#like it’s all fear and desperation
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ATP I feel like no matter who wins this election shit is still gonna get pretty bad because what the fuck is going on with the DNC? Why is Israel like…the hill these people are willing to die on? I don’t get it. It would only benefit them politically to support an arms embargo on Israel I mean most of us don’t want our money going to fund wars anyway, and I mean it could EASILY make them actually look better than Trump considering Trump unconditionally supports Israel and is Netanyahu’s favorite candidate. Why are the democrats insisting on staying pro war and being pro military and all that shit when they know we’re sick and tired of them blowing all our tax money on wars? I mean can they not get money from anywhere besides AIPAC??? Can they not just like…like why do they wanna be Hillary Clinton and her stupid husband so bad???? And not to mention all that shit about them not even let a Palestinian speak at the fucking DNC stage??? The person who wanted to speak wasn’t even against the democrats and would’ve only brought attention and humanity to the Palestinians who’ve been suffering for the past 10 months, I did read the speech btw she uploaded it online in case anyone else wanted to read it, BUT YEAH! I’m just so fucking frustrated and sick of this fucking government refusing to listen or work with progressives or pro Palestine activists. Was spending the last 20 fucking years terrorizing Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and others for oil just not enough?????? Why do we need to keep having these endless fucking wars? There’s no fucking reason for this other than the US government on both sides, red and blue are bloodthirsty egomaniac greedy bastards. I’m tired of this. And those motherfuckers making fun of dead Palestinians will NOT see the gates of Heaven. I am not even religious but lord if there’s a heaven they’re not walking through the gates. They will show up at the gates of Heaven and fall through the trap door to the other side (okay maybe that won’t happen but still) I’m just disgusted by these people, and no I don’t think Trump should be president either btw I think Republicans are just as guilty and cartoonishly evil considering Reagan was the reason a lot of this mess started in the first place and they hate everybody anyway. But like…this is just frustrating. I hate seeing the Overton window shift further right in real time. If I wanted to go back to the Bush era I would build a goddamn Time Machine and hop my ass back to the year 2001, I’ll even bring my low rise jeans and baby tees so I can fit in while I watch Bush ruin the country. I’m just…
#I’m just incredibly frustrated#and it just feels like no matter how I vote or what I do the country is gonna keep going this route#like I guess they’re pushing right wing dogma bc they’re trying to get moderates and conservatives on board with democrats#also I know it’s disingenuous to act like Kamala is as bad as trump I mean in terms of domestic policy#like I still care about domestic policy but like#it feels like no matter what we’re going down a very dangerous path#and yeah I’m scared. most people are#which is why I also understand why a lot of ppl voting blue are lashing out the way they are#like it’s all fear and desperation#but still it doesn’t excuse the democrats refusing to work with the uncommitted movement#or refusing to listen to anybody
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Leashed to the floor by a short lenght of chain. The chain has just enough give to let them scramble back just a couple inches, low to the ground on their hands and knees, when they get scared. They can't even look up from how hard the unforgiving leash pulls their neck back towards the ground unless they stay where they are supposed to, right where whumper wants them to be.
#imagining big sad eyes filled with fear down on the floor like a dog#they instinctively try to back away and the chain snaps loudly#maybe they hold onto it with both hands#either pulling on it desperately or just as a small comfort#whump#my writing#whump writing#whump prompt#whumpee#fear#chained#leashed#pet whump#captivity whump#i fucking adore the mental image of a sad little guy in the middle of a dark room chained to the centre of the room#in my head they aren't restrained any other way because it don't see the reason to leash them if they can't even pull away#i do also enjoy an ankle chain#but i prefer it when their ankle is chained to whumper's bed#just!!! they are in bed sleeping and it would almost look idyllic if it wasn't for that one tiny detail.......#the chain innocently peeking out from under the blanket and running down to the side all the way to the floor#restrained#it does things to me
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Do you ever think about how Alisaie's biggest fear is losing the people she cares about? How the very first conversation you have with her alone, a deeply personal one, is about her confiding in you about those fears? Telling you that she hated the state of the world Louisoix died for because, to her, it wasn't worth the sacrifice? She tells you about all the allies she made and lost, who she watched die and could do nothing to save them.
Do you ever think about how Alisaie was consistently one of the first to act, to recklessly throw herself at danger throughout stb? She didn't care (as much) about herself getting hurt, but she'd be damned if she let her friends suffer without doing anything. She has to be fast and proactive, because if she can't protect them even when striking first, how would she be able to when acting after the fact?
Do you ever think about how every time her loved ones are in peril/are in risk of being in peril her heart just breaks? How whenever someone's safety is unsure she panics and immediately tries to contact them/rush to their aid? When Castrum Abania's cannon shot the tower that, for all she knew, Alphinaud was still in, she immediately stops what she's doing and runs to it in panic because her brother was in there and he might be dead.
Do you ever think about how when the Scions start getting their souls yanked to the First, Alisaie reacts the strongest? How, when Urianger and Y'shtola got taken, she fell to her knees shaking Uriangers body, screaming for him to wake up? And when Gaius appears with Alphinaud in the Burn, she immediately goes to fight him (before being stopped by Hien) because this man, who has been her enemy, is holding her brother's lifeless body. She doesn't care that she can't possibily beat him, he has her brother and she's already lost so much in such a short amount of time. She's lost Thancred, Y'shtola and Urianger already, she can't lose Alphinaud too.
Do you ever think about how you are the only one she can fully rely on at that time, but who is also at risk of being taken away? Of how she's so desperate for you to stay, to not be taken away, that Alisaie, who, for all her bluntness, prefers to rely on herself first and foremost, begs you not to leave her? She begs you. Alisaie does not beg. She yells at you to not do something, and she'll scold you to hell and back if you do it anyway, but she does not beg. But this time she did.
And then she ends up being taken away right in front of you. She cries out for help and uses her very last energy to reach out for you. And then she falls limp.
Do you ever think about how, when Alphinaud turns to tell her his plans at the end of Ultima Thule, she immediately rejects it without even letting him say it? She's lost so much and experienced so much grief, not only overall but also just in Ultima Thule. And she loathes to bring that grief onto another. Especially to one who has already lost so much, like you. She hates it. She ends up doing it, yes, but she hates it still.
DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT-
#AND THIS ISNT EVEN TOUCHING ON COILS OR GA BU OR LITERALLY ALL OF SHB OR LIKE 90% OF EW EITHER#SHE GOES THROUGH SO SO MUCH AND SHE LOSES SO MANY PEOPLE. HER LITERAL GREATEST FEAR IS REPEATEDLY SHOVED IN HER FACE SO MANY TIMES#I THINK ABOUT HER AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT. I THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING SHES BEEN THROUGH ALL THE TIME#THE END OF POST-STB BROKE ME OKAY. HAVING TO NOT ONLY WATCH ALL THE SCIONS GET TAKEN AWAY#BUT ALSO HOW ALISAIE REACTS TO AND GETS INCREASINGLY MORE DESPERATE WITH EACH ONE#JUST. JUST BREAKS MY HEART#I LOVE HER SO SO MUCH OKAY I WANT HER TO AHVE ALL THE HAPINESS IN THE WORLD#ALISAIE :'((((((((((#alisaie leveilleur#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles
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i’m so sorry but comedy peaked when the shameless writers made lip gallagher have anger issues and then decided he was absolute shit at fighting like you can’t get any fucking funnier than that
#i love him the more i think about him the more unserious he gets#like they really wrote this absolute geek who desperately needs to be diagnosed and had the meanest sense of humor ever#but they also made him the biggest teddy bear#and they expected me NOT to love him ????#like let’s all be ASTRONOMICALLY serious here#i don’t have to cutie patootie sweetie bear cookie pie him he does it himself#boyfriend i fear#sorry for being overbearingly down horrendous in the tags again#he’s just the most perfectest character ever i don’t make the rules sorry#lip gallagher#phillip gallagher#fiona gallagher#ian gallagher#debbie gallagher#carl gallagher#liam gallagher#shameless#shameless us#shameless uk#lgbt#lgbtq
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something i've unfortunately had to come to terms with and urge you all to keep in mind is that there is often no good faith conversation to be had with a zionist — these people are well aware that thousands of palestinians have been murdered in the past month, that the 1948 nakba was one of the most horrific displacements of a human population in history, that israel is currently carrying out ethnic cleansing with full endorsement from the united states — they simply don't care.
attempting to appeal to their sense of morality will not work when these people don't see palestinians as human beings; they have no moral conscience to speak of.
#palestine#usually i'm the loudest proponent of debate as you all well know but in cases like this theres just no amount of proof/evidence that will#change their minds i fear.. the israel propaganda is so laughable and yet some people are just . very very stupid#the only time i engage with zionist rhetoric is on tumblr where at least i can use my platform to show other people how to combat propagand#bc if theres one thing a zionist will be it is loud and wrong#hence why theyre still clinging desperately onto '40 beheaded babies' and other equally made up stories#so yes definitely do call out/dispute zionists where you can#but just remember which battles are worth it#i say this after engaging with one of the most braindead people i've ever seen on this website but c'est la vie !
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ok but im rly into the idea of till having a new era that brings the light back to his eyes and drives him forward if he gets to escape the arena. idk where he'd go from there but i want to see ivans sacrifice both haunt him and drive him to actually live his damn life after being the captured bird refusing freedom cause of mizi. once he knows she's alive with the resistance he might be able to actually experience other things and widen his world and if that happens and he puts his personal sense of rebellion towards the human cause OR settles into finding some other way to feel fulfilment that isn't a single person that could be deeply fascinating to me i think
#alien stage#ramble#idk#till alien stage#as an xxxholic fan i want to see caged birds fly and all the fear and loss and grit and progress that comes with it#till era would be so fucking fun#especially when characters r built arnd one person or one goal or something you want to see them find new things to suffer or thrive abt (?)#random inconsequential thought imagine till hooking up with hyunas besties and they become a resistance throuple#idk i just want till to experience the wider world as the one that was the most restrained by his heart AND literally#cause even compared to the other anakt kids he suffered so much in those damn buildings and labs#i wanna see him freed and what that means for ivans legacy as the person who was unseen but someone who both contributed to and desperately#tried to stop his pain and confinement no matter what#honestly the thing i wanna see most rn off the top of my head is#till coming to terms with what he knows and sees about ivan now#no matter how he feels about it i think ivan wont be forgotten that easily#i want to know whats going thru tills head rn immediately in this moment#cause this snapped him in some way and he is acutely aware of things he didnt even notice before#while handling the mizi desth thing#that he assumed was happening#if he is assumedly saved i want to see the explosion that is knowung mizi is alive#knowing ivan is dead and how ivan felt#and knowing he has a way out of the cage#because its a triple whammy#i want to see his brain exploding in real time thinking abt all these things#and what sort of person the revelations will make him become#also i want to see mizi and till have like an actual conversation cause itd be a wildcard especially right now
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natlan 5.1 was batshit insane but i won't deny cookery when i see it. last 1/3 of the archon quest is just brilliantly done in my opinion, from writing to level design to soundtrack. just genuine excellence
#sev.screams#natlan#the character centric parts were rather weak to me#ororon has an intriguing arc but i don't care enough about him to care about the arc#similarly i only felt a surface level investment with a lot of the other main cast; though funnily enough excluding citlali#she's a breath of fresh air amongst the cast and i really enjoyed her screentime#there are a lot of story decisions in this quest that i'm impressed and glad hoyo decided to take; it adds a layer of realism to natlan tha#was missing in inazuma and ultimately i believe was the reason inazuma flopped as a nation#there is real tangible weight in the things that happen in natlan; i felt moved by the story and i think that's the hallmark of a good stor#i hope in the next archon quest they don't undo or undermine these decisions in any way. they truly contributed so much to the overall tone#of the story that to remove them would be like taking the legs out from underneath it#writing aside the environmental storytelling and level design also contributed so much to crafting the atmosphere of this quest#it felt gut wrenching in a way inazuma never did. for even the briefest moment these npcs were people and you were watching them struggle#a poignant beautiful desperate struggle that i think is so incredibly human and both moving and heartbreaking to witness#also helped by the exquisite ost. hoyomix has certainly not lost their touch even with yu peng chen gone#despair hope triumph relief; all captured so wonderfully in a score i know i will be listening to for the next few weeks once it drops#i'm rambling so much but. i liked this a lot and i can only hope hoyo sticks the landing on this one#i hate having high expectations but i can't help it for this one i fear
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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So this:
Leads to this:
Which leads to this:
Which allows vecna to do this:
Right? Right………. So then this:
Leads to this:
Which leads to:
???????????????? 👀👀👀👀👀
Will has had powers.
#will has powers#no - he had powers. he probably displayed them when he got taken in to the upside down. and vecna wanted those powers. so he took them.#this also opens up to the possibility he could get them back somehow. with el it was through memories of her mom when she was born. love.#when she relived her younger self opening the gate for the first time through the power of love#so Will could get his back through strong feelings of love. just saying.#stranger things predictions#stranger things theories#byler#byler tumblr#so the cool kids can find this 😌#I HAVE ANOTHER THING TO SAY!!! Els powers are strong from negative emotions - hatred. anger. vengeance.#but they’re even more powerful from feelings of love - familial and platonic love (mama. hopper. max. etc)#so if Will did show his powers to vecna (accidentally) when he got taken then those would have been from his most common negative emotion#fear#El is anger. hatred. will is fear. anxiety.#so will will get his powers to their fullest strength only with Love. romantic love. feeling wanted. useful.#familial/friend love was something El needed in her life and she against all odds managed to find it#she got the love she desperately needed and deserved (not romantic like the Melvin’s seem to think)#will has all that in buckets. he has friends who love him. the best mom and brother anyone could wish for. but he feels unworthy of love.#feels like all the bad things that happened to him were deserved. so him receiving and accepting what he desperately needs and deserves#will fully unlock his powers - if he has them.#thank you for coming to my Ted talk
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being obsessed with yakumo is a job and baby i’ve never called in a sick day!!!!!
#nu carnival#yakumo ♡#you could not pay me to ramble this extensively about anything else#but yakumo’s trauma?? his childhood?? his growth?? his fears and insecurities and how they affect his current relationships??#his abandonment issues and jealousy and darker desires???#and how he’s so scared he’ll hurt others even though it’s far more likely he’ll be the one getting hurt??#how he’s not violent or scary at all but after years and years he’s been conditioned to think he is??#the significance of his relationship with eiden??#the significance of his ‘platonic’ relationships with the other clan members??#how important his grandparents were in raising him??#how his desperate want to hide his serpentine features and be ‘normal’ is a perfect allegory for autism??#the fact that he’s been treated horribly in the past and yet still chooses every day to be kind??#how he probably definitely has bpd??#the burden he has to carry just because of who his ancestor is??#the fact that it almost seems like what he does doesn’t matter because the actions of his ancestor will always be looming over him??#how he’s been hurt so many times both physically and emotionally and yet his heart is still so open to loving others??#how he has a tendency to push down his traumatic memories until he thinks they no longer affect him??#and how even when he’s suffering because of that trauma he would still rather suffer alone than bother someone and tell them??#how slowly but surely he’s unlearning all of the harmful ideas burned into him since his was a child??#and how he’s learning that people do love and care about him and he’s not a burden and he deserves love and care??#and that the serpentine traits he tries so desperately to hide aren’t as disgusting as he was meant to believe??#that his dark desires don’t define or control him and that it’s okay that he has them??#that just because he has them at all doesn’t make him a bad person???#why he makes soup for his loved ones so much!!!! yes that is important actually#i will sit and write about that for hours and hours for FREE#my favourite fictional character of all time he’s so so real#he’s so well written and his trauma and growth are handled with such care and consideration
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I've been rewatching Voltron
#sheith#'It's good to have you back.' 'Good to be back.'#'How many times are you gonna have to save me before all this is over?' 'As many times as it takes.'#'Shiro please...you can't do this to me again!'#'Shiro's the only person who never gave up on me. I won't give up on him.'#'His suit has the ability to create a virtual mindscape reflecting its wearer's greatest hopes and fears...'#'...And in this moment your friend desperately wants to see you.'#'The red paladin's connection to you runs deep. Deeper than the rest.'#'You found me...Keith.'#'Keith...I was dreaming. You saved me.' 'We saved each other.'#what the FUCK#I wonder if any antis will read my book and then find out I'm a Sheith shipper like *Tommy Wiseau voice* 'everyone betrayed me'
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thinking about Kavinsky, who's almost convinced himself that he's God, only realizing just how powerless he is when Proko dies and he can't do anything about it. oh, he can dream copy after copy after copy but none of them are quite right. none of them are Proko.
no matter how powerful Kavinsky is, he can never do the one thing that he wishes for the most. Proko, the real Proko, Kavinsky's Proko, is gone forever
#i've been thinking about them recently.........#rhatliarehgliuarhgulrhglurehgluhgls#can you IMAGINE how K feels?????????? his dreaming is worthless for the FIRST TIME.#K IS his dreaming; it's his defining thing; it's how he sees himself... if his dreaming is worthless then isn't Kavinsky himself worthless?#think about the longing; the desperation that increases with every failed attempt#the grief; the fear; the self-hatred- how useless is he? all these drugs; cars; a new father; and he can't bring back the most important-#person in his life. thinking that this is something he SHOULD be able to do right??? he should be able to and he wants it like he's never-#wanted anything in his life but he just keeps failing and failing and failing#do you think he cries? that he screams every time he wakes up and the dreamed copy is wrong? that he sleeps all day for the chance to do-#better next time?#do you think that he cries every time he has to kill a copy; no matter how wrong it was?#how overwhelmed by grief and horror he must be; having to kill things that look like proko over and over again#do you ever think about Kavinsky burning himself to the ground in his desperation to see his Proko again?#AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!#prokopenko#joseph kavinsky#the dream thieves#proko#the dream pack#prokopinsky#I know I'm not being very eloquent lol but just herlahlrhluahrgarheg
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ok... so Lambert x Eve...
Eve and the two Blaiddyds
Lambert and the two Fierenes
The step-siblings
@blaiddydbrokeit and I were talking, and they have now sent me down the wonderful rabbit hole that is Eve and Lambert getting married and looking after their children.
#Dimi desperately needs a good mother figure (y'know rather than his idealised image of Patricia who never really loved him and didn't pay#attention to him no matter what he says to himself (you know only having that one memory of her where she was looking out the window and ig#ring him) and then tried to murder him adn his whole family) anyway#Eve would be good for Dimi#and Lambert and Alfred and Celine would get up to all sorts of shenanigans#but also Lambert might be able to help Celine understand and overcome her fear of other's deaths#Dimitri in particular would be able to understand that fear and sympathise with her#and alfred is just having a great time with a new brother and dad because everything is awesome all the time and his old dad would have lov#d his new dad and he tells alear all about it and she's like ooh!#anyway an adorable meet the step-dad step-brother situation for the couple (you know my alflear loving heart can never resist an opportunit#anyway#other tags were originally messaged to a pal when we discussed the idea but I thought they would work under the picutres too:#crack ship or not Lambert and eve are adorable in my brain#lambert egitte blaiddyd#queen Eve#fire emblem engage#fire emblem three houses#anyway maybe in a heroes universe or something; or dimi revives Lambert using some sort of magic and then Lambert and eve meet up in a Fodl#an and Elyos meet and greet sort of ball and they become friends and then they discuss being widowed and through a long series of meet ups#realise a political marriage between them both would be good for Fodlan and Fahrgus and good for Fierene and Elyos and they're also in love#anyway they both visit each other's spouses graves on the anniversary of death#like they would both really respect their partner's deceased spouses and not be jealous at all when the other gets upset and is like#I really miss them. Because they both get it
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y'know, it probably feels weird for the scoundrel to admit, but they feel surprisingly comforted to be back on their ship for a change. they finally have control of the situation, they're finally around people they (vaguely) trust, they- wait a minute hold on what was that line
oh
oh no
oh no the horrors just keep getting worse and worse for them
#i dont think they're gonna be okay after All That. for a While.#fittingly i drew the merry gentleman card immediately after touching shore so there you go lmao#yin-thoughts#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#im weirdly enthralled by this line?? it's weirdly just. really effective#the implication that you've gone through All That over the course of weeks. idk. it's a little nightmare fuel#did you spend it with the mask on or off? does it even matter? do you even know?#ik days and weeks and the like in-universe dont really matter most of the time bc they dont really carry over#like a storylet will say 'over the next few weeks you do x' casually and you just accept that#but like. idk. something about it with the delight Specifically is sticking with me a lot.#how many times did you really go up and down those stairs. how long did you really spend staring into the distance.#how long were those birds screaming in your ears. how long was the naturalist screaming.#it's weirdly effective fringe horror on top of an already very good delightfully gory horror sequence#anyway. in conclusion i don't think the scoundrel is uh. Doing Good.#the delight scared the shit out of them. they arent the type to get scared easily. they were in autopilot fear mode for 99% of it.#they are putting that mask very very very far away on a shelf somewhere and desperately trying to forget it exists forever and ever now.#the end#scoundrelventures
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so let's be friends
#these two fuck me UP!!!!!! took me long enough to start drawing these freaks. hooouggh...#like hi. do you think about how despite treat's doubts her desperation won out and then she got tangled up in something awful with no way#out of it. do you think about how timber slowly cracked all of the rules treat's mother taught her out of love and fear for her safety.#or like. are you normal. like me (lying)#||#treat#timber#★#lwt series#lwt#lonely wolf treat#nomnomnami#//#st(art)gazing! ★#described
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omg y’all!!! i just remembered that throughout tog the Blackbeak Matron kept threatening Manon that she’ll find another heir if she doesn’t get her shit together???
why is this woman giving her more anxiety than what she already has? no wonder Manon was struggling between doing what’s right and following her grandmothers orders (grandmother wins. Every time.) she does so because she knows that if she fails at any task, her grandmother will just disown/exile her and pick someone else to be her heir which is why Manon was so wired into obeying her grandmother’s every command.
and later on in KoA
WHEN DORIAN LEFT FOR MORATH???? FOR MANON TO WAKE UP AND FIND HIM GONE LIKE THAT?????? Dorian my guy I love you so much but you’re only making Manon’s abandonment issues worse by taking off in the dead of the night like that
#booklr#books and reading#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#tog#dorian havilliard#manon x dorian#manorian#empire of storms#kingdom of ash#blackbeak matron#i just realized this now and omg the way i was ugly sobbing for my girl#she literally has no one the matron is her only parent and said parent kept threatening to ‘replace’ her like she doesn’t matter at all????#Manon is definitely a perfectionist and has this deep seated fear of disappointing her grandmother#if she’s not good enough than she will be replaced which is why she does these things without asking any questions#she tried so hard to be perfect for her grandmother but the woman never acknowledged it#then Dorian just make it worse by leaving like that#I mean Manon was so desperate to the point where she proposed just to keep him from leaving#and he still left#it kills me everytime I remember that she woke up to an empty cold bed#that hurt her so deeply im still angry at Dorian for doing it to her#she needs assurance not him just disappearing like that
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