#I keep getting up and sitting back down | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

salemssimblr · 8 months ago

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Gotta pack but all I want to do is render WHYYYY

But here's a pic of some art I bought for the new house ahhhhhh

as tax or whatever lmao, I hope to be back to rendering soonish! (might actually work on something tonight when I don't have any energy left to pack 👀)

#nonsims #salem rambles #I keep getting up and sitting back down #We start moving Friday but with painting and getting some repairs done we won't actually be in until maybe a week later #maybe more than a week #so I hesitate to pack anything important #but I want to be there NOW lmao #our new silverware came in today #it looks like bones #because ofc it does #this is me we're talking about #I cannot WAIT to decorate this space #I am FROTHY

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starry-bi-sky · 13 days ago

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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

#svsss #luo binghe #svsss au #scum villain #scum villian self saving system #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #disciple shen yuan #lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops #im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either #had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him #when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi #hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th #sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his #back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's #face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is #INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and #the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of #his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so #unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face #and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc #he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]

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spacedlexi · 10 months ago

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"sounds nice... having a partner"

#the walking dead game #twdg #violentine #clementine twdg #violet twdg #MAANN when clem says this in s3 JUST WAIT BBY #people who say clemvi has no basis like ep2 isnt just them working as a team for 2 and a half hours regardless of player choice #like be fr #clem telling louis that violet patching up the back wall is ok because she needed something to keep herself busy. married behavior #vi asking clem to help check in on everyone while she deals with the wall. their shared smile when she comes back outside :)#and then they sit in the leadership spot together overlooking the yard and everything theyve planned together coming to fruition :)#sorry i just think their romance set up in eps 1 and 2 is obvious as FUCK and im tired of (Some) people pretending it isnt #'i havent seen her warm up to someone in a long time' brody literally tells clem that vi seems to like her after its been 24 hours #after shes been a block of ice for a whole year. and clem just melted those walls down immediately while they fought walkers together #violet is so devoted to clem post ep1 its embarrassing for her #'i saw she had you pinned and i- shit i got So crazy...' sorry if you dont think shes in love with clem idk what to tell you #'i'll tear that boat apart before we leave without you' i know you would girlie!!!#the animators went CRAAZAYAYAYAY the way they look at each other... their little smiles at each other....even before the belltower #the way clem looks at her while they dance.... the way she puts her head down on her shoulder so contentedly....#and then she keeps her head on violets shoulder as she pulls away so clems chin gets dragged with it like she doesnt want to let go #'so you never forget that night' 'i never will' they are DISGUSTINGLY in love with each other it makes me physically ill #its 2024 and im still hearing 'i just didnt see it :/'. lazerbeams you #spaced art 2024

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casualavocados · 3 months ago

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Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Behind the scenes of Ep. 12

Bonus (x)

#kiseki: dear to me #kisekiedit #kdtm #kiseki dear to me #ai di x chen yi #chen yi x ai di #nat chen #chen bowen #louis chiang #chiang tien #jiang dian #userspring #uservid #userspicy #userrain #userjjessi #pdribs #*cajedit #*gif #if anyone's got a better quality link to the bonus gifs hmu & i will update this Immediately but regardless i Needed to look at that. more.#theyre simultaneously so gentle and so needy. there is...so much going on.#like they and this scene was This Good in the show but theres so much MORE. THEY SHOULD HAVE KEPT IN THE MORE. the little details-#like the 4th gif thats directly after the shots we DID get of ai di hugging chen yi and kissing his neck...#the way chen yi pulls him gently back to kiss him again. & the way ai di arched into that and put his arm around chen yi's shoulders.#the alternating between quick and deeper kisses. PHEW. WHEW. theyve ruined other shows for me fr and im grateful #and i love HANDS. i love chen yi's hand on the back of ai di's neck and his other hand going up and down ai di's back #he's barely applying pressure but he needs ai di as close as possible. & i love ai di cradling chen yi's jaw & tugging on his shoulders...#and the way they sit up together in the bonus. hands in hair & the gentle squeezes #chen yi's knee up in the bg while ai di straddles one leg before chen yi moves them so that ai di is sitting fully in his lap #how ai di only lets go of chen yi's neck when he needs to push himself up & chen yi keeps him balanced without breaking the kiss. okay!!!!

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ineed-to-sleep · 4 months ago

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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it

#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL #AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP #yep that was meee :3 #man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did #but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying #I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious #I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep #then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh #I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking #so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital #luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point #so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like #I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do #and I was scared it might make things worse #but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack #luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone #and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there #I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city #bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there #so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by #I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before #I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches #so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die #cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome #but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug #but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication #now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf #sleep.txt

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theinfinitedivides · 5 months ago

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'now you. you're different. you fight like something's trying to get out of you.' read for filth?????????? possibly read for filth by the mark?????????? Eliot?????????

#tv: leverage #leverage #leverage s2 #the tap out job #the tap-out job #local gay watches Leverage (or their first American series in f*cking years and gets a shiny new OT3 to show for it).txt #i tapped out (pun not intended) after that sorry i had to get up and walk around quietly in the dark so no one hears me and sit back #down with my sh*tty backup computer since now my tablet keeps going in and out of maintanence and hey. who gave him the right #to say that. who told him that was even remotely ok to consider i'm not normal about this

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possamble · 5 months ago

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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way

#a little creature #sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like #is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink #anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much #the most important women in his life bar none #marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just #rose up and burst again #its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad #and she just doesnt know what to do with herself #the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen #but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV #the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be #edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated #marcille's denial of her feelings so far #bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out #in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now #bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin #so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story #it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where #she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part #and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story #and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle #so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago

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I'm surprised you haven't posted any Welcome home stuff recently! Honestly kinda makes me sad since I love your WH art and stuff

yea y'all are gonna have to be Patient w/ me bc

a) i have like. a week left to pack all of my stuff before i need to shove everything into a uhaul and leave, so its crunch time! leaving little to no energy/interest in anything else

b) to be honest my mental health is the worst its been in years - which is fine, its whatever, i can deal. it's not as bad as it could be and im handling it! like a champ, even! but also its leaving little to no energy/interest in anything else

c) had a minor crisis over my art and how i interact w/ WH, and i realized im not scribbling enough of what I want. ive mostly been trying to please people and do as asked and thats! not good! so i want to temper expectation & reassert that im Not a WH art blog - its just a hyperfixation / something i love rn. i draw what i enjoy & what i want in the moment.

#i picked up my tablet last night and all of my motivation died on the spot #so im just. eh whatever ill get back into the swing of things eventually #but yeah im spending my time packing & keeping myself afloat! not much room for other things at present!#rambles from the bog #but yeah i was starting to feel like a commodity of sorts?#like the majority of asks are just some form of 'can you draw this' 'draw this' 'id love it if youd draw this'#which is. fine. im an art blog! thats what i do!#but its also like hey. im just some guy doodling what they enjoy. im not a machine churning out content for consumption #& it gets to the point where there's so much expectation and obligation and 'demand'-#when do i ever sit down and truly indulge in what i want?#like the monster scribble i posted the other day! it made me so happy! i love monsters and Beasts!#when do i ever allow myself to draw them?#rarely bc i feel like people Expect puppets from me. and thats not a great feeling!#i love puppets i love wh and everything but i would like to enjoy it w/o pressure yk yk....#& for a second there i Was feeling the pressure and scribbling puppets was starting to feel like a chore #something i Needed to do to please people #so! im focusing on real life & taking a break from creation & keeping my mindset away from 'jump into traffic' thankyew <3 #theres just too much going on right now #in my head And outside of it.#so ill stick to packing & binging psych & i'll lovingly place everything else on the backburner

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introspectivememories · 4 months ago

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I FORGOT I EVEN SENT THAT ASK AND YOUR RESPONSE HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK OHMSYGODDFJDJ

I seriously love your writing so much you always put a heap of emotion into it 😭😭

also adore the idea of TIM being the one who's obsessed with bear and going to such lengths just to keep seeing him, I tend to prefer happy endings so I like to think they work it out after a while but like also the angst is amazing

god the amount of yearning in this au makes me so mmmpfhhhf

god im just so sorry that it took me soo long to reply!!! you sent just as i was taking my break from tumblr and other social media :(((

i remember reading it and thinking to myself "god if i had the timbern brainworms, i could write smth for this" but then recently they've been coming back and i was a church bored out of my mind when i was like "hmmm maybe i should respond?"

and ohhh my god, when i first got it, i immediately thought about how toxic it could get and like, personally, i feel like i can't write complicated characters? if that makes sense? to me, im not very good at writing multi-dimensional characters. which to be fair, i never set out to become like a pulitzer prize winning author. i just do this for fun haha.

and like i knew that my answer to your ask was always gonna be toxic timbern but i didn't know if i could write it? ig??? bc like tim is a good person. he is!!! he just wants bear so badly. and it's past the initial physical attraction now.

he and bear are all grown up. he likes bear's wit and humor, well the wit and humor he gets to hear when bear doesn't know he's around. but bear wont let him in!!!! bear wont open himself up and tim's apologized!!!! he did!!! he doesn't even know what he did and he still apologized!!!!! and it changed nothing. bear doesn't talk to him or look at him or anything. nothing but polite professionalism.

and then one day, he sees bear on his balcony as he's swinging through the streets of gotham. and bear isn't doing anything special, he's just sitting there in sweats and no shirt and the moonlight hits his pecs just right and his shoulders are so broad and-

well he cant be blamed for stopping to take a peek, right? and maybe when he has has time he swings by more and more. just watching for longer and longer, until one day bear catches him. and as they stare at each other from opposite sides of the street, tim thinks this is it. the cold glances and frosty words are going to come back. bear's never gonna just sit on his balcony again. he's lost this too. but then-

oh.

bear sends him a hesitant wave and tim raises a trembling hand to wave back. and bear- well bear's mouth splits into a smile brilliant enough to rival the sun. beautiful like the sunrise. the promise of a new beginning. if he closes his eyes, tim thinks he can feel the sunlight's warm rays on him.

hes' hooked after that. he comes around again and again. one day bear lets him on the balcony. weeks later, bear's hugging him. weeks after that, tim's in bear's lap. and he knows it's not right. that bear thinks he's someone else. that bear doesnt want anything to do with him but how is he supposed to let this go? how is he supposed disentangle himself from bear's arms?

so he lies and he lies and he prays to any and every god he can think of, that he'll get to keep this. plus he's not really lying to bear, he's just... not talking about it! if bear asks, he'll tell him point blank. he swears it. but that's a problem for another day. things are looking up! bear said more than 5 sentences to him the other day and yesterday? he even got a small smile. it'll all work out. he'll be fine.

#i have to stop answering asks. it always turns into word vomit #and like tim knows bear is never going to ask. bear would never ask robin to compromise his identity like that #so it is lying by omission. kind of. he's taking advantage of bear. love under false pretenses? i feel like this is textbook smth #i just dont know what #and i keep thinking of after it all falls apart and tim stupidly goes to visit bear on his balcony #and bear is sitting there crying. tears streaming down his face as he sniffles. and it's ugly and there's snot and bear's biting his lip #to try and stifle any noise he might make and tim's frozen on the fire escape of the opposite building and bear looks up #and even now he's still the prettiest thing tim's ever seen. a tear rolls down his face the moonlight glints off it #bear's gorgeous and tim did that. tim made him cry like that. tim's the one who broke his heart. who took his trust and twisted it beyond #recognition. and they stare at each other for a few moments before bear's face shutters close. hastily wiping his tears away #bear steps back inside and locks the door. there's nothing left for him out there anyway.#also me saying that stuff about my writing isn't me needing reassurance or anything. it's just my opnion of my writing abilities #as of right now. so like dont think you have to reassure me or anything.#how did this get so long???? this was just supposed to be me talking about my thought process to the previous ask #and then it turned into this #as always nothing in the veil!au is set in stone. not even this. please do whatever you want with the au!!!!#timbern #timber #tim drake #bernard dowd #veil!au #asks #introspective.txt

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coquelicoq · 5 months ago

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was telling a friend about the double today and got to the part where jiang li stops xue fangfei from killing herself by saying she has to live because she can't get revenge if she's dead. and my friend was like wait what french novel does this remind me of? and i was like babe. it reminds you of the count of monte cristo. the double is better though.

#SOURCE: I SPENT THREE MONTHS OF MY LIFE READING THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO TO MYSELF OUT LOUD #<-thing i never shut up about #no but i had such a great time reading the count of monte cristo. the double is better though 😇#i mean really they can't be compared and cmc is better at many things but i am currently watching and obsessed with the double #so that is what is most important to me at this moment in time lol #anyway i WILL put this in the cmc tag because i do think people who like cmc may like the double #it's a chinese drama airing currently and available with english subs on viki and youku <3 #may i also suggest to cmc fans. nirvana in fire. which is another chinese drama available on viki. and one of the greatest shows of our age #the double #the count of monte cristo #my posts #anyway we took a beach day trip AND I GOT FARMSTAND STRAWBERRIES!!! the most important thing about summer day trips #actually my friend got them for me because. i couldn't walk properly lol #we got rained on and then i made the mistake of sitting down to eat my lunch. which caused me to lose much of my range of motion #in my leg muscles. because in my old age if i get cold and stop walking my hips and quads stop working <3 i love having a physical form <3 #she wanted to go to another seaside town afterward and i was like once i get in that car i am not going to be able to get back out #so we are in it for keeps until we get to my building babe

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starry-bi-sky · 19 days ago

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*stares at disciple SQQ falling into the abyss au*

oh you are so "SY-is-SJ" coded. You are so "fell into the abyss and suddenly remembered that oh i've been Shen Jiu this whole time, not just Shen Yuan. we are one and the same". you are so 'crumbling under the weight of the system and being in the abyss and the despair of never really being free and having suffered in both lives' built. you are so 'scrambling to come to terms with your existence and battling with which life is really yours, only to realize that they both are'. You are primed for going off the rails.

I'm so normal about this guys. i promise.