#like wtf am i supposed to do though | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

futuristictheoristcowboy · 1 year ago

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I don't know why but I'm always so anxious to sit next to someone, especially kids

#im only 15 but i feel like like one of those millenials that diss 13 year olds over eminem #like wtf am i supposed to do though #am i supposed to be a role model #like hi there fella #or like am i supposed to just remain extremely still and try to become part of the surroundings #i try to do that but i just look really weird because i forget to to breathe sometimes so its just my stupid ass gulping air #like i feel like im supposed to do something #like there's a way i should act #strangers were really nice to me as a kid which made me feel brighter #but then i became too trusting and it really was a miracle i never got snatched to be honest #bruh im still trusting like y would u hurt me its not that deep im just out here living tbh and i just dont feel like assuming bad thigns #like i dont expect you to be a fiend lmao #i keep my circle joyous and whimsy so i dont consider being double crossed

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get-more-bald · 2 months ago

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the biggest thing about X6 is not that he doesn't think of himself as human (though he doesn't, and according to some it's correct) BUT that he doesn't see himself as a Person

#searching through the X6-88 tag on tumblr has not brought me joy #also. 1 thing about is that i hate hate hate the (i think) canon blue eyes he has. like. for fucking what #1st i saw them on tumblr and thought 'well thats stupid. whyd you give him blue eyes? so hed look special? thats weird. at least its uncanon #also. on god. i saw some post headcanoning the companions' appearances and it was p cool UNTIL they got to x6 #and they gave him grey 'almost white' eyes for literally no reason. like if you want to go with the scary factor theres so many ways for it #but no. some people think that blue/grey eyes are sooo special. and for what #<- i have brown eyes but im not just being salty. it really sucks. i dont wanna be the one to call fandom racism but it does smell like it!#also like. i didnt want to go on a stupid tirade about racism in the tags again but the way fandom treats x6 AND preston is just upsetting #other people have made some very good points about it and im not going to repeat them here (also noones gonna read this)#but like... theres 3 'main' black characters that i remember: preston garvey (whom the stron majority of the fandom hates/disliked)#x6-88 (basically the players slave? also hated for being mean and unfeeling (which is justified imo). no quest no freedom no nothing)#and gloria (who i havent met in game but ive heard some actual criticisms of (like. the way shes treated ingame) and noone else talks about)#if theres any other Named and Important characters. sorry but i literally do not remember them #coming back to x6 being justified in being unemotional/mean. he was literally raised this way. he doesnt consider himself to be a person #being he was made that way. he is a Thing and hes meant for one job and hes made to inspire fear #and hes not supposed to have emotions so he just. doesnt. if he does he cant express them anyways #1 if fallout4 was a better written game (or 2 if x6 was white) i think thered be SO much fanfiction about him. the possibilities are endless #i have something brewing in the back of my head. i might start writing even though i suck and its going to be bad #ANYWAYS. general fandom thought on x6 are WRONG and im being a HATER. fuck everyone who doesn't like x6. if you dont like x6 get off tumblr #especially if you like gage but not x6. leave fr #i just woke up wtf am i doingggg

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inkats · 1 month ago

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having a crush is like poison status effect whenever u have to think.

#my ocs #hello yes see i draw #I hate this so much ???????#what the fuck ??????#do u know how much effort I have to put in to not think about it. Like. Should I just kill myself at this point tbh.#and there’s people around me who are purposely trying to get a crush for like. Fun. Why.#this is psychological warfare.#though I guess their goals w crush is have one and never speak to him huh 💭 they just want a guy to think about when bored.#This happened to me by accident 💭 and I am. speaking to him often. I didn’t today though. hashtag winning 💪 (?)#I will get over it. I will speak to no one over midterms week and I will get so over him.#and then I will be so normal platonic about it.#this was supposed to happen in highschool I think I was supposed to get comfortable w this way earlier in life.#I don’t know I don’t care I just need to survive this at this point Jesus Christ.#and hey guess what I was just about to start gushing in this tag it snuck up on me wtf.#I do not want him. (<- affirmations)#I can never let anyone have my Tumblr or my art socials ever god imagine. Anyone seeing this.#it would suck so bad. Guys. I would have to kms.#why did I meet the most attractive and nicest and coolest guy immediately. why is this my first friend in 5 years.#sorry that is gushing huh. god this sucks so bad. I hate. having emotions.#well it’s not gushing it’s like objective fact people will not stop saying he’s won the genetic lottery to his face.#And I get crazy 2nd hand embarrassment every time but also not wrong.#they’re not wrong. ugh. killing myself.#guys why does every tag ramble end this way. guys. why. why am I becoming a real boy I want to be a puppet again actually.#ok. normal time 4 minutes left in movie clean bathroom then sneepy time and I will do so good not thinking about him and will sleep immedia

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lesbiansanemi · 7 months ago

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I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now #because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now #and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day #we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME???#also it's such a waste of fucking water....#idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off #but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up #and this is also something that happens multiple times a day #like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god #but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach #'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit #and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good #his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before #also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career #opportunities for him here (which is true)#and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here'#like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here???#but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc #and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now #i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma #and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own #it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down #about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life #and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done #and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this #that has been made PAINFULLY clear #ugh this is so fucking horrendous #what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person #who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life #like explain it to me jfc

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reptileenthusiastt · 1 year ago

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I genuinely don't think I will be able to mentally and physically handle when Murder Drones ends

There is not a single show, movie, book, game, etc, that I have loved more than Murder Drones

Who knew that a silly little show about robots killing each other would bring me so much joy

#seriously though like wtf am i supposed to do when this show is over #im probably just gonna die #Murder Drones

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awek-s · 6 months ago

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literally got to a point where i begged my mom to help me get a job where she works and she is flat out refusing to help me despite knowing im losing sleep and struggling because of how much stress im under mentally and financially like i literally don’t know what more i can do

#everything I’ve applied for I’m getting ignored for not even a stupid courtesy rejection #I can’t get out of this stupid situation and the one person who can help me just won’t ? there’s many departments at her work she just #refuses to put in a word for me anywhere. loads of others do it for their kids #and I wouldn’t have asked if I had another option but she just doesn’t want to even though there’s no viable reason ?#wtf am I supposed to do like I have nobody in my corner #mrow.org

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ronanlynchbf · 1 year ago

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diversity loss! those ppl correctly gendering u assumed you're straight..

#well 'correctly gendering' they genuinely just saw me as Some Guy i think so automatically referred to me as he #anyway there are a group of usually four to five ppl at the train station nearest to me who stop u and talk to you about sj stuff and/or as #you to donate. so stuff like immigrant rights lgbtq+ rights the environment et cetera & they were eyeing me when i was approaching (to #potentially be stopped & talked to etc. i get stopped like. 80% of the time around there) but then turned back towards each other and said #something along the lines of 'oh this is so scary this is so hard he's so scary' and then didn't stop me to talk and literally as i walked #away (i was JUST past them some ppl rlly do not wait for someone to be out of earsight to tall abt them) one of them said 'his face looked #good (as in approachable & a potential Person To Converse With) but the rest of him....straight man. look at that blouse.'#the previous sentence loosely quoted but it was smth like that...........WTF DO U MEAN STRAIGHT MAN??? TAKE THAT BACK PLEASE I BEG 😭🙏#<<<<<< also they meant cis straight man specifically i'm pretty sure...which is the absolute worst part of that whole assumption.#ALSO what's wrong with my blouse.........#thanks 4 the gender euphoria though. much obliged 👍#double also i don't think i'm using this meme setup thingie in the way it is supposed to be used but it makes sense either way. to me.#TRIPLE ALSO we're just assuming that if someone is a straight man they immediately don't gaf about social justice stuff?? okay.....#i mean i get it but also big generalization. but also i get it. but also big generalization. anyway. in other news i found out my grandma #used to write my grandpa actual poems. like ACTUAL actual poems of the professional sort that she made up and wrote down herself to give #to him <3333 #& more news though this one is not very surprising and in fact very predictable I AM SO SLEEPY TIRED. ZONK TOWN I'M COMING DON'T U WORRY❗❗#just need to read the newspaper (the mutuals' posts of 2day) and then i am going to bed IMMEDIATELY u best believe.

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noxtivagus · 2 years ago

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i shld sleep oh my god

#🌙.rambles #i am somehow not rlly sleepy despite barely having sleep but my head does ache slightly. but just a few more stuff left in this week n #i'll properly rest for a bit ! bcs next week even though we're gna have a break ofc there's like.. prom n then that vacation right after T_#gna be fun but i'm. definitely gna be rlly tired. n.. nah i need to stop overthinking abt sm stuff #just. anxious that i might end up being too shy. usually in social events like that i realize i #end up pushing myself a bit too much n then it ends w me just putting on a strong facade #i'm worried too i think bcs two of my friends haven't.. reconciled yet? so. yeah it is possible i may have to deal w some stuff during prom #fuck. i'm just. worried abt a lot of things in general. but i'm mostly overthinking it. everything.#sigh in general i'm being too harsh on myself again. wtf maybe it's the sleep-deprivation or smth bcs ik i'll manage it all #i believe in myself n know i'm capable but. it's just.. overwhelming rn i think. n it. hurts bcs it's like before in a way..? n like my wol #i wonder. what we'd all do if we were hypothetically given the chance to be able to do whatever we wanted in a day n have whatever we want #without changing the reality we have now or yeah no consequences at all. just a lil day in an alternate world we could control #if you were to choose for yourself n only for yourself what would you do?#sob ig i relate w rinoa too bcs of that strong facade part. i wrote that for my wol too #but like even w all that in the end uh. every time i read these sort of stuff it comforts me deep down #bcs i remember back then when i rlly just had my family #that.. loneliness. i write abt it a lot huh. not that i'm exactly seeking for something. maybe before bcs i didn't talk w my friends anymor #but now i suppose it's just something painfully constant. but not really too #i can't.. put it into words rn n i'm low on sleep. but i rmb just daydreaming to myself back then of my wol's development though #from heavensward.. sorta hiding herself n having to be strong for others. though she so desperately just wants to let her guard down #n be free yk. a break from all her responsibilities n rest.. she's young after all. but while i do relate with that it's still #yk particularly w the context of my wol being yeah the warrior of light in ffxiv. but. i rmb writing of how then that was being strong for #her. n.. yeah she was healing from stuff then. that's hw. but in stormblood ooh i wrote here that she put her emotions to the side #bottled them. became more serious n i tied that w being a samurai main back in stb w duty stuff help this connects well but it's funny #hesitant in heavensward to trying to do things more on her own in stormblood to.. accepting it all in shadowbringers #shy/quiet was more in hw while being serious/calm was in stb. raghhh i rmb my notes well in 2021 but i'm so afraid to look at like #the stuff i wrote last year 💀 but. oh my this is embarrassing but i do like how i even just dump my thoughts. it's bittersweetly beautiful #maybe i'm trying to accept everything at once or yk putting too much pressure on myself to improve holistically.#like.. i want to write before i grow older than my fav charas yk? n then just think of lots of stuff too n.#be productive. study. n idk just more more more in general but i could be less harsh on myself. yeah

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the-breloominati · 2 years ago

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ignore the messy braeburn on the left I he’s my warm-up i guess. lol

anyway look at my boy!!!!!! the he!!!!!! committer of grand theft gender!!

#oh hey look it my art tag #trying to make him look like a lung here……. so he can fit in better in ak….. I guess……#his name is siaku but I feel like that’s kinda cringe am I being cringe is this cringe #like I just made it up but it’s literally been the name of the character for basically forever and idk if I want to change it lol #anyway he’s been throug so much design-wise!!! i never talk about it lol #iirc he started out as like a dog or a fox-lookin thing? and then he was a horse for the looooongest time #like he was supposed to be my ponysona and he’s only fully a dragon now cause I was fuckin around doodling one time #also he’s only a guy now cause I was drawing him like that once and it stuck?? i guess???#and I always draw him kinda the same but he’s supposed to be a shapeshifter >.>#and part of it’s cause I’m pretty much complete ass at writing characters I think but he’s partly his own guy and partly my fursona #like in a self-insert kinda way. it…. it’s complicated idk #I’ve only made a character ref for him like one I think back in the ponysona days…. so I need to do that at some point!!#cause currently he lives pretty much exclusively in my brain cause I never draw him that much!!!#(partly because I don’t draw as much anymore though ehehe (._. ‘)#another thing is that fullbodies are fucking hard!! as you see him here he has hands not paws or handpaws!!#and I can’t fucking draw hands without putting in fairly significant mental effort!!!#not to mention his fucking feet and toes!! he’s got digitigrade fluffy dragons legs!! idk wtf I’m doing!!!!!#and the big thing is that it’s hard to practice cause i *feel* like what I draw should be good (or in-line with some of my other stuff)#and it’s kinda disheartening when it’s not?? like I *know* i don’t usually draw hands or toes so I shouldn’t be expecting it to be perfect #but the pressure is still there mentally!!!#I’ll get past it eventually though I hope lol #if not I’ll get to practicing hands anyway!! i hope!!

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zee-aka-pretty · 7 months ago

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Oh this. Glad to know that I'm not alone.

I'm technically Gen-Z but I fall into the transitioning period between the two generations, plus I've got two elder sisters who are Millennials, alongside a twin sister.

Both of my elder sisters are now over 30 and married, and still carries a sense of shame.

My twin and I have often discussed how we have to conceal a large part of ourselves to our family 'cause they'll never accept us for who we truly are. Even having a different opinion on politics, like being neutral, causes an argument in the family. They call me a coward and then a know-it-all when I try to explain my reasoning.

Imagine if they gets to know that there's even a slight chance of me being Bi and Genderfluid, while my twin being Ace. We'll be disowned and exorcised. Because all respectable girls must get married at least by the age of 30 and have kids within a year or so of the marriage, or they're a failure. (Actual words I've heard, I'm Not Kidding.)

Also, if you feel sorry for my millennium sisters, don't. They're continuing the cycle of our parents and other elders in the family by trying to drill the same sense of shame and humiliation into me and my twin. I used to look up to them. Not anymore. I hate them. (Hate is a strong word. I strongly dislike and disagree with them.)

There's one thing I'm sure about.

I hate myself more than anything.

you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

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ghastbutlikegay · 14 days ago

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So pissed I cant use a certain sideblog for angry shitposts til I get on pc and block some people who follow it

#i was gonna vague post about something that happened irl in the form of sarcasm #but now im like. fuck dude wtf am i supposed to do now #you guys dont get to hear it either though #oh also dw im not talking about anyone who follows this blog #none of you guys follow me on the other sideblog im talking about

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ocean-pie · 8 months ago

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I know I have said many times that I am life's piñata, but that was NOT an open door for... THIS

Ya saquenme de aquí porfa

#mom your problems are not my fault #could the universe stop giving her reasons to think so???#like wtf am i supposed to do #school's a shit also #not really a big problem though #i just like being a lil dramatic Bitch

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hannahchronism · 11 months ago

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my mom sat across from me earlier today and was like "ten years :/" and i was like. I Know (<- been Aware of this in a physical way since like june). and in retrospect probably i could have (should have?) said something that extended comfort or something but like

i am also doing this for the first time at the same time i don't know what she wants from me. it fucking sucks and i've hated it the whole time, that's all i got.

#she doesn't like it when i go “yeah this fucking sucks” though she likes. for there to be things to do about stuff #and she also always says. i'm not empathetic. even when i ?? like. try to be so i #really genuinely do not know what she wants or what to do like #ten years! it bites!! i'm sorry but also wtf am i supposed to do about it you know?????????

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drowninginthoughts27 · 1 year ago

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Not to vent but I think my biggest fear is failure but I’m also like so set up for it. Self sabotage is all I know.

#like I have so many issues with procrastination #hell as I’m writing this I’m supposed to be doing something that I actually have to do #and like all of the other shit that I keep having to deal with #also puts me at such a fucking disadvantage #I want so badly to succeed #but I’m so worried that I’m not gonna be able to do that #when I do fully absorb in the tasks I have to do though I loose my self anf often have a hard time finding that again #I know life isn’t fair #I learned that at a VERY early age #but I’m still asking myself constant wtf I did to deserve this #like why am I so prone to all these issues #I remember getting told that when I started highschool that I would develope the skills like time management #and then I was told the same thing in collage #but here I am #and I feel like such a failure #and I don’t know what to do about it #because if I’m acting like this I surely can’t do the things I want to do #like I wanna go into fucking law #but I genuinely don’t think I have the ability to because of how badly I self sabotage #ok i’ll shut up now #sorry for the incoherent rant #em rambles #probs gonna delete later

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talkorsomething · 1 year ago

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realizing i am just a weeeeird shape

#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ #binder doesnt do hardly shit #and yet i (finally) looked up wtf this cup size thing everyone seems to know about themselves is for *me* and like...#this should be working? this should be working. ...this should be *working*?!#i really want to at least TRY transtape because APPARENTLY ~le boobs~ are supposed to be of a size that it'll work?!#but i cant stand the thought of having to go to riteade and Be A Customer especially on my own and with hardly any money so like...#pipe dream whatever who cares (i care) (see aforementioned anxiety)#but like whats happening is that all the fat that i guess is supposed to be getting more evenly distributed is evacuating the ribcage area #so i have like. ~le boobs~ (yes referring to them like that is funny to me) and then IMMEDIATE Very Much Less Fat that then #odds out into like. cis dude beer belly kind of shit. like i have to clarify i am Not That Fat #but APPARENTLY i am just Shaped and in the completely wrong way for anything like.... dude.#want to do winterguard this year if i can manage to get the time/money for it #but Good Lord if i have to deal with these things breasting boobily all over the place i am Not going to enjoy myself 1 bit #maybe my sister would get kt tape for me if i gave her money...................... idk when she has to refill her whatevers next though </3 #trans #transmasc #(not Really what i vibe with but i guess its the term nowadays?)

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drunk-poets-society · 1 year ago

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man why is that stupid love song so catchy ugh

#waAtch the sun riIise I DONT CAAAAARE how long it takes as long as I’m with yooou I’ve got a smile on my face SAVE YOUR TEEEEEARS it’ll be #okaAaAaAaay if you’re heeeere wiIiIth me 🤪 so catchy #text #unrelated I might be becoming soft for the guy that introduced me to my current hyperfixation woops welp #it’s been almost a year that’s not supposed to happen 🤨 at least not till the four year mark 🤨🤨#why am I soft for him! why whyyyy is he on my mind constantly these days :/#I love and cherish him as a friend but like. no 😀 wtf #it’s not even like I’m especially attached to him or anything he lives like two states away we’ve met like twice or three times idk but man.#I think of him early in the morning and before going to bed and randomly throughout the day why is that 🤨 should I start gearing up #for falling headfirst and then experiencing the first real heartbreak of my life 🤨 but I don’t want to lose him he’s as precious to me as my #other friends. at least my closest ones how tf does a man manage to do that A MAN #I told my childhood friend about him and she was like this is new 🤨 YOU? being soft for someone? absolutely unheard of #oh well we’ll see #life’s all about collecting experiences innit #even if this does end in the worst heartbreak of my life which will be a first #because even if I ask him out and we hit it off it will at some point end and it’ll end badly plus I can’t do long distance at all #(been there done that didn’t work stopped caring though I feel it was mostly bc I didn’t have any feelings for him anyways but I digress)#ok yeah no it wouldn’t work considering my long term plans…….. but like would it hurt. to try 👉👈 I mean I’ve traveled five hours to see him #before that’s nbd for me but then the whole situation will be messy idk idk #I’ll just refrain from thinking about this too much it’ll solve itself #sigh I hate being human and needing to love and be loved ew #Maybe I will bite the bullet and take the risk what’s the worst that could happen he breaks my heart? I can literally kms so clearly there’s #a winner here. anyways I’ll stop ranting now #personal #delete later

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