how high neige's energy level is at the moment and yours as well. if it's been a long day of filming and no matter how much neige tries to hide it, his smile looks a little bit tired, you two can just spend the evening lying on the couch and talking about whatever comes to mind. and if both of you feel like it, you can try to bake something together or just dance together in your bedroom. 

♡ even if neige looks fine, you can still tell if something is bothering him and you encourage him to be more honest about it. he doesn't have to pretend that everything is fine, he doesn't have to smile all the time, at least he can be honest with you. you agree that neige is insanely talented and that he deserves all his popularity, but you love him not only for that, you love him for what kind of person he is. and he doesn't have to continue acting when it's just you two. so even if it's something small and not that serious, he can tell you. you two can just laugh about it later or actually try to solve that problem together. 

♡ if you find out that some fans of his have been acting weird in some way, like maybe they've been asking him if he has a s/o way too many times or even if they've been stalking him, you won't hesitate to do something about it. you will try to go and meet them in person, if you have to. you try not to let neige know about it because you don't want him to worry and because you know that he can be a little bit.. he forgives his fans too easily. you think him loving them so much is admirable, but also, you just really want him to be safe. you want to protect him. you know that some fans just.. don't know what privacy and personal space is. 

rollo flamme.

him taking care of you: 

♡ even if rollo may seem like a cold and emotionless person to some people, you know very well that it's not true at all and that he cares so much. if he sees that you're even a little bit tired, he will gently (but firmly) ask you to take a break. if you want, he can help you with whatever you're working on once he's free. as a student council president, he knows what it's like to have a lot of things to do and feel like you have to finish all of it as soon as you can, but it doesn't mean that he will let you overwork yourself. and if you're the opposite and you tend to procrastinate very often or you can be very forgetful, rollo will remind you that you have things to do and will try to motivate you to do them. most of the time it's just him saying that those things are important and you will most likely regret not doing them earlier- n-no, y/n, a kiss is not a proper way to motivate someone.

♡ rollo is not really good with words, it's true that he is good at things like public speaking and stuff like that or manipulating people into thinking that he's a totally normal person who is not planning to steal their magic but it's fine it's whatever, but when it comes to having actual genuine conversations, he is.. not sure what to do. however, if he notices that you're not doing good mentally, you can always tell him what's on your mind. he won't insist on it though and he thinks you should tell him about it only if you're comfortable with it. but if you do, you can trust him, he will listen to you very carefully and will never interrupt. 

♡ rollo isn't really the type to give you emotional support, but i also can't say that he's the member of the "would rather give you an advice/suggest ways to solve your problem" gang. he's more subtle about it. you know what? he'd rather solve your problem himself. or at least try to make it feel easier and not as overwhelming and tiring. you feel like your schedule is a mess and you don't have time to do anything? he will come up with different ways for you to organize everything and when you wake up, you will already have multiple different new schedules for you to choose from lying on your desk. wait, does that mean he has talked to the people who gave you so much work and- actually, maybe you shouldn't ask him that. someone has been too mean to you? well guess what, they'll be nothing but nice and polite to you now. oh, and if any magic user even tries to- okay. okay, sorry, y/n. sorry. 

you taking care of him:

♡ you honestly have no idea how rollo manages to do the student council work and take care of the belltower and its gargoyles and still pretend that everything is fine. no matter how much he tries to hide the fact that he's tired or claims that he's okay with it, you still ask him to take a break. and if he still insists that he has things to do.. man, and you were really hoping to take a nap with him while holding him and telling him that he's done well- oh? oh, he actually has some free time now? huh. interesting. well, what did you expect, this man is so touch-starved, it's insane. and it's also kinda cute to watch him try and pretend that he's not.

♡ you actually try to help rollo be more honest with his emotions. like, he has to be better than the overblot gang. and also.. it's probably for the best that we don't have another masquerade incident. so if you see that rollo is even a little bit annoyed, you still ask him what's wrong and even if he tries to cover his face expression with his handkerchief and says that it's nothing, you don't leave him alone until he confesses. and this isn't just about the negative emotions, if you see him try to hide his smile or his face that is becoming more red, you softly tell him to stop and look at you. you won't make fun of him and you won't think he's weird for expressing his emotions. you would love to see that side of him more often actually. 

♡ if rollo actually wants to talk to you about something that has been bothering him even without you noticing anything or asking him about it, you'd be so proud of him for opening up to you and you will try your best to listen to him and you will be as patient with him as possible. you know that he has a lot of problems and that his past was really sad and traumatic and even though you can't do anything to change his past, at least you can try to make the present better. if he wants to talk to you about his brother, if he wants to talk about his relationship with magic, if he wants to talk about anything, you'll be there, waiting for him. you won't leave him. you promise. 

[a-not-so-clean-blog]

So I've been thinking about witch Assassins would be the worst yanderes. I did worst case scenario because I can 🩶 AC1-3

1 is a normal person, 10 is full coo coo 🔪

Altaïr: 6/10 or 3/10

Young arrogant Altaïr wouldn't be a fun yandere to have but he's not the worst. If you can handle his normal ego you're fine. Well unless you freak out when he kills someone in front of you. He has no issues getting his hands bloody and doesn't care if you see. He also doesn't like you having friends outside of the brotherhood, and will eliminate anyone who he thinks will corrupt you. Everyone in the brotherhood knows better than to try and get between Altaïr and his target, even a non lethal target. He won't hurt you, but he will use fear to control your actions.

After everything happens with his character arc he is much better. He has a lot more value in free will and has definitely calmed down. He still doesn't trust the people around you but with the brotherhood at his disposal he doesn't need to get his hands dirty or scare you to keep you protected. You can live a normal life, just with a bloody angel on your shoulder. And no, I don't think he would use the apple against you. He has grown and doesn't feel the need to anymore. However despite being much less intense and overbearing if someone makes the mistake of hurting you he will personally make sure that it never happens again. The reason his rating is so low is because he's normal unless an external force makes him do something.

Ezio AC2 4/10 or 9/10

Oh boy. So he did have some mild yandere tendencies when he was younger. Mostly his protective instincts, but the worst he would do is beat up people who upset you. He didn't have much to do during the day so he would spend a lot of time just hanging around you, pestering and flirting.

After he lost his family though… let's just say his obsession with revenge could only be outmatched by his new extreme need to protect and possess those he cares about. He's calmer if you stay in Mario's villa, but that doesn't mean he's sane when he has to leave you. If you don't want to go to the villa… he will try his best to convince you with soft words and big round puppy eyes. If that doesn't work then plan C is to take you by force. He's doing this for your own good, It's to keep you safe! He doesn't know what he would do if he lost you too, and frankly I'm a little scared to find out. He may hurt you by accident. If you try to walk away from him he will grab your arm so tightly that you know it's already bruised. He gets overwhelmed by fear and forgets his strength. He will spend the next week trying to apologize, he is absolutely heartbroken that he hurt you and he will punish himself for it. As to be expected from a man led by his emotions.

Rathonhagé:ton 7/10

I don't think his personality has really changed all that drastically to warrant more than one rating. In fact, I don't think he would really be any different even if his village wasn't raided.

Even without being smitten by someone this boy already has no issue killing if he sees a random civilian getting harassed by red coats. So you can only imagine the heights he would reach if his obsession was in danger, real or perceived. It's hard to tell if you will even notice his yandere behavior or not. Like I said before, he has no problem killing for you, but he also doesn't want to kill in front of you. He knows he's big, dark, and intimidating, but he genuinely doesn't want to scare you. He's so soft and shy when he's with you that you can't even imagine the rage and bloodlust he keeps hidden just under the surface. All in all he has some of the worst yandere tendencies when it comes to intensity, but he will do his best so you never know. The less you know, the better. Also he feels community is extremely important so he's not the type to get really upset if you make friends. To him that's more people who will look out for you. He would prefer if you join the homestead but understands if you don't want to leave your town. He won't force you to do anything you don't want, he doesn't want you to resent him if he does. If you don't join the homestead he'll pop in and check in on you whenever he can. It's totally not stalking…

Desmond 1/10 or 10/10

Ummm… so before he got taken by Abstergo there were no issues. He was just a guy. The only problem came AFTER Abstergo. Especially when he is not bleeding.

He's lived through SO many tragedies. He's seen and felt the pain and loss of his ancestors and it's carved deep scars in his heart. May the Isu help whatever poor soul decides to hurt someone Desmond cares about, because they will suffer the concentrated pain that's been festering for centuries. Surprisingly, his yandere tendencies (especially the aggression) aren't nearly as bad if he's bleeding an ancestor. That's because when he bleeds he will adopt his ancestors tendencies, not the full collection of emotional pain he usually carries with him. If you remind him of anyone his ancestors knew then he's more likely to bleed that ancestor. If not, then it's really just luck (or unluck) of the draw who he bleeds. I'm sorry if he bleeds older Ezio because being in modern time will make him feel like he has no control of the area and Ezio Desmond will freak out the worst.

Begrudgingly I'll give you Haythem too. (Do not ask me to write for him. I do not like him but his character is interesting enough that I will give this to you.)

Haythem 2/10 or 9/10

It depends on if he meets you before or after Ziio. Before Ziio he's basically a normal dude. A little "protective" but not much else. He's more just showing off than actually being proactive. He lets people fight their own battles for the most part, and has a “whatever happens, happens.” type personality.

After Ziio dies he goes completely insane. Guilt and loss corrupting his views on freedom and morality. He is still a Templar, still one of the most powerful people in the colonies. He will use every authority he has to make you do what he wants. If that doesn't work he is more than happy to use force. He has this sickly sweet smile on his face as he drags you kicking and screaming to whatever safehouse he decides you will stay at. Lavish and clean, so different from the outside. He just wants to pretend that everything is fine, just for a little while before he has to go out again. It not a protective instinct, but a possessive one. Like someone stole his favorite toy so he latches on to the next one with a ferocity.

[deramin2]

A while back I bought Littlewood on my PC but I didn't really connect with it. I recently rebought it on Switch and now it's one of my favorite games. The key: the ideal way to play this game is lying on a couch or in bed where you're trying to turn into moss. It's got a rich incredibly kind story, and a bunch of tasks to fulfill to improve the town, but it's also by far one of the chillest games I've ever played. It makes Stardew Valley seen intense. And yet I can play two hours of it and it feels like 10 because I'm so engaged.

Movement stick or arrows, A,B, and rarely Y are the only keys used. There is absolutely no time pressure. It's effectively turn based. You can run around, talk to people, buy stuff, sell stuff, rearrange the town, decorate the houses, etc. as much as you like with no time crunch. Gathering and materials processing take energy and when your energy gets low it becomes night. You can teleport home at any time. If your out of energy outside your bed, you simply have a bad night's sleep and have less energy the next day. It will tell you when you've hit your max limit and one more thing will put you over, so it's very hard to miss it's time to stop.

There is no combat (yet?). You avoid enemies or they'll knock you out and you'll wake up at the entrance to the area with the area you were in locked. You can still go to other areas to continue playing though. And these aren't hard enemies per say, you just have to stay out of the way and if you pay attention that's generally easy to do. You WERE the hero that saved the day. Now you've lost your memory and retired.

There's a coffee shop and every morning you can get a free donut or hot beverage that gives you a harvesting skill boosts. So every morning I talk to the villagers, choose who to hang out with, compliment them, and get my tastey treat. There's very little skill involved (slight timing thing on fishing, but not a mini game.) The inventory is all neatly arranged for you and easy to find things. There's extensive information about how to unlock things. The game gives you lots of hints and advice. All townsfolk are dateable, with the exception of Dudley.

You're incentivized to decorate the villagers' houses to their basic taste but have a lot of free reign. You can rearrange everything freely including raising and lowering terrain. Certain villagers want to live near certain buildings, but that's the only constraint. If you remove something like a crop, you get the materials back to place it elsewhere. You really can't get yourself into trouble.

It would be a great game for a little kid. It's also a great game as a disabled adult with chronic pain and fatigue who likes to play low impact video games while watching TTRPG actual plays. Your attention can drift as much as you like and it will be there waiting when you come back.

I play a lot of Stardew Valley with my boyfriend and love it. It's a very chill game. But the time crunch element can be overwhelming and too intense some times. By eliminating that and putting up a bunch more guard rails, Littlewood is an equally engaging village sim, but way way calmer. Sitting upright in a chair with a mouse and keyboard didn't do the experience justice. Full veg mode from the couch does.

[winryofresembool]

Jily one-shot: Not on your own

Summary: James helps Lily to realize that she is not alone with her issues (6th year Hogwarts Jily)

Words: 3600+

genre: hurt/comfort

rating: G

AO3

A/N: Please let me know what you think!!

...

”Evans? What are you doing out here?”

Lily opened her eyes and quickly attempted to dry her tear streaked cheeks with her hands. She knew who the speaker was without turning to see him, cursing herself for choosing this out of all places as her hiding spot. Of course the captain of the Gryffindor team would show up at the Quidditch pitch well after their regular training hours. It was only natural, when talking about James bloody Potter.

The truth was that Lily was a bit overwhelmed with everything – school stuff, family stuff, the events outside Hogwarts, to name a few - and she had needed a place where she could let her emotions out without the entire Gryffindor house or at very least all her dorm mates witnessing her mental breakdown. She had decided to sneak out, not even caring that it was past curfew already, and eventually found herself in the Quidditch stand where her legs seemed to have carried her on their own accord.

“What?” she said defensively. “You think only Quidditch captains get to hang out here whenever they feel like it?”

“Nah, I didn’t say that.” He attempted to swipe his stupid, messy, annoyingly ruffleable hair to one side, with the result that it stuck up in all directions. “You know I really don’t care much about who goes out past curfew and who doesn’t. It’s just quite unusual to find you out of all the people here, and especially at this hour.” He was quiet for a moment, observing her face. “Were you just crying?” He asked then, with a quieter, gentler voice.

“Why would you care even if I was?” she muttered, but she didn’t really have the energy to put a lot of edge behind her words.

“You seem to have this idea that I enjoy seeing girls crying.” James frowned. Despite that, his voice was also calmer than what Lily would have expected, especially knowing how much James enjoyed provoking her. Or at least had enjoyed. The past few months they had somehow managed to form, if not a friendship, at least a friendly-ish acquaintance where they didn’t yell at each other at every possible opportunity anymore. James had been helping her with Transfiguration while she had been helping him with Potions and while doing that, she had come to realize that there was actually more to this boy than what the loud, obnoxious, arrogant cover of his showed. Besides, she had to admit he had been somewhat less loud, obnoxious and arrogant that year. But that didn’t mean that she wanted him to find her in a situation like this.

“You don’t?” she feigned surprise and folded her arms over her chest.

James shook his head, his expression serious. “No, I really don’t. I know that I can be a piece of shit at times but I’m not completely heartless, you know.”

“That’s news to me,” Lily grumbled because there was no other way to take her anger out at that moment, but luckily to her James didn’t seem to be in a mood for a fight and he just ignored all of her jabs.

James’s hand found his hair again and he sighed. “Look… can we try to be civil for a moment? As much as I enjoy occasional bickering, I think there’s a time and place for that and now’s not one of those times, clearly.”

“Fine.” Lily said with defeat, just hoping the boy would leave soon so she could continue dwelling on her issues on her own. James, however, didn’t seem to be able to read her thoughts, because instead of walking away, he got closer.

“Can I sit down?” he asked, uncharacteristically hesitantly.

She just shrugged. “Suit yourself. It’s a free world. I can’t exactly tell a Quidditch captain to leave the Quidditch pitch.”

“Well, technically you could, since you are a prefect and I’m not, and it’s past curfew,” James pointed out.

“You want me to take points from you and tell you to leave?” Lily raised her eyebrow.

“I would rather you didn’t do that but it’s your call. However, even if you did take points from me, that wouldn’t make a huge difference because I’m not planning to leave, at least not before talking with you.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because you were crying here on your own and I don’t like seeing you that way,” James stated as if it should have been obvious. This quieted Lily down quite effectively. What he had just said seemed so weirdly nice for James Potter she wasn’t sure what to think of it.

“You don’t like…” she repeated.

“Seeing you that way. Yeah. What, is that yet another surprise to you?” He cocked his eyebrow. “I thought that we were… I’m not sure if friends is the right word for it, but at least friendly? And I care about my friends.”

“Right. Sorry.” Lily said. James Potter may have had his flaws but she knew that he was fiercely loyal and protective towards his friends. He remained extremely tight-lipped about Remus Lupin’s secret (a secret Lily had figured out the previous year), and somehow he and his friends seemed to even have found a way to spend time with Remus during full moons, if their tired faces the morning after were anything to go by. Apparently James had even saved Severus Snape from an encounter with Lupin’s werewolf form, though how that had happened, Lily had no idea.

“So…” James attempted to catch her attention again. “I’m probably overstepping some boundaries when I’m asking this, but… do you want to talk about it? About what’s upsetting you?”

“Not really,” she said.

James thankfully wasn’t trying to push her. “Alright, fair enough.”

A silence fell between the two of them, but even as it got longer, James made no effort to move from his seat. Apparently he did not want to leave her alone in that mood. Something about that gesture sparked a little flame of hope in her heart.

“It’s… it’s a lot of things.” she finally spoke. “I doubt you’d want to hear me ranting about my issues for an hour straight.”

“Try me.”

James’ eyes looked fierce and determined with the moonlight reflecting from his glasses. It was enough for Lily to take down the dam she had been building inside her for weeks.

“Okay. Brace yourself.”

She looked up at the night sky, wishing the stars would somehow tell her what to say.

“Sometimes… sometimes I feel that no matter how hard I try… I’m never enough. Never a good enough sister. Or a daughter. Or a friend. Or a girlfriend. Never a good enough member of this goddamn society.”

She didn’t know what James had been expecting but clearly not this.

“Why… why would you say that?” he asked, his eyes wide.

She let out a humorless chuckle. “Oh boy, where do I begin? My sister hates me. Truth to be told, I think she has hated me ever since Sev… er, ever since I found out I was a witch, and she wasn’t. I’ve been trying my best to be nice to her, write letters to her every week, send her some of Honeydukes’ best sweets and the funniest Zonko’s products… And she takes that as me boasting about my new, ‘wonderful’ life. Last week, she sent me a letter saying it would be better if I just stopped contacting her. Her reasoning was, ‘what would my new neighbors think if I had owls flying near our house in daylight? What would my boyfriend think?’ She has made her message perfectly clear… she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore.”

“In that case she’s out of her mind and doesn’t know what she’s missing.” James said quietly. Before Lily had time to react to that statement, he continued: “What about your parents? Don’t they try to get some sense into her or something?”

Lily shook her head. “My parents… they are trying to be supportive but I don’t think they really understand Petunia’s resentment or what it’s like to be a Muggle-born in the wizarding world. I can’t talk to them about that stuff; they would instantly get me out of this school if they knew half of what’s been going on lately. And sometimes I think that even though they say they’re proud of me, they actually wish I would be a normal girl in a normal school. It’s asking a lot from them, having to come up with excuses and fake stories about where I am most of the year. I’m not even sure all their friends know that they have two daughters and not just one. The worst part is…” Lily felt her voice crack a bit, “I can’t really even blame them for that.”

James didn’t seem to know what to say to that. Lily could see countless different emotions from shock to outrage flash on his face as he processed her words.

“I’ve seen your parents; I know it’s probably hard to imagine for you that not all the parents are like that,” Lily added, thinking about how happy the Potter family always seemed when they hugged each other during a reunion at Platform 9 3/4. Her statement snapped James out of his daze.

“No! No! Trust me, I know I’m an extremely lucky bloke to have a family like that. But I’ve seen the other side too… Sirius… Er, he was disowned by his family last year and he has been living with us ever since. What I’ve heard from him about the other Blacks… they are not the kind of people you want as your relatives, to put it lightly. So let’s just say: I can imagine.”

That piece of news did come as a surprise to Lily. Sure, she was aware that Sirius was probably not close with his family; she had never once during the nearly five years his little brother had been at Hogwarts seen the brothers talk, nor did Sirius get letters from home like most of the pure-blood kids in the Slytherin table did. But she hadn’t known about him being disowned.

“Why was he disowned? If that’s something you can share.” She couldn’t hide her curiosity.

“Well, it’s not really a secret that he doesn’t share his family’s views on blood purity. To give you an idea of what they are like, Bellatrix Lestrange, who is allegedly one of You-Know-Who’s biggest supporters, is his cousin. When Sirius made his stance clear, it… got pretty ugly. To give you some less gory details, his lovely mother burned this name off the family tree and told him there was no coming back.” He mimicked blowing up something with his wand. “I should probably mention, if this was still unclear to you, that I fully agree with Sirius. My parents have always been avid supporters of Muggle-born rights and my mother dear would disown me if I didn’t follow in their footsteps, but I promise you, I would want to do it regardless. In case you’re wondering, no, my family is not very high on the popularity list among the pure-bloods currently…”

Lily just stared at him for a while. For some reason, she had never considered James Potter as a potential ally.

“Why have you never mentioned this before? I’ve always assumed… I don’t know, the way you carry yourself like you’re the king of the world… I’ve always wondered why you don’t get along with Slytherins even though you are a pure blood prince like them… Guess this explains some of it.”

“Some of it, yeah,” James admitted. ”A lot of them are gits in more than one way, though.”

“Doesn’t give you a right to hex them whenever you feel like it,” Lily said sharply, still remembering a very specific day by the lake about a year earlier all too clearly.

“Maybe not, but it’s not like they wouldn’t hex you back…” He seemed to decide it would be better to change his approach. “Um, anyway. I know I’ve been a git too and I’m not going to make more excuses for my past behavior.”

“Good.”

They were quiet for a moment. Lily was still processing the things James had just told her when he spoke again: “Er, I feel like I may be prodding a wasp nest here, but does the ‘not a good enough friend’ part have something to do with a certain Slytherin?”

Lily winced. “Sometimes you’re too observant for your own good. But I guess there’s no point in lying… There are moments when I wonder: could I have done something differently? Could I have stopped him from… doing the things he’s done?”

James looked at her darkly. “I don’t think you could have. He’s responsible for his own choices, remember. But since we’re being honest here… I feel responsible too. He may not have called you that if I hadn’t provoked him and acted like an idiot…”

Lily considered this for a moment. “Maybe not but there was more to our drifting apart than one slur. It had probably been coming for a while. We… we were arguing a lot during our last year of friendship and he was inventing these suspicious spells and hanging out with people who don’t hide their interest in becoming Death Eaters... My dorm mates always kept asking me why I still spent time with him even though I knew what he was like… Maybe I didn’t really want to believe it. Not before he called me a Mudblood in front of all those people.”

James shot her a warning glare. “Please don’t use that word.”

“Why not?” Lily exclaimed, the frustration taking over even though she tried her best to stay calm. “Mudblood and proud! I’m not afraid of a word, Potter. I’m afraid of people who are trying their hardest to take my future away from me and wanting me dead, regardless of what they call me. You’ve never had to be afraid for your life so you wouldn’t understand. You don’t know what it feels like to not belong anywhere.” She had to blink hard to keep more tears from spilling from her eyes.

James opened his mouth in an attempt to say something and closed it again. He moved his hand a little closer to her, but when Lily thought he would touch her arm, he seemed to decide against it. “You’re right. I don’t know what that feels like. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care, or that I’m just planning to stand in the sidelines while you struggle, Lily.” She didn’t miss the fact he used her first name. Something about the softness of his voice when he said her name… it made her feel a tiny bit lighter, somehow. “This is about our entire wizarding community, and I want to do whatever it takes to make things better. For you. And all of us.” His eyes were dead serious, telling Lily that he meant every word he said.

“I thought you were planning to become a Quidditch player or something,” she admitted, only now realizing how little she actually knew about James Potter. The boy ruffling his hair constantly and grinning like an idiot at a joke he himself had told was so different from the one who was currently sitting next to her.

“Maybe if things were a bit different…” he admitted. “But it’s not the only thing I would like to do. Sometimes I’ve wondered what it would be like to be an auror or a healer… McGonagall has been trying to encourage me to do more Transfiguration research after finishing Hogwarts. I wrote an article on Gamp’s law once and it was published in Transfiguration Today.” He seemed almost ashamed to admit that. “But I dunno. It’s an interesting field but I’m not sure I can picture myself sitting behind a desk with dusty papers all day long, for years.”

Lily too tried to imagine him doing that and she had to admit it was quite difficult.

“How do you do that?” she finally asked. “I mean, make everything seem so effortless? You get Outstandings in pretty much everything – I’m only better than you in Potions – and you’re a great Quidditch player – oh come on, don’t look so smug, I only state the truth – and you are a natural with people – when you’re not hexing them… How?”

“First of all, Evans, I’m flattered you’ve paid attention to all that stuff,” he flashed a grin, having apparently decided it was safe to tease her a bit now that she was no longer looking like she would blow up any second. “More seriously speaking, though, I don’t think it’s really all as effortless as you seem to think it is. I’m good at Quidditch because I’ve had a broom probably since I was one year old and my dad taught me to fly. I fly countless hours, during and outside practices. And you may not believe this, but I actually do study behind the scenes. Sometimes. Whenever there isn’t important marauding to do.” Lily rolled her eyes. “Relax, I’m just trying to lighten the mood a little. But you can ask my mum, I do actually read every once in a while.”

“Of course your mum would say that,” Lily pointed out but her tone was softer than it had been earlier. “She’s mandated to do that.”

“Maybe,” James shrugged. “But trust me when I say that Sirius is the one who just swallows information the moment he sees it… I need to do more work than that.”

Lily considered her next words for a moment. “This might be too personal a question, but if we ignore Potions and other school things, what is something you struggle with? If you want to share.”

The smile that James had been sporting a moment earlier faded. “Well… my parents aren’t exactly young anymore and my dad has been pretty ill lately. I try to ask about him from my mum but she usually just brushes it off with a ‘don’t you worry about it, you have enough to worry about at Hogwarts’. Never the full truth. I could hear them talking during the Christmas holidays and it sounded like the healers are not… they’re not very optimistic about his recovery. I don’t know. Every time I leave home, I’m afraid it’s the last time I see him…”

For a moment Lily felt a sudden urge to take his hand into hers and squeeze it. She could tell that James’ father was important to him and he was quite close to tearing up as he talked about him. 

“I’m sorry, James.”

“Thanks. It is what it is. I’m not telling this to get your pity, though… I’m just saying that things are rarely quite as black and white as they may seem at first. I guess… that’s something I’ve slowly started learning this past year. Funnily enough, I think it was you who opened my eyes to see that.”

When she didn’t say anything, he added hesitantly: “There’s something else too that I’ve been thinking about.”

“Mmmh? Go ahead.”

“When you called me an arrogant, bullying toerag and all those other things last year… Did you mean it?” 

Lily’s eyes widened. “You still think about that?”

“Sometimes, yeah…” he admitted a bit bashfully, his hand finding the back of his neck. 

“Uh… Well, honest answer: if you would have asked me this time last year, I would have said yes. I did mean it. But this year… I’ve learned that there might be more to James Potter than the arrogant toerag that I saw last year.”

James laughed, a genuine laugh that somehow made her feel better too. “Gee, thanks, Evans. That’s good to know.”

“I don’t want to give you too much hope because I know how you get when you’re too proud of yourself…” She bumped her knee against his. “But let’s just say that you may be going in the right direction.”

“Alright, that’s fair enough,” he chuckled, his knee now touching hers. “Er, sorry, this conversation took a weird turn… I didn’t mean to make it all about me, I swear…”

“It’s fine,” Lily said and she meant it. “I asked you. It felt weirdly comforting to hear about someone else’s issues. Sometimes… Sometimes I withdraw into my shell and forget that I’m not actually alone with all this.”

Unlike Lily earlier, James didn’t hesitate. He rested his hand on top of hers and looked into her eyes when he said: “You’re not, Lily. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye but I want you to know that I’m here. To listen. If you ever feel alone or just want to rant or whatever…”

Warmth spread throughout Lily’s entire body, and she wasn’t sure if it was the hand or his words (or maybe both) that did it. 

“Thank you, James. It really, really means a lot to me.”

Then she did something that surprised even herself: she kissed him on the cheek.

“You’re… you’re welcome,” James stuttered when Lily pulled away, his hand going to rub the spot she had just kissed. 

Lily attempted to pull her cloak a bit closer to her body to hide her sudden flustering.

“It’s getting a bit cold…” she said. “I should probably go back inside. But it was good talking to you. Really. Felt nice to get some of that stuff off my chest.”

“I’m glad I could help.” James gave her a small, almost shy smile. Lily simply nodded and was almost out of hearing distance when James yelled: “Hey, Evans!”

He had gotten up from his seat and was now approaching her.

“Yeah?”

“Can I walk with you?”

“Sure. I don’t see why not.”

He caught up with her and spent the walk to the Gryffindor Tower talking about whatever came to his mind, but Lily found herself enjoying it. For the first time in months, she didn’t feel alone.

[russellsppttemplates]

since charles gf is friends with the boys since theyre young, how about a little something about her helping pierres gf when the woman feeling overwhelmed with their fame? like i imagine it can get crazy with paparazzi, all the money and the access, the travelling,the girls throwing themselves over them...nothing like us 9-5'vers are used to.

"We can go through here, it's usually calmer", you nudged Pierre's girlfriend while she walked along side you into the paddock, looking around at everything, "I don't usually see this way on TV", she mumbled, "photographers always stay on the other entrance, more famous people and all", you explained, thinking about the cuts you needed to take, "Fabiana from AlphaTauri taught me these paths for every race I went to when I first started dating Charles", you smiled at the memory, remembering how young (and lost) you were.

"Was it different because you were their friend before?", she asked you, "I didn't notice it at first, to be honest. But as we got older, everyone started guessing and wondering who I was, mean comments thrown as to why I was either at every race, because I surely had to have a job and why was I always in the paddock, or the other way around, why I wasn't here supporting them", you mused, "and I started taking these 'less famous' paths to the paddock", you explained, "it's not that the other ones aren't safe, but these are easier", you smiled as you reached the back entrance of Alpine, "Here".

.

"Hi, Y/N? How are you?", Pierre's girlfriend said over the phone while you cooked dinner with Charles' help, "Hello, dear, I've been good, and you? Pierre told me you'd join the race this weekend!", you replied, sensing some nerves on her tone but wanting to check if it was just your odd impression, "are you alone? I actually wanted to talk to you for a bit, if that's okay", she forwarded, making you ask her for a second.

Pausing the call, you looked at Charles, "can you handle the rest of the recipe, please?", you wondered, "just put these in halfway and then straight to the oven, right?", he pointed, making you peck his cheek before saying, "exactly. Merci, amour! Call me if you need anything", before leaving for your bedroom, wanting the call to be more private. "I'm back, sorry, just had to check Charles was capable of making the rest of our dinner", you giggled, "is everything okay?", you asked, "it, it seems so silly, but I don't know what to do, and it is consuming my kind day by day, and I don't want Pierre to be worried about this, he already has a lot on his plate and-", you decided to interrupt her, "hey, deep breaths, okay? Nothing is silly if it is bothering you. You can tell me if you want", you invited her to continue, "there has been a lot of comments online. Apparently people found my social media, and some managed to get hold of my posts because there are pictures from my Instagram page on the Internet and I have a private account, and it has spiralled so much, it's insane. They're talking about me like they know me, saying things that they take for granted and that are not the truth, and I'm not used to it. I thought I could call you to vent it out I guess, I know we can't do much about it", she admitted sadly, "unfortunately, this is part of what they do. But it is not because it is a part of what they do that you should accept it. And it's okay if it bothers you, it's only logical after all", you tried, "I wish I could say it gets better but I can only say there are days. And it's quite shit because you'll have to learn who you can trust and sometimes you do it the hard way, but in the end you're the one who knows about you and Pierre, so you just focus on that", you advised, "and don't ever think it is silly to call or talk about this. Either to me, to Pierre or to Charles. Even if my boyfriend is a little oblivious sometimes, we all care about you and want you to be well.".

.

Charles and Pierre had agreed to have dinner the day they arrived at the track location, wanting to spend some relaxed time before the busy race weekend. You were about to sit down when Pierre and his girlfriend arrived, making you drop your bag before greeting her with a kiss and a hug, "how are you? Charles is just there hanging my coat, go and give him yours too if you'd like", you offered before moving to hug her boyfriend and your long time friend, "Thank you for what you did with her. And what you do. I couldn't have asked for a better support", Pierre said as soon as he faced you, "I know she has been having a bit of a bad time dealing with things, and I know I sometimes don't have the best advice because I don't live this all thing like you do, it's different for us, but I'm very happy that she has you, too", he said before hugging you.

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

[bumblebeerror]

To anyone worried T will make you ugly or angry, from your local fat masc-presenting non-binary

Hi. I’ve been on T (not low dose) for 10 months.

Physically: it has squared my jaw a bit, I have grown a lot of hair: I now grow dark hair on my legs, arms, pits, and my face - and have found all easy to shave (it irritates my face a bit but I’m getting used to doing it right), and I have a lot of acne. My voice is a fraction lower and I’ve lost a good bit of my upper register. My legs got more defined, my weight stayed the same. I gained a little bit of upper body strength, my chronic pain stayed about the same, and my chronic fatigue stayed about the same. I’ve noticed bottom growth, and more than anything else it’s just sort of weird-feeling to walk for a little bit, lmao.

I’ve found myself to be less attractive in some ways, but almost all of those ways I can control (various hair) or were already present and now just have a more predictable schedule/just need more intense treatment (acne). Any unattractiveness I feel is vastly outweighed by everything else that changed. I’ve never felt more comfortable wearing revealing clothing. I regularly feel perfectly comfortable going topless as long as my breasts are covered somehow. I’m particularly happy with my legs and how much more comfy I am with my tummy.

Mentally: I have noticed a lot less anxiety, depression, and self-consciousness. I’ve felt more grounded to my body. I’ve not been more angry - I’d personally say I’ve gotten a lot calmer, actually. It’s much easier to handle my brain in general. My mood can swing, but generally it’s because I’m already tired and pretty similar to PMS anyways. It’s made me cry a few times, overwhelmed or extremely touched by whatever caused it. These mood swings happen kinda rarely, and they’re never worse than any mood swings I’ve gotten from ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, or PMS.

You’ll be okay. If you want to do this, then do it. Anything you don’t like, it’s okay. If what I’ve said is a dealbreaker, that’s okay too. But know that you’ll never be so fucking awful as the people who try to scare you away from helping yourself by calling transmascs ugly.

Remember that they don’t know you. They don’t know what you look like and they don’t care, more importantly. All they want is to keep you unhappy. Please don’t let them.

[purple-steven]

Personality swap! But specifically directed at Ender. Make him the exact opposite of how he is now, more nice and caring and less bitter and cruel. Just for a day or two of course, but it'll be a nice change of pace for Lav.

- Mystery anon

//doing something similar but quite different

Honestly, he's been far more reclusive than usual. No one seems to have really noticed, seeing as it's not... unusual for him to suddenly hole up. But Ender's been worse recently. A bit more harsh. Maybe it was the silence that made everything seem calmer, but it seemed as though Ender's silence made his presence that much prevalent.

And it was more disturbing that Lav didn't really entirely process the fact that Ender HAD disappeared. The thoughts didn't go with him. That just meant that... well, he's probably going to have these thoughts even when Ender's gone. Which is a horrible thing to know.

So here he is. Rotting in bed. Listening to Ender whisper in his ear for the billionth time. You'd think he'd eventually realise that this whole thing is just for him to react. That maybe, Lav would just... stop listening.

But it's really, really hard to when that's just how you think as well. All he could really do was just sorta lay there and listen.

...but then there was a shift. It stopped. Just for a moment. And a soft, gentle voice came out.

Oh, uhm, hello Lav!

...huh. Wh... this is new.

Lav held genuine surprise towards this new voice. Although it sounded familiar, it was one he didn't hear that regularly. Or... nearly at all, to be perfectly honest.

I do apologise, I haven't really been the greatest help to you at all... But! Uh! This curse- uh- it should fix things! For a bit, at least. Just for a little while.

...hang on, hang on, what's- what's going on?

Ah, right, I'm Del. Someone tried to make Ender the exact opposite of how he is. And... well, being his direct counterpart makes that fairly simple!

...ah.

I know, uhm, it's a lot to take in. But- but I'm here to just... give you a break. Just to let yourself relax, just for the time being.

Despite his scepticism, there was a wave of serenity that washed over him. For a moment... For a little longer than a moment, there was quiet. There wasn't anything that bothered him. His own thoughts weren't even tormenting him.

And he felt himself tear up.

...re...really? It's- this is going to stop?

Just for a while. I'm... I'm really sorry, Lav, I wish I could do more.

No... No, Del, you've done-

He took a deep breath in, smiling, seeming far more tired than he anticipated. He didn't realise how much was just... bottled up in there. For some time, all of his inner turmoil was just... Gone.

You've... done enough, really. Thank you. Honestly, thank you so much.

He finally felt some shred of motivation to do something, or at the very least, just go downstairs. Maybe this'll be nicer than he thought.

--

So... why haven't I heard you before? Or at least, seen you around NEARLY as abundantly as the usual prick?

Ah, uhm... That's partially my fault, and also... not? Uhm... Ender seems to have taken a particular... liking, to you, specifically. And for some reason, I can't... seem to really talk to you when he's latched on to you like that. At least, not any more than a normal person can. And even if I did, I have a feeling that it would be far more overwhelming than it would be of any help.

...Yeah, that makes sense. I uh... I didn't mean it as an insult, sorry if it came off like that. I dunno, I'm still tryna make heads and tails of this whole situation.

He put a hand through his hair, sighing.

...I have a feeling once you leave, it's going to be overwhelming regardless. Y'know, with the whole... soulcrushing guilt?

Yes, well... You aren't wrong about that. I didn't have much jurisdiction over this though. Personally, I would've much rather met you like a normal person. With the whole handshake and maybe a cup of cocoa.

You sound like an absolute angel of a person, huh?

Well, funny story, really...

--

He does have a cup of cocoa, sitting on the couch, sipping it slowly and letting the warm envelop him.

That's it, let yourself relax. You've deserved it.

He smiled a little to himself, squeezing his cup ever so slightly.

This is awfully nice, y'know. It doesn't even feel "too" nice. I don't feel paranoid. It's so strange.

Of course!! I don't want you thinking how you usually do... No offense, but it doesn't seem entirely healthy, nor does it seem to benefit anyone.

Well, you aren't wrong, I'll give you that. Thanks for this.

Of course, I'm just- uh, just doing my job!

Not really. I don't think you needed to do all this, but here you are. Uh... can I see what you look like? This seems a lot more... impersonal. It's nicer, don't get me wrong, but with Ender, it's more like... he feels like me. With this, it just... kinda feels like I've got a nice friend in my head.

And as per his request, Del materialised next to him, their wings small and hovering for the time being, along with their halo. The cloven feet and scarf really complemented their colours, and in general... They just seemed really soft and sweet. A tail seemed to rest on their lap, and they smiled towards Lav, completely innocent, with no ill intent whatsoever.

Is that any better?

Yeah... I think it is, at least. Wanna just hang out?

That does seem quite nice.

Want that cocoa?

--

Now he's catching himself cleaning the library, dusting the shelves, cleaning his room... Everything he's WANTED to do, but never really had any spirit left in him to do it. And now it felt... so much easier than it did before.

I appreciate the company a whole bunch. Feel like I haven't said that enough.

No need to thank me! Although I do feel as though I haven't really done much, have I?

Done much? Del, are you kidding? I mean, for the first time, in genuine YEARS, I don't have any sort of background thoughts stirring up in my head. I don't have a nag of every single thing that I'm doing being "wrong". I know it's not going to last, but honestly, I think this is the closest thing I've got to actual peace, man. At least by myself. Being able to just... think to myself, without some pompous arsehole chiming in, it's just.... the bar is so low, but it's a bar that you've managed to overcome and I can't thank you enough for it.

...really?

Yeah, really.

...how long do you have left?

...I'm afraid not long.

Figured. Well... I mean, it's not the end of the world. You can always visit. Just come in for a chat. I don't even care if it's unannounced, considering I have uninvited guests around all the time.

He chuckled to himself. Ah, he's hilarious.

I will... certainly try, although do understand-

That it'll be difficult? Yeah, somewhat not surprised, considering my luck. Don't stress, man. 's nice just to know that there are anons who don't want to kill me given the chance.

...I see.

Yeah, I know, low bar, but again, gotta take the small wins, y'know?

Del smiled again... They're glad to see that Lav's at least thinking slightly more positively now. They've done something right.

I'll be looking after the rest of your friends, don't worry. Bubble is a good friend of mine, actually. She gave me my name.

Really??? Damn, why did she never tell me about you?? That's crazy. I'll talk to her about it at some point.

Lav looked back at Del, seeing them slowly disappear.

See you around?

...hopefully. It was nice talking to you Lav. I'll see you another day.

They both smiled and waved, and a sickening transformation of Del's innocent, lamb-like body slowly twisting and lurching into a very recognisable figure made Lav's stomach churn. The horns pierced through the cloud-like hair, and the halo shattered into oblivion.

A thought popped into his head.

Perhaps one day you'll be worth loving.

...and there it is again.

[lemonxbeat]

This Is Who I Am - Terror Twins x You

this is for you @make-me-your-animal

sorry if there's any mistake

All day you've been acting weird around Phil and Steve. Phil was the one who noticed the most and was worried about what might be going on. It wasn't your habit to change your mood suddenly. After all, there was a reason behind it. It was something that had been troubling you lately and now more than ever, the thoughts you've been avoiding came to the fore.

Phil has been waiting for the right moment to come to you to talk.

You were in the living room lying on the couch watching TV, a little distracted. You were barely paying attention and were jolted out of your thoughts when Phil lay down next to you.

"Everything is fine with you?"

"Yes." You force a smile, but your face gives the opposite answer.

"Are you sure?"

You don't say anything, just lower your gaze knowing there was no way to hide it.

"You can tell me what's stuck there."

"It's just... I'm afraid of how you'll react." you reply with a trembling voice, filled with fear and the overwhelming desire to break down in tears.

Phil moves closer to your body and hugs you. You take a deep breath before opening your mouth and taking the necessary courage to speak.

"Phil, I... I don't identify as just a girl." you can't take it anymore and allow yourself to cry with your face buried in Phil's chest.

He still hadn't said anything and in that wait for an answer, his shirt was wet with your heavy tears, falling like a waterfall.

“Why did you think I'd think that was bad?

“I don't know,” you reply in a choked voice. "I was insecure, afraid you wouldn't accept it and leave me. I've been keeping this to myself for a long time."

“Babe, I'd never do that."

Phil lovingly strokes your hair and kisses the top of your head.

"You're not gonna hate me, are you?" feeling a little calmer, you ask.

“I love you and who you are. Never in my entire life would I hate you."

You sniff and with the back of your hand wipe away the tears. Phil faced you and touched your skin with his fingertips, stroking gently.

"Thanks, Phil!"

"Don't ever forget how important you are to me. I'll always be with you to support you, help you and, above all, protect you from absolutely everything that could threaten you."

Phil hugs you tighter against his chest and you could hear his heartbeat. In that moment you felt safe and above all, loved.

“But what about Steve? What would he think?"

“I'd think this is you and that makes you amazing.” His voice echoes through the living room. You look up to find Steve standing in the kitchen doorway with a beautiful smile.

You smile too and your eyes fill with tears again.

"Thanks!"

Steve goes to the couch, kneels down in front of it and lightly caresses your face.

"I love you! Your gender identity doesn't make me love you any less than I do. All I can do is make my love for you grow."

I've asked myself countless times if Joe would accept the fact that I'm bigender. That thought troubles me from time to time.

Would he agree to call me Tommy?

I know that my parents would never accept this fact and it hurts me, that's why I worry so much about what Joe would think, because I love him and would like to be accepted at least by him.

I like to think he would be open-minded enough to respect me and I'm sure Phil and Steve would never see your gender as an issue. You're an amazing person, how could they not love and especially respect you? With pride they would call you by whatever pronoun you wanna be called.

[w4t3rgun2]

Hi! I was just wondering if you could maybe do something like a Claude (from VTSOM) and reader (they/them if that’s okay!)that has anxiety? Like, they don’t do well in crowds and have trouble with calming themselves down?? Maybe where he tries to calm them down? I’m really sorry if this makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don’t have to write it at all! Take your time too!! Thank you so much [:

Hello hello! Thank you sm for the request and welcome anon!! I personally don't have (diagnosed) anxiety so I will try my best to do this and use sources of what it's like!

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

Type: Comfort (Platonic implications?)

Ship(s): Claude [and] Anxiety! Reader

Pronouns: They/Them for Reader & It/Him (headcanon) for Claude! 🎉3rd person🎉

Owner Information: This is gonna be a short one shot + some headcanons (two in one!!) and I apologize if I get anything wrong, I do not have anxiety (I tried the 5-5-5 due to it being recommended)

CW?// Anxiety, investigations mentioned, spoilers?

This was supposed to be a fun day with the duo. After all, Reader finally got a break from their job as well as Claude from its. It was a hard week, especially with the recent investigations. But Claude was happy to finally get a break and hang out with its pal. The two decided to go to the mall. After all, it's Saturday and why not? Mall is an interesting place; especially in the G4 district. Malls were a big thing in such a district. The two were there to just shop. Claude needed some things as Reader was there to come along and chat with him. They haven't spoken to him in a while so it was nice to finally talk again. But as they got there, and went inside, they didn't except *this* many people...

As the Reader and Claude walked around, Reader got closer to Claude as they looked around the place. It was a giant crowd, a flood of humans and mutants all around. They tried to keep their breath stabilized but in the end, they couldn't. They were on the verge of tears and panicking as they kept trying to calm down. They couldn't calm themselves down, they were on the verge and we're uncomfortable with everything. It felt like so many eyes all around, even if that's not the truth. It was terrible. Terrifying even. Claude took a while to notice but once he did, he wrapped his metal tail around them, holding them close as he also held their hand. Claude made sure to keep close as it lead the way to outside.

As the two finally got outside, it was pretty much empty. Most were inside so it was a bit more comfortable than being inside. they sat on the outside bench. Claude kept holding their hand as they breathed together. It was worried but didn't show it. It tried the 5-5-5 technique with Reader, by them both breathing in for 5 seconds, 5 seconds in and 5 seconds out. They repeated the process until Reader didn't feel so panicked as they did back inside. ".. Do you want to go back in or do you wish to leave?" It asked them, it held out two hands. The two hands symbolized the two options, he didn't want to overwhelm them even more with speaking so he waited with two hands out. They picked to leave, and so the two left to go somewhere else. A calmer place, and a less crowded than it was with the mall.

Claude and Anxiety! Reader

Claude takes a while to notice the Reader's anxiety unless they explicitly told it about the anxiety

Wether it being social or not, Claude is there to help. It's not the first time, after all, he is a detective/officer thing and has probably seen many bodies (I know he was undercover but still)

Claude would definitely hold their hand in times like these, especially if it was deep

If the Reader wishes, he will let them use his tail as comfort.

But he also uses it to wrap around people to comfort them or just for fun

He'll try whatever he can to make Reader comfortable

Wether it'd be get out of there or just holding their hand in reassurance, he's there for them

But it's kinda hard to tell wether he's genuine or not, since of his cold face

But he'll try to give a reassuring smile to Reader in times of comfort.

Heck, he'll let them fall asleep in his arms while comforting. He doesn't mind at all!

He'll also give two choices and put out two hands for them to pick because he understands some people go nonverbal/too anxious to talk in times like these

In the end; it is really trying its best to find ways to comfort them

Apologies if it's short! I'm not very good with Claude nor in disorder related topics but I tried! Feel free to send me another request or to edit something! :3

[eroticcannibal]

Dunno if this helps or not- but re: the blood draw. Thats horrific! That many people holding it down is way overkill. Being upset is SUPER justified. Hope its feeling better soon.

In the future, it may help to say as the parent, 'my kid will be calmer if you dont lie about how much medical procedures hurt or about anything else. Dont soften the amount, or my kid will be more upset.' Or have your kid say something similar but add 'I will be more calm and it will be easier for us both if you tell me how it really feels without sugarcoating. I will feel appropriately warned, thank you for understanding'.

If they comply asking 'will this hurt as much/less than/more than x' or 'what kind of pain will this be, stinging, throbbing, dull, sharp, etc?' can help them because its more specific and lets them flex their knowledge.

Can attest that as someone who really needs doctors to not lie about pain and stuff also that this can help reduce the sugarcoating and people WILL take it from kids and try to comply if they arent completely batshit (wont help the sensory distress if there is any, but it can reduce the rest). I have used this for a good long while and its really reduced the 'oh this will just feel like a tap, you wont even feel it probably :)' -sharp pain ensues- BS

Doctors want easy and to feel superior, so if you give them a way to make it less of a chore for them to do the thing than having to deal with a crying panicking child and then thank them profusely after its like positive reinforcement for good behavior.

This wont always work, but it may be worth a shot to try?

Its worth a try, ty.

Its good to have it like. Written out. Cus yknow one minute is was "oh my child is sad better comfort it" and the next there is people and talking and struggling and crying and screaming and everything was so fast and overwhelming and I didnt know what to do.

[lifethroughlenss]

Planner vs no planner/pro and cons

Hey there! In this blog post I will be writing about some of the pros and cons of having a planner along with the pros and cons of not having a planner.I will also share my favorite planner with you all and give you some tips and advice on how to enjoy your planner for 2023 and beyond so buckle up.

I'm starting off with the cons of having a planner.

Okay let's say you buy a planner to star organizing and crushing your goals without procrastinations.You feel happy about It and ready to take on anything,but soon after you start writing out your goals and plans for the day or week you regret you even started writing.If this sounds like you I can truly relate.Writing your day on paper can sometimes feel like a sentence,It makes you feel bound and tied up basically forced to do something you no longer want to do.You feel obligated to take 'Rachel' to the baseball game even though you are sick. You begin a pattering of just doing It because the paper says to and you are no longer happy or motivated to do anything, not what's on the planner or outside of It. And If you are one who likes to minimize and keep clutter low profile than having 'more books' can sound and or feel unideal or overwhelming.Your planner can start controling you when it was supposed to be the other way around.You may put a few things down you want to get done before the week ends but when you don't get it done you feel bad and disappointed in yourself.Then you pile everything you did not do onto the next day and then you have way too much to do again,and it's just creates a big circle of unmotivation and defeats the whole idea and point of a planner.'You should never live for the planner,the planner should live for you'. I think one of the reasons why I have to much on my plate in one day from my planner Is relativly simple It Is so easy to write anything and 'everything' but we have to have self-control to remember to not overwhelm ourselves so that we can keep our motivation,crush our goals,see a brighter day by getting what needs to be done done.I know I feel really good when I have accomplished my goals even the small ones. A goal doesn't have to be big like go to Paris by the end of the year or buy a new car.It can be something as little as wake up early journal and buy coffee from the cafe' near you.You should never make a goal just to make a goal It should be something you truly want to accomplish a desire or passion.

Now that we got most of the cons out the way It Is time for the pros.

You sleep calmer and wake up feeling rested and motivated.The idea of a planner Is to be able to get goals completed,and your day and weeks planned so that you will actually get done what you need and or want to.And it can be a blessing If you have the right mindset,mercy with yourself and a lot of patience.You get your goals done not only quicker but more often.After you write down your aim for the day and accomplished It you have free time to do what you want 'that Is only If you do not procrastinate' you sleep better knowing you got your most important plans down pack.You are more at ease when you wake up.It pushes you to be more creative In your day.You have more overall peace and less worrying.You wake up at a good time according to your plans.It makes you feel satisfied.

Okay It's time to get Into the pros and cons of not having a planner.

Cons always first.

You procrastinate so much.You wake up later than you would If you were to have a planner.Your goals are not accomplished as quick or often.You are not as motivated without a plannner.Your sleep Is'nt the best or your morning before work.You lack creativity and drive.Your days are more messy than taco night with your toddlers.

Time for the pros!

You save space on your book shelf drawers or wherever you place your books.Less clutter,which for some people that means less or no paper books. You feel free to do as you want.I know I wrote earlier this will unmotivate you but for some people this Is best.If you are a great self motivated anyway this can be perfectly fine,but for those of us who need a little extra motivation a planner Is best.There really aren't many or few pros of not having a planner.

Let's move on to advice and tips:

#1 Never ever live for the planner,let the planner live for you.

#2 Only make goals that you truly desire,want,need or something that Is simply a passion.

#3 Give yourself mercy and patience.

#4 Read a motivational quote everyday.

Now I am going to share my favorite Planner with you all.I bought this planner from amazon The brand Is Freedom Mastery. It Is $ 26.95 with a 5% coupon at the moment.the Planner Is called Smart womans life planner.It has 212 pages,faux leather and It has a vision board,weekly tracker,reflective pages,world map,goal planner pages,journal pages,stickers,a pocket,pen holder and much more! I recommend It.The best part Is the It Is undated. This Is not a sponsor. Link https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B09GRJH7W?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_image

My photography for sale! https://skycash.smugmug.com

[treasureswordsgirl55]

A little bit talk about Us

Character: Steven Grant / Marc Spector

Pairing: Steven Grant/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader

Inspired by: Tumblr's Prompt

Mentions: About DID

Warnings ⚠️: Spicy things. Smut fic try. Talk about virginity. Talk about sex. Marc being a little rude with Steven. Post!Moon Knight series. Fluff. Little angst.

Author's Note: Hello everyone! I hope you're doing well.

Let me explain this fic... I thought this fic in a different way and it end in this. it would be a smutty fic and... I told my friend a little description about Marc and Steven and end in this fic.

And I've read a prompt about Steven and the reader being both virgin and... I would like to say sorry for everything that you read after this.

It's my poor intent to do a smut fic and if Fanfic's God help me, the second part of this will be smut. I promise.

So sorry to all the smut writers, I've disappointed you.

I hope you like this fic and always, the reblogs and comments are appreciated ❤️

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

- There is something I should tell you - I move away enough to see that they are very nervous. Although his hands hold my waist, bringing me as close to his body as possible, he contradicts his words. I caress him slowly, taking my time to enjoy the softness of his curls between my fingers and imagining that I squeeze them in my hands and feel his agitated breath against my neck, as well as mine while he claims me as his in that bed we shared a long time ago more than five months. As much as any of them brought up the subject of sex, saying that Steven is too polite to talk about it, much less insinuate it, and me being a virgin, it's making it very difficult for me to have him so close and not succumb to my vivid imagination that asks me to calm that strange feeling inside me, that I know only Steven can placate. I focus on him again, on how he leans before the brush of my fingers on his face and I notice his body seems to tremble with fear.

- I hear you - I settle next to him on the bed to listen to him, sitting on my legs but I see that he stirs almost uncomfortable when I get a little closer.

- I don't… - I see how his Adam's apple moves as he swallows hard and he looks away as he looks anywhere but at me. - I never, well you understand me. You know what I mean. I don't… - he gasps like a fish out of water and drops his shoulders as I see the color begin to invade his cheeks – I've never been with anyone. In that aspect.

It takes me a minute to figure out what he's talking about and when I realize his words and how he indicates to both of us, I feel my body tremble with calm.

- Oh. Oh… You talk about that

I bite my lip as I think about how I shouldn't feel good knowing he hadn't been with anyone, besides the fact that I never had and I wouldn't make a fool of myself here if I did something wrong.

But instantly I remember that Marc is also Steven and he was with women...

Marc rolls his eyes and lets out a small curse from his place in consciousness.

- Well, if it makes you calmer to know this, you will be the first for me, if you ever want to do it, because we don't have to do anything now. We're just talking while I caress your hair.

And I try to deny the overwhelming need to hold him even closer at his words.

He lets out a nervous laugh and some of his curls fall onto his forehead, causing me to bite my lip to keep from groaning at how attractive he looks with that easygoing, homely air.

We're both embarrassed enough to say the word "virgin" out loud.

- What if I want? Oh… You have no idea what you provoke in me, in us. You already know about Marc, about me… I've never told you – I smile at his hasty words and Steven walks away a bit, without letting go of the edge of the shirt I'm wearing, one of his shirts - I want to do it. Of course I want to do it with you.

Damn, I thank Osiris for letting us out of there (Marc)

- You seem like you don't know anything about it, Steven. But I know that Marc does know about it.

- It's one thing to know it from a book or a talk and quite another thing to do it, I'm not like Marc. And you know, I lack practice.

I let out a nervous laugh as I walk over and take his hand, lacing our fingers together and giving it a light squeeze.

- Me too, Steven.

Fuck. Shit. We'll give her what she need as soon as she open that beautiful mouth. Let her tell us what she needs and I will kneel in front of her without hesitation. (Marc)

- What difference can there be between the books and that? It is human biology. Playback and stuff. The normal and natural between human beings - says the word "human" as if we were some kind of animal or insect.

- We're human too, Steven.

- I know. I'm sorry but I tend to start mumbling incoherently when I'm nervous.

I'm getting nervous and I'm not the virgin here, Steven. Listen to me well, you are NOT a virgin because I am not. Therefore, if there is someone here who is very nervous besides you, it is her. You have to focus on her. Not on you, hell. She has needs like you and me. Can't you see it? (Marc)

- I know... but I'm not you. Let's see when you understand, Marc – I contain a laugh as soon as I hear him respond to her other identity and pay attention to me again for a second – I'm sorry, Marc doesn't shut up. As do I, apparently.

- Don't worry, he reassures me that ust as nervous as me.

- I have… I have seen things, the politically correct in medical books but I don't really know what to do or how to handle it.

Khonshu, Osiris, Ammit, if you still have a chance to kill me, do it this instant before I throw both of us out the apartment window (Marc)

- I don't really know what to do or where to play either… So we're the same.

- What I am sure of is that I don't think you want to do it with someone who doesn't… know what to do.

There's that insecurity again. I shake my head as I listen to the sounds of cars around us and see the light from the full moon pouring in through the window, almost lighting up the bed completely, dimming the light from the lamp on the small bedside table.

Listen to me for a fucking second Steven, follow my words and nobody here will have a bad experience. Much more her. For you it will be paradise whether you do things well or not, but it will not be the same for her (Marc)

- Maybe, this is not how I imagined this would be, but the only thing I know is that I want to do it with you.

Ask her what she imagined her. Maybe she can enlighten us on what to do to make her feel good with us (Marc)

- What... That you had imagined you?

- To be honest? – Steven nods and sighs before blurting out the words as quickly as possible – Somebody teach me about it. Someone who makes me sigh and makes me forget even my name.

As soon as he finished saying those words, I feel the air around us begin to heat up, as if the room is on fire, and I also hear the air suddenly escape from Steven's mouth, as if he had received a blow to the chest. stomach.

As if my words had surprised him. Or scared.

Oh shit…let me do this, Steven. Leave me or I will take the body against your will. It's my last warning. I need to do this with her. (Marc)

- No. I need it too. - Her voice sounds safe, responding to something that Marc surely murmured in his head - I know I'll be wrong, maybe. Well, it's the safest thing but... I want to do it with you. Whatever I discover or experience, I want it to be with you, honey, but I don't want to hurt you.

Damnit Steve, If you listen to me, follow my instructions and do what I tell you, you will not go wrong. Fuck (Mark)

- I want to make this mistakes, this experience and this discover all this with you, Steven - I get close enough to rest my hands on her chest and feel his tremble under my hands. I let my hands slide slowly down his arms and enjoy the feel of my cool hands against his warm skin.

- Are you sure about this? Otherwise I can let Marc take control… To make it easier for you at least the first time.

That's right, use the brain Steven. Don't let adolescent hormones cloud you and leave this to me, I am the expert in this (Marc)

- No. I want you, not Marc. I love Marc as much as you, but I know that Marc knows everything he does, I even imagine that he has read the Kama Sutra more times than I imagine and than any normal human being could have done it, but I don't want him. I want you.

Don't listen to her Steven, she may be right about the Kama Sutra, but if you don't do things right, you will hurt her a lot and I know that the last thing you want is to hurt her for your pleasure (Marc)

- I do not want to hurt you.

- You will not do it. Trust in me. And will you do me the favor of trying not to listen to Marc?

Don't you dare, Steven. Don't you dare avoid me, not now (Marc)

- And most importantly, don't let him take control when you're inside me, because today I only want you. Are you listening to me?

Something in Steven changes when I say those words, because it seems that his eyes suddenly become brighter, as if he had gained a share of confidence with my statement, but as soon as I realize it, I find myself with my back against the bed and Steven located between my legs as if it were the most common situation in the universe.

And the mere sight of him on top of me makes me feel like melted jelly on the floor.

He gives me a slightly mischievous smile before leaning closer and murmuring against my lips.

- Loud and clear honey, loud and clear.

[616marcspector]

dude i will pay you to say more about autistic marc spector. fighting off your sister rn

*she runs off crying with a bloody nose*

omg ty gibs ur my hero

ALRIGHT TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE 'TISM. i spoke before about his body language and one scene i really love is the one with layla on the boat.

the way his hands keep moving in calming repetitive motions, the way he's looking at them instead of her for a bit (bc even those of us who are okay with eye contact still need to take breaks cuz it is Hard), the way he's a little jumpy and his speech is a little disjointed even though they're just chilling out on a boat bc we literally do not know how to relax (this one is especially common for autistic people with childhood trauma)

and you can really tell that he's holding everything in all the fuckin time like. you'll find this so much with autistics who had an abusive parent(s), bc we had to mask all the time for fear of attracting unwanted attention, it carries on to adulthood where we can hardly express any of our emotions properly bc we weren't allowed to simply Be Autistic when we were younger yk? like part of it is just the autistic experience of our resting face being like 😐 but then add to it a quiet, sad numbness so even when we're happy abt smthn it's just like a little :) bc we've been masking so long we can barely remember how we're Supposed to enjoy things yk? and like i've had to teach myself to experience things properly, i've had to consciously let myself flap my hands and make my funny little noises and i think someone should let marc know that it's safe for him to stim <3

another thing i've thought a lot about is how he seems to be masking less in ep5! and i think it's bc of the sheer shock of everything and how it's such a different environment and he's around someone he trusts a lot (steven) so he's just so overwhelmed he Has to lose it a bit yk? like compare the scene in ep2 where steven tells him everything is his fault to the scene in ep5 where steven tells him everything is his fault. in ep2, marc shouts, not incredibly loud, but loud enough. he kicks the mirror, lashing out but not physically hurting anyone. he notices the scarab is gone, yells, clenches his fists, etc, but he is still Tense Tense Tense. he's not expressing everything. then we go to ep5, he's gotten more comfortable with steven, there's no one else around, he's been having the most stressful day maybe ever. so when steven says those words, he just Screams. and he hits his head and it hurts but he keeps doing it bc the feelings are too much and He's Letting Himself Feel It. (watching that scene is almost funny to me because when i watched the moon knight trailer for the first time i did the same thing and then i didn't stop crying the whole day 😭). and then he's back in the office and harrow is there speaking gently and he gets something to hold and he's Quiet. and for me that is one of the only scenes where marc actually seems calm (or at least, calmer than usual). he's normally such a big bundle of nerves that feel like they're going to explode at any moment and in that scene he looks like he finally let some of it go.

anyway a different sister is distracting me now so im gonna stop here but please feel free to add on with any more thoughts you have bc autistic marc spector is literally one of my favourite topics in the world :)

[ignitedbynatsu]

He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Sting

A/N: Final-fucking-ly. excuse my language. You have no idea how long I’ve been playing with this idea in my head and just not being able to write it out. It was horrible. I hope you like it! I’ll try to post some more stuff the upcoming week but I can’t promise anything since everything is a bit overwhelming lately. Thank you for all the love and support! Don’t hesitate to drop me a request as well or just come and say hi 🥰

Warnings: insecurities (he makes you feel like you’re overdramatic), swearing, wounds

Genre: angst to fluff

Other versions:

Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Natsu ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Rogue

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"Is that really all you got, Yukino" you taunted the girl as a smug look was plastered on your face. The celestial mage was panting heavily in front of you. She had come to you a couple of weeks ago to learn how to wield a sword since she felt useless in a battle when she didn't have her keys. You happily agreed to it, seeing it as an opportunity to train more.

She charged at you, holding the diamond sword you made earlier diagonally in front of her face, ready to strike but at the same ready to block any attack that comes her way, just like you taught her.

You swiftly moved away, spinning on your feet in the progress as you slowly formed diamond armour around your body. You wanted to practise closer combat without your sword, which is why you were so focused on your defence. You knew you wouldn't always be able to rely on your sword skills, so this was the perfect moment to practice. 

Nobody doubted for a second the fact that you were an excellent swordswoman,it was the exact reason why Yukino came to you in the first place. But you could get overconfident, resulting in you slacking your moves and getting careless, and that's exactly what happened

Your back was still facing the celestial mage as you took your time, presuming she wouldn't be able to recover that quickly after you swept her feet from underneath her. But you were wrong, resulting in Yukino getting a direct hit on you. Unbeknownst to her, she hit you in your blind spot which was right in between shoulder blades. It was the spot where your armour was the weakest.

You fell forward, immediately forming a dome made out of diamond around you in an attempt to shield you from any following attempts.

 Yukino gasped at your reaction, knowing you only made that move when you were hurt badly "(Y/N)! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to-"

You let the shield crumble down again, making you visible to your friend. Placing a knee on the ground and pushing yourself up, you winced at the burning sensation. "It's fine, I was careless. It's not your fault"

Your reassuring words didn't ease the worry that was swimming through Yukino's mind "I'll go get some stuff to clean it up"

"No, it's fine, I'll go get it myself in a bit." You stopped the girl from running away as you stood up straight in an attempt to show her you were fine "you are progressing really fast"

"It's all thanks to you. Are you sure you don't need me to check up on your wound?" She offered again.

"Yeah, I'll be okay. Maybe I'll try roping Sting into pampering me. That way he'd at least has done something useful today" you attempted to joke to make the younger mage feel better, and it was a success as a small chuckled left her lips. "Let's go back shall we"

Once back, the stinging sensation had still not died down. In fact, it only got worse.

"Sting" you whined as you leaned your head against your boyfriend's shoulder.

He chuckled at your childishness as he turned to look at you "yes, my love?"

"I got badly hurt during training with Yukino" you pouted "can you take a look at it?"

A chuckle left his lips once again "sure drama queen, where is it?"

"I'm not being a drama queen" you stepped away from him, the pout was still evident on your face but this time it was paired with your scrunched eyebrows.

"Of course you're not" sarcasm dripping from the words that just left his mouth.

"What do mean by that?" Your lips were now tightly pressed together, forming a straight line. You were now standing directly in front of him with your arms crossed in front of your chest.

"Remember that time you thought Rogue got kidnapped while he just overslept?" Sting explained, but you were quick to defend yourself "in my defence, Rogue had never once overslept."

"Fine, what about that time I twisted my ankle and thought I had broken it for sure" the crease between your eyebrows deepened as he kept listing situations "or that time you thought some guy was harassing Minerva while they were just out on a date?"

"I was just worried" you mumbled as you recalled more encounters where you were indeed overdramatic.

  "All I'm saying is, you tend to enlarge things. That's why I'm pretty sure that it's only a scratch, after all, Yukino just learned how to handle a sword. There's no way she could've hit you, the best swordswoman of our guild, that hard. But if you want I could still look at the wittle wound" he cooed at you, unknowingly worsening your mood.

"No. It's fine. I'm probably just being overdramatic again" the coldness that was latched to your words, send shivers down the guild master's spine, but before he could even muster an apology, you had turned on your heels and left to go home.

That night when Sting came home, he apologized and told you he didn't mean to make you feel that way. However, his words felt shallow, leaving nothing but an empty promise to be better.

The following days, the burning sensation only got worse, but you kept telling yourself that it was nothing. It was probably only a scratch just like Sting said.

Ignoring the pain, you kept going on about your days like normal. You kept making mental notes to not get swallowed by the worry for your guildmates and blow everything out of proportion. You absolutely did not want to be known as the girl who cried wolf.

Nobody seemed to notice, at least, so you thought. The boy in the shadows that liked observing more than talking to people noticed every small change from the moment Sting called you overdramatic.

It's why he wasn't surprised when Sting called him one morning, panic coated every word he spoke "Rogue! (Y/N) isn't waking up! I don't know what happened! Shit! Rogue! Help! What do I do?"

"Get her to the hospital as soon as possible, I'll meet you there" he replied in a much calmer voice. He knew he'd make matters only worse if he'd let his own worry shine through.

Sting had successfully brought you to the hospital in under ten minutes, Rogue shortly arrived after you two.

"I don't know what happened... She seemed fine yesterday…" Sting trailed off as the twin dragon slayers were seated next to your hospital bed.

"Did she really though?" Rogue sighed which earned him a questioning look from the blonde " (Y/N) hasn't been herself for almost a week"

"What do you mean? She seems perfectly normal to me?" Sting's gaze averted from his friend to you as he tried to recall any odd behaviour, but nothing came to mind.

A heavy sigh left the raven-haired mage again "ever since you called her overdramatic, she's been acting more distant, being less expressive. I think you hit a nerve when you said those words"

Sting was quick to defend himself "it can't be that. I apologized that night, and she told me it was nothing, that she didn't care"

"Whatever you say" he mumbled as he noticed your hand twitching.

Sting quickly grasped that same hand and waited patiently for you to open yours, while anticipation filled his. "I'll go get a doctor"

Rogue re-entered with a doctor sooner after, once you were fully awake " Ah, miss (L/N) good to see you awake"

You nodded your head awkwardly before she continued "you had a nasty looking cut between your shoulder blades, were you aware of that?"

"Yes," you mumbled as you fiddled with your finger, afraid to make eye contact with anyone.

The doctor sighed as she put the clipboard down "there was an infection spreading from that wound due to pieces of diamond stuck in it. Had you waited any longer, you would have died. Why didn't you come sooner"

You felt incredibly small as all eyes were looking at you, waiting for you to respond "I didn't think it was that bad. I didn't want to seem overdramatic"

As soon as the last word rolled off your tongue, Sting's eyes grew wide in realization. Rogue was right. "We'll give you a moment"

"(Y/N)" you refused to meet his eyes, even when he grabbed your hand to stop you from fiddling, so he tried again but with a more stern tone this time "(Y/N) look at me"

You did as he requested and wished you could sink into the darkness as Rogue could right there and then. The hurt and disappointment that were swimming in his eyes made your gut wrench as you never intended to upset him "why didn't you say anything?"

"You said that I was being a drama queen and that there was probably nothing to be worried about, so I assumed that it was just that, me being my overdramatic self" you explained, your eyes averting again to your fingers that were now intertwined with Sting.

"I thought I told you I didn't mean that" he frowned at the fact that you didn't even dare to look at him.

"But you were right!" You explained fed up as frustration tears started to form in the corner of your eyes "I am overdramatic. I blow everything out of proportion. I am just a burden that brings unnecessary stress into everyone's lives"

"Okay stop that. First of all, you are not a burden, nobody thinks that so stop it. Second of all, I am really really sorry that I made you doubt yourself. You're not overdramatic, well maybe a little, but it's not a bad thing. It shows how much you care about all of us. I'd rather have you blow things out of proportion than minimalize it and have bad things happen like this" he explained.

"You really think so?" You ask, your watery eyes finally meeting his.

"I know so. I am so sorry for making you feel so insecure about yourself. That was never my intention, please forgive me" he pleaded.

"I forgive you, I'm sorry for not saying anything sooner about the wound" you reply as you kissed his hand.

"It's alright. Now get some rest, my love. I'll be here when you wake up"