#like what? so what if she was? but ig at least id have somewhere to go back to. SOME kind of safety net within my family

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Stressed stressed stressed

[teethkid67]

i havent said anything personally on the situation bc im not sure that its my place & not sure what my next move is .

first off shelby has been incredibly brave and as someone who doesn't watch her and hasnt ever, ive felt mostly that it was best for me to be supportive in a quiet way & that it wasnt my place to give my input . most of all i didnt want to reduce her solely to her abuse and "victimhood" as to me it feels extremely counterproductive to post only about that when she is obviously more than what she went through . it felt disingenuous to begin posting about it as if i was someone who's always cared about shubbles content when honestly im not . bc at the end of the day its not about me and its not about her abuser , its about shubble and ive never been a member of her community .

i dont want my silence to be interpreted as me not caring about the situation or not believing her because i do ; i don't want to speak where my voice isnt needed or could take away from others . from some of the responses ive been seeing though i feel its far more important to listen to and boost her voice than be quiet .

i dont want to talk about him because ultimately this is about platforming shelby and what shes gone through . that said i HAVE watched, posted about and supported her all-but-named abuser , so im involved at least on that level and i want to say i am horrified by the abuse shubble has described.

the general reaction to her coming forward i have seen on this site and others , from one end of the spectrum (she hasnt said his name so we cant know / its not that bad / blatant excuses and defense of him) to the other (leaktwt / posts about how hes always been a creep / jumping down the throats of anyone who words their thoughts in a way they deem wrong) has been horrifying to witness . some of the most unproductive commentary ive seen on an issue like this and i was here from cmc to drm .

im deeply upset and feel i should say somewhere that some of the shit ive seen is unacceptable and contradictory to shelbys initial point, which i understand to be 2 things: 1) highlighting how abuse is not always obvious, or 'normal', and ways to recognize these situations as a victim 2) to highlight her own personal experiences and to stop both her own abuser and others from being platformed .

mcytdom is NOTORIOUS for "drama" like this and similarly well-known for being unable to boost / listen to / BELIEVE victims or at least leave them the fuck alone . to anyone who's ever been groomed or abused, esp my mutuals who have received extremely insensitive messages and feedback in wake of this , my heart goes out to you and i hope you are doing alright & know how appreciated and strong you are . shelby, niki, and other victims of abuse should be listened to and celebrated for both their bravery and strength and for who they are as people .

on a more personal note heres ig what im going to do going forward

this is my blog & im not leaving it , wont be deleting any posts either , mutuals id love to stay in touch if youre moving out or moving on .

very likely ill still be here in the smp hell . just gonna have to see how i feel about it all . in the three and a half years ive been drawing reading and writing about these characters a lot has changed including my perspective . ultimately tho its not about me

general message i want to get across is that im glad shelby is healing and getting the help she needs, as well as doing well enough to help others recognize the signs . love you my mutuals and friends and followers . take care of yourselves

[splatoon-edits]

Garlic anon here,

Got any predictions or hopes for Side Order since it's releasing in just 2 weeks?

(Personally I'm hoping other octoling DJs like Paul and Warabi show up somewhere somehow, also hoping for an Agent 4 cameo)

OH MY GOD YEAH I DO!

HI GARLIC ANON NICE TO SEE YOU THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RAMBLE BECAUSE I AM GOING TO EXPLOSE IN ANTICIPATION OF SIDE ORDER

Agent 4. First and foremost this is the top of my list. I would love to have them appear in full 3d (and be available to see/have their own dedicated place on the map like captain 3 is cuz i want to take pictures. but thats less important) but honestly at this point ill even take them just being mentioned. it would suck if they were the only agent to not show up at all in 3 but like PLEASE JUST LET ME KNOW THEY ARE OK AND WELL WHERE DID YALL LEAVE 4 ARE THEY JUST STATIONED ELSEWHERE ARE THEY FOCUSING ON PERSONAL/NON NSS STUFF PLEASE MENTION MY DARLING BABY- ahem sorry im very normal

No dedf1sh villain :( i mean i ould be fine with it from a storytelling point if its good. but like. i want to imagine acht being ok after all this. pls let her be fine and ok. like on one hand it would be cool. but on the other hand... thats my baby pls dont make her evil :(

NO MARINA VILLAIN EITHER. well like. this is more subjective. but like. no like intentional "i wanna take over the world and do harm" kind of villain. if shes responsible for the bad stuff in an indirect or unintentional way id be ok w that. like idk she tried to do smth and it got out of hand? but if its just "ooh isure do hate the splatfest results so now im gonna turn evil >:(" kind of thing i just dont think it would fit her character.

some kind of reward. beyond just beating the dlc obviously. like. its meant to be played over and over and over again, right? i want some sort of reward(s) to work toward to incentivize that. idk i just want smth else to work towards besides just salmon run scales or playing pvp.

im also really looking forward to seeing pearl and 8 together again. i just feel like pearl being the one giving the advice and guidance, potentially without having a voice of reason like marina, is going to be very fun. she says the funniest most unhinged stuff. i adore pearl and i cannot wait to see her.

IM ALSO RLLY LOOKING FORWARD TO FIGHTING ALONGSIDE PEARL. it was SO much fun having little buddy in hero mode. like just having a lil companion who helps u in video games is the best.

at this point i think its time to retire the octoling enemies unless we have a reason for them. they barely made any sense at all in 3, and unless they do something creative with them i just dont think they have a place as enemies again. luckily none of the trailers show enemy octolings, so fingers crossed we don't have to beat up poor mind controlled octolings for a third time.

ok i know not everyone agrees with this. and given how side order looks so far, i dont think/actually want it to happen. but it would be nice to get more deep cut content. we didnt get to actually spend time with them in story mode. they were just antagonists the whole time and then once they joined the players side we got immediately thrust into the final parts of story mode. they didnt really get a chance to shine as friends rather than foe. but ig we already get tosee that on the splatcast. and the story mode is rlly just to show the other side of them we dont get to see on air. so at this point from what we know about side order, it wouldnt make any sense for themto be there. they dont know 8. but early on before we got any trailers and all we knew was that there was going to be a dlc with off the hook,,,, i was hoping for a deep cut cameo... now we have no way for deep cut and off the hook to meet after this. like deep cut and the squid sisters know each other and get along(?). and we know marina is a huge squid sisters fan, and pearl at least knows of them. Plus pearl and marina have met capn cuttlefish and made friends w him. so were probably able to infer that off the hook and the squid sisters have hung out more since octo expansion. i think there is even official art of them together in multiple pictures? so they are obviously friends now. but deep cut and off the hook dont know each other.... SO HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET A DEEP CUT, SQUID SISTERS, AND OFF THE HOOK CONCERT. I NEED INTERACTIONS WITH THEM.

honestly i hope they lean into the like... vibes of it all. but this is splatoon. the art and music always gives 130%. like its always good. theres nothing to rlly worry about there.

ok so im hopeing this isnt going to be some fully disconected alternate timeline where none of this affects the normal timeline or characters. im still partial to my own theory of the whole thing being a simulation built by marina in her hopes to see what a world of order would look like. but marina got stuck in it (or is refusing to leave maybe?) it would be unclear to 8 and pearl where in the simulation she is or if she is even here of her own free will or not. so u know 8 also goes into the simulation. and pearl probably doesnt go in, but is able to control the pearl bot from outside the simulation so that she can still interact with the real world. i mean pearl can cover for marina, but if both famous idols suddenly went missing it would be a pretty big panic. or maybe theres some other reason why pearl cant be in there fully. or she is in the simulation fully but for whatever reason she is in the pearlbot form. anyway this would allow us to have the fun of an alternate timeline while the characters are still from out timeline.

SPEAKING OF. if we do get the whole "our version of the characters AND alternate version of the character" thing. i want alternate marina to be the villain. like maybe marina in the simulation/alternate world didnt mean to be a villain, but in her quest for order and safety she ended up hurting others sel expression and creativity and all that. but our marina finds her and is like yo maybe this is... not a great thing. but alternate marina doesnt listen. this would be interesting cuz then pearl and 8 could get messages from marina that seem out of character but nope its just alternate marina boom big reveal. idk man.

ive realized im more theorizing than talking about what i want to see at this pint. so i should uh... probably end it here. cuz i can theorize all day but no ones gonna know whats right till it comes out. anyway yeah my biggest thing i want is probably an incintive of some kind to play over and ver.

also it 5 in the mornaling and i have not slept. so if you see grammar/pselling mistakes? no you didnt. dont ask why im awake(couldnt sleep so i figured id come check tumblr and try and get more requests done but i only actually ot one thing done before egting sidetracked by this ask)

[krunchylegs]

literal yap

i am so mad at myself bc i feel like ive basically reset my progress, ive walked a lot today (18k steps) but i feel sick rn bc i overate. i literally planned out my meals but when i was out i ate twice and then i was like, 'itll be fine ill skip dinner and it wont be too much' but then i ate dinner bc i played badminton (which im happy to get back into) but i think that made me hungry, and then i made myself breakfast and lunch for tomorrow and atm im using a protein powder with fat free greek yogurt and peanut butter mix for my breakfast (it is not low cal unfortunately but idk how to make it any lower and i dont want to remove the peanut butter). but anyways, thats what ive been eating for breakfast since like today basically, but i like it a lot and i wanted to eat it so bad but i knew id be so pissed and i was gonna just wait but then i decided to be an idiot and just made another serving of it and ate it and i didnt even measure anything properly and now i feel so dumb😭😭 im trying to give myself a little bit of slack bc today was super stressful for me bc im starting college and today was my first day and theres been a little family issues recently and i felt like shit and super emotional today so i think that might be why i just gave in to my cravings, its not even actual hunger its just what my brain wants not what my body is even asking for.

im not going to let this stop me tho, failing is just apart of the process ig 💔

also i was thinking about beginning ballet as an adult, ive only had a few classes when i was really little but ive been obsessed with ballet for like 2 or 3 years now and i felt too old to start but now im 18 and im like damn i couldve started during that time and i wouldve at least been somewhere with it by now 😭 but who cares, ik ballet is one of those things that most ppl only do if they grew into it but i feel like i didnt really get the chance to have a feel for it and if i hate it then at least i tried it. and ik its hard and ik itll be difficult but for me its more about having fun so yeah, im gonna ask my mum soon if i can join a class, she basically said that this year is my year to get all of my artsy stuff out of the way :/ so i may as well try pick something up to do. i just hope im not as isolated this year. i hated 6th year (final yr of highschool), literally no friends 😭 but like fr no one talked to me and i was so isolated it literally felt weird to talk for more than a few seconds. hopefully itll be different this time and i can make some friends, being lonely sucks so hard and its so cringe too like wdym ur in the bathroom stall the whole lunch period bc you dont want to eat + u got no friends, like bruh.

that school food was nasty tho idk why mfs were genuinely running for it...

[isa-ah]

what to do when your anger at a situation is entirely justified but that doesn't change a thing and while there's nothing you can actually do about it the situation is still steeply ongoing.

[yuukei-yikes]

Is kagepro an anime? I wanna get into the series but I don’t know where to start (and honestly all i know about it is the stuff that you post, shout out to that white hair malewife and black hair girlboss you always post about)

GOD OK UM SO kagepro is really one of those things that are. just messy.

this is my pinned, so i’m putting it under read more!

What is kagerou project, should i get into it, how do i get into it?........... let me tell you about it!

originally? it started as vocaloid series, as in a story told thrusongs, then it had a manga adaptation, anime and novels. they all vary a lil bit with consistency tho tell the same story. and that is because… each media represents a “route” the characters go through. yep. it’s a “time reset” kinda story! kagepro its what i like to call a clump story. just a bunch of stories put together. u take longer delving into each character's backstory rather than the actual main plot ig?? like, knowing everyone's backgrounds Builds the present story. it is difficult to explain 1 thing without explaining another and so on..

if you want to start somewhere I recommend listening to the songs in order, many have very cool music videos also the songs are VERY VERY GOOD.

the manga i recommend up until volume 4 chapter 18. after that it gets TOO confusing because it goes into a route thats only explored in this adaptation, while its kinda important if u REALLY wanna jump into the world of kagepro, it is VERY VERY confusing at first, like a LOT happens and differs significantly from the regular routes(and as an old fan i really was not into it that much but that’s aside the point) but the manga in the first 4 volumes at least puts the beginning more in perspective

and only then id recommend watching the anime cuz without all this the anime is VERY confusing lol the novels are good but theyre wholeass BOOKS yknow. there are 8 so it is not beginner friendly if u rly dont wanna tap into it lol even some seasoned fans haven't read them. that’s my casual kagepro fan guide. but.....

but if in the end u rly become interested and u end up reading them... hey, ur here already, and i know i told u not to finish the manga but if u just read 8 light novels i guess ur ok with reading 9 more volumes of manga!!!! and then... i’d watch the anime? because the anime, believe it or not, as shitty and as ugly as it is... possesses the GOOD ending. and bc u read 8 novels, 13 manga volumes and listened to like 5 song albums, u can watch and actually know what’s going on and u are very happy at the end bc after ALL THAT u get to see the good ending.

BY THE WAY AS FOR THE PLOT... as i said, a clump story. kagerou project isn't only difficult to understand when it comes to all its different medias, the story ITSELF is as convoluted as it comes! hurray! but the basics is, shintaro kisaragi is a shut in ever since his hs best friend ayano tateyama committed suicide. he goes out for the first time in 2 years and runs into some funny quirky people who might've been involved in ayano's life, who in return was involved in fun quirky sci-fi shit about..wow? superpowers?! maybe her suicide wasnt driven by depression but by....(SPOILER CUT)? or was it? join shintaros man angst as he learns about everything ayano left behind! you'll cry! its a REALLY sad story! with lovely characters such as:

kido kano and seto! ayano's little siblings! kido is the leader. of what? good question! kano is gay and hates shintaros guts. seto? he has jobs and better things to do. he likes dogs.

momo! shintaros little sister! she is.. a famous idol?! and... DEPRESSED?!

mary! token cute character who is...relevant to the plot!? and even...A PLOT POINT!?!

hibiya! a 12 year old who ended up here for some reason! also equally as important depending on the route, his best friend hiyori! dont worry about it. 

konoha! we dont know who this guy is. well. we do. but thats a spoiler so dont tell!!!!

and of course our lovely deuteragonist, ene!! the funny little AI living in shintaros phone who TOTALLY didnt use to be human and has a sob story of her own and totally isnt related to the mystery of konohas existence. kagepro!! call now!! ITS AWFUL IN HERE!

[bcalrights]

✿ * · ( kennedy walsh  ,  cisfemale  ,  she/they   )   a  little  birdy  told  me  soleil marcus  just  moved  to  sunset  hills  .  have  you  met  them  yet  ? they  look  somewhere  around  twenty-two ,   if  i  had  to  guess  !  pretty  sure  i  heard  them  driving  down  the  street  playing  kool girl  by  seasalt  ,  they  sounded  a  little  pitchy  but  they  had  the  spirit  !  must  be  their  favorite  or  something  .  hey  …  it  looks  like  they  just  moved  into  midnight park  .  have  you  heard  about  what  they  do  for  a  living  ?  someone  told  me  they’re  a  music production major  ,  but  who  knows  if  that’s  even  true  .  guess  we’re  just  gonna  have  to  wait  and  see  .  nervous  ? maybe  you  should  be  .  sunset  speaks  just  posted  about  them  …  apparently  they're  resident  id  11  ?  between  you  and  me  ,  i  think  that  might  spark  some  things  in  the  community  …  but  what  do  i  know  !  you  guys  might  get  along  just  fine  !

howdy howdy !! name’s ryan (they/them), and this is my little french menace, soleil. you guys are welcome to plot with me either here or on discy !! let’s boogey

s  t  a  t  i  s  t  i  c  s  

full  name ,  nicknames  :  soleil claudia marcus  ,  sol, so-so

age  ,  dob  ,  zodiac :  twenty-two  , october 28  ,  scorpio

hometown  :  lyon  ,  france

gender  ,  pronouns :  cisfemale  , she / they

orientation  :  bisexual , biromantic

height :  5′7″

relationship status :  single

occupation  :  music production major

positive traits  :  bubbly  ,  spontaneous  ,  outgoing  ,  kind-hearted  ,  brave  .

negative traits  :  naive  ,  emotional  ,  manipulative  ,  talkative  ,  impulsive .

language(s)  spoken  :  english  -  fluent   ,   french  -  fluent

similar  characters  :  satine  (  moulin rouge  )  ,  carrie bradshaw (  sex & the city )  ,  sloane peterson  (  ferris bueller’s day off  )  ,  serena van der woodsen   (  gossip girl  )  ,  sarah cameron  (  outer banks  )  , audrey horne  (  twin peaks  )

aesthetics  :   being wrapped in the comforting scent of lavender, purple under eyes giving away yet another sleepless night, the hum of a bass guitar, paint stained sneakers, the sound of rollerskates on pavement, the bitterest and hottest cup of black coffee you can find, hating your mom but also missing your mom, perpetual eye rolling, ordering a strawberry milkshake at any diner no matter what

TLDR: soleil marcus moved to the states about nine years ago thanks to a nosy neighbor realizing her parents skipped town and had been ‘neglecting’ her. she lived with her stupidly rich aunt up until her move to sunset hills, ca. has a band called peachshift who she’d kill for.

a  b  o  u  t (tw: childhood neglect ig)

soleil was born to cora dupont and jean marcus in lyon, france, and is the result of two teenagers who’d apparently missed the memo on birth control. neither sets of their parents were willing to house the new family, causing them to move out into their own one bedroom apartment.

she doesn’t remember her childhood, but from what she’s heard from aunt charlotte.. it was never pretty. neither her mother or her father knew what they were doing, and that was from an outsider’s perspective. the fact she doesn’t have a clear memory of a single moment of it makes it all the more worrying. what happened to her first twelve years of existence?

it doesn’t matter, that’s what she tells herself at least. what matters is that one day, soleil had accidentally locked herself out of her apartment. when a neighbor helped her get inside, curiosity of their seemingly reclusive neighbors turned into disgust and worry— she’d been left to fend for herself for months. 

if it weren’t for her aunt charlotte, soleil would surely have been pushed into the foster system. charlotte, a corporate bigwig in manhattan, managed to pull some strings and have soleil relocated to new york city to live with her. 

her first official memory was at the age of thirteen. it was the taste of champagne at the met, if that’s any indication of her upbringing following the move to the united states.

she didn’t like talking about france, and not just because she couldn’t remember it. soleil was always worried that talking about it would bring back memories of her childhood. and honestly, she doesn’t want to fucking know.

throughout her teen years is where she fell in love with music. listening, playing, and eventually writing her own songs. falling in love with the rush of a concert, and what it would be like to be the one on stage, to have people sing along to the words you’d written.

and off to sunset hills she went! she majors in music production, and even has a band called peachshift (would love some bandmates for soleil please and thank you), where she plays guitar and sings. they sound similar to mitski, the regrettes, & the beths.

she’s bright, bubbly and can be a little bit spoiled sometimes, but at the end of the day soleil’s a pretty loyal friend. just.. don’t expect her to open up too much about her personal life.

[sir-beingmyself]

♟🔮🌙🧩?

Fav seasons, source stuff, non-humans, and sys name

Sys name is Brimstone Trident :D Not really bt system or collective or anything, it’s just, we’re a trident on cool fire xd

I think it’d be easier to tell ya who *isn’t* non-human, because when you’ve never felt like a person it’s hard to identify 😅 The dudes name is Aleksander and fuck-- I think it’s soon his 1 year anniversary of fucking off into the abyss xddd Somewhere jan and feb last year-- fuck it’s been a long time

Or ig we got Lisa? She doesn’t really, do the whole “relating to humans” thing though, and I think she had a virgin mary birth?? I don’t remember her source very well xdd *SO* take that into account how you will

We’ve got cookies, we’ve got demons, horses, robots, vampires, things with humans shapes that inherently identify with their non-human shape, doodles, a whole ass color-- Human people who identify as human people is not something you find here xddd

I should’ve added the seasons thing into the don’t list but i mustve missed it ._.

Cause of those previously mentioned complications I��m gonna just, make a sys wide guess as someone as host has met most ppl xd Being probably fall, lotta spooky boys around here and liking the other seasons would probably be a surprise compared to it

And lastly, source stuff, under keep reading cause this might get long .-.

I’m just letting the ones who want to talk come and talk and I can’t see if there’s a queue xddd

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh ig ill just, label them? xcc -- I’ll try to avoid any dialogue or we’ll be here for decades

Lyce - I have nothing for you other than appreciate my fucking wife. She’s Raven and we’ve been married for years.

Ah shit how many years o.o

Nvm it’s 6 we’ve been married for 6

We don’t have any grand memories it’s just if we’re talking source stuff then we’re technically in each others sources, and she’s the best source memory I’ve ever got

I’m being told I’m being overly positive clearly I haven’t done a good enough job being a wife to her

Retina / Iris (co-written) - O o o o o o o o source!!!! Ok so tldr me and retina are the twins from terraria, but it gets *crazier*

Lowkey just ignore that we’re one of those “human shapes that id w their non-human shape” and just act like we’re robots

Ok so yknow big wall guy? He used to be a mechanical scientist-- pfffffft if i know what he was actually up to all *I* know is that he created pretty much all of us bosses except for a small few-- but the dude did a big oopsie!! a big fucky wucky!! My guess is he tried to combine robot and flesh and something went a bit screwy and now he became the wall!! Which *sucks* but at least Kye kept us safe EoC

Rat - Wanna know a disaster? *Me*

What would you do if you were both 40 and 14, lived both in an irradiated wasteland but also on the moon and *on top of that* had a wife and a child that you both saw die? 

Only some of us get source memories, even fewer get weird ones, but not all of us can keep to a single consistent timeline

Which i mean I dont have an issue shits fine i barely think of it, it’d only be a problem if I met my wife or kid again which uh... hm... maybe I shouldnt tempt fate

T3chza - Speaking of single timelines, Rat’s got what, 3? If I don’t have a dozen I’d be shocked.

Fusion of Techno and Phil, with every possible combination under the sun + some additional ones.

Being husbands, being siblings, being father/son, being comrades, being war criminals, being good friends.   Mind you, all of these have the added variation of if I’m fused in my memories or if I’m separate.

I’m also one who very easily has my source adjusted to outside stimuli, both the coolest and strangest variation is where I’m turned into a hoglin and phil cares for me, and vice versa where he turns into a crow and techno (clarification I ID more with Techno side than Phil even though they’re both integral to me)

[grocerystoredean]

Dude i love the internet sometimss i go to someones blog and theyre like “sideblog is at x” and im like !!!???! DUDE???? Sometimes i think i know three people but they turn out to all be the same person on different accounts and it makes me love them more. Theres someone, like longtime friend, on my discord server who im not entirely sure is actually a separate person or another account for the same person but like. Ive known these people for like 3 years now so i cant really ask??

I feel like ive said this before but worst thing in the world is not knowing if something you do or experience is normal -

My sisters dog is growling at nothing right now but she was kinda asleep and now shes up and wagging her tail so probably im not about to get nerfed by a ghost. If i dont send this ask you’ll know ig.

- anyway so then youre googling hospital robots at two in the morning and for some reason the internet doesn’t know what you mean by that. Idk the human experience is so varied and seriously what how are there so many ways to do things the world is so crazy. I wanna live in the same house with someone i share no language with and see how that would work out. I think im pretty good at nonverbal communication and also it would be rad af to halfway not know whats going on half the time but it would be in a fun way this time. My neighbor, when i was bad at chinese or having trouble learning or whatever offered to drop me off on the streets of beijing and pick me up three days later, he said by then id know the language. At the time that scared me, and i dont know how good of an idea that specifically is but idk id do it. Its just so wild how many things there are yknow??

Honestly i feel like i had other funnier things to say but i cant remember any of them so instead how about you tell me how youre doing? How was your new year and being back at school and whatnot? Seen any cool critters?

omg hi dba! answer for this and the rest of ur asks under the cut!!!

i think u can ask. i dont think its that rude. its a wide internet out there. im really careful abt keeping track of sideblogs and im super weird abt like who i follow i have neuroses abt it and stuff but so anyway i do keep exact track of who is who. if i interact via a sideblog i constantly keep track.

as for the varied and wild human experience yes so much. i dont think its a good idea to do that but my dad said when he lived in south america for a little while as a kid he picked up spanish really quick so it's true. i love thinking about the complex inner lives of everyone around me. andrew garfield voice i think you could fall in love with anyone if you knew their story.

my new year was very boring lol i literally watched doctor who on da couch but it was good. as for critters i was getting high a while back (sorry kids. dont do drugs etc) and a deer literally came out of the woods and walked right by me. like it was not 5 feet from me i could have reached out and touched it. it was sososo cool.

okay so when u sent this i was actually blogging while on a discord call with tumblr user transfagshit / carriecoded and so we were a little incomprehensible on the dash. our blogs should be viewed together in tandem from that night in order to piece together any jokes

analyzing supernatural actually has nothing to do with being smart and everything to do with bullshitting. all analysis is going hey you know what would be funny. if i said this. i have a post somewhere that keeps being tagged as like meta and or whatever and i genuinely have no idea what i was saying. i typed it frantically at 1am. so clearly its at least a little bit bullshitting. its not exhausting at all because were all doing it as a bit. writing supernatural posts fills the hole in my heart that having not taken an english class in 2.5 years left. its a hobby.

fsdakjsfdlkjf thanks bro. it'll be okay. someone died recently. which hasnt been fun. but i'm okay. or i will be or whatever. life goes on etc. i'll be fine! nevertheless he blogged etc

the only thing with the omega variant is it is the last greek letter, which means we would have to do the million other variants first. which would suck. but god if we got there we would NEED the laugh. we earned the laugh. for getting through that. also dont apologize i love receiving ur asks!!! bussin. i feel like that word had a real cultural moment 5 months ago and i havent seen it since thank u for reminding me. i hope youre also having a lovely time wherever you are

[welcome-to-gaytown]

all of them

sheesh this was long

The meaning behind my url:

uhh i remember seeing a welcome to hadestown thingy somewhere and i wanted to change my url

A picture of me:

yeah no

How many tattoos i have and what they are:

none :(

Last time i cried and why:

literally an hour ago because uhh parents and crushes and bestfriends

Piercings i have:

both my ears

Favorite band:

none

Biggest turn offs:

no

Top 5 (insert subject):

?

Tattoos i want:

okay so theres gonna be one with different types of flowers going from mid calf to mid thigh and also i want a forearm sleeve. i want two daisies on my shoulder and a really big, intricate tattoo on my back that goes upto my neck

Biggest turn ons:

shutting this down

Age:

nope <3

Ideas of a perfect date:

just somewhere where it can be us being us instead of some public facade

Life goal:

getting out of this house

Piercings i want:

a regular nostril piercing and a lip ring

Relationship status:

single ig?

Favorite movie:

dont watch movies

A fact about my life:

it sucks whyd you phrase the question like this

Phobia:

none

Middle name:

mary

Height:

5'3

Are you a virgin?

not doing this

What’s your shoe size?

8

What’s your sexual orientation?

pan demi

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

i take pills each morning for my syndrome?

Someone you miss:

him

What’s one thing you regret?

letting my mom get this far gone

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:

taylor russel

Favorite ice cream? dont have one

One insecurity:

someone will get tired of my life being too shitty and leave me

What my last text message says:

idk i just feel like he doesnt really like me and ig i just feel like we are drifitng of some shit

Have you ever taken a picture naked? no

Have you ever painted your room? yes

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

my sister on her forehead

Have you ever slept naked? yes

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? no

Have you ever had a crush? @my best friends

Have you ever been dumped? no

Have you ever stole money from a friend?

they werent my friends

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

no

Have you ever been in a fist fight?

yes

Have you ever snuck out of your house?

kinda

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? @my best friends

Have you ever been arrested?

no but hopefully it doesnt run in our blood

Have you ever made out with a stranger?

nope

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

yep

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

yep

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

ew no

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

no

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

my brother when we stayed up being therapists to each other so we ended up passing out together

Have you ever seen someone die?

no

Have you ever been on a plane?

yes

Have you ever kissed a picture?

ew no

Have you ever slept in until 3?

pm or am because both

Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now?

yes what is this question make it grammatically correct

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yeah

Have you ever made a snow angel?

no

Have you ever played dress up?

no

Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

yeah its how id hone my thievery skills

Have you ever been lonely?

always, nothing is enough

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

yep

Have you ever been to a club?

no

Have you ever felt an earthquake?

no

Have you ever touched a snake?

kinda

Have you ever ran a red light?

my mom has while i was in the car

Have you ever been suspended from school?

close but no

Have you ever had detention?

yep but i managed to talk my way out of it

Have you ever been in a car accident?

yes

Have you ever hated the way you look?

haha boy if you knew

Have you ever witnessed a crime?

my dad-yes

Have you ever pole danced?

no??

Have you ever been lost?

mentally or physically bc yeah both

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

yep

Have you ever felt like dying?

always

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

crying makes me tired, it helps me go to sleep because most nights i dont sleep until like four am

Have you ever sang karaoke?

no

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

cut

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

ew no

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

my oldest sister?? we share a bed when she comes home from college

Have you ever kissed in the rain?

nope

Have you ever sang in the shower?

no

Have you ever made out in a park?

no

Have you ever dream that you married someone?

no

Have you ever glued your hand to something?

no

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

no

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked?

no

Have you ever been a cheerleader?

no

Have you ever sat on a roof top?

no

Have you ever brush your teeth?

id be scared of myself if i said no

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?

no

Have you ever played chicken?

yes

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

yes

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

kinda yeah actually

Have you ever broken a bone?

no

Have you ever been easily amused?

eh

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

yeah

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

yeah no

Have you ever cheated on a test?

nope

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

my own yeah

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

yeah and he is currently GHOSTING ME AND I AM SAD

Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

uhh i sometimes get scared my brother will hit me because my brother, one of my sisters, and i got my dads anger issues and so my brother gets really angry and i just get kinda scared that he'll hit me like dad

[and-i-uh]

6? 22? Any other number you wanted to answer?

6- i dont have any stim toys, ive never really delved into that stuff, i was never really given the chance to explore stuff that would help me out with stimming and such. I also dont think i would like stim toys? Maybe i just have to try some but idk.

22- idk any specific songs i stim to. But ive stimmed while listening to mcr, and honestly i just stim to alot of the general songs i listen to. I really like singing along, i think thats a stim of mine, and some songs just listening to them is like stimming (anything with drums and/or guitars)

2- i like blankets a lot. Even if im hot and dont really need one, ill subconsciously grab the blanket on the couch and put it on my lap, and on my bed. There was one day i grabbed a pocket-sized beanie baby and put itin my hoodie pocket, and just knowing it was there made me happy. Also when i was with my friends one of them stuck their hands in my pocket and i panicked and like moved it out of their reach bc i was scared to get made fun of lol, it ended up being fine. I sleep with stuffed animals a lot. I think thats it

3- my school experiences were,,, not fun at all. Theres a lot to unpack there. My schools all had this thing called a “504 plan” or whatever. And it’s supposed to help people with certain disorders/disabilities. Mine only acknowledged my adhd as far as i know. Maybe my anxiety too. Some of the things that were supposed to ‘help’ were moving me to the front of the room, i got extended time to complete stuff (supposedly), extended time on certain tests (which i only saw on the act, literally i got no other extended time to do anything else. And after i got extended time on the act my scores shot up. Imagine the potential if i was given my actual extended time shit) and the meetings were hell. They started to have meetings with me in middle school, sixth grade i think. Having an administrator there, and my parents, and at least one teacher was terrifying to me. I think i cried every meeting. Honestly it felt like an interrogation to me, esp with all the damn eye contact and shit. My dad asked me if i wanted to continue it this year and i was immediately like fuck no nuh uh not happening. And whether or not I actually needed to be in the front of the room depended on the class, teacher, the people in there, but a lot of the time i would just be moved to the front and i would hate it. In eighth grade my math teacher moved me from the back of the room (a favorite seat in that class) to the front of the room in the middle of class for like a week. It was honestly humiliating and the only time i was eventually able to express my opinion on the 504 shit. Actually my freshman math teacher did that too. Ahaha moving on now before this gets too long.

4/5- three negative and positive things about being autistic.

Pros-

(1) i dont really have a chance to not have a hobby. Ive always got an interest to keep me entertained and i like that.

(2) stimming is nice, i like it, im not afraid to let myself stim. Makes me feel better.

(3) im unique and shit. I have a different pov than other people and that allows me to have different ways of thinking. I think outside the box ig. I also have this weird version of confidence and objectivity that I appreciate in myself

Cons-

(1) its hard to feel like i belong somewhere, bc im so different. Im getting better at it but im not good at getting close to people.

(2) i also like,, dont have certain permanence? Like object permanence? A lot of the time i dont really miss things/people unless im somewhere that reminds me of them. Idk if it’s negative really but its something,, even a spin, like bts, i dont really miss them that much until i do. Theyre still very important to me but yeah

(3) people dont really get me the same way other people get other people. And its hard for me to explain it to people. And theres certain people i get more than others. Its weird.

7- people need to give autistics a chance to be heard. Apply the accommodations you “give” them. Dont put them in the spotlight and give them space when needed. We are what you might call “picky” too. Eating, learning, socializing, we have our own things we need to be able to do shit. Learn them. Let us stim. Encourage us to learn about ourselves and remind us that youre there for us. But dont try to help us unless we ask or we actually need help. Dont trigger meltdowns on purpose, stop using the r word even in passing like its not a big deal. Be more than aware of us, accept us, appreciate us. Dont be a bystander.

8- i dont have much experience with meltdowns? I think? If i have i didnt have chances to recover. I had to go back to class or something. Idk how to recognize them in me either.

10- showering. Thats a big thing that even though i kinda need i forget to do. Except during school. I had a whole routine in the morning and i was super punctual. If i didnt shower i would be late, miss the bus, forget something.

12- meat. The way it feels. Disgusting. How do people eat it and not feel like dying? Same with lettuce. Spinach is fine but every time i try to eat lettuce I almost throw up. Bell peppers, pickles, vinegar, mayo, eggs usually, cheese sometimes. Just off the top of my head. One time i tried putting lettuce on my burger, was feeling adventurous, and after biting down i had to just take the lettuce off. Another time, my stepmom (newly married to my dad) made slads for us, and i was skeptical. There was white stuff all over the salad and she wouldnt tell me what it was. I tried eating a little carrot stick thing and almost vomited. Thats when she learned I cannot eat mayo. Even if idk that its mayo i still cant fuckin eat it. She forced me to eat bell peppers one time. Didnt go well at all. At all.

(Not gonna do the spin one bc ive already talked about them and if i do again itll be too long)

15- yes! I only do big stuff(?)(like yelling n shit) when im completely alone. Like if im home alone. Bc i get so loud. Sometimes ill hum in my room or sing to myself in my room though. Its so fun. As for phrases i repeat, ill repeat anything i find interesting. In a movie or song, or even something a friend said. One time my mom said the phrase “tough titty said the kitty but the milks still good” and i went around the kitchen repeating it until she got annoyed. Also sometimes something in the room will have a constant sound and ill like think a phrase to that sound repeatedly. Idk how to explain it lol. Idk if thats echolalia either

16- rocks. Typical i know, collecting rocks. But i just cant help it. I see a rock i like, i pick it up, take it home. I used to collect sticks. And when i was in elementary school, i used to pick shit up off the playground. Beer bottle caps was a favorite. Apparently the school called my mom about it bc they found my stash and thought it was from home and my parents were drinking excessively. 😬 oops

18- introverted?

19- kinda depends. Idk. I really cant tell wow. I would probably say hypersensitive. Just cause i have a ton of sensory issues and a lot of stuff bothers me. Like types of clothes. And how things are resting on my body. Yeah i guess i am hypersensitive.

20- i used to struggle with self love a lot. And sometimes i still kinda do. But in the past few years ive really started appreciating myself and trying to learn a lot about myself. Its going well id say.

21- empathy. Hmm. I think im very empathetic, actually. I can always tell when someone is feeling uncomfortable in a situation. And when i should tell people to back off of them if they wont say it themselves. And im very uncomfortable when theres secondhand embarrassment. And bullying, in something im watching or reading. Yknow, I actually cant watch mean girls. I just. I tried, i had to walk away bc I couldn’t take it. It also kinda triggers me so theres that. Bc of the bullying. But yeah im very empathetic. Otherwise socially im not good at that.

23- nope. Ive got like no support system other than tumblr and online friends. Apparently my dad refused to acknowledge im autistic and hes my favorite parent. Thats his big flaw though. And if i “came out” to him and said it myself he would probably come around. I know hes not completely nt either. My Opa has ocd, so nuerodiversity runs in the family ig.

While making this i got distracted and went on insta for like an hour oops lol

24- steampunk cosplay? Or college dorm tips? The steampunk one was freshman year, and the college dorm one was fifth grade. It lasted well into sixth grade and seventh grade.

[fluttersheep]

@michaalien​ tagged me in this forever ago and im only just now getting to it fjdkjfsd

thank uu

What was the last thing you read? a pharmacy tech study guide ;;

Favorite movie? what we do in the shadows, lego movies, o brother where art thou, hot fuzz is a guilty pleasure

Favorite book? smoke gets in your eyes

Dream Date? visiting an animal sanctuary maybe. or a historical site. hiking somewhere beautiful. idk i have lots but as long as im with someone i love ill have just as much fun sitting on the couch

Do you have a crush? yeah im crushing pretty hard on @skeletonshades​ but dont tell her its a secret <3

What are your hobbies? drawing, going on long walks, crocheting even though its slow going, lying on the floor

What is your favourite time of day? morning time!

If you could look like anything, what would you look like? dont ask me this im dysphoric and have dysmorphia and poor self image dskfjlsdkfj, this is the only body i get im trying to accept it

Are you romantic?  ooooh just a bit :)

What’s your favorite type of weather? brisk and sunny 

What do you like talking about? idk. whatever im interested in at the time if someone is willing to listen

What are your turn ons? positivity, confidence, snappy dressing, willingness to help me break into a factory farm

Turn offs? selfishness, poor listener, giving money to the farm im trying to break into

If you got a tattoo what would it be and where would you get it? as soon as the seasons over and i can stand to spend a bit on it im still going to get that homo fuge tattoo

Do you have any pets? ms puppy daisy, although she lives with my parents

Dream job? my dream job is no job

honestly if i could work on a sanctuary part time and support myself thatd be perfect. helping animals, being just physically demanding enough to be satisfying, working outside.. wouldnt that be nice. stupid capitalism :(

Dream place to live? im always embarrassed to say places like scotland bc its so cliche but a little cottage in the country would be so nice ;; also like. free healthcare????

Dream vacation? germany or the czech republic

Do you have any piercings? just the one on the ears, im thinking of getting more higher up but im more of a tattoo person

If you had kids what would you name them? i dont know i dont plan on ever needing to know lol

What are your best traits? big heart

Worsts traits? big heart

What’s your worst fear? being alone, sudden deadly illnesses

What do you want to eat right now? its literally always sushi

What’s your best vacation you’ve ever been on? it wasnt really a vacation but i really enjoyed my recent trip to washington. the mountains were so beautiful

Favourite City? idk im not a city person. i havent been to many either. savannah maybe? and even then i still have a lot of issues with it haha

Favourite social media platform? i guess tumblr since its the only one i use. but only bc every other one is so much worse

Favourite article of clothing? my big black cardigan

Do you play sports?  id rather die thanks

Favourite meal of the day? i think breakfast? im always most hungry then so its extra satisfying. and its my biggest meal. its literally what gets me out of bed lol

What are you excited for? seeing my gf in january!!! <333

Not excited for? upcoming credit card bill :(

When was the last time you cried? this morning kdjflsdjk im going through a rough bit

Dream house? i answer this all the time! some kind of cute little place in the country

What’s something you hate about the world? theres a lot dont even get me started

ill just say. some peoples inability to respect animals at all

What’s something you love about the world? when humans are extremely compassionate and caring. i really want to think most people are inherently good deep down, we just live in a world thats been. structured poorly ig

What scents do you like? rose and peach and baked bread

What kind of sleeper are you? pretty good i think overall. i have some rough streaks sometimes but usually i get a good 7 hrs. i sleep really well this time of year when its cold and i have a heated blanket so that helps a lot

Are you a cat or dog person? i used to be a dog person until i worked in kennels (i still adore dogs dont get me wrong) and now i think im just a tiny bit more of a cat person. but i love them both so so much

How long would you survive in the zombie apocalypse? ten minutes?

Are you trusting? i try to be. i trust my friends a lot

What fictional character do you identify with? oh you know

What labels do you usually get? quiet and shy 

What song would be your life anthem? honestly nothing comes to mind and im too tired to go looking for a song ;;  ill keep you posted

What issues are you dealing with right now? i have so many and cant afford a therapist and im so mad abt it!!!!

How can someone win you over? forehead kisses wrist kisses cheek kisses nose kisses neck kisses just those small nice kisses always get me <33

also yeah $5000

What’s something about you people don’t know? i think my social security number is the only thing i havent shared here at least once

[kritharaki]

Rating plants ive personally owned/ own on a scale of 1- 10, 1 being sucks i hate it and it also died for no reason and 10 being i love it and it is flourishing with my at times shitty care

1. Dracaena fragrans nr1

The one that looks a bit like a bamboo palm tree. Solid 7/10 i think she is pretty and you usually can tell exactly when she needs water because her leaves curl. However has had little to no growth since i got it and i cant figure out why, -3 for that

2. Dracaena fragrans nr2

The one that looks like a palm without a stump. 10/10 ive been trying to kill it for over a year and it refuses to die. That could be spite. But she is very recomendable i think... top five things she survived so far being 1.overwaterd cause if i have water leftover she gets it 2 sunburned. I forgot her outside after repotting. 3 being dropped. Standing in the darkest corner of my room 4. Being dropped. Again. 5. Forgot to water it for like two weeks cause ive moved it to another room . I would give it a -5 for personality because im mad at her but that is personal between me and her.

3. Succulents

All of them. No matter if purple or greenish. 2/10 some people love them, i hate them. idk what im doing wrong but so far ive had five? And only one of them still is alive. Either they rot or dry out. Idk who recommends them to beginners i hate them.

4. Cacti

Nice. 9/10 i dont like them because they are spiky and im an idiot, but they really are not easy to kill. One time i overwatered one and it got mushy, but since it still is alive over two years later i guess it doesnt count. They really are a great starter plant i think because they survive on very little care, and if you grow out of being a beginner you can get to the more challenging ways of caring for catci (that still are quite simple i think)

5. Monstera deliciosa

9/10, i think they can be quite tricky but only if you dont believe in yourself. They also are easy to propagate which always is a huge plus. U get more plants out of one. Its genius i love it. I got mine at ikea and on god it has doubled in size in like a year???? They should get extra points for looks because they are really nice and green

6. A yucca palm

9½/10 Idk..... ive had to repot it once but idk if it has even grown since i got it. Its a very nice and easy planta nd it looks good but doenat have much action to talk about. I wouldnt know how to kill it either so id consider it a nice starter. The very bottom leaves get yellow and krispy but that apparently is normal so no need to worry, thats just how it grows.

7. Gummy tree

6/10 i worry about it all the time even though it doesnt do anything that should worry me. But it has very few leaves so it cant loos that many which gives it a feel of walking on thin ice. Stressful. Very pretty tho should get extra points. Also remind me to ask my grandma for tips because hers is literally 60 years old.......... so maybe its like the monstera you just gotta believe in yourself

8. Orchids

I have got two, a purple ikea one and a papophilium or some shit. 4/10 They are really pretty especially the pap,,, paep,,,, the expenisive-ish one❤ but i hate them. What do they want. No that isnt true the ikea one... well ive accidentally overwatered it right after buying it because i didnt realize the pot it came w had no drainage which then lead to me removing both soil and half the now moldy roots. And orchids dont need soil so id just put it in a cup of water every once in a while...... that is really easy to forget tho and now shes dry and shrively :( the expensive one i accidentally let it stand in a saucer of water and now theres mushrooms in the soil thingy which is bad i think. Gets extra points for also surviving being dropped twice

9. Spider plants

My beloved. 10/10

I got one from ikea but then decided the single plants in the pot were to overcrowded so i took them out and seperated it into three. I probably ripped half the roots but they survived and now are flourishing. One of them has an offshoot going on rn, which leads me to the other two i have, my mom got me them as cuttings from her office plant and i left them in just water for at least third a year oops. They started getting a lil moldy so i planted them and now they are going strong again. Love. They also are really easy to propagate because offsphoots are everything but rare in an older(ish) plant, and also really easy to grow from there. Another one id consider a good beginner plant because all they want is water and a place on the windowsill. The latter is optional too but they do get nicer there i think. Ig they also wouldnt say no to the occasional fertilizer but again they do not need it i think.

10. Pileas

7/10, almost killed my big one by putting it into a too big pot AND shady place at all the same time. In the midst of winter. Cant recommend it. Have now put it back into a smaller pot and shes flourishing again. The small one i have i cant say much about. She does her job and is very smol. Also worth mentioning is you dont have to water pilea babies more than big ones it makes them mold <\3. I think its an easy plant if you dont fuck around to much. Propagating them can b really easy too because the offshoots just. Grow there. And u ideally have to cut them and put them in water. The last time i tried this was winter. Bad idea doesnt work. Trying it again rn ig ill update this section accordingly.

11. Clusia rosea

6/10 ive too put her into a too big pot cause i dont have an intermediate one so she looks stupid now. Has grown a lil since i got it 2 years ago, but thats fair cause i dont really care for her that greatly. Mediocre to me idk

12. Peperomia polybotrya

0/10 so far its getting yellow and i cant figure out why. Need to google how to care for them.

13. Venus fly trap

7/10 Doesnt work anymore idk why :((..... a bit sad but ive moved her to the bathroom that usually helps. They really are a cool gimick and theoretically very easy to take care of, you literally just gotta make sure its in water amd standing in a sunny place at all times. I think mine might be lacking fertilizer or maybe just humidity. We will see, ill update this section too

14. Nepenthes

9/10, mine had a rough start cause i interpreted 'keep in humid place ' as 'spray with water every day' so i overwaterd her. She lost all her pitchers but i now know they just do that in winter. Unless u have a growlight. She has been moved to the windowsill in the bathroom now and is flourishing there :))

15. 3 bonus tips

1) dont propagate plants in winter unless you have grow lights or want them to die. Or live somewhere really warm maybe

2) cheap plants r not inherently worse than expensive plants (now i dont own any expensive plants but since my cheapish once work fine........yk) but especially plants from like. Chain stores like ikea often need to be repotted shortly after buying..... ive heard its a marketing thing cause if you dont do it they just get yellow and ugly and youll have to buy a new one yk. But repotting them is manageable i think so its fine you just gotta know it ig.

3) if somethings going wrong for no reason and you have a window in your bathroom put the plant there it usually helps a lil. And if it doesnt well than at least the plant dies in a peaceful place...... jk theres probably several great checklist online tho that might help you find the cause of it so dont despair <33

[caffinateef-studyblr]

Writing/6/hades/ambition? Also I just found your blog and really like it. What are you studying and what help in math do you need? :)

Writing - What’s one trope/plot line you wish to see in books or movies?

Oooo one thing that id absolutely love to see in movies would probably be the major fanfic tropes! Like hanahaki AUs or soulnate tattoo AUs and things like that!

And for books, i saw this one tumbr post a long time ago (on pinterest lmao) about a whole book being written where the reader feels like a character in the book and like somewhere in the end the main love interest goes like youre seem like a really cool person but unfortunately youre real. Or sth like that. Idk it just feels like a really good concept. (Btw i would die for any sort of soft romantic plot so thats another thing ig)

6. one thing your teacher/professor said that you will never forget?

So this is a story of how i was being a dumbass kid and how my teacher noticed it. (This is long im sorry) In 8th grade a few weeks after the midterms this guy i kinda had a crush on reciprocated my feelings (we didnt go out but the feelings were there) and like relationships and stuffs have apparently always been a very awkward thing for me (because im very awkward) and like my friends were helping me out to get together with him and it was making me kinda uncomfortable but i didnt say anything because 'ahaha these people are trying shtuff for me and i should be grateful' and all that cr*p. But then my social studies teacher kinda noticed that i was starting to behave differently a bit ig (like i was being quieter than usual and seeming more distracted and shtuff maybe) and since our teachers kinda knew some or the other scoop about the kids i think she figured out what was going on coz one day at lunch break when she had her lecture right before, She stopped me after class and told me that i need to start speaking up about what i want and what i dont or else even though people would be doing something for me and i wouldnt want that it would still be a loss for both sides since events that need to happen always happen, even if they get delayed. And in the end everyone would end up getting hurt and their efforts would go wasted anyways. (She didnt exactly say that but idk how to phrase it so i hope you get what she said) and like after that i actually did talk to my friends about it and they happily dropped their whole plan and it turned out all good in the end. ( i didnt get i to the relationship thankfully lol)

So im never gonna forget that advice of speaking up for what i want. (Altough i still do kinda have a hard time over it)

hades; subject(s) you dislike in school

Huhhh. Honestly it would have to be Math and Physics. (I dislike math more tho.)

It probably because maybe i never actually tried to do it for reasons other than just getting done with it becuae exams. But like even though i try to practice math i still just never really vibe with (i had no better phrasing other than this im sorry hahdhdj)

ambition: what is your current study goal?

My study goal at his exact moment is to somehow properly get done with each one of my final exams and get at least above an 80%. (Worst case scenario 75%)

-----

Also the thing in the end!!! Im honestly reallly realllt struggling with calculus and UGH its ripping my mind apart. And aaAaaa thank you so so so so so much for offering help!!!!! I really really appreciate it!!!!

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/12-wellness-instagram-accounts-to-motivate-you-in-2019/

12 Wellness Instagram Accounts to Motivate You In 2019

If you are one of those people who see a new year as the opportunity for a fresh start, you may have already spent some time thinking about habits you’d like to break or form as we start 2019. Though you can probably think of many healthy habits you would like to adopt in the new year, have you thought about how you can give your creativity a fresh cleanse with new and exciting sources of motivation and inspiration?

With 500 million daily users, it is no surprise that Instagram is a huge resource for finding inspiring content.

Check out these 12 amazing wellness advocates who will be sure to supply you with a healthy, fresh dose of motivation in 2019.

1. @livewellwithlo 

Hawaii living Lauren Kissee takes to Instagram to promote wellness and healthy, mindful living. “Pursuing a life well-lived,” Lauren shares tidbits into her life in the form of yummy recipes, awesome eBook resources, and natural skincare tips, with lots of color sprinkled in! 

2. @thefashionfitnessfoodie 

There is no shortage of hilarious, fact-checking sass on Lucy Fountain’s account. Lucy is a wellness advocate whose career is centered on putting a stop to the scams and “quick fixes” by providing real truth and encouraging a balanced, forgiving, health conscious approach to wellness.

3. @saraclarkyoga

Sara Clark uses her passion to do more than just live a solo-focused healthy life. Instead, she uses her voice to inspire others to do the same through promoting yoga, mindfulness, and meditation. Sara spreads positivity, inspiration, and hope through her platform, and frequently teaches yoga in NYC.

4. @paleoglutenfreeeats  

Kaylie of @paleoglutenfreeeats features the most mouth watering paleo and gluten free recipes, and she is sure to include chocolate as frequently as possible. Follow her for a solid dose of healthy sweet treat inspiration, because who doesn’t want to be encouraged to eat brownies for breakfast?!

5. @wellandfull 

Just in case you follow a plant-based diet and have been eating more beans and rice than you can stand, check out Sarah’s inspiring creations over on @wellandfull. Sarah incorporates creativity into her dishes to create meals that are almost too pretty to eat! 

6. @charlotttequeen

If you’re looking for some beautiful, bright meal inspiration, Charlotte is your girl. She keeps it real, and features everything from salads and veggies to burgers and pancakes, because #balance. A big fan of dispelling Instagram’s false image of “fit,” she is a fan of speaking it how it actually is through side-by-side comparison images. 

7. @rocamoon

      View this post on Instagram

    DECEMBER FITMAS CHALLENGE!! 💥 It’s that time of year again, who’s ready to get their fitness dancing shoes on with us!? Haha happy December 1st everyone!! (Cannot believe it’s already here🙃)… ok soooo for all you who are keen & I hope that’s lots of you again 😜 I left it up to you guys to vote what we should do & it sounds like the 1000 burpees killed ya last year!? Haha so by popular vote “25 FOR 25” it is! . ✨ Basically the goal is to move that bod of urs & do something active for 25mins each day until Christmas Day! 🎉🎁 You can personalize it how you like… whether it’s a simple walk or run, dancing in the mirror at home, or a quick & intense HIIT workout- it’s up to you! If anything the goal is to just get moving and trying to push urself a little extra this season whatever it is!🏋🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️🏄🏽‍♀️🚴🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️👍🏼 If you r wanting a lil more guidance I will be posting the days workout on my story for you the night before, which will be a combo of 25mins of activity or 25 reps of set exercises. . YOU IN!? Comment a Christmas tree 🎄 if you are & tag ur buddies, fambam, lovers, or whoever to get in on it with ya- it’s much easier & more fun that way to keep each other accountable🙌🏽 . Some of my fam in NZ have accepted the challenge again so I’m super stoked!! Oh and would love to hear any of ur fav go to exercises below & maybe I can incorporate them somewhere along the way. . ✨document & share!..share in the comments of my posts what u r up to, or share pics/vids/boomerangs, whatever on ur IG stories or feed & tag me @rocamoon + use hashtag #25FITMASDAYS so we can all see & be inspired!! That’s if u want to 😉 . ✨PRIZES! For a little extra motivation & fun there will be a prize each week. I’ll announce on stories & gift to people who are participating!! Maybe things like workout gear, energy bars, glasses, swimsuits- we shall see if anyone even joins in haha😝 Alriiiiiiighty let’s do this 💪🏽💪🏽 today will be mellow, starting with just a 25min quick paced walk while u mentally prepare & commit to a better version of urself for the next 25days.. .btw don’t think you r gonna get away with doing no fitmas burpees Just yet 😜🔥 #25FITMASDAYS #merryfitmas #tistheseason

A post shared by Mona-Jane (@rocamoon) on Dec 1, 2018 at 6:20am PST

In addition to posting beautiful imagery with views to envy, Mona-Jane of @rocamoon doesn’t fall short in the motivation category. A huge fitness (and ice cream!) lover, Mona-Jane encourages her followers to take advantage of the great outdoors through living an active lifestyle. She frequently posts fun workout challenges to inspire her followers to get up and get moving! 

8. @thehealthmason 

The Health Mason, also known as Allie, is a wellness advocate passionate about the topics of mental health awareness, all things balance, and keeping it honest. As an ED survivor, Allie is a believer in using food as medicine. Follow along on her journey for all things recipes, skincare, and lifestyle! 

9. @saltsandandsmoothies

A fantastic source of knowledge on the power of plants and holistic living, Amelia Whelan provides her followers with incredible recipes and a gold mine of holistic living tips. She promotes wellness through conscious and intentional living, sharing loads inspirational and thought-provoking content along the way. 

10. @spinach4breakfast 

Sisters Maria & Alyssa took to their blog to document their health and wellness journey and provide a tool for anyone looking for a bit of inspiration. Focusing on all things health, wellness, and motherhood, these sisters know the importance of balancing intuitive eating with sweet indulgences. 

11. @cultivatewithkruti 

Kruti Shah of @cultivatewithkruti is a yogi, plant-based recipe developer and food stylist who uses her passion for health and wellness to share mouth watering creations with others. When she isn’t busy cooking up tasty dishes, and promoting health, wellness, and mindfulness, she is busy pursuing her Master’s Degree in Occupational Therapy.

12. @eatgoodfoodandmove 

      View this post on Instagram

    I’ve been craving some fancy dairy-free nachos and this plate did NOT disappoint. The @CholulaHotSauce cashew sour cream took it to the next level 🙌🏼🙌🏼They were so good I might have made them twice already😬 This is one of those meals that will impress your friends and make you seem like a fancy master chef 💁🏻‍♀️but is actually super simple and can be whipped up in just under an hour. Although this recipe as written is vegan, swap out the beans and corn for ground turkey taco meat and you are good to go for a Paleo or Whole30 approved meal. [ad] MAKE THIS PLATE: CHOLULA CASHEW SOUR CREAM: (Adapted from @ohsheglows cashew sour cream) -3/4 cup water -1 1/2 cups cashews -2 Tablespoons lemon juice -2 tsp apple cider vinegar -pinch of salt -5-6 Tablespoons Cholula Hot Sauce (depending on how much flavor you want) DIRECTIONS: 1. Soak cashews in boiling water, for at least an hour. Blend all ingredients together in a high-speed blender until the consistency is smooth. 2. Sweet potato fries (I think they are easier to pick up than circular shapes): Preheat oven to 425, wash sweet potatoes, cut into wedges/fries, brush with avocado oil and use s&p. Cook for 40-60 minutes, stirring halfway through. 3. Top fries with: baby tomatoes, avocados, black beans, black olives, fresh corn, jalapenos, a squeeze of fresh lime, cilantro, and the Cholula sour cream

A post shared by Katie White (@eatgoodfoodandmove) on Jul 26, 2018 at 7:24pm PDT

“Good food can be both nourishing and delicious,” says Katie White of @eatgoodfoodandmove. An advocate of real food combined with movement (especially yoga), Katie doesn’t let Celiac disease keep her on the sidelines. She whips up creative dishes that are nourishing, gluten-free, AND absolutely delicious. Her sweet potato nachos sure do sound pretty good right about now.

  Whether you are an experienced wellness professional or you are just beginning your wellness journey, it is important to fuel yourself with a sense of motivation. Instagram is an endless source of inspiring content, especially when it comes to health and wellness. Follow along with these awesome accounts to begin the new year fueled up on motivation and ready to tackle your goals.

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[derekhaleimagines]

The Crime Blogger

Tags: @the-shewxlf, @megant22, @sexywolfsfordays, @houseofrahl, @sterek-basically, @kittycatgirlmaddie, @misshinehou, @unbreakablevoices, @champagneblues, @mixed-up-fangirl, @juliaspnlover, @cineyou, @lipstickstainsandwerewolfchains, @fallenangel-13x, @urwarriorangel, @bless-my-demons, @lunaskyhunter, @arkhamirwin, @fangirlnerd101​, @m-a-t-91​, @meanwhilesmiley​, @edithambroreigns​, @from2016

Word count: 2958

Author’s note: I cannot begin to say how really incredibly sorry I am. I want to apologise for abandoning this blog for such a long time. Thankfully, I had a lot to do, which at least kept me focused on something else than Him. I could write odes about what has been happening to me during these months, but I’m planning to do that somewhere else. Namely, on another blog, so that I can hopefully help others who are in a situation they think can’t solve, or one that’s taking over their life.

Warnings: none (mentions of corpses, but nothing explicit)

Betas: I didn’t send this over to my Pack because I wanted to post this asap, but the list of them is here nonetheless: @i-am-a-misguided-misfit, @lipstickstainsandwerewolfchains, @mixed-up-fangirl, @kittycatgirlmaddie, @fallenangel-13x, @the-shewxlf, @b-chocolatelover, @from2016, @safiac, @random-fandom-fangirl2112​

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The judge was wrong – what he believed to be a mere intuitive leap was a conclusion based on careful observation. Also, I am in the position to announce that the bullet was indeed fired from a Sig Sauer X-5, for having had the opportunity to take a glance at the corpse myself. Therefore, the murder weapon was rightfully named in the court. The police should be looking for it instead of wasting their time engaging in the mind game the murderer set up for them to play.

It weren’t until my partner, Stiles, informed me about this blog. Turned out, it has been following quite a bit of our cases – the worst part however, was the fact that whoever launched this blog was able to pinpoint the important facts and come to the solution days, or sometimes even weeks, before we did.

This is the first post that I had the fortune to come across, and after reading these short, yet pithy lines, I gave myself some time in my office to skim through the rest. Then, following the instructions given to us, we searched for the pistol, only to later catch the killer, too. The case was solved within a week, thanks to that blog.

After then, I made it a habit to always check what was written there, and it never ceased to help me get to the end of my cases faster than I could initially do. The only mystery was this person’s method to always know about all of the evidences first-hand. I had no idea how he was doing it, and I’m still clueless to this day.

. o O o .

My current issue involves a man who has managed to outsmart everyone so far. Among his favourite habits are golf, taking photos, painting, reading, leaving a sign at the scenes of his homicides, chess, and poker.

The latter is the reason why Stiles and I are attending an annual celebration of one of the casinos in Los Angeles. There are more people here than usual, and our profiling colleague, Lydia, said that our man would never let down such an opportunity to shine his talent. Hence, me and Stiles are to play cards, all the while looking for clues as to who could be the interpreter.

After about two hours of poker and Black Jack, I opt to get a drink before continuing the subtle investigation. I spot Stiles at table 29, seeing how much he’s focusing on the game. I scan the room – I can immediately choose from the abundance of seats when a collective shout and a round of applause are paid to one of the players at table 47. Without a second thought, I race to get one of the two vacant seats with masked excitement.

To my biggest surprise, the person everyone applauded was a woman, presumably in her mid thirties; she’s wearing an outfit that reminds me of fifties’ fashion, and with her short blonde hair, blazing red lipstick, long lashes and perfect eyeliner, she looks like Marilyn Monroe herself. Only the trademark mole is missing from her face.

Upon noticing that I’m watching her, she sends a crooked smile in my way, before asking, “Are you here to play or to stalk?”

The people around chuckle at her remark; unconsciously, the corner of my mouth twitches as well, and I request for cards. It doesn’t take me long to realise how good she is. It’s no hardship for her to collect nearly all of the money from the table – after approximately an hour, only three of us dare to still play with her; two men, whose names I learnt to be Jason and Chad, and me. Jason is very good at poker, but not nearly as good as Jane, the woman who resembles Monroe.

Then something clicks in my brain as Alice is shuffling the deck for another round; our killer is exceptionally good at poker. In my mind, I automatically start planning the scene of arresting her and taking her with me to the interrogation room. I was too biased until now to do so much as even contemplating the idea of the murderer not even being a ‘he’, but a ‘she’. Under the table, I warn Stiles with my phone via an SMS, then act as though I did nothing and just keep playing.

The game is far from over when Stiles arrives and stands behind my chair. Jane takes a glance at him, and they exchange a long look with each other – suddenly, she announces it has been enough for her and she proceeds to leave, swiping her chips from the table before standing hastily. As she swiftly disappears behind the crowd, I throw in my cards too, and we follow her with Stiles.

We barely manage to catch her at the entrance. Out of mere chivalry, I refrain from clicking handcuffs on her tiny wrists in front of all these people, but instead I do hold on to her arm with a firm grip. As we lead her to our car, she tsks at me, “You got the wrong person, agent.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask while masking my surprise. How on Earth could she know we’re detectives? She couldn’t have seen either of our guns nor our IDs or cuffs. So how...

“You two are clearly from the police. Add the fact that your current subject is an avid poker player and you get a supervised party in the casino. Wasn’t a difficult leap,” she explains. It sounds logical, but I can still not grasp how she figured out our true identities, nor why she left the party so suddenly. Asking her, I get the following response, “You’re an idiot for a detective,” she says. “Your stance says everything. Then there’s the fact that your bust holster is available from under your suit – not obviously, but if someone knows what to look for, it’s clear.”

“And you apparently know what to look for,” I interject, only to get a disapproving look from her as she twirls around, halting in front the car, facing me.

“If you’re not interested in my inductions, you could might as well let me go,” she retorts. Submissively, I shake my head to sign her I’m not intend to do that until she explained everything to me. A short pause follows, but she goes on nonetheless. “Next, your hands; the skin is calloused where your gun puts pressure on it, and your index finger is flat because you always pull the trigger with that. You approached the table that allured you with the most solid potential of finding the murderer. Conclusion: you’re a right-handed cop who’s gone undercover to catch the poker player killer.”

“Not as stupid as it would make you think at first glance, huh,” Stiles speaks up, shaking me out of my sudden stupor after being unveiled. Her perfect red lips pull up in a smug smirk as she comments, “Paramount mistake to be biased by societal rules.” Jane turns to me then. “Can I go now? Obviously I’m not the killer you’re looking for. Furthermore, you’ve just granted him the perfect opportunity to escape, plus you’ve just told him you’re chasing him.”

I have never felt so stupid in my life as I’m watching her stride away in her high-heels.

. o O o .

The next scene of murder I’m directed to occurred at a hotel near a golf paradise. While Stiles converses with the CSI members, I take the testimonies of some of the people around here – namely the manager of the hotel, a maid who noticed the tragedy first, and the brother of the dead.

From the manager, I get the list of all of the suspicious men who rented a room. Stiles joins me, the brother and the maid, saying, “The CSI is certain it was our man.” The maid snorts under her breath, albeit she does that so quietly that I’m not sure if it was only me or she really did laugh just a moment ago. Looking at her innocent face – the short ginger hair curled into adorable locks, the huge green eyes, the smattering of freckles, the pouting lips – I abandon the idea of her making fun of the situation.

Later that day, I find a new post on the blog.

The police suspects the Poker Killer, even though it is clear as the Sun that it was committed by the victim’s brother. The Poker Killer is a showman, therefore he would never allow himself to ruin a scene by allowing people to see the corpse first, then his signature – he always shows us the signature first, then the body. Always. There hasn’t been an exception, so why would there be now? Also, the brother was more invested in what was going on the TV, and he had a smudged red spot on the back of his neck that he apparently didn’t notice whilst changing clothes and removing the most telling evidence.

. o O o .

Again, the blogger was right.

I’m still clueless about his methods, and I have no idea how he knew about the scene or where did he get so close to the brother to notice that tiny red spot on his nape. At first, I thought it was someone from the CSI group, but I haven’t seen any of them before in my previous cases.

So who is the mysterious genius, then?

. o O o .

Two months later, we find a major suspect, and we visit the jury to get an order to look around in his flat. Stiles shows the paper to the landlady, while I’m already on my way to the room of our supposed murderer. In front of the door, I hear faint noises of puttering inside, so I grab my gun before raiding inside. The noises are switched by a pair of high-heels clicking towards me, and within seconds, a young woman appears.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, lowering my weapon to which she didn’t even seem to bat an eye. I tuck the pistol back into my holster, giving further questions, “Why are you here? Who are you?”

“Natasha Karenina,” she answers with a mild Russian accent. She approaches me, only to hand me her business card. I roll my eyes.

“An investigative journalist?” The deceiving tone cannot be disguised in my voice. Natasha is opening her mouth to add something to the conversation, but Stiles appears, and her attention zeroes in on his figure. For the time being, I survey her; she has long black hair that she’s wearing in a perfect pony tail, her royal blue eyes are raking over Stiles, and she’s wearing a light grey skirt suit with a white button-up.

“Why are you here?” I ask again, earning her undivided focus once more.

“I could ask the same,” she answers, moving her sight up and down on me, “but it’s obvious. You’re here because you think it’s the Poker Killer’s flat, aren’t you.” She put it in a questioning phrase, but I have a feeling she wasn’t actually asking anything. She was stating.

“How did you–” starts Stiles, but she cuts him off fast.

“Never mind. The fact of importance here is that this isn’t where our murderer lives.” I assume she noticed the confusion on both of our faces, because without us having to urge her, she goes on, “It’s enough to take a glance at his bookshelves. We know our killer loves to read, but here, you can only see dust covering all of the thick books that are here in the living-room.” While speaking, she gestures towards said room, and enters it. Stiles and I follow. “There’s also some random stuff put in front of the books. Thus, this man wants to look smart, but would never take the time to actually sit down and start any of these prints. However, if you take a look at his bedroom,” she says, once again going to the place she’s talking about with us hot on her heels.

“You can see on his nightstand that there is a thin book about parenting. There are framed photos of his daughter and him, but the only piece in which the entire family can be seen was taken at least two years ago. What does this say to us?” She turns around to look at us, giving us a chance to add something to the story, but we both remain silent. Natasha rolls her eyes at us before going on, “That he and his ex-wife divorced within the last two years. There are no toys, albeit the girl’s age tells us that she would still require such things. A playing room is also absent; hence the girl lives with her mother.

“Our killer doesn’t have a family, he’s intelligent, loves photography and art, however, there are no signs here of any of them; there’s no dark room, no objectives, just one single camera that usually amateurs choose – not quite the taste of our man, is it? Then the painting hobby: there aren’t any brushes, sheets... nothing. I can’t even smell paint in the air. He doesn’t have a separate room where he could work on his pictures. If this man were to be as bright as the Poker Killer, his thick books wouldn’t be eaten away by layers of dust.”

“Amazing,” Stiles blurts, clearly astonished by the girl. I’m not less impressed, but at the same time, something is crawling around in my mind that I can’t shake off. Something that tells me I’ve seen this before, something like...

“You,” I say before I could stop. Natasha looks at me, and that’s the final evidence that I needed to be sure about my theory. “You’re Jane.”

“Jane?” she asks, trying to act nonchalant and puzzled by the name, but I caught sight of her nerve twitching under her cheek.

“You know what I’m talking about,” I declare confidently, enjoying that for the first time, I have the upper hand, and not her. “I know that sight – you looked at me with the same eyes that night, when I joined your table at the poker party. Then you asked if I was just going to gawk at you or actually play.” I have to admit that her ability to disguise herself is also worth of a generous applause, not only her poker skills, but I would never let her know this.

As soon as she inhales a long breath, I know I got her.

“So what?” she barks at me, dropping the accent and clearly annoyed at having been uncovered. Stiles is blinking at us, eyes commuting between her and I. “I’m after this guy, of course I follow him wherever he goes.”

“You looked older back then,” I point out, only to earn another eyeroll from her.

“Of course. You couldn’t expect me to show up in front of a murderer without any disguise protecting me, could you?” Driven by a sudden idea that pops up in my mind for a second, I can’t resist asking,

“Have you heard about the crime blogger?” I hope she could help me find whoever is running that site. Her answer comes with the same tightness from before.

“No.”

Granted, she’s mine.

She knows about the blog, more so, knows who the author is. And now I know the answer, too. I can get her admittance to my being right with just one single, simple question. “How come someone as good as you is ignorant to such an infamous blog?”

Natasha blows out a long breath, apparently giving to me.

“So, who are you really?” I ask.

. o O o .

Not a week later, we catch the Poker Killer.

Stiles and I elected to involve her in the case instantly after meeting her for the third time, as she later informed us. She told us that her real name is (Y/N) Holmes – it made me question whether she changed her name at some point in her life to a really fitting one, or it was a great coincidence by life that a woman, who possesses the observational skills of Sherlock Holmes also bears the same name as him.

In her real appearance, (Y/N) let us know that she was the maid where the fake killing occurred, from which I concluded how she was able to always get her evidence directly from the crime scene; she always wore a disguise, that’s why no one ever noticed her.

. o O o .

One evening, in the office, after only two or three colleagues are present with us, I approach her – she’s standing in front of the window, eyes raking over the street, particularly paying attention to the people walking by. The ‘Visitor’ tag is hanging on her button-up, the jacket of her skirt suit is neatly spread on her arm, while in her other hand, she’s holding a cup of steaming tea.

Without paying a glance at me, she says, “I know what you want to ask me.”

“Then I guess it’s unnecessary for me to request you to join us as a consulting detective.”

She snickers, sips the last drops of her tea, then shakes her head mildly.

“I wasn’t talking about that,” she says. “I meant the other thing. And the answer’s yes. I want to go on a date with you, Derek Hale.”

As she looks into my eyes, I can’t help the grin that finds its way to my face. I hold my arm out to her, which she accepts, then allows me to lead her out of the HQ of the FBI.