#like yeah everything happening now is what everyone memory holed to hell

[khazrablood]

I have so much to say about how disgusting and repulsive this invasion was with the fabricated lies that manufactured consent through the NYT and friends. Like Iraq had 0 ties with 9/11, where instead the victim was Afghanistan due to the Taliban being the karma striking back at what the US had been doing there ages before, but people in the cabinet and government were frothing to find some way to get into Iraq again as well.

If you pay attention to the 70s - 90s then the US was already meddling in the region not the first time. Like this is all from shit the US had done decades earlier and is all linked together to cause us to be in the state that we are in now.

If you want more info that is easy to process with good sound design to keep your attention:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO THE BLOWBACK PODCAST.

Brendan and Noah use so many sources in each episode even down to listing what they used for EACH episode. They also interview journalists from these events and people that were directly affected (in their Cuba season they interviewed a Cuban who was a victim of the US program that kidnapped myriads of Cuban children and in their latest Cambodia season they traveled and interviewed people that were victims of the Khmer Rouge and saw the killing fields)

So far there are 5 seasons and these are their source pages if you are curious on further reading: 1 - Iraq 2 - Cuba 3 - Korea 4 - Afghanistan 5 - Cambodia

I missed most of the Iraq war due to being a baby, but every time I read about it I start wondering why we aren’t all talking about it all of the time

[dykealloy]

spoilers up to the end of dressrosa arc here but. I can't stop thinking about how Law takes on Rosinante's will. Corasan freed him from Doflamingo and the marines and the world government and everyone that ever could have touched him at the time, but has Law really felt free? “Everything I do until I die represents what Corasan achieved” is sweet until you recognise that Law is willing (and planned) to go to the grave for that belief. Until Doflamingo dies there is always a part of him stuck in that treasure chest, constrained by what Law felt happened to Corasan due to him that day.

It's crazy how textbook survivors guilt victim Law is (I’m new here so I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the first time this has been brought up), but let’s just quickly go over some symptoms:

Obsessive thoughts about the traumatic event ✅ (will go over this in greater detail below)

A sense of disconnection or detachment/need to isolate oneself from others ✅ (Law doesn't fully isolate himself but he definitely has his walls up at all times, though there are often subtle hints of him enjoying the company of the people he chooses to surround himself with. He is notably more reserved, emotionally unavailable, cold and distant than others around him, and watching closely you'll notice that even physically he has a tendency to situate himself three steps behind the group)

Insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks of the traumatic event ✅ (if we can assume some of his backstory expressed in Dressrosa are flashbacks, and also assuming that the perpetual eyeliner he wears are covering some pretty heavy eyebags. Also mention that the only time we see him resting is against Sunny's mast on the way to Dressrosa - and that was 1. a filler episode, and 2. if he was sleeping, it was very quickly interrupted by an attack by petplay guy - a nightmare in of itself)

Irritability and anger ✅ (though elements of this could just be attributed to Law's personality or a natural response to the straw hat's shenanigans, as well as Luffy's total inability to stick to a reasonable plan)

Feelings of despair and thoughts of suicide ✅ (that's Law's Dressrosa arc babe)

Now, there's many reasons why Law is unable to move past this guilt (an apparent lack of therapists in one piece being one of them) - but his inability to believe in unconditional love is likely the biggest offender.

Law may have started off (initially) with one of the most fortunate, stable beginnings, with a loving family and a big house in a rich country (wealth of which was built off the back of lies and corruption and the murder of innocent future generations - we'll get there). But he had a mother and a father who loved and nurtured Law (and were both highly respected doctors in their own right who citizens trusted and relied on). Law's happy beginnings really juxtapose the unfathomable horror that had been lying in wait in Flevance.

Even when shit started to hit the fan, at a very young age (<10 yrs old), Law was already stepping up and showing love for his little sister (lying to her when she was on her deathbed, knowing full well he would likely face the same fate after reading his charts, putting on a brave face for her so she wouldn't be afraid when the screams began to reach their front door, hiding her away when soldiers sieged their home and rushing to check on his parents). Given everything that happened in Flevance, it's completely understandable that, while Law will likely never forget the love his family gave him, remembering it became twisted in the lasting memories of his home — parents riddled with bullet holes. a closet holding a sick little sister waiting for him in a house engulfed by flames. stumbling through a town of friends, neighbours, just... people he used to pass by on the street, now all dead.

Seeing hell, knowing why and how it transpired, who were responsible (spoilers, the World Government; the same body that most citizens believe exist to protect them — yeah, sister "a merciful hand of salvation waiting to help" were perhaps the worst possible combination of words you could have left Law with here. Likely instrumental in having him lose his faith "I don't believe in anything anymore."), knowing he is the only survivor, and fated to die anyway due to the terminal illness that is slowly killing him because some figureheads years back were greedy and the governing powers above the figureheads were willing to cover up everything if it meant garnering a portion of wealth and maintaining influence and control. It's beyond grief, beyond rage. And there's absolutely nowhere Law can put it. No one he can retaliate against. Who could come out of hell knowing this and not want to see the world burn?

So, smart little Law escapes under a pile of bodies and goes to the one person infamously revered for being in the business of that kind of thing. And boy oh boy I can only begin to imagine how a young and impressionable Law - fresh from a genocide, with a hole in his heart and a hatred for everything still alive - had his concept of love warped whilst surviving those two years around Doflamingo and his family. A family where members are only welcome so far as they are useful to Doflamingo and his aspirations. Of course Law's going to pick up some fucked up ideas about how love works outside this little white fence he grew up and watched burn down.

Then. Enter Corazon.

Their relationship may begin on shaky legs (near-juvenicide via defenestration in a failed attempt to ward Law away from sticking around) but Corazon quickly becomes the one person in the world Law can trust and rely on again. And Rosinante can only do so much in terms of healing and guiding this broken kid (yes, his position both as Doffy's brother and as a double agent made things difficult, but need I mention he was only 26! 26 when he died!) but he showed Law kindness and compassion when he was at his lowest. He had faith in the existence of a cure that Law was long past believing. Was determined to help him, even against Law's wishes, even if it meant having Law relive his trauma over and over again. Corasan becomes incredibly important to Law, giving him a reason to live beyond just destruction and revenge.

After the rest of the world had long turned his back on him, when he had been nothing but a dying puddle of rage and self-destructive nihilism, Corasan saved Law. He told Law "Aishiteru" - a very rare way of saying "I love you", never used casually due to the depth of its meaning and the massive connotations behind it - in essence translating to "I love you so much I cannot possibly imagine life without you". There's a high likelihood that at his age, Law had never heard these words before, and probably didn't quite understand the weight of Rosinante saying it at the time.

Corasan frees Law, then he dies at the hand of Doflamingo, Rosinante's own brother.

All Rosinante wanted was for this poor kid to go on and live his life unburdened by his more than turbulent history and his connection to Doffy, but I think for all his planning, Rosinante's one critical error was well and truly underestimating how much him loving Law, and loving Law to the extent he did, would mean to that kid. Law really went from that ten year old hollow void sentiment of "why does anyone or anything at all get to exist when everything that was important to me is dead, burned to ashes and wiped off the map" to "I should have died at age thirteen and every second I've lived since then, I've only lived as a result of Corasan's efforts and as a personal affront to Doflamingo." This time, Law has a tangible, heinous 10 foot monster of a target to direct 1. his grief and anger and 2. justice for Cora towards, and this time he has the power and will to follow through. More than that, he believes Corasan sacrificed himself for him because he's a D. (someone destined to rain down destruction on the gods - Doflamingo, in this case). Corazon becomes a saint that Law dedicates the rest of his life to. Which is something that Law is not vocal about to just anyone he comes across, but is so unbelievably obvious once you know what you're looking at — his tattoos, his jolly roger, his crew, his ship, his ambitions, his beliefs, his fucking. custom-made Corazon jacket. all of it for this man that showed Law - at a time when he hated the world and everything in it - love. For all of six months. max.

And his whole life and personality and behaviour CONTINUES to be guided by this trauma — the way he's reckless with himself, his borderline self-destructive actions, the way he keeps telling himself that none of it would've been worth it unless Corasan's last wishes are fulfilled, the way he surrounds himself with bright people and soft things, the way it doesn't register that his crew genuinely loves and cares about him, the way he's terrified of losing anyone important to him again (and I would say this is one of his biggest downfalls as a Captain compared to someone like Luffy - who is just as reckless as Law is but trusts his crew, doesn't try to send them away, isn't afraid to let them grow and risk their lives for him like Law is with the heart crew), his inability to take a damn compliment. The way he doesn't understand Luffy AT ALL.

Doesn't understand that this alliance that he's brokered means nothing to Luffy because he sees him as FRIEND. No transactions or mutually beneficial pacts necessary. Doesn't get that he's the one that inadvertently asked Luffy to be his friend, thus breaking a long chain of people (mostly parental figures and siblings) abandoning or leaving Luffy behind/no one taking the first initiative to ask to be around him. Law is complete and utterly in the dark as to why someone would ever bat for him when the stakes are this high for no other reason than because they like them and care about them as a person.

Luffy, with his playground rules where he loves unconditionally and will take on the world for a friend he made five minutes ago, perplexes Law with his sheer simplicity.

When Sengoku tells Law, "Don't try to find a reason for someone's love", I do NOT think he takes it well. Because there must be a reason. There has to be. Between the two options of Corasan saving Law's life and freeing him because he believed in the will of D., or Rosinante saving him for no other reason than because Law was a kid that was loveable, and because he loved him unconditionally... everything we've learned about how Law functions up until this point suggests the former will always make more sense to him, and after everything he's been through, is most likely less painful for him to accept.

[atryoshka]

Frenchie and Izzy getting together would be genius and tbh I can't unsee it now

Love that Izzy and Frenchie actually have a lot in common on a deeper level that wasn't really apparent to me until s2 when we see how they deal with trauma in equal but opposite ways. We have Frenchie with his little box that allows him to straight up ignore the dark shit he's been through like it doesn't exist, happily eat some blood cake, and thinking that his death being given a clear deadline is a comfort. Then we have Izzy trying to stone face his way through having his body parts severed, just business as usual bc that's the pirate life and it won't change even though he's visibly holding back tears, and then accusing the crew of being too cowardly to kill him, actively inviting death bc he doesn't get why any of it even matters so keeping him alive is pointless.

What's interesting is that given the right circumstances, they could easily trade places, with Izzy being more lighthearted and Frenchie falling apart at the seams.

We've already seen signs of this with Izzy being much more chilled out after the crew made him the new unicorn, finding something in this terrible life that make him see them, and himself, in a more positive light. Like yeah, life is still filled with unimaginable horror, but now has a custom gold painted unicorn leg to trudge through it with, which is absolutely absurd but now he can't help but smile. So he decided his life is so unserious right now and you know what? A shark took his leg, end of story, here's a little wooden shark I made today just for fun lol. Frenchie on the other hand is still pretty relaxed despite everything that's happened so far, but I have a feeling that he was probably very similar to izzy in the past before he joined the crew of The Revenge. His past is pretty mysterious even with the little tidbits we get like him being in the service for bit. It doesn't sound like he was doing it for too long so the other things in his life that he doesn't talk about remain unknown, probably even to himself. The box exists so he can pretend any trauma he experiences doesn't even exist, unlike a fiction which still somewhat acknowledges that there was something that happened to him in a way he could accept. The truth is, he actually never moved on bc all the parts of his life that he's ignoring are still lurking inside him waiting to break out at anytime. I think when something accidentally triggers a memory he suppressed, we'll see a different side to him. Less chill, more shrewd survivalist, like when he and the others reunited with the revenge crew after being stranded at sea. He bounced back pretty fast after they got past the pinnata and cake standoff but it was interesting to see how ready he was to be violent and how untrusting he was of everyone's intentions in that context. He'd usually be much more chill and willing to fast talk his way out of a situation, even when he knows someone has bad intentions. (There's also probably something with religious trauma he's hiding but that's a whole other can of worms I won't get into. All I'll say is that combined with his very strong beliefs of the supernatural and grudging flippant way he does the cross symbol on himself when others do it, when they boarded the cursed ship, he was that only one to not step in the satanic circle before anyone even questioned what the strange lines even were. Did he immediately recognize it and consciously avoid it or was it gut reaction? Idk, but he sure as hell didn't speak up about it and just wearily watched the other step into it and draw their own conclusions. ) But getting back on track Honestly, their dynamic would be really interesting to explore in the show bc they could understand and care about each other in ways that would probably surprise them if given the opportunity to spend more time together on screen. tl;dr: All this to say that I fell down the rabbit hole after realizing that they are basically this meme, which has a lot of potential for so many hilarious and accidentally heartbreaking moments

[thevoidstaredback]

There's a feeling that people who have died and come back feel. It's not easily shared or described, but it's there. It feels different to each person. To Jason, it feels like a cup of hot chocolate that's fresh off the stove, the smell of old books, waking up in the morning and being just so warm.

Before he'd been killed, he remembered that everything was bright. It was bright and magical and he always felt like he was being hugged by his mom when she was lucid. Then, after he'd died, after he'd come back, everything was cold and empty and dull. He’d honestly forgotten what colors looked like.

He had no idea what happened, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care or be upset. The Pit that had lingered in the back of his mind, rearing its ugly head when emotions got too high, was gone. It didn’t leave a hole or anything, but he knew it was gone.

In his dreams, he remembered hearing a voice. He didn’t know what they said, just that he felt lighter.

Jason found Danny in the library just after breakfast. Bruce and Tim, with Alfred confirming, had both said that he was still in the Manor and Jason needed to talk with him.

“What are you?” he asked the second the door closed behind him.

Danny didn’t look up from the book he was reading. “A psychopomp. Why?”

Well, that explained a few things. It also brought up so many more questions. “Did you do something to me?”

“To you? No. To that memorial in the Cave? Yes.”

It was weird to not feel the Pit stirring at the mention of the case. He took a seat on the chair opposite where Danny was sitting. “What did you do? I feel lighter, and the Pit’s gone.”

Danny turned the page in his book, raising his eyebrow as he said, “‘The Pit’?” Jason shook his head and Danny continued, “You feel lighter because it’s gone. The corrupt emotions plaguing your mind? I got rid of them for you.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s my job.”

“Your job? I thought you were King?”

Finally, Danny closed his book and put it on top of the other four on the table next to him. “As King, my primary function is to guide Souls. The method varies depending on the task. Sometimes I council, other times I make a rule. Souls are free to do as they please as long as they don’t upset the balance.”

“Okay..?”

“You’re a very well learned man, Jason. Tell me, what’s a psychopomp do?”

“Guide souls to the afterlife?”

“We act as bridges, free to cross between Realms as needed, privileged to help and maintain. You feel lighter because you’re no longer lost.”

“That’s,” Jason began, “That’s a lot of information.”

“Yeah, well, it’s the least I could do.”

“What do you mean?”

“No one came to get you when you were fourteen, and you were forced to wander.”

The silence between them fell heavy.

“It’s okay-”

“It’s not okay! It’s my job to make sure no one gets looked over- that everyone finds their peace, and yet-”

“So maybe it’s not entirely ‘okay’, but it’s what I got! Besides, now I can get away with making zombie jokes and no one can say otherwise.”

Danny snorted. “Death jokes are the best.”

“Right? Especially because no one can refute them.”

The two laughed.

***

The members of the Justice League Dark were in the kitchen when he arrived, pizza and soda and wine sitting on the counter despite it being ten in the morning.

“Good marrow, everyone,” Phantom yawned.

The others in the room all started yawning and he smirked. It worked every time.

“You’re sounding very Kingly this morning.” Deadman said, “Something happen?”

“Meh,” he shrugged, “It comes and goes.”

There was a tiny smile on Raven’s face. “Just like the one brain cell you have?”

“Exactly!” Phantom grinned, “She gets it!”

Zaranna gasped dramatically. “You have a functioning brain cell?!”

“Sometimes,”

“Alright, alright,” Constantine said through another yawn, starting everyone else up again, “Have some pizza and tell us what the hell you meant last night.”

Phantom looked at the wine. “This early in the morning?”

Pulling the bottle closer to herself, Zatanna scowled, “Shut up.”

Raven yawned again. “Isn’t there something to stop all this yawning?”

The answer, somehow, is no. Not in any of the Infinite Realms is there a way to make yawning not contagious.

Sitting at the table, Phantom retold his night. Obviously, he left out details that didn’t include them, skipping over them with the explanation of Kingly Duties. After a full hour of talking, the discussion was finally opened to the table.

“Let me get this straight,” Deadman said, “Batman’s father-in-law is maybe probably trying to get into the Realms to challenge you to a duel?”

Phantom shrugged, “I mean, yeah? Baty and his cauldron think so at least. And the evidence points to them, so I’m inclined to believe.”

“That’s great and all,” Zatanna interrupted, “But what about the Coma Case? There are still new reports coming in every day,”

“That’s what I don’t get about this,” Phantom agreed, “I think we’ve got two different cases going on.”

“Completely unrelated?” Raven asked.

“Completely unrelated.”

Constantine sighed heavily, throwing back whatever was left in the flask in his hands. “You said you talked to Lady Gotham?”

“Yeah,”

“What’d she say?”

“In so many words? She didn’t give us the simple answers she had because…” he trailed off, realization hitting him.

“‘Because’,”

“Because someone’s working for the enemy.”

“What?!”

“Either whoever’s behind this has someone on the inside or- Shit!” Everyone stood with him, chasing after him as he flew to the basement door. “Deadman, with me!”

“Yes, sir!”

“Zatanna, start looking for any Realms Beings in Gotham. Raven, Connie, I need you guys to make sure not a hint of anything has spread beyond us and Batman.”

“What the hell is going on?!” Constantine demanded.

“No time to explain!” Opening the door, Phantom and Deadman disappeared into the Infinite Realms.

Part 22 Part 24

[kathlare]

fault lines

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: During a family dinner in New York, Amelie’s brief respite from her demanding career is disrupted by an unexpected revelation.

Wordcount: 1.1 k

Warnings: just fluff

full masterlist // request over here!

May 8th, 2023 - New York City, NY

The warm hum of conversation filled the small, upscale restaurant tucked in the heart of New York City. Amelie sat between her brother Callum and her father, Elias, the gentle buzz of her family’s chatter offering a temporary reprieve from the overwhelming pressure of her tour. The past few months had been a whirlwind of sold-out shows, sleepless nights, and long flights, but tonight was a rare moment of respite. Her parents, siblings, and Checo had flown in from Miami, fresh off the Grand Prix, to watch her perform live.

The dinner was supposed to be relaxed, a celebration of family and Amelie’s success, but she couldn’t shake the unease that had been sitting in her chest all day. Perhaps it was exhaustion or the growing distance between her and Rodrigo, who was still in Spain training for the upcoming season.

Her mother’s hand on hers brought her out of her thoughts.

—You’ve been quiet tonight, mi amor,— Victoria said, her eyes warm and full of concern. —Is everything okay?—

Amelie gave her a small smile, forcing herself to push the worries aside. —Just tired, Mamá. Touring’s catching up to me.—

Her father nodded knowingly. —You’ve been working too hard. But at least now you’ve got us here. We’re not leaving until we’ve embarrassed you by crying in the front row.—

—Papá,— she groaned, though her lips curled into a genuine smile this time.

Checo, sitting across from her with Stella by his side, chimed in. —I’m just here to tell everyone backstage that I’m your favorite brother-in-law. Gotta keep my title.—

—You’re my only brother-in-law,— Amelie shot back playfully, though the warmth in her tone made everyone chuckle.

As plates of food were set down in front of them, Jack leaned back in his chair with a smug grin. "Speaking of titles, I think I’m officially the worst golfer in the family now."

—What?— Elysia said, narrowing her eyes at her twin. —Since when are you even considered a golfer?—

—Since last week,— Jack replied, his grin growing wider. —Got invited to play in Miami with Dad, Zak Brown, and some other guys. It was a disaster.—

Amelie’s head snapped up at the mention of McLaren, her chest tightening instinctively. —Wait, Zak Brown? As in… McLaren’s Zak Brown?—

Jack nodded, smirking as he reached for his drink. —The one and only. Don’t get too excited, though. He wasn’t there to see me. It was all Dad’s thing. Apparently, they’re buddies now.—

Elias chuckled, clearly amused by the memory. —He’s a good guy. Knows his stuff about motorsports, that’s for sure. Though I’m pretty sure he was regretting inviting me after the third hole. My swing’s gone to hell.—

—Hold up,— Amelie interrupted, her brows furrowing. —What exactly were you doing playing golf with Zak Brown?—

—Oh, it was just a casual thing,— Elias said, waving a hand dismissively. —Some McLaren sponsors were there too. I didn’t want to go, but Zak insisted.—

—Yeah, it was casual until he showed up,— Jack cut in, leaning forward with a mischievous grin. —Your boy Lando. You should’ve seen it, Amelie. It was like watching a soap opera. Dad looked like he wanted to throttle him.—

The air around the table shifted immediately. The lighthearted atmosphere that had filled the room moments earlier evaporated as quickly as it had come, replaced by a palpable tension. Amelie’s heart dropped at the mention of his name, her fork freezing midway to her mouth.

—Lando?— she asked, her voice tighter than she intended.

Elias’ jaw clenched ever so slightly, his expression darkening. —He happened to be there, unfortunately. I wasn’t particularly thrilled about it.—

Checo exchanged a glance with Stella, his lips pressing into a thin line as he silently reached for his glass of water. He knew better than to say anything yet.

Jack, oblivious to the growing discomfort, leaned back in his chair, clearly enjoying himself. —Not thrilled? That’s putting it lightly. Dad practically gave the guy a death stare the entire day. If looks could kill, I don’t think he’d have made it past the ninth hole.—

—Jack,— Stella hissed, giving him a warning glare.

But Amelie wasn’t looking at Jack anymore. Her focus had shifted entirely to her father. —What happened?— she asked, her voice steady despite the storm swirling inside her.

Elias sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face. —It’s nothing, princesa. Just an unpleasant surprise seeing him there, that’s all. I might’ve said a few things to let him know he wasn’t welcome.—

Amelie’s stomach churned. She didn’t need details to fill in the blanks. Elias was fiercely protective of her—always had been—and she could only imagine what kind of indirect jabs he’d thrown at Lando. The thought made her chest tighten uncomfortably.

—A few things?— Jack snorted. —Dad basically told him to stay the hell away from you. Oh, and then he threw in something about him breaking your heart. You should’ve seen Lando’s face. I almost felt bad for the guy.—

—Jack!— Victoria snapped, her tone sharp. —That’s enough.—

But Amelie barely heard her. Her mind was spinning, the room suddenly feeling too warm. She dropped her fork onto her plate with a clatter, pushing it away as she leaned back in her chair.

—Amor,— her mother said softly, her hand reaching for hers again. —Don’t let this upset you. Your father was just being protective.—

—Protective?— Amelie repeated, her voice rising slightly. —Papá, what were you even thinking? I told you months ago that Lando and I were done. We’re nothing to each other anymore.—

Elias frowned, his expression softening as he looked at her. —You may think that, but I know better. I know how much he hurt you, Amelie. And if you think I’m going to stand by and pretend everything’s fine when I see him acting like nothing happened, you’re wrong. He doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near you.—

Amelie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She didn’t want to have this conversation here—not in front of her entire family, not in the middle of a crowded restaurant. But the damage was already done.

—What exactly did you say to him?— she asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Elias hesitated, glancing at Stella, who gave him a subtle shake of her head as if to warn him against saying too much. But Jack, of course, had no such reservations.

—Oh, you know, the usual dad stuff,— Jack said, smirking. —“Stay away from my daughter,” “You broke her heart,” “You’ll never be good enough for her,” blah, blah, blah.—

—Jack, for God’s sake!— Stella snapped, clearly fed up with his antics.

But Amelie didn’t react to Jack’s teasing. Her eyes were fixed on her father, searching his face for any hint of regret or remorse. She didn’t find any.

—You had no right,— she said finally, her voice trembling with barely contained frustration. —Papá, this is my life. My past. Not yours. You can’t just... just insert yourself into it like that.—

—Amelie,— Elias began, but she cut him off.

—No. You don’t get to do this. Not anymore.�� She pushed her chair back, the sound grating against the floor as she stood. —Excuse me.—

She didn’t wait for anyone to respond. Grabbing her bag, she turned and walked briskly toward the exit, ignoring the concerned voices calling after her.

As the door swung shut behind her, the cool evening air hit her like a slap to the face. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside her, but it was no use. The weight of everything—her father’s overprotectiveness, Lando’s lingering presence in her life, the distance growing between her and Rodrigo—was suffocating.

She leaned against the side of the building, closing her eyes and letting the noise of the city wash over her. But even then, she couldn’t escape it. The memories. The what-ifs. The lingering ache of a love she’d tried so hard to forget.

And the worst part? A small, stubborn part of her knew her father wasn’t entirely wrong.

[and-claudia]

Against All Odds (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

wordcount: 2363

warnings: death, blood, cannon typical violence

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

Ten years. Ten long years in Boston. I couldn’t even tell you what it was like living anywhere else. These ten years felt like twenty and everything before getting here just seemed to melt together. The only thing I could remember was losing everyone. From Ma, Alan, Roy, and Marc on the first night of the outbreak. To Chris in Knoxville. 

By the time they made it to Boston, only Zeak, Scott, Pa, and I were left. How had this happened? It wasn’t even the fucking cordyceps that took most of them, only Ma. And now, it was only Pa and I in our little apartment. 

Zeak got caught up in some illegal shit. Something about dealing pills to someone. He missed a deadline on a payment. I was told they shoved him off one of the buildings. That story spread like wildfire. Even now, 6 years later you can still hear whispers about the poor country boy who got too big for his britches. 

Scott died about a year ago. Our block was notorious for fireflies breaking out in gunfights. Scott got caught in the crossfire. I found him, shot full of bullet holes in the alley by our building. He was only a few feet from the door. He had almost made it. I held him as he bled to death in my lap, knowing there was nothing I could do. Even after his hand that was grasping mine went limp, I held on. He was all I had. Pa still resented me for what happened to Chris, even with his memory failing him, he remembered that much. The nightly patrol found us and took his body from me and escorted me upstairs. 

When I got there, his blood was still all over me. 

“Where the hell have you been, girl?” 

“You’re not wonderin’ where Scott is?” I asked. 

“He’s a man he knows how to handle himself just fine.” 

“Really? You wanna know whose blood this is?” I snapped. 

He stayed silent. 

“It’s Scotts. You hear those gunshots earlier? Yeah, those landed themselves in your son. He bled to death out in the alleyway. He’s gone! He’s dead! Just like everyone else! You happy, Pa? Huh? You gonna blame me for this one too?” 

I did wait for him to answer. I stormed out of the small living room and went into the bedroom.

After that, Pa and I hardly talked. His memory got worse. I swear there towards the end he couldn’t remember why he hated me just that he did and that was that. But we were all each other had left. So when he died, it still hurt. I was now alone.

But life goes on. I found him in his bed yesterday morning. I knew he’d be getting tossed in the burn pit today. Just my luck that is where I was stationed to work. I got up, got dressed, and headed out.

I said hi to the regulars I saw along my route. Despite the events of yesterday, I went on with a smile. No need to make my problems anyone else’s or make anyone feel my sorrow with me. A few of them offered me their sympathy, which I took gratefully. 

I checked in at the workstation and then went to my assigned area. As I scanned the area I didn’t see anyone I recognized. Sometimes that was nice other times it was nice to have someone to talk to, it helped pass the time. 

Work went by uneventfully until I saw him.

 "Careful with that one!" The words left my mouth before I realized it. 

The man that was about to pull my father's corpse out of the truck gave me a weird look. 

"Sorry." I said quickly. 

"You know him?" He asked. I couldn’t tell if his tone was sympathetic or just annoyed. 

"My dad." I said, stepping over to help him. 

He gave a small nod, “Give me a hand then.” 

We hauled him over and tossed him into the pit. I took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. 

"Don't cry. Not here." The man mumbled, patting my arm roughly and I nodded. 

We continued to work in silence after that. Until we were leaving at least, then I spoke up again. 

"Hey, I don't see you around often. Do you jump jobs or something?" I asked. 

He nodded, "I go for whatever's paying the most at the moment." 

"Well, what's paying right now?" I asked. 

"Why would I tell you?" 

"Look man, we just tossed my father into the pit. I'm kinda on my own now. I need money." I reasoned. 

He sighed and I could tell he was thinking it over. 

"Come on." He nodded for me to follow. 

It definitely wasn’t going to be the funnest job, none of them were, but money is money. 

"Thank you..." 

"Joel." 

"Yn. It's nice to meet you." I said holding out my hand for him. 

He nodded and shook it. Then we went our separate ways.

The next morning I found him fairly quickly as we headed in for our shift. 

"Good morning," I said quite cheerfully. 

He side-eyed me, clearly not happy to be up so early. 

"Why are you in such a good mood?" He huffed. 

"I woke up this morning." 

"And...?" 

"That's it. I'm alive to see another day." I explained.

"You're optimistic." He gruffed. 

I smiled at him, as I opened the lid on my thermos. I took a drink and nearly gagged before holding it over to him. 

“What is that?” 

“Why don’t you tell me.” I nodded to it to signal him to take a whiff. 

His eyes went wide when he smelt what it was. 

“Have some.” 

He hesitated before taking the thermos and taking a drink of it. I watched with a small smile as the coffee visibly woke him up more. 

‘That’s so good shit right there.” 

“My old man had a stash of it that I was never allowed to touch… I hate it. The rest of what I have is yours if you want it.” I offered. 

“What do you want for it?” He asked, clearly skeptical of my offer. 

“Nothin’.” I shrugged. 

“That’s a lie. Everyone here wants something for something. Nothing is free. So what do you want for it? I willin’ to bet I can get my hands on it.” He said. 

“Damn, you’re determined to get some coffee, aren’t you? How about a friend?” I asked. To be honest despite his rough exterior and not knowing him long I was warming up to him. I didn’t really have friends so why not. 

“What?” 

“Look, I don’t really have anyone anymore, so yeah, a friend would be nice right now.” 

His face softened and he held out his hand for me to shake, “Deal.” he said with a small smile. 

I smiled back at him as I took his hand and shook it. 

Our friendship grew from that day on. We worked nearly every day together. And even spent our days off together. One afternoon we were sitting on the roof of my apartment building having lunch when he asked me where I was from. 

“Texas.” I replied. 

“No, shit, me too.” He said with a small smile. 

“I feel like now would be the time where I am supposed to ask what part of Texas but, I honestly wouldn’t know the difference,” I admitted. 

“It’s okay, what part were you from?” 

“Canton.” 

“Oh, I know that place, cute little town.” He commented. 

Things were great, then I met Tess. She didn't like me much and didn’t seem too keen on my joining them outside of the city but Joel eventually convinced her. 

Then about a year after we met things went south for me. My block was taken over by the FireFlies. I got caught in the crossfire. I collected what I could of my belongings, which wasn't much, to begin with. I made it out with a shot to my shoulder. It hurt like bitch but I kept going I made it to Joel's and pounded on his door to be let in. 

He threw it open and his face dropped when he saw the blood seeping through my top. 

"What the hell?" He pulled me into his apartment. 

"Fire Flies." I answered. 

"Gunshot?" 

I nodded and all but collapsed into the chair at the table.

"Hey, stay awake." He said to me before calling for Tess. 

"Why'd the kid bleeding?" She said, almost annoyed. 

"I'm not kid." I shot back. 

"Cut it out you two! Get the tweezers." He said to her, she sighed and grabbed them, getting ready to help me.

Joel began reaching for the hem of my top. 

"I gotta take this off, okay?" He asked gently. 

"Buy me dinner first." I joked, not really thinking about the consequences of my words, but we flirted all the time so it shouldn’t be an issue. 

He laughed a little and slowly and carefully took it off. I hissed in pain. 

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Where?" Tess asked large tweezers in her hand. 

"Back of shoulder." I said leaning forward.

She went to work and the moment I felt the cool metal touch the raw flesh I flinched. 

"Damnit, stay still, kid!" She reprimanded me. 

"Sorry, hurts." My eyes watered. 

She went in again and I flinched. 

"Okay, Yn, imma hold you down, okay?" Joel asked. 

I nodded lazily. 

"Keep your eyes open." He said, holding me down to the table. 

I felt the cold metal touch my skin once again but didn't flinch this time. 

"Fuck!" I gasped in a breath of air as I felt her pinch the raw flesh of my wound instead of the bullet. 

"That's not the bullet you fucker, that's me!" I said through gritted teeth. 

"Joel, it's wedged in there..." Tess said quietly. 

"Just cut it out. I few extra stitches is better than dying of infection." I said reaching for my knife in my pocket. 

I got it and tossed it on the table. Joel quickly grabbed it and poured some alcohol on it to disinfect as best he could. 

"Can I hold your hand?" I asked, holding out my good arm.

He nodded and slid his hand into mine. I squeezed the hell out of it as I felt the blade cut into my shoulder. 

"Breathe, Yn. You gotta breathe through it." Joel said, taking deep breaths to get me to mime him. 

Focusing on him helped and soon enough it was all over and I was stitched up. 

"There you go kid." Tess said, patting my other shoulder. 

"M'not kid." I slurred as I leaned more into the table. 

"Here go lay down on my bed, you'll be more comfortable." He said, helping me stand.

I stumbled but he was quick to catch me, "Can I borrow a shirt? I got blood on mine." 

He laughed a little, "Yeah I'll get you one in a minute." 

Once he got me into a new shirt and laying down he sat beside me on the bed. 

"Sorry bout the floor. I'll clean it later." 

"Don't worry bout that. Just rest." He said, giving me one last look over before standing to leave. 

“Wait…” I called out and he stopped. 

“Will you stay with me?” I asked quietly. 

Joel stayed silent for a moment, “I’ll be right back.” 

He left and I could hear muffled voices through the walls but couldn’t make out what was being said. Then I heard the door slam and a few moments later Joel walked in. I gave him a confused look. 

“What happened?” 

He shook his head, “Tess left. It’s okay. Get some rest.” 

“You too, come on.” I used my good arm to lift the blanket up beside me. 

I could tell he thought about it for a moment. But a moment later he was shedding his boots and crawling into the bed beside me. From that night on we shared a bed. Our relationship grew more and more and although we never officially defined it, we understood that we had something together. 

A little over a year after that night was my first time leaving the QZ. I was very nervous but Joel assured me everything would be okay and that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. It was the night before we were supposed to leave. Joel and I were laying in bed together and I couldn’t settle down. 

“Be still.” He mumbled. 

“Sorry.” I tried not to sniffle but failed. 

He pushed himself to sit up and turned on the small lamp beside him, “What’s wrong?” 

I bit my lip trying not to break down, I was embarrassed by how scared I was to leave the QZ. Part of me was still very insecure that I was so much younger than he was. I never wanted him to think that I was immature. I sat up with him and pulled my knees to my chest. 

“I don’t know if I should go tomorrow…” I whispered. 

“Why not? Did Tess say somethin’ to you? Because she’s just trying to get in your head. We’ve never taken anyone out with us before. It’s more risky, but I promise you’ll be fine.” 

“How do you know?!” I snapped at him, “How do you know?” I repeated much quieter as the tears began to fall as the memories of being attacked by an infected all those years ago resurfaced. 

Joel pulled me to sit between his legs as he held me tight. 

“What happened, sweetheart?” He asked gently. 

“On our trip here from Knoxville, we were less than 5 miles away from the QZ, I got attacked…” I continued to tell the story of what happened that day and how Scott had helped me. 

“Sweetheart, I promise, nothing is going to happen to you tomorrow.” He said gently, pressing a kiss to my temple. 

He continued to hold me before I began falling asleep in his arms. Then he carefully laid us back down but continued to hold me close as we both drifted off to sleep.

I had to fix the taglist, if you're tag is not working please let me know.

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[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 3: Me and the Devil

Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton × OFC Stella Daniels

Rating: M? (Still figuring out the rating system) (might eventually be M anyhow)

Warnings: violence, language, I’m not even sure what to add, I think this chapter is pretty tame?

Word count: 4,892ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot for being a sounding board for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, a cheerleader, and allowing me to screech at her about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far.

Author’s note: I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well! 💛🤓

After Stella had jumped out Abigail’s stall window, she raced to the bunkhouse. She was pretty sure she had left her keys on the kitchen table. Swinging the door open, she saw the orange wrist strap on the table in front of her. She bounded forward and snatched them off the table then raced off to her car. Her brother and Colby had perplexed looks on their faces, but they shook it off as she drove away.

Pulling up to Monica and Kayce’s portion of the reservation, she got a few weird looks before people realized who it was. She placed the car in park behind Kayce’s truck. Hopping out she heard Tate holler from across the yard.

“Aunt Stella!”

“Hey lil dude!” She let out a small oomph as he ran into her legs and gave her a quick hug.

“Me and dad found a dinosaur! Come look!” He grabbed her hand and tugged her in the direction of a giant crater.

“A dinosaur?! What? That’s so cool!” She exclaimed. Most people would probably just be placating him, but Stella actually thought it was pretty neat. She gave Kayce a glance and a smile as his son dragged her past him. Stella slid her glasses back up her nose. Tate hopped down into the hole and explained everything he could about the fossil at lightning speed.

Kayce strolled up to the edge of the crater he had made in his yard. He focused on Stella and watched her show genuine interest in what his son talked about. He thought it was sweet.

“So you wanted to talk about a horse?”

Stella nodded and backed up from the hole. “Yeah, about Tank.”

“That horse, which you’ve apparently named,” he gave her a pointed look, knowing how she was once she named something, “was a gift to my father. That’s his problem now.”

“And by default it’s a problem child that I also have to work with.”

“Well that’s part of your job, Stell.”

“Thank you, smart ass. I know that. However, that horse is very much yours.” Stella gave him a sharp look of her own. “His demeanor and deliberate, planned movement says it all.” She giggled at the memory of this morning. “Not to mention his high distaste for your father. He barely listens to me, let alone anyone else that isn’t you.” Kayce snorted in amusement. “Hell, he almost wrecked your dad this morning before I got to them. He flipped on him.”

“I feel like it’s an even trade then.”

“Kayce…” Stella chided him. “There was also something else I wanted to tell you —,” before she could get any further, the sound of a truck caught their attention. Stella’s heart dropped as she saw that it was John. She wasn’t sure what exactly the conversation she overheard was about, but she knew it couldn’t be good. She also wasn’t entirely positive they didn’t hear her trying to leave.

She bit her lip as she tried to convince herself that John hadn’t heard her. He had bigger fish to fry it seemed. Surely he wouldn’t be concerned with some random noises in a barn.

John walked up to the twosome. “Stella, what are you doing here?”

“I was talkin’ about that horse like you asked, sir.” He raised an eyebrow at her, wondering why she came here just for that.

He looked at Kayce. “I’m gonna go see my grandson.” He then walked over to the fossil and Tate.

Stella turned to her best friend. “Hey, I got Monica some flowers. Is it okay if I go to the house?”

Kayce shrugged. “Yeah, just knock first.”

Grabbing them out of her passenger seat, she made her way to the front door. She thumped the door a few times before she heard light footsteps make their way to the door. She was greeted with Kayce’s wife looking confused.

“Hey, Stella. What are you doing here?”

“I had to talk to Kayce about that horse he gave his dad. John asked me to this mornin’. I had asked Kayce if I could meet him here and he said it was okay with you guys. I hope you don’t mind?” Stella brought the flowers close to her stomach.

“No, no. It’s okay. Come in.” Monica ushered her inside.

“I brought these for you. That’s also why I wanted to stop by here. I’m really sorry about your brother.” Stella couldn't even begin to fully understand the feeling. If she went far enough into the thought, it made her want to shut down at the thought of losing Ryan. She might not have been the biggest fan of Robert herself, but she wouldn’t have wished death on him.

It was quiet as Monica studied Stella. Almost as if she was feeling out her intentions. “Yeah, me too.” Monica stepped forward to take the flowers and the condolences. She gave Stella a quiet thank you and placed them in the center of the dining table. Stella let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

“So what about that horse?” Monica busied herself in the kitchen cleaning up from breakfast before her shower.

“Oh it’s a thousand times your husband's horse. I told Kayce that I understood it was a present to his dad, but he’s not the one that works with the horses every day. So that means that mustang is my problem as well. If his dad lets me keep the position, that is. I’m good at my job. I mean as good as Kayce and Lee got me to be, but that stud ain’t gonna completely listen to anyone who isn’t Kayce.”

Monica huffed out a laugh as she placed the dish towel on the counter. “That sounds about right for him.” Stella joined her with a laugh of her own. Monica motioned to the couch. “Let’s sit.” Monica seated herself on the plush couch but the window. “So how are you holding up? You seem fine, but you’re just like Kayce. You hide it well.”

Stella shrugged with a flat chuckle. “I wouldn’t say we hide it well. I like to call it compartmentalizing.” She made eye contact with Monica. Both women knew the best friends held things in, dealt with them alone, and eventually reached a boiling point. Stella was blowing smoke. “I dunno.” She reached down to fiddle with a loose string from the couch. “I suppose I’m alright. I’m more worried about Kayce because it was his brother. You know?”

“I do.” Monica paused. “But Lee was also your coworker. Your friend. The Duttons aren’t the only ones who lost someone. All of the employees did too.” Monica was being logical. Stella struggled with feeling selfish, even though her grief was just as appropriate as the Duttons’ was.

Monica chimed in again. “You’re allowed to miss him. You’re allowed to be sad, Stella. I’m almost certain Kayce would tell you the same thing.”

Lee had been around for the very formative years of her life. And just like Kayce, Lee had been a constant. Stella pushed her glasses back up and looked at Monica. “I know.”

Monica sighed. “I can hear your “but” forming already.” The one thing she wished Stella wouldn’t do, was ignore herself to take care of everyone else she cared about.

Stella groaned. “I just don’t want anyone to worry about me. Plus, do you know how hard it is to talk to a bunch of cowboys about feelings?”

Monica nodded. “Yeah I do. I have one who’s clammed up tight, remember?” She looked out the window at her husband and father in law. “Has he said anything to you? At all?”

“No. He usually goes to you before me, which I would expect.” Stella crossed her leg over the other at the knee. “Enough about me. How are you? Like truly? Because you lost someone too.”

There was a sigh and a long pause from Monica. The dark haired woman looked longingly out the window again at her husband. “I’m alright. Taking it day by day. Trying to work through the feelings as they come. I’m just confused as to why he won’t talk to me about what happened out there.”

“I know it’s not my place, but can I offer my opinion?” Stella looked between the window and Monica.

Monica shrugged. “Sure. It couldn’t hurt. You knew him before I did.”

“Coming from someone who, like we determined earlier, also clams up when things get heavy, he probably doesn’t want you to have to carry the burden. He wants to make sure you and Tate are good and safe. He wants to worry about himself last. I don’t think it’s out of distrust or anything like that.” Stella pursed her lips in contemplation. “Just like I do with the horses, let him come to you. Drop little reminders that you’re here to talk when he’s ready. He will definitely take his time, but he’ll break, and make his way to you.”

“I hope you’re right.” They both heard John’s truck pull away.

“I think that’s my cue. I’ll talk to Kayce again about Tank some other day.” Both women stood. Stella asked, “can I give you a hug?” Monica nodded and they embraced just long enough for the sentiment to be passed between them.

“Thank you. Be safe on your way home, yeah?”

Stella giggled. “I always try, but I make no promises.” Stella winked and headed out the door. She almost tripped over Kayce, who was now seated on the steps that led up to the porch. “Shit!”

“Sorry, Stell. Dad just left.”

“Yeah I heard. What did he have to say?”

Kayce didn’t look at her. “Ah, just his usual bullshit. You know him.”

Stella scrunched her face up at his back. Something felt off. She noticed he was quieter than normal. He wasn’t lying, but to Stella, it felt like he was glazing over something. She placed a pin in that for later, deciding to choose her battles today.

Stella hopped down to the bottom of the stairs. “I’m gonna head out too. I’ll talk to you more about Tank man later on, okay?”

“Yeah.”

She turned and peered intently at him. “You sure you’re okay?” It was a loaded question, but she had to ask. She couldn’t bring herself to leave without doing so.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. You be safe on the way home.”

She laughed. “Why does everybody think I’m gonna drive off the road?” She walked over to her car and Kayce followed.

“I know you, that’s why.”

“Pfft. Yeah. Sure you do, cowboy.” She stood up on the sidebar of the car to see over top in Tate’s direction. “See ya later lil dude!”

They heard a faint response of, “Bye Aunt Stella!”

She turned her gaze back to Kayce as she swung into her car. “See ya later, cowboy.” She smiled at her best friend’s wife still standing in the doorway. “Monica.” Kayce shut her door behind her.

Stella had gotten back to the ranch in one piece. She decided to hang out with her brother for a little bit. She missed him. The craziness of the last few days had taken over and she needed her safety net. The siblings sat in the same position on Ryan’s top bunk. Their backs were against the wall, their legs drawn up not quite to their chest, but high enough to have their feet on the bed.

They looked like they did when they were younger. There were many nights spent like this before they got to the Yellowstone, and even after. Some nights they were planning their next steps, others Ryan was comforting Stella; letting her know everything was going to be alright and he would stop at nothing to keep her safe. Other nights they were just happy being.

Stella had her arms crossed against her lap. She let out a big breath as her eyes closed. Things in the house were quieter tonight. For that, she was thankful. She might be able to sneak in a nap before she headed home.

Ryan visibly watched Stella decompress. He was happy she still felt safe with him and the other guys. He always wanted to be her safe space. He nudged her shoulder lightly with his own.

“What, Ry?” Stella cracked open her eyes. He raised his eyebrows and nodded at her. She acknowledged him back with her own sleepy nod.

He leaned fully against the wall and slid close to her. He whispered. “You know you can talk to me about it, right?”

Stella’s head thudded back against the wall and she sighed. “Yeah, I know.” She started picking at the side of her nails. “I just don’t… know. What do you expect me to say?”

“I mean are you sad? Angry? Devastated? Hurt?” He suggested.

“I’m all of those things, Ryan. He wasn’t just my coworker, or my boss. He was a friend, too.” She thought about what Monica had said to her this morning. She placed her hands on her knees, bracing herself back against the wall. “There’s legitimately nothing I can do to change the fact that he’s gone. Hell, I wasn’t here when it happened. Even me being here wouldn’t have stopped anything.”

“It might have given you some closure though.”

Stella audibly groaned with annoyance. “That’s the thing. Even if I had closure,” she put air quotes around the word, “it still wouldn’t have stopped it from happening. You get what I’m saying?”

Ryan’s voice became stern. “I do, but you haven’t said anything to anyone about it. I don’t want you to internalize it, Stella.”

“I just, I don’t know what to say. I have no words. Yes, I’m sad. Yes, I’m experiencing the hole left behind. I’m going through the same shit y’all are. I just don’t want to talk about it.” Stella huffed and started to hop off the bunk.

Ryan grabbed her arm. Her head snapped back in his direction. “Ryan Stephen, let me go.” She ordered him with a low voice.

“Look, just come to me if you need to. Please?” He gave her his best version of puppy dog eyes.

Her tone softened. “Okay okay. I will if, if, I need to.”

He decided to go shower, leaving her to her own devices. Her gaze panned around the room. Jake and Ethan played the arcade game in the corner. Lloyd was at the table. Colby and Fred sat off to the side, and Jimmy was laid out on his top bunk. Stella could tell he was in a lot of pain from however long they had him on Tank. She felt for him.

Everything was business as usual. There was still a somber tone amongst the bunkhouse, but it wasn’t as heavy as it had been.

Lloyd called out to her. “Hey little bit.” She grinned at him and shuffled over.

“Yessir?”

“Care to keep an old cowboy company?”

“I would love to, my good sir.” She happily plopped down in the chair next to him. Ecstatic to be distracted from the thoughts brought on by the conversation with her brother. They started to play silent two man poker. They were just honing their skills, no real betting going on.

Ryan came out of the shower. He called out to the other guys. “Okay showers up.”

Stella looked up at the movement. She dramatically covered her eyes, as Ryan was only in a towel. “Oh my god, put your shirt on! My eyes!”

“Oh shut the fuck up, Stella!” Ryan threw the aforementioned shirt at her. She caught it and let out a cackle. She tossed it back to him. Stella started to respond to him, but Colby and Fred started to get loud with Jimmy.

“Would you two shit heads leave him be?” Stella rose from her seat. Lloyd put a hand on her arm gently to keep her in her spot. She and Fred never got along. She tolerated him a good portion of the time, but more often than not, she wanted to smack the shit out of him.

Ryan sighed, but walked closer to his sister. “Don’t start,” he whispered to her. As soon as she heard those words, she wanted to set fire to the whole place.

“And what are you gonna do princess?” Fred patronized her, adding fuel and striking the match.

“Princess?!” She snapped with lightning speed around Lloyd and leapt across the room. “I’ll show you princess you son of a bitch!” Ryan raced forward and grabbed her around the waist causing her to snap like a rubber band forward and back. Ryan heard the air leave her as she connected with his chest and started swinging.

“Fuck you Fred!” Stella shouted. Ryan wrestled her for the upper hand. Stella pushed and shoved at Ryan’s hands and arms. She pushed his head. She tried to step on his toes. Anything to get him to let her go. Colby tried to keep Fred back with the same amount of dedication. They didn’t want either of them to get their hands on the other.

“Stella!” He struggled against her pull. “Stella! Stop!” Ryan yelled at his little sister.

“No Ryan! Let her get her ass handed to her! Your bitch of a sister needs to be taken down a peg or two!” Fred screamed.

Stella pulled forward hard and heavy. Ryan’s hold on her slipped. She launched her body as fast and hard as she could at Fred. Fred wasn’t expecting her to make contact with her fist, but the crack of his jaw as it snapped shut was heard around the whole house. It was deathly silent as he staggered back.

“You dirty whore!” Fred screamed as he lunged at Stella. He grabbed for Stella’s neck, but Ryan stepped in his way. Ryan shoved his sister backward to Lloyd. He squared his jaw and stood to his full height.

His voice was deadly. “If you’re feelin’ froggy, Fred. Leap.” His eyebrows jumped upward as he said leap. “But the second you touch my sister?” He stepped closer to Fred to get in his face and make his point clear. “I will cut your fuckin’ head off and not feel any remorse.”

“I’ll help him feed you to the fuckin’ bears!” Stella screamed while she fought against Lloyd.

Lloyd hollered, wrestling Stella back. “Knock it the fuck off! All of you!” They all stopped and looked at him. It was rare that Lloyd would raise his voice.

He practically handed Stella to her brother. “Ryan take her outside.” He pointed to Fred. “You simmer down.”

Ryan dragged her back toward the door. She finally stopped fighting against it and went outside. She let out a snarl and kicked at the dirt. Her knuckles let her know they were angry from the hit. She shook her hand. ‘That’s gonna suck in the mornin.’

“You should have let me punch him in the throat. Give him something to choke on.”

“Listen, I know we all don’t like him, but you can’t be doing that.” Fred would have most likely beaten the absolute hell out of her. He had no control over his anger.

“He fuckin’ deserves it though.” She shouted.

They heard the gravel crunching off to the side. “Who deserves what?” John asked.

“Fred deserves to have his ass beat within an inch of his life.” Stella explained hotly.

Ryan scolded her. “Stella!”

She glared at her brother and fixed her glasses. She held her hands out to the side. “What? Fred is a bully and I’m just saying what we’ve all been thinking.” Ryan remained silent because he knew she was right.

John let them settle out then interrupted. “Stella, I actually came down here to ask if I could talk to you for a minute.”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“It’s about that mustang. Come to the barn with me so I can show you.”

“What did y’all do to him??” She rushed to the barn.

She got in there and hurried her way over to Tank. Both Tank and Abigail made happy noises at her approach. She pet the mare quickly, and moved to Tank to look him over.

John followed behind her at a slow pace. He took his time and observed her doing what she did best, what he paid her for, but also in general. He needed to decide if she was taking Lee’s place. It depended on how the next few minutes went.

He knew she was hot headed, exemplified by the previous conversation about Fred; but she was focused when she actually put her mind to whatever she was doing. Quiet, but could be boisterous with the right people. Smart and mean, a dangerous combination. Kayce wouldn’t have chosen to be her friend if there wasn’t some level of trust there. Lee wouldn’t have worked with her if he didn’t think she was trustworthy. He shut the small door behind him with a thud.

Stella stood and looked at the door and then to him with her brows crinkled. Her chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. The expression on John’s face was impassive. That bothered her. She hated that he was one of the few people she couldn’t figure out. Even Rip seemed to have more expressions than John did some days.

“He looks fine, sir. What did you need to show me about him?”

“I didn’t bring you in here to talk about the horse, Stella.” Dread ran through her.

“Oh?” She raised her eyebrows in question as she tried to keep her face flat. Her heart jumped wildly in her chest as she hoped he wasn’t about to interrogate her. Her mouth fell open to take in more air. She started to feel like the walls were closing in.

“Why were you at Kayce’s today?”

She leaned against the outside wall of the stalls. “I told you sir. I was talkin’ to him about Tank because not only has he become your responsibility, mood swings and all, he also became mine.”

“Is that so?” John leaned a shoulder against the wall.

She shrugged. “I mean, yeah. It’s part of my job. It’s what you pay me for. I also hadn’t seen him since —,” she cut herself off. She didn’t want to think about the loss more than she had to, but also didn’t want to put salt in John’s wounds either. “— well, you know. So I wanted to check up on him. Monica too.”

“When Jamie showed up this morning, where’d you run off to?” He grilled her.

“I got a text from Kayce that it was cool to stop by. So I went to my car to head out.” He stared at her in contemplation.

“I just find it very convenient that you ended up there after Jamie talked to me. Here. In the barn.”

“I mean, I left before you did?” Stella tilted her head confused and adjusted the frames on her face. “What did he talk to you about?”

“That doesn’t matter. What does matter, is why you feel so comfortable lying to my face.” Her mouth dropped open, opening and closing, but she couldn’t seem to find words. “That’s right. I saw you sneak around the broad side.”

Stella’s mind grasped for anything she could muster. There was absolutely nothing she could find.

He questioned. “What did you hear?”

“N-not much, sir.” She fought to get the words out.

“What did you hear, Stella?”

She swallowed hard, stood up straight, and came to her full height. She squared her shoulders, prepared for whatever storm was brewing. “I was originally gonna call Kayce. That’s why I stepped away, to find somewhere quiet. I chose to leave the barn at the point I did because it wasn’t my place to know what was being spoken about. I had heard more than I should have, and I didn’t want this to happen.” She motioned between them. “I was gonna leave and ignore it.”

She continued. Her voice got stronger as she went. “I don’t even know the context of what you were talking about. So I’m just as much in the dark now as I was before.”

“Damnit, Stella. Don’t make me ask you again.” John’s voice was harsh.

“Jesus, Mr. Dutton.” Calling him that was a habit that she hadn’t ever really broken out of. “I overheard you ask if they, whoever they are, had identified Kayce. For what? I don’t know. Then something about who the investigators were and something about Lee. That’s it. I promise. I don’t even really remember what I heard because I didn’t wanna hear it in the first place.” She slapped her hands down on her thighs in frustration.

It was deathly quiet in the space between them. Stella glared at him trying to catch her breath. The fact that she tried, and failed, to give Kayce a heads up about whatever his dad was bringing his way would stay with her until she was six feet under. She cocked her jaw to the side and ran her tongue along the side of her teeth. Being put on the spot by not only her best friend’s father, but also her boss, really killed her vibe.

John studied her closely. In the 12 years he had known her, she had never toed too far over the line. That was a feat in and of itself, especially being his youngest son’s best friend. There had been moments when she had needed some coaching to get back to the straight side of things. It was the normal rebellion of a teenager that John expected. Ryan and the wranglers had reined her in well during those times. John had expected that.

As she grew older, the fire inside her grew as well, but she put it to good use. She was a damn hard worker. She could put his men to shame most days. She also fiercely protected his son. His ranch. He respected that in her. She also wasn’t afraid to stand her ground. ‘Must come from dealing with all those stubborn horses.’ His thoughts broke in between. ‘Or dealing with your hard headed children.’

She had been around for a lot of things. She hadn’t ever mentioned anything about the affairs of the ranch to anyone that he was aware of. John didn’t know if she had actually picked up on the events that happened around her, but he wanted to give her intelligence more credit than that.

“Sir,” she fixed her glasses while she cleared her throat and continued, “I understand you’re worried about discretion here. I’m not gonna say anything to anyone. Why would I? Especially when I don’t know what it was about in the first place?” It didn’t make sense to Stella. Logically or otherwise. I mean to give Kayce a heads up that his father was on his way to spew some of his regular bullshit? Yeah, but she wouldn’t just go tell Joan at the local grocery market.

She had seen John angry at other people, but now his ire was directed at her, and her foundation felt shaken. She was reminded of when she stood up for Kayce when she was 18. That day and the following weeks were a doozie.

This job was her livelihood. Her brother’s. This place had become home. John kept quiet while she pleaded her case.

“That’s why I left and was gonna ignore it. I didn’t hear anything, I didn’t see anything.” Stella admitted. “I’ve never told anyone anything I may have ever caught. And if you think I would say something that would potentially jeopardize Kayce?” She shook her head. “You’re dead wrong.” Her voice hardened with the last sentence as she looked him directly in the eyes. She was banking that she had that working for her.

The fact that Rip trusted her, that Lee and Kayce trusted her, said a lot. Even though she had been around for so many years, for John, her lying to him made it a little harder to give his trust to her.

John’s lips pursed together. “You’re on thin ice, little girl. Tread carefully.” He left through the door behind him.

She sagged back against Abigail’s stall door. The mare walked up and stuck her head through the door and nuzzled at Stella’s back. Tank gazed at her from the side. They both knew she was stressed at this point. She had no idea where that left her in John's eyes. She didn’t know if she was fired, or kicked off the ranch, or anything.

After Stella had gotten herself calmed down some, she returned to the bunkhouse. She knew she couldn’t let herself go in front of Ryan, or Lloyd, shaken. They would immediately know something was wrong and grill her to the third degree.

“Hey, Ry?”

The man in question glanced up from the cards in front of him. “Yeah Stellee, what’s up?”

“I’m gonna head home for the night. I’ve gotta work more with Tank tomorrow, so I’ll see you then. Okay?”

He nodded and stood. “Yeah I’ll see you then, sis.” He wrapped her in a hug and she breathed for the first time since the barn. He rubbed her back quickly and released her. “You text me when you get home. And be careful.” He gave her a stern gaze. She faked a giggle and acknowledged him with a nod. She waved to Lloyd and made her exit swift. She had a lot to think about on her way home.

Comments, thoughts, commentary, and asks are welcome! Just please be gentle lol. 🤓

[cielcreations]

“You Were Really Nice.” (Backrooms AU)

This wasn't suppose to be how the game worked.

When everyone signed up, they knew the basic rules. Random world with a world border so they couldn't go too far, your damage is connected to one other person which makes you "soulmates", and you had three lives. Last team standing wins. They were suppose to have memories of everyone, just so they knew who was participating and who to look out for.

But that's not what happened.

***

The brunette's eyes shot open, "ETHO!" He panted, stepping back against the wall.

He groaned, his head pounding. Looking around, he noticed he was in a weird hotel looking room. He was surrounded on all sides by mundane yellow walls with one opening leading into a hallway, the fluorescent lights buzzing and creating some white noise. He had no idea where he was. Hell, he couldn't even remember how he got here! To be honest, he couldn't remember anything. He knew his name and... Etho.

Who was Etho?

Soulmate.

Right, that's right! Etho was his soulmate. He couldn't remember anything else though. He held his head in his hand, trying to remember more. How did he and Etho meet? How long were they together? How did he end up here? Was Etho even here?

"Okay, come on Joel, focus..." The brunette took a deep breath, "First things first, find Etho. Second, question everything." He stepped forward, the moist carpet squelching under him, making him cringe, "Okay, actually, second thing? Avoid that."

He walked into the hallway and turned the first right. He made it to the end but instead of being in a hallway with other hotel room doors or even just an office, he ended up in a weird large maze like room, with walls everywhere, leading into unknown places. He walked out into the open more, confused as he spun around slowly, admiring the strange place.

"What... the hell?" Joel questioned, "Just... what is this?"

He walked around, seeing random indents in the wall, as if someone had been here previously. He also saw black writing and random things like a ladder, a rope, a backpack, or a chair just laying around. He did take the rope and the backpack, opening it to see two chocolate bars and a water bottle.

"Well, better than no food and water."

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Joel stood up, throwing the backpack over his shoulder as he turned around. A dirty blonde turned the corner and began running towards him. He was about to say something but his eyes widened as he froze, watching as a large firey shadow like creature barreled after him. It screeched and began running.

"RUNNNNN!" The dirty blonde screamed.

Joel didn't need to be told twice. He stumbled a bit but turned around and ran as fast as he could, the adrenaline allowing him to go faster. He was shocked when the dirty blonde caught up to him grabbing his wrist. before he could say anything, the dirty blonde took a sharp turn, the two running towards a door. The dirty blonde kicked it open and ran in. It was a room full of large 4x4 holes in the floor.

The dirty blonde easily jumped down one. Joel turned around, saw the monster, cursed under his breath, and followed.

Joel cried out, "F-Fuck-!" He sat down, holding his ankle.

"Y-You okay?" The dirty blonde sat beside him.

"Nngh, yeah, think I just landed wrong..."

"Is it broken? Sprained?"

Joel hesitantly stood up. He took a few steps and shrugged, "Feel fine now. I think it was just the landing, really."

"M-Makes sense." The dirty blonde's lips turned up in a small smile, "Y-You get used to it."

The brunette went to ask what he meant but then he looked over the other. His hair was completely disheveled, a bit of dirt and blood staining it. He wore a white shirt with a light blue jacket over it and black jeans, missing his shoes and one of his white socks. All his clothes were torn, revealing cuts and bruises, the freshest cut on his cheek that still had a bit of blood trickling down as well as large bruised handprints on his neck.

"Woah... are... you okay?"

"B-Been here for awhile." The other shrugged, his blue eyes looking down, "Just be thankful you found me and not... some of the others."

"Others? There are others here?"

He showed his left arm, his jacket and shirt sleeve completely ripped off. On his shoulder was a rectangle symbol, carved into his arm, "C-Cult. Some sort of cult lives here. T-They call this place the 'Backrooms.' Tried to sacrifice me to one of those monsters."

"You mean to tell me there's multiple?!"

"From what I have seen? I-I know of four or five."

Joel groaned, "Oh god, how the hell..." He hugged his body a bit, "I need to find Etho..."

"Etho?"

"My soulmate..."

"Oh, you're separated from your soulmate too?" The other smiled, "Here, maybe we can help each other!"

The brunette smiled, "Yeah, sure. Oh, uh, my name is Joel."

"I go by Solidarity." The dirty blonde hummed, "Now, I know how to get out of this place. The rooms don't move but they might move us, so stay close."

Joel blinked and nodded, deciding not to question it. They walked together, grabbing some things they passed. Some random almost rotten fruits, granola bars, regular water, almond water, some more rope, rocks, just small things they could use. They managed to find a set of stairs and walked back to the original floor they stared on. Once they made it to the top and walked out into a more open room, they heard a gasp.

"JOEL!"

The brunette turned and gasped, "ETHO!"

The two men ran over to each other, hugging one another tightly. They sighed in relief, Etho pulling back and cupping his cheek with one hand, the other hand holding an axe, "Joel, are you okay?! Not hurt, right?!"

"Hurt my foot at one point, but I'm fine." Joel smiled, "What about you, Etho?"

"I'm fine, promise." He then looked behind the brunette, "Who's that?"

Joel turned, seeing Solidarity staring at them, "That's Solidarity. He's been helping me."

"You've been here for awhile?" Etho asked, walking over to offer his hand, "Nice to meet you, I'm Etho."

"...Solidarity..." The dirty blonde shook his hand, just staring.

"Is something wrong, Solidarity?" Joel asked.

"...A little hungry, but I'll be fine." The dirty blonde smiled, "It's good to reunite you two!"

Joel smiled, "Now we gotta find your soulmate!"

"Tango. His name is Tango." The dirty blonde blushed, "He really is super handsome, strong too..."

Etho began leading the way, holding his weapon in a protective manner, "You guys are really close then?"

"W-Well, of course! We're soulmates! We've been dating for awhile, before we ended up here..."

Joel hummed, "Were you guys together when, like, waking up in this place?"

"Yeah! We were! But then I went and turned a right and Tango watched my back. But remember how I said the Backrooms move people? I was teleported away. Got captured by that cult, almost died, and now I'm here. I just hope Tango's alri-" He groaned.

Joel and Etho turned, watching as the other hugged his stomach, falling to his knees.

"Solidarity!" Joel knelt beside him, "Are you okay?!"

"H-Hunnngryyyy..." The dirty blonde whined, panting.

"Here, I have chocolate bars and apples and-"

"T-Tango... hungry too...."

"What was-"

Before Etho could finish, Solidarity jumped and pinned him down, kicking the axe away. He wrapped his hands around Etho's throat and smirked, his eyes glowing red as he began choking him.

"I really am sorry, you guys were really nice." The dirty blonde cooed, smirking down at him, "But Tango and I are reeeeeally hungry~!"

"L-Let g-go-!" Etho choked out.

Solidarity cried out as Joel slammed the backpack into his side before kicking him off Etho. The platinum blonde sat up, both him and Joel holding their throats.

"I-I felt that..." Joel groaned, "W-When he was choking you..."

"Course you did." Solidarity sat up, smirking, eyes still glowing red, "Soulmates feel each other's pain. If one of you dies, you both die! Meaning Tango is gonna be reeeeally angry~! He is already protective of me, I wonder how he'll react when he realizes you hurt me~!"

Joel grabbed the axe Solidarity has kicked away and slammed it into the dirty blonde's arm.

Or, well, he tried to.

When the axe cut Solidarity's skin, a black shadowy hand grabbed Joel, stopping him from cutting the dirty blonde's arm off and threw him against the nearest wall, knocking the air out of both him and Etho. The two watched as Solidarity's shadow turned into a large monster. It was the same firey shadow creature Joel had seen "chasing" Solidarity when they first met. It had a crooked glowing smiled that never left it's face, glowing red eyes, his hair flowing like black flames and giving off black sparks. The thing was as tall as the room allowed it to be, its head practically scraping against the ceiling. It stood on its hands and feet, large claws dripping with blood, tail whipping back and forth, one wing spread out to protect Solidarity.

"W-What the hell is that...?" Etho muttered.

"Tango!" Solidarity stood up, smiling brightly and hugging its arm, "Oooh, such a perfect soulmate! Protecting me so well!"

The monster let out a purr and chirp.

"T-That's T-Tango?! Your s-soulmate?!" Joel yelled.

"Mhmmmm~!" Solidarity giggled, his eyes half lidded as his fingers danced around Tango's arms, blushing, "Isn't he amazing~?"

"Y-You're insane-"

Tango grabbed Etho's neck and pinned him against the wall beside Joel. He then grabbed Joel and also used his hand to pin him to the wall, choking both, making them feel double the pain.

Solidarity hugged Tango's side, smiling sadly, "I'm really sorry. You guys were really nice, but you just met the wrong people. Make it quick, Tango, love, they deserve that much."

Tango chirped. He easily broke both their necks and dropped the bodies, looking at his partner.

Solidarity sat down, leaning against the wall as Tango prepared their meal, "This should keep us fed for awhile."

Tango purred happily.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

Primetober Day 8: Highway to Hell, with all three extra prompts (Staring at Lava, Hyperthermia, and Standing on a Ledge)

Canon compliant. Tommy sits on the bridge in the Nether, consumed between jumping and being free and “betraying” his friend Dream until he gets heat stroke. Warnings for suicidal ideation, detailed thoughts of suicide, self harm, self hatred, referenced human experimentation, referenced drowning, and trauma bonding.

Sorry this took a while! I got my flu jab and that always makes me a wee bit sick after. Better than getting the flu, but it’s hard to write when you’re asleep most the day lol

ao3 link

—— It burnt so hot that Tommy felt dizzy.

He held his hand over the lava, using the pain to keep himself awake. It’d burn, but he could bandage it. Dream wouldn’t even know.

Wilbur had told him when he was younger about something called “the call of the void”. It was the feeling once you saw something dangerous when you just instantly thought about what would happen if you let it hurt you. Tommy must have had it now, impossibly drawn to the lava like a moth to the flame.

He had made his way down from the precarious bridges across the Nether down to the fleshy soulsand by the burning lakes; slowly enough he’d barely noticed it. His legs ached from hard falls and sparks burning holes into them, but he didn’t care. He was pulled in by the beautiful shining light of the lava, bubbling and warm. He wanted to dive into it, let it consume him, become one with it.

He’d have more use to the world that way.

It was such a short drop from the ledge to the lava. If he dangled his legs down off it, he’d have his feet inside of it, merging with the beautiful colours, finally letting himself rest as he fell into an eternal sleep. It was tempting. So, so very tempting.

But Dream would be pissed.

If that wasn’t the case, the answer would be easy. He’d let himself be consumed by the flowing heat, let himself rest and finally die. But that was the thing- he wasn’t allowed to die. Not until Dream let him, and Dream was too nice for his own good. He still wanted Tommy around, even though he was an obnoxious leech and a waste of life.

And if anyone could punish Tommy beyond the grave, it’d be Dream.

Not that he was just afraid of punishment. Dream was his best friend- his only friend, really. Everyone else just saw him as a zoo exhibit, like, “oh, look at the sad child, how funny.” And yeah, Dream was a bitch a lot of the time, but that’s because he cared. Everyone else just saw him like an annoying thing to tolerate and didn’t go through the laborious task of helping him become more than that. Dream was special, truly an anomaly, because he was the only person in the whole wide world who had any real kindness.

It was still hard to believe that Tubbo’s friendship wasn’t real, but Dream said so, and it was always easier to believe him. Besides, his own senses were fucked. Tommy didn’t know up from down- Dream was his owner, practically his God. It felt so much easier to just listen.

It was what he was designed for, after all.

Well, it’s not like anyone at the labs he was grown in- literally grown in a vat, it was pretty cool outside of the whole being experimented on since before he could even form memories thing- bothered to tell him shit. He spent most of his childhood locked in a cage he couldn’t even stand up in, and the rest was far too horrific to even mention. But he was smart, even if they didn’t teach him shit, and he still struggled to read sometimes. Why else would they create an angel?

That’s what he was- a divine servant with no master, a tool with no purpose. His existence was meaningless, and he felt empty a lot of the time. It was like there was something missing in him, a comforting tug in the direction of someone else’s ideals, one he had to fill by himself.

When Wilbur was alive, it was easy. He’d just do everything his big brother said, no questions asked. Fight in a war, give up his life for his country, listen to his broken ramblings as the days in Pogtopia made him incoherent at times, believing things that made no sense, seeing the world like some sort of movie. Now, with only a forgetful ghost who left long ago and a country he was exiled from to remember his brother by, he only had Dream to look for guidance on what to do, who to be, what reality even was.

Or he had the lava. That seemed less painful. Tommy had heard drowning was peaceful, but his own experiences waking up on the cold shores of Logstedshire proved that to be a fucking lie. Maybe burning to death being painful was a lie, too, and he could go gently. Even if it wasn’t, it’d certainly be less painful than being such a fuck up that he earnt a new scar every day just to serve as a reminder. He always felt so guilty for being such a Primes be damned burden for Dream.

Maybe he’d be happier if he just… took a little dip.

He felt lightheaded, so close to the warmth bubbling just a little beneath him. The skin on the palm of his hand bubbled and burnt, but he was far too intoxicated to care, looking into its ever-shifting depths. It drew him into a fuzzy trance, left his eyes feeling so heavy. His skin was sodden with sweat, and his limbs felt so heavy.

It made it so hard to choose. Would Dream be happier if he was gone? He always said he wouldn’t, but what good did Tommy do with him here? Would he be happier? Or was Tommy being selfish, putting his own desire to die over his owner's desires? He was always too selfish, too annoying, too Tommy. It’d be the ultimate betrayal if he let himself rest, not giving a shit about those better than him.

His head swum as the thoughts muddled and blurred in his mind. He felt so dizzy he barely knew which way was towards the lava and away from it, so he sat still, staring into the shifting colours, eyes wide. He swore he could see pictures in the colours, scenes calling to him. Was the lava itself calling for him? He didn’t know. Nothing made sense. He just felt so hot and dizzy.

He got up, unsure if he was heading away from the burning temptation of a final rest or if he was avoiding his responsibilities and pulling himself into the abyss, but he couldn’t stand for long, falling back to the ground. He couldn’t feel any pain, just a sickening heat and a confusing, feverish confusion reclaiming his mind. Where even was he? Who even was he?

He didn’t even feel like he knew anymore. All he knew was the heat consuming him, the sweat running down his brow, the push and pull dragging him in two directions. He couldn’t even remember which directions they were anymore.

The last thing he heard before he fell unconscious, delirious and sick from heat stroke, was a name shouted, a concerned voice. He didn’t even know if it was his own. Something about it felt comforting, familiar, and he smiled softly as unconsciousness took him.

[ramonadecember]

Theo

- Fir 5

- Holly 2, 4

- Ivy 2 , 4

- Mistletoe 1 , 5

- Pine 2

- Birch 1, 4

oc asks.

Theo... traumatized beloved... first of my cowbabies.

--

Fir 5: Resilience is Theo’s middle name. When he gets knocked down, he gets up and keeps going, even if it’s with gritted teeth and blood on his face. So it takes more than ‘setbacks’ to get him to give up on something. But that doesn’t exactly apply to people the same way it does situations. If someone Theo cares about lets him down/hurts him/betrays him etc. it takes a long time to get back to where they were before that.

Holly 2: Theo doesn’t necessarily have lucky charms exactly, but he does have some trinkets/items he always has on/near him. So more like… mementos he is very attached to, and whatever ‘power’ comes with that attachment, haha. Namely, there’s the compass his twin Tess gave him when he first set out on his own under… weird terms with his family. The message ’so you can always find your way back’ engraved inside. And then after he thinks Jed died, Theo takes to wearing one of his bandanas all the time too. Stuff like that.

Holly 4: If luck is a thing, Theo think he missed the boat on it entirely. Some people seem to have all of it, some seem to have none, and he feels like the latter category. But he knows luck has to exist to some extent, because he can’t imagine how Jed is still alive without it lmao. Theo always thought Jed himself was another manifestation of his bad luck too, but has since learned that the complete opposite is the case. Couldn’t ask for a better good luck charm. Couldn’t have asked for more luck in finding a partner (in both senses lmao).

Ivy 2: It can be hard to gain Theo’s loyalty, but once you do, he’s one of the loyalist dogs around. To get his loyalty, you’ve gotta get his trust, which means treating Theo like a scared, cornered animal. Gotta do whatever the human version of letting him sniff your hand and offering him treats is lmao, and slowly his trust, and therefore loyalty is gained. And then Theo will follow you to the ends of the earth. Just gotta prove you’re a good soul and not out to fuck people—or Theo—over.

Ivy 4: Theo has a complicated relationship with where he comes from. Overall… he loves it. Maybe not everyone can see the beauty in the swamps, but Theo loves it. But it’s also full of a lot of god-fearing folks, which can lead to issues. And then there’s the problems with his home home. Theo loves his mom, he loves his sisters, but their relationship has been strained since everything with his father happened. Between that, and the memories the place holds, it can be painful being back there. But he’ll throw hands with anyone who tries to shame him for where he came from or think less of him because of it. That’s his shit hole and only he gets to talk bad about it, ha.

Mistletoe 1: His first friend was a boy from the area. Neighbors ish, or whatever. They did their schooling together (what little they got), they stomped around the creek together, they did just about everything together. Wasn’t really a surprising thing, it made sense. But it got weird when they got in a fight in their preteens because his friend was starting to get into girls and Theo was unable to recognize that he was pissed (jealous) about it was because he had feelings for his buddy (slash other guys in general).

Mistletoe 5: Theo’s most unlikely friend is probably Jed? From the moment Jed stumbled into Theo’s life and ruined the bounty he was working, he annoyed the hell out of Theo Lmao. Only ever cause trouble, made everything more difficult. Theo was constantly try to shake Jed loose, but Jed dug his hooks in. He started to grow on Theo when Theo realized he wasn’t just some naive idiot, and that he was a sweet, compassionate man who just wanted to see the best in people (and okay yeah, admittedly Theo did like looking at him… one perk to keeping him around). Now they’re inseparable (the separation anxiety is real lmao).

Pine 2: It’s a toss up between two events for what has had the biggest emotional scar on him, with the difference being one he is continually healing from, and the other, he thought he’d never recover from. The former is when he killed his own father (and I guess all the wounds figurative and literal that led up to it), but though it’s take some time, Theo is slowly healing and moving on from that. That latter is when he thought Jed was dead, and that hurt more than any actual injury ever did. When it turned out Jed was not, in fact, dead, it took quite a while to get past it and to rebuild the trust that they had leading up to then, and to date, Theo still sometimes struggles with worrying Jed will slip away from him again.

Birch 1: This answer is actually very similar to the above answer. The moments that have fundamentally changed Theo come from his father and from Jed. If it wasn’t killing his father that changed Theo, it was when his father held him down and cut his face open. A lot of Theo’s light had been dimmed before that moment, but that’s what really solidified the change. And then on the other hand you have Jed, who swept into his life and started rewiring Theo all over again. Tess even thanks Jed at one point for giving her her brother back…

Birch 4: Does like… being surprisingly well adjusted despite his upbringing and circumstances and ultimately leading a happy life and being in a healthy, loving relationship count as a heroic or unexpected comeback? Haha. Because he very easily could have kept leading his life as a pissed off recluse, not letting any one in, not having real contact with his family, being pretty miserable, but he let in new opportunities and love and worked on himself and is so much better for it.

[choptop-sawyer]

Letters to Bobby: Introduction

Chop Top Sawyer/Reader

16 years. 16 years since you've last seen Bobby. 16 years of fame as the musician he always said you could be. 16 years of emptiness, a hole deep inside that you've never found a way to heal. You have to go back. You have to find Bobby, the friend of your youth and the love that haunts you. But going back isn't simple. Not everything is as it was when you left, especially Bobby himself.

After all, 16 years is a long time.

[An Excerpt from a Magazine]

███ on Love, Music, and the Past.

July 18th, 1985

When one walks into ███’s L.A. penthouse, it’s hard not to be shocked into quiet awe. After all, ███ hasn’t agreed to an interview in over five years since their retreat from the music industry. It’s walking into the lair of a reclusive genius, a once in a lifetime event. In the dimly lit but large living room, they sit, reclined like a monarch in a large, neon purple armchair. The wall at their back is covered with records, dating from all decades, and encompassing, to the cursory glance, an impressive number of genres. I’m here with them tonight to catch up on what they’ve been up to since the beginning of their hiatus and perhaps learn a little bit more about the musical legend.

Interviewer: So, ███, you created quite a stir when you released your first album, Letters to Bobby in 73’. You had your fair share of fans, and your fair share of critics. Did you ever expect to be as successful as you were with it?

███: Letters was a passion project, so I didn’t expect much of it. God, 73’ seems like it was forever ago. But yeah, I didn’t think anybody would really like it. I was just a bitch from some nowhere town in Texas. The biggest thing anybody had going for them back in Newt was that one of the Hansen boys went to college and became a lawyer of some kind. And there I was, young, angry, been in L.A. for a few years and feeling homesick as all hell and writing songs. I thought that maybe, people wouldn’t like to hear homesick, especially from a nobody. But what did I know? Everyone liked it. Most I was expecting was to say, “I made an album” and run back to Newt one day with my dreams put out in an ashtray, like anybody who comes here with a guitar and a big head.

Interviewer: Newt was your childhood home, correct? Do you have any good memories of it? How did your childhood reflect in your songs on the album?

███: Aw fuck no, Newt was hell’s asshole. See here, you had a gas station, a graveyard, and a few shops in town. And it was hot. I hear all these Californians whining about the heat here, but it had nothing on Newt. It was the kind of heat that could make a guy up and kill his whole family. Bam! Shot in their beds. That’s how hot it was. And everyone knew each other too. Good in some ways, bad in another. It just made the whole world seem so small.

Interviewer: That’s quite a vivid image. A bit morbid. Would you say that this rugged outlook on life made you stand out when you first became seen as a promising up and coming musician?

███: Oh, didn’t realize that was morbid. I’d blame it on the people I hung with when I was a kid. They were good people, but they didn’t have much at all, especially when all the jobs dried up. I guess when you’re that close to not knowing about what’s gonna happen to you all the time, you get a bit in touch with death. And yeah, I was a bit unusual. I had a big mouth, and I wasn’t exactly “sophisticated” if you know what I mean. I guess I never will be, but that’s okay with me. I definitely stood out.

Interviewer: Was the “Bobby” that the album was a letter to one of the people you spent time with as a kid? You had always given a different explanation as to who he was in previous interviews.

███: [laughs] Oh! Yeah! That was just a joke on my part. I don’t know, I’d tell those reporters whatever I think they’d might like to hear. Told one he was my brother. Told another that he was my dog, and they wrote that down, I kid you not. But no, I won’t yank your leg now. He was one of those people I hung with. I was in love with him. He loved me too. Always told me I could make it as a star. I always said “Aw, what the hell do you know, Bobby?” but I guess he was right. But we were kids. I still was when I moved away. May have been twenty and thought myself so mature but looking back I was stupid to think that.

Interviewer: So, Letters to Bobby was inspired by your childhood sweetheart? That’s so touching. Do you know where Bobby is now?

███: I don’t. It’s a common story, really. He got drafted to go fight in Vietnam. He couldn’t even find Vietnam on a map [laughs]. We were so scared when we got the news, especially him. He’d never been out of Texas. He told me he’d keep in touch after he got shipped off, but that didn’t happen. He hated writing letters. I asked his brothers about him a few times after he left, but they couldn’t say much either. I don’t think they liked me around that much. [They pause and close their eyes]. Reminded them too much of him, I guess.

Interviewer: That’s a shame. Have all your songs been about Bobby?

███: Not all of them, but a lot of them. He loved music. Said it was his life, besides me. So, I guess me doing music ended up being about him a lot of the times, whether I intended it or not. Things just happen like that.

Interviewer: Let's get to the question everybody's asking. You stopped releasing new songs and stopped doing interviews about five years ago. What happened?

███: You know, it’s a funny thing. I’ve realized I’ve done almost nothing with my life, not really. The happiest times of my life have been in Bobby’s truck bed. Sure, there have been some brief moments of joy, like when I first heard someone come up and tell me they loved Letters, but not really anything lasting. Nothing is permanent here. In Newt, nothing changes. Here, it changes all the time. [They slump back in their chair.] I decided I didn’t much like that rock and roll lifestyle. I just stopped talking to anyone. I’ve just been here, collecting my records and collecting dust. Don’t think anybody cares anyways, there’s always some bright new thing to take my place.

Interviewer: I get you…

███: No, you don’t. I’m tired. I’m so tired. It’s always, “███, when are you gonna drop a new album? ███, when are you gonna come out and party again? ███, why don’t you take a massive fucking shit from two thousand fucking feet in the air so we can take a picture of it and sell it to all the goddamn tabloids?” I shouldn’t mind, I should love it. But can’t I just try to find a way to be happy again?

Interviewer: Ah. I’m sorry you feel that way. So. I’m assuming this means you’ve had no new songs in the works?

███: Nope. None. I’ve been run dry. I have my money; I have my fame. I think we’re done here... sorry. I'm sorry. Don't know what came over me.

Interviewer: Alright. Any last words?

███: I miss you, Bobby. I miss you more than I could ever write into a song.

[End Excerpt].

[vanosslirious]

BBS Dialogue Prompts #203

BBS Dialogue Prompts & Sentence Starter: [ 10 ]

SMII7Y

It depends, what are you into?

That's the only reason why I'm fucking here!

Why are you so into that?

What God did you pray to to win that?

There's no way I'm this unlucky, bro.

I better fucking make this.

That's probably a good idea, I should do that too.

They're just pumping out bullshit now.

He was so ready for that.

Let's just clarify what you meant by this sentence right here.

Hey, it's the guy you shot in the head.

Dude, they're going to report me.

Oh, that's kind of fucked up now that I think about it.

You're literally Santa Claus, what are you doing?

Everyone chill...that's the opposite of chill!

You will pay for your treachery.

It says I can place it, but it’s probably going to break.

Alright, boys, it’s on.

I can’t move, I literally can’t move.

I’m actually really glad I wasn’t around to see the actual context of that cause it sounds great.

H2ODELIRIOUS

Beat their ass!

I think we gotta hit him three times.

Hold my hand, damnit.

Wait, they're coming in strong.

Shoot them one by one.

Did I help you guys?

Is this your damn sister, what the hell?

Where the hell are you trying to run too?

Will you open your damn door?

Are you following me?

TERRORISER

Don’t worry guys, I got a flare!

Yes, she got rid of my joke, goddamnit.

Speak up.

Why was I ripped out of the server?

I just want to shoot one of them just to see your reaction.

Let’s get out there, guys.

I was stuck down a hole.

Great, I got nothing.

I’m going to fucking kill you.

Someone find food.

NOGLA

There’s no way you played it without me seeing it.

I have an infected wisdom tooth, and I just chewed a candy on it.

Just give me the card, man, please.

How did he know about the other stuff?

Alright, boys, sorry to let you down.

I feel stared at.

Ah, come on, guys, that was not impressive.

It's so weird seeing you like this.

How are you breathing?

No, I have to order my fries.

FL0M

Fuck, I'm pinned down!

I did, I didn’t see anything!

I lost to some fucking peppers.

It looks like I'm about to puke!

You know, I actually don't think that is true.

I don't know what they do, man!

What the fuck, who is this?

Low energy, I should eat something.

Let me go ask them how they're doing, hey guys.

Dude, I'm almost dead, oh shit!

JERICHO

This one’s for you, man.

Did he kill you too?

He went up straight and executed your ass.

What happened there, that's weird.

Wait, I got an idea.

You literally ran into me.

Oh, this looks promising to me.

Oh my god, you painted the wall.

What the hell, are you guys bringing him to me?

That’s crazy, what could have possibly gone down?

ELILIKESRICE

What the fuck, ya’ll got goldfish memory?

Enemy in the room.

You’re saying I shot the wrong person?

You guys have cool names.

Enemy right here, that's not one of us.

Oh, ya'll hear something, ya'll hear a ghost?

He played dead.

I wish you told me…

You don't have to do that.

I never actually seen anyone just go around picking up bullets.

GRIZZY

The fucking controls are not working!

Yeah, I’ll be back soon.

You broke ass bitch.

You literally had nothing!

Give it to me…for the love of God!

Fuck it, I'm taking my chances…I regret everything.

I don't agree with this!

If they're so boring, tell us.

Guys, I’m thinking red, thoughts?

Now, what kind of fuckery is this?

VANOSSGAMING

There is no time for fucking secrets.

You don’t know which one I was excluding, maybe I was excluding myself, you don’t know.

I’m fine dying here in the front yard.

I’m taking the grave on the right.

Fuck it, I’m taking this grave, rest in piece, boys.

Say please!

Are you fucking kidding me.

Which way is it?

Fuck off, ghost!

Use the force.

KRYOZ

Maybe we should go kill him…knock-knock.

Get the headlight.

I don’t know, I’m loading, it still takes awhile to do that.

Wait, how much money do you have?

I sold a painting to some dumb bitch!

Dude, we’re about to get scammed.

Go to a different wall you dumb little skanky slut.

What makes him dirty?

Yeah, it’s like a flash bang.

I’ve been seeing spots ever since.

[annie-sae]

Wouldn’t mind

Pairing: Kazutora x fem!reader, past Baji x fem!reader

Hurt/comfort

Author note: This is my way of dealing with Baji’s death finally being animated, this is me comforting myself so I don’t keep crying.

Also, I posted this on AO3 as well:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33561445

Part of the reason you decided to get close to him was kind of the same reason why you decided to help out Chifuyu and the remaining founding Toman members in any way you could; even if that meant putting yourself in various fights. It was a way to honor his memory.

You met Baji Keisuke; your Kei; as nothing more than a child because you were neighbors and your mom happened to be friends with his mother which ended in them arranging lots of playdates for you both ever since you could remember.

Your mothers always said you were meant to be and they were right, so yeah, they were delighted once you two finally stopped denying yourselves and started to date.

You two got together after one time in which Baji got into a particularly bad fight and you found him on your way home; his hands all bruised but despite how much they must have been hurting he was smiling in that unique way of his that always told you that no matter the pain he won and enjoyed himself.

To be honest you didn’t like that he always got into fights nor how reckless he could be but you had to admit that there was always something about the way his eyes glinted that drew you in.

You dragged him inside your home, knowing that his mother would flip out if she saw him and taking advantage of the fact that your mother was to get home late, you pushed him to the couch, went to the kitchen for a bag of frozen vegetables, grabbed his hand after cleaning the blood off and held the bag to his knuckles hoping that it would bring down the swelling.

There was no way of knowing who made the first move but next thing you knew after that was that you two were kissing; the frozen bag laying on the floor long forgotten. After that you finally acknowledged your feelings and started dating. There was no grand gesture, it was just one of many moments that you shared daily yet it was perfect.

Baji liked to keep you away from Toman businesses so for the most part you didn’t actually know the rest of the members except for Chifuyu; whom you met on various occasions while going to visit your boyfriend; and Mikey that you met as a child since you were always following around Baji and in a way became your friend too; but that was it. He kept that apart from the side of his life that involved you because he was well aware of how messy it could get and he didn’t want to drag you into any trouble.

Yet his gang life caught up to him, crashing into your world and pushing you into a lonely abyss that still to this day left a hole in your chest.

You’d always remember that dreaded day when your mother came home later than usual without letting you know anything, eyes teary and red rimmed. The moment she looked at you, she pulled you into a strong hug and sobbed as she caressed your hair murmuring a string of words you couldn’t really make out.

She was the one to deliver the news of his passing, how she was late because she was at the Baji household and had to accompany his mother to claim her son’s body after the woman received a call from the police station telling her that the boy had been stabbed and bled to death.

The day would never come when you’d forget the pain that shot through your body as you learned that he was gone. It hurt unlike anything else you have ever experienced, as if someone was crushing your chest like it was made out of paper, air knocked out of your lungs and the only thing you could do was scream helplessly his name as you held for dear life onto your mother’s frame. You felt bile rise up your throat so fast that it was a miracle that you didn’t throw up.

His funeral wasn’t any easier. Not when you arrived and his mom pulled you to his casket saying just how handsome he looked, inviting you to see him in a way that you couldn’t refuse.

Around an hour after yourself, arrived Chifuyu who went to you after giving his condolences to his best friend’s mother that held him the way she used to hold her boy but now she’d never get the chance to do anymore.

If you were being completely honest, you couldn’t remember much more of that day, your mind was hazy, too many gaps in the memory of all that transpired.

Only two things were clear as day in your mind. First was the way that Kei had looked inside that coffin smiling peacefully and for a moment you almost fooled yourself into thinking that he was just sleeping, but he was pale, his canines weren’t showing and his eyes were slightly sunken but you had to agree with his mom because he looked handsome indeed. The second was that Chifuyu stayed by your side throughout the whole thing, in fact he was the one who told you what actually happened and you were thankful for it all.

He told you what Baji did and why he did it and you believed it the second the words left his mouth because you knew him well and if there was anything that defined your beloved boyfriend was his heart, how willing he was to give anything for those that he cared about; his unwavering loyalty; you just wished he hadn’t put himself on the line for that.

Twelve years have passed and a lot of things changed since his parting, for starters you became a member of Toman.

One night; around a month after everything happened; you went to the Musashi temple fully aware that it was the place that the boys used as their base and in front of everyone gathered there; bracing yourself; you walked towards Mikey, bowed deeply and begged for him to accept you as a member.

At first most of the guys there laughed at you while others frowned and called you names shooing you away but you stayed still, that was until a big hand grabbed you by the arm and that was when you pulled away from it and punched the guy square in the nose remembering the time Baji taught you how to pack a punch. The guy tried to send a blow towards you but was stopped by Chifuyu yet the whole commotion came to a halt with Mikey’s commanding voice.

“Y/N, you know this is a guys-only gang”

“I’m aware, Mikey, but” you clenched your fists “but Keisuke cared about this gang so I feel like I must join, to protect everything he fought for” you raised your head “he also taught me how to fight so you don’t have to worry about me being a burden on you and I know a few things about first aid, I can carry my own weight” you were thankful for your mother being a nurse and having taught you a bit.

He stared at you, his eyes giving away nothing.

“The first division can take her in” Chifuyu supplied.

Mikey raised a brow and looked at another blonde guy.

“Takemitchy, you are the first division’s captain, do you agree to take her?” the guy straightened up and after sharing one look with Chifuyu he nodded.

An uproar started as a lot of guys started to complain about how bad of an idea it was to admit a girl in the gang but Draken stopped them with one word.

Mikey looked at you once more, then he sighed and nodded.

“Then welcome, Y/N L/N, from now on you are a member of the Tokyo Manji Gang under the first division”.

Later that day you gave your thanks to Chifuyu and Takemichi, for getting behind you and promised to help them in any way possible but Chifuyu made you promise to be safe and only join them as a last resource because he couldn’t allow Baji’s girlfriend to get hurt since he promised him he’d take care of you.

You knew that your parents wouldn’t be happy with you being a part of a gang but you had to do it, it was a way to stay close to Kei and you needed that or else you would have gone crazy, you were also thankful because life had it that you were assigned to the division that used to be his.

Shit happened but you always took things head on and you had to admit that Chifuyu and Takemichi played a crucial part in you surviving all the crappy things that happened until the gang disbanded. While still a member you were extremely grateful for makeup since it helped you hide from your parents a good amount of nasty bruises that came from the fights.

The second thing that changed was that you moved out of your parents’ house from the moment you started college and although at first it was hard and you were living in a tiny apartment that resembled more to a matchbox yet it was the only thing you could afford at the moment with the part time job you had but you were decided to not return home, not because you weren’t comfortable with them but because they were already doing too much for you by paying for your studies so you didn’t want them to be spending any more money on you.

You managed and after a while you got a better job that meant a higher pay grade and you moved out of your tiny place to your current one that was bigger and just a couple of minutes away from the cemetery where the Baji family grave was.

Even when you had exams due the next day, even when you were way too busy, you still made it a habit to go visit him daily, it didn’t matter if you had to walk for long or that you were so tired you could have fallen asleep while standing, you still went to see him.

Your mother told you once that maybe you should let go, that he wouldn’t like to have you clinging to him this much and to appease her you went to a couple of dates once every three months but you never made it past the first date but funnily enough that landed you a few long lasting friendships with some of the guys you tried to date.

One time his mom talked to you and told you just how grateful she was with you for loving her son the way you did but that you didn’t owe him anything, that you could move on because she was sure that was what he would have wanted and maybe she was right; to hell you knew that she was; but it wasn’t a matter of you feeling like you owed devotion to him but more like no one ever compared to him, not a single person awoke in you the same feelings he did, not with the same intensity it was kind of like a beautiful curse because you grieved daily his absence but you wouldn’t want it other way, even if you went back and told yourself that by loving him you’d end up in pain, you’d still go through it all because the time spent with him was worth it and you told her that so she smiled and even talked with your mother making her stop begging you to date and leave you to your own devices.

Another thing that changed was you because you cut your hair really short; yet without needing it you still wore a hair tie on your wrist daily as if it was some sort of amulet because it reminded you of him.

Also, with the bigger place you adopted three beautiful cats that you loved dearly, first there was Blue; whose black hair shone blue under certain light hence his name; then there was Leo; an orange tabby cat you found one day and adopted instantly; and Jin; a maine coon that was your appointed guardian and didn’t like anyone around you nor him.

The three always slept with you; which made you thankful for getting a big bed when you first moved; and in a way they made your life less lonely because in their presence you felt as if Keisuke was right there with you which made sense because you two had made plans about living together once highschool was over and then adopt a ton of cats, all the cats your parents never allowed in the house when you were younger.

Of course things don’t always end up the way we plan them, you knew that better than most although to be completely honest you never expected Kazutora to come into the picture.

You new who he was, on one occasion Kei told you that him speaking on his behalf and taking the full blame for what happened with Mikey’s older brother was a big factor on him staying out of juvie so in a way you were thankful to him but you also knew; through Chifuyu’s retelling; what happened on that horrible halloween when you lost your whole world.

Even when you knew that everything had been planned out by Kisaki, for the longest time you were resentful towards Kazutora, even going as far as to curse his sole existence because hadn’t it been for him then your Keisuke would surely still be with you. It took you years for you to come to terms with everything and accept that Baji chose to leave all because he cared about that boy way too much.

You came to realize that by hating Kazutora, by wishing him the worst and spending so much energy in resenting him you were betraying Kei’s wishes.

His final will was to keep Toman’s funding members; Kazutora included; safe, he chose death, going down as a villain to his friends, all just to protect them, to save him so the least you could do was carry on his wishes and look after them, not only after Chifuyu and the others but you also felt the moral obligation towards Keisuke, to welcome Kazutora and help him back into his life.

Now, you went to help around Chifuyu and Kazutora’s shop, fully aware that it was their way of honoring his memory, by living out the dream he never had the chance for.

You could understand them because everyday you did the same, hell, you even went to study veterinary because that had been the plan all those years back; he was supposed to open his pet shop and you were supposed to be the one to tend to the animals, he always said that you had the best shot because you usually did rather good at school.

You met Kazutora the day after Chifuyu picked him up from prison. You already knew that he would be joining you two for lunch the following day because he told you in advance in case you weren’t ready to meet the man that had played a big part in your old boyfriend’s death.

Chifuyu by that point had become your best friend in the world, your constant support. What started as a way to cope with Baji’s loss, as both of you searching in the other for any vestiges of his existence with the passing of the years turned into something more, a fraternal bond forged through shared grief.

Chifuyu was like a brother to you and you knew that he saw you as a sister, you cared about him deeply.

If you were being completely honest, you were a bit torn when a month prior to the release, he announced to you that he’d be picking up the guy and was planning on welcoming him as a roommate and as an extra hand at the shop; that is if the other accepted. I mean, you’d have to be crazy to just accept it as it was, no questions asked because whether manipulated and messed up in the head, it didn’t change the fact that he was the one to stab him.

Of course you knew it hadn’t been easy for him to reach that, it was obvious that he had thought it through, you could see in his eyes just how much went into making that decision but that he was sure that that was Baji would have liked and you knew that as well because that was the type of person Keisuke used to be, a bit rough on the edges but so caring and willing to give for those he loved, and he sure as hell had proven how much he cared about the guy.

You had never talked to him, what little you knew about him was what Baji had mentioned all those years back when he almost went to prison and what Chifuyu told you, how he was getting the help he needed and seemed to be making progress but that was it.

To say it was awkward at first was a big understatement. He was extremely quiet and even after you greeted him he refused to make eye contact while you kept fidgeting in place trying to come up with something to say. Thank god for Chifuyu since he was the one to introduce you although he could have been a bit more careful when he introduced you as Baji’s old girlfriend, although you couldn’t blame him because there was no way around it, that was what you were.

The moment he understood who you were he froze, eyes focusing on his hands under the table. You noticed how uneasy he became and with a look you asked Chifuyu to give you a minute, thankfully he understood and trusting you excused himself from the table.

You reached out, stilling your hand in the middle of the space between you when you saw him flinch, something that reminded you of the time when you encountered Leo for the first time; hurt and scared. Kazutora in a way resembled him, something lonely and broken about him that gave you the final push to get close.

Just like you did way back for Leo you extended your open hand towards him, facing upwards to show him that you had no ill intentions and you rested your hand on the table just a few centimeters away from his arm, not wanting to startle him but wanting to show him that you were trying to get close.

“I don’t hate you, Hanemiya-kun”

His gaze zeroed on your hand and then eyes of the color of the lightest brown you’ve ever seen; almost the same shade as amber; met yours wary and trembling but you simply nodded confirming that you were being completely honest.

“Why?” his voice came out broken.

“Because Keisuke cared about you” you smiled, feeling your eyes get watery and Kazutora’s face became blurry due to the tears.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I- I wish I could take it all back, I really do, I...” you heard the words come out cracked and you shook your head and reached for his arm.

“I know...it’s fine. Like I said, I don’t hate you, it’s been a while since that happened and I’ve made up my mind, I’ve already accepted it as part of life” that’s a lie and you know, you miss him every day so much that you still cling to the little things he left behind, that’s the reason why you haven’t been in a relationship after him.

You quickly wiped the tears out of your eyes and looked at him once more. “I’d like to be there for you, maybe be friends even, that is if you’d like that”

Kazutora’s mind was running laps. Was he hearing you correctly? Did you actually say that you wanted to be friends with him? Be friends with the guy that killed your boyfriend nonetheless. He couldn’t wrap his head around that thought, it was simply impossible, he was a villain, a rotten fruit that nobody had ever liked and that poisoned the only good things he had in his life, why would anyone want to be near him?

First there was Chifuyu; who for all he could gather used to consider Baji as his best friend; welcoming him into his apartment, offering him a place to stay and even a job no questions asked, that was already hard to understand, but now having you willing to welcome him? That was almost ridiculous because you surely knew, he saw the way you interacted with Chifuyu, there was no way in hell he didn’t tell you, so why?

Why were you being kind to him? So gentle? Why couldn’t you just scream and curse him? Heaven knows for how long he has been cursing himself, regretting everything he did, from Shinichiro to Baji. He deserved to be yelled at, to be shunned away from society, he was deserving of pain and should be tossed to the abyss of loneliness, forever in the dark, far away from the sun.

He couldn’t fathom why on God's name was Baji’s girlfriend in front of him extending her delicate hand towards him. But even when he couldn’t understand he wanted to accept it. He knew he deserved nothing given how he had taken two lives but he wanted the embrace so badly.

He wanted company, friends, he didn’t want to be forever an outcast due to his bad decisions but instead he wanted to belong, to feel some sort of comfort, he wanted to bask in the sun’s warmth and for once in a very long time feel a bit of peace, he wanted saving, someone to tell him he was worthy even when he knew he wasn’t.

He looked at you once more, and something felt warm inside his chest; even his throat tightening; when he saw that you were still smiling gently at him despite the rebel tears that had escaped from your eyes.

“I’d like that” he smiled wobbly. “Also, Kazutora is fine”

“Then let’s be friends, Kazutora-kun” your smile grew broader and that was the start.

Surprisingly after that, it didn’t take long for you to grow comfortable with each other. He was quiet and would often be found spacing off but he was considerate towards you, actually he returned the same kindness you gave him, although it was evident that he was still wary and a bit rough on the edges he tried hard and you could see, so whenever he was having a bad mood you tried not to take it personally.

Through gentle words and patience, you won him over, even those around you were surprised at how quickly he warmed up to you but there was just something in him that pulled you, maybe that same thing that pushed you to adopt Leo when you found him malnourished and hurt on your way home from the cemetery or maybe it was something else.

Just as he warmed up to you, you warmed up to him. It was easy to talk to him, he was always willing to lend you an attentive ear, listening to your ramblings about the monotonous things that happened at the clinic, it didn’t matter that he knew nothing about the people you mentioned, he always listened like it was the most important thing in the world.

At first your interactions were always in company of Chifuyu, mostly at the shop while you went to visit which actually ended in you helping around to organize the merchandise or on the usual checkups on the animals to ensure that they were in the utmost condition for the moment someone decided to welcome them into their home.

Then, Kazutora started to walk you to the station but slowly that turned into him accompanying you all the way home and since he was taking the time to go with you you started offering him a cup of tea at your house before he’d leave again to get back to his and Chifuyu’s place.

That wasn’t the end of it because one cup of tea turned into two, then three and finally what started as a thanks for the inconvenience turned into hours-long talks about the most menial things just because.

Your cats loved him; Blue was always rubbing himself against his legs while Leo wasted no time to go lay on his legs and with a meow demand to be petted at the moment; but the most amazing thing of all was that Jin didn’t hate him, in fact he got way too comfortable with him which was a thing that you’d never seen, the only other person besides yourself that he liked was Hina, hell, not even Chifuyu had been able to charm the bigger cat and now apparently he didn’t mind Kazutora trailing behind you when even up to that day whenever he was visiting Chifuyu would get a growl from Jin but not Kazutora.

He was nice to your babies, he liked them and you could see that he didn’t change his demeanour towards them even when he thought you weren’t looking, in fact his voice got softer when directed at them and you were also the kind of person that trusted animal’s perception so the fact that your beloved cats liked him really told you that he had changed from what little you knew about his ways before being sent to prison after Baji’s death.

Kazutora started noticing the little things about you, for starters the way you’d always be singing a random thing off tune but with such energy that it was amusing but when asked he’d swear on his life that he wasn’t bothered that he actually liked it even though you knew very well that you weren’t a good singer but the opposite yet there was something powerful about having him joining in the middle of your singing, even when he didn’t know the lyrics he’d be humming along.

You were a sight to behold for him because in all the mess of his life he had never encountered someone as lively as yourself. Even after losing Baji you tried your best, you were determined and hardworking and so kind, not only to him but to every living thing no matter if they were animals, people or even plants, you amazed him because you were always so willing to be gentle to anyone.

You were a soothing presence.

That was not to say you didn’t have your bad days, after all you were only human and it was simply impossible to be at one hundred percent everyday the whole day, but you pushed through and you were always quick to ask for forgiveness if you had an outburst towards someone, you were the kind to not withhold apologies even when you weren’t at fault. He could remember a handful of times in which you apologized when he was the one to step on your toes.

You, of all people apologized to him, a social reject, a vermin, you apologized to him as if he was worthy, as if that was the logical thing to do but he knew that no matter what you did he knew that he was the one that still owed you a lifetime of apologies.

He wasn’t an idiot, he knew how much Baji meant to you even to that day, he noticed the little pieces of him lingering in your everyday, like how you always wore a hair tie around your wrist even when your hair was way too short for you to ever need it and whenever you had to get your bangs out of your face you used hair clips, never the tie on your wrist, the way you always cracked your knuckles as if getting ready for a fight even if you were only checking the animals and the way you carried yourself in a way resembled the way Baji used to.

He never told you but a few times he found you at the cemetery by coincidence while visiting Baji and there was something heartbreaking about seeing you kneeling on the ground with trembling shoulders despite it being a hot day. He regretted what he did, not only because he felt guilty or ‘cause he missed his friend but also for your sake because he wanted to see your happy smile, he never wanted to hear your cries ever again.

Just like him, you started seeking his company more and more, not only were you inviting him to stay and talk after walking you home but you made plans with him and just him, to go window shopping, for a cup of coffee, lunch dates, movie premieres; because you liked going to the movies so much and discovered that he was an enthusiast as much as you; movies on the couch, even just lazy sundays at your house playing the entire day with your cats.

Of course reaching this state was quick yet slow, it was hard to explain, like you were close to him and enjoyed his company, but it was different than it was with Hina or even Chifuyu yet you wouldn’t call it romantic, not at first.

Sure, there was something to Kazutora, you weren’t blind so you could see clear as day that he was rather handsome, probably one of the prettiest guys you’d ever met but there was something more, something that pulled you, something broken and lonely that tugged at your heart and told you to care for him.

At such a young age he had been to prison on two occasions and you could actually see that that was simply the tip of the iceberg. He had to mature too soon, he mentioned vaguely that his relation with his parents wasn’t the best and his eyes at times looked older than he actually was, plus it took a long time for him to get used to your affectionate ways because your love-language was physical touch. You had a special fascination with hair and all of your friends were used to that but Kazutora was like a kicked puppy that was only learning to trust in people once more.

You were a new breeze of air into his life, with your caring ways and funny nature he fell. For the first time in his life he had someone like you, at first it was difficult for him to realize that the fuzzy feeling inside his gut whenever he looked at you or even heard your voice meant what people called love but it was a given because he had never felt that way before.

For the longest time he felt like love was a lie, he remembered how bad his home life was, how strained and full of pain the things between his parents were, even now from time to time he had nightmares of his mother crying as his father hit her and then her begging him; only a child; to pick sides.

He wanted to hold you close, to keep you away from harm and to listen to your laugh for days on end, for once his heartbeat quickened for someone, he found a safe place in your presence, you were an oasis after years roaming the desert. You were such an unusual kind of certainty in his life that he never had but that he had searched for so long.

While Kazutora realized rather quickly; in comparison to you; that you had wormed your way into his heart making a home for you it took you around three years and others pointing it out for you to actually realize that he meant to you more than a friend.

The first one was your mother although not as subtly but rather by saying that she was happy that you were now with Kazutora which took you by surprise because you weren’t.

That wasn’t the end of it, but only the beginning.

The next one was Hina one day you were sleeping over at her house, but the cherry on top was Chifuyu.

“Hey, I know it’s not really my business, but when are you going to get together?” he asked one time when you went out for coffee.

“What?” you asked mindlessly, stirring some sugar into your beverage.

“Yeah, you’re kind of driving me crazy, it’s kind of annoying feeling like a third-wheel without actually being one, just get it over with” he spoke before taking a sip from his own cup.

“What?” you snapped your head back to him.

“Is that the only thing you’re gonna say?” he looked at you through half-lidded eyes.

“Yes, because I honestly don’t understand a single thing of what you’re saying” you shook your head and took a sip from your coffee.

“What I’m saying is that it’s obvious that you like Kazutora” he said matter-of-factly.

“Of course I like him, he’s my friend, I like you too”.

“No, you don’t, you like me as your friend but you like Kazutora in a different way, a lovey-dovey way” he deadpanned.

“No, Kei-” you began just like you did whenever your mother used to bring up your love life or thereof lack of it.

“Baji-san has been gone for years already” he cut you, wincing as he said that and to you his words felt like a slap across your face.

“Look, I know, trust me, I do, but it’s been long enough and if there is someone that makes you feel good you should go for it, he wouldn’t want you being unhappy for him” he sighed and with a hand pushed his hair back.

“He asked me to take care of you because he wanted you to be alright, he wanted you to be happy and he’d probably punch me if I simply stood by and watched you being miserable” he pushed his cup to the side, leaned over the table to grab you by the shoulders and looked into your eyes seriously.

“I know you like him, don’t be an idiot, it’s painfully obvious with how you look at him and spend almost all of your free time with him, Baji-san won’t be mad at you for finding someone new and I believe that he’d be happy that it is Kazutora of all people”.

Before you could respond to that, the sound of a new message cut you off and when you looked sideways to your phone on the table, a soft smile graced your lips when Kazutora’s name appeared on the screen. Without thinking you opened it and it was some random video of a kitten; somewhere along the way it became a thing between you and it reminded you of how Keisuke used to send you daily pictures of the cats that went to his house.

“It’s Kazutora, right?” Your face grew hot once you came back to reality, remembering suddenly with whom you were and what you were talking about.

“I’ll let you be, but don’t be an idiot and let yourself be happy” and just like that Chifuyu ended that conversation and quickly changed topics.

You knew you liked him, you felt warm whenever he was around you, his voice soothed you even on the worst of days and you looked forward to his messages. You had learned to find comfort in his eyes but they were a wrong shade; not brown enough.

He wasn’t Keisuke. He’d never be.

A few days later you found yourself in the shop, helping around but constantly sending glances in his direction, his back facing towards you, looking painfully similar to Kei’s even down to the hair length, although the color wasn’t the right match with it’s blonde streaks you could still fool yourself into thinking it was him.

But then he’d turn to look at you and send a smile your way and there would be a beauty mark under golden eyes and a tiger tattoo where it shouldn’t have been and that smile was lacking a pair of prominent incisives peeking through.

You knew it was wrong to look at him searching for Keisuke, searching for your lost love in another, clinging to the remnants of his passing through the world but you missed him so much.

At times you felt like you couldn’t even breathe, you had even fallen asleep in front of his family grave after a long day if you went to visit at dawn after not being able to make it at morning but you had to visit him daily in order to feel in his company because if you ever thought of skipping a lump appeared in your chest crushing your heart.

Yet, even then, even when you realized it wasn’t Baji your heart would skip a bit and your stomach would twist.

Later that night you found yourself walking home with Kazutora by your side in complete but comfortable silence, feeling the warmth oozing from his arm that was left hanging at his side lightly brushing against yours, rising even the tiniest hair of your arm.

Kazutora had been going at it over and over for months. At first, when he realized what he felt for you he decided to bury it deep and forever carry it in silence but as time went on he craved your presence.

He started wishing for more, more smiles, those smiles to be only for him, he even found himself looking forward to getting hurt while playing with your cats because it meant that you would be cleaning up his hands and putting on a band-aid with the utmost care and attention even if they were the most insignificant scratches ever.

He liked having your attention, he liked that you replied to any message from him almost immediately; unless you were attending to a patient then you’d reply as soon as possible; he also liked how your eyes would get bigger whenever something amazed you or if you found something even remotely cute.

Your constant ramblings plagued his mind at every hour no matter if he was asleep. Hell, he even went to Baji’s grave to ask for permission to love you, even if he did so in silence he felt like he owed that much to his old friend because you were his girl after all.

Why did it have to be you? Why Baji’s? Why did you have to come into his life and be like the sun? You were too much for him, too perfect, too good while he was nothing but a mess, too fucked up, too far away from repair. For fuck’s sake, he was the one that took your boyfriend away, he would have been better off handling your hate but instead you were there giving him so much it almost pained him, only adding up to his guilt.

This had to be some sick game of the universe. God must have been having the time of his life laughing at how the killer fell in love with the victim’s old love.

Before any of you knew, you had already gotten home and like it became custom you invited him inside for a cup of tea.

As soon as you opened the door, your three babies rushed to the entryway to greet you, Jin being the very first, you hadn’t taken two steps inside when he was already brushing himself against your legs. The other two weren’t too far but to your disappointment Leo approached Kazutora before even looking at you.

“I’ll stop bringing you here, you’re stealing them away from me” you pouted while kneeling down to hug Jin who looked at Kazutora with no distaste, then you picked up Blue and let him nuzzle your neck, after that still holding him you went to rub Leo with your free hand once he finally took notice of you and remembered who bought him food and toys.

Kazutora’s hearty laugh filled your ears pulling your mouth from the pout into a smile.

“Leo knows who’s the cool one” he winked your way. “I’m kidding, he likes you more” he looked down at said cat “right pal? Isn’t your mom the absolute best?”

“Oh, shut up, flattery won’t take you anywhere” You felt blood rushing to your face so you stood up hiding your reddening face into Blue’s fur.

You hurried to the kitchen and then, out of his sight was when you put Blue down and started to boil some water, hearing over it as the door closed and seconds later Kazutora appeared with the other two trailing behind.

You ended up splayed on the bigger couch in your living room, your back leaning against his side while Jin laid on top of your legs while in Kazutora’s rested the other two cats. At that moment you were with your eyes closed, mindlessly caressing Jin while you listened to Kazutora talk to your cats in a baby voice that you wouldn’t have expected from him the first time you met.

For him it wasn’t easy to keep his cool, he had to school his face even if you weren’t looking at him and oh, his heart was so loud it was about to jump out of his chest and he wouldn’t mind but he didn’t want you to listen.

I’m sorry Baji.

A  meow of protest fell on deaf ears since he had stopped caressing Leo and Blue, instead turning his full attention towards you.

You turned your head and suddenly you found yourself way too close to his face; so much you could’ve counted every single of his lashes; staring up at a pair of golden eyes that were looking at you and only you as if you had been the one to hang up the stars in the sky.

His features were delicate, so beautiful it was heartstopping, he looked almost otherworldly; and not only because the ghost of Baji’s face lingered in his in a particular way; but there was a certain glimmer in his eyes that you had been noticing from a few days leading to that one, only that then it shined brighter than ever.

Unbeknownst to you, your eyes were reflecting Kazutora’s shine and your heart was beating to the same tempo as his starting up a melody of their own with your breathing getting caught up in your lungs making up the rhythm accompanying your song.

You were being drawn into each other like opposite poles of a magnet, barely any resistance was there and soon enough you met in the middle. At first it was the softest brush; like when you first dip your toe before jumping into the water; but it started a whole revolution inside both.

The brush became a second and then your lips were pressing against each other, basking in the warmth that radiated off that single contact that sparked a bunch of reactions at the same time. Your heart went off, your lungs closed; forgetting for that moment that they needed air and not that man to keep kissing you; and for the briefest moment your mind stopped thinking about Baji.

Kazutora was ready to die, if he was sent to hell at that very moment he’d be glad because at least he got a taste of heaven and it was more than enough. He decided then and there that he was bound to be cursed because how did a monster like him manage to get a kiss from an angel such as yourself? It must have been a sin for something so tainted to even look your way.

He didn’t know when your hand placed itself on the side of his neck but he knew that he was yours, if there was any doubt of that up until that point, it vanished with the way you were gently caressing his tattoo as if you were tracing it by memory, as if you had paid close attention to him, as if he mattered, as if he was something more than a broken thing.

Something inside you moved when a whimper escaped his lips the first time you pulled away for a mere second in order to get air before going in once more, this time ready to open your mouth and let him take while you explored. It felt nice, new; which was to be expected since the last time you had kissed someone this way had been with Baji.

Keisuke.

You opened your eyes and suddenly pulled away, almost as if his touch burned you; and in a way it could be said to be true; and your violent movement startled the three cats that you had ignored moments before, making them leave for your room.

The image of your beloved; death; boyfriend took Kazutora’s place, brown replaced gold and the beauty mark vanished, the yellow strands that framed his face turned jet black and the smile you’d been missing like crazy; that particularly his that showed his teeth was there.

You blinked a few times and his image left, allowing you to see Kazutora for who he was and not the ghost of him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came to me” he looked at you with tears gathering in his eyes almost pleading and you realized how it must have looked to him.

“No, Tora, I-”

I’m an idiot, I blew this up. Again I’ve just gone and ruined what good I had.

“I’m going now” he stood up and left for the door, leaving you alone and cold on the couch.

I’m sorry Keisuke.

You stood up and went after, finding him in the doorway hastily putting on his shoes but you grasped his arm to stop him.

“I will leave right now, it’ll be like nothing happened” you caught a glimpse of a tear trailing down his cheek and that sight prompted you to speak.

“No” your other hand reached for the fabric of his shirt, securing him.

“Y/N”

“I don’t want you to leave, I-” the words choked you, there was too much you had to say and your mouth wasn’t responding as fast as you would’ve liked.

“Don’t ask me to stay because if you do it’ll only hurt more when you tell me it was a mistake”

“But it wasn’t a mistake, I want you, okay? Kazutora, I like you” you at least managed to say the one thing that was clear in your mind, that had been clear for a long time but only got accepted after that one conversation with Chifuyu.

That certainly stopped him, for he turned around to fully face you and you saw his eyes filled to the brim in tears that he refused to let run freely.

You reached for his face as slowly as the first time you two met, giving him enough space to retreat, but how could he when the thing he wanted most was to be with you and bask in the calm that your presence brought into his messy life? When he didn’t give any signs of pulling away you smiled and cupped his cheeks as if you were holding a piece of glass; and in a way Kazutora was just as fragile as that material when it came to you.

He leaned into your touch, and you were bold enough to pull him in and rest your foreheads together, looking with all seriousness into his eyes, having deja vu of the first day.

“Why? Why? I- what I did to Baji, you know what I’ve done, I don’t”

“I really can’t say, I just do, it’s, it’s hard, okay?” you closed your eyes for a brief second before continuing.

“I swore that there wouldn’t be anyone else and now, now you are here and I like being with you but I know that is way different from how it is with anyone else, it’s something more, something I never thought I’d be able to feel again”

He smiled through his tears because after all he’s done, every mistake in his life said that he didn’t deserve you and yet there you were.

“But I also have to be honest with you” he braced himself for what would be your next words.

“I still love Keisuke, I will probably still be loving him even fifty years from now and that is something that will never change, he was my first friend, first time holding hands, my first love, first kiss, many firsts, he took most of them” you gave out a wobbly smile.

“He’s forever imprinted in my skin and I’ll always be his” he lowered his gaze at that. “But if you can accept that I’m willing to try this, I never dated; not really, not an actual relationship; after him but I wouldn’t mind it being you, I think we deserve a chance”.

His heart was thumping inside his chest making it harder to process everything so you waited while his mind raced. Kazutora looked into your eyes and knew he had to take the chance because you were what he needed and even if he was undeserving you thought him worthy.

A selfish part of him, the bad side said that he should be glad because if Baji was there he knew you would have chosen him, a thousand times you’d have chosen Baji over Kazutora and that pained him but what pained him the most was the fact that a tiny part of him was happy because now he had the chance to be with you.

He was taking the life Baji should’ve had, but he’d take good care of you.

He could live being second best if that meant he got to have you.

[kkusuka]

HQ poly Headcannons  pt. 2

Poly Headcannons <3  part 1 

pairs: Oikawa & Ushijima, Hanamaki & Matsukawa, Suna & Osamu, Kita & Aran, iwaizumi & Kyotani, and Oikawa & Kageyama

nsfw and sfw

Oikawa Tooru & Ushijima Wakatoshi

Sfw

This was an interesting match up

Considering the fact that Tooru can barely stand sharing you sometimes, they seem to make it work!

You were most likely Ushiwaka’s girlfriend, and Tooru just couldn't stand for that

Well at first he didn't really know that fact

He met you in the stans after an Alders game that he 100% wasn't there to spy on Toshi or to see how much better he got, no way

But luckily, you the beautiful angel of light, sat next to him to cheer for Waka’s team!

So after the game when Tooru was flirting with you and you completely ignored him to go to your boyfriend, Oikawa was more than let down

And you ignored him for the brick wall???? He just didn't understand.

Now he wanted you more than he did when he saw you, even more so that you belonged to the bastard Ushiwaka.

After almost 8 months of befriending you, he finally weaseled into your relationship! And Ushiwaka was so whipped for you he let it happen!

But at that point, he was so whipped for you that he didn't even care that they shared you!

Your guy’s dynamic is a bit twisted and hard to get a good understanding of.

Where Tooru makes it painfully aware to everyone that the two of you are dating, Wakatoshi is like a silent predator

He’s silent but deadly, and you’ve known him for far longer. That means he knows what you really like.

It's simple, he let’s tooru take you on extravagant dates and all that meaningless stuff.

But Ushiwaka is always there waiting at home to cuddle and watch a ton of movies with, he even lets you climb on him and cuddle him like a big teddy bear

Nsfw

This is one of the pairs that I think you're fucked in

It’s a silent competition of who can wreck you worse

Unlike some other Oikawa pairs, I truly believe that Oikawa would top

But Wakatoshi is also a top, a big man who has big needs

This ends up with you most likely with a two cocks one hole situation

If not that, it's the classic split roasts or Eiffel tower!

Oh to have Ushiwaka reaming you with Tooru in your mouth, yeah it's not as peaceful and soft as it sounds

But it’s still worth it

It starts softly! Then they go harder to try and beat the other! Then they really just treat you like a fleshlight.

Thankfully Tooru knows good aftercare techniques

But you still can’t walk for a while

“You can cum for me, show Toshi why you like better, go ahead”  

“You stretch so good for me, even after Tooru’s turn, you're always so tight”

“Look at her little clit, did Ushiwaka not pay enough attention to it? That’s ok! Tooru’s gonna make it all better for you!”

Hanamaki Takahiro & Matsukawa Issei

sfw 

Let's be real here, you met them at a spencers or a sex shop in a mall.

But it was a cute meetup!

After that, you guys just seemed to keep bumping into each other and became close friends

The initial relationship was started by Makki, he was the more open of the two so it made sense

And it’s been smooth sailing from then on

The amount of inside jokes you guys have is almost ridiculous, everywhere you go in the city you have a joke

You guys spend almost every waking moment with one another

One of their favorite things is to take you shopping, so you can do a little fashion show for them with anything you want to try on!

As in them make you try on revealing outfits for them

Dates normally would include random dinners at restaurants them a movie night/ sleepover

Like you guys would just stay up an fool around for hours on hours

They literally have no problems sharing and are always making sure you're perfectly ok with everything they do.

Nsfw

As expected you guys are very adventurous

Daddy Matsun got you and Makki covered

Well that's when Makki isn't trying to ream you into the couch

They both like toys, like a lot, a lot

Punishment is where the toys really shine, but you can't really call the toy punishment, punishment because you feel really good during it.

And it the most repeated thing you guys do

Mattsun’s the punishment dealer, so he’ll give you the biggest dildo that you guys have, no lube, he’ll tie your arms up and make you try to get down on it

BUT if he’s feeling a bit more punishing, he’ll set up a vibrator and set it to your little clit and turn it ALLLL the way up

But if that isn't enough, he will either let Makki in your ass, or the fuck machine will come out

They really love watching you try to get off, it does two things

1-  it gives them new ideas

2- it shows how much you need them, and their cocks in your little aching holes

This lead to them having you wear plugs in public, which moved to wearing a vibrator

Sometimes, they make you wear a mask, but under the mask

(come here)

(closer)

(closer)

They make you wear a ball gag under your mask

Good babies do what their daddies tell them too <3

“Look ‘Kawa, her hole is so tight she can barely fit both of us, just relax baby. They’ll get in, we’ll make sure of it”

“Makki, spread her legs wider, don't let her his from this”

“Don't make me gag you brat, you’re lucky Makki is in good mood, huh?”

Suna Rintaro & Osamu Miya

The way you got together was like love at first sight  

For both of them too

You met Osamu first, you were seated next to him at an Italian cooking class

You guys had joked around and he was so impressed by your cooking that he got your number!

(he won't tell you but he had already sent pictures of you to Suna, and he was doing it allllllllll night)

He immediately invited you to Onigiri Miya, where you met Mr. Rintarou

Who was already practically in-love with you just from pictures.

You were clearly drawn to them, they were so cool!

They made a big scene of asking you out too

They both took you to one of the best restaurants in the city and had a private balcony dinner

After dessert they took both of your hands and asked you, in sync nonetheless, you do wonder how long it took for them to figure out how to do that

Clearly, you said yes, and that was the first of the many great memories you have with the two!

Since they both have pretty busy schedules they can't always come to you, so you go to them!

Even if they assured you that you didn't have to work, that never stops you from taking up shifts and Onigiri Miya on Monday and Fridays, (sometimes on Wednesdays if Osmau relents)

Even when you do work, you make time to make and bring Suna lunch every time he has all day practice

(you make them both lunch every day, but they can get it themselves, they are grown men, and you serve no one)

Traditional dates are less common, you guys mostly just like to hang out with each other

Like 3 am cooking challenges and asking to get ice cream from the shop down the road

You guys also, when you can, just spend hours cuddling in your bed or on the couch just in each other's arms

(can you tell i’m uwu-ing)

Nsfw

For having a busy schedule you guys sure do have time to fuck

A common theme is having Samu fuck you when Suna watches

God, watching you fall apart around his best friends dick will never get old, so so pretty when you're all fucked out and begging for him too

Sometimes hell have you suck him off, but he isn't unstable he can wait his turn~

Osamu works just as hard as he does, he has to let oust some stress and, you're just so good at making them feel better

Remember the cuddling?

Yes, that's a guise to cockwarm you, let them relax you always feel so good and today was s stressful

I can tell you saw this coming but, Suna likes to put whipped cream all over you, it gives him an excuse to eat you out for hours and Osamu and excuse to have you naked and able to eat as much whipped cream as he wants

Do they like double penn.?

Yes, very much so ma’am.

Just know that you are stuffed at any available moment they can manage

*cough*  whipped  *cough*

“look she’s grinding into like a circus whore huh ‘Samu? go harder” 

“look into the camera baby, tell them all the things you’d love for them to do to you” 

Iwaizumi & Kyoutani

This was an interesting one for sure

A senpais pretty girlfriend thing too

Iwaizumi knew Mad Dog had a crush on you before he did, and he did everything in his power to deny the accusation

The entire team could see how the second year was calm and behaved when you were around, so taking the high road

Iwaizumi came a with a plan: bring you and Kyotani as close as possible

All with consent firm you and knowing he was ok with anything that would happen

Suddenly inviting him to hang out with the two of you

Then it was letting him have you in his lap while you watch movies

And that progressed into letting him cuddle you after bad days, never  without Iwa of course

Everyone on the team could tell the effects that it was having on him, he was calmer and easier to get along with.

He even started listening to Oikawa when he spoke, it was like a miracle.

And k\Kyotani finally got enough courage to tell you!

(you had pretty much known, but wanted him to say it himself)

Thus began what I would call that “Kyotani learns how to love” saga

Dates were first, they both took you to a small field of flowers to have a picnic and when it got dark out you guys set up a sheet and watched a movie!

For the both of them being temperamental, they got along really well

(mostly because Kyotani hangs off nay words you or Iwaizumi say)

You also make the both of them lunch and some afternoon snacks for practice!

(and if anyone who sees you guys, they’ll never mention how odd the two angry boys look next to their sweet little princess)

Nsfw

Sir Iwaizumi holds the torch

He’s the main dominant force, though Kyotani tries oh he does

Yeah, hate to say it but you bottom for them, every time.

A big thing is when he lets Kyo get you alone (while he watches)

Yeah maybe he lets kyo take over every once in a while, he’ll let him have you

Iwaizumi love having you under him, putting you in the mating press while Kyo watches from a chair a vibrator tied to him, just watching until Iwa finishes and leys Kyo try and breed you

You guys have also dedicated hours to getting you stretch enough to take both of them in one hole, but if not that then one hole for each of them will do

As you could imagine, they both love marking you up

You always come out of sex looking beat up

Most of the bruises are on your neck and inner thighs, but the bites on your nipples and the curve of your ass beg to differ

Now the real question is when Kyo is being bad!

Feathery kisses all over him, that's not where he wants your mouth, lower go lower

Don’t leave him!

He always learns his lessons after hours of waiting Iwa breed you

You being bad?

No cumming for a week, they can play with you but unless you want the time to get longer you don’t even think about orgasming.

“Calm down Kentaro, it’s too early to break her, we just got started.”

“Yeah i let Hajime have you but you still belong to me too, don’t forget that”

Kita Shinsuke  & Aran Ojiro

This was the perfect girl next door story!

Middle school aran was so thankful to have you calm him down after yet another Miya twins episode

So as the two of you grew up it was natural that you became friends with his friends!

Namely his bestfriends- Kita!

Who was practically at your feet the second you met

From first to third year, they both grew to REALLY like you

They were both ready to spend the rest of their lives with you and were prepared to share if you wanted that.

The day you guys all got together was when they lost to Karasuno at nationals

You guys went back you the hotel room and just sat, cooing how well they did and how great they were no matter the outcome

It wasn't out of the normal for them to be all over you, both of them got a hand, but Aran was nestled into your lap and Kita was snuggled into your chest

Nothing was planned either, at that moment they knew that it was their chance!

The look on their faces when you said that you felt the same!

From then on you were treated even more like a queen

Every Monday before school one of them gets you a bouquet of flowers for the week and the other comes up with a date idea!

You're involved in the dates cycle and that now have a pile of stuffed animals that you got them from things like festivals or the mall

Since your relationship started with a cuddle, it's a favorite between you guys

A movie and some take out. Making fun of the Miya twins, and when Kita won’t admit it, you guys watch a rom-com, where you and Aran laugh at Kita's confused face when he doesn't understand the joke

Even with all of that, the real favorite between you guys is staying after practice and just having fun while cleaning up.

They just wuvvv uuuuuuuuu <3

Nsfw

Even if Kita is the commanding voice, Aran id the driving force

Kita likes when you two put on a show for him

Not that it's hard, even if Aran wasn't half as good as he was, your faces could satisfy him until his dying days.

Speaking of shows, Kita is a dictator, which means punishments

One of his favorites is having you finger fuck yourself in front of him and Aran until you can't move

Another is tying you up at having you watch the both of them jerk off to seeing you try and get off by grinding on the sheets (which does not work)

Aran, whether he admits it or not, he took a page out of Suna’s book

His entire hidden photo album is of you either being fucked by him or sucking Kita off

He also has an entire recorded version do you guys fucking that he and Kita watch when you aren't home

When Kita does have you to himself he takes on the Dom/Sub kinda thing

Aka borderline pet play

You sit and listen to him and what he says like a good pet, and you get a reward!

He dresses you up in little white dresses and he has you kneel in front of him and cockwarm him while he works

When Aran has you alone he takes the chance toooooo

….

…

…

..

Breed you!

Like a good little girl!

You take his cum so so well, don't you!

Yes yes, you do!

“Don’t let her walk all over you Aran, breed her like a good cow” (i had to, I really did)

“You look so pretty stretched around my cock, you're a good breeding whore, right? Yes, you are!” 

Oikawa Tooru & Tobio Kageyama

This was a classic “in love with my senpais pretty girlfriend” kinda thing

Kags didn't mean to

He had known you from middle school and had a huge crush on you, but he knew that was as far as it would go

But when you came up to him after the game with seijoh and told him that he would have better luck next time

It was the hug that got him and in true Kageyama fashion he just couldn't help the words that fell from his mouth

“Thank you, you're still really pretty, and I've always loved you!”

Silence………………………………….

He couldn't even apologize because Oikawa was already on you yelling at him about never letting you near Kageyama again.

Yeah you had calmed both of them down, telling Tooru that he was overreacting and Kageyama was harmless to your relationship

After a few days of silence, you had invited Kageyama to have a “talk” with you and Oikawa

It was really just talking about feelings and ultimately Oikawa admitting that he was willing to give it a try, but you were his first and foremost and that won’t change

But you were quick to realize that they were actually really good together

The rivalry between the two always kept you on your toes and fueled both of their superiority complexes

Dates were always happening all the time, anther constant competition for you to like one of them better than the other

It's mostly movies and take out but its a date nonetheless

One thing they love to do is try to teach you how to play, all the time they try to get you to hit their sets

Even if you're awful at it, they appreciate you trying to learn more about their greatest passion.

You also try to go to as many of their practices as you can manage, they really love having you there to cheer them on!

Nsfw

Ok so at first Kageyama had absolutely no idea what to do, so some exploring was mandatory

Finding out he was a switch was a happy surprise!

That leads to things going two ways!

You could have Tooru taking his throne in the bedroom and he commands his two peasants to do exactly what he wants them too

This can include just regular soft sex with your little tobio gazing and longing for him, while tooru watches

Or

Tooru will have the two of you grinding, Tobio with a cock ring and you a strict order to no cum until told.

Or maybe he’ll have the two of you ride dildos, tied up and making a pretty show for him

Or you could have Tobio dictating both of you

This is mostly having you ride him while Toru watches, but he can't touch

It also might be Tooru eating you out and kags in your mouth, fucking your face. <3

Whenever either of the boys wins something you take all the time in the world and worship him as he deserves!

“Aw! Tobio I know you can go faster than that! Oh ho ho, ~ y/n I know you aren't about to cum! I didn't give you the go-ahead! Hold on, baby!”

“Tooru you look so weak. You haven't even touched her and you're ready to cum.”

“You look so pretty under me, Tobio~ let me and Tooru take care of you!”  

[x-infernhoes-x]

She’s My Collar- Basilio x Reader

Title: She’s My Collar

Genre: Romance, Smut, Porn with Plot

Warning(s): Mentions of Semi-Public Sex, Car Sex, Mentions of Alcohol, Implied Consent, Basilio nearly murdering someone because they spoke badly about you

Description: KAI IF YOU’RE READING THIS, THIS ONE’S FOR YOU AND ALL OF YOU BASILIO SIMPS 

NOTE SOMETIME AROUND 3:00 AM YESTERDAY NAWALA YUNG ORIGINAL PUTANG INA I WAS THIS CLOSE ON FINISHING IT SHDJGFHJBDKJBSEDVGSJHGBKHGSFKJBGBKJGBJGLJBGWL  AN HOUR’S WORTH OF WRITING G O N E AND I HAD TO REWRITE EVERYTHING I AM STRESSED AND DSBJKGBKJFSDGNB SO ENJOY.

4:31 AM NOTE UPDATE YESTERDAY: langya ayoko na. matutulog na nga ako, sakit na ng likod ko.

6:50 PM NOTE TODAY: I’M GOING TO FINISH THIS BEFORE MIDNIGHT COMES. ALSO, DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE KIDS!!

12:10 AM NOTE TODAY: The note above this one is a lie. I managed to continue this after family night lmao but enjoy still. Tried my best to make it gender-neutral as possible but yeah :’) I kinda failed successfully I think???

  You and Basilio have been dating for quite some time now. Although he was a messy guy you made sure that you had his back and helped him out to work on how to keep his sloppy tendencies at bay and in turn he would shower you with love and affection that you would usually get from the demi-god of war. Basilio was the perfect guy, he was a sweet lad who made your lonely days better, he made sure that you were cared for in any shape or form and he always had your back in everything and he would give you anything you would ask for in the world. The two of you barely even fought and if you were to fight, it would be more of a joke one than an all-out screaming match. He was the best thing that has ever happened to you and you constantly thank Bathala for it and Basilio thought the same. The two of you were a match made in heaven.

 Although despite your busy schedules keeping the two of you apart, you both made sure that you and your loving boyfriend would get the chance to hang out together. Often, you and Basilio would frequent the Diabolical together, just basking in each other's presence, tucked away in some booth Hank had reserved for the two of you, or sitting by the bar just chatting about each other’s day. You could recall Hank telling you that whenever you were around or that when someone ever mentions your name, Basilio seemed to calm down and would eagerly listen into whatever conversation had said your name. There was a time where Basilio nearly knocked someone’s teeth out because they were talking badly of you and it took Crispin, Maliksi, Hannah, Amie, Alex, and Hank himself to hold back the younger twin and prevent him from punching someone’s lights or teeth out or even prevent a murder from ever happening.

 “Alam mo, (Y/N) pag naririnig ni Basilio na dadaan ka rito, parang siyang aso na di mapakali. Kulang nalang na magkaroon siya ng buntot e.” Hank joked as he was cleaning the freshly washed glass, watching Basilio flush red, face buried into his forearm as he groaned in response while you let out a small chuckle.

 Now looking back, that memory seemed to be far away from you. Tonight happened to be your anniversary with Basilio and instead of a cozy night in, he wanted to do something different.  Basilio wanted to take you out dancing and bar hopping around Bonifacio Global City’s luxurious bars (sometimes you wondered to yourself how the hell can Basilio afford this.) and maybe take you sight seeing around the place when you got the time. Pacing around your living room in your apartment, you were about to shoot him a text message when a knock at your door had interrupted you from doing so, nearly dropping your phone in the process. “Sandali  lang!” you yelled to whoever was outside the door. If there was one thing you learned from dating Basilio, it was being vigilant. You had to make sure that the person on the other side of your door was your boyfriend and not some kind of Aswang or any malicious person who had a personal grudge against the twins and Alex. Taking a peek at the pee hole your door had, you were greeted by the sight of your boyfriend, Basilio grinning up at you as he waved. Instead of wearing his suit, Basilio was in his casual clothing for tonight, his long silken locks pulled back in a half-up, half-down man-bun.

 Opening the door, you then welcomed him with open arms before proceeding to smack him playfully on his arm, an amused smirk on your lips as you opened your mouth to speak, your tone light and teasing, “Took you long enough! Siguro na-traffic ka no?” Basilio could only roll his dark eyes at you as he placed a loving kiss upon your head. “Hindi a, si Kuya Crispin kasi e, sobrang tagal niya sa banyo kaya ayun.” Pulling himself away from you, he then offered his arm for you to take with a grin, his head tilting towards the direction of the door as he spoke, “So ano? Tara na?” “Siyempre naman.”  

 After making sure your apartment was locked, the two of you went down towards the direction of the parking lot and took a couple few selfies inside the elevator, you and Basilio were off. While in the car, the both of you would scream along to the lyrics of Ang Huling El Bimbo by Eraserheads while in traffic. On your way to BGC, both of you were surprised to see Maliksi and his significant by the stoplight, taking the advantage of the long-ass stop to chat with the Prince of the Tikbalangs and his fiancé. Your conversation was cut short when the stoplight had changed from red to green, saying your goodbyes to each other as Basilio drove away to your very first destination, which was none other than XYLO at The Palace.

  In all honesty, you’ve heard about this bar but it was the first time you got to enter the place itself. The both of you got lucky that the place wasn’t as packed and that you got there early before the actual party had started. Both you and Basilio then made your way over to the bar to grab your first drinks of the night. The two of you chatted for a while, occasionally nodding your heads to the beat of the song. After a while, the night seemed to kick in and both of you were already at what seemed to be your 3rd or 4th bar of the night, this time you and Basilio were jumping up and down to DJ Khalid’s song ‘All I Do Is Win’ before the both of you screamed along with the rest of the patrons, “Putang Ina, Alak Pa!”  and time seemed to flow faster than ever as you and your loving boyfriend went in and about around BGC’s classiest bars, downing every single drink you two could manage and take or even dance along to the songs the bars provided while occasionally sharing a kiss here and there, not minding the reek of alcohol and sweat clinging on each other’s bodies as the two of you laughed.

 Sometime around 10:30, you and Basilio were shitfaced to oblivion but both of you were used to it. You had lost count on how many drinks you’ve managed to down yet you and Basilio couldn’t care less, you were certain that you heard your phones ring but you two never got the chance to answer them because Basilio was busy doing body shots on you or you making out with your boyfriend in some hidden corner of the bar. You were starting to get the hint that after your little make-out session at Club Haze, he was focused on one thing and you knew what that meant, despite being inebriated out of your wits. So what do you do? Put on a show for him of course.

 You knew Basilio was sitting by the bar because you told him you were going to use the bathroom to freshen up a little bit since the club felt a little bit humid. What he didn’t expect was you sashaying over to where the dance floor, the last notes of Nelly Furtado’s Maneater fading away only to be replaced by Doja Cat’s Streets. To you, the sound seemed to have slowed down and you weren’t sure because it was the alcohol’s effects taking over, nobody else in the club mattered but your boyfriend alone.  The figures around you seemed to blur and Basilio was the only one you had your eyes on as your body moved to the beat, eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted, and even from afar, you could see your demi-god of a boyfriend shuffle in his seat, his cheeks brightly flushed even under the lights of the dark club (yes, Basilio even tried to hide his raging boner from everyone but he was failing miserably). You knew that he was watching you closely like a predator ready to strike and even from afar you can tell that he was getting impatient with your games and that made you smirk. You knew that Basilio had a thing for Semi-Public sex and your several other experiences with him were proof of that, hell the two of you almost got caught one time and you were internally thankful that you weren’t. But tonight, Basilio’s going to abide by the rules of your own game and not his.

The opening bass beat from Beyonce’s Yonce/Partition was your cue to take things up a notch by making your way over to the bar where you had stood upon the counter (you had asked the bartender and the rest of the patrons who hung around the bar save for Basilio in advance and they seemed to agree with it just as long as you were careful) and made your way down the counter, hips sashaying and your body with every beat and drop before stopping to where he was, a smirk on your face, your hands running up from your thighs and right past your chest in a sensual manner, leaning in just so you could ghost your lips over Basilio’s eagerly waiting ones before pulling away with a wink. Once your little show was done and you had gone down from your counter with the help of the bartender you had just spoken to before making your way over to the dance floor once more to dance just as your song, She’s My Collar by Gorillaz began to play only to be caught short when you felt a hand grab you by the wrist.

Despite being drunk you were still smart and quick to retaliate towards whoever had grabbed you only to be surprised to be looking right directly at your boyfriend’s dark obsidian gaze, his breath slow and ragged and you knew you were in it for real this time the moment he said, “We’re leaving.” In a tone, you’ve never heard from him before and that seemed to send shivers and chills up your spine as he dragged you away from the bar to head right outside.

Honestly, the whole trip back to the car seemed to pass you by like a blur, you would occasionally stumble on your own feet, which prompted Basilio to sling you over his shoulder like you were nothing but a sack of potatoes (at least it gave you a perfect view of his ass). The moment you arrived at your car, however, you were thrown haphazardly into the backseat after Basilio had unlocked the door with ease and then entered the vehicle as well, quickly pulling you up on his lap where he locked his lips with you in a heated kiss, hands roaming around your body with such need and you could feel his erection straining against the fabric of his dark jeans. You were surprised at first but once the initial shock and surprise had worn off, you kissed him back as well with the same passion and need that he emulated from his kiss, your fingers and hands made a quick undo of his man-bun and top, hastily unbuttoning them, eager to touch the skin underneath it and leave marks on it. Basilio could only groan in response to your touches, his tongue exploring your mouth like uncharted territory, his hands groping your behind with such force that made you moan out his name, a quiet hiss of “Tangina.” Soon followed your surprise.

 In your mayhem of desire and lust, you didn’t notice Basilio play Chase Atlantic’s song Devilish on the radio.

 Clothes were thrown around and about in the space of the car and in that blur of clothing being discarded around, you were honestly surprised when Basilio had lifted up your lower half towards him, his lips trailing kisses down your stomach and thighs before his head disappeared in between your legs, bestowing you the best oral you’ve ever had received from him in your years of dating. You couldn’t thrash around with him holding you so tightly against his face as he went down on you but your hands were free to roam and tug at his long silken locks, his name spoken like a prayer  and just as you were about to reach your peak, he had pulled away from you, a sadistic yet innocent smirk placed upon his now glistening chin and lips coated in your slick as he spoke, “Not yet, babe.”  Winking at you, he gingerly set you down before he leaned over to where his now discarded jeans were as he pulled out his wallet, fishing out a condom and a small pack of lube for him to use. Once the foil was open and the rubber was on his already hard dick, he then proceeded to open the pack of lube, rubbing it on his length before instructing you to get on your hands and your ass up for him.

 And by Bathala you began to see stars the moment he had entered you. Your nails seemed to dig on the dark leather surface of the car’s upholstery, your back arched to the extreme and you were certain that you could feel Basilio trailing kisses along the expanse of your neck, shoulders, and back, his hands guiding you on his length while yours snaked around to reach for him, tilting your head sidewards to catch his lips in an open-mouthed kiss, his manhood still relentless at fucking you senseless and in between the thrusts and moans, you were thankful that the windows were tinted from the outside or else the two of you would’ve been caught. Throughout the whole night, you two spent it by doing it on every single surface inside the car, doing every single position the two of you could think of, taking each other to new heights with every pose the two of you did, and yes, let’s just say you were sore the morning after that.

 Once the morning came around, the two of you were still naked and you were sure that after your last round with your loving boyfriend, you felt the waves of your hang-over wash over you like a wave, making you groan out in pain. Everything was sore with you and your body was littered with hickies, bruises, and scratch marks while Basilio, who had his healing factor with him thanks to his demi-god status, was relatively unscathed but he did have some hickies of his own to present to the world. Shuffling, you gently nudged Basilio awake as you spoke, “Babe, anong oras na??”

 At your action, your boyfriend, still groggy from sleep, could only groan at this, his hand reaching out to search for his mobile phone to check the time. Squinting, he then saw the time on his phone but the color on his face seemed to drain the moment he saw several missed calls and messages from his twin brother and the Babaylan-Mandirigma herself. “SHIT!” Basilio managed to cry out of sheer panic, his head accidentally hitting against the roof of the car, making him hiss even more, hands holding the spot where he had hit his head. “Lagot tayo kay Bossing, (Y/N), kagabi pa niya tayo tinatwagan kasama ni Kuya Crispin.” At the mere mention of Alex and Crispin’s name, you seemed to understand the sense of urgency before the two of you began to clean up the car, dressing up as you did so, attempting to make yourselves look more presentable and cover the tracks from yesterday’s events. Once done, Basilio was driving like a speeding madman in a rush to head back where his brother and Alex were at.

 It took him at least an hour to arrive at their destination with Alex taking the role as today’s designated driver while Basilio sat in the back with his brother. “San ba kayo galing? Kagabi pa namin kayo tinatawagan ni Crispin, (Y/N), Basilio. Ano ba nangyare, ha?” Alex spoke, her eyes flickering over to where Basilio was, sheepishly scratching the back of his head as he spoke, “Sensya na ho, Bossing. Nag-sight seeing kasi kami ni (Y/N) kagabi tas nag-bar hoping kami tas pagkatapos nakatulog kami dito sa kotse.” A little doubtful of this, Alex could only glance at you from the corner of her eye, expecting for you to react but you held your emotions close to your heart as you spoke, “Totoo po yung sinasabi ni Basilio, bossing. Di po naming sadya na di kayo replyan ni Crispin. Di na po mauulit.” Nodding, Alex then excused the both of you and the car ride was silent, save for the fact that the radio was playing Last Friday Night by Katy Perry. You did feel a little bit cold however and you couldn’t help the fact that something was missing until Crispin screamed out in surprise, horror, and disgust, finally noticing the thing you were missing. Ah shit. “TANGINA BASILIO, ANO TO!?!?!” Crispin managed to yell out, holding up your lace underwear for everyone in the car to see with Basilio quickly snatching the piece of clothing away from his brother, tucking it in his pocket before he responded, “ANONG-ANO KA DIYAN KUYA!?! WALA KANG NAKITA!!”

You silently prayed to Bathala for him to forgive you but you were sure as hell Alex won’t. You made a mental note to not ever do it in the car you guys use for missions ever again.

[mieohmy]

𝖢𝗈𝗆𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝟣𝟢𝟣 | 𝖫𝖾𝖾 𝖩𝖾𝗇𝗈

PAIRING: lee jeno x reader

GENRE: angst, fluff, humor, comfort, established relationship au, college au,  this rly is just a self indulgent fic kjasdfk

WC: 2.1k

NOTES: slight argument/fighting ?? , cursing

SUMMARY: jeno wants your attention, your comforting presence, your love- he simply wants you.

for the bday boy that i treasure sm! happy birthday to puppy jeno <333

ღ

The phone next to you lies untouched, and practically has been for days- or has it been a week already? I mean, it wasn’t your fault that upcoming finals had been taking you to the depths of hell, and you had no choice but to lock yourself at home to study for a week on end. 

Which brings you to day 7? 8? of being holed up in your room all day, memorizing a bazillion tiny printed words and trying to cram as much information as possible in that overworked brain of yours. Getting about 4-5 hours of sleep a day, you couldn’t remember anymore- or even care to remember. Not to mention the added stress that came along with being any normal college student. Wasn’t life just wonderful?

You feel bad for everyone that has tried to contact you over this stressful period in your life (since you completely turned your phone off to eliminate all distractions), but the urge to stop studying completely and just check up on the real world and all its happenings grows stronger. You breathe in -out, constantly chanting ‘self-control’ over and over again in your head. Then your eyes slowly open, and you slap yourself one last time as if to say ‘get it together' before diving back into the books.

Just two more days. Two more days and you can finish and not have to stress about finals until results come out. 

At this point, you were surviving off of coffee, tea, random stolen snacks that your boyfriend would bring over from his dorm. 

Damn, when’s the last time you had a proper meal? Monday?

And then you frown. What day even is it today? You glance at your calendar and- 

Goodness grief, it’s Sunday already. 

You almost have a midlife crisis over wasting basically a week doing nothing but sitting at your desk and looking at words, but then again at this point- you’re just over it and want to be done as soon as possible. 

But soon, a weird feeling arises after you recall today’s date- like you were forgetting something. You place a hand over your forehead. Was there something important today? 

And as if the universe read your mind, the doorbell rings.

A giant wave of confusion washes over you. Was someone supposed to come over today?

-and you just completely wiped it from your mind?

You’re still running through your memories as you walk to the door. No, it's not Chae since she has finals too...

Opening it, you’re not at all expecting who was behind it. 

“Jeno-?”

He blinks back at your wide eyes, expression turning concerned, and you rub your temples in exasperation and defeat. 

“Oh, did we have a date today or something? I’m so sorry- I totally forgot.”

His eyebrows furrow. “No, I was just supposed to come over to hang out with you....”

“It’s been so long since we last talked, baby. You haven’t responded to any of my texts. What’s going on?” He promptly adds, staring intently at you. 

You let out a sigh, and jeno notices your tense shoulders and dark under-eye circles. “I thought you knew. Finals are coming up so I’ve been stuck at home cramming for about a week now actually.” 

His frown deepens. “I did know. And still, y/n..” he says in a warning tone. 

You know what his voice implies, you’ve heard it plenty of times at this point, but right now you don’t have to energy to listen to his nagging. “ I know, I know. Just- come in, I guess.....”

To be completely honest, you wanted to send jeno back home- there was still a lot more information left to cover and you obviously weren’t in your best condition, but he was the one who actually remembered your ‘date’ and drove to your place, so you would feel even worse making him go all the way back to his dorm. 

Jeno easily follows you in, biting the inside of his cheek to hold back any comments while examining your place even though barely anything has changed since he last visited- mostly because there was nothing to change when you were in your room all day. 

You walk to the kitchen, getting your boyfriend some water while yawning. Meanwhile, your mind is drifting away, thinking about what topics are left that you have to go over later. “What are we even doing today?” 

Jeno plops on your couch, arms behind his head. “I don’t know. A movie?”

You hide your grimace, immediately thinking of how much time would be wasted watching one, or possibly even more if jeno was feeling it. In the one to two hours of a movie, you could be done with chapter two and three-

“Y/n??”

Your head snaps up. “Yes?”

“Are you gonna come over here or just stand there in the kitchen all day?” he teases.

You shake your head to clear the fog and join jeno on the couch. Scrolling through the options, you automatically snuggle up next to him, eyes blearily watching the moving tv screen. 

He decides on this one animated film, and you’re too drained to pay attention so you simply nod and let the movie begin. But even though you try your best to focus on the storyline and what’s currently going on, your mind keeps wandering off to other, more boring things- your studies, obviously. 

The number of chapters you covered, the slight of chapters you have left, how long you would have to stay up to finish going through your planned amount of information  -all the stressful thoughts swirling in your head, and it only exhausts you more. 

You let out a sigh, and jeno turns to you. “Are you okay? You’ve been sighing nonstop since we started the movie.” 

You clear your throat, biting back a yawn. “Oh- yeah, sorry. I won’t do it anymore.”

Your boyfriend stiffens but doesn’t say anything, attention returning to the flashing screen in front of him. 

You did try. You really did. But your eyelids keep drifting shut and your head keeps slowly lolling forward and snapping back up -it’s not until your forehead accidentally knocks against jeno’s chest that he finally speaks up again. 

“Y/n. You need to take a break and get some sleep. Now.” His tone is sharp and commanding. 

You snap your eyes back open, vision blurry. “No- it’s fine. I’m good, let’s keep watching.” 

The immediate switch in the air is scary, jeno swiftly reaching for the remote and pausing the movie to look at you dead straight in the eyes before setting it back down with a loud, clattering noise. “You need to rest. I can tell from how tired you look, and I know you’ve been studying for so long, so why is it that hard to just relax for a little?” 

You groan, distress breaking through. “I can’t, okay? You already understand how stressful school is and how important my upcoming tests are. I know you’re just trying to be kind and thoughtful but-“ 

“But what?” He cuts you off, the frustration he’s been hiding for a while finally revealing itself. “Taking a rest from burning your brain out isn’t going to kill you, y/n.”

Your hands at your side clench and unclench, a wave of emotions overcoming you. “I know that. But I can’t afford to have a break now.” Everything suddenly feels overwhelming, and your voice comes out strained and uncontrolled. 

“I’m almost there, jeno. It’s so close, and if I stop now, I’ll feel like a failure.”

He laughs a short and echoing bark. “How do you think I feel? I was trying to brush everything aside and act like it was all fine, but it’s certainly not when you’re like this.”

You falter. 

Jeno gets up, making direct eye contact with you even though his body is trembling and his voice is shaky. 

“I spent the past week just lying in bed and worrying about you- if you were eating okay and getting enough sleep. I was constantly texting you reminders to take care of yourself, only to find out from your friend that you turned your phone completely off.  Do you know how shitty of a person I was feeling? I didn’t want to be a distraction to you because I know how much you care about your grades, but it’s killing me, y/n. I want to be there for you, but instead, I end up feeling like the worst boyfriend in the world.” 

He shudders before continuing,

“And then I come here, brushing off all my worries since I was super excited to finally be with you after so long, and then I have to see you in such a bad condition. Barely taking care of yourself, barely even surviving on your own just so you can pass your exams that I know you’ll already do well on no matter what. As your boyfriend who wants to help and be here for you, do you know how much my heart hurts?”  

He finishes, but not before wiping away the frustrated tears that appeared in his angry rant.

It takes one beat -two beats, before you immediately spring up, rushing towards jeno and throwing your arms around him. 

He accepts it, burying his face into your shoulder and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. 

The guilt courses through your body, and you understand. The consequences of your actions hit you, hard, and you know you deserve it all. Jeno just wants to know that you’re here. You’re here with him.

“I’m really sorry,” you murmur into his hair, “I’m really, really sorry, jeno.” 

You hate the fact that you can still feel the slight wetness of his tears soaking through your-technically his- shirt. You pull back, looking straight into his eyes to make sure he knows you’re being genuine.

“I promise to pay more attention to myself, and I promise I won’t ever let it happen again. I won’t shut you out anymore... and you can come over to take care of me whenever you want, okay?”

Jeno slowly nods, and you softly wipe away the corners of his red eyes of any wetness.

He pulls you closer to him again, inhaling your scent one more time, and you finally let yourself go. 

After about a minute of just enjoying each other’s warm embrace - one that you feel like you haven’t felt in so long- you allow yourself to smile and pull back just enough to place a kiss on his cheek. 

“Was my baby just lonely and missed me too much?” you sing in a soft voice. He lets out a disgruntled noise in response, shaking his head against your body. 

But you both know what the answer is.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed.” You tug his arm easily to your room, putting off your studies, at least for today.

“You’re really gonna take a break this time?” Jeno asks, eyeing you carefully. 

You grin. “Yes? Besides, I know you’re always down for cuddles.” 

You drag him to the bed, taking his arms and wrapping them around your body as exhaustion quickly fills you. 

You fight yourself to stay awake as long as you can to enjoy jeno’s presence, but he notices and hugs you even closer if possible, whispering softly, “Go to sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And before you finally drift off, you sleepily murmur, “I love you, jeno. Like, a lot.” 

Even after you fall asleep in his embrace, he stares down at you, softly kissing your forehead.

I love you too. 

bonus bc i adore jeno too much :

“Jeno- for the last time, you’re not a bad boyfriend.”

“I know.... but-“

You shut him up with a quick kiss.

“You’re the sweetest.”

Another kiss.

“Funniest.”

Peck.

“Handsomest.” 

His ever so growing smile freezes. Jeno looks at you, a surprisingly solemn look on his face. 

You raise an eyebrow, confused. 

“......even more than Nam joo hyuk?”

Ah. He had to go for the favorite actor. 

You swallow, battling an intense internal war before begrudgingly nodding. “Okayyy...fine. You are.”  

He crosses his arms. “I’m what?”

You roll your eyes, whining. “I already said it!”

Jeno shakes his head firmly. “Say the whole thing.”

You take a deep breath in, internally apologizing to your beloved actor. “......you, lee -verymuchanannoyingbaby- jeno, are more handsome than Nam joo hyuk.” Your sentence is finished swiftly in one breath, words slurring together. It actually pains you to say that. But it’s good enough for your boyfriend. 

Jeno delights in the squeal you let out when he picks you up in his arms to spin you around. 

“Fuck yeah- take that, nam joo hyuk!”

ღ

a/n: anyways im going to go hide away and cry over jeno now ^^