#like that's it we're done pack it in!
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Daydreaming about quitting art forever 🥰
#I've always kept going because I can't stand the idea of giving up#but man giving up sounds fucking great lately tbh#just to get that expectation off my own shoulders once and for all#like that's it we're done pack it in!#we gave it the old college try and we failed and it's too bad but life goes on!#I'm never gonna be satisfied anyway so why do i torture myself#follow your dreams and hard work pays off but also actually sometimes it doesnt and your dream is unattainable#soooooooo you might as well give up and let go
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death note adaptations peaked in 2015 when these two came out months apart from each other.
#LIKE BOTH IN THE SAME YEAR??? everyone pack it up there's nothing left we're done here#jdrama and musical supremacy in this household#death note#death note drama#death note jdrama#death note musical#light yagami#l lawliet#this isn't exclusive to the japanese musical btw I've seen parts of the korean one and clips from the uk one#nothing has ever and will ever capture the heart of the story like these two I think#the musical is more loyal to the original with the songs delving deeper into the motives and feelings of the characters#especially with characters whose thoughts we didn't get much of like misa and soichiro and even sayu!!!#but the drama's effort to make significant changes while still keeping a firm hold on the core of the original deserves appreciation#the story begins at a different very differently yes but it finds its footing quickly as a unique retelling if you just keep watching#WHAT MORE CAN I SAY I JUST LOVE THESE ADAPTATIONS#what was in the water in 2015
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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me: there's no way i can write even a considerable amount of the taob chapter before the end of the month like i promised personal things have just got to me it's not happening no way
me regardless: *putting in my earphones. looping vogel im kafig. opening the doc*
#VOGEL IM KAFIG BEST WRITING MUSIC BTW!!!!#like yes i KNOW my mates are gonna be here in minimum 2 hours bc it's the last student night of the term and we're all going out#AND there's drama so everyone's a bit buzzed#(someone find analysis on the impacts of drama/gossip on the local female pack bc it's SO funny it's like we reach a higher state of being)#BUT STILL I FEEL I CAN STILL GET AT LEAST A GOOD PORTION DONE#AND IF I GET ENOUGH DONE I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FINISH IT TOMORROW WHEN I GET HOME#like i already (only) have 3k words written so it's not like im starting from scratch#hmmmm. we shall see#taob updates
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okay, so this is gonna be my ONLY post to make about this bc i wasnt planning on talking about anything in regards to shit that happened in privacy, but it's being blasted publicly and my friends are getting involved so i'm just gonna make this my one and only PSA because this is irritating with what i'm learning.
if people have a problem with me, PLEASE talk to me. do not go to my friends on anon to twist words up about me. i'm learning that multiple friends and mutuals of mine are getting asks about this when they have no part in this and that shouldn't be happening to begin with. so i want to state this for anybody who has gotten shit in their inbox.
as for the situation that's happening on the other side of Tumblr right now, i have had zero part in it and i intend to keep it that way. it's not my business. for anyone who's familiar with the "drama" being talked about is being stirred by one person and i have expressed in privacy that i was not comfortable with how any of this is being handled nor did i think it was right. i don't care about the situation itself, but the anger and venomous reactions to talking about it is what concerned me. it was not about the person nor was it about the crimes and victims, i was not okay with the name-dropping and stirring of drama about someone.
i'm not taking sides nor do i plan on "stating my case" or anything like that. i'm not involved, and it's not my place to talk. it's a situation that does not involve me and should not involve anyone else because of how much it's been blown out of proportion. so please do not group my friends and mutuals together as them automatically taking sides; guilt by association is a shitty thing to assume and is not a correct way to go with situations like this.
i don't know why my name is being pulled into this mess when i've asked before to NOT be dragged, and i apologize to any mutuals who have had the displeasure of seeing this constantly being posted, but i have to due to friends getting asks about me already (for some fucking reason). if you have gotten asks and want to ask what it's about, i will GLADLY tell you in honesty and with what i've said. i will gladly talk shit out one on one and share screenshots of what i have said.
right now, my main focus is writing and doing threads here. it will NEVER be about drama nor will i post about it. this is the only time i will post because it is now my problem to address as it is involving multiple friends of mine getting harassing anonymous users spreading rumors. i don't condone that kind of behavior and i will speak up if it affects ME or FRIENDS of mine.
i will not name drop or talk about this further, but if you wish to know more, PLEASE come talk to me. if you receive anon asks accusing you of shit, i apologize on their behalf for assuming shit about you as it is not deserving to lump people together like that. but please please please talk to me if something comes up and you have a problem with me or with situations going on. thank you.
#negative tw#drama tw#// *i apologize for anyone else that has gotten asks from anons or anyone in particular#// *if they were about me or friends of mine#// *i want to reiterate by saying i DID NOT want to be dragged. ive done my part to stay away from being involved but shit has happened#// *and my trust has been broken with people#// *so this will be the only thing ill say on this and thats it. i gotta head back to packing but#// *i appreciate everyone's patience with this because??? its gotten so bad???#// *im here to write but if we're on friendship terms i WILL talk to you if something bugs me#// *i'm having rumors dropped around folks like dead flies and im not sure of who#// *and what is sending them but i just wanted to address this in case ANYONE has gotten shit about me#// *or from close contacts of mine#// *again i apologize greatly for anyone whos been getting pulled into this#// *its something that shouldntve been as big as it was to begin with#🐺 * 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 : out of character#🐺 * 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 : public service announcement
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3 doodoo
#the brotherhood#quick doodle#ill do a more detailed one when im done packing for a trip:-)#thjs is like very inaccurate to how we look this is just like.#how we view three#sometimes i genuinely forget that we're the person behind three because we've been seeing them as like a separate entity recently???#like i know we're the person behind the blog obviously i dont forget THAT but a lot of the time its like#they just feel like a completely separate person LOL#muppetsona#???#not rlly tho#🪪
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i am so mother
#ive been babysitting my nephew since dinner yesterday n im cracked at cosplaying a Maternal Carer#he is napping; the house is (mostly) clean like all his toys are packed away n the dishes are done i didnt have time to vacuum before his#nap so that'll get done later#and its 11:45am!!!!!! we're productive today#「mercury speaks」
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Turned in my 20 page paper with 26 seconds to spare -_- now I just have my botany final tomorrow and my writing portfolio due on Friday
#k talks#not too worried about botany because so long as I get 74 on the exam I keep my 95 in the class#and like. the revisions to the portfolio are more time-consuming than anything else really I think?#ugh. but now that this paper is done my brain thinks we're finished. It's over! except it's not. AND I have to pack
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I cannot believe it is only 1230 in the afternoon. I feel like I've been busting my ass all day
#i feel GOOD about what ive gotten done to be clear#updated my resume and applied to the job at the better center#helped get all 3 dogs washed#helped with several loads of laundry and we arent done#L helped me pick out and clean several of her baby toys and board books#and we loaded up those and her old pack n play and a box of unused diapers and wipes#to take to help my fellow quitters babysit some 2 and unders#oh and L's stroller#we're gonna have a childcare party lol#but wow. it feels like at least 1630. how is bedtime still so far away
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Dream’s dnf fanart likes
September 11th
Dream looking down at where a group of fanartists (as dream blobs) are sitting on the table, telling them to 'pack it up skittle squad'. Some of the blob!artists are sad, one is frowning up at Dream, all have pieces of blue and green fanart in front of them
Dream sitting, one hand over his face, the other holding his phone
Dream gesturing to his phone, where he is scrolling and liking fanart, a long written 'reasoning' for liking so much dnf art behind him
Dream holding a blob!artist in one hand, telling them to chill with the dnf art
#dreamnotfound#dnf#dreamnotfound fanart#Dream__Fanart#twitter#alright pack it up dnfers we're done apparently#he tells us to make more 'non dnf' art like he hasn't been the one liking copious amounts of dnf art every other day for the past few weeks#boy you have done this to yourself#also it amuses me that there are many other artists out there that make art for various other ships#but no it's the dnf art that's 'making him look gay' lmao#as always I do encourage you all to check out the rest of the art he liked
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Gotta pack but all I want to do is render WHYYYY
But here's a pic of some art I bought for the new house ahhhhhh
as tax or whatever lmao, I hope to be back to rendering soonish! (might actually work on something tonight when I don't have any energy left to pack 👀)
#nonsims#salem rambles#I keep getting up and sitting back down#We start moving Friday but with painting and getting some repairs done we won't actually be in until maybe a week later#maybe more than a week#so I hesitate to pack anything important#but I want to be there NOW lmao#our new silverware came in today#it looks like bones#because ofc it does#this is me we're talking about#I cannot WAIT to decorate this space#I am FROTHY
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I'd be 1000x less stressed about packing up for Monday's move if my father hadn't said 1 (one) stupid thing thing to me three days ago
#Eli Speaks#he said im packing too much#bruh ive thrown out prob half my shit#meanwhile he's got like 10 boxes#my dude tf am i supposed to do???#it increasingly is feeling like he truly doesnt want me there#like i dont wanna be going go fl either but this is where we're at so stop reminding me you hadnt planned for me to be there#even tho it was always a good possibility#im just#really stressed yall#im like 80% done packing#but this last little bit is agonizing
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Urrrrrrrrrrg.
#love my brother to bits. really. but i'm really fucking hurt he wants to 'punish' me for HIS poor planning.#we're supposed to take a train later today. and his suitcase isn't done yet. we had plans with friends today before the train and now he#wants ME to stay home and bring him his stuff later while i just. dont see people i guess. because how dare I want to spend time with#people i like uh.#like idk maybe he should've packed earlier instead of trying to put his poor planning on me. i shouldnt be the one that has to deal with the#consequences of his own actions. especially a day where i'm already not in the best shape.#i'm just so fucking tired because i know he's gonna hold it against me in the future#maybe my emotions are more extremes because i just got my period but idk. i'm tired. and angry.
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i see you are a fear and hunger fan. Injecting my brainwaves onto you
ouuugghhh these branwaves make me want pretzel sticks.....
#snap chats#UGH FINALLY DONE MOVING EVERYTHING IN time to munch on these sticks...#should i post a pic of where i have my tv and consoles set up it makes me giggle#the feng shui of this room is ACTUALLY so much better than my last room im so happy#the last room i had was so. Why Would You Put These Here but this one is about as perfect as can be#it probably helps that. i actually had time to pack and i wasnt just scrambling to grab what i needed LMAO BUT YK#oh but yeah. yeah i like fear and hunger:] if i needed to make the reminder :]#i think caharas my fave but i like the funger 1 cast a lot near equally. for whatever reason.#theyre just simple chaps- tho funger 2 DEF has a lot of great charas..... ougghgh....#ough i said id work once i was all done but im so tired..#and we're supposed to have a first-day meeting tomorrow night and uuuUGHH#i still want to stream tomorrow so hopefully im not like. DEAD by the time i get to that#anyway . im gona see if i can force myself to doodle something just so ican wake myself up then its grind time#BYYE#ps should i get actual food. i could make onigiri or pasta but Im Tired and i prob shouldnt exclusively eat pretzel sticks#WAIT I HAVE GRAPES YAAAAAY YIPEEEEE#ok bye
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Mum is a 'power through a task because it's over with' person and I am a 'give up when you can't do it anymore and finish later' person
So when she's helping me move it gets precarious
#vent post#like i warned her a few times that i was done for the day and couldn't physically or mentally do it anymore#but she didn't pay attention#because 'you just keep putting one foot forward' is her mentality#but i can't do that anymore cos i used it all up in academia when i burned out and never fully got back#so eventually I fully had a Moment™ where i was snappy and then crying and then defeated#and she got huffy with me and just finished her tasks then left#which made me feel bad#which made me worse which started spiralling because i was getting more upset that i had upset her by being upset#we're (i think) fine now but i still feel awful about the whole thing#cos she was only trying to help and encourage me#and i just couldn't do it#also I'm over stressed from the packing and moving while working 40hrs a week the last month#and everything is new here and im very anxious about a new start and a phd#and nothing is organised thhe way i like anymore#and today i didn't eat much because we were so busy#basically I'm a shit show atm
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hrlfnsdfcndsbl I don't want to go to work today..... "enjoy your quiet week" they said on christmas eve, sike, it's been really fucking busy ever since and the store's a complete mess and we're out of everything and there's no time to restock or do dishes or even have a fucking drink of water............. I stayed back half an hour on boxing day because we were getting overrun during shift handover, came in an hour early on tuesday to cover a sick teammate, lost my fucking day off and had to work the evening shift last night because of another sick teammate (in the 3 customer-facing hours I had I think I got a combined total of <5 minutes to do anything except serve a literally endless stream of people), back in again tonight with a worse team on and then again tomorrow morning, meanwhile the rest of out staff have all gotten to have at least one day off in all of this and I'm the only dumbass stuck working it all... and then I have one day of rest on sunday and then back in again new years' day and the next...
#i'm so tired#I woke up at 7am yesterday to get to the shops for some flowers for mum and then got home at 11pm after work#have barely gotten to eat anything in all of this#I'm about to go apeshit if any customer starts acting up again today I swear... some real fuckos this past week and I'm done with it#we're not allowed to stop drinks early but we had no packup done and had to stop taking orders 20mins before close last night#and of course we had like five people getting really angry that they can't have their fucking late-night lrg mocha almond 90 degrees or w/e#we ran out of chocolate twice with tons of drinks and no time to make more so we had to stop service midway twice anyway#I coulnd't even wash a single milkshake jug without being accosted by another customer as soon as I turned to the sink#I quite literally got nothing done except serve people endlessly for 3 hours straight without a break... I won't be surprised if I lose my-#-voice after having to shout over the sound of blenders and machinery and a packed store for five days in a row#fuck this honestly#I said I wouldn't do it again this year and once again I find myself stuck doing it anyway... nobody gives a damn if they're not the ones-#-suffering to work it#rant#kate being trash
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