#instead weve apent months sleeping on my best friends moms couches bc she was the only person who heard about what we were going thru | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

isa-ah · 4 years ago

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what to do when your anger at a situation is entirely justified but that doesn't change a thing and while there's nothing you can actually do about it the situation is still steeply ongoing.

#i think the part that makes me angriest is the little voice in the back of my head thay just keeps going #your entire family would have let you be homeless in phoenix & your entire family is letting you be homeless right now #but if your grandma was still alive.....#like .... if ahe was still alive what? i still wouldnt have left home or been dating my fiance or grown as a person in fact id probly b dea #like what? so what if she was? but ig at least id have somewhere to go back to. SOME kind of safety net within my family #instead weve apent months sleeping on my best friends moms couches bc she was the only person who heard about what we were going thru #and was like youre always welcome here #and so here we are but we cant like. work from here. we cant get jobs or real money or savings to move or go get our van #like we're here and were safeish but theres no way to progress and i dont lnow what were going to do #i just want a bed bro i havent slept comfortably since fucking october not a moment of privacy either it's exhausting #i can work as hard as i fucking can on commissions and within a single billing cycle im back yo begging for $9 scraps to eat #not even just begging for scraps bc then i have to take that money and hat in hand to find someone willing to drive me to the store #bc we cant go anywhere ourselves #and it sucks! it sucks. you could get anywhere in phx or tempe or messa on foot. you could order from sooo many restaurants whenever #safeway was a 2min walk #and now im sitting on the couch staring at my phone trying to decide if i go to the store today can i still pay this bill next week?#like can i make that money back by then? what if i dont get any commissions? but then theres a bill teice the size after that one #like its ... so ... moment to moment and im so tired but i cant sleep bc this couch is so fucking uncomfortable and my nightmares are back #and what can i do about it besides dissociate half the day thinking about this and going grey at 24 bc whats the alternative?#whats the other option? there is no other option. were just here. were just here until someone else gives us a boon #that's so frustrating

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