#end up pushing myself a bit too much n then it ends w me just putting on a strong facade

[noxtivagus]

i shld sleep oh my god

[nicxl333]

hello

Could you write about bllk boy accidentally hurting their s/o badly.

It's okay if you're too busy. No pressure

BABY YOU SOLD ME A DREAM

characters: isagi yoichi, mikage reo, nagi seishiro, barou shouei, itoshi rin

content: major angst, reader is female coded (wears a dress, heels and makeup), mentions of smut in barou’s part but nothing actually happens (lol), vulgar language

☆彡 ISAGI YOICHI

“you think you know better than me? do me a favour and go find someone else who has the time to put up with your bullshit. ‘cause it won’t be me.”

you lay in your cold, desolate bed for the umpteenth time this week alone, which, considering it was only wednesday showed just how often isagi trained past late hours. as much as you understood his passion to climb to the top, it was simply neglect at this point. to you and to himself. you woke up, he was gone. you went to sleep, he wasn’t beside you.

of course, things were never like this in the beginning. he used to be around, take you out, nurture you and show you devoted love for you each and every time.

until he wasn’t.

once his team reached the quarterfinals of the champions league a while back, he changed. 2 hour training sessions in the evening turned into 4, and the time he spent with you halved as a result. it made you feel lonely and simply put, abandoned.

your texts querying his location and when he was coming home lay unanswered and unopened, probably within the confinement of his phone which lay in his bag during training. so you went to bed alone like you always did, missing what your relationship used to be.

as you stared at the pristine, bare white ceiling you heard a key in the lock of the front door. a few moments passed and the door pushed open, pads of feet resounding in the apartment.

you decided to go meet him in the living room, wanting to know if he’s at least okay.

as you entered the room, you were met with his figure, donned in black sweatpants paired with a black compression shirt. his normal post-training gear. the same gear that never failed to make you melt each and every time. he glanced at you in your nightwear and weary expression, due to him returning back so late.

“hey ‘ichi, how was training?”

“alright.”

you immediately frowned. outside the pitch he was never so curt and void of language. especially with you.

you ventured closer towards him, trying to debunk his guarded persona.

“are you sure? did anything happen to you?” you stepped closer still, till you were right in front of him, immediately noticing his dark circles, even in the dim lighting of the living room from the hallway light. you attempted to give him a hug, shrinking back in disappointment once he shrugged you off.

“i said it was alright. i’m fine, just go back to bed, i’ll join in a bit.”

bullshit. you knew full and well he would just retire to the sofa, watching playbacks of his games to further evaluate his performance. even when he wasn’t working physically he would somehow manage to work himself further mentally.

“yoichi. what’s wrong baby?”

“y/n, i won’t repeat myself again. go to bed.”

you stood there in disbelief. as far as you were concerned, you hadn’t done anything wrong, so it’s quite unbelievable that he would take whatever happened today out on you.

“isagi,” you made sure to use his last name to make aware you weren’t fucking around. “come correct with me please. i haven’t done anything to you and i’m concerned for your well-being. you’ve been going to sleep late, training until ungodly hours. this isn’t good for you and i’m now on the receiving end of your misery, god knows why.”

the tone in the room shifted, isagi, now displaying a scowl across his features at your rebuttal. yes, he was well aware he was maltreating himself, but to have you acknowledge his moment of weakness gave him an displeasing itch of anger that no one could scratch, not even you.

before he could think, the next words that flew out of his mouth changed the status of your relationship, whether he meant to or not.

“you think you know better than me? do me a favour and go find someone else who has the time to put up with your bullshit. ‘cause it won’t be me.”

you instantaneously drew back, his words punching you in the gut and twisting your insides. your heart leapt and fell, never expecting those words, out of isagi’s mouth of all people.

it was deathly silent for a moment, both parties having a staring match. you fought back tears, trying so damn hard to not allow him to see how his words affected you. alas, your emotions got the best of you.

you lightly sniffled, before balling your hands into fists. “you know what yoichi? fuck you, i’m done.”

you turned on your heel and made a beeline towards your shared bedroom, grabbing your biggest duffel and shoving clothes into them, not minding what it was that you picked up. only once isagi was the only individual in the living room did he snap out of his state, realising the weight of his words. he listened to the loud shuffling, registering that he may have just fucked his relationship over for good.

he swiftly followed you, watching you in a frenzy, having just changed into an outfit suitable enough for outside. it was then that he grasped you were serious, and slipped into full panic mode.

“y/n! y/n please baby, i didn’t mean any of that! don’t leave me.” he reached for your arm, falling apart, the same way you did moments before, when you pulled away from his touch. you knew if you succumbed to his pleas you might— might just stay. but you couldn’t. his words resonated within you and made you accept that fact that you needed space at the most, before your relationship delved into something irreparable.

you stood, duffel bag slung on your shoulder, tears running down each cheek, until they conjoined at your chin.

“isagi, i can’t. not right now. not when emotions are running this high. i need space. we should probably talk when we’re both calmed down. i’ll be at meguru’s house so you don’t need to worry about where i am.”

he respected your wishes, he had no choice. if he wanted this relationship to survive he had to.

so he let you go.

☆彡 MIKAGE REO

“you’re very much subpar, do you think i need to keep you around? my name alone will help find me someone better than you.”

one thing about mikage reo that really ticked you off was his obsession over his best friend, nagi. simply put,

he was always there.

when you were chilling together, when you went out, even after date nights he would come to your shared condo, playing video games with your boyfriend until who knows what time in the morning. it always felt like you had to share and fight for reo’s attention, which was pretty much a losing battle considering reo gave nagi as much of his attention to nagi as he did.

you did your best to not voice your concerns to him, withholding your true feelings, that you did. but sometimes there’s just moments where you can’t help but snap.

and that moment came at your first year anniversary dinner with reo. hell, you should’ve called it your first year anniversary dinner with yourself, considering the fucker didn’t even show up.

you had dolled yourself up so nicely, a sexy silk black dress (purchased with your own money, you didn’t like to depend on reo too much) with matching heels. your makeup was done flawlessly and not a hair out of place.

you sat at an expensive table at an expensive restaurant, sipping over-expensive wine while you waited for him to show up. you hadn’t seen him since this morning, due to him training all day today, but you had planned this dinner with him together a month ago, reservations and all, with reminders here and there about the upcoming date.

you had waited for about an hour, taking into consideration that there could be traffic, although you hadn’t experienced any on the way here, thus giving him the benefit of the doubt.

however, when no signs showed of him arriving you turned to a waiter and excused yourself, paying the bill and walking out to collect your car from the valet.

once it was brought to you and you were seated, ready to drive off, the first thing you did was call reo via the bluetooth feature, beyond pissed off.

after a few rings he picked up, the sounds of video game gunfire audible in the background.

“y/n? what’s up? where are you?”

you scoffed incredulously, ignoring the city lights whizzing past you as you drove on the highway.

“what’s up? where am i? reo, do you know what day it is today?”

“no, why?”

you gripped the leather of your steering wheel, your frustration hitting a boiling point. “you cannot be serious. does our one year anniversary ring any bells, huh? the fact that i’ve reminded you, time and time again? you stood me up reo! what could you have possibly been doing that was more important than remembering a big milestone in our relationship?!”

he didn’t even have to answer for you, because the answer came in the form of a “reo, why did you stop? our team just lost.”

nagi seishiro.

if you weren’t angry before, you were absolutely livid now.

“reo, so you mean to tell me that spending time with your friend was more important than remembering your one year anniversary with your girlfriend? do i mean nothing to you?”

“y/n it’s not that deep, we can just reschedule for tomorrow or something.” you could hear his exasperation through the phone. the audacity of him, considering he was completely at fault here.

“not that deep? not that deep?! you let me sit there for over an hour in an upscale restaurant by myself and didn’t even think to worry about where i was! why is it not getting through to you that you missed our anniversary to play games? you see nagi everyday, whether it’s at training or at home. you mean to tell me that you couldn’t bear to not see him for one singular day out of the week?”

there were probably a ton of possibilities and explanations for why he said what he said next, but if you had to choose, it would probably be the fact that nagi could most likely hear the argument over the phone, which lead reo to attempt to regain control over the situation, by any means possible, to not appear weak.

“you’re very much subpar, do you think i need to keep you around? my name alone will help find me someone better than you.”

oh. you see how it is.

his words stunned you into silence, knocking the wind out of you. the only sounds that could be heard was the continuous tapping from reo’s controller and the low hum of your engine as you drove.

“look y/n i’m busy now, so we can talk later when you’re ho-”

you didn’t wanna hear what else he had to say, hanging up the call via the steering wheel and letting out a deep breath you didn’t realise you were holding.

without fail you indicated to turn off the highway, making your way to the nearest hotel. nevermind the fact that you didn’t have any clothes, you simply couldn’t handle seeing reo after the way he just wounded you.

once at the hotel and settled in your room you lay swaddled in the crisp white blankets. without any external eyes being able to see your state you let all walls crumble, tears cascading down in waves as you let all the previous bottled emotions fly free.

unbeknownst to you, your phone lay on the side table, softly vibrating whilst the screen lit up to show a picture of you and reo at a theme park, a call coming though from him.

it lay unanswered.

☆彡 NAGI SEISHIRO

“being in a relationship is a hassle already, i shouldn’t have to deal with you bitching and whining on top of that.”

you awoke to the sounds of rapid gunfire emanating from the living room, sighing to yourself. once again, nagi was devoting himself to a night of endless gaming.

it was a never-ending cycle. when he wasn't gaming, he was training and vice versa. as much as you loved and embraced the fact that nagi was lazy, he could at least make some effort to give you attention every once in a while.

rubbing the sleep away from your eyes you trudged your way through the apartment wearily, before being met with his figure, hunched on the sofa, eyes glued to the screen in front of him.

"sei, when are you coming to bed? i miss you."

"in a bit y/n."

"sei baby you said that last night, and i came back to you passed out on the sofa. the bluelight isn't good for you, especially so late."

he barely was around as it is, but when he was, he either slept, or was parked on the sofa.

it made you feel unappreciated, and majorly unloved. he never made the effort to take you out, tell you that you ever looked pretty or even acknowledge you anymore. to you at this point he was practically a roommate with a shoddy title that really shouldn't apply to the both of you.

"y/n, just leave me alone for now. i'm too tired to get into it with you."

"so you're too tired to argue with me being concerned for your wellbeing, but not too tired to invest your time into games, which ultimately drains your thought processes more? really sei?"

he was still focusing on the tv instead of your words, which ticked you off. so, determined to get his full attention, for once, you walked towards the tv and stood directly in front of it, blocking his vision, arms crossed and frowning.

"what the hell y/n? you made me lose."

"seishiro, can you stop being an ass for just a second and focus on me and what i have to say?”

faced with no way out, he had to oblige, placing the controller down with a heavy sigh, letting you know he was agitated. you couldn’t give a flying fuck though. you’d had enough of being neglected by nagi, and weren’t going to let him off this time.

“you don’t spend time with me anymore. you never take me out, we don’t ever talk to each other anymore. is it so bad for me to want to spend time with my boyfriend? is a game really more important than me? or is being with me detrimental to you in some way?”

he rolled his eyes, sinking back into the soft material of the sofa, irises piercing into yours. you shrunk back at his change in demeanour.

“being in a relationship is a hassle already, i shouldn’t have to deal with you bitching and whining on top of that.”

huh?

“nagi, where is this coming from? what do you mean being in a relationship is a hassl- i’m a hassle?”

he shrugged while rising to his feet, placing a hand behind his head and massaging his neck.

“i said what i said didn’t i? look, i’m going to bed, happy now? i don’t wanna argue with you, you’re too loud when you’re angry.”

you stood in shock, registering his words fully before swallowing and deeply inhaling.

“forget it nagi, i’m leaving. lose my number.”

“leaving to go where?” he watched as you briskly walked to the bedroom, following you in as you changed, grabbing your phone and keys.

“that’s none of your concern anymore. i’m breaking up with you.”

he said nothing as you walked to the front door, leaving with a final slam.

he should’ve stopped you, he really should’ve, for he would come to realise soon enough that allowing you to go,

would be one of the worst decisions he ever made.

☆彡 BAROU SHOUEI

“oi, i didn’t get into a relationship with you just so you can make my life harder. fix up or leave.”

when you asked barou out, you knew damn well what you were signing up for. considering he was so headstrong, particularly when it came to football, there would be moments where he might be nonchalant or absent.

what you didn’t anticipate, would be just how bad he would get.

once his mind was focused on football, specifically climbing his way to the top, there were no distractions, especially from his girlfriend, who at times he deemed his biggest distraction.

you did try to help and aid him every way you could, cooking him meals to eat after late night practices, tending to his injuries he may obtain after over-intensive sessions, cleaning up the apartment flawlessly so he wouldn’t be tempted to do it himself. all you really wanted in return was love.

surely that wasn’t too much to ask for, right?

wrong.

even after 7 months of dating, public outings with attempts to hold his hand resulted in subtle swatting away, instead opting to walk side by side. laying in bed together? don’t expect any cuddles from him. quite laughable actually that you’d ever think he’d be willing to do that. don’t think movie nights will be any different either. you’d better be keeping your hands to yourself.

fucking was a rarity, only really when he was very much pent up with frustration from football, libido overflowing from lack of release. and even then, while you were able to cum, that’s pretty much all there was to it. no making love or anything like that. he wouldn’t display his emotions to you enough in the first place for that to ever happen.

when you asked barou out, you knew damn well what you were signing up for. but you didn’t know it would be this hard. you figured he would loosen up eventually, getting used to at least some form of affection towards you. a little peck on the lips, or a hug from behind every once in a while would be nice.

one day, you simply grew tired. you were sitting on the dining table with him, having just finished dinner. barou stood up, ready to leave the table to shower.

“shouei.”

he stopped in his tracks, pivoting on one heel to turn and face you. his face remained blank, save for his usual signature eyebrow, arched in waiting.

“hm?”

“i-” you suddenly grew self conscious, afraid to voice your concerns to him. if you wanted things to change however, this conversation had to happen sooner rather than later.

“can we do more stuff together?”

his face now contorted into utter confusion, genuinely puzzled by what you were trying to say.

“what do you mean? i do enough with you do i not?”

“no, not that that sho’, i mean more couples stuff. like…couldn’t you just be more affectionate? i just— i don’t know how you feel about me at certain points, you don’t tell me anything as it is.”

he looked at you, playing with your hands, trying to look anywhere but him, clearly uncomfortable about this conversation.

“cmon y/n, you know how it goes already, i’m not into shit like that. i may like you and all, but all that lovey-dovey stuff? that ain’t me. never has and never will be. surely you should understand how i feel about you? the fact that i’ve kept you around this long should say more than enough.”

damn. fucking cold. either way, you weren’t backing down. you stood there, holding a firm staring competition with him before opening your mouth to speak.

“shouei, it’s been 7 months and news flash! it doesn’t. when you do shit like this, it makes me feel fucking inadequate. like i’m not deserving of you. long story short, you make me feel like shit. i’m tired of it sho’.”

“y/n, regardless of how you feel, i told you how i feel, and that ain’t gonna change.”

you couldn’t accept what he was telling you, believing that what you were saying weren’t getting through to his thick skull. his stance was too relaxed for your liking, arms simply crossed over the other, looking slightly bored.

“you’re not getting it shouei!” you raised your voice slightly, not quite shouting, but about two thirds of the way there. “you’re not understan-”

“oi, i didn’t get into a relationship with you just so you can make my life harder. fix up or leave.”

you halted, making sure you heard him correctly. to hear that he basically wouldn’t fight for 7 months worth of memories and time with each other left you in denial that it would be so easy for him to let go.

“excuse me?”

“did i stutter? fix up, or leave. two choices, one answer. it’s up to you but whatever you pick is your business.”

he gave you an out, an out from what you were currently going through. and as much as you did love and care for barou, you’d be a fool not to take it. things would only get worse.

you chose the latter, opting to leave, considering how little value your relationship held to barou. weeks passed, and the items you once held in the apartment decreased, leaving a half completed house, just like your heart.

he continued as normal at first, trying to get used to the newfound ‘freedom’. but as days passed on, the emptiness of the household became more apparent. the meals you used to cook were no more, barou having to take on the tasks himself. his injuries were taken care of in a subpar manner. while he could do it adequately, they weren’t bandaged or plastered as well as you used to do it. yes he would clean, but having it done already when he came back from training and to his standard…made him start to realise just how much you really did for him.

and maybe— maybe you weren’t so bad to have around. you did give him a sense of comfort that he could not achieve on his own, filling him on things that happened during your day gave him a sense of normalcy which alternately gave him that balance from his meticulous life as a quickly rising footballer.

he missed you, he missed what you had,

it’s a pity he realised only when it was too late.

☆彡 ITOSHI RIN

“honestly i don’t understand why i got with you in the first place. you’re so lukewarm it hurts.”

you were both busy. you both knew and understood that. rin was constantly abroad on travels for football and you had your own stuff going on at work, often leaving the office late at night.

when your schedules would occasionally match up and you’d both be home, most of the time it would still be you alone. rin would go off on his own to his usual training ground and work himself to the bone. he wouldn’t even tell you he was leaving, disregarding your worries or concerns that may surface.

you jolted awake randomly, looking to your left to see disturbed duvet covers, but an empty side. yet again. next you turned to your phone, squinting at the light from the screen which temporarily blinded you.

2:34am

you could take a guess or two at where rin was. specifically because you knew he lost his last match abroad and was pissed off about it, meaning double the training he usually did. you threw on some clothes, splashed water on your face and grabbed your car keys to drive to the open football field.

the massive stadium style lights lit up the field, illuminating it in a cool white, as you pulled up next to rin’s car. even from the car park you could hear the discernible sounds of rin’s foot booting a ball repeatedly. once closer, you could see him in his normal training gear, sweating profusely, enough to fill a small bucket.

“rin!”

he stopped, just short of making the next ball his victim, making eye contact with you, not expecting to see you there of all places this late.

he waited until you had crossed the distance between you, and stood in front of him to speak.

“y/n, why are you out here this early? i thought you were sleeping.”

“rin, i should be asking you that. it’s too early to be this active my love. come home please, i’m worried for you.”

all was silent for a moment, the only audible sounds on the pitch being a crow cawing in the distance, and rin’s heavy breathing.

“…i’m fine. just go back home. it’s too early for you to be up.”

you stood, hand on hip, showing your determination to get him to give up, not taking no for an answer.

“rin, you need to sleep. you’re overworking yourself. what happens when you’re fatigued and you leave yourself open for mistakes to happen? it’ll be worse for you in the long run.”

“tch, i wouldn’t expect someone who does office work all day to know the inner workings of an athlete. you don’t understand y/n.”

you sighed exasperatingly at his attempts to disarm you. he could be so stubborn when it was really for his own good.

“rin, i don’t need to be an athlete to understand that this isn’t good for you. anyone with two working brain cells can understand that constant working out and lack of sleep isn’t healthy.”

he rolled his eyes and turned back to the football in front of him.

“fine. whether or not you leave isn’t my problem, but i’m not leaving. stay or go, the outcome is the same either way.”

he took position, aiming and shooting flawlessly at the top left corner of the goal, the ball spinning against the net before falling to the ground.

he grabbed another ball, ready to complete the same procedure before you interrupted him once more.

“rin, just please come home, you can come back tomorrow. just because you lost your match doesn’t mean you should overwork yourself like this.”

this time when he turned back towards you, the tone had shifted. his face immediately darkened, eyes thinning into dark slits, eyebrows forming a crease on his forehead. his teal eyes shot daggers into yours.

“listen. we may be together, but that doesn’t mean you get to talk to me like you know what i’m going through. i’m going to be the best football player out there, and if i need to work double to make that happen, then so. be. it. i don’t need someone like you telling me about what i should or should not be doing.”

you stood in silence, effectively stunned and insulted simultaneously. you couldn’t say anything to counter yourself, rin’s harsh words opening up a side to him you’ve never seen before. that wasn’t the worst of it though.

“honestly i don’t understand why i got with you in the first place. you’re so lukewarm it hurts.”

your heart shattered, face hung in desolation and disheartenment.

after not hearing you argue back for a while he scoffed, walking to the side to collect his training bag. “whatever, i’m leaving now.”

he left you there, standing while the gears turned in your head to make some semblance of his words.

you didn’t even register you were crying until the cold nipped at your cheeks, decreasing the temperature of the liquid against your face. you pulled yourself together, just about enough to shakily make your way back to your car and press the ignition button.

you spent the whole car ride crying your eyes out, before wiping your eyes as you arrived back home. rin’s car was nowhere to be seen.

you walked up to the front door, slotting your key in and twisting your wrist to align with the lock.

pushing the door open, you stepped in to see the lights off and the aura dark.

“rin?”

silence.

“rin, are you there?”

nothing.

you sighed, tossing your keys on the table next to the door, making a beeline to your shared bedroom. it was empty, no signs of life present.

you stripped out of your outside clothes and slipped under the covers,

leaving you to cry yourself to sleep, wondering when it all went wrong.

baby you sold me a dream pt.2

[mustangbby]

AHHH LOVED THE AL HAITHAM FIC SMM but if you dont mind what was going through al haithams head when he realized she left??

-> the house will never be the same again pt. 2

synopsis -> after being incredibly disrespected by your husband, alhaitham, you moved to liyue. what is going through his mind when you leave?

a/n -> AHHH i'm so happy you liked it!!! and i don't mind making a pt. 2 at all sorry this has been sitting here for a while but i hope you enjoy! here is part 1.

warnings -> all hurt no comfort, reader never turns up lol

w/c -> 1.2k

it’s been about a week now, and you’re already settled into liyue. you’ve caught the eye of a bunch of passersby in the city- a sumeru vision wielder living in liyue harbor? 

thankfully, you had the traveler and a kind woman from the qixing named ganyu able to assist you with questions about the city. the first day you got there, she noticed your vision, and asked you all about it. it soon led to the two of you hitting off the start of a friendship in a nice restaurant- with ganyu telling you all of the things to do in liyue, the jobs that can be taken, and how magical the lantern rite especially is. you mentioned to her that you had a passion for the arts, and she immediately helped you look for a side job to make a little bit of mora to pay rent in your nice abode in the middle of the harbor.

“so, were your travels from sumeru alright? i’ve heard trudging through desert is not a very enjoyable experience..” ganyu questioned, a slight grin to be found on her face. “though, i have heard that the city down there is very nice. i would love to visit for myself one day, but with work and adeptal business it makes my days a little tight.”

you nod before replying. “the city is beautiful, especially at night. theres a gorgeous stage down there too, where a young woman named nilou always performs on special events. it’s always been the most majestic part of the city, or at least in my opinion.” 

ganyu lets out a noise of fascination, before giggling a little. “i would love to watch her dance. nilou is a familiar name, some people here strictly go to sumeru just to see her. i bet she’s as wonderful as everyone makes her out to be.” ganyu sighs. ��i wonder if she travels? we have nice performing places here, too.”

you nod. “occasionally. it mostly has to be a big event for her to arrive, though.” you take another bite of your food. “but i bet if i asked her, she’d come out for at least a few days.”

that made ganyu smile once more, before she asked another question. “well, this may be an odd question, but do you have any romantic relationships?” 

“well, that's the reason i decided to move here,” now it is your turn to sigh, making ganyu have a confused look dancing across her face. “my partner and i got into an argument. he wouldn’t stop overworking himself, and i simply just wanted him to come to bed. but he’s so stubborn, and he took his work stress out on me. there was… certainly a lot of name calling.”

ganyus look of confusion immediately switches to an apologetic one. “ah, you made the right choice. that’s no way to treat your spouse.” 

you nod in agreement, before finishing your dish and pushing it slightly out in front of you. 

“well, i’m going to head back to my apartment now. this was very nice, we should do it again sometime!” you smile before standing and putting some money on the table. “here, this should be half. have a good night, ganyu!”

“goodnight to you too, y/n! i’ll see you soon.” 

now, back on alhaithams end..

he hasn’t been home in about a week and a half, due to his work causing his presence nearly 24/7. that pretty much means he hasn’t realized you’ve left yet. 

as he walks home, he doesn’t know how he would approach you. does he pretend the issue doesn’t exist? does he keep ignoring you? does he apologize? he thought his mind would split open.

as he walks through the door, he notices that the house is a little… emptier, from when the two of you lived together. he walked through the whole place, looking into the bathrooms to see your products gone. looking at the laundry room, met with no clothes that are yours hanging from the clothesline. and now, when he went to your bedroom…

your pillowcases have been stripped from the bed, and your pillow thrown into the closet. there were only a stack of two pillows, right in the middle of the bed. now his heart was thumping, and really hard. he looked through the dressers. the left side was barren, leaving only his side full. the thing that brought tears to the mans eyes was seeing your wedding ring on your side of the table. 

so you really left him. he stands there, shocked, unknowing of what to do. does he try to find you, or does he let you go? oh, how he regrets ever talking to you the way he did. if he just took your advice, you would be in bed, waiting for his arrival. likely bringing him into a hug, shaking all his worries and stress away as you whispered questions along about how his day was. 

the next few days felt like someone kept coming over to his desk and stabbing his back with blades like his. he felt so regretful, doing everything he can to stay composed while at the same time trying to find where you’ve gone. dehya won’t give him anything besides “somewhere close to sumeru that’s not sumeru.” that could mean you’ve gone to fontaine, liyue, or monstadt. how would he ever find you?

he’d ask the gaurds, and they all told him you went in the direction of the chasm. getting somewhere, but not close enough. he could walk all that way and come up empty handed. he doesn’t have an exact pinpoint on you yet. 

he’d ask nilou. she’d just shrug and say something along the lines of “i heard what happened, but i do not know fully where they went.” 

he walked the paths of the city, lost deep in thought. everyone thought it was a little out of character for someone such as him to look and feel as lost as he is. as much as people wondered what happened, they kept their mouths shut.

and for the people who noticed your absence, too, they’d ask different people who would likely have knowledge. but alhaitham didn’t know where to go now. he could walk the whole chasm and still not have you turn up. he could check every apartment complex in liyue harbor, and knock on every door on the outskirts. he could sail the seas to inazuma, and walk every separate island to see who may be housing you, or what commission you may have been taken in by. he could fall down the very waterfall that leads an entrance to the enchanting location called enkanomiya. he could go to fontaine, dive under the waters, walk every rocky mountain, and even visit the fortress of meropide. he could fight every monster near the city of monstadt, looking upon every rooftop for signs of your art, blown through the city of wind. but he still wouldn’t find you.

now what he doesn’t know is that you’re in liyue harbor, and nobody frets to tell him that anytime soon. for now, they’re just going to let him suffer, the same way he let you.

[honeylations]

SEO DOAH x FEM!READER

Prompt: Doah studies as hard as she can all the time and luckily as her girlfriend, you’re there to help her take all that stress away

Warnings/Notes: eating 🐱, fingering, sub Doah, g!p reader, pretend the pyramid game itself does not exist so we can be peaceful

A/N: for our cutie patootie Doah and also for that anon that requested :3

It was around 7:45am when you walked into the classroom with your arms stretched out wide, seeing that the whole class was almost present.

But your eyes immediately moved to the front where your cute girlfriend was sitting, already going through one text book as her hand scribbled note after note.

Who would’ve thought you’d date such a cute quiet nerd? She was a big comparison to you. Obnoxiously loud, social, yet laid back with school work.

“Morning baby” you whispered in her ear and kissed her temple.

“Mhm. Good morning” she muttered in return.

Her eyes didn’t even leave the page.

“Wow. At this point, you love that text book more than me” you pouted, breaking Doah’s concentration.

She finally looked at you with her boba eyes, obviously trying to seem angry but anything she does just ended up being cute. “I’m studying”

“Oh really? I couldn’t tell” you joked while she scowled, pulling at your cheek.

“Sometimes I wonder how we ended up being together in the first place”

You winced from the pinch. “Ouch. I was literally asking myself that a few seconds ago. I guess it doesn’t matter, it makes our love story a bit cuter don’t you think?”

“You have a way with words, Choi Y/n” Doah smiled and looked down at her text book again.

You finally took the seat beside her and made a quick move to kiss her cheek before she could dodge it. “Mwuah”

“Stop it, I need to focus”

“Baby, you stress yourself too much! It’s time for a break... Are you even listening to me?”

Your girlfriend hummed.

“Doah baby, I’m serious. You need to remove all that stress before it eats you up” You scolded and the shorter girl removed her gaze from whatever paragraph she was on.

“And how can I magically remove all this stress, Y/n? Hm? Intrigue me”

Taking her words as a challenge, you slid an arm around her waist and pulled her closer that her chair scraped the floor. Doah gasped and her hands immediately went onto your shoulders.

“W-What are you doing?”

“You really wanna know how I can remove that stress? It’s an easy math equation. My mouth plus your body equals no more stress! Tada!

“C-Choi Y/n! We’re in public!” She whisper yelled, looking around to check if any of her classmates had heard.

You gave her your famous charming eyes, the one that made her fall for you from the start. “Please, my love?”

Oh and your charming words too.

“Behave”

You only smirked and leaned your lips close to her ear. “Don’t you miss my tongue, baby? I promise I’ll let you study in peace after”

Doah let out a shaky sigh. “You really promise?”

“Certain”

And just like that, you two were hiding in the teacher’s lounge thanks to Doah’s privileges. All doors were locked and the curtains had all been shut for privacy.

Although you weren’t entirely against the idea of an audience, your girlfriend would definitely burn you alive if any exhibitionism happened.

Doah was in your lap, her glasses had been discarded somewhere and her uniform was unbuttoned. She was releasing adorable moans while you lapped at her neck, being yanked away by the hair just when you were about to bite.

“No marks, Choi”

You couldn’t utter a quick response when she crashed your lips together, her small tongue pushing its way inside. It was an invitation for you to suck at it, letting it explore more of her mouth that the mix of your salivas were dripping down your chins.

It was so hot.

You were already painfully rock hard, the bulge poking at your girlfriend’s clothed entrance.

The shorter girl pulled away, admiring the string of saliva that connected your tongues. She moved off your lap to lie down on the long couch, bringing you with her.

She took her underwear off but every other clothing stayed. “I’m not taking anything else off. You’ve got 10 minutes to make me cum and then we’re out of here”

“Baby. I only need 5 minutes” you let out an arrogant scoff, quickly kissing her lips before shuffling down to rest in between her spread legs.

You pushed her skirt up and felt your mouth water at the sight of her soaked pussy. Not planning on wasting any more time, you leaned your lips towards her clit and sucked on it gently.

Doah’s back automatically arched, her hands going into your hair. “A-Ah!”

You broke away from her clit to move even further down, sliding your long tongue inside her cunt, groaning from her taste.

Your girlfriend’s hips started to gyrate, relishing in the feeling of you eating her out so good.

“O-Oh yes Y/n. So good baby s-so good!”

“Fuck I missed this” you pulled your tongue out to mutter before diving straight back in, wrapping your arms around your girlfriend’s soft thighs to hold her down.

Doah was a moaning mess, one hand was still in your hair while the other had pushed her bra up to toy with her nipples.

“Don’t stop please, baby”

You decided to return your attention to her clit, sucking harsher than before while plunging two fingers inside her wet hole.

You looked up as your ministrations continued and wow it was a sight to see.

Your girlfriend’s head was thrown back and the light that peaked out from the curtains shined a small spotlight on her body. Like she was an angel.

It encouraged you to double your efforts, thrusting your fingers faster, kissing her clit hungrily, intending to leave her in a sobbing mess.

You were almost there anyways.

“Ah, ah, ah….Y/n I’m going to cum!” She squealed cutely.

Your fingers reached deeper, feeling her walls clench around you. Doah released a final cry as she fisted your hair, legs shaking when you continued to clean her up and your fingers moving to a slower pace.

Pulling away from her, you looked up from between her legs and smiled proudly. Doah’s cheeks went redder at the sight of your mouth completely soaked with her cum.

“That felt so good” she sighed and flopped her head back on the couch.

You crawled up and captured her lips in another sloppy kiss, moving to the side to hide in her neck while you started panting. Doah felt movement between you both and she looked down, seeing you jerking your big cock.

“Mmm Doah baby” you whined.

“Keep stroking your cock like that” she whispered, letting you grunt and lick at her skin while you chased your orgasm.

“Hah…hah fuck gonna cum, Doah…”

“Sit up, let me see you”

You did as told and admired your fucked out girlfriend below you. Her tits were exposed and her cunt was still leaking more cum. You scooped up some of that liquid with your fingers and used it as lube, the hand on your cock moving faster.

“H-Holy shit Doah!”

“Here baby. Cum all over me” Your girlfriend husked and pushed her breasts out.

You aimed your cock towards her plump tits and exploded, closing your eyes from the intensity before laying on top of your girlfriend.

She caressed your back gently.

“Thank you, baby” you heard her say.

It was rare for her to call you by nicknames.

“For?” You panted.

“Taking away all the stress. I love you”

[spiderlilyserendipity]

Responsibility 🔞🖤

**Minors DNI! This is content for adults only! To read my SFW works, please see my masterlist.**

Summary: You’ve always had a hard time asking for help when you need it, and it doesn’t seem to get better as time goes by. Luckily for you, Hoseok knows you well enough to know when you need pampering.

Tags: Dom!Hoseok, Sub!Y/N, minimal plot, established relationship, dollification, safe words established, she calls him owner, PRAISE!!!!!, nonverbal sub space, oral (m. recieving), multiple orgasms (f. recieving), breeding kink (I didn't even mean to put it in this fic I swear but I can't fucking stop myself anymore send help), aftercare!!!, light angst (oopsie ✨), fluff at the end.

Warnings: Unprotected sex (don’t do that obviously lol)

W/C: 3970 (3.9K)

A/N: Hello everyone!! Sorry I disappeared once again, I just realized the last time I posted here was in NOVEMBER???? For the amount of BTS x Y/N writing I do it doesn't add up... I have been in a veryyyy big writer’s slump ALTHOUGH I have made some really good progress with a bigger series I hope to get out to you guys soon! These last few weeks have been a bit rough for me, so here is something a bit chiller with my beloved Dom!Hoseok x Y/N.

You’re in one of those moods again where everything feels too much.

It’s not necessarily your fault, but you’ve always had a hard time asking for help when you need it, and it doesn’t seem to get better as time goes by. You’ve known this about yourself for a long time, but you can’t help but get trapped in it. 

It starts for you with a big project at work. You only volunteered to help out because no one else did, and it led to you being given more responsibility than your payroll even calls for. Initially, you tried to back out of it and make excuses, but your boss pushed forward with his own agenda and you never could. Now, you’re stuck doing work that isn’t really even yours without extra pay and with significantly more stress.

You’ve regretted it since the start, but you thought you’d be fine until today. 

Today, you made a small mistake and your boss chewed you out for it in front of everyone. It wasn’t even a big deal, but your boss was in a bad mood to begin with and you just happened to be the person in the line of fire. But that small incident flared up something inside you—a deeply rooted fear of not being good enough.

And now, you find yourself plummeting down a rabbit hole of negative self-talk that really has nothing to do with work or anyone else. It has to do with you. 

“What are you doing spacing out?” Hoseok’s laugh jolts you out of your thoughts. You look away from the TV, where your boyfriend is smiling warmly down at you. “Had a long day at work?”

You purse your lips. You don’t really want to get into it. It’s a bad habit, but you don’t like to drag Hoseok into your negativity. He has enough stress at his own job. “No, just tired.” You lie, getting off the couch.

“Y/N.” Hoseok says your name, wrapping a hand around your wrist. His voice is low, worried. You avoid his eyes. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired.” You lie again, but you know Hoseok can see right through you. Of course he can, after all these years together.

You take a quick shower in the ensuite bathroom of your shared bedroom, then step out and run yourself a bath as a treat after a long day. You smile to yourself at the array of different bath bombs Hoseok keeps stocked for you, picking out one with a candy-like scent for tonight. 

You drop the bath bomb in the water, watching it fizz and turn the water a shimmery baby pink. You step back in, sinking down into the hot water with a sigh. It’s not enough to take away the negative thoughts in your head, but it does take the edge off. 

You’re almost dozing off in the bath when the bathroom door opens. Hoseok steps inside, then closes the door behind him. “That smells so good.” He comments, taking a seat on the closed toilet lid beside you. 

You smile. “Yeah.”

The air is still slightly tense between you. Hoseok watches your face for a moment, then smiles. “This scent is nice, isn’t it? I’m glad I listened to the salesperson.” He asks, rolling up his sleeves. You wonder what he’s doing when he leans in and begins to massage your shoulders. “You’re too tense, though.” He comments under his breath.

You look away. With one small touch, Hoseok breaks down your walls. “Don’t deserve it.” You mumble. 

“Don’t deserve what, sweetheart?” Hoseok asks gently, his thumbs now working into the dips of your collarbone.

You shake your head, feeling overwhelmed. “Everything. Don’t deserve your touch.”

“Is that so?” Hoseok asks in a low, patient voice that sends heat to your core. You know exactly what he’s doing, and although you want it, you can’t let yourself have it. You try to push away, to reach for the tub’s stopper and drain the bath away. But Hoseok stops you with a firm hand over your wrist. “I’m not done yet, sweetheart.” He warns you gently, pushing you back against the tub.

Hoseok’s eyes flicker down to your cleavage, but he doesn’t touch you there yet. He can still see the hesitance in your eyes, the self-doubt that makes you fear submission to him. “It seems like you have a lot of thoughts in your head right now. Would you like me to give you a break, to let me do all the thinking? And you get to relax, just like a pretty little doll?” He purrs, causing you to rub your thighs together. 

In the low light, Hoseok’s eyes glint with satisfaction at the effect his words have on you. “Oh, you would like that. Unfortunately I need to hear a special word before I can do that. Does my pretty girl remember what that word is?”

“Candy.” You murmur. 

Hoseok beams, running a hand through your hair. “Good girl.” He emphasizes, making the fire in your belly burn brighter. “What a gorgeous doll I own.”

You gasp softly as Hoseok’s hands move down to cup your breasts, toying with your nipples. “Owner.” You whisper.

“Yes, doll?” Hoseok replies easily, continuing to rub the now-hard nubs. 

“It’s cold.” You whisper. By now, the hot water has become lukewarm and you’re starting to get chilly. Hoseok hums, leaning in to kiss your breasts. 

“Is that right?” He coos at you. His hands move down your torso, then part your thighs. You whimper as Hoseok plays with your clit, then drags a finger along your entrance. “Hmm…Feels nice and warm here though.” Hoseok makes an expression of fake-confusion, then slides a finger inside. You whine, gripping his forearm with both of your hands. 

Hoseok chuckles, then kisses your forehead. He cups your mound, looking directly at you as he does it. “I don’t think I want to get my clothes wet. Let’s get you up and dressed.”

With that, Hoseok pulls the stopper. You watch the water drain down, until you’re left sitting in the empty tub. Hoseok stands, then puts a hand under your chin, guiding you to stand. His eyes move down your naked body, full of controlled lust. He has you step out of the tub, then picks a towel off the shelf. “So wet.” He chides, taking your hand in his and drying each finger diligently. You watch him as he carefully works his way up your arm, then dries your armpit for you. He repeats the motion on the other side. 

Then, Hoseok pushes your chin up, expecting you to look up. You obey. He dries off your neck, then your collarbones. You whine as he takes his time with your breasts, thumbing at them through the towel. “So, so wet.” Hoseok chides, then pinches one nipple. “This is why pretty things like you are hard work. If owner forgets to take good care of you, you become so messy. Isn’t that right, doll?”

“Yes, owner.” You murmur.

Hoseok lightly guides your chin down, allowing you to look at him again. “But messy girls are fun, too, because then owner has fun cleaning you and setting you straight.” He says, forcing your thighs apart to dry off your inner thighs. You purse your lips as he takes his sweet time drying your thighs and calves. Hoseok smiles up at you as he wipes off your feet. “It’s been so long since I got you a mani-pedi. I should do that, then take you out and get you some outfits. We can stop by a jewellery store, too. TIffany’s? No, maybe Cartier would be better.”

You listen quietly as Hoseok talks to himself, appraising your body as he does. You’re not meant to voice your opinion for things like this—you’re meant to take what he gives you. You let Hoseok turn you around, then begin wiping down your back. It’s mindless, but that’s the point. To submit, to gratefully take what you’re given. But you can’t help the nagging voice in your mind. “Don’t deserve it.” You mumble. Hoseok’s hands pause.

Hoseok scoffs. “How can a doll know what their worth is? What, are you some kind of AI?” He comments, continuing to work at you. 

“Deserve punishment.” You mumble. “I’m bad.”

Hoseok hums as if he agrees, then puts a hand on your ass. You flinch and he notices. “Do you think I’d play with a bad doll?” Hoseok whispers, his voice dangerous in your ear. 

You answer immediately. “No, owner.”

“That’s right!” He says cheerfully, turning you back around. Taking your face in one hand, Hoseok grins at you, but warning flashes in his eyes. “My doll doesn’t get punished. My doll is a good girl who listens and takes what I give her. Has owner been slacking in pampering his doll that she’s forgotten who she belongs to?”

“No, owner.” You repeat. 

Hoseok looks displeased. You feel the urge to cry, hating his displeasure. You want to be good, but you don’t feel good enough!

Hoseok takes your hand and guides you into the ensuite closet. Still naked, you stand with your hands clasped as Hoseok (still fully dressed) opens a bag at the back of the closet, one you’ve never seen before. He pulls out two pieces of lingerie—one is a simple pair of white silk panties, and the other is a white, translucent babydoll with a small white bow in the middle. Without asking if you like it, Hoseok comes over to you and lifts you up onto the island in the closet. He puts the panties on you first, then the top. “So pretty.” He says, then rubs your cheek proudly. You preen at his touch.

Hoseok brings you to the bedroom next, sitting you down in front of your vanity. He hums to himself as he picks up your comb and brushes your hair. He decides to do a French braid tonight, then ties it in place with a little bow hair tie at the bottom. You both know it won’t look like that soon. “Such a pretty thing.” He praises you, eyes boring on you in the mirror. He taps your lips once, and you open your mouth. Hoseok spits in your mouth, then settles a hand on your throat. “Swallow.” He orders, then beams as he feels your throat bob from swallowing.

The dom reaches between your legs again, moving aside your underwear as he slips a finger into you again. By now, you’re much wetter. Hoseok laughs, then holds your face in one hand, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror. You watch your own helpless face as your dom fingers you with amusement on his face. “So weak. Is this all you can take?”

“Owner, owner—” You whimper, putting a hand on Hoseok’s arm as he slips another finger inside. 

“What, now you remember who owns you?” Hoseok asks, reaching down with his free hand to rub at your clit. He laughs at your fucked out face. “Dolls can’t come without permission. You should know that by now, sweetheart.”

“Owner, please, please let me come, please—” You plead.

“Five. Four.” Hoseok counts you down. You bite your lip, trying to hold back. “Three, two, one, now.” 

Your whole body shakes as Hoseok works you through your orgasm. You feel come drip out of you, wetting your panties and the chair underneath you. But you don’t care at all, not with Hoseok murmuring praises in your ear. “What an obedient little cunt, just like I trained you. It’s like you were made to belong to me.”

You whine. Hoseok has you stand up, turning you half-sideways. You look in the mirror as the dom runs his clean hand down your hair gently, then rubs both hands over your hips. You breathe in sharply as you meet Hoseok’s eyes. He smirks, then digs his hands into your asscheeks, slightly spreading you. “What a messy girl. Only took two fingers and you’re all shiny down here.” He laughs, running a finger over your inner thigh, where your pre-come coats the skin. 

“Owner.” You mumble against Hoseok’s collarbone. 

He beams. “Yes, my doll?”

You both know what you want, but you can’t bring yourself to ask for it. It’s not your place to ask him to fuck you, since you’re meant to let him do as he pleases. So instead, you just press yourself in against him, placing your cheek against his collarbone. Hoseok knows what you mean without saying it. He presses a kiss to your hair, then presents his left hand—still covered by your juices—to your mouth and sticks his thumb in. You suck obediently, looking directly at your dom. “Such a useful mouth.” He purrs. You let out a small sound at his praise. Hoseok withdraws his thumb, then switches to give you his index and middle fingers. As you do that, the dom meticulously straightens your hair, ensuring not a hair is out of place. Finally, he gives you his ring and pinky finger to lick. You don’t miss the emerald and diamond ring on his ring finger—ensuring to get your juices out of every crevice around the ring. Hoseok’s jaw tightens at the sight. 

The dom intertwines your hands, then brings you over to the bed. Using his free hand, he pulls back the covers, then guides you under. You watch Hoseok grab the TV remotes and return. You glance at the hard member in Hoseok’s pants as he sits in bed next to you. Knowing what you’re thinking, Hoseok pulls his pants and underwear down in one go—revealing the hard, leaking member. “I wonder if that movie is out yet…” Hoseok says to no one in particular, pretending to be interested in finding some movie. Without saying a word, Hoseok entangles a hand in your hair, guiding you down toward his member under the covers. Your breath sharpens at the feeling of being used to pleasure him as he watches a movie, just a little thing for him to control.

You start to lick from your position at his side, but Hoseok frowns at you. Your eyes widen. Have you done something wrong? “Hmm…” He says, then reaches down and hooks a finger into the hip part of your panties. Using them, he pulls you down so you’re sitting on his calves. He lets go, then returns the hand to your hair. For added effect, he tucks the covers in around you, leaving just your head up for you to suck him off. You whimper, loving the feeling. You’re his toy, his doll. 

You begin sucking Hoseok off, doing your absolute best to please him as you work at him with your mouth and cup his balls with your hands. Hoseok runs a hand through your hair gently, idly, like he’s barely paying attention when you know he couldn’t care less about what’s on screen. Even like this, you know you’re his priority. 

You lick the slit of his member and Hoseok hisses. “Oh, that’s it.” He praises you, tightening the hand in your hair slightly. “What a good girl. So useful.”

You moan, accidentally pressing yourself down against his calf. Hoseok notices immediately. “Is my doll getting restless? Is me playing with your mouth not enough?”

“No, owner. I-I’m grateful.” You protest weakly. 

Hoseok’s eyes glint dangerously. “Yeah? Then why are you rubbing yourself against my leg like a puppy in heat?” He sits you up, bringing you onto his lap. You purse your lips as Hoseok feels how wet you are again with his hand. “Good girls don’t hide their feelings, sweetheart. You know that.”

“Yes, owner.” You say, looking at him through your lashes. 

Hoseok tsks. He slots his thigh between your legs. You sigh as he pushes up against you, loving the feeling of his hot skin against your aching clit. “If it feels good, you need to show me, sweetheart. Now, look at me and show me how good it feels. And don’t look away.” He orders. You swallow. Hoseok settles a hand to the back of your neck, holding you firmly. You slowly begin rubbing yourself against his thigh, looking directly at your dom. Hoseok watches you intently, ignoring the movie playing in the background. The lust in his eyes is illuminated by the changing colours from the screen. 

Your desperation mounts embarrassingly fast with Hoseok watching you rub yourself against him. Knowing that, Hoseok taps your chin, indicating for you to open your mouth. You take his thumb in your mouth, sucking as best as you can but you’re not consistent—the seal you form around his thumb is broken all too often by the moans and sighs you let out. Hoseok smirks at that, knowing you can’t handle it. “Suck properly.” He orders. You swallow, then wrap your lips properly around his thumb. “That’s it. Who’s my good little slut?” Hoseok asks.

You whine, grinding faster. “Is it you?” He teases. “Hmm…I thought my doll knew how to come when I told her though. Let’s see. Come now.”

With a single order, you get your release. Your whole body shakes, and Hoseok pulls you in close. He wraps his arms around you, using one hand to cup the back of your head as you shake from your orgasm. “So obedient. Just like I trained you. I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, thank you.” You chant, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. You’re almost crying at this point, feeling so taken care of and loved. “So grateful. Thank you, owner.”

Hoseok pulls back slightly, cupping your face in both of his hands. He kisses you, slow and passionate. “Can you handle more, baby?”

“Yes, owner.” You answer, feeling soft. Hoseok’s eyes sparkle. He knows that tone of your voice. You’re slipping further and further into your sub space, and it won’t be long until it’s hard for words to come out altogether. But Hoseok knows your body and your limits. He’ll give you exactly what he knows you can take.

“Go get your plug.” He orders. You crawl to the other side of the bed, reaching into the nightstand. Although the two of you have various toys, you know he means the small toy shaped like a teardrop with a little gem at the flared end. You bring it to him, presenting it with both hands. Hoseok takes it, then guides you to lay down. You lay back, feeling loved and safe. Hoseok will take care of you. He always does. Hoseok leans over you. “Show me your colours.” He says, knowing words are starting to slip away from you already. You squeeze Hoseok’s shoulder once to indicate green, twice for yellow, and three times for red. Hoseok kisses your forehead in praise. “What’s your colour right now?”

You squeeze once. “Such a good listener.” He praises you. He checks you’re ready, then slowly slides into you. You pant as he bottoms out, feeling full. 

“O-Owner.” Your voice comes out weak. “P-Please.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Hoseok reassures you. He allows you to wrap your arms around his shoulders, pressing your cheek against his shoulder. “I’ll take good care of you. Fill your womb with my seed.”

You clench around him. “P-Please.” Then, you whine into his ear. “B-Breed me, owner.”

Hoseok growls, planting his hands on either side of your waist. He begins to move slowly, but you know he’s holding himself back for you. “Yeah?” He asks. “Want me to get you pregnant, sweetheart? Take care of you, take responsibility?”

You moan at the idea of being safe and taken care of. For someone who always pushes herself too far, you know deep down you’d love that. And Hoseok knows it, too, even if you don’t know how to ask for it. He knows you. Soon, Hoseok’s thrusts become faster and faster, knowing you’ve adjusted enough for him. Your moans become louder, and the nails you dig into Hoseok’s skin start to leave deeper indents. Soon, you’re arching your back. Hoseok’s own hips start to stutter. He reaches for your hair, tangling a firm hand in it. You sigh happily at his firmness. “Almost there, sweetheart.” Hoseok promises, reaching down to rub your clit. “You can do it, baby. Ready? 3…2…1…Now.”

Your orgasm wracks through you again, making you shake a third time tonight. At the same time, hot seed fills you, making you feel insane with pleasure. Tears slip out of the corners of your eyes, landing on the pillow. Hoseok wipes your cheeks immediately, then pulls you in as he lays on top of you. You feel so safe with him both inside you and on top of you, sandwiched between him and the sheets.

“T-Thank you, thank you.” You repeat, digging your nails into Hoseok’s shoulders. “Thank you, owner. So grateful.”

“You’re welcome, baby.” Hoseok says, smiling at you. He runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back. Even though he doesn’t say it, you see the relief in Hoseok’s eyes as you finally smile sincerely tonight. You lay there for some time and catch your breath. You kiss and hold one another, feeling comfortable. Then, Hoseok slowly slides out of you. You shiver as the seed begins to slip out of you, but Hoseok guides it back in with the plug. You clench around it, feeling pleased. “That’s my girl. So proud of you, sweetheart.”

You lay peacefully as Hoseok gets up, leaving the room momentarily. He returns with a glass of water and two granola bars for you. You’re still quite far into your sub space, so words are a bit difficult for you right now. Knowing that, Hoseok just quietly helps you sit up and feeds you your snack. Once you’re done, he carefully helps you drink the water.

“Should we shower now?” Hoseok asks. You purse your lips, looking down at your intertwined hands. He laughs. “Okay. In twenty minutes then.”

You smile, letting Hoseok pull you back under the covers for some cuddles before shower time. “Sweetheart.” Hoseok says, hooking his chin over your shoulder as he spoons you. You hum. “Remember you don’t need to hide from me, okay? If anything is bothering you, you tell me. I won’t think you’re any less good at your job if you talk to me about it, I promise. And although I know you would never give up your passion, I want you to know you don’t have to work if you don’t want to.”

You blink, craning your head to look at your boyfriend. Hoseok (despite the blush on his face) looks resolute. “I’m not kidding when I say I’ll take responsibility for you. I really can take good care of you.”

You giggle. It feels like a proposal. “I know, Hoseokie.” You mumble, cuddling back against him. You sigh, closing your eyes against the pillow as Hoseok gently rubs a hand over your belly. “I love you.” You whisper.

“I love you too.” Hoseok presses another kiss in your hair. Just then, he glances at the clock. “Okay, twenty minutes over. Let’s go.” He says. You pout, but he just grins at you. “A deal’s a deal, baby. Come on, let me get you cleaned up so I can change the sheets.”

You pout, holding your arms up. Hoseok laughs, tipping his head back. “Actually, I change my mind. I don’t want such a spoiled wife.”

“Too bad.” You mumble with a smile as he scoops you up into his arms like a bride. By now, your headspace has worn off but you feel so soft and content. “You have to take responsibility for me.”

You and Hoseok laugh together as he carries you to the bathroom.

🖤🖤🖤

A/N: Thank you for reading! I'd like to thank the Academy and fucking 2022 Mama red carpet Hoseok for inspiring me to stay up and write this fic when I have work at 8 am (but just look at him AGHHHHHHHHH). Also, requests are open <333

[redroomreflections]

Hotel California | Track 5: Heartbeat Havoc

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha Romanoff, frontwoman of the punk rock band Velvet Rebellion, falls hard for a woman she believes is too good for her. Their intense relationship unfolds in the chaotic world of rock 'n' roll, where they struggle to balance fame, personal demons, and their undeniable passion for each other.

W/c: 6.3k

Chapter 5/12

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Note: it's only up from here

18+ Minors DNI (mature)

Themes: love, fame, sex, drugs

"So, the release went well, but now we need to capitalize on the momentum. What we don't want is for you to disappear after the premiere," You leaned back into your chair, twirling a pen between your fingers as you spoke on the call. Your tone was confident but measured, ensuring there wasn't too much enthusiasm. You knew your client well enough to know this was a serious conversation.

Tanya Lawrence, an early twenties actress who had just starred in a blockbuster film, was on speaker, along with her agent and manager. You were coming up with a game plan to keep her in the spotlight and sustain the momentum—not only to continue promoting the film but to elevate Tanya herself.

Tanya's voice was thoughtful as she replied, “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that. But I don’t want to do the same press rounds everyone else does. I mean, how many times can you sit on a couch and tell the same story?”

You smiled, fully expecting her reluctance. Tanya was always searching for something fresh. It was part of what made her appealing, but also part of the challenge of keeping her relevant without overexposing her.

"I hear you," You said, jotting down a note on your tablet. "The late-night circuit can get a bit tired, but we still need to keep you visible. How about this: we skip the talk shows and go for an exclusive feature with Vogue or Elle? We’ll craft a personal story—something deeper than just promoting the film. We’ll show your evolution from indie darling to blockbuster star. It’s more narrative-driven, more you."

There was a pause, then her manager chimed in, his voice skeptical but intrigued. “How personal are we talking?”

“Not too much," You assured him. "We’re not looking to dig into her private life—just enough to give the audience something to connect with. We’ll focus on her as an actress and philanthropist. Maybe highlight her charity work? The key is controlling the narrative.”

Tanya's voice came through, warmer now. “I love that idea. I’ve been wanting to talk more about the foundation. If we can connect that, it would feel real, not like I’m just selling myself.”

You nodded, already sketching out the potential angles. "Exactly. And we can play it across platforms—get some behind-the-scenes content on social media to drive engagement, maybe even a short Instagram series showing a day in your life. That way, you’re not just doing the standard PR push but building a brand around authenticity.”

The enthusiasm on the other end was palpable now. Tanya's agent was already chiming in with ideas on how to expand the campaign, and her manager was starting to see the vision.

"You’ve always got the best ideas," Tanya said, and you could hear the smile in her voice.

You chuckled. "That’s why you keep me around."

The call wrapped up, and you took a moment to breathe. Another client managed, another fire successfully put out. You were in the zone—this was what you were good at. A notification lit up the screen as you closed your notebook and checked your phone.

"Is Love in the Air? Natasha Romanoff Seen Leaving Concert with New Flame"

Your stomach did a little flip. The photo was grainy and interesting for today’s time, but you knew it was the two of you leaving the concert venue last weekend. It hadn’t taken long for people to start talking, and you weren’t sure how you felt about it all. You tried not to think about the sudden influx of followers you’d gotten or the interest of every possible gossip rag in suddenly taking a deep dive into your life.

As a publicist, you were no stranger to media frenzy, but it was different when you were the story. You’d spent years helping clients navigate this kind of attention, knowing exactly how to spin, deflect, and maintain privacy. But now, as the headlines circled you and Natasha, it felt oddly invasive.

You sighed, locking your phone and rubbing your temples. This wasn’t exactly how you imagined things going with Natasha. A quiet fling, maybe, or just a few months of fun before things inevitably fizzled. But the way her hand had lingered on yours that night, the way she looked at you when she thought no one was watching—something about it felt more... real. And now, the world was catching on.

Focus, y/n, you told yourself, pushing the thought aside. You weren’t going to let this derail your work. Natasha had dealt with the media for years—she could handle it. The question was, could you?

Your office door creaked open, and Monica strolled in, her usual swagger in every step. She leaned casually against the doorframe, crossing her arms with an amused smile.

“You see the headlines?” She asked, eyes twinkling with mischief.

You shot her a look, already knowing where this was headed. “You mean the ones making me sound like some groupie?”

Monica laughed, moving to sit across from you. “Please, Natasha Romanoff’s mystery woman has a much better ring to it. Plus, who says groupies can’t be successful?”

You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at your lips. “I didn’t ask for this attention, Mon.”

“You’re dating a rockstar. What did you expect?” she teased before her tone softened. “But for real, how are you feeling about it?”

You hesitated, twirling the pen in your fingers, not quite sure how to put it into words. “It’s... strange. I’ve always kept my private life private, you know? And now I’m on the front page, just because I went on a date.”

Monica nodded, her expression shifting to something more serious. “It’s a lot. But you’re the queen of handling this kind of thing. You’ve dealt with bigger fires. And Natasha... well, she’s used to it.”

You sighed, leaning back in your chair. “Yeah, but this feels different. It’s one thing to be in control of someone else’s narrative, but when it’s you...”

Monica tilted her head, studying you. “You really like her, don’t you?”

Your heart skipped a beat at the question. You hadn’t even allowed yourself to fully consider that yet. Did you? The two of you were just getting to know each other. It wasn’t supposed to be serious. But the way you smiled at the thought of her, the way your stomach fluttered when her name popped up on your phone—it was all too familiar.

“I don’t know,” you admitted quietly. “It’s moving fast.”

“You fucked didn’t you?” Monica began to grin.

Your eyes widened. “Jesus, Monica." You cursed. You looked back to your office door, the one she'd decided to leave open, and then back to her. She folded her arms knowingly and you sighed.

"Maybe?" You responded with a smirk. "Or... several times? I lost count that night."

"Oh my god!" Monica cackled. "I knew it. I'm so proud of you."

"Proud shouldn't be the word used for that," You shook your head. "Oh, and Sam decided to bring Isabella home early the next morning so they met each other much sooner than I expected. She also introduced herself as my girlfriend."

"Ooh, and how did Sam react?" Monica knew your ex-husband just as well as she knew you.

"He was shocked but also not shocked." You begin. "I just hoped it wasn't something that made Natasha question what we have going on. I mean anyone would be threatened to have the ex just casually standing in the living room."

"Nah, the woman is head over heels," Monica assured. "Besides, Sam's a good guy, and he's not a possessive ex. So, back to the importance, was she good?"

You couldn't help but smirk. "Yes, she was very good."

Monica smiled, nodding approvingly. "Good. Well, I'm happy for you. It's been a while since you've had some good sex, and even longer since you've had a good woman."

"Somehow you and my daughter are the same person just in different fonts," You mused at her words. "You have no idea how much Bella asked about her."

"What can I say, we both have good taste," Monica smiled. "Anyway, back to work. I'll let you enjoy your celebrity-adjacent status. It’s interesting really how you’ve managed to stay so lowkey. I mean Sam is famous, your parents are famous…”

You chuckled. "It's a blessing and a curse. You can't blame them for being overprotective though. They just wanted to protect their daughter and granddaughter from the limelight. It's why I stayed off the radar."

Before she could question it further, there was a slight knock at the door. An unassuming man with a delivery hat and a gorgeous bouquet caught your attention.

"Are you, Y/n?" He asked.

"Yes," You replied, a little surprised. You watched as the man set the vase down, signed for the delivery, and thanked him. Monica watched in interest.

"What's that for?" Monica asked.

"I have no idea," You replied, a little puzzled. You plucked the card from the bouquet and unfolded it, curious. As your eyes skimmed the neat handwriting, your heart skipped a beat.

“Just in case you needed a little brightness in your day. My time with you was amazing, being with you makes everything even better. — N”

You couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips, warmth spreading through your chest. Natasha had a way of being sweet without overdoing it—something that caught you off guard every time.

Monica raised an eyebrow, leaning over to get a glimpse of the card. “Ohhh, so the rockstar is a romantic.”

You laughed softly, tucking the card back into the bouquet. “Apparently. She’s full of surprises.”

Monica grinned, leaning back in her chair. “Girl, you’ve got it bad.”

You tried to ignore the flush that crept up your neck, your eyes drifting back to the bouquet on your desk. Maybe you did.

**********

Natasha wiped the sweat from her forehead, adjusting her grip on the barbell before settling into her seat. The gym was practically empty, just the way she liked it. Wanda was a few feet away, doing leg presses with ease while music pulsed through the space, the rhythm of the beats syncing with the steady clank of weights hitting the floor. Just as Natasha was about to dive into her next rep, her phone buzzed on the bench beside her. She hesitated for a second, but the moment she saw your name flash across the screen, she abandoned the barbell with zero hesitation.

Y/N: Thank you for the flowers 🌸 They’re almost as beautiful as the woman who sent them. Almost.

Natasha smirked as she leaned against the bench, typing back with one hand while the other still held onto the towel slung around her neck.

Natasha: Almost? I must be slipping. I’ll have to step up my game. 😏

She hit send, already imagining the soft laugh she knew you would give at the response. She wasn’t usually one for the whole romantic gesture thing, but with you, it felt... right. You were different, and Natasha could feel herself getting pulled deeper into this thing between you.

Wanda finished her set and glanced over, eyebrow arched as she caught Natasha mid-text. “You’re supposed to be working out, not flirting,” Wanda teased, giving her a knowing look.

Natasha didn’t bother hiding her smile. “Can’t help it. It’s... motivation.”

Wanda chuckled, moving to grab her water bottle. “Yeah? Motivation or distraction?”

Natasha shrugged, her eyes flicking back to her phone as it buzzed again.

Y/n: If this is you slipping, I can’t wait to see you in top form. Maybe tonight?

Natasha’s breath hitched slightly at the invitation, her mind already racing ahead to the possibilities of your date later. She glanced over at Wanda, who was watching her with mild amusement.

Natasha: Tonight, then. I’ll pick you up. Get ready to be impressed. 😉

Wanda raised an eyebrow as she stretched her arms. “You’re really into her, huh?”

Natasha paused, glancing at her friend before nodding. “Yeah, I think I am.”

Wanda smiled, something in her expression softening. She knew how guarded Natasha could be when it came to dating, so it was a relief to see her opening up again.

"Good," Wanda said simply. "I think you two look cute together. She's a breath of fresh air."

"Yeah," Natasha agreed. "She's different."

Wanda's smile grew wider. "You're different with her."

"Different how? I mean you've only seen us together once," Natasha wiped her brow again.

"Just different, a good different. You've got that glow that you used to have when you and Carol were first starting." Wanda pointed out. "You know before shit hit the fan."

"Hmm, maybe. We'll see." Natasha took a swig from her water bottle. "She's cool. She's secure in herself which is a pretty huge deal. It doesn't come across as cocky or anything."

"That's important. Especially in our field." Wanda nodded.

Natasha smiled to herself as she thought about the last time you’d kissed her goodbye. Your lips had tasted like mint toothpaste, your hands gentle and warm against her skin. It was such a simple thing—just a goodbye kiss—but it had stayed with her all day. She couldn’t wait to spend more time with you tonight.

"Well, I’m happy for you," Wanda said, breaking Natasha from her thoughts.

"Thanks," Natasha replied, feeling her cheeks warm as she thought about you again. "I'm... happy too."

It was true. Happy wasn’t a word Natasha often used to describe herself when it came to relationships. Her past romances had always been complicated, intense, and full of drama. It was almost a given that things would eventually blow up—whether it was her fault or the other person’s. But with you? It felt different.

She wanted it to be distinguishable.

For once, Natasha didn’t want a relationship that was marked by chaos or suffocating intensity. She didn’t want someone who would cling to her or become overly dependent, and she didn’t want to lose herself in someone else’s need for attention or validation. She’d been there before—too many times—and it always ended with someone getting hurt, usually her.

But with you, it felt like things could be... simple. Easy, even.

You weren’t trying to force your way into her life or demand all her time. You didn’t seem interested in changing her, and you weren’t fazed by her fame or reputation. If anything, you were the one who kept a distance from the spotlight, which Natasha found both refreshing and grounding. She liked that you had your own life, your own career, and your daughter to focus on. You didn’t need her to complete you.

That’s what Natasha craved—someone who wanted her but didn’t need her in the way that had always made her feel trapped before. She wanted love, yes, but not the kind that suffocated. She just wanted something real, something healthy. She wanted to feel safe and comfortable, the way she already did with you.

For the first time in a long time, Natasha felt like this could work. It was early, sure, but she couldn’t help but hope that maybe this time things would be different. Maybe this time she wouldn’t screw it up.

She glanced at her phone again, re-reading your last message. Her heart did that annoying little flip it had been doing more often these days, and she chuckled to herself.

***********

You stood in front of the mirror, staring at the dress you’d just slipped into, second-guessing yourself for what felt like the tenth time in an hour. It was a deep burgundy, with a flattering neckline, but was it too much? You tugged at the hem, frowning.

“I don’t know about this one,” You muttered, glancing over your shoulder at Monica and Isabella, who were both sitting on your bed, staring at you with varying levels of judgment.

Monica leaned back against the headboard, arms crossed. "It’s cute, but it feels a little... formal."

"Yeah, Mom," Isabella added, making a face. "It’s like you’re going to a wedding."

You sighed dramatically, turning back to the mirror. "Why is this so hard?" you grumbled, tossing your hair over your shoulder. "It’s just a date."

Isabella giggled, swinging her legs back and forth. "Not just any date. It’s Natasha Romanoff!"

Monica snorted. "Right? Rockstar extraordinaire."

You rolled your eyes, walking over to the closet and grabbing another dress off the hanger. "She’s just... Natasha," you said, trying to sound casual, but the butterflies in your stomach betrayed you. The truth was, Natasha wasn’t just any date. She had a way of making you feel both grounded and completely out of control, and that was terrifying.

Monica raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips. "Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that."

You tossed the burgundy dress on the bed and slipped into a simpler black one. “Okay, how about this?” you asked, turning to face them again.

Isabella tilted her head, considering it. “Better,” she said. “But... kind of boring.”

Monica nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it’s cute, but you can do better. You’re going on a date with a rockstar, not attending a PTA meeting."

You huffed, pulling the dress off and tossing it aside, feeling a mix of frustration and nervous energy. "I just... want to look good," you admitted. "Not too overdressed, not too underdressed. Just right."

Monica smiled gently, getting up from the bed and walking over to your closet. "You’re overthinking it," she said, flipping through the hangers. "Natasha likes you, right? So whatever you wear, she’s going to think you look great."

You sighed, sitting down on the bed next to Isabella, who leaned against you, her little arm wrapping around your waist. "You think so?"

"Definitely!" Isabella chirped. "Plus, you always look pretty, Mama."

You kissed the top of her head. "Thanks, baby."

Monica finally pulled out a deep green two-piece pantsuit, simple but elegant, with just the right amount of edge. "What about this one?" she asked, holding it up.

You stared at it for a moment, then nodded slowly. "Yeah... I like that one."

Monica tossed it over to you with a grin. "Perfect. Now go get ready so I can get the scoop later."

You laughed, slipping into the outfit and smoothing the top down over your belly. "You’re not getting any scoop."

"We’ll see about that," Monica teased, winking at Isabella, who giggled.

As you slipped on a pair of heels and checked your reflection one last time, Isabella tugged at your hand. “Mom?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

"Do you like Natasha?" she asked, her voice innocent but curious. "Like... like like her?"

You paused, looking down at your daughter’s wide eyes. Monica raised an eyebrow, waiting for your response. It was a fair question, and one you’d been asking yourself a lot lately.

"I do," You finally said, feeling a little nervous saying it out loud. "I really do."

Isabella smiled. "Good. I think she likes you too."

You chuckled, smoothing a hand over her hair. "Yeah? You think so?"

Isabella nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! I saw the way she looked at you when she came over last time. She was smiling a lot."

Monica smirked from the corner of the room. "Out of the mouths of babes..."

You laughed, trying to ignore the way your heart fluttered at Isabella's words. Was it possible Natasha was already falling for you too?

A knock on the door made you jump, and Isabella squealed, running towards the door. "She's here!"

You took a deep breath, smoothing the front of your shirt and trying to calm your nerves. "Tell her I'll be right there."You called after her.

Isabella was more than happy to answer the door for Natasha. She swung it open with gusto, Bear hot on her tail, as she greeted the woman.

"Hey," Natasha said with a big smile.

"Hi, Natasha," Isabella said with a toothy grin. "Mama's almost ready. You can come in." She leads Natasha over to the living room and sits across from her on the couch. "Before she comes out I want to ask you a few questions."

Natasha was taken aback in an amused sort of way. "Questions?"

"Yup," Isabella said, a serious look on her face. "If my mom makes you mad, are you gonna write a mean song about her?"

Natasha had to hold back her laughter. She loved Isabella's forwardness and honesty. It was refreshing. "No. I don't write songs about people I care about. Plus, I'm not sure your mom could ever make me mad."

"She has her moments," Isabella shrugged. "Another question, Why do you like my mom? Not just for her body or her money or anything. I've been reading a lot of old school magazines lately and I have all of the information."

Natasha bit her lip and cleared her throat. "Uh, well, your mom is very kind and sweet. She's smart, and she has a really good sense of humor."

"And you're not using her for money?"

"Of course not."

Isabella seemed satisfied with her answers. She nodded. "Okay. Good. I like you, Natasha."

"Thanks, kiddo. I like you, too," Natasha chuckled.

"Do you think I could score backstage tickets to your next concert? I promise I'll behave."

"Isabella..."

Isabella rolled her eyes at your stern tone as you rounded the corner. "Fine." She sighed.

"Hey," You said softly, walking up to the pair, a small smile on your lips.

"Wow." Natasha breathed, taking in the sight of you. You looked incredible. "You look... good."

"Thank you so do you," You leaned into her embrace when she stood to kiss you on the cheek. You subtly glanced at her outfit, glad that you'd picked your casual one too. Natasa's dark denim jacket draped effortlessly over a loose white t-shirt. She wore Black skinny jeans, slightly distressed at the knees, and hugged her legs, giving her a subtle edge without trying too hard. Clean white sneakers grounded her look. A simple silver chain glinted at her collarbone, and her hair fell in tousled waves around her face, giving the impression that she hadn’t overthought any of it—yet still managed to look effortlessly striking.

"Thank you," Natasha said.

"You're welcome," You hummed as you pulled back from the hug, the scent of her perfume filling your nose.

"Okay, we'll be fine, Mama." Isabella gave a thumbs up. "Go have fun. Don't stay out too late."

You laughed. "We'll try not to," you promised. "And no ice cream past ten, okay?"

"Okay," Isabella rolled her eyes.

"Don't forget Bear's walk," you added.

"Mama," Isabella whined. "We got this. Go!"

"Alright, alright," You chuckled, turning to Natasha. "Ready?"

"Lead the way," Natasha smiled.

"Have a good time, ladies!" Monica called as the two of you made your way out the door.

Natasha held your hand as the two of you walked to the car, her fingers rubbing your knuckles soothingly.

"So where are we going?" You asked, glancing over at her.

Natasha grinned, squeezing your hand. "It's a surprise."

"Oh, a surprise?"

"Yup," She said. "Wait," She said just before opening the door. You turned to face her questioningly. She leaned forward, pressing her lips gently against yours.

Your heart skipped a beat at the unexpected move, and you let yourself sink into the kiss, savoring the way her lips felt against yours. It was soft and sweet.

"I figured you wouldn't want to do that in front of your daughter," Natasha mumbled awkwardly.

You laughed, resting your hands on her shoulders and pecking her lips again. "That was very thoughtful. Are you really not going to tell me where we are going?"

"I could tell you, but where's the fun in that?" She smiled, opening the car door and ushering you inside. As the car rolled down the busy streets, you found yourself stealing glances at Natasha. The way she carried herself, with a mix of confidence and ease, was enchanting. Her posture was relaxed but commanding, and even the simple act of driving seemed to radiate a kind of effortless cool.

The radio played a mix of tracks that Natasha had curated—a blend of classic rock and some modern hits that seamlessly complemented her edgy style. You could see the genuine enjoyment on her face as she sang along to the lyrics, her voice harmonizing effortlessly with the tunes. It was moments like these that made you appreciate the depth of her passion for music and the way it intertwined with every part of her life.

As the car pulled up to the restaurant, Natasha turned to you with a soft smile. "Hope you like this place. I've been wanting to check it out for a while."

You read the giant side on the outside of the building, The Cooking Institute.

"Cooking classes?" You guessed aloud. Natasha glanced over at you.

"I hope that's okay," She said quickly, suddenly a bit unsure of her plan. "I know it's a little unconventional, but I figured it could be fun. If not, we can just grab a drink somewhere or-"

"Natasha," You cut her off, resting a hand on her knee. "It's perfect."

Her shoulders relaxed, and she gave you a relieved smile. "Great. I'm glad."

You were soon ushered inside by an eager host, who led you to a spacious kitchen, equipped with every cooking appliance imaginable. You expected to see more guests inside of the space but instead only found an instructor.

"Welcome to Cooking Institute," The woman, who appeared to be in her mid-40s, greeted the two of you with a warm smile. "My name is Lisa. We're so excited to have you."

"Is this only for us?" You questioned Natasha.

"I rented it out for the night," She shrugged. "So, we could have some privacy."

You nodded, appreciating the gesture.

Lisa clapped her hands together. "Well, I'll let you two get settled and we can get started." She gave the pair of you a thumbs up and made her exit, leaving the two of you alone in the kitchen.

"So," You glanced over at Natasha. "What's the plan here?"

"Well," She grinned. "We're going to cook some food."

"Gee, I never would have guessed," You teased. "But what kind of food?"

Natasha's eyes twinkled with amusement. She leaned against the counter, her excitement barely contained as she outlined the evening’s menu. "Alright, here’s the plan," she said, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.

"We’re starting with a Classic Wedge Salad—simple, and something I can make with no problem." She paused, savoring the anticipation. "Next up, we’ve got Cheesy Potatoes Au Gratin." Natasha’s smile widened, clearly proud of the menu.

"And then," she continued, "we’re making Oscar-Style Beef Filet. It’s a bit fancy but worth it." She chuckled at the look of awe on your face, clearly pleased with herself. "So, ready to get cooking?"

You nodded, laughing. "This sounds amazing. Let's do it."

As the night progressed, the two of you quickly fell into a comfortable rhythm. It was easy, being around her, and the conversation flowed naturally. The host led you both to your designated cooking station, complete with all the utensils and ingredients needed for the evening’s menu. Natasha's eyes sparkled with anticipation as she glanced around, her enthusiasm contagious. You could see the genuine pleasure on her face, which made you smile even more.

"How do you like your steak?" You asked.

"Medium rare," She said.

You nodded. "Same. This looks so amazing. I can't wait to taste it."

"Me too," Natasha admitted, glancing over at you. "I love a good steak."

You smiled, shaking your head in amusement. "Of course you do."

"What?" She chuckled.

"Nothing," You said. "It's just... you're very cool, Natasha Romanoff."

She grinned, leaning closer to you. "Well, thank you. That's very sweet."

You bit your lip, feeling a blush creeping up your neck.

"See, blushing," Natasha said smugly.

You nudged her, trying to hide your grin. "Stop it."

She smiled, her eyes softening. "Never."

As the meal came together, you were surprised by how much fun you were having. It turned out your cooking ability was light years beyond Nataha's. Which wasn't that surprising. It's not like she had a child to cook for or anything.

"Nope. You've got it all wrong," You said, trying to keep a straight face.

"What?" Natasha looked at you, perplexed.

"The salt, Natasha," You chuckled. "You need a lot more salt."

"Are you sure?" Natasha looked down at her mashed potatoes.

"Yes, I'm sure," You replied, trying not to laugh. "You can't eat those."

"Aw," Natasha frowned.

"It's okay baby," You assured her, patting her shoulder. "I'm here to help."

Natasha grinned. "Okay, Chef."

You smiled, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. "You're cute."

"Thank you," Natasha said.

"Alright, enough messing around," You declared, picking up the wooden spoon. "Let's keep this going." As you both continued to cook, the kitchen became a lively space filled with laughter and playful banter. Natasha's attempts at seasoning and timing were endearing, though they often resulted in humorous mishaps. The contrast between her occasional culinary blunders and your surprisingly deft cooking skills became a running joke.

Often there were times you two forgot Lisa was even there, too wrapped up in each other to notice her. Finally, your meal was finished and you both sat in the dining area to enjoy it.

"Okay, I've got to admit, that was pretty amazing," Natasha said, sipping her wine.

You smiled, savoring the bite of tender beef. "It really was. Thanks for bringing me here."

"You're welcome," Natasha said. "I'm glad you liked it."

You looked up at her, your heart beating a little faster. She was looking at you with such fondness that it made your chest ache. "So, I figured we should get to know each other a little better."

"You mean we don't already know each other well?" She smirked, referring to your night together.

You blushed. "You know what I mean. I mean, the basic stuff. What's your favorite color? Your favorite movie? Things like that."

Natasha nodded, smiling softly. "Sure. My favorite color is blue."

"Like the ocean?" You asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "What about you?"

"Green," You answered. "Like the trees."

"Interesting," she murmured. "Movie?"

"I'm a big fan of romcoms," You confessed.

"Really?" Natasha asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah," You shrugged. "The Proposal. Anything with Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Lopez and I'm sold."

Natasha laughed. "Good to know."

"What about you?" You questioned.

"Well, I'm a sucker for anything with Ryan Gosling." She grinned.

"Good choice," You agreed.

"Favorite food?"

"Anything sweet," She winked.

"I can work with that," You chuckled.

"Favorite TV show?"

"That's a tough one," She paused, thinking. "House."

"Nice," You said.

"Favorite song?"

"Don't you already know?" She arched an eyebrow.

"Yes," You laughed. "But I want to hear you say it."

"Fine," She sighed dramatically. "The Scientist by Coldplay."

"You have a good taste," You mused.

"I think so," She said, winking at you.

"I like The Night We Met," You replied.

"Really?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah," You said. "It's a great song."

"It is," She agreed. "I just didn't think you had a real liking for that particular genre."

"I'm full of surprises," You wiggled your fingers.

Natasha took a sip of her wine. "Clearly."

"Okay, last one," You said. "Favorite band."

"The Beatles," She replied without hesitation.

"Nice," You said.

"They're classics," She shrugged. "Can't go wrong with them."

"That's true," You said. "I think I have a lot more to learn about you, Natasha Romanoff."

She smiled softly. "Same goes for you, Y/N, Y/L/N."

As the two of you finished dinner, the conversation shifted into a more relaxed tone.

"So," You said, leaning back in your seat. "What's next on the agenda?"

"That depends," Natasha replied. "Do you trust me?"

You grinned, your heart skipping a beat. "With my life."

"Well, then, let's get going."

As the night progressed, you found yourself growing more and more intrigued by Natasha. She was intelligent and witty and had a surprisingly dry sense of humor. Her eyes lit up when she spoke about the things she was passionate about, and it was clear she was truly a free spirit. You could see why she had risen to fame so quickly.

***************

The next stop was Echo Park’s Swan Boat line, the sight of the bustling park filled with families and couples enjoying the evening brought a smile to your face. The iconic swan boats bobbed gently on the water, their white feathers illuminated by the soft glow of park lights.

"This is beautiful," You breathed, taking in the sight.

"It is," Natasha agreed, slipping her hand into yours.

"You ready to get out there?" She asked, grinning.

"I'm a little nervous but I'll get over it," You held her hand. You joined the queue, the line stretching a bit as people chatted and waited for their turn on the boats. As you neared the front of the line, you noticed a group of teenagers in front of you. One of them, a lanky teen with a mop of curly hair, kept glancing back at Natasha with a mixture of curiosity and excitement. After a few moments, his eyes widened, and he nudged his friend, whispering loudly, “Hey, isn’t that Natasha Romanoff?”

Natasha caught their gaze and offered a friendly if slightly reserved, smile. She knew being recognized was part of her life, but she also valued moments like these where she could enjoy a quiet, semi-anonymous outing. There was a moment when both of them argued about who would talk to her before they made a choice.

The teen, gathering his courage, turned around and said with a shy grin, “Hi, um, I don’t mean to bother you, but are you Natasha Romanoff?”

Natasha chuckled softly, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Guilty as charged. How are you doing tonight?”

The teen’s friends crowded closer, their excitement palpable. “We’re huge fans! This is so cool,” one of them exclaimed.

"Would you guys mind taking a picture with us?" Another asked, pulling out their phone.

Natasha's smile grew warmer. "Of course not. " She pulled you in close, wrapping an arm around your waist. You tried not to blush as the teens gathered around you, their phones held high.

"On the count of three, smile!" The first teen instructed. You obliged, smiling brightly as the phone flashed.

"Thank you so much," he gushed. "This is so awesome. My friends won't believe this."

Natasha grinned, giving them a wink.

"Are you guys on a date?" One of the teens, a girl with an oversized hoodie and glasses asked.

"Maybe," Natasha's eyes sparkled. "Or maybe it's just a casual hangout between friends."

You laughed, shaking your head. "I can tell you that I'm a fan of hers." You played along.

"Me too!" The girl squealed. "I'm your biggest fan, Ms. Romanoff."

"I'm flattered," Natasha chuckled. "Well, have a good night, everyone." She pulled you toward the front of the line as it was now your turn to ride.

"Thank you, Ms. Romanoff!" The girl called out. "This is the best night ever!"

"Any time," Natasha called back. You couldn't help but smile as the teens began animatedly talking amongst themselves.

"That was nice of you," You murmured.

Natasha's gaze softened. "They were sweet kids. Besides, I don't mind the occasional photo op. It's all part of the job. You ready?"

You looked at the small boat tethered to the dock, a mix of nervousness and excitement fluttering in your chest. "Is it safe?"

Natasha laughed softly. "It's perfectly safe. I promise."

With a deep breath, you nodded. "Alright, let’s do it."

You both climbed into the boat, Natasha taking the oars and maneuvering it gently away from the dock. As the boat drifted into the middle of the pond, the moonlight cast a soft glow over the water, creating a serene and almost magical atmosphere.

The gentle lapping of the water against the boat was soothing, and you glanced at Natasha, who was focused and confident as she rowed. After a few moments, she set the oars aside and leaned back, her gaze meeting yours.

"How are you holding up?" she asked, a teasing smile on her lips.

"Surprisingly well," you replied, your heart racing a little from the adventure. "This is actually kind of thrilling."

"I'm glad," Natasha grinned, reaching for your hand and squeezing it.

You gazed up at the night sky, admiring the twinkling stars and the bright moon. It was a beautiful night, and you were happy to be sharing it with her.

"I know this is a little cheesy," She started, her gaze turning soft. "But I've always loved the idea of a first date."

"I love a good first date," You chuckled. "I think you knocked it out of the park for sure." You said.

"I'm glad," She whispered. "I was hoping you'd like it."

You smiled, your chest tightening with emotion. You felt a connection with Natasha that you couldn't explain.

"So, my girlfriend..." You grinned, alluding to Natasha's introduction of herself to Sam.

"It has a nice ring to it," She laughed aloud. "I saw you fumbling and took the opportunity."

"Thank God for it," You shook your head. "I don't think I would have known what to say."

"You would have figured it out," She assured.

"Not fast enough," You replied. "I want you to be my girlfriend." You said with such confidence Natasha's head whipped over to you.

"Wait, really?" She asked. 

"Really," You nodded.

Natasha smiled, her cheeks flushed with pleasure.

"I was hoping you would," She replied.

"Well, consider me your girlfriend," You declared, feeling your stomach do flips.

Natasha's gaze met yours, and she leaned in, kissing you tenderly. The kiss was soft and sweet, filled with the promise of something more.

"Thank you," She whispered, her breath warm against your skin.

"You're welcome," You murmured, your heart pounding.

You sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, simply enjoying each other's presence.

"So," She finally spoke, her voice quiet. "Where do we go from here?"

"I guess we figure it out together," You replied, your gaze locked on hers.

"I can't wait," She said, her eyes shining.

---> next part

[woozvc]

call you tonight

final (part XIX)

w/c - 1.6k + smau at the end

a/n - and this is it! after so long call you tonight has officially come to an end. I hope the last part of this clears up the eunwoo situation (reading your replies and theories made my day😭😭) and i hope this is an ending you can be satisfied with. thank you so much for all your love and patience on this series. it truly means a lot that you guys stuck around till the end even with my terrible posting schedule 🫶

previous / masterlist

this is it. this is the day.

the event started 20 minutes ago and till now, it's been a success. the auditorium is filled with laughter and dancing, courtesy of jihoons playlists.

you're currently standing at a corner just observing the entire place. a part of you feels at peace that this is finally over, the results will be out today and this is it. a part of you is also shit scared. the past few days have been a rollercoaster.

seungcheols words keep echoing in your head about how you're still important to him and he's changed. you really want to believe him. you really want to give him a-

“hey are you okay?”

you wake out of your trace by jihoons voice.

“yeah I'm fine”

“you seen a bit…distracted” he hands you a cup of lemonade. you take it with a small smile and shrug his comment off. no need to reply when he's right?

“how do you feel, you know, about your performance and all?” you look at him. he shakes his head

“I don't know. all of this feels unreal. I never thought I'd have to perform that too dance but here we are”

“doesn't it scare you?”

“obviously it does, but I find some comfort in it too. maybe it's the fact that a part of me believes taking this chance could end really well. maybe I'll finally let go of my past fears and just let myself be in the moment once.”

“hah.. that sounds nice.”

“yea I guess so. I think whatever happens tonight, I just hope I don't regret it. I want to take that risk”

you open your mouth to reply but you're interrupted by hoshis voice calling jihoon. he gives you a small smile and walks away.

right. regret. don't regret tonight. you decide to leave your spot in the corner when you see hansol walk in. being with a friend is better than being alone.

so jihoon is an amazing dancer. you were mesmerized, truly. his moves are fluid and his body doesn't miss a single beat. obviously hoshi is amazing too. his sharp and timed movements make him look like he was born for the stage.

the song is also amazing. jihoon later revealed it was called “bring it”. you'll definitely tell him to record it and send it to you.

the auditorium is a bit loud now. one hour till new year and the presidential results are about to be announced. you avoided seungcheol all night today. reason? you don't really know.

maybe you know mentally a part of you won't be able to handle his teasing if he wins. it's all friendly of course, but it doesn't change the fact you really, really want to win.

“hey y/n ready for the results?” jeonghan nudges into you and you push him off with an annoyed whine.

“jeonghan I swear if I don't win you'll have to wipe my tears”

“I won't mind that because I'll be winning”

“this is important to you huh?”

“it's my one shot to prove I'm actually good at something, can't fuck this one up”

“you dont have to prove yourself to anyone you know?”

“this is for me. I need this to tell myself I'm better than I think. I'm done always being known as the problem kid. and who knows maybe this will get me some street cred?” he winks and walks back to his group, knowing if he kept speaking, he would say something something sad and make you feel more stressed than you already do. you'd probably scold him for being so self deprecating too. your eyes follow him walking back and

oh.

seungcheol is looking directly at you. his gaze burning deep into you. you look away quickly, taking a deep breath to calm yourself. the music in the room slowly fades out.

“okay ladies and gentlemen are we ready for the most awaited moment of today?” seungkwans voice echos through the room and so does the cheering of the students.

“honestly? I'm not shocked at the result. I'm so proud of everyone who participated and made it this far. just know all of you are amazing and we as the student council and the teachers love your dedication. so first of all here are the names of the people who made it to the finals”

he starts reading off the list. there's your name and eunwoos name. after a few students he announces jeonghans name and….thats it? what?

this is surely a mistake and the entire auditorium feels so. there's chattering and confused looks all around

“ah yes, there's only 9 participants now. choi seungcheol removed his name because of some unavoidable circumstances so we divided all his votes to all the others”

your head shoots in seungcheols direction. you look at him confused and he smiles at you. he motions you to stay where you are for now. this can't be real? he can't just remove his name?

hansol taps your shoulder and tells you to focus on the stage. you look back at the stage, realizing you completely missed seungkwans dramatic speach on how much he waited for the results etc etc.

“and so, svtct, your student council president is…..y/n!”

there's screaming in the auditorium but this place has never felt so quiet. your legs are numb and your hearing is fucked. you…won? you actually did it?

“y/n go to the stage!!” jeonghan pushes you from the crowd towards the stage. you want to say something to him. you want to apologize for winning to him but

he's smiling so wide.

his eyes are genuine. he's genuinely happy you won. “don't worry about me, my favorite cousin’s win is my win” he grabs your hand and takes you to the stage.

seungkwan helps your walk onto the stage where the teachers are standing to give you your certificate and badge. you receive it, saying a small thank you to the teachers presenting and seungkwan hands you the mic

“any words president?”

any words? what the fuck even are words? you stare at the mic then back at seungkwan. you're glad you've been friends with him for so long that even without words, understands and nods at you

“I think our president wants to save the speach for during school hours to not bore us.. well I hope my speach was dramatic enough, wonwoo I'm looking at you. there's 30 minutes till new years so till then…enjoy!” he looks at jihoon to restart the music and when it does, all the eyes on you slowly move away as seungkwan leads you to the teachers.

they all congratulate you and praise you. after a while one teacher asks

“so who's going to be your vice?”

“jeonghan” there's no hesitation in your voice. the teachers seemed shocked, a bit put off too but they don't question it. they tell you good luck and let you go back to the crowd.

you stand near the stage for a bit. letting it all sink in. all these months of work, all the effort and everything worked out. even the banter with seungcheol worked- right. seungcheol.

you run back to try and find him when eunwoo bumps into you.

“hey y/n! congratulations there's no one who deserves it more than you” he gives you a smile and pat on your shoulder.

“thanks eunwoo”

“are you guys busy” you hear seungcheol behind you and immediately turn to him.

“not busy at all man” eunwoo says and walks off, winking at seungcheol while seungcheol just looks at him disgusted.

“I never liked that guy”

“why did you remove your name”

“he's always given me a bad vibe”

“you wanted this so badly”

“and he keeps flirting with-”

“choi seungcheol answer me.”

you cut him off

“answer you? okay fine. first of all don't call me by my full name. I left presidency because frankly I hate the pressure. I never wanted to be captain anyway. I got forced into it because of my grades and extra curriculars.” he takes a pause to look around the room before continuing.

”i realized I was only doing this because it was expected of me. so I left it. I rejoined the track and badminton team. that's what was important to me before and I'm going to continue it now” he says and looks at you. a small smile playing on his lips.

you're speechless. you always knew seungcheol never really liked captaincy but you didn't know till what extent. you feel bad. you feel bad for the all “why aren't you working” and “why did they make you captain” comments you said to him.

“I'm sorry seungcheol”

“for what”

“for everything”

he smiles. you realize that you're seeing his dimples after so long. he's never smiled that much in front of you before. he looks pretty.

“10 seconds guys!” yells seungkwan into the microphone. seungcheol softly takes your hand and says

“y/n, I know you haven't forgiven me”

10

“but I have to say”

8

“I've been thinking a lot”

6

“you're too important to me”

4

“I think I like you, more than friends.”

2

“can you give me a chance?”

“happy new year!” jeonghan comes and hugs you.

you have no idea how this is going to end. you're scared, terrified of this feeling but you won't let this go. you keep your grip on seungcheols hand. slowly the student council joins the hug and the rest of your friends follow. you look around. you're surrounded by people who love you, people who care for you. what could possibly go wrong?

“yeah…I'll take the risk.”

2months later :

taglist 🔖 — (thank you to you all <3)

@minhui896 @lirtha97 @haecien @thefroggybazaar @mayashu @jeonghansshitester @wonwoos-wineparty @huening-kawaii @sp1ng @wonwootakemyheart

@ddokye @thepoopdokyeomtouched @zzenkha @nishloves @weird-bookworm @sana-is-ms-rmty @immabecreepin @amxlia-stars

@peachhiz @punkhazardlaw @lockburn-castle @asyre @luchiet @ocyeanicc @wondering-out-loud @odetoyeonjun @tamcitrus @miriamxsworld @kissesfrmwonwoo @cherr-y-eji @jeoncatsworld @youre-on-your-ownkid @addicsvt @bangantokchy @tacosandbitch @sun-daddy-yoriichi @ckline35 @rakshithanotrao @isabellah29 @mangocustard16 @lone-lone-ranger @gyuguys @writingbarnes @scarlet931 @odxrilove @wonwoobestboyy @wollycobbl3-blr

[angelicsjn]

how'd your yanderes react if their darling is so stressed they become su!c!d@l (either because of them or something else, but please do 'because of them for jae coz i wanna see that todic little shit suffer)?

YOUR SEVEN YANDERES.

A N: I am trying to fly through these old requests, I have about 38 to complete — I deleted loads of requests that were similar to each other so I don't feel swamped and give up, lmao.

A B O U T: You have had enough of them and their ways, but at what cost?

W A R N I N G S: Mentions of suicide, angst, and heavy topics based around mental health such as depression. Read with caution, stay safe, and remember that you are not alone.

— ROMAN BEAUREGARD.

With Roman, it would derive from the fact that he has made you become dependant on him.

When given that space away, for how many weeks or months, you feel at a literal loss. And then that's when it sinks in.

You can't live without him.

You would miss that routine, miss him telling you what to do, who you can't go out with, clothes to wear that makes him look good or to match, you miss the stability of his control.

With him gone, you have nothing but your own mind. But your mind became his, even if you dont realise it.

"I'm struggling, Roman." You say down the phone, voice as shaky as your hands. "I need you."

His heart swells with a mixture of emotions. First, happiness. He likes that you need him. He feels important because of it. But he also feels upset because he wants you there, too. Deep down, he needs you just as much as you need him.

He will have you take over to him, where he will cover himself over you until you feel better — he's never been so attentive in his life.

— LATEN REED.

It would be his constant need of being there.

Everywhere you go, he follows. Everywhere he needs to go, so do you. Every game. Every practice. Every party. Everything.

You have no breathing space, no time to be yourself and alone.

One day, you crack. It drives you to literally insanity.

"Just leave me the fuck alone!" You scream, eyes red and streaming hot angry tears.

He stands there watching you with wide eyes. He doesn't get what he did wrong, he's just trying to be a good boyfriend?

"You're always there. Always. It makes me want to fucking kill myself!" You scream out in a fit of rage.

His heart drops.

He made you want to ... die?

Laten sucks it up and attempts to hold back the tears. He can't let it be known that it affected him that much.

"I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone." And he does.

He doesn't attend parties for a while, and when he does, he looks down. You don't go to practice, he doesnt wait outside of your class until you finish, he stops it all.

He only sees you when you initiate it. He withdraws, and though he doesn't want to end it, he believes that you're done with him.

He's waiting for you to drop the bomb break his heart.

— JAE 'NIKO' LEE.

I'm sorry. But with Jae. It's inevitable.

He's too much to handle, it's bound to happen at some point.

You withdraw socially, you look different, you don't eat, you have pretty much no life because of him.

You fall into a lull of the same shit every day, and at some point, you don't feel like you're even living at all.

You don't even cry anymore. He shouts, you're glazed over and you don't even hear him.

He thinks that he's won until he sees the destruction, and thank God that it wasn't too late.

After the incident, he tries so hard because he realises that you are fragile. You can't handle him. He attempts to be kinder, to keep in touch with his softer side for the sake of you.

But he watches you sometimes and sees nothing there.

— KAIDAN WOLFE.

"Why do you want to die?" He asks you, your diary in his hand.

You panic a little. That's your privacy in his hand. The only bit you had left.

Kaidan cries, so hard, "i can't lose you."

But he doesn't see that's it's him that pushes you towards that mentality.

The constant brain-fucking or his delusions drove you to just wanting to give up. What's the point when he doesnt listen anyway?

He keeps that up even after reading about it in your diary because he doesn't see that the problem lies between you both.

It's always something else. You two are too perfect.

— HAYDEN WEST.

Hayden wouldn't do anything to make you feel this way, so I doubt it applies to him. Anything you want, you have.

So, maybe it's your mental health.

He will Google ways to help. Use his own experiences to make you feel better.

He does all he can to help you be okay, to not feel the way that you have been.

— JOSHUA WHITE.

Just like Hayden, he wouldn't ever do anything to push you in that direction.

When he sees your struggles mentally, he takes extra time with you.

Take baths together, cuddle extra before bed, take more walks together, go to church together, and involve you in the community to belong somewhere kind.

He wants you happy and safe, so he treats you as such, keeping an eye on you and being there to listen when needed.

— BLAKE CROSS.

His life is hectic. Always something going on and that can become a lot, especially if you deal with bad mental health.

Blake may be as forward and vocal as the other yanderes, but he wouldnt ever push you towards doing and thinking of such things.

He cares deeply and knows when to back down with you, unlike others. He couldn't give a shit about others — but you? You're his world.

When he sees that everything is becoming too much, he takes a step back and puts himself into your shoes.

He's never been suicidal. Never wanted to do such things. So he doesnt get it. But he sees the pain that you feel and it kills him.

He will go on a trip with you, somewhere nice to refresh and escape a little. You can focus on each other and ignore the world.

When you're back, he's delicate and asks you what you want to do. Not tell you that you're going to join him.

[jobean12-blog]

Temptations

Pairing: Javier Peña x reader

Word Count: 1,854

Summary: Javi's always busy with work and despite his warnings you can't stay away...you miss him too much.

Author's Note: This is for my Kinktober and one of my favorite kinks- choking...the focus is mostly on the absolute sexiness of this man and his hands in general because clearly I can't stop myself! This is also my first time writing for Javi and I want to thank my sweet love @flordeamatista ❤️❤️for checking it over and making sure I stayed true to the character. Thank you all so much for reading, much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics Thank you Daisy! 🥰

Warnings: sassy and flirty reader, Javi is a bit d-om-ish and pos-sess-iv-e, o-ra-l, f-in-g-er-in-g, ma-s-tu-r-ba-tio-n, softness too, a c-u-rs-e or three, light c-ho-k-in-g, c-o-c-k w-ar-m-in-g

Kinktober Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist (Pedro)

“Javi.”

He looks up from his drink, continuing to twirl the small glass between his fingers.

“Someone here to see you,” Steve says, giving nothing away. 

“Who?” Javi asks, his eyes narrowing.

Steve just raises his eyebrows and cocks his head before walking off, leaving Javi’s office door open.

Javi mutters a curse under his breath before he lifts the drink to his lips and finishes it in one quick sip. He almost chokes on it a second later when you push the door open and saunter in.

“Surprised to see me?” you ask demurely as you slowly shut the door and lock it.

“Angel,” he growls out in warning. “What are you doing here?”

You feign a pout and toy with the tie of your jacket. “Aren’t you happy?”

He abruptly stands from his desk, his chair flying backward and banging into the wall.

You barely have time to react before he’s standing over you, one long finger pointed in your face and his eyes dark.

“I thought I told you not to come here.”

You stand your ground, raising your chin ever so slightly and meeting his gaze. “I haven’t seen you all week.”

You meant it to come out more powerfully, a strong statement, but instead it’s whiny and petulant.

“It’s not safe,” Javi says as he steps closer. “You know what I’m dealing with.”

You reach up to grab the ends of his loose tie, teasingly pulling on the fabric to bring him even closer.

“I made sure no one saw me,” you explain. “Even parked the car far away.”

He stares at you, unmoving, and you close the distance between you, pressing your body to his.

“What do you want?” he asks, placing his hands on his hips even as they twitch to touch you.  

“You.”

“Angel.”

You hold his stare in challenge but he doesn’t relent and steps back to put some distance between you.

“Fine,” you huff. “I’ll leave.”

You turn on your heel and start for the door but before you grab the doorknob he has you in his arms, pressed back to the door with his knee between your legs.

A smile starts to curl your lips and he takes your chin between his fingers.

“You never listen, do you.”

It’s not a question, just a simple statement of the truth and your smile grows.

“And you work too hard,” you state, batting your lashes.

The corner of his mouth lifts into a smirk as he dips his head, brushing his nose along your throat.

“Since you’re here…” he murmurs.

He drags himself away, leaving you panting against the door.

“Take your coat off. Get comfortable.”

With that he turns toward his desk and falls back into the chair.

You stay plastered to the door, carefully sliding the ties of your coat between your fingers.

“Javi,” you sing. “I didn’t come here to watch you work.”

He looks up just as you pull the ties free, the sides of the coat falling open to reveal your mostly bare skin.

“Fuck,” he growls, letting his eyes sweep over you. “You’ve been walking around the office like that this whole time?”

You wave a dismissive hand and shrug the jacket from your shoulders, casually throwing it over the file cabinet.

“Fuck,” he repeats as he gets an unobstructed view of your lingerie set.

“You said that already,” you tease, not moving from the door.

With a wide spread of his legs he leans back in the chair and crooks his finger at you.

Each step you take is slow and calculated, the sway of your hips enticing in every way. You can already see the tightness in his pants and when you reach him and sit on the edge of the desk, you let your eyes drop between his legs.

The pen in his hand creaks under the pressure of his grip as you wait, dragging your gaze up his chest to meet his eyes.

He leans forward, invading your space and reaches up to trace his fingers over the fluttering pulse in your neck. You tilt your head, granting him better access and he smooths his fingers lower, tracing your collarbone.

Goosebumps rise against his touch and you let out a soft sigh.

His hands slide lower, along the swell of your breasts, then he grabs your legs, forcing them to spread open, knees laid back against the edge of his desk.  

“Don’t you dare fucking move,” he says as he stands, slowly sliding his loose tie from his neck.

Your breath hitches but you remain still.

With careful movements he takes each of your wrists in his hand and pulls your arms behind your back, settling your hands just above your ass. You feel him wrap his tie around your wrists and secure it tightly.

When he meets your eyes again he raises a questioning brow. You know he’s checking to make sure you’re comfortable but you can’t resist sassing him anyway.

“Sure you don’t want to use your cuffs?”

He sits back onto the chair with a muttered curse then leans in, inhaling against the skin of your thigh before nuzzling his nose along the silk between your legs.

“This pretty pussy of yours is all I want…to eat, to fuck, to own.”

You moan out his name and your hips roll.  

“And when I tell you to do something…,” he whispers, knowing you’re desperate for his mouth, “I expect you to listen.”

He runs his thumb over the flimsy fabric, relishing in the slickness as your panties grow wetter.

“Javi,” you whine. “Stop teasing.”

“You think I should give you what you want?” he asks, his soft kisses along your inner thighs making them shake.

“You just said my pussy is all you want…”

Your cheekiness makes his eyes flash with intense heat and he rips your panties down your legs, leaving them hanging off one heeled foot. He kisses his way back up your leg, nibbling your thigh and drawing a groan of impatience from your throat.

His hot breath blows over your pussy and you rock your hips in a desperate attempt for more.

He teases you still, his feather light kisses just out of reach.

“Please,” you cry out, even as your expression is one of pained frustration.

“Say it again,” he murmurs.

“Please Javi,” you moan.

His tongue licks a long line through your folds and he immediately closes his lips around your clit, fluttering his tongue over and over.

“Yes Javi, just like that,” you say with a breathy exhale.

He savors all he can before sliding two fingers inside you and watching as you take them, the evidence of how much you love it glistening on his skin.

“So perfect Angel.”

You beg for more and he slides his free hand up to cup the base of your neck, putting enough pressure to let you know you’re his in every way. Your eyes squeeze shut and you choke out his name.

As his tongue works over your clit and he applies just the right amount of pressure to your throat, your walls start to swell and clench around his fingers.

He pulls away and presses his thumb to your clit, rubbing gently until you open your eyes to look at him.

“Tell me Angel. Who do you belong to? Tell me as you come all over my fingers.”

You whisper, your voice nearly raw from your pleading cries. “You…I belong to you Javi.”

He presses his lips to your clit once more and your back arches hard, your breath catching as shudders take over your muscles and your pussy tightens around his fingers.

With softening strokes and lazy kisses he draws out your pleasure and tenderly squeezes your throat.

“Then you better not forget it.”

Stay just like that,” he commands as he withdraws his fingers and stands.

He starts to unbuckle his belt, the leather hanging open as he begins to work on his pants. When his cock is free he swipes his fingers through your soaked pussy, gathering your orgasm and rubbing the sticky slickness along his length.

His free hand finds your throat again and he holds you in place, forced to watch and nothing more.

You struggle against the binds on your wrists, needing to be free as your eyes track his every move.

“Javi. Please. Let me touch you.”

His large hand moves up and down his cock in smooth strokes, pumping hard and fast, the tip bumping your clit and edging you toward overstimulation. Every time you flinch from the touch his smirk grows and his grip on your neck tightens.

“No touching. Not yet,” he rasps.

His thighs shake, tight with impending release. “I’m going to mark you Angel.”

“That’s so hot,” you whimper. “Come on me Javi.”

Your teeth are digging so hard into your bottom lip it’s painful and with three more strokes he grunts, his cum splashing across your pussy and lower stomach.

Spent, he releases your neck as he folds over you, kissing your lips and freeing your wrists. He looks between your bodies, taking in the sight of you covered in his release.

“Fuck Angel, you look perfect.”

Keeping your eyes on him, you dip your finger into the puddle then lift it to your lips, sliding it into your mouth and moaning at the flavor. His cock spasms at the sight before he meets your gaze, his expression sated but still full of burning heat.

Taking some tissues he quickly cleans you up before he sits back in his chair and pats his thigh. You slide off the desk into his arms.

“Aren’t you happy I came to visit?” you whisper into his neck.

He gives you a satisfied hum and wraps you up, gently running his fingers along your throat before his lips find yours again. His kiss is delicate and slow and your hands brush along his chest until you find the open collar of his shirt, dipping your fingers inside to touch his warm skin.

Your hands move higher, over his shoulders to caress his neck and face and you brush the hair from his sweaty forehead before scraping your fingers over his scalp. He murmurs your name, kissing you harder when you shift in his lap and straddle his waist.

“Angel,” he growls as he starts to harden beneath you. “Are you planning on distracting me from work for the rest of the day?”

You smile against his mouth with a roll of your hips, placing soft kisses along his jaw and down his neck, teasing any inch of his skin you can find.

 And without an answer you reach between your bodies and take him in your hand, guiding him slowly inside you.

“FUCK,” he hisses, pulsing and throbbing and stretching you out so good.

His fingers dig into your skin before his hands wander over your body, caressing every curve.

“I won’t stop you from working Javi,” you hum as you get comfortable and lay your head along his shoulder, kissing just below his ear. “Go right ahead.”

@hiddles-rose @blackwidownat2814 @littleseasiren @lorilane33 @pedritosdarling

[noxtivagus]

guys i've been improving a lot lately i'm happy w myself

[bagopucks]

N. Hischier - Soulmates ‘N All That

✄————————————

Nico Hischier x Fem!reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warning(s): None? The word ‘sex’ once?

—————————————

I thought you into my life, woah

Look at my mind, yeah

My feet are aching. I’ve been pacing the floor in my one room apartment for too long. I made this job happen. Photography. For a hockey team. What if I wasn’t any good? What if they decided I was horrible?

They looked at my portfolio, but those were mostly still shots. I had to take moving pictures of these players. I could do it. I had a million pictures of moving objects, but what if I just- what if my skill flew right out the window when it came time to work?

No better place or a time

Look how they align

The team was wonderful from day one. I grew close with Dougie Hamilton fairly quickly. I preferred to call him Dougie Ham. Or DH. He was often around to play jokes on me or ask questions about my camera. He helped the guys warm up to my constant presence.

My career so far has been nothing but amazing. I realized after a few months, that I may have worried myself too much and put too much pressure on myself. Getting photos was incredibly easy. Choosing the best ones was the hard part. And making sure I had equal content of the team. The Captain was alway slipping out of my shots and escaping rooms when I entered. I just assumed he was camera shy.

Universe must have my back

Practices were my favorites. The guys would occasionally stop for photos when I asked, and when they had water breaks. After most, when they were dismissed, I would step onto the ice and snatch a few for some closeup action shots. Still never Nico. It frustrated me.

I did manage a good picture of him once.. the photo that started it all.

Fell from the sky into my lap

I sat patiently on the bench while coaches shouted and instructed the guys around the ice. They were trying new drills, and new line combinations. Everything was going swimmingly, until I heard one of the coaches pipe up.

“Jesper! Get Hischier off the ice.” There was amusement in his tone, and I turned my camera down to the opposite end of the ice to see Lindy holding a skate blade while Jesper helped get Nico over to the bench. I giggled and took a few photos.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find Nico attractive, but I never got close enough to his face to know if he was as pretty as the internet said.

“Good job, bud.” Jesper taunted, reaching over the bench door to unlock and open it. He let Nico off the ice first, and the captain gently pushed him for the teasing.

Jesper stumbled on the ice as his skates slipped out from beneath him. I laughed softly and took a few photos as he grabbed the bench wall to steady himself.

“Damnit, Nico.” He snapped, though it was heartfelt frustration. Jesper stepped up onto the bench and gave his captain a bit harsher of a shove. Usually nothing to bat an eye at, but Nico didn’t have a skate blade on one foot, and I was directly behind him.

He tried to catch his weight on his messed up skate, and before I knew it, I was pulling my camera off my neck and raising my arms to keep it out of his collision course. Instead he landed on my thighs.

“Oh shit- oh dude.” Jesper was scrambling for an apology as mine and Nico’s faces went red. I had no words.. but everything was awkward now. Fix it.

I slowly lowered my camera, my heart fluttering as Nico let out an anxious giggle and forced a thick accented, ‘sorry’ from his lips. I shrugged, pointed the camera at his face, and snapped a few photos.

“If you’d stop running from me, people wouldn’t have to shove you in my direction.” I hinted passively. His cheeks turned as red as his jersey.

“Get up, you’re crushing me.”

And I know you know that you're my soulmate and all that

Nico and I began going on dates after that. By the third week we called it official. During the off season he took me to Switzerland to meet his family. During the holidays we celebrated, sometimes together, sometimes with his team. I was there for any award ceremony or charity event. Even the ones I didn’t have to attend.

We got an apartment together after the first year. The second year we started considering what a future might look like.

“Nico, it’s just a storm. The balcony won’t blow off.” I tried to pry my lover from the window of our apartment, my arms wrapped around his back while he stood there with his hands on his hips. He wasn’t afraid of storms, it was the aftermath that made him nervous. His hometown always experienced floods and landslides after heavy rainfalls like the one New Jersey was experiencing now. He must have never grown out of that fear that something may happen.

“Just a little while longer.. just let me look a little longer,” Nico whispered as I shook my head from behind him. He’d torture his mind all night by that window if I kept giving in to him saying his version of ‘five more minutes.’

“Come have a snack with me.” I pressed a kiss to Nico’s back. “My mom left fudge in the fridge before she left.” I pulled away, my hands sliding from his stomach to his hips before I turned to walk away.

I just entered the threshold of the kitchen when I heard Nico’s heavy steps following behind me. “Fudge?”

I giggled, shaking my head. I opened the fridge and pulled the small Tupperware container out, kicking the door shut before I hopped up onto the counter. I watched Nico approach with curious eyes, brow raised as he reached out to pull the lid off the container. Always in a rush to get to the sweets.

I smacked his hand away, holding the container out of reach. “You can have some, but you have to promise me no more looking out the window.” Nico’s lips pursed as his head tilted to the side, silently and sarcastically asking me if I was serious.

“You haven’t relaxed all night, baby. It’s a storm. Not a hurricane.”

“Fine. I’ll shut the blinds before we go to bed.”

“Absolutely not. You’ll go to bed, and I’ll shut the blinds.” I held my free hand out to him. “Shake on it.” I insisted. Nico’s eyes flickered between my own and my hand before he let out a dramatic sigh, smiling and shaking my hand.

“verlass mich nie,” he whispered as he leaned his side against the counter, his smile widening when I handed him a piece of fudge. Never leave me.

“I don’t know what you said,” I whispered, matching his dreamy tone with a sarcastic one in my own voice.

My whole life got me ready for you, ooh

Nico proposed to me a month later, and we prepped for our wedding for a year. We were coming up on five months from the set date. I showed my ring off to everybody. He showed the video off to his team.

“Do you have a house yet?” My mother asked me as we sifted through dresses at a bridal shop.

“No. Nico and I plan to spend one more year in our apartment after we’re married.” My mother looked perplexed, and I could understand why. We’d have all of this new stuff from gifts people gave us, and no place to put it all.

“Why?”

“Because the team is really good this year. Nico doesn’t want me moving into some new house all alone if he’s in the playoffs.” I completely agreed with Nico. When we got a house, I wanted to move in with him. We hadn’t necessarily agreed to a year, but that was the longest we were willing to wait before buying a home, so it’s what we told everybody.

“What about this one?” My mom pulled a dress out. My heart was set on it the second I tried it on.

Got me happy, happy

I'ma be happy, happy, yeah

“Nico.. I love you. I have every second of every day, since the day you fell into me,” I whispered my vows over and over under my breath as I looked in the mirror. The wedding didn’t have to be perfect. Everything could be on fire and complete chaos around me. As long as my vows were spotless, I would be content.

The week before the wedding, Nico had kicked me out of our apartment for a few hours, telling me to go shopping or ask one of the wags out for dinner. He wouldn’t tell me why at first, but after much questioning, he informed me that he had to record his vows. Not everybody in his family spoke English, so he told me he had to record it in the language they would understand. I reasoned that I wouldn’t know a word he spoke anyway, but he insisted that if I still heard his vows, it wouldn’t feel right when he spoke them again at the altar.

This was the same guy who always tried to sneak a peek at my notebook full of ideas for my own vows. I had to make him promise not to look at the notebook two days into his mischief.

“I hope he’s going to be happy with them.” I picked up the skirt of my dress to walk across the room I got ready in, staring myself down in the full length mirror.

“Sweetie..” my best friend smiled. “He’s never disliked a single thing you’ve ever done.”

Won't get no crying from me, yeah

Gonna be happy, happy

I walked down the isle, my hands shaking and my eyes already tearing up at the sight of my fiancé. I had no regrets. I will never have regrets when it comes to Nico. This was the man I wanted to spend my life with.

“…And I understand, you’ve prepared your own vows?” The priest questioned, looking between us. I nodded, my eyes searching Nico’s face as a silent question. Who was going first.

“You.. you go.” I could tell he was nervous as he spoke, but I’d argue I was more worried than he was. He encouraged me with a smile.

“Okay..” I breathed out a sigh. I loved him. Every word would roll off my tongue the way it was supposed to whether it happened like I rehearsed or not.

“Nico… I love you. I have every second of every day, since the day you fell into me. In the next few minutes, a new commitment is going to be made. I’ve made many in my life, and you’ve made your own. I’ve been known to abandon my commitments. There are some things I simply can’t stick with. But every commitment I’ve ever made with you, I have seen through. You have stood by me through my hardest days and my coldest nights. Fights I’ve instigated, and tears I’ve cried. We have shared our everything. Clothes, songs, foods and movies. A home. Now we share our lives. Our entire beings, with one another. You are the foundation I stand on, and the anchor that holds me to the ground when I fear I might fly away. I hope I have been the same for you. And I hope I can keep being the same.. for the rest of eternity.” Tears stung my eyes. I could see Nico fighting to keep his own from going glassy. “Ich liebe dich.”

Surprise flashed in Nico’s eyes. I hadn’t told him I was practicing any German for this. And despite it being a short sentence, it was one I knew he wished I would reply to in his first language at least once.

“Sir?” The priest interrupted our silence. Nico nodded, pulling his hands away from my own to grab a few notecards from his back pocket.

“I hope you don’t mind I wrote them down? I was.. I was afraid I might forget a word.” Nico searched for a sign of disapproval in my features. His nervousness only made me giggle and shake my head.

“You’re fine.. I’ll still love you.. notecards or not.” It was his turn to chuckle, stepping a bit closer to me as I reached out to rest my hands on his forearms. Nico drew in a shaky breath, tears already forming in his eyes again. “Take your time, baby.” I whispered, my heart swelling. Nico was only an emotional man in front of certain people. But even on his wedding day, he couldn’t hold his usual facade.

“I used to avoid you.. when you came to work for the Devils. When I first saw you I thought you were.. just the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. You made me nervous.. your camera made me nervous.” Nico smiled, glancing up at me. “I used to think that if you took too many pictures you might see too many imperfections. Instead I stand here now, knowing that you’ve seen me at my worst and my best. When my hair has been too long,” this earns a few giggled laughs from our guests. “And when it’s been too short.” This time it’s Jack who laughs. The exact person who is to blame for Nico’s hair being ‘too short’ at one point. “You have always opened every door to me in a time of need. Especially the bathroom door when you’re doing your skincare stuff.” I laughed softly.

Taking my makeup off at the end of the day took enough time in and of itself, but then my skincare routine added to that amount. I usually left the door closed for a bit of privacy and space, but there was the occasional times when Nico would start knocking on the door begging to be let in because he had to go to the bathroom.

“But the doors I am most grateful for being opened, have been the ones in your mind, and your heart. You allowed me to love you.. and you trusted me with every piece of yourself. You’ve given me a chance to prove my worth, and to love something more than anything else I have. I would build castles for you, and tear down any wall in your way just to see you smile. We may grow old together, but we will never grow apart. I will love you until my heart no longer beats, and my body is six feet under. And after that, whatever may be in that distant afterlife, I will love you again, and again, and again.” Nico sniffled, by now I had tears running down my cheeks.

“du bist mein Seelenverwandter,” Nico finished with words I did not recognize, but he translated for me, without putting up his usual cheeky fight. “You are my soulmate.”

After the ‘I do’s’ were exchanged, and rings were put on fingers, Nico and I shared our first kiss as a married couple. Neither of us could rightfully express the feelings in our hearts, but we knew we’d simply squeeze the life out of one another if we hugged. It was that ‘it’s so fluffy I’m gonna die’ kind of feeling. A soulful, vast, and intense kind of love.

Imma be happy, happy

“Lord, Nic.” I giggled as we sat at a table near the front of the reception hall. We were the center of attention, but it didn’t feel like it. My bridal party and his groomsmen were off doing their own thing, and the rest of our friends and families were all conversing over food. Which was what Nico and I had been doing, until he got up to grab a plate full of my mother’s fudge.

“If you get sick tonight, we can’t have sex.” I informed him, reaching out to gently squeeze his leg. “Slow down.” Nico gave me a cautious look before resting his hand atop my own. His fingers found my engagement ring and my wedding band.

“When you said, ‘I love you’ today…” Nico’s brow furrowed in thought.

“I learned it for you. I wanted to do more, but my schedule was too busy for classes.” I smiled at him, his eyes finding my own.

“I’m content if ‘I love you’ is all you ever know.” Nico flashed me a bright smile. “Now please eat this fudge with me.. I did get too much, and I really don’t want it to go to waste.”

I laughed and shook my head at him. “Nic, I’m in a white dress. Go give it to Jack and the kids.” I nodded toward the middle Hughes brother, seated at a table full of kids and entertaining them with paper footballs.

“I won’t be gone long,” Nico promised, quickly standing up and grabbing the small dish. He pressed a kiss to my head before going to sugar up the children.

Imma be happy, happy

I leaned back in my seat, smiling as I observed the jovial atmosphere around myself. I looked back down at my ring, shaking my head in disbelief. Committing to Nico was single-handedly the best decision I’ve ever made. I will never make a better one.

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

[filmbyjy]

hi its me, the one who asked u for the exam prep fic w jay.

i want some angst. Its because im going through that rn. HE FELL FIRST BUT SHE FELL HARDER, where jay gives up on their "friendship" because the reader was too busy denying her feelings for him. (u can end it w some fluff if u want heh) Doesnt necessarily havw to be with jay btw any member from enhypen u think fits best for this works.

its alright if u dont want to!!

a/n: oh hi anon☺️ oh my god but this request phew😮‍💨 prepare the tissues bc I feel like i’m gonna make this too angsty. of course, i’m gonna end it off on a good note. my heart can’t handle not getting a happy ending.

pairing: park jongseong x fem!reader

genre: angst but fluff towards the end

warning: talks about cutting/self-harm and depression (do proceed with caution). mentions of dead parents. I believe I made this too angsty so i am sorry. you do end up with jay though so that’s the good part. i did also change up a bit bc i believe that i have triggered someone with jake like ‘slut-shaming’ you. i am so sorry for that part.

word count: 1.5K words

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

our friendship

10 years of friendship.

down the drain just like that. all because of your selfishness. you couldn’t forget the way jay’s hands trembled as he voices out his feelings.

you felt like the villain for not believing him. denying your own feelings for him. you couldn’t love him. it was impossible, not when jay was for someone else. you couldn’t provide him with the affection he deserves. you were a broken record.

“why did you hurt him?” sunghoon asks.

— placing this in case the read more messes up —

“i didn’t mean to.” you nonchalantly say. the boy sighs.

“i know you didn’t mean to but I know you’re just hurting yourself too.”

“i’m not hurting myself.”

“when was the last time you ate properly?”

you kept quiet. jay usually made sure you ate on time, even if you didn’t have enough money, he made sure to buy you a meal. your life wasn’t the best. your dad did drugs and was absent most of your life. your mom ran off with a foreigner. you were left alone to fend for yourself. no family member to care for you. you matured quicker than most kids because of that.

sunghoon places a carton of milk. your favourite. one that jay usually buys for you.

“take this. you haven’t had lunch.”

“it’s alright. I don’t like this flavour.” you lied.

“that’s a lie. both jake and I have seen you happily drinking it after jay places it on your desk.”

“well, i stopped liking it.”

“after jay left.”

“well, he left for a reason.”

“because he was heartbroken.”

“his mom wanted him to study in america. that’s his real reason.”

“he would’ve stayed for you, (name).”

“i don’t want to hold him back, sunghoon.” you glared at the boy. sunghoon sighs.

“you aren’t holding him back, he just loves you.”

“well, i don’t love him!”

“stop being in denial. you love him just much as he loves you. actually no, you love him way more than he could love you.”

“you’re bullshitting, sunghoon.”

“you’re going to regret saying this (name).”

you left sunghoon. you didn’t want to hear what he was saying because if you stopped denying, you’d hurt yourself. falling in love with your best friend was something scary. falling hard for your best friend was the worst.

it had been years since you graduated from high school. you haven’t heard much from sunghoon, jake or even jay. you had fell out of that friendship ever since the talk. for some odd reason, your old classmates had organised this get together since it had been a while. you were not preparing yourself to meet your friends from high school.

“(name).” heeseung yells out. you gave him a little smile.

“class president.” you say. he chuckles.

“it was for 1 term, (name).”

“you were still our class president.”

“the best one.” jake slings his arm around heeseung. heeseung groans as he attempts to push jake’s arms off.

“it’s been a while, (name).” jake says. his voice laces with venom which wasn’t how he was normally and how he was back then. you nearly wince at how his tone sounded.

you could feel a shiver creep up and you were actually scared of jake.

“uh, yes. i-it’s been a while.” you say. afraid of saying something wrong to get jake angry. honestly, he had a very good reason to get mad at you. you hurt jay. one of the first few people jake cared about.

after you hurt jay, jake had followed jay to America. where they both continued their studies to together. sunghoon visited them and eventually moved there a little to spend time and possibly study there too. eventually, all of them moved back here to continue college since they missed Seoul.

seeing jake in a long while, you realised you missed him and the friendship the both of you had. jake was sort of like a brother to you. he was the closest to you but of course he clearly chose jay. you wanted to walk away but jake grabs on your wrist. heeseung leaves, he could feel the heavy tension.

“I see you’re happy with how your life turned out.”

“what?”

“cut that bullshit. iseul told us. you go to parties and have fun as if you didn’t do anything wrong! it’s disgusting, after you hurt your own best friend’s feelings?”

“jaeyun-”

“don’t call me that. we aren’t friends anymore.”

it fell silent between the both of you, the sound of EDM playing in the background. tears prickling at your eyes. someone comes to pull jake off you. you knew that familiar cologne.

“jake, you shouldn’t fight here. just leave her alone.” jay says.

“she hurt you, jay. how could you just ignore that? she’s been living her life happily while you cried everyday back in America.”

“don’t.” jake shoves jay’s arm and walks away. jay turns to you. he attempts to touch your wrist but you moved back.

“(name).” the way he says your name was perfect. it felt right but you shouldn’t.

you shook your head. tears falling down.

“jay, please.”

his eyes caught sight of slashing marks. they seem pretty recent. he knows you were never one to harm yourself but what exactly happened?

you left the place that day. it was when you started to really close off. you see, after jay left. a whole series of bad luck just dumped onto you. your dad got into car accident and died on impact. your mom was diagnosed with cancer and she died months later. you were left alone having to work hard to earn your own money.

you could feel the burden of living alone just pile over you and you couldn’t take it anymore. everything was overwhelming. too overwhelming. even the feeling of pain wasn’t as immense as the burden you felt. which was why you started self-harming yourself. you loved the feeling of the blade cutting your skin, it was numbing.

“(name), could you please tell me the answer?” the lecturer asks as you were daydreaming. you easily answered and the lecturer hums.

the bell rings soon after and students start pouring out of the class. you tugged onto your hoodie arms, hoping the hide the latest cut. it was itchy and it started bleeding again when you went to pick on it. you simply placed a bandaid over it.

you were packing your things when you felt a tap on your shoulder. you looked up.

“hi.” sunghoon says. you looked away, you couldn’t let him see you like this. you shouldn’t associate yourself with your old friend group. you walked away quick but sunghoon was fast. curse his long legs.

“(name).” he stops you and pulls back your hood. that’s when he realises the bloodshot look you had. he gasps a little.

“what happened to you?”

“didn’t sleep.”

“you look like you got hit by a truck.” he winced.

“maybe I did. what’s your problem?”

“look about what happened that day with jake at the reunion…”

“I forgive him. I deserve it after all.” you walked away but sunghoon tries to catch up to you.

“yeah but that doesn’t account for what he did to you.”

“he didn’t punch me. he just talked to me.”

“(name).”

“please, sunghoon. i don’t want to live in a world with guilt. I’ve already hurt jay enough and I don’t want to hurt jake too.”

“yeah but like I’ve said a long time ago. you’re hurting yourself too. I heard that you rarely ever go out besides actually spending time in school. you’ve gone from a social butterfly to an introvert.”

“what’s wrong with being an introvert.”

“it’s just not who you are (name).”

“so what if I am not who I was. people change sunghoon. i think it’s best if I stayed away from jay. we should have never cross paths.”

“but you like him.”

“yeah, I do. what will happen? hmm? jay doesn’t like me anymore, I know it. he’s probably already dating someone hot. someone that suits him. someone who isn’t me.”

“you are someone that suits me, (name).” jay voices out. you shook your head and turned around to jay.

“I am not right for you. you wouldn’t want an emotionally and mentally broken girl. I already lost my parents, I don’t want to lose anything anymore.”

“your parents are gone?”

“they’re dead. it’s been a year or two. after i graduated from high school…”

“(name).”

“jay, i’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my feelings but it’s too late. i am too broken.”

“you know I wouldn’t care if you’re too broken. I would’ve held you tight and cared for you.”

“jay, I just think we were on different levels. you were someone popular, smart and good looking. i’m just whatever this is.”

“I never cared about the stereotype. I loved you for who you were.”

“love is a strong word to describe how you’re feel about me.” you say. jay holds you close.

“but I do love you.”

“you wouldn’t understand, how much I feel for you.”

“then show me.”

“I can’t. not in public, where sunghoon and jake are staring at us.”

jake rolls his eyes, “go ahead and kiss. this idiot has been rooting for the both of you since high school.” he smacks sunghoon.

“what’s so wrong for hoping they’d get together. I thought they fit each other.” sunghoon glares at jake.

jay pecks your forehead, “we’ll take this slow until you feel better, hmm?”

and he did make you feel better.

[mvchmp]

Clark with a Street Racer Reader please 🙏🏼 I adore dork x delinquent trope

Clark Kent x Street Racer reader

| gender of reader isn't mentioned, 2 mentions of Y/n

- ending is kinda rushed bc ididnt know how to end it im sorry if reader wasnt delinquent enough 🙏

USE YOUR SEATBELTS PEOPLE

I had just finished dropping off my friend at her house after a long day of catching up. I had brought her to watch one of my races before ending the day. 

It was now around 8pm and since there were only a few cars on the road, I decided to drive around for a bit. 

Nights like these were happening often thanks to the safety that Superman assured. The alleys looked much safer now, and walking around in sidewalks seemed more peaceful than scary. 

Driving past the Daily Planet building wasn't all that unusual to me than it was when I had just moved to Metropolis. It's on a route I usually use to go to the races I secretly attend so I had pretty much gotten used to seeing it.

Tonight was one of those times I went that route. Though I'm already used to seeing it, I found it a habit to look over and at least glance at the building. 

Yet, this time, instead of the numerous workers checking out of the premises, one man stood there. Clark Kent. The big guy with the cute glasses. 

We had met a few times, occasionally in the elevator where he'd sometimes press the buttons too hard. Or in the hallways when he's bringing groceries inside their apartment. We'd throw some greetings like "Hello" and "Hey" in those small encounters, asking what's up sometimes.

Him and his friend Jimmy who lived with him had mentioned they were interning at the Daily Planet recently - which explained why we had been meeting more often in the morning. Though, normally Jimmy would be beside Clark. Every time they went to work, and every time they got back.

Tonight, he was alone, exiting the building. As a friend, though I don't think friends find each other that attractive, I slowed down my speed and halted in front of the guy.

"Hey, Clark! Where's Jimmy?" I ask as I roll down my window, revealing my face.  "Oh, he got sick so he had to go home early. Probably something he ate." He said, rubbing the back of his neck, smiling a bit. 

"That sounds horrible. I hope he gets better soon, I'm not used to seeing you alone, you know?" I chuckle softly before continuing, "Were you about to head home? I am so maybe I can give you a ride?" I offered, keeping a hand on the steering wheel.

Surely enough, I was a bit nervous because of the thought that I'd have to drive home alone feeling rejected by my handsome, cute but hunky neighbor. But thankfully, he did not.

"Oh, sure! Thanks a lot, Y/n." He said with the same smile on his face which I absolutely adored. "Well, get in." I said, unlocking the doors for him.

I watched as he walked around the car to open the door of the passenger seat beside me and settle there. I tapped the steering wheel gently to the beat of the song that was playing on the radio while waiting for him to finish buckling his seatbelt.

"You should wear a seatbelt too, you know?" I heard his voice start beside me. "Well, there's no cops around this time of night. No one would catch me." I tell him in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Yeah, but for safety reasons. That's what seat belts were made for, right?" He said cautiously, as if trying to warn me. Though his obvious concern was adorable like him, I was stubborn enough to think that I was and will be completely fine without a seat belt considering the fact that I've raced a hundred or more times.

"Meh, I'll be fine. You hang on tight, though." I smiled at him, readjusting my posture. He mumbled a yeah, grinning softly and pushing his glasses back onto his nose properly.

I start driving through the streets, humming to the song that plays on the speakers. Looking at the side mirrors every now and then. There was a somewhat awkward air between us and knowing myself, if it got awkward enough I'd start bouncing my leg up and down which would result to obviously a car accident.

Now, I'm not risking it so I tried to bring up some small talk. "So.. How's working at the Daily Planet? I bet you and Jimmy are already cooking up those stories" I blurted.

"Ah, no, not really. Actually, me and another intern there worked on a piece about Superman but sadly, the 'professional' writers got credit for it." He heaved out a sigh and shook his head, looking out the window.

"I'm sorry that happened. You guys worked so hard for it just for other people to get credited for your efforts? That's ridiculous if you're gonna ask me." I said, supporting what he must feel right now. I heard him mumble a small 'yeah' and couldn'ilt make out the other words he said.

Reaching a pretty quiet and calm road, I decided to give into my temptations a little bit and speed up for a bit of thrill. For me, it wasn't all that bad given that I had driven a lot faster than this but, Clark on the other hand, seemed the opposite. 

I laughed slightly at him saying, "Chill down, Clark. I got you, no need to be so scared." noticing he had clutched onto the seat belt and somewhere else on the car which I didn't pay much mind to. 

"Why are you going so fast?! That's dangerous! This is dangerous!" He exclaimed, receiving another laugh from me before I slowed down again, resting him from an almost heart attack. 

I chuckled a bit more before responding, "I find it fun, driving as if I'm in a Fast & Furious movie." 

"Yeah, but it's not so fun when you're not safe." He snapped back at me. I smiled at him "Okay, I'm sorry, Clark. I'll be careful." I told him. Oh, this man was beautiful. He seems like such a dork and I just love that about him. I wonder how he'd react if he found out I race cars practically as a job.

A few minutes of small talk, we finally arrived at our apartment building. I parked my car in the parking lot underground which was designated for us residents. "Here we are." I announced to him. "Yeah, thanks for the ride. I just saved myself more time rather than waiting and looking for a cab. Really, thank you so much." He said

"Anytime, I mean, it's the least I can do to help my neighbor." I smiled sweetly at him before opening the door of my car and getting out.

As he stepped out too and closed my door, I locked it with the keys. I looked at him and to my surprise, he was already looking at me. I noticed a tint of pink shade on his face as our eyes locked.

"Let's go" I said, smiling a bit at him. 

Exiting the elevator and walking through the hallway, we finally arrived at the doors of our apartments. I faced him and bid my goodbyes, "Goodnight, Clark. Send my wishes to Jimmy." I told him and turned around to push my keys into the doorknob.

I heard him call me right before I opened the door. "Yes?" I asked him. "Thank you again for the ride. I didn't mean to bother you and- stuff. If ever you're up to it, and only if you are, would you like to grab some food sometime? Just to pay back for what you did for me today." He again rubbed his nape, avoiding my gaze and the same pink on his face.

I found it cute and why would I turn down a possible date with my hot-and-adorable-at-the-same-time neighbor? "Not that you're obliged to pay me back, and believe me it wasn't a favor you have to pay back for, but I would love to grab some food with you, sometime." I said, feeling my own cheeks heat up.

"Great, that's great. Um, yes, goodnight Y/n. Have a wonderful night!" He said, entering his own apartment. 

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

[lustfulslxt]

ok, here's an idea. so tk that one song that blew up on tiktok like a year ago (escapism by RAYE) anyways, what about a reader who js broke up w her bf and is doing the things in the song (in the back of the taxi sniffing coke) and for the lyrics that are like "24 hrs since my ex did dead it, I got a new man on me it's abt to get sweaty" but like Chris is the new man on her?? idk if it makes sence, and u don't have to if u don't want, js think it'd be cool!!

Escapism - Chris Sturniolo

warnings : mentions of alcohol, drug use, smut

a/n : i did change it up a bit, so i hope you don’t mind!!

—

“I found someone else.”

His voice keeps replaying over and over in my head, on a twisted loop, tearing my heart to shreds. It was so sudden and unexpected. To say I was prepared would be a lie. I should’ve seen the signs, but I was just so blind to it all.

I knew he loved me, but I guess I also knew deep down inside that he wasn’t ready. He kept telling me everything I wanted to hear. It was music to my ears to hear that someone cared for me so much, but a voice within kept whispering that he wasn’t ready to fill those big shoes. I need a man that is ready to fully commit to a future with me- no hesitation, no doubt. Even though I knew he was good to me in every way possible, he just couldn’t give me everything I needed and wanted. I knew it. I just didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to keep living a fairytale in hopes that one day he would be sure about what we had. I figured the longer I waited for him to change, eventually he would become who I needed him to be. I didn’t want to have to start over.

It hurts. I’m sitting here overthinking, a million and one questions running through my head. Unable to sleep, creating different scenarios, while making a mental list of regrets, but I can’t keep blaming myself for someone else’s inability to provide the type of love I deserve. Tonight is just like any other night, difficult as hell, but I’ll do what I’ve always done. I’ll get over it, I’ll get through it. I’ll be fine.

I’m going to push this all out of my mind. I don’t want to just sit and dwell on what could’ve been or the wasted time, I want to feel free and have fun. So, I’m going to go out and do me. I don’t need a man that isn’t fully in it, and until I find one that is, I’m going to do as I please.

Just last night, I was torn up, completely devastated. Now, I’m heading out the door to go get drunk. My uber is parked right outside, waiting for me. Confirming it’s actually my ride, I slip in the back.

“Good evening.” The woman speaks from the front.

“Hello.” I breathe, eager to feel something other than the terrible aching in my chest.

“Having fun tonight I see.” She grins, looking at my destination on her maps.

“Yes ma’am. Need to get out and get my mind off things.” I admit, shrugging to myself.

“So long as you’re safe.”

I only smile and nod at her in the rear view mirror, turning my head to watch the scenery go by. Doing my best to not let my mind wander to the night before, I close my eyes and hum along to the radio. Already consumed by the music, I grin to myself, letting the lyrics take over and dictate my night.

It doesn’t take long before we pull up to the bar, I’m tipping the driver and making my way out as she wishes me fun. From the outside, it doesn’t look to be too busy, which I’m thankful for. I can hear the chatter and the mellow music outside the front entrance, welcoming me inside.

I walk inside, the atmosphere already calming my slight nerves. I can tell I’m going to enjoy myself. I head up to the bar, taking an empty seat at the island, and wait for the bartender to finish up with a few customers at the end. It only takes a couple of minutes before he’s heading over to me with a smile on his face.

“Hey, what can I get for you tonight?” He asks, laying the towel in his hand on the counter.

“I don’t care what, but something strong, please.” I reply, sliding him my card. “Actually, could you start me a tab?”

He nods, “Sure thing.”

He walks away for a moment, punching into his little register. He slips my card back to me and starts making my drink. I watch as he basically fills it to the brim of some kind of dark liquor. He steps back over, sliding me the small glass with a slight smirk. I take it and down the entirety of it, cringing at the burning sensation.

“Keep them coming, please.” I speak, lifting my head and letting the alcohol do its thing.

Shots on shots, I’m now very intoxicated. I’ve never done anything like this, getting fucked up at a bar by myself, but I have to say, it’s not bad. Anything to rid myself of my sorrows. The liquor is coursing through my veins, making my body hot. I can hear the music booming in my ears, though it’s not even that loud. I don’t feel the aching in my chest anymore, and my thoughts aren’t consumed with regrets and self doubt. I feel good.

It’s been two hours since I got to the bar, I’ve had countless of shots and I know I can’t take anymore. I’m going to have a terrible hangover when I get up in the morning. I slide the empty cup in front of me, grabbing my bag and waving the bartender down.

“You can go ahead and close my tab out. I am fucked.” I slurred, shaking my head with a faint smile.

“You got it. Do you need me to order you an uber?” He questions, his brows furrowed with concern.

“Thank you for the offer, but mine’s already waiting outside.” I smile, waving my phone in my hand.

“Alright, take care.”

I give him a salute, drunken giggles pouring out of my mouth. Turning on my heel, I make my way to the front door. Upon exiting the building, the cool wind blows through my hair, and I’m inhaling a breath of fresh air. My eyes scan the street in front of me, in search of my uber driver. A few cars down, I see the car waiting. Attempting to be quick, I stupidly speed walk, causing myself to trip a few times. Luckily, I still hold my ground and don’t completely eat shit. I reach the back door, swiftly pulling it open and sliding in.

“Uh, what’s up?” A male voice speaks, startling me.

Startling me, because he’s also sitting in the backseat. I furrow my eyebrows at him and look around, noticing the car is filled with smoke and the aroma of weed. Then I return my gaze to him, taking in his appearance as he’s cladded in black. He’s got a black t-shirt underneath a black zip up hoodie, black sweats, black air forces, and a black hat sitting backwards on his head.

“I didn’t realize I booked a share ride.” I stammer, confusion plastered over my face.

“You didn’t.” He chuckled, “This isn’t your uber.”

“Swear down? It definitely is, I wouldn’t get in a random car.” I point out, slightly stumbling over my words.

He continues laughing, and that’s when I noticed the blunt in his hand, the cherry red and smoking.

“I’m 100% sure that it’s not, ma. Here, look.” He says, showing me his phone.

It’s displayed on the screen, the type of car and his uber driver, which is definitely this one. I shake my head in confusion, pulling my phone out to show him. Only once I unlock my phone, I notice that I hadn’t fully ordered the ride. My face heats up, and I would be utterly humiliated if I weren’t drunk right now.

“Guess I had one too many.” I mumble, a smile evidently taking over my lips. “Sorry.”

“No worries. We can share.” He shrugs, indicating it’s no big deal.

I raise my eyebrows in question, but he only leans forward to the driver, asking, “Would you mind dropping her off wherever she needs to go? I’ll pay for it.”

“You don’t need to pay-“ He cuts me off with a wave of his hand, continuing his conversation with the driver.

Seconds later, he sits back with a triumphant smile on his face. He sends me a thumbs up, bringing the blunt to his lips and inhaling it, the cherry burning brighter. After puffing on it a couple of times, he extends it out to me, offering me a hit. I don’t know what came over me, but I gladly accept it, bringing it to my lips and sucking it in.

“What’s your name?” He asks, observing me intently.

“Y/N.” I answer, blowing the smoke out and passing him the blunt. “You?”

He takes it with a small smirk, replying, “Chris.”

I nod, leaning forward to give the driver my address, which he types into his maps. I look back at Chris to see he’s already looking at me with a cheeky grin, which causes me to giggle.

“What?” I ask, a large smile adorning my face.

He shakes his head, “Nothing. Just wondering why you’re as fucked up as you are when you’re by yourself.”

“I am not fucked up.” I state, defensively.

“You got into my uber, thinking it was yours, but you never even booked one.” He points out, chuckling at my predicament.

“Fair.” I laugh, ultimately shrugging, “I got dumped, and I decided to get my mind off of it. What better way to do that than getting shit faced?”

“Fair.” He repeats me, laughing. “You don’t have any friends to go out with?”

I shake my head, my lip softly curling up, “Not really.”

“I won’t pry.” He tosses his hands up in defense, before taking another drag from his blunt.

“Do you think he’d be cool to stop at a gas station or something?” I whisper to Chris, suddenly wanting to drink again.

“Yeah, surely.” He agrees with furrowed eyebrows.

He leans up and begins conversing with the driver. I can’t help but let my mind wander again. I’m drunk, in the back of a car with a stranger, and somehow my thoughts still run back to my ex boyfriend. What is actually wrong with me?

“Yo, you good?” Chris’ voice snaps me from my thoughts.

“Hm? Oh yeah, could use another bottle or something.” I shrug in response.

“We’re about to stop at 7/11. I can get you one if you need.” He says.

I immediately shake my head, “No, no. You already offered to pay for my ride, that’s more than enough.”

“It’s no problem.” He casually replies, reaching his blunt back out in my direction.

A smile reaches my lips once again as I take it from him, puffing on it and letting the smoke fill my lungs. I can’t help but notice the way he intently watches me, his bottom lip snug between his teeth. He’s actually very attractive.

We continue talking and joking around, passing time before we pull up to the store. I step out, prancing towards the door, Chris joining me. I spin around, looking at him with a cheeky smile, almost tripping in the process. Chris reaches out and catches my arm, laughter pouring out of both of our mouths.

“Take it easy, mama.” He chuckles, tossing an arm around my shoulder.

I playfully push him away, both of us staggering apart from each other, breathless from our heavy laughter. We get to the door and he leans over me, pulling it open for me, him following in suit. I’m instantly heading to the coolers while Chris heads to the snack aisle. As I’m browsing through the alcohol, I see Chris’ reflection in the glass doors, his arms full of a bunch of junk food.

I turn around with a huge smile, “That’s a lot of snacks.”

He smiled back, shuffling on his feet, “Yeah. I was actually going to ask you if you would maybe want to come to my hotel and hangout?”

It doesn’t even take me a second before I’m nodding, “Sounds like fun.”

“Great. What are we drinking?” He asks, directing our attention back to the coolers.

I open the door, grabbing a random mini six pack of beer. I hold it up to him and he shrugs, neither of us caring. I head to another cooler, looking for something to drink aside from the alcohol. I decide on just a two liter of pepsi. We make our way to the register, piling our things on the counter.

“ID, please.” The man behind the counter says, his voice monotone and bored.

I can’t help the giggles emitting from my mouth, pulling my card out and showing him. He scans all of our things and I swipe my debit card, much to Chris’ dismay. Retrieving our bags, we’re out the door and in the uber again.

“Change of plans, just the hotel.” Chris tells the driver. “Sorry for all the confusion.”

“No worries.” He responds, pulling out of the parking lot.

It takes us around ten minutes to get Chris’ hotel, and in that time, we’ve already grown closer in our intoxicated states. We’ve both gotten extremely touchy, but not even in a sexual way, though I wouldn’t mind. Chris puts our bags of snacks and drinks in his backpack, then we get out of the car. Chris tips the driver, before he places his hand on my back, walking me into the hotel.

We head to the elevator and I’m already pulling a beer out of his bag. I pop the cap off and place it in my pocket, taking a swig as we wait for the elevator to get to the main floor. Chris looks at me and chuckles, grabbing the bottle from my hand and drinking it himself. The doors open and we enter it, him taking another drink as he presses the button to level five, the brown liquor pouring into his mouth so smoothly.

“You’re so hot.” I drunkenly say, bursting into laughter at my slip.

“Yeah, but look at you.” He smirks, nodding at me as he looks me up and down. “You look like you taste good.”

My jaw goes slack, the atmosphere growing more tense. Quickly recovering, I shrug, “Only one way to find out.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” He flashes his pearly white teeth at me, his hand finding its way to my back again, pulling me into him.

His face is swiftly leaning in, his lips meeting mine in seconds. The kiss is soft but hungry, like we’ve been yearning for each other all night. Maybe we have. His hand on my back pulls me even closer, our bodies pressing together, his hand holding the beer bottle out as to not spill in on me. His tongue swipes in between my lips, asking for entrance as one of my hands rests on his chest, the other going around his neck. Just as he shoves his tongue in my mouth, the elevator dings and the doors open, revealing an elderly couple. We quickly pull away and they look at us with wide eyes, Chris and I just chuckling as we exit, making room for them. We look back at them, then back at each other, laughing once more.

As soon as Chris unlocks the door, he’s pulling me in and pinning me to the wall, kicking the door shut with his foot. His lips meet mine in a feverish kiss, his tongue immediately slipping into my mouth. I can’t help but moan at the feeling, enjoying the way he seems so desperate for me. He leans to the side and places the bottle on the table, slipping his bag off his shoulders as well. His hands meet my hips, pulling me into him, his tongue exploring every inch of my mouth. He quickly shakes off his jacket, his lips never leaving mine.

He then swiftly lifts me up, hooking my legs around his waist, walking me to the bed. He sets me down, pulling his shirt over his head as I do the same, leaving me topless. He grins at the sight of my bare breasts, his hands immediately groping them, eliciting low moans from me. We both kick off our shoes before he lays me back, hovering above me.

“You’re so pretty, mama.” He breathlessly whispers against my lips.

I let out soft whimpers as his lips trail down my neck, leaving hot kisses the lower he went. He hands massage my waist, squeezing ever so slightly. My hands move back and forth from his hair to his bare chest, feeling all over him and keeping him flush against me. His skin is so hot against mine and I can’t get enough of it.

“You sure you wanna do this?” He asks, pausing to look me in the eyes.

I frantically nod, no doubt or hesitation whatsoever. His hands tug on my pants, swiftly pulling them down and tossing them aside. He kisses up from my feet to my thighs, leaving warm lines of saliva in his wake. I can feel my legs shaking a little bit, anticipating what’s to come. His nose brushes against the fabric of my panties, and I can feel his hot breath against my core, making me whimper.

“Please.” I whine, my fingers latching onto his hair.

“What do you need, mama?” He asks, flattening his tongue against the wet patch on my center.

I can’t help but moan and buck my hips, desperate for more, “Please, I need you. I don’t care, just you.”

Just like that, my underwear is lying beside my pants and Chris has my legs over his shoulders. He blows cool hair onto my dripping pussy, the feeling causing shivers to travel up my spine. Without another word, his tongue is plunging into my folds, eliciting a loud moan from me. His mouth moves vigorously against me, licking and sucking every inch.

“Fuck, I knew you would taste good.” He hums into me, “I could devour you all day everyday, never get tired of it.”

All I can muster are lewd moans, my body jerking as he suddenly thrusts two fingers into my entrance. His tongue laps my clit, flicking side to side over it, his fingers stroking me and curling so perfectly inside. My legs visibly tremble, clamping around his head as I feel myself being brought to the edge. With another few pumps of his fingers, and the rapid shake of his head side to side, his tongue pressed firmly against my clit the entire time, my back arches off the bed as I let go, reaching my climax with a loud cry emitting from my mouth.

“So pretty, mama. Such a good girl, letting me taste you.” He praises, licking up every drop.

He lifts himself up, coming back above me. He places his fingers at my mouth, tapping lightly on my lips, so I take them in my mouth, sucking my essence from him. He moans at the sight, immediately replacing his fingers with his tongue, the taste of me remaining behind as we kissed.

“Take your pants off.” I say, breathless from the feverish kissing.

“Are you sure?” He questions, to which I nod, and he pulls them off, along with his boxers.

The sight of his dick has my mouth watering; it’s long, girthy, and rock hard. His tip is bright red, throbbing in need as it drips precum. I wrap my hand around it, pumping up and down a few times, before pushing him onto his back and straddling him. His eyes widen at the sudden change, but nonetheless, his hands meet my thighs and he begins stroking them back and forth. His erection is now pressed between my legs, poking into my heat. I slowly grind down on it, lubricating him with my juices, pulling low moans from both of us.

“Fuck.” He groans, his hands tightening on my hips. “Just wanna be inside of you, mama.”

Granting his wish, I lift up, positioning him at my entrance. As I begin sliding down, his hands interlock with mine, squeezing them as I take his whole length. My jaw goes slack, taking in the feeling of him inside me. I feel him shudder beneath me, thrusting up a bit, snapping me back into it. Our hands rest beside his shoulders, still intertwined, and I slowly begin bouncing. Leaning down, I bring my lips to his, capturing them in a heated kiss. The speed of my motion increases, his hips now thrusting upwards to meet mine, hitting just the right spots.

“You feel so good around my cock. So tight, so warm and wet.” Chris moans, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

The room is hot, our bodies sweaty and sticking together. The smell of sex fills the air, the sounds of our moans and heavy breathing, along with the wetness at our centers, echoing off the walls. The bed rocks back and forth, though not too loud. His dick continued digging into me, my walls wrapping around him so snugly, my arousal being the perfect lubrication.

His upward thrusts pick up, his hands now on my hips, holding me in place as he drills into me. My face falls into his shoulder, my teeth biting at the skin, preventing myself from screaming at the overwhelming sensation. His hands find my ass, gripping and spreading my cheeks, helping me rock into him so perfectly. It takes but only a second for me to tumble over the edge, loud moans falling from my mouth as I clench around him. I feel the hot wetness pouring out of me, soaking his dick and balls. My nails dig into his chest, attempting to help release the built up pressure inside of me.

“Damn, mama.” He groans, guttural moans escaping his throat. “Look so good when you cum, baby.”

I bring my lips back to his, kissing him with everything in me as his thrusts grow sloppy, indicating he’s close to finishing. I tighten around him once more, giving him that extra push, and his hips sputter, abdomen flexing as he lets go, shooting his load into me. I continue riding him for a minute, helping him through his orgasm, before slowly pulling off and whining at the loss of being filled up by him. I collapse down next to him, my head lying on his shoulder, his head on mine. We both struggle to catch our breath, our bodies slick with sweat, both of us heaving from exhaustion.

“I’m glad your boyfriend dumped you.” His voice croaks out, slightly hoarse.

I can’t help the chuckle that leaves my lips as I pat his chest, “You and me both. He could never fuck me as good as you just did.”

—

a/n : okay, sorry, i actually hate this :((( i feel i drifted from the request but i didn’t know how to bring it back without rewriting it and i just didn’t have it in me. so sorry, i hope you still enjoy it! <3

[sahrii]

Impossible; tetsuro kuroo 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

episode 4 ! wasted hatred

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⋆. 𐙚 ˚ a/n! I really hate the way that I wrote this for some reason cries enjoy!! ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ warnings! mentions of bullying, kms kys jokes ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ taglist! open, dm or ask box to be added! ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ requests! open

she was sitting, legs crossed atop her bed along with kenma, who’s brain was frying over a calculus problem that seemed impossible to solve.

“how the hell do you do this?” he shoved his notebook into her face, forcing her to tear her eyes away from her own notebook.

“how will you survive your third year without me?” she asked as her eyes scanned the problem, immediately recognising how to solve it.

“who said i will survive it without you? you should be expecting visits every day” he muttered as he fell backwards, landing on one of her soft pillows.

the scribbles of x’s, y’s and some other numbers on the blank paper was all that could be heard, along with both their soft breaths.

“y/n,” called out kenma.

“hm?” she said, eyes still focusing on the question kenma has given her earlier.

“i was wondering….why did you react the way you did two days ago,” kenma asked, still sprawled on her pillow, his gaze fixed on the ceiling.“huh?” her pencil stopped mid-stroke, leaving the “x” incomplete.

“i mean—you guys always fight. i think i’ve seen you both fight more than i’ve seen my own parents argue. so why did you just…” his voice trailed off, and he turned his head to face her, his cheek squished against the pillow.

“just what?” she frowned, her fingers gripping the pencil tightly.

“dunno, you just let him say all that, you didn’t like fight back like you always do,” he replied. “like you froze and left, which is not like you, y’know?”

she sighed, dropping her pen into the notebook as she leaned against her headboard. “i don’t know, he just hit a nerve there like—” she wanted to open up more, she had so much to say but she couldn’t shape her thoughts into words.

and kenma didn’t try to push, he just stayed silent. a way of showing her that it’s okay, he won’t judge.

“maybe he was right, i don’t know kenma okay?” her voice faltered as she started fiddling with her hair, trying to do anything to distract herself from breaking down.

kenma sat up, tilting his head to fully face her as he knitted his brows. “what? so you think you have an inferiority complex? that you’re manipulative? that you try too hard?”

“i don’t know—like, maybe i do? it’s not like i want to be this way though you know? you’ve seen my mom and how shitty her life is, like allowing people to walk all over her and despite everything she did for these people she still ended up alone. i don’t want to—i don’t wanna end up like her. i don’t want to feel small or worthless—”

 

“you’re so dumb, y/n.” sighed kenma as he chucked a heart-shaped pillow at her. “this is all not true, and like i said, kuroo is even dumber but he didn’t mean any of what he said. you don’t have an inferiority complex, youre not manipulative, and there is no harm in trying hard.”

her eyes were beginning to water, but she didn’t want to cry so she just stayed silent and held it in, nodding at what kenma just said while playing with a strand of her hair yet again.

“this is so cheesy, but you can cry if you want. im not gonna record it and send it to kuroo or something” kenma added, trying to lighten the mood as he fell into the pillow yet again, spreading his limbs across the bed.

“im not gonna cry,” she muttered, trying to convince herself more than anything. “its just that, im a bit tired of having to prove myself, so whatever he said did hit a nerve,”

“but you don’t have to prove yourself, not to anyone and definetly not to kuroo,”

“yeah well—easier said than done.” she replied in a duh tone. “kuroo is good at everything, he doesn’t even have to try and then i am there doing twice as much work as him just so i can feel like i am keeping up with him” she added, falling back against the bed.

“well, maybe that’s what he sees in you,” he replied.

she frowned as she turned to look at him. “what do you mean? the guy hates my guts,”

“kuroo wouldn’t even bother with teasing you or making stupid comments if he hated you, and he does know that you’re trying hard and he respects that about you. but do you really hate him?”

it was silent for a moment while she really thought about the question. did she really hate him?

“i don’t know okay? and if kuroo actually respects me, then he has some sort of backward logic because that is a stupid way of showing someone that you respect them,” she replied, confusion wrapping a suffocating chain around her heart.

a smirk made its way to kenma’s face. “well, it’s kuroo we’re talking about and having backwards logic is the most kuroo thing ever. but yeah, he really doesn’t hate you he’s just bad at showing he cares,”

“then why did he ‘accidentally’ throw a volleyball at my face last month? i had a bruise on my forehead for ten days. it clearly wasn’t an accident from the way it was thrown.” she sat up, crossing her legs while hugging a small pillow.

“oh that? it’s supposed to be a secret but i am a snitch, lev accidently threw that ball and kuroo took the blame because lev almost shit his pants when he saw you,”

she deadpanned, eyebrows twitching. “lev is gonna get it,”

“but why the hell did no one tell me that?” she added.

“if kuroo took the blame then why would anyone want to tell you? it’s up to him, really.”

“but why did he just—i don’t know it seems stupid and it doesn’t make sense,” she scratched he hair, confusion flooding her body.

“well, how about this? remember these bullies in middle school?” asked kenma.

“yeah?” she replied, her brows furrowing, not knowing where this was going.

“kuroo saw them one day. you know, the day they tripped you and made you fall in front of everyone. he went and threatened them after that. that’s why they suddenly stopped bothering you,”

her mouth dropped open, her grip on the pillow tightening. “holy shit, you’re joking,”

 “i’m not. i’m dead serious.”

confusion wasn’t the only thing she felt now. a mixture of emotions churned inside her—fuzzy warmth she couldn’t quite name, guilt creeping in at the edges, and an unfamiliar ache in her chest.

she sat in stunned silence, her mind racing. had she spent all these years hating someone who had been quietly helping her all along? someone who quite literally cared for her? someone who—

“i mean, he’s done way more stuff like that,” kenma added, cutting through her spiraling thoughts. “he just doesn’t want to take credit for it. that’s how he is.”

her voice came out puzzled, almost hesitant. “why wouldn’t he say anything? why let me think he’s been a jerk this whole time?”

kenma shrugged, leaning back against the headboard. “because he’s kuroo. he doesn’t like admitting when he’s being nice—it messes with his whole ‘cool, smug guy’ persona. and honestly?” he paused. “i think he likes messing with you too much to ever make it obvious.”

she let out a groan, flopping back against the bed. “that’s so stupid. he’s so stupid. i’m so stupid.”

“at least you’re self-aware.”

“shut up,” she muttered, her hand pressing over her face as she tried to make sense of everything.

it was silent and the warm fuzziness from earlier hadn’t gone away. if anything, it was growing stronger, spreading through her chest and leaving her uncomfortable in ways she didn’t know how to describe.

“just give him a chance,” kenma said, his voice breaking the silence. “he’s not as bad as you think he is.”

she didn’t reply, her thoughts too jumbled to form words. instead, she clung to the pillow in her lap, trying to untangle the mess of feelings swirling inside her.

“now that we finished our trauma dumping session, can i please get the answers to my homework?” asked kenma after a beat of more silence.

“shut up kenma,” she sighed as she picked up the pencil yet again, completing the “x” she left uncompleted but this time, something has changed, and she couldn’t recognise what that something is quite yet.

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