#like we have so many other nights
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#i woke up the other morning and on my way to work it popped in my head to break up with my partner#i love them and they're so fucking sweet and good to me and we've hardly had any issues. never had a fight and we've been together 5 months#we work really good together and i really enjoy spending time with them#but that morning on the way to work it wasn't like it was a question that popped into my head or 'should i break up with them' it was more#just an objective fact 'it's time to end things. it's over' and it's like something shifted. a switch flipped or something and i can't go#i can't go back. i still love them but i can't enjoy it anymore#i went over to their place night and went to dinner with them and their friends and hung out watching tv#like we have so many other nights#but it felt completely different. it felt wrong. i didn't belong anymore#it all just made me sad#i went hoping that spending time with them would bring it back. would make things normal again#but i just can't get it back. whatever the fuck 'it' is#but they're still so happy and in love and they were being so fucking sweet today trying to comfort me because they knew something was off#and it breaks my heart knowing that i'm about to hurt them#because i don't want to leave them but i feel like i'm being deceitful and fake because#i love them but i can no longer love them how they want me to. how i want to#but god i really really don't want to hurt them#i think i'm having or about to have a panic attack because of how stressed i am at the idea of hurting them#especially because it's already a tough time of year for them and work has been stressful nd i dont want to add to it but i cant lie to them#i can't really think about how much i don't want to do this or how much i'm going to miss them because i'm at work and i can't cry in front#of customers but fuck fuck it hurts#it hurts me just thinking about how much hurt i'm going to put them through#how much i already am because i know i'm acting different#but i'm pretty sure they think i'm just going through a depressive episode or something#bc they haven't fucking done anything! how can i break up with someone who hasn't even done a god damn thing???#and i never really could see a distant future with them but it was so nice being with them#but it was so fucking nice to have somebody be as into me as i was them and to feel so reciprocated and on the same page as someone#why did that all of a sudden change. just completely out of the blue. completely unprompted#i don't know what to do.. and i'm out of tags. that's never happened before#madi says shit
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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gonna say, something or someone being misogynistic is on its own a good enough reason not to like it or not to spend time with that person. It's not just that misogyny is so normalised that not watching a show or not spending with someone just because of misogyny is treated as not enough of a reason - it's also that as a woman, you are under constant scrutiny and constantly thrown tests to show that you are 'not one of the difficult ones', that you can 'take a joke'.
But 'your friend keeps saying degrading things about women' is a good enough reason not to hang out with that person or not to go to a gathering. 'i read the last book by his author and it was deeply misogynistic' is a good enough reason why you don't want to read things by that author anymore. 'This comedian specifically makes a lot of mean-spirited jokes about women' reason enogh not to watch that or see that show, even if your friends want to go. 'This content creator keeps going on weird tangents about women' reason enough not to watch their stuff or support them.
and it is especially a very good reason not to date someone.
#last night i rewatched hbomberguy's plagiarism video and I kept noticing how many female supporters James Somerton had#despite being such a giant misogynist#and this sent me down this mental rabbithole of how often it happened that we had a guy in our friend group who was rude/weird with women#but it was just an issue everyone danced around#and I feel like part of the reason is that misogyny alone is not considered a good enough reason not do something#and I can already see counter-arguments like 'so you're saying I CAN'T enjoy xyz'#I'm aware that it's impossible to cut out everything misogynistic and that you would miss out on a lot of great works if you do#but I'm trying to get out of the habit of immediately hedging what I'm saying and describing every case scenario exception#I'm not saying that you aren't allowed to do something you want to (who am I to do that)#I'm saying that IF you DON'T want to do something because of misogyny - that's reason enough#if something you do in your free time and should be for your enjoyment is so uncomfortable and becomes a chore you are doing for others#you don't have to.#and then the last one. the whole can of worms of how many women date men who hate women...
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3x06 breaks my heart for a million obvious reasons but I think one of the many reasons it hurts that isn’t talked about that much is how innocent the whole thing starts out.
So much of their lives forced them to grow up way before they should’ve. Ian was being groomed by predatory men since he was 14 and Mickey was abused his whole life. That and a million other things forced them into adulthood so much quicker than they deserved.
But then they get this night.
Then they’re together and even amongst the chaos and the awful shit in their lives, they get this little glimpse of a normal teenage relationship. Everything about it sounds so typical. Mickey’s parents are away for the night so he asks the guy he’s seeing over. Ian is so excited because he gets to sneak out of the house to actually spend the night with his maybe boyfriend that can be so distant and hard to read but has now actually invited him over to spend the night (and kissed him!!)- that has to mean something right?
They stick on a movie and sit together on the couch sneaking glances at each other wondering when the other is going to make a move. They’re both so nervous but so excited but trying to play it cool to the other. They laugh and joke together and spend time together before they have sex in an actual bed for the first time and actually spend a whole night together. Mickey made Ian food and they got to wake up together and eat breakfast together.
Up until a point, the entire situation is just so typical. They got to be normal teenagers on the cusp of their first real relationship for one night.
Then the next morning all of it was taken away and their entire lives changed forever.
#mickey milkovich#shameless#gallavich#ian gallagher#shameless us#like. I get the reason that Ian snuck over is because Terry is abusive and homophobic and not just bc they’re teenagers#with the context obviously there are still horrible things going on#but it’s like they got to forget about it for a bit#like the whole night is so stereotypical teenager#I remember when I was like 17 and my parents were away so my almost bf at the time#snuck out of his house and came down to mine and we spent the night together#and it literally goes like this for so many people#quickly sneaking looks over at each other wondering when someone’s gonna make a move#the excitement the nerves#it’s so like. innocent in a way#we ended up becoming official then after#they got the smallest touch of it#then everything exploded and they could never have that innocence again#idk if I’ve worded this or communicated it right#but do u know what I mean#like did u have nights like this with ur first so when u were young#they were so close y’know#they almost got it
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more monochrome practice I suppose
#tumblr getting this version of this drawing bc i dont want to get in trouble for drawing them nakey#so its date night vibes instead of like eden vibes#i have such complicated feelings about this ship in part bc we havent really met lilith so dont know what shes about yet#but i know in my heart there was a time they loved each other so much and so this is that#honestly would love so much to get backstory on the eden crew and the happenings there even just like a flashback in an episode or somethin#but lowkey im on the 'hoping they get divorced but deeply care about one another and are a part of each others lives' train#bc thats kind of more interesting to me than them getting back together bc i think the crux of it is how much theyve changed and a part of#their relationship getting to the point where lilith disappeared maybe being them both trying to desperately to salvage it and in doing so#making it worse bc they felt like they ruined their lives to be together and so what was the point of it all if they weren't anymore?? but#like theyre immortal so of course theyre going to change and of course theres a chance that the relationship doesnt work even if they deepl#love one another and always will and i just like the closure of that and admitting they arent right for each other in that way anymore but#they still love and care about each other and will never lose that#this is rambling and doesnt make as much sense as when i was typing it on a different post i am wondering now if theres a limit on how many#tags i can put here bc im just yapping at this point whoops#anyway i need to buck up and actually finish/post that draft i have about my very long and complicated hazbin ship opinions#lucilith#hazbin hotel#lilith morningstar#lilith hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lilith#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lilith
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joel etho single dads au .........
#esp if we go w liml family#etho with scar and bdubs at the park#joel with hermes#their kids meet and become best friends and keep begging for five more minutes until theyre the last ones at the park#so joel and etho inevitably meet and start talking because theyre both hella bored waiting for their kids#and joel lowk kinda cannot stand etho#hes like “igh this guy is sooo pretentious i could sense it from a mile away. who does he think he is with that stupid white hair”#“newsflash it doesnt make you look cool it makes you look old as hell”#(but he doesnt say any of this)#(obviously)#and it works best if etho is totally oblivious#dude is just waiting 2 drop off scar n bdubs back home2 cleo so he can try2 get the Good Nights SleepTM hes been chasing since he was a bab#then they find out their kids go to the same school#and so obviously joel has decided to make it his mission in life to one up everything etho does#at this point etho is fully aware and finds it hilarious#because he is an Expert in these things okay. hes been making brownies for scar's bake sales since before hermes was Born#and joel can try as hard as he can but he just Cannot reach that level.#he can make as many cupcakes as he wants but none of them r gonna beat the gooey deliciousness of ethos chocolate chip triple layer brownie#and that is just soooo infuriating to him. his blood is boilimg at Every Single Parent Led Bake Sale Ever#and its even worse because etho looks like hes about to spontaneously combust at any possible second#his hair is a mess. deepppp eyebags. hes been running on maybe an hour of sleep every night for the past what eight years???#but hes sooo consistently perfect at everything.#joel hates him.#but like they also have to put up with each other at playdates and parties and whatnot because i repeat their kids are Best Friends#aughhh idk theres some potential there. i promise im just not getting it across very well#nya talks#trafficblr#hermitblr#joel smallishbeans
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The sukugo fight can't get animated any sooner I'm craving sukugo tiktok edits
#jjk#ryomen sukuna#gojo Satoru#sukugo#my post#sukugo's date night#Grown ass men beating each other up looking each other in the eyes thinking about love while a cutesy song plays in the background 😍#I saw a tiktok edit of Sukuna annihilating everything with the song “what is love?” by TWICE playing I was like wait a minute THISSS!!!#but with the Sukugo fight!!!!#I have a whole montage in my brain hear me out.... starting from 2:27 minutes in#Wonder where you are?~ I'm gonna find you~ Wonder where you are?~ I'm so dying to see you~ I can't take it much longer~#👆🏻these lyrics with that scene of Sukuna waiting for gojo on the rooftop before their fight...hmmm yes yandere vibes yes#How it could be as sweet as candy~ How it's like flying in the sky~#👆🏻These with Sukuna and gojo clashing in the sky over kenjaku#this part of the song is the slowest so a slow motion scene of them in the sky would look beautifulagghj#I wanna know know know know~ what is love?~ What love feels like~#👆🏻 these with Sukuna giving Satoru that look💀 and thinking about yorozu's words after Satoru chose their date to be on 24th..#How it keeps you smiling all day~#👆🏻 this one is obvious there are too many instances of them freakishly smiling during the fight that it's hard to choose lmao#How the whole world turns beautiful~#👆🏻cut to Sukuna saying he cleared his skies...yeah...#I wanna know know know know what is love?~ Will love come to me someday?~#👆🏻 and maybe if we're getting angsty with this... that scene of the last time “the one who will teach you about love” was brought up#in the airport where we see Sukuna from behind and Satoru says it was fun asdhjkkll#Then the song just continues with I wanna know~ I wanna know~ for 30 seconds until it ends#👆🏻 And here comes a compilation of Sukuna missing gojo and standing there looking bored and we have Yuji black flashing his heart#and sukuna looks behind him and has heart eyes for larue but it fades to him looking at yutagojo thinking it's gojo#because these two scenes are SIMILAR for some reason and then yuta failing at being gojo and sukuna copying gojo's hand sign and-#Do yall see what I mean this is their theme song fr The song being cutesy and upbeat is what makes this for me#Sukuna is living his first teenage girl experience Yall don't understand I need this so baddd I'm gonna learn how to edit and do it myself
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another funny kind of narrative dissonance with dead boy detectives is like. okay. so the boys are convinced that once a ghost's unfinished business is done, Death can find them immediately and take their souls. Which she does. When they're ready to go, she arrives and takes them where they need to go. But therefore this means that the boys immediately have to run away as soon as a case is finished or she'll take them too.
But there's also like. A whole community of ghosts. Just kind of hanging around. Everywhere. Like. In general. There are a lot of ghosts. They seem to be a whole entire community of ghosts. Emma hangs around in a graveyard, a place infamously not associated with death. Suicides apparently automatically get a special version of being a ghost where they are not in Hell but also not taken by Death to the afterlife. Like. Are all these ghosts also under the impression they're like. Pulling a fast one on Death? Do they all think that she can simultaneously turn up to where a ghost is within seconds but also somehow fails to notice a whole community of ghosts just kind of chilling in the same place for decades. Or is this like, a Charles and Edwin thing that no one has the heart to correct them on despite the fact that most ghosts are fully aware that Death simply does not give a fuck where they hang around.
#ara rambles#dead boy detectives#the existence of the lost and found department also kind of makes this more confusing#because like. what is their actual job???#because hell and Death are the ones actually taking the souls#and neither seem to need a guide on where they are???#they just turn up???#Death is death she just turns up she doesn't lose souls there is never any indication that she ever loses souls#so like. the lost and found department has an entire bureaucracy to.... keep track of young souls that aren't actually lost???#we see the devlin girls end up there for processing???so death must take them there but for what???#because the decision on hell/not hell is decided the moment they leave because either Death picks you up or Hell does#so if you're bound for Hell that's decided the moment you die#so what is the processing for??#and on that note. because again. it's not the lost and found department's job to pick up souls#that's either Death or Hell#so like. what was the Night Nurse's plan. why did she want to pick Edwin and Charles up???#That is literally not her job it has never been her job and it continues to not be her job#like the devlin girls are also lost child ghosts and it's not the night nurse who picks them up??? it's still death??#also they're a lost and found and like....#*other* people bring lost things to lost and founds#lost and founds do not actively go looking for things you lost that is not and has never been a thing#so genuinely have no idea what's going on there tbh#i have so many worldbuilding questions about this show you don't understand
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I love the bsd Wiki. What I’m saying is, Ranpoe sleepover! Ranpoe sleepover! Ranpoe sleepover! Ranpoe sleepover!
#they have a movie night with unlimited snacks for Ranpo <3#Karl falls asleep on him and then they both fall asleep on each other#Maybe one of them has their head on the other’s lap <3#(That’s how I watched bsd for the first time btw I was at this guy’s house and he was like let’s watch my favourite anime while you have#your head on my lap and then before we knew it we were just asleep like#lol not me self projecting#only Ranpoe wholesomeness here#they’re besties they’re lovers they. just they.#sending love me please PLEASE it’s been so so many years :(#someone******#.txt#bungou stray dogs#bsd ranpo#bsd edgar allan poe#ranpoe
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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Truly from the depths of my struggling heart. Viva La Vida by Coldplay belongs to one Toshinori Yagi aka the one and only All Might.
Coldplay should just sign over the rights of the song at this point promptly too.
#the song just works on so many levels#cause yeah there’s the grander theme off glory days gone past#but there’s another layer of was; I really effective or good if the minute I left everything that I had built crumbled around me#because Toshinori was the symbol of peace but any peace that can’t survive without one man isn’t true peace at all#it’s a stalemate#hero society#should never have been so easy to collapse without all might#and honestly even though it was never really fully explored that was always a layer of the story I enjoyed#the ways in which a complete dominance in a field especially one as important as heroing can hurt just as much as it can help.#because if yagi had actually let people stand beside him if he hadn’t helped to create a space where other heroes could grow complacent#because all night was there. hero society would never have collapsed so easily without him.#it’s touched on but not a lot not dope if icalry about all nights dominance#it’s why I feel like if you watched the show and your geniune conclusion was that Deku should have become the new symbol of peace#then I just think we didn’t watch the same show#And don't get me wrong I'm not saying that yagi was wrong for saving people or using his powers to the max but it was touched on repeatedly#this kind of deep fear/belief that he had. That only he could save these people and if something happened to them it was on him.#Like every case could only be solved by him and it wasnt a pride thing if anything it was a trauma response same with Izuku#the tags for this got so long i swear i don't mean to do this😭#the symbolism#symbol of peace#all might#yagi toshinori#mha toshinori#mha#bnha#boku no hero acedamia#my hero acedamia#mha analysis#music#coldplay
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oh no you guys the girl who has maybe or maybe not been living in the unit above me for weeks is really hot this is such a bad situation to be in 😖
#it’s bad because i’m likely an awful neighbor#i listen to the radio really loudly late at night and i just got a new amp for my guitar#it wasn’t a problem before because i’m separated from my other two neighbors by a stairwell and it apparently blocks all sound#they each respectively have a little happy dog and a newborn baby#which i wouldn’t have even known if i hadn’t laid eyes on said dog and said baby#anyways i want her to like me so bad but if she has in fact been living above me for weeks#(instead of being the sister of my neighbor with the baby like i originally assumed)#then she probably hates me#but we did speak for the first time just now and i gave her candy bc i’m not getting many trick or treaters#so…??? 👀#personal#i just want something gay to happen to me without having to go out and make something gay happen
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brought to you by me hosting a friend for two days who grew up in the same cultural region, and tbh will not be invited again.
#night two of spontaneously showering for over an hour with no notice just as i indicated i wanted to go to bed...#pls consider. i have to shit lol#i also have meds#i'd honestly make fuckin due if i'd had the indicators to like. idk say oh i need to grab my meds first#but also idk how to put it other than this is one of. so many behaviors that are making me just about reconsider the friendship as a whole#within 2 days#i lowkey wanna cry because this has gone so badly overall#and i feel like i'm in a position where it's both unfair for me to not communicate this distress (because maybe we could work it out)#but also if i do communicate. this individual was having and is now coming out of a hypomanic episode where they kept talking about#self harm related habits and displaying self hatred for the mildest of critiques#and they've never communicated what to do in these situations previously so idk their boundaries and honestly don't trust them to establish#boundaries that they would benefit from because they have a large history of that#so uh. yeah in conclusion i am counting the hours til they leave and i can more easily try to figure out how the fuck to handle this
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…
#i had this wonderful best friend back in high school whom i was so in love with :') but we grew apart not long after graduation#still i keep dreaming of him – i might have mentioned it here before but istg man haunts me every other week… like last night#dreamed that we found each other again and woke up in tearssss#after so many years… and im starting to think i should reach out again? but what if my dumbass falls in love with him again 🙄#could be my own fluff/angst fic yk hahaha#either way im v confused and i might delete this post later bc it's so personal but UGH i needed to say this
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“The Terminal Seconds of Moon Knight,” Moon Knight (Vol. 9/2021), #30.
Writer: Jed MacKay; Penciler and Inker: Alessandro Cappuccio; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight vol. 9#Moon Knight 2021#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Khonshu#I always appreciate Mr. Cappuccio but I particularly appreciate how he was able to portray the complex emotion in that second to last panel#because gooooosh can’t believe I get to use this tag again#Khonshu encounter me in the trench#the man is dying and doing his best to save the city and Khonshu still manages to make it about him#because while we don’t get much in the way of Marc’s internal dialogue I feel like we can infer based on other issues in this run#that this time around Marc’s not doing this for Khonshu#there have been many times in Marc’s life where he’s sought Khonshu’s blessing or approval or notice or what have you#- I’m thinking (as much as I usually don’t like to) about the opening issues of the Huston run -#but this ain’t one of those times (it just happens to protect travelers of the night so Khonshu can claim it is all)#but yeah it’s the last panel for me#that dubious honor of having Khonshu be proud of him and the complex relationship that he and the whole system has with Khonshu#even though Khonshu has habitually tried to colonize his psyche and used him as a disposable pawn#there’s just something in Moon Knight comics pertaining to complex intra- and interpersonal relationships#with one’s own spirituality and sense of self and organized religion and fathers and distant gods#that I just cannot bring myself to shut up about (…unfortunately for the Moon Knight tumblr tag and as you may have figured#based on the metaphorical ink I’ve spilled on this blog)
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I hate being such an over thinker because anytime I write something angsty, I always worry that it sounds better in my head and is not enough angst 😩
#like my goal is to write something gut wrenching 😭#I know we are our own worst critics but I just wanna write something that moves other like music moves me#I am working on an angst fic rn#but i really want to write about another Rhysand’s sister oc whose story gives off angst#different to my other OC (Valeria)#so many ideas and I waste most of my time overthinking 😭#I also am so self conscious of my writing when it comes to actual plot lines and character development#for the same reason…overthinking#anyway sorry for my tag rambling#idk if anyone ever reads this but if you happen to be reading this…#hi lol#hope you have a good day/night 💜#hope rambles
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