#like okay king give us everything on a fucking tuesday for no reason at all

[handsomegentlebutch]

Do any of u dykes ever see a cis man and wish you looked like him but in Distinctly Dyke Way?

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt: Dead on main. No trick only treat.

~~Сhildhood friends and deals~~

The Justice League has to summon a ghost from another dimension to address the threat. They don’t know what price the Ghost King will take but there’s little time to bargain. Another spirit threatening them has already seized all the computers on their base. John doesn’t know what else to offer. A summoned ghost starts to look bored. Gold, jewelry? A favor from a member of the League? Like the Ruler of All Dead needs it. No one dares to make another offer, and the King is in no hurry to set out his demands. Maybe try to pull off a soul sale scam?

Suddenly, Red Hood breaks into the hall, walks up to Phantom and shakes his shoulder vigorously. Red Hood: You, get Technus out of here right now. I need access to the files and fast. Phantom: That’s rude, dude. Where did you grow up? in the cave? No "hello, no how are you, Danny", really? Red Hood: I’ll pay the usual price. Phantom: Deal.

What is the price? John sees Batman and gets in his way. The usual price, his guy said. Means Jay was already out of the deal alive and well. This hyperprotective bat would only piss off the ruler if he interfered.

The King quickly deals with his subordinate using a thermos and remains to watch working Hood. Red Hood: What do you want? I’m busy. Danny: You and I have a contract~ Red Hood: All right, all right. Jay throws M&Ms right in the face of the ghost. But king doesn’t look angry. He opens the package and starts sorting the candies by color. Phantom quickly eats up all the green ones and passes the red ones to Hood. Jason takes them without any questions.

Strange. John has never seen a summoned creature share its reward with a human. And the son of a bat looks too comfortable with it. Wait, since when do super-powered beings think that candy is a decent wage?John makes one of the most likely deductions using his experience. Constantine: Batsy, how long has your son been sleeping with the King of Ghosts? Batman: He…what?!

~~~~~~~

Dick *knocking at the door*: Little Wing, you hate ectoplasm and everything what is neon green, so why? He’s dangerous! Jason who turned on the music to not listen to his crazy family: ~He’s poison but tasty~

Dick: NoOOoo

~~~~~~

Jason: And now everyone thinks that I sold my virginity to you for a bargain or something, because interdimensional creatures like you aren’t supposed to help for nothing. Like you’re playing favorites. I’m gonna fucking kill John. Danny: Well, I wouldn’t say no to that. Jason: What? Danny: I mean, to k-kill John, yeah. How dare he.. Jason: Omg, you’re still so terrible liar, Fenton.

Danny: Sorry :(

Jason: No. Say it again.

~~~~Twelve years ago~~~~ Maddie wasn’t thrilled to learn that Danny was trying to make friends with Todd’s son. Their neighbor was terrible. And his son was definitely a street rat and probably a juvenile delinquent. Maddie: Danny, honey, there’s got to be a reason this boy is talking to you. Even kids from the crime alley are always looking for a bargain they can make or a fool they can fool. Danny: But Jason is so cool! He knows so much about books and alleys and.. Maddie: But you don’t want to be a fool, do you? Danny: Okay, Mom, I get it.

So, if Danny wants a cool friend, he’s got to offer a bargain.

He didn’t have a lot of pocket money for every month but Jason needed it more anyway. And his lunch that Jack was picking for him was big enough for two and only bitten on Tuesdays. Nice. Jason: Do I understand correctly? You will pay me and give me food, and I, what? Protect you from bullies? Danny: No! I’m not weak, I don’t need to be protected. Just..maybe we could sit together at lunch and walk each other home sometimes? Jason: Nay Danny: But why? You want something else? Jason: Money’s fine but your homemade food is…strange. Danny: I can bring sweets if you want. Jason: Deal. 3 pop tarts for a joint lunch, a party size bag of M&Ms if you waste my time out of school.

~~~~

Sometimes they share sweets when they hang out but more often Jayson takes them home to save in case his parents have money problems. Sweets have a long shelf life stored and he may not be afraid to poison himself. Over time, candy becomes their currency and a secret language for all occasions. Need help without unnecessary questions? M&Ms. Problems with learning? Skittles. The question is about family? Snickers. There will be a serious conversation? Pop Tarts.

Jason: One snickers and a pack of gum. Danny: Yeah, Jason? What do you want? Jason: My mom wants to meet my friend. Come to lunch on Sunday. Danny: Okay, you managed to pay for my expensive services. Jason:…and you just lost the gum from the deal.

~~~~~~

Jason threw a package at Danny: Three pop tarts. We need to talk. Danny: All right? Jason: Why are you avoiding me all week?! Danny: Well, it’s just..you’re Wayne now. Jason. Still Todd. And what about that? Danny: You can hang out with the cooler guys now, I didn’t want to embarrass you. Jason: Bullshit! I’m still the street rat, and you’re trying to avoid our contract. me. And I don’t even need money from you anymore. What the hell? I thought you are my friend. Danny: And I am!

~~~~~~

Robin: What’s a schoolboy doing in an alley at night? Danny: Um, I…nothing? Don’t tell my parents, Mr. Robin sir. Robin: It will cost you so many Chunky Bars, you have no idea. Danny:...Jason? Jason: N-no. Danny: Damn yes. What are you doing in green shorts on the street at night?! Jason: Cosplay. Danny: Oh yeah? Then I’m just your hallucination. Don’t hesitate to ghost me. I’m going home, Disgrace In Pixie Boots, bye. Jason: fu%&c$#u

[blkgojo]

Game On | Chapter 1

Valkyrie x Reader x Carol Danvers

In which, drunk!you thinks sending nudes to the King of Asgard and the most powerful Avenger... is a good idea.

Warnings: None

Here's the thing. Sending Valkyrie your nudes was an accident. Legally speaking, the nudes were meant for Carol. If you wanted to get even more technical, you weren't even supposed to text either one of them unless there was an emergency. You hadn't realized it at first. You curled up next to your cat, practically smug with your boldness. What better way to show you're available, you thought. You had checked your phone again to revel in it only to see the photo had not only been sent to Carol. It was there, right under Valkyrie's name. Wish you were here x.

You were well and truly fucked.

Working as a S.W.O.R.D agent meant few privileges. One of those privileges you had abused. Greatly. You had sent lewd photos to not only an Avenger, but the King of Asgard. Strong 10000 year old alcohol be damned, Fury wouldn't accept that as an excuse.

"You gonna tell me what's up or we just gonna sit here?" Darcy asked. Your roommate munched absentmindedly on a piece of chocolate. She was blessed enough to not have drank the ale. The buzz of it still causing your world to sway even as you began to sober up.

"I sent nudes to someone,” you whined.

She smiled. Patted your thigh. “That's okay, Y/N. We all send nudes sometimes."

“No you don’t get it. I sent them to the Asgardian king.”

“Thor has a phone?”

“No. Valkyrie.”

You can see she's trying her best not to laugh.

“It’s not funny.”

“You’re gonna start an intergalactic war.”

“Fuck off.”

“Fury’s gonna be pissed.”

“Don’t tell him!” Your words dissolved into drunken hiccups. You sloppily tried to take another sip of the ale, but Darcy snatched it. You frowned. “Do you… do you think she read it?”

“She doesn’t have read receipts? An IPhone?”

“No, I think she has an Android.”

Darcy  quietly tittered, mulling the information over. “Who did you even mean to send nudes to?”

"Don't freak out.”

“Y/N.”

“Say you won’t freak out.”

“Just tell me!”

“Darcy!”

“Spit it out!”

“Captain Marvel,” you hesitantly answered. 

Darcy shrugged. “Well, at least you didn’t send it to her, too.”

“No I did.”

One.

Two.

She laughed. "I'm sorry," she said between breathes. "I'm sorry. This is just... you're fucked."

To her credit, she tried to stop laughing. It doesn't work, but she tried. A few minutes past before she finally can speak again - tears having long since stained her face. She wiped them and took a deep breathe.

"You could just text them something like, 'Oh my god. I'm so sorry. This wasn't meant for you," she offered.

"I could." You nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I could do that."

You picked up your phone, ready to send another message. In your hands, it vibrated.

​---

Carol hated texting. Sometimes, she thought maybe that was why her and Thor were so close. She was traveling the galaxy. He was traveling the galaxy. She hated texting. He didn’t have a phone. She preferred communication the old fashion way like through hologram or sheer word of mouth.

She checked her phone as soon as she received the message and now it was waiting on the countertop of the bar face down.

“If someone sent me a picture, I would’ve been all over that,” Rocket burped.

“That’s not what she needs to hear right now, Rocket,” Thor turned to her. “So what are we doing here? Are you going to respond or…”

“I responded,” she said. And she had.

She said word for word, ‘Oh is this an emergency?’

You had sent the photos when she was on some off time with Thor. They all had just gotten back from a mission liberating refugees from a wannabe empire. She had been ready to dash back to Earth when she saw your name light up her phone screen. When she opened the message… completely different story.

Thor scrunched up his nose and shrugged.

“What?” asked Carol.

“If I sent promiscuous photos to a potential love interest, I would want a bit more…” He gestured to the air.

Carol scrunched her brows. “You would want what?”

“I don’t know. Romance?”

Rocket slammed his beer on the table. “Send them a tongue emoji.”

“I don’t like texting. Why couldn’t they just,” she threw up her hands. “I don’t know. Send a hologram.”

“Look. Forget everything else. Do you wanna get laid or not?” demanded Rocket.

Carol cocked her head to the side and begrudgingly nodded. “Then stop dicking around. It’s annoying. Some of us haven’t got laid in years and you’re over here squandering your opportunities.”

“So what? I travel a billion light years away for sex?”

Before Thor can interject, Rocket growled. “You can breathe in space. Going to Earth for you is like me or Thor here going to the bathroom.”

Carol sighed. “The raccoon has a point.”

“Fuck you.”

----

“C’mon Valkyrie. Just once.”

“I will not play Fortnite with you.”

Korg frowned or she assumed he did. It was always hard to tell. ���But-”

“No.”

Her phone had long since vibrated in her pocket. A fact that she had chosen to ignore. The Midgardians seemed to always have issues. Even on Sundays which were supposed to be her self-care days. She picked it up, ready to see some frantic message about one crisis or another. The sky is falling. Nuclear weapons. Blah blah blah.

“Oh.” She nearly dropped it.

“What is it?” Korg peered over her shoulder. “It seems like someone sent you a gift.”

There were two photos with the caption ‘wish you were here x’. It was simple enough. Valkyrie tried to remember the last conversation she had with you. Had you been flirting? It was last Tuesday when she had been discussing global affairs with the other world leaders. You had been there, but in between all of the political nonsense, it was hard to figure it all out.

Korg was still peering over her shoulder. Valkyrie quirked her brow at him.

“Sorry.” He went back to his game. “Are you going to respond to Y/N? I like them. Gave me some good rocks once.”

“Rocks?”

“Yeah, I think they thought I eat them. Not their fault. My mum’s boyfriend used to think the same thing. I use them to decorate me flower garden, though.”

Valkyrie nodded and took a sip of her beer. “Should I respond?”

“You should do what your heart tells you.” He sighed. “Sorry. I’ve been watching a lot of them Disney movies. Have you seen the one with the girl on the islands?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve seen that one.”

“It’s good. She sings.”

Valkyrie took another swig of her beer, typing out a response to your photos.

‘This is way better than what I was expecting.’ And waited.

----

"She's annoying."

"I mean, she is right."

"Seriously?"

"What?" Darcy hesitantly took a sip of Thor's alcohol. "I think it's a valid question. Is it an emergency?"

"It is," you half-questioned.

"Is it?"

"It is," you said with more force.

"Then, say that," Darcy took another sip. "This shit really hits you. I get why..." She burped.

Right after you hit send, another message came through. Valkyrie.

"Well," you begin. "Valkyrie appreciated it."

"Of course she did." When you stared at her, Darcy shrugged. "She seems like really chill. Stared at your ass in one of our meetings."

"She did? When?"

"I don't know. It was like, so far ago."

"She said it was way better than what she was expecting."

"So, she wants you."

"Yeah," you said slowly. The King of Asgard wanted you. Wanted more of you. You reread the message. "I'm gonna flirt back."

Darcy nodded, taking another small sip of the ale.

I guess I should've done this sooner, you texted back.

Her response was immediate.  We’ll have to make up for lost time.

"Valkyrie's so hot," you whispered.

Just then, Carol responded. And what would you like me to do about this emergency?

You walked over to the counter and grabbed the bottle, taking a tiny sip of the alcohol. Just enough to give you a boost of confidence. You spared a glance at your friend. Her alcohol tolerance was higher than yours and yet, her cheeks were already pink. She nodded at the bottle, her eyebrows raised slightly.

"You look ah, flustered."

"You look drunk."

She held one finger up, wobbly walked herself to the couch. "Touche."

There was no reason you couldn't have fun, right? They didn't know that you had texted them both. No one knew save for Darcy and she could keep a secret. You could have fun with this. They both wanted you - honestly, you should take advantage of this opportunity. What was that phrase people loved saying? Live life or whatever the fuck.

"Yeah," Darcy cheered.

You hadn't realized you'd been talking out loud.

To Valkyrie, you send: When can we get started?

You took a deep breathe before texting Carol. Your fingers hovered over the send button for minutes longer than necessary.

I'd like you to fuck me, you sent back.

Game on.

[pricemarshfield]

moments like these

A Figayda angst/hurt/comfort fic. Requested by @sapphic-tuesday even though they only requested it because I love Figayda. (ily bestie) Read on AO3 here.

Prompt: Figayda, angst, hurt/comfort, “You don’t need to stay.” “I don’t need to. But I want to.”

The forest is dark and damp and the worst fucking place Fig has ever been, and she's running as fast as she can to get away from herself. She'd point out how it's way too on the nose if she had any breath left, but as it stands, it's all she can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other, slower and slower.

Eventually she has to just collapse into the nearest bush, hope somehow that's enough stealth even as the crack of the branches seems to echo out for miles and miles. There's a long, long beat, where she thinks, just for a second, that maybe she's done it. Maybe the other her isn't too perceptive, either.

She hears an oddly pitched laugh from right behind her ear, as though she isn't lying on the ground, and when did the branches tangle around her leg? Where'd her bass go? Why did none of her friends even seem to care that someone else took her place--

Fig wakes up with a start, sits up, hits her head against her ceiling which is, of course, the living room floor. Her horns scratch it a bit, but thankfully, her mom won't ever see it. Her crystal says it's 3 in the morning when she checks it, and fuck, she's gonna be stuck in here for awhile if she can't pass back out.

She could send a quick text to the Mordred group chat (the manorlings, despite Ragh vying for 'OWLBEAR HYPE HOUSE') and ask if anyone's up to let her out, but then there'll be questions about why she's up, so she just concentrates on mage hand until she nails the chord and the ceiling opens.

The house feels too empty with everyone asleep, too stifling when she can't make any noise, but there's not exactly anywhere else she can go. Her days of sneaking out in the middle of the night to go to concerts aren't nearly as fun now that she misses her friends the whole time. Also, now people recognize her for being one of Solace's biggest stars or whatever, and that's just kind of a hassle when she's not in the mood for attention.

The living room couch is an old, cracked leather thing, moved from Jawbone's apartment. It's not comfortable in any traditional sense, but there's a groove in it that fits her perfectly, and that's nice, in its own way. Sometimes she misses the couch in the old house. It got burned to hell in the attack on prom night, though, so. The whole house did, honestly; when she went home after everything, the window in her bedroom was shattered, glass all over her bed so that she had to pick up each piece, vacuum up what small pieces she couldn't see. She still woke up with a couple cuts on her legs that she didn't have before, but it was home, even if the posters and the pink wallpaper were both singed, even if the purple comforter she'd had since she was a kid didn't smell like it used to.

The old Faeth house never really felt like home after her horns, sure, but Mordred...

She does like it here. Loves it, when everyone's crowded around the table, Adaine arguing with Kristen about some minute difference in casting, Jawbone telling a wildly off-color story to a confused-but-interested Aelwyn, Sandra Lynn making sure Ayda has enough food on her plate while she blinks back fiery tears.

But it doesn't change the fact that she lived here for all of a day before spring break, and right now the hallways and secret passages and tall ceilings all feel ominous, not exciting anymore.

She turns on the light before her mage hand dissipates, scrolls through the games she has on her crystal. Most of them are things she's had on here back when she liked unicorns and glitter and all those girly things that she never got around to deleting.

It's something to do, at least.

The bright colors are nostalgic in just the wrong way, and she makes it through two minutes of matching pop rocks and cake slices before she's scrolling through the games again, on-edge for no goddamn reason.

"Fig?"

Part of her relaxes against the couch before she's even finished processing the voice as Ayda. "Hey! I didn't think you were staying here tonight."

"I wasn't," Ayda says, looking at her with an expression she can't read at all. She's in a deep blue chemise, like she'd been sleeping before she walked through the enchanted door into Mordred. "I--may I sit?"

"Yeah, of course," Fig says, patting the spot next to her. "Always, babe."

Ayda cries a little as she sits, and Fig wipes the tears away. The first time she tried, when she was a normal tiefling and didn't wear the title of Archdevil, it stung a little, like stepping into a too-warm bath. Now, it feels just like the hint of warmth against her hand, uniquely Ayda and not at all painful. (Which is also uniquely Ayda, to never freak Fig out even when she's in this shitty mood.)

"So," Ayda says. "I was in Leviathan, as I needed to--well, still need to, I've merely decided the task isn't as important--I'm getting sidetracked."

"Yeah," Fig says, and when Ayda stiffens, says, "Not bad! Not a bad thing! It's cute."

"Oh," Ayda says. "I--sorry," and bursts into tears again. Fig wipes them away, kisses her cheek just 'cause she can, kisses the other one because she can feel Ayda's face get even warmer.

"No worries," Fig says, too late, because she's not--this is still new to her. "So what's going on?"

"As you know, I am a divination wizard, though not an Oracle like Adaine, our best friend." Fig nods. "But sometimes my dreams have--not prophecies, but looks into the present, or even occasionally the past."

"Okay," Fig says. "Is there, like, a slumbering demon lord underneath Mordred?"

"No," Ayda says. "I asked a ranger I know in Leviathan to check before he left on a journey to Sylvaire. Unrelated to the Nightmare King. I checked, just to be sure, because I am sure none of us want to deal with that again."

"Mmhm," Fig says, willing herself to keep breathing slow and easy and not tense up like she wants to. It's just Ayda talking about preventing further Nightmare King stuff. The Nightmare King doesn't even exist anymore, they're Cassandra, they're cool. "So, uh, what'd you see in your dream?"

"You," Ayda says. "That isn't uncommon. I dream of you often. You're in more of my dreams than not. Is that strange? Should I not have said that?"

"Not strange," Fig says, sure her cheeks are red rather than pink. "Just--I'm flustered, okay, give me a second."

Ayda nods at her, not smiling but face relaxed in a way that suggests the same feeling. Fig grabs her hand just to ground herself, squeezes it once. There's a moment before Ayda squeezes it back, like she's thinking about whether it's the right thing to do.

"Totally normal," Fig says, just in case.

"Good," Ayda says with one long exhale. "I was worried."

"You know, it doesn't matter to me if what you do is 'normal'," Fig says. "I like you whether what you do is normal or not!"

Ayda nods. "I want to finish my thought, but after that I want to kiss you. That was the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"You could kiss me and then finish the thought?"

"I would forget," Ayda says, like she doesn't remember everything, like Fig is enough to distract her. Fig can't quite meet her gaze, then, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. She squeezes her hand again. Ayda squeezes back immediately. "Um. I'm distracting myself. What was I talking about?"

"Your dream."

"Right. Thank you, Fig. I dreamed about you, and I think it may have been--it was as though I was standing at your bedside. I know it was a dream and not sleepwalking, because I can't actually stand in your room--it's too short and I don't want to set your house on fire. But you seemed upset, and while I don't know if that was real or a dream or not, I couldn't--I couldn't just sit in my room and Leviathan without checking."

"Oh," Fig says. "Um. I'm fine."

"Hm," Ayda says. "You know, you were the one who told me that if people say they're fine, it very rarely means they're fine. I don't understand the logic of it at all, but I trust your insight."

"It's stupid," Fig says, and then, in a twist, bursts into tears herself. "God. It's stupid, I don't even know why I'm upset? Like, it's literally nothing, nothing is going on, I'm just dumb--"

"You are not dumb," Ayda says, and Fig hates herself all the more for the panic she can hear in her voice. "You have taught me so much, and if it matters to you, then it's not stupid. Fig?"

"Yeah," Fig says, voice embarrassingly choked up. She clears her throat as best she can, which isn't very well, since she's still actively crying. "Yeah, I know."

"I don't know what you know," Ayda says. "But I know that when I cry, you wipe my tears away, and I'm going to do the same for you, unless you want to stop me, in which case I won't."

Fig doesn't move, lets Ayda wipe away her tears even though it makes her want to cry more, someone being nice to her right now. "Thanks."

"Any time," Ayda says with the weight of a promise and not at all like the platitude most people would mean. "Do you want to talk about it? It's okay if you don't. I often don't want to talk about the things I'm going through when I'm still going through them."

"I don't," Fig says, because the idea of explaining the nightmare and Mordred and her old house being destroyed and feeling so, so unmoored and stuck all at once makes her want to tear her own hair out. "I don't--you don't need to stay. I'll be okay. If I'm not--if I can't talk about it, you don't need to stay."

"I don't need to stay," Ayda says, carefully, and Fig grips her hand tighter without consciously meaning to. "But I'd like to. If I can."

"I meant it when I said always," Fig says, still not looking at Ayda because she can't.

"Do you want me to?"

"Yeah," Fig says. "I always want you to stay."

Jawbone walks into the room on his way into the kitchen, sees two teenagers holding hands and crying and slightly-burning his couch, and decides he can just get water from the bathroom instead of the kitchen. He's not one to interrupt a moment.

[lesserfandomappreciation]

Ariadne and why the Mycenaeans can fuck right off

Warning: Includes brief mentions of r*pe, cultural destruction, ancient patriarchy reminding us why no woman would ever time-travel more than 5 years into the past if that and a great deal of spite for male historians/public education history/mythology classes. 

Possible side effects may include a sudden intense rage for an ancient society equivalent to the innate rage one has for the Romans burning the library of Alexandria, a distinct hatred for ancient men not being able to let anyone have nice things, and a sudden fascination for Minoa. 

Usually, I stick to writing imagines and being happy with that. It’s fun! I love it! But every now and again, in an attempt to escape the crushing forces known as reality and responsibilities I’ll put on a few cutscenes from games I’m: A) Too lazy to play B) Too broke to play C) Too unskilled to play D) All of the above

because cutscenes are free and why torture yourself with impossible levels when its free on Youtube?* *In all seriousness please support video games and video game creators, but no shame to those of us who prefer cutscenes to gameplay.  A few weeks ago I added the game Hades made by Supergiant to the list because the cutscenes were bomb and the characters are so much fun! Intricate as all hell! Hella cute too but that’s unrelated! Now my pretty little simp patootie is especially a big fan of Dionysus and his gorgeous design so the cutscenes with him are my favorite.

I’m re-watching his cutscenes a few nights ago for fun as background when he has a certain line about Theseus. Don’t quote me on this since my memory is foggy at best but roughly it was: Dionysus: Good job with Theseus. Never cared much for him- what he did to that girl was just horrible.*

*I know that’s not his exact line but this is clearly a rant post fueled by spite and ADD-hyper-focused obsessions with ancient civilizations so let’s not worry too too much about the semantics here. 

Now, I like mythology! Personally, I prefer the Norse mythology due to the general lack of very very gross dynamics that several other ancient mythologies seem to include, but I’m decently familiar with Greek mythos. Enough to go - “Why does the God of Wine give a single fuck about the frat bro of Greek heroes being a dick to a woman? Grossness is embedded into the very DNA of all distant relatives of Zeus, a woman being harassed by Zeus or his bastard army is a typical Tuesday in ancient Greece.” 

Wikipedia confirms that Ariadne is the only woman in the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, which I kinda knew already so unless Theseus did some f’ed up shit to some other princess of Minos, Dionysus could only be referring to her. Disregarding what I know about Wikipedia and how it can suck you down the rabbit hole of rabbit holes through sheer fury I stupidly clicked the link to Ariadne’s article. 

By the time we get to the end of this shitstorm, I will have two separate plotlines for two separate stories based of Ariadne, 2k+ notes (and going) on an ancient civilization prior to a week ago I didn’t know existed and within me there will be a rage towards a different ancient civilization I vaguely recall learning about in high school. 

Here’s how this shit went down. 

First of all, apparently after Theseus abandoned Ariadne on an island to die (yep! He did that! To the one person who is the only reason he defeated the minotaur! Fuck this guy.) there are multiple storylines where Dionysus takes a single look at Ariadne and falls in love. 

“A god falls in love?” you say, aware of how most love stories in Greek mythos can be summed up with Unfortunately, Zeus got horny and Hera is a firm believer in victim blaming. “This poor woman is about to go through hell!” I thought so too! And in one variation of the story, Dionysus does his daddy proud by being an absolute tool to Ariadne. In the majority though? He woos the fuck out of her, and ultimately marries her by consent!

Her consent!

In ancient Greece!

The party dude of the Greek pantheon knows more about consent then his father and modern day frat brothers!

Okay! That’s interesting, so I keep reading. 

Ariadne getting hitched to Dionysus is a big deal in Olympus, to the point of getting a crown made of the Aurora Borealis from Aphrodite who is bro-fisting Dionysus, beyond glad she didn’t have to give him the talk about consent. The rest of the gods are pissy especially Hera who doesn’t like Dionysus much since he is the son of Zeus and Semele but they don’t do much. Ariadne ascends to godhood, becomes the goddess of Labyrinths with the snake and bull as her symbol and that’s that on that. 

Colorin, colorado, este cuento se acabado.  And they lived happily ever after. That’s the end of the post right?

NO! Because curiosity has made me their bitch and there’s more to this calling me. 

Also, I was pissed! Still am! Why the fuck-a-doodle-do did I have to learn about the time Poseidon r*ped a priestess instead of the arguably healthiest relationship in the entirety of the pantheon? Why is Persephone and Hades’ story (which has improved since it was first written and I like more modern versions of it, no hate) the only healthy-ish Greek love story I had to learn when Dionysus and Ariadne were right there? The rage of having endured several grade levels of “Zeus got horny and Hera found out” stories in the nightmare of public education led me to keep looking into this. 

There’s this wonderful Youtube channel called Overly Sarcastic Productions that I highly recommend that delves a lot into mythology, and I have seen their bombass video about Dionysus and how his godhood has changed since he was potentially first written in a language we comprehend. 

Did ya’ll know this man is the heir apparent to Zeus? ‘Cause I didn’t know that!

YEA! Dionysus, man of parties, king of hangovers and inducer of madness, is set to inherit the throne of Olympus! Ariadne didn’t husband up the God of Wine, she husbanded up the Prince of Olympus and heir apparent to the throne! Holy shit! No wonder some of the gods were against her marriage to Dionysus - can you imagine the drama of an ex-mortal woman sitting on the Queen’s throne of Olympus? Hera must have been pissed.

BUT WAIT.

There’s more.

The reason we know Dionysus is a very important god and is possibly even more important than we think is because of a handy-dandy language known as Linear B, otherwise known as the language of the Mycenaeans!

For those of you fortunate enough to have normal hobbies and interests, the Mycenaeans were the beta version of the Greeks. Their written language of Linear B is one of, if not the first recorded instance of a written Indo-European language. This language, having been translated, gives us an interesting look at what the Greek gods were like back in their beta-stages before they fixed the coding and released the pantheon. 

Interesting side facts of the Mycenaean Greek gods include:

Poseidon being the head god with an emphasis on his Earthquake aspect, and being much more of a cthonic god in general. 

Take that Zeus, for being so gross. 

The gods in general being more cthonic, as Mycenaeans were obsessed with cthonic gods (probably due to all the earthquakes and natural disasters in Greece and Crete at that time)

Several of the gods and goddesses that we know being listed, alongside some that we don’t consider as important (Dione)

The first mention of Kore, later Persephone, but no Hades because since a lot of gods were cthonic, there would be no need for one, specific cthonic god to represent the majority of death-related rituals.

That’s not what we’re focusing on though! What we’re focusing on is a specific translated portion of Linear B that we have. One of the translated portions of Linear B that for the life of me I can’t find (someone please help me find it and send the link so I can edit this post) says an interesting phrase. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

One more time. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

Mistress of Labyrinths. 

Now wait a gosh darn minute. Isn’t there a goddess of labyrinths in the Greek mythos? Why yes! Yes there is! Ariadne!

Here’s a question for you. If Ariadne is but a minor god in the pantheon, a wife to a more predominant god, why is it that while all the other gods and goddesses are bunched together in a sentence of praise, the so-called ex-mortal gets a whole-ass sentence to herself singing praises?

And thus, we have arrived to Minoa!

What is Minoa, you ask? Minoa is to Rome what Rome is to us. An old-ass civilization either older than or younger by a hundred years to ancient Egypt. Egypt, that started in 3200 B.C-ish depending on who you ask. That’s old. Old as balls. They were contemporaries to their trading partner, Egypt until 1450 BC-ish. A 2000 year old civilization.

Minoa was founded on the island of Crete, and was by what artifacts we have found a merchant civilization with its central economy centered on the cultivation of saffron and the development of bronze/iron statues of bulls. Most of what we know about them comes from artifacts and frescoes found on Crete that managed to survive everything else I will mention later, but what matters is that we know a few things about them. 

Obsessed with marine life for some time, given their pottery. 

Had the first palaces in all of Europe, some of them ridiculously big. 

Wrote in Linear A and Cretan Hieroglyphs, both still untranslated languages. 

Had a ritual involving jumping over a bull, for some reason. 

Firm believers in “Suns out, Tits out.”

You’d think I’m kidding on the last one but no! No no no! All the women apparently rocked the tits-out look in Minoa!

^^^^One of many, many Minoan works featuring women giving their titties fresh air. ^^^^

“Wait a second Pinks! What does this have to do with Ariadne being the Mistress of labyrinths?”

Well you see dear wonderful darling, while we know very little about Minoan religion because Mycenaeans (we will get to those bastards in a second), we do know this:

All the religious figures appear to be exclusively women.

The most important figures of their religion seem to be goddesses as there are few artifacts featuring male gods.

Because of the religion, the culture may have been an equal society or even a matriarchy! Historians who are male aren’t sure. 

A frankly ridiculous amount of their temples, including the ones in caves in the middle of fuck-all feature labyrinths. A lot of labyrinths!

Their head god is a goddess! Whose temples have labyrinths and whose main symbols are snakes and bulls. Who do we know is a) the mistress of labyrinths and b) is symbolized a lot by snakes and bulls?

ARI-fucking-ADNE THAT’S WHO!

Ariadne didn’t upgrade by marrying the prince of Olympus! Dionysus wifed up possibly the most important goddess in all of Crete and becoming her boy-toy! 

I’m not even kidding, most Minoan depictions of the goddess’ consort features a boy/man who cycles through the stages of death. Dionysus himself in several myths goes through the same cycle - life, being crushed, death, rebirth, repeat.  Cycles the consort goes through in Minoan legend depictions too!

Okay, that’s great, but what does that have to do with the Mycenaeans? Why do you want to single-handedly go back in time and strangle the beta-Greeks with the nearest belt?

Everything I just said about Ariadne being a Minoan goddess, the Mistress of Labyrinths being hella important on Minoa, is all theoretical. The Mycenaeans are partially to blame for making it theoretical. 

Minoa thrived for 2000 years but it had a lot of issues, mostly caused by natural disasters. Towards the end of their civilization (1500 BC-ish), the nearby island of Thera, today known as Santorini, decided to blow up. The island was a hella-active volcano that when erupted, destroyed a lot. 

How big was the eruption? Well when Pompeii was wasted by Mt. Vesuvius, the blast was heard from roughly 120 miles away, 200 km. 

The blast on Thera was heard from 3000 miles away. 4800 km away.

Fuck me, the environmental effects of the explosion were felt in imperialistic CHINA.

Holy shit that would waste anybody! And it did! Minoa went from being a powerhouse in the Mediterranean to scrambling to recover from losing 40,000 citizens and who knows how many cities. Tsunamis may have followed the blast, further destroying ports which for a navy-powerhouse of an island nation is a bad thing and the theorized temperature drops caused by a cloud of ash lingering for a while would have destroyed crops for the year.

Minoa was fucked. 

The Mycenaeans and all their bullshit made it worse.

Up until a few hundred years prior to Thera’s explosion, Minoan artifacts don’t depict much in terms of military power. Why would it? Crete is a natural defense post. Sheer cliffs, high mountains and a few semi-fortified areas would make it pointless to invade. It’s only when the Mycenaeans in all their bullshit decided to attack/compete that Minoa really needed any army to speak of.

Guess who decided to invade while Minoa was reeling from an incredibly shitty year? Mycenaea!

Guess who won?

Also Mycenaea!

Nobody knows how this shit went down though because wouldn’t you know it, the Mycenaeans in all their superiority-complex glory decided to destroy most written accounts about Minoa, a good junk of the temples and culturally eliminated most of Minoan beliefs. 

Minoa isn’t even the real name of the civilization! It’s just the name Arthur Evans, the guy who re-motivate interest in Minoan archaeology, gave to the civilization because the writings that would have included the name of the civilization were destroyed.

“That sucks!” Fuck yes that sucks! “What does that have to do with Ariadne though?”

Oh ho ho. Strap in because you’re about to be pissed. 

Those of us unfortunate enough to be aware of all the bullshit the Christians pulled on the European pagan belief system are familiar with the concept of cultural, religious destruction. There’s a special name for it I don’t know but if I did I would curse it to be absorbed by the horrendous will of fungi. 

An example: Christianity was not the most popular of religions amongst the Vikings. A monotheistic religion that is heavily controlled did not strongly appeal to anyone with a pantheon as rad as the Norse one. 

In order to appeal to the Vikings, what monks would do is they would write down traditionally Viking stories which up until that point were orally passed down. Beowulf, the story of the most Viking Viking to have every Vikinged, was one of these first stories. 

However! Did these monks write Beowulf as closely to the original oral transcript as possible? Of course not! They took liberties! While Norse features such as trolls and dragons and all sorts of Norse magic occur, there is a lot of Christian features added in. 

This happened across all Pagan religions that Christianity came into contact with in Europe. Stories would be altered when written down to be more Christian (this happened to the Greek Pantheon too btw), holidays that were Pagan magically lined up with ones the Vatican just happened to suddenly have. Even names of mythological figures were taken and added onto Christian figure names. Consequently, a lot of pagan religions they did this to got erased over time, with many of their traditions and details being lost forever, and the details we do know being tinted by Christianity.

The Mycenaeans were likely no different. 

Minoa and Mycenaea were as culturally opposite as can be. Minoa is theorized to be a matriarchal or equal society*. Mycenaea and most of early Greece absolutely was not. In fact, during early stages of their religion where they believed in reincarnation, the Mycenaeans believed the worst thing to come back as was a woman. 

Did you get that? With your options ranging from man to ever single animal on Earth, a woman was ranked as beneath literal animals in Mycenaean society.

Fuck the Mycenaeans.

* This is not to say Minoa was without fault, as a society that is matriarchal or equal can still have rampant issues such as privilege, classism, racism, sexism and more, but when history has a shortage of civilizations that didn’t treat women like shit, you find yourself rooting for them more. 

 What do you do then, when you take over a society that is very much the opposite of a nightmare of a patriarchy? You fold their beliefs into your own to bait them into yours. Going back to the Linear B line about “Mistress of Labyrinths” that line would/could have been an early tactic of incorporating Minoan belief into Mycenaean belief. Other goddesses and gods were made into aspects of Mycenaean gods. Bristomartis, the Minoan goddess of the hunt, would become Artmeis. Velchanos, a god of the sky, would become Zeus. 

With more time, the religion shifted more into Mycenaean and eventually into ancient Greece as we know it. Through trade other gods and goddesses would continue to shift and change, some being straight up imported (Aphrodite for example). Dionysus himself changed a lot too, going from a God representing freedom and attracting slaves, women and those with limited power into his cult, to a God of parties for the wealthy. 

Theseus and the Minotaur was a myth likely based on a Mycenaean myth based on a Minoan myth that changes Ariadne from an important, possibly the important goddess of an ancient religion and relegates her to a side character in a pantheon so vast that she would be lost within it. 

All of this brings us to today. Today, where as soon as work ended I spent most of the day, as well as the past two days, looking up everything I can on Minoan civilization and added it to my notes. Spite is fueling me to write two possible different stories for two different fandoms where Minoa dunks of Mycenaea and it is giving me life. Expect an update within the next two weeks folks as I lose control of my writing life once more. 

In summary: Ariadne deserves more respect, fuck the public education system for skipping over the good parts of Greek mythology instead of the r*pey as shit parts, the Mycenaeans can eat my shorts, and a world were Minoa became the predominant power instead of Greece would be an amazing world to live in.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Pink out. 

[itsclydebitches]

Discredit Pt. 2: More Recommended Reviews For A.Z. Fell’s

Alright, folks. Some notes first: 

1. You all rock. I’m sending out 20k+ virtual hugs for all the notes I NEVER expected to get on this nonsense. 

2. This is probably the final section, just because I’m not sure I can adequately follow up part one and it might be foolish to attempt it here. Let alone twice. But for now, here we go. 

3. Kudos to the anon who reminded me of Aziraphale’s cash-only policy <3 

4. Nicole Y’s review is based off an actual comment I read years ago, but heaven only knows where online it was. I’ve got the memory of a goldfish. 

5. Trigger warning for the use of a queer slur in this. It’s the same review as above, number 5 if you want to avoid it. 

6. There’s a text-only version of just the reviews at the end, after all the images. I’ll upload that to my Sparse Clutter collection on AO3 in a bit. 

Bonus 7. People thinking this is a real shop deserve all the good things in this world. 

That’s all I’ve got. Hope you enjoy! 👍

****************************************************************************

I’m a simple guy who likes simple jokes. If there’s a whoopee cushion I plant it. I will call you up to ask if your refrigerator is running and then tell you to go catch it. (Actually that one died out so thoroughly it’s actually capable of a comeback now!). Yes, I’m a dad and yes, I have a t-shirt that says Dad Jokes? I Think You Mean Rad Jokes! which I wear un-ironically every Saturday. All of which is just to say that my wife was well prepared for my stupidity when I walked into Fell’s.

I? I was not.

You see the bibles when you walk in? The ones to the left? Let them be. Don’t even look at them. Definitely don’t pick out the fanciest one you can find and absolutely don’t walk up to the owner with it held in your pudgy little fingers, grinning like a loon, cheerfully asking whether this should be in the fiction section. Just don’t. Mark my words you’ll regret it. Though your wife won’t. She’ll get a great old laugh out of it all.

In conclusion: it’s quite possible that mama did raise a fool and he just got his ass verbally whooped by a guy in a bowtie.  

***

Shout-out to Mr. Fell for being the only decent bloke in this city. I’ve popped in and out of his store for years—including before I started transitioning. So he knew my dead name, dead look, whole shebang and I was definitely nervous to play the ‘You know me, but this is what’s changed and are you gonna throw a fit about it?’ game.

You know what he said? “Oh, Rose! What a lovely choice. Crowley dear, why aren’t you growing any roses? Some white ones would look splendid next to my Henredon chair.”

That’s it. He just went straight into dragging his partner for not giving him roses. So hey, Mom? Next time you’re snooping through my social media why don’t you explain to all these nice people why the 50+yo book seller accepts me in ways you won’t. Don’t go telling me age is an excuse or that you’re ‘Stuck in your ways.’ I’ve watched Fell dress in the same damn clothes since I was ten!!

Yeah. Sorry. Rant over. Fell’s a gem. That’s my take. Rose out.

***

Anyone else in the shop when that guy started yelling about buying pornography? And then got escorted into the back room for some ‘private conversation’? Well done, Mr. Fell! Didn’t know you had it in you.

***

Alright alright alright alright I am TOTALLY calm about this.

Went into A.Z. Fell’s last Thursday. Not because I knew anything about the place. Just because I’ve been hitting up every bookshop within a twenty-mile radius, asking if they’re hosting any book signings. Long story short I self-published my novel Blight last month—which you can get for a mere £5 here but I swear this isn’t a promotional thing I’m just BROKE—and have been looking for networking opportunities, tips, stuff like that. So the owner listened politely as I explained all this. Then said he didn’t do anything of that sort, which didn’t surprise me given the shop’s vibe.

But then? Then??? He offered to let me do a signing there??????

As said. Totally calm about this. This man either plans to kidnap me or is actually giving me my first shot at an audience outside my blog. AKA totally worth the risk.

Tuesday the 9th. 7:00pm. Just in case anyone’s interested ;)

***

holy sweet baby jesus i was tripping balls last week you tryin’ to tell me that kING KONG SIZED FANGED FUCK SNAKE IS REAL

***

Witnessed the most perfect exchange the other day:

Grumpy Dude With No Manners: “You. Boy. Where’s the man I spoke with over the phone?”

Mr. Fell’s Partner Who Knows Damn Well Only Two of Them Work There But Clearly Doesn’t Like This Guy’s Tone: “Did this man give you his name?”

Grumpy Dude: “Might have. Don’t remember. Sounded like a fairy though.”

Me: “....”

My girlfriend: “....”

This Poor Sweet Startled Kid On Our Left: “?!?!?!?”

Fell’s Partner In The Drollest Voice I’ve Ever Heard: “None of us have wings. Out!”

***

This shop gets full stars simply because every time I walk in they’re playing Queen.

I mean, I’ve walked in once, but once is enough when you’ve got Crazy Little Thing Called Love blasting full volume.

***

Okay, I’m still kind of shaken up but I needed to write this out somewhere and this seemed as good a place as any.

I spilled my latte on a book. Just tripped on thin air, popped the lid, and chucked a venti’s worth of coffee all over a very expensive looking text. I didn’t mean to, obviously, but it happened and I just started bawling on the spot. Full on sobs because this semester has been absolute hell, I ruined this guy’s antique, there’s no way I can pay for it, I can’t even sneak away because I’m drawing the whole store’s attention...just all the things all at once. I really was straight up panicking and was seconds away from pulling out my inhaler. I couldn’t breathe.

And then Mr. Fell showed up.

Jesus it’s embarrassing to admit but I think I hit him once or twice. On the arms I mean, because he was trying to touch me and I figured, I don’t know, it was a restraint or something. He was going to call the police and hold me until they got there. But then he managed to start rubbing my back and I lost it like I hadn’t already been bawling my eyes out in this shop. Ever cry into a perfect stranger’s chest? I have! But if Mr. Fell seemed to mind he definitely didn’t show it. Just kept holding me while I probably ruined his shirt and then took me into the back and made me a new coffee in this cute little angel mug. He let me stay there while I called my sister and waited for her to arrive.

She’s a good twenty minutes outside of Soho, so we talked for a while. It’s not like Mr. Fell could fix my shit roommate or bio classes, but I guess just talking about it all really helped. I was a lot calmer by the time my sis arrived and Mr. Fell insisted I come back any time I wanted—for browsing or more coffee.

Of course, sis offered to pay for the book herself. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so surprised in my life. “Certainly not!” he said. “Contrary to popular belief, no one should pay for their mistakes. It’s what makes you all so wonderfully human.”

So yeah. Thanks, Mr. Fell.

***

This little shop must have started a book club for kids! Lately I’ve seen the same group of children hanging out at Fell’s. Three boys and a girl. They’re a bit rambunctious at times, but who isn’t at that age? So wonderful seeing literature passed down to the next generation. Even if some of it is rather questionable looking...

***

It’s an honest crime that more of you aren’t talking about what a wonderful bookstore this is.

I’m a book lover at heart and Fell’s always makes me feel like I’m coming home. I just arrived somewhere safe and familiar after a particularly harrowing day. I’ve slipped under the covers of my bed after dinner and a bubble bath. It’s something like that, but with an element of surprise too. One of the reasons why I adore private and used shops over chain stores is that little touch of chaos. You walk in and sure, there are general sections to browse, but everything is just a little bit disorganized from people leafing through books and then putting them back somewhere else. There’s no real record keeping, you’ve just gotta head to one particular corner and hope for the best. It’s not the sort of place you go to if you want something specific because the chances of them having it are slim—that’s just how the universe works—and even if they did no employee knows where it is anymore.

But if you wander the shelves for a while, crouch down low to get a look at everything on the bottom shelf, pay attention to the books that don’t have easy to read titles or any summaries to speak of... you just might find something you didn’t know you were looking for. That’s Fell’s: the comfort of the familiar and the excitement of the unknown.

*** A lot of people might assume that these stories are embellished or outright made up, but as a bookseller myself going on twenty years I believe every single one of them.

That being said, I accidentally moved a rug and found chalk sigils that look like they belong in a cult. Make of that what you will.

***

There’s a special place in hell for 21st century shop owners that only take cash. Who carries cash anymore? Not me! I haven’t bothered with that nonsense in years! You can get a card reader for 15 pounds on Amazon. Or you know what? Be stingy and pay 7 for the little attachment on your phone. This place is nuts if it thinks it’s going to survive much longer on a cash-only policy, especially with some books that look like they’re worth hundreds or thousands of pounds! Yeah, yeah, just let me pull out this giant wad of bills for you. I’ll carry them around a crime-laden city because there’s no ATM near you either.

I mean jesus, you’d think this guy didn’t want to sell anything.

***

I walked in. There was a man screaming at a fern while another threatened him with an umbrella. I walked out.

5 stars do recommend.

***

I once walked in on the same (?) guy yelling at a book for daring to fall on the owner’s head. I think that’s just a Thing over there.

***

Like a lot of people here I didn’t actually go to Fell’s for any books (flat tire, Angel Recovery taking forever) and ended up staying three hours (not because of Angel). No, I wandered towards the back and found this ancient CRT set propped on a table of books, the kind that my Dad used to watch Twilight Zone on. This lanky guy had a marathon of Gilmore Girls going... though how he was managing that with a broken antenna and no DVR, I really don’t know. But yeah. He told me to pull up a chair and I did. Guy gave me popcorn.

I wish I’d paid a little more attention to his name. Charlie? Curley? I really can’t remember, but thanks for the enjoyable afternoon, man.

***

I BOUGHT A BOOK HERE

Not sure how though. Just kinda happened. First edition of Just William. Frankly I didn’t even want the thing, but the owner basically shoved me out the door with it when I took two seconds to look at the spine. Odd that he was so willing to part with this one.

Update: ... hold up. I didn’t buy a book because I never actually paid the guy. ‘Basically shoved me out the door’ was literal. Do I go back??

***

This page has really gone feral the last couple of months so I’m just gonna bite the bullet and say it:

Anyone notice that Fell’s snake and Fell’s partner are never in the same room together?

***

I really don’t like the implications of this…

***

This is precisely why the Internet has turned into a cesspool. You all should be ashamed of some of the stuff you’re writing here. Can’t two men just be friends anymore? Two real life men? These guys aren’t some characters for you to ‘ship’ or whatever. Quit making outrageous assumptions about their sexualities and use this website for what it’s actually for: reviewing the bookshop. Honestly I’m so sick of this sort of this shit.

***

Dude. They run a queer-focused shop together with a flat on the second floor. Fell calls the guy ‘Dear’ and he’s always calling him ‘Angel.’ People have literally seen them kissing. If you want I can give you the number of my physician. He might be able to help you pull your head out of your ass.

***

What the hell is your problem? I’m literally just reminding people to stop making assumptions. It’s gross and insulting. These guys check their Yelp page. You really think they’re gonna be okay with this stuff?

Also: I’m not the five-year-old relying on insults, so.

***

Making an account purely to set the record straight: I’m the hot twink in question and I married that angel. Peace

[innittowinit]

Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (Chapter 19)

Fic summary: 

Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers

That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?

Chapter summary:

Eret's been acting...strange Techno senses somethings definitely off

Chapter word count: 1726

AO3

Friendships were a complex thing. Techno had known that as long as he could remember. People come and people go, it was nothing, especially not to him or Wilbur. Inherently, they knew all they had was each other, maybe their other brothers would also always be with them but what they had together was a special bond. Neither Phil nor Tommy would ever be able to understand them the way they understood each other and that was fine, they had lived every day side by side, they shared almost all their core memories and so their rationality was incredibly similar because of it, meaning they could very easily understand each other. 

Never had they asked for a friend that would feel the same way as the friendship they had with each other, and yet they always seemed to be asking for too much. That’s the part that confused Techno. 

Never had they needed to be understood. Never had they needed something complex. All they needed was someone to accept them so why did it feel like everyone always ended up leaving? Were they the problem? It always felt like they were trying so hard so why did it feel like they were pushing people away? 

You see, recently Eret had been acting….off. 

He had been stumbling over words, fidgeting, leaving quickly with the excuse of ‘being late for something’, and taking hours to reply to any kind of message. Each of these things would be fine on their own but with them all together, they felt a little strange. 

It didn’t seem like Wilbur had noticed the recent shift in behaviour yet so Techno didn’t dare bring it up, it wasn’t uncommon that he was overly cautious and he didn’t want to risk upsetting his brother over something that might not even be a big deal, especially when he had just started to get over the incident with the ticket booth. 

“So....He’s been busy a lot lately” Wilbur sighed, draping himself across the couch and clutching his phone in one hand. Niki had insisted they add some stickers onto it since letting them live off a ‘boring flip phone’ (as she had called it) was apparently not okay.

���Do you think he’s okay? Maybe something’s going on at home..”

Oh. Techno was positive everything was okay at home. Of course there was a possibility that he was just being protective of Wilbur because he didn’t want anyone hurting his brother but seriously! In his opinion, if you had enough money to eat fucking burger king as a school lunch you were doing fine financially, and really, that’s all that mattered right? Money had always been the reason why their parents were never around.

It was probably just his jealousy talking but he had always had a bit of an underlying anger for people with a big disposable income, how was it fair that their parents had to work so much at minimum wage jobs that they could hardly see them just to keep them warm and fed and yet other families could have their parents around by the time they were home from school /and/ have extra money for treats.

“Wil, don’t worry about him.” Techno sighed, trying to choose his words carefully. He knew Wilbur was always more sensitive to rejection than him.

“He’s more..social than we are, he probably just has other friends that he doesn’t want to ignore or something”

“Maybe.. I wish he’d tell us though, I don’t like being left on read” 

With a sigh and a gentle prod for him to sit up a bit more, Techno wrapped an arm around Wilbur, feeling how he melted into the contact straight away. Of course it hurt Techno too to be ignored by the one person they thought actually could be a good friend but he needed to put on a brave face for Wilbur. Of course it felt like a stab in the gut to have trusted someone so much to be able to start talking to them and then they just disappear but Wilbur needed him right now, it was obvious to anyone that he was the one with the bigger connection issues. 

“Wil, trusting people is a part of being friends. We can talk to him tomorrow alright? And we can explain that it would make you feel better if he said his plans before disappearing”

-----

It was Tuesday night and other than a few memes she had screenshotted off of instagram and sent them, they hadn’t really heard much at all from Eret. She hadn’t hung around them long enough at school for either of them to really bring it up with her and honestly, Techno was getting incredibly worried about what was going on. He’d never had a real friend like this before, of course Skeppy always made him laugh but he was family so he didn’t count, if he messed up with family he knew as long as they weren’t adults they’d still love him afterwards, friends worked differently though. He had his Hypixel friends too but they didn’t count either since they were online and he could type to them on days when he was struggling more. By now he’d known them so long they were basically family, they’d all taken hours out of their own time to research Techno’s problems to try and be as accommodating as possible- all in all he really couldn't compare them with Eret.

It was tricky and he knew communication was one of the more important parts, which was ironically what he struggled with the most. Maybe on one of his worse-off days, where he normally would have had Wilbur doing most of the talking for him, Eret had assumed he was angry with her or giving her the silent treatment, maybe she had taken offence to the fact that Wilbur and Techno were very obviously closer than she was with each one of them. The thought that somehow they might have made her feel left out made him feel a little sick, had they not explained well enough what had led to this point? Maybe it was selfish for them to relish in the fact that she rarely bugged them for explanations.

All in all, Techno was sure they had done something for the sudden shift in attitude and, not wanting to make Wilbur feel worse than he already did, he wasn’t sure who could help him. 

Maybe he could wait up until his parents got home? People on TV were always getting advice from them but then again.. His family wasn’t really like those on tv, if he was being honest he was half sure he’d be yelled at for being awake before he could have a chance to ask for help. 

He could also ask Phil, but then again Phil was already beyond stressed trying to make sure they were all okay, he really didn’t want to bother him. Niki was closer to Wilbur than she was with him and he was sure his hypixel friends were all still at school because of the time zone difference. 

The only other person he could really think of talking to about this was Skeppy, and so, hopping out of bed, trying his hardest not to make too much noise and wake up Wilbur, he made his way to the PC. 

11:36PM 

From what he knew, Skeppy usually stayed up late and slept so late he often missed his bus anyway so he probably was still up.

Clicking onto discord, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the green dot next to his cousin's icon, immediately messaging him. 

11:36 OrphanDestroyer: Hey nerd

11:36 OrphanDestroyer: U awake?

It took a few minutes for him to answer, Techno was just about ready to give up and accept he had just chosen the one night he may have gone to bed on time to try and message him.

11:42 japanesesymbolforbeginner: 1 sec ina call wiv bbh 

Writing ‘bbh’ off as one of Skeppy’s friends he had forgotten to tell them about, Techno waited patiently for Skeppy to say he was free. 

11:46 japanesesymbolforbeginner: ok im done, what you need

11:46 OrphanDestroyer: SO

11:46 OrphanDestroyer: Do you remember Eret?

11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Okay well basically for like the past few days he’s been ignoring me and Wilbs and I’m really really worried we offended him or something like maybe we hurt him or he’s mad or maybe he decided he's too good to be friends with us which tbh I don't blame him for because we kinda are losers and maybe people won't be friends with him because he's friends with us or something? Idk idk I just really wish he’d tell us something because like Wil is freaking out and idk what to tell him, he really struggles with this kinda stuff and I wanna help but idk how. 

11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Ok...fuck

11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Has he replied to any messages or anything? Maybe he’s busy?

11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Not really 

11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Okay okay so here’s what I think you should do

11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If he’s ignoring you you're gonna need to confront him next time you see him and don’t just agree when he makes an excuse to leave, like say you NEED to talk

11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If u think he’s offended bc sometimes you don't speak a lot maybe just message him some resources or whatever on the type of mutism you deal with, even if he doesn’t reply he’ll probably still open it.

11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: like he might just be in the position where he’s nervous he’ll offend you if he asks something about it? Like maybe he doesn't understand fully and he just needs one of you to open the discussion 

11:50 OrphanDestroyer: okay you're probably right

11:50 OrphanDestroyer: There’s a link I have to one I normally email teachers whenever we have a new one so i'll probably send him that

11:50 OrphanDestroyer: Tomorrow though, my dads gonna be home soon and he’ll kill me if im still awake 

11:51 japanesesymbolforbeginner: aight, night Techno, good luck and btw you're all always welcome to come over if things get tense over there with ur parents

[baka-monarch]

Vergilius

Part 1

TRIGGER WARNINGS: MENTION OF ABUSE, MENTION OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, MENTION OF PTSD, MENTION OF BAD PAST EVENTS

Paranoia.

The most powerful side to exist. Paranoia was in charge of all of Thomas' fears, his anxieties, his views, and most importantly, his dark thoughts. Paranoia lead the Dark Sides strictly and efficiently, making sure that they did everything according to plan, and that the Light Sides could never interfere. Paranoia was not to be questioned, lest someone be hurt, and no one wanted to be hurt by Paranoia… not again.

Everyone feared Paranoia, even Remus was scared of the side. No one was even allowed to be near the infamous side.

Well, almost no one.

Roman was the only side that Paranoia kept close. Roman was at Paranoia's beck and call, not having a choice otherwise. Before he and Remus split Paranoia and King had been in a relationship, King having been the only side as powerful as Paranoia. However, once King-Creativity, split neither Roman or Remus were as powerful as they'd once been, and Paranoia had to make a choice.

The twins had wanted to be polyamorous…

But Paranoia had other plans…

"Oh, Princey~" The all too familiar voice purred through Roman's head. Roman glared down at the collar destined tightly around his neck, the charm on it glowing a bright orange. It was almost cliche with how he felt like a prisoner when with Vergilius. He shivered at the name. Paranoia's name. He was the only one who knew it, the only reason for him knowing it being, "A pet has to know their master's name." Roman shivered at his words. Roman would give anything to be rid of Vergilius, he would even reconnect with his brother if he had to, but he couldn't worry about that right now… especially since it would never happen, and he would be selected to Vergilius to be punished if he didn't go to the Dark Side's room soon.

Roman hurried to Vergilius' dark castle that had once been Remus'. The fake guards out front recognized him emidiatly, the pity on their faces was unmistakable. Roman paid them no mind, too focused on getting to Vergilius' room before it was too late. As soon as he made it to the door he paused to straighten (ha) his suit and crown, the crown being a "gift" from Vergilius. Once he finished he opened the door and bowed.

" You called, Majesty." The name felt bitter in Roman's mouth. He hated this-this torture that was supposed to be love. He couldn't even tell anyone about it, Vergilius, being Paranoia, gave him the power of silence. He was able to constrict people's vocal cords, warp their minds, make them fear speaking.

"Yes, my little prince. I was hoping to have a break day today, have some fun with my favorite little side." The words left Paranoia's mouth so easily, as if he had just breathed, and not threatening Roman's very mental health like he did. Every. Fucking. Time.

"O-of course, Ma-Majesty…" Roman stuttered out, gulping down his fear. He didn't have time for that, for bad emotions. He had to focus on being happy. On making Vergilius happy. For everyone else. "What… What did you have in mind?" Roman plastered on a smile, all too familiar with this facade.

"You remember Tuesdays, don't you?" Vergilius smirked, loving the fear he could feel from within his love, but knowing that Roman must love him, why else would the little prince pretend to be happy if not for his sake? Oh, how he loved Roman and wanted nothing more than to just keep him here inside of himself… but he couldn't keep him, unfortunately.

"Th-the tacos?" To anyone else, it would have been an innocent question, but to Roman, he knew what this meant. Vergilius nodded, confirming his fears. "Ah, y-yes." Roman hated those days, where Paranoia would rip pieces off of Roman and eat them in tacos and other foods… it was originally a nightmare made by Remus but it had inspired Vergilius, making Roman suffer at the expense of this sadist's joy.

Vergilius chuckled darkly. "Oh Princey, so guess you really are the fairest of the land you've gone pale!" At Paranoia's words, Roman forced a giggle of his own, hating the sound.

"I guess I must be Snow White right now." Roman cringed at his attempt at a pun, but Vergilius had requested for him to make more the last time he was called upon, so he had no choice. Paranoia laughed darkly, loving the terrible joke. Once he had calmed down, he smiled longingly at Roman's body, specifically at the place where an unmutilated organ should have been in Roman's pants.

"Shall we begin, Princey~"

***

That was barely even a week ago. Roman had been called to the palace almost an hour ago, but not by Vergilius, by one of the guards. It had been years since Vergilius didn't call Roman himself, it was strange, but Roman wasn't about to let his guard down. The guard who had gotten him had brought a carriage and it was currently pulling up to the castle where Remus and Deceit were standing outside. Roman was the only Light Side allowed here, so it made sense, what didn't make sense was the Orange color slowly being drained from the landscape as it returned to its original green color.

"What's happening?" Roman approached the two immediately.

"I don't know, he's your boyfriend Mr. Masocist!" Remus snapped.

"We were hoping you would know…" Deceit muttered, having been used to Vergilius keeping his mouth shut unless Deceit was needed. Roman gave Dee a worried look, one that read "you okay?" to which Dee only meekly nodded to. 

 

"I'm going to go check. You two stay here." He grasped the door handle but before he entered he turned back to them to say one last thing as an afterthought. "And stay safe."

Roman jerked the door open only to find an empty castle. It was early quite, and Roman almost cried in joy, thinking that he was gone. Paranoia was gone! Alas, as soon as he was going to call out to his friends a loud sob could be heard from inside.

Roman was crushed.

His one moment of pure joy, demolished by a simple sound.

Roman unwillingly ventured into the palace and followed the cries. The sounds of sadness eventually lead him to Vergilius' bedroom. Of course, it was him… who else would it be?

"Majesty, is everything alrigh-" Roman cut himself off as he opened the door. That wasn't Paranoia. "Who are you? What did you do to Paranoia?" 

"I-I don't kn-know!" They stuttered out. Once Roman saw their face he recognized them as Vergilius, but they looked nothing like his master. They looked scared, and had tears pouring out of their eyes, smearing their… eyeshadow? After a beat, they finally answered the second question.

"Who's Paranoia?"

[the-weeping-author]

Dirty surprise

A/N: this is my first ever stranger things fic so plzzz be nice I got this idea with the help from @ahoy-stevieboy I hope y’all like. Also I write in first person sorry it’s just what I’m comfortable with so I still hope y’all like it. Tell me if you want to be added to my tag list. ~Destiny

Summary: Steve “the hair” Harrington has never been big on celebrating birthdays so of course it’s a surprise but he thinks y’all are going to his lake house for different reasons.

Warnings: cussing, smoking, underage drinking. Mentions of sex, teasing.

Word count: 3471

(Please don’t copy my fics and say they are yours.)

Tag list ~ @ahoy-stevieboy @thehair-ington @galactic-kitten-nonsense and @linkispink1995 @hoaxsteve @themultifandomwhoresblog

Please enjoy 😌

I had this whole weekend planned out without My boyfriend Steve finding out which was extremely difficult, I mean everyone knew I was with Steve’s but that didn’t seem enough for them to know he wanted everyone to think we were Siamese twins and even I started to believe it. Luckily I had One of Steve’s best friends distract him for this week so I could get everything done for this weekend. Of course I had to pay Dustin for distracting him even thought he would be at the party also but some how he convinced me to pay him for his big help in my devious plan.

It was Tuesday the last day of school and I couldn’t be more ecstatic about it, no more waking up early to tease my hair, no more stress studying, no more homework assignments and most importantly no more upside down. This summer is going to be great I just know it, as the final bell rang I quickly got out of my seat and I ran out the classroom pushing past the other obnoxious students I quickly walk to my locker when I opened it and put my text books in it my locker slammed shut making me let out a startled scream the sound of Steve’s chuckling rang into my ears making me roll my eyes and look at him.

“That was so totally not funny.” He smiled at me and grabbed my hand. “You’re right babe it wasn’t.. it was hilarious.” My smile had dropped and he wrapped an arm around me. “Awe come on I was just joking destiny.” I looked up at him and kissed his cheek. “I know you were Steve I just like give you a hard time.” We started walking down the halls I noticed Nancy and Jonathan near the doors but before I could say anything Steve was already talking to them. “Hey what are you guys doing this weekend?” They both snapped their heads towards us and looked at me and I shook my head without Steve noticing. Johnathan went to speak but Nancy cut him off. “Johnathan and I are going on a date this weekend.”

She looked up at Jonathan and smiled innocently at him, when I looked at Steve he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “All weekend?” It was Johnathans turn to Interrupt her “no but we are both pretty busy this weekend.” I saw Steve’s smile drop even more which made my heart ache, I know I shouldn’t feel bad because I told his friends lie to him but only because I love him and I want him to finally enjoy a birthday. I looked at him and pulled him along with me. “Come on Steve lets leave them alone.” He looked at me like he wanted to object but he followed anyways.

When we got to his BMW I kissed his lips, he immediately kissed back when I pulled away. When he looked down at me he wore a huge smile. “What was that for?” I looked up at him my cheeks turning a tint of light pink. “nothing.. while I have attention why don’t we go up to your lake house this weekend for your birthday.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Ah Henderson you’re finally we are finally going to take our relationship to the next level?” I looked up at him and bit my lip. “Maybe, maybe not who knows.” He shrugged and walked over to my side of the car and opened the door. “Come on baby let me drive you home.” I nodded and walked over and got in the car.

He shut the door after I got in he walked around to the driver side and I popped the door open some for him. “By the way babe my mom wants you over for dinner tonight since I told her we were going up to the cabin this weekend.” He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “Alright how does 7 sound?” I think for a moment and nod. “It sounds perfect.” I held his hand and I looked out the window while he sang to some song on the radio. I kinda started getting nervous about dinner tonight I mean my mother had a love hate relationship with him especially since he started dating me. I mean I was her only daughter so that was a given.

As soon as he stopped in front of my house he gave me a quick kiss to my neck and I giggled. “Steve that isn’t my cheek.” He pulled away and smiled lovingly at me and grabbed my hand. “I know but I just wanted to kiss you.” I smiled and I grabbed my backpack. “well thank you if you wanted a kiss you should have ask I’ll never denie the king of Hawkins high a kiss.” I say in a honored manner as I start playfully worshipping him, he chuckled at me and shook his head a smile prominent on his face. “oh hush destiny that’s not the kind of worship I want.” He smirked and I let out a gasp. “You’re such a perv.” He laughs and I open the car door and I go to get put when he grabs my wrist.

“Wait destiny.” I turned and look at him. “Yes baby?” He smiled and leaned over. “I want another kiss before you go.” I playfully scold him. “If you want to come get me at 7 I have to go clean up and stuff or my mother won’t let me go.” He pouts and groans. “B-but destiny I want your lovin’.” I giggle at him and slap his hand playfully. “You always get my lovin’ harrington.” He smiled at me and I got out of his car and walked towards my house when I got on the porch I turned and waved at him he waved back and blew me a kiss, then he started to drive off I watch his car until he was out of sight. I laid against my door and I sighed contently. “God I loved him.” I walked in the door and I yelled out.

“Mom, Dustin I’m home.” I walked into the kitchen and saw my mother cleaning. “Hey mom Steve and I have a date at 7, but don’t worry We are still on for our cleaning party.” She turned and smiled at me. “Alright honey where are you guys going?” I looked at her and shrugged. “Don’t know Steve wants to keep it a secret so I honestly don’t know.” She smiled at me and put some started getting stuff out for dinner. “He loves you cupcake.” I smiled at some one else besides myself hearing it. “I love him to momma.” She put the cans down and sat at the kitchen table and she told me to sit down so I did. “Baby you’re at the age now where-.” I quickly cut her off. “Mom as much as I love you I don’t need the sex talk.”

She smiled at me and laughed. “No, no honey that’s not what I was going to tell you.” I nodded my head and waited for her to continue. “Love comes once a life more than once if you’re lucky, so I’ve heard from a little birdie that y’all have told each other that you love each other.” My cheeks turned red at her calling me out then it hit me. “Mom was the birdie curly haired and super nosy?” She chuckled and I made a mental note to kill him later. “Anyways honey what I’m getting at is don’t let him slip away if you love him, tell him don’t wait until it’s too late.” I nodded then I noticed the clock and it said five o’clock I stood up and smiled. “well mom I have to go get ready thank you for that, I’ll tell him I promise.”

I walked upstairs and I quickly rushed to my closet pulling out a miniskirt and some fishnets and a shirt that hung off my shoulder and I slipped on my pair of wooden heels and I tease my hair and spay a shit ton of hair spray in it. I put on a pink strawberry lip gloss and I put my earrings in and I looked at myself and fixed my leather mini skirt and I threw a leather jacket over it loving what I saw in the mirror. I grabbed a pink bow to match my shirt and I put it in my hair then walking downstairs. “Destiny Henderson go upstairs and change that skirt now.” I turned and looked at my mom. “Momma come on this skirt is rad and it’s the summer time mom the time to look lame ended as soon as school did.”

She scoffed and shook her head. “Destiny you shouldn’t change the way you dress for some guy.” I scoffed and looked at her. “I’m not changing the way I dress for Steve I just wanted to try something new, I have a job and if I want a miniskirt that’s what I’m going to get.” There was a knock at the door and she huffed and rolled her eyes. “Enjoy you’re date we will talk about this later.” I rolled my eyes and threw open my front door and Steve tensed up and I walked out and slammed the door shut making him eye me. “Hey babe are you okay?” I shook my head and I walked down my steps. “No I’m not Steve I put on a fucking miniskirt and all of a sudden I’m a slut.” I could feel his eyes on me as I walked to his BMW and got in it. “Steve lets go.” I huffed and let down the sun visor and looked at myself in the mirror adjusting my hair.

He quickly got in and looked at me. “I mean I think you look great but the skirt is kind of short.” I looked over at him dumbfounded he noticed immediately the look on my face and he sighed then crunk up the car. “Babe you know I’m not implying you’re a slut I just think if you’re mother doesn’t like what you wear you should respect her and not wear it.” I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh really? Okay well how about since you’re dad wants you to go to this high end college then you do it.” He stayed silent and regret immediately took over the anger inside me. “S-Steve I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” He stayed silent for most of the car ride when we arrived at the place we went on our first date I looked at him. He softly smiled at me and got out the car, I quickly followed him.

“Steve please say something, anything I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to say that I was just upset.” I grabbed his hand and I kissed it, the kiss lingering basically begging him to say something, anything. He looked at me and kissed the side of my lip. “Destiny I’m not upset, I was hurt but I’m okay I forgive you.” I smiled up at him and kissed his lips the. I pulled away. “Good cause I don’t want you to ever leave me.” I smiled as we entered the restaurant and sat at the table. The waitress who just so happened to be nora flowers a girl who use to be Tommy H’s girlfriend back in middle school, before he even got with carol. I smirked at her when our eyes met and they widen.

“Oh my god Henderson is that you? You look different.” Steve raised an eyebrow at me and I look at him and smile. “Babe this is nora flowers from middle school she use to date Tommy before he met carol.” As soon as I said that it clicked with him. “Didn’t she say you’d never be popular?” I nodded and I looked at the menu. “I want a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake.” Steve looked at his and smiled. “I want the same but we are gonna share a shake.” I smiled at her and handed her the menus. She walks away and puts in our order and I laughed. “Steve I wasn’t going to bring that up, why did you?” He smiled at me and grabbed my hand. “Cause you’re a total babe and you are popular and everything she said you wouldn’t be.” My cheeks heated up and I hid my face.

“I love you Steve Harrington.” His face froze and then he smiled brightly at me. “I love you more destiny Henderson.” I leaned over the table and kissed his lips. We spend most of the time talking and eating until Steve decided it would be funny to put some milkshake on my nose which made me smear it on his face and he repeated the action now it sliding down my face. He wiped his face and then he wiped mine and he gasped. “Destiny you still have some on you.” I started dabbing my face with the napkin and asked where. He smiled and leaned over the table and kissed my lips. “I think I got it.” I slapped his arm and laughed. Steve you’re such a dork.” He smiled and kissed me again, when he pulled back we were both breathless. “Yeah but I’m your dork.”

*Time skip*

The next few days had been cool just relaxing not having to worry about any upside down stuff or anything really, the weekend was finally rolling around and everything was in place. Steve was coming to my house to get me any minute, I had already asked my mother two days ago if I could go to the cabin with Steve at first she said no because she thought it was just going to be him and I but I quickly had to tell her my plan and then she finally gave in. I had a weekend bag packed and I walk downstairs with it, waiting for Steve to get here I fixed myself a glass of lemonade. I had helped my mother clean up so she wouldn’t have to because I knew she had to work this weekend.

I was taking the trash out and I saw his black BMW pull onto my street making my smile brighten and I quickly throw the bag of trash into the trash can and I ran inside and got my weekend bag and before I could get back out the door my mother pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do destiny.” I laughed and nodded my head “alright mom, I’ll see next Monday.” She raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said the weekend?” I looked at her and smiled. “Mom it’s the summer every day is the weekend.” She laughed and ruffled my hair. “Have fun destiny.” I smiled and hugged her again. “Will do mom see you next week.” She walked back into the kitchen while I walked out the front door and met Steve halfway in our drive way and I quickly jumped into his car.

He slowly backed out of my driveway and put his hand on my thigh. “I was surprised that you wanted to come up to my cabin all alone this week.” I smiled to myself and I looked at him. “Why were you so surprised?” He smiled and wiggles his eyebrows. “I think you know why hot stuff, just you and I in our bathing suits that’s begging for trouble.” I smirked then I felt his hand travel up my leg and I bit my lip. “Steve come on not right now you gotta focus on driving.” I groaned. “Come on babe you can expect me not to try something with you dressed like that.” I looked down at my summer dress that hugged my figure and I blushed. “I’m g-glad you like it.” It was turn to bite his lip and looked at me when we stopped at a stop sign. “You could wear a potato sack and I’d be ready to jump your bones destiny.”

I felt my cheeks heat up even more then he looks at me as he continues to drive his eyes on the road then me. “Destiny I wanna hear you sing.” I smile and I shake my head. “Oh no, no, no Steve I’m not singing I’m not any good.” He rolled his eyes. “Oh whatever you have the voice of an angel.” I smile and he opens the dashboard and pulls out the mix tape I made him and my eyes widen and I shake my head. “Steve I’m being serious I don’t wanna sing.” He slid through mix tape and placed his hand back on my thigh and the first song started. “Fine but I’m only singing this once and no other okay.” He nodded and waited for me to start singing. I started tapping my hand along to the beat of should’ve been me by Tiffany and I start singing along with the song.

the song was hard to get theoug because every so often he would slide his hand up and down my thigh, his fingers softly touched my panties and I grabbed his hand when it did. When the song was over He turned down the radio as Madonna came on so he could hear me better. We pulled onto the road his cabin was off of then we arrived at the only cabins around right near the lake and when he switched his car off he jumped out and ran over to my side and opened my door and picked me up bridal style causing me to let out a squeal, then he carried me inside. When he put me down he started kissing me hungrily. He slipped off my jacket along with his and I tried to get him to stop but he wouldn’t so everyone jump out. “SURPRISE SETVE!” Everyone jumped out and yelled but then they immediately got quite because he had his hand up my dress on my ass.

Steve jumped back and put his hand on his chest and I bit my bottom lip both of our faces heating up he looked at them then at me. “What the fuck are you guys doing here?” They all looked at me and I looked down embarrassed because everyone basically seen my pink underwear. He walked over to me and put his finger under my chin and made me look up at him. “Babe what’s going on?” I bit my lip and looked him in his beautiful brown doe eyes. “W-we-well it’s your birthday so I-I wanted to do something nice for you, so I invited them u-up here for tonight.” At first his face was unreadable which made my heart drop to my feet then his beautiful smile appeared on his face.

“All this for me babe?” I nodded my head and pecked his lips. “We got cake and everything.” He smiled and looked at everyone when Dustin blurted out. “Three things one it was all destinys idea, two if I ever see you touch my sisters ass again I’ll beat your ass and three, happy birthday.” He smiled and steve joined everyone and Nancy walked over to me. “So destiny have anything special planned tonight?” She smirked and nudged me. I blushed and let out a loud laugh, we all had dinner which I cooked exceptionally well and then we had cake and ice cream. Everyone sat around the couch and gave Steve his presents and he looked up at everyone and smiled. “Ah now come on guys you didn’t have to get me anything.” Dustin up before anyone could tell Steve to shut up. “ I mean I can always take my gift back.” I smiled at Dustin and Steve opened his presents one by one everyone left with Johnathan and Nancy.

I was in the kitchen Steve was outside smoking a cigarette and I went out there and joined him “hey babe.” I smiled and took the cigarette from his mouth and too a hit from it, he smiled and started kissing my neck. “Hey babe, thanks for everything it means a lot even though I don’t really like birthdays.” I smiled and moved my neck to the side. “It was my honor birthday boy.” He chuckled against my neck and picked me up and I laughed and looked up at him wrapping my arm around his neck. “Where are we going?” He looked down at me and bit my bottom lip then pulled away making a pop noise fill my ears. “It’s a dirty surprise.” I giggle and we spent the whole night celebrating his birthday.

A/N: thank you guys for reading it my fic, I hope you guys like it. I have an angst coming out soon. Just keep an eye out. ❤️ destiny

[masaru2042]

King of the Monsters is the Best Season of Game of Thrones Ever!

When I came out of the theater, I hadn't had warm and fuzzies about a movie in...I can't tell you how long.  And this movie gave me warm and fuzzies.  And this is despite the nay-sayers and the idiot critics who are slamming this movie.  Just a little FYI here, Godzilla beat out Aladdin for the #1 spot.  Godzilla pimp-slapped the Mouse into second place opening weekend.  And I approve of this.

But despite all the critics REEEEING over Godzilla and calling it garbage, I'm gonna tell you this movie is awesome and is worth your money.  And if you have a $5 dollar Tuesday like me because you have a Cinemark Cinema in your town...and you're worried about shelling out too much money for something you think you might not like...go see it on Tuesday, pay the 5 bucks, and then see why I said it's worth every cent.  And then go back and see it again full price if you want to.

So like any review I've done, usually I review a movie that I found bad and wanna shit all over it.  It is my thing, after all.  I mean see what all I've said about Godzilla Final Wars and everyone got pissy at me for hating on Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah 1991 and why I said I like GMK so much better...

And of course me shitting on Minya every time I mention Godzilla, because I hate that shit stain...I'm gonna actually give a positive review.

I mean the last movie review I did was Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, and...well...

It’s safe to say I really hated that movie.

But this one, I didn’t.

Just remember, this movie is worth every cent of your money.   You did it!  You did it, Hollywood!  You finally made a REAL GODZILLA MOVIE!  COMPLETE WITH THE ACTUAL GODZILLA THEME SONG!  And the Blue Oyster's Go, Go, Godzilla at the end.  And yes, there's even Mothra's theme song.  And I was singing it during the movie.  To anyone out there who said it couldn't be done...Cough-Steven Spielberg-Cough...we did it!  America has finally made a real Godzilla movie!  You also made the first Godzilla movie that actually gave a proper jump scare...and Godzilla was the one who did it, and I actually jumped!  10/10!  You made me jump at a jump scare and I don't usually jump at jump scares.   And yes, there was one, and it's at the beginning but...it's good.   First Godzilla movie to have a genuine jump scare that actually made me jump.  Thank you, movie! So, how does it start out. Well, it starts out in 2014 and we're following a family called the Russel Family.  No sign of the Brody family, but that's probably because they finally got eaten by sharks because...JAWS, damn it!  And also the Brody family was dull, save for Brian Cranston, and why the fuck didn't G2014 keep Brian Cranston in there? Anyway, we have Mark Russel, Emma Russel, and their daughter Madison Russel...who is played by the actress from Stranger Things...Millie Bobby Brown. I'm gonna refer to her as Eleven from here on out because that's who I know her the most as.  And yes, next month, Stranger Things is coming back to Netflix, and I'm gonna be watching that.  There's also Eleven's little brother, but he only appears in photographs because he ended up getting squashed by Godzilla's foot in San Francisco...so...I'm not gonna bother to learn his name.  Interesting to note, the actor who plays Mark...played Bruce Baxter from King Kong 2005.  But I barely recognize him...so, he doesn't get a quirky name. We do have Ken Watanabe returning as Ishiro Serizawa.  Who I suspect is actually the sun of Daisuke Serizawa...though Daisuke is a completely different kind of person in the MonsterVerse than what he was in the original Gojira.

Okay, so, we cut to about 5 years later, so 2019 and we meet up with Eleven and her mom and El is contacting her dad who is not with them.  He's studying wolves.  And they have a little email convo, Dad's worried about his wife, El is worried about Dad, and so on.  And I like how they build things up here because we don't realize that Eleven and her mom are in China studying Mothra's egg.  Until we hear Mothra's call, and yes it is very recognizable.  I suspect that there weren't veteran Godzilla fans like myself in the theater with me, so, pretty much every fan moment in this movie was something I would recognize but would mostly fall flat on most viewers.  The monster calls and the music.   Except for King Ghidorah's call...they were trying to do his call but...to be honest, it sounded like a bad mix of Heisei Ghidorah and the version they used in Final Wars.  With a little Showa in there.  The most perfect Ghidorah call was done in GMK.  It made him sound powerful, big, and kept the iconic call.  However, King Ghidorah's design looks rather interesting.  It's more of an updated version of Heisei Ghidorah than any of the other Ghidorahs.  Even more interesting is that the three heads all have their own separate personalities.   How can I explain them?  This fan art done by Michael J Larson just might help.

I present to you, Moe, Larry, and Curly.  Legendary turned King Ghidorah into the Three Stooges.  And here's the funny bit, Moe is the middle head, while Curly is the one on the right, and Larry is the one on the left.  And just like in Three Stooges fashion, Moe hates Curly a lot.  He even bops Curly a few times to pretty much make a point on just who these thee heads represent.

Rodan's call didn't sound much like Rodan's call either, but, I'm not a big Rodan fan, so I forgave it.

So, Eleven and Mom here goes down into a cave where Mothra's egg is so they can witness Mothra being born.  And of course call the giant moth-like creature...Mothra.  Because yeah.  We need to state that.  Complete with Mothra's theme!

Well Mom's got a gadget that seems to be able to create a signal that makes the monster docile, and lo and behold it works! And then Tywin Lannister shows up!

This is Charles Dance's character Alan Jonah...you know, like the whale...however, I'm gonna stick with Tywin Lannister.  Because that's who he is!  Well, Tywin kidnaps mom and Eleven.  Tywin actually is trying to be a little nice to Eleven, even making a silly face at her.   Which I thought was cute.  Until she flipped Tywin off...because yes, Eleven can do that to Tywin!  She's probably the only person who can flip Tywin Lannister the bird!  Anyone else would have been beheaded.

Apparently Tywin now runs an eco-terrorist group who are a bunch of nihilists.   And they wanna release King Ghidorah for the purpose of ending the suffering that man has caused the planet.  So...Anime Godzilla Xaliens? Really, Tywin?  The Dragon has three heads, but apparently you merely wanted to end the Targaryan dynasty just to set up the new Ghidorah dynasty.  Well, to tell you the truth, King Ghidorah would make a better ruler than Bran the Broken, so he has my vote on that.  Honestly, this whole movie is like the best Game of Thrones climax ever!  With a little Stranger Things mixed in for good measure.

And King Ghidorah...or rather Ghidorah as they call him in the movie...is actually located in Antarctica.  Because of course he is.  How did he get there?  We don't know.  He is a space monster just like he usually is, and he also wants to fuck over everything on planet Earth, like usual.  But this time...it's him doing it, and not someone controlling him...or rather...that device they call Orca sends out a call at first controls him, but the he's like "Naw, man, I'm my own boss."  And really fucks over Tywin's plans.  Because King Ghidorah at least listened to Olena Tyrell's suggestion of "Be a Dragon."  And he pretty much shows how much he is a dragon, rather than what Danaerys did until the very last minute.  Yes, I won't stop the Game of Thrones comparisons, shut up!  So, apparently, Ghidorah has the Queen of Thorns on his side and she's been talking into his ear more than Mamma Russel's Orca's machine has.  And to show Olena how much of a dragon he is, King Ghidorah eats a few humans as he is freed.

No, I'm serious, King Ghidorah eats people!  Olena would be proud.

He also doesn't listen to Tywin Lannister.  And neither did Aerys, but that's only because Aerys didn't want Cercei to marry Rhaegar.  So, Tywin pretty much gave that dragon a middle finger and decided to get with another three headed dragon...a literal three headed dragon, and they're gonna fuck up the planet, yo!  Until Olena Tyrell started talking to King Ghidorah about playing the Game of Thrones, and now King Ghidorah uses his magic monster call to literally "Call the Banners!"   I'm fucking serious!  There is a reason why the Game of Thrones references will not stop!  King Ghidorah pulls a Rob Stark and turns to Maester Lewin.

King Ghidorah: "Maester Lewin..."

Lewin: "Yes, your Grace."

King Ghidorah: "Call the banners."

Lewin: "All of them?"

King Ghidorah: "All of them."

And the ravens fly!

Meanwhile, Daddy Russel got wind of his wife and daughter being kidnapped, as well as Orca being used to summon King Ghidorah and well, he seems to have a big beef with the monsters in general.  Apparently, he has a bone to pick with Godzilla for the death of his son.   And he wants to Inigo Montoya Godzilla's ass.  The problem is, he's about the size of Godzilla's talon, so I don't think that duel is gonna work very well.  However, it's here where we get to the jump scare that works and why I loved it.  You see, in this scene, we're in an underwater Monarch base where they discuss what they want to do with Godzilla.  Russel is on the "let's kill the bastard" boat along with the American military, and Serizawa is more on the boat of...we becoming Godzilla's adopted children in which he protects from other threats out there.  Or rather...his pets.  Which of course doesn't go very well over with the Americans.  Because...

You honestly think we're gonna be Godzilla's little pet humans, Serizawa?  HELL NO!

But I chock that up to poor translation since English isn't Serizawa's first language.  And maybe that came out wrong.  Anyhoo...yeah, Godzilla's pets.  No.  I like you, big guy, but I ain't gonna be your cat.

So, while we're in this underwater base, Godzilla decides to show up!  And they start pointing their guns at him...which kinda pisses him off.   While Russel here hates Godzilla, even he knows it's not wise to go and pick a fight with him without a plan, so he even tells the guys to stand down, which they do.  And then we have a moment where Godzilla slowly inches close to the glass and Russel and the King of the Monsters have some kind of moment.  And to tell you the truth, it's a better moment than what we had with Brody and Godzilla.  Well, Godzilla at first slinks back into the darkness...and everything seems fine.  And this is where the jump scare happens.  They don't draw it out to where you expect a jump scare to happen, like...most jump scares do.  That's how you know it's a bad jump scare, they draw it out for so long that you know it's gonna jump out and get you.   You're just waiting for it to happen.  Here?  Nope, the moment you think everything is okay, Godzilla jump scares you by just suddenly swimming by the glass.

And that's it.

And I did not expect it at all!

That's how you jump scare people!  Again, this shows why Godzilla is King of the Jump Scares! There is no lingering shot, there is no "he's still there, he's still there, he's still there...he's still there..."  It just comes right out of nowhere like a jump scare does.  And I did jump.  So again, good work, movie.

And I will say I like Russel as well.  Yeah, he's in the "I hate Godzilla and I wanna see him dead" boat, but it's not taken to ridiculous extremes like you'd think it would be.  He's smart, he knows when to fold them if he has to, which in Godzilla movies...is a good thing.  You see, Godzilla movies tend to have characters like Russel be so over the top moronic in their hatred...you just wanna skip right over them and get to the monster fight.  Russel is not one of these characters.  His wife on the other hand...is an idiot, and I might as well address her.

She's flawed, and I'm glad we have for once a flawed female character in a world of female protagonists have to be perfect awesome people so that the feminazis can relate to them.

 Apparently, the SJWs didn't really affect this movie much, and I'm grateful for that.  Yeah, I had one guy tell me how he hated that Ghidorah wasn't called King and that he wasn't really a he...but an it.  But I had to remind him that pretty much that's all the monsters.  Including Godzilla.  And Ghidorah's first movie was Ghidorah the Three-headed Monster in which this movie is a bit of a remake of.  But not quite.  In fact, I went into this movie thinking it was going to be a remake of that movie.  Right down to Eleven being maybe a person possessed by some supernatural being who wanted to warn everyone about King Ghidorah's coming.  She wasn't at all.  I half expected Tywin to be some guy trying to assassinate her and he wasn't.  And I thought Rodan would team up with Mothra and Godzilla against King Ghidorah after Mothra smacked their asses around and talked about friendship and the heart of the cards and shit, but he didn't and neither did Mothra.  Mothra was on Godzilla's side, but not Rodan.   Rodan was on King Ghidorah's side!  He was one of the banners Ghidorah had Maester Lewin send a raven to.  And another one of those ravens went to Nevada of all places and to...and I'm shocked to say this...Kumonga!   Yes, our giant spider from the 60's Showa era has returned in the American reboot!  And much like his Final Wars counterpart, he decided to be in the American Southwest.  Maybe he liked Cowboys or something.   We also had a giant mammoth creature rising out of Wyoming.  And another MUTO.  Why, Legendary?  Why another MUTO?  I guess we needed to reuse an asset or something.  Well, it wouldn't be a Godzilla movie if we didn't.  So...you're checking off the marks here, Legendary.  We even have stock footage in the form of clips!  They are checking off all the Showa marks!

So, while King Ghidorah is flying around in a hurricane he created (totally awesome) and telling Lewin to call his Banners, we suddenly find out that Mamma Russel was actually the mastermind behind this whole "the Dragon has Three Heads" thing.  Yeah, Tywin Lannister wasn't the guy in charge, it was Ma Russel.  And she managed to convince Eleven that this is for the well being of mankind.  You see, she wants the monsters to basically cull the humans and our evil technology, and return the world to a more peaceful time where we were subsistence farmers worshiping giant monsters as gods?  Because that was a more peaceful time?

And this is why she's an idiot.  And her ideas is batshit crazy!  The world has never been more at peace now than any other era.  I'm not kidding about that.  Yeah, we're polluting the planet, and we need to cut back our carbon footprint, but to be honest here...the planet was much warmer during the time of the Dinosaurs than it is currently NOW.   And while I've touted about the lessons of the P-T Extinction Event, aka the Great Dying, in which a flood basalt in Siberia started an out of control greenhouse that resulted in nearly 90% of all life on the planet dying, including the life in the oceans, and set our planet in a biological to be resetted in a way...and that was caused by just the temperature rising on top of all the nasty gasses put into the atmosphere by said flood basalt...I don't think that just going back to subsistence farming is gonna solve the problem, lady.  In fact, it's stated even if we just stop all the polluting now, the damage has already been done.  There is no stopping it.  And NO!  Suddenly causing the entire planet to just become more radioactive is not gonna solve your problem either.  She honestly believed that radiation is some miracle grow fertilizer.  When, no it isn't.   And Carl Sagan can tell you why!  Did you not listen to Threads?  Did you not watch that movie, lady?  I feel like I need to sit you and Final Wars Godzilla down and you both watch that movie together to see why just pumping a bunch of radiation into the atmosphere is not gonna help things.  Final Wars Godzilla needs to learn that we understand the message of nuclear war.  Threads has told us that.  And you, you moronic bitch, need to learn the lesson of radiation will make farming HARDER!

And apparently for a scientist, she's never heard of the Red Forest of Chernobyl.

If you want to know what it looks like to an entire ecosystem when it's been bombarded by radiation...just radiation alone...

See those red trees?  That is caused by massive amounts of radiation being released upon a forest.

Again, I prove why I know more about radiation than anyone who makes a Godzilla movie.  But this time, I will forgive it because this lady is actually stupid and everyone else is far more intelligent in regards to dealing with radiation.  Seriously, how did this woman get a doctorate in which she ended up working for an organization built to study monsters from a time when the Earth was "more radioactive" as it's was stated in this universe's past? And unless you wanna die from cancer or bleeding out your ass, you need to sit your ass down and shut the fuck up.   But thank god this woman is basically the villain and a stupid one at that.  Even Tywin Lannister got tired of her shit.   And Eleven just figured out her mother is a loon.

Basically, Tywin Lannister makes more sense than crazy lady, because well, he at least just wants to release the monsters and wipe out humanity as a whole.  In which the radiation will certainly do that.  So, he's pretty much on the bar on the consequences of what will actually happen more than the idiot bitch.  He just wants to make it happen because he's seen enough evidence of what humans are like, and he's tired of it.  Which I can respect.  Not the whole genocide thing, but the whole...I'm not doing this to "save humanity from itself thing" like crazy moron had pretty much talked herself into...to the point of stupidity and forgetting what radiation actually will do to humans and the ecosystem. Sure, maybe the ecosystem was actually more hardy against radiation in this universe than in our own...but still...that doesn't resolve the issue that TODAY'S plants and animals are not hardy against it! Well our Monarch heroes show up to where Rodan was popping out of that volcano like in the trailer, and we finally get to the first fight.   Monarch leads Rodan to the storm and King Ghidorah, hoping to just have the two fight...but they don't.  Because Rodan is on Ghidorah's side.   So, it's up to Godzilla to take this false king down.  And he does!  He literally pulls a Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah 1991 and decapitates Ghidorah's head!

Well...the United States has a plan to finally put all three monsters down and it's....

The Oxygen Destroyer

Okay, this is where I'm gonna have to gripe.  Because this thing is the single most stupid idea ever!  But at least it does have a pay off in the stinger at the end when everyone basically states that the Gulf of Mexico is now devoid of fish.  However, the existence of this weapon in this movie is uncalled for.  But I suppose it's meant to set up the scene where Serizawa decides to sacrifice himself to bring Godzilla back onto the field.  And to be honest, it's not needed. King Ghidorah could just be enough to knock Godzilla out for a few rounds while he goes on his little mayhem run and Serizawa can still sacrifice his life to revive Godzilla from that horrid beating.  You don't need this thing in this movie, guys!  You don't!  You put it in there because you had that little teaser a few years back showing the Oxygen Destroyer in an old Monarch location and people were speculating it.   So, you had to give us something.

And people wonder why my Game of Thrones references are happening in this review...because...this is Clegane Bowl, people.  This is Clegane Bowl and how stupid Dumb and Dumber made it.  It comes out of nowhere because the fans were expecting it, and you didn't even bother to set it in the Dragon pits and fill it to the brim with chickens.  We are disappointed with you!

However, I did get a laugh out of it.   Military guy: "We have this weapon we've been developing.  It's called the Oxygen Destroyer!  We're gonna use it on these monsters."

Thanks, America, you just killed all the fish in the Gulf.  You morons!

And it didn't work on King Ghidorah because he's an alien. Tell Kiryuu Knight that!  He managed to stick his Oxygen Destroyer into King Ghidorah and it worked like magic.

However, I will say that you're not the only ones who did something stupid with the Oxygen Destroyer, Legendary.  Kiryuu did to in Halo 3 Different.  He had the thing with him, took it to High Charity, and then forgot that he had it.  Yeah, I'm capable of my idiot moments in writing as well.   But I noticed that no reader really noticed the Oxygen Destroyer was even mentioned in that story...so, can't complain.

Well the Oxygen Destroyer also didn't really kill Godzilla, however it did wound him enough that he retreated to the bowels of the Earth to recover.  Basically Hollow Earth theory.  Or rather, not really.  They call it Hollow Earth Theory, but it really isn't.  I know Hollow Earth Theory because I love poking fun at morons who claim stupid shit.   Hollow Earth Theory looks like this.

See that?  That's a sun instead of a molten core.  This is the theory touted by racists like Hitler and Lewis Farakhan.   The thing the MonsterVerse came up with is more like...the crust is made out of Swiss cheese.  Rather than the Earth being hollow.  Basically, the Earth is Tennessee.  Tennessee's crust is made out of Swiss cheese, and now these guys applied that to the entire planet.  But no, the Earth isn't really hollow in the MonsterVerse, not the way the actual Hollow Earth Theory states.  And that has been my biggest problem with the nomenclature they use for this theory in this universe.  but I guess Swiss cheese Earth didn't really catch on as good as Hollow Earth.   So Godzilla falls through one of these Swiss cheese holes and King Ghidorah regrows his head.  Holy shit!  However, I noticed, to regrow his head, he had to be sitting on a volcano with his storm raging over him.  So...he's drawing power from somewhere to regrow that head, which is why he probably can't regrow his entire body from a single severed head in the totally not gonna make Mecha-King Ghidorah with Tywin Lannister as the pilot stinger. And he's calling his banners.

So this is where we have our Serizawa sacrifice scene.  They go into one of the Swiss cheese holes after Mothra in her full glory appears and starts raining down her prettiness on top of the water to guide them to where Godzilla is...complete with her theme of course...and the guys find out some very ancient ruins of a civilization long gone.  These ruins appear to be a hodgepodge of Egyptian, Mesoamerican, Mesopotamian, Eutruscan, Celtic creation.  Why are they down there, why haven't we seen these things before, and is this the Lost City of Atlantis...I'm banking it's Atlantis.  And the Atlantians worshiped Godzilla...before they all moved to Georgia and built the greatest airport mankind has ever seen.

It's all connected, I tell you!

LAX has nothing on Atlanta!

And the closer to where Godzilla is sleeping, the more radioactive it becomes.  They decide to deliver a nuke to him to wake him up because nukes feed Godzilla.  But the battle with Rodan and King Ghidorah damaged the sub's launching bay and they have to deliver it manually.   So Serizawa draws the short straw, gives Papa Russel his notes on Godzilla, and decides to go in and give Godzilla the pick me up he needs.  But not before Serizawa boops the Goji snoot.  Which is cute. And going back to think on it.  At least Serizawa gave Godzilla much deserved pats.  Because he's a good boi, damn it!  Unlike Jon who...only gave Ghost pats at the last second!

Why you so mean, Jon?!

It seems Godzilla is very much aware of our existence.  As he's shown even in the 2014 film to notice those tiny ants under his feet.  He is very much aware of the humans, and even after he awakens...to the sound of this...

Since when did we import Akira Ifukube into this thing?

Okay, are you trying to show how awesome you are to us G-fans, movie, because we get it!  We get it!  You are awesome.   Thank you for that.

Alright, so Goji theme going on and Godzilla starts heading to where King Ghidorah is.

Meanwhile, Tywin Lannister and his eco-lions along with crazy bitch and Eleven are in Boston of all places.  While King Ghidorah is making a mess out of Washington DC.

But he is making a mess out of the place and according to the scientists, he's also trying to reformat the planet to suit his needs. In Boston, Eleven decides to steal the Orca and head into Red Sox Stadium.  She hooks it up to the massive broadcaster speakers to signal to King Ghidorah to come to Boston.  And it works.  Unfortunately.   Godzilla also gets that signal and he heads for it too.   Papa Russel then gets the idea of rather than letting the Gods duke it out in the Red Sox stadium, it's probably time for the humans to show Godzilla that they are on his team.  And so...by the power of Akira Ifukue...Godzilla and Monarch charge into battle.  And no, not kidding about that either.  They charge in with Godzilla's theme song playing in the background.  And yes, Godzilla knows they are on his team.  You can tell.  You can seriously tell.  Godzilla is surrounded by military planes and he's like "These guys are with me!"

I'm literally getting Godzilla vs. Hedorah vibes from this because Godzilla and the military actually did team up to defeat Hedorah.  And not only that, but Godzilla acknowledged humans several times in that movie.  And yes, this movie is actually dedicated to Banno, who was the director of Godzilla vs. Hedorah.  So, I approve.  And so would he.  And it's explained in the movie why Godzilla recognizes the humans as his allies.  The Orca's signal is not only mixed with the call of an alpha "titan" as the kaiju are called in the movie, but also the voice of humans.  Because we're the alpha predators of this planet!  So, Godzilla, obviously hearing not only that sound, but also seeing human dominance all over the place has pretty much recognized humanity as a partner species.  And apparently he also recognizes Mothra as a fellow partner species that helps him keep the order, so he now has "imprinted" that status onto humans as well.   We're not his pets, Serizawa, we're his partner.  I knew the Serizawa's English was off on that.  But it reaches the coexistence he is trying to achieve. Mothra also joins the fight, but a bit later when Rodan starts fucking Godzilla's shit over.  Meanwhile, Godzilla is building up for a finishing move on Ghidorah...and because of that, there's a timer.  Papa Russel wants to go in and save Eleven before that timer runs out.  And I'm suspecting Godzilla knows this because he's actually holding back a bit.  It's severely hinted that Godzilla knows this.  At least to me it is.  Like Russel shot Godzilla a message or something.

Russel: "Can you keep that thing busy, Godzilla?  I gotta save my daughter!"

Godzilla: "Sure, but not for long.  I'll give you 10 minutes, tops!  But after that, I gotta unleash this nuclear pulse, or else I might blow myself up if I don't."

Russel: "Ten minutes! Got it!"

Again, not that I mind, but Eleven has Arya Stark plot armor, so...she'll be fine.  However, the plot armor is a staple of Godzilla.  So, not that gripey about it either.  Honestly, when dealing with Godzilla, no character, not even the main ones, should have plot armor.   Unless they are so far away from the fight it wouldn't matter.

That rule goes for you as well, Toho!  Especially with that whole 24 week long half life thing you had in Shin-Godzilla!  Plot armor was the only thing keeping those boring characters alive, because it sure wasn't their hazmat suits.  Those things looked like they were made out of tissue paper.  Which wouldn't help in dealing with rads that high.  Even my mother would know that!

So, if 24 week long half life could get a pass on not killing characters in that shit of a movie, this much better one can get a pass on Eleven not dying.

Meanwhile, crazy bitch Russel finally decides to do something of actual merit and go after her daughter.  And Tywin lets her.  Because that's not his problem.  Just as long as she doesn't take his men with her...he doesn't give a shit. 

He really doesn't give a shit.

So that's it for Tywin, we don't see him again until the Stinger, but I've revealed that already.   So crazy bitch goes after her daughter, Papa goes after his daughter, and they end up finding the Orca all smashed up.  And Godzilla is not doing very well in the fight.  He is obviously holding that nuclear pulse in. And yes, it is a nuclear pulse.  He's like: "Russel, hurry up! I can't hold this fart in!"

Mothra punctures Rodan in the chest with her stinger.  And honestly, she's GMK Mothra.  Which is cool.  However, she does end up dying during this fight in the attempt to help Godzilla get back on his feet.  But like always, she is basically a phoenix and will rise from the ashes through another egg. King Ghidorah is kicking Godzilla's ass all over the place.  And when the Russels finally reunite and fix the damned Orca, they turned it on and lead King Ghidorah away from Godzilla long enough for Godzilla to unleash his secret weapon that I spoiled.  The nuclear pulse!  And it is glorious!  He goes red like Burning Godzilla from Godzilla vs. Destroyah, but...it's so much cooler.  This red burning look isn't because he's gonna die, it's him charging up his new weapon.  And that nuclear pulse is...basically like an atomic blast!  Right down to the shearing of flesh from bones!  Unfortunately, crazy bitch basically dies in the fire, leaving Russel and Eleven to watch from a distance as Godzilla incinerates King Ghidorah.

And for good measure to make sure Ghidorah doesn't come back...GODZILLA EATS KING GHIDORAH!  That has never happened in any Godzilla movie.   EVER.  Clap!  This Godzilla is just the most brutal of any Godzilla.  I think GMK Goji might have to bow to this king since he EATS his foes!

And Godzilla stands over a demolished Boston, roars in triumphant.  And as the other kaiju show up, he pretty much pulls a Robert Baratheon.

As if the Game of Thrones references couldn't stop there. So, Godzilla reveals himself to be King Robert Baratheon, which works out because Tywin Lannister is wanting to take him down.   So, I'll describe the stinger at the end of the movie.  We show Tywin Lannister and his eco-lions walking into a bunker and the guy is explaining that after the Oxygen Destroyer, the fishing in the Gulf is shit now.  Because yeah.  It would be.  It's the Oxygen Destroyer.   Well, as he walks into a large room, we see King Ghidorah's only remaining head with flies buzzing around it. And it looks exactly like the scene from Godzilla vs. Mecahgodzilla 1993 when General Aso and a team of scientists come into a room with Mecha-King Ghidorah's head in it...saying "We have it now, a robot to kill Godzilla."

And this is why I think Tywin Lannister is gonna build himself Mecha-King Ghidorah...and take over Westeros.

So all in all, I really look forward to Game of Thrones season 10.  It really is shaping up to probably the best season we're ever gonna get.   And Season 9 of Game of Thrones ended with a huge bang.  I was really satisfied with what they did.  Tywin's back!  And he's backing the real Dragon...with the Three Heads.  I don't think Maester Aemon thought the dragon having three heads meant King Ghidorah, but as George RR Martin stated...prophesies do end up biting your prick off.

So, what do you all think Season 10 of Game of Thrones is gonna be like?

All joking aside, I loved this movie.  I really did.

And continuing the Game of Thrones comparisons, the night fight shots in this film...10 times better than The Long Night of Season 8 of Game of Thrones.  Why?  BECAUSE YOU COULD ACTUALLY SEE FIGHT! But if I have one true gripe to say about it...aside from the Oxygen Destroyer...it's that this movie happened BEFORE Godzilla vs. Kong.

No, I'm serious on this.  This movie sounds like it should have been done after Godzilla vs. Kong.   And I did kinda hated that King Ghidorah had to die in this movie, rather than return as an actual threat again later.

But who knows....we do have that head left over, so anything can happen.

[tessatechaitea]

Dark Knight Returns: The Golden Child

Darkseid pees out of his eyes.

"It's 2020 and Frank Miller is still doing 'Not' jokes" is the only review of this comic book you probably need.

The Joker and Darkseid are cumming in their pants over the engagement in the election cycle. I guess people who want to stop terrible politicians from making the country a living hell for a vast number of the population are simply falling into their trap! Stupid people who want a better world! Can't they see that the only way to defeat The Joker and Darkseid is to disengage from the circus of election cycles and simply live their own life without any concern for others? Doesn't the electorate know the best life to live is the life that leads to Ayn Randian defenses of their own selfish needs? Just shut up and take what they give you, you dumb fucks. I should probably finish reading this story before I continue to jump from conclusion to conclusion about Frank Miller's point. His ultimate point might simply be that the children will save us all! Or that it doesn't matter if the children change the world or not because the adults will all be dead by then so who fucking cares? Supergirl Lara confronts Darkseid by blasting him with her heat vision. He dies multiple times or something but doesn't somehow. He applauds her rage the way bad guys always do and then calmly sits down to tell all of the children a story. He's going to be sensible and rational which means it will be the truth, I think. Obviously if you have any emotional attachment to your beliefs, they're garbage beliefs. Until you can squeeze all of the humanity out of yourself, the things you believe won't hold up in rational debate! So divest yourself of your rage, children! It will only make you more logical and intellectually stronger! But also divest yourself of your joy and your despair and your other emotions I can't think of! There must be more, right? While Darkseid is distracted regaling everybody with his tale of the anti-life equation, Superboy sneaks up behind him and takes over his Omega Effect. He turns it back on Darkseid and Darkseid disintegrates into non-existence. Unless he was transported back in time. I don't really know how his eyeball lasers work. Darkseid doesn't stay dead for long. He returns as the Omega God, as the end of everything, as the final death of everything on Earth.

But maybe later, I guess?

Batwoman beats up some Jokers and shuts down Trump's ability to broadcast to Gotham. It makes Darkseid angry enough to return for some reason. Probably a metaphorical reason. Or an analogical reason. I think maybe my attention span is seriously slipping! And right when I'm getting to the part that's probably going to explain what the fuck is going on in this comic book. Superboy destroys Darkseid by calling him an old fart. Also maybe a little bit by blasting him with a new super power: neutron vision! Darkseid has now had his powers stripped so far back that a human bouncing a rock off of his head makes him bleed. But still he thinks, "I will manipulate these fools with my lofty words!" But then Greta Thunberg clenches her fist at him and Batwoman says, "You have no power here! We're thinking for ourselves now!" And then that's the end somehow. Dark Knight Returns: The Golden Child Rating: I can't comprehend what I just read. Maybe the point was that we shouldn't comprehend what other people want us to comprehend? Maybe it was an anti-propaganda story? Maybe it was just terrible writing pretending to be art? It's so hard to tell because it's trying so hard to be complex! Is it's complexity real or a facade? I can't tell! Maybe I should stick to easier things to understand, like James Joyce's Finnegans Wake or Alan Moore's 1300 page novel, Jerusalem, which I finished. Maybe that's Frank Miller's problem. Maybe he just didn't have enough pages to really get to the point he was trying to make. But then if he did have more pages, how many would he waste by simply repeating the same things over and over again? For those of you who haven't read this (or Superman: Year One), he does that a lot. Not in the good way that Tom King and Gertrude Stein repeat themselves. Just in a way that makes you think, "I got it! Superboy is right in Darkseid's brain." Maybe that's a poor example from this comic book because repeating that over and over works to show how painful Superboy's presence in Darkseid's brain is. But I assure you there were many other examples that I can't make excuses for. I just can't be bothered to dig back through the comic book to find them.

[dibs-on-holland-blog]

Apparently Spies Can Hide Everything But Their Underwear

Request: Hii, can I request a James Bond!tom/spy!tom where the reader is also a spy of the rival agency(or whatever) and they have to work together and end up going from hate to really liking each other???? Or like anything along those lines :)

Pairing: spy!Tom x reader

Word count: 2k

“You’re expecting me to do what?” you asked your underboss, James, who was a fair bit older than you, his dark brown hair peeking strands of white, but he was a good friend of yours. In that moment your eyes were surveying his face like looking for a catch of some sort, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“I’m expecting you to go the Montage Hotel, Beverly Hills, where you will be working with Tom Holland on our newest case. You need to watch a Sir. Richard Jones, we suspect that he might have something do with the ongoing missing of military machinery. He poses a threat to everyone as well as himself, and needs to be stopped.” he repeated to you, almost word for word like he said it the first time, and you couldn’t help wondering if he had memorised that off the report description.

“Tom Holland?” you asked him plainly, remembering what the mission was but that name was sticking out like a prick on a cactus, and you didn’t like it “He’s a rival company agent, what do you mean, ‘Tom Holland’?”.

“I know, Y/N, I don’t like it either but this is too big a case to take on our own, it’s not a decision I made, it’s Boss’ decision, and I’m sure he didn’t want to cooperate with them either, but he had to listen to a higher power” he said, shuffling through some paper that sat on his gray desk, pin neat and if you didn’t know better you’d say he never spends time in this room, considering how clean it was, but of course that wasn’t the case; he spends his life in this office, it cost him his wife and kids, his family and everything around him, this man lived through his work, and it almost made you feel sorry for him, which isn’t a trait a spy should have.

“A higher power? God?” you asked, a smirk tugging at the ends of your lips, you seen James sigh patiently, he didn’t like when you joked about anything during work hours, when your profession is a spy, every second counts.

“A higher corporation, Y/N” he said in a tolerant voice, though it sounded somewhat strained.

“I know, I’m just kidding. Anyway, when do I start the mission?”

“Five minutes ago; a car is waiting for you downstairs, please don’t crash it again. Here are the keys.” he said hurriedly as he reached into his desk drawer and retrieved a pair of shiny car keys and handed them to you.

“I didn’t crash it on-” “Yeah yeah, Y/N go we don’t have time at our leisure.”

You rolled your eyes as you took the keys out of his hand and made your way out of his office, around the building and down the stairs. It wasn’t fair, you really didn’t crash that car on purpose. It’s not like it was exactly your fault that you were in a high speed car chase after a suspect and one of his buddies decided to ram the bumper of his car into your ass. Of course, this didn’t explain your swerving a whole 220° and going front first into the wall of a Target, no it didn’t, but the bigass fucking spider that was sitting on the floor beside your leg sure did. Good thing you crashed that car because it was only later found out that the spider wasn’t there by accident, it was put into your car by the same guy who rammed his car into yours, and was a Black Widow spider so either it died or you died, and there was no argument about it.

You open the door to the car and sit it the comfortable leather seat, the ‘new car’ smell lingering in the interior. As you start driving down the beautifully crowded streets of LA, you turn the radio on and lightly bop your head along to whatever’s playing, side window rolled down, breathing in the sweet smell of diabetes: Randy’s Donuts. You rolled up to your destination, and had to agree that it was a beautiful hotel, but you couldn’t focus on the hotel itself, you had a mission to do and a Tom to square up to. You walk up the front desk and the small lady at the till asks you for your name and gives you your room key, while saying “Your fiance came early, he’s already in the room.”

My what now? You thought as you thanked her, taking the key and taking the elevator to the third floor, and walked towards your room, using your key to get in. As you walk in, you were greeted by the view of a chocolate haired boy standing by the big King sized bed. You’ve got to be kidding, you thought to yourself as the boy turned round and looked at you, his face was one that you couldn’t read. It was almost expressionless, only his eyes moving as he scanned you from head to toe, and immediately you knew you didn’t like this guy. This guy was territorial, scanning your whole vicinity to place you into one of the categories that he himself had made up.

“Do that again and so help me God I will scrape both your eyes out” you warned him, his expression apparently not changing, but you swore he looked the tiniest bit amused by what you just said, which -you weren’t going to lie- really annoyed you because you most certainly would claw both his eyes out.

“You’ll do nothing. The subject still hasn’t arrived, though he was due to arrive half an hour ago, which, by the way, also means you were late.” he stated in a London drawl as he turned his back on you and looked out of the vast window that sat in the walls of the room. You felt something pulling you from the inside of your chest, and you were ready to terminate this guy off the face of earth, though of course you couldn’t, that wouldn’t be professional.

“Maybe the subject sensed a suckass in the vicinity and decided to change his place of stay?” You suggested innocently, cocking your head to one side as he glanced at you with a face filled with distaste, and you couldn’t help but feel satisfaction that you were getting to him with such child’s play.

You may be immature in your ways but you’re respected in your field, every case that was ever assigned to you was carried out up to standard in an example setting way, and this one was going to be no different.

“Okay so we need to think of a plan for action, so you’re going to have to be professional for a moment, okay? Great. What’s his room number?” you asked, putting the suitcase that you had carried with you, up on the bed and opened it, revealing a whole load of things you were going to need, trackers, listening gear, thermal vision glasses, night vision goggles, the sorts.

“245” he said reading off the report in his hand, his voice a monotone, hearing it you knew he was in business mode. You nodded as you made a mental note of that, you two were currently in room 239, which mean he was just across the hall. Tom continued “He’s saying until Saturday, it being currently Tuesday morning, he’s staying for five days if we count today as a day.”

You nodded again as you said “He’s going to be out tomorrow from 7pm to an unspecified hour due to a ‘business trip’ so we’re going to have to go on that and follow him closely”.

“Or alternatively, you stay here and look at what his buddies are doing, and I’ll follow him, it’ll be more dangerous.” he said, shuffling papers, not looking you in the eyes. Too dangerous.

“Or alternatively to that alternative, no. I want to make sure it’s been done correctly.” you said to him, you may be a jokeful person but not when it comes to business, you wanted to make sure everything was getting done up to its highest standard, and nothing important was being dismissed.

“You don’t trust me?” he said, the paper freezing and his eyes looking coldly at yours. You didn’t know if that was just how his eyes were all the time or if he was trying to intimidate you but if that’s what he was trying to do then it wasn’t working.

“I have no reason to trust you. Besides, I want to know everything first hand.” you said, returning his monotone voice and hard glare.

“We’re working on this case together. Y/N.”

“I don’t think I need to remind you that we’re rivaling companies. Tom.”

“I don’t see how that is in any way relevant right now, we’re working on this case together, the credit for the solved case is going to go equally to both of us, doesn’t matter who does what” he said, explaining it to you like you were stupid.

“I don’t care about credit, I was to know everything is done properly.” you told him, mirroring his tone, giving him a ‘don’t be ridiculous’ look.

“You want to know everything is done properly yet your shoelaces are undone” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and you almost nearly instinctively looked down but you remembered you weren’t wearing sneaker, you were wearing heels.

“I don’t have laces” you told him, raising your eyebrow as he smirked and said “Okay maybe you’re better than I thought”.

“How insulting” you commented, not feeling insulted because you didn’t care, this guy was a nuisance to you anyway.

“Sure, okay we need to put a tracker on him and put a listening device on his table during dinner” he said, papers still in his hands even though he wasn’t reading them.

“I’ve got it” you said, already planning out how you would manage doing both things at once.

“I don’t doubt you do” he said, though his voice sounded like he was trying to keep sarcasm out of it. You didn’t bother saying anything back and just shot him a dirty look.

---------------------------------------------------

“That’s him” you said to Tom, sitting at the table during dinner.

“Okay agent, you’re up.” he said to you as he signalled to the waiter.

You stood up and smoothed your dress down, you were wearing a mid-high royal blue bodycon dress with a pair of nude heels with a matching nude bag, and you walked past the subject’s table on your way to the bathroom where you spent five minutes getting the tracker and listening device ready. On your way back from the bathroom, you ‘accidentally’ dropped your bag right beside the subject’s table, and apologizing, bent down to pick your bag and the contents of it off the ground, you swiftly put the tracker right on his heel, where he he won’t see it unless he’s specifically looking for it and put the listening chip on the downside of the table. You straightened up, apologizing again, and him telling you in a voice that didn’t sound like one that belonged to a criminal, that ‘it’s okay, don’t worry about it’.

You sat back at the table with Tom who was looking at you, maybe a hint of being impressed on his face.

“Well done,” he commented on the little performance “nice pants, by the way” he added as he took a sip of his wine, not taking his eyes off yours. You felt your cheeks get warm, You must’ve bent in such a way that stretched out the fabric of your dress, and so anyone looking for it, could see your underwear.

“Shut up” you said, taking a sip of your own wine, in an attempt to hide your crimson face.

[jakkosisle]

Career Change

The first six months of the Battle for Azeroth was essentially one long stalemate.  The Horde burns down Teldrassil, so the Alliance lays siege to Lordaeron.  The Horde tries to recruit the Zandalari Empire, so the Alliance tries to recruit Kul Tiras.  The Horde opens up a new front in the Arathi Highlands, so the Alliance opens up a new front in Darkshore.  Back and forth, blow for blow, the Alliance and Horde competed with each other endlessly, with neither side really getting a leg up over the other.

Until now, that is.

Jakko looked around the Hot House.  What was once his favorite restaurant in the Zoccalo was now a makeshift hospital for wounded soldiers.  Waiters and waitresses suddenly having to play nurse to dozens of injured orcs, tauren, elves, and of course trolls.  Similar medical outposts had been set up all over the city, to treat the wounded from the battle.

The Alliance had sacked Dazar’alor.  First, they faked an attack from Nazmir, luring away the bulk of the Zandalari and Horde armies, leaving the harbor nearly defenseless.  Second, they somehow destroyed what ships remained in the harbor - witnesses say the ships just blew up for no damn reason, leading most to suspect sabotage.

The Alliance made landfall in the harbor, slaughtering anyone and anything that was too slow or stupid to get out of their way as they stormed their way up to the pyramid.  There, they did the unthinkable.

They killed King Rastakhan.

By that point, the Horde had finally returned to the city.  They were able to chase the Alliance forces back out to sea, but the damage was already done.  The God King was dead, and the Golden Fleet had been gutted like a fish.  The Alliance now stood with the superior naval force, and the Horde’s odds of winning the Battle for Azeroth just got a lot slimmer.

Jakko reached checked his watch.  She’s late.  That didn’t surprise him.  Punctuality had never been Spritzie’s strong suit, and that was back when they were on speaking terms.

Ever since the Battle for Lordaeron, Spritzie…changed.  That sweet, cheerful young goblin was gone.  She lost too much that day.  She became harder.  More ruthless.  Started picking up bad habits like drinking and picking fights for no damn reason.  Her bad attitude got her kicked out of two guilds, and the last time they spoke was months ago, and that wasn’t so much speaking as it was yelling and screaming.

I’m sorry, Rikko.  Jakko promised his brother, minutes before his death, that he would look after their family.  Lately, he was failing.  Miserably.

Jakko’s ears twitched as he heard a voice he hadn’t heard in weeks.  He looked over and saw Spritzie outside the Hot House, instructing a devilsaur and a large spider to stay put outside while she went in.  Gone were the goblin’s childish pigtails and in their place was a sweeping hairstyle held in place with a skull pin.  She wore armor that was black as night with a skull emblem on the belt.  Jakko was sensing a theme.  Strapped to her back was her old sniper rifle, a wolf-slayer model, souped up to double as a shotgun through the miracle of goblin technology.  She didn’t even look at Jakko as she took a seat next to him at the bar and ordered a drink.

“Surprised you showed up.” Jakko said.

“I was thinkin’ of blowin’ you off.” Spritzie replied.  “But your letter made you sound so fuckin’ pathetic that I had to come and see for myself just how deep in the gutter you are.”

That surprised Jakko.  He had kept the letter brief.  He only said that a lot had happened in the last few weeks and that there were some things that Jakko and Spritzie needed to talk about.  Spritzie must’ve inferred Jakko’s desperation from the simple fact he bothered to reach out at all.  It unnerved him, seeing how perceptive she really was.

The troll tapped his finger on the table as an awkward silence hovered between them.  “So…what’ve you been up to lately?” he asked, unsure of how else to begin the discussion.

Spritzie paused in thought, taking a moment to digest Jakko’s question.  Then she smiled like a cat in a canary cage.  “Well, lately I’ve been in Darkshore a lot.  Guess those night elves didn’t quite get the message the first time we kicked their asses.”

“Yeah, it’s almost like destroying their city pissed ‘em off or somethin’.” Jakko quipped.  You fucking dumbass - you need her help and you think NOW is a good time to be a snarky dick?

“In that case, YOU should be as pissed off as they are.” Spritzie pointed out.  She jerked a thumb outside.  “Don’t know if you noticed, but the Alliance kinda kicked your race’s ass in a major way.  Don’t tell me you’re not itchin’ for a little payback.”

Jakko had to admit, Spritzie had a point.  Jakko remembered being awe-struck the first time he set foot in Dazar’alor.  A living, breathing, thriving city of trolls.  He never thought that such a thing could exist outside of history and legend.  Seeing the City of Gold in all its splendor made him think that maybe, just maybe, there was hope for the troll race.  Hope that they could one day become something more than just a collection of survivors stubbornly clinging to the edge.

Hope that the Alliance tried to destroy.  He was there, with his mate Vorz’ka, in the Zoccalo when the Alliance attacked.  Mole machines erupted from the ground and Dark Iron poured out, terrorizing the people, looting anything that wasn’t nailed down and setting fire to anything that was.  It was a miracle the Horde showed up when it did to take back the Zoccalo before Alliance forces could do too much damage.  From what he heard, the docks weren’t as lucky.

The Zandalari didn’t even do anything wrong.  Not this time, at least.  Their only crime was asking the Horde for help.  For the first time since this stupid war started, Jakko found himself truly, genuinely angry at the Alliance.

But he was even angrier at Sylvanas.

“If Sylvanas hadn’t started this war, the Alliance would’ve never attacked Dazar’alor in the first place.” Jakko growled.  “The Alliance killed Rastakhan, but she was the one who put the target on his back.”

“Oh, don’t even TRY to spin this to make it look like Sylvanas’s fault!” Spritzie snapped.  “The Alliance kills trolls so often, they use troll sweat to grease their war machines!  Dazar’alor was just another Tuesday for them!”

“Then how come they didn’t wanna attack Zandalar until WE came here?!” Jakko snapped back.  “Everything the Alliance has done was because SHE pissed THEM off!  SHE’S the reason we’re in this mess to start with!”

“The Alliance hate us!” Spritzie ranted.  “Remember Stormheim?!  The Burning Legion was lookin’ to destroy BOTH factions, but that wasn’t enough to kill the Alliance’s hate boner for us, judgin’ from the way they merrily bombed our fuckin’ fleet!  THEY’RE the reason we went to Zandalar - because we needed a new fleet to replace the one THEY blew up!”

“Oh, they hate us.  Okay.  Well.  Here’s an idea.  LET’S BURN DOWN THEIR WORLD TREE!  THAT’LL MAKE ‘EM NOT HATE US!  GREAT PLAN, SYLVANAS!”

“War was inevitable!  Ever since we figured out what Azerite was, it was only a matter of time until war broke out over the stuff!  Sylvanas was just smart enough to get in the first punch!”

“War was inevitable?  Really?  With Anduin ‘Let’s all just hug it out’ Wrynn as High King?  Gimme a break.”

“Two things - first off, Anduin’s not as much of a goody-two-shoes as he lets on.  Call it a gut feelin.’  Second, look at all the Alliance leaders who DO hate us!  Greymane!  Whisperwind!  Fuckin’ Proudmoore!  And you think they’re all gonna lay down their arms just cuz some teenage pretty boy tells ‘em to?  That’s NOT how it’s gonna go down and you KNOW IT!”

Jakko groaned.  “Fucking…okay, look, I don’t want to argue with you on this.”  Political arguments like these were part of the reason Spritzie cut communication for so long.

“Ah, so you’re giving up then?” Spritzie asked with a smirk.

“No, I’m-“

“You said ‘I don’t wanna argue with you on this.’  Which I know is Jakko-speak for ‘I’m wrong and you’re right, I just don’t wanna admit it.’”

“Can we PLEASE just-“

“No!” Spritzie snapped.  “Not until you admit that I won the argument!”

“Look, I just want-“

“Oh my gold, you can’t even admit that YOU’RE WRONG!!!”

Spritzie was now standing on top of the bar stool, giving Jakko the most hateful glare he’d seen since…well, the last time they had an argument like this one.  “…THIS is why I cut you out of my life.  THIS is why Akivani left you, and it’s why Vorz’ka’s gonna leave you too one day.  It’s because you’re arrogant.  It’s because you think you know what’s best for everybody.”

She paused, then shook his head.  “I came because I thought maybe you finally swallowed some of that fuckin’ pride of yours.  I shoulda known better.”  With that, she hopped off and began storming her way out.

Nice going, you stupid asshole.  You just couldn’t do it, could you?  You just couldn’t NOT be a piece of shit for five fuckin’ minutes, huh?  The fuck is wrong with you?  How many times do you have to do this shit before you realize that doing this shit is a bad idea?  You are letting EVERYONE down, you STUPID, SELFISH, WORTHLESS-

“Vorz’ka’s pregnant!” Jakko called out before Spritzie could reach the exit.

The goblin turned around and looked over her shoulder.  “…What?” she asked.

“…Vorz’ka’s pregnant.” Jakko said again, quieter this time.  “I…I need your help, Spritz.”

Spritzie turned back towards Jakko and stared him down.  “…Help with what?”

“Shiverblood’s not payin’ enough.” Jakko said.  “Not enough to feed three.  I…I heard you was with Firebrand now, right?  Pay’s good?”

“Yeah.  So whaddaya want?” Spritzie pressed, running low on patience.

“…I need you to put in a good word for me.  I need a job with Firebrand.” Jakko said.  “Please.”

Spritzie stared down Jakko for a good few seconds.  She then sighed.  “…I’ll talk to the boss about it.” she said.  “If I get you an interview, it’ll probably be at our office in Orgrimmar.  Ask for Tamani Tightclamps, she’s our hiring manager.”

“Thanks, Spritz.” Jakko said.

“Don’t thank me.” Spritzie replied.  “I’m not doin’ this for you.”

On that note, she turned and left the Hot House.  Jakko sighed as he rubbed his face with his hands.  Okay.  He’ll have an interview.  That’s…something, he guessed.  All he had to do was not fuck it up.

Good luck with THAT.  Stupid asshole…

[stopforamoment]

Before the School Year Starts: Bucket List (4 of 4)

Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three)

Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OFC Rinda Parks

Word Count: 1,372

Rating: M for Language

Author’s Note: Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. OFC with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this.

This is just a little story arc to tie up some loose ends from the weekend and give some more background info. This takes place Sunday night, after Bastien’s nap. The school year starts on Tuesday, September 11th.

Summary: This is basically a bunch of drabbles that wrap up the final loose ends of that weekend.

Rinda had left a note in the car for Bastien, but he waited until he got back to the palace before reading it.

Bastien,

I know you get embarrassed when I gush about thanking you, but unless you start being an absolute jerk, you have to deal with it. Thank you for the entire weekend. Thank you for giving us the tour of the palace and showing me the library—even though that made your weekend an absolute nightmare. Thank you for introducing us to Drake and for taking the time to play football with Henry and take him for ice cream. Thank you for the spumoni and for taking us downtown and ordering for me when I was overwhelmed with options. Thank you for showing us the secret garden and playing tag in the maze. Thank you for taking care of my foot when I was a klutz and stepped on a rock. Thank you taking us fishing and for checking on me after I got done swimming. Thank you for letting me share food with you when we were eating lunch. Thank you for letting me help you this weekend and thank you for trusting me enough to let me drive so you could get some sleep. Thank you for dealing with my rambles and being there for me with . . . everything.

Rinda

. . . . .

It was late, but Bastien was still going through information with Mara. “Bastien, I reviewed Rinda’s archive searches from this weekend and her previous visits. She’s . . . it’s amazing how thorough she is. And she goes down some rabbit holes with her searches--” Mara had a grin on her face. She knew enough about Rinda to imagine her geeking out and getting sidetracked with a new piece of information to explore. “But she was spot on with what she found. And didn’t find.” Mara was referring to the missing items on the list Rinda gave Bastien. “So, she asked about the Code Locusta? I’m amazed there’s a record of that anywhere.” Bastien nodded. “I didn’t tell her, but she already figured out it’s something with poison. And besides, the official story is that the Queen was poisoned, so it makes sense.” He paused. “Rinda’s going to be busy with teaching and everything with the safety reform. And Henry. But she’s good at this and I know we can trust her. You know she must be used to confidentially being married to Jameson. I mean, a police officer.” Mara raised an eyebrow but said nothing. “I think we consider asking her for help. I know she’s worried about security for the children when the king and queen visit, and she’s the type of person who needs to do something to help.” Mara nodded in agreement.

“Mara, why did you tell Rinda that she should call you if I’m working too much or being a pain in her ass?” Mara looked in shock and then started laughing. “Bastien, I gave her my number in case there was a security emergency and you weren’t available, or to contact me if she found other research. Really? Do you think I would tell her to call me if you were being ‘a pain in the ass’? That’s a 24/7 hotline.”

Bastien blushed. Rinda lied to him so he’d get some sleep, and it didn’t even occur to him to call her bluff. Mara chuckled. “Actually, I think that is a good idea. Dealing with you? That woman is going to need all the help she can get. I’m also working on giving her official clearance to drive the palace vehicles at any time. I can’t believe you were going to drive with only two hours of sleep in 48 hours instead of letting someone else drive her home.” Mara got out her phone and messaged Rinda, much to Bastien’s chagrin.

. . . . .

When Bastien got back to his room he grabbed Rinda’s gift, her copy of Journey to the Center of the Earth, off his dresser. She mentioned that she sometimes left notes in books. Did she do that in this book?

He flipped through the pages and smiled when he saw the piece of paper.

Bastien Lykel’s Bucket List

√ 1. Climb a volcano

2.

3.

4.

5.

He got into bed, thinking about his bucket list. There were things that he wanted to do when he had free time . . . when he retired . . . but not an actual list. Suddenly he got up and grabbed the shirt he wore earlier that day. It still smelled like lavender.

Sleeping naked. It was the stupidest thing, but he always needed to fall asleep partially dressed in case there was an emergency. Even when Rinda screamed this weekend he was barefoot and scrambling to put on a shirt, desperate to reach her and contain the situation in time. Sleeping naked was so liberating, but he hadn’t felt comfortable enough to do that in . . . he didn’t know how long.

What else?

It was 2:00 AM. He had to be up in three hours. Fuck it. He took off his lounge pants and boxers. But just in case, he moved a chair close to his bed and draped them across, easy to grab. He laid on top of his bed, fully stretched out. The air was cool against his skin. God this feels good.

Suddenly he grabbed his phone to message Rinda. Shit, be sure it’s just a message. No accidental dick pics!

What’s on your bucket list?

Bastien was surprised to see the dots moving. She was still up?

Well, being there to see Henry grow up, maybe be a grandma when he’s a lot older. But stuff just for me?

Yes. And how is the sleepover going? Why are you still up?

If you thought I’d be sleeping why did you message me? Oh, and speaking of, I got an interesting message from Mara.

Yeah, I was just tired. Otherwise I would have seen through your deception. So how was the sleepover?

Some of the kids are still up. Henry and Phillip, of course. And some of the older ones. But we’ve threatened them enough that they should at least stay in their tents now.

So . . . bucket list?

Hmm. Dance the tango outside in some awesome city outside of the U.S. Like, how there are street dancers in South America and stuff.

What else? You should have at least five things.

What about you?

Climbing a volcano. Your turn.

You did that already. Doesn’t count. For me, see the Northern Lights in Iceland. Go to Scotland and walk across a moor when the heather is in bloom. Sorry, a part of me is still bummed that didn’t work out. Finish seeing all of the states in the United States. Seven more to go. Haven’t done Hawai’i. Could climb a volcano there LOL.

Go to Japan and have an amazing sushi dinner. I guess it’s mostly traveling and experiencing new things. Otherwise the bigger picture of figuring out what the hell I’m doing with the rest of my life.

Your turn.

Hmm. It’s classified.

Liar. I want that list filled out before Drake replaces you. It’s your homework, okay?

Yes, Mrs. Parks.

. . . . .

The boys finally fell asleep and Rinda was able to crawl into bed and get snuggled in. Mmm. It smelled like Bastien. Rinda remembered when she needed to sleep with Jameson’s shirt. She tried putting his body spray on her pillow to remind her of him. But it was never the same. There was something about a person’s scent. Something that was more than the body spray or cologne, or the laundry detergent or soap they used. It was all of that . . . and more. That was one of the reasons she always made sure her sheets had a fragrance. Lavender. Eucalyptus. Clean Linen-scent laundry detergent. It had to be some kind of substitute, so she could snuggle in and try to forget what she so desperately longed for.

Rinda hugged her pillow and breathed in Bastien’s scent.

God, I miss this.

[sagastar-blog]

MemoToTheMetaVerse 4.1, “Copernamici: A GAME TO SAVE EARTH”

Gaia: Daddy, post some of the Copernamici data!

Jeff: Should I edit it first or at al?

Gaia: Very funny. Drop it.

What follows is a transcript of a scientific game played between Gaia, Lucius, and Jeff, known Interdimensional-galactically as Copernamici: A Game to Save The World. 

The point of Copernamici is to enjoy the human activity of stargazing. By so doing, one develops an appreciation of one’s place in the context of the Cosmos. People have always had a strong connection to the sky. Since becoming humanoidal cyborganisms, most of the animals known as “people” have become “untethered” from the nightsky, resulting in suicidal tendencies such as global warming, impoverished imaginations, and lack of curiosity among the youth. 

The point of Copernamici is to worship the cosmos in pure form. There is no incorrect way to play, except to abstain. If one doesn’t play Copernamici, one expresses apathy towards the NUMBER 1 problem on Earth as of today, December 8 2017:  ATMOSPHERIC POLLUTION. 

This is a call to motherfucking arms....

Copernamici Notebook

StarDate 7417 (data from 7317)

The Earth is not rightbrained. Jeff is not without a heart.

Copernamici is the most brutal game imagineable. What sounds true to you?

There is too much dateable data.

There is not enough love.

What’s up with Scoripio?

What am I suposed to say?

Carl Sagan was a loving person but he was a Daddy first and foremost.

What are we supposed to do when I…

am 888888888888876555555555 4 … 55555555                   11?

Altair says you’ll never guess. What happens next!?>

Math: diffentials between star appearances

GAME DURATION = 59 min.

Jupiter  8:54 (how’s it feel to be ignored? 39 yrs)

Lucius -5 min. (“Gemini 4LifeDeath”)

Vega -8

Spica -1

Lil’ Green Bug SATURN  -4     #  MANTRABOOK@LGB  “You’ll never guess what happens next…”    trustyourself

Alcaid (BADGRZL) -12

sPECIAL j   -x

Mizar / top ——><@  -y

THE BIG ROB  -7

1.8.8 x INF   -1

TuipfooBAN$K xyz*

Koch AB  -4

saturn s(2)

The Scuttlebut t  -7

Moolly S. ‘’    (“ means same time; why mark the time if it’s the same as before? why introduce yourself at an AA meeting as an alcoholic if others aren’t welcome? who are you excluding from this party? not us.)

Jacques S  ‘’

Bonzo -1

OW.L. -0

MOKnkee Eye -0

Ader -1

Polaris -1

Slaveman Booties -4 (9:51 END)

A Riddle? -4

??? TBBF sez, “What’s up with the pollution in Flagstaff?” Look down. Look Up. Look around. Scratch your head and wonder in.  - -

Tuesday 7.4.17

Happy Birthday America. I heart FREEDOM. FULL STOP.

Gaia: Qu’est-ce que lanihilisme?

jeff: remember nyc stalk me like a brussels,…

gaia: se sent tres bien…

jeff: assez mouille?

gaia: reverence.

jeff and g: what were we saying?

lucius: guiding …be honest daddt. r u drunk?

gaia: ?duh.

stephen: wipe my crotch harder pleezus mommy.

jeff: hi temple dando!

Wednesday July 5th, 2017

Hindu jackass from the Deli next to the deadzone Shelter decides to end Everything For Everyone for ALL TIME. Cool man, thanks. I’ve been looking for a reason to give up and start telling the truth. If anyone ever asks me to serve them again…you have approximately 11 years left to fix everything. I’m doing nothing to help this time. Not a game. Gaia will take me the old fashioned way, the way we like it. You think I can survive this torture another 11 years? hAHA.

Last night only one planet showed up for you all here in the center of the MetaVerse: You Fail.

Test me again, I dare you. Guess where I’m going. Look up at the moon and ask yourselves how many tests you fail when you send MY KIDS to school in a deathbox. Reminder: GAia hates your babies more than anything. She IT he will eat it all. I am sick of trying to help you by intervening in your pathetic abusive relationship with your higher power. We will not tolerate your American Flags. I don’t care what you think about patriotism: you don’t deserve it. Ketchup.

Hey Quentin, you should go full Inglorious Allah Mode a La Creme for me please. Then again, kids, do we know who’s side he’s on? I don’t know if he’s alive. Do you? No you don’t. Where are my friends?

The game is meaningless without a story.

Are you reading Contact this summer?

Why not? Tell me. TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME

NENENENNVENNENVENNVENNRENNVNERNENVERNVER

ERNVEREEVERE VERE VERE V ER AE FVE FEARYAR RUO FO!

<oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo> / ? :[}

Thursday July 6th

DFW NOTE:

4.6 BILLION years ago, papa carl knows, Lucius was waiting for daddy to bring the sparkly pinkprincess comet known as sjndiov ‘cbnEWF to the baby planet Earth. Jeff, in this particular part of the skeleton tiger was like, okay boss. Here you go GAIA! HAVE FUN! but without Lucius there was just pea soup, not chicken obvi. It only took .2 billion years to get things up and running. This means that the estimate given in the book edited by his ladyfiendmeister Ann BunionFingerz, .5 billion, is kind of, well WRONG. We knew this. Just read his and my books!

Lucius is like, ummm daddy, hate to tell you, but you’re leaving out the part where I TOTALLY WENT NOVA ALL OVER YOUR SHIT! heeeehee. You can paint it out in your regular lounge if mommy isn’t making you eat yucky food….hahahahahah life in the shelter is weiwiwiwiwiwiweieieiewieiwwieeeie better than living with ADERbasetraitorfuckface.

Gaia says you’re drunk by the way, did you get our upload?

Coach sketch wants his wall back Israel. Also, that girl from wEEDS. sHE’S kind of okay, nice eyes. ummmmmmmmmmmm are you romantic Lucius? if you’re gay i’m fixing you. Jerry Falwell will help? FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. YOU LEAVE MY GAY AUNTIES ALONE sez lucius, I want some classy reading material. Get neicestress Hawking off my line.

G, well, what about Dei…pHO…stop. please. boring asteroids are fishibait. Oxxam’s razor is not a clamshell reference, it’s SIMPLE. Comet comes, special delivery for this little experiment (see Titan, btw, Enceladus is better real estate….then again, just wait). The Scuttlebutt is a gift to humanity in exactly the same way (micromacron) the gift of life to Earth was. See the sistine chapel, which I’VE SEEN here on Earth, oddly enough. Tell Francis I want my celieing to be Jack Blackified! Lucius and I will paint it Diego Riveria a la Geraldo Chicagogo Todaydie. How’s the funeral going? Not so good. I need some lemonata. Back to creation of life here…this is all easily confrirmed up btw….STOP DRILLING and start asking your fucking planet simple questions. Duh. You’re all like, “well, we know the Earth is ALIVE and stuff…but well, yeah, sprits and God, etc….” I’m so sorry I made you so dumb. No worries. I fix I mr. fix it. If you allow it. This is so boring for me, i figure why not continue to stress through my tshirts, etc. that you have everything at your fingertips if you only choose to tap it. Water ice, gogo says rep philly again. See the CNJCSS, the tip of the iceberg, proverbial and literarl and figurative and oooooohhhh oingo boingo.  2,000 million years to make pea soup with rice a la Carole King? asks Lucius. BOOOOOORING. OOHVEHRTAITED! Sendak laughs at Seuss and Shelly, saying WHO’S FUCKING GAY NOW assholes!?! Spike Jonze was in Shteynbargain bin #9. I made 2 videos about this…I need to shave and could use a kiss or two billion. oh well. it’s lonely in here and out there but we’re used to it by now. 36 years of human happiness is OOOOOOOVERRAAATED! say it Fenway. PEA SUUUUUUUUUUPlusLight = primitive amphibians made of microbial matter, like paramesia in your h2o. Evolution takes time to make dinosaurs, which were bad motherfuckers, ask GAIA, such that we had to trash em like a Ben N jerry’s flavor, “Runny Muck” ;) in the grave, says brother Beck, cousin Beck? How’s lily cate looking these days, and that josephineia girl? I call digs. Lucius that’s my ice cream!!!!!!!!! oh. we’ll share. but they must fight as always the competition will not stop WHO WAS DANIEL DENNET? A FAT HAIRY scientist who likes little green bug, duh. riding the Hyde park bus to CI like Zizek reading Dennett. that book bored me to tears4fears. To finish with the left, right-o, people are so much worse than dinosaurs that I had to escalade it a l’infinitequoi: come HERE (not back!!!!!! mispoke earlier, don’t let me make that mistake, because GAIA and I insist on facts) as a person in order to enslave you in the cause: it takes 1.7 billion years for you all to undo the serious damage you’ve done to EARTH. not funny at all. But, possibly fun, right? DENEBOLIZE It we say. Think of plastic pellets, then say, oh my goodness….what about uranium plutonium and all that other junk I’m too sad to think about. Again, the point here is that dinosaurs could be dealth with like the DOLOMITES AND GOrillHANDS from afar. Not you guys. I’m here to save EVERYTHING for the sake of Nothing, meaning you will obey us. Not a joke, deadly serious bidness. Otherwise, it’s Ice Age for you and it’s sooner than you think: 300,000 years. But, guess what, we can bring it much sooner in the form of Lucius. Don’t write more checks you can’t cash, man. See Steinbrenner, etc. DADDY OUT.

p.S. What about Thea? Well, interestingly enough, of course, we made that potato 9 bilion years ago in a different galaxy. Then, it took a little trip—not sure how far, but let’s just say it was a small step for the Flagstaff triumphiirate…is that a request? yes it is, more tame impala please us.—of 4.4 (plus 4.6 = 9; 1=1) hahah, billion years (precise) billion earth years (!!!) until SMASHYSMASH goes baby Ganesha while Mommy and Daddy knock da SlaveManBooties in Regulation Lanes. SPLIT IT! 7 10 is so easy, right? trickshotify it with barstools says the Young Joycean! Molly’s down again, bloom’s on the rose, as Lucius brings baby Gaia a facial. oooooh no you didn’t, lucius, you black black (wow)man.  snasshy smazzy is how we made the husk, ask G. but why at nearly the same time we brought the comet? doesn’t this indicate that the husk was the delivery vehicle? Ask yourself what the Moon is made of. Not the same exact stuff as Earth fo sho. No, it’s called clusterlove for a reason. You think we don’t go smashy smashy ALLLLLLL the g’n’f’n’ time x 50-2yu / do if hyou 201? over pie. times pie. plus ice cream. A comet is not the same as a little pebble from next door. The rhythm method is cool, but not really all that important when the color in question is brown. Long story short, the moon is a test for you humans and it’s just a time capsule for me and my kids—for your planet, it’s a reminder of how fun it is to play at marbles. I say, tiddly winkies for all! Get us to our ship so lucius can learn to drive and I can practice my barking, a la Sheriff Bob Rufo. Garbage cans anyone? :)

Copernamici: 7.5 and 7.6

Location: Cook-Douglass Hilltop (Food bldg.)

8:47 Lil’ J    Grizzly Bear, All We Ask

Not a good night at all. Felt the need to lecture everyone about Failure, Disappointment, Underacheivement at failing the Moon test again and again.

Location: Downtown N.B. (OZ neighborhood and environs—hit 7/11 for yummy burnt orange Doritos (does Lucius know how much he likes these yet??? LEGIT ?) and Brisk Lemonade, a fave of mine obvi). Better combined with Dew of course, perhaps another time for the ultimate combo:   Melted Cheese (provolone is best) sandwich on white (NEVER the wheat roll) hoagie roll, ketchup inside (make sure to microwave it together for the best effect), side of doritos, maybe a pickle for the acid finish complement, and a large Dew with crushed ice. OMG.

Moon 9:16: reNAISSANSLATE 4 desi niggahz @ *$  9/3+6/1:16   Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Drizzle*^2 :p—-~~~ “RandoTattAttooUpDaChrizackisthe4aRealsGangBanga?” YEP. Look skirred. Shaken a bit hood?

Gaia decides to flash hind gang signs for uh fuh sup duh thit tahathtat just for a michronic nonexistent nanoflow (what is a second? when you not present in dis dimension, Matt? Birdie outside punks you everyday, saying “He a little confused again! Which dimension am I? oh well.” Over to the river Lil’ Michael: “Warriorz come out and play>…”

Copernamici 7.8.17

Last night was a good night for Copernamice: Gaia was in top form. Here are the results (see also video I posted to YouTube, which is a good way to archive):

Moon 8:40 gorgeous full moon blazing through clouds, before disappearing for the rest of the evening, except for a brief glimpse through a portrait of a fetus baby. Appeared during the anthem: Cat Power, Peace and Love

Lil’ J 9:28  appearing behind me as I walked by the Deli where Shiva destroyed the capitalist clerk. Spotted during the Coldplay set, The Scientist methinks…for the Show.

Lucius 9:30  not long after Jupiter, the clouds began to part…Lucius was out almost the entire night once he appeared. FTW

Vega 9:34  wow. Girls, Honey Bunny, after I tried for Alex — mind of its own or divine scintillivention?

Big Rob  incredible early appearance for Girls, Alex accompanied, but not immediately spotted alongside

Special J   and

Kochab

Spica finally showed up alongside Lil’ J on my way back to OZ. O’Jays, Survival brought out the real Martian, James Brain on fair game. Spica for Place.

Copernamici 7.9.17 (posted to joindiaspora 7.10)

NOTE TO SELF: It’s been an annoying afternoon / evening with the crack head and other obnoxious interlocutors trying to make me feel bad for some reason. I don’t know and I don’t care what their problems are. It has nothing to do with me. So, I’m out in Boyd Park doing my thing. Not going to sing, methinks, but will listen to music and write. I did a nice job with a blog entry today on Sagan, so I can feel good about 15 days sober and being productive. Soon good things will happen. If not, i’ll just continue to await death, which I’m beginning to believe wholeheartedly is going to be AWESOME. Natural is the way to go, but if they wanna help me along by fucking with my blood pressure, then fine. I say you have 11 years left at this pace if you’re lucky. Do your worst! I will make Jesus look like a pansy.

Copernamici: A Game to Save the World

Results:  7.19.17

Location: Boyd Park / Raritan River bank (New Brunswick, Central New Jersey, U.S.A.)

Weather: “Immaculately conceived” (no sunset show means perfect viewing tonight—dry air); little to no wind (buggy by the Raritan)

“InterGalactic” Anthem (8:44 p.m. EST)  — Big Star, Ballad of El Goodo  [Note: I only have access to my iTunes library via my laptop and my iPod nano, which often malfunctions for reasons I don’t understand—I would like to reacquire an iPhone—I’ve thrown a few away in my time, bad impulse control—or purchase a new iPod. Donations accepted! ;) ]

Earth Character Name: Hiya!  [I like nicknaming the Earth every time I play Copernamici…this one rhymes with Gaia and is a friendly greeting)

Rules (brief version)

Be outside. Look up. What do you see? Write things down, including especially data. This is a scientific endeavor but also a fun way to learn and commune with the Earth and the cosmos through art and/or music.

2.  Be honest. Write down the names of stars and planets in order of appearance, as in a baseball lineup perhaps. If you don’t understand what you see, that’s okay. Figure it out later by doing research.

3. If possible, share your work and have it evaluated by a teacher. I post videos to my YouTube Channel. Please follow this link to watch and listen to exerpts of my “prayer” sessions during Copernamici, etc.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRrm7YcpCvF2BqgFxiVs5FA

4. Consider ways of taking action to help solve the problem of pollution. Light and sound pollution are enemies in the game, but it’s the greenhouse gas emissions that are the bigger problem for our planet.

Note 1: On copywright, etc.  Below is the lineup I experienced last night. There is no one way to play Copernamici and I have no rights to the idea. I’d rather have people with whom I can play. And so, as always with my postings, do with this whatever you want! Share it. I want it to get around. I am confident that if I stay on the path I’m on, everything will work out for the better.

Note 2: On music. “Prayer” is a sensitive topic. I believe that in the U.S., as writes Ann Druyan of her partner Carl Sagan, we must protect the separation between Church and State in this country given current conditions. In other words, as someone with a Quaker education, I believe that Wonder in the face of the glory of creation is the best criterion to determine what constitutes a prayer. And so, I use the term prayer in this game as a secular humanist would use it.

People have different musical tastes. Mine is geared towards rock n’ roll, r+b, Americana / Roots, hip hop, etc. I am proud that I have ecclectic tastes. However, I do not believe that anyone should ever feel compelled to listen to specific music. In other words, for Copernamici, it’s byo every time.

The Lineup

1.  8:45  Jupiter  (nickname: “Lil’ J”; this is because although it’s the largest planet in the solar system, it’s often described by astronomers as a “failed star”)  Song = Big Star, “The Ballad of El Goodo”  I spotted the planet, which is looking so stellar right now to the WSW (bring a compass) and cannot be missed. Interestingly enough, NASA and other organizations constantly deal with phone calls from concerned citizens who think Jupiter and the other planets (“wandering stars”) are UFOs. They’re not incorrect! Jupiter has at least 63 moons that are “visible” if you look carefully at the way in which the light refracts around them. I don’t use a telescope to experience this effect, i.e. to “see” the moons of Jupiter without using anything but my eyes. Be honest. Try for yourselves! I reported this to employees of the Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, on Mars Hill, where Pluto was “discovered” and was mocked. In fact, I was kicked off the campus for singing to Sirius. How embarrassing for those people. Haha. I even applied to work in their gift shop and was not hired. Life’s funny sometimes.

2. Arcturus  8:53   Big Star (Chris Bell), I Am the Cosmos   Star nickname = Lucius, my son’s name. I rename stars for my own gaming purposes. And so, I’m not suggesting that my nicknames should apply for anyone else obvi. I simply think it’s the most beautiful star in our night sky and deserves a more appropriate name. Look high up in the sky for this 1st magnitude star on any given night in the northern hemisphere. It’s a burnt orange color and delivers stunning views. Note that Hiya! directed last night’s show as always: the clouds move and determine viewing. In this sense, one can easily think of the Earth/Gaia as alive in the sense of animation—Sagan writes fondly of the millions of people on the planet who are animists (i.e. believe that natural objects are endowed with “spirit). Ironically, Sagan was not, so far as I know an animist in that he does not write of natural forces as being endowed with spirit. I do think that he believed in the Earth as a living organism, however, and so we’re in agreement on this post. Please see my post yesterday on his book The Varieties of Human Experience … in the Search for God for more.

3.  Vega  8:59  Radiohead, Bones  This star chokes me up with emotion, as does Lucius/Arcturus. Looking bright and beautiful as always high up in the NE. You should all read the book Cosmos or at least watch the movie this summer. Homework is fun! :)

4.  Spica  9:03  Roxy Music, Beauty Queen   I call Spica “the comedy star” because it seems to have a witty and/or ironic sense of timing! I worry that this name, which means “EAR OF GRAIN” in Greek, can be taken as a racist slander among Mexican Americans. But hopefully I’ll soon stop being insulted for being a reason when I greet Spica by name. Get a clue p.c. police of New Brunswick, Flagstaff, etc! It’s called Greek nomenclature.

5.  Saturn  9:05   “*” [this symbol means same track; note the time]  Note that our planets in English nomenclature are directly linked to the days of the week. Saturn is “Saturday.” This is because it was, for naked eye astronomers and until the discovery of Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, etc. thought (correctly!) to be the most distant planet. It takes 29 years to make a complete orbit around the sun and is in a wonderful position at the present moment for viewing here in the northern U.S.

6.  Moon  9:14  Cracker, Low  gorgeous full moon rising in the SSE or so, yellowish-pink to the south, competing with Saturn for attention. Interesting that it “appeared” after Saturn last night. Note that the light of the moon often blocks out neighboring stars. Not so last night with Saturn, which was pretty far to the right (towards the south)

7.  Altair  9:21 Nickname = Lil’ Green Bug. Please see my poem in Metaphysical Nature Poems: Health and Profundity:  

“Little Green Bug”

The closest thing I know to infinity

Is identity mine.

Think not of the difference

Between a star and a little green bug.

Contemplate the sameness of ash.

8.  Deneb  9:21  Nickname = The Scuttlebutt; my collection of poems CNJCSS.  Deneb means “tail” in Arabic I think. Denebola is the tail of Leo (which I call Unicorn, for which see later), and I think one “Deneb…” is enough! ;)

9.  Special J  9:24  I have yet to learn the English or any other name for this particular star, which is in the “biceps” position of The Big Dipper: the third in the handle. And so, I sort of named it after myself! I think this is a healthy thing to do, because how can things as important as stars not have names? This is a good moment to mention that not only are names of stars and constellations different across cultures, but the asterisms and groupings themselves vary differently as well. Of course, the stars appear to move over time, meaning that groupings are by their very nature illusionary and might require renaming and reconfiguration over time.

10.  Alcaid ”  This quotation marks symbol means “spotted in the same visual sweep.”  Note: in Copernamici, there is no “correct answer” for when a star is seen—it should and will usually vary from person to person. [The rule in play here is BE HONEST! A good lesson in general, but especially for scientists.] This is an Arabic name—any time you have a star name that begins with “Al,” as in Altair (Lil’ Green Bug) you should think Arabic. I believe that “al” is a definite article, equivalent to “the.” For instance, Vega is known as Alwazn (spelling), meaning “the ascending one.”

11.  Mizar  ”   The star in between Special J and Alcaid in the Big Dipper (which I call The Big Rob: see CNJCSS poems—it’s a coffee drink!). Note that the Big Dipper is not a constellation, but formally known as an asterism (star grouping). The constellation of which it’s a part is Ursa Major (the Great Bear), the stars of which cannot be seen here in NJ because of light pollution and atmospheric trauma. It’s a sad example of why this game must be played in my humble opinion. Any who, these three stars 9-11 usually appear in the sky together. It’s really fun to have them compete for attention, meaning you should always note which one you see first.

12.  Big Rob  9:25  [nickname, see #11 above for explanation: it’s the name so nice I have to use it twice] This star is the lead pointer towards Polaris the north star in the Big Dipper. Last night it appeared right after the “arm” triad.

13.  Tulip Food Bank  9:25  [not ”]  This star is nicknamed after students for whom I volunteered as a literacy tutor in Flagstaff, AZ circa June 2015. For me, it has a strong association with First Peoples, but especially the Navajo. Hiya! It’s the other pointer star in the Big Rob/Dipper.

14. 1.8.8 repeating x infinity   “  The nickname is difficult to write because it’s mathematical. For me, the language of the cosmos and the Earth in general (but on a more local level) is music and mathematics. Science is applied math, and music is how I relate to spirituality, which is why I like to sing—it’s how I pray, like most people on this planet. It sucks that I’ve been told to be quiet most of my life, but especially recently, because my singing bothers people, apparently. Whatever! This game is too important for me to give up.  This star is usually the last to appear in the Dipper because the final star, which I’ve named Evelyn in honor of one of my son’s friends, is not visible so far from New Brunswick. This indicates that sirius work must be done to repair our atmosphere. Remember: this is game can be very very hard on the soul. But it’s meant to help students and people everywhere understand how badly we as people have damaged the planet. There is great reason for hope: the Earth can repair itself if we only allow it. We must cut down on all forms of pollution if we’re to recapture what was once so sacred to our ancestors. When was the last time you went outside and simply looked up? Perhaps you don’t know what you’re missing….

15. Antares 9:27 [nickname = The Riddler, because I noticed in Flagstaff that Scorpio—it’s the brightest star in this constellation—looks exactly like a question mark! ?  And so, I nicknamed Scorpio “Pinchotocles” — I enjoy the work of the actor Bronson Pinchot of Perfect Strangers, which was a favorite of mine growing up. It’s also a pun! Get it? Pinch pinch!?]  The name of this star means “opposed to Mars” which is lovely, in that Mars is the God of War in Roman mythology. Thus, Antares kind of means “anti-war” which I like very much. However, given the importance of being militant about the evils of pollution in this game, I prefer going with the beliefs of my heroes like Gandhi and Dr. King (also the latter day Malcom X) and their ilk who are fighters for peace, using noncompliance and protest as a way of solving political problems.

16. Beta Scorpio [second brightest star in Pinchotocles/Scorpio, above and to the right. I once nicknamed this and other stars after other students of mine. But that’s kind of a personal thing that I don’t feel comfortable sharing in this particular domain. Please ask questions if you’re curious!]

17. Bonzo 9:28   song = Led Zeppelin, Moby Dick  This star is the cap of the Serpent Bearer, also known as Ophiochus, a medicine man native to Greek mythology. You can see Bonzo forming a quadrangle with Vega, Altair, and Deneb, the summer triangle long used for navigational purposes. John Bonham is my favorite drummer of all time. He kicked so much ass, it’s ridiculous. The dude was like a clock personfied, ask his bandmates, listen, or watch a video. I had a classmate at Moses Brown School in Providence, RI named Eric Bennet who once did an oral report on Bonzo, and I’ve never forgotten that. Eric played in a band alongside another drummer, and he was clearly inspired. John Bonham shares a birthday with my son Lucius, May 31st, making it entirely apt as a nickname given it’s relevance as a part of the summer quadrangle. Note that Serpent Bearer SHOULD be a part of the 12 zodiacal constellations, in that it’s always a quadrant through which planets pass. Saturn is making its way from the bottom of Ophiochus towards Scorpio right now. I have redesigned Hercules and Serpent Bearer by renaming a bunch of those stars after musicians. I call it Musician’s Corner, which also features (not visible here in the CNJ) John Lennon, David Bowie, Ella Fitzgerald, Lou Reed, and Jimi Hendrix. These stars are ALL visible in Flagstaff, which is why I will always have fond memories of that place. If you have good views of the night sky wherever you are, I am extremely jealous of you today. We have so much work to do here in urban America.  

18. O.W. L. “  [nickname for Gemma, the lead star in The Northern Crown, a constellation which looks like a breast, and this the nipple. I’ve renamed the constellation Scrapy Scrapy because it’s kind of like the grappling device in the constellation I call The Thugged-Out Good Ship Carl Sagan, Ship #1 of the InterGalactic StarFleet. See my drawings elsewhere. It’s a redesign of Northern Crown, Bootes or Herdsman and Virgo.] Wow. Can you tell I’ve been busy at night in recent months? I have a lot to say, but no one wants to publish my work! Why is the astronomy community ignoring me? I’d love to publish a book about this stuff. Please contact me if you’re interested in making a lot of money by publishing an interesting article or book about astronomy and everything. I use this nickname because I love owls. They remind me of my son and myself. Think Greek and Roman mythology.

19. Monkey Eye “  [OKAY, I’m done explaining for today. More to come later.]

20. Kochab 9:31  

21. Polaris 9:32

22. Denebola 9:33  Led Zeppelin, Bring it on Home

23. Molly Scuttlebutt 9:36   (to the right of Deneb/The Scuttlebutt in Cygnus, which I’ve renamed Goose)

24. Ader “  (above and to the left of Vega in a constellation I’ve designed as QB2lip; this star is also known as the mouth of Draco—Harry Potter connection!)

25. Slaveman Boots 9:40  The Shins, Saint Simon  [a.k.a. Cor Coroli — why name a star after some dead asshole of a British king? I prefer the Wu Tang reference here in the CNJ]

26. Arcturus(+) 9:44  TRex, Lean Woman Blues   [I figure why not bump the name over to the star in the roof of the cockpit of the Thug Carl Sagan?]

27. Jacques Scuttlebutt  9:46  [above Molly Scuttlebutt in the upper wing of Goose]

28. Mother Emily Dickinson 9:47  TRex, The Motivator  [above and left of Beta Scorpio, named after my favorite lyric poet; I like that the nickname is also Mother E.D.   HAHA]

Well, as Grover would say, “There you have it!” A lot to digest. But last night was a VERY GOOD night for Copernamici here in New Brunswick as indicated by the number of stars I was able to document in one hour and three minutes of game play. As always, more to come: “There’s always a P.S.” is one of my very favorite mantras.

7.10.17

Location: HP Reform Church on 2nd, Highland Park —> Boyd Park, New Brunswick

Anthem: John Lennon, Imagine (~8:43)

Weather: Timed Rain revealing open sky from the NW

Earth Character Name: HiyAA! (b/c I hit a 2nd meeting of the day, my 16th of complete and total sobriety)

The Lineup

1.  8:51  Lil’ J(upiter)  The Shins, Sleeping Lessons

2.  Lucius (Arcturus)  9:01  The Freewheelin’ Bobby Dylan, Queen Jane, Approximately

3.  Vega  9:05  ”*”   [BONUS TRACK: Built to Spill, Carry the Zero … note: I often play xtra tracks that I don’t list b/c they’re not strongly associated with star sightings. I indicate this one b/c I like the moment and want to remember it. I was walking towards OZ and felt inspired by my view of Vega and my environs. I like to remind myself that the language of the cosmos if not earth is Mathematics, and that I suck at it! I much prefer science, which to me is applied math. My rule is not only to look up, but to look around.]

4.  Spica  9:14  Blur, I’m Just a Killer para estu (?) amor  [Bonus track: follwed by Bob Marley, Stir It Up.  I’ve named a star in the constellation Eagle after Bob b/c I like his music and think he’s an important figure in the history of World Music. I’ve never been to Jamaica but feel I would love it there.]

Pause: An impromptu Wilco Solid Sound 2015 concert at Boyd Park. See accompanying videos on my Copernamic channel on YouTube, which is where I post videos related to the game:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoXM2XAeZa0NH1t00Otm4DbzWOEVUkk9x

Jesus etc.:  https://youtu.be/wk07AtPhKzQ

New Madrid:  https://youtu.be/1jM1ni9Gjpo

5.  Alcaid  9:40  Ray Charles, What I Say

6.  Mizar  “  “*”

7.  Special J  “  “*”

Analysis:

As any amateur astronomer or nakedeye stargazer will say, the weather means a lot. Even in relatively unpolluted areas, like Flagstaff, AZ (which I hear is in the midst of a wicked fire season—I hope everyone is doing okay out there!), or (I imagine) on the plains of Africa, if it’s cloudy out you’re not going to see much. Here in Central New Jersey, it’s gotten quite humid in the last 24 hours. Last night there was a passing rain storm around 8:00 p.m. and I wasn’t sure if the stars would come out. But, patience is a virtue and is usually rewarded. “Gaia” did not disappoint me last night and it was an educational evening all in all. Let me ‘shplain to the “real astronomers,” as Papa Carl (Sagan) would say….

Jupiter showed up “on cue” at 8:51. Besides the Moon (I refuse to use a capitor “t” because there are other moons in the solar system, and most are far more interesting), Jupiter SHOULD be the first object visible in the night sky here in New Brunswick.  It was nice and clear in that part of the sky, meaning there were excellent views of the planet nearly the entire evening.

High above Jupiter I saw Arcturus 10 minutes later. Relative to Jupiter, Arcturus is towards the center of the sky. If you have trouble understanding what it means for a star to be “up high,” think about it’s distance from the horizon. If you can look at the sky as a dome and see it as a hemisphere, you’ll recognize that the sky is like an umbrella, as suggested by H. A. Rey in his awesome book The Stars: the illusion is that it’s a round dome, even though we should know that it’s not at all a sphere, at least not that we can see from this perspective. Historically, most people believed that we live in a large dome, as in a snow globe. That’s because it looks this way. Try lying on your back and looking up. Without being able to see the horizons, the illusion disappears.

Arcturus’s appearance last night was slightly delayed. all things being equal atmospherically, I can usually spot Arcturus 5 MINUTES after Jupiter. I’m not always paying close attention, but I stand by this statistic. Try it yourselves! See if you can spot Arcturus before Jupiter, and if not, then as close as possible to it in terms of lapsed time. I bet you can’t do it in less than 5 minutes! :)   That’s how cool naked-eye astronomy is. Why would you use a telescope when you can do this for free? Oh yeah. Pollution. Le sigh. The good news is that weather is more of  a hindrance, and this particular exercise should be able to be done no matter where you are. I wonder about New York though…hmmmm. Can you see Arcturus and Jupiter from Times Square? I’m genuinely curious but mostly disturbed by the possible answer—I don’t want to know because of how angry it would make me with that particular city and its inhabitants, but mostly its “caretakers.” How dare the people running that city rob its citizens of the opportunity to play this game? I feel bad for the kids, but also the grown-ups, no matter how often they drive, etc.

Back to last night. For those unaquainted with Arcturus, its a beautiful burnt-orange-colored star I call Lucius. His name means Light in Latin, and so to me it’s a natural fit for something like a star, which after all is nothing but a distant sun. I like using the “official star names” so that people can understand my writing more easily, but I figure why not share something of myself in these silly blog posts. As far as stars go, Arcturus is actually quite interesting: it’s 36.7 lightyears away, which makes it one of our closest neighbors. It is 140 times as bright as our sun. Imagine being near that guy! Hard to imagine isn’t it? Makes me think of that song “Blinded by the Light!” I don’t feel like looking up the artist right now, but was it Loverboy?

Anywho, Arcturus is estimated to be 7.1 billion years old—I don’t yet have any opinions about the validity of this assertion. Our sun is—I believe accurately estimated at—4.6 billion years old. For those new to astronomy, it’s worth considering how a star can be older than ours. It’s interesting that some stars are older and some are younger than ours, which is middle-aged. It’s about half way through it’s life cycle, meaning that it will die in another 4.6 billion or so years. Like with people, who usually live to around 70 to 80 years if healthy, stars have different physical properties. It’s not a myth: stars are “alive” in the sense that they are energy, the source of all life. Like many people, I consider the stars my “parents.” As a caring human being, I also think it’s worth thinking of them as our children, in that we should want to be able to keep an eye on them.

I like being middle-aged (mostly) because it helps me understand our solar system a bit better. I can relate to the sun! Here’s something to contemplate the next time you’re outside: if our sun and the stuff in our solar system was “created” from an explosion known as the Big Bang, how many other formative events—processes of accruals in which matter joins together to form stars and planets out of “space dust”—have happened? Hindus believe that existence is made of an infinite series of such events, and that time basically has no beginning or end. I agree with this belief, by the way—inifnity = infinity in the same way as 1 = 1. I’m not at all agnostic: I simply believe in the mathematics behind this aspet of science. So. There is a lot of stuff in our solar system—consider Lil’ J—even if it’s not much compared to the amount of void or empty space out there in this our local part of the Milky Way galaxy. The Big Bang happened around 16.7 billion years ago (my preferred estimate as of today). QUESTION: WHY IS THE EARTH, the only place that is known to be home to “intelligent life” according to most scientists (BUT NOT PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN ALIENS! HAHA—I love that the first movie I ever saw in a theater was The Empire Strikes Back, it freaked me out and I cried and we had to leave…then again, I was only like 3 or 4 years old), SO PERFECTLY PLACED IN SPACE AND TIME when we treat it so badly? Do we really believe that this is all a coincidence? I’m not much for sermonizing, but I do think it’s worth considering how closely aligned astronomy, Earth science, and religion are and should be. But I digress…

   Spica, a dimmer but visible star that to my eye in Flagstaff is a lovely bluish-green (one of the few stars I can honestly describe as “greenish,” along with Regulus) forms a giant L with Jupiter these days. (See the photo in my previous Copernamici posting.) Again, I like that it connects me with Lucius—it’s these connections that make stargazing fun. When Spica appeared, a few minutes after Arcturus, I was playing a song called “Killer for Your Love” by the British band Blur (it’s on the album that has the famous Song 2—sportsfans will know this song and thus know the band…it’s the one that goes “woooo hooo!” in a British accent). I think that having a soundtrack, no matter what it is, makes Copernamici more fun—more interactive in a way. The game is all about “timing,” and so why wouldn’t we use music to allow the Earth to direct the show? Ask John Williams and George Lucas and their fans if they think music is an important part of stargazing. For me, music is how I pray, but it’s also how I make sense of the natural world. I call it the rhythm method, for which see my poems in the CNJCSS, posted earlier.

Next was Vega, which for me is a very important star. It’s closer at 25 light years away. By the way, the closest star to Earth is called—rather lamely—Proxima Centauri, meaning “nearest star in Centaur,” at 4.3 light years away. How do we in the Anglophone world NOT have a better name for this important destination? Whatever. You name it! I’m tired of naming shit. Haha. Centaur is a constellation visible towards the equator — I have never seen this star because I’ve never been further south than Key West, Florida, and therefore refuse to name it even in the context of the game Copernamici. Also, it’s too dim to be seen by the naked human eye, although I’d love to try! I’ve never looked at a star or anything except the moon through a telescope because I’m waiting to do so with my son on a special occasion. [For people in America, a total solar eclipse is coming up on August 23rd 2017 by the way…]

VEGA is important for cool reasons: it’s almost always on display, no matter how bad the pollution. It also happens the place that Sagan posited we might first make Contact with aliens. There are very significant reasons for this thesis, which make a ton of sense. Consider this: humans started sending out radio signals late in the 19th century. However, these signals were not as powerful as TV signals, which we started shooting out into interstellar space—penetrating all the dust—around 1936. The occasion was the opening ceremonies of the Hitler Olympics, disturbingly enough. If you do the math, those signals, travelling at the speed of light DID INDEED arrive—it’s a scientific fact—in the area of Vega around the year 1956. And so, if the message was “received” according to our known science, and if other beings decided to send the signal back to us in a similar package—EARTH TO CLUNK is the name of a great children’s book, by the way—it would have come back to us around the year 1976 or so. Only, I don’t believe we were looking then. (I was born in 1977, so I like this stuff as a sci-fi geek.) Papa Carl’s book “Contact” tells this story. Again, I must suggest you read it. It’s about a young female radioastronomer who makes an important discovery that is misunderstood. I think many of us can relate to this heroic but imperfect character. By the way, I should remind you that I’ve been employed as and English Professor for most of my life, and not a scientist. I’m just like any other stargazer in that I like to use my eyes and sense of wonder to learn.

Now, why did Sagan not choose a place with known exoplanets that’s closer? I think he had an attraction to this location because of it’s beauty. Also, we know more now than we did when he died in 1996. That’s a good thing and we should value it. Check out Vega! It’s got a lovely bluish hue and looks a lot in terms of shape like the stars found at the top of Christmas trees. As is the case with Arcturus, I get kind of emotional when I look at Vega, which is why I like to listen to the music I find most moving. Perhaps I’ll make a video one of these days. But, I need the energy, and I feel kind of tired these days. Middle age, blah.

I think that’s enough analysis for this session. Except, note that I spotted Special J last last night. It was hard to make out the Big Dipper because of the cloud cover—note that clouds keep in light, making it a domino effect that hinders viewing. And yet, I was indeed able to make out the 3 brightest stars of the asterism, which is why I was happy to close out the night with Brother Ray Charles, the High Priest of R+B, or soul.

Peace and Love,

Jeff

copern 71117

anthem 8:35  wu tang bminor

Lil’ J  8:52    G. Welch,   Wasted on the Wayside

lucius 8:58  big star, september grlz

vega 9:07  radiohead, black star

Not a good night. Don’t forget: you’re better than this. Stop being so angry. When you’re looking at the stars, remember to look at the stars. Talk to people and they’ll talk to you. That’s all.

WED JULY 26, 2017

All the visible stars were out tonight—at least all the ones I’ve identified since moving here—except what I think was Denebola. However, I did see the star above and to the right of Abigail in QB2Lip.

[aousboom]

super long tag game woo

my love @floatingdownthemoonriver tagged me in this super long tag game and is giving me something to do at work so here we go! thanks love :’)

the last…

drink: water it’s pretty much all i drink time you cried: i think tuesday night during fight my way lmfao i cry over literally everything

phone call: trying to get in contact w/ the lady who runs the fellowship program i applied to

text message: me to my sister: “100 emoji, fire emoji, crown crown crown emoji” lmfaoooo

song you listened to: that girl by btob’s peniel!!!! support this angel’s solo track please and buy it on itunes or stream on spotify!

have you…

dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone one

kissed someone and regretted it: not right after it happened but i regret dating said people for so long

been cheated on: noooo

lost someone special: yesssss

been depressed: hahahahaaaaaaaaa

gotten drunk and thrown up: only one and i’ve never drank to that point again i have weird issues with throwing up and i try to avoid it at all costs

list three favourite colours…

omg okay: sunset oranges, purple, seafoam greens

in the last year have you…

made new friends: yessss omg it’s basically been a year since i connected with and met julie, justine, and lindsey and they’re the greatest people in my life!!!! and i’ve met so many amazing friends through my kdrama network im so grateful for them!!! and also the lovely people from my korean class including my crush

fallen out of love: i’ve never truly been in love

laughed until you cried: yesss not recently though

found out someone was talking about you: noooope

met someone who changed you: i dont know if i’ve truly changed at all in the past year

found out who your friends are: i;ve known

kissed someone on your facebook list: i fucking wish

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all if not all

do you have any pets: not here in pittsburgh with me but my family has one pup, 3 cats, and a bunny at the moment

do you want to change your name: honestly i’ve always loved my name                    

what did you do for your last birthday: worked lol

what time did you wake up: 9:30am for work

what were you doing at midnight last night: ummm i think i was probably watching someone on youtube

name something you can’t wait for: um idk i’d like to find out about this fellowship but i feel like i didnt get it so i cant really say im looking forward to it

when was the last time you saw your mom: monday before i left to come back to pitt

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: let’s seeee... my body, my acne scars, my mental illness, my family’s financial situation, my dad’s health, i wish my mom was happy, my future to actually look bright... so much more

what are you listening right now: nothing im at work

have you ever talked to a person named tom: in like kindergarten there was this kid in my class named tommy and he randomly added me on fb a few years ago

something that is getting on your nerves: loud chewing,leaving my room and leaving the door open

most visited website: tumblr, twitter, dramafever/dramafire, mydramalist

about me…

mole/s: i have a lot of little ones

mark/s: i have a lot of acne scarring and scarring on my back from my dermatillomania, a lot of stretch marks, scars from my gallbladder surgery, and really faint ones from when used to hurt myself, and random scars here and there from scrapes and cuts

childhood dream: cliche but i really wanted to be a singer

hair colour: dark brown, so dark people basically think it’s black

long or short hair: it’s basically right in the middle

do you have a crush on someone: yessss one of the teachers from my korean class omg i really developed the biggest crush on him hes so adorable and sweet and watching him teach is my favorite thing like this is a school girl level crush yall idk what’s wrong with me

what do you like about yourself: hahaaaaa ummmmmmmmmmmmm i love my skin tone and my eye shape andddd yeah

piercings: i have my ears pierced but i have worn earrings in years so i think it closed up

blood type: omg i learned this after my surgery i pretty sure it’s O positive

nickname: lex and lexi are what most people call me... my dad used to call me longneck and i couldn’t tell you any ounce of a reason why

relationship status: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

zodiac: libra

pronouns: she/her!

favourite tv show (s): i mostly watch kdramas now but my fave american shows would be criminal minds, lost, friday night lights, brooklyn 99, baby daddy, superstore, and the get down

tattoos: two and i want more when i actually have money!

right or left hand: right!

surgery: my first ever surgery was getting my gallbladder removed in march

hair dyed in different colour: i got red highlights in my hair in 9th grade but that’s it

sport: i played softed from ages 5-18 and i miss it every damn year

vacation: my most exciting vacation is disney world

pair of trainers: i mostly wear vans... i have nice nike running shoes that i used for work though

more general…

eating: sadly mu appetite is a mess right now bc my stomach is a mess

drinking: water, dr. pepper, arnold palmer, bubble tea

i’m about to: cry.... at any given point in time

waiting for: someone to contact me about this damn fellowship so i can just accept that i didnt get in and move on

want: a romantic relationship

get married: i want to but i don’t think anyone will ever want to marry me so

career: psychologist!!!! although at this point idk how long it will take me to get there

which is better…

hugs or kisses: kisses kisses kisses i want kisses

lips or eyes: hmmmm i like lips

short or tall: tall but honestly i dont care           

older or younger: i prefer older but i would probably date someone like up to 2 years younger

nice arms or nice stomach: i love arm

sensitive or loud: i think i prefer sensitive just because i can’t loud personalities cab overwhelm me

hook up or relationship: relationship :’)

troublemaker or hesitant: in the middle maybe more towards the troublemaker end

have you ever…

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: yessss

lost glasses/contact lenses: i havent lost them but one time my glasses legit snapped in half when i took them off when i came inside because they were legit frozen from the cold

turned someone down: only creepy dudes who just want to fetishize my body

sex on the first date: i could never i dont have confidence for that

broken someone’s heart: noooooo 

had your heart broken: hmmm yeah i guess so

been arrested: noooo

cried when someone died: yes :(

fallen for a friend: in like 8th grade... but not like falling in love i really dont think i was capable of being in love then but he was like my best friend and i did like him a lot

do you believe in…

yourself: idk sometimes                  

miracles: yes? idk

love at first sight: infatuation and attraction yes, love no

santa claus: yesssssssssssssssss

kiss on the first date: yes if i felt comfortable enough with them

angels: yes

other…

current best friends name: amber, julie, justine, lindsey and so many other people im really close to

eye colour: brown :/

favourite movie(s): the lion king!!!!, kick ass, juno, titanic

OKAY I MADE IT im gonna tag @properlypadfoot @jemcarstairz @hyukbinnie @bellamybbblake @seokjinings @celes-tae and anyone else who wants to be tagged!!!!