#like not ON the post but like the worst one ever is mentioned

[every-cool-name-is-taken]

Death of the author applies only when you don’t continue giving them money.

I have fond memories of Harry Potter, and it was so awful to learn that the author of those was such a nasty, horrible bigot.

A lot of people have fond memories of the books, and that’s alright. It doesn’t make us bad people. We were young so it was easy for us not to see the warning signs. We didn’t know what sort of a person we were supporting. We don’t need to feel guilty about what we didn’t see for what it was when we were children.

But it IS important for us to see that now and to not let our memories blind us to the absolutely abhorrent things she’s doing. We now DO know who she really is, and we can respond in kind by refusing to support hate.

It’s okay to remember the books as good memories.

Just don’t give her any money.

Don’t buy anything official and don’t stream the movies from anywhere official.

I haven't purchased a HP item in close to a decade - I use the books I already had as doorstops or to prop a laptop up for meetings nowadays.

There is NO "death of the author" with JK Rowling - she controls and continues to profit from her IP, and uses that money to fund hate groups.

[ilikekidsshows]

Thank you so much for pointing out how Marinette’s stalking is the correct narrative parallel to Chat’s sexual harassment. I find it so telling of Maribug stans when they avoid mentioning this to bring up her other flaws like being a bad leader, because it’s a way for them to pretend like even at her worst, she’s still “not as bad” as Chatdrien.

If we’re going to treat Chat’s overly flirtatious attitude as sexual harassment, then we damn sure better treat Marinette secretly following Adrien around as stalking. But of course, the fact that one is condemned and not the other is just pure bias. I can at least respect the fans who admit this, but the ones who pretend like they’re equally critical of both are so infuriating.

Personally, I was happy to write off their actions as just being romcom gags (you can tell just by looking at how many older iconic Hollywood romcoms engage in deeply toxic behavior when we examine them from that point) even after a retcon told us to actually take their behavior seriously. But as pointed out, only one party genuinely apologized for their behavior and corrected it, and that party is not Marinette.

So yet again, we end up with a case of stans wanting to hold other characters to higher standards than they’re willing to hold the literal lead of the show. I’d probably question if there was some underlying sexism in supporting how the narrative consistently enables Marinette’s victimhood, but that’s also just White Feminism 101.

---

I've seen the discourse loops Marinette stans rely on so many times that I've learned to spot them. Also, I'm pissed off enough to bring it up instead of politely ignoring it. Basically, after getting so many Marinette stans in my inbox whining about "double standards", I got wise to their ways.

The “sexual harasser Cat Noir” is the only card in their arsenal for this kind of discourse, so of course they’re going to pull it indiscriminately. It’s because the only defence for it really is “romance genre trope”, which basically amounts to “bad writing”, and, if they can get anyone criticising Marinette to admit other characters are written poorly, they can go “Gotcha! So everything Marinette ever does wrong ever that the story and writers defend is just bad writing too!” because, as long as they can create that false equivalence, they can shut down any criticism towards the main lead, never mind how these behaviors are not treated the same by the narrative or the writers to begin with. And, like, the worst thing about this false equivalence is that it’s so wide-spread that even people not just covering for Marinette buy into it, thinking they also can’t really criticize the way Marinette’s written specifically, because all characters are badly written to some degree in this show.

And, like, ignoring the elephant in the room that is Marinette’s stalking even when discussing Adrien’s equivalent sexual harassment is based on the years-long taboo on bringing the stalking up period. Like, the stalking has been the biggest ixnay in this fandom if you wanted anything you say to be taken seriously instead of as “bad faith salt”. Like, when I was comparing how the show demonized Chloé for her bad trauma coping while excusing Marinette for hers, I referred to the stalking as “unsavory behavior” because that’s how ingrained the “don’t use the word: stalking” was, and a Marinette stan claimed I was demonizing Marinette for “having anxiety” when literally everyone else could tell the post was about the stalking. Marinette stans take the idea that the stalking is a taboo topic so for granted that they’ll gladly ignore its very existence.

You can also bet none of the people whining about fairness/double standards/hypocrisy in salt are telling the bajillion Adrien or Alya salt blogs on this website to salt on Marinette for the sake of keeping things balanced.

[st5byler]

Mileven, The General Audience, and You

This is probably my first time ever making a post like this, but I find this discussion interesting. Also I just wanted a punchy title lol.

There has been a lot of discussion about 'The General Audience', more often called the GA when discussing Byler & Mileven, and I want add my piece (with at least one piece of evidence... My Mom)

Milevens Claims about the General Audience

So, I see Milevens claim that the General Audience is entirely on Milevens side, and that they believe in the ship.

I'd like to ask them where they end up getting this information post-Season 3 release.

This is entirely correct if you base it off of Season 1 & 2. It was a ship that people were rooting for! There were no flaws to speak on and their journey for each other was considered cute. But, well, there's more than 2 seasons of Stranger Things.

Season 3 was essentially the season to plant the seeds of doubt about Mike & Eleven having and keeping a romantic relationship. Season 1 was mostly unromantic, and Season 2 they were separated till the end - so by Season 3 when they had each other, all should be well, right?

Wrong. The cracks in the ship became more prevalent than ever. It also kicked off the Mike Wheeler hate. And, to be frank, Season 3 is also the worst season for him.

...And then we have Season 4. Mike & Eleven's plots with each other continue to be their only plotlines together. while I wasn't there for the Season 3 backlash, I was absolutely there for the Season 4 backlash. even within spaces that didn't ship Byler, Mileven was disliked.

I feel like the likes on this tweet speak volumes.

I do not believe the GA dislikes Mileven, but I do think they are tired of their relationship at this point - because it's been made up of more conflict than actual relationship stuff lol.

So why do Milevens still push the narrative that the GA still loves Mike and Eleven together? Because the GA is important! The reception to parts of the show from the audience ends up being something to at least take into account during the making of the next season, and if the GA are no longer that receptive to Mileven, then where does that leave the shippers?

My Mom

I mentioned her for a reason, because she's one of the people you can consider the General Audience. Or perhaps even a huge fan. She is a big fan of this show, collects merchandise and everything. Her favorite character is Eleven, and she's been watching since season 1 was released.

She is also a Mileven fan. She thinks they're cute together mostly, and she doesn't engage with fancommunities for Stranger Things (eg Reddit/Tumblr). She just lives in her own world ST-wise.

So when I asked her what she thought if Mileven broke up in Season 5, she said this. "Yeah, that would make sense. They haven't really been together long."

I was surprised, but I end up finding it more funny than anything. If my mom, who really loved Mileven & has never engaged with fancontent thinks it makes sense if Mileven broke up, than the GA who are probably less diehard than her are probably gonna be fine with Mileven breaking up.

TL;DR

The GA aren't as big of fans of Mileven as the shippers claim they are, and are probably going to end up fine if they broke up, lol.

(Note, sorry if this is incoherent ramblings, I don't do these kinds of posts but I hope it makes sense!!)

[imaginesig]

Today, Tomorrow, Forever

SMAU with writing

Nicholas Hoult x Reader

Yn and Nicholas Hoult have known each other since their Skins days, but it wasn't love at first sight. How did they go from a one sides rivalry to dream marriage in 17 years?

Movie release dates/years have been edited for the sake of the story!

Idea sent by @ateliefloresdaprimavera

2024

nicholashout with ynhoult

liked by user12, aarontaylorjohnson, ellefanning, and 902,104 others

nicholashoult 17 years ago made the worst mistake of my life, 11 years ago I had the best conversation ever, and 6 years ago I married the love of my life. I never imagined that one person could be the reason my world turns, but here she is. Happy anniversary my love 🤍

tagged no one

aarontaylorjohnson happy anniversary!!

elliefanning best couple ever!!

hughgrant happy anniversary! I'm so happy to have met little you and watched as you've grown into an amazing man

scarlettjohansen beautiful!!

sebastianstan 6 years is no small accomplishment, I hope its a good ones guys!

mikebailey here from the start!!

joedempsie so happy for you guys, happy anniversary!

aprilpearson most beautiful bride ever!!

user1 they're the only couple ever

user2 stop the way he looks at her 😭🤭

user3 its the fact he still looks at her the same now as in that photo

user4 Nick putting Yn first in his own post is the most Nick thing he's ever done

user5 Yn is everything and he's just Ken

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2007

N.H.

A laugh rang loud and clear across the busy set. My ears perked up at it and my eyes immediately rolled. There is only on person who has a laugh like that, a laugh that carries through the air with an annoying volume: Yn Ln. I glance towards the noise and notice a small gathering; April, Mitch, and Mike stand around with her laughing at something. Yn looks proud, so it must've been her joke.

"Oi! Nick come join us!" Mitch calls to me.

"I'm good mate, there's some lines I was hoping to review before we start filming again!" It was a lie. There were no lines, I reviewed everything exhaustively yesterday, a bunch of 'Michelle I'm sorry this' and 'Sid get laid' that. I just can't go over there. I can't imagine anything more dull than flocking around Yn and listen to whatever nonsense she spews into conversation.

"Alright we're going to pick up at scene 6. It's our last of the day so let's make it good!" Calls our director. We all fall into place, April by my side, and the others in a semicircle.

"After we're done for the day we should try that place for dinner," she says to Yn.

"Oh yes!" replies Yn with a cheery smiles. I can't help but scoff under my breath.

Y.L.

Across our fake circe, over the chatter of set I hear Nicholas scoff. It stung somewhere deep in my chest and tripped up my good mood.

I was over the moon to book this gig. Like almost every actor here, Skins was my start; from here I'd book more and more until I've reached the stars. My character was an awkward, ugly duckling but she was mine and I love her. This experience has been the best things thats happened to me ever; I've made so many great friends. There is only one problem: Nicholas Hoult. He's a phenomenal actor and a wonderful guy to everyone but me.

I can't recall what I've done over the past months to make him dislike me; at our first read throughs we were cordial and made wonderful small talk, but as filming progressed he distances himself and always has a noise or eye roll to accompany my words. The worst part was he's cute and seeing how hardworking he is around set doesn't help the school girl crush I have for him. And the nail on the coffin? He's a gentleman and so kind to everyone else, just not me. I'm a lucky girl, I suppose; you can't please everyone, so having 7/8 actors be my friends was fine by me. Plus his negatively was only ever a stumble in the road, not a ruin to my day.

Twitter--

2024

Youtube--

comments:

user1 he's so whipped, like Yn did not need to be mentioned for The Menu quote but she was

user2 no cause why did he go on longer about her and the Skins quote than any other line

user3 I'm crying why does he remember the entire Skins line off the top of his head

user4 get yourself a man that talks good about you even when you're not there

user5 the smile he had when talking about Yn makes me wanna cry

user6 he is so in love

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2008

Y.L.

"Cheers!" A round of glasses clinking filled my ears. The core cast got together to celebrate the wrap of season 2 for Skins; we were currently tucked away in the back of some local restaurant in Bristol. I was sat at the end of the table, with Mitch on my right and Dev on my left; everyone was joking and sharing stories, it seemed every member at the table was holding at least 3 conversations. As Cassie would say, it was lovely. The warm lights reflected off of the wooden table and casted a gentle glow on everyone, including Nicholas at the other end of the table. We made eye contact as the table erupted into a roar at something Kaya said; I felt my cheeks burn with the stretch of my smile, but Nicholas's quickly turned from a bright laugh to a tight lipped smile. I rolled by eyes and chose to ignore him; I've let go any wish I had to understand his dislike of me.

I tore my eyes away from Nicholas's direction and looked around, my heart grew heavy. I am so glad we are all geared up to start new projects, but I'm so sad to see everyone separate. I hope we'd all be able to keep in touch. The conversations slowed down so I grabbed my almost empty glass and tapped on it, "Not to make this a cheesy movie moment, but I wanted to let you all know how grateful I am for Skins. Not only has this shown given us a jumping point, but its connected us all..."

N.H.

"...connected us all..." there she bloody goes, killing the mood with some dumb speech. Yn's words soon sounded like the parents from Charlie Brown. Yet, I looked forward to pretend to listen. This is the first time I've really looked at her out of character. I've gotten used to her brush out curls that would frizz out in the English humidity and the hideous fake glasses they'd put on her. All apart of the ugly duckling role she plays. Off set she looks fine, I wouldn't say anything special.

I look down and watch the condensation drip down my glass and onto the table; as the droplets raced I couldn't help but wish Yn was just a little funnier and more interesting.

2024

Youtube--

comments:

user1 they def went home and screwed after this

user2 I felt like I was interrupting something

user3 imagine having to be apart of the crew to film this

user4 Yn was way to excited there's no way Nicholas isn't getting slapped in bed at some point

user5 its the way he gave his answer away with the ask me off camera

user6 also Yn calling Nicholas instead of Nick when she asked 😭 girlie knows how to get what she wants

user7 they're both so possessive but polite

user8 I've never seen a celebrity be so comfortable and laugh (enjoyable not uncomfortable) at these, I love it

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2010

Twitter--

2011

Twitter--

2013

Twitter--

N.H.

My bed felt softer and fluffier than a cloud when I flopped into in face first. It had been a long few months; Warm Bodies finished it wrap, I went straight into auditioning for new projects, and before I could blink I was swept up into press for the movie. I'm living the dream, but sometimes I just want everything to slow down.

My eyes just fluttered closed when my phone let out rapid buzzes, one at a time. I sighed in relief when it went silent, but was quickly disappointed when it started again. I rolled over to retrieve it from the bed beside me. Messages from the old skins group chat filled my lock screen; we made it after a meet up a couple years ago, but it was only ever active on someone's birthday, that was until today. The messages informed me that our old show was trending on twitter with fans pulling old photos, clips, and interviews from our time. I smiled and replied quickly before loading up the app for a quick trip down memory lane.

...

My room slowly grew darker as hours passed. Hours have passed as I went down the rabbit hole of Twitter reminiscing; at some point I ended up clicking on different links to interviews the cast has done. The current one was Yn answering a question that I can't remember. A pit formed in my stomach, she was beautiful inside and out. Every interview I saw her in, she had nothing but praises for everyone else and took every compliment with such humility. I was in awe of her answers, despite being formed on the spot came out with the poise of a well rehearsed speech. I made a horrible misjudgment.

"Whose do I most admire of the cast? I'd have to say Nick," the guilt in my chest grew, "he's so talented that you'd think he was a pure asshole if you only watch the show. We're not the closest, but I've seen from being around him he is an absolute sweetheart. That's what makes him admirable, his absolute kick ass work as Tony while being a fantastic cast mate."

I wished she was lying, but I can tell it's all genuine. I spent those years annoyed by her and mentally tearing down this girl, but she wasn't a girl. Yn was a poised young women who was down to Earth and spent her time raising people up. She was right we weren't close, because of me, but she still through so highly of me. I wanted to hit myself, she could've been an amazing friend and I was too dumb to let go of stupid stereotypes from a fictional show to see it.

I turned my phone off and rolled over. Tonight, I fell asleep with the beautiful sound of Yn laughing in my ears.

2024

Twitter--

2013

N.H.

It was warm inside the event hall; I was currently sitting at my assigned table at the EBA Awards. I was nominated for my role as R in Warm Bodies, but seeing as I wasn't a huge name I was at the beginning of the carpet. I looked around to see other people mingling to pass the time as everyone makes their way in, but no one stood out so I stayed seated. Somewhere in the distance I heard a loud laugh; it was eerily familiar and certainly beautiful but I couldn't seem to place it. I pulled out my phone someone stopped near the table causing me to look up.

A breath got stuck in my throat as Yn Ln stood in front of me looking like a picture of perfection,"hey Nicholas! I saw you and wanted to catch up..."

Instagram--

celeb_updates

liked by user4, user1, user83, and 892,820 others

celeb_updates just days after the EBA Awards, former cast mates Yn Ln and Nicholas Hoult were seen on a supposed date! It's the first time they've been seen together/publicly interacted since the last Skins event they attended in 2008

tagged: no one

user1 omg the bad boy and good girl??

user2 we used to pray for days like these

user3 I'm thrilled with the idea of them just being friends much less ON A DATE

user4 OMG GUYS I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY! I was hoping we'd get some content with them both attending the EBAs!!

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2017

Marie Antoinette (directed by Sofia Coppola) Premiere

X-Men: Dark Pheonix (directed by Simon Kinberg) Premiere

Instagram--

ynln

liked by user1, aprilpearson, ajcook, and 892,203 others

ynln secrets out ���

tagged nicholashoult

nicholashoult I love you so much 🩵

ynln right back at ya 🩵

ajcook so excited!!

aprilpearson the scream I let out-- congrats guys!!

mitchhewer never saw it coming but you two work so well together!

user1 omg omg omg omg

user2 that first photo is giving total romcom vibes

user3 right?? I love the shot through the window

user4 part of me is so so excited, but another part just died because wdym Tony fell for C/N??

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2018

Instagram--

ynhoult

liked by mitchhewer, nicholashoult, larissawilson, and 928,029 others

ynhoult allow me to reintroduce myself...

tagged: nicholashoult

aarontaylorjohnson absolutely stunning bride!! Here's to a long, wonderful marriage

larrisaawilson party like no other! Many congrats

aprilpearson what a night!!! Love you both

user1 im actually crying

user2 ok my turn now...

user3 their personal cake is too cute

user4 the third picture 😭

user5 they're back in their skins party era

load more

nicholashoult

liked by mikebailey, ellefanning, hughgrant, and 893,924 others

nicholashoult today, tomorrow, forever

tagged: ynhoult

hughgrant Congratulations! I hope its a long and happy marriage

ellefanning beautiful ceremony and killer reception

mikebaily congrats mate!

user1 the polaroids of the guests are so cute

user2 between the two of them there were more famous actors as guests at their wedding than the oscars 😭

user3 I want a love like this

user4 they're so intimate its adorable

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[melanchol1cs]

NO LONGER MINE TO HOLD.

leon kennedy x reader

word count: 1.1k summary: can a heart still break once it's stopped beating? masterlist | taglist | wips

no major warnings. mentions of death, greif, depression, not too explicit but descriptions of what it feels like to be in a coffin, kind of angsty(?)

a/n: i’m gonna cry i’m actually running out of lace dividers so don’t mind me reusing the old ones i’ve made </3 ANYWAY so sorry i forgot to post this, had alot going on this week but my schedule has pretty much cleared up

the engagement ring still sparkles on your finger, catching faint light that filters through the cracks, like stray beams breaking through the slats of a coffin. it shouldn’t. you shouldn’t see light anymore, not from this angle, not buried in this strange in-between.

it’s strange how death works—how the weight of the ring lingers, heavy and familiar, while everything else has faded. you can’t feel the warmth of leon’s hand, only the echo of it, as though it’s reaching for you through layers of earth, clawing at the emptiness where you used to be.

you thought death would be… cleaner. lights out, cue the credits, fade to black. you thought death meant silence—the cool weight of the dirt pressing you down into nothingness.

no one tells you it’s like this: stuck, suspended, neither above nor below. a ghost with nowhere to haunt. you can feel the world moving above you, every step leon takes a muffled tremor through the fabric of your absence. and you can’t dig your way out.

it’s cruel, honestly. you didn’t sign up to be an audience to your own absence. you didn’t sign up for any of it.

the first few weeks are agony. leon is a wreck. you’d try to comfort him if you could, but there’s no way to bridge the gap now. you’re here, and he’s there, and no matter how much you want to reach out, to brush his hair back from his face the way you used to, you can’t. so you watch.

the apartment becomes a kind of tomb, sealed off and stagnant.

he’s quiet now, quieter than you ever remember him being. no more humming while he brushes his teeth. no more off-key singing in the shower. no more dumb little jokes about how you take up the whole bed when you sleep, even though you knew he was worse.

your toothbrush still sits on the bathroom sink, your sweater still drapes over the chair, your mug is still in the sink, the laundry basket still smells like you, but he hasn’t touched it. not yet. he can’t.

instead, he sits in the dark most days, nursing half-empty beers he never finishes, staring at the wall like he’s waiting for it to speak.

he walks through the place like a man carrying his own casket, shoulders slumped, each step slow and heavy.

and his sobs come at night, muffled but raw, like they’re clawing their way out of him. you try to reach out, but there’s no breaking through.

you’re trapped beneath the weight of everything you left behind—his love, his sorrow, the life you didn’t get to finish.

it’s not that you expected him to bounce back right away—he loved you too much for that—but you didn’t think it would be this bad. it’s like he’s disappeared along with you, his laughter, his joy, his everything swallowed up by the void you left behind.

you thought this would be the worst part.

the grief. the silence. the way his hands shake when he turns the engagement photo face-down because he can’t stand to look at it anymore. you thought this was the hardest thing you’d ever have to endure.

you were wrong.

because time doesn’t stop for grief. it doesn’t stop for love, or for loss, or for you. it marches on, dragging everyone with it, no matter how much they resist. leon is no exception. slowly, almost imperceptibly, things start to change.

it’s the small things at first. the toothbrush disappears. your clothes get packed away, though he leaves your favorite sweater in the back of the closet.

he doesn’t sit by the window as much anymore, staring out at nothing. the framed photos of you slowly disappear from the walls, though the empty space it leaves behind feels louder than any picture ever was.

that one photo stays face-down for months, until one day it’s gone altogether. he starts going outside more, answering calls from friends, taking the time to breathe. it should make you happy. it’s what you always wanted for him.

and then, one day, he laughs.

you feel the shift like a crack in the foundation, a split in the earth above you.

it’s small, hesitant, and you barely recognize it at first.

it happens at the coffee shop you used to love, the one with the mismatched chairs and the too-sweet caramel lattes.

he’s sitting there, alone at first, until she shows up. she’s soft-looking, with kind eyes and a nervous smile, and she spills her drink all over his table.

you expect him to be annoyed, maybe even leave. but no. instead, he smiles. actually smiles. it’s small and hesitant and doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it’s there.

you feel something crack inside you. or maybe outside you. it’s hard to tell.

because here’s the thing: you wanted him to move on, didn’t you? you wanted him to heal, to find something good again, someone who could pull him out of the mess you left behind. but wanting that and watching it happen are two entirely different things.

she makes him happy. and that’s the worst part.

she’s kind to him, and he’s kind to her, and soon, they’re sharing the kind of warmth you once thought belonged only to you. it burns in a way the cold silence of death never did.

he smiles more now, even laughs sometimes, and there’s a lightness to him that hasn’t been there since… well, since you.

and you can’t leave. you’re bound here, like roots tangled too deep in the soil to ever be pulled free. you tell yourself it’s love, that you’re staying for him, to make sure he’s okay. but you know the truth. you’re here because you can’t let go. because even though his heart is piecing itself back together in someone else’s hands, it still feels like it should be yours.

they say you die twice: once when your heart stops beating, and again when someone says your name for the last time. but there's a third death, you think, when you watch the love of your life fall in love with someone else. it’s like death all over again, this time slower, piece by piece.

so yes, a heart can still break once it's stopped beating. yours does, every time he smiles at her the way he used to smile at you.

tags: @clitorphosis @withonly-sweetheart @fanilkychae @crowleyco

[grandcovenant]

who's pulling the strings of the puppet king?

[raiiny-bay]

but I can't wait until I see your face and my brain thinks that it's looking at a stranger

[roseworth]

Wait ok I'm not knowledgeable on anything Wilson family. Slade drugs Rose???

yeah <///3 before tt03 they had met like once ever (and it went poorly) so to get rose on his side slade injected her with a super soldier serum

in #0.5 he kidnaps her after buying a hit on her (many such cases) and goes "cmon rose we can be a family lets be a family <3333" and she agrees (because shes angry and slade is the one handing her a weapon to kill the man that killed her mother)

then theyre on the same side for a while! the first time we hear about the serum (and iirc only time its specifically mentioned while shes being drugged) is in #12 (BART 🥺)

we also see some flashbacks in fresh hell of slade giving her the serum too

anyways then she joins the team and everything is alright (lie). this is the first confirmation that she was being drugged, plus also showing that shes staying on the team just bc shes afraid slade will get her again :(

in any story that takes place from 2003-2006 that includes rose & slade (bg #63-64, nightwing #112-115, etc), rose is being drugged :(

basically the writers needed an explanation for why she would choose to work with slade and wanted an excuse for why she would be able to join the titans later on and honestly? rare johns banger. this plotline fucks to me. completely defines rose's relationship with slade and gives her a concrete reason to hate him but also have very complicated feelings about her place in his life ouuughhhh

but in conclusion slade sucks so heres some panels of rose beating him up

[volfoss]

i think honestly what irritates me about yoshidas work SO much is that people will tell you that banana fish is THE gay manga (ignoring the many things that came before it and were more groundbreaking, ie MW literally having on screen (or like. on panel but still.) gay sex in it and that came out like a decade before BF did) when there really isn't barely any gay rep outside of the pedophiles and the one time ash drops the f slur. like im sorry but somehow yasha, a work she wrote in 1996, has more gay rep in it but also has the same issues.

i truly do not get how people can enjoy banana fish with the rampant racism every 2 pages or the rampant sexual assault plotlines (on women and ash bc he is just... written like how yoshida writes women lmao) that are handled IMPOSSIBLY bad and sincerely i hoped yasha would be better because it had been like a decade or so between works. and then it proceeds to continue with the heres our blonde genius protagonist who everyone is weird as fuck to and will sexually harrass and everyone finds it a VERY funny joke to point out how feminine he is when theres barely any women in the work (if you exclude the ones that are being raped/killed/creepy to minors. which to be fair yasha has toned down the sa a LOT) and that its funny that hes kind of gay except not really!! and its just absurd to me how it just persists in all of her stuff because she is not an author that handles gay stuff well. like the scene in banana fish where ash is completely ok getting gang raped and did it solely to get into the hospital when its been SHOWN that he has a lot of trauma with that. and then right after his friend makes a joke at ash's expense about that. like sincerely and genuinely is this what we are hyping up as the old retro gay manga. go read some tezuka and stop reading shit that the most the main characters do is share a kiss in a nonromantic sense and is obsessed w making every gay person be evil!!

[alfhildr-the-word-weaver]

I got thinking too much about Marwa from What We Do in the Shadows again and how she was canonically making observations of Jupiter and Saturn in the 1200s. Then I thought about how Elena took Damon to go watch a meteor shower, and I decided that Marwa and Elena should get away from all the vampire drama B.S. in their lives and go nerd out about astronomy together, and this moodboard sort of happened. I also thought about how Elena becomes a doctor and went ah, they are both women in STEM! So I ran with that as a theme too.

But yeah, Marwa needs a friend who will actually support her interests and engage with her intellectually (no shade to Nadja and the Guide, I'm glad they had a fun weekend watching Mamma Mia together which was literally the only time we got to actually see Marwa happy onscreen, but they have never demonstrated much interest in science that I can recall and I want Marwa to have an astronomy buddy), and I think Elena would be fascinated by her and her perspectives on astronomy from centuries ago, and they could learn about modern astronomical advances together. If I find the time and energy I might even write fic about it, but for now, here is a moodboard so that we can all bask in the vibes of my beautiful crossover vision together.

Image sources: x x x / x (the first frame of x gif + a screenshot from x) x / x + x x x

[commence-screaming]

I know you all are awaiting my response, and I’m grateful for your patience. There are some things I have to address here. Never wanted to put everything out there—I don’t like drama on my blog. I have a document that’s over a thousand words long, but I realized that when people have blocked me and are saying stuff in the main tag, they don’t want to listen. They just want to hurt me.

So I guess now there are things I have to clarify… it’s heavy, but I tried to keep it short. I didn’t have the energy to read everything they were saying about me so I may get things wrong. I didn’t really want to post this.

Content warnings for mental illness, suicidal ideation, mentions of abuse.

Let’s get right into it.

1. I’ve always lived with the paranoid delusion that everyone was conspiring against me, that people secretly hated me and would smear me behind my back. I passed these off as negative thoughts, anything that might’ve “confirmed” this would set it off. I’d have an episode I would have to deal with on my own. I thought that nobody would stick with me in a crisis, and I would always be thinking along the lines of, “is it all over?”

I feel liberated, now. There’s no need to fight when they’re true. I am more at peace with myself.

2. I never want to hurt anyone. Not a real level, the angst stuff is fictional pain. I am autistic—the things you’re hearing me say are the first times I’ve talked to people (other than my family) for my entire life. I always want people to go to me when I do something wrong so I can handle it and learn from my mistakes, that’s why I have my bio set to what it is.

That, and my memory is so fuzzy that I can’t remember too much from even last week. I tend to dissociate and my brain turns into mush.

3. The “minor incident” that Ghouse and the others were talking about was one of his mods saying she’d “tear people apart” and then immediately citing me as the main cause because I was “being rude.” I told her why I was taking a break, as I couldn’t handle it, this had happened before and I asked them to correct me if I was wrong—even confirming multiple times that we were just joking around because I was paranoid.

I suggested they go straight to me for future reference. I was having a mental health episode. She called me crazy and that I was overreacting, implying I was stupid. Another mod told me I was overreacting and that I was acting pathetic and childish. This made point 1 so much worse.

4. The “suicide baiting” was something I told the Panic Room server in confidence. I told them I was talking a break. Ghouse said “it wasn’t that bad but okay,” as if he were gaslighting me. He said things like this as I was sobbing alone in my room, which he was well aware of.

I have to clarify that it wasn’t baiting. Suicidal ideation has been something I’ve been dealing with since I was 9 years old. I have been abused/gaslit for more of my life than I have been safe. I never wanted to say this, but they were brushing me off at a point where I was trying to find a reason to live. I had stupidly thought that they would understand what they were doing to me if I said.

5. That was the first time I had an episode like that. To say that it was baiting is to say I was lying. Let’s play devil’s advocate here.

If I were lying for attention, why would I destroy all my relationships in a single night? Why wouldn’t I make art or something along those lines? They’re big on art.

If I wasn’t, then that would mean that I was having a few bad days and they did nothing to help me… beyond condescendingly saying that I need help. I don’t blame the minors in the server, I’m talking about Ghouse, who is older than I am by around 2 years. I told them I called 988 and it didn’t really work. He continued to tell me off.

After I was kicked I was made aware that they immediately started insulting me. Whether you believe me or not, purposely attacking someone who’s mentally ill is… too far. I hadn’t done anything to them before this incident.

6. The reasons I freaked out was because I was sad that I had unintentionally hurt people, I had started a new, dangerous job, and… well, to be honest, I was terrified.

They were making me forget that I’d been hurt. I was starting to trust them. I had been starting to look forward to tomorrow. And, I was so scared that it would all be over. I didn’t know when, just that it would be.

Now, it is.

7. I may very well have been joking around with everything while on the server, but serious topics were serious. I was never “demeaning” when Ghouse was venting about something that happened to him beyond a couple of lighthearted comments. I thought they’d have the same respect for me. Again, I had confirmed multiple times that I was joking.

8. I might not have done much wrong in the Panic Room situation, but the other things that people are saying about me? I had no idea.

That was the first time I’d ever heard of them.

In the past, my autism had gone completely unchecked. some of those things were from when I was a week into being on my first server… ever. I was 17, had no idea how to check for age or even pronouns. Never used anything but tumblr, never interacted with anyone. Never went to school or even had a job at that point. I more tried to figure out everything based off of my own experiences… which was, not good. To say the least. The things I did, in my head, I thought they were “normal.” This doesn’t make it less terrible, but I hadn’t even remembered some of the incidents until someone pointed it out. It was so mundane to me—I was a messed up child. I’m sorry for this.

8. I wasn’t the best person, I really wasn’t. I didn’t know how to “mask” my traits at that time, I was excited to be able to talk to people. I was protective over my friends (my first friends! ever!) and very clingy. I didn’t know that people held characters close to their hearts, either? (When I have a favorite, I only want to hurt them, you see)

So while the doc was deliberately taking things out of context, some of the other accusations are true, unfortunately. I will be posting my DMs between me and the people on the server in my doc.

9. I have explanations for what I’ve seen of the accusations, but I don’t really recall anything from that incident over 3 years ago… if someone had told me, or even confronted me, I’d have known what was wrong. But they didn’t, and they kept talking to me like everything was normal. I was completely unaware. This is most of the reason I thought people were plotting against me—people would be cold to me and I wouldn’t know why. The worst part is that I can’t apologize. I can’t even try to rectify anything. Some of the people in that server still played PAYDAY 2 with me, some would even reply to my DMs. I had… no idea.

I have hurt people. Unknowingly, but still. I apologize to anyone I’ve affected. Most of it was not knowing how basic social media functions worked. I hope you understand that my behavior was out of line, and that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Don’t defend me on that, I was entirely wrong. But… smearing me in the fandom tag instead of going to me directly means that they want to attack me. They don’t want an explanation.

All of my actions were genuine. I never intended to hurt anyone, but that’s what ended up happening. I’ll put more detail into the doc.

10. I was already going to take a break. I was already doing poorly, and the server knew this. At that point, they want me to go through with it. What else would they be saying when they do all of this? Unless I’m reading that wrong. Whatever the reason is, they don’t want to help me, they’re deliberately being malicious and they know I wasn’t baiting.

Although, I guess I have to thank them. Now, I can say that I wasn’t delusional. I can say that I was too smart for my own good. How crazy does it sound to think that everyone was just waiting to betray me? But… they were. I can begin to trust myself again, even if it’s accepting some of my “negative thoughts” as reality. I won’t be reaching out to anyone I don’t already know, and there is safety in never putting myself out there again.

Thank you to everybody who stuck around. My delusions… weren’t entirely correct. Just like how most of my former friends blocked me on sight, there were a few people who didn’t mind when I wasn’t responding. There are some people who believed in me to a point where even if all those accusations were true, they believed that I could change. That’s… something I never thought I’d hear, ever, in my life. That is a form of trust I don’t deserve, really.

So, I was wrong again. Not everyone wanted me gone. It took all of this for me to realize that there were people who loved me in the truest form of it.

As for everyone who cut me off… well, I hope you understand that because of my mental issues, I can never trust you beyond a professional level. It is for my own wellbeing, because I’m still not doing good. I will still be taking that break. The PAYDAY 2 fandom was a source of reprieve for me, and now it’s not. It wasn’t an accident that it turned out that way. All my safe spaces have been taken from me. I don’t know why the Panic Room server hated me, so I can’t provide any extra insight on that.

The truth is, I haven’t been around because I’ve been dealing with depression for a long time. I’ve been passively… yknow. Not actively. I haven’t had the energy to respond to anything on most days, I’m sorry for that :(

All of this was just the breaking point, really.

Thank you for reading. I know most people won’t, but I appreciate those who do. I won’t blame the rest of you if you all decide to leave as well, I understand that. I never made the blog for other people, I made it for myself. This whole thing will serve as a reminder that there are more important things than online spaces. Can’t get therapy because I’m broke, but I can enjoy the few things I still can… even if I’m reminded of what I’ve lost. I don’t think I’ll really be here anymore, but I will be okay.

[todayisafridaynight]

plane scene is so funny cause why is mine a sleeper agent that wakes up whenever daigo is mentioned

can’t wait to see it in dragon engine :3

mine has been the winner for Funniest Character Imaginable for 15 consecutive years and i have yet to see anyone come close i fear

[moxielynx]

mini Twitter rant because I’m really upset at this info. Genuinely who in the writing room thought that was a good idea to make canon. Ultra dragon has been there since SEASON 1 and they don’t even fucking mention it in the show that it’s dead??? Let alone that the throne was made of its bones????? I went and rewatched the scene that shows his throne to see if there was ANY hint that the bones were ultra dragon’s and at MOST we got Kai saying “His throne… I already hate it.” Literally NO IMPLICATION that it was ultra dragon’s

This shit is why I don’t trust what the writers say half the time on Twitter, they make up shit that was never in the show to “explain” something but they don’t even make sense half the time, this shit is nawt canon to me fuck that

[unwritten-fanfiction]

I did a fanart

There's no path of trampled flowers around so I guess they all flew down while in whimsical laying position idk, just don't think about it lol

[iguessitsjustme]

Listen. Do I know it's a bad idea to go into the MDL comments? Yes. Do I do it anyway? Of course I do. I'm nosy. I want to see what disasters are happening in there.

[dennisboobs]

i wrote another rambly dennis analysis and deleted it <3 y'all don't need that