#like why do you even want to make them the exact same?

[gay-dorito-dust]

Just some big three pjo things I think about.

Percy -the little shit- would absolutely utilise his ability of water to mess with you.

100%

If you leave a water bottle unopened, expect Percy to surge what little water was left inside to spray you when you’re going in for a drink. Leaving you soaked and glaring at the boy across the camp.

He thinks he’s funny but he’s really not.

You can’t even try to do this back to him as it usually results in it being thrown back in your face, literally as you’re reminded that this dude can walk into waist deep water, and miraculously come back as dry as he was before entering.

So needless to say you keep your water bottles tightly shut when you’re near Percy in case he’s feeling funny that day or has that certain gleam in his eye.

Percy can’t be trusted near uncapped water bottles, it’s a rule to never leave Percy near them or be within sight of any un opened water bottles.

Percy is not allowed to participate in watergun fights…for very obvious reasons and even if he does, the bastard had to be prohibited from using his powers at all during the watergun fights!

Everyone else in camp will be soaked and he would be dry as fuck, everyone calls it cheating but Percy calls it otherwise. Smug little twat.

Also don’t imagine Percy using the water out of an water bottle to douse you and when your chasing him, ready to kill him, his excuse is that ‘it’s a hot day in camp and I thought you could cool off a little!’ As if that was going to save him from the ass whooping your about to give him.

Nico has silent footsteps.

He can travel through shadows.

This is a recipe for disaster as he can easily scare you without having to try all that hard. And it’s the worst feeling ever.

He won’t know just how silent his footsteps are until you point it out to him or else he’ll think that he’s more than made his arrival known. (He absolutely didn’t)

Nico could emerge from the shadow nearby and walk up to you and casually say ‘hey’ and you’ll almost come out of your own skin when you realised the pale Italian in the aviator jacket next to you.

‘Fucking hell Nico’ you’d groan as you grasp your chest, trying to calm yourself down from the initial scare. ‘Warn me next time.’ You would add and Nico would only look at you as though you had grown a second head.

He had no clue what you were on about but would continue his day like he would any other, doing the same exact thing to other campers and getting the same exact reaction he got out of you too many times to be coincidental.

Even when he’s not shadow traveling, his footsteps are quite enough to have you believe that he had just appeared out of nowhere, and not walked the entirety of camp just to tell you something.

‘You’ve got to stop popping up out of nowhere.’ You tell him.

‘I’m not doing anything!’ He’d reply.

‘You’ve got silent footsteps Nico! Can’t hear shit when you’re creeping up on me, do you want me to die?’ You’d say and all of sudden everything made sense to Nico as to why everyone seemed to be unable to notice him until he was standing nearby.

‘Oh.’ He’d say. Does this change anything? No not really as Nico finds it funny to see people get scared. It’s made even funnier when on Halloween when everyone is done telling their scariest stories.

Jason tends to electric shock people, not on purpose, it just happens without warning.

I’m talking rubbing your hands on a carpet super fact and touching someone’s arm, or rubbing a balloon against yourself and watching in awe as it makes the hairs on your arms stick up.

However he didn’t need to rub his hands on a carpet to give someone an eclectic shock, he can just reach out to you and make it happen.

You could just be reaching for his hand and zap! You’ve been given an electric shock by Jason grace! You flinch back to rub your hand and Jason thought you were hurt and was already reaching out to you to help when-

You guessed it another electric shock happens.

It doesn’t hurt, you’re not in any pain but still you were being zapped at the end of the day.

Jason isn’t aware of this ability until afterwards and he’s just as confused as you and will not reach out for you for a while until he’s certain he won’t shock you.

Which is a solid 50/50. It happens when he least expects it or it can strike twice if you were the unlucky soul to get an electric shock back to back.

Guess it’s a weird perk of being the child of Zeus.

[electricbathsalt]

I would like to clarify something:

My point was never that Chisaki didn’t do anything wrong, that he was innocent, or justified in any of the things he did. He’s horrible. He’s a horrible man who did horrible things.

My point was that he’s not actually any worse than the League of Villains, and that a lot of the fandom doesn’t bother properly understanding his character. So many people will say that he’s pure evil and that he was just born that way, when that’s… blatantly untrue? He clearly is a product of the environments he grew up in. You cannot convince me he would have turned out the same person had he had a different, better upbringing.

I’ve seen many people say that Chisaki is the exact same as AFO and Endeavor, while loving Shigaraki and saying he deserved better. Which is interesting, considering Chisaki is also canonically a victim of AFO, and as for with Endeavor, I’d say there’s quite a few pretty fundamental differences between the two:

One: Chisaki’s goals were not entirely for himself and his own prosperity and wants.

Two: Chisaki didn’t enter into an arranged marriage where he forced his wife to have multiple kids for the sake of his goal. It was not premeditated. Eri was dropped in his lap, and he made a plan based off of that.

Three: Chisaki was raised in the yakuza. Before Chisaki was in the yakuza, he was in one of AFO/Garaki’s orphanages, where it’s implied he was experimented on. His outlook on life, the world at large, and violence is going to naturally be extremely different from Endeavor’s due to how he was raised. Endeavor seems to have been born in a relatively regular civilian or hero family.

Four: Chisaki is half the age of Endeavor.

And I hope I don’t have to explain why Chisaki is not the same as AFO.

It’s shown that Chisaki is capable of love and care. The problem is that he never learned how to properly show those things. He never learned about the inherent value of human lives—he believes that being alive is something you must prove yourself worthy of.

Nemoto used his truth quirk on Chisaki, and Chisaki’s true feelings were that he likes Nemoto and finds his presence reassuring. Yet he doesn’t spare a second thought before killing him and fusing with him. He doesn’t exactly hesitate to put Pops into a coma, the person who he treasures most. It seems that Chisaki doesn’t equate caring about someone with not hurting them.

He doesn’t hold grudges. He doesn’t blame anyone but himself for the destruction of the Shie Hassaikai. He doesn’t care to go after Midoriya or the LOV for revenge. He seems to think violence is something expected, that it’s a given. That someone hurting you isn’t something to be mad about. People like to wave around Chisaki’s whole shtick of dehumanizing people and thinking of them as pawns, but they don’t realize that he doesn’t exclude himself from that. Yes, he likely believes himself to be the queen, but still ultimately a chess piece.

Chisaki isn’t a sadist. He’s never a jackass for the sake of being a jackass. We only “see” him smile once and firstly, we don’t even get to actually see it because it’s covered by his mask, and secondly, it’s a fake smile to try to throw Midoriya and Mirio off his trail. Yet I see people make him smile and revel in other people’s pain all the time, make him an asshole who likes tormenting people for the sake of it. That’s not Chisaki.

Chisaki is not worse than Dabi or Shigaraki. Chisaki is not “completely different” from them and ten times more evil. He is the same; he thinks how he does because of how he was brought up. He would’ve been different if his childhood was different. He is not less deserving of rehabilitation than the LOV.

Anyway. This is getting longer than I intended, so I’m just gonna cut it off there.

[greml1nb0i]

Hi there! I just stumbled upon your cozy blog thanks to a post mentioning that Viv will be working on a new series. ^^"

If it's true, then I'm worried just how she might do a terrible job especially since writing doesn't seem to be her specialty (like she's giving me Mindy Kaling vibes). She even announced planning to work on several more seasons of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. Shouldn't she at least finish both shows before even moving to other projects? 🤔

I also think in my opinion that she'd work best as a t-shirt graphic artist for Hot Topic 'coz most of her projects felt like a random showcase of her OCs from high school. They're also overly designed and her humor is rather too juvenile than hilarious.

Sorry for the ramble, I just like to share my thoughts out there.

Dont worry about rambling Anon, ive done my fair share and thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

I agree on so many aspects of what you said.

Viv shouldnt be making anything new without finishing the already tanking series' she has. Hazbin is only going to get worse [as seen from the leaks] and Helluva is losing the most diehard of fans, attention. she's sinking her career quicker and quicker. She can't write, and even admits that herself several times. She steals from smaller artists, refuses to credit her artists and employees, is constantly into controversy after controversy, She cant grow up.

Its funny how you mention she gives a Mindy Vibe and i TOTALLY see it. Mindy went on a tirade about how people were shitting on Velma and Viv does the exact same thing, istg those 2 must be sharing a braincell.

Also yes the Hot Topic thing, i have my own 2 cents to put in there.

i swear this has a point to it just stick with me here. If it doesnt make sense to you im sorry, im not the greatest at explaining things.

I grew up in the early 2000s and 2010s, so Hot Topic and Spencer's were major hot spots for me, and lemme tell you. In those times, HT and Spencer's wouldve laughed at Viv for wanting to sell her cheap ass merch there. In fact, most merch sold there now, wouldnt have been, but ever since the big boom of indie creations; these stores ended up with different purposes.

HT never used to be a online merch store for indie creators, it used to be an actual punk store for punk and alt teens. Same with Spencer's but it was more for adults. You couldnt find things that werent punk or alt in regular stores thats why you'd go to HT or Spencer's.

Thats where youd get your AOT merch, Black Butler, Supernatural, Addams family, Jack Skellington, Band shirts like Korn, MCR, BVB, and Splitknot were sold there.

But now, its HH and HB merch. Fnaf, [im a fnaf fan before anyone comes for for that] and sparkle bs.

You cant find the punk merch you want, cuz its being switched out for Vivs bullshit and being buried in the back storages until they start having major sales to just get rid of it.

Now Spencer's' is being turned into the New HT, and HT is being turned into the kiddie emo version of Claires. its so fucking sad to watch.

My point to all this is.

Viv didnt need to sell her merch in HT.

HT doesnt need to be selling her merch to kids.

Viv shows are not made for kids, but yet she sells her merch at a teen based punk store.

HT doesnt need to be pandering to every indie creator that calls them to collab or sell their shitty 40$ t-shirts.

Viv doesnt need more money.

HT and Spencer's need to get their shit together before they go fucking bankrupt and we lose the only 2 punk-alt stores to exist physically.

Last i checked, BlackCraft Cult doesnt have an in person store.

[petalkitshadow]

Talking About: Appledusk

So, Appledusk is a character who my interpretation of probably gets questioned the most by readers. Which is understandable! He's not really an antagonist in MV; or, at least, the reader is supposed to understand in MV that while Mapleshade views him antagonistically, the narration is biased into her favor due to the story being from her POV. But the role he takes on in PkS is quite actually antagonistic to Petalpaw and her struggles.... so I thought it would be interesting to dive into it and explain my thoughts behind why I wrote him the way I did!

So - I want to start out by saying that Appledusk is a fictional character. It doesn't bother me if you like Appledusk, or view him differently than I do. I just happen to dislike him, which I think is pretty clear from how he fits into Petalkit's Shadow, lol. But even if I dislike him, I still wanted him to play an interesting role and serve his purpose, which involves making him as frustrating as possible!

When coming up with ideas for how characters will be in PkS, I often don't have much to go on. Mapleshade is really the only character from the cast who has a ton of focus in the canon books. Appledusk is one of those characters who falls a bit in a middle ground. He has enough going for him in MV that you can get a basic idea for how he is, but you still gotta do a lot of legwork on figuring out deeper aspects of his character. for PkS, I look at the characters' actions and go, "what kind of person would do this?" and then write the kind of person who I think would do that, basically.

Appledusk, he struck me as being very focused on self preservation. When he's with Mapleshade in private, he has no problem being loving to her and the kits. But the moment he might face repercussions - repercussions Mapleshade is already facing, he becomes detached and cold. What stuck out to me is how Mapleshade kept thinking that Appledusk never asked the kits' names. Now, Mapleshade as a narrator is biased. But she's right - Appledusk never asks what the names of his children are. He gives no outward signs of grief when faced with their death, and he makes no attempt to speak privately with Mapleshade after the kits drown. Of course, anger is a very valid form of grief, as we all know from Petalpaw. but Appledusk then going on to throw Mapleshade under the bus, and not show her a shred of sympathy even though he is currently suffering from the exact same prejudice that cost Mapleshade everything, speaks to me a lot about his values. When faced with his supposed loved one at her lowest, with nothing left to lose, his reaction is to distance himself from her as much as possible in the hopes that he will be punished less. It's cowardly, it's infuriating, and makes him seem so, so cruel to me.

And then, there's Reedshine. Reedshine in canon irks me a lot, in a meta sense. She's been hurt in similar ways as Mapleshade. Appledusk cheated on her too! But she immediately forgives him, and shows no conflict about Appledusk's actions. She's given no room to grieve or to hurt, she has to immediately come to Appledusk's defense. Reedshine and Mapleshade were both made to bear pain that Appledusk had no interesting in helping them shoulder.

To me, it really felt like Appledusk took the women in his life for granted. Why else would he have an affair, and not confess to it until literal, physical, damning evidence was put on display for everyone to see? Did he consider his own feelings, his own wants and desires, to be more important than that of Mapleshade, or Reedshine's? Mapleshade, with her penchant for cold-blooded murder, is definitely a worse person than Appledusk. But Appledusk's cruelty, I think it gets more under my skin because it feels real. How many serial killers do you know? probably none. But how many indifferent men who think women are just too emotional do you know? how many half-rate, self-absorbed fathers do you know? probably a small selection, at least.

So, when coming up with the basics for PkS, I imagined in the wake of this fiasco, Appledusk would be most focused on his own image, like he seems to be in canon. He wants to go back to being an esteemed, respected warrior. What's the best way to do that? Is it to step up, and be there for his traumatized daughter, offer her guidance and try to to fill the void left by losing her other parent?

No, of course not. Because to Appledusk, his daughter is a constant reminder of the mistakes he's made. He doesn't want to reckon with those mistakes, and he doesn't want to consider that he did something wrong.

In a way... he is a lot like his daughter. (Petalpaw would kill me if she could read me typing this, lol). They both are set in their ways, and very, very stubborn.

So, tl;dr... Appledusk in PkS is an extrapolation based on what I interpret from his character. But he's a character with so little to go on I think there are many ways to interpret him. This is just my thought process about him!

[taylorrrig]

Only time will tell

Bucky x female!reader

summary- 2 years ago, you made the worst mistake of your life, leaving him behind. Now, as your injured and thinking of the worst, you make it a mission to see him before anything else goes wrong. Will time be able to fix the hole between you both? Will you go back to how it was before?

This is my first fanfic ever, so if you have any criticism it is greatly appreciated! I hope you enjoy as much as you can! <3

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How much pain do you have to go through before giving in is okay?

Walking away was the hardest thing anyone's ever done, yet it felt 10 times harder walking away from him. Away from the life you could’ve had, and away from the memories made in the past. 

As you walk down the street, the sharpness of the wind, and the ache of the cold, and itch of dried blood bit against your skin, memories of your past come back, a haunting reminder of the choices you made. 

2 years ago…

Walking outside the city limits of Brooklyn, you looked over to your left, seeing the same face you had been seeing for the past 15 years. Bucky. The baby blues, sharp jaw, gorgeous lashes, and don’t even mention his hair. 

You had just escaped HYDRA, deciding to find a place to reside for a while. As you both came up with ideas, you saw this glint in his eyes, one that you had seen just days prior, when he came up with the escape plan. You could see, and practically hear the gears turning in his head. 

“Well? What is it?” You said, hoping that his ideas were any better than your own, begging for an escape to somewhere safe. Bucky hesitated before speaking, thinking his idea through before speaking it out loud. After a solid 30 seconds, he finally spoke. 

“What about the Avengers?” He barely spoke, just above a whisper. Before you had the chance to speak he continued. “I know Steve, he could help us, we would be safe, nothing could hurt us. We could convince them we’ve changed, just like we have. We could stick together, be there with each other, safe and sound.” He spoke these words rushed, knowing what your opinion was before he even said the original idea, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it could convince you to join him. 

You just stared at him, wondering if he realized what he had said. “Bucky. We can’t. You know why we can’t. We are wanted people, wanted assassins. We won’t just be accepted into their tower. Into their lives. Even if there was a small, slim possibility, only you know Steve. He never met me. He could think I’m playing them, playing you. I can’t take that risk.” You spoke the last words softly, inching your hand closer to his own, hoping to get across your point. You knew, just as well as he did, that this was where your paths split, you could only hope it wasn’t. 

“This could be our chance. Our only chance. Don’t you want to take it?” He spoke, frustrated, disappointed, and hurt you wouldn’t want to take the opportunity given to you. 

“Bucky, I can’t. You know I can’t!” The words came out harsher than you wanted them to, but it was already done. 

“Please. I’m begging you. I can’t do this without you.” His words, the exact opposite of yours, came out pleading, and begging you to join him. 

“Bucky, my mind is made up. It’s up to you now.” You said, giving him the option to live the life he may have been given if not for HYDRA. 

He didn’t look at you after that, his eyes staring at the mud, dirt, and scratches along his boots. That was your answer. He only ever wouldn’t look at you when he knew you would be upset with his next actions or words. You took in a breath, admitting to yourself this is where the ties would be cut. The rope connecting you being burned. 

“Then I guess this is it. Goodbye, Bucky.” As you brought your hand up to his cheek, holding his face in your palm, feeling him lean into your touch without him even noticing. You saw a single tear roll down his cheek, as you tried to hold in your own. Quickly, you wiped it away with your finger. 

As you turned and walked the other way, leaving Brooklyn, your stories, and your Bucky behind, you couldn’t help but feel as if it was the wrong choice. Your mind was telling you this was the right thing, but your heart was telling you to run back to him, hoping that he would call out for you. As he said nothing, you just kept walking, never looking back, and never dropping your resolve. That is until you hit the dock. Only then did you let out the sobs you had been holding, not wanting the last memory Bucky has of you to be seeing you in tears. 

Present…

Coming back to your body, you felt the pain tingling at your side, and you felt the scrapes against your skin, the burning, and itching becoming prominent against all odds. 

After leaving him, you returned to the only life you knew, being an assassin. This time it was under your own rules, and your own purpose. You never took the jobs that risked blowing your cover, and you never took the jobs involving children. Until one day when you got a message, your phone lighting up, saying that a wife needed help, that her husband was abusing her and their child, that she had the money, and had what you would need, that she just wanted her child to be safe. You almost turned it down, almost declined it, but a need to see this monster dead had succeeded your rules.

Only as you got to your location, which just so happened to be Brooklyn, did you know something was wrong, something wasn’t right. No one was there, not a mouse even. As you pulled out your phone to call your client, did you hear it. The ticking, the click, everything suddenly became aware to you, like a blindfold was taken off. You got up, running out of the building, but not fast enough, not at all. The bomb had exploded, sending you into the building across the street, leaving you with a metal pipe sticking out of your stomach, and scars from the glass littering your arms. In this moment you wondered if the call was ever real, and you wondered who would find you. You weren’t far from the Avengers tower, what if Bucky found you? 

That was when you got the strength, the will-power you needed to stand. You didn’t want him to see you like this, you didn’t want him to witness the pain you were in. As you stood, you felt the world spinning, leaning against the shattered wall, you regained your balance before making your way to Avengers tower, hoping that Bucky would still help you after all these years.

That brings you to now, standing outside of Avengers tower. Wondering how to reach them, was there a doorbell? Do you just knock? How do you say “Hi” to someone you haven’t seen in 2 years?

Before you know it you're walking into the lobby, and to the elevator, you didn’t know what floor to go to, so you pressed your lucky number, 17, ironic how Bucky was born in 1917, but even after you guys went your separate ways, it never did you any wrong. You didn’t know if you were hoping to see him at floor 17, or if you were hoping it was an empty floor, but you knew you were heading there. 

You checked the time on the elevator, 11:36 p.m, this meant they could all still be awake. Shit. As you neared the floor, you could hear talking and laughter. Double shit. 

As the elevator came to a stop, you heard an electronic voice come across the intercom. “There’s someone in the elevator, sir.” Triple shit. Well there goes a surprise visit. 

Once the elevator stopped, you got yourself ready for the fight. The doors opened, and you stumbled out, but not before you got slammed into the wall next to the elevator, a grunt coming from your mouth as you found it hard to breathe. You finally opened your eyes, looking around at everyone that was there, eventually seeing that it was Captain America that had you against the wall. You looked around seeing Black Widow, Hawkeye, Bruce Banner, Thor, Tony Stark, War Machine, Falcon, and finally, Bucky. Looking at him for a couple seconds, you finally spoke. 

“Hey, stranger.” Staring directly at him, you saw him trying to process it was you, that you were here. Finally, after what felt like ages, he spoke after a gasp. 

“Steve let her up!” He shouted, in record time, you could breathe again. Quickly, you felt arms wrapping around your torso, the coldness of one told you exactly who it was, who you were hoping it was. Bucky just looked down at you, taking you in for the first time in awhile. Eventually, he saw your jacket, the blood staining it, the dark red, warm liquid, oozing out into his hand. He looked up at you straight after, all you could manage was a small smile. His eyes widened, he laid you down and he raced to get your jacket off of you, his hands fidgeting as the other Avengers just watched, unsure of who this mysterious lady who just fell out of their elevator was. Bucky looked up, staring at Steve.

“Steve, it's her. It's the girl I told you about, who helped me escape HYDRA. Please, help her.” He said the last words begging, pleading with Steve to help you. As the connections clicked in Steve's head, he demanded orders to the other Avengers, not sparing any time.

“Bruce, get the med-bay ready, tell them it’s a deep wound through the stomach, prep them for her. Nat, get a stretcher. Sam, get a blanket and a towel.” Steve said, sounding ever like the infamous Captain America.

As you looked up at Bucky again, all you could think to say was an apology. “Bucky. Bucky, I’m so sorry, I’m so sor-” Your words were cut short with a cough, as you heaved, Bucky only replied with a few words of his own. 

“It’s ok, we can talk about this when you’re better, please, just get better, please.” You saw the look in his eyes, the same one he had when you were first tortured at HYDRA, the look he gave you when he saw you in pain, the look he gave you when you got shot, the look that said he wanted to take all your pain away, the look that said he wanted to tell you something, something he needed to say when you were better. 

Time seemed to still, until it didn’t, until you were back in the elevator, still holding Bucky's hand, still staring at his eyes, just now on a stretcher, being transported to whatever medical bay they had. 

Eventually, you made it there, being rushed with people shouting orders and surrounding you, spilling medical terms you had never heard before now. As you passed the bright lights, you saw a pair of double doors, and heard a nurse telling Bucky that he couldn’t go back there, that it was for medical personnel only. You gave his hand a squeeze, forcing him to look down at you, his eyes wider than before, like he was scared that if he let you go, you would flatline, that he would lose you again, and that he couldn’t go through that again, not when he finally got you back. You just looked at him, staring back at his eyes, giving him a small nod, one that told him you were going to be ok, one that said he needed to let go of your hand, one that said everything you never could, one that said 3 words you had been begging yourself to say before you split. Finally, he tore his hand away from yours, his eyes still on yours, never leaving you until the nurses and doctors rolled you away, passed the doors he couldn’t go through. That was when the adrenalin wore off, that was when you passed out from pain, from exhaustion, and from the satisfaction of seeing him one more time before you died.

What you didn’t see, was Bucky breaking down outside of those damned double doors, how he sobbed, louder than he had since you left. What you didn’t see was the way Steve held him, the way he helped him get up and sit in a chair. What you didn’t see was the way you flatlined two times before being stable again. What you didn’t see was the relief Bucky had when the nurses told him it was going to be okay, and that you would recover. What you didn’t see was the way Bucky talked about you to Steve.

“She was the light at the end of my dark tunnel. She was what got me through the day at HYDRA. She was, is, and always will be the reason I am currently here. She was the first person I thought I could spend the rest of my life with. She is the person I still think I can spend the rest of my life with. She would light up a room with a smile, she would crack shitty jokes that no one but me and her thought was funny. She would take endless pain, just so I would go unscathed. She would witness my tears after I would be punished for failing a mission, and she wouldn’t say anything, just hold me. Steve, I can’t live without her man. She kept me going, she still keeps me going. I haven’t stopped looking for her. I need to tell her I love her, Steve.” He said all of those words with the purest honesty Steve had ever seen, and that's saying something, since he is “America's Golden Boy” after all. 

“She's going to be ok, Buck, the doctor already said that. You just need to wait.” Steve couldn’t bear to see his friend like this, like he lost the love of his life, but in a way, he kind of did. 

Once the doctor walked back into the waiting room, Bucky jumped up, all of the tiredness washing off of his body, it all running down from his head, to his torso, to his legs, his feet, and down to the floor. 

“She’s awake, still recovering, but awake. If you would like to see her, you can, just one at a time.” As soon as the doctor spoke those words, Bucky was up and out of the waiting room, flying down the hallway, looking in every single room, until he saw you. Once he found your room, he suddenly felt like his heart was going to fall out of his chest and onto the floor. He felt like his legs would give out. He suddenly felt extremely anxious, and worried about what you would say. 

He decided to become the strong soldier he was made to be, knocking on your door, watching you slowly turn your head, seeing the scratches on your face, the dried blood that still littered across your hands and up your arms. He looked at your eyes, seeing the hidden emotion behind them, the pain you went through to be here. He wanted to ask every question, every single one, but no words would come out of his mouth. He was left standing there with his mouth open, his mouth moving to form words that wouldn’t come out. 

“Y’know, if you keep your mouth open you might catch a fly or two, would be a handsome look on you.” You said, with such casualness, it was like you had never left, and nothing had happened between you two, nothing had changed, like you weren’t lying here after almost bleeding out in his arms. “Bucky…” No other words came to your mind, no other words could form in your head, no other expression besides a sad, regretful smile. 

Bucky just looked at you, this time with his mouth shut, not long after he opened it again though, this time with the words. “How are you, besides the obvious? What have you been up to? What happened? Why didn’t you stay? What did you want to tell me earlier?” As he kept spilling questions, you had to slow him down, his repetitive questions starting to confuse you.

“Bucky, slower, please.” You said looking at him with a softness you only held for him, one that was still only his. “I’ll start with those questions, ask more later, okay?” He only nodded. “I’m okay, better now.” You said, your hand inching towards his own from muscle memory. He stared down at your hand, not moving a muscle. “I went back to my roots, became an assassin, but under my own rules. What happened is I bent one of those rules, one exception, and it got me here. Was supposed to be easy, in and out, but it went sideways, a bomb blew up as I was getting out of the building, I wasn’t far enough, I got blasted into another building.” As you finished, you ignored his last question for a moment, focusing on his eyes, his face, his clothes, everything about him had changed, that was expected, but it was still a shock to see. 

He just stared at you, waiting for you to finish, to answer his last question. With a sigh, and a deep breath, you got prepared to answer him. “I wanted to say that I was sorry. I never should’ve left you, I should’ve stayed with you. You were my everything. I was scared that the Avengers wouldn’t accept me, and they would separate us. I couldn’t, wouldn’t, let that happen. Under no circumstances.” You took another deep breath, as a tear slowly fell down your face, down your cheek, yet before it could hit your clothes, a finger swiped it away, as softly as you had 2 years ago. Bucky just stared at you, waiting for you to either be done speaking, or finish your thought. “I’m so sorry Bucky, I’m so, so, so sorry. I get it if you want me to leave, I just needed help, and this was the closest, and I wanted to see you again. I wanted to apologize, I wanted to tell you how sorry I was, and how I regret ever leaving.” You finished with sobs hitting your body, each one feeling like you couldn’t breathe. 

When you finished, he inched his hand slightly closer to yours, meeting your pinky finger, which he wrapped his own around. “Don’t leave. When you left, it was like everything fell apart. I wanted to go with you, but I couldn’t, I knew I needed to be here, that they could and would help me. I never stopped looking for you, I tried to track you down, but every lead, no matter how small I got, went cold within days of me finding it. I wanted to track you down, so I could try to get you back again, so you could meet the people I’ve met, and so you could be happy, and safe. I wanted us to live a life together that we never had the chance to have before. I wanted to give you everything, and I think I still do. I want you to stay, I want you to be here, with me. Please. I still need you, I want you here, please.” As he spoke, he looked at your eyes, the same pleading look from years ago. 

“Bucky, how will this work, we’ve both been hurt, damaged, and put together again more times than I can count.” When you spoke, his determination only grew.

“What if this is the final time? What if we put each other back together again, and never fall apart again? What then? I’ll tell you, then we’re happy, then we rebuild the same friendship from before. I still love you, I always have. Just give me the chance to show you.” When he was done he gave you the chance to turn him down, turn him down and walk away yet again. Instead, you only held his hand tighter, he saw the look in your eyes, contemplating every option, every decision, every play, and every outcome. 

“If, and this is only if, I stay, would we work through this? Talk about everything that happened?” You spoke softly, allowing him to think it over. 

“Of course.”

Those words confirmed everything for you, everything you were overthinking, everything you worried about, and everything you wanted.

“Okay, let's do it.” You smiled at him softly, taking his whole hand instead of his pinky in yours, feeling the new marks and scratches, feeling the roughness that never felt softer than now. 

It would take time, but time was something you could spare, being without each other would kill you both eventually. You had all the time in the world, and eventually, it would be just like old times, but for now, this would be perfect, as perfect as your past, present, and future could be.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I'm so sorry if this seems rushed, I'm honestly not even sure how many people will read this, but I've always wanted to try writing, so I gave it a go in the only way I know how, through fanfiction.

I hope you guys enjoy it, and I hope it reaches the right people, if not that's perfectly fine.

Have a great day/night <3

[joudama]

That’s why it feels so hollow and unfair when the person from the city you didn’t save gets so mad at you, especially with how Lucanis just won’t forgive you (and let’s not even talk about how so many of the women in Veilguard are super forgiving and coddling - even Harding makes excuses for Solas - but only the man stays mad and won’t forgive you. That is a whole other can of worms I’m not opening even for Assan), when you literally split the team and the only difference is where you personally went.

The only way it makes sense is if the game is saying every one of this team of supposed experts is actually incompetent unless you are personally there directing them. (Which, honestly, given the absolute state of the AI and how companions on their own will do a spitball’s worth of damage or wander around aimlessly, maybe that is what they’re trying to say.)

I know they were trying to do a “choices have consequences” type thing, but it shouldn’t result in frustration/irritation. I’ve never been just irritated at a character being mad at and snippy with me for a choice like I was with Veilguard, and it’s because it fundamentally feels unfair and like it doesn’t make sense on a basic level. It doesn’t make sense to be so mad at Rook because the game hasn’t explained why Rook specifically is so important and needs to be there. It doesn’t make sense because the exact same number of people from the team went to both cities. It doesn’t make sense for Neve or Lucanis to only blame you and no one else, especially Lucanis not holding it against Neve if you’re a Shadow Dragon Rook and you basically did the same thing Neve did. It doesn’t make sense for the dragon to have flown off from one city and not the other just because Rook was there - even assuming the dragon didn’t leave at the same time, because thanks to the eluvians, you can get to the other city almost immediately, and there’s no dragon there anymore, so it seems like Ghilan’nain called them both off at the same time.

And as for the dagger excuse some folks came up with, well, it would have made more sense, if Ghilan’nain wanted that dagger and knew you had it, to have called the OTHER dragon to where you are and the city you went to ends up the one that gets fucked up because now two dragons are attacking it. Can you imagine how much better that would have played out, story wise? Instead of the person being mad at you because you didn’t help, they AND you are guilty because you’re the direct cause of their city being destroyed? Then them also lashing out at you makes more sense, because it really is directly because of you, even if you didn’t know it, mixed with their own feelings of guilt and grief needing an outlet and target. And imagine THAT being part of the prison of regret thing - you literally have the destruction of a city on your conscious in a way you don’t in the current version.

Oh, but there I go, wanting actual nuance and conflict, and can’t have that.

A big reason why the Minrathos vs Treviso "choice" feels so weird to me is because I sent 3 people to Minrathos and 3 people to Treviso. So really I didn't make a choice at all except to choose where Rook specifically should go. Why is Rook singled out as the reason the fight in one city went better than in the other, and not one of the other companions?

And that got me thinking.

Why are half the companions always just sitting around doing nothing anyway? (in-universe i mean. I know the reason is gameplay.)

In the Minrathos vs the Treviso choice, we have 2 teams working at the same time in different locations, so it is possible.

Admittedly, none of these kinds of game ever give a reason a team can only have 3-4 people in it, so we take this as a given. But like. In the previous Dragon Age games it didn't feel weird that only the PC can do these quests, and the other companions just tag along.

In Origins, the PC is the only Grey Warden willing to lead a team.

In DA2, they aren't even saving the world! Hawke is just doing that stuff as a hobby and asking their friends for help. And the friends don't sit around doing nothing when they aren't with Hawke, they have their own lives!

In Inquisition, the Inquisitor is the only one who can seal the breaches, and they even put in a gameplay mechanic where certain tasks are delegated via the War Table. (Though, as I did complain about at the time, some more tasks could have been delegated. Looking at you, collect 10 elfroot)

But in DAtV? Why the hell aren't we dividing up all that work, all those quests? The companions in the Lighthouse have fuckall to do except cook and read! They could be out there!

Now, I'm not saying they SHOULD be out there, that would be ridiculous, gameplay-wise. But uhhh I WOULD appreciate it if the writing gave me a reason why they aren't. What makes Rook so special anyway??

[boysborntodie]

I fucking love Dally and Ponyboy’s friendship when you don’t have a bitch in your ear saying that it’s the exact same as Dally and Johnny’s

[triglycercule]

can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,

they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this

ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))

ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money

and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???

[floralovebot]

helia is obv meant to be androgynous and bishounen but I get why people would think he was designed to be a woman initially because his name is a woman's name actually. helia is a girls name. also, compared to avalon or other long haired characters, he's also somewhat more different.

I don't think it's too far fetched. some language groups like greek fans could have other pov. in latin american spanish his name was changed to helio for this very reason.

i know his name is feminine. that still means nothing tbh

sky is a popular girl's name in the west. does that mean he's automatically a girl? like no of course not. no one is arguing that sky is a woman just because of his name. griffin is a masculine latin name. don't see anyone questioning her. if his name is the Only proof people have that helia was meant to be a girl, that's weak when other characters also have feminine/masculine names that don't align with their canon gender.

also, you need to ask yourself, what is different about helia? like actually answer that question. what exactly makes helia different from characters like palladium, valtor, or avalon. it's not his body - helia has the same muscular body the other specialists have and he's one of the few male characters we see shirtless on screen. it can't be pacifism - he's not a pacifist and pacifism is not a feminine trait. it can't be art or poetry - neither of those things are feminine traits/hobbies. it can't be his fashion - he's just wearing a shirt and jeans. if anything his wardrobe would be considered more masculine compared to the crop tops the other specialists are wearing (even for the time). it can't be his personality - nabu is also wiser and gentler, timmy is also a simp, brandon is also caring.

so what exactly makes helia different from other long haired male characters?

nothing. that's your answer.

the only thing that makes helia So different is that other long haired male characters are often coded as white Or specifically have darker skin, so fans don't feel the need to question their masculinity (which is a Whole other discussion). helia is not coded as white. even fans who don't consciously realize it are still picking up on that coding. these white fans then feel comfortable questioning his masculinity because they've done that to men of color for decades. it's not just asian men either. white people love to question the masculinity of all men of color, regardless of race or skin color. that's how they demean them. how they separate them from white men. they uphold certain racial and gender stereotypes and then demean any man who "doesn't fit that". which in their eyes, is all men of color.

it's like this: man of color doesn't adhere to western/white/european cultural standards > white people realize, don't like, insult them, and try to make them feel like they need to adhere > white men prioritize the patriarchy and feel the need to glorify it > in order to insult men of color, they specifically call out and question their masculinity > white people around the world think this is genuinely innocent because it focuses on gender instead of race > white racists get away with it

listen, i know at first this seems like a really harmless and maybe even amusing topic. "oh helia is so pretty people think he's a girl ahahah". and for some fans it is genuinely harmless. they just think he's too pretty to be a man. and then they realize, laugh it off, and don't question it again.

unfortunately, that's not the case for a lot of other fans. it's not innocent. it's not harmless. it's white people picking up on racial coding and questioning his identity because of it. you guys don't do this to other characters. you don't do it to sky, who also has a "feminine" name. you don't do it to palladium, who is slimmer and has a gentler, nicer personality. you don't do it to saladin. or nabu. or ogron. or gantlos. or anagan. or tritannus. or nereus. or king neptune. or king teredor.

all of those names are male characters with long hair.

i know it's nice to assume that this is innocent and genuine. but unfortunately, that's not the case. this is an example of something that isn't innocent for a majority of adult, white fans. even if they're not doing it On Purpose. subconscious bias is called that for a reason.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

rewatching 13s era for me is not so much diminishing returns as it is something opposite and eviler...............increasing losses? increasing losses

[northern-passage]

Genuine thought as a fellow trans dude, I’ve seen a lot of (obviously non-serious) questions on other blogs about characters’ genitals such as “how does it look like?” and similar, and I think we all know & understand that such questions are extremely inappropriate to ask and (I hope) no one would actually go around asking these questions irl. Idk, I think we should treat trans characters just like cis ones, without any special “precautions”, so to normalise them and not make cis people treat them like fragile boxes, a thing which happens to a lot of us irl. Hope this doesn’t come off as an attack or anything lol.

no worries, i didn't take this as an attack at all. i actually agree with you, that's why i mentioned feeling conflicted about it and also mentioned that i've changed my stance on how i felt about handling Noel and Clementine in game and in explicit intimate scenes.

however, for me the problem comes from the fact that people... don't ask these kinds of questions about cis characters? i suppose people do get cheeky "who is the biggest 🤪" asks but i would hardly compare the two. to be a bit crude, no one is going to be asking if a cis character has a dick or not, or "what does it look like". of course it's natural for people to be curious, and i honestly encourage the open discussion and am happy to see trans bodies being talked about more in a positive way, but not everyone is going to be comfortable with it due to the inescapable transphobia online and in the community. sending me that kind of ask is like sending out an invitation for a debate or a discussion that i don't necessarily want to have. i also just don't think people should default to asking a random IF author on tumblr dot com to describe what bottom growth looks like.

and with most of these asks typically coming from someone who is anonymous, i have no way of truly knowing what the tone is, what their intentions are or why this is being asked - is it another trans person? or maybe someone who is just genuinely curious? or, more likely in my experience, is it someone who is going to immediately follow up this message with something transphobic after i answer? do i want to roll the dice and find out?

so while i agree with what you're saying, it's important to consider the context and the reality we live in. the IF community is not kind to trans people or trans characters. and as a trans person, my first priority is protecting myself and my mental health. so what i mean when i say "precautions," is that those precautions are for me, because i've had to deal with transphobic harassment here for years now, and i try to mitigate it as much as i can. it's also for my personal comfort - again, to be blunt, i'm simply just not comfortable discussing a trans character's genitals with anonymous strangers on the internet. it makes me feel vulnerable.

also i do want to say i didn't mean for any of that to come across as a dig at other authors - if you're comfortable answering those kinds of questions, that's really only something you can decide for yourself. like i said, this is just coming from my own experiences in IF and for my own personal comfort - i have previously talked a lot about trans stuff and gender and sexuality here, when i'm feeling up to it, but it is something that is very draining for me and can also be very upsetting.

basically: i do agree that it's important not to other trans characters or treat them any differently than cis characters, but i also think there are ways to do it that don't require me answering invasive questions or questions that i don't feel comfortable with as a real life trans person, you know what i mean?

[ratatatastic]

no im still on maffhew calling the forsymaffhew lovechild a missile

[milfbrainrot]

have always been a bit more neutral to timebomb but it has rly surprisingly grown on me so much ;-; i think i do see it more from the tragedy angle and maybe more one-sided. i'm not sure jinx has ever been in a place to reciprocate the feelings i'm sure ekko has, but it is nice to think about for years down the line and in terms of what could have been.

[orcelito]

Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.

But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I love all of these goofy product photos where the water bottle is extremely obviously just photoshopped onto a stock image of someone pretending to hold something or whatever.. very convincing..