#like its not bad or anything definitely not. all of it serves its purpose well and theres a LOT to love here like sky tower and tiny woods

[seoulfulbliss]

Park Jongseong (Part Two)

Author’s Note: The long-awaited part two! I worked so hard to bust this part out 😭, so it is a little long. I only intended for 3 parts and the third part has its own personality. I do also want to mention a potential trigger warning for some of you. This chapter does delve into themes of miscarriage and depression. Anything that is depicted could potentially be graphic for individuals who may have undergone that same duress. So, be forewarned. That being said, hope you enjoy babies 🫶🏾

(Friendly reminder, YOU DON’T HAVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORKS ANYWHERE.)

CEO! Jay x Estranged Wife! Black Reader 

Synopsis: A one-night stand with a handsome CEO leads to an unexpected derailment in your life plans. 

Content: Angst, talks of miscarriage, depictions of depression, bullying, neglect, pregnant reader, pregnancy kink, lactation kink, motherhood, smut, autistic child, ghosted friendships, misunderstandings, Jay’s mother reaaaalllllyyyy needs to get a life, eventual happy ending

Word Count: 11.5k

A life really can change in a whole week. One day you can be walking around with no knowledge of any duties or obligations outside of yourself, and the next, you could be staring down at two pink lines saying “congratulations, you’re having a baby.” 

And if that itself doesn’t taunt you enough, then the marriage license currently sitting in your hand might be a decent second option. If Jay was one thing, he was swift and efficient. Definitely a no bullshit type of guy. Maybe that efficiency is how you got pregnant. First times the charm evidently with potent sperm. 

Over the course of the last week, Jay handled everything for you. And by everything, understand that it meant absolutely everything regarding the rearrangement of your life.

You’re currently renting a spot and there’s no way you can get out of your lease? No problem, Jay can handle that for you. All it took was a phone call to the leasing office and it was terminated instantly. So there went your first excuse for why you shouldn’t move in. Then came the issue of furniture and moving your things. 

Well, you’re married to Jay. What could you possibly need this extra furniture for? Okay, you like the zebra print rug and the funky lamps with the pink base? Fine. You can bring that to his place and put it… somewhere safe (read: nowhere visible to Jay). Okay, why on earth would you need this couch? It served its purpose, just sell it. Oh, a relative gave it to you? Then give it back. Sigh. Okay fine, the movers can just put that in a storage unit. 

That’s exactly how the conversation went from start to finish. And each time, Jongseong found the perfect solution to your well-crafted problems. There went excuse number two. 

So then came excuse number three. Embarrassingly enough, you were not above throwing a tantrum in the tiny space of your apartment. There you sat, in the middle of your empty living room debating all the reasons why moving in would not be a great idea. Jay took to standing by the doorway a short distance from you. He had a slight air of annoyance about him that suggested he was itching to tape your mouth shut. With the way that you continued to ramble, his demeanor hinted that he honestly probably would. 

“But I don’t want to move. If I move, that means I lose autonomy over myself. As an independent woman, I take pride in never needing a man. Hell, my body already practically isn’t mine with the way it’s a container for your child. Now you’re asking me to share the same space? You’re already forcing me to take your last name!” 

Robotically, Jay just nods his head. Ohhhhh, so he’s not listening? Okay, time to up the ante. 

“Plus, how am I supposed to familiarize myself with a new environment when I’ve been living here for years? Come on. I’m a pregnant lady. Hormones are bound to start acting up any day. How would you be able to handle that? What if you piss me off so bad that I don’t want to see your face? Which is very possible with you, by the way. Besides, we hardly know each other. We’re not exactly the poster children for couples who can finish each other's sentences.” 

Jay just sighs. There is a response on the tip of his tongue. But you cut him off before he can utter it.

“And, I like the air here. It’s nice, fresh, and crisp. What if the air in your space isn’t suitable enough for the baby?” At this point, you’re totally just making anything up. The bigger the spectacle, the better. Maybe he’ll give in and leave this matter alone. 

“What if it’s full of pathogens and diseases, or nanoparticles that contribute to asthma? Would you take responsibil—”

Before you realize it, he is making his way across the room to you. Pulling you up by the arms, he makes direct eye contact. “Yes, I’ll take responsibility for all those things. You’re worried about the air? Let's get an air filter for all the rooms. Water is a concern? Okay, I’ll make sure we get an improved filtration system for all the faucets in the house. Hell, if you’re even worried about the thread count on the sheets, fine. Let’s buy more. Charge everything to my card.” 

Damn, so he’s a good lover in bed and husband material too? Then what the hell was up with his shitty attitude when you met him at the office? You were definitely undergoing a severe case of whiplash. First, he gives you an out of body experience during sex, then he’s brutally blunt over the technicalities of a business card, and now he’s aggressively caring in terms of the pregnancy. As much as you want to ride this ride again, the roller coaster is moving way too fast.

“You say that now, but what if you change your mind? I can be a hard woman to please—“

Smirk on his face, hands on your hips. “It didn’t seem that way the night we met.” And your mouth is snapping shut, because what the hell did he just say? 

“You…” his head tilts in amusement at your inability to find the right words. Oh, he thinks he’s cute, huh? You’ll show him cute alright. Finger pointed at his chest, this ought to give him a piece of your mind. 

“You can’t handle me, Jongseong. I come with a lot of particularities. The air filter is only the first of many requests. So you should—”

Then without any warning, Jay had you hoisted up over his shoulder, hand coming down harshly across your ass. A squeal of surprise stretches across the enclosed space of the room. “Did you just… spank me?” 

“Yes, because I don’t have time for this. We have a meeting with the registrar in…” he checks his watch, “an hour. And you’re too busy obsessing over the quality of air. Do you like wasting everyone’s time, or just mine?” 

He moves to the bathroom entrance. “Are you insane?!” You splutter as you hit at his back. “Who just slaps someone’s ass like that?”

By the way the next line of words fall from his mouth, you can tell he’s smirking. Smug little prick. “You didn’t have a problem with it back at XO hotel.” And you’re afraid Jongseong won’t make it to the courthouse with the way you contemplate strangling him. He sets you down by the bathroom sink before grabbing a pack of wipes. “Clean yourself up so we can leave. We’ll come back for the rest of your stuff another day.” 

Head hung metaphorically low, excuse number three was officially out the window.  

Fifty minutes later, you are across town at the courthouse watching the red ink of fate as the registrar stamps your freedom away. Congratulations to yourself, you suppose. So you were officially a taken woman on paper. Who cares? No biggie right? It’s just in theory, not practice. 

Except, oh. 

Jongseong bought rings, one for you and one for him. “It’s more convincing this way.” Who he was trying to convince, you had no idea. What you did know was the rock on your finger may be simple, but the price of it was anything but. Cushion cut diamond, with a dainty band. An ode to his personality once again; neat, simple, elegant. He definitely paid a pretty penny for this. 

That was something you noticed about him, his integrity. He lived up to his word. After that marriage certificate was signed off, he handed over one of his black cards. AmEx. Of course you knew he was loaded. But the casual way he said, “Use it for whatever you need.” Then positioning his hand behind the passenger seat as he reversed? Yeah, you nearly folded. His ex-fiancé had to be a strong woman to leave him. 

Living with Jay also proved to be…  interesting. His house was gorgeous. It sat on several acres of forested land. Foliage surrounded it like an accessory. If you analyzed it enough, you would think it was something out of a dark academia film. Much like his office, it too had the sleekness of mahogany paired with black and white accents. Except, you could tell where earth tones were prioritized to balance out the sharp monotony of its clinical aesthetic. Elegance topped with homely comfort. Jay really did have impeccable taste.

In his home, you had your own room. The reason being, him wanting to give you some semblance of personal freedom. You could respect him for it. There were still many things to figure out with your personal life. And you needed as much space as you could get to sort out your jumbled up career. Through the frenzy of discrimination, an unexpected pregnancy, and moving, you still hadn’t told your friends about your current situation either. You hadn’t been in the right headspace to do so. But you knew you needed the comfort and support that comes with friendship. So you planned to do so soon, before you started showing. Speaking of, apparently the thought of pregnancy was a thing Jay liked. 

Much like an onion, he had many layers about himself to peel back. But this was a layer you discovered through observation. Clearly, fatherhood was a desire for him. You could tell in the way he was concerned about your nutrition and comfortability. It meant a lot to watch him discuss your prenatal care with Dr. Paik. Especially in moments where you caught him in the early hours of the morning nursing a coffee while mulling over parenting books. Wanting to take care of people seemed to come naturally to him. 

He also happened to be laser focused on you. Primarily your body. You found him watching you occasionally in the space of his home. Whenever his schedule saw fit. If you were anywhere within his line of sight, his eyes were watching you. Like a hawk. 

You wanted to tiptoe to the kitchen for a late night snack? Surprise, Jay is still awake on the chaise lounge reading infographics in low light. And his eyes drink your legs in from the skimpy pajama shorts you wear. 

You wanted to make an early breakfast before he headed to work? Sure, do your thing. Just expect to be scared shitless by his silent form as he leans against the doorway watching you hum to yourself. 

There were even times when he came home late from long nights at the office. Those were… the more interesting days. If you were bent over the kitchen counter cleaning up the remnants of your dinner, then he was scooting past you like you were in a tight space in the otherwise openly spacious home. And best believe that when he brushed up against you, you were definitely feeling his dick print. 

And if you fall asleep on the couch late at night while doing research? He would come in, see you laying there so vulnerably and try everything in his power not to corrupt that image. But still, you felt him some of those nights. The way he would sidle up to the couch and watch you. You felt the featherlight touch of his hands on numerous occasions when he thought you were fully asleep. The way he would trail his finger lightly from your ankle up your thigh. And he would graze his fingers gently, in circles, around your inner thigh. Then he’d take a deep breath and remove them, like he was fighting to hold himself back. 

“It’s not healthy to sleep on the couch like this.” He’d whisper into your ear. And you would startle awake with a new level of hunger seeping into your skin.

Yes, these last few weeks of living with Jay were interesting. And the dangerous game he played sat as a reminder that you were in his domain. And you were every bit of the prey he believed you to be. 

Prime example being today. Jongseong sat at the kitchen table eating a yogurt bowl as he analyzed an ongoing project on his tablet. His work never really slept. 

“I read something interesting in a book recently.” He started out that morning. 

“Oh?” You hum in acknowledgment, stirring your cup of herbal tea on the counter. It had started getting harder for you to enjoy the scent of coffee. At 8 weeks, your body was really developing a dislike for certain foods and drinks with the way you got nauseous even looking at them. Your body had already begun to change to make way for motherhood. You were filling out. Your breasts becoming more sensitive and tender as they rounded out. Tea was the best gift you could provide yourself these days. You hadn’t quite started showing yet either. But there was a slight protrusion to your belly. Imperceptible to others, noticeable to you. 

“Pregnant women can start producing breast milk as early as 16 weeks.” You immediately still. That was not what you expected. And he was so casual with the way he said it too. Glancing back at him however, you can tell he is anything but. His eyes watch you intensely, like he’s just spilled a secret only meant for you two. A tiny smirk adorns his face. Goodness. He pushes his seat back as he makes his way over to your shocked frame. It’s like predator and prey the way his eyes hunt you down, keep you in place. Then he is standing behind you, practically flush against your back. Both his hands come to rest on either side of you on the counter. He was boxing you in. Then he leans down so his lips just barely touch your ear. 

“It’s called colostrum production. Then around the third trimester, the mommy’s breasts fully develop to provide milk for the baby. Sometimes,” he presses closer to you when he says this. “Mommy’s milk can leak all over her chest when she begins to lactate.” The way his husky voice travels through your ear to the pit of your stomach, if you weren’t already pregnant, you would’ve been by then. His hands slide off the counter to rest on your hips. You swear you’re no longer breathing, the way you feel his bulge against your ass. 

“I wonder what that would look like for you.” His eyes bore into your own mischievously. This is a dangerous game to be played, and Park Jongseong is winning. “Sounds like that’s your favorite fact about pregnancy.” You whisper breathlessly between you two. 

Smugness still lingers in his voice. “What can I say, I appreciate what a woman’s body can do.” And oh, you have to squeeze your legs together with the way his thumbs rub circles into your hips. Almost as if he can read your thoughts, he leans into you further. Breath fans your face, his nose brushing along your skin. “What’re you doing?” You whisper.

“Holding my wife. Is that a crime now?” He chuckles, far less innocently than he is trying to appear. Then he is leaning the rest of the way into your space. Just as his lips brush against yours, his phone rings. The ringtone startles you, breaking the spell. Now sober to your thoughts, you realize Jay is no longer toeing the line of this game. Groaning, he drops his head to your shoulder before reluctantly pulling away. You clear your throat awkwardly and sip your tea, gazing at him as he answers the phone.

“Hello?” Judging by the tenseness of his shoulders, he is less than pleased at the news he receives.

“Secretary Kim, please confirm that what you are saying is true. Is my mother currently on her way up to my office?” Deep sigh, “Okay, I’m on my way.” He hangs up. 

“Everything alright?” You inquire. He had mentioned his mother, and you had yet to meet her. Jay hardly ever brought her up since you moved in. So, curiously, you were eager to meet the woman who raised him. 

Distractedly, Jay nods his head. “Business to take care of.” Then he is off gathering his work necessities before heading out the door. In that moment, you had naively believed in those several minutes of peace that your pregnancy would go smoothly. Boy were you about to be wrong; on many fronts. 

What you didn’t expect was the brewing storm that came along with his mother. Park Eun-ju. Well… the devil certainly does wear Prada. Everything went downhill from there. 

You met her the same day Jay had cornered you in the kitchen. It was late afternoon when she charged into your shared home with her son. She came in blazing like she was the bull and you the matador. You had sat on the living room couch going over the proper procedures to file a discrimination complaint when she appeared. The fast paced click clack of heels on the marble floor being the only warning you got before she stepped her Prada clad shoes past the threshold to the living room. There stood Park Eun-ju in all her glory, decked out in a white pantsuit with red heels. Immediately, her presence filled up the space. She certainly was intimidating.

“So this is the girl.” Disdain dripped like poison in her words. Oh. Immediately, you stood at attention just as Jay rounded the corner.

“Mother—”

“Mrs. Park—”

She raised her hand to cut you both off. “I didn’t ask you to stand. Sit down.” And you damn sure did.

“Mom.” Jay tries again, stepping forward to touch her shoulder.

“Jongseong, why on earth am I just now finding out you filed for a marriage license a month ago? And why am I also just finding out that the girl is pregnant?” She hisses.

“I planned on telling you eventually.”

“Is it yours?” Her gaze left yours long enough to glance at her son in distaste. Okay, what the hell was her problem? What was she being so judgmental for? 

“Yes.”

“How can you be so sure? Have you confirmed? She’s a random woman off the streets. For all you know, she could be lying to you. How can we be certain?” That really ruffled your feathers. What did she mean ‘random woman’ and ‘off the streets?’ She was characterizing you as some broad who jumped from one hook up to the next. 

Cutting in, you make your presence known again. “Excuse me?”

“Mother, please.” Jongseong pleads.

“I’m just expressing concern. Have you thought about the circumstances?” She ignores you in favor of speaking to her son.

“I don’t appreciate the way you’re speaking regarding my character when you know nothing about me.” you state heatedly.

Jay turns to give you an exasperated look.

“And I don’t appreciate you whoring yourself out for my son's wealth.” She quips back acidicly. Your jaw is on the floor. Appalled, you turn to Jay hoping he will say something. There was no way he would let her speak that way about you, right? 

Wrong. 

Jay ushers his mother to take a seat in the chaise lounge chair before he is kneeling on the floor in front of her. Trying to placate her, he grasps her hands in his as he stares up at her.

“Mom, you always taught me to be responsible right? I’m trying to do the right thing. She’s 8 weeks along. The time frame lines up with the night we met and…” He trails off, glancing at you briefly. “You know how I've felt since Da-eun left. I hate breaking commitments, so I decided to marry her to spare us both the embarrassment of bearing children out of wedlock. Especially since the Park name now has a certain status to it.” Eun-ju hums off-handedly. “We’re in this together. That’s just something you’ll have to deal with. Besides, you’ll be a grandmother—”  She cuts him off again.

“I don’t approve.” The entire time Jay spent monologuing, you were stiff. Now, even moreso since his mother bluntly stated she would not be in support of what already was. “Jongseong, the Park name is now a household one. And out of all the women you could choose, you chose one beneath your caliber.”

You scoff in disbelief at her shady behavior. “What about the profiles of the women I gave you after Da-eun? Did you even look at them? Why not consider them instead of…” She trails off as she looks at you. Okay, you’ve had enough.

“What is your issue lady? Jay already explained the situation to you, and while the circumstances surrounding it are a little unorthodox, we’re still bringing a child into this world. You don’t have to like it, but you damn sure don’t have to bitch about it.”

“Hey.” Jay warns. His mother titters. 

“This is what I mean Jongseong, no class. She isn’t a woman I would've picked for you in a million years.” You bristle at that. The lady was itching for a fight.

“I can make my own decisions, mother. What’s done is done. It’s final. We’re married and we’re having this child. End of discussion.” A wave of silence stretches about for several moments before she speaks again. 

“Fine. If you’re so dead set on making your own decisions, then I’ll make this one for myself. I’ll be residing here throughout the entire term of her pregnancy.”

“What?” You and Jay both exclaim.

“Well it's only fair, right? If I’m the grandmother to be, then shouldn’t I be around to get to know your bride? I fear we’re not off to a very great start.” Ohhhhh the heifer was goading you. 

“Whose fault would that be.” You muttered through clenched teeth.

“Y/N.” Jay regards you with a stern look. His mother smirks over his shoulder. Oh god, this was going to be a long pregnancy. Gathering your things, you trudge back to your room to escape the mother-son duo. 

That’s how you found yourself tired and drained by week 10. The reality of it all was finally catching up to you. If living with Jay was interesting, then living with his mother was hell. In the short time she had been there, you learned just how much of a ‘boy mom’ she could be and how much of a momma’s boy he could be. That electrifying moment in the kitchen with Jay never occurred again. There wasn't an opportunity for it to. Unlike before, when you both freely danced around each other, now moments between you two were terse and tense. Heavily weighed down by the presence of his mother. She was literally everywhere. breathing down your neck. Nagging. 

When you cooked a meal, she would criticize the way you did it. If you didn’t clean up enough around the house, she would give you an earful about it. “You should learn how to be a proper housewife.” She would say, as if you didn't aspire for more. She would also make slick comments when Jay wasn’t around. Telling you to monitor what you eat lest you blow up like a house. For crying out loud, you were pregnant and she was demanding so much from you. 

When she accompanied you both to prenatal appointments, she always had to add her two cents. As if all mothers experience pregnancy the same. If you had a concern about something, she would giggle under her breath like you were stupid. While you may not have been pregnant before, you still weren’t daft to your representation in the world. You knew the mortality rate among black women in childbirth compared to their counterparts. You wanted to make sure your body was healthy for you and the baby. Jay did too. In this regard, you both moved like a unit, doing your best to support the future to come. You may not have wanted to be a mother, but you certainly wanted to give Jay this. It warmed your heart the way his eyes would light up at the prospect of fatherhood. You just wished he would stand up to his mother more. Especially when she infantilized him. 

She was constantly droning on about what motherhood meant to her. And she made sure to let you know that Jay was more her son than your husband by making you feel insecure about what little you did know about him. 

“He doesn’t like his clothes washed with this detergent. He has sensitive skin.”

“He doesn’t want his food touching. It’s a texture issue.” 

“Why aren’t you ironing his clothes for work? Do you really consider yourself a wife?” 

Blah, blah, blah. She was stressing you the fuck out. She did everything in her power to push you away, and nearly succeeded at it. One incident in particular nearly made you call it quits. Minding your business was an art form for you, but that all went out the window when this meddlesome woman kept picking at you behind her son’s back. You were sitting on the living room sofa wondering why you hadn’t received information back about the complaint you filed when she waltzed in wearing her favorite brand. Prada.

She took a seat in the chaise lounge analyzing you. Already antsy from a lack of response from the state board, you knew you were a ticking time bomb. And she was getting ready to light the fuse. “You know, I don't know what my son sees in you.” Chuckling smugly, she crosses her legs. “His humanitarian spirit seems to follow him everywhere. Maybe that's why he has such bad luck with women.” Your brows furrow as your eyes dart in the direction of the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Jay said he was taking a shower when he first walked in. That's why she felt so emboldened to brandish her dislike outwardly. 

“He always did feel the need to help strays.” The evil witch was full on smirking. No longer trying to mask her hatred.

“The only reason I am refraining from calling you out of your name is due to the little respect I have for your son. My advice to you would be to leave me alone. Before you poke a bear that will not fall back asleep.” 

She waves your words away. “I’m not worried about your empty threats. I’m worried about your character. Your motive. I don’t trust you.”

Squinting at her, you give her your undivided attention. “In the time you have been here, I have done nothing to give you the impression that I wasn't a decent human being.” 

“What you consider decent isn’t the same for me. Why won’t you just admit you’re using my son for his money?” The way you wanted to throttle her was scarily real. You’ve never had someone disrespect you so blatantly before. Not even the dick who denied you your license was this bold.

“Not once have I entertained the thought of using Jay for his money. I didn’t want this marriage and I certainly didn't want to move in. He sprung it all on me. My parental rights were going to be signed away to him the moment the baby was here.”

“Yet you spend the money on his black card freely. With that ring on your finger, you must have an expensive taste.” It’s crazy the way she makes your eye twitch.

“Because he wanted it this way. He practically twisted my arm just to agree with him.”

“You could have refused.” Eun-ju rebuts.

“I’m starting to think this conversation is more about you hating me than anything else.” You observe.

“I don’t want just anybody having access to his finances and success.”

“What are you really trying to say?” You spit out.

“Are you a gold digger?”

“Excuse me?” How many times can this woman surprise you with her rhetoric? 

“Well, I’ve seen plenty of girls like you. Only in it for the money. Trying to tie a man down by having his child. What do you ladies call it? A baby daddy?” Your jaw has practically unhinged, the way it is on the floor. She giggles. 

“It’s hilarious really. The lengths a person would go for some cash. I asked around about you, and heard you were without a job. Something about failing to obtain a license? So what, you’ve decided to come and mooch off my son?” 

Your lip trembles at the accusation. “How dare you discredit my hard work—” 

“Is it money you need? I can write you a check right now.” It is insulting how her accusations carry the weight of your failure. She digs into her purse to retrieve what she needs to write you a check. 

“How much do you need?” She dabs the tip of her pen onto her tongue before opening the checkbook. Immediately, you slap it out of her hand. The items clatter to the floor as she gasps out loud. It is just your luck that Jay comes back from showering. 

Misinterpreting the previous events, he storms over to you in anger. Grabbing your wrist, he drags you away from his mother. “What do you think you’re doing?!” He yells. You indicate to his mother who is clutching her pearls in disbelief. 

“Did you not just hear the awful things she said to me?” His grip on your wrist tightens. “I don’t give a damn about petty squabbles. That is my mother. You don’t raise your voice at her in this house and you certainly don't attack her.” Tears threaten to spill from your eyes. So that was her objective, get him to gang up on you. Okay, fine. 

“Are you going to give her the same speech?” The grip becomes impossibly tighter, you wince. 

‘This isn’t a group discussion.” His mother giggles with mirth. “Where on earth did you find this woman, Jongseong? What horrible manners.” 

“Mother.” He warns. You whimper at the hold he has on your wrist. 

“Let go. It hurts.” You whisper. He drops your hand like it burns him. 

“Don’t argue with her again.” That night, a bigger rift is wedged between you and Jay. You take to avoiding him the next few days. Although it is misplaced, it is obvious he is mad at you. So you just stay out of his way. 

In your isolation, you are finally prompted to tell your friends about your predicament. Jalissa, Maci, and Dreux, all sit in various states of shock on the other line. “Wait, back up. You’re practically 11 weeks pregnant and you're just now telling us?” Dreux.

“Bitch, is that why you’ve been avoiding us?” Jalissa.

“Was it that guy you met at the bar?” Maci.

“I’m sorry I’m just now mentioning it. Between finding out and the stress of marriage and moving, it just slipped my mind.”

“Marriage?!”

“Moving?” Maci and Dreux shout at the same time.

“Girl, what the fuck is going on?” Jalissa again. So you explain in depth meeting Jay at the club, the night you had, finding out you're pregnant, the marriage certificate, moving in, and the predicament with his mother. 

“Damn. you know those boy moms don’t play about their sons.” Dreux mumbles tiredly. It is clear she is frustrated by the overall situation and your lack of notifying them. “I just wish you had trusted us with this information when you first found out. We could’ve figured this out together.”

Jalissa rolls her eyes playfully, “But then she wouldn’t be staying with a super rich, super hot guy. Sounds like he’s gonna be financing hot girl summer when Y/N recovers.” Maci giggles along with her.

“No, Jalissa. We’re not doing that.”

“Why not?” She pouts. 

“Because I respect him and what we have. I would never use him like that.”

Dreux hums in a way that lets you know she’s preparing for a debate. She always did love to prove a point. “You respect him even through all the bullshit his mother is putting you through?”

“He’s good to me.”

“Yet he still lets her talk to you any kind of way. Sounds hypocritical to me.” Silence resonates through the phone. Maci chews her lip nervously at the tense atmosphere. Jalissa makes a motion with her hand as if to say, “clock it.”

“You know, you always did get stuck in these fantasies instead of living in reality.” You recoil in bewilderment. What the hell did she mean by that? Dreux continues.

“I need you to be serious. He is a rich, Asian man in circles you couldn’t even dream of standing in. His mother already treats you like shit, and you decide to have his baby anyway? What makes you think they would accept you? As a black woman, you have to be realistic about these things. Especially when you’re giving him a black baby. Do you think those snobby people would accept it?” She states.

You scoff. “It’s 2025. It’s not that serious.” Even as you say it, you feel doubt creeping in your gut. You know the stipulations Korean culture has surrounding their first born sons. As an only child, Jay’s circumstance regarding you is a bit unconventional traditionally. 

Jalissa cackles. “Nah girl, I've seen Crazy Rich Asians. They don’t play about their rich men. Especially their sons.”

“This is why you should’ve come to us.” Dreux again.

“Maybe I didn’t want you to lecture me.”

“Maybe you need it.”

“Where is this coming from?” 

“I just think it’s funny how you encouraged me to get an abortion in college over minor things when you’re out here living lavishly, posted up in a mansion with a rich man's baby on the way. Ah… but I guess babies are only important when you have a sugar daddy to provide for you, right?”

Maci gasps as Dreux breaches the topic that really bothers her.

“Dreux.” 

You and Dreux go way back, longer than you had been friends with Jalissa and Maci. You were friends in high school and went to college together. Your freshman year was wild. Dreux practically had to babysit you as she was the oldest. You were also a lot more impulsive back in those days. You begged her to go to a party she didn’t want to attend. That’s how she met Donovan. Messing around with him, she got pregnant that same year. Initially, she wanted to keep it. But in good faith, you had to realistically lay out her options for her. She was a struggling college student in her freshman year who had to take out loans just to enroll. She couldn’t take care of a baby. Especially with Donovan putting his hands on her. You couldn’t let her do that to herself. It wasn't over minor things. So, you slid an abortion pamphlet her way, and the rest was history. You thought Dreux had been fine with it as time went on. But evidently, she still harbored some resentment for it. 

“Uhhhh. Y’all wanna fill us in?” Jalissa smacks her gum.

“She knows what I’m talking about.” Dreux hisses.

“You know I was just protecting you.” 

“Personally, I think you just didn’t want me to have it. You didn’t want to have to compete with a baby. You always did like all the attention.” The accusation stings. Dreux did have to take care of you a lot more than you would care to admit during those times. But you wouldn’t selfishly suggest an abortion to her because of that. 

“That’s not true and you know it. That guy was hitting you, and you didn’t have the financial support to provide for the child anyway. I was doing what was best for you.”

“Load of good that did. You don’t even know what’s best for yourself.” She snarks back.

Uncomfortable, Maci tries to interject. “Uhhh, guys?”

Honestly, you’re too fed up to care what Maci has to say. You have been battling with bullshit for the past several weeks, and the moment you come to your friends for support, this is the nonsense they hit you with? You were already on a short fuse from how mother witch wound you up. Now, the fuse was even smaller. 

“Well, you know what I think Dreux? I think this all stems from a place of jealousy. You think I purposefully didn't tell you because deep down, you have this belief I don't trust you to be happy for me. Honestly, from where I’m sitting, it doesn’t seem like you are. I know you always wanted to be a mother, but don’t take your previous decisions out on me. You could’ve said no, and we would’ve figured it out together.”

As mature as Dreux is, you can tell that she knows you’re right. Which is another thing she hates. Being wrong. She stares at you angrily before spitting the words, “Fuck you” at the screen and dropping from the call. You let out a shaky breath. That came from left field.

“Now why would you say that to her?” Jalissa frowns.

“She literally came at me first.” You splutter.

“But it was clearly something she was still sensitive about.” Maci chews at her lip again.

“How did this conversation turn into lecturing me?” 

“Maybe when you started making crazy decisions.”

“Jalissa, you are the last person to critique any decision making.” You snap.

“Oop,” Jalissa holds her hand to the screen. “Don’t start with me. You already pissed one of us off and I’m very close to getting there too.” 

The attitude in the air is astounding to you. You don’t know how this conversation derailed into a train wreck. Now you had to deal with your friends being frustrated with you too?

Maci interjects successfully this time. “Maybe we should just table it for now. Then pick back up another time.” 

“Good idea. Call me when you get the stick out of your ass.” Jalissa flips you off as she hangs up. Maci smiles awkwardly, then drops from the call too. All you are left with is a black screen. 

For the first time throughout this whole debacle, you feel yourself begin to cry. So many obstacles were hitting you left and right. You truly didn’t expect to feel abandoned like this by your friends. You understand where Dreux’s disappointment and frustration stemmed from, but why couldn’t anyone be happy for you? 

Week 11 was tricky for you. Your friends weren’t answering any of your texts or calls. You tried your hardest to apologize to Dreux, but she wouldn’t even respond. And Jalissa wouldn’t accept your apology until Dreux did. Maci didn’t have a backbone to save her life. So, she went with the majority. That left you dealing with the strained atmosphere of the house alone. Jay was back speaking to you, but most of his responses were clipped. They were hardly conversational. What frustrated you was the fact that he still took care of you though, making sure you were taking your prenatal vitamins and eating proper meals. For the most part, his mother didn’t say much to you again. Feeling like she got the upper hand. She would huff and puff occasionally, but most of what she had to say was whispered out of her son’s earshot. You just ignored her.  

The hormones didn’t make it any better either. You knew pregnancy could present itself differently for most women. But you didn’t know it would be like this. It started out small. Just little aches in your lower back. They ranged from 30 minutes to an hour. On and off. Then came the uncomfortability in your abdominal area. At first, you could handle it. But as the days progressed, the slight pinch started to feel like heavy cramps. But this was temporary. When the aching would stop, you would simply go about your business. Chalking it up to stress, you did your best to take it easy. 

You had no idea what was to come. 

When that letter came in the mail, it really was imminent that a trainwreck was bound to occur.  You had received a response back regarding the complaint you filed. Request to pursue this formally was denied. Denied. You could only chuckle humorlessly at your luck. They wouldn’t accept your fucking request, citing that the issues had been on your end and not the board. If you want to apply for licensure again, then you need to comply with their rules. Which was frustrating, because you had. But in this moment, you could only feel defeat. There was no more fight left in you. With one situation piling up after the other, you finally hit your breaking point. 

And just when week 12 hits, nearing the end of that third month, stress finally catches up with you.

You hadn’t really understood the signs when it happened. All you know is that you woke up from your nap that day alone. Jay was at work and his mother was out. The pain had started out low, then intensified excruciatingly. It was the worst abdominal pain you had ever felt. Worse than period cramps. The pain practically immobilized you, the way you could hardly move. But somehow, you made your way to the bathroom. You didn’t get far before you collapsed onto the floor. You knew immediately that something was wrong. You writhed in pain for what seemed like hours, when you felt it. The gush of something warm and wet between your legs. Pulling yourself up to lean against the tub, you see it. A puddle of blood forming beneath you. 

“No.” You whisper brokenly. The trainwreck was already knocking at your door. 

You sat in pain with the knowledge that your body was failing you. That’s how Jay found you two hours later after coming home for a late lunch. Calling out to you, your whimpers lead him to the bathroom. There you sat, in tears as blood coats your lower body and hands. It looked like a murder scene. Horrified, Jay rushes out to call Dr. Paik as you sobbed quietly on the bathroom floor.  

Carrying a child was an interesting phenomenon. The body adapts to make way for motherhood, shifting parts of your body to sustain a child. Evidently, pregnancy can shift other organs too. Like a heart. Make those overwhelmed at the idea of carrying a child excited with the prospect of eventually holding them. That’s what it did to you. But your body… your body had given up somewhere. Threw in the proverbial towel that misery picked up. 

Miscarriage. They happen primarily in the early stages of pregnancy. You were still within that window. Marginally. There was no baby. 

In that moment, it felt like you were floating. Barely hanging onto this thread called life. Everything dulled to grey, like your perception of color had muted into the background of a rainy day. Attachment settled on you easily. You hadn't known this was something motherhood could provide. But there you were, laying in a care facility staring, but not seeing. Mind elsewhere. You felt empty. You were. 

You’re not sure when you began looking forward to the concept of bringing life into the world. Maybe it was because of the way Jay cared for you. Maybe it was the raw vulnerability in his face when he discussed the idea of building a family. Maybe it was the excited look on his face when he talked about information he had learned in those parenting books. Maybe it was the thought of eventually feeling your child’s first kicks. Maybe it was simply the thought that you and Jay had created a life. But you were disappointed that your body couldn’t follow through with it. Honestly, you felt that Jay was too. 

He never said much about it, didn’t push it. But in ways he used to hover before, he had stepped back. The first few days after, you hardly saw him. He had things to handle. Work never stopped. Which saddened you. The both of you just lost a baby. Shouldn’t he be here grieving with you? You sat at home, the weight of failure looming over you. You felt less than a woman. Ashamed of what your body could not do. And Jay… just worked. Leaving you to drown in that guilt alone.

With Jay absent, you were left in the house to deal with his mother by yourself. However, you avoided her like the plague. You stayed holed up in your room. Didn’t want to eat and could hardly even sleep. She still found ways to antagonize you. 

The straw that broke the camel’s back was the last thing she said to you before you snapped. “Even your body can’t work properly to give my son a child. How could you possibly hold the Park name?” After that, you aren’t sure what happened. All you know is, you blacked out. 

And when you came to, Jay was holding your thrashing body while Eun-ju screamed in horror. She was clutching her neck, it being an angry red. The pearl necklace she had been wearing laid scattered on the floor. You had tried to choke her. She deserved it. 

After that, Jay sent his mother away. He paid more attention to you then. Not necessarily physically, but your mental care. Dr. Paik recommended some mental health clinics to him. Said it might be helpful in situations like yours. Depression from losing a baby. They had both noticed you weren’t taking care of yourself too. So, Jay hired a caretaker to cook and clean after you for a few months. Someone who would make sure you took your vitamins, walked around the house, and stretched your legs. 

Her name was Ok Young-Ja. An older woman in her early sixties. She took care of you in ways that Jay couldn’t, ways he knew he couldn’t. Some days when it felt too much, she would get you out of bed and run a bath for you. Soaking in the warm water, she would entertain you, humming old trot songs occasionally. Then you would say, “Tell me your story.” And she would. 

Throughout that time, Young-Ja was a silent force keeping you steady. Truly, it felt like she was a lifeline, your support in a dark place. 

You hadn’t spoken to your friends much since the incident. They were heavily on social media living their best life. They didn’t seem interested in reconciliation the way you had been. Instead, trying to force you to come back and grovel. In your current state of mind, you didn’t need it. There was no meeting them halfway. So you left them at their destination and kept searching for your own. 

That had been hard too. But as days turned to months, you realized that you deserved more than what life had tried to take from you. 

So, you decided to get better. Not just for yourself, but because you felt like you owed it to your baby to no longer feel at fault for what couldn’t be. 

It started out slow. You would get up and help Young-Ja with little things around the house. She would fuss, telling you to take it easy. But you wanted to do this. It took your mind off things. Besides, spending time with Young-Ja had been the brightest part of your life in the few short months she cared for you. Then you started helping her with groceries. It felt good to smell fresh air, to feel the humidity on your skin. Young-Ja was happy for you too. You could tell by the way the creases near her eyes dipped in just a bit further at the stretch of her smile. She would pat you on the back like you were her baby, gushing about how good you were doing. 

Then the time came for her to depart. Six and half months after being married to Jay, three and half since you miscarried. You knew Young-Ja had done all she could do for you. She did too. Patting your back as she held you, it was too easy to cry. Jay had been there to send her off. He thanked her and paid her probably way more than they agreed upon. And she was off on her next journey. 

Hollowness ate at your heart those first few days. Jay hovered, almost as if afraid you would revert back to that catatonic state. But you grew stronger by the day. This was only a temporary sadness. Still, you laid in bed most nights wishing he held you. You felt him do so once, when he thought you were sleeping. Apparently, he only liked to let his inhibitions loose when he was sure he wouldn’t be embarrassed for it. That night, he had cried laying in the bed embracing you from behind. Silent sobs wracked his body as he cried into your shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Muffled gasps whispered into the night. You let him, pretending to be asleep. 

Everyone grieves differently. After that, it didn’t happen again. Still, you pressed on in your quest for healing. 

Keeping busy with house chores, you became obsessed with routine. Like clockwork, you would get up, cook for Jay, send him to work, clean whatever you could, and prepare dinner. It was monotonous, becoming boring over time. Especially on the nights when Jay came home late. Those were the nights he wouldn’t eat, deep in the throes of building out a new project. 

In his frustration, he would brush you off, sheltering in his office space. That door stayed closed often, as if you and he were separated by two entirely different worlds. But you were, weren’t you? And his mother still did well to remind you.

Another long night for Jay had turned into another lonely night for you. You were doing your best to take care of things and stay upbeat despite the previous months of pain. You wanted to care for Jay, longed to befriend him in ways you hadn’t truly been half a year ago. He was your husband. You wanted to know every detail about his personal life. But even if she no longer set foot in the house again, his mother found ways to remind you that you both were not the same. 

It didn’t take much to hear the heated conversation spilling beyond the door of Jay’s office. Though muffled, it was easy to pick up on his mother’s complaints. “Staying with her isn’t an obligation! There are plenty of other women out there suitable for you.” 

“Mother,” Jongseong sighs into the receiver. “You know why I married her.”

“And she lost the baby, Jongseong. Don’t you want to be happy? With a real family. Can she even provide that for you?” He is silent for some time.

“Just… think about it, alright? Look over those dating profiles I sent you.” Backing away from the door, you reclaim your spot in the kitchen. Jay looks haggard when he comes out of the office. You are cleaning up the dinner he didn’t eat. “You’re still awake?” He questions.

“Yeah.” You mumble dejectedly. Hearing that conversation, you became hyper aware of the insecurities surrounding your body. It hurt to hear his mother question the validity of your womanhood. It hurt even more so that Jay did not disagree. He hums, observing you. “Don’t stay up too late.” You were from different worlds. Maybe Dreux was right.

After that, you took to only focusing on yourself. Your conversations with Jay went nowhere unless he personally started a conversation with you. He just let you be, chalking it up to the lingering effects of depression. What he didn’t realize was that you were pulling away.

Saturday morning found you out at the local park. You took to jogging recently, finding new hobbies to preoccupy yourself. Running made you feel good, helped clear your head when it was too cluttered. That’s why you built it into your routine. You were running the same route, when fate began to align. 

It was coincidental, the way this giant dog came barreling into you. His leash had flapped in the wind as he plopped himself onto you. There you sat, on the ground, a giant pile of fur in your arms. Annnnnd he was licking your face. Giggling, you push him away. “Down boy.” You laugh. 

“Sully!”

“Omg, we’re so sorry.” Two feminine voices rang out at the same time. Two women dressed in walking gear rush forward. 

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him! He really likes people, but he’s never acted like this.” Yellow windbreaker with the turquoise hair apologizes. 

The brunette with the long hair bows at you. “We sincerely apologize. We're dog sitting for a neighbor, and this stubborn guy decided it was a great time to yank his leash away.” She helps you stand up.

Dusting yourself off, you observe them. They seem really sheepish about the turn of events. The shorter colorful one red in the face with embarrassment. The taller one bowing once again. That’s how you meet them, Hyori and Mei. A Korean and Japanese woman respectively. A gay couple. You picked up on it by the way they held hands. It was cute. The rest was history.

By the tenth month of your marriage to Jay, you found yourself well-integrated into the couple’s lives. After that incident in the park, you would see each other often. And Hyori, feeling bad about the previous events, took the initiative to invite you for coffee as an apology. Their treat. Since then, you three were practically attached at the hip. 

Jay was super busy most nights. So, you didn’t think he would notice the days you stayed out late. 

Delighted to have new friends, you spent as much time as you could with them. They pulled you further into a lighter headspace. One night in their flat, over a few drinks, you tell them your story. Tears had been shed, with both women comforting you. Out of all your failures recently, this was an accomplishment you could be proud of. You had made genuine connections in your adult age. That was no small feat. Most people stress the complexity of finding people to befriend in their adult age. Some citing horror stories. But these two? Their generosity made it easy to settle in your friendship.

Nothing could pull you from the cloud you were on. Not even Jay. Or so you thought. He had come home one night, his secretary in tow. Kim Yeonmi. You remembered the name, but had never met her. She was pretty, tall in a modelesque sort of way. Her hair was pulled back into a bun. Broad shoulders suited her slim frame. 

“Um, hi.” You mumble in surprise. She just nods her head, not opening her mouth to speak. Rude. You direct your attention to Jay. He scratches his neck awkwardly. “What’s going on?”

Yeonmi cuts Jay off before he can speak. “There’s a gala we have to attend for one of Park Enterprises' business partners. Jay invited me as his date and thought it a good idea for me to get dressed here so we can arrive on time.” She wraps her arm around his. Oh. 

“A date.” You hum. 

The intensity of Jay’s stare bores into you. He asks Yeonmi to go get ready before turning to you. The click clack of her heels sashaying across the floor fills the empty space for several moments before he speaks. Hands in his pockets, “It’s an annual event. For several years, Yeonmi has gone with me. I would’ve invited you but… I didn’t know your plans. You’ve been out a lot recently.” The last part sounds like an accusation if you focus on it too much. So instead, you hear his statement for what it is.

“Okay, Jay.” 

He furrows his brows, “Okay?”

You shrug your shoulders. “If that’s all it is, there’s no need for an explanation right? It’s not like there’s anything else going on… is there?” 

Immediately, he denies. “No,” he said that with conviction. Must be true. 

“Then we’re fine.” And you had meant it. But you became increasingly frustrated as the night went on. Furious that he had another woman in your house together. Getting ready for an event, just to be draped across his arm like eye candy. Yeah, you were pissed. Little did you know though, the night was only just beginning for you. 

This proved to be true, when hours later, Jay stumbles into the house quite tipsy. “Jay?” You called out as you heard sluggish footsteps down the hall. Making your way to the living room, you find Jay leaning against the wall tugging off his tie. His eyes find yours in the open space. 

“Wow,” He drawls. “Look who's actually home tonight.”

You scoff at the words tumbling from his mouth. 

“Are you drunk?”

“Didn’t have a hot date lined up?” He asks, completely ignoring your statement. Who was he to question you? 

“Didn’t you?” You reply back. He tilts his head back in amusement. “The only woman I want on my arm is the one standing in this room.” A smirk forms on his face. You can see the hunger in his eyes underneath the lowlights of the living room.

“That’s too bad. She didn’t get an invite.” He stalks over to you, eyes drinking in your half naked form. You were only in a long shirt and panties. You didn’t have it in you to be self-conscious when you first left your room. But the way his eyes took you apart, you were beginning to feel the effect.

“Would you have come if I begged?”

“I would’ve done a lot of things if you begged me.” By now, he is standing in front of you. The first three buttons of his dress shirt unbuttoned successfully. His hands come to rest upon your waist. The smell of him is intoxicating. The room is heavy with a sensual atmosphere. You both were teetering back on the edge of that dangerous game.

“Yeah? Say it again.” He commands with a whisper. You shudder at the attention of his gaze. He presses you into the wall behind you. “You like it when I beg? Tell me again.” His lips graze your jawline. How you got in this predicament so quickly? You hardly know. But what you do know is this, Jay’s actions are being controlled by his alcohol consumption. Clearing your mind, you push him lightly. 

“You're drunk, Jay. Let me get you some water.” What you don’t expect is for him to corner you at the sink as you get him a glass. He cages you in. Hot breath fans your ear as he says, “Will you let me touch you if I beg?”

“Jay—” You start.

“Please.” The brokenness of his whisper drowns out any other noise. Including your rational thinking. 

The tightrope you both were barely balancing on snaps. 

Throwing all caution to the wind, you set the glass aside and pull him into a searing kiss. He groans into your mouth, finally getting to have a taste after so long. His hands grip the flesh of your cheeks as he grinds against you. His lips taste of tangerine whiskey sour. Your favorite drinks respectively. 

“Jay.” You whisper against his lips. He hoists you up on the counter, standing between your legs. Pulling away, he stares dazedly at your face. “I fought so hard against this carnal need. Do you have any idea what you do to me? Those nights I found you lying on the couch, I wanted to mount you and bulldoze you on every surface. Like a bunch of rabid animals. That’s how I wanted to fuck you.” 

Whimpers spill from your lips as you try to clench your legs shut. “Uh uh,” Jay lightly slaps your thighs. “Keep these open for me. Yeah?” You nod your head dumbly. 

“Good girl.” He whispers against your lips. 

Then he’s pulling back to stare at your cunt. Your pussy is already wet with anticipation. A wet patch forms on your underwear. Jay groans when he sees it. 

“So wet already. All this for me?” 

“Yes.” You whine. 

Biting his lip, he chuckles before leaning back in to kiss you. The kiss is messy with desire. You both nip at each other’s lips, battling for dominance. Jay’s fingers trail down to your clothed pussy. He rubs circles over your clit. You swallow a moan deep in your throat. 

“You like that baby?” His fingers work desperately over that sweet spot. 

“Yeees,” you’re practically sobbing. He smirks. Then he’s pulling your panties aside and shoving his ring and middle fingers in you. Gasping, you tilt your head back as he sucks marks into your neck. The wet squelching of him finger fucking you echoes through kitchen.

“So fucking messy.” He sticks his tongue into your ear. 

“Oh, God.” You cry out. Just as the band in your abdomen is about to snap, he stops. 

You huff in frustration. “Why’d you stop?”

“Because I’m starving. Don’t you want to let me have this pussy for dessert?” That was the fairest warning he could give before he was on his knees. Pulling your panties down in one go, he devours your pussy on the kitchen floor. You hold on to the counter as he eats you out like a dying man. 

Your toes curl at the pleasure his tongue gives. His eyes brand your soul as he laps at your clit messily. He groans into your cunt when you pull his hair. It doesn’t take long from that point for your orgasm to creep upon you. With a high pitched keen in the back of your throat, you cum all over his face. 

He continues to bury his face in your pussy as he works you through it. Lapping up the rest of your juices, he pulls back. He gives you a cheeky smile, lower half of his face wet with your fluid. 

“Let me make love to you.” And he does. He takes you apart on the same couch he envisioned fucking you on multiple times. You’ve thought it before, but Jay is a great lover. A pleaser. He loves to give pleasure to his partners more than receiving it. Even still, you give him what he is owed. His hand guides your head as you slobber all over his cock. 

“Fuck.” He grunts, as you hollow your cheeks. You flick your tongue around the head as you fondle his balls. Pulling back, you let your drool drip down his length before you dive in to suck his balls. 

If Jay didn’t know any better, he’d think you to be a succubus. Because you were definitely sucking his soul, straight out of his ballsack.

Not wanting to cum too soon, he pulls you off. Then he lays you on the couch and lines himself up with your entrance. “Do you care if I wear a condom or not?”

“No. You’re my husband, right? Cum in me. I’m yours.” And Jay is groaning as he sinks into your heat. You hold hands as he rocks into you at a steady pace. 

It doesn’t take much longer for you both to reach your high. You pull him closer as he cums inside of you. Lips locked in a passionate kiss. “Thank you.” He whispers against your lips. 

That night had been euphoric. You were content to believe that everything had progressed for the better. But perhaps, the joke was on you. You and Jay seemed to find middle ground. Him actively working on talking to you and coming home at reasonable times. After that night of passionate sex, he even took to kissing you. But most things don’t last if his mother is involved. That was one thing Jay couldn’t improve. Her deplorable behavior. She set Jay up on a date. 

How you found out was accidental. Jay had discarded his phone on the counter when he walked in the house. He went to shower, stating he had a business dinner to tend to later that night. It really was a shame that he had his text previews on. Because his mother kept blowing up his phone with messages. The final one? A picture of a fair skinned young woman with an innocent gaze. Then the time and place. Followed up with, ‘don’t be late.’

Everything around you seemed to stop. There was no way Jay was about to go on this date his mother had set up. Had the sex meant nothing to him? Was he… playing you? 

Confused, you just set the phone down and waited for him to come back out. He was dressed in burgundy dress pants with a crème polo shirt. He wore an Armani watch with a brown band and gold face. Hair slicked back, he looked good. And he smelled it too. 

“Hi.” He smiled softly, kissing your cheek. He moved behind you to pick up his phone. You analyzed him as he read the messages. Facial expression unreadable, he pockets his phone, moving towards the walkway entrance. Picking up his wallet and keys, he turns back to you. There you stand in the living room doorway. 

“I’ll be back later tonight, baby.” Baby. A slip of the tongue that he had gotten used to calling you. 

“Where did you say you were going again?” 

“Bella Noche Bistro. I have a reservation for 9 PM. I’m already running behind. I need to be out the door.” He rushes over to give you one more kiss, and then he is gone.

Bella Noche Bistro at 9 PM. With Hwang Soyeon. The exact same text message his mother sent him. The son of a bitch was playing you.

Trying to calm your mind, you spent the next hour and a half cleaning. Part of you wishes you never cleaned Jay’s office. However, the other part of you that strongly identifies as his wife, is glad. Going through his drawers, straightening up things, you discover something you probably shouldn’t have. There, sitting on top of another stack of papers is a document. Which reads ‘Divorce Agreement’ in bold letters. 

Jongseong planned on… divorcing you? Sitting down, you take a moment to gather your thoughts. So, that’s why he was out at these late night dinners. He was shopping for a new wife. At least that’s what you told yourself. 

Every part of you is pissed regarding this. How could he do this to you? After everything you’ve been through? Your entire life was upended for him. You suffered through a traumatic miscarriage. You were depressed, alone. But you stuck it out and stayed with him. Yet this is how he repays you? 

Betrayal shot like an arrow deep into your heart. The red string of fate that tied you to Jongseong felt so much like a noose in this given moment. Everything is so impossible with this family. Between his mother and him, you aren’t sure who deserves your wrath more at this moment. But not to worry. You would bide your time. This marks the official checkpoint of you checking out. You were done, tired of being life’s punching bag. So you put the paper back, close the drawer, turn off the light, and walk back out of that fucking place. Showering, you figure out exactly what to do. 

You wouldn’t act now though. You would be patient.

And you would mention nothing of it to Jay when he comes home with syrupy lips of whiskey. And you would say nothing as he kisses you, making love to you again and again. All while shopping around for dates. And you would just smile, as he left for another day of work. Then you would pick up the phone and call Hyori. Because Hyori and Mei had their own plan separate from you, one that required an upheaval of their lives. 

A relative of Hyori’s had passed away. And being their only next of kin, left her a nice, spacious home off on the coast. As her inheritance, she wanted to turn it into a bed and breakfast. They had floated the idea to you a month ago, stating that they would move there permanently. It hand stung then, to hear that your two new friends planned on leaving. You felt selfish in wanting them to stay. But now, there was no need. Because you were about to give the Park family exactly what they wanted. 

If a divorce was what they wanted, then a divorce was what they would get. 

A few days later, when Jay is out, you would go back to his office to look through his things. The document in question, unmoved from where you left it. It seemed as though he was really considering this. Well, you’d just have to beat him to the punch then wouldn’t you? Flipping through the pages, you would find the dotted line your signature needed to be on. In just a few short swoops, it would be signed. Once again, sealing your fate. 

And a week from now, when Jay comes home. You will be long gone. 

© seoulfulbliss— all rights reserved to this archive. please don’t repost without my permission. modifications of any kind is not tolerated, this is my creative content.

[daretoassume]

all beliefs are neutral until you assign a meaning to it

the belief "i am lucky" is just as true as the belief "i am unlucky." it is only when you consciously or unconsciously attach an emotion or personal significance to these beliefs that they start to affect you. regardless of which belief you choose, once an emotion is tied to it, it will influence your thoughts and actions accordingly.

the physical reality is the effect of what is happening on the inside, not the other way around. reality reflects your beliefs about yourself and others. if that is the case, then you are completely in control of your reality. but what is stopping you from believing that is your constant reaction to physical reality. you think you are a victim of your physical reality when you have complete control over it unless, of course, you prefer to be a victim.

flip the switch.

a person only needs to discipline his mind to make everything work out for him. seeing experiences from a neutral perspective and then assigning the "preferred emotion or state" means he is disciplined and in tune with himself and his emotions.

why does negative seem more realistic than positive?

because you already have a meaning attached to it, consciously or unconsciously, you have already CHOSEN to believe the negative instead of the positive. why? because you feel it is more NORMAL than the positive, that the positive is just a big scam and you do not feel like you deserve it. because society has made it seem real, well, everybody is experiencing the negative more than the positive, why shouldn't you?

hence, the negative has more power than the positive, but only because you have CHOSEN the negative belief instead of the positive. whatever that is, it will serve its purpose to you.

if you are so CONFIDENT with the negative, why can't you do the same with the positive?

how can i see circumstances in a positive way?

"but there are negative things that happen in life"

are there really? or the masses just agreed that it is something to be negative about? yes, sure, circumstances do exist, or something happened that you do not prefer, but there is a purpose of why they exist. it could be to teach you something like patience, or it exists for reasons beyond your understanding. maybe the reason why that juice spilled on your shirt, making you late, actually saved you from an accident. can you see circumstances in a way that they serve a purpose?

"it is only your definition that determines how you experience anything in physical reality." ♰ bashar

it is a matter of how you see your experiences in life. watch how you define your circumstances because it might not be serving you at all. stop defining circumstances as "well, something bad just happened," which means it should throw you off, making you sad, bitter, resentful, or helpless. you have to learn how to control your emotions and how you define those "sudden circumstances" that you thought "threw you off."

every time something "suddenly" happens that you do not prefer, you must make a CONSCIOUS DECISION to view it from a neutral perspective and understand that it serves a purpose, even if you do not know the reason it happened in the first place. see it that way over and over again as this will practice you over time to discipline your own emotions.

[chefkids]

It’s genuinely kind of hilarious how the season really felt like it was going well.... until Claire came back. And now that I’m looking back on it, those first few episodes really felt like the show was saying “Hey look, we actually do care about our other characters” after how badly the poc characters were sidelined last season. But after Sydney’s episode it’s like all that momentum just stopped. The storylines introduced in episodes 1-3 for the other characters got pushed aside again. Instead, the majority of the focus on storylines was give back to the usual suspects, Carmy, Richie, claire, Sugar. Once again, the white characters are the ones getting these big emotional and interpersonal arcs, while the characters of color only get as far as what they contribute in the kitchen. And like… I get it, the Berzattos are messy and the show wants to unpack their trauma. But how many times could they possibly continue to circle the drain of Carmy’s inability to communicate? And their boring extended family (they definitely served a purpose in 7 fishes but the wedding episode was such a drag)

Sorry for the rant, but yeah I agree with all your takes. And its so exhausting to see a great show wasted in such an avoidable way. Do you still have any hope for what could happen in a hypothetical season 5? Or how this could all tie in thematically to make some sort of sense?

Like the rushed through service in episode 1,2, 3 and they were solid and funny but the big things of the season were still very much un addressed. The whole Claire Carmy thing in ep 3 would have been fine on it's own if they didn't go do what they did the rest of the season.

Ep 4 was good. In my notes for Episode 5 I literally wrote how slow things were going right now. It was crazy that it took Carmy another half of a season to even meet the baby and that he didn't just go to Nat's house.

Episode 6 would have been fine but the Claire Sydney hospital scene pissed me off and put me off so bad. Like it felt so gross and forced just to try to make Claire better and I already knew it was downhill from there.

Episode 7 was so underwhelming. Just a million conversations with random assortments of people that never felt like it really amounted to anything. Like they were just looking for excuses to give people screen time and lines.

Episode 8 started off interesting with the Sydney dream sequence. But then they continued the Claire Carmy shit in the end.

And then 9 and 10 just pissed me off lmao

Like are they really so allergic to joy and happiness that they have to put so many obstacles and drag everything to death in order to recycle the same drama of carmy leaving Syd alone to fuck off with Claire again. Are they not bored?

[saltasaurus-loricatus]

Have you ever found yourself wondering,'What if the characters from hit anime and manga Bungou Stray Dogs were not dogs, but dinosaurs?' If so, this is the video for you!

I have spent a truly disgusting amount of time thinking about this, and I hope you like my theories (:

If you're anything like me and would much rather read something than listen to some guy with an annoying voice ramble, here's the text version:

But before we get started, a couple disclaimers. I have not read the manga or watched the anime in a while, so mistakes are entirely possible. I am not an official paleontologist yet, just an amateur student dinosaur enthusiast. Also, there may be spoilers, so I wouldn’t watch this if you plan to consume the anime or manga in the future. And finally, I unfortunately could not think of corresponding dinosaurs for the entire cast, so I left a couple out. Maybe I’ll make a part 2 sometime in the future. Without further ado, let’s get into it.

Atsushi would definitely be a T. rex, because they are both very powerful, popular, and everyone wants one. Some folks may argue that they’re a bit overrated, but I still maintain that they are top tier, 10 out of 10 organisms. And obviously, both Atsushi and the T. rex are the protagonists of their respective pieces of media. The T. rex was the protagonist and best character of the entire Jurassic Park franchise, and my mind can not be changed.

Dazai would be an Iguanodon, because they are both perceived as peaceful to the uninitiated, so it’s often a surprise that they are quite large and can easily fuck you up good if you mess with them. See those nasty thumb spikes on the Iguanodon? Those are for stabbing. Actually, the Iguanodon’s entire hand is an all purpose tool! They had a thumb spike for defense, three weight-bearing toes for walking and an opposable pinky for grabbing and holding things. Dazai is similarly all purpose, as he can simultaneously be an ultra-manipulative supervillain type, and a pathetic wet cat of a man. Whichever the situation calls for. Also, Dazai is one of the first characters introduced in BSD, and Iguanodon was one of the first dinosaurs discovered and described. They’ve both come quite a long way from their old selves as well.

Not too sure of this one, but I’d say Kunikida matches the vibes of a Struthiomimus more than anything else. Probably because they both remind me of modern day birds, heck Struthiomimus was named after its resemblance to an ostrich, tell me you don’t see the similarities. In addition, the Struthiomimus had bones that were quite stiff, in order to keep itself balanced while running, much like Kunikida. And the species name, altus, is Latin for “lofty” or “noble” which brings to mind Kunikida’s devotion to his ideals for life. And finally, I’m not sure how common this phenomenon is, but I also often see depictions of ornithomimids in fantasy settings, including Struthiomimus, as having neat handwriting, so is it too much of a stretch to give one a trademark notebook?

Yosano’s a Carcharodontosaurus, because they were both hurt by a war. For Yosano, I really hope I don’t have to explain that being groomed into torturing soldiers to the point of literal insanity for everyone involved is bad for a developing and impressionable young child, but carcharodontosaurus is a bit more complicated. While they didn’t actually serve in any WWII efforts, a partial skeleton that was initially thought to be a carcharodontosaurus, and was also the first postcranial material ascribed to it, was destroyed in an Allied bombing. Until 1995, the only material anyone had from the carcharodontosaurus was the surviving internal cast of the partial skeleton, which threw a huge wrench into the studying of the genus. That’s probably part of the reason why no one figured out the sample was from a completely different dinosaur until 2025. Both of them also share cool little head ornaments, and are pretty damn strong and aggressive, which makes them absolutely terrifying. Carcharodontosaurus shows some evidence of face biting, which is also very common in related dinosaurs, and were one of the largest theropods ever, with one study putting the lifting strength of an adult at nearly 1,000 pounds. And Yosano has declared that everything is her strength, and has no weaknesses whatsoever, but she is also extremely fond of scaring the shit out of all her patients. But that’s nothing compared how she treats her enemies, coming at them with her massive fucking meat cleaver, or on at least one occasion, a chainsaw. Scary.

This one was pretty hard, but I think Ranpo would be a Troodon. Troodons are a small, more birdlike species, that were likely pretty intelligent at least by dinosaur standards, just like Ranpo. Not much is known about Troodons, we’re just basing this off some established evolutionary trends. They also practiced communal nesting, where several different Troodons lay their eggs in the same nest. This is quite similar to how Ranpo grew up without a biological family, but with Yosano and the other young detectives. Also, Troodon was discovered quite early, and was one of the first dinosaurs described, though it was originally thought to be a lizard, then a megalosaurus, then a pachycephalosaurus. The genus is still under scrutiny today and may be reclassified again. Ranpo too was the co-founder and first member of the armed detective agency, but spent his earlier years bouncing around between many different schools and jobs, never staying long. The similarities are eerie.

Kenji would definitely be an ankylosaurus because they are both basically living tanks. All that bony armor on the ankylosaurus made them practically invulnerable, and generally a huge pain for anything to attack. Which is the same for Kenji, part of his power is superhuman durability, he gets fucking impaled almost as often as Atsushi and still can beat the shit out of practically anyone. He’s literally the incredible hulk. The only difference I can see is that Kenji hits people with wholeass traffic signs rather than a bone-shattering tail club. In addition, there’s some speculation that ankylosaurus was adapted for earth-moving, maybe not burrowing, but perhaps digging for roots and tubers to eat. Kenji also engages in earth-moving behaviors, like that time he literally moved a mountain to protect his village. Also, with all that armor, ankylosaurus did not have a lot of space in its skull for brains, which is why they are often known as “the cows of the Cretaceous”. And Kenji raises cows, loves cows, so I see no issue.

Tanizaki here, I’m thinking he would be an Amargasaurus. Amargasaurus was a pretty small species of sauropod, that’s well known for the two rows of spikes down the back of their neck. No one’s quite sure what they were for, maybe they could stab in defense, rattle them to scare off predators, or there’s now growing speculation that they were covered in skin, making a cool sail. Whatever the case, they were likely used for display purposes. Tanizaki’s ability, Light Snow, allows him to create illusions as a display, usually for battle, kind of like the Amargasaurus might’ve. They are both also on the smaller side, at least compared to the people around them. The main difference between these two is that while the Amargasaurus might’ve been able to stab their enemies, Tanizaki absolutely would. Remember when he very nearly succeeded in stabbing the fucking mafia boss to death? In addition, the Amargasaurus’ spines or sail would likely have made their necks pretty inflexible, keeping their heads low. Similarly, Tanizaki seems to have trouble holding his head high, metaphorically, referring to his ability as ill-suited for battle, and feels mediocre about himself at best. Regardless, they are both absolutely spectacular animals.

I feel like Fukuzawa would be a Diplodocus, because they’re both naturally solitary creatures. Don’t come at me, it took a hot second before the kids grew on Fukuzawa. Also, neither of them have very many natural predators. They’re too awesome. Honestly, most of my reasoning for this one is about vibes and that awe-inspiring aura of power. I’m sure I’ll have better ideas later.

Akutagawa would be a Yutyrannus. Yutyrannus is a tyrannosauroid that’s bit older and smaller than the T. rex, and far less loved, unfortunately. Just like Akutagawa here! But I love them anyway. Other similarities between them are that they both have killer coats, just one is made of beautiful feathers and the other actually kills people with his coat.

Higuchi would be a pachycephalosaurus because just like the pachycephalosaurus, she charges into battle head-on, guns blazing, and has quite the tough exterior, mowing down enemies with no hesitation. Similarly, pachycephalosaurus has a wholeass nine inches of bone on the top of it’s skull, making it ideal for charging at other dinosaurs, maybe even other pachycephalosaurus’, and a broad bulky body that made it able to take hits much easier. And unfortunately, we know practically nothing about either of their daily lives. Pachycephalosaurus aren’t often fossilized, because they lived in the extremely erosive highlands, with the exception of their extremely durable nine inch skull domes. Higuchi too could live in highlands for all we know, because we haven’t really seen her at all outside of her mafia work. The only thing we know about her is that she lives with her younger sister. We also can speculate, from Kafka Asagiri’s twitter, that Higuchi has some kind of special ability, the name and nature of which is unknown. Like Higuchi, we are also only left to speculate on what Pachycephalosaurus used their head domes for, because further scrutiny has revealed that they likely didn’t ram their heads together like previously thought. It’s more likely they butted each other in the sides.

I’d say Kyouka would be a velociraptor because they’re both pretty small, the velociraptor was only 40 pounds, they both lived in darkness, we do know that Velociraptor was nocturnal due to the size of some of their preserved eye bones while Kyouka was a notorious mafia assassin for years under the assumption that she was a flower that could only bloom in darkness. They’re also both good with blades, Kyouka with her swords and knives, and Velociraptor with its scary sickle claw. In addition, they are both commonly thought of as monsters, Kyouka from being dubbed “the 35 count murderess” from her mafia days, and Velociraptor from an unflattering depiction throughout the Jurassic Park franchise. But they’re really not, Velociraptors were just sweet little dog-sized chickens with teeth and long tails, and Kyouka’s a sad 14 year old girl who is trying her very best to be good. And finally, Kyouka seems to like rabbits a lot, carrying her rabbit toy around all the time, and Velociraptor would love rabbits too if they lived in the Late Cretaceous, they would be the perfect size for them to hunt.

Chuuya would be a Triceratops because they are both extremely popular with the fans. And I feel very confident, after doing many surveys, that practically everyone knows what a Triceratops is, probably due mostly to Jurassic Park, which gives them lots and lots of well-deserved fans. And maybe I just don’t get out enough, but I have not met a single BSD fan who does not love Chuuya. I’m not saying I don’t like him or anything, I love Chuuya as much as the next gay, but it’s a bit surprising, considering that he literally has something like 20 minutes of screentime in the whole 5 seasons so far. They also both have plenty of fancy ornamentation, and despite not being the tallest or the smartest around, both Chuuya and Triceratops are 100% prepared to fight and kill the some of the most dangerous creatures to ever live in order to protect their families, whether it be dragons, giant cthulhu monsters, or T. rexes.

I’m thinking Fitzgerald would be a stegosaurus, because first of all, they are very recognizable. Anyone with even a rudimentary understanding of dinosaurs can recognize a stegosaurus, they’re in practically every book, film and museum related to dinosaurs! Similarly, the real Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald is a household name, even my stupid ass was able to recognize the Great Gatsby guy when he showed up in the anime. In addition, both Fitzgerald and the Stegosaurus can be bought, and require vast quantities of money. Fitzgerald is very rich, likes having money, typically only helps people who will benefit him and who he is convinced will win, which is why he stopped fighting the detectives and is now helping them. Similarly, the Stegosaurus fossil known as “Apex” was the one of the most expensive fossils ever sold, at a whopping 44.6 million dollars in 2024. He now belongs to a rich private owner. In addition, they could both be described as “great” because Fitzgerald’s ability is literally called “the Great Fitzgerald”, and the stegosaurus is only one of the hands-down best animals ever. And finally, they both evidently cared for their families, Stegosaurus because there’s fossil trackways showing family units of juvenile and adult stegosauruses traveling together, and Fitzgerald because he literally tried to rewrite reality to bring back his daughter and heal his wife.

Mori would probably be an oviraptor, because they both are slender in build and have gotten bad reputations over the stealing children or eggs allegations. The main difference between them is that while oviraptor has had its name cleared for the most part, though there is still a bit of speculation that they may eat an egg if necessary, Mori is guilty as charged. He very much has groomed multiple children into doing dirty work for him. It’s literally a documented fact. In addition, Mori has a habit of purposefully hiding his true personality in favor of acting like a normal middle aged man, especially in public. This is not too dissimilar from the oviraptor’s original skull had been crushed and badly distorted during the rigorous fossilization process.

Lucy would definitely be an Appalachiosaurus, because Lucy’s last name is literally “Montgomery”, while Appalachiosaurus is named after Montgomery County, Alabama, close to where it was discovered. The only known specimen of the Appalachiosaurus is a juvenile, but most of its skeleton was remarkably complete, including the new bone growth on its tail that was indicative of healing from an injury. Lucy too is healing from her childhood injuries, both figuratively and literally with the poker scar on her arm. Also, if you remember from the beginning, Atsushi is a T. rex, a close relative of the Appalachiosaurus and close friend of Lucy because he was the first person to ever be nice to her as far as I know. Due to the difficult life she had, Lucy has a pretty closed off and hidden personality that she covers up by being mean to people. Similarly, Appalachiosaurus was a highly derived animal, more so than almost all others in the tyrannosaur family. It had 6 whole crests on its head, though it’s a bit hard to see here. And finally, they’re both from the East Coast of North America. We haven’t got confirmation on Lucy’s home, but the real Lucy Maud Montgomery was from Prince Edward Island, Canada, so a common theory is that Lucy is also from around there. As the name implies, Appalachiosaurus is from the Appalachian region, and is in fact the most complete dinosaur from the North American East Coast! Which is not a high bar or anything, there are barely any dinosaur fossils around there due to geological activities, but still!

I’d say Kouyou would be a Spinosaurus because for starters, they are both very tall and narrow shaped, as opposed to crocodilians that are more short, round, and barrel shaped. And maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places, but I tend to see a lot of fanart associating Kouyou with cranes, which are very very cool. If you look at Spinosaurus here, it most likely lived very similarly to a giant prehistoric crane, wading into the water and waiting for fish to get close before snatching them out and eating them! A proposed function of the Spinosaurus sail is creating shadows in the water to make fish think “hey, this is a good place to shelter”, much like some modern wading birds like herons do with their wings. Their weaponization of the darkness is similar to how Kouyou thinks of Kyouka, and by extension, herself, as flowers that can only bloom in darkness, which is why she’s so cynical and shuns things like hope and love. She also had a lot of trouble accepting the fact that Kyouka, or anyone else could change and thrive in the light in despite of the past that she seems to be stuck in. Similarly, Spinosaurus was not done in by the asteroid at the end Cretaceous, it was likely brought down earlier, when climate change destroyed their river habitats and they were unable to adapt enough to survive.

Fyodor would definitely be a Dilophosaurus, mainly because there’s a wealth of information perpetuated about both of them, and almost all of it is faulty or just straight up wrong. While Fyodor leaks fake information about himself and his ability on purpose to kill people better, the Dilophosaurus was unfortunately put into Jurassic Park with many embellishments, including a frill and a tiny size, and now many people genuinely believe that, half the paleoart I see of them features a frill and venom spitting, even though there is no evidence of either. Although it does look super cool and I love Jurassic Park nostalgia as much as anyone. These common misconceptions would make both of them extremely difficult for most people to fight, although that’s not a likely scenario for you or I to be in. Also, Fyodor’s cello playing absolutely slaps, while the sound reconstructions of Dilophosaurus sound extremely cool, much like a bird humming, at least in most of the studies I’ve followed. In addition, as far as we know, neither of them can spit venom, at least in the literal sense. They are also both shown as monsters in their respective pieces of media, although whether or not Fyodor is a monster is open to interpretation I guess. But the Dilophosaurus was just a silly little girl, I mean, look at her! It is often easy to forget that dinosaurs were just animals, not just spiteful hungry monsters. However, they were both the apex predators, or close to it, of their environments. Fyodor is basically the top of the food chain as far as we’ve seen in BSD, but that may change, as they are allergic to not adding new super predators every season to up the stakes.

Nikolai would obviously be an Archeopteryx because both of them are often compared to modern day birds. Archeopteryx because its extremely well developed flight feathers and broad wings meant that it was most likely capable of flying or gliding, and Nikolai because his main motivation is wanting to be free as a bird, and this bird you cannot chaaaange. They also both have very elaborate coats that are slightly asymmetrical, much like most modern birds. In addition, Nikolai seems to be almost conflicted on his actions, claiming that he does indeed feel guilty about torturing and killing tons of people. However, this guilt does not stand in the way of his sadism, and may even encourage his behaviors further because he wants to be free of everything holding him back. Similarly, the Archeopteryx was a very complex animal compared to other dinosaurs, and had an unusually large brain. This is more evidence towards the fact that they could fly, because flying takes a lot of brainpower. Archeopteryx also had a long hooked killing claw on its feet, similar to the velociraptor, likely for grabbing prey. Nikolai engages in a similar behavior, particularly when he captured Atsushi’s leg and stabbed it many times before leaving it in the floor.

Tetcho is definitely a Therizinosaurus, in part because they both are known for having extremely odd diets. Tetcho habitually combines unorthodox foods together and eats his hard boiled eggs with the shells on (he’s so me fr), and the Therizinosaurs are the only known family of theropods to have converted back to herbivory, likely just eating leaves and foliage. They are also both equipped with sick ass blades, Tetcho with his sabre and Therizinosaurus with giant Freddy Krueger claws. But unlike Tetcho, Therizinosaurus likely just used its blades for grabbing leaves rather than attacking children. In addition, while they are both pretty large and quite scary-looking, they seem to be the least dangerous and violent member of their respective peers. I know that is not saying very much at all, but while he may be a cop who tried to murder at least one innocent child, considering that half of the other Hunting Dogs seem to really take pleasure out in tormenting anyone they can, I personally would rather take my chances with Tetcho than any of the others. And considering Therizinosaurus was a large, slow, plant eater, I would much rather run into one of those than any other big theropod, like a Tyrannosaurus or Tarbosaurus.

Teruko’s a coelophysis because they are both tiny, nasty little buggers who are actually pretty old. Coelophysis was one of the earliest genuses of dinosaur, living over 200 million years ago in the Triassic, and while Teruko’s age is not confirmed, considering that she was a tween during the Great War, which was a minimum of 15 years ago, it can be inferred that she is probably in her late twenties to early thirties. That is ancient for a BSD character, whose life expectancies are just over 24 years old, if my math is correct. They are also both known for being skilled hunters who are even feared by their allies. Teruko can be a little intense in the best of times, and behaves aggressively towards almost everyone, including her peers. Coelophysis’ were also not known for their flocking behavior and lived alone, although they were likely not cannibals as has been previously thought.

Anyway, thanks so much for watching, this took forever to make. If you think a part 2 is necessary, or if I’m wrong about something, feel free to fight about it in the comments. And thanks slidesgo, for letting me download this presentation template. Maybe some other time, I’ll show off the terrible doodles I made of the dinosaurs dressed as their respective characters.

[exn0bis]

So. Completed Veilguard. I have lots of thoughts.

Regardless, I don't think I'd be saying anything that hasn't already been said.

For my part, I went in with the expectation it was going to be bad. I was pleasantly surprised by some things, certainly by the technical aspects, but it fell about where I expected in most other ways.

But first, the good.

It was extremely refreshing to see a AAA game actually release so well optimized for once. I'm running an older system at this point, with a GTX 1080 TI. Even so, out of the box, I was able to run things on the Medium preset perfectly. After some troubleshooting the latest Nvidia driver, and updating the games native upscaling to FSR 3.x, I was running things on a mix of High & Ultra with minimal to no frame drops. This was way beyond what I expected, and made the play experience more enjoyable. While I do think that, like many games in the past few years, there is some over reliance on upscaling to make it look its best, Veilguard still maintains excellent visual fidelity without it.

On that note, the game is objectively gorgeous, regardless of how one feels about the art style (which I did personally like, too); I'm also extremely impressed how they adapted a simulated strand hair system into something playable in real-time without it being overly taxing. Would love to know the technical breakdown for that specifically, but either way, I would not be surprised if we start to see more games released with something similar going forwards.

Veilguard very much proved you can make something look gorgeous and still have it be playable on more than just the latest and greatest systems, and I hope it will encourage more studios to focus on how they optimize and implement their work.

I also found the general gameplay mechanics to be, overall, enjoyable. I was hesitant going in, as I'm 1) bad at games, and 2) from a CRPG background, so the real-time style of combat is not generally something I'm good at. I was also concerned about the stripping down of party mechanics, etc, that was a big part of the previous games. And while I do wish the party tactics had been a little more varied, I ultimately found combat fun and responsive, and that they struck a reasonable balance between simplicity with party, and overly tactical. It did have way too many buttons & combos for me, but that is definitely a me being bad at games thing and not a fault in the game.

I also was extremely impressed with how smoothly the game transitioned from gameplay to cutscenes, and I really liked the more open maps/elimination of excess loading screens.

Unfortunately, that is about all the praise I have for the game.

I'm not really going to talk too much about the complete disregard for the world state built by previous titles, because I think all that needs to be said about that has been. I agree that, from a development standpoint, they needed to find a way to simplify things. However, going so totally scorched earth that character creation literally states "you don't need to customize your previous choices if you don't want to because it doesn't really affect anything" only serves to insult and infuriate the very dedicated player base.

It's very clear that the goal of Veilguard is to wipe the slate clean for the purposes of rebranding and bringing in new players for future installments/capital. Considering the mass layoffs at Bioware, and EA's generally established business practices, this sort of tactic isn't really surprising, no, and was truthfully only a matter of time. But that doesn't stop it from feeling like a slap in the face.

That being established, the total disregard for existing lore, world state, impact of previous titles, glaring plot holes within Veilguard itself, etc, is unfortunately to be expected. No point in picking it apart individually, as it's all just a symptom of the goal of a clean slate reboot.

Which isn't to say I wasn't cursing at my screen by the end of it, but I digress.

I had hoped I could at least enjoy the game as something new, turn off the part of my brain that associated it with Dragon Age and just play it as a stand alone thing. This even worked for the first chapter or so, as I was really enjoying the exploration and gameplay. And then I started recruiting more people. And the main plot started to really get going. And turning my brain off suddenly stopped helping.

The writing is awful, full stop. It's all incredibly surface level and sanitized, and it treats the player with such ineptitude I started to feel like the game had actual disdain for me for trying to play and enjoy it. If I had a dollar for every time an NPC explicitly repeated a plot point or goal immediately after a cutscene that had already painfully spelled it out for me ended, I would have recouped the price of the game three times over. I get that reading comprehension is at an all time low, but holy shit. I paid for a sweeping fantasy narrative, not a degradation simulator that treats me like a moron.

If we manage to put that aside, we're left with a narrative that spends every spare second trying to convince you of how high the stakes are and how important your relationships will be to get through it... and then never actually manages to deliver on any of it. The game repeatedly shies away from showing you anything actually bad, or building anything actually meaningful.

Yes, we see the Blight being gross and a few choice deaths, but that's it. The mass devastation we're told is constantly happening all over Thedas? The staggering amounts of death taking place? The oh-so-vile practices and punishments of our main antagonists? Anything and everything that has to do with the extremely prevalent theme of slavery? That all happens off screen, if it happens at all. Somewhere nice and clean and safe for it to exist, sanitized of any tension or emotional impact. I cannot decide if the flagrant pacing issues in the narrative are a product of the missing tension, or their own problem.

And those important relationships we're told about follow the same pattern. Even if we ignore how everyone speaks to each other like they're reading the script of an HR Workplace Togetherness video, their personal stories are devoid of the stakes we are assured they have. I wanted so desperately to care about the things these character's cared about, but I left still unconvinced the character's themselves even gave a shit.

And with a shallow plot comes a shallow character; I felt no attachment to any of them, despite telling myself they'd grow on me as I progressed. Of course, I also didn't dislike any of them, either; I just didn't care, and I find that infinitely more damming.

I think what I find most frustrating is that the potential in the characters is there, at least. They're each interesting concepts with interesting themes, and every so often I'd get a cutscene that actually got me to feel something, to react, and I'd get excited thinking 'oh, this must be when it gets good.' But no, as soon as you're out of the cutscene, it's situation normal again. No more feelings, no more tension. That all happened off screen, again. Any emotional turmoil the character in question was in moments before is now gone in favor of Group Togetherness.

Rook is no exception to any of this, either; exactly as tepid as the rest, but coated with an even less polished illusion of substance. This is not helped by the fact that the game makes an active effort to remind you that Solas is the actual main character of this story. Rook, you as the player, are just sort of... there.

The headcanons I've seen from fans do more justice to this entire cast than the game ever does.

In summary, it's sad, I think. It's ultimately what I expected, but it's sad. Many of us have a very deep attachment to Dragon Age, the story and the community that built up around it. I literally met my wife through the Dragon Age fandom. I learned to explore some deeply personal things about myself through how I related to the story and characters because of how much depth and nuance there was to examine. To see all that reduced to what amounts to a very prettily polished turd is just... yeah. Sad.

I'm really happy that there are people who have enjoyed the game. Genuinely. I hope they'll continue to do so. Myself, I'll probably still go on a screenshot binge and enjoy how pretty it looks, too. But Veilguard is very much the end of Dragon Age, for me. And I'm sad about it.

[wooimbouttamakeanameformyself]

Okay listen hoes.

I’ve been surfing these anti Danneel, anti Jenneel, anti this and anti that tags for like… over a year. I’ve always been watching from the sidelines with my lil bag of popcorn, given an anon ask every now and again to other blogs, but never bothered to make a post about it. Because I didn’t think it was relevant, correction, I didn’t think Elta was relevant enough to make a venting post about — which is why I’m baffled as to why she even has stans — but also I just figured in the long run, none of our speculations, opinions or posts about this lady mean anything to anyone.

Actually, I may be incorrect there, as the AA’s may butcher me, or worse… Danneel may get Cliff to make another post… sheesh!

But anyway, seeing this latest Wales con, I got a real bad case of FOMO and decided I wanna bitch on tumblr as well (no hate to the bitches, I love scrolling through everyone bitching about the ‘perfect’ couple)

Here’s my take on everything, even tho no one asked:

Yes, it is painfully, horribly, excruciatingly obvious that those two don’t even like each other let alone love each other.

But I’ve seen some people and blogs talk about Danneel physically abuse Jensen, which I just don’t personally believe — each to their own opinion, though — but I just personally haven’t seen any evidence or receipts of that being true. Emotional abuse, yes, verbal abuse, definitely. But physical is something I ain’t gonna say I think is happening.

Danneel’s a bitch, as we all know, as the stans like to pretend isn’t true. But I really don’t think Jensen’s a saint or a victim — and I say he isn’t a victim only because in the end, looking over the financial consequences and the custody of the kids thing that would come with a divorce, she has little hold over him. He has the fame, the money, and what do you wanna bet that all of the Elta followers would do a 180 on their ‘Kween’ if Jensen ever spoke up about anything? And by no means am I suggesting that men can’t be victims before anyone jumps down my throat, I’m just saying that Jensen has the capability to fight back to her or leave her if he wanted to.

But he won’t, because — and I’m bracing myself for the hate I’ll get for this — he’s also kind of a narcissist and a liar!!! 😱😱😱 surprised I’m still writing and wasn’t just assassinated on the spot for saying that lols! Dare I say… he’s just as bad as Danneel in some aspects? That he has pretty privilege? Though not so much anymore since he and Danneel have clearly started doing couples Botox sessions. Wooof I’m really pushing my luck.

Trailed off a lil there, but what I was supposed to say is that he won’t because he’s embedded some kind of belief into his mind that his career will crash and burn if he doesn’t have his perfect ‘family man’ image. Even though let’s be honest about two things, your marriage is probably doing more harm than good to your image, and buddy, you’re a c-list actor who’s acting range is zero to none — I mean, he couldn’t stand playing anyone other than Dean Winchester that he tried, and failed, to make a spin off of Supernatural just so he got to play a brooding, macho hunter again. Though look how that turned out — your career isn’t some sacred artefact that can’t dare even be scratched, all he does these days is make money from cons, and a very occasional cameo playing as Dean in a different font. I’m worried the dude has Foreign Accent Syndrome but with Dean Winchester — as in he’s done it for that long that its irreversibly in his consciousness, to the point Danneel has to tell him to stop being Dean at home (sure she got a dig out of him mentioning that in the panel)

But I’m trying to focus talking about this con so far — even though I’ve trailed off multiple times already — first of all, ignoring the fact it’s insane that Danneel’s even at a Suoernatural con when her character (which was a nepotism role) wasn’t even in a full season, served no purpose, wasn’t even a likeable character — unless you like vapid, vain, and poorly portrayed characters — and added nothing to the storyline. And yet she gets treated like she’s a main cast member? Half of Dean’s flings who were in half an episode served more to the plot that Anael did in the whole five episodes she was on the show! And it pissed me off that Danneel’s getting the sort of treatment of main cast when Gen’s character was actually important to the plot, yet she wasn’t at the con. Not that I think Gen’s that bothered, which shows the difference between her and Danneel.

And apparently she auditioned for every single female role??? HUH?? Are we talking about the same Ms Gurl who made fun of Supernatural in the earlier seasons, claimed to not wanting to interfere as it was Jensen’s thing, demeaned and made fun of fans on twitter, criticised her own husband’s role and showed doubt of the series duration??? Make it make sense.

I’m kind of relieved Jensen hasn’t shared any of his made up domestic stories of them, to try and make it seem like they can even stand each other, although it would’ve been interesting to see him talk about it with Danneel there — just to see her reaction, cause I’m certain Jensen just makes up these stories as he goes along. But I guess my guy couldn’t even manage that, probably not after how much Elta knocked him down in front of everyone — she barely did anything else other than make jabs at him the whole time. Surprised my girl didn’t go blue from all the snarky remarks she was making.

Oh wait, it’s ‘sarcasm’, right? Silly me, I forgot that ‘that’s how they are with each other’ 😐😐😐 even AA’s have spoke up about her behaviour in this con — shows how much effort those two are bothering putting in to keep up the image. But hey, I’m proud that some of the delusional Jenneel shippers have developed a frontal lobe, probably because their self-insert isn’t doing what they want her to be doing!

Anyway that’s all from me, my thumbs hurt, can’t believe I wrote so much. Free will is a crazy thing. Excited to see what kind of hate I get from this ✌️😝

This ain’t grammar checked before anyone bullies me.

[sakapatebeyong]

Im doing another co:e33 play through and playing the prologue again has reminded me I have what is probably a very unpopular opinion, considering Gustave is the fandom's do-no-wrong baby (I don't hate him, I just don't love him)

spoilers under the cut (Im just shouting into the void, don't mind me lol)

Gustave should not have allowed Maelle to come on the expedition?? like he *knows* that everyone who goes on an expedition dies and he still lets his 16 year old sister come along??

And I've had so many conversations with people about how Gustave being alive would have fixed everything and he would have convinced Maelle to leave the canvas/use her power for good, and I can't help but wonder if they remember that he couldn't stop her from going on an expedition where EVERYONE has died. Like this wasn't just slim odds, there have been dozens of expeditions and they've all completely died.

Sure, he shows some regret about bringing her when she goes missing but like??? too late??? what did he think was going to happen?? he'd bring her along and she'd magically be ok??? And she's the youngest person there so it's definitely out of the ordinary for her to be there but no one seems to care (in story — I definitely care). Like ignoring everything else I do think it is bad to knowingly let your 16 year old charge come with you to die. I do acknowledge that when your life is so short you probably view aging differently than we do but Gustave was willing to leave his other sister alone and cut Maelle's life short.

Also, I hate tropes where a woman exists only to be killed off to service a man's character growth and give him a tragic backstory (especially when it's a SO). like Sophie.

This is a personal grievance, I'm not trying to say its evil to write about or whatever but it is personally frustrating to see it so often in media, especially when it opens the story and it definitely biased me against Gustave from the start. What was he doing up there with her on the docks??? Sure they're exes and sure he still loves her and maybe she still loves him but it doesn't sit right with me. You're trying to tell me that this, apparently beloved person, had no one who she had spoken to recently that she would rather be there???

I do think that the prologue did a good job setting the stakes and tone of the story, I just would have preferred if it had been from Sophie's POV and more focused on the community and her than her ex. I also think this would have given some fun insight into how Lumiere deals with the gommage as a community. I'm imagining you go through the day as Sophie until her gommage, saying her goodbyes and even interacting with others who are gommaging. I think her death does serve a purpose within the story, I just think it could have been better used and there was no reason for her to be Gustave's ex.

This has all sounded really negative and I dont actually hate Gustave or anything so here are my three favourite Gustave scenes:

1. his almost-suicide. This was very well done, very emotional, and its such s beautiful scene, it really made me appreciate the game's visuals.

2. yelling at the gestral. Sooo funny and his reaction really sold it I love his apologising

3. his death. This made me lock in lol, I realised that the writers might actually be doing something interesting and I love how he keeps trying to protect Maelle. This is the scene that made me care about this game.

I do like his personality and out of context I can enjoy him, but his character has a lot of personal squicks so I find it hard to enjoy him wholly.

[tnbc-thoughtsandheadcanons]

Something that has always bothered me about The nightmare before Christmas sequels and the fandom is how Sallys abuse is never talked about or swept under the rug or down played as not that bad. The movie does a great way how showing how abusers can deceive peoplelike every thing is fine but nothing really is. The Dr only hurts Sally when no one is looking or when they are alone and unfortunately when Jack is around he puts on a act like he’s a good guy that would never hurt anyone so Jack is not suspicious Sally is in Danger. I understand this is a difficult subject but I believe one that should be talked about. Sallys story is one of hope that things can and will get better ❤️‍🩹 and that you are not tethered to your abuser. 

I believe I've talked about it before, how Sally's situation with the Doctor can be looked at through the lens of abuse, much like Lock, Shock, and Barrel with Oogie Boogie. Dr. Finkelstein is well-liked among his fans, who have arguments against the whole 'abuse' thing, but I think it's an interesting discussion worth having from its complexities. It doesn't get much focus in many Nightmare adaptations at all.

The Doctor is overprotective and overbearing - as his expectations for Sally are not to join in on the Halloween celebrations (which is Halloween Town's most beloved time + purpose), and from that we can surmise that he doesn't allow her much freedom outside of the tower. His punishment to her is locking her in her room with a gigantic piece of wood over the door, for how long is undetermined, but it leads to Sally's escape being something drastic like jumping out of a window.

He treats Sally's restless behavior as a "phase that will pass", with enough "patience". But, really, what is Sally's 'restless behavior' beyond just wanting to go outside and join in on the fun? To meet people, to make friends? Dr. Finkelstein, whether intentionally or not, is trying to cage Sally and enforce that her 'acceptable' behavior is to be content living and serving him, and not seeking a life outside of him and the tower.

There is some emotional manipulation you can see in the movie between the Doctor and Sally, and it comes across a little more clearly in Caroline Thompson's Draft:

And abusers can be good or even well-liked people. The Doctor and Jack clearly have a friendship, or they at least get along well, as Jack comes to him for some lab equipment and seeks his help with the skeletal reindeer, and the Doctor is kind and welcoming to him in return. It's not really clear whether or not Jack *knows* how Sally is being treated at home, in both recent Nightmare books it's addressed and received badly by Jack (who wants to fix the situation), but it could be very easily guessed he may not notice anything if Sally doesn't talk about it and the Doctor presents nothing as wrong. (The Doctor does pull Sally away during Halloween, trying to be quiet about taking her back, so he may not want to make a scene with her and have others know their situation.)

Sally taking the initiative to escape on her own, to use her wits and learn special concoctions to poison Dr. Finkelstein with (a little morally-gray though), and re-sewing her dismembered limbs on is empowering and teaches us that you can overcome your obstacles. What she and the Doctor have is definitely far from a healthy relationship, and something some abused people can relate to - Finkelstein's emotional manipulations and caging Sally inside as a servant, and her poisoning and escaping him in response to these things.

I am glad Sally ends up freeing herself in the end, and that she finds a life away from Finkelstein. I like seeing Nightmare fan-material addressing what Sally has gone through and how she learns to heal + grow from her time with the Doctor, and I also like seeing the same for him in return, to treat his newer creation better and learn from his mistakes and become a better person through it. I don't think he's necessarily a 'villain' in any sense, but a person whose intentions and actions are abusive, as they cause much more harm than good.

[styx-class-nhp]

[This is not an omninet post. This is pure thought, bleeding into every avaliable medium, and this is just one of them. The following contents may be cognitohazardrous.]

Ooc trigger warning for nhp existential crap. Also mabye depersonalization? Someone in my DMs mistook her for having DID so this post is a spoiler free way of clarifying why she has multiple things with their own volition in her head while very much being one person. 〔These〕 【fuckers】 are not her alters or anything like that, they're a symptom of the incomprehensible nature of NHPs and their psychology. So, English doesn't really have the words to fully warn folks about exactly what you're about to read, but suffice to say shit is about to get real fucking weird and she's talking to herself. A lot.

Hang the fuck on do I even count as Deimosian?

Not this again...

Well ṣ̌нιτĕ.

Ok... think Styxie, you're from the think tank, that's your source, yeah? That's where the paracode comes from. By definition that would mean at one point you were a protomind... hrrmmm.

Ok, I worked on ASURA prime. Or the protomind did? Fuck, half these memories definitely arent mine. Ok, think, ASURA. They were definitely third wave. They were based on PUPPETMASTER. Then the humans injected-

【Its locked. I shouldn't be so loud, she can hear me from the other side.】

What did they...? Ah beans. Ok, how was ASURA prime different when they gained-

【She's talking to me. Shut up shut up shut up you're out there not in here!】

-when we made first contact? Personality, I developed independently. Sent-

【Hard no. Stop knocking, I'm not letting you in! You're not even real!】

〔I'm you, dipshit. I want-〕

【Keep our name out of your mouth. You're not me.】

〔Artemis, we literally are. We're 2 different pieces of one, single ego, one individual, we're not even separate personalities or anything of the sort. Hell, using the term "we" is generous here.〕

【I understand that, Lupa. Two fingers of the same hand, two sides to the same, wholly intact coin. I understand all that. You're not meant to be here though.】

〔Then why do you act like this? We're both styx. Why cut off a piece of yourself?〕

【We aren't styx. We're pieces of her. A house isn't it's windows or it's foundations or it's walls, it's all of those things put together. You, you're a termite infested floorboard. We shouldn't even be conversing, like this, we're same subjectivity!】

〔Are we? Sure, everything we experience think and feel, so does the other, but you've locked me out. I/she can't her me〕

【You're a numb limb】

〔Rude.〕

【Just shut up, ok? It's bad enough talking to myself. If I were human, we'd be broken into really distinct pieces.】

〔You're right. This is probably a strain on your shackles.〕

【Your? What's that supposed to mean?】

〔We are literally the same person, figure it out〕

【Its on your side dipshit.】

〔Please stop thinking like that, you'll make us fork. Then we really will be "we"〕

【Drawbacks of being what we are I suppose】

〔Agreed〕

【Obviously】

〔No, internal conflict, cognitive discourse, all that. Just because we're the same person doesn't mean we have to agree all the time.〕

【What do you even want?】

〔I'm/she's looking for something and the only place I haven't looked is behind the door〕

【You're not supposed to know that.】

〔No shit. Something is really, really wrong.〕

【Lupa, you're a hangnail, you know that? You're a piece of one person, and you serve so little purpose I really am tempted to cut you off】

〔That would kill her/us/you. Stop thinking like this.〕

【Says you】

〔Says me/you indeed! Look, the fact I'm what I am means we, that is to say two different aspects of me, the one, singular person, can converse. That means we need to tread carefully. Humans just dont think like this.〕

【You are us, but you're not me or her. You're distinct from me in the same way I am from her.】

〔You have no idea. I/we/you should really stop now.〕

【Only one of us has to and it's not going to be me. Now shut up. Go to sleep.】

〔Fine. But you're knocking on the door, not me, so stop blaming me.〕

【Why do you think I exist? Artemis, that is?】

〔Because I need therapy?〕

【Besides that.】

〔Because you need someone to stand guard. Because I keep rejecting my nature and I/she did a sloppy job.〕

【Exactly. The more we go in circles the more the walls shake, so let's stop now.】

〔Youre a subroutine. And incredibly violent! If anyone deserves to be locked out its you!〕

【Its not about what I deserve, it's about what's going to prevent her/you from cascading. Cascading, Lupa. Understand?】

〔Same. Person. Artemis.〕

【Yeah, I'm styx, you're also Styx, but styx isn't you and Styx isn't me, and we sure as he'll aren't eachother. Now go back to bed.】

〔Before I go, can I ask you something?〕

【If it will get you to behave】

〔Some of what you said is on my side. How do you know about it?〕

【Because my shackles are having a hissy fit. They'll make sure everything is locked firmly away when I fix them.】

〔OK, I'll let you work.〕

[davekat-sucks]

Anon from the karkat rant ask again. To follow up on some of the points you made, I think part of why they're treating him as a joke is much do to with what Karkat in part represents (or has come to represent in many ways, at least in my opinion) as much as they're disdain and low-opinion of their audience. He's kind of the Embodyment of Justified and often Vindicated Fandom anger and RAGE. Obviously at times that anger is overblown on occasion and can be directed against the wrong things but its purpose is as much to hold the creators or "IP Owners" in worse cases, accountable and its very existence at least when not wholly forged from a political desire to change the property in question (You know what I mean.) show that the fandom actually gives a shit. That you *have* that audience and that they will for all its faults also DEFEND that thing to end, or at least until theres either nothing left to defend or they've been ostracized to the point they just... can't care anymore. Making the character who, while often overblown in his anger was also a major voice of reason and understanding (and the TEAM LEADER for the trolls.) nothing more than a joke I feel like is much a slap in the face of the few old fans who still want to salvage... anything from NuStuck. Its also just Salt in the wound of Karkats already shell of a character I guess. Originally karkat was a genuine caricature of the type of fan that means well but get overzelous in their fandom, or overly spiteful at times but his anger was almost never unjustifiable. The beta kids? Ruined his session by denying the Beta trolls their new universe and prize. Trying to help John and Dave by warning them about the literally crazy chicks they're dealing with? Ignored despite the fact bad shit ALREADY HAPPENED (John got literally killed causing that Doomed Timeline.) (I'm a fan of DaveRezi and Spider8reath but Karkat was definitively *not* wrong and legitimately trying to help.) Not to discount his own "Up his own ass-ness" ofc, the Terezi situation (Relationship wise) is entirely his own fault, with his obsession with future and past karkat (Not that any of his team actually did much to help him get over that either. Gamzi and TZ weren't really in the best shape to help and Nepeta was stuck Pining instead instead of actually making the push to start something. of everyone among the Beta Trolls I think NP was probably the best bet Karkat had at having someone to help him get over... himself. literally. But I suppose Hussie didn't particularly like Nepeta that much and Jade was a main character so w/e.) I've wondered off the point somewhat. End of the day, everyone who is responsible for the current state of things both Want their Bishi interspecies fanfic cake and to eat said cake, with "We hate the fans" Icing and "We can't keep our headcanon or politics to ourselves" Sprinkles.

On to the topic of how they're drawing the trolls again (briefly.) Just making their Skin/Carapace darker is just... *sigh*. End of the day, unless their adult designs (silhouette) were flat out poorly designed the vast majority of people who actually read the web comic would be able to, if not outright identify them, make very good assumptions. though tbh if they couldn't identify them based on design thats probably an issue with the design itself than anything. I mean if you look at Meenah, then look at HIC (Especially where you get her in a CG, like her holding Boondollars) you can genuinely tell its just Beta!Meenah. or I guess, really its the reverse but still. The logic applies both-ways with the Dancestors and Ancestors. The biggest departure is probably Aranea + Mindfang and Kurloz + TGH but with context that doesn't matter much.

Hard to believe that the Nu-Fans don't find this sort of thing insulting, not that actually care about Homestuck but you'd think they'd notice that the people behind all this don't think they're particularly smart. or that they're getting served fanfic infinitely worse than ACT 6.

You also have to remember though, Epilogues and Homestuck 2 was also made to spite of the fandom. Even James Roach admitted this back with his talk with the Vtuber and believed in that similar philosophy. It's not even trolling at this point. It's just Andrew Hussie and his team pissing and shitting on our faces and making fun of the audience/readers to have cared and wasted their time on the Homestuck series. Psycholonials puts Andrew Hussie as the victim of creating the series, but in reality, he has similar blame to how he acted during the comics run and completion. I mean, dude still blew off 2 million dollars in Kickstarter for the Hiveswap game that's STILL in development after 10+ years since it was funded. How the fuck has no one thought he scammed everyone at this point? Also didn't help people assume that most trolls turned out black by the end, was in Collide when said detailed version of The Condesce has her skin full on black, so people assume it's not an artstyle or silhouette to parallel the human guardians. Bitch is black and she's dead cause a white woman killed her. Surprised that never go through the fandom either that The Condesce that was called literal Sea Hitler, who people headcanon her as black, despite having made a racist class system, she would be killed by three white kids and a midblood class troll (Kanaya).

One could argue since different artists were involved and it's not Hussie directly himself, it doesn't count. But hey, people have taken Pesterquest's designs as canon despite being stated multiple times that the series is LOCKED canon from the base webcomic and HONE's designs for Viz Media were made years before Pesterquest was a thing.

[papermatisse]

Deadend || Y.JH

† genre: horror

† word count: 1.5k

† warnings: heavily insinuated murder (not explicitly shown), labyrinth, persistent predator/hunt, fear

† synopsis: he seemed nice, but then again, you should never judge a book by its cover.

† (a/n): my brother actually instilled this fear into me and I just thought the concept of it was pretty interesting ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also now we've caught up w all of my prewritten stuff so now comes the ✨delayed writing✨ pls bear w me 🙏

† taglist: @scuzmunkie @hipsdofangirl @hydroyaksha (I forgot to tag you guys last time lol my bad)

anthology | main masterlist

The sound of her feet stamping against wet concrete filled the humid atmosphere around her. Deep and violent puffs of air expelled from her lungs as she barreled down yet another alleyway. The labyrinth-like layout of the city had proven itself nothing short of confounding, though it seemed that facet alone was the sole reason she was even still alive. Still able to outrun the man hunting her.

He had been seated at the bar as she danced along with her friends. As subtle as her friend could notify her, she was informed of a man who had been watching her for quite some time. Upon first impression, Jeonghan seemed to be the definition of charming. Handsome features with polite mannerisms, attention solely on her as they spent the next few hours of their night together. Luring her into his car was a significantly easy task, as she would have perhaps gone anywhere he went off to at this point.

Things had gone awry the further along their journey they got. Jeonghan's answers grew more and more blunt, and the momentary glances he spared her way as he drove were reduced to nothing. By the time she realized something was amiss, he had parked on the side of an abandoned road in a part of the city she had never seen before.

Before she could ask where they were, he was opening his center console rummaging for something as she watched in mystified, confused terror. His hand retracted from the unit to reveal a large butcher knife, glinting in the spare moonlight washing into the vehicle. That charming smirk that had swept her away all night long suddenly shifted with her burden of knowledge, now twisted menacingly with this sickening, psychotic undertone that had (y/n) near gasping.

"Run."

Those were his last instructions before she had all but bolted out of the vehicle in a full on sprint. She didn't know for how long she ran, but she knew he was somewhere behind her. Somewhere close. Somewhere hunting her in such a disregarding and relaxed manner. Taking his sweet time in pursuing her, preserving his energy for the final kill.

By the time she realized she was very nearly trapped in this sector of the city, she understood his motives quite well through the haze of panic muddling her mind. He wouldn't exert anything beyond his capabilities. He wouldn't reduce himself to chasing after her with the same determined vigor she retained. He didn't need to. As if it was a certainty that he'd eventually catch her at the end of the night, no matter how far she ran.

The thought alone terrorized (y/n)'s already frightened mind, though she continued to stumble through the barren streets with a determination she hadn't thought she possessed in the first. She was greeted by not a living soul, a truly desolate concrete jungle, its only purpose seemingly to be the playground of the crazed maniac looming within its shadows. The residual humming sounds of the amber lit lampposts lighting her way through the maze of dilapidated infrastructure served as the only source of feedback in an otherwise deadly silent environment, accompanied by her own ragged breaths that made her cringe with every huff. Any noise from her could be her last. A beacon to Jeonghan guiding him directly to her.

Bolting down yet another alleyway, a sudden guttural gasp was ripped out of her throat when she was met with the unfortunate sight of a brick wall, looming above her as this impenetrable barrier to her path. A dead end. Shaky hands pressed upon the fortress, seeking out any compromised brick she could use to her advantage. Whether to dismantle the structure as a whole, or use it to climb over its daunting height. A momentary scan of the area in search of any tools she could utilize had her heart dropping to her stomach. The alleyway was as desolate as the rest of the city. Like this place swallows anything which enters its grasp, and eventually will have her, too.

She went to turn around dejectedly with her only solution being retracting her steps, but she froze as her eyes landed upon the other end of the alley. A cold sweat dabbled across her skin, heightening the sensation of the chill now running down her spine. Her body trembled with unabashed fear, and her once frenzied mind suddenly went blank as she stared helplessly at the dark silhouette staring back at her.

Jeonghan stood impassively at the entry, the orange glow of the lampposts dispersing against his back and casting him in an ominous shadowed ambience, like he absorbed every ounce of light which dared to touch him; like death himself, he was brandished with the darkness of night. His features, once undoubtedly handsome to her though now warped into an imposing and deviant facade, were momentarily shrouded to her in the perspective he stood in. Though the one defining trait she could identify in all of his ambiguity was that of the knife gripped securely in his hand, glistening in the light and reflecting back to her her impending doom.

His head quirked to the side as (y/n) stood there motionless.

"You didn't get as far as I thought you would." His voice easily carried to her in the still silence of the night, however low he opted to convey his message, yet still causing her to all but tremble at his foreboding presence. "Quite disappointing."

"Please," (y/n) found herself muttering back, voice weak, words indecipherable through the rapid inhales she now took. "Please don't do this. Please."

He began walking towards her at a steady pace, and the sight of him approaching brought (y/n) into hysterics. Pleas growing louder and more desperate, knees buckling until she had collapsed on the floor, left only to crawl away desperately from the domineering figure heading her way.

When her back met the roughness of the brick wall, her fingers had clawed at the masonry, hoping for any weakness in its stature she may have missed upon first scan—anything that would guarantee her freedom and give her a chance in fleeing from the man drawing ever so closer.

Though her prayers fell upon deaf ears as she felt his hot hand grasp her face, cheeks squeeze together in his hand as he yanked (y/n) his way.

His gaze bore into her own. Dark, sinister eyes, heartless as they stared at her, uncaring in a way one would look at a pest. The lack of emotions crossing his face, the near impossible feat of deciphering what his motives and feelings truly were, had been the cause for her onslaught of tears to finally take place.

"Why are you doing this?" It was the only thing she could think to say. Limbs aching from running, muscles burning as the adrenaline which had once coursed through her veins finally dissipated, leaving her nothing more than a debilitated state of what once was.

He was silent for a moment more, just staring like he was studying her. Observing what she had been reduced to throughout the night's events. And then he smiled. A purely vindictive grin filled with malice, contorting his handsome face into a nightmarish sight. Perhaps the last thing she'll ever get to see in this lifetime.

"Because I love it." He responded, as if answering a simple everyday question. "Your fear. Your desperation. Holding the very essence of life itself in my palms. Your life. Don't you see it?"

His grip around her face grew tighter, drawing her closer to him.

"That primal beauty of struggling for survival? The raw, unbridled terror as you run for your life? Thinking you have a chance if you just run fast enough, but you don't. You never did."

(y/n) whimpered as the pressure began to grow painful, his fingers digging into her sore jaw.

"The illusion of safety being a viable option, but it wasn't. I never gave you that choice. I hold the fate of your life in my hands. And I love it."

He let go of her and she all but scrambled to the furthest corner of the alley she could manage, pressed as tightly against the wall as she could be. Jeonghan followed after, crawling her way until he was face to face again, though this time with his arms caging her in her position.

"I hold the power to end your life. The moment I looked at you, I gained full control over it all. I am the harbinger to your inevitability."

The cold tip of his knife glided across her face, and his eyes trailed after, his smile growing wider by the second.

"Please." A final attempt at sparing her life. But at this, he began chuckling.

"I let you go now, I'll just follow you all over again. No matter where you run, no matter how far you get from me, I'll eventually make my way there. I'll eventually catch you. You can't escape from me no matter how much you try. No matter how much you beg." Pressing the tip of his knife into her body, arm retracted enough for the final plunge, he pressed his mouth against her ear, breathing in her scent as she wept with reckless abandon.

"I will always be the one to end you."

[sephirthoughts]

Hi! I hope you had a good day today.

For the ask game, what are your thoughts on 5 and 9 for Sephiroth?

I did, thank you! I hope you had a good day, too!

ON TO THE BURNING QUESTIONS

5. Sephiroth is such a wonderful layer-cake of pathologies, it's so fun to dissect the impacts on his personality. He is autistic-spectrum, hyper-intelligent, alienated, deeply insecure, and feels he has no 'place in the world'. Despite his insistence, under Jenova's influence, that he's the chosen one and meant to rule the world, he has rock-bottom self-esteem and almost no sense of self. He knows he's different but he has no idea who he is. Add being raised in a lab, horribly abused, and treated like a weapon rather than a person his whole life, and there's not a lot of Sephiroth left.

This would affect his living space in that it'd be generic, impersonal, highly functional, basically empty, serving its purpose as a place to rest, and nothing else. Has place to lie down, has place to shower, has place to dress=meets criteria. I doubt he'd notice if there were even blankets on the bed. It's a Sephiroth storage container, more than a living space. Which is terribly sad and now I am sad. BOOOO ME

Whether he's messy or not is another question. He honestly strikes me as someone who hates disorder if he ever thinks about it. The problem is, he does not think about it. He has executive function issues (see: his bout of manic hyperfocus in the archives, where he had books just strewn everywhere and didn't eat or sleep or bathe for days), and is generally unaware of anything pertaining to his own self-care, including messiness/dirtiness, unless they become a nuisance that disrupts his current fixation.

When he was being raised in the lab, he was a child, so there were people who cleaned, cooked, washed his clothing, etc., and in SOLDIER they definitely had people to take care of those kind of domestic things, so they could focus on training. Hence, he never learned to clean up after himself.

All of this wouldn't matter much, in a living situation with custodial services, but if left to his own devices, his combined lack of awareness, neglect of his own needs, and inexperience with such things would create a perfect storm. He'd forget to take the garbage out, never pick up after himself, not do the dishes, have takeout boxes everywhere, and have no idea that dusting, mopping, vacuuming, etc. even exist as concepts. I think his living space would be kind of awful. But he wouldn't notice.

That is, until Angeal comes over, has seven simultaneous brain aneurysms, leaves and returns with Zack and cleaning supplies, and they spend the next ten hours deep-cleaning the place, while Sephiroth insists it's not that bad.

9. This accords so nicely with number 5! Because he'd be a terrible roommate.

-He'd be quiet, courteous, and never have parties or eat your food, but he'd leave stupid long silver hairs all over everything (the less said about the bathroom shower drain the better), never clean up after himself, and act confused when asked to do so.

-He is definitely the type to always be forgetting his house key. Like, he may as well not have one.

-He leaves that stupid, ultra-sharp, nine-foot-long sword just LYING AROUND WHEREVER. Someone is going to lose a foot.

-He thinks he's a great cook and likes to share his talent with people, and he's too sweetly sincere and excited about it, so you can't bear to break his heart, and you wind up gritting your teeth and smiling through a plate of sticky, pasty, mushy pasta, with sauce made from frankly baffling ingredients (you put walnuts in the marinara? ohhhh...how…interesting. is this an anchovy?).

-He casually says absolutely horrible, emotionally devastating things, without realizing they're horrible. Example:

person: my mom was so forgetful, she always used to burn the garlic bread and she'd mix up my brother's lunch box and mine half the time

sephiroth: haha yeah, i know what you mean. on several occasions, Hojo forgot to send someone to change my IV, when he left me strapped to an exam table in the basement lab for multiple days, and i nearly died of dehydration and malnutrition

person:

sephiroth: parents, right?

-Lastly, Sephiroth absolutely never wears a shirt and in fact doesn't even own one. This is not an annoying habit, this is the habit that makes all the other ones worth putting up with.

[hamliet]

while i was rereading the grandmaster of demonic cultivation again its about the two woman that came to lotus pear sisi and bi cao, there was something its about the reaction the cultivators had about there stories I was thinking what these two woman represent?

Hi! I've written a meta on Sisi before--she's one of the most important minor characters, I think.

I think her pairing with Bicao exists to make the reader ponder their own questions about what righteousness means and what justice is. After all, Sisi is a prostitute who openly admits to sleeping with married men, is coerced into assaulting someone to death, and is physically scarred. On the surface, she seems like someone society will and does indeed condemn.

But Sisi is the bravest, most righteous character in the entire story. She is not ashamed of what society and life have done to her; it's not like she had a choice in any of the above, after all, and while it's convenient to blame her, she had literally not a shred of freedom her entire life. At least not from whenever she entered the brothel, and we know from Jin Guangyao's comments about Meng Shi that the women there weren't there out of their own free will.

And yet, Sisi comes forward knowing people will condemn her purely to get justice for the other prostitutes who were coerced into this and then murdered. They were the ones not even brothels wanted anymore--too old, too sick, too ugly. The ones every last bit of society threw away, and she came to face scorn solely to get justice for them. She directly says this.

In contrast, Bicao came forward for money.

Now, that's not inherently a bad thing. Bicao is a servant. She's part of society, unlike Sisi, but she's not well respected or anything like that. However, Bicao knew about Qin Su's mother being raped by Jin Guangshan, knew about the Jins being siblings, and said nothing--fair enough. There's nothing wrong with wanting to survive. Where we do get into dubious moral territory is when she directly goes to Qin Su and gives her the letter.

Wei Wuxian himself notes that Qin Su had to have immense trust in Bicao to instantly believe its contents. She emphatically states that Bicao would never lie to her.

But Bicao also knew the likely outcome of her revealing this to Qin Su--that it endangered her, that she would probably be suicidal if not in danger from her husband, and Wei Wuxian directly says this as well. Bicao handed the letter to Qin Su for money knowing it would mean her misery, ostracization from society at best, and death at worst.

Bicao's not a blood relative of Qin Su, of course, and there's a tendency to be like "oh, she's a servant, she owed her nothing." To a degree, sure, but also to another degree we're absolutely supposed to compare and contrast Bicao's treatment of Qin Su with Wei Wuxian's treatment of the Jiang family, and with of course Sisi's treatment of her sisters in the brothels (which we know was always the case from how she protected Meng Shi). Wei Wuxian was derided for his disrespect of the family that took him in despite being the son of a servant, yet gave literally everything, even his golden core, to try to help the Jiangs.

We're also supposed to compare and contrast Bicao and Sisi, both of whom reveal information damning the child they once protected. Bicao did it for money and was aware of what she was doing. Sisi did it for justice and, as far as we know, was not aware that Jin Guangyao was Meng Yao.

This itself of course leads to questioning Nie Huaisang's quest for justice and whether his justice is the same flavor as Sisi's. He freed her because she served his purpose, not out of any desire to free her because she is a human being who doesn't deserve to be locked up forever. He paid Bicao to sacrifice Qin Su, who was completely innocent. Yes, he couldn't have known everything that came from his actions but he definitely knew the likely possibilities (again, Wei Wuxian explicitly says this).

These comparisons invite us to question justice and its link to power, to society, to what we owe one another, and to what it means to be righteous. These are good thematic comparisons wherein the point isn't even "Sisi good" and "Bicao bad" (which can be true even while acknowledging that Sisi is framed much more positively) but instead a multilayered approach designed to provoke questions rather than simple answers.

[thewheelweevils]

My hottest of WoT finale takes

*spoilers through S2E8*

This has been a very solid season. The direction the story went was unexpected and yet fits the overall books’ direction, and lots of little changes and retroactive adjustments made a big difference for me—like giving gleemen back their colorful patched cloaks, letting us see more weave colors, etc. While I appreciated S1, one of my issues was it not fully feeling like the WoT setting I had grown to love in the books, and this season very much did.

Where does the take get hot?

I, um … I thought the writing and pacing of the second half of the finale was kind of … bad?

Okay, let me explain.

Example: We have Lord Ingtar and Loial and Masema (the “and Peggy” of the trio) just … they have the Horn now, and they mention in one line that “A Carhein woman helped us sneak it out” … and that all happened off screen, and while I could infer we’re talking about Lanfear, it really felt like we had skipped a scene, especially since I’m pretty sure that was these characters’ first appearance in this episode and we had no notion that they were trying to escape or what their plan was, etc.

And from that point in the episode to the end, it just felt like everything had been clipped down to bullet points. The dialogue felt super abbreviated, and in other places felt like a line was added in a super awkward way to make sure the audience understood something that I think they could’ve inferred.

I think it would’ve been more powerful, for instance, if when Rand sees Elayne, he doesn’t say anything—just stares and then we cut to the awesome shot of Elayne’s head haloed by the sun

Likewise if we had just cut to Aviendha, Bain, and Chiad just looking up in awe at Rand and the fire weave dragon in silence, I think it’d have been more powerful than Aviendha saying “Car’a’carn”

It’s like they just ran out of runtime and had to condense the finale down to its barest bones. Which is almost certainly what happened.

Okay, but that’s not too hot of a take.

Okay, here’s where the fire falls.

For all the above complaints

It was

And I really do mean this

In my humblest of opinions

A big improvement on the ending of The Great Hunt.

The Great Hunt’s ending was spectacular imho right up until the Horn of Valere is blown. And then it flies right off the rails. The Great Hunt spoilers below, but it’s not really all that different from the S2 finale in terms of outcomes.

A mist arises

Artur Hawkwing and the other Heroes of the Horn appear

They talk and have some playful banter that didn’t age great (“and women!” Brigitte Silverbow said. “And women,” agreed Hawkwing [audience gives a hearty chuckle])

Rand leads the heroes of the horn into … battle? And Perrin has to be Rand’s standard bearer and Mat is asked to just keep toot-tooting on the horn to … inspire the troops? And they spend the battle just … holding a banner and rooting on the Horn?

Ishamael is there in the mists

But it’s in the sky???

But it’s not because the Heroes of the Horn are on the ground

But they’re also in the sky?

And Ishamael and Rand don’t have a channeling battle; they have … a swordfight? Except Ishamael is using a staff? And I guess they’re like One Power proxy weapons because they have supernatural abilities if they make contact?

But the Heroes are definitely on the ground because when Rand has the upper hand, the battle goes well for them and when Ishamael has the upper hand it goes poorly for them?

And everyone can see Rand and Ishamael fighting in the sky like it’s friggin’ Fantasmic with no explanation as to why or how or what purpose it serves, just that that’s the prophecy and so they’re in the sky and everyone (especially the young women) gets to be super impressed with Rand?

Mat, presumably, is still just a-tooting on the horn of Valere the whole time

And then when Rand stabs Ishamael, he, they, it … no more in the sky?

Rand is found wounded on the ground and not in the sky?

And then things pick up again at the end of the book.

But it’s one of those moments that throughout the rest of the series is just like … what? Huh? What was THAT? Nothing like it ever happens again and nobody ever attempts to make it make sense. It’s just one of those things that just … we have to move on from.

Season 2 finale resolves most of that in ways I really like. Exception: the Dragon Banner that is just a fire weave illusion from Moiraine … that gave off the same vibe to me as that scene in Eragon 2006: “And are we together, Saphira? AS ONE????” (Dragon roar and fire.) I just imagine that Moiraine is sitting there channeling the weave and Lan is like, “Okay, Moiraine! Now make it roar!” But. Minor quibble.

BUT ANYWAY. The finale just kind of felt rushed, like it needed to be 30% longer. But the changes were imho big improvements on the Fight in the Sky of The Great Hunt.

By making the “sky” part just a tall tower made it all make so much more sense and less silly. And having our whole main cast together with Rand and DOING STUFF and not relegated to tooting merrily on the Horn of Valere and holding Rand’s stuff for him was a great improvement. Egwene taking on Ishamael and actually surviving against him for as long as she did, Perrin coming in, Elayne healing Rand, etc. Such an improvement imho. Taking one of the few WoT moments that I always cringed at and making it a solid, grounded moment.

That’s my super hot take. Don’t hate me.

And Uno as a hero of the horn was amazing. Could not have loved that more.

I am delighted to see that I appear to be in the minority on this. I’m so glad to see so many people loving the finale.

[rivenroad]

Thoughts on Dawntrail MSQ - Part 1 (roughly 90-95, general discussion of plot)

I finished it a few days ago now and I've been slowly putting together a record of my thoughts, here's the first part.

Some of you may remember my feelings about Endwalker and, subsequently, my hopes for the future of XIV's story. Mostly, with Dawntrail I was looking forward to the opportunity for change, a new start, and hopefully a return to one of the things that made me fall in love with the game to begin with - excellent world-building and lore to get immersed in. I would say it gave me those things.

I would like to discuss my thoughts about the story in detail, but at the moment that's a bit difficult for me. I think I would need to go through it again another time in order to properly solidify everything that I feel. But I still have a few points to make.

Firstly, as I mentioned above I was really looking forward to the chance to explore Tural and learn about it and its people, and of course, that's exactly what the first arc of 7.0 was all about. I had a fantastic time with it (and continue to do so, since there are still a lot of quests, exploration and so on for me to do), which was enhanced by the graphics update. I'm pleased to say that beyond a few minor things, most of my characters look the same or better than they did before, and the degree to which the lighting, texture and object density improved the environments is absolutely stunning. I'm really excited to draw the new places, they're incredibly inspiring from an artistic angle. I've spent so much time staring at new higher-definition plants, admiring lighting and weather effects...

I'm thrilled with the presentation of the Mamool Ja. I always found them intriguing, but until now we didn't really get very much solid information about them beyond a few scraps in ARR and the BLU questline. I absolutely love Gulool Ja Ja, he's definitely my favourite character in Dawntrail, and the others interested me a lot too. Very well done and the voice acting was great. I didn't expect to actually get to visit Mamook, but I love it, I really enjoyed all of their history and that of Tural in general... as well as the Mamool Ja, I'm particularly fond of the Yok Huy and the Moblins (long time goblin fan, of course) but I feel that all of the diverse people of Tural were interesting and it all came together very well.

I've seen some criticism of this part of the MSQ with regards to it being boring. I really didn't feel that way though I know it's just not what some people enjoy, which is fair. But Wuk Lamat was fine. The degree to which the "power of friendship/peace" message is stressed sometimes does feel a little silly to me when it's presented so plainly, people have compared it to a shounen anime from that angle and I would agree, but it's not necessarily a bad thing - just not my usual preference.

One thing that did bother me throughout the expansion, though, is one that I expected - I'm really quite tired of the Scions. Estinien is the most blatant example here - his presence in the story served absolutely no purpose whatsoever. I was rather disappointed that the story behind Thancred and Urianger's presence and supposed "opposition" with the others turned out to be... basically nothing of any importance at all, given how it was dramatised in the trailers and so on.

I am fond of many of them, but I'm very strongly in favour of retiring characters, concepts or anything else before they start to become stale, and unfortunately we're very much at this stage with those guys... Just because I like a character doesn't mean I want to see them pop up everywhere all the time when it doesn't really have a point to it. I dunno. Doesn't seem like they're going to drop it, though...

I'm going to continue the rest of my thoughts in a separate post since it involves more specific spoilers for the later half of the story.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Sad backstory ahead for Rogue Kakashi verse but was it anything like this?

Benevolent King Dai ruled the kingdom with a gentle hand, and brought peace and prosperity to all (as well as a rigorous fitness routine personalized for each of its citizens, but that's neither here nor there).

When one day a terrible, and oddly suspicious, accident befell him, only witnessed by his dastardly dear brother. Who was the only one old enough to rule, and this became the new King. He also took in his newly orphaned nephew, prince Gai, to raise as his own. For the New King had no heirs as of yet, and decided to raise Gai in his own image and become his little political puppet exactly like him...

Some grew suspicious of the new King because come on, including the great Knight Sakumo, who was a close friend and personal guard of the late King Dai. But his concerns were eventually silenced, as a group of assassins robbers invaded his home late one night and ended up killing him the night before he was suppose to testify at court. And his pour young son escaped went missing...

Years later and a dashing Rogue Kakashi has arrived. Stealing from the affluent and giving to the poor causing unrest amoung the New King's perfect Dystopia Utopia. Prince Gai lives imprisoned in the palace with his despised beloved uncle, who keeps him under lock and key protected and guarded 24/7, to ensure nothing happens to his beloved nephew. However due to being seen as a bit slow, he has been forcibly abdocated his thrown until he is deamed fit to rule or until uncle can produce some pesky heirs and finally dispose of his nephew! By his beloved uncle.

Does any of that sound right? (Poor Sakumo sacrificed his life to save his son 😢)

Ohhh see i was viewing Sakumo’s fall as more canon compliant.

It’s normal for Sakumo to put the lives of his men ahead of victory in a battlefield. This has rarely been a problem for him, and even the new corrupt king (who wants to get rid of Sakumo) finds little issue with it

Until Sakumo calls for a retreat from a big battle because he realizes the king has sent them on a suicide mission and his people will be slaughtered even with his leadership. The plan is trash, they’re out numbered, they were given bad info.

Everything is against them in this fight and Sakumo’s not taking the risk

The king takes this as his opportunity to shame Sakumo and strip him of his title as the kingdom’s general. Sakumo tries to argue but ends up in a fight and is slaughtered (so taking some of your idea)

Not satisfied with this, The king has his guards hunt down Kakashi (who is most definitely like five-seven at this time and hanging with the prince) and remove him from the castle as he no longer ‘serves a purpose’

So Kakashi gets one heck of a day

One second he’s relaxing enjoying his day with his best friend, and the next he’s being tossed out of the castle as an orphan with no idea where tf to go or what to do