#i have such complicated feelings about this ship in part bc we havent really met lilith so dont know what shes about yet
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more monochrome practice I suppose
#tumblr getting this version of this drawing bc i dont want to get in trouble for drawing them nakey#so its date night vibes instead of like eden vibes#i have such complicated feelings about this ship in part bc we havent really met lilith so dont know what shes about yet#but i know in my heart there was a time they loved each other so much and so this is that#honestly would love so much to get backstory on the eden crew and the happenings there even just like a flashback in an episode or somethin#but lowkey im on the 'hoping they get divorced but deeply care about one another and are a part of each others lives' train#bc thats kind of more interesting to me than them getting back together bc i think the crux of it is how much theyve changed and a part of#their relationship getting to the point where lilith disappeared maybe being them both trying to desperately to salvage it and in doing so#making it worse bc they felt like they ruined their lives to be together and so what was the point of it all if they weren't anymore?? but#like theyre immortal so of course theyre going to change and of course theres a chance that the relationship doesnt work even if they deepl#love one another and always will and i just like the closure of that and admitting they arent right for each other in that way anymore but#they still love and care about each other and will never lose that#this is rambling and doesnt make as much sense as when i was typing it on a different post i am wondering now if theres a limit on how many#tags i can put here bc im just yapping at this point whoops#anyway i need to buck up and actually finish/post that draft i have about my very long and complicated hazbin ship opinions#lucilith#hazbin hotel#lilith morningstar#lilith hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lilith#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lilith
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all the lgbt asks :+)
fuck you.
What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?transmasc (technically genderfluid but iām very much transmasc) + he/him and ae/aem/aer
How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?idk. i just never rlly liked girls. didnāt really care much for dating at all but i was def more attracted to guys, and so i IDād as mlm for most of middle school to high school. now i lean more towards bi - and ID as bi - but i still use mlm for myself.
Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?hahah yeah. even when i was going byĀ āBenjaminā back in high school i was constantly misgendered. i just dealt with it. was too much of a pushover to say anything so i just ignored it kdnsknaksnd
Who was the first person you told, how did they react?some guy i was friends with that who obviously liked me. he took it pretty well, told me to tell my friend if i really wanted.
Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?i was impulsive and so i just. did it. i donāt really remember much about it - it didnāt feel that significant to me because i was SO disconnected from gender and identity, and i also just donāt remember small details well.
If youāre out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?parents just. took it well ig. made an effort to use the name i wanted, were supportive enough. mumās done more research than my step dad has - he thinks he can say the q slur lol - and was there along side me for a lot of my transition progress, but overall theyāve both been okay. at least with the binary stuff. iām not open to them about my sexuality or the indepth details of my identity, aka my new pronouns and name - so it kinda sucks - but overall it was pretty good. friends were okay about it, had a few name hiccups with them usingĀ āemā for me instead of emmett (which i was going as at the time) but *shrug*
What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?no one ever asks me shit KDNSKNDkdn and tbh i donāt think anything would bother me? unless the person is being an asshole about it, iām really open to answering questions.
Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.i donāt really know what Style i have but like, lately iāve gone back to just wearings leggings, big jackets, and then tank tops/my croptop. i used to be rlly rlly anal about like, Presenting As Male, and tbh i was really uncomfortable during that time. being overweight, i just felt ugly and gross and clunky. and so iām glad iāve gone back to wearing more fem stuff bc like. it fits me better, i love and feel better, and i have more options.
Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?uhhh for bnha iād say my faves right now are: bakukami/bakukirikami, kamisero, todoiida, iiseroyama, and then minamomojirou.
What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?iāve never been one to wear make up. the furthest i ever went was using BB cream and then nail polish, and i havenāt used BB cream in years. i own One bottle of nail polish now and itās this clear stuff with gold glitter chunks in it.
Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?not... really? i USED to big time. but now iāve just mellowed out since shifting towards nonbinary/genderfluid and stuff. back when i was Set on beingĀ ā100% FTMā i was super dysphoric. i just hated hearing she/her pronouns, and thatās really the only time i get dysphoric now - and when people call me a girl, but yāknow dknskndd - and so... most of the time iām good. iām on T (have been for 2 years, though i havent been taking it lately due to complications with my endo clinic - and iām almost a year and a half past getting top surgery - which im happy w/ bc i had a huge chest, though i do sometimes miss my boobs - and so iām pretty good!
What is the stupidest thing youāve heard said about the lgbt+ community?there are SO many dumb things iāve heard over the years of being on tumblr/online/at public high school, so i donāt know how to give this just ONE answer dknsandnknds
Whatās your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?theĀ āi canāt read/drive/do mathā jokes bc iām gay
Whatās your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?i could say a lot of things here but i do NOT wanna risk starting any shit so KDNSKNDSKND
Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?iāve been to pride as part of my schoolās team for the parade once! i havenāt gone since just bc i donāt really have anyone in my city iād like to go with
Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?iām REALLY disconnected from celebrities... i really canāt answer thiskNDksnd
Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?a bunch! currently i have two boyfriends and i met both of them through bnha discord servers - specifically rp servers KDNSKDNSKNd
What is your favourite lgbt+ book?i canāt read! (i genuinely canāt remember the names of any gay books iāve read so SOBS)
Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?yup! iāve been called slurs in public, had people obviously try and figure out my gender - fun fact: one time a guy very obvious leaned over at me as i passed by to try and look down my sweater to check my chest B) - uhhh misgendering on purpose. nothing physical yet thankfully, but yāknow.
Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?i am LOVING carole and tuesday rn im ngl KDNSKND
Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?all my mutuals ;)
Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?q slur, thatās all i can claim KDNSkdnĀ iāll use it when i know the people around me are comfortable seeing/hearing it but otherwise i just keep it toĀ āq slurā
Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?nope. almost did once - this dude in my city wanted to take me, and at the time we were friends and i had a crush on him, and we wouldāve had a uh. fling. if weād gone - but never did end up going. shit happens KDNSKND
How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?idk iām just like. iām a dude - iām NOT a girl, 100% not a girl - but at the same time, iām not a dude? iām not agender but itās like... iām just SO disconnected from the idea of having a gender but iām super comfortable IDāing as a guy because i find comfort it in (and in being able to say things like Yeah Iām Transmac and Yeah Iām MLM) but really itās just. a big blur. i shift between being a Dude and then being Kind Of A Dude and then Not Being Anything and then Being ???Ā Ā so yeah kdsnkdn
Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?nope. trauma fucked me up and i donāt wanna ever risk putting a child through anything. i wouldnāt be able to handle parenting a child. if ANYTHING iād adopt an older kid, early/late teens, but idk.
What identity advice would you give your younger self?you donāt have to MAKE sure every one knows youāre a Dude. you donāt HAVE to pass at male. you feel so much more uncomfortable when you confuse people about your gender, when you wear want you want and what you feel comfortable wearing. youāre gonna hate looking back on yourself in a couple years because youāll realize just how caught up you got in toxic masculinity, but it gets better. you get more comfortable being You and doing what You Want, and youāll find people who accept that more than your current friends ever could. it gets better. you get better.
What do you think of gender roles in relationships?*throws them out the window*Ā
Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?toxic masculinity is a BITCH and i wishhhh that iād had more understanding friends. thereās something just so sad and... weird... about the idea of FORCING yourself to have toĀ āpassā at all times - whenĀ āpassingā is a dumb enough concept itself - but idk. i learnt a lot from it, even if it sucked.
What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?it really isnāt easy. every day youāre dealing with stuff, from yourself and from other people, so let us have our jokes. let us have our pride. let us be loud about who we are.
Why are proud to be lgbt+?cause it means iām not cishet LOLif you read through all of this: why? why do that to yourselfkNDKSNd
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