coldretard

[coldretard]

everyone needs a hug and to stop

[coldretard]

bruh it is just rambles and shit

finally got loaves in the fridge that FEEL CORRECT they’re like pillowy

Like if you imagine what a marshmallow should feel like lol

And goddamnit is it so easy to just make a blob

But finally I have made pillowy dough balls

I’m so tired honestly lmao all week I stayed up past midnight and woke at 6. I don’t know how you people exist sleep deprived. It’s like tripping. If I added caffeine aka force my body into flight mode to feel awake lol no wonder everyone is sick. No wonder everyone eventually gets cancer. DNA damage leads to cancer and mineral deficiencies lead to dna damage and caffeine robs you of minerals if you’re even getting anything mineral equivalent from your bioengineered food products. You don’t have to give a fuck if you don’t want to but don’t be like “omg how did this happen” when you get cancer and shit. I say cancer but so many things pancreas issues gallbladder issues heart disease cholesterol issues yo okay you know our liver makes cholesterol right and our liver is GENUINELY JUST TRYING TO HELP so why is it needing to help is the whole like don’t blame the bandaid for the cut bro dumb as shit anyway cholesterol is used to repair damage to the arterial wall and like what causes damage to THE ARTERIAL WALLS so many fucking things but the main thing no one wants to mention is MAN MADE CHEMICALS fucking plastic and whatever the fuck they did to chicken and wheat is enough to

Gods work suffers because the saints are sick lol

AND GENUINELY EVEN AS AN IDIOT ATHEIST THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

I ate a lot of chocolate and drank 3 fiber sodas and I think I might explode

I need my tax return so I can pay the property real estate taxes and why hasn’t the township sent those papers out yet like ???? Gimmie

That the small taxes you gotta pay when you own a mf house and then late like July they donMORE taxes “SCHOOL real estate taxes” as opposed to “PROPERTY real estate taxes” and the school ones lol they’re why I voted for trump. You want $6k from me in the summer time every summer time guess what I will have to start voting - because fuck them kids lol the fuck are my tax dollars required to educate your cum trophies. Bad enough we’re giving Israel $1000 for every mf citizen over there (and over here? Do ALL Jews get counted in the population of Israel since they all have fucking asylum or whatever the pedophiles run away to there for lol cause we never bring em back we’re just like oh you’re on base we can’t tag you)

I’m high I guess

I better not be pregnant

Valentine’s Day was uneventful but the day after and the day after that were not uneventful and now I feel full in the uterus

Plan B would’ve been a good choice but I didn’t realize I got a squirt before I got it in my mouth

SO NOW WE THOT WE THOUGHT WE WAIT

I haven’t even showered like excuse me why am I a DIRT

the fact that im not even remotely close to a bad woman on the spectrum of women: scary asfuck

I need to relax and repent lol

That’s like why my brain sucks and also doesn’t suck at the same time cause despite the over thinking it usually involves mindfulness and not just mememememmeme thoughts self serving bullshit affirmations or what are the things spirit boards ….dude - mood boards but for things you want - manifesting !? Ummmm a black comedian with a tard child from his tard balls speaks about it and im

Genuinely gonna have to look at his stand up lol and figure this out it

Is

BOHTERING NE

it’s a vision board lol

He don’t say it til like 1m39s but

I’m fucking late for bed lol

I have to SHOWER but the fucking DOUGH

2 in fridge 1 still in bowl

Wanna bake one tomorrowwwwwww

Cream cheese and jelly is underrated

YOU KNOW WHAT

fuck your problems

You DIE at the end why are you not like being preventative and also why aren’t you solving any of the problems you know exist

Like yay one good hobby now the fuck what bitch you can’t just waste flour on a regular basis what is this

It’s cheaper than a pack a day yo suck my clitORis

Why it spelled like that

The toy omg

The toy ♥️

I need no one and nothing ever again

NOT EVEN PORN

“I can’t cum without porn” oh I can now lol oopsie

SORRY BAILEY YOU AINT EVEN SPECIAL LIKE FOR HELPING ME CUM HUST BY TALKINF TO ME I CAN CUM WITH NO NOISES JUST EYES SHUT BRAIN OFF

The drooling

Sorry I know you probably read that and are HURT so hurt like you’ll live though

BUT DID YOU DIE THOUGH

stench and fold THAT ASS

she’s SAMMICH bread sourdough sandwich SANDwich bread why are we involving sand literally who named this shit can we do this over

you know who could vote before women

Black men

And you know who kills so many babies

Black women

Like disproportionally

Just like the crimes get done disproportionately

It’s not okay every one needs a hug and to stop

That’s a good one im keeping it

[coldretard]

reblog to tell your mutual you’re proud of them and it’ll all work out

[coldretard]

reblog to tell your mutual you’re proud of them and it’ll all work out

[coldretard]

reblog to tell your mutual you’re proud of them and it’ll all work out

[coldretard]

we can’t have anything can we

sooo is there a HEnanigans??

[coldretard]

cold retard because sourdough but also me

[coldretard]

this isn’t even the same person lol

collared shirt buttons ALL THE WAY? get away from me

[coldretard]

collared shirt buttons ALL THE WAY? get away from me

[coldretard]

[coldretard]

“the truth will set you free, but first it’ll piss you off”

[coldretard]

god i wish the internet would vanish just so i could watch these losers squirm

[coldretard]

Headless John The Baptist Hitchhiking, C.T. Salazar

[coldretard]

[coldretard]