#like the fact any of them were aware enough to do their jobs is crazy cause like they all do the entirety of their one position

[dykedvonte]

This is something I've only seen on the game's TV Tropes page, but what do you think of the idea that Curly's less than perfect decisions were because he was sleep deprived?

I think it’s one of the factors on many.

To say it’s the biggest reason pushes past a lot of stuff and other concepts but I do think his “zoning out” and slow reactions were extrapolated by not sleeping enough. We can kinda infer he used the coffee machine to supplement the sleep he missed despite it keeping him up worse. Losing that in tandem with the last weeks stressors is like anxiety on top of caffeine withdrawal, but the machines been broke for a while so he’s likely over it. So I do think he was sleep deprived but it was more so the beginning stages of fog, irritability and struggles with organizing thoughts.

Like I put his sleep deprivation in one of the faults of capitalism and Pony Express when it comes to things Curly couldn’t handle vs just didn’t Janel well, it was out of his control. Like he is the Captain but also the main pilot, idk if yall know but 5 hours is not enough for like a nice day of relaxing let alone flying a space craft. It’s not just sleep deprivation but exhaustion from the monotony of work at play. If his psych eval is any indication he has been running on autopilot for a while, doubly so if we consider that sort of dissociative hallucination before Jimmy’s eval as another dash on his not all there ness.

A weird design of work relaxation balance from P.E as I feel like it makes accidents more likely to happen, but if that includes more reasons to dock pay then I can see why they made it that way.

[ybklix]

somebody’s watching me

♱‧₊˚.pairing: lee minho x camgirl!femreader ⋆⁺₊✧ 𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔: Meeting a mysterious and secretive man excites every part of you, yet without you realizing it, he watches you from his window on a lonely night, not aware that it would ignite a new behavior in him. ⋆｡°⛧ 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 — 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: MDNI, smut, stalker & soft dom minho, perv and obsessive tendencies, voyeurism, mention of sex worker, teasing, overstimulation, sextape, fingering, masturbation, cunnilingus, chocking, spanking, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names, slight dirty talk, cumplay, cumshoot, sex toys, mention of mental illness. ⭒₊ ⊹✩₊˚.₊ ⊹⭒ 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 18.5k

♬⋆.˚ somebody’s watching me by rockwell 🕸️ every breath you take by the police

(𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘁𝗼𝗯𝗲𝗿 '𝟮𝟰) - 𝔴𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯 ₊˚🕯️♱‧₊˚. 02: psycho

It was such a lonely night, he didn’t know exactly why he felt that way, besides the obvious fact that he was alone; he came home alone, just like any other day of his life, being greeted by no one but the sweet and warm company of 3 felines, which was more than enough for him, but Lee Minho had already gotten so used to that. He arrived tired from his work, with no thoughts in his mind and acting more automatically with his routine: getting to his apartment, taking a shower and trying to relax, abandoning the immensity of thoughts that flooded his head more and more like annoying voices repeating the same thing over and over again, what was he doing with his life and the existential question if it was really worth what he was doing, he was an adult, an average man, seemingly normal to everyone’s eyes, but he was hiding his own demons and secrets, as he was no longer a proper guy, he was a private detective working in one or another questionable job, making him live in the shadows because, despite his tough image, he lived in uncertainty and in the indescribable fear of humanity, Minho had seen so much that he was not proud of, and that made him think that he was a terrible person… sometimes he felt too much and sometimes he was just a completely heartless guy doing his job.

It was hard for him to live before society as an average man, living alone, a citizen blending in among the people, but his real hidden life was more than that. He gave up working for justice long ago just for a little money, leading him to have the apartment of his dreams in one of the best and safest areas of the city… but sometimes he wondered at what cost, if he never felt satisfied, much less safe, he didn’t even trust his own shadow. He was recruited years ago for his incredible finding ability and among other things, Lee Minho was a damn modern ninja, he knew how to fight, kill, and was so stealthy and clean with his moves, but none of that caused him pride, sometimes he wondered, what did he need in his life to experience even the true sentiment of feeling fulfilled.

Minho sighed, he really didn’t understand why the sudden feeling of wanting to fill his life. But there he was again questioning himself. His alarm suddenly rang, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and instantly silenced it, he grimaced, knowing exactly what it referred to… it was his medication time. His job was not easy, he was rolling in money doing favors and special missions… in exchange for a bit of his deteriorating mental health, post trauma and stress were real, he used to go to the psychiatrist on Thursdays and had his special medication to get back to being the same average and functional man… otherwise he would go crazy, or at least he thought so. Anxiety, paranoia, and small episodes of delirium that were labeled as schizophrenia and certain antisocial personality traits accompanied a poor Minho. His doctor warned him that he could not live alone, that he feared he would suddenly suffer a psychotic break and he knew the risk of being given pills without keeping track of them so every day he visited his doctor for his daily dose. Minho was a patient of psychiatrist Dr. Kim, a patient of very detailed importance, and his curiosity about him grew every day because deep down he felt that there was something in Minho that he needed to work on better… but Minho’s money was also very important, enough to shut him up, plus he was a little afraid of him because of the dangerous work that Lee Minho was involved in.

He took the small plastic bag with his pills out of his jeans pocket, put them in the palm of his hand, and looked at them, a combination of antipsychotics and antidepressants… knowing what he was taking put him even more in a loop of emotions, it depressed him to know he was dependent on drugs in his youth, he was unhappy and the constant fear of having no purpose ate at him again, the anxiety returned, over thinking if he was doing the right thing, if this was what his life should be or if he was wasting his potential, Minho was a killing machine and a lethal weapon of intelligence gathering, he was agile, stealthy, clean, smart and cunning. He was a modern-day spy and ninja.

Minho bit his lip, hesitating whether to take his medication or leave it for that night…. he saw his cat rubbing between his feet… and abruptly and suddenly closed his hand, deciding not to take them that day. He wanted to feel normal, a young man of almost thirty, living alone, enjoying his night because his heavy work was over, so far Minho had no mission and just the one he had finished had left him so economically rewarded as to take his things and run away on vacation… but no he didn’t exactly want that, he felt he wanted to enjoy his solitude, his apartment, he was a bit antisocial, he didn’t feel like socializing with people, he wanted to feel normal and his mind spun thinking about what a normal man at his age could do.

He sighed again, this time audibly, tossing the pills on his desk almost contemptuously, his medication was putting him to sleep, making him feel out of himself, or at least that’s what he felt. The silence made him hopelessly uncomfortable, making him nervous, and he ran to his living room only to turn on the television, letting himself watch the news channel, just to hear something more than his constant and disturbing thoughts; he didn’t pay attention to the TV and kept walking in the darkness of his apartment, he had forgotten to turn on the lights, he was about to do it but the impulse of wanting to be illuminated by the city and the night took over him, suddenly opening the curtains of his big window, his mind went from one thought to another, while he opened the curtain he thought of ordering some dinner and watching a movie, doing little things that someone sane and healthy would do, without getting carried away by the calming effect of the medication that would put him to bed in seconds. He was going to have energy, maybe drink alcohol, he hadn’t consumed it in a long time because he was on medication… but every one of his thoughts ceased just as he saw you.

For the first time in a long time his mind experienced silence and tranquility, for the first time in a long time each of his senses awoke to something unrelated to his work.

In front of his window was another apartment building, popular for being an old and exclusive building where most of its residents were older people, adults with families, businessmen, and people with money, it was a serious building, and it was so rare to see a young woman alone living in that building… unless of course, you were a young newlywed living in your first kind of ‘home’, Minho knew everything about the area he lived in, he knew what each of his neighbors did and who were the people who lived in his apartment building, not because he was sociable and knew them casually… but he knew every detail because of his careful, suspicious and obsessive personality. His doctor wanted to call it something else… one more diagnosis to his list instead of just calling it something characteristic of the intelligent, investigative nature of his personality, because clearly, the behavior was not normal. But Minho knew little about his neighbors in the building across the street, he knew the names of some, and their occupations, and he knew enough to not consider anyone a threat or something he should be on the lookout for… or have an episode of paranoia. He knew of the one young man who lived there at 221-B who looked about his age range named Han Jisung, who was the son of a major millionaire, who moved there because that street meant money, status, and elite and that Jisung would bump into Minho from time to time on his morning jogs, acting friendlier than Minho could stand since they were the same age and the only young men on the street.

He flicked his eyeballs in a quick glance at the windows of the people across the street, disinterested and ready to continue on his way through his home… but something, in particular, stopped him from moving forward, something so captivated his gaze that it made him remain in shock, stopping his gaze on that fixed point, transfixed in his spot as he opened his big round eyes, shocked and absorbed at what was going on in that apartment and what he witnessed that night of which suddenly became uncommon and exciting.

Minho licked his lips, unable to believe it and unable to take his eyes off that window, the movements of his eyes were fast and agile catching every detail of what was happening in that apartment… for the first time in a long time, thousands of sensations exploded inside him, unknown sensations beyond the adrenaline of the constant danger and fear in his daily work, beyond the mental illnesses that were bringing him down every day… it was thrilling, exciting, forbidden and kinky. Who are you…? It was the only thing that crossed his mind as you took his breath away. It was a beautiful girl, the silhouette of her, naked on her bed, with her body illuminated in what seemed to be an led light recording, it was you, a stranger to Minho, completely without the slightest idea that they could see you because you trusted the seller saying that your window was one of those where you could not see inside during the night, so you had just moved in and you were making your typical adult content, pornographic and dirty which generated you an exaggerated amount of money.

Minho was hiding in the dark, watching you, analyzing your every move with curiosity as if he was witnessing a woman’s naked body for the first time as if he was discovering pornography and living in shame of being discovered, starting to excite his manly body… you were making him question, when was the last time he had felt this sexually aroused, when was the last time he had masturbated out of boredom, and excitement, the last time he had fantasized or desired someone, the last time he had been intimate, had sex… possessed another woman’s body for pleasure. He cursed his antidepressants, thinking it was obvious that the adverse effects from his long-term medication were affecting him, diminishing his libido.

He watched you lustfully, his cock getting harder and harder, he watched your silhouette sideways, spreading your legs as you gently and slowly inserted a dildo into your cunt, how your head fell back moaning in arousal and your hair fell gracefully, how you looked seductively to the front where you gently bit your lip and massaged your naked soft breasts as your hand pushed the sex toy into you, Minho delighted, almost imagining the sound of your moans and then watched as you settled back to pretend you were riding the dildo. He not only examined your naked body but admired, what he could from a distance, your sweet, pretty jovial profile side.

He felt dirty, and lurid, like a hormonal young man magically discovering that a hot neighbor was the most typical and dreamed-of sexual fantasy, a young woman who lived for the adult entertainment industry… he felt like a man again.

He examined the room, there wasn’t much more than your bed and the tripod with what appeared to be a cell phone…. Minho deduced… you were either recording yourself for later, or you were one of those of which they were live. He couldn’t take it anymore, he had to find you right now. He let out a gasp and felt his cock throb painfully choking in his pants, he couldn’t stop watching you… but he had something better to watch if you were doing it live. He cursed in annoyance that he had to take his eyes off of you and with bated breath and trembling hands —sensations of which deep down he was rejoicing in pleasure and happiness that he could feel alive again and not like some kind of inhuman, unhappy creature— he grabbed his cell phone, quickly searching the database of the building across the street, it took him three minutes to log in and find out the name and identity of each of his guests. Minho was desperate, his heart pounding because he had to find out who you were and what pages you were on, now. He was still looking straight ahead making sure you were there while he was in a desperate wait to be able to hack into the system.

He blinked suddenly, thinking quickly about what floor you were on and what your apartment number might be.

There you were. Shining before his eyes just as you were just now in your room.

Y/n — 223-B. Female. DOB: 11/02/2002. You were young, too young for him, to live alone and do those things, he thought. But he couldn’t let you go like that. You were the one who made him feel human again. He was becoming obsessed.

He studied your data and in frustration rushed for his laptop, turning it on and bringing it right in front of his window. Something in him told him he must feel like a maniac to be doing all that… but another part taking over told him it was feeling so good… to have a purpose, a mission, to find out something he was genuinely interested in. He repeated your name in his head over and over again. Y/n, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n.

Minho rubbed the bridge of his nose, frustrated, about to act the fastest in his entire career so he could find out about you, in two minutes he got every social network of yours, your academic history, birthplace, and phone number. He knew that getting information took some time but he wanted to know what kind of services you did and there it suddenly was. Your OnlyFans username. Minho sighed in relief and again a rush of adrenaline filled his body, it felt so wrong but so right, he was so curious.

He filled in data quickly, linked his card with the data already saved on his laptop, and was impressed to see how famous you were on such a site… and there you were. Live. Minho looked up at your window one last time before he went engrossed to the first thing he could sit at and put his laptop on, his table. More quality, more closeness, and a close-up of your beautiful sweet pussy, swollen from constant stimulation, dripping and glistening, Minho felt virginal, a first-timer watching something so exciting. He looked around the rest of the room, white walls, and horror movie posters… you liked horror movies then, you lived alone as only your name was registered in the database... and you were so young making that content, it was wrong, so wrong he guiltily pulled his cock out of his pants and began to masturbate to your image, moaning through his teeth as he felt his pulsating erection on his rough hand, fantasizing about fucking you, about having his tongue trapped in your slick… he missed the feeling of masturbating, of feeling alive and with purpose, in a soft moan you made Lee Minho cum and filled his hand with his semen, you had changed him forever. But he couldn’t help but feel jealous of the other people who could see you and were doing the same as him.

Minho wanted to get to know you up close, but suddenly his curiosity got the better of him. He wanted to hear your voice and know why you were doing it... who are you.

Minho was able to hack into your account and see all the content you had for free, but something in him thought you were worth every fucking penny. That night was like no other, he cummed so many times he ended up exhausted, his cock and hand sore and tender, scared of everything his body could throw out. That night Minho spent it like a sick man watching absolutely every video and picture of you, masturbating uncontrollably until he left his cock red from the constant stimulation… if that was what you caused him without even knowing you, he already wanted to have you all to himself… but it wasn’t all a dirty sexual fantasy, it was also a dirty dark obsessive fantasy.

That night Minho didn’t sleep at all, he investigated every detail about you. He found out where you grew up, what schools you attended, that you used to live with your mother and stepfather, you have an older brother a couple of years older than Minho, your father died when you were fifteen but your parents were divorced since you were little, you have a 12-year-old younger half-sister whom you miss, you just finished college but you started your OnlyFans account earlier this year. Since then in all these months your popularity has grown to the point of taking you to live in that building. You had two best friends, one of them lives in the city in another area, Minho knew their names, occupations, ages, and workplaces and that they had been your friends since childhood. You had a boyfriend at 17 but it was nothing serious, you lasted two months, you love the horror genre, and art and cinema are your real passions, but you studied and graduated in something more practical because you had little hope of making money graduating in arts, you gave up your dreams but now you were generating millions making adult content… Minho wondered if that was your dream.

You for your part, after that precise live streaming you felt a little strange… besides the fact that you overstimulated yourself and were recording yourself while masturbating, but you had an eerie feeling that someone was watching you, so you closed your curtain and decided to go about your activities with the window covered.

Minho saw your window with the curtain in place the next morning, but he knew it all by then. You are generally shy, but charismatic, you graduated with a high GPA from high school and were doing well in college. You come from a small town and no one but your best friends know about your source of income as an adult content creator, you fool your mother and stepfather that you have a steady job in the city in an office and send them money from time to time, you lived with your best friend after graduating until you just moved out on your own on Roxbury St. and you had a small job in an old and famous bookstore which the owner is an old artist who worked in movies, galleries and so on. You worked Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, 9 to 5 to keep your mind busy, to feel unashamed to walk down the street, as if the night before you hadn’t recorded yourself over-stimulating and self-pleasuring yourself.

Then Minho put his plan in action, his new mission was you, beyond fucking you, he wanted to hear your voice, to know you better, you seemed so cute, sweet, tender, and innocent to keep doing that kind of content, he was so curious about you, if at some point you will try to resume your dream by paying your own career, if you need help in something and he can give it to you; he was nervous, imagining your voice, your gestures, and manners… the only thing he had no idea about was your type, Minho wanted to make the best impression on you, he wanted you to like him, your last boyfriend was a skinny freckled guy absolutely nothing to do with Minho, but still he had some hope… he never considered himself unattractive, but it was little details he never stopped to think about, in fact, he had stopped thinking about women and flirting since a long time ago, until you showed up.

He smoothed out his sweater and entered the bookstore, the scent of cinnamon and apple filled him completely. A sound of a bell opening the door accompanied him, he looked to the side, finding the place classically decorated in dark wood and dim light only, but he was looking for you. You were tidying up the main desk a bit, passing the time, until you heard the little bell on the door and settled your body to look quickly towards the entrance, with the slight hope of meeting the grandson of the owner of the place, who was handsome and you couldn’t help but have a little crush on him, but you were surprised to find another equally handsome man, with an enigmatic and magnetic beauty, dressed in a navy blue sweater with white stripes, light blue jeans and white shoes, his appearance was clean, fresh and manly. You approached him happily.

He looked for you with his eyes, subtly without looking like a crazy person that the only thing he wanted was to see you and a smile without showing his teeth formed on his face when he saw you approaching him, accelerating his heart, making him feel like an excited teenager and finally you were next to him, a little more than a foot away, you smiled shyly at him, putting your arms behind your back. Minho studied your every move, your every blink, it was as if a divine figure was approaching him in slow motion, with a divine melody in the background, as if you were shining and an imaginary wind was playing with your hair. He saw everything about you, from your black mini skirt, dr. martens boots, your thin white strapless blouse and the modestly cute pink cardigan you wore on top, with a necklace adorning your neck. He couldn’t believe he had you this close.

“Welcome,” you said politely. Honestly, there was no one else in the store, so not approaching him seemed rude. Besides, he was a cute guy. “Can I help you with anything?”

Minho’s world stopped at the sound of your voice, his skin bristled, it was as if a beautiful, cool, soothing autumn breeze delicately hit his face, a feeling he had stopped enjoying so long ago. He was thankful he was wearing a sweater, otherwise you would have seen his arm hairs bristle and his skin change. He thought you were prettier up close, your makeup intact, your sweet, floral perfume scent, he felt he was dreaming for a moment.

“Mmm… I’ll just be watching” he spoke a little nervously, forgetting the last time he talked to a girl he liked, “Well, actually, I’m looking for something by Lovecraft and Stephen King.”

Your smile widened a little and Minho noticed the sparkle in your eyes, locking his gaze with yours. Bingo, Minho had hit the target. You took the bait, you loved horror. And it was true, an attractive man walks into your workplace, black-haired, honey-smooth skin, big, dark, sharp eyes, straight velvety eyebrows with a soft arch, long eyelashes, sharp nose and lips in the shape of a soft heart, he dressed well, smelled good and was looking for something in the horror genre, the quick thought that he was the man of your dreams and the love of your life crossed your mind.

“Sure, the horror section is in the second aisle… do you want me to help you if you’re looking for something specific…?”

Please say yes, you thought, wanting to spend more time with the cute guy.

“Sure, please…”

You smiled, walking beside him to the bookshelves.

“Anything special?” you asked.

Minho couldn’t help but seek to look into your eyes, in a way you found it tender and intense, his big eyes slightly wider, watching you, you liked it.

“Well, from Lovecraft I want something that's good for a 9 year old girl who likes horror to start to read, and from King it’s something recreational for me.”

But what a choice of words, you thought.

Your hopes went to the floor, thinking please please please, this girl is not about his daughter, he looked young, but older than you, plus he didn’t wear a ring on his finger… there was nothing wrong with him having a daughter, just that your little fantasy made in 5 seconds would fall apart.

“Ah, I understand” you pretended to look through the books, wanting to disguise your next question, “Do you have a younger sister…?”

“Oh no, well, almost” he snickered, “It’s for my best friend’s little sister’s present but his family is practically mine too.”

You pouted tenderly, relieved to hear it was just that; he was cute, liked horror and got along well with kids, it was too good to be true. Minho knew how to hit the target again. You loved horror and using a little girl as an excuse would make you remember the great love you have for your little sister and make you sympathize with him more. He had it under control; what he couldn’t control was whether or not after that little encounter you would end up liking him or not, but he hoped you would.

“Well, there’s this collection of Lovecraft stories is good and for you…”

Minho saw you with a small smile and you were interrupted by his arm reaching out to grab a book, passing close to your face.

“I’ll take secret window, secret garden, I wanted to see the movie but I think I’ll read the book first.”

He gave you a shy smile as he held his book in his hands and you looked at him engrossed and gone for a second… feeling a strange sensation in you… maybe butterflies, maybe restlessness, you wondered if this man was your destiny or why all of a sudden so many connections: you had literally just rated and left a comment 3 days ago on your Letterboxd account about the 2004 movie based on that book.

“Yeah… the movie is good” you replied gone.

Minho frowned, studying your movements, “So… should I read the book first or watch the movie?”

“Ah, never mind, I don’t have a specific order. I like the movies more. Anything else?” you added, coming out of your trance.

“I think that’s all for now…. thank you.”

“Well, let’s go to the counter.”

Minho didn’t want to get away from you just like that, in his mind you were somewhat more talkative, more outgoing to him and you had a radiant personality, just like the first minutes of meeting you but he noticed how little by little that glow was gone from you, like you were disappointed… he wondered if he had done something wrong.

It was obvious that you were a little glum, you liked that stranger, you didn’t even know his name but you saw yourself together with him having little dates… maybe it was a little exaggerated and hasty to think but, he looked young, cute and that’s how dating and relating after all worked, with a stranger you suddenly know and like, but you have a very big problem in yourself. As much as you wished you were a simple girl living in the big busy city, with your perfect makeup and perfect attire being nothing more than a woman working in a bookstore… you weren’t, you were a sex worker and you always believed that no man was going to take you seriously, in situations like that you just wanted to cry, you wanted the cute guy to pay and walk away leaving you to wander in your deeply sunken heart. You had this belief that any man was going to humiliate you or run away from you as soon as you confessed to him the real way you get money… and you couldn’t leave the job, it really was such a good economic livelihood, the money was exaggerated and you were only in that bookstore to clear your mind and not feel dirty all the time that what you do is practically filming yourself masturbating, plus you were a great admirer of the bookstore owner and the old man had an appreciation for you since he believed you were a good young girl, he looked at you with such pure eyes that made your day. Sometimes you thought you would end up alone, as youth didn’t last forever and people get bored fast, sometimes you thought you had to start flirting with people in the same industry as you.

Oh, but you had absolutely no idea who the man standing in front of you was and what he was capable of. He already knew that and more about you, he was obsessed.

You charged the man, biting your lip nervously, this time avoiding eye contact, you couldn’t help but feel lonely all of a sudden, you wanted a normal life but you had that social rejection for yourself, directly assuming that making money doing what you did was something shameful.

“Mmm and… don’t you wrap books here as gifts or something?” he suddenly spoke, meeting your gaze, bending down gently as you were still crestfallen.

You chuckled softly and looked up to see his big eyes sparkle.

“No… in fact no one has ever asked before, but for what it’s worth, I think you can use the bag as such, it’s nice.”

Minho looked at the details of the paper bag, decorated and printed in the bookstore’s unique design.

“Ahh, sure, the bookstore of the great artist Hwang Hyunwoo, it’s my first time here, really, it’s nice, I think I will come back… for more books.”

“Well, you only brought one” you smiled at him, playing along a bit.

Minho, a handsome stranger in front of you, laughed, adorably showing his teeth.

“True, but it’s because I want to come back” you blushed a little and Minho couldn’t resist, he wanted to let you know he was interested, give you those subtle signals, “You work here every day?”

“Mmm, yes” you answered shyly for the first time, over analyzing his look, his body language, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up, still you answered him, “I’m here almost every day, on Saturdays Mr. Hwang’s grandson is here and on Sundays it’s closed.”

He smiled broadly, “That’s good to know, thank you… since I moved in recently I’ve been trying to look for different healthy habits and relax, like reading a book, maybe you can recommend me more of the new stuff that came in” he added tenderly, putting it on the air that he just moved in.

He just moved in, just like you. Once again you took the bait just as he wanted you to and again you said subtly and softly.

“Sure, you can come over anytime. Did you move nearby?”

“Not really, I came here because I wanted to get to know the place but now I live on Roxbury street.”

Your heart pounded hard, it was too many connections and coincidences that you couldn’t take it anymore, you were almost scared, scared that someone this perfect and cute would suddenly come into your grey life. This time you didn’t want to play along, you wanted him to leave before you could get to know each other more, before he ends up horrified or inside a fantasy with a merely sexual purpose with you.

“Oh, I see. Yes it is a bit far, but… I hope you can come soon.”

Minho again noticed your sudden change, your muffled tone of voice, in his mind you should have said excitedly that you lived on the exact same street… but your reaction was very different than planned, leaving you more as someone unpredictable and mysterious, leaving Minho even more intrigued about anything and everything about you.

“I will. Thank you… what’s your name?” he dared to say, earning from you to look him warmly in the eyes again.

He knew, but he wanted your first meeting to be so natural and a nice chance.

“Y/N.”

“I’m Minho. It was a pleasure, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Have a nice day” you smiled at him.

Of course it would be a nice day for Minho. He talked to you, came closer to you, saw your smile dazzle his face and your fingers which naughtily played with your femininity the night before. From today he could not stop. Your new story had already begun.

You watched him leave and sighed as soon as he walked through the door and lost himself in the crowd and on the sidewalk. You sighed taking all the air out as if you were holding your breath. Minho, you thought, Minho from Roxbury, your exact same street… he must have money, he looked so ordinary, you mean, like a nice man, but his beauty was unmatched.

You continued your regular activities while Minho managed to sneak into the perfect spot to watch every movement in the bookstore. He sat by the window of the coffee shop across the street, so he watched each of the customers coming in, counting the approximate time they were coming in, all the while pretending to read a book, eat, and be on his laptop. Everything was going well, until a tall, black-haired man with a thin build came in around 4 p.m. and after half an hour he immediately made Minho uneasy.

Minho couldn’t see anything of him, other than his back, his clothes and his long shoulder-length hair, but to his luck, the man had parked his luxurious car right in front of the bookstore, causing Minho to have the license plate number, but to his fate, he felt under pressure, as if someone was watching him, as if the people in the coffee shop were watching him so he couldn’t comfortably perform his stalker activities, discovering even the guy’s dirtiest secret just by his license plate. And he didn’t want to go to the bathroom either to have privacy, he would lose sight of you and lose sight of the guy. So Minho found a secret way to look up the information on his phone, secretly putting it under the table and starting his search.

Hwang Hyunjin. He was the owner of the car, and probably of the store, since it was Hwang Hyunwoo’s grandson, and he was also clearly the man who came in and was still in the store from a while ago, with you alone since no one else had come in anymore… plus you were not long in closing, Minho thought since it was 4:44 p.m. and the Hyunjin didn’t get out of there.

He began to fret, to get annoyed. He shook his leg frantically in despair as his gaze darkened and he didn’t take his eyes off the bookstore, more than forty minutes had passed and Minho could only think of the worst, it was torturing him not being able to know exactly what was going on and what he was to you. If Minho wanted total control of you he would have to steal your cell phone so he could transfer all the information to him and see your every move on the cell phone… but he wouldn’t do that plus he wanted to know what you were doing face to face with someone else, every second that passed he was losing more of his sanity; he couldn’t bear the thought of seeing you with someone else, you were already his, or so he thought. Hyunjin was rich, a grown man, he was married but shit, you were too beautiful not to want to risk everything for a simple caress or kiss from you.

4:46. Hyunjin was with you for forty-six minutes by yourselves. Absolutely anything could have happened in that time, caressing your body, running his hands through your hair, Minho wanted to murder him as soon as he saw Hyunjin get out of there and get into his vehicle to leave. Minho would have followed him… but the good news was that you did not leave with him.

Sixteen minutes passed and at exactly 5:01 you closed the place. By that time Minho was already waiting in his car, ready to follow you, since he already knew you were walking all that long way from work to your apartment.

On the other hand, you didn’t have the slightest idea that you were being followed by the cute boy you met in the afternoon that you couldn’t get out of your head, Minho… until, of course, then Hyunjin showed up at the bookstore and you completely forgot about Minho’s existence. You liked Hyunjin from the first moment you met him, when you shyly came to ask for a job and he was standing next to the legend, and his grandfather Hwang Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo and Hyunjin quickly trusted you and put you in the absolute care of the bookstore like they had never done with anyone before. You were grateful, plus you could occasionally delight visually and in all platonic realms with Hwang Hyunjin, as he was older, another well-known artist and a married man. You still enjoyed every second you spent with him because he was like a pure and cute crush who made you remember how human you were. Hyunjin was gentle, shy and cute, his flirtations were soft and subtle, never crossing the fine line between you and the great tension of kissing whenever you were alone in a room.

Hyunjin arrived that day to tidy up a bit since he would be working the next day. He stayed a while ordering the books and checking boring inventories when… you both knew it was a silly excuse to see you, and that put you in a very good mood. You both chatted. You helped him, always by his side, passing him books and taking the opportunity to brush his hand every time you did it since it was the only way you could touch him.

You were walking happily, almost with a dazed smile on your face. With Hyunjin you didn’t have that insecurity of him finding out you were that kind of girl who does that kind of content, in fact, you fantasize about him finding out one day and not stopping fantasizing about you, you fantasize about the idea of him touching himself behind his wife’s back, with his cheeks pink, shame and guilt on his face, with his hand on his cock, stimulating himself with pictures and videos of you that with regret he has to pay for. After all, your crush on him sometimes wasn’t so pure… is that, Hyunjin had a strange way of treating you, sometimes he would treat you like a little girl, tousle your hair and look at you tenderly, sometimes he would see you so uniquely and inexplicably, as if his dark thoughts were taking over him, you fantasized about the idea of him finding out what you were doing and stop seeing you as an innocent little girl and dare to take you and fuck you… but that was a thought that went to the extreme.

Still, Hyunjin left you more confused than usual, as he said he had something for you and would go and bring it to you, leaving… but you didn’t know whether to wait for him or not, whether to bother him by calling his number or leave it at that, but you left without waiting for him, acting even weirder, you were afraid he wouldn’t show up and leave you waiting so you just left as soon as it was your time to go.

Minho followed your steps, sneaking out from his car. He knew exactly which road you used to take, a lightly used route that left him in better total control to observe you. He had absolutely everything under control until, at a certain point, another car managed to get in front of his. Now, being the one that was following you closely, Minho knew exactly who it was.

For a couple of minutes you were starting to feel nervous, a little scared, as if someone was behind you watching your every step. You didn’t want to turn around, because you were afraid that it would encourage or incite more whoever was following you, a silly idea, for someone obsessed with mystery and horror movies, but happening in real life made your hair stand on end. You reached a lonely street, rarely occupied, making you even more paranoid, why you suddenly felt you were being watched…

Then something happened that almost made you run, you saw out of the corner of your eye the car leveling out as you were walking down the sidewalk, you saw the figure of the car pull over, but you continued your walk scared, holding tightly the pepper spray and your self-defense kit in your sweater pocket; usually you used to have nice and relaxing walks, you didn’t understand why today it felt so strange.

The guy in the car accelerated further, stopping a distance ahead of you from your walk, so you could recognize the vehicle and guess perfectly who it was.

Your racing heart calmed down a bit, and you took your hand out of your pocket, but you still felt uneasy because you could have sworn it was someone else and not him, who gave you a smile as soon as you approached the car.

“Hyunjin?” you said with a smile.

He quickly rolled down his window and showed a happy countenance.

You were glad yet you felt a rush of fear and hesitation, as a car passed by at a moderately low speed, as if they wanted to watch you, you followed the car pass by with your eyes and as soon as it was out of your sight your attention returned to Hyunjin.

“What are you doing here? I told you to wait for me, I had something for you. Sorry if I was late, honey. It’s about to rain, get in the car, please.”

The nickname made you crazy in so many ways and you obeyed him instantly.

Minho parked in a strategic spot where you couldn’t observe his car, but he saw every detail of you getting into Hyunjin’s car, filling him with anger.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know if you would come back” you replied already sitting in the passenger seat.

Hyunjin stared at you.

“Of course I would come back. I just forgot the little gift and wanted to give it to you now.”

You got excited again. You were as excited as you had ever been in your life. Hyunjin bit his lip nervously and turned his body towards the back of his car to take the canvas of a painting about 50 cm. A painting of him.

“You have an original Hwang piece” he laughed adorably, “Just kidding. I did it thinking of you, since you just moved in, maybe it will look nice somewhere in your apartment.”

You held it and admired it, the small details of that red flowers in a vase enamored your sight like never before.

“Hyunjin… Thank you, it’s beautiful. I’m speechless.”

You looked into his eyes amidst the poor light of the night. You watched his face, with an immense urge to kiss him.

You would definitely put it in your apartment, every work of Hyunjin’s is so expensive or was just on display that you found it hard to believe he would give you something like this. Hyunjin could notice the sincerity of your gaze and watched tenderly as you saw his painting, even appreciating his signature in the lower right corner.

“If you need help with decorating your place, you know you can let me know.”

You nodded, biting your lip trying to hide your big smile but your eyes sparkled of their own accord and you laughed softly as you remembered how unseriously your apartment was decorated, complete with framed posters of your favorite horror movies. Then slowly the gentle rain began to fall as it became more and more intense. Hyunjin drove you to your apartment building, ruining Minho’s plans and making him uncontrollably furious, his mind thought of eliminating Hyunjin right away… but he didn’t want to hurry, he wanted to have a real reason and not act out of cruelty and perversity; although he wouldn’t tolerate waiting until something really happened between the two of you. His stomach spun at the mere thought that while he was sitting in his car, squeezing his hand against the steering wheel, something between the two of you may already be happening in Hyunjin’s car under the rain.

Minho felt a slight relief as the little meeting of you lasted 7 minutes and Hyunjin started his luxurious vehicle. Minho hurried to get to your apartment building earlier, just in case his plan could somehow be arranged: if you didn’t show up, you had left with Hyunjin, or in the worst case scenario, you showed up with Hyunjin entering your apartment. You were thinking just the second option.

Hyunjin parked the car and you both remained in a tense silence filled with so many questions and heavy breaths as you watched the rain fall. You had to wait for the rain to stop for a while. You couldn’t turn off your thoughts, so you told him:

“Do you want to come in? You can help me put up your painting, you can see the place and judge for yourself, give me ideas for decoration…”

Hyunjin looked at you, roaming your body with his eyes from your thighs to your face, he licked his lips, about to say yes, with so many ideas in his head of what can happen with a young girl as pretty as you in the comfort of your apartment, by yourselves… but he had a wife waiting for him at home.

“No… no….” he whispered almost to himself, stopping himself from doing something he was going to regret, “It’s night now, I must go home and finish some projects” he excused himself.

You pressed your lips together and he noticed the disappointment in the sweet look he adored so much about you.

“But I’ll help you another day, earlier, how about Sunday?” he said without thinking just to take that expression off your face and please you.

You smiled happily nodding. Hyunjin thought that since it was daytime maybe his mind was clearer and wouldn’t be clouded with so many overwhelming thoughts that involved messing around with you. Maybe the clarity of the day would make him more aware of what the consequences might be.

You got out of his car with a smile when the rain stopped and went back to thank him, you were excited and feeling on cloud nine. Even if nothing happens, you want to keep him close.

Minho felt his chest squeezing waiting for you to appear in the corridor of your apartment, however and with whomever, but waiting to see you, while he was hiding; his pain vanished as soon as he saw you and quickly he also walked carefree, acting completely as if he didn’t know you and went to the apartment next to yours a few far and considerate meters away. You pressed the code to your apartment without realizing that there was someone else wanting to enter the apartment to your left… but the sound of clicking keys coming from that side caught your attention, as you thought the apartment was unoccupied and you only had one neighbor to your right, Han Jisung. You turned your head with curiosity and serendipity, finding something that froze your blood for no apparent reason, but then the impact became good news. There he was, you would recognize that man anywhere, his soft, shiny, straight black hair, his perfectly sculpted side profile. The boy from the afternoon who visited the bookstore. Minho. He was your new neighbor apparently.

Minho knew exactly that you were seeing him, his peripheral vision and eyesight of a ruthless, trained, stealthy killer knew it. He feigned innocence as if he sensed a look on him and turned to see you, squinting his eyes and tilting his head as if processing whether that was really you.

A rush of happiness came over you after you looked at each other in confusion for a moment.

“Minho?”

“Hey… Y/n, right?”

You nodded, leaving your door slightly open and walking down the hallway approaching him, which he did as well, dropping his shopping bags on the floor near his door.

“You moved here?”

“Yes” he smiled, “You live there?” he pointed to your apartment, “Wow, what a coincidence, we’ll be neighbors now.”

“Yeah… I hadn’t noticed anyone moving in.”

That was because Minho literally did everything today.

“Ah, maybe because you were busy during the day and evening.”

After a few glances, and tender and awkward goodbyes, you entered your apartment, unwilling to continue your night’s work, so you took a shower and relaxed until you fell asleep, this time wishful thinking about Minho.

Minho hadn’t quite moved in next door to you, it was a fake apartment just to get close to you and have an excuse, his whole life was in the apartment across the street from yours. He kept watching you during the night from his real apartment and he in his true element, started to take out all his professional equipment worthy of the best private detective: professional cameras with excellent lenses and zoom capabilities. He couldn’t help it, you looked so pretty for him enjoying the comfort of your living room, with the window uncovered; then you went out for a moment through the small balcony to enjoy the fresh and humid weather and aroma that the rain had left in the city, making Minho get some almost artistic shots, while he thought that kissing you would be so far his greatest achievement in life.

The next morning was also planned for Minho, waiting by the emergency stairs for you to arrive as it was time for your 8 a.m. morning jog, at least on the days you didn’t work. When you heard footsteps he pretended to come downstairs also wearing sporty clothes until you met casually once again. You greeted him happily and walked down the stairs beside him, as you liked to warm up your body that way without using the elevator.

“I hadn’t seen you coming downstairs also to go jogging” you told him.

“Really? I always go out at this time, while I’m still doing my work online, between 8:30 and 9:00.”

“Ah, you’re right, since I dont work today I overslept a little and go for a run later” you laughed, “I usually do it earlier.”

And he knew all those little details about you.

“And you already had breakfast?” he observed you briefly and shyly.

You denied, humming a soft no.

“You don’t like having breakfast?”

“It’s not that, it’s just that I skipped it today and wanted to go straight for a little run.”

He smiled, “Then let’s have breakfast later. How about at my place?”

You both jogged through the park and stopped to talk as you walked; Minho felt so free being with you, almost forgetting the issue of wanting to clarify what was between you and Hyunjin. And you felt good together with Minho, you were starting to like him that you came to think that even if your insecurity didn’t allow you to go further, at least you could maintain a friendship, like with your other neighbor Jisung, whom you only thought he was cute and you used to have a tender friendly relationship.

Later when you returned to the building, you shyly told him that you would like to take a shower first and then go to his apartment. You wanted to look nice for Minho, and not sit next to him at a meal agitated and slightly sweaty. He did the same, showered and dressed up for you to start preparing breakfast. You knocked on his door where you were surprised by an even more handsome Minho if that was even possible, fresh from showering, dressed and changed, smelling good and in addition, cooking by himself.

“Wow, you just moved in and you already have everything arranged? That’s nice” you commented.

“Ah yes, I hired an interior designer and her team to get it done quickly.”

You wanted to know what he was doing for a living, the apartment and getting it in order in such a short time was a crazy idea, but you restrained yourself from asking him as you knew he would return the question and you had no idea how to evade it not even 24 hours after meeting him. Minho understood that it might make you uncomfortable, so he wouldn’t bother asking that question until he saw trust, and confidence in your eyes, when he felt you were sincere and would be willing to tell him.

You couldn’t stop thinking about him, so far you had what you considered important, Lee Minho, 29 years old and single, coming from the city, the rest was a mystery. When you were done and it was time to say goodbye you invited him to your apartment later to hang out watching movies, which he accepted with a mischievous and playful smile as he felt you were feeding his obsession and enticing him to continue.

You had never invited a boy to your apartment, because there was no boy to invite, let alone your own fixed place where you lived alone, but everything changed when you met Minho. You dressed up for him like you had never done before, with neat makeup and comfortable but cute clothes, accessories, your hair, everything, meeting him had awakened in you an unknown motivation.

There was something about him that captivated you and caught you too much, besides his cute looks and mysterious and inexplicable presence and personality. You tried to look him up on social media but everything was private and there was so little information, awakening your curiosity even more… why someone like him would be single.

Minho had stopped taking his medication two days ago and felt that only you were his new stability, meeting you and learning more about you distracted him from whatever he was dealing with, or so he thought.

He knocked on your door, after mentally preparing himself, going back to take a shower and getting ready for you… he was finally about to officially enter your life and your home. Things might be moving fast but it still felt good. It was a delightful pace to get to know each other. Minho was not the second choice because Hyunjin was never an option for you. After all, you recognized that he was married…. Minho was like your first crush after so long, one where it could truly happen and you had a vision… or at least just now. You were letting Hyunjin go and wanting to focus on Minho. Yet you were so genuinely nervous that as soon as you heard him knocking on your door you instantly regretted it, thinking the idea was silly.

Minho finally entered your apartment, analyzing and admiring every part of your space, it was better than he had imagined. You spent the last few days decorating the place and arranging every piece of furniture, with the help of your kind neighbor Jisung on occasion. For Minho it was all going well, horror movie posters all around your apartment, Halloween, Scream, Psycho, The Shinning, Child’s Play, Saw, The Grudge… he smiled, thinking you were a little nerd trapped in a hot girl’s body and in the shape of temptation. Nothing about your slightly creepy posters disturbed him until he saw a painting he recognized in seconds as a Hwang Hyunjin piece, Minho’s face changed in milliseconds, but you didn’t notice because you were walking in front of him, your back to him.

You were with your cheeks slightly red and turned to see him, you led him to the kitchen, just by the counter to prepare the snacks, but you were as anxious to even eat something. It was… like a first date.

“So… you like scary movies movies?”

You widened your eyes slightly, trying to contain your smile. It was obvious.

“Not really, I’m more into romance” you replied sarcastically.

Minho chuckled softly, seeking to look you in the eyes and in a serious tone said:

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

You couldn’t help but smile, wondering if he had done it intentionally, it still gave you a bit of a shiver.

“Okay, Mr. Ghostface” you replied, Minho laughed realizing the use of the popular phrase, “Actually… it’s Halloween, it reminds me of happy times. But I love so many, I can’t pick a favorite.”

“Your happy times involve a killer who murders on October 31st?” he joked.

“Ah, so you do know Halloween.”

Minho was more into emotional movies, but he read all the reviews just so he could match you. A mischievous half-smile formed on his face, you were both getting more and more comfortable.

“So I guess we’ll watch a scary movie then.”

“You guess right” you sounded somewhat seductive, “It’s that time of year… October.”

You moved closer to him to tease him without losing eye contact, creating tension but only to slide your hand on the counter and playfully grab one of the snacks. For a second… Minho thought you were going to make a big step between you, but you were just playing around a bit.

By their second movie you had already entered into absolute trust and were throwing comments on the air about the plot or movie facts, Minho found it absolutely adorable that you knew so much about whatever it was you were watching, plus the distance between your bodies was non-existent. Minho had to confess that despite being able to murder mercilessly to do his job, horror movies were never his thing, but he did it just to be with you. You watched The Ring, Halloween, Scream and A Nightmare on Elm Street, you’d never been so intimate with a man in that way, being yourself after all. Minho was tired of seeing death, fear and fantasy, it was something he lived in real life before he met you, so now he wanted to see you.

“Do you think you can sleep alone?” you joked.

“Sure. I think you were a little soft on me and didn’t show me the real scary movies.”

You smiled. “You’re right. I hate extreme gore, I’m more about living in nostalgia, the feeling of suspense and a little jump scare. I mean, Chucky to some extent gives a laugh but the plot had all the people in the 80’s gripped.”

“You’re so interesting…” he spoke absorbedly, letting himself go and softening his gaze.

You were both still sitting on the couch in your living room and his sudden look at you made you shy and nervous… it had been a while since anyone had looked at you like that, even Hyunjin never did because he held back so much himself but Minho had nothing to hide, other than his obvious obsession, his real job and he believed he had to hide his mental medical conditions, but he was a free man to be able to date you.

“I think I’ve had you here long enough, sorry, I didn’t even ask if you could stand to watch more than two movies” you spoke nonsensically, flustered by the closeness of his face and his soft but piercing gaze.

“I can stand anything with you. I liked it—I like being with you, a lot. I like you.”

“Minho…”

It felt good for the moment: the confession, the tension. Minho couldn’t resist and slowly leaned towards you, you could see it coming and your heart raced, letting his left-hand cup your cheek and his handsome face come close to yours. You both closed your eyes and enjoyed the caress of each other’s mouths. A tentative brush at first, his warm and soft breathing play and the delicate touch of his nose with yours to kiss in the sweetest and gentlest kiss, a kiss that touched absolutely every particle of you that even made you almost unleash tears… you had never been treated this sweet before… maybe you didn’t deserve it.

It felt like a real fairy tale, your hands gently clutching at his sweater, your stomach uneasy at the sensation, your face warm and your emotions on edge. You enjoyed every second of his lips moving against yours, but deep down you were both scared that this would trigger an inevitable series of events and that would cause you to have to reveal your truths that you were struggling to hide. You could lose each other. You questioned whether you should tell Minho what you did, and he wondered if he should stop his unhealthy tendencies.

The sweet kiss gradually became more passionate and playful. You didn’t complain, you liked it, his tongue was naughty and slick, and your tense body relaxed, letting it lay back gently, causing Minho to fall slightly on top of you. His left hand began to caress your thigh and he settled his body suddenly, lowering his kisses to your neck, pressing just your center with his bulge which you weren’t sure if it was stiff at all but you felt it grind against you subtly, teasing you to perfection.

You were becoming aroused and Minho was reveling in your scent, in his lips brushing your skin, his closeness, your breathing close to him, he was reveling uncontrollably, again feeling the dopamine and serotonin being produced in him.

You never thought that someone could make you feel like that and that you could like him to that extent, in a tender way and desire him with all your strength. You needed Minho and your soft moan when he pressed your thigh close to your needy center revealed it completely. Minho smiled playfully once more and whispered teasingly to you:

“We’re breaking one of the rules for surviving in a scary movie… no sex… or how come that guy in Scream used to say that?”

You smiled, shuddering feeling how Minho was teasing you. Your concern wasn’t that he had just confirmed you were about to have sex, but that you took the importance to the little game:

“Are we in a scary movie?”

Minho kept pressing his crotch to your center and brushing his lips on your neck until he pulled away from you a little leaving you confused. You saw his smile.

He just wanted to tease you a little.

“I think it’s time for me to go… but we have to meet again soon.”

The next day you made up an excuse for Hyunjin not to visit your house, from now on you wanted Minho, that kiss had changed everything.

But your situation was something you couldn’t hide, you spent more and more time with him, you got to know each other more, you went places together, he took you out on the town, and he came to pick you up after you finished your work at the bookstore and you both talked for hours, it was so cute and it was something hard to hide at the same time, what you actually did alone when you said goodbye to him during the night. Besides the fact that you didn’t want him to find out about somewhere else, he seemed sincere, you thought he genuinely didn’t know how you made money.

And the more time you spent together, the more Minho’s paranoia grew. He wanted to quit, he tried, to be normal and not have to study and watch your every move all the time, but he couldn’t do it. Now he had gradually developed insomnia and on lonely nights he couldn’t help but break into your house, circumvent the security system and watch you sleep comfortably; the quietness in which your chest moved as you breathed, your body relaxed, your eyes closed, even though Minho stood there expressionless, watching you caused him so much tranquility and sensations. He knew he should stop… but he couldn’t, he kept watching Hyunjin closely, Minho joined Hyunjin’s wife’s book club, to flirt with her and slightly use psychological manipulation where she would think of infidelity and that would make her go back to her husband’s arms, Minho wanted to take Hyunjin away from you in a healthy way…. because if he finds out that he somehow touched you or has been looking for a way to do so… his next move would not simply be manipulation games, his next plan was to truly use his skills and what he was made of, taking him away from you forever, Minho still took a deep breath and calmed down, letting Hyunjin be a part of your life, but only as your boss. Minho was to be the only man in your life, the only one you love.

But his mind was all over the place, handling so many things at once and thinking about you all the time. Minho thought he only calmed down when he was with you, because when he was alone the constant fear returned, the paranoia of whether his plan and deeds had been clean enough to continue, the constant fear that someone was watching him, that someone might know what he was up to, he felt it deep in his bones and was suspicious of everyone… until he got to see you and the noisy, scary feeling went away.

And all he longed to do was sleep next to you, but somehow you always ended up pushing him away, creating more fear in him. You also awakened in him a fierce sexual desire, he would touch himself watching your content every night, he would steal your underwear or a lingerie set he saw you wearing in one of your videos and end up getting completely obsessed, he would cum fantasizing on you, he would use the garment to stroke his cock… Minho was crazy about you, but none of that would compare to the day he finally got to be with you.

He would leave little clues that he was there, slightly moving certain things in your home out of position… it was fun for him to sneak around and live in the dark, it was a meticulous game that kept his mind busy.

You began to notice these small changes, finding it strange, at first you thought the clothes were getting lost in the laundry but there was no point in that since you remembered to put them away…

But you decided that enough had happened, that before Minho came more into your life and it hurt you more intensely to have him leave, you decided it was better to confess to him what you were doing, so you spoke to him that cold night at your apartment.

“So, we’ll watch Dead Silence tonight, right?” he said, sitting down on the chairs at your kitchen island.

Minho was happy, but judging by your serious expression he didn’t know what to think now.

“I have to tell you something because I want you to know it from me,” you said.

He knew exactly what you meant.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly, trying to sound sympathetic, hiding his excitement.

“I’ll tell you something and you have every right to leave if you want to, because it might not be easy…” you kept looking at him seriously and kept your distance, “I have an OnlyFans account, I make content by myself, don’t worry, I’m not seeing anyone else. If you have any questions… I’ll answer them, if you think you should distance yourself, I’ll understand.”

You were nervous and Minho enjoyed every second of your expression and your tense body, it was a guilty pleasure, plus you agitatedly confessed not dating anyone else. You saw pure confusion on Minho’s pretty face, his frown was furrowed and his lips were in an ‘o’ shape ready to ask as he softly shook his head. Of course, it was all part of his act.

“What is OnlyFans? Why are you so nervous, honey, is it something bad? Why would I want to distance myself from you?”

Your heart pounded, you were ready for any answer… but of all things you never thought he would sweet talk you and not know what it was.

“You seriously don’t know what OnlyFans is?”

“I barely know what Instagram is, honey” he laughed.

You bit your lip nervously, you wanted to be just as relaxed as he was, waiting for the news, “It’s… a page where you pay to see adult content, people create content and…. I’m part of that. It’s how I make money, Minho.”

Minho softened his face, nodding as he took it all in and crooned a light “Ohh…” Then he watched your sparkling eyes and silence formed. You didn’t want to walk away from him, but if it happened later it was going to hurt more.

He stood up from his chair and walked towards you, placing his hands on your upper arms.

“I don’t have any questions. I understand,” he spoke and you looked into his eyes, “That’s no reason to walk away.”

You looked at him incredulously and let him lightly squeeze your arm. Now it was you who was speechless.

“I like you, Y/n, I don’t have to judge you for that.”

It was clear that in his time he had judged you… but that was how he had known you and he didn’t feel it was fair to criticize you.

“Are you sure?” he nodded, loving the sight of your big pleading eyes and your plump lips that Minho resisted kissing, he nodded, “Because I like you too and I wanted you to know that….”

Minho’s heart wanted to jump out of his chest after hearing that.

“Now I know and I'm okay with that…you’re already calmer?”

You nodded, but it was still hard to digest that someone like him still liked someone like you.

That night you watched the movie but fell asleep in Minho’s arms after half of it, but it only lasted a few short minutes until you woke up. He was holding you, finally living his dream, with your face and body against his chest, his pecs were comfortable but you felt embarrassed when you woke up and realized. You released your body from his grip and smiled shyly, ready to say goodbye to him… but Minho was lost in his own thoughts.

“I have some questions now…” he said, licking his lips.

You blinked, looking at him as you tried to clear your tiredness.

“Which ones?”

“What do you usually do… what’s that content?”

Minho looked you straight in the eye, intimidating you. He knew but he wanted to hear it from you. You felt like you were in a nightmare.

“Well… sex videos, nude or provocative pictures, that’s what I do.”

“Where?”

You swallowed nervously, “My room.”

“The only thing I don’t agree with is that strangers have seen your room and naked body before me” he blurted out, serious.

You looked at him. You didn’t expect that… but his serious expression and dark eyes pleased you. Minho couldn't help fantasizing about you with your body on top of his. At first, it was tender, but then something awoke in him. You smiled. You desired and wanted Minho like you had never wanted someone before. If he wanted it now, you were more than willing, and you were sure you would enjoy it.

“Well… you have something better,” you said, moving closer to him, cutting an absolute distance. “You can touch me all you want, the rest… they can only wish for it.”

And to think that Minho was exactly that, just like the rest, that he could only wish to have you, but his obsessive plan and behavior were paying off as you finally positioned yourself on his lap, seductively, with your knees on the side of his thighs, you played with his sweater and thought about how much you loved his big, worked arms, but it was rare that you saw him like that, as all the time he was so well covered, wearing a nice sweater, making him look adorably hot.

Those were the few times you saw his body…like when you were out and he was taking off his jacket and revealing his arms.

You fantasized about Minho’s body, his thighs were strong and thick, and his masculine build felt so good under your body, he alone made you feel uncontrollably aroused in seconds. Despite being a sex worker, you felt lonely, you only did it for money but everything was absolutely yourself using your body, and now… you couldn’t wait for Minho to use it.

You leaned towards him to take his lips, Minho was surprised by the speed of the situation he hesitated as he gently pulled his neck back but instantly kissed you back with pleasure. His hands roamed your body and you both delighted in the taste and feel of each other’s lips while the movie was still playing, the sound accompanied you and the light from it reflected brightly on you, you lasted like this for a while, kissing until you heated your soul and spirit, dropping your center into his bulge and rubbing you gently, almost causing a moan to escape your lips as you felt how big and hard he was. When you were both breathless and tentatively separated still giving each other little kisses, you suggested:

“Do you want to know my room? There’s nothing special about it, but since you want to know…”

You started to say playfully but were interrupted by Minho’s huge smile plastered on his face and him getting up from the couch with you in his arms.

Minho walked up to your room without you giving him any instructions as to where it was, and for a second, you questioned if you had told him before. His lips on you interrupted all thoughts. He admired the place and breathed in deeply the sweet essence of it—white walls, more posters—it was the place from which he had fallen for you since that night. You turned on the dim lamp light.

You didn’t say a word and let Minho act amidst the sharp breaths and piercing, lascivious glances. He sat you on the bed and leaned his body to kiss you while his hands caressed your thighs. You were so aroused, the caresses of his soft hands and his dominant, masculine presence on top of you weakened you in desire, his movements were smooth and intense that you could feel the slight desperation in him, squeezing your thighs as he pressed his lips tightly on you, as if he wanted to devour you, as if this was all something he had been waiting so long to do and was enjoying every detail of the process.

Minho once again ever since he met you, he felt like a normal man, capable of having his sexual desires, capable of finally being able to touch the woman he was so eagerly longing for. He lowered his lips to your neck and it took him great willpower not to bite your skin, he wanted to kiss you, caress you and make you feel good but at the same time he felt he had to be on your skin, he wanted to leave you the most satisfied you have ever been in your entire life, for sex to be more than sex, he wanted to truly unite with you, in his mind, his intense thoughts worked best.

Your clothes suddenly made him desperate, believing they were interrupting something very intimate between you and with a big smile and in a hurried act, Minho took off your blouse, causing his erect hard cock to throb painfully in his pants, he was so ecstatic just to have you all to himself and the mere sight of you, no silly cameras or recording in between, he was so excited to feel like the luckiest one to be the one enjoying the process of undressing you and being able to pleasure you.

You bit your lip as you hadn't quite appreciated how Minho was incredibly hot how he looked right now, it was true that the constant thought of having sex with him kept recurring in your mind but it was something you let go of and now you were hugely immersed in him, every inch of your body throbbing and messed up with just the beginning of caresses and foreplay, you had never wanted someone as much as you felt now, as if you were back to being an innocent and hormonal sweet girl again. You were a little embarrassed, if you had known you were going to have sex with Minho tonight, you would have worn nicer underwear, you were wearing your black bra and your comfy Hello Kitty little pink cotton panties with the detail of a little bow on the top seam in front.

Your new lover appreciated you for a moment to return his lips to your bare skin, pressing kisses down your chest, moving lower and lower and leaving you breathless, Minho nimbly unfastened your bra and became engrossed with the mere sight of your juicy breasts exposed, the delicacy of your tender nipple decorating your organ. He bit his lip and did not hesitate to feel and squeeze your breasts with his hands, moaning softly as he finally felt the softness of them, the firmness of your erect nipples pressed against the palm of his hand and dark fantasies were taking over Minho, remembering all those nights when he masturbated and cummed to exhaustion drooling over your breasts, for your femininity and naked body, he could pull out his cock and masturbate so he could cum on your breasts and pretty face as he so much desired, all his pearly white liquid erotically adorning your beautiful body, but he believed it would be pointless to self-pleasure himself just now when he had you when he was finally touching you and felt the most intense pleasure in pleasuring you too.

You on your part were feeling your panties so wet, you were so excited because it was the first time in a long time that you were with someone, that you were satisfying yourself sexually with someone else, for despite a generalized thought that sex workers must have such an active and turned on sex life, yours was not like that, it was so lonely, you were relatively popular among the community and other creators invited you to their kind of content. Still, you refused all the time, nothing was exciting with fucking strangers, and Minho for you was that cute guy who agreed to watch horror movies with you and with whom you longed for a relationship.

You didn’t hold out long enough and you let yourself be carried away by the pleasure Minho was giving you and slowly laid your body down, you had so many thoughts like the fact that Lee Minho truly was a man, because from the last times you had been intimate after confessing to the guys that you did adult content they went crazy and thought they could release any kind of fantasy with you, they used you for their own pleasure without even thinking about yours, they played dominant and even though you adored being ordered around in sex… they did it in such a different way, they ended up ordering you around for their own pleasure… but Minho… god, you felt so different with Minho, it was obvious he was also looking to satisfy himself with you but you could tell he was prioritizing you; most men would just drop their pants, rudely looking for easy access to you and have their 8 minute fun, or 5 if they ordered you to blow them off and their pathetic horny bodies wouldn’t allow them more time.

“Fuck, baby, they’re perfect—you’re perfect” he gasped, feeling your breasts, playing and pinching your nipple.

You heard—read that all the time, but coming from Minho you felt it was true. Minho was there, looking to take advantage of touching every inch of any sensitive spot of yours, you couldn’t even notice his intentions for getting naked, but you also longed to see his naked body. He delighted in every moan that came out of you after he tried a little hard on your nipples.

Before you could make a playful move with Minho’s sweater so he could take it off, Minho’s mouth on your breast unhinged you in seconds. He ran his tongue delicately in circular motions over your nipple moistening it and making it more sensitive, sucking and biting your skin, completely reveling himself in one and doing the same process on your other breast as his hand went back to gently mistreating your other sensitive organ. You took the opportunity to touch his hair, it was so soft and fell gracefully over his handsome face, he looked up, making a little eye contact as his naughty mouth played with you.

His dirty and erotic kisses and caresses began to move down your body, caressing your abdomen, Minho adored the softness of it, finely running his fingertips across your skin and brushing the tip of his straight nose, so delicately as if it was the most fragile thing about you, causing you to uncontrollably pleasure and gasp in satisfaction as you felt and thought that he was getting closer and closer to your sensitive center.

You stirred your legs to feel your wetness rubbing up to your folds, getting more and more excited at the thought of being touched there. Minho finally took off your skirt, smiling at the sight of your girlish panties, he must have known, you were still younger than him after all, the idea went to his head, a cute and cuddly young girl just for him.

“Hello Kitty” he said amused, running the back of his finger along your slick, making you sigh, “You’re so sweet, honey, you’re the sweetest.”

You looked at him with mock displeasure but your face changed in seconds as you felt his fingers press against your clit. Minho chuckled softly.

“Look at the little kitty, is a mess, you left her so wet, baby…” he said again playfully, running two of his fingers on your slick.

His pun was fun. It was true, you were so wet, so aroused almost sweating just in sexual desire, the thin fabric of your panties was soaked and Minho enjoyed seeing you so needy for him. He admired your body and position, lying back with your heavy breathing, eyes shining, breasts exposed, foreplayed nipples and your sweet Hello Kitty panties attached to your folds by your wetness. Minho became even more aroused.

“You are so beautiful, my dear and I’m not just saying that because you are like this, naked in front of me” he gently placed his body over you and teased you with his hand on your clit and his hot breath between your neck and ear, he whispered, “You are truly beautiful. I adore you.”

Your cheeks grew flushed hot. The low tone in his voice, his words and him caressing you were the whole damn package of how to have you attracted in seconds.

He brought his face close to yours again, almost looking for a kiss but he was just teasing you. You were speechless, his big dark eyes were so enigmatic. It was your best sexual encounter so far, there was so much chemistry and connection between you.

“Minho” you finally said, biting your lip nervously, “I want to see you naked too.”

He raised an eyebrow and smiled amused.

“Whatever the princess asks.”

He removed himself on top of you, standing on the floor with his knees touching the edge of your bed. You sat on the bed quickly to get a closer view of him undressing. You bit your lip and Minho proceeded to undress, removing his sweater, tousling his pretty black hair a bit and relieving his warm masculine scent. You admired his bare chest, his broad shoulders, worked and smoothly muscled arms where you could see his veins running down to his attractive hands, his shapely pecs and his smooth but firm worked-up abdomen. You fell more and more for Minho.

His hands reached the button of his jeans and you couldn’t resist not touching him, you finely ran your fingers over a scar he had near his navel and looked him in the eyes, almost wanting to ask just with your eyes —a scar he got because he was stabbed— and you put your hands over his and he let you do it right away. You caressed a bit of his big bulge on top of the denim and now you fixed your eyes there, you pulled it down desperately to see also the bulge in his underwear to then subtly lick your lips and finally pull his boxers down to see his erection, you almost sighed thinking why he looked so good, absolutely everything about Minho looked good, his smooth pubic skin all the way to the incredible sight of his big veiny cock which you held and played with, your thumb caressing his glans glistening in his precum, feeling his erect throbbing organ engorged in sex, you thought he had the best cock you had ever seen, even better than the ones that make money on that, Minho was like a hidden diamond, you still didn’t believe he could be single looking like that.

“Fuck, baby” he moaned enjoying your hands on his cock, but then gently removed them, “It feels so good but it's your turn, sweetheart, get comfortable I want to touch you and make you feel, good, okay?”

You nodded submissively and slid backwards until you reached your pillows. Minho finished removing his clothes completely and moved lustfully closer to you, pulled off your panties and approached your wet center with a smug smile. He dropped his body to the bed, his abdomen and hard cock pressed against it to position himself between your legs, he entwined your thighs in his strong arms and his lips went straight to your pubic skin to deposit soft kisses until he looked into your eyes and took the opportunity to view your body from that angle, with his hot, heaving breath hitting your core, then he looked at your glistening pussy just before he dipped his pretty face into you. He caught your clit making you moan and shiver, you needed it already and it was feeling so good.

Minho caressed your body while his mouth did all the dirty delicious work all over your pussy, his hands ran over your thighs, your abdomen, gently squeezed your breasts and so on as he sucked your clit and ran his tongue over your labia and got lost in your taste and how satisfying it was having you moaning. You stroked his hair again and his tongue entwined between your pussy lips and when he felt you desperate and highly aroused almost at your peak, he brought his hands to your pussy, sliding them all over your slick and then penetrating your lubricated entrance in a rhythm that only teased you.

You were so close to your first orgasm, the rhythm of his fingers in you was slow and enticing that it was making you tremble, and the tension in your stomach ached for release. He played with your clit once more as his fingers filled you and you felt a slight vibration in your sensitive spot, Minho moaned with a vein in his neck visible that his body did not resist and he cum just like that, just by touching you.

He pulled slightly away from you and looked admiringly at your aroused body.

“You like that, huh, baby?” his voice made you shudder, “Or do you like it rough?”

His fingers began to move roughly in you while with his other hand he played with the rest of your pussy slowly, you whimpered arching your back, you were being so stimulated, the difference of rhythms in you hastened your orgasm.

“Yes, yes, Minho, ple—”

You couldn’t even speak, your entrance felt full and used and your whole pussy was treated to perfection that your body reached its maximum release, collapsing in your orgasm.

You tried to catch your breath, but Minho didn’t end there, he got hard again and savored every part of your orgasm by shamelessly swiping his warm, wide tongue, making you enjoy and aroused again this time slightly calmer, humming soft “Mmm”, but the pace of things escalated as you felt his tongue to thrust through your insides and you felt stimulated again.

“Fuck, Minho, let-let me touch you now” you moaned.

You wanted to touch and please him as much as he did you and you obviously wanted to feel him too.

“Okay” he replied softly with an adorable smile that made him show his teeth.

You noticed semen on your sheets and on Minho’s cock and bit your lip. He licked his lips and wiped his mouth to gently position himself on top of you and rub his hard erection on your labia. You blubbered, looking down at the action and returning your gaze to his piercing eyes. You whimpered. And you were happy to be able to make as much noise as you wanted if he dared to fuck you with his well-endowed cock, you had no neighbors, the one in 221 was on a business trip and you were having a very hot encounter with your other neighbor.

“You know what… from now on I can help you with whatever you need, from the smallest thing, you can tell me” Minho spoke softly as he stroked your hair, “Even if it’s that you need help in your videos or when you don’t want to feel alone.”

You were both satisfied, cuddling after having the hottest and dirtiest sex, while tenderly wearing his sweater.

You caught his comment as tender as you watched his bare chest rise and fall from his quiet breathing as you had your cheek resting on it, but the tender moment faded as you realized the intent of his comment… did he mean he wanted to be a part of your videos? Your sex videos.

That’s exactly what he meant. You didn’t think twice.

Filming time with Minho was one of your favorite moments. Another one of your favorite moments was when you spent some nice quality time with him and he would hold you and kiss you tenderly while looking at you with purity…. but your little alone time recording was something that nothing could compare to, it was your little moment of fun, your little twisted and kinky game that started with nervous laughter and developed little by little to show a taste of Lee Minho’s nature, he being the mastermind behind the sex tapes that included him developing an almost in him dominant character, the one he liked to treat you with during sex.

Your idea was not to show Minho’s face, you both agreed on that and first you would start with something so common and typical to know people’s response to the appearance of a new character to your videos, so your first sexual activity recorded and uploaded was a video of a popular and classic blowjob you had done to Minho.

You joked, saying that people loved oral sex videos with the man receiving and, by people you meant mostly horny men who would pay money to see you, so it was a win-win, you would blow Minho for pleasure because you liked doing it, he would enjoy it and you would get money for it.

And your first kind of recorded encounter was in your room, Minho sitting on the edge of your bed and first you started to get aroused without cameras recording, for Minho it was not hard to get an erection, you were wearing a nice lingerie so revealing that it didn’t leave much to the imagination, all your mons pubis and nipples were transparent in the thin pastel pink lace fabric, you had done your makeup and hair beautifully so you just laid on top of him, who was only wearing his underwear, you started kissing passionately, touching each other’s body and you grinding his cock with your core, when both of you were already panting but especially Minho and when you felt his real firmness in him, it was time for the show.

You got off on top of him, Minho had to take off his underwear and leave them absolutely out of the shot, you had two angles to film, one directly that Minho will hold and another angle that you had set up to look sideways and show your kneeling body and Minho’s lower body.

You were nervous and excited, you had done it before but it had not been filmed, you fixed your hair, put lip gloss back on and took a last look at your makeup and returned your view to Minho completely naked with his big erect cock, nervously taking the cell phone, it was weird, but hot. You started recording from the side angle and approached him. You stood on your tiptoes to give him one last kiss before getting completely on your knees in front of his erection. Minho bit his lip and sighed in a half-hearted, excited sigh.

A video of you sucking his cock would live forever on the internet… and he couldn’t be happier about it. It was dirty and vicious, Minho adored it.

“I want you to make as much noise as you want, be yourself and enjoy it, don’t be completely silent like the boring man in porn videos looking like a zombie, please. Besides… some women love men moaning and yours sound so good though.”

Minho smiled adorably showing his front teeth and relaxing his body.

“Got it” he replied.

You nodded your head giving him the signal to start filming, he adjusted the cell phone holding it with his right hand and as soon as it recorded, he gave you a tender signal with his thumb of his left hand. You smiled looking into his eyes and finally took his cock between your hands to start jerking him off, playing with his cock and stroking his tip while looking innocently at the camera from time to time. Minho bit his lip hard, trying not to gasp in just the first few seconds of the video.

You looked up, but instead of seeing the camera, you saw Minho’s body and face, weakening you and making your pussy explode in tingles and twinges of excitement, he made you so crazy and needy. Minho looked so good like that, naked, watching you from above with his dominating presence, biting his lip, his veiny hands holding your pink cell phone and hyper-feminine decorated. Your eyes sparkled at the sight of him and that was something the camera managed to capture.

You began licking his cock, playing with his balls, tentatively inserting his tip into your mouth and licking it to savor every sensation of his soft, sensitive glans with his precum. Minho was doing his best to keep his hand steady but he gave in little by little and moaned as you began to thrust his length into your cavity, he grabbed your hair, his veiny manly hand drove crazy more than one who watched your video and Minho captured to perfection the messy shot of his thick length entering your mouth.

What followed were long, pleasurable minutes of the most angelic blowjob Minho ever had; it was your makeup smearing a bit, your tears coming out, your face begging for mercy and drooling as you enjoyed every moment, and a breathless Minho completely aroused, fucking your mouth and tentatively reaching down your throat to climax inside your cavity, but the video didn’t stop there. Minho rubbed your lips and pretty face with his glans gently coated in his semen and in a desperate act he began to masturbate, overstimulating himself again; you understood and helped him to bring him to his second orgasm, this time a cumshot straight to your cheek, you smiled happily.

With the video saved, Minho helped you wipe the cum off your face with a tender smile and giggles, then kissed passionately again, turned your body and fucked your wet, throbbing pussy hard as you held on to your bathroom sink, while he held on to your hips and played with your breasts with you enjoying being fucked in front of the mirror.

The video of you blowing Minho was a hit and as expected, people wanted more of the mysterious man with the nice cock, sexy hands and cute moans.

So you and Minho had some fun giving them exactly what they wanted.

He had the idea of dominating you in bed and having his voice make an appearance, recording your ass being pounded until it was red and sore, turning Minho on too much with your throbbing pain and whimpers. He would treat your entrance hard, penetrating it harshly and overstimulating you bringing you to orgasm after orgasm as his arm fell heavily on your back limiting your movement. Minho babbled little derogatory nicknames at you, whispering, “You like that, huh, little slut?”, treating you rough. You didn’t know where that idea came from, maybe a little fantasy he had, but it pleased you so much, you were a mess, tears in your eyes, your body agitated, pussy throbbing and soaking wet without stopping being used by Minho even for a second.

Then he got the idea to tape you having a 69 which aroused every one of your senses, your pussy was already stimulated but you couldn’t stop, it was like you were ovulating the whole damn time you were with him. You sat on his face and rode him, his mouth pleasuring you and his sharp nose pressing exquisitely into your core.

It was your little adventure play that just kept getting better and better.

Then it was time for your livestream, you had been missing it since you met Minho… but you didn’t want to do it alone this time and having sex with him live would be risky, so he ordered you to do everything just like you used to do it, only this time he would be behind the camera, giving you little instructions, watching you pleasuring yourself.

You looked at Minho amused, the idea that he could just stand there watching you was too much of a turn-on for you. You started to transmit, as usual, wearing tender and provocative lingerie that when you used to be so excited you ended up taking it off completely. You bit your lip, spreading your legs, and placed the vibrator on your clit, instantly moaning more excited with the idea that Minho was watching you sitting behind the led ring light.

His cock throbbed, and he analyzed every part of you, bringing back memories of when he did it that night from his window. Your panties were already a mess, you were overstimulating yourself. You pulled the fabric of your panties away from your folds and inserted two fingers inside you, glancing at Minho from time to time.

He bit his lip but kept a serious and penetrating gaze, studying every part of you.

“Take the other toy and ride it, ride it until you cum.”

Minho suddenly ordered you and his look and voice made you shudder. You took with some embarrassment the realistically shaped dildo and did exactly as he instructed, sliding it inside you still with your panties on and starting to ride it so that you could appreciate the dirty act of the toy filling your insides; you whimpered in pleasure, you were leaving a mess on your sheet and you looked with an expression of joy at Minho, missing him, wishing it was his the cock you were riding and a stupid toy.

Minho licked his lips at the sight… there was something about you, you were particularly more aroused and needy than the last time he saw you do the livestream.

“Cum, princess, do it faster, make yourself cum.”

His voice made your nipples erect and you kept sliding up and down on the stiff toy that filled your walls and whimpered as you looked back at Minho and fell into a roaring orgasm, for the first time you had forgotten the glamour of cumming, the orgasm had been so real and more so looking into Minho’s eyes, hearing his voice and fantasizing, usually you would try to be all pretty girl, moaning cute and cumming prettily, showing off your collection of your toys glistening in your fluids but now all you could think about was Minho and how every inch of you was madly aroused.

Your makeup was starting to get ruined, your hair was slightly tousled, and every emotion of yours was feeling so real that your live was being a hit but all you wanted was for Minho to finish it once and for all and fuck you.

“Now show everyone your beautiful pussy, sweetie” he ordered you and you did, pulling aside the fabric of your panties and showing your swollen and wet pussy folds, “Shit, you are the most beautiful doll, sweetie. Spread your folds apart, show them what’s mine.”

You blushed following his orders and watched as he lowered the cell phone further and gave it a little zoom to bring your pussy more into focus. Minho moved closer to you, his face not coming out in the shot and took your vibrator and dildo and continued your pleasure and light torture by stimulating you. He penetrated you quickly and roughly with the dildo while pressing the head of the vibrator into your clit making you frantic.

“It’s mine, honey?” he said dominantly, watching your body collapse in pleasure, nothing could take away his smug smile, for having you at his disposal and for being the one who was touching you while thousands of idiots were just fantasizing behind a screen.

“Y-yes, yes. Fuuck, Mi-, I need you. Please” you whimpered in desperation.

“Beg for more, tell me how much you want it.”

You swallowed saliva and took a big gasping breath on the verge of collapse. Still, all you could think about was him, the feel of his body on top of yours, pushing against your body, and the wet, hot, pleasurable sensation of his pumping, real sex inside you that missed every inch and vein of him.

“Please, please, please, I need you, fuck me…. Lee.”

You didn’t even know whether to call him Minho as it was risky and Lee was still a common first name for other people. He smiled, smug and satisfied, pulling the dildo out of you and turning off the vibrator, making you moan.

“The live is over.”

Minho ended the live quickly with no problem, took off his pants and boxers and then proceeded to yank your panties off in a tug to approach you and finally take you, gently inserting his big, erect cock into you and began frantically pounding your pussy in a hard, body smashing rhythm. He caressed your breasts with his hands and then brought his right hand up to your neck subtly cutting off your breath. You felt so pathetically aroused, you cum twice on his cock penetrating your insides and tickling all the way to your cervix and after your second intense orgasm, Minho finally came to his orgasm too, happily filling every drop of his cum inside you. Minho was a fan of your quivering, used pussy gently releasing his cum so he once again enjoyed the show that left you tired and full.

You were just his in so many ways.

After that you asked him if he could treat you the same without cameras around to which he was very happy with your request.

Minho had to return to his own little hell. His own job. He had a new mission to take care of so he would be out of town for days and he didn‘t want to leave you but he had to. Everything was going so well with him that you missed him, you wanted to invite him on a little trip together with the money earned and you fantasized again about filming the act, it was so dirty and risky, you loved the adrenaline and pleasure Minho made you feel.

When you asked Minho what his job was he answered somewhat coldly and curtly that he was a private detective and quickly changed the subject, you felt a shiver but you understood perfectly, that he didn’t want to talk about it.

While Minho left, your other neighbor Han Jisung had arrived from a long business trip and upon meeting you in the hallway invited you into his apartment which you accepted since you were supposed to be friends but it was more than obvious that Jisung wanted you a little more than just for that.

Jisung untied his tie, tossing it onto his couch.

“I’m exhausted, do you want something to drink?” he expressed.

You shook your head and once you were inside you questioned what you were doing there.

“Mmm I have to go” you said suddenly.

Jisung laughed.

“You just walked in, beautiful. Everything okay?”

You nodded, “I forgot I was kind of busy with something…”

He grimaced, “Too bad for me, I was hoping we could talk a little, the trip was long and tiring.”

You felt bad, you didn’t see Jisung with other eyes than friendship, you recognized that he was handsome and maybe the most wanted bachelor, young and billionaire… but you didn’t try anything because the idea of him dating someone like you was absurd and now you had Minho and he was everything you were looking for, someone you can have a relationship with and be so sexually open with each other, someone who would love you for who you were, you wanted to feel loved despite your little mistakes.

“It’s okay, I can stay for a while.”

He smiled.

“What’s up? What movie do you want to watch today? I’ll order some dinner, do you want anything?”

After a while you were both eating dinner, in absolute confidence, feeling comfortable with each other.

“Someone moved into 225,” you said.

“Mm… who?”

“Lee Minho, he’s cute, we’re dating.”

Jisung was about to joke with you but the name seemed familiar.

“What’s his name?”

“Lee Minho. He lives alone.”

“Lee Minho…?” Jisung visualized his face, but thought it was coincidence, he still asked, “A young man with black hair and big eyes? Do you have a picture of him?”

“Do you know him?”

His poor description sounded so much like Minho that you showed him a picture, surprising Jisung.

“Wow, that’s weird, he lives in the building across the street, not this one… Well, maybe he just moved in. He’s a tough and lonely guy, he’s kind of scary, he’s a fucking hitman or so my dad’s friends say.”

You blinked in puzzlement at the sudden information.

“What?”

“Yeah, I don’t know too much about him just that he lived across the street and his job is kind of heavy.”

That left you thinking too much and you took the opportunity to find out on your own, but you couldn’t do too much since you couldn’t get to the apartment and they flatly refused to give you information about him, so you returned somewhat confused back to your building, you knew exactly Minho’s entry code from the apartment next to yours since you pretended not to see him every time he did but you got to memorize it… entering was so wrong but you couldn’t help it and you did it, you also had that curiosity in you and you remembered even the smallest details, like Minho told you that he didn’t installed security cameras inside his apartment yet and that he would do it coming back from his business trip, so if he was telling the truth, nobody knew you were sneaking in there in the dark.

You entered his room, with the feeling of curiosity in your chest, you felt that Minho knew everything about you, but you knew little about him. You knew his name, his age, you half knew his job… you knew he was a good man, cute and attentive but why you still felt deep in you the question of who is Lee Minho.

His room was just as you remembered it, you weren't looking for anything specific but you had an unsettling feeling of wanting to find something but you were already beginning to feel that you were effectively trespassing on Minho’s property so you were about to leave, but the drawer in the cabinet to the side on his bed half open caught your attention, everything looked in order but that precise piece of furniture made the tidy room look as if Minho had been in a hurry and left that little detail, so you approached it and found inside what looked like a pink book, a specific shade of pastel pink which is your favorite color, you took it innocently thinking that maybe it could be a gift for you and you could see immediately that it was a photo album; you were disconcerted for a second, the feeling of uneasiness returned to you and impatiently opened the book, you could not see well so you illuminated it with the flashlight of your cell phone and as soon as you saw it you were perplexed and with the frightening sensation of an agonizing cold taking hold of your body.

Your eyes moved in terror and surprise… they were pictures of you sleeping… why? Why would Minho do such a thing? Why are they pictures of you from your room? What kind of psycho was he?

Your heart skipped a beat and you felt fear and disappointment as you immediately thought that Minho was not the kind of guy you thought he was and that he was obviously a weirdo. The angles of the pictures made you shiver, you weren’t such a heavy sleeper that you didn’t realize someone was watching you but just the thought that he used to come into your house at night… it was something you never thought would happen. You were paralyzed, thinking whether to take the album and leave, confront Minho, or leave it there… now you were even more curious about what else he might be hiding.

You slowly stepped back in fear and shock, you had no idea who Minho really was, your mind was filled with thoughts but suddenly you felt your back collide with a rigid body that you knew exactly whose body it was.

You turned your body and a mysterious gust of a cold breath of wind blew through your body. You met Minho with a serious look and expression, with a face so serious that you had never seen on him before. You got more scared, thinking how the hell he had gotten there if he didn’t even make the slightest noise, you were so scared, you wanted so many answers, in your little madness you thought he might even be a ghost.

But Lee Minho was so real, a human with tendencies different from the established, but he was still normal or at least that’s what he tried to convince himself… suddenly you felt petrified before his presence, anything could happen right there and now you felt helpless.

But of one thing Minho was sure, that his heart broke when he saw that peculiar look on your face when you saw him. And he who only expected you to look at him with love all the time. You looked at him with terror and panic, a petrifying look that only those movies you used to watch with him could reflect in the real world. Why? What was really happening?

𐙚TAGLIST: @rylea08 @hann1bee @iovecb97 @armystay89 @lolareadsimagines @lailac13 @ayyonoona @do-you-remember-summer-127 @wildtokay @korthbum @oddracha @hyune-sssne @velvetmoonlght @shadowhunterathene @compersian @binniesbabe @strayywayy @isabel-018 @paborachaslvt @tirena1

[cranberryjuice-posts]

please do clarisse la rue x aphrodite reader who’s gorgeous and glowing and short like a ball of sunshine

- opposites attract -

Pairings - Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Aphrodite! Reader

An - ive gotta rewrite by Abby series bc it’s not going the way I want it 😭 I wasn’t really sure exactly what to write so I hope this is good 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

Everyone at camphalf blood knew who you were. Not for negative reasons however. Being a daughter of Aphrodite not only boosted your social status but it was also your actions.

The first to volunteer to help when the infirmary was low on staff, ready to take on any chore from helping run the camp store to labor jobs that required you to get dirty. Even when the saytrs felt as though they were being ignored by the demigods you helped give them their voice.

So when you of all people started dating clarisse the most intimidating person at camp it was a bit of a culture shock. Though with you sweet and kind nature you seemingly took the most aggressive cabin and somehow made them slightly calmer.

Though when people tried to approach clarisse about you her former aggressiveness would come back. Most things that involved you got her heated. The recent endeavor being you both Separated for the weeks capture the flag game.

“No you’re on my team it’s not for discussion” clarisse spoke as if she knew it was fact, her arms crossed and her armor on you couldn’t help but fall back in love with her.

“But it is for discussion because I’m not” you chuckled softly, a gentle smile crossing your features. “I’ll be fine Claire I’m not a child”

“I’m aware of that but what if someone on my team hurts you? Or what if you get hurt by one of our traps I don’t like not being able to protect you” she placed her hands on her hips trying to open her stance to you.

“Aww” you gave a playful frown tucking a loose curl behind her ear. Placing both hands on her cheeks you gave them a small squeeze. “I’m ok, besides I have charmspeak remember I know how to handle myself”

Her shifting weight and the look of annoyance on her face all showed she did care about you deep down, and as much as people wanted to Deny it clarisse was yours just as much as you were hers. “I’ll see you after the game pretty” stepping on your tippy toes you gave her a kiss.

Turning to start walking away clarisse began yelling instructions to you. “Wait! Make sure your breast plate is tight— oh! And be sure to wear a helmet an—-“

“I got it clarisse!” You laughed back at her, giving her a final wave.

——-

The games had already began with you being in charge of reclaiming the flag with Luke and his team.

Stepping through the forest you carefully looked around worried that maybe someone would jump out. Which like it was a movie happened. Red team kids running out with blades swinging. Blue team defending themselves and you mentally scolding yourself for not wearing enough armor.

Before you even realized it you had a deep cut in your calf. Landing on the ground with a cry of pain you looked back instantly having to dodge the falling camper.

“You good!” Luke shouted helping you up, limping some you found your balance breathlessly nodding. The red team currently had either been knocked to the ground or retreated in fear.

“The flags up ahead.. behind Zeus’s fist if I’m correct” you took a stance against a tree, using it as support. “I’m gonna stay here”

“You’re sure you’re fine” he asked cautiously. Even though luke knew clarisse couldn’t touch him he still didn’t want to hear her mouth afterwards.

You nodded giving him a semi confident look. “Just go” You chuckled sending him off.

Though it was quiet for a while you heard a crying like sound. Confused you pushed off the tree and started limping towards the noise. Through the trees and down to the creek you saw a hurt hell hound.

Most times you would of killed a monster without hesitation but this time… this time she wasn’t a monster. It seemed crazy but this hell hound almost seemed domesticated.

Slowly walking towards her You knelt down beside the dog. At first she bared her teeth at you acting as though you wanted to hurt her, but once she realized you meant no harm she pressed her snout against you.

Once gaining her trust you began to examine her leg. Realizing it was broken you made the conscious decision to quickly leave to grab some sticks for a splint. Petting the hound softly you got up limping away some.

The ground was filled with a multitude of twigs though finding your two heafty pieces of wood was easy. The sound of the conch and a campers scream filled your ears, nearly running back to the creek you saw about all of the kids from the two teams with clarisse and Luke in the creek, their weapons aimed at the hound that looked as tough she was going to attack.

“Stop! Oh my gods stop!” You screamed running in-front of her causing clarisse to dodge to the side and roll fully into the creek.

“Move!” She shouted. The other campers looking equally confused as you shouted a no back at her. “Are You insane?! Don’t go near it” clarisse scrambled out the water to quickly grab your arm.

You turned around trying to pull free only to be unsuccessful. The tension around you made you want to cry but right now isn’t the time. “I need you to trust me… please” you practically begged.

She looked you up and down with a look of worry before gently letting you go. Without another thought you knelt down to the dog, ripping your shirt in half exposing your stomach and began wrapping the hounds broken hind.

The dog was huge, given that she was a monster she was bigger than even a Doberman and beefier than a pit but that didn’t mean she was aggressive.

A few of the other councilors walked down to the water with Chiron standing on a rock near by. “She’s harmless!” You shouted trying to get the defensive campers to become calm. “See! If she wanted to hurt anyone she would of!”

Your urgency only convinced maybe a handful of kids. “It’s a monster.” Clarisse scoffed.

“Yet she didn’t try to bite me when I put her leg into a splint” You corrected. The hound nudged her head into your leg in a comforting way, trying to get your hand to begin to pet her.

Annabeth took a step forward, extending a hand the hound sniffed her before licking up her arm. “Seems harmless to me” the wise girl shrugged.

Chiron made his way down looking across the water and holding a hand up signaling for every camper to relax. “This game is dismissed. Grover summon the Cloven council, get them to set up a meeting so we can figure out what to do for the hound, and for you.. keep her with you until we have a plan”

———

The following week camp halfblood had a new pet. A hellhound you named Rosie.

Sitting with clarisse by the lake letting the water run over your legs from the docs. I’m the distance you saw Rosie swimming around enjoying playing with the water naiads.

“How did you know she wasn’t ruthless” clarisse asked turning her head to look at you.

“I guess the same way I knew you weren’t as mean as everyone assumes. It’s your aura, Rosie’s was soft and hurt begging for any form of kindness” you turned looking at her. The sun light casted across clarisses features illuminating her eyes and skin. “Your so beautiful” you smiled leaning over and softly kissing her

Clarisse smiled wide returning the kiss. She pulled away only keeping her hand on the side of your face. “What did I do to deserve someone like you”

You shrugged your shoulders happily. “Working out helped”

She pulled away with a playful attitude. Causing you to laugh and reach out to her once more.

[ben-talks-art]

Why is Desscaras so likable? 🤔

So something has been on my mind for a while now...

There's this series called "Ichi the Witch" that has been growing in popularity lately and among the cast of characters there's Desscaras, a powerful mage who's considered like a superstar among the witches for how good she is at her job, and Desscaras herself is aware of that and always takes as many chances as she can to be smug about it...

But for some reason it never feels annoying when she does it, and I'm very intrigued as to why that is.

Desscaras is basically a fusion of Bulma and Piccolo from Dragon Ball.

Much like Bulma, she's a young and bratty genius who gets stuck with this wild young boy and now has to work with him while going on crazy adventures while doing her best to keep him in check.

But she's also like Piccolo in the sense that she can also be very wise, observant, and calm when the situation calls for it and capable of taking advantage of what she knows and what she can do to come up with different solutions for different problems.

I kept wondering why her smug attitude never annoyed me like it usually tends to when it comes to other "full-of-themselves" types of characters.

Characters like Vegetta or Bakugou who because they're so strong, let it get to their heads and often end up behaving like total jerks in the earlier parts of their story arcs.

I feel like the reason it never bothered me with Desscaras is because, unlike these two, you never get a sense she's trying to prove something.

With Bakugou and Vegetta, you could always tell they were trying to make people understand they were hot stuff, to make it clear that they were the best, to convince others as much as they try to convince themselves to believe in their own hype.

It always had a hint of insecurity as if they needed people to believe in them because deep down, they didn't believe in themselves.

But you don't really get that from Desscaras.

It always felt like she couldn't care less what people think of her. She doesn't need me, you, or anyone to buy into her hype, because she already buys it, and that's all she needs.

The reason her smugness isn't annoying is because you get the sense she's doing it not because she has something to prove but because that's just how she sees herself.

She's likable because you can feel how much she loves herself and who she is...

And in a modern world where everyone is constantly trying to compare themselves to someone else in order to measure how happy or how successful they are, seeing someone who's just already happy with who she is is a very refreshing experience.

I saw some people often comparing her to Gojo, and I can totally see why.

They both are super strong characters who are so comfortably happy with who they are that they allow themselves to act a bit immature and goofy every now and then because they have enough trust in their own character and in their own strength to back it up.

Some sort of... "I'm strong and wise enough to allow myself to be silly" kind of thing if you will.

And that's the key word, "comfortable."

We have several examples of characters who are confident in their own strength, but who you can still feel a sense of pressure from.

Like, they're so strong so they need to set an example, they need to be a role model, they need to make people feel safe, they need to live up to the image that's expected from them.

But Desscaras doesn't care about any of that. She doesn't try to be a role model or anything, she's just living her life the way she's most comfortable with.

The fact that she's one of the strongest doesn't get in the way of how she presents herself to others, her personality does.

The best way I can describe Desscaras is an ideal combination of power + confidence + and comfortableness.

She kinda feels like the perfect embodiment of strength. Characters in stories who are often labeled as "the strongest" or "the most powerful" are often depicted like people who let the power get to their heads and thus end up becoming huge jerks because of it, or they are so confident in their strength that they start to treat things with indifference because they know they can survive anything, or they feel so responsible for the power they carry that they became overly cold and serious about it.

There are several depictions of strength but we don't often get one that manages to balance it out this level of confidence, maturity, and comfort with one self.

You usually tend to feel like one element or two is missing to create something really unique, and Desscaras feels like that something unique where every element is just at the right place.

She feels like a very refreshing take on "The strongest" trope, a comfortable depiction of strength, and I'm excited to see where we go with her. 😊

[in1-nutshell]

I'm gonna try again tfp team prime with a bot Buddy who has a concerning interest in poison. 😅 And now i'm beginning to annoy myself

Hello there! Don't worry about asking again, I'm just not well versed in some things that's all. Still glad you asked though! Since you did not specify which characters you wanted I will be selecting them at random.

Hope you enjoy!

Ratchet, Wheeljack, and Ultra Magnus reaction to Bot Buddy who is fascinated with poison

SFW, Platonic, talks of poison, Cybertronian/ Bot reader

TFP

Ratchet

Ratchet has known Buddy for a while. As in before the war started, before their interest in poison.

Buddy used to be a good doctor that helped him from time to time in his makeshift clinic. They were always experimenting with new forms of medicine to treat patients. It could have been medicine for a mesh wound to try to find a cure for the rust plague.

It was during the war that they had found an interest in poison.

Ratchet wouldn't see Buddy again until they crash landed on Earth. To say it was a pleasant surprise was an understatement.

"Ratchet? Ratchet is that you my friend?"--Buddy

"Buddy?! By the Allspark it's great to see you online."--Ratchet

"Likewise my friend. Now tell me, what do you need?"--Buddy

"Any help at this point would be nice, truly. "--Ratchet

"Well it's a good thing I brought my kits! Don't worry this war will be over in no time now!"--Buddy

"You still have the kits?! I thought they were destroyed in your lab back on Kimia."--Ratchet

"Kits? Ratchet what are they talking about?"--Bulkhead

"An explanation would be nice."--Arcee

"Buddy has a gift for medicine... And other things..."--Ratchet

"Oh Ratchet you make it sound like a bad thing. To answer your question, my dear Wrecker, I specialize in poisons and venoms of all sorts! Pretty exciting don't you think?"--Buddy

"... I'm just going to be over there..."--Bulkhead

While Ratchet isn't exactly thrilled with the idea of Buddy handling any type of poison, he has to admit that they do get the job done.

Buddy is often seen in their little corner of the base or near the consoles discussing things with Ratchet.

Wheeljack

Wheeljack knew Buddy from the Wrecker's. Like him, Buddy was a former scientist before the war started.

The two of them went together faster than a house on fire. One was never too far from the other, and if they were something was going to explode.

There was a huge explosion the day that the two had gotten separated.

Years later Buddy found a strange signal coming from a planet called Earth. They decided to go and check it out. Who knows if they would find more poisonous things for their kits?

They didn't find any poison yet, but they did find Ultra Magnus, Bulkhead, and Wheeljack.

"Wheeljack! Bulkhead! Ultra Magnus sir!"--Buddy

"Buddy?--Bulkhead

"Buddy?!"--Magnus

"Buddy!"--Wheeljack

"Wait how do we know if it's the real Buddy? We don't want another Makeshift problem."--Bulkhead

"Makeshift?"--Buddy

"True soldier. From what you told me we need to be on high alert in case this is a Decepticon."--Magnus

"Decepticon?"--Buddy

"It's Buddy I can tell."--Wheeljack

"How?"--Bulkhead

"There is only one bot crazy enough to carry that many kits labeled POISON like it's a collection of rocks."--Wheeljack

"Hey!"--Buddy

After the formal introductions are made, and Buddy gets to know Team Prime, they are once again attached to Wheeljack.

Wheeljack doesn't mind Buddy's fascination with poison. In fact he encourages it. The more Cons they can the better.

Ultra Magnus

Ultra Magnus knew Buddy as a new recruit for the Wrecker's medic.

How in the world they became friends?

Magnus doesn't have the right answer for that. It just happened.

He is well aware of Buddy's poisonous hobbies but he can't say they aren't benefiting from it. There have been multiple times where the Wrecker's would have been killed if not for Buddy's experiments.

Buddy had gotten separated from the Wrecker's during a rather gruesome battle. Magnus pushes his grief deep down so he could focus on leading his group.

Buddy gets reunited with Magnus when they literally crash into the IronWill.

"Identify yourself!"--Magnus

"Magnus? Ultra Magnus! I can tell how good it is to hear your voice my friend!"--Buddy

"Buddy?"--Magnus

"Sure is Commander! Might I say it again, it's good to hear your voice."--Buddy

Magnus gives Buddy the introduction to the team. He makes sure that Buddy doesn't feel isolated or left out. He knows how that feels.

It takes more time for the team to get used to the fact that Magnus has a best friend than Buddy playing around with poison.

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

do u have hcs for sams post canon family life

Ok so gonna preface this with the fact that I hold opinions that I think are relatively uncommon in this corner of Samblr which is that as a general overarching thing Sam was relatively happy, he and blurry partner stayed together and were mostly happy, and Sam was on the whole a pretty good dad. Not that everything was perfect, far from it, but that generally it all worked out ok. I feel this way mostly tbh because if I didn't I would genuinely struggle to get any enjoyment out of the finale. I'm a FAKE Sam suffering enjoyer lmao. It's already deeply fucking depressing to me to imagine Sam spending eternity in heaven with Dean being squished back into The Roles, I need SOMETHING so cling too lol.

ANYWAYS that being said:

Said this before but although I am fairly flexible on identity of blurry partner my personal favourite thing to come back to is that she is Amelia. So I'm gonna run with her for the rest of these.

Related to this is that I think when we see Sam leave the bunker in the finale to go on the hunt in Texas that ended up being the last time he ever returned. He didn't mean it to be, it just happened. Maybe subconsciously he knew because he'd packed the little memory box with pictures etc in the trunk of the Impala without thinking about it. Anyway keeping this on track, he ends up staying in Texas and eventually, he and Amelia run into each other again - her having left Don again after things didn't work out a few years ago (gonna be real with you I think Don was abusive) and end up reconnecting.

Riot and Miricle are kinda grumpy but tolerant about each other.

They also eventually adopt an old lady tabby cat from the local shelter who absolutely terrorises both dogs, but dotes on Sam.

Sam ends up telling Amelia the truth about his life about 3 months into their relationship restarting, not all of it, but enough to keep her aware. She says that honestly even though it sounds crazy it makes a LOT of sense of how Sam was when they first met. This is the point at which they decide they do want their relationship to last and be serious. Amelia suggests they do couple's counselling together, given both their past issues if they really want to make this work.

He and Amelia never marry for a variety of reasons, but it works for them.

Sam ends up getting a degree - I think in something like anthropology (me an archaeologist totally not biased here lol), he does it through a distance learning program so mostly online but with some in-person classes and workshops.

DJ wasn't a planned pregnancy and it took a lot of discussion between them to decide to go ahead. Sam in particular was very anxious about the idea of being an actual dad to an actual baby, as much as he was kinda one to Jack he knows this is a whole different level. Amelia never wanted kids with Don. Amelia is also in her 40s by the time it happens so there are extra potential complications to consider. In the end they both agree that they want go ahead, and they both acknowledge that this will probably be their only kid.

Already mentioned Sam and DJ being autistic elsewhere but that's very precious to me.

Sam does struggle to find a balance between making sure he's there for DJ in a way his dad wasn't for him and being too much of a helicopter parent. He's SO conscious of DJ being an only child and the potential for loneliness stemming from that (absolutely projecting his own childhood loneliness SO hard and of course, his ideas on sibling companionship are NOT normal lol). As DJ get's older Sam does manage to relax a little, although it is still an issue from time to time.

That being said as I mentioned previously re the autism headcannon this level of worry also means that Sam puts in SO much work and research into being a supportive dad to an autistic kid.

Amelia is the 'breadwinner' in the relationship, continuing to work as a vet, Sam works a series of different part-time jobs over the years, mostly involving fixing stuff. After he gets his degree he works a couple of days a week at the local library as an assistant.

Related, finally stopping hunting gave him time to really catch up with and assess his body, and a lot of the weight and wear and tear of what he'd been through hit him quite suddenly. He has chronic fatigue issues in particular for the rest of his life which is why part-time work ends up being the best solution for him. Although Amelia, and DJ when he's a teenager, do still frequently have to sit him down and force him to stop trying to do too much at once.

Amelia passes away before Sam. She had been dead for about 5 years by the time Sam died.

Sam keeps very little contact with the hunting world, but Jody does still come to visit. DJ is very fond of her, much to Sam's delight.

The first time Sam had to look after DJ on his own after Amelia went back to work full time and was working a nightshift he was stuck to him like glue, Amelia came home to find him curled up on the floor asleep right next to DJs cot.

Sam loves helping DJ with his homework, and DJ loves it too - its their special time together, and its when Sam is able to be most emotionally open and present.

Sam's issues with food never go away, and its one thing he and Amelia do get into fights over is Sam (unintentionally) putting some of his issues on DJ (think Sam telling Jack he shouldn't eat sugary cereal).

Sam and Amelia both discover a love of gardening and they spend a lot of their free time together working on their garden. Amelia particularly loves roses and has a little rose garden that becomes their little sanctuary (Amelia's ashes are buried there). Sam creates a little healing herbs garden, he doesn't actively practice witchcraft but he likes to make little tinctures and teas and stuff.

I'll stop there lol

[gunsandspaceships]

Tony is not a businessman

Crazy opinion, some might say. But I know what I'm talking about. Let me show you.

Here's a hypothesis: Tony was never interested in becoming CEO of SI or any other company. Never wanted to do business for life. Was not interested in what's going on in his company before Afghanistan. And never even learned how to run it.

Let's check the facts we have:

Before becoming CEO, Tony spent his entire life as a student. He had degrees in science and engineering. Nothing close to business. No MBA, no economics, no management. His interest was focused on robotics and AI. Before his parents died, he had no experience running a company or working in business. I'm sure his father gave him some business training. Including, of course, how to behave in public so as not to be eaten by sharks. But that's it. He never showed or mentioned any interest in business.

He was not interested in expanding his company or making more money. He stopped at $10-20 billion. Never earned more, but could. Reminder from this post about the net worth of real billionaires: Elon Musk - $210 billions, Jeff Bezos - $195 billions, Bill Gates - $129 billions. Huge difference. And they are not even as brilliant as he is.

He also didn't try to buy and take over other companies.

He didn't really care about money. He stopped weapon manufacturing after returning from Afghanistan. He knew that SI could go bankrupt. Easily. But he did it anyway. He could have made a lot of enemies. Including politicians and military. He did it anyway.

He instructed Pepper not to do business with other companies working on anything that could be used as a weapon.

And this means fewer projects and contracts, less profit and influence on the market and many industries.

Have you ever seen him actually run SI independently? In IM1, he showed Jericho to officers in Afghanistan and reported back to Stane on how it went.

He wasn't even aware of the Board meeting.

He appointed Pepper as CEO. Yes, he thought he was going to die soon. But he never took it back. This gave him more freedom to do what he was most interested in and enjoyed doing - science and saving the world.

When he was appointing her in IM2, he said:

He thought. He didn't even know how the company's processes worked. Because he was not interested, and because Stane was doing business for him.

And Tony simply trusted him and the board of directors because they promised him they wouldn't do dirty business. That was the only thing that interested him back then.

That's why he had zero awareness of all the under-the-table deals Stane made behind his back. Because Tony never looked back. He trusted them. This trait will again hurt him greatly in the future.

We never saw him in his office (only when it became Pepper's office). He was always at home in his lab.

Every time Pepper or other people came to Tony with business matters, Tony tried to get rid of them (the matters and the people). To postpone, to ignore, to be late, intentionally or not. It was boring. He didn't like the people in business. He didn't respect them because he knew who they were. He didn't care about their recognition. He was making more room in his busy schedule to spend time at home, doing science and tinkering.

Conclusion: Tony was never really the CEO of SI. He was its R&D Department.

He was never a businessman, but had to pretend to be one. He was not a businessman not because he was incapable or lazy. He was smart enough to do the job. It just wasn't his thing. He was glad to get rid of this obligation as soon as possible. After 20 years of living a life he never wanted, it certainly felt great being someone closer to himself.

P.S. Happy non-CEO 1602 Tony says Hi from his science barn (he also knows the local Robin Hood, but shh...).

[vinxhwrites]

note: this is the result of a crazy writing frenzy I was in last night, I went a bit feral over this idea and I don't know where this story is going. Also I spiraled after I read this. anywayyy hope you enjoy this drabble.

pairing: f!reader x price (x ghost - maybe eventually?)

summary: After going to work in the military you develop a weird relationship dynamic with your captain, and soon you find out you're not the only one.

word count: 2.7k

cw: 18+, daddy kink (!), probably inaccurate job descriptions/situations, pet names, a little bit of angst, a little bit of h/c; reader is kind of a crybaby; not proofread;

NEXT

You couldn't explain the story of how you got yourself in this situation if you tried. You were barely able to understand it yourself. Yet, here you were, sobbing in your captain's arms at his office, way past your working hours, calling him daddy and praying that he'd kiss you.

You had a hard day, as it was pretty common nowadays.

You certainly weren't fit for this work environment and you were painfully aware of it. It didn't matter how much you tried you couldn't get past this fact: you were an academic. You weren't used to the discipline, the hierarchy, and the life-engulfing aspects of the military.

When you had accepted the job 8 months prior, it really was the salary that convinced you, if you were being honest about it. You had been living on scholarships most of your adult life and it was getting kind of tiring. A part of you wanted to refuse out of a moral stance, but you didn't.

You were fresh out of a linguistics PhD program at the time, and you excelled as a student and researcher, but your skills were very specific and not that marketable. Your mom was probably right when she tried to dissuade you from dedicating your time to mostly dead and made-up languages, but you were too stubborn to listen at the time, although her greatest concerns were, as usual, well-founded. Needless to say, the opportunity came at the right time.

It seemed urgent and they tested you relentlessly. It was clear to you from the beginning that no one there was thrilled to resort to a civilian linguist. It was fun, though, and you passed the tests as if they were silly little puzzles you do to relax. And you were the only candidate to be able to decently decipher the completely made-up languages and codes that were used in the telegraphs they gave you.

They hired you on an 18-month contract for two different jobs: translating and decrypting intercepted messages for a task force, and also training their own linguists to do what you did. If you were good at it, you wouldn't be needed anymore.

The task force was nice enough, all four of them treated you well and didn't bother you much. At first, it was a bit disconcerting, but by now you've gotten used to how attractive they all were to the point where it almost didn't affect you anymore.

All of them called you birdie. You liked it, it made you feel included to have a little nickname. Soap was the one to come up with it on the second week you were working with them "Some birds know many languages." he had explained, clarifying: "Bird languages, ye know". The original explanation made you smile, but the addition made you blush "Plus, ye're cute like a little birdie"

The training part though wasn't going so well. You were almost 100% sure that all six of the students hated you. It seemed offensive to them to have to sit down and learn anything from you. In the beginning, you did your best to be pleasant, to do the best job you could, and maybe win them over. But at this point, you just wanted to be done with it and never look at any of those people ever again.

They were building a computer program to do your job apart from the classes. You felt offended at first at how they didn't even hide the fact that you would be used and then replaced by a more efficient machine, but you were now praying that they'd get it done as quickly as possible. The program was really good at pattern recognition, but it still wasn't good enough at semantics, and it lacked any nuance of interpretation.

The only thing that made you want to stay a little longer was this thing with Captain Price. It had started innocent enough, he took pity on you when he noticed you struggling with the new environment. He said some kind and assuring words here and there when he noticed how much the students tormented you, and he'd reprehend anyone who dared to disrespect you in front of him.

Eventually, Price casually invited you to work in his office if you wanted to, being away from other people seemed to ease your nerves a bit. He didn't mind, he assured you, it was nice to have some company. More than that, he genuinely found your job fascinating and always asked you to show him how you did it in his free time.

He sometimes brought you tea the afternoons you spent there, he'd accidentally brush his arm against yours, or touch your leg with his knee when you sat beside him. At first, he'd correct the movement, but it evolved to not correcting it, to then doing it intentionally.

They were simple touches, a little pat on your shoulder here, brushing your hair out of your face there, every single one made you shiver. One day he made a comment about how uncomfortable you looked on the chair and pulled your legs to rest on his lap while he worked. That was the first night you allowed yourself to fantasize about him to sleep.

John had a warm and comforting presence, and you were genuinely disappointed when he wasn't around, finding comfort in the fact that he gave you a copy of his office keys, so you could work there even when he wasn't present.

Ghost was there sometimes, seemingly preferring to work from Price's office as well. At first, he seemed to get disconcerted by your presence, probably a bit annoyed that he had to share the space with you, you thought.

He was never rude to you, just awfully quiet, even when it was just the two of you there. He nodded at you when you greeted him, and often sat on the big sofa on the corner or even on the floor. You offered him the desk many times, feeling a bit guilty for taking up so much space, but you noticed he only accepted when he seemed truly tired. Despite the unsettling silence, you thought he was a gentleman.

You first thought that John had somehow hypnotized you when you noticed the subtle ways in which your heart lost its pace whenever he commanded you to do something. He rarely asked without a smile, a polite inclination "dear, will you please file these reports for me?" "can you please grab me a cup of coffee?". He'd only deviate you from your tasks like this when he seemed to be in a bad mood, you noticed. It was never about anything urgent, and it was always when you were clearly already busy. In spite of it, you were never able to say no. He seemed to derive pleasure from bossing you around like that, but you knew he didn't have to remind you of the power he had over you, as it always hovered on your mind. Either way, soon enough you were painfully aware of the fact that you'd do absolutely anything he asked you to.

But you knew, for sure, that you were in trouble when you realized you got aroused anytime he'd compliment your work. Getting his praise started to be a more important goal to you than anything else. Earning a "good girl" was a rare occurrence, but it never failed to make your day.

One day he found you crying, and you couldn't quite explain what it was with words without feeling ridiculous. After what they called a "successful mission" it dawned on you that the information you were extracting out of those telegraphs really was being used to kill people. Those weren't your silly little puzzles.

"Criminals" Soap had corrected you as you tried to articulate your despair, much to your dismay. He wheezed as if your frame of thought was absolutely hilarious. "Shouldn't be here if you'll react like that, birdie" he had said and you wanted to scream.

"You'll get used to it" Gaz had assured you, sending a disapproving look towards Soap.

Later, the more you tried to express your frustration to John the more you cried, sobbing pathetically. It was the first time he hugged you, shielding you from the world around you for a minute.

"You don't understand..." you tried to explain, but you cut the sentence short at his stern look.

"I do understand," he said frowning, keeping his hand firm on your back. He took a deep breath and leaned down a bit to look you in the eyes "Listen, you do a good job, sweetie. You're doing good things, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes" he assured you.

You nodded and tried to get the crying under control, suddenly aware that you probably looked terrible.

John cupped your face in his hands.

"Why don't you get the rest of the day off and get some rest, huh?" he suggested kindly "come to me if you need to talk."

After that, he got more and more comfortable being physically close to you. It quickly evolved, as you enjoyed being close to him a bit too much. Sometimes he'd squeeze your hand in his when you sat beside him behind his desk very casually and, sometimes, you'd rest your head on his shoulder while he worked. Saying you were in love felt like an understatement, but you'd never make it real by saying it out loud.

You once made a joke in passing about how your dad left you and your family, but he didn't laugh. He tilted his head and looked worried instead. I'm here if you want to talk he said, and it made you want to bury your head in the dirt.

Price called you many things, at first it was dear, sweetie, birdie, love, and finally, he settled with baby.

"what are you doing there, baby?" he just asked casually one day, and you almost gasped, feeling your heart attempt to leave your chest.

Although your relationship with him wasn't sexual in practice, it certainly was sexualized in essence. To you it was, at least. Oedipal if you were to be honest with yourself.

The first time he called himself your daddy it simultaneously broke and healed something in your brain. He chuckled at your reaction, how you looked at him wide-eyed and full of hope, hiding your face on his chest next.

"thank you, sir" you whispered then, pathetically.

You feared at times that your affection to him was one-sided, that he saw comforting you like this as a part of his job, a strange but effective one as well. You wondered if it made you weak, you didn't even try to be brave and deal with things alone anymore, you were aware of how childish it was to knock on his door looking for daddy's embrace at the slightest inconvenience. But you couldn't help it, it was too comforting to give up.

And that's the exact position you were in now. You had a bad day so you came running to him. He was awfully kind to you, as usual, and you prayed that it was a sign of enjoyment, that he actually liked comforting you like this.

You didn't notice when Simon came in. He froze by the door, and the captain just signaled for him to close it. John still had his arm wrapped around you, a hand stroking your hair.

"Shhh, it's ok now" he cooed at you "daddy's here."

Simon watched as you melted in his arms at the words, your breathing easing instantly. Again, you felt as if hypnotized. Your body responded to his words before your mind could catch up with them.

You wanted him even closer, you wanted to curl up on his lap, and have him rock you like a baby. Most of all, you wanted him to kiss you. You craved the touch of his lips on yours and the thought clouded your mind. Just that week you had already masturbated to the thought of him twice. Although you always reprehended yourself afterward, it didn't work to make these thoughts go away.

You rehearsed in your mind the idea of looking up and kissing him but didn't build enough courage to do it. You thought you'd die if he ever rejected you.

"That's it, you're ok," John said when he noticed the pace of your breathing ease, with his cheek pressed to the top of your head "I've got you, baby" he pressed kisses to your hairline. You sniffed, using your sleeve to clean the tears from your cheek.

"Now, be a good girl and go get some sleep," he said and you nodded against his chest, inhaling the warm smell of his shirt and suffering with the upcoming separation already "Ghost will take you to bed".

You raised your head and blinked at him, and that's when you finally noticed the tall figure close to the door, unmoved. You wiped your tears, distressed. For how long had he been there?

"Will you guide her to her room, lieutenant?" John asked him calmly, as if you didn't find yourself in the most embarrassing of situations.

"Yes, sir" Simon responded in the same tone.

The walk back to your room was painfully silent. The corridor around you was dark and empty. Your entire body was tense, and you walked fast trying to keep up with Simon's pace, hoping that he'd just say something and put you out of your angst, but he didn't.

When you finally reached your door, he opened it and waited for you to go inside.

"I'm sorry that you saw that" you blurted out, cheeks flushed pink "I-I don't know what to say. It's really not like that...-"

"It's OK" he interrupted when he noted the despair in your voice. He tilted his head a bit, evaluating your expression "I get it." there was something mischievous in his eyes, and you wondered if he was smiling at you behind the mask.

"Do you?" you asked, your voice was almost a whisper.

He nodded, and you relaxed a bit "I'm sorry you had a shitty day, birdie"

"It's okay"

"Tell me if you need anything." he said before signaling for you to enter your bedroom again, you thanked him quietly and closed the door.

Simon went back to Price's office in hurried steps, letting out a sigh when he entered. He was exhausted.

His captain was seated on the sofa, reports spread on the coffee table in front of him and a cigar put out on the ashtray beside him.

"Come here" John said, his eyes didn't move from the papers in his hands.

Simon took off his boots and mask before curling up on the sofa, resting his head on the captain's legs, and finally taking a deep breath as John started to brush his fingers through his hair.

"Don't know what to do with her" John murmured, more to himself than to start a conversation.

Simon hummed in response, his eyes felt heavy, and he could no longer keep them open.

"She's such a sensitive little thing..." John continued, seemingly lost in thought.

"She's cute" the lieutenant murmured, the drowsiness that flooded his brain making it almost impossible to form a coherent thought.

"Yeah" John chuckled lightly. "Well, don't worry about it." he assured, taking his attention back to petting Simon's hair "How are you?"

"Fine" he purred, getting comfortable on the sofa, even though it was a bit too small for him.

John hummed as he stroked Simon's cheek lightly "my pretty boy"

He watched Simon as he let his eyes rest completely and his body relax, being taken by slumber in a matter of seconds.

John continued to read reports well into the night, only waking Simon up, gently, when he finally decided to get some sleep himself. He accompanied Simon to his bedroom before moving to his own, patting him on the shoulder before sending him to bed. It was easier for Simon to fall asleep on his own then, as it usually was, after he had already been nursed to sleep beforehand.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday Fandom :) Wanted to post links to the last few I know they came over the holidays in case anyone missed them. The master list has also been updated. 4x22 , 5x01, 5x02

We’ve reached our yearning era and I’m here for it. This one may not have a ton but it’s just enough that at we were all dying for more. I was so excited to be an era where very aware of their feelings but couldn’t be together yet. Good stuff. Let us proceed shall we?

5x03-Dye Hard

We jump one month into the future. Because Lucy has gone to UC school. So our couple has been apart for some time at this point. Making that longing extra intense. Lucy arrives home to a surprise party of sorts. She's just returning home from UC school. Tamara and Chris welcome her back with mustaches. I love how excited she is Lucy is back. Always take some cute hugs with them. She tells Lucy the she has to head to school but wants to hear all about it tonight. I love them so much.

Leaves us just the clown and Lucy. Bleh. She asks him how he’s doing? Says he’s doing ok. Typing is still hard but he’s glad to be back at work. Was going crazy on the couch. Tells her there’s something else that’s been helping him more. An online group trying to hunt Rosalind. Kinda like the one she was apart of for Aaron’s case back in 4x16. Lucy doesn’t look excited about this idea. He says they contacted him few weeks ago. They call themselves Dye Hards.

Hence the name of the episode. That their research is actually impressive. They compile all their credible tips in an encrypted document. Called the ‘mother doc.’ Lucy’s face is screaming how much she hates all this. But instead of reading her like he should he presses her further. Because it’s Chris…never respects any boundaries she’s putting up but sure man keep going. Force her to read about the one person who sets her PTSD off like no other.

Just so you can have some peace of mind…grumble….Dislike him so very much. Lucy tells him how not healthy this is. (It really isn’t…) That she’s just a patrol officer. He whines about how the task force is ignoring him. Of course they are ya putz. It's why he’s dragging her into this. I hate this very much. Lucy gives in and says she’ll give his doc a look. That good ole guilt driving her decisions about him some more. Smh.

Roll call starts out with Grey congratulating Lucy. She successfully passed UC school. Telling everyone that is no small feat. Look at Tim ever the proud husband. That look alone says everything you need to know about her crushing it. The soft looks in his eyes. That soft gaze he only reserves for her. *sigh* Oh pining era you are lovely.

Lucy trying to contain her emotions about all of it. Grey calling her out and congratulating her. Tim looking at her like she hung the moon and stars. Couldn’t be more telling if he tried. She can’t even look at him. Just messes with her thermos. Lucy not really knowing how to react to the attention. Especially Tim’s…She just nods and hopes they move on.

Aaron and Lucy come out of roll call together. Lucy is congratulating him on making P2. Lucy also commends him on being a good aide for Tim. Aaron is very aware of Tim and Lucy. Maybe not everything but enough to offer stepping back. Then asks Lucy if Tim said he’s doing a good job? Lucy says no…that she made that last part up LMAO

Reminds me of 1x02 when Wrigley did the same to her. Thinking she got praise from Tim early on. Only to be crushed by the fact that he hadn't...Yeah you gotta really earn that Tim Bradford praise Aaron lol His reaction to that fake news is hilarious. Lucy can't lie and has to let him know no such praise has happened. Sorry my man.

Lucy follows it up with he hasn’t replaced him yet LOL I mean that’s a lot coming from Tim. If he wasn't happy he would've traded him away like baseball card. Lucy adding on 'So he’s…happy.' As happy as one could be without his person by his side sure. This next bit it sticks in her throat a bit as she says it.

Telling him he should stick with him. Obviously killing her to be to be apart from him. To pass up taking being his aide once again. But she wants to keep the distance up. For the same reasons as 5x02. Hurts too much to be around him when she can’t be with him. The pining era is so good for these moments. Aaron asks if she’s sure? Because she doesn't seem sure...

Only they could have such immense chemistry with an intense stare. One that is across the room from each other BTW. The longing is palpable af. Angsty goodness right here. Also those are some smoldering bedroom eyes for Lucy. My god idk how she could function after him looking at her that way. Would make me hot under the collar good god. That man wants her back in his shop. But we know that isn’t happening anytime soon.

So much pining and tension with just one look good lord. His stare does end up affecting her. Her breath hitches a little when they make eye contact. She stammers a little in her advice to Aaron. I love how they find each other those across a room. That magnetic pull only they understand. It’s automatic no matter what’s going on. Lucy rambling on about needing some quiet time anyways..You know for her next steps in her career...

More like Tim thinking time. Let’s be real. I love how the entire time she’s just staring at Tim. Spending most of their conversation just staring right back. Even when he’s looked down. She misses him so much. That is very evident in this moment. When she finally breaks off her longing she notices Aaron looking at his phone ha Not even paying attention to her anymore. Making a sassy comment that he hasn't even heard a word she's said. He apologizes and says he has to deal with something personal.

We start out with Tim and Aaron. Tim feeling extra surly after seeing Lucy. Much worse getting to be that close and not really getting to see her. So Aaron is on thin ice when Tim sees him buried in his phone. He apologizes and says he’s having person problem. Tim saying this is a ‘personal life free zone.’ Ha! Not since Lucy Chen entered your life it isn’t…

Aaron tells him it could derail his career. Tim sighs and that little bit of Lucy’s influence comes out. He asks him what it is? Aaron going on about a dating site. Using a thirst trap LOL Tim’s reaction is too damn funny. ‘I wish I didn’t…’ Look at our softie helping Aaron with his problem.

He goes on to tell Tim he was cat-fished and now the dude is blackmailing him. Tim is confused saying he thought the pic didn’t show anything? We find out this guy has photoshopped something worse. He shows it to Tim and I’m dying. ‘Could’ve been worse…At least he was generous. LMAO Oh Timothy I love you so.

We catch Lucy riding solo. She sees a homeless man go into an abandoned building. Calls it in saying she going to go look for squatters. She calls back in after she’s finds nothing. Saying she is Code 4. That is before she notices a freezer open with wallets in it. The man she followed in traps her in the old walk in freezer. Thankfully it’s out of commission. Unfortunately it blocks her radio signal. Leaving her trapped there with no one to tell she is….You can tell she wants to shout a whole lot of expletives above ha

Aaron gets contacted by his catfish. He wants a PS5 and delivered to his apt. Tim is so funny in this scene. Saying oh good he’s a dumbass LOL Giving up his location and needing something they can obtain on the way. Aaron doesn’t want to give in but Tim makes a good point about the photo. It’ll be in police evidence and he doesn’t want that ha. Aaron says good thing he has a gamer connection in K-Town. Tim shaking his head not shocked in the least about this. Of course he does...

Poor Lucy tries once again to get ahold of dispatch but to no avail. She has to try and talk her anxiety down. I would be doing the same thing to try and relax. Telling herself that at some point there will be a welfare check. (Well Tim will for sure…) She can’t do anything until that point. So she pulls out her phone and starts reading that mother doc the clown sent. Lucy is too funny as she reads these messages.

I love her talking to the smiley face on the freezer LOL She is so adorable I cannot stand it. Then she stumbles upon someone making sense. As she reads it aloud something clicks in her brain. A saying Rosalind told Nolan a long time ago. The 5 star meal comment. Lucy starts to get restless again. Jumps up and starts banging on the door for help again.

They show up to the address and it’s a teenager..he just wanted a PS5. I love how stern and authoritative Tim is with this kid. Saying bad behavior doesn’t get rewarded. Mmm no it doesn’t. Idk why that does it for me with Tim but it does. It’s yum tum city and I am a resident. They get the kid to delete the photo and take down the profile. He says they suck when Tim takes the PS5. Cracks me up he keeps it for himself. I love this man so very much haha

We return to the shop and Tim’s Lucy radar is going off. Aaron’s going on about the kid still but Tim’s mind is elsewhere. He has Lucy on his brain. Has that panicked look he reserves only for her going on. He asks Aaron the last time he heard Chen on the radio? He replies he can’t remember…maybe like hour or two ago? Let me start with I adore him waiting to hear her voice on the radio. Then noticing he hasn't in awhile.

How he keeps track of not hearing from her in some time. Tim knows she’s solo today. You know that man was subconsciously keeping track of her in the back of his mind. Some serious married vibes here my love. This definitely doesn’t line up with the 'moving on’ you were talking bout in 5x02. When Aaron says least 2 hours worried Tim arrives. He’s freaking out something has happened to her.

I’m sure he’s also thinking if she was riding with him this wouldn’t be happening. But she isn’t…Tim contacts dispatch about her. They say it’s been over two hours. Angry/protective Tim also joins the party. Welcome sir nice to see you. Telling dispatch they’re gonna talk about that later. Phew lord. You know that man is going to destroy dispatch over this. Hell is going to rain down on them for not keeping track of her. For now he just wants her location to check on her. Needs to get his worried husband portion to settle first.

Once they’ve arrived he calls out her name a couple times. Lucy finally hears him and bangs on the door. Then comes a DELICIOUS shot of his arms/forearms. My god it’s like they’re trying to make me a puddle. The definition in his arms as he pulls that door free.* fans self* god that man is in shape. Mmm Legit drooling as he pulls on that door. Forearm porn AND biceps shot. I’m a happy girl. Like hot damn that is a thirst trap of a shot above.

He gets the door to finally pop open. Also nice thigh/bootie shot of him as well. I'm not mad about it. Asking her how she is? So very worried about her. Unfortunately Lucy is not in the frame of mind to receive it. Just tells him she has a lead on Rosalind. Not the response he was expecting…He asks 'What?' anyways. She tells them about the message boards Chris has been on. Filled with arm chair detectives. Tim asks her if they found her? She says no she thinks one of them is her.

The Feds get brought in cause Chris’s dumbass has been talking to her. Feeding her stuff about him and the investigation going on. Because well it's Chris. Can’t read Lucy when she’s being obvious af so why would he notice this? Lucy is sweet and tells him he didn’t know. I on the other hand am like dumbass LOL He asks if he should set up a meet. Yes Chris, she’s a highly intelligent psychopath she wouldn’t see through that at all…

Garza saying Cyber crimes is now involved. They’re going to try and track her through her IP address if possible. Chris is feeling like the dummy he is. He leaves the meeting upset. I’m a bad person enjoying this lmao I mean Tim would’ve been Lucy’s real target but he was in Vegas with her. She knows that’s her fierce protector. So he was the next I was gonna say best thing but that’s not true. But closest thing that would rattle her.

Tim and Aaron arrive at the station and there is posters everywhere. Everyone is laughing. Of course Smitty has them and is glowing over it. I mean Tim did pick Nolan over him for union president. So of course he is enjoying this. It's of Tim photoshopped naked with a cupcake covering him up OMG. Tim is seeing red. I don’t blame him. Just when they thought their catfish was over he pulls this. Clearly pissed at Tim for taking the PS5 and lecturing him.

They arrive at Pavi’s house with the felony papers. Tim saying he can file these today. Or he could use his skills for good. James needs someone to teach computer literacy at the center. That if is does this twice a week he’ll shred them. Otherwise he has 18 months to file these. He’s a little snot and throws Tim’s words about electronics back at him. Tim says he’s lucky Aaron believes in second chances. His mom calls him and he says to text him the details. I love Tim leaving Aaron hanging for his fist bump LMFAO. He does tell him they did good though so that’s something. Aaron has to fist bump himself ha.

Lucy gets to join the task force with the FBI. They’re headed to Seattle where the IP was traced. Lucy looks like an absolute bad ass in OP gear. A determined look on her face. They make it inside and find two bodies…sadly the homeowners. Psycho worked out of their house and just left their bodies there as she did. She is a one sick cookie. Lucy sees her message written in blood on the wall. She is long gone.

Not a ton in this one but what we did get was real good. Plus I always enjoy Tim/Aaron time they have a good dynamic. Fun to watch them together.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Intro of Celina Juarez. I wasn’t sure about her at first but ended up adoring her. Just like Aaron. Good job writers haha

Did love Tim tearing Nolan a new one about Celina bad stop. Was sexy af. Maybe shouldn’t have been a turn on but it was LOL

Thank you as always to you lovely readers. Wouldn’t be here without your likes/comments and reblogs ❤️ see you in 5x04 :)

[whumpsoda]

Trapped

I have been so busy and burnt out lately from work and writing and art and just everything :(

I have had like no good ideas working out for me and this definitely isn’t the greatest as well, but I’m glad to at least have SOMETHING

And idk if anyone has any ideas or requests I am SO open to that :)) Enjoy!

cw: restraints

———————————————————————

Doctor stepped to the bulky, leather chair, calmly plopping herself into it. The air in the bright, sterile room was thick and tense, but she paid it no mind. 

Armed, burly guards were stationed on almost every side of her, hammering into her head how really dangerous her job was. She would much rather ignore that fact completely. No matter how risky, she was well aware of how essential her work really was. Her constantly above and beyond results was also a telltale sign of her vitality.

Moments prior, she had been urgently called down to the newest resident’s room, 0075, for what had been described as an emergency. Her higher ups always seemed to blow things out of proportion, doubting her capabilities, so the doctor was not worried. The doctor was never, worried. Not like she would show it anyways.

When she had first entered the room, she had first taken notice of her newest subject, displayed behind a thick window of glass. They had been strapped into a firm, uncushioned chair, retrained with thick, rigid, leather straps. The sight sent a momentary strike of guilt through Doctor’s being. That would occasionally occur, before she had to remind herself who she was dealing with, and why.

As expected, there were no reported injuries or power use. The guards gave no rational explanation as to why the patient had been restrained, or why Doctor had been so urgently called for. Only that the patient was in hysteric distress, which was a very usual experience for Doctor to witness.

Sitting in her own comfortable leather chair, she prepared herself for the introduction she had presented so many times prior.

“Hello patient, I’m Doctor. I’ve been so eagerly looking forward to meeting our newest resident, although not exactly in your state of discomfort.” The person’s eyes across the glass stabbed into the doctor’s, their look a mix of fury, desperation, and embarrassment.

“Let me go.” They snapped. As they began to struggle against the straps, the numerous security personnel guarding them took quick notice.

“Do not touch them.” The command froze the guards in their tracks. “They’re fine.” Doctor flashed a genuine smile toward their patient in attempt to comfort them, eliciting only a glare in response.

Doctor remembered the patient’s file stating they were young, but not as young as they appeared. The subject couldn’t be any older than twenty three, at the very most. Doctor was much older, and rarely ever saw any patients under thirty. They saddened at the thought of someone being corrupted so young.

Doctor lofted her hands into a defensive position, almost as if taming a wild beast. “I know you must be very scared right now, understandably so, but I am only here to help.”

“Help? So that’s why I’ve been kidnapped, and taken to some, some crazy government place? Let! Me! Go!” The yells elicited no reaction from Doctor, having heard the same spiel so many times before.

“If you would prefer, I could elaborate on our facility, our practices, and why you’re here?” She smiled again, her dimpled cheeks lifting to her eyes. 

“No! I want you to let me go!” The patient continued struggling, to no avail, especially thanks to the metal cuffs that engulfed the patient’s entire hands. They became increasingly more distressed, their voice receding from unbridled anger, and rather leading to desperation. “You gotta let me go, lady, please! I’ve already seen enough of whatever crazy shit you’ve got going on in here, and I want no part of it.”

“If you’d just let me explain,”

“I don’t need you’re fake crap! I’ve already seen the other victims in this disgusting place, which was more than enough to fully convince me this whole thing is batshit insane!” They chuckled, a nervous and heavy one. Their cheeks were tear stained, their eyes already red and puffy from whatever events had perspired earlier.

Doctor was fully prepared for their first interaction to not go as well as she had always hoped it would. Not one patient ever gave her a trusting chance at first, but eventually they did.

This one would not be any different, she was sure of it.

“Honey, I understand you’re afraid, but no one is going to hurt you. Our only objective is to help.” She kept her back straight, both hands wrapped in her lap, and the same soothing smile plastered across her face.

“You kidnapped me! Kept me in a lab rat room for a week!”

“Oh honey, trust me, this is all for the good of everyone, and you know it.”

The patient let out another boisterous laugh, coated in worry. “You have got to be kidding! The good of everyone? Like I said, I’ve seen you’re other victims, you can’t lie to me!”

“Honey, they’re not victims, not anymore. They’re patients, just like you, getting the rehabilitation they need.”

“You call mind wiping rehab? Stealing and, and erasing a person’s entire being, molding them into some stupid,  carbon copy of a model citizen? Jumbling up someone’s brains? You people are insane! You’re not helping anyone but yourselves!” 

“We are not erasing anyone. We simply erase the villainy, their nature to commit acts of evil. Like I said, the disappearance of these seeds of evil in a person's mind simply ensures the safety of all innocent people, as well as the ill themselves.” A slender finger pushed up the shining frame of her cold glasses.

The patient’s mouth ran dry, a concoction of disbelief and horror spread across their scarred face.

“You- you can’t do this… I- I didn’t-”

“Ah, ah, ah. Don’t lie to me child, you’ve certainly done a lot of things. That's what evidently landed you here, unfortunately.”

The reality of the situation was ramping up the patient’s panic, displayed through their ramped up frantic thrashing and staggered breaths.

For a moment the doctor’s smile lost its shimmer, although it almost instantly returned in full. She turned to face the guard positioned attentively next to her. “Sedate them please, I don’t have any more time to waste dealing with this nonsense.”

As she began swiftly picking herself out of her chair, and strode determinedly to the giant metal exit, the doctor turned to meet her new resident’s gaze one last time. Although their wails enveloped the room, their eyes clouded by fat tears, they managed to meet one another’s piercing eyes.

“I look forward to your long awaited recovery, Villain. You’ll soon see just how delightful it will truly be.”

[igotanidea]

Hoodies and sneakers : Jason Todd x fem!reader

@mxtokko asked me to make part 2 of my ff Beneath (Jason Todd x fem! plus size reader). This is sth that may or may not be treated like this. @jasontoddsthickbabe - I take the liberty of tagging you since you were the one who requested previous part.

Summary: Y/N may (or not) have got through her size complex, but something new is creeping in. Something about her wearing tomboy-like clothes and not being feminine enough......

It was pretty rough day. Not because of work or the intensity, but because of late Y/N has been spending a lot of time inside her own head. Dealing with her thoughts and demons that seemed to feed of the smallest piece of insecurity and doubt. It was getting harder to deal with them and focusing on work was becoming impossible. How could she possibly concentrate when the world was going crazy before her eyes and she was slowly loosing grip of who she was and what was her place on Earth.

She was really better and sort of lighter before Jason confessed how he felt about her and they started building a relationship. Before that, she was fairly aware she was not an object of desire and therefore never focused on that. But now…. More often than not she was wondering whether she was the girl she was supposed to.

The problem was, Y/N was always the kind of girl who felt best in leggings, or even sweatpants, and hoodies. Messy hair, lack of makeup and domestic vibes were definitely her style. She was rocking sneakers, using bus instead of cab and never cared about the brand. This was fine, before Jason turned her world upside down. And now? Irony being that when she became the girlfriend the world started overflowing her with the images of hot girls in tiny dresses, feminine-like with perfect hair, painted nails etc. Real girlbosses. And that was only feeding her fears.

However, she was doing her own thing, not showing how she felt inside. It was working for a while, but after a few weeks she was getting more and more sad and frustrated and the time bomb was ticking in the stepped-up pace leading straight up to explosion.

Since Y/N was still working as a journalist in Gotham biggest newspaper and considering her part-time job as Wayne tech expert she was spending a lot of time working remotely, from the manor. Sometimes it was just too much dealing with the colleagues, but of course, from time to time she had to show in the office. For a debriefing for example. She never treated those differently than any other work day, so she was not prepared for what was coming for her.

“Wait. What do you mean photoshoot?” he eyes grew wide at the sight before her. All those professional photographers, cameras, lights and photography equipment got her head spinning

“Oh, Y/N. didn’t you get the e-mail? I sent you all notification a couple weeks ago….”

“E-mail. Right. Of course I did. I just….. forgot to open it.” In fact, when she saw a message entitled “Sitting” she just deleted it without opening. Grave mistake.

“Don’t worry about it, dear. I bet we can find some more appropriate clothes for you. The girls can borrow you something. You surely cannot show yourself in this.” Her boss pointed out towards her worn jeans and a simple, basic black T-shirt.

“I don’t think anything will fit me…..” now, the plus size complex started to creep in. Great. She felt sick. Again.

“Are you all right, y/n?” her work best friend came from behind and quickly realized what must have been happening inside her head.

“I’m fine….” She swallowed strenuously “I think I;m just gonna sit back and watch.”

“But….”

“It’s all right, I swear. I was never a fan of showing off after all. But by all means, you go ahead. It’s your time to shine.” She pushed her friends towards the other girls, who were just flawless. Showing off, smiling, teasing and flirting. High heels, office looks…. Y/N felt like a preschooler amongst the confident, beautiful women. She never get to feel like this. She never needed to be on the spotlight. So why the fuck did it hurt so much. Knowing that she would never look so hot and mature. Jason told her he loved her (yes, he finally used those words), but what if was just a toy? A way to kill time before he found someone better? Hotter? Sexier?

“Not again….” she whispered as her heart started beating rapidly due to all the projecting she was doing.

“Y/N? Are you familiar with the photo equipment?”  one of the snappers asked

“Yes! Yes I am. Do you need help?”

“Um…. I do. But are you sure you don’t want to pose with….?”

“NO! I mean, no, I’m good. I’d rather give you a hand……please…..”

“You sure….?” The guy was still hesitant. Why the hell did he ask her if he was withdrawing now. “You don’t want the attention?”

“I’m good behind the scene. Now, give me that.” She practically whipped the camera off his hands “what do you need me to do?”

So she spent the day acting all cool and goofy, assuring everyone she was fine. Even if all her coworkers knew that was a lie, no one found any words to convince her to join the session as a model, not a helper. All that situation left her with the bitter taste of not being worth the attention. How could she ever compare?  She could count the times she wore a dress on the fingers of one hands and even then she looked like a kid dressed up in her mother’s gown rather than a grown-up women she was. This was a disaster every time. So maybe she was not worth any attention?

With dark thoughts she came to the manor. Normally she would tell everyone to fuck off and leave her alone, but Dick was quite persistent, trying to bribe her with some new tech ideas Bruce came up with and with which he needed some help. So, despite her attitude she changed her plans of sitting in front of Netflix with some ice cream.

“Y/N!” Dick opened the door, beating anyone else in it and hugged her closely in welcome “you look sad. Is everything all right?

“Peachy” she muttered, looking like a storm cloud “where are those new gadgets?”

“Straight to the business, huh? How about we try to wipe that frown off your face first?”

“Listen to me very carefully now, boy wonder. If you don’t cut on your sunshine and rainbow attitude I swear I’m gonna shove your smile up your ass. See who will be wiping what then.” Dick’s eyes widened in surprise. Y/N was known for being fast talker and having harsh tongue, but this?

“Um…. All right, then…..” he muttered “let’s go to the cave. Guys are already there.”

“All of them?”

“Yes? Why? Does that bother you?”

“No. I’m actually glad. Plenty of people to pick up the fight with.”

“Y/N, are you sure you are ok?”

“I swear to god if one more person ask me this question today I will draw blood!” she exclaimed making Dick jump away and raise his hands in surrender. Shit, she was more angry than Jason when he first came out of the Pit. Grayson had a bit of experience with angered girls and knew well enough this was no joke. It was better to just keep his mouth shut. Perhaps, Jason or Tim would be able to calm her down, but he’d rather live some more. “Now, move Grayson! I don’t have all day!”

“What’s with the sad face?” Tim asked the second she walked through the entrance to the cave

“HOW ABOUT WE FOCUS ON THE TECH!?” Dick chimed in, before Y/N could answer meeting with a surprised (Tim), condescending (Damian) and amused (Jason) looks of his brothers. He exhaled deeply. “That’s why we are gathered here, right?”

“Damn it, Grayson. You sound like you were about to officiate a wedding. Should we know about something?” Damian smirked and looked at Jason and then at Y/N, who was now red like a tomato, clenching her fists. “Um…. Y/N?”

“Can. we. Just. Focus. On .The .Work” she hissed through clenched teeth moving towards the table where the tech was displayed, the boys moving out of her way. Even Jay, who usually had his ways of making her chill now just let her pass, his mouth agape. None of them has ever seen her this angry.

“What did you do to her, Dickhead?” he hissed towards his brother

“Nothing. She came here like this.” Dick tried to defend himself

“Can you two just shut the fuck up!?”

“Sorry Y/n.”

“Yeah, sorry, babe. But if you want to talk then……”

“SHUT UP JASON!”

“All right, all right, I’m gonna be quiet from now on…..” he mumbled, looking down, acting like a beaten dog. Normally the rest of the boys would laugh at him for being like this, but at this point even Damian knew better than to mess with the force of nature Y/N became.

There were silence for like five minutes, before Steph and Cass entered the cave, followed by Babs.

“Y/N!” Steph jumped forward and hugged her friend, causing boys to go through a little heart attack “Alfred told us you are here. It’s wonderful. We are going shopping. You need to join us. I saw this cute little outfit that would be just perfect for you. I bet Jay would like you in it and …..” oh, poor Steph did not get to finish

“AGH!” Y/N yelled at the top of her lungs. “I’M DONE! I’M OUT! JUST LEAVE THE FUCK ALONE!” the tears finally started to fall down her face, since she was not able to hold them back anymore “I just can’t…. I can’t …. I’m sorry guys….” Her voice broke and she rushed off the cave blindly, not caring about the gadgets, the scene she was making, the tears or anything else. She felt like she was suffocating when she run upstairs, towards the manor, further away from all the people.

“What…. what just happened?” Babs stuttered “what the hell did you do?” her accusatory gaze landed on each of the boys separately

“I did nothing!” Tim exclaimed “Ask you boyfriend, Oracle!”

“Dick?”

“Oh, come on. Why do you always suspect me? I had nothing to do with it. Jay is supposed to take care of her so….”

“Speaking of you, Jason. Why are you still here?!  Run after her, before she does something stupid!”

“Do you think she can…..?”

“Just go, you dumbass!”

“Oh, yeah, right.” He slowly threw his shock off “Oh, fuck! You’re right! Y/N! Y/N, wait!”

‘Did I say something wrong?” Steph gaze was fixed on the floor, her voice barely above the whisper “I did not mean to…..” Cass just took a step forward and put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

“You didn’t. I bet she just had a bad day or something like that…. She’s been nervous and stressed for a while now.”

“Guys” Babs was already searching through the web “I think I know what might have caused it.”

***

At the same time, Y/N was sitting in her favorite spot on the manor roof, slowly calming down. Legs bend and hugged to her chest, chin resting on the knees, hands hidden in the sleeves of her sweatshirt. She was a bit ashamed of the scene that she caused. Poor Steph was probably blaming herself now. Poor Dick who was verbally attacked by her. Poor Jason who….

“Safe to enter?” …. who was just slowly moving towards her, cautious of every step.

“Sure…” she muttered, not looking at him.

He plumped on the floor next to her, legs crossed, not saying a word, waiting for her to start speaking, But the second she opened her mouth to let it all out her phone chimed. The message she received contained the photos that were made barely a couple hours earlier.

“Well, that was fast…” she muttered rubbing her eyes, irritated from the crying.

“What happened? Who do I shoot?” Jay asked using the opportunity of her distraction and grabbing her hand in his.

“Possibly me.” she smirked “I did some stupid things today.”

“Really? Stupid?” he smirked “I bet no one noticed. You act so normal.”

“You’re an idiot” she cuffed his arm and chuckled which made her hiccup

“Then we match each other, right?”

“Don’t push it, Jaybird.” She warned moving closer and leaned her head on his shoulder, his arm automatically wrapped around her waist pulling her closer shielding her from the wind. It was cold and he did not want her to get sick.

“If I do I give you permission to push me off this roof.” He laughed kissing the top of her head “Tell me what happened. Seriously Y/N. As much as I love you with all that fire we need to put it out before it burns you.”

“It’s better now…..”

“No. Talk.”

“How about I show you?” she reached for her phone and presented the photos to him “you see that?”

“A photo of your work friends?”

“There was a photoshoot at the work today and…..”

“So where are you in this picture?” he frowned taking the phone from her hands and blowing the picture up. “what did you do?” the girl mumbled something inaudibly “Y/N? I can’t hear you. What. Did. You. Do?”

“I hid.”

“What?! Why?!”

“Oh, come on, Jay…..”

“Don’t tell me it’s because of your size, again. We’ve been through it.”

“It’s not about the size. “

“Then what.” he tightened his grip on her and she winced “I’m not letting you go until you confess.”

“I’m not hot, all right? I mean, look at them. They are all exceptional. And I’m wearing a hoodie, torn jeans and sneakers, Jay.”

“So what?”

“So what?  Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious. What is the problem with your clothes?”

“I…..” she hesitated for a while, blinking in surprise “but …..” how was she supposed to put in into words “isn’t that what all the guys want?”

“Meaning?” he narrowed his head. This bastard knew exactly where her words were heading and yet did nothing to make it easier.

“A girl who captures attention? Don’t you want to brag about catching a babe? A chick? I don’t know…. Don’t you wish to have  a lady in the street and a freak in the sheets? I’m not like this.I am totally average. Vanilla. Boring. Ordinary. “

“Baby….”

“Look, I’m fully aware I’m not the person who catches attention, all right? Not… looking like this. Sometimes I even believe your family pities me. And you too. I mean, have you seen the girls that were lining up to talk to Dick and you at the latest gala? Isn’t that what you want?”

“Will you just shut up?” he leaned to her and cut her race of though with the most gentle and delicate kiss that got her melting on the spot “Come here.” He twisted positions slightly, pulling her on his lap, grabbing on her hips while her hands locked on his neck. “Have you lost your mind?”

“Is that a tricky question?”

“Obviously. Let me rephrase it then. You did lose your mind. Do think you are undesirable?”

“I….”

“Do you think I would toss you away because of a girl wearing mini skirt? The girl that I don’t know? Do you have so little faith in me?”

“In men, in general.” She bit on her lip and hissed when Jason pinched her side “Auch!”

“Well you deserved it for having such silly thoughts. You read too much fanfiction.”

“I don’t….” she objected turning red.

“Don’t deny it. I know you do. Look, all those stories? They are highly overdrawn. They make girls believe than guys only want them if they are skinny, flawless and wear nothing.” He shook his head ”I don’t mind lingerie, but that does not mean I don’t love in you in that damn hoodie you mentioned. Or a simple T-shirt. Preferably mine.” He smirked ”Look Y/N, I know you don’t feel comfortable in dresses or anything like that and I don’t mind. You are the hottest to me when you have that spark in your eyes, when your hair are tousled because your mind is racing. I love you in trainers, when you run the streets searching for a new story. I would never, never want you to wear mini or an revealing top if it’s uncomfortable. Did you think you can only capture my attention this way? With thong and lack of bra? That I would fall for an exposed body?”

“I…..” she started but realized something  “Wait. How do you know so much about fanfiction, Jay?” she grinned. Darn, she was so going to use that in the future.

“Did you? Yes or not?” he didn’t even stutter, keeping his cool.

“Yes.”

“Auch!” he gasped “Really?”

“I’m sorry. I just got insecure….”

“I know. And I forgive you. But only because I love you, you silly one. And because I know a lot about insecurities. First handed.” he kissed her nose gently “Now, promise me, this was the first and last time you doubted yourself.”

“I don’t like empty promises.”

“Well then you leave me no choice but to make you….” once again he captured her lips in his, ready to be convincing her for the rest of the day, evening and even the rest of his life if needed.

She was his one and only.   

@pinksirensong

[purposefully-lost]

Bobby kept casting quick, sideways glances at her as he drove. Chris leaned against the passenger door and did her best to just ignore him, her jaw clenched tight and her heart thundering hard in her chest. She was fully aware that she was putting her whole livelihood in the hands of a boy that she barely trusted, this far from home and with only a tenuous connection between them, but she couldn't be overly bothered with caution at this point. It'd been two weeks since she'd taken all of her savings from a few months of working two jobs, plus the cash she'd regrettably taken from her mother's wallet, and struck out west. She'd known it wouldn't carry her very far. She'd just needed far enough.

She'd overheard Bobby talking to Rabbit, once. About the places he'd thought he might move to as soon as he got out of that house. That was all she'd had to go on.

And it was pure, dumb luck that when she'd driven into one of those towns and taken a break at a gas station, she'd looked across the road and seen Bobby's truck. He'd been sitting in a fast food line, and she wasn't taking in any chances with missing him.

Once he'd stopped swearing in shock over the girl that had brute forced her way into his passenger seat, he'd told her that they had a motel room on the other side of town. He'd also added an extra burger and fries to the order once he'd gotten up to the window, without her asking, and she hadn't yet figured out how to thank him.

Bobby glanced at her again. Chris finally looked back at him. "What?"

"Nothing," he said quickly, diverting his eyes back to the road. But then he frowned. "Just.. you were in the same class as Jon, right? Shouldn't you still be in school?"

"I dropped out," she answered. The expression on his face didn't change much, but she saw the resignation and the understanding there-- it wasn't like she was the only one. She wondered if Bobby had actually graduated or not. He and Rabbit had left before he could walk the stage, but it'd been at the tail end of the year. She leaned back in her seat and studied him for a moment. He looked quickly at her again, his frown deepening. It was clear he was uncomfortable, but she wasn't concerned. She didn't know what she could do about that, anyway. It wasn't her fault.

"How'd you get all the way out here?"

She shrugged. "I drove."

"But-"

"I remembered you saying something about wanting to move here. So I figured it was my best bet."

He puffed out his cheeks, then blew the air out again, clearly still trying to come to terms with the fact that she was here. Chris turned her head to look back out of the window, content to leave it there, but then he spoke again. His voice was a little quieter. "Listen, I know you came a long way, but-"

"I came here for Jack."

"I- I know, but.." They pulled into the parking lot of the kind of place that Milly would have a fit if she saw Chris there. She looked over as Bobby put the truck in park and then shifted to look her more fully in the face. "I know he's an your friend and everything, Chris, but this is.. fucking crazy. And he's- Jesus, I don't know how he's gonna handle this." Bobby, as far as Chris remembered, had always sort of looked tired, but there was a new kind of exhaustion to him, now. He looked like he'd aged about five years since the last time she'd seen him. "He's been kind of.. fucked up over what happened. It's gotten better, but-"

"What happened?" She asked, expectant. Bobby shook his head.

"Sure as hell isn't my place. Just- I don't know. Isn't your mom, like, a nice person? If she's looking for you.."

"I left a note."

She could see the dismay enter his eyes. "Oh, god--"

Chris rolled her eyes and shoved at the door to get it open. "Don't worry. No one's gonna think you kidnapped me. I called her yesterday, too." That didn't seem to soothe him, but she didn't care. She stepped out of the truck onto dusty gravel and reached to grab the paper bags of food out of the seat between them before he could. She was coming inside whether he liked it or not. She could hear Bobby groan as he got out of the driver's side and walked around the car to meet her, digging into his pockets for the room key.

"Whatever," he told her, glancing down at her. "If he.. freaks out, or something, don't say I didn't warn you."

He led her towards a room at the corner of the building and knocked twice before he started to unlock the door. "It's me!" He called, and Chris heard movement inside as someone got up off a bed and shut off the volume on a TV.

"Took you long enough!" A voice called back, and the moment the door swung open, there he was. Tossing a remote back onto the bed, Rabbit turned to look back at the door and froze. He looked a little worse for wear, with dark circles under his eyes and his hair in tousled mess, but he was just what she'd been waiting to see. He barely managed to stutter out a shocked syllable of her name before she shoved the bags against Bobby's chest and launched herself towards him. Rabbit caught her with a quiet huff, his arms squeezing tight around her as she buried her face against his neck. She felt one of his hands reach up to slip into her hair, like he couldn't quite believe she was real until he'd proven it. When she pulled back to look up at him, both of their eyes were wet. He glanced from her to Bobby. "What?"

Bobby, sitting the bags down and moving to relock the door, shrugged. "I don't know, man. She's your girlfriend, ask her."

"I-"

She wasn't his girlfriend. But she'd always been close enough, hadn't she? Before Rabbit could form the response, Chris grabbed at the collar of his shirt and tugged him down for a hard, brief kiss. He looked at her with wide brown eyes when they parted, his one working pupil blown so that the both of them were even, for once. Then he broke into a loud, shocked laugh and hugged her close again. "Chris.."

She pressed against his shoulder. "You promised me," she mumbled. "I'm holding you to it." She wasn't even sure what she was referring to, exactly, the summer plans or camping trips or senior year promises. But he seemed to understand. Rabbit nodded against her and squeezed her tight.

"Yeah. Okay," he said softly, and held her there for another long moment. Chris closed her eyes and breathed out. It'd been a long drive and she'd have to call her mom again soon, keep her from racing out here in a panic, but it'd been worth it. She wasn't leaving him again.

[teddy-feathers]

i realize i am very privileged. i realize that even if my family dont "agree" with me being trans they probably would have left me to it to some extent even if i was worried about arguments and judgment.

i mean they could throw me out i suppose but it isn't like my gut reaction its just a fear.

but i was afraid of these things and still am.

and because of this i kept waiting for the right moment to come out to them.

and trump got elected and i was just like i cant wait much longer and hes not going to be able to make that much difference that fast

because while not super great there were things in place that hadn't been before. and to some extent i would have been able to say "right now i can transition and it wont make much legal difference"

now of course things are back tracking hard.

back to being officially crazy or delusional or brainwashed by trends or worse.

and. i still obviously want to move forward.

cant argue that its safe to do so. that things are not getting worse. but i still can physically transition as of right now and....

im scared of course that will go away. and that if it does i will have started for nothing because what little i will have done will partially revert and i will have painted an obvious target on myself without even being able to reap the benefits of even idk like a beard.

like even if my family didn't care if i was trans,they would argue against me starting to transition now because of the possible ramifications.

the thing is. i dont want to wait. waited long enough. i want to do. be. feel. exist. be taken of hold in my own life.

it has gone from not being a thing. to im not special. l to oh its an actual possibility but im not special enough. its not allowed for me. to a possibility. to a delicious day dream. to a wish. to a hope. to a desire.

im not at need yet. but i am not waiting until i want to claw my skin off if thats what it takes.

i have shoved this down inside of me and protected myself from out side criticism while criticizing myself the whole time.

i am. scared. tired. angey. and sick. of how things are going and we're less than a month into this bullshit.

i am not going to give them any legal reason to do anything- though soon it may be just being on t might be enough idk - i will not seek legal transitions. i will not get a diagnosis of dysphoria or what have you so something can be fed to my insurance. hell i probably wont tell work company.

i will just slowly change and when people ask and i dont know them like that i will say i have a health condition. if anyone presses further im working on it with my doctor. thats all they get to know.

thats not something anyone can act on as of yet. a d if just being on t becomes something actionable i will of course revisit my opinions. if they take the ability to take t away i will revisit my options.

but im not going to obey in advance of thier obvious intentions. im not going to just change my mind or how i feel because theyre going "actually fact check this is bullshit" why you lying like that.

i know im not alone, i know there are so many trans people in the world. i know there have been throughout history.

and even if it was proven that sure trans people exist but i am not one of them i would want to try transitioning until i felt for myself that it wasn't what i wanted.

and what harm would it do? oh no ill be modifying my body un nessesarily . itas my body what does it matter.

the health concerns - im willing to assume the risks

ill be stuck as an ugly girl - matter of opinion but im kinda not "taking care of my appearance" anywas, a lot of the changes will revert, and the ones that dont im fairly aware of and am will to accept the risk of having to keep even if i dont end up liking transitioning

the legal or job related ramifications - im not seeking any changes from outside forces right now, im not having it documented, and if going to planned parenthood or taking t becomes reason enough to come for me in the night - or day - i probably have bigger issues and theres too many comments on the internet for me not to probably be dragged away for "reeducation" or "mental help"

if my job fires me because i start growing a beard and i decide its too much of a hassle to mitigate that by shaving regularly (or i just. want a beard) or because my voice gets annoying and then drops. or my boobs disappear later then idk i sue them for looking at me and going "thats an ugly girl" because like. i aint telling them i aint an "ugly girl" and what they suspect aint actionable as it has not changed anything about my job preformance.

also all this shit takes time. theres gonna be people fighting back. theres going to be well actuallys. theres gotta be actual legislation.

socially becoming a target - to some extent it is a free country. to some extent the right to swing your fist ends with the other persons nose. if that changes too much more my having a vigina will work just as much against me socially as me rocking a beard.

i am so tired. i feel like ive been strangling this feeling inside me all my life though i can only prove that i have since 2018. thats what? 7 years? pretty long ass time. ive reflected and consider enough.

im ready to act.

it shouldn't make a difference. i will mitigate the things i know will. i acknowledge that even then it will make a difference.

but this is not up for debate. i wont let it be.

somehow...

im awful at setting boundaries.

but this isnt going away because some assholes have decided its not real. its not going away because it would be safer if it did. its not going away because my family will probably think its stupid and i could just not.

i am getting ahead of the point where i just not cant.

by a slim margin.

this is not a submission for review. this is notification of whats going to happen.

[dailyautophagy]

I will be done so early compared to yesterday

and the day before like this is the benefit of not texting anyone messaging whatever like terms like that fucking matter are you really trying to figure out if I have someone’s phone number and text them or if I messaging them in Another way do I mean there’s a reason people hide themselves and there’s a reason men especially do not tell the people in their real life about the people on their screen. Women don’t seem to have that problem. Women are like oh this is real life somehow can compartmentalize and like I won’t exist, I don’t know wave to be ridden and I’m like not even paddling up to it???? Really trying to miss this wave, bro

That is what I used to call having little fantasies about people fucking pipe Dreams, hello dreams

Sometimes I will say the words and they will not show up sometimes some words will be omitted or it doesn’t really matter. I mean, I’m doing a ramble. I’m allowed. I’m never not allowed sometimes I don’t have anything to say and I kind of feels like I’ve gotten like, I keep doing this just jealous

I don’t think people understand what love is honestly it’s not a feeling

Like when you feel amazing because you’re getting attention from a man like undivided attention, that’s not love attention and perhaps hyper fixation maybe I do think that men are more aware of that fact than women are men wants stability. Men want to feel useful and if being useful requires, too much effort then they’ll be useful somewhere else I guess I don’t really know I’m not a man, but it feels like most men understand that women are crazy and unreliable and therefore do not put too much stock in one and that feels incorrect even because people like my father exist or they did And he was so codependent on my mother my mother had three children, my sister and my father and I don’t know why she did that to herself. She could’ve had any man she wanted actually because they were barely they got married when they were like 26 or 27 and then they didn’t have me until they were 35 like they, enjoyed their time together, so I don’t know why I’m trying to act like they didn’t love each other. They loved each other even though it was my mother had a big heart and felt very bad that my father‘s father had died when he was 13 years old when you lose a parent that you fuck you And I guess maybe that’s why I thought I could put up with Frank because he also lost his mother when he was 13 years old your mother and losing your father I guess because my father was a man and did what needed to be done when it needed to be done like he redid houses he redid he held odd jobs and my mother was a teacher and we were fine economy. He worked until they afford a house. They bought a house and then they had kids because they’re not stupid additional people to put them in but that’s not your house, that is my house now, but I didn’t earn that like I don’t have that drive or motivation or ambition or whatever the fuck it takes to be all the money so that I can buy my own house sort of thing. I don’t think I’m smart enough to honestly I could’ve been an actuary, but I wouldn’t be smart enough because I would feel too much guilt from denying people healthcare or insurance or whatever the fuck I ended up doing like there’s no People like why is an actuary like a lawyer because you’re a scumbag because instead of helping people to make money you’re going on purpose not help people that is literally an actuary job. You’re too much reliability to ensure or is stupid but we need it. I definitely forgot to do something this morning that I need to do now, so

 I got goat milk powder and everybody on TikTok is like hey it tastes like half-and-half and I’m going to be so disappointed when it doesn’t taste like half-and-half, but I honestly took a little swig of milk I want and then I was very disappointed with the milk that I drink so Why did I buy milk? I don’t need to buy milk because I am weaned no weed like not on the tea anymore

Teet

Fucking siri I can’t lol

Sometimes I feel guilty for being happy because the world is such a dark scary shitty place. There are children being trafficked as we speak and people that are politicians and empower know that’s happening and we have declare the state of emergency at all like we care more when there’s a little virus going around, so that awful to think about all the time awful to know about the world mostly to my fucking self because everybody’s out there fucking kids

I am at Buddy for that money thing the entire time he’s been back at my house and then letting me pay for groceries and shit like piss on me and tell me it’s raining I swear to God like if he ask me for anything else I’m going to kill myself. You clean up this mess now since you can’t do anything else I swear to God if I died in that house he would pretend like he didn’t know I was dead and he would just stay there until my sister figured it out and then he would play stupid because that’s the type of person he is and that’s disgusting to me so yeah, that’s what I think about him and oh yeah it wasn’t the horror thing that made me think that really it was the let me exchange selfies with an 18 year old as if that’s a normal thing to do. Let me cultivate a relationship with a child like she sent him a picture of just her lips with a lip ring. He said it was snake bites. I only noticed one side, but, I’m sure he studied that and I’m sure those lips like I do. I’m not retarded, literally female and think that I’m just going to not have a problem with that wrong so wrong just so wrong. I wanna tell the 18 year-old that you were giving a horror money because the 18-year-old will be like well. Why weren’t you giving me that money? Because even I’m like why weren’t you giving me that money even directly to the whore who I have been texting you? She’s fucking upset that she claimed to be her friend and all this shit it’s like dude if he’s willing to betray the girlfriend, he lives with, what makes you think he’s gonna be a good friend to you a whore like what logic or lack there of whatever

My bad for expecting an intelligent deduction or a reasonable deduction or logic from a stripper cam whore and am I not also a cam whore in someway like I might not take money for it and I might only do it when I want to, but it’s on camera right so it kind of counts

Just literal minutes of rambling

Wonder if people can hear me because like my windows is down like I can’t have my window down OK please don’t tell people my job please I don’t need anymore. Emails sent from our district manager to my boss about how I’m bullying people on the Internet.

I can’t believe that happened to me honestly lol like I was not fat shaming anyone I was just pointing out that heart disease and obesity are related

That why you had me blocked because you thought I hated fat people because I kind of do like gluttony is a sin, if you care about that sort of thing 

I only care cause I think my parents would still be alive if they weren’t obese people after having children because they were in shape like they were born in 53 and 54 like they were in their 20s in the 70s they were not hippies all the way, but they looked like it and You know I’m so happy. My father told me the story of doing PCP together because he did not need to share that with me but I love him for that.

He didn’t tell me a lot of things, but I’m glad that I knew about before I learned about them from Barbara because otherwise I’d be like bitch you crazy

It’s not even 1 o’clock yet and I only have like an hour left and I should probably just slow down because what am I gonna fucking do with myself when I get home? I’m already having a spaz and I have something to do with myself so I’m not that crazy, I’m like Junior is Adderall. I’m like meth. I have melted chocolate all over the place please how did this happen? Lol it’s fine. Everything’s fine calm down calm down slow down because I’ll be done too soon

I do have some meat left so that’s good at least I don’t have to just eat mashed potatoes and vegetables tonight and Friday. I should have enough money to go get more weed so that’s good like nothing is bad really it’s just that when you have expectations things seem bad when nothing is bad, if those expectations are not met, you know

 Pretty sure if I make these too long nobody reads them and that is kind of the point because this is for me except for I can also be for you because why would I gate keep my insane thoughts do you wanna know I’m not that crazy, but this is still how crazy I am

When I was like 25 I made a Facebook status that was like I definitely have like six personalities and I’m just trying to make them all good people and that’s still how it goes

[instantartific]

on that neon j 1010 family dynamic thing post tags- I THINK I WOULD GO CRAZY IF THEY WEREN'T ALSO SOLDIERS? I don't read a ton of fic but it's important to me that like. They're family in the way that being immediately willing to die for someone makes you family. 1010 are his """"sons"""" by technicality at best, because he LITERALLY made them to some degree- He has a ""father"" style role because if they need to be taught how to navigate the world in any kind of newfound awareness (if you do this) that's his job, or because he is directly responsible for their behavior by the public-

I dunno all of these things just live in my brain all the time rent free so like. The idea of boiling them down to any kind of nuclear or normal family doesn't even register- He calls them "Troops," and I can even see him in a more casual setting saying "Boys" (it is a boyband), but that dynamic of being soldiers in the same war (literal or metaphorical) and of being a team, or perhaps a powerful unit that functions at maximum capacity at all times because they need to HAVE that kind of potency in their dynamics to perform at 110%- that's so important to me

Listen to me I am going to grab and shake you around a bit (/positive) for a minute here hang on.

Bear with me as I dig up all the things I've said about this so far and this could be significantly more but I am dragging at least this up.

If they became sentient enough to question whether the things they sing about in their songs is something they've ever actually experienced, it makes sense that they'd look back at each other and question if what they have is that kind of "love." And of course, it isn't—they don't share the things they lie about in lyrics to make the fans swoon. And even if they tried, in application, it would feel... different from what they lie about even if the actions are the same. There's something missing in that that they aren't fully grasping and they assume it must be love. They don't love the Captain and they don't love each other because they don't want to seduce the Captain (it'd be violating so many things to even attempt that with someone that isn't their rank in the first place, if we bring the military aspect into this) and it feels... not the same to seduce each other. It doesn't work cleanly. They know there's something missing that they aren't grasping. Maybe they even look for this concept within each other and find there's something but it isn't quite that because all they know is pretend. ... If you asked them, they're certainly not siblings because they can't be, but they're also not lovers because they have something missing.

...

They're not siblings. But they have the concept of a brotherhood with each other and it's complicated but it's human. They became the people that they are now in relation to one another, in each other's gravity, they've been all intertwined since they began to conceive the concept of being unique.

The relationship they all have with their Captain is mutually straightforward—he commands, they obey, and he allows them room to relax and he actually tries to speak and bond with them—but with each other? Not so much.

So, sure. Let's call them... bandmates. Sailors. Soldiers. That's what their occupations are and their relationship to each other on paper, technically.

They may still have enough of the military aspect drilled into them that 'brothers in arms' feels comfortable despite the fact that they aren't at war anymore. They might shorten that to 'brothers,' in the sense they were if they were more of unit than a boyband.

At least that's a lot less difficult for them to say.

#sometimes i like it better if 1010 never call neon 'dad' because he's... he never can be their father. by definition. #he takes care of them but that's out of necessity. they work for him in a different way now but not much has changed. #they feel different for him now than they do the concept of just that man at war. #but even that is complicated.

#they can't call him j. #or neon. that's worse. #but captain is starting to feel too formal.

#where do you go from there?

#the relationship they all have with each other is so much more complicated than that. #they can't be siblings because they've never known what siblings are #and they can't be lovers because they've never known what love is outside of what they write for the fans and they don't do that.

#so. where do they go from here? #what else is there? #calling them family just feels like it isn't enough but I don't have a term for that and neither do they.

—

Continued under cut for space:

About the reason why they still call each other brothers, even if they don't remember anything of their former lives.

Because back then, even if it was programmed into them, they were brothers. They died for each other, they killed for each other, they lived for each other. They would spill blood for blood, trade life for life, if they could.

Now... they're. Different. They don't remember anything from back then, Neon made sure of that, but they still hold each other to that same regard, and it means something now that they're able to feel that bond they all have.

They're brothers now, not because they woke up together, but because they would still die for each other, still live for each other. They just don't cause harm, not anymore.

But they're able to say it to each other and mean it now.

#they arent /family/ they're BROTHERS.

#there's such a big difference in that and it drives me insane

#especially with the dynamics i write between each individual member with one another

#them actually having very close bonds with each other is so important okay

#dont let me get into zim and rin okay they are fucking tragic and i will not stop talking about it

—

Thinking about them naturally being able to form a different-but-similar bond with Neon, that he's their Captain but he also seems to fulfil other roles for them, too, so other titles also apply.

But them having complex relationships with one another is a concept that I love.

They're sailors. They protect each other. They kill for each other. They die for each other. They live for each other, even if they don't have to anymore and even if they're dispensable.

They have a hierarchy. They're all individuals outside of one another. They're all exactly the same. The only thing "unique" is a few colors and hairstyles, and that can change.

But they're also a... a boyband. Like, a BTS-esque boyband. A boyband that sings and dances and cannot stop talking about how sexy they and each other are, apparently.

—

Bonus funny thing that would also no longer be funny if you just assume they are only exactly like family and nothing else:

If they ever do QnA's, the number of questions they'd be asked that are outright laughable. Let alone some of the more questionable letters they might get. Imagine fandom antics but they can just send mail to the idols. Imagine if they're asked questions that make them have to troubleshoot through everything they are and are not allowed to say with each other and with Neon for good measure.

[marijanetunes]

my goal for when i turn 27 is to be so unbelievably strange.

i’ve recently become aware of the crushing amount of shame i’ve started carrying since 2020. it was brought on by a multitude of things— i gained a lot of weight, i lost my job and was out of work for two and a half years, all my friends got married meanwhile ive never dated anyone, and most pertinently i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2022 which made me look back on my past actions and realize just how disastrous it all was. i always knew something was quote unquote wrong with me, but i had also internalized the idea that i was either below the threshold of genuine mental illness or reallly high functioning. and i mean i guess to some levels i was “high functioning”— i never attempted suicide no matter how badly i wanted to, i never spent any time in hospital no matter how much i needed help, and i knew well enough to keep my mouth shut when i was actively psychotic. i also had a drinking problem and a hair trigger temper, i felt everything too deeply and expressed those feelings impulsively, i alternated between demanding bottomless intimacy from my loved ones and shoving them away when it was no longer serving my need for intensity. i never learned how to act so even when i was euthymic i was unstable. when i told my close friends about my diagnosis part of me wanted/expected them yo be surprised but the reaction was just like, “thank god”. and that combined with the fact i was “failing” in so many other areas made me so self conscious and determined to be normal. people who met me post diagnosis have a completely different view of me— honestly the best thing they had to say about me was that i’m “nice” or “agreeable”. i stopped engaging with art because i was so afraid of doing it wrong (whether as a viewer or a participant) or talking too much about it and revealing the fact that i’m crazy. i withdrew into myself and just wanted to remain comfortable, to have people like me.

but heres the thing. when i was unmedicated and insane, people didn’t just like me, they were obsessed with me. my bonds were intimate, i had love at first sight connections, i was Known. i was exposed to the world and i could experience the true joy of that. i wanted to die more often than necessary but when i was having fun, i was having fucking fun.

and thats really scary because like, when you’re living that boldly you embarrass yourself so much. and for the last four, going on five years thought i was already so inherently embarrassing that adding any more would make me completely inhuman. but i now realize i was only living half a life. and whats more, now that i’m not allocatinng so much mental energy to not exploding and dying, i can actually create art!! i’ve never really done that before!! and it does feel very embarrassing to be bad at art when i’m pushing 30!! but i will never create good art if i don’t create bad art. and i want to create, i want to experience, for the love of god i want to live.

mierle ukeles’ manifesto made such an impact on me as well. i need to cultivate my life and death instincts both. i spent too long with no instincts at all. i am going to deep clean my apartment on the long weekend so that i can start on my clay figurines. i am going to tell my best friend i love her and borrow her sewing machine. i am going to fix my budget so i can pay for my guitar lessons. i am going to live like an animal and one day i’ll die like an animal. its embarrassing to pretend i was ever doing anything else.