#like its that or someone Did something to this drink but it was from a housemate's stash. oh my god i wanted more of this im so glad im in
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a motive to stay.
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fluff. gn!reader × wanderer. wc 575
summary. rainy day of silent care !
this very day, it has been pouring rain. as a diligent student of akademiya of sumeru, you could not stay home—even if you wanted to be wrapped in snug blankets with a hot drink of your choice, watching rain droplets race on your bedroom window.
the fear of being late to finish entrusted work of yours, caught up real quick, pressuring you to reach the library swiftly. the biggest worry was not entirely the fact of soaking your clothes or dishevelling your hairstyle, but rather the few books you had to carry without drenching them—you surely did not want to rewrite it by hand for the next few days instead of doing something else.
for a minute, you stopped under the thriving viridescent tree to take cover, although all the leaves were so thin, the droplets were able to land on your shoulders either way. the weather pricked your cheeks and fingertips with cold.
in a moment you feel something heavier on your head, obscuring your vision in the process. you were not used to the weight the hat gives and you were not able to balance it due to its wide edges either, leading you to stumble a bit forward.
you did not fall, of course you did not when there was someone ready to catch you if you did—encircling your waist with his hand, wanderer gently pushed you to go the flooded road onward the akademiya. “let's go,” he simply murmurs. to tell the truth, he did want to bite some harsh remarks to you, to tease you, but he did not after seeing the form of you holding those books, he held back for once.
despite wanderer presently being the one drenching with rain, you got all the space needed under his large hat (to be honest, you never really saw him without it, and neither he did let anyone as close as that either). right now, he is starting to look like a stray wet cat.
he insisted that the hat he gave you was for the couple of books to stay undamaged from the rainpour. yet you both secretly know it is solely done for you to keep you warm, safe, and dry since he wanted to do so.
by the time you reach akademiya, the weather clears up. as it was on purpose.
you stayed there until the dawn, studying. at one point, you catch wanderer watching you reading as he was imitating his. you do not question it… once, twice, thrice.
the next hour he is bringing you a cup of hot beverage. “give me your hands.” you look at him astonished. he is expecting it like a demand and you oblige. he is holding your palms softly, wrapping them around the pretty mug he chose with effort. it is warm and you shake frantically no more.
he persisted, he certainly did not want to bother himself carrying you home if you got sick. yet you both secretly know it is solely done for you to keep you cozy and secure since he wanted to do so.
wanderer is not one with words of comfort, but his actions indeed scream louder than ever. your heart flutters. his care for you was as clear as the blue sky, however he was blinded by the dark grey clouds of rain he manifested your way today.
he only just wanted a motive to stay and spend some time with you.
#genshin impact#wanderer x gn reader#wanderer fluff#genshin x reader#wanderer x reader#genshin fluff#genshin impact fluff#scaramouche x reader#genshin impact wanderer#genshin wanderer#persephone – works ☆
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Flustered ⊱✿⊰ Nanami Kento
AU: You’re a teacher at Jujutsu High and it’s nothing like the movies. They embellished it all for good TV! No one dies or defects, you exorcise curses, level up through the power of friendship and make it back to the dorms just in time for dinner. You’re the school’s new bombshell teacher who's taken a liking to another teacher!
Reader Info: Office siren style and sweet bimbo personality but you’re a genius on the battlefield with a strong technique.
wc: 790 | prev next (coming soon)
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It was drinks Nanami agreed to and, honestly, he didn’t mind going out with coworkers. It was an important part of office culture and a drink every now and then didn’t hurt. Still, if anyone but you would’ve asked, he probably would’ve said no.
Nanami hadn’t seen you for the rest of the day, he didn’t have the gall to ask you to clarify anyway. Woman like partners that listened and- Nanami didn’t let that thought go any further. You two just met and he needs to focus on the reason he came back.
Nanami arrives at the bar later than he anticipated. Waiting for Gojo was a bad idea but the idiot wouldn’t tell him where the bar was. He’s irritated and in need of a drink, he nabs the seat right across from you.
His irritation is replaced with nerves.
Your gaze is predatory. No one had told you Nanami was such a hunk. Broad shoulders, tight biceps and thick thighs. You wanted to devour him.
Someone had ordered drinks, mugs of beer are sat on the table and you’re quick to pass them out. You had arrived early with Shoko and finished a bottle of sake together. The warmth of intoxication was welcoming.
You push a mug down in Nanami’s direction who stops it and immediately tosses it back. You’re taken back by his enthusiasm.
“Do you drink much Nanami,” your voice is saccharine sweet. He squirms under your attention.
“I don’t mind one or two after work.”
“Oh,” you sip your own beer, “what’s your go to drink?”
“Whiskey.” He deadpans efficiently killing the conversation.
Shoko pulls you for conversation before Nanami could even try to come up with more to say. He’s not a conversation guy. He doesn’t do small talk. He sips on his drink while everyone begins to fill the table with empty glasses. You turn to him occasionally asking random questions.
“What did you do when you quit teaching?”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Why’d you come back? Aside from the kid.”
“Do you like coffee? You look like you’d like black coffee.”
Nanami answers each one with unnoticeable enthusiasm.
Empty glasses are cleared to make room for another round. Nanami’s only on his second drink, he planned to leave after this one. Shoko’s attention was on some game the table had started playing. Placing all your attention on him.
Your face is flushed, propped up on an elbow leaning over the table, eyes dazed with alcohol and limbs loose. You switch to your left hand, a lazy smile on your face, eyes sizing him up. Predatory.
Your gaze locks in on his chest. Nanami wouldn’t admit to puffing his chest out to give you a better view. Something rubbing up his calf startles him. You grin harder.
“You alright, Nanami?”
“Yeah,” his voice is strained. The foot rubs up.
“How much do you lift, Nanami?”
It rubs down. “Do you have a special routine for your chest?”
You sit back in your chair. Making a grabbing motion at your own chest. Nanami’s eyes dart down and away when he realizes where he’s looking.
Your foot slides up again, he hadn’t even realized you kicked your heels off until a stocking covered toe inches its way up the inseam of his pants. He jumps up.
“I should get going.”
Nanami isn’t good with attention and now it’s all on him.
He downs the rest of his drink, holding his suit jacket right over the bulge in his pants. He turns to his colleagues, eyes flittering to you naturally. You’re filling up his every thought, your low and needy eyes, plump gloss covered lips, the rise and fall of your chest.
He’s enamored.
“Have a good night everyone,” he tears his gaze away from you, “I am, heading home.”
“Why so red, Nanami?” Of course it’s Gojo, smug and knowing, teasing.
Nanami gives him a blank stare.
“Night Nanami,” your sultry voice pulls at his attention. “It was nice talking to you, I enjoyed our conversation.”
He doesn’t know what to say. A groan is trapped in his chest at your tone. Your Interest was enough to turn him on. Nanami grips his jacket tighter letting out a shaky sigh. He wishes it was just the two of you, as if he could even talk to you. It was laughable to be this shy and nervous around woman at his age but he didn’t stand a chance against you.
Nanami bows, too worked up to say anything else and heads home.
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Pearl (Visual Novel)
Created by: RootFU
Genre: Romance
Although this one is a demo, I am a sucker for yandere type monsters and the artwork in this is gorgeous. It's pretty simple though, with the idea of going out with friends on a bit of an ocean adventure after having some nightmares before a storm comes in.
The story starts out with Pearl having a nightmare, someone dragging them into the ocean. They wake up with a start, remarking how their nightmares have been difficult for them. They drive to the ocean to meet up with their friends, who have planned an event for them to help them feel better about their nightmares. Once arriving at the beach, they meet with one of their friends, Katherine, who has been waiting for them. Their other friend, Derek has gone to get drinks and probably flirt with another girl and is likely to fail spectacularly. When he does come back, Katherine reveals that they are actually going to sail to Kruelto island, unlike their original plan of just hanging out on the beach. However, as they sail out, the weather starts to get bad, raining and storming and they get stuck in a middle of a cyclone. Pearl bumps their head and wakes up to a merman trying to take care of them. If they freak out and attack them, he will get angry for them calling him a monster and snakes will come out to attack and kill them. If not, Pearl will freak out, and the merman will calm them down, with Pearl possibly complimenting him and making him blush. After some conversation, Pearl realizes that Derek and Katherine are missing and goes to look them, however, when he does find them, the merman is nowhere to be seen.
The next day, the storm seems to have kicked in, and after taking a nice sleep, goes to take a shower. However, upon turning on the faucet, they see a strange goo coming out of the tap. The goo reforms into the merman, who explains his situation of how lonely he felt and asks Pearl to come back to Kruelto with him to be together with him, basically telling Pearl that they can become a merperson like him. Pearl tries to back off, but the merperson grabs onto their legs. When Pearl asks why, the merman explains that they were the only person that didn't turn their back on him. Regardless of if you choose to go back or to stay, the demo will end.
So as I said before, the demo is relatively short, but the artwork is very pretty, especially the artwork of the mermaid and his CGs. There's a great mystery to what's going on with Pearl and the dreams, which likely seem to be caused by the merman himself, or at least somewhat related to them. However, it does seem like the merman has never met Pearl before prior to their initial encounter, so I'm not sure how true this might be. The merman, who you can name, also seems to be pretty touchy about whether or not he's seen as a human or not, especially since he sends out snakes to attack Pearl if Pearl attacks him first. I'm not sure if these are actually a part of him, or if they're more akin to familiars, but it does make me wonder where they came from. Perhaps its a power that he will use if Pearl refuses to go with him back to the island. Either way, I hope it's something that we'll be able to see soon after. The other thing I thought was pretty cool was the idea of the merman being able to basically turn into goo and come in through the faucet, though that does lead to a bunch of other questions, like how did he know where Pearl's house was, what happens when he loses too much of his goo, and generally how does he rearrange himself afterwards. Unfortunately, as with a lot of demos, we know very little about why the merman specifically is into Pearl, other than they were the first human that he had seen in such a long time that treated them kindly. Does make me wonder what other poor humans woke up confused to find a giant merman with three eyes staring at them.
Overall, interesting concept and pretty art. I really hope that this game has more going on later down the line because the idea of yandere monsters is very fun and very lacking currently.
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Oh absolutely. In the reboot seasons we see a couple things that link back to the skybound arc, like Jays fear of rope bridges. He's not one to open up about his feelings when it comes to things like this, so he hasn't spoken to anyone about what happened, or rather, didn't happen, since the timeline was erased or whatever, and Nya probably wanted to avoid it all together as well.
Let's be real here, Jay got it the worst in that season. What Nya delt with was gross and disgusting, and dying must have been a weird feeling, but Jay was literally tortured. Like, you can't call it anything else. (Cause in case you didn't know, torture isn't just locking someone in a room and beating them in many fun and creative ways.)
Nya didn't really fight back, she saw no point, they would overpower her and win anyway. But Jay continued to fight back. Refused to break. The reason Nadakhan did whatever it took to break him. I wouldn't be surprised if after everything, Jay found a way of coping by counting heads. Making sure everyone is still there.
Also, I personally choose to believe Nadakhan s*xually ass*lted Jay at least once. And before anyone comes at me about how its a kids show, or about Nadakhan marrying Nya because she was the spitting image of his dead girlfriend, we all know how kids shows are, implications like this happen more often then you think, and I'm not saying it cause I believe he had some kind of sexual interest in Jay. Thats not the case at all.
Nadakhan wanted to break Jay. Make him use his last wish. Everything else he was doing wasn't working, he had to think of something. Now let's look back, at the start, Jays made to clean the deck and whatever else Nadakhan says, when that didn't work, he introduced the scrap 'n tap game. After what, a few hours? Of the game, Jay was locked in a cell. He got food and an eypatch from Clancee, then tricked by Flintlock, that then turned into another game of Scrap 'n tap. The next time we see Jay is when Cole finds him. In Nadakhans room. Why would Jay be there when they have a cell? We know its Nadakhans room cause there was a bed, a cupboard, and a couple drink. Nadakhans drinks. Cole went in there to put the Tiger Widow Venom in one of the drinks for Nadakhan to drink. "Oh but it could be a crew mates room" why would Nadakhan have a room for his crew mates? And why would Cole be going to one if their rooms with the poison meant for Nadakhan? This brings me back, why was Jay in Nadakhans room? Sure, he wasn't on the bed, but he probably wouldn't wanna be there anyway. Its not like he was hiding in there to see if he could find a way out. Nadakhan just didn't pay attention to where he was cause he was focused in other stuff. And I doubt he would have left a key in his room knowing he'd probably have a visit from the rest of the ninja or Jay would try and find a way to get a key. Also, Jay seemed to have just woken up when Cole found him.
I don't think about Skybound a lot.
But when I do, my heart basically falls out of my chest.
Like what do you mean Jay went through all of that?? What do you mean he was abused on that ship for who knows how long? The show seems to want us to believe it's a couple days but I refuse to accept that. It had to be a few weeks if not longer.
It sucks that Jay lost his memories in Dragons Rising but honestly, at least he doesn't remember the atrocities that happened to him on Misfortunes Keep because what the FUCK.
#ninjago#lego ninjago#skybound#ninjago skybound#jay walker#jay ninjago#ninjago jay#nadakhan#ninjago nadakhan#mentioned SA
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I think I am doing this right I have a request. It is about vampire buddy tfp. When she Mets the decepticons. I have a few ideas. One of them is that she has relationship with Airachnid. She doesn’t attack her or talk to her either it’s more like a relationship coworkers. Airachnid- buddy is that you how long has it been. Buddy-…….”waves happy” Another is that she stays away from megatron because of the dark energon inside of him. Another is how she meet breakdown Buddy- “drinking blood of an unconscious Vehicon”. Breakdown- walking by “WHAT THE SLAG IS THAT” start pointing at buddy Last one is that she is in escape experiment from shockwave. Starscream- “WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THAT!!!” Shockwave- because starscream she will eat and eat until she’s a mindless monster. Every day she will become hunger and hunger until she can’t think right. And she knows that so she will come here to long for something to prevent that. And when she takes the bait we strike”. I hope this ins’t to much and can you do something what you did last time. Like having each of their reactions to this please. Thank you for reading this request
Been a while since we've seen Vampire Con Buddy, lets see what she's doing!
Hope you enjoy!
Vampire Con Bot Buddy on the Nemesis
SFW, Platonic, Mention of Vampire activity, Mention of injuries, Mention of Stalking, Cybertronian reader
TFP
Alternative title: 3 Things Vampire Con Buddy has done on the Nemesis
1. ‘Manifest from the Shadows’
Buddy doesn’t have this ability… that she can confirm.
As far as she can tell, she can just be really still in the shadows, and it takes others a long time to figure out she was in the same room.
Most of the time it is not on purpose.
She is just very quiet and still when she isn’t on the hunt.
Though there are times that Buddy does leverage this edge.
Starscream is walking around the Nemesis. He looks around and sighs. No one is here. He turns to his left and a pair of red optics stare right back at him. Starscream: “GGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!” The Second in Command screams and runs away. Arachnid walks around the corner chuckling to herself as Buddy walks from the shadows. Arachnid: “Good work.” Buddy just nods as the spider passes them an energon cube. She makes a face while looking at Arachnid. Arachnid: “Take it or leave it.” Buddy grumbles and starts drinking the energon from the cube.
2. Kidnapping
Due to Buddy’s ‘peculiar’ tastes, she has a trouble time ingesting regular energon like most bots.
She found it must better consume it through the neck cables of other Cybertronians.
Normally, they would simply go out and search for a frame close by or an Autobot that wandered too far into Decepticon territory.
But since arriving on Earth, food sources have been scares.
Good thing Buddy had a backup plan.
She would go after some lower ranked Con’s and sip bit of their energon.
Never fully draining, they were still needed to fight.
Steve is walking with Breakdown. They notice a Vechicon slowly getting up from the floor with his servo on his helm. Breakdown: “Hey there, you alright?” The con shakes his helm and gives him a thumbs up. Steve spots two small holes on the cons neck cable. Steve: “Buddy got him.” Breakdown shudders. Breakdown: “If there’s one con here besides Arachnid that I hate its Buddy. With her creepy—” Buddy falls from the vents with energon covering part of her face. Breakdown, Steve and the other Vechicon: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
3. Stalking
One of Buddy’s habits.
For some strange reason, she would select one con at random and simply stalk them.
The Con could be in the air, Buddy is just a couple feet away.
The Con could be underwater, Buddy is on their left.
The Con could even be in deep space!
Buddy is never too far.
After a short period of time, she would select someone else to stalk and the cycle repeats.
Shockwave is in his lab. Buddy is a couple feet away just watching him. Starscream walks in, momentarily jumping at the sight of Buddy on the floor. Starscream: “How are you not affected by her being there?” Shockwave: “It would be illogical to feel that way. She has done nothing to cause me discomfort, thus, illogical to feel threaten.” Starscream huffs, his wings flaring a bit. Starscream: “…Word has it around the Nemesis that she is your creation Shockwave. Is that true? Is that logical?” Starscream’s taunting voice hitching at the last comment. Shockwave stops momentarily. Shockwave: “… Perhaps.” Starscream freezes. Starscream: “what?” Shockwave ignores him and hands him some data pads. Shockwave: “Lord Megatron requires these.” Starscream grumbles and walks out of the lab. Starscream: : “Megatron requires this… well I’ll show—GGGAAAAHHH!” He jumped noticing Buddy was following him now. Starscream: “No! No! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!”
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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has happened plenty around iconis goings on but what an all-timer
#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#13th annual xmas#do i mean being floored like oh even to hear of it; do i mean that it happened; do i mean that joe iconis shared the whole scene asap? Yea#on this Wow They Made The Day From The Christmas Show Into A Thing day & being reminded of this like let's get that kleinsen moodboard cut#semi accuracy generally around like the Joeuvre Iconisography Works Will Surprise / Do Unexpected Things#but sometimes i can go in with whatever details make me suspect i'll have an Extra great time & be so very correct#& sometimes i can be like please won't someone post the krampusfucking & here's joe himself like you rang. Yes#& that was the sexiest thing of all....the comedic krampusfucking bico but shoutout to saving the day w/clips of your own show you put on#i may be rushing things but. post the scenes again Now#also i will deftly say the xmas show in general b/c if it's not a gift that keeps on giving & also unstoppable & just so [hrraaaughhrrhg]#chaotic accurate pov baby please come home snow throwing clip ;o;#& when i tell you bsol & xmas are dancing cheek to cheek it's also the indirect like pointing ohh i know you w/the voice & the smile#skeleton is krampus is jeremy morse is from bsol which i've been thinking of getting around to for years but that's how it is w/anything#New Media a whole thing & indeed might be that slow getting on it even if i intend to. well already i'd been thinking about it again like#hmm humm....the kinda scarcity of info like something to latch on to would help. & spaghetti western hero needs to rescue his wife as#most the info known isn't very latchy like well godspeed; & even figuring yknow w/an iconis work a solid time ft any fun is guaranteed#so when i've Been like hmm yeah perhaps bsol time soon but then going like ah so i'll probably have a High Time w/the villain at least huh#felt it coming on Exponentially in a [momentum on your side] way like intrigue & frequency of Hmming about it#then had a great time like adhd be damned i sat there & did Nothing while listening to that audio & only paused for like bathroom/drinks#had a great time & ever since have been intermittently saying things to the room enthusiastically / with Niche Inspiration#to no one's surprise....so i'm also delighted if the brief little [majorest & minorest villain] doubled role influenced xmas krampus lol#now there's some trivia & a loop of funny little guys. & once again like for in the iconisography? if you had a nickel....#plus yknow w/the xmas show Overall like i was saying w/Kinda knowing abt it in time for the '19 12th annual show like wough....#we do need a little christmas extravaganza before my spirit falls again (surprising amount of post bmc malaise) & i'm curious#smthing to latch on to there for sure like ah villain wrole how fun? then like i said w/some Glimpses like oh the chestnut medley Energy#in that urgent choreography urgent harmonizing lmao i was so delighted like the beginning of catching onto the degree of playfulness#only the beginning; was still in that process when in the middle of its off years i was like lemme dig into this as Archive/Research#& now here we are & i'm having a high time w/any glimpses past & present (gonna be a minute re: future) celebrate christmac & cheese#even rewatching this video to get this screenshot for the hundredth time snort laughed buhYoot iful what's yuour hurraayy(ah)
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#coworkers decided to do an impromptu happy hour today and must have made this decision while i was away from my desk at lunch.#bc i got back and they were just. all gone. and i only found out bc our boss swung by my desk before he left and told me.#and i know it wasnt intentional (at least i don't think it was) but idk man! just feels kinda shitty! yall could've left a note or something#but anyways. boss was like you should come! but i. did not go. partially bc im kind of a little sore about that actually?#but also they went to a beer place and i. dont drink beer. and like yeah yeah go for the people not the place but also. idk just.#it's cold and rainy and today has kind of sucked too so like. im not really in the mood#(which HONESTLY was probably the point of going out bc NO ONE is in the mood)#but. ugh.#now im going to spend the whole weekend trying to think of what im going to say when someone inevitably asks me why i wasn't there#and they all probably think im antisocial or whatever#esp bc like. im pretty quiet at work too. like. i feel awkward just jumping into conversations sometimes bc like.#im still the newbie on the team. like i just got moved to this one at the end of august#but these people have been working together for like years now.#so like they all know each other!!! theyre all super comfortable with each other!!!!#but im still new im still getting to know them all!!! and like idk. just feels awkward to insert myself into those conversations#even if im probably allowed to. so i just. dont.#and ugh. its a vicious cycle i know. 😔#but anyways.#wow that was so much oversharing how embarrassing#whatever. what is the internet for if not embarrassing amounts of oversharing 🤷♀️#N E WAYS.
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Fell back asleep for a while (still have a horrible headache btw) and I had the most disturbing dream that I'm going to tell you guys about in the tags
#so i was on a road trip with a bunch of people i dont even know and there were like 10 of us packed into a van#and they were so fucking loud and my head was hurting even in my dream so i was like CAN EVERYONE PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP#and we get to this hotel or like house place thats like a hotel#amd we go inside and i go check the fridge and there was a thick lemonade snoothie looking drink in this clear pitcher in the fridge#and i pulled it out and look inside and there was a live fucking lizard in there all covered in the smoothie stuff trying to escape#and i was like damn i should let that outside in a minute#but i went to looks for meds first bc like i said my head was hurting even in my dream#and when i come back the pitcher is empty (no lizard no smoothie stuff)#and i was like ...... did someone drink this??#and this guy was like nah that was cake batter i put in the oven#and i was like YOU FUCKING PUT IT WHERE????#so i get this sheet pan out of the oven and there is a half baked cake and in the middle was the lizard all charred and dead looking#and i was like fuck dude you killed it#but then#BUT THEN#the fucking lizard gets up and jumped out of the cake batter and starts speed running around the place like up on the walls and ceiling#and it seemed pissed as hell#like rightfully so bc someone tried to bake it into a cake but still#so i was running around trying to stay away from it bc i got the impression that it would bite whoever it got close to#and then i woke up and for a second it felt like something was crawling on me#and i had a small/brief panic as i checked the bed for any lizards (there was nothing there)#and now im awake and my head hurts even worse and my throat hurts and my body hurts and its very possible that im sick
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ok yknow whats oddly intimate? having a friend do your makeup.
like im v weird abt being touched not bc i hate the idea but bc its not natural to me, or something im used to, and sometimes i rly do forget how touch starved i am.
#its been a weird 24hrs#look ive had rly severe anxiety for most my life and also bc the autism#i very rarely if ever feel genuinely comfortable and safe and unjudged around anyone#but like im getting there#like my coworker - technically boss - but im 2iC so we're more of a team - has rly been there for me over the years#granted she did try to get me fired when she first started and i was a casual but fair - i didnt know abt it at the time - she told me later#but fair - i was a p shit employee bc i was too anxious to do my job and i was sick a lot and just overall wasnt cut out for it#but i stepped up and she rly became a mentor and then a friend#and its just so nice to have someone who doesnt judge me and i know i dont have to be scared of saying The Wrong Thing#bc if we disagree or i mess up - i know she will tell me and we'll work it out#and anyways it was my birthday yesterday#and she and i and one of the other girls from work went out#and i had such a good time and then i crashed at her place too#but ahahaa she was watching me try to do my makeup#and look i only wear makeup when i drink or go to fancy dinners nd thats only a few tima a year#like i do not know what im doing with makeup and she's watching me and just says 'stop' and grabs my face and starts doing it for me#and look it was a bit hard to not feel Something™ ngl but anyways i did look really good
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oh my god u know the hrt is working when u get genuinely white girl drunk
#ive never been this drunk before this is crazy. the gender euphoria of not having any tolerance despite being able to drink 4 drinks a year#ago#like its that or someone Did something to this drink but it was from a housemate's stash. oh my god i wanted more of this im so glad im in#bed rn i could have made so many bad decisions#im like this close to posting one of the thirst(?) pics i took on my sideblog that i havent touched in a month#oh my god im fucking up so many words . gang im not pretending here i drank like 2 shots tops and its Fucking me somehow#WAIT I CAN EDIT TAGS#typos fixed :sunglasses:#genuinely crazy how much im feeling it tho ive literally Never felt it this much. id ask if ibuprofen or spiro interact w alcohol but i#think there was a decent amount of time between when i took both#yeah like i took spiro ~10:57 and then uh drank after. 11 hm ok this isnt as spaced out as i expected#i dont think im going to alcohol jail tho. im being responsible im In Bed im not gonna go do anything stupid (altho i do. want to ask#someone downstairs to do something stupid. but maybe thats the alcohol talking)#also shileas is downstairs and shes a bitch and i dont want to be cringy in front of her#i dont know if shes trans or just a really masc lesbian btw . shes cool but she also has some bad takes sometimes and i dont think she#likes me#im writng so many tags <3 but thats what love is. if anyones read this far idk like the post or something#you know the one post where the person puts an egg in their mouth. and then people share the tags. this is that#i was gonna be typing this out on a discord server but i thought no. this deserves to have everyone see it#man also if i went down and asked like if anyone wants to fuck like who would say yes . shileas is a super senior maeve is in a relationshi#p#i dont like riley and . man idk about griffin. but i think im a lesbian. maybe im just desperate.#bUT IM NOT GONNA. im not gonna.#i dont want to sleep tho i want to have fun :(( but my roommate is asleep#& its not like anyones gonna fuck me on this bed . with like my lovies (thats what i call my stuffed animals) and shit .#i genuinely didnt expect that i could get this drunk and whats crazy is i know i could be more drunk#can u imagine if someone reads this and goes 'well shes clearly sober and faking it' no </3 im simply very eloquent i was neglected as#a child so i read alot lol#whoops *a lot not alot#wasnt there a limit of like 26 tags. when do i hit that
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Why are there always new symptoms showing up?? I just want a fucking break ;-;
#hello and on todays episode of wtf is wrong with resident hypochondriac opossum#i think maybe im extremely dehydrated and cant absorb fluids properly from drinking them (i think this for a variety of reasons)#and its starting to become very concerning and i think i need iv fluids like asap but i have no insurance#and also if i did theyd think i was crazy and not treat me condescend me and possible even admit me to inpatient msntal health#also having severe pain in my throat spreading to my skull that feels like someone jabbing me from the inside#which could be a sign of a compressed nerve so that fun /s#jesus christ im so tired i need a break i need this to stop#the pain alone is making me dizzy#and making me sweat which is dehydrating me more#ive tried everything i can think of and nothings working#i drink plenty ive cut out caffiene before i drink electrolyte drinks i make sure i eat enough salt etc etc#and its NEVER enough#oh yeah cant forget the compression socks and two different meds i tried to help me not pass put#guess what they didnt work either#and now im worried that my dehydration might be causing my hallucinations because they arent typical for psychosis#and maybe even my seizures which is really really bad#like i could go into a coma and die if i continue this way bad#but like that cant possibly be whats going on right? surely im just exaggerating because of anxiety#theres no way itd be that bad#my gf is basically a doctor and she would've done something by now if it was that bad#but hhh#why do i feel like this#why else do my hallucinations get worse whenever i sweat or exercise#why else do i have an extremely fast heart rate and fainting and im thirsty all the time but the second i drink i have to go pee already
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SCREAM ok so swag .. found my besties on this tour theyre also w their parents & theyre 3 vietnamese siblings between 19-24 & im obsessed w them but i’m also an alcoholic so i keep getting drunk & shouldnt even b around ppl bc im going to be seeing them everyday for the next like 2 weeks
#stream#this is so fucking funny ALSKALSKLASKALSKALKS#like at dinner i was like ok SO HERES THE TEA ON WEED & THE ECONOMY#‘ first of y’all do u know what delta 8 is’ ‘ur too young to know what spice was’ none of them have smoked weed despite living in california#their entire lives#ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLA i felt mildly racist asking ‘are u a u.s. citizen’ BUT LIEK ALSKALSKALKSLA THEIR PARENTS ARE IMMIGRANTS HOW WOULD I KNOW#like my girly Ngoc wasn’t a citizen but she had a PERFECT american accent like 😭😭😭 SOMETIMES PPL JUST ARENT#idk but also it seems like they’ve money so it’s funny whenever i’m like ‘bc we’re poor’ bc like they went/go to private universities &#shit & can pay out of pocket totally#fine like ALSKALSKLAKSLAKALA WISH I COULD RELATE GIRLY !!!! ALL I THINK ABT IS MONEY & YHAT IM BROKE#like my dream of being a dr was shattered years ago ALSKALKSLAKALAKSLAKSLA y’all got med school money ? BC I SURE DONT ALSKALSKALKSKASLAKSLA#ugh forever wish i could’ve gone but whatever it sfine i’m going to stick w US POORS#BUT ALSO LITERALLY ITS SO FUCKIN FUNNY this guy omg he did a dual degree too & he just graduated like i did ECON THEN POLY SCI & he did the#EXACT OPPOSITE - POLI SCI THEN ECON#SCREMA so fucking funny bc like yes … stan … we get to GOSSIP omg he’s a J.S. Mill stan but lowkey i’m a smith stan but like i’m also a#smith literalist i SHOULD SAY#i made that up by that i mean explicitly that i agree w his views of sales and choice rather than ‘should be’ but ‘what IS’#im FAR too drunk#omg i did something i’d never do: finished someone’s drink after they’d drank from it#like me ? put lips on someone’s cup thag i haven’t had sex w ? girl …#ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLA LIKE I NEEDED THE REST OF THE WINE INONLY HAD LIKE 3 GLASSES#that sounds so bad oh my god#ALAKLSKALKALKSLAKSLSKLKALAL#me avoiding as hard as possible to admitting to myself that i struggle w alcoholism#me realizing that i’d just be an alcoholic if breathalyzers weren’t a thing or id not have to drive
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One time my mom took me to a hibachi grill with a bunch of her friends and if you've never been to a hibachi grill basically the draw is that theres a bunch of interactive performance stuff done by the cook who cooks for you at your table, and one of the tricks they did at this one was take a squeeze bottle full of liquor and shoot it into your mouth across the table (with permission)
And now at our table my mom explained this because it was my first time going, and she wanted to make sure to warn me it was liquor because she knows I don't drink- she just said "if he offers to shoot at your mouth, say no because it's alcohol".
And so the chef does his thing and it's all very impressive, but the time does come where he pulls out this squeeze bottle of booze and asks me if I wanna try
I of course say no, because I really don't do alcohol, so he moves on to someone else
And I watch, and slowly come to understand that this is some sort of game, because once someone is drinking from the continuous flow the chef starts counting "ONE! TWO! THREE!"
I realize that we're trying to see who can keep drinking the liquor from three feet away without choking or spilling, and its a bummer cause i kinda wanna try and I CAN'T
But he goes around the table with everyone there, and I think my mom makes it to three, one friend makes it to five, I think my brother got to three as well, and he comes back to me
And I'm REALLY bummed out now but I will not drink alcohol, so I sort of sadly repeat that I can't when he pulls out a SECOND BOTTLE and grins and goes "juice?"
And Im like FUCK YEAH LET'S GO and I'm a bit worried he's gonna spray it into my eye or something but he doesn't, it hits me right at the back of the throat, and I start drinking while the whole fucking table counts "ONE! TWO! THREE!"
And like
It just sorta
Kept going?
And Im looking at the chef and he starts freaking out by the time we get to six, and at around seven I kinda start looking around and my auntie is staring back in shock, my brother is laughing his ass off and my mom has her face in her hands
And then at like nine or ten it gets like. Super tense and quiet, and only the chef is still counting
And I guess it got too much for even him cause we're at eleven and I don't believe in quitting early and it is almost painful how awkward it's getting
So he cuts me off at twelve and raises his hands in the air and everyone else cheers and claps like a dumb movie
and I just sit back in my seat to look back at my mother staring at me surrounded by everyone she knows, bright fucking red in the face and choking with honest to god tears in her eyes and she puts her face back in her palms and starts chanting "I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know"
So I give her the biggest, proudest grin and tell her, "I won."
So now every time something suggestive happens in a movie, or in conversation, or something shocking happens around us and she goes to jokingly cover my ears, I just ask her, "Remember when I won?" And she goes face-down and groans, because I know EXACTLY how she thinks I trained to develop that particular skill and she HATES knowing that about me
The truth is though, I'm a whole ass 28 year old virgin. I've never so much as kissed anyone in my life. I had no idea I could do that trick until that exact moment
But she doesn't know that, and I'm never gonna tell her
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Ough I fucking hate holidays because it is my duty as a child to visit my parents and just take whatever the fuck happens to me.
#oh wow i cant wait to have to endure an unspecified amount of time of getting told to leave and never come back and being informed that#everyone felt so much better without me there; and immediately after that getting told 'Where do you think youre going?! Are you nuts?!'#when i try to leave. since when someone tells me that i shouldnt have come and that im a burden i do in fact assume that i should leave#ill be day drinking from the moment i wake up again. i hate that. it always happens when i am forced to visit my parents#for more than a day#it is impossible to take it while feeling present. feeling out of it and not there helps. it makes everything hurt less#it makes me want to throw up. it makes me want to do nothing but run for several days. not because of disgust and not because of anxiety#but simply because i know that the most important topic of all the conversation will be peoples looks.#simply because there is a correct way to look in the eyes of my mother and there is a way to be safe from her and others violence#and those two things both rely on reducing yourself into nothing. so looking at food makes me want to puke. looking at milk#makes me want to puke. and i hate it. i hate it because i just want to be happy and i dont want to make my health even worse#than it already is but what am i supposed to do when the alternative is getting hurt? what then; huh?#theyll tear my body to pieces no matter what; its just a matter of getting torn apart in a good way. of letting them be disgusting in a#way they think is flattering. theyll all tear everyones body to pieces of course#every imperfection and flaw microanalysed exaggerated and then judged until it has been concluded that X and Y are horrible rotten people#because they *checks notes* have overgrown nails and are 5 pounds heavier than you#when im there for a day i tend to skip eating for the next two days or so#im worried about my health considering i dont know for how long ill be there this time#shell tear me to pieces. she always does. my grandma will too. my father will at least have the grace to just yell some slurs if i fail#to perform to his satisfaction. man i dont even care about being called the r word anymore. he can call me that all he wants#it stings but its nothing im not aware of. i know that im stupid and i know that im too dependent and i know that im useless and cant do#anyhing and i know that i disappointed everyone because they all thought i could do better.#thats fine. i know that im weak and i know that im a pansy baby and i know that thats why ill be getting something to cry about.#thats all fine. im ok with that. its one and done and it was way worse when i was a kid.#my father is pretty ok. but getting torn to shreds by my mother and her mother sticks with me. it always does.#im worried shell hurt me again. ill do something incorrectly. ill ask her for clarification one too many times. ill breathe too loud.#ill fail to notice the way shes holding herself (angry). ill fail to notice the tone of her steps (enraged). ill fail to apologise#for something i hadnt known i did. and then shell hurt me. shell hurt me again#and ill just have to stand there and take it like the good child im not and could never be because nobody could ever be considered good by#my mother. ill have to stand there and take it because thats my duty as a child and ill have to say 'im sorry' even though ill be the one
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i dont know how to connect these pieces together, except for something regarding how the characterization is done, but venture bros, homestuck, utena, house, some others i cant think of rn... something about the way the characters interact and build in these captivates me. the complexities, the almost... impromptu way these characters develop so naturally, and i think it comes from different places in most of these though homestuck and venture bros probably holds the most similarity in terms of expertly utilizing retroactive foreshadowing to create beautiful and complex character relationships. house feels like it moreso... accidentally happens upon great and logical character development lol. i usually wonder if im reading too far into it when i watch particularly great moments. and utena's characters feel so 3d because they really are-- the sheer amount of different utena stories that adds and expands and also contracts on different aspects of each character ends up building a very 3d and symbolic picture in the mind.
#house might kind of seem like a curveball in this but theres something about the way the characters interact and#progress and regress and progress again that is evocative of these other pieces#i need to know why house is so good i know its not david shore because the good doctor fucking blows#the worst part of that is mr. the good doctor is like. the best written character in the show. if that tells you how dog shit it is#theres an episode where he runs away from his apartment because his (reasonably of course!!1!) coddling father figure keeps trying to push#him to go to therapy but mr good doctor can be normal and do it on his own you see. and good doctor gets frustrated at his wants being#ignored and hits father figure and then is upset that he did that (actually relatable)#and he goes to girl next door (who he does like but she doesnt seem to Know that and shes really pushy! and weird tbh!) and she convinces#him to go out drinking#(his first time drinking he went w his coworkers and had a poor experience and he remembers that and is apprehensive)#but they go out and after she convinces him (pushing over and over) he go crazy and they do many a shots and he is a lightweight of course#and shes drunk but she can handle her alcohol#the good doctor is Drunk not incapacitated but very off balance#and she goes Ok this is what you do at the end of the date if she goes right inside you say goodnight and leave but if she lingers you kiss#her. kiss her. kiss me. well???#idr it exactly but like#it was just odd.#like. its not necessarily bad that happened#but it was just okay narratively#like it was supposed to be a cute moment where they bond#but to me it looked like someone went and got their romantic interest drunk to get a kiss the interest might not have been ready for#idk#you know when they say if the genders were opposite
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