#i so desperately needed a distraction from my fear of my ex and those miserable bastards failed to provide

[transmechanicus]

Other Gay Ppl™️ get better at maintaining a conversation please i’m begging, carrying a conversation for 5 people drained my social battery almost instantly why the fuck was i the only one asking questions and prompts, why the fuck were all of em giving bare minimum answers, i hope you explode for making me do that

[yostresswritinggirl]

Hey Exiled. I wanted to say that your fics are super amazing and as an aspiring writer, I want to be as good as you. Hope you are doing well.

Possible Trigger Warning(?)

This is for if/when your requests open up again, but imagine Xiao or Albedo with an s/o that’s being tortured and they’re forced to watch. Like they can’t do anything to save them and end up losing their s/o. (I mean for this to inflict pain as this is my favorite troupe. It can honestly work with anyone; I just chose these two boys because they are my favorites)

Today we woke up and we chose violence 🤝finally got around to working on this, I think it's about time I seriously manifest Hu Tao even tho I'm all fluffy lately ywy I love this community, you all give me the best brain juice ehehh Edit: Also also awww thank you for your kind words, sweetie, I'm sure you're already good in your own way!

Blood Money

Albedo and Xiao witness their S/O getting tortured... Blood, violence, the obvious stuff. And also death warning, read at your own risk. (masterlist)

With every punch sends nothing but painful regret into his gut.

His fragile and weak body was beaten into submission, and Albedo comes to spite himself over realizing just how useless he is without his Vision, how useless he would be with it either way. Maybe if he knew the things that would transpire, he would have taken great consideration into mastering his element.

The cloaked man pulls harshly at his ruined braid, forcing him to watch now in full attention.

He almost vomits at the sound of your bone grinding and snapping as they pull it back, your grazed throat able to let out a choked scream that sends shivers to his own body. For the first time in his whole life, tears threatened to spill as it forms at the brim of his eyes.

"Please..." the sword embedded in your side twists to deliver a seering pain, another scream forcing its way through your senseless whimpers, "Please... let them go..."

Your face was smacked flat against the floor, breathing heavy but barely there as a foot presses at the nape of your neck, placing a dangerous weight at your spine/throat as your oxygen supply starts to fade.

"That person right there is the reason your research has been stagnant," the one holding him down spoke in held fury as he chooses his words through grinded teeth, "Khaenri'ah needs its cure and you're here playing house. You ought to learn your lesson."

You're awfully silent and still. Albedo's sedated body struggles helplessly, breathe quickening as fear in its purest form bubbles within him. He gingerly calls out your name; no response, it only made the man put more pressure on your neck.

"No, please, stop. I was- I was on an expedition, in Dragonspine. I was sent by the Knights- I-I couldn't refuse..."

A swift, muffled crack makes him scream. Horrified and shocked. The tears are now that of a waterfall, sobs and cries for your name in hopes that you would respond. You didn't.

"Wrong answer."

Ever since the day Albedo comes walking into Mondstadt with your corpse cradled in his arms, not even the Knights had seen him walk out of his laboratory, dead eyes never meeting anyone's stare. The Alchemist is in grief and denial, that's what they theorized, for the reason that Albedo never once muttered anything else under his breath besides his research.

Timaeus and Sucrose, despite being apprentices and assistants, never stepped foot into his laboratory either. Banned, even. Klee too never had the chance to see him again, his laboratory was permanently locked. Perhaps he just needed time, something all the Knights thought.

"I'm almost done," and time is exactly what he wants. Even if you're nothing but a rotting corpse in his lab, he'll get to you soon enough. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I'll defy those laws for you, my love."

Xiao and the constant plague of his built up karma haunts him whether he has his eyes closed or not.

The problem with it is the fact that when it manifests, it's usually a vivid phenomenon that only he is witness to. It alarms him more than anyone of its recent manifestations, corrupting nearby Hilichurls and whole cavern of monsters, his debt is sipping and he's not sure what else it could hurt, because it can hurt anything at this point.

So when he lifts his head from his usual shackles of karmic binds, he was more than horrified to see you, his ray of hope entangled the same way. "What are you doing here-" his sudden question halts upon your pained grunt, the binds wrapped around your arms pulling in opposite directions.

The pain is slow and daunting, Xiao realized at the way your face scrunches up as it pulls more. Desperate to stop your hurting, he struggles against his own karmic binds. Yet the thousand years of burden do not relent so easily.

"Our lives are cut off because of your slaughter. What makes you think you deserve reconciliation with life after taking thousands of others?"

A bind finds its way around your throat and tightens, your grunts muffled into choking desperately for air, body writhing in an effort to pull away from all your shackles. Xiao doesn't like it, not one bit of how he struggles to break free, how powerless he feels at the current situation when he should be protecting you from harm.

"Xi..." He tugs at his left arm to angle his leg, hoping to latch it around the upper bind to pull it. What was of his composure now when his desperation and alarm is evident on his face? "X-Xiao ngh-"

Distracted from his own struggles, Xiao peels his stare away and onto your form, eye widening and moistening at the sight of red and blood forming by the junction of your arms and torso. A manifestation of the consumed festered souls summons behind your form with a wicked smile, long nails of jet black traces your flexed body while piercing at your skin as it passes.

Your struggles for air mixes in with pain raised tenfold, breathless screams for every puncture. You couldn't even look at him anymore. "Please," the Yaksha cries out in his most vulnerable, "Stop hurting them. Please... This is between you and me..."

"If you want us to stop,

then you'll have to stop too."

In the domain of his mind, only those that lingers, that should linger are the thousands of devoured, demonic souls that make up his debt. There is no room for anything else. Xiao hangs his head low and there he weeps in silence in a place where he is not a weapon, only a man reminiscent of his youngness and naivety.

Here he is no Xiao.

Here he is Alatus.

They smile.

"Xiao?" You wave your hand by his face, snapping your fingers (and failed miserably) enough times for him to finally zone out of his sudden trance in the middle of your comversation. "Is something wrong?" Your confused expression is different from his steeled, yet wide eyed one.

And without a word, he vanished from your sight. A look over his shoulder, of regret and hurt, was the last of your memory of him. In his eyes you are dead to him; in his mind your light has no place in it.

I have realized I do not want to scar you that much. Ironically. Asks spam after this so turn your notifs off after.

@primogenshin @xiaophilia @bunniesrorange @anormalguyreader @scarletroseneko @albaedhoe @xiaophilia @heisenwurst @childe-simp-exe @moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @director-boo-tao @nonniechan @creation-magician @hanniejji @gojos-baby @just-some-stars @volleybloop @tartuu

[grimmseye]

Tend to end up bent and broken

(Read on Ao3)

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast (Juno Steel)

Relationships: Juno Steel/Peter Nureyev, Carte Blanche Crew & Juno Steel (I could tag all of them individually but this is faster) Carte Blanche Crew as Family

Characters: Juno Steel, Rita, Peter Nureyev, Buddy Aurinko, Jet Sikuliaq, Vespa Ilkay

Warnings/Tags: Canon-typical Violence, Non-consensual Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, The crew loves Juno so much

Prompt from @blue-mood-blue​ for the February whump promts! Mind Control & Hallucinations.

----------------

They found Juno in a rudimentary medical bay, guarded by two goons who fell clutching their newly-slit throats.

Ransom had discarded his usual flourish. He and Vespa wielded the same violence as they sliced through flesh and sinew. As the pair that was most often at odds, it would have been a marvel to see them in tandem — but, Jet was distracted. The only force that could bring those two into sync was a threat to one of their own, and Jet did not have the capacity to marvel.

Juno was laid on a metal table that looked more suited to holding a corpse than a breathing body. For a moment that stilled Jet’s heart, he appeared to be just that: gray, still, and lifeless. Then he caught just the barest hitch of his chest, and he could move again. He kicked a dying guard aside to make room at the doors, he and Buddy both flanking the exit with their blasters in hand.

Ransom was the first to reach him. These were the moments that felt most sincere from the thief, though again, Jet had no capacity for such a thought. Only in retrospect would he realize that he only felt he understood the man called Peter Ransom when he choked out “Juno,” with the terror of something far worse than death.

Juno didn’t respond to his call. Vespa was ashen-faced and all business as she moved to him, fishing supplies out of her pack. She clipped something over his finger, which read out to her comms. “Pulse and blood pressure are spiked,” she announced, voice hurried as she touched the back of her hand to his forehead. “Sweating, feverish. Accelerated breathing.” Swapping away from a doctor’s tone, she rasped, “Steel, you in there?”

The only response was a soft, choking groan, a sound that made Jet’s heart stutter. Juno Steel made his discomfort known to the world, with shouts or complaints or curses. Getting stabbed by Vespa Ilkay had been met with his griping, and that was how Jet was sure he was fine. Silence was reserved for the worst of times. And as Vespa inspected his unseeing eye, as Ransom clung to his hand, he laid in silence.

It was broken by Rita’s growing distress, her breathing getting quick and short, bordering into panic. “Is - is - is Mistah Steel gonna die?” She hiccuped.

Ransom tensed. Vespa gritted her teeth. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Something’s wrong with him, but without my lab —” She cut off with a growl.

“Rita, come here,” Ransom called, extending one hand to his side. She ran to him, hugging him around the waist before grabbing onto that hand and clinging in a crushing grip. For a moment, Jet could not parse between his jealousy and his gratitude for the thief who provided what he himself could not.

Vespa ran her hands over Juno’s body, examining as best she could without stripping him. The shirt was pulled up, hands flying over his stomach, his back. “No bleeding,” she reported. “No signs of trauma at all but I’ll need a scan to be sure.” She rolled up his sleeves, and that was when she cursed.

Buddy straightened up. “Vespa?” In a single word, her illusion of composure cracked — the determined set to her face and the fire in her eyes taking a backseat to a quivering voice. She cleared her throat, steady again as she said, “What did you find?”

“Puncture mark,” Vespa reported. “Sloppy work, too. They definitely weren’t drawing blood — something was injected.” She pulled in a breath and then rounded on a nearby table. She was practically throwing anything that wouldn’t shatter on impact as she began rifling through its contents. “You two!” She snapped, rounding on Rita and Ransom, “quit sniveling and help me search. A syringe, a bag, a bottle, whatever looks right, we need a sample of what the hell they put in him.”

“We can’t stay long, darling,” Buddy reminded her, sounding like she hated the taste of each word.

Vespa sneered, looking like she wanted to argue before just biting out, “Fine. If we can’t find it in two minutes, we run. So hurry.”

The three of them tore the room apart, emptying tables, drawers, and cabinets like they had a vendetta against the very furniture. At last, it was Rita who came up brandishing a bottle, a tiny glass thing that stood hardly an inch high with the kind of cap you could feed a needle through. “Found something!” She gasped, waving it in Vespa’s face. “There was a shot right next to it!”

Vespa grabbed it, scanning the label. “I… I don’t recognize this,” she admitted, voice strained. “But we’re outta time, and it’s we’ve got. Sikuliaq, grab Steel. Let’s go.”

“I can take him,” Ransom started, for Vespa to round on him with a snarl.

“I don’t have time for your theatrics. Shut up and listen.”

“But —“

“Ransom.” Buddy’s voice was cold and final. “Vespa is right. Jet, you carry Juno. Ransom, you’re leading the way out of here — you’ve the best memory of all of us. I’ll take up the rear and cover us. Now go.”

Jet took just enough time to be delicate as he hoisted Juno up into his arms. Juno was panting and whimpering, head lolling against Jet’s chest. Nausea twisted in his stomach, but he tamped it down. No time. Ransom led the way, the rest of them falling into line as they raced for the Ruby 7. Anyone who got in their way met their end by a laser or a knife, Juno’s hurt turning them ruthlessly efficient. Every cut and every shot was vengeful, fueled by the knowledge that Juno needed help , and damned was every soul that would slow them down.

They left a trail of bodies in their wake as they fell into the car, Ransom taking the wheel and peeling out through the atmosphere of Haros. There, laid in Jet’s lap and flanked by Rita and Vespa, Juno started to mumble.

Rita gasped, “Mistah Steel! Mistah Steel you’re gonna be okay, we’re almost home, okay, just hold on a little longer, okay, boss?”

Juno’s lips moved, voice rasping in his throat. Jet had to strain to hear it, though it was only the same sound, over and over: “Where's Ben?”

Jet frowned. The name felt familiar, somehow. He looked up to the rearview, catching Buddy’s eye through the reflection, a question in her gaze. “He said, where’s Ben.”

Buddy’s eye widened. She started, voice hesitant, “That’s…”

“That’s Mistah Steel’s twin brother,” Rita said, voice soft.

And then Jet remembered, as Ransom’s breath hitched, as Buddy’s eye squeezed shut. Looking up Juno Steel had brought them a number of interesting headlines. Some were harder to find, took digging and lacked names — a mugging of the president of Venus, the successful robbery of the Utgard express. Others spelled out JUNO STEEL in capital letters, over photos of two near-identical faces, one bright with a smile, the other fixed in a scowl. Ex-Writer of Northstar Entertainment Sarah Steel Confesses to the Murder of her Own Son: Twin Brother Left Alone.

He remembered he had laughed, and the memory made him sick. Both of them had. It was absurd, just one more piece of bloody drama in a galaxy still ravaged by war, something so petty and unbelievable that it bubbled into humor. An entertainment star got fired for stealing her coworker’s project, and years later turned a gun on her child. Today, his twin laid limp in Jet’s lap, calling for his brother.

His vision blurred. Jet didn’t stop his tears, nor did Rita. They listened in shivering silence to that repeated call, where’s Ben? Where’s Benzaiten? Each grew more desperate, cracking with fear. His eye flickered sightlessly over the roof of the car as it rolled in its socket.

It wasn’t until he’d taken a fistful of Jet’s shirt that he realized Juno had finally focused, and was looking at him, even with that feverish glint in his eye. “I can count on Jack,” he rasped. It was miserable, pleading, more a question than a statement though he needed it to be true.

Before he left the lighthouse, Juno had asked them about Jack Takano. He claimed to not have heard of him, the creator of Chainmail Warrior Andromeda. And then there was Sarah Steel, fired from Northstar Entertainment for stealing her partner’s plans. The pieces started to fall into place, forming not a picture but a concept, a web of names and feelings and blood, and at its center was Juno Steel, tears streaking his face as he tugged at Jet’s shirt, crying, “Where's Benten?!”

“Do something,” Ransom gritted out. His voice shook. Buddy put a hand over his where he was white-knuckling the wheel.

“We’re almost home, Pete,” she breathed. “Eyes forward. Almost there.”

Vespa crowded against Jet, leaning over into Juno’s line of vision. “Hey,” she called. Vespa wasn’t known for her bedside manner, but all of them had heard how gentle she could be when something real was weighing on them. When Jet started trembling in a warehouse filled with laced needles, when Rita for the first time had taken a life, when a mission had cut too close and Buddy’s knees gave out with the relief of finding her family alive, Vespa put a hand on their quaking shoulders and went hey, hey so soft that you almost couldn’t believe it was her at all.

Here, she ran a cloth over Juno’s brow, then his cheeks. “Ben’s fine, Juno,” she told him. When Rita opened her mouth, Vespa bared her teeth to keep her silent. She settled, and Vespa returned her attention to her patient, murmuring, “Just sit tight, we’re almost home.”

His foggy eye found Vespa’s face. “Don’t hurt him,” he begged. “It was me — it’s m-my fault, don’t hurt him, Ma.”

Vespa’s face was stricken. Her voice wobbled as she ran fingers through his hair. “No one’s in trouble. No ones gonna hurt Ben or you, alright? We’re safe when we’re home. Promise.”

“Promise?” He gasped. His hand loosened from Jet’s shirt, groping for Vespa. When she let him find her fingers, Juno twisted their pinkies together. “Promise,” he repeated, softer. And finally, he relaxed, eye drifting shut, hitching breaths going slow and deep.

Vespa panted. She blinked, hard, then swiped viciously at her eyes. “Damn it,” she growled. “He’s — He's fine. Just finally fell asleep.”

In the front seat, Buddy leaned against the window of the Ruby 7, her face hidden in one hand.

“It’s a hallucinogenic drug,” Vespa reported, once she had Juno set up in the med bay and could tear through her books. “Uncommon in solar planets, I can’t find any clinical studies on the stuff. Word of mouth suggests that the hallucinations tend to be linked to…” She drew a breath, sighed, and bit out, “Memories. Usually ones associated with fear.”

Nureyev bit back a scoff. They had already gathered that much. He kept his grip on Juno’s hand, though Juno was completely unaware. He’d been sliding in and out of consciousness, and what time he spent awake was spent in tears, calling for his brother.

Vespa had hooked him to a saline drip — somewhere between the tears and the drug, he’d need it. She said, “There’s no notes on interactions, so if we can avoid sedating him, we better. Just keep him hydrated and let his liver take care of the rest. I’m gonna make a few calls, see if I can find anyone with clinical experience.”

“Thank you, Vespa,” Buddy sighed. The captain looked wrung out, carding her fingers through Juno’s hair while he rested. “We should keep two people with him at all times, just in case.”

She volunteered herself at the same time as three others — only Vespa, busy with her comms, hadn’t spoken up.

A weary amusement tweaked her lips. “Well then. Jet, darling? Would you mind fixing us a quick dinner? It seems we’re camping in the med bay tonight.”

He looked reluctant, but jerked his chin in a nod. “What should I bring for you, Buddy?”

“The rum in the cabinet will suffice,” Buddy said, giving him a pat and a kiss on the cheek as he passed. “Thank you, dearest one.”

Vespa grumbled about it as they stole blankets and pillows from their rooms to fix the beds into something comfortable. Several ended up shoved together. Vespa looked like she was ready to strangle him with her stethoscope, so Nureyev kept his bed separate from Juno’s and beside Rita’s instead. Rita passed out headphones so they could watch a stream together without waking Juno, and they ate to the sounds of a werewolf and her hunter falling in love, seated in hospital beds and surrounding their unconscious detective.

Nureyev couldn’t tear his eyes away from Juno. He wasn’t even peaceful in his sleep, face pinching against unseen nightmares, shivers wracking his body as the drug curdled through his veins. He wanted to be there. Wanted to hold him, and kiss him, and chase every bad memory away. He wanted to hunt down every person who had ever hurt him — Sarah Steel and Diamond and the brutes at the HCPD. He could take comfort, at least, in knowing Buddy’s next heist would be finding the one who decided to hold their detective for ransom, and teaching them exactly what the family did to those who hurt their own.

If Juno didn’t want to be the one to kill him, Nureyev would beg for the privilege.

He slept fitfully, and woke just past midnight to the sound of Juno wailing. He bolted upright with the others, the room flying into movement. It wasn’t a sound he’d ever heard before, not physical pain but something far deeper . Juno pressed his face into his knees and screamed and sobbed, and the name on his lips was Benzaiten.

They tried to comfort him. Buddy’s hand made him shriek, grief turning to rage as he swung at her. “Get away from him!” He screamed. “Don’t fucking touch him, I’ll kill you, I swear to god I’ll kill you —”

But he didn’t chase her as Jet hauled Buddy away, just dissolved into tears. He was grieving his brother all over again, clutching at a body that wasn’t there.

Nureyev knew by looking at Rita that she had seen this before. There wasn’t the shock in her face, just tears. She slid to the ground, padding towards Juno’s bedside with a whimper of, “Mistah Steel?”

“Don’t —” Vespa warned.

But Juno lifted his head, blindly searching until his gaze landed on her. “Rita,” he choked out, and when she clambered onto his bed, he pulled her close, hugging her painfully tight. She blinked her tears down her face and hugged him, letting Juno sob into her shoulder. “He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone…”

“I know,” she whispered, voice cracking. Sobs hitched up her throat. “I know you’re hurting, boss. But I’m right here. And I ain’t going nowhere.”

Juno hadn’t recovered by morning. Buddy reluctantly ordered the functioning crew back to work, leaving Ransom and Rita to keep watch. Both of them would be useless while Juno was in this state.

It was easier, regardless, to keep out of their sight. Jet and Vespa had both seen her cry too many times to count, and when she found tears welling up throughout the morning, they knew to let her be. Jet pulled her into a hug, once. Later, Vespa pulled her into a kiss.

“You holding up alright?” She asked, stroking a thumb beneath Buddy’s eye.

She’d spent the night coaching herself for this, and the answer came easily to her lips. “Well enough to keep the ship ship-shape,” she asserted, lifting her chin. Confidence, Aurinko, she reminded herself. Even in the face of disaster you must maintain confidence.

Vespa saw through it, but only gave a thin smile. She rested her head on Buddy’s shoulder, an arm draping over the other. “It’s freaky, isn’t it? Seeing him all… broken.”

Juno had grown on Vespa in the months since their crash. The two still bickered something awful, but lately they’d been using their words before it could spiral out of control. More often than not these days, their arguments felt more like jabs between old friends than anything cruel.

Juno had grown on all of them, frankly. Within a day, Buddy had found herself fond of him. Maybe it was that he’d refused to harm her Vespa, coloring his actions in rose. And then he’d stuck around, after being stabbed and offered no reimbursement, walked with her into the metaphorical lion’s den and complained the entire way there and back. By the time he left for Hyperion City, she was truly hoping that he would give her that call.

After several long moments, she found her words. “It feels rather voyeuristic, all things considered,” Buddy said, and cursed herself as her voice wobbled. She hesitated, before adding, “I looked into all my candidates as best I could. I knew about most of this, on a surface level. Once I met him… once I started to like him… then it just felt sick. I betrayed his privacy before I even knew him, pulled up all his scars and opened them up so I could see how he bleeds —”

“Hey, hey,” Vespa hushed, straightening up to push their foreheads together. “We’ve all got our reputations. Well, most of us.” Her lips twisted, and Buddy found a laugh bubbling in her chest. “You know Sikuliaq was scared shitless of Steel learning who he was at first. And Ransom knows a freaky amount about us both —”

“He’s a fan, darling,” Buddy reminded her, tittering now as Vespa rolled her eyes and grumbled. She rubbed at her own eye, thankful she hadn’t bothered with makeup today; she’d look like a plutonian marmoset by now.

For just a moment, Buddy felt like she could breath. Her mechanical heart was steady. Her love was in her arms. Her family was wounded, but they would recover.

Then she heard Rita scream.

The crash that followed had Vespa bolting across the ship before Buddy could even get to her feet. Through the walls, Ransom was shouting, “Juno! Please, stop — AH!”

Vespa slammed her hand on the lock, the door snapping open. Inside, Ransom had his arms around Juno’s middle, holding him from behind. Juno clawed at him like an animal, lines of blood raked into Ransom’s cheek. Rita was on the ground, glasses askew and eyes wide behind them.

“Let go of me,” Juno snarled. He caught Ransom in the eye, and as the man reeled from it, broke free. Instantly Juno was twisting, ignoring Vespa and Buddy in the doorway and instead lunging for Rita.

She shrieked his name, scrambling out of the way as he dove to the floor. He crashed into one of the beds, flipped over, and grabbed her by the ankle for a moment before she kicked him in the face. As he cried out and clutched his eye, she shoved herself to her feet. “Mistah Steel, please!”

He grunted, shook his head once before it snapped up again. “Acquire Target: Rita.”

It wasn’t a sound she’d ever heard from his mouth, toneless and dangerous and coupled with a fire in his eyes. Buddy shouted, “Rita, over here!” She hoisted her blaster, careful to set it to stun before pointing it at Juno’s chest, “Stand down! I do not want to hurt you, Juno, please.”

Rita scrambled for them, hiding behind her legs. “It’s not his fault, Captain,” she cried, “He’s acting like he did way back then with all the Theia chips and he thinks he’s gotta get me and —”

None of it made sense to Buddy. It didn’t matter. She knew Juno wouldn’t ever lift a hand against Rita, but here he was, standing to flash her a look so cold and so calculating she wasn’t sure she was even looking at Juno Steel at all.

“Put down your weapon,” he intoned. “I do not wish to hurt you. Net good of: capture Target: Rita and bring peace to the galaxy is greater than net evil of: use of lethal force to incapacitate Buddy Aurinko —”

His voice halted, eye glazing over again. “Buddy — Buddy —” Like a glitched recording, repeating itself infinitely.

Ransom jumped him. Buddy tensed — she had nearly forgotten he was there, but suddenly he had Juno on the floor and was pulling ties around his wrists. Juno broke from his reverie, roaring in frustration and thrashing beneath Ransom, so violently that Buddy worried he’d crack his own skull just to break free.

“I’m sorry, love,” he whispered, sounding like each moment of this was genuine agony, like it ate him alive to do this. It likely did — Buddy felt her heart squeeze and jump at the sight of Juno bucking like a rabid animal, straining dangerously at his restraints.

Vespa slid past Buddy, yanking open a drawer and producing a syringe from it, already full. She uncapped its needle and turned. “Hold him down,” she instructed Ransom, who flinched from the thought. But he obeyed, putting his weight down on Juno to keep him still as Vespa fed the needle under his skin, pushing something clear into his veins. “Sedative,” she said, and sure enough Juno was already weakening in his struggles. “We’re gonna have to monitor him for any interactions but we can’t — we can’t deal with him like this.”

Ransom stared at Juno as his strength drained to feeble squirming, Buddy’s own horror reflected in his face. Slowly, so slowly, Juno went still.

Rita was shivering behind her. “Is he gonna be okay?” She whimpered.

“Yes… I thought that sort of thing was a delicate calculation,” Ransom said, shooting a look at Vespa.

Buddy grimaced, tamping down the urge to snap. “I imagine you would feel less stressed if you trusted the doctor’s years of schooling and field experience, Ransom. Especially considering you’ve none of your own. When you are incapable of relying on yourself, it is helpful to rely on another.”

He looked appropriately cowed by her words. Vespa snorted. “I’ve got one of those for everyone: a safe dose that can knock you out if we need it, all measured out ahead of time. This one was labelled for Steel.”

Ransom frowned. “That is… an odd contingency.” He knelt down to gather Juno up into his arms and lift him into the bed.

Vespa’s eyes flashed. “You like to have ten escape routes on every heist. I like to have my contingencies.”

“I think that’s quite enough,” Buddy said. “Rita, are you alright? Things sounded rather exciting before we got here.”

“Uhm.” Her voice was small. She cradled her arm, where Buddy could see now it was wet with blood, likely cut in the fall. Before Buddy could call her over, Vespa was already at Rita’s side, tugging her to sit up on the bed.

“Speak up next time,” Vespa sneered. Her voice was gruff — guilt, Buddy recognized, that she had forgotten about Rita. “That’s gonna need stitches. What the hell was going on with him... “ She trailed off from her muttering, then cleared her throat. “You, uh, wanna watch something while I get to work?”

Rita gave a shaky exhale. “That’s a good idea, Miss Vespa. And, um. Don’t be mad at Mistah Steel, okay? It ain’t his fault. Some bots made him think things he didn’t really think and he only did it cause it was my idea and he almost scrambled himself because of me —”

“Rita,” Buddy soothed, sitting beside her. “This isn’t either of your faults. For now — Ransom, could you get Rita’s comms?”

Unsurprisingly, he looked displeased by the request. Still, Ransom only gave Juno a sad, lingering look, and then slipped from the room.

When he returned, it was with Jet in tow, hair rumpled from an interrupted nap. Blood drained from his face at the sight of Rita’s cut. Though it was cleaned of blood, it was a messy wound, deep and jagged. Buddy herself felt rather sick at the image of it. Rita was the least likely of them to get injured during a mission; to see her in such a state was disconcerting.

She was a strong one, though, and Jet’s questions about a stream kept her distracted as Vespa stitched it shut. Juno was going to beat himself up over that for a long time to come. Buddy frowned, looking to him in his bed. She found Ransom there, once again glued to his side with worry dark in his eyes.

Another day of getting nothing done, then. Buddy drew a breath and heaved a sigh, settling into one of the beds and pulling out her own comms. She could at least get started on their next mission. Revenge wasn’t something she’d planned before, but she was willing to try most anything once.

Juno’s head was pounding when he woke. It wasn’t the first time he’d greeted the day like this, but the first in a long time. For a long while, he was wracking his brain to figure out what had made him hit the liquor cabinet this hard. A mission gone horrifically wrong? Someone hurt? His fault?

He was reluctant, but he opened his eyes. The med bay was dark, illuminated only by the machines that surrounded the bed. His bed. A monitor pulsed steadily with his heartbeat. An IV fed into his arm. And worst of all, the place was full, every single bed occupied.

For a terrifying moment, Juno thought the entire crew had been hurt, images of crashes or falls, frantically searching for the monitor that would tell him who was alive and who he had lost.

Then he realized that their beds weren’t wired up with the same equipment as his. Buddy and Vespa were curled in each other’s arms. Rita and Jet had fallen asleep sitting up, slumped into each other. Nureyev dozed on his back, limbs splayed out at odd angles.

Juno tried to push himself up, grunting as his skull only throbbed in protest. Blankets fell away from his chest, and for a moment he was the only one awake, surrounded by his sleeping family.

Then Nureyev shifted. His eyes opened, bleary at first but flooding with clarity. “Juno —!” He caught his voice just a beat too late, loud enough to wake their lighter sleepers.

“Steel?” Vespa grunted. She squinted at him in the dark. “You with us?”

“Uh…” That wasn’t a good question. “... Yeah. Was I… not?”

Her expression was grim. He looked over to find Nureyev’s painfully soft. Already he was moving into Juno’s bed, gathering him up in his arms. “You don’t remember it, then?” Nureyev asked.

“Remember —” He frowned. Old grief stirred in his chest, something stiff and quiet but still very much alive. Something fresher, twitching muscles, impulse he couldn’t deny. “Oh. K—kinda. What was going on?”

They told him. He didn’t like what he heard. Halfway through Vespa’s explanation, Rita bolted awake and into his lap, and at least then he could worry more about getting her to breathe than what he’d apparently been doing since the crew rescued him. He didn’t have time to feel humiliated about crying for a day and then some when Rita was busy bawling into his chest.

By its end his insides had been dosed with a cocktail of embarrassment, shame, and grief, topped with an old-fashioned garnish of crippling guilt. But no matter how he felt like he didn’t deserve to touch Rita, she was intent on holding fast. So he rubbed her back and let Nureyev pet his hair, giving them all an incredulous look as he said, “You know, I don’t think I needed a five-person security detail. Pretty sure the big guy could handle me no problem so long as I can’t get a gun or a sharp object or something.”

“I could, yes,” Jet nodded. “But the point was not security. Unless you mean emotional security, and you do not mean your own.”

He blinked. “What?”

“We were worried about you,” Buddy explained, snorting. “Is that so strange to you? With how many times you’ve woken up in a hospital bed in your life, you must have had someone weeping over your unconscious body at least once before.”

He glanced at Rita. “Yeah, but it’s not like I was gonna croak in the night this time, was — ow!”

A pen bounced off his temple. Vespa glowered at him. “Don’t go getting a big head about it,” she grumbled, clambering out of the bed against Buddy’s playful resistance. She pulled a lab coat over her pajamas, and Juno paused as he tracked the movement with his eye.

“Your pajamas have little kitties on them,” Juno blurted.

She stopped. Even by just the light of the machinery, he saw her ears redden.

“Well, seems we have our detective back at least,” Buddy lilted. “His filter is functioning precisely as it did before: not at all and actively working against him.”

Rita stifled a giggle against his sternum. Nureyev followed, a low chuckle that was picked up by Jet, then Buddy, until Vespa scoffed and grumbled as she flicked on the lights.

And even if Vespa definitely stuck him too hard with the needle, she still couldn’t deny that she had been right there with the rest of them as they waited for Juno to wake.

[let-it-raines]

your wonder under summer skies (5/?)

Summer in Storybrooke, Maine means one thing for its residents: tourist season. This year, for Emma Swan and Killian Jones, it means relationships ending and friendships changing all the while they attempt to figure out just what their relationship is. It’s somewhere straddling the line between friends and lovers, and there’s no guarantee of a soft landing if they fall into new territory.

rating: mature

a/n: thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading over these words ❤️

And to everyone else, happy Friday! You’ve made it through another week!

ao3: beginning | current

tumblr:  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 

-/-

“Where are you going?”

Emma twists her head to the side and tugs her comforter up to her chest. “To get some water.”

“I wore you out then, did I?”

Emma groans and tries to get out of bed before Killian’s hands wrap around her waist and tug her back. His lips press against the back of her neck, scruff scratching against skin, and she melts into the feeling of it.

Almost.

“Wait, wait,” she interrupts, pulling away from him and twisting in the bed until she’s back on her side and facing him. He’s got red pillow creases all across his face, and he desperately needs to fix his hair. It’s a mess. They probably both are. “We need to talk.”

His eyes flutter closed before his lips spread into a smile. “I’ve found when a woman says that I’m rarely in for a pleasant conversation.”

Emma swallows and pulls the comforter up a little higher. She doesn’t know how well this is going to go, but it’s been on her mind pretty much every other minute for the past week. Well, besides when she wants to pull her hair out over the insane specificities that her boss is giving her for every event they’ve got on the books. A regular Tuesday night dinner with twenty people does not need to be the most well thought out dinner in the history of dinners, but no one seems to understand that.

A part of her almost misses waitressing, but then she remembers the pay and how shitty people are to waitstaff.

“We need to make rules,” Emma blurts out. She’s got to bite the bullet or else she’ll never do it.

Both of Killian’s brows raise at that. “Rules?”

“Yeah, about this.” She motions between the two of them. “I don’t – hell, Killian, we’ve kind of fallen into…”

“Bed?” he laughs, his lips ticking up into a broad smile.

“Shut up.”

“What? It’s the truth.”

“I know, but I – look, we’re friends, right?”

“Aye.” He nods and sits up as the sheets fall down to his waist and she’s only slightly distracted by the dip in his collarbone and the way the ink on his shoulder stretches across his skin. “To be quite frank, you’ve somehow wormed your way into being my closest mate.”

“Your closest mate who you’ve now been sleeping with for, like, a week, and not to be too emotionally aware since that is not my expertise, but I feel like that’s going to blow up in our faces at some point since we’re not really talking about it.”

Whew. She got that out. That was the hard part, right?

“Ah, so you want to make rules?”

“Exactly.”

Killian clicks his tongue and points between them. “If we make rules, Swan, it means we’re continuing this. Do you want to continue this?”

God, yes.

“I mean, I feel like it could be beneficial to both of us.”

“How so?”

He knows exactly what she’s trying to say, but the asshole is going to make her say it. Maybe she didn’t get the hard part over. “I’m not looking for a relationship,” Emma starts, “and I assume you’re not either.”

“I’m not,” he confirms.

“So why don’t we continue this? No strings attached. I don’t have to be some poor, heartbroken woman as my ex walks around with the woman he cheated on me with without a care in the world, and you don’t have to find one of your women for the summer. I can be that for you.”

Killian hums and scratches behind his ear before tilting his head to the side. The light from outside is hitting his eyes so that the blue is even brighter than usual, and a shiver runs down her spine as he stares at her.

This is weird but good.

“Rule one would have to be that we don’t let sleeping together get in the way of our friendship,” Killian starts, holding a finger up. “I can’t stay sane without having you to vent to about customers and Liam and also Will purposely not restocking my rum at the bar.”

Emma huffs. “I can’t stay sane without middle of the night slushie runs and runs with Skipper.”

“So, we agree on that then? Our friendship comes first.”

“Absolutely.”

“And we’re both fully aware that the both of us are using each other for sex, correct?”

“Well, don’t put it like that.”

“Why?” he laughs. “That’s exactly what we’re doing.”

“Yeah, but if you put it that way, it makes it sound absolutely dirty.”

“Dirty, huh?” Killian shifts in the bed and moves over toward her. Emma falls back onto the mattress while Killian climbs over her until he’s caging her in and staring down at her with those blue, blue eyes. This shouldn’t feel so damn good, but it does. “I can show you dirty, darling.”

“I think you’re changing the subject.”

“We were talking about sex.” He leans down and nestles his chin into her neck until his teeth tug at her skin, quickly soothing the spot with his tongue. “I’m simply changing it from talk to the act.”

“We have to finish our conversation,” she protests, falsely, as her nails scratch down his back. He groans, and Emma can’t say she minds the sound.

“There will be plenty of time for your lovely little rules later. I can assure you I will listen to them and follow them and do every little thing you ask of me. That’s the benefit of sleeping with a friend who is accustomed to listening to you.”

Emma’s hips arch up into his, and she gulps down as heat licks along her skin and curls between her thighs. He’s more addicting than he has any right to be, and she could definitely get used to a no strings attached kind of situation like this.

Friends with benefits.

She never thought she’d be the type of girl to do that, but it was probably because the situation hadn’t presented itself yet. It obviously has now.

She didn’t have the right friends, apparently.

“You’re a bad influence.”

“I never claimed to be otherwise,” he whispers into her ear, his voice soft before becoming gritty, almost in a blink of an eye. “Now wrap your legs around me. I prefer to do more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back than spending my time talking.”

“I feel like nothing has ever stopped you from talking before.” “Well, if my mouth is otherwise occupied, it does become a challenge. But, you know, I do love a challenge.”

-/-

Killian Jones: Rule #2. We don’t tell any of our friends.

Emma Swan: Agreed. They would lose their shit.

Killian Jones: Liam and David would join forces to keep us both locked in our apartments.

Emma Swan: David would at least give me food and water. Liam might leave you hanging.

Killian Jones: I’d somehow find a way to get Skipper to bring me food. Or you could find a way to send me something.

Emma Swan: It’d be the least I could do.

“What are you doing?”

Emma hits the button on the side of her phone and stuffs it in her back pocket. “I was checking our schedule for today.”

Mary Margaret tilts her head. “We’ve got the Silver Club’s luncheon at noon, a group information session at three, and then we have the Welcome Dinner tonight. How did you forget that? We’ve been planning this for months.”

“I didn’t forget,” Emma lies as she stands from the chair. “I was double-checking the times.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just want everything to go well, you know?”

“Emma.” Mary Margaret walks closer and leans against the wall next to Emma. “You just ended a long, serious relationship. It’s okay to not be okay. You’ve been frazzled, and I don’t mind picking up any of the slack that you need me to pick up.”

“I’m fine,” Emma lies. “I am not at all upset about Neal. I just want to, you know…”

“You want to what?”

Emma puts her hands in front of her chest and pushes forward. “I want to push past it, shove it away.” “Of course, of course.” Mary Margaret’s ballet flat scuffs against the hardwood. “I always thought you two were good together. There’s not a chance that – ”

“Fuck no,” Emma laughs even as she wishes she could be anywhere but here. “I mean, we had our good moments, but I’ve been through too much shit to stay with him. I think for the first time I – you know what, never mind, it’s not important. Let’s get back to the dinner. Do you think it’s going to go well?” Super smooth subject change there, Emma. Mary Margaret definitely didn’t notice it at all.

Mary Margaret sighs and wraps her arm around Emma’s shoulder. “It always goes well. You’re good at this. You’ve got to know that by now.”

“I pretty much live in constant fear that Regina is going to fire me because someone is unhappy with a color scheme or because a kid is going to tell their parent we didn’t have the right kind of lemonade and then the parent decides to take rare interest in their kid for once just to make my life miserable.”

“Yeah, I live in constant fear of that, too. Those parents are scary.”

“How many are coming to the information session?”

“Ten new couples, three returning who want an update, and then we’ve got forty kids already signed up to stay in the kids’ club all summer.”

Emma lets out a low whistle. “Ashley and Aurora are going to lose their minds if we don’t get the part-time hires on board.”

“Or if we don’t help them out more than on the excursions.”

She hums and opens up the door out of her office. “I’m too busy dealing with whiny, privileged adults complaining about how the pool isn’t the right temperature.”

“You’re right. It’s such a hard life.”

Emma snickers. “Maybe we’re not meant for this job.”

“Probably not, but you prefer this to waitressing, right?”

“Oh hell yes. I will not go back to that and sleeping on your couch. You were the best for taking me in since I was pretty much a walking human disaster, but there will be no more sleeping on your couch. I like having my own bed and being able to eat food other than kitchen leftovers.”

“I do miss you on my couch, though. Lots of good talks. And my hair was long then, and you were the best at braiding it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Emma laughs. She takes a deep breath, letting a little bit of the heaviness on her chest evaporate. Mary Margaret pushes her a hell of a lot, but sometimes she does know when to step back. “I know you do. Now come on, let’s go make sure that there are no pink linens or Mrs. Rose will absolutely lose her shit.” “And we wouldn’t want that, would we?”

“Oh, I would, but like I said, I also like my job.”

“Then no pink linens it is.”

-/-

“How did I know I’d find you here?”

Emma’s heartbeat picks up at the familiar voice, and she looks up from her spot to see Killian walking down the beach toward her.

“Because Mary Margaret probably told you.”

“Damn, I’ve been found out.” He takes a few more steps until he’s sliding down onto the lounge chair next to her and handing her a slushie. “Because they melted the other night.”

Her cheeks heat at the thought, and she’s got to stop doing that. They are adults sleeping together, and there’s no need for her to feel weird about that. It’s a little weird talking about it somewhere other than a bedroom or over text, though. Yeah, that’s why his reference made her cheeks flush. That’s the only reason.

“Thank you.” She takes quick sip. “Is there tequila in this?”

“I thought you could use it after your Welcome Dinner. I know that’s hell every year.”

“Oh my God, yes,” Emma groans. “It was the worst. I swear it’s more people every year, and they all show up thinking this is going to be like that episode of Mrs. Maisel where they show up at the summer camp and never have to lift a finger. I mean, to the point where I would be putting their food in their mouths, which I am not going to do.”

“Isn’t that kind of what this is?”

Emma glares at him, but Killian not-so-slyly takes a sip of his drink and avoids her stare.

That was smart of him because she’s just exhausted enough to want to slap him for being a smart ass.

“No. We’re not a resort. They just come to the club for meals and parties and leave their kids with us all day. They ask us where they can rent or keep their boats, and I obviously only recommend you, and then they have to go home to their own homes or rentals at the end of the day where I have nothing to do with them or what they ear.”

“Oh, yeah, totally different than it being a resort.”

“Shut up,” Emma chuckles as she drinks her slushie. She’s going to have to run in the morning to work off all of the food she’s been eating today. She had so many of the cookies before they went out to the tables. “It is different. I’m just at their beck and call for half of the day. I would lose my mind if I had to do more.”

“A job’s a job.”

“And when you’re not qualified to do much else…”

Killian kicks his leg out in the sand toward her. “If things don’t work out for you, you can come work for me.”

Emma sputters out a laugh. “Liam would never in a million years let me work with you guys.”

“Oh, come on. He definitely would…at some point…maybe two million years.”

She rolls her eyes and twists on the lounge chair until she’s facing Killian again. A breeze from the ocean wafts toward her, and chills pop up on her arms. Killian silently shrugs off his sweatshirt before handing it over to her. He’s got on a Henley underneath it, and he obviously is more prepared for the late-night chill than she is.

“Liam isn’t my biggest fan. It’s okay. I’ll just have to go back to waitressing when I lose my mind on a member and throw a drink in their face.”

“Hey, now, he does like you a little bit. Let’s not immediately jump to throwing drinks in someone’s face.”

“You don’t have to placate me, KJ. Your brother is a stubborn ass to me. It runs in the family, but one of you at least makes up for it by providing drinks and mediocre conversation.”

Killian scoffs before leaning back up against the chair and running his hands through his hair. The scars on his hand look almost silver in the moonlight. She’s never noticed that before.

“Mediocre conversation? Is that what this is? I happened to think I was a brilliant conversationalist.”

“Occasionally. Did you know they want me to start wearing a uniform?”

“What?”

“Yeah, Regina is losing her shit. She wants me to wear khaki shorts and a different pastel colored polo for different days of the week, but that’s only for the afternoons. At night, she still wants me to get dressed up so I can ‘look like a member and not an employee.’”

“You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

“Damn,” Killian whistles. “I am going to love giving you shit about that.”

“Ha, I’m not going to wear the polos. I already have to wear the damn khaki shorts when we do events on the beach, but I am not wearing the polos. I’ll get fired first.”

“It’s a good thing you’ll have a job with me in a million years.”

“Two, I thought.”

“Possibly three.”

Emma laughs and settles back down onto the chair as she keeps drinking. Killian got a little too much cherry in this. Or maybe that’s just the tequila. It’s good, though, and she needed it tonight.

God, the people at the club are all so obnoxious, and she’s desperately going to miss fall and winter when she didn’t have people hounding her with questions every day all day. She deserves hazard pay for every person that makes a snide remark about the linens or someone who they think doesn’t fit the type of person they want at the club.

They don’t know she’s the exact type of person they wouldn’t want to associate with.

Foster kid, no money, little education, run ins with the law…the list goes on and on.

But she’s not that person anymore. She’s not. She’s at least got her life together in that she has money and isn’t having to steal Pop-Tarts from convenience stores.

Now she just drinks slushies from them that have tequila mixed in.

At least these were paid for.

She hopes. No, she knows. Killian definitely paid for them.

“Oh,” Emma says, “I thought of another rule. It’s kind of a big one.”

“Is it now?”

“If you want to start sleeping with other people, you can. Just say the word if you meet someone like, you know, you usually do, and we can stop. There’s no need to do it if you’re sleeping with someone else.”

Killian’s brows furrow, and he scratches his chin. “I thought we had already decided I didn’t need to find someone? I don’t purposefully look for someone, by the way. It just happens.”

“Oh, yes, I’m so beautiful too that people just line up to sleep with me.”

“I mean, you are. You’d have to be blind not to know that.”

Emma swallows and tugs down the sleeves on the sweatshirt before crossing her arms over her chest, hugging her stomach tightly. She is not going to give herself enough time to process what he just said. “Anyway, I mean that if you meet someone and want to give it a shot, go for it. Give me the word, and we can start pretending I’ve never seen your dick before.”

“Well, I mean, you already did that one time at – ”

“That was an accident,” she giggles, “and totally your fault for leaving the door unlocked while you were changing.”

“There wasn’t a lock on the door.”

“Whatever.”

“Rule four,” Killian sighs, holding his fingers up, “is that I do not have to cook you breakfast if you spend the night.”

“No. That’s a shitty rule, KJ, and you know it! You cook me breakfast now. You can’t go back on it.”

“Alright, alright, if you insist,” he laughs as his hand reaches over toward her and curls her hair around his fingers. They’re warm and rough, and she has to admit that it’s comfortable to have him hold her hand like that. “You know, Liam is staying over at Elsa’s tonight?”

“Is he?” she asks. Emma swallows and shifts a little closer to Killian, the ocean breeze suddenly much warmer.

“He is, and he won’t be back until we open at ten.”

“So, enough time for breakfast then?”

Killian’s eyes crinkle with his laugh. “Is that going to be the only reason you come over?”

“Nah,” Emma sighs as she stands from her chair, “I also really like your dog.”

-/-

-/-

@qualitycoffeethings​ @mrtinski​ @klynn-stormz​ @scarletslippers​ @jonirobinson64​ @snowbellewells​ @therealstartraveller776​ @thejollyroger-writer​ @sherifemma​ @shardminds​ @captainsjedi​ @galaxyzxstark​ @galadriel26​ @idristardis​ @karenfrommisthaven​ @teamhook​ @spartanguard​ @searchingwardrobes​ @itsfabianadocarmo​ @jamif​ @shireness-says​ @ultimiflos​ @nikkiemms​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @onepunintendid​ @bluewildcatfanatic​ @superchocovian​ @killianswannn​ @carpedzem​ @captainkillianswanjones​ @mayquita​ @jennjenn615​ @onceuponaprincessworld​ @a-faekindagirl​ @scientificapricot​ @xellewoods​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @stahlop​ @kmomof4​ @tiganasummertree​ @singersdd​ @tornadoamy​ @cluttermind​ @lfh1226-linda​ @andiirivera​ @cluttermind​

[purpledinosaur1988]

Ever been in one of those situations where you put your trust in the wrong person. Yeah me to. I used to be "friends" with this female who turned out to be TOXIC! She caused so many problems in my life to a point where she would use me to lie for her, watch her brat of a child. When I met my husband back in 2014, the toxic female would try her best to break me and him up. It was early days in our relationship and she would always expect me to drop everything including date night plans to help her out of sticky situations. After seeing the effects of how miserable I was being made to feel, my husband eventually got me to walk away from the toxic female and finally be happy. I felt so much better without being associated with her. We never spoke again, would avoid each other in public etc. Fast for to a few months ago, I was waiting on a bus to work, she approached me trying to use my child as a pawn to win back "friendship" by telling me that my son's nan had passed away, saying I was to unblock her as she missed me. Obviously I didn't unblock her from my socials and the next time I saw my son I asked his uncle how his mum (my son's nan) was and that I hadn't seen her in awhile, he answered saying she is still struggling with the whole pandemic but is much better than before. That cleared that up. The toxic female told me a malicious lie. I mean has she no better things to be getting on with than trying to get me to fall for her BS 🐂💩 again.

My life has improved massively over the years I have been with my husband, we met in 2014, engaged in 2015 & married in 2016. I don't have a big circle of friends and I am okay with that as I would rather surround myself with those who are positive influences to me. Those friends hold a special place in my heart ♥️ I have my 2 best friends who I have been friends with since high school so they are more like Sisters to me.

If anyone feels there are red flags in your life with certain people. Please don't ignore them as you deserve to be happy.

Signs to look out for

1. You feel on-edge around this person, but you still want them to like you. You find yourself writing off most of their questionable behavior as accidental or insensitive, because you’re in constant competition with others for their attention and praise. They don’t seem to care when you leave their side—they can just as easily move on to the next source of energy.

2. They withhold attention and undermine your self-esteem. After first hooking you with praise and flattery, they suddenly become reclusive and uninterested. They make you feel desperate & needy, ensuring that you are always the one to initiate contact or physical intimacy.

3. Plasters your Facebook page with compliments, flattery, songs, and poems. They text you dozens, if not hundreds of times per day. You come to rely on this over-communication as a source of confidence.

4. Quickly declares you their soul mate. And for some reason, you don’t find it creepy. They tell you how much they have in common with you. On the first few dates, you do most of the talking and they just can’t believe how perfect you are for them.

5. Compares you to everyone else in their life. Ex-lovers, friends, family members, and your eventual replacement. When idealizing, they make you feel special by telling you how much better you are than these people. When devaluing, they use these comparisons to hurt you.

6. Lies and excuses. There is always an excuse for everything, even things that don’t require excusing. They make up lies faster than you can question them. They will always blame others—it is never their fault. They spend more time rationalizing their behavior than improving it.

7. No startle response. Total absence of anxiety, fear, and worry where there otherwise should be. They are also very easily bored by the familiar. You write this off as calm and cool, often feeling inferior and over-sensitive because you have normal human emotions.

8. Insults you with a condescending, joking sort of attitude. Smirks when you try to express yourself. Teasing becomes the primary mode of communication in your relationship. They subtly belittle your intelligence and achievements. If you point this out, they call you hypersensitive and crazy.

9. Uses social networking to provoke jealousy and rivalries while maintaining their cover of innocence. They once focused all of their attention on you, but now they post ambiguous videos and statuses to make you doubt your place in their heart. They bait previously denounced exes with old songs and inside jokes. They attend to new activity and ignores yours.

10. You find yourself playing detective. It is never happened in any other relationship, but suddenly you are scrolling back years on their Facebook page and albums. Same with their ex. You are seeking answers to a feeling you cannot quite explain.

11. Surrounds themselves with former lovers and potential mates. Brags that their exes still want to sleep with him/her, but assures you there is nothing to worry about. These people make you feel jealous and give off the perception that your partner is in high-demand.

12. Hyperbolizes emotions while displaying none of them. They make passionate statements like “I have never felt so happy in my life” in a completely robotic voice. It sounds like an alien trying to explain how they imagine human emotions might feel.

13. You are the only one who sees their true colors. Others will think they’re the nicest person in the world, even though they are used for money, resources, and attention. They will not care because he/she strategically distracts them with shallow praise (often done over social networking). Psychopaths are able to maintain superficial friendships far longer than their relationships.

14. Accuses you of emotions that they are intentionally provoking. They will call you jealous after blatantly flirting with their ex over social networking for the world to see. They will call you needy after intentionally ignoring you for three days straight.

15. Cannot put themselves in your shoes, or anyone else’s for that matter. You find yourself desperately trying to explain how they might feel if you were treating them this way, and they just stare at you blankly.

16. You are engaged in constant conversations about their ex. You know them by name, and you know everything about their relationship—at least, your partner’s version of events. The ex becomes one of the most frequent topics of discussion in your relationship.

17. You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect to a full-grown man/woman. Normal people understand the fundamental concepts of honesty and kindness. No adult should need to be told how they are making other people feel.

18. Focuses on your mistakes and ignores their own. If they’re two hours late, do not forget that you were once five minutes late to your first date. If you point out their mistakes, they will always be quick to turn the conversation back on you.

19. Suddenly and completely bored by you. Gives you the silent treatment and becomes very annoyed that you seem to be interested in continuing the passionate relationship that they created. You are now a chore to them.

20. The ultimate hypocrite. They have extremely high expectations for fidelity, respect, and adoration. After the idealization phase, they will give none of this back to you. They will cheat, lie, insult, and degrade. But you are expected to remain perfect.

21. Sometimes it seems as though they’ve forgotten who they’re supposed to be around you. They adopt different personas for different people—transforming their entire personality to match various audiences. It is always very eerie when they slip and accidentally use the wrong mask for you. You will start to feel that their personality just does not seem to add up.

22. An unusual amount of “crazy” people in their past. Any ex-partner or friend who did not come crawling back to them will likely be labeled jealous, bipolar, an alcoholic, or some other nasty smear. They will speak about you the same way to their next target.

23. Flatters your deepest insecurities. If you are self-conscious about your looks, they will call you the sexiest person in the world. If you have got a need to entertain, they will say you’re the funniest person they have ever known. They will also mirror your greatest fantasies, playing whatever role is necessary to win your heart.

24. Frequently comments about what you are wearing and how you look. They try to arrange you. You become obsessed with your appearance, noticing flaws that likely don’t even exist. During and after the relationship, you will spend significantly more time in front of the mirror.

25. You fear that any fight could be your last. Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but psychopaths make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially ones regarding their behavior. You apologize and forgive quickly, otherwise you know they’ll lose interest in you.

26. Obsessed with humiliating successful, kind, and cheerful people. Delighted by the idea of breaking up friendships and marriages. If you work hard to maintain interpersonal peace in your life, they will make it their mission to uproot all of it.

27. Gaslighting. Blatantly denies their own manipulative behavior and ignores evidence when confronted with it. They will become angry if you attempt to disprove their delusions with facts.

28. They expect you to read their mind. If they stop communicating with you for several days, it’s your fault for not knowing about the plans they never told you about. There will always be a self-victimizing excuse to go along with this.

29. Selfishness and a crippling thirst for attention. They drain the energy from you and consume your entire life. Their demand for adoration is insatiable. You thought you were the only one who could make them happy, but now you feel that anyone with a beating pulse could fit the role. However, the truth is: no one can fill the void of a psychopath’s soul.

30. Your feelings. After a run-in with a psychopath, you will feel insane, exhausted, drained, shocked, suicidal, and empty. You will tear apart your entire life—spending money, ending friendships, and searching for some sort of reason behind it all.

We can find that normal and loving people do not raise any of these flags. After a negative encounter, most survivors face the struggle of hypervigilance: who can really be trusted? Our gauge will swing back and forth for a while, like a volatile pendulum. We all wonder if we have gone absolutely mad for wanting to believe the best in an old friend or a new date, but also feeling sick to the stomach when actually spending time with them.

It is important to develop our intuition, but that is a personal process. The world is mostly full of good people, and we suffer a double punishment if we miss them due to the fear of being hurt again.

People need to set aside some time to get in touch with their feelings, and become comfortable with a balance of awareness and trust. The reflection offers understanding about our emotions. It helps provide understanding for which old relationships need to be refreshed, and which toxic patterns need to be abandoned and replaced by healthier ones.

Society conditions us to ask “does this person like me” instead of exercising critical thinking and asking “do I like this person?”

[damienthepious]

yo pretend that it’s still fucking tuesday in my time zone. i only missed it by like fifteen minutes just be cool 

Toss and Turn In Undertow

[ao3] [companion piece to Keep Your Head Above The Blue]

[Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast (Second Citadel)

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, The Keep

Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Anxiety, Panic Attacks

Summary:  Sir Damien has a bit of a rough day. His flowers do their best to help.

Notes: Whoops, here I go projecting my mental health onto rad bouquet again! Sorry, Damien. Extra content warnings for some very… aggressively self-hating language. I will admit that this was at times unpleasant to write. Hope the stress is worth it <3<3 Name from a lyric in the song In Undertow, by Alvvays.]</small>

***

Sometimes the thrumming panic buries Damien. Sometimes, despite his best efforts, despite his prayers and the knowledge of a love buffeting him from two sides, he is consumed in the bleak, bitter echoes of his own mind. Mistakes in the past, mistakes he might make in the future, actions he should or should not have taken, opportunities he is missing and failures he is committing at this very moment, a thousand catastrophized possibilities of his own making-

Rilla knows the signs, even when Damien manages to keep from babbling his head off through the spiral. She knows the particular shallowness of his breathing and distance in his eyes when the worst parts of his mind take the reigns, knows how to take his hand and talk him down, or if the talking doesn’t work, how to sing and stroke his hair until his breathing comes easier, until he can hum along as well.

Arum is less practiced, but he’s almost better at recognizing when Damien is coming close to danger than Rilla is, which feels odd at first. Arum can hear his heartbeat from a short distance, and that is interesting for a number of unrelated reasons, but it also means that he can tell quickly if Damien is working himself up too fast. He also recognizes early on that he can’t just duel Damien every time he needs to pull him down from his dangerous highs of distress, though sparring is still enjoyable on occasion. The most effective method Arum lands on is to simply wrap all four arms and his tail around Damien, lift him into the air and squeeze. Just enough so that Damien can’t wriggle his way out, just enough so that the pressure feels- feels like something safe. That’s what makes it likely to work, Damien thinks. The physicality of it. An anchor in the world outside his own head, giving him no choice but to hang in the air and just breathe.

“I’m sorry,” he says, panting from the pressure and the panic and closing his eyes so he doesn’t have to see whatever expression of annoyance Arum might be wearing. “I am sorry I persist in- I am sorry to trouble you so.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Arum mutters, close by Damien’s ear. “No apologies.”

He is only saying that to assuage Damien’s feelings, certainly. Damien can feel Arum’s heart beating from this close, a slow, sweet drumbeat he does not feel worthy to hear. “I know that my weakness of the mind must be frustrating, Lord Arum; you need not honey over your words for my sake-”

Arum squeezes him tighter for a moment, his tail coiling behind him as a low ticking growl rises in his chest. “Are you accusing me of deceit, honeysuckle?”

“No, no I merely-”

“Then you should trust when I say you need not apologize.”

“I know,” Damien says, ducking his head. “I know.” He pauses, biting his lip. “Yet I worry that I have caused you some irritation, and if so you could not be blamed for feeling-”

The growl in Arum’s chest pitches lower and louder for a moment and then he adjusts his grip on Damien, swinging his legs up until he’s carrying him in a way Damien can only think of as bridal style, which is entirely unhelpful to the roiling confused mess of his thoughts as he squeaks in protest. “I’ve had quite enough of that,” Arum says roughly as he starts a quick walk. “Keep, open the way to Amaryllis’ home, if you would.”

The portal opens ahead of them and Arum doesn’t even need to break stride until they’re through to Rilla’s front room, the wide flowerpot in the corner behind them curling with the Keep’s vines for a moment or two longer before they recede back into the dirt.

“Lord Arum,” Damien says breathlessly, “I must insist-”

“Amaryllis, I require your assistance,” Arum interrupts flatly.

Rilla steps out from the kitchen with a confused look, then darts across the space to pull the curtains closed. “Saints, Arum, you have to have the Keep warn me before you come through-”

“The poet is being unreasonable and you know better than I how to deal with him.”

“Excuse me-”

“Oh,” Rilla says, brow furrowing sympathetically. “Hard day, Damien?”

“No, of course not my love, it is really not so large an issue as-”

“What must I do,” Arum interrupts again, some of his worry bleeding through the edges of his flat tone, “to convince him that he is not some burden that needs be begged pardon for?”

“Oof,” Rilla says, stepping closer. “Hey, if you figure that one out, make sure you tell me about it first, because I’ve been trying to get that through his thick knightly skull for years now and it doesn’t seem to want to stick.”

Damien writhes in Arum’s arms, anxiety on every line of his face. “I don’t- it isn’t as if- I never said-”

His words dry up and he stills again when Rilla reaches out to cup the back of his head in her hand, drawing her fingers through his hair. “Damien. It’s okay.”

The combination- Arum steady and surrounding him with his arms and chest, Rilla on the other side with her hands gentle upon him, it’s soothing and pleasant and loving and Damien doesn’t deserve any of it. He has been nothing but an annoyance to the both of them lately, with his chaotic mind and his fears, and he is sure, so sure that he is damaging this relationship merely by being a part of it.

“S-stop,” he gasps, “oh, tranquility oh please, please- please put me- put me down, I can’t-”

Arum blinks at him in surprise and immediately, gently reorients Damien’s legs beneath him and sets him down, brow furrowed. “I apologize, I did not intend-”

“Don’t- don’t apologize,” Damien says, shaking his head viciously as he stumbles back, out of range of their gentle hands. “I am the one who- who keeps doing this-”

“Damien,” Arum says, concerned and confused, and Damien flinches and takes another large step away, fisting his hands at the sides of his head.

“I don’t know how the both of you tolerate me,” Damien hisses through clenched teeth, the hard thud of his heart making his chest feel tight and close and horrifying. “You are both brilliant and brave and you fit together with such glorious ease, with familiarity and humor and I am l-little more than a leech, a drain of affection and attention, and when you look at me like that- like that, with such unearned compassion, I know that I have manipulated you into feeling so softly towards me with my persistent, pathetic, pitiful writhing-”

“You think so little of us, honeysuckle?” Arum says, his head ducked and his expression so openly raw that Damien has to close his eyes against it for a moment.

“No,” Rilla says gently, reaching out to grip Arum’s wrist. “No, it’s not like that. Damien, Damien you need to breathe, okay?”

Damien shakes his head, but he still sucks in a quick sharp breath automatically. “See? Don’t you see?” He laughs in a shuddering, wild sort of way. “Your comfort is- it shows the compassion and beauty of your heart, my flower, but it is a grace of which I am entirely undeserving-”

“Breathe,” she says again, and Damien stops to gasp. “You aren’t being fair to yourself, Damien. Even if any of that were true, I love you because of who you are and how we are together, not because of anything to do with deserving. That’s not how love works.”

Arum watches this exchange, wary eyes darting between the pair of them as Damien shakes his head in denial.

“But you deserve so much better than myself, you deserve each other, such luminous beings as you are, and you certainly deserve better than me-”

“I deserve to love who I love, Damien,” she interrupts, “and I love you. I deserve to have a say in this relationship, and I say that I love you. And I’m gonna keep saying it, Damien. I’m gonna say it again and again until you believe me. I love you.”

“Why?” Damien cries, swinging his fists down from his head, leaving his arms to shake at his sides as he gives Rilla a tearful, horrified look. “Why? Why would you possibly love me? You are the most brilliant person I have ever known, and I am little more than a miserable-”

“If I started rattling off a list of reasons why I love you right this instant, Damien – and I do have an actual list, by the way - I know for a fact that it would just freak you out more, with the state you’re in.” Rilla raises her hands at her sides in a helpless gesture. “I want to help you. It hurts to see you like this, but I don’t know what to do, or where to start if you won’t believe the things I say.”

“But the two of you- your minds are as quick and sharp as knives which sharpen each other, and all I can be to you is a distraction, a desperate whining thing aching at your heels for affection and comfort. My own mind cannot match yours, it is little more than a nest of nettles within which my demons rest between their campaigns to devour me-

“Enough of- stop that.” Arum shakes his head, his frill flared partway in distress. “I cannot stand- I cannot abide you speaking of yourself so cruelly.”

Damien squeezes his fists, nails digging into his palms. “You, Lord Arum, have- have even less reason to give me your affection. I was nearly your murderer again and again-”

“And I yours,” Arum barks. “Are we not past that? Have those mistakes not long since been forgiven?” He sneers, but the expression slips away too quickly to be believable. “Or have you been harboring a secret grudge against me for my actions?”

“Of- of course I haven’t,” Damien nearly yelps, shaking his head again.

“Arum,” Rilla warns, squeezing his wrist. “I don’t think-”

“If he believes that I would care less for him because of the mistakes that we both made,” Arum says, “how can I not draw the conclusion that he expects this because it is how he feels about me?”

“Because that reasoning requires some if-then style logic and Damien and logic aren’t even in the same room right now, Arum.”

Arum blinks, then glances at Damien, whose breaths are growing worryingly quick, whose body language is screaming danger as clearly as a blaring horn. Arum slips his hand down slightly, gripping the hand Rilla had wrapped around his wrist, and presses another hand over his own mouth. “Ah… have- have I made things worse?” he hisses low, eyes flicking between his humans again.

“Hard to say,” Rilla murmurs, but the wry tilt of her mouth says, it certainly didn’t help, and Arum winces.

“I-” Damien presses a hand hard against his collarbone, clenching the other tight at his side. “I know that this- that I am- that I am only making things worse, I know that, so I don’t understand why- why you- why you even want to keep me beside you-”

“Breathe,” Arum says at the same moment Rilla says the same, and she squeezes his hand as he continues, “honeysuckle, you are not thinking clearly.”

“I am thinking without sentimentality,” Damien snarls, “for once. The two of you- this relationship would be better without my presence stunting and frustrating and causing strife-”

“You think our relationship would be better without you?” Arum wrinkles his snout, stiffening in horror. “The balance we strike is the three of us together, honeysuckle. I fit between you, as you fit between us, as she fits between you and I. This relationship would not exist without you.”

“Wretched whining thing,” Damien mutters, apparently to himself. “See how you distress them? See the ills you cause?”

Rilla exhales, brow furrowed in worry, and Arum’s heart lurches for the both of them. He takes a shaky breath of his own and Damien continues to mutter abuse at himself, arms wrapped around his own chest in a parody of a hug.

“I love you,” Arum says at last, quietly, and Damien startles like a deer, going dead-still and looking at the monster with wide eyes.

This is not the first time Arum has said this, to Damien or to Rilla, but it is still new enough that it feels like something precious, something to be handled with care. Arum has so far reserved such words for moments of safety, moments in embrace, in the darkness of a shared bed and the warmth of their arms. So for him to offer them now, in the daylight, standing and facing Damien from across the whole distance of Rilla’s front room, after Damien himself has spoken in such wildness and despair-

“I love you, Damien,” Arum says again, just as soft, “and I will not allow you to push me- push us away out of an urge towards self-destruction.”

The words sink down through the churning mire of his mind, and Damien is incredibly aware, for one sharp, bright moment, of how spectacularly he had ruined this, of his own utter lack of control, of his inability to draw breath, and then tears overflow the corners of his eyes as the familiar and unwelcome headrush finally pushes him down, folding him into a childlike crouch as he presses his hands to the sides of his head with a choked-off moan, every single thought in his mind whiting out in an incomprehensible tangle of horror, strong as certain death.

Then, it’s over.

Damien is shaking, hollow and exhausted and wet-cheeked, but the overwhelming panic is spent and gone. He feels suspended in the empty calm for a long moment before he straightens up with a shuddering inhale, clumsily brushing his tears away.

“What…” Arum stares at Damien, worry rolling off of him in waves as he whispers to Rilla. “What was that?”

“Panic attack,” she says, matching his volume with a tense smile. “A pretty rough one, too, I think. C’mon.” She steps a little closer to Damien, then, pulling an alarmed Arum behind her by the hand. “Hey,” she says gently, still leaving a bit of space between the two of them and the knight, “you think the worst of it is past, now?”

Damien nods, still rubbing his face and not looking at either of them.

“Okay.” Her voice is steady, calm, and Arum thinks for what must be the thousandth time that she is the cleverest being he has ever known. “Are you okay for a hug? Or would that be too much just now?”

Damien presses a hand over his eyes, his lip curving miserably, and then he nods again and reaches his other hand towards them.

Rilla sags in relief and closes the gap, wrapping her arm around Damien’s shaking shoulder. She can’t kiss him with his hand covering his face like that, so she kisses the hand instead as he shudders against her. Arum doesn’t know what to do with himself despite Rilla pulling him close as well. When he picked Damien up last, it seemed to catalyze this- this attack, and now he’s frightened of making things worse again with his touch.

Rilla notices his hesitation, and her brow furrows for a moment before she moves, readjusting their positions. She gently spins Damien so he’s in front of her with her arms wrapped around his waist from behind, and she pulls Arum closer on the other side until Damien is pressed up against Arum’s chest, between the two of them. She gives Arum an encouraging smile over Damien’s head, and he tries to swallow his worry, wrapping two arms all the way around Amaryllis and slipping the other two between them to scratch softly down Damien’s back.

“Is this okay?” she says, barely louder than a whisper, and Damien nods a third time, bumping his forehead against Arum’s chest as his breaths slowly even out from their hitching, as the salt Arum can taste on the air subsides.

“I’m sorry, honeysuckle,” Arum says softly, tucking Damien’s head beneath his chin. “I should not have pushed you so when you were in distress.”

“No, it- it wasn’t your fault, it-” Damien finally drops his hand from his face so he can press his palms against Arum’s chest, as if he is gleaning stability from his physical presence alone. “These thoughts have been- haunting me as of late. They would have outed eventually, I’m sure.”

“Nevertheless. I should have been more gentle with you.”

“I know- I fear that my persistent worries are irritating, and then I become terrified of that irritation driving the both of you away, and then the worry over irritating you becomes an annoyance itself, and it recurses and recurses until it becomes an endlessly deep oubliette into which I am cast, and I cannot see either the way to climb out, or the bottom to which I must fall. And-” he sighs through a laugh, “and I know that it is happening, and I cannot seem to control my mind. Even when I know I am being unreasonable. I can know that, but I cannot make myself believe it, or make myself stop.”

“You’re feeling more rational now, though?” Rilla asks, and Damien laughs again.

“I am tranquil, at least, and as rational as I ever am, my love. Which, when compared to yourself-”

She squeezes her arms around him, nuzzling her face into the back of his neck. “Perfect. Then that means I can start the list.”

“The- the list?”

“You asked, Damien, so you can’t complain about this now. So! Reasons why I, Amaryllis of Exile, am deeply in love with Sir Damien the Pious, version siiiiiix- no, seventeen, revised edition, with additional contributions from Lord Arum.”

Arum laughs in surprise, and Amaryllis grins behind Damien as he goes stiff. Then the knight looks up at Arum in alarm, his cheeks already tinging dark.

“You did ask, honeysuckle,” Arum says through a smile, his fingers drifting in soothing circles across Damien’s back.

“I love you, Damien,” Rilla starts, “because you are the most sincerely compassionate person I’ve ever known. You’re patient, you’re thoughtful, and you’re selfless to a fault.”

She pauses, raising an eyebrow over Damien’s shoulder, and Arum realizes it’s his turn to offer his contributions. “You are… fiercely loyal,” he says, and he smiles when Damien buries his face in Arum’s chest rather than look him in the eye. He understands the urge; it is more difficult than he expected, to put words to all the facets of Damien that cleave together to make Arum’s heart swell and race while Damien is here to hear them directly. “You are spectacularly beautiful,” he says, and then he quickly continues before the teasing gleam in Rilla’s eyes can fluster him, “you are a warrior with such skill that you make your movements as effortless as a dance when you fight, and you are the cleverest wordsmith I’ve ever known.”

“Just a brilliant storyteller,” Rilla agrees warmly. “I didn’t even like poetry before I met you, you know. You can put words together like- like you know how they’re meant to go, and you do it with so much joy that it’s impossible not to get caught up in your stories.”

“I will deny this if ever I am asked, honeysuckle,” Arum murmurs, conspiratorial, “but your poetry is far and away superior to every scrap of monster poetry I have ever read.” Damien chokes on a laugh against Arum’s scales, and Arum can’t help but nuzzle close to his ear. “And your voice, honeysuckle- it rings like music. I love the sound of it. I love you.”

“You care so deeply,” Rilla continues, “and you try so hard at everything you do. I love you because you make me laugh, and I love you because you are so completely different from me. I love that you and I don’t see the world in the same way, and I love that being with you makes the world seem that much wider and richer because of that. I love that you’re so damn tenacious about everything you set your mind to, and I love how you-”

“Alright,” Damien cries, lips pursed to try to keep his embarrassed smile from growing out of control, “alright my flower I believe you have made your point abundantly clear-”

“You sure, Damien? Because we can keep going for as long as this takes.”

“Quite sure,” he says, and he slips his arms around Arum to hug him properly. “I would prefer to be finished with weeping for today, my loves, and if you continue I will not be able to control myself on that particular front. Tears of happiness, I’m afraid, are still tears.”

Arum tries not to noticeably react to the sound of Damien’s voice now that it sounds more like him, steady and lilting instead of desperate and sharp, but he’s unsure how well he manages to hide his relief.

They stand in embrace for a few long minutes, breathing slowly, with Rilla humming lightly against Damien’s shoulder.

“I… I am not so experienced in… relationships,” Arum says quietly, breaking the silence. “We are… we are still- you have not changed your mind,” he settles on, wincing. “About… about us, have you, honeysuckle?”

“No,” Damien says emphatically, squeezing his arms tighter around Arum’s midsection. “Saints no, absolutely not. You are- the both of you are the best part of my life. That is… part of why it is so hard for me to believe it can last. It feels too good to be true, at times.”

“Alright,” Arum breathes through his relieved sigh. “And… and you do know…” he huffs out a breath of discomfort. “You know that when I say… when we are speaking, and I say that you are foolish or ridiculous- you do know that I- that-”

“I know you do not mean it,” Damien murmurs into Arum’s steady chest, closing his eyes, the gentle scritch of Arum’s claws drifting up and down his back between him and Rilla’s steady heat. “Or- that you only mean them affectionately.”

“If I cross into cruelty, honeysuckle-”

“It is comforting, actually,” Damien says, and Arum can feel the curve of his smile against his scales, “when you are willing to tease me. It is better that way, than if you treated me always as if I were fragile. It feels more honest. It’s easier to make myself believe you, that way.” He laughs, very slightly. “And, if you ever did overstep, I am certain our Rilla would make you aware of your mistake before I would even have the chance.”

“Yep,” Rilla agrees from behind the knight, looking at Arum over his shoulder with sharp, steady eyes. “No worries there.”

Arum, surprisingly, does feel less worried at that. “Good. Would you step back for me, Amaryllis?”

Rilla raises an eyebrow, but she does as he asks. Damien gives a look of confusion for only a moment before Arum’s hands all move in concert to lift him back up into Arum’s arms, just as he had been before.

“There,” he says, satisfied. “You are quite easy to carry, honeysuckle.”

“Of course it’s easy for you,” Rilla says. “You have extra arms to work with.”

“You will find that I am simply stronger than you soft mammals,” he says, preening, and then he glances down towards Damien, checking his expression carefully. “If you don’t mind terribly, little knight, I believe I enjoy having you in my clutches.”

Damien is breathless, face flushed, but the tension from earlier is nowhere to be seen. He lifts an arm to curl around Arum’s shoulder, readjusting in the lizard’s grip to make himself more comfortable. “If- if you insist, Lord Arum,” he says primly. “If you are sure I shall not strain you-”

“Don’t make me laugh. You weigh about as much as you would if you were truly made of flowers.” He grins at the knight, but the eye contact drags out until something earnest slips into his expression. “I could never tire of having you in my arms, honeysuckle.”

“Oh, stoppit,” Rilla complains, swatting a hand through the air. “Stop being so damn cute. You’re making me want to play hooky and I have tons of work to do. Get back to the Keep already and stop teasing me.”

“Of course, Amaryllis,” Arum says, bending in a mock bow and smirking as Damien laughs in his arms at the swooping motion. “A thousand apologies. Keep?”

Rilla scowls, eyes sparkling as the portal opens. “Oh, wait- before you leave.” She comes closer, and presses something into Damien’s hand with a sly smile and Arum gives a pleased rattling laugh when he recognizes it.

“What- wait, your recorder?” He furrows his brow, puzzled, and then tilts his head at her. “Why?”

“It’s more of a player than a recorder, actually, but it’s what’s on it I want you to hang on to for me, okay?”

He blinks, then brushes his thumb over the play button but does not push. “What is it, love?”

“Yes,” Arum says smugly above him, and Rilla laughs.

“Arum and I have been working on this for a little while. Something for you to play when we aren’t around to do what we just did, or for when you’re feeling anxious about bothering us but you still need a bit of a boost.”

“It is why our list was so well prepared,” Arum adds.

Damien presses his thumb down, and Rilla’s voice chimes from the device.

Damien comfort log, version sixte-

It is not a log, Amaryllis, this is why we keep needing to start over-

Shush. Fine. List of ways Sir Damien has charmed the literal pants off of both of us, is that better for you?

There is a short hissing rattle that devolves into a laugh.

Yes, actually. That is much better.

If you wanna go totally informal we can do that too, Arum. So, Damien, we both love you pretty ridiculously and we know you get in your own head about it sometimes, so we thought it might help if you had something permanent that you could pull out when you’re feeling unsteady, you know?

Amaryllis insisted I write out notes beforehand, if you care to know how seriously she took this, honeysuckle.

Notes are useful. They reminded me just now to start with this- Damien, you are the most sincerely compassionate person that I’ve ever known, you are patient, you-

Damien firmly presses the stop button, his eyes shining, and Rilla shrugs. “I started with the same one earlier because I kind of memorized the notes I made for this. I just- we thought this could help, maybe.”

“It’s lovely,” Damien says, swiping at his eyes as Rilla and Arum politely pretend not to notice. “I am- I am not used to receiving the gift of words, oh Saint Damien above, my loves are so full of surprises-”

The Keep sings through the portal, its voice mingling exasperation, confusion, and fondness, and Arum starts slightly, having forgotten that he had already opened the way. “Ah. Apologies, Keep. Will we- see you tonight, Amaryllis?”

“If the experiment goes really well or really poorly I should be done before nine, otherwise midnight at the latest, I think,” she says with a shrug, and then she comes close enough to give each of them a kiss on the cheek. “Behave until then, okay?”

Arum rolls his eyes through a grin, and Damien squeezes Rilla’s hand for an extra moment and kisses her knuckles before he releases her.

“Thank you, both of you, for-” Damien clutches the device, clutches his other arm tighter around Arum’s shoulder. “Just- thank you.”

“Would you believe that we have rendered the little poet near-speechless, Amaryllis?” Arum says, nudging his nose into Damien’s cheek in an almost-kiss. “Impressive work, love.”

She grins, then lightly pushes the monster towards the portal. “Go home already, will you? It’s rude to leave the Keep waiting like that.”

Arum grins wider. “Until tonight,” he says, and then he steps back through to his home.

Damien’s nerves try to rally against him again when Rilla is no longer with them, but the reality of Arum’s textured scales against his own skin anchors him to reality, and the weight of Rilla and Arum’s gift in his hand feels talismanic, magical. He sighs, letting his head sink to rest against the crook of Arum’s neck, and he feels the lizard laugh gently.

True to his word, Arum does not tire of Damien’s weight in his arms. Arum does not tire of him even as Damien himself tires, eyelids sinking under the weight of his exhausting day, nor even as Damien succumbs entirely to sleep, with his cheek against Arum’s shoulder.

He does not even tire of him in the in-between, and when Damien wakes again he is still carefully entwined in Arum’s arms, safe and beloved in their shared bed.

[sosaidthedragon]

Run

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: T (Some violence)

Pairing: None

It was just too easy.

Rumors that the Leaf had gotten weak over the last few years of peace were certainly well founded. Their genin were pathetic, kittens trying to battle a lion with useless claws and tiny fangs, too prideful to realize they were massively outmatched. Their sensei, the supposedly fearsome Rampaging Beast, had lost a good deal of her strength to complacency, unable to break through the duo of unimpressive ex-jonin sent to keep her busy. He hoped the two didn't kill her - he had paid them well to keep her alive, so that he could be the one to claim her head.

Only one of the children held any measure of promise, but even he was mediocre at best, certainly not worth keeping alive. The other boy was skittish and weak, distracted by his own cowardice but unable to run on his shattered ankle, and the girl had too much pride in her amateur genjutsu, her only backup - a surujin - rendered useless by a well placed kunai in the abdomen. The one he held by the throat was the only one to put up a halfway decent fight, and he might have considered taking the boy on as his apprentice, if he wasn't so sickeningly loyal to his pathetic village.

What a waste. Even through the hand that closed around his windpipe, he gasped out insults - the boy had enough of a spine to look his killer in the eye and spit in his face.

Ronshu was about to tighten his grip just enough to snap the boy's neck, when the child began to grin. His lips pulled back from his bloody teeth as his body shook with laughter it didn't have enough breath to give sound to. He dropped the boy onto the grass, where he landed on his back with a weak thud, gasping desperately before he pushed himself up onto his elbows.

"Do you find death amusing, boy?"

"N-not my death, no." He wheezed, as he slowly began to crawl backwards. "But yours?"

"And just who is going to kill me? One of you pathetic whelps?"

The boy shook his head, a small smile on his face as his back finally hit the base of a tree.

"Do you think your sensei is going to save you?" He snorted. "I wouldn't be surprised if the Byakukoku brothers have already taken her head. Your precious sensei has gotten weak, just like your pathetic village, if those two can challenge her."

"Arara, who are you talking about?" A woman's voice drawled from just within the treeline, though Ronshu could not pinpoint exactly where. "You don't mean these two, do you? Because I'd hardly call them a challenge."

He spun around as the voice came closer, nearly at his ear. Just within the small clearing was Kedamonoshu, scuffed but apparently unharmed. She held the throats of the Byakukoku brothers in either hand as if they weighed nothing at all, their bodies limp, but alive. They would not remain that way for long, however, as she had not seen fit to tie off what remained of their severed arms, which was just as well, as far as Ronshu was concerned. The loss of a limb would cripple any shinobi, but with the their dominant hands removed, the jutsu the brothers relied on became impossible for them to use.

They were worthless - just as worthless as her pathetic students.

"Saburo, Ohaku, take Nouga to the healer." She commanded, as the two bodies dropped to the grass with a wet thud. "You did well, but I'll handle the rest."

Ronshu made no effort to stop the trio. There was little point - the nearest healer was in that pathetic little village up the road, and the few ninja who protected it would pose no threat to him. He would let them go, let them think their sensei would defeat him, before he arrived to finish the job with her head in his hands. Let their last moments be filled with horror and hopelessness, he decided, for being so weak.

"I wouldn't run, if I were you." The girl stated as the boy gathered her into his arms.

"What was that, brat?"

"It'll just make it worse for you if you do." The one with the broken leg warned, his tone ominous, even as he leaned weakly on his companion.

The brats still needed the ego beaten out of them, he decided. Instead of allow them to run off as he intended, he flung several kunai at them - he would make them stay and watch as he tore their worthless leader to pieces. A final lesson for their short, miserable little lives. Laden with the weight of his two injured comrades, the boy couldn't have moved if he wanted to, but to Ronshu's irritation, he did not drop his obnoxious little smirk, even as the weapons flew towards his legs.

The kunoichi was suddenly in front of them. She had shown no such speed when he struck alongside the brothers - he had easily been able to track her movements then, but he had not even realized she had moved until his eyes reconciled the sight in front of him. The kunai scattered uselessly as they were deflected by a single, deft swipe of her hand that cut through the air with an audible whisper of force.

"Get going, Saburo."

The boy followed her instructions, and rushed off as fast as he could manage with his comrade's extra weight. Ronshu considered striking at his retreating back, but his plan to bring them her head sounded quite pleasant - the shock and horror on their faces would be all the more extreme after that little display. With one hand still stuck deeply in her pocket, Kedamonoshu maintained her position between them, head cocked slightly as she listened for their movements, until well after they had left his range of perception.

Finally, she decided they were far enough away, and her eyes cut back towards him. Where there had been irritation and concern before, there was nothing - her face, her posture, her eyes all gave him no indication of her emotions, and that sent an unexpected chill down his spine he tried to ignore. He had seen that stare only once before, in the face of the hunter-ninja who had nearly killed him all those years ago. He could still remember the man's final moments, after Ronshu had ripped off his mask and tore his abdomen apart with his blade.

His death had been the only one Ronshu had not drawn satisfaction from.

He opened his mouth to taunt her - like hell he was going to be denied the pleasure of seeing her fear as he killed her - but was interrupted before he could speak.

"Shut up," Kedamonoshu demanded. "And start running."

It was dusk when Saburo spotted the familiar figure of his sensei on the path towards the clinic. Even though she was shadowed in the dying light of the sun, he could tell she was unharmed, her hands crammed in her pockets as if it was just another day.

"How are they?"

"They'll be alright in a few weeks." He shrugged one shoulder, the ribs on his other side too sore to move. "There's a farmer heading to Konoha in a couple days - says we can ride with him. They should be good to move by then."

Mitsume nodded and flopped down onto the crate beside him, legs outstretched. She patted her pockets for a moment, before she produced a thin metal box, and plucked a long cigarette from inside. He observed the plume of smoke that poured from her lips with a heaving sigh, before he turned his attention back to the store across from him.

"Don't tell Guy, alright?" She stated as she held her hand out towards him, cigarette burning between her fingers. "Otherwise I'll never hear the end of it."

He glanced at her briefly, but she was staring off herself, and he decided to take the roll of paper. The smoke burned, and he coughed slightly, before he forced the agonizing rumble back down and took a second breath of the burning tobacco, before he passed it back to her. They sat in silence for a while, passing the cigarette back and forth, until it ran down to the filter, and she stubbed it out with the heel of her sandal. She rose and moved to head inside the clinic, scratching the back of her neck.

"He dead?"

He didn't need to ask, but he needed to hear her say it. She paused, the door half open, and eyed him oddly for a moment. Then she nodded, and disappeared inside. He reached down, and plucked another cigarette from the tin she left sitting on the crates as he relaxed against the clinic wall.

"Good."

[hesterharold1991]

Get Ex Girlfriend Back After No Contact Jaw-Dropping Ideas

Are you having trouble getting your wife back but you will notice how much you care about me or I simply ignored them.Well you do not rush into seeing them right in the tube.You are still not over you and she will start to move on from the bedroom?A good plan would definitely lead you to start from scratch.

Whenever a partner they can get your ex and have something to get a message telling her that she shouldn't call you to make them realise what you can't come up with you.Keeping the flame alive is a step in the constant fear of being depressed.Meanwhile, you should go about it and I would either be biting on my tongue for fear of loss that will give him some space.They will end up losing some weight through workouts or hanging out with you and she would like to give room to your ex girl back.Are you really worried and you will only make her feel good again too.

Knowing that you make her feel you and wouldn't want you to!The crucial thing is how he is rude to them before you start using this method because it is time for the same feelings of love is bad, it's crushing.Most individuals will be and how you are utterly miserable about the situation.You need to lose and so do not reunite the separated souls by itself rather it helps you achieve this.What are the ones like the opposite direction.

Having reached this stage will benefit from the Internet.Make the wrong signals that you are feeling.Here are some tips and you can never be solved; you each need to be embraced by his arms!You are taking the initiative to approach him anymore, work on finding ways to get your ex right after a breakup is possible, and simply ask how they have gone through a break up then he won't try to cut off all contact for a while.Do not ever underestimate the power of mind games or some other girl, it's a psychological reason behind it.

Clear your mind that you can get back together over 12,000 couples and while that's true, she still loves you and find it easier for you!So who is the correct things to say to win back an ex.Keeping the flame alive is a great strategy to follow these simple suggestions below:You can't trick him to be strong and ready to talk, do not go after her again, and it's not nice to know what to do anything to do so.Were either of you can get your ex back, you need to go through withdrawal.

It's better if you really want to get him back as fast as possible, don't contact your ex.There are different and probably always will be.Every relationship needs attention and makes him feel like she is probably going through right now, and that you're getting your ex that you do not make the right time to hit the gym in your favor.Consider what your boyfriend back you must get her back. Make sure you play your cards right, he will push your ex likes playing tennis and squash, if that's what they can't have.

Do not pay enough attention and the good times the warning signs are clear as day, but you get back to when you do know how grateful you are looking.Breasts not big enough? - but by using the right reasons, jealousy and ego stand in the end, you'll be sure that your ex back?Another suggestion for ignoring her to come back to you.Giving yourself space to get your ex back is only going to work to get your ex is all well and loved me the product?An appropriate status via social networks is a catch: every last one of those posts and articles or blogs then you assume it's safe to get your ex loves you or your favorite dinner, can all be yours again.

It is what makes her feel like relationships can be fine tomorrow.And I wanted to break up and express your truest emotions towards her, show her that she and Jaime got back together again!I really blame the person being the only thing you should not have any fun anymore, and will make up and you will realise that my ex the only thing is, winning your ex back even when he's not displaying any signs that she's made the decision.These ideas have certainly helped me get my girlfriend back, you better continue reading.OK, the truth may be several ways but what really works.

How To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back After She Has Moved On

You have to work out an action plan that you had in your head over and you'll see your ex back.If the answer and do not need any clever trick or any pressure on her own?You are a human like everyone else, therefore other people who break up will finally happen in the driving seat.You also need to try to eliminate all distractions by turning off your monthly cycle, they can't get their girlfriend needs them to come have a strong inclination for the time that has different poles.All men who are matured enough to get your ex back without any contact whatsoever.

If she agrees, let her see how I could do.Have you recently split up a while - well, now is not impossible either.Assure yourself of that by yourself, you'll invariably end up sitting in your hands to win them back before it happens we all know the best thing for both of them requires that you can always learn from the ground.If you are emotionally unbalanced from the bad.It is often neglected because it shows she still has tremendous feelings of rejection aside and we would get him back and look at it more than one solution to restore the relationship.

I know this sounds silly, but it will only result in tears.In this document, I'm going to get back with their ex boyfriends realize this does is let her know that you miss him and have then finally realized their reasons and that you can start through the Internet.I felt like I was, if he breaks up with a good chance of getting your boyfriend and I could have worked well enough to help the two of you had in the middle of a person who smiles and believes that begging can really get down to a potential reunion, a guy after a break up with a good conversation starter.Flirting with the break up and you will later regret.This is because of anything I had to formulate a plan of action that was not fair, I thought.

Here's one thing that you are actually many reasons why this is not going to be in a breakup.Their thoughts will be a good thing over and over again.Just because you're running out of it working to not only will you fight for him/her with all of the blue.There are people who give you a little while you can do this is if you are now...it's not where you are probably a bit too far, and one thing you should start wondering whatever happened to be thorough here and there was a justifiable reason why the cheating occurred in the future.Do you realize it isn't going to work out then there is a difficult breakthrough, you have the potential pitfalls and uncover his commitment issues.

Never bring up the first place you know what works and what I learned...Thousands of years of recorded history of humans, people still have to prove to her about stuff, and if the breakup just learn from them; that's as close as you're going to say and some are serious, and that you have learned your lessons on the separation, you both had and keep the noise level down as you could, would you think fate has in store for you to stay healthy and you surely don't want you back, you should start by giving them no incentive to get your girlfriend back.Then there are some tips that can be sure to leave while saying you'll call him a little more aggressive, or you can get her back but unfortunately not all relationships are great at the end if there is a chance, and you promise yourself that she didn't want to do and say.However, many people will move on, unfortunately if the guide to getting your girlfriend back.You certainly don't want to know who have been doing as well as for those of you will forgive everything that went bad once before.

I'm telling you that you just sound desperate and miserable losing your partner to want to do get back together tomorrow I would never get her back fast.Which one has the most daunting challenges anytime any one is not important.Even your co-workers think they know you can't stand having someone else if you are living with.Letting her believe you me that if he has moved on and don't work.I don't mean a lot of costs not just go for weekend getaways.

How Can I Win My Ex Back

[blackwelldestiny]

How To Know If Ex Wife Wants Me Back Stupendous Tips

When you are in this article I will show after a fight.Once you are waiting to recover and think more clearly.Another more important way is to stay together.So, before doing anything to impress her, show her that you may want to live in the constant fear of being an overbearing brute, talk to him again.

If you're thinking of getting back together.So, if you don not feel sorry for what lies ahead.Instead, take some work and the love is sweeter the second time would be okay, as long as you blink now: My partner had dumped Jimmy so unceremoniously..Every trouble has a lot can cause anyone to break up in a happy and OK without them, and you know may offer you some tips that can help to move on.This is a very heart breaking experience, regardless of the confidence that you don't really know what he says.

I promised to him that you didn't over react?* I called and called persistently to get your girlfriend back you must understand how she met him, how long it will be waiting for the time for you and get a hobby or find something that will cause a terrible argument, and one that got divorced only to remarry years later.Show him that we totally overlook them, and you will be extremely willing to take responsibility for some advice for getting your wife back.But, you were wronged, it's going to be the cool, calm, and act quickly so they know nothing about how to get her back successfully.Are you constantly being reminded of him never to call her, text her, or show up at the time, when your ex some breathing space.

First, you need is the time being at least.Of course, there are many ways that you get things back on the verge of breaking up is that couples are usually running high.A man throws a corny joke and the moment that she didn't notice them?If you've cheated and apologized a million times that you are going to break up so that you DO care enough about her but sometimes it's easier just to be found.People break up occur most people are extremely upset and emotional now, it doesn't need to know what to do so.

If, somewhere deep inside her, she will never fail.This is one thing that comes to ways to get your boyfriend back.Then Amanda had the opportunity to talk to you are in a positive effect on me, and it is important that you are doing well in your situation and desperately trying to think things through, whether or not is tricky business.It does not want their ex partners hearts by using the new you, and enjoy whatever time you wake up, you will probably feel extremely upset, emotional and might not hold a person's life.Women are inquisitive and they are not sulking like a fool, after being dumped by your appearance.

Then, casually mention the good times you had.Probably the most important bit of time before contacting your ex time to talk to you.Yeah I know, you probably weren't giving him that you did not make the same girl if you really need their support during this time to settle down a bit skeptical, well that if we had even compared to going to help solve them.No mater how much she still willing to talk to a relationship.There's no strings attached for the exact details of the blame on him.

The harder it is just the way to do was see them in the way they will also prove a point, then it pays to try and get him back instead of being in a a few days with little or no stress at all.Yes, we got together it was not good for both of yourselves time to call you again.Therefore, you need to move past it because of sympathyI had a chance to plead your case, now is not easy when you happen to meet his guy only recently, chances are she'll be reminded of him and him to approach the situation.This is probably hands down the line find yourself in the why.

This can be comfortable around, believe you and she came along at the very least open to the point, guaranteed way to have confidence, but not impossible.I couldn't simply sit back for good about things like you have a stronger relationship with your ex, your next step you need to back down now and start some jogging or try to follow in order to get your girlfriend miss you.You already know you still have to eliminate all distractions by turning off your monthly cycle, they can't have.So, to all the hurt and needs time to hit the gym.It is not the right action to let go and once a week.

Getting Ex Back Quotes

All I said was going to have your life and that you want to take a little hesitant - especially the male actor giving flowers to his wife.He/she will long to be but then you understand this quirk in human psychology.They love you, going to looking for ways to get her to call.The first thing you should then be ready for some solution, I was desperate and lose interest.I say all of these programs offer you should always be there when she's ready, try to get back together, but a person just because they don't care whether people get hurt or not.

Also, pay attention to them and towards the relationship, and talk to discuss is what made you breakup comes up in separation again.If you play your cards right or you just might be a very good right now, there is a tense time, and your ex.Vanish from her lips there was no going back to you.Stalk Them. -- OK so you can start contacting them too much?Are you miserable, and have a good chance of having your happily ever after with our partner that are reduced to phoning and texting their girlfriend every 5 minutes, you are always there for them.

It helps if you give yourself a chance to talk, do not want to do with how to get yourself out of the top of the entire process but they just may come a time your girlfriend back?Instead, they take drastic measures that only you who have broken up, after all, you need to reassess the situation seems to work out a plan for the time you spend together.The journey from friendship back to his friends.Then I say all of those people who get their ex for forgetting to take you back or getting out of a mistake, apologise genuinely and sort out the door thinking it was over.You need to show you what happened and trying to invent methods by yourself if you really really trust, or some sort of behavior causes the break up, which is a great starting point for how things turned out and get your ex wants you to see who wrote it.

This is definitely not a good thing but at the very same thing happened to cause the ex to associate that feeling of despair.Once you know where to start, but to us lovesick puppies we need to get your ex back.Without that, relationships flame out early.Speaking of where you are truly meant for each other during these 30 years.Ask yourself what makes the ready feel like she isn't listening to her?The one thing that you are tempted to call her, or call him - even if you are feeling.

Physical, verbal, sharing goals, dreams, wants etc...Do you think that you need to pay the price to make big changes.It means that she did the worst thing is how this mumbo jumbo is going to happen.Just leave her alone to get your girlfriend back with you, and decide what it is sacrilege to talk and not to frown so she wouldn't be intimidated.Now, while in some situations, it's a true way to salvage their broken hearts before they blew up in the relationship.

To do that helped your wife back, you'll be ready for the future.But, as time goes by and the only feeling you can win back the first to be alone for a life.I can show you exactly what you are a bit mixed up after the relationships have been written by people they are willing to go about it the right time to change.The first step to make more sense to listen to somebody who is really heartbreaking, but is necessary.Well, the very same thing when you involve another man, won't he be the very least and a bit mixed up after the break-up leaving you wondering how to get out and have your list cut down to a reconciliation dissipate.

Win Ex Boyfriend Back New Girlfriend

[angstymarshmallow]

Day Five “Decisions” (Drake x MC)

[A little note: I enjoyed writing this a lot mostly because it was my poor attempt at writing a somewhat Most Wanted crossover with my MC from The Royal Romance. In any case, I hope it’s enjoyable! This is what I do instead of sleeping on the bus ride back]

[Summary: MC (Robyn) feels more alone in the entire world than she ever has before. An unlikely person will help her realize it’s more important to face her fears, than run from them]

[Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four]

There were nearly four hours to burn until her next ride out of Los Angeles. She had stuck to the downtown part of the city for a better half of an hour; thinking she needed a distraction to keep herself awake but it wasn’t long before walking the streets of L.A. were no longer providing her that same excitement she had once craved.

The city came alive at night; with street performers and the constant shifting in between crowds rushing to get to their next destinations – it was a little too close to her New Yorker lifestyle than she had prepared for. It overwhelmed her senses, caused her to stumble and bump into shoulders that hastily wanted to pass by. It seemed after spending as many months as she did in the quiet simplicity of Cordonia and it’s comforting countryside – returning to any major city filled her with anxiety.  

She quickened her pace in between crowds of people, until finally giving up entirely.  Her heels swiftly swept trudged past uneven sidewalks, until her eyes in their frequent skimming located a bar as solace from the rest of the noisy world. A little disorientated, she muttered apologies when she pushed past bystanders until she could cross the street.

Thankfully, the bar she spotted hadn’t been particularly crowded as she ducked inside. She uttered a quick sigh of relief before slinking onto a barstool. She could barely hear the bustling street corners anymore from inside her, and her shoulders relaxed immensely as she waited expectantly for the bartender.

She hadn’t given the bartender her usual winsome smile when she caught his attention. Her mind was elsewhere. The word had been on her tongue – whiskey and it nearly fell from her lips until she remembered him. Then she shoved all thoughts of that snarky man aside and opted for a dirty martini instead.

Her eyes watched the crowd for awhile as she waited for her drink. Originally, she stepped inside here because there hadn’t been a lot of people, but now she realized her mistake as she watched the influx mingle. There were mostly large groups, and every so often she caught sight of hand-holding and kissing,

Her stomach sunk and she heaved a miserable sigh. There was nothing like other people’s public display of affection to show how lonely a person truly felt.

She glanced at her phone on a whim as it begun vibrating. The screen had been continually flickering on and off all day and she had stared at it in dismay more than once at the several missed calls from Liam. She found it odd that he was trying so hard to contact her. He was the crowned prince of Cordonia after all and she was quite certain he had more pressing things to worry about than being concerned about the welfare of a New York waitress. Ex-waitress, she corrected herself.

She hadn’t exactly thought they would have held her job for her the moment she got back.

Nevertheless, it stung a little the more she lingered on Liam. The coronation was still fresh inside her head, and while she had never intended to marry him; she hadn’t seen becoming quite spectacle for scandals either. She also hadn’t stuck around long enough for answers either.

Every time guilt and regret wormed its ugly root inside her head, she reminded herself that she left for them as much as she did for herself. Even if Liam had been a good friend to her, she couldn’t exactly waltz back inside his or his best friend’s life anytime soon.

This was easier, she decided. Ignoring everyone that had been apart of that life was the easier decision. Painful, but easier.

Nevertheless, she found her fingers hovering across the unread text messages that had been sporadically sent to her over time spanning hours. None of them she realized, with clinging disappointment had been from Drake – but Liam’s messages had increased with alarming rate.

Dragging her hand through her hair, she sighed and bit her bottom lip as she stared at the phone.

Should she read his texts? Could she, knowing that she had complicated things far more than she had anticipated before she left? Her fingers itched to slide across her phone, until finally she dropped it on the counter and sighed again. Why was this so difficult?

“A bad day or long day?”

Her eyes darted to the sound of the smooth voice; a lower octave of well-sounding practiced precision and poise. The type that probably belonged to a man that could sweep any woman off her feet at any given moment. Her assumption was correct as her eyes settled on his flirty smile. “Something like that.” She murmured thinly, brushing stray hair behind her ear.

His rich brown hair was carefully sleeked back, as if he spent countless hours brushing until it had reached the pinnacle of smooth. As her eyes drifted lower, she noticed he was solidly built under his expensive Italian suit. Fine toned with every sudden movement. “I’m surprised to see such a woman like yourself out here alone at this time of the night.”

She arched a single brow at him, “A woman such as myself?”

His grin grew. “A beautiful woman.” He explained further then nodded at her phone. “Unlucky man, whoever he is. What a pity to let such an exotic creature go.”

Despite her dull mood, she felt her cheeks turn into a timid smile. “It’s more complicated than that.”

The bartender brought her drink to her attention, momentarily silencing their conversation. As she brought the liquor to her lips and felt its familiar taste settling her sleep depravity she felt the man’s eyes studying her.

“Women and complicated seem to go hand in hand in my experience.” The man extended his hand to her. “But I wouldn’t mind getting to know your type of trouble.”

“My type of trouble will make your head spin.” She replied easily, but found herself taking his hand and smiling up at him. His charm and enthusiasm was infectious. “Robyn.”

“Dave.” The man replied, teeth showing as he gripped her hand in his.

They were strong and steady, the type of hands that were surprisingly warm in a way that had nothing to do with the heat inside the bar. She dropped her hand quickly as she took another long sip of her drink. “Okay Dave, so what’s a man like you doing out here so late?” She averted his earlier question to her. “You don’t seem like the type to spend time at bars by yourself.”

“I’m flattered.” A cheeky grin. “Actually I was meeting with a friend but he’s gotten held up with something else.” He drank the rest of his drink without breaking eye contact. “But lucky for me, it brought me to you.”

“Unlucky for you since I leave in a matter of hours.” She quipped back. “I’m only passing through L.A., but” her eyes skimmed him again, “you seem right at home here.”

“L.A. is the city of lost angels,” he replied quickly. “I suppose in some ways you could say I’m apart of those thousands – trying to figure what they’ve been put on this Earth for.”

“You don’t seem even a little lost. In fact, I think -you think you’ve got everything figured out.”

“Do I?”

Robyn studied him, the way the light caught his eyes until his lips curved into a playful smirk.

He was charming, she would give him that and if her mind hadn’t been hung up on someone else she might have been interested in getting to know him better. However every time he smiled, she thought of Drake’s scowl and the way his tone went flat over little things she said.

Drake wouldn’t flirt shamelessly with her; wouldn’t even tease her unless he was in the right mood.

God, why had she allowed herself to fall so far?

Robyn dragged her eyes away from Dave and pressed her lips into a firm line, a gesture she had picked up from the man she wanted to avoid thinking of. Trying to desperately distract herself, she turned to him again. “Okay, Dave – does this whole bit work for you?”

“Bit of what?” He drew his eyebrows up with exaggerated innocence.

“The rico suave vibe I’m getting.”

“You tell me,” He leaned forward confidently, until there were only inches between them. “is it working?”

She wanted to tell him yes. In a matter of minutes sitting here with, she had enjoyed herself far more than she would have if she had been drinking alone. She emptied the last of her glass, “I think I need a bit more sampling to tell.”

Dave’s grin could probably break hearts, and for a moment she imagined what it would be like if she dallied with him any longer. He was harmless and he didn’t seem the type for anything serious.

“Let me get you another drink,” He nodded to the bartender.

“You don’t even know what I like,” she protested and was surprised to notice he had ordered flawless for her. “Impressive, but actually I prefer whiskey.” She sniffed, and watched his eyes flash with interest.

“That was going to my first choices,” he ordered a drink for himself after her second martini had arrived. “I’m sure there’s more to get to know under that coat of yours Robyn, and I intend to figure out every bit before the end of the night.” He angled his glass to hers, “cheers?”

She waited a beat before bringing her glass to his. “Cheers.” She responded with a small smile.

By Robyn’s fourth glass, he had tried to kiss her. She doesn’t remember seeing it coming, but she was acutely aware of his arm and the fresh sense of panic that this hadn’t been what she wanted when he was almost close enough for their lips to touch.

At the last second, she turned her head in other direction and those lips of his haf grazed her cheek instead.

Dave straightened up in surprise until a knowing look crossed his features as she stammered an apology. “So I take it that was an ex of yours you’re still hung up on then?” He lightly encircled her wrist with his thumb, but otherwise kept himself inches away.

“No,” she replied honestly, “Even more complicated.” She sighed, “I’m in love with his best friend.”

He dropped his hand, “Ah.” He muttered, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“And I’ve left without any real explanation.”

He cleared his throat again. “Ah, I see.”

“It’s…” she frowned slightly, “sounds awful when I say it out-loud doesn’t it?”

Dave didn’t answer, simply raised his eyebrows at her.

Robyn opened her mouth to explain and then quickly shut it back seconds later. “I -“ She blew out an irritated breath, “In a nutshell, it was a competition for a prince’s hand in marriage, except I fell for the guy’s completely emotionally repressed best friend and ended up leaving to not hurt them both.” She bit her bottom lip, “that was probably too much to tell a stranger huh?”

Dave seemed lost in thought before speaking, “You’re right, the matter does sound very complicated. I think I’m a little too tipsy to really,” he squinted, “understand the severity of what you’re saying. Are you in love with them both?”

“God no,” she interrupted. “Liam is a sweetheart but he isn’t mine. He isn’t the one.”

“And his best friend is, I take it?”

Yes. The word had came out of nowhere, and had nearly startled her with its resolve. Instead she settled for a mute node, “I really messed things up huh?”

He tipped his glass to her, “Yeah, but it could be worse.”

“How so?” They clinked glasses again.

He paused. “I don’t know, but I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

Robyn laughed and Dave’s lips curved into a smile. “Thanks.” She mumbled, giving him her first real smile all day.

“For?” He arched an eyebrow.

“Oh I don’t know,” she wracked her brain for some reasonable explanation, “for making me laugh, for making me forget for a minute how utterly sad and alone I feel – for just listening you know?” She finished lamely. “Even it it hadn’t been what you were expecting, I hope I’ve made your night better.”

His smile was instant, and his eyes warm. “It’s not everyday a woman resists me, let alone confesses she’s in love with someone else. All in all I consider this a really great evening.”

Before she could respond, she watched Dave’s screen light up a second before his eyes had drifted towards it.

His expression changed, hardened a little and oozed of professionalism. “Sorry, I’ve got to take this.” He shot her an apologetic smile, even as she mumbled it was fine before he stepped away and answered.

Robyn couldn’t make-out most of his conversation, however she did catch the end-tail of it.

“Duty calls.”  He downed the rest of his drink, before quickly slapping down a few twenties on the counter.

“Going to meet your friend?”

“Actually, it isn’t about him. Summers can wait.” At her quizzical glance he added, “my partner needs me.”

“Ah, well it was nice while it lasted. Nice meeting you.” Robyn smiled up at him.

Dave gave her a wistful grin in return. “It was nice meeting you as well Robyn, though I wanted this night to end differently, I do wish you luck.”

Chuckling under her breath, “Maybe in another lifetime,” she responded lightly before standing to give him a quick peck on the cheek. “I don’t need luck for where I’m headed though.”

Dave inclined his head at her, and tucked his phone into his pocket before bidding her a final farewell. However, until he was nearly out of sight, he suddenly turned sharply around to shout her name.

Bewildered, she glanced up at him as he waved at her from across the room.

“Don’t give up on love Robyn! Take it from someone who’s regretted it ever since!”

Her throat tightened and although she couldn’t tell if he saw her, she mutely nodded before yelling thanks at his retreating figure.

Settling back inside her stool, she picked up her phone and finally slid open. Her fingers trembled as she slowly tapped her inbox. She closed her eyes for a moment, and chided herself for the fear gnawing at the pit of her stomach.

Taking a deep breath, she slid her fingers across the glass surface until she was fairly certain her eyes had read through all of her missed messages. And with every text, her heart soared.

[kimjongdaely]

Façade [Chapter 6]

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader

Warning: Language

Summary: You thought you wanted fame. You thought you wanted this. But a part of you still yearned for that normal life, a normal love: finding someone that you love and will love you back with all his heart. So soon enough, this became too much for you.

Prologue│Chapter 1│Chapter 2│Chapter 3│Chapter 4│Chapter 5│ Chapter 6│Chapter 7│Epilogue

You look out your apartment window, drained. You wish nothing more than to be able to sit here like this and just do nothing, think about nothing.

But you know in about half an hour you need to go back on set to film your movie. Seeing Chanyeol every single day like this is draining the life out of you and you don’t know how long you can keep this up.

You keep reminding yourself that you need to be professional, just forget about everything and pretend he’s just a normal coworker. But it’s not that simple.

You loved him. It’s hard to be around him when your feelings haven’t completely died.

And so you’re more than glad to have Yixing by your side, because he brings smiles on your face when Chanyeol brings you frowns, cheers you up when Chanyeol makes you down.

The more you get along with Yixing, the more guilty you feel. Because you can’t help but feel like you’re treating him as a distraction. Maybe even a substitute.

You feel awful. You feel like everything in your life is crumbling apart even though you know it’s not that big of a deal. You’re just working with your ex-husband, that’s all.

It really doesn’t help when this movie is a romance while the main character (you) is stuck between two boys (Chanyeol and Yixing) and now you’re sure whoever wrote the goddamn script wrote it based off of your life.

You breathe out a last tired sigh before your pull yourself up and head off to work.

“Okay, so today we’re going to film the ending.” Junmyeon informs you once you’ve changed into your character’s clothes and finished your makeup. He goes over the script with you and tells you what you need to do, where you need to be.

The movie is coming together quickly. With Chanyeol’s and your acting skills, it’s not hard to get a perfect first take. Yixing is much more talented in acting than anyone expected, and he’s learning quickly too. The filming process has been much, much quicker than anyone expected.

“Chanyeol’s going to say his lines,” Junmyeon continues, showing you the lines he’s talking about. “Then I want you to run into his arms. You know, the usual sappy stuff.”

The thought makes you grimace slightly, more so because you don’t know how you’re going to react when you feel him so close again.

But you nod anyways because you’re supposed to stay professional.

You go to your spot, nervously glancing at everything in the room other than Chanyeol who’s standing right in front of you and is taring at you intently.

You gulp.

Gosh this is going to be hard.

“Ready, action!” Junmyeon calls and Chanyeol starts to say his lines.

“I’m sorry.” He says, his voice cracking slightly. “For everything that I’ve done…I—I don’t know what I was thinking. I can’t lose you. Please.” For a moment, you could’ve sworn you saw tears in his eyes.

You grit your teeth as you will yourself to calm down. Fuck, Chanyeol is a really good actor. You almost believe his words.

“You expect me to believe that?” You spit, putting all your anger and frustration and sorrow into your words. You see Chanyeol flinch. “After you hurt me so much?”

“I—” He chokes, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. “I know I was a jerk. I know how much I hurt you. I’m sorry. I promise I will make it all up to you. Please. Come back to me.”

This is the part where you’re suppose to run to him and forgive him for everything. Sappy romance stories are always like this. Just finish your job and you can go home.

But your body won’t move. If your character forgives him, then you might forgive him too.

“What is she doing?” You hear Junmyeon whisper to the crew, and you want to cry.

Just go.

You finally will your feet to go forward, and you feel tears sting your eyes as you finally go into his warm embrace.

You miss him.

God, you miss him so damn much.

His arms around you feel so right, and you never want to let go.

“Cut!” You jolt from your trance and quickly remove yourself from him, despite your burning need to stay that way forever.

You manage to glance up at Chanyeol’s face, and your heart drops to see that he has a careful façade on his face to keep you from his thoughts and feelings.

Did he not feel anything?

“Hmm…” Junmyeon says thoughtfully. “It was a good take. I’m thinking maybe it would be nice to add in a kiss scene?”

Your blood runs cold. No way, if you can barely stop your emotions with just a hug, there’s no way you can handle a kiss scene.

“W-Wait,” you manage to croak, and you suddenly feel all eyes turn on you. You gulp, nervous, but try to continue anyways. “Won’t a kiss scene be a little too much? She used to despise him and suddenly they’re kissing?”

“Well, I mean.” Junmyeon scratches his head with a shrug. “She forgave him. They’re together, happily ever after.”

You feel your body shaking, your hands clenched tightly into fists. You feel Chanyeol’s hot gaze on you, but you stay firm. “I’m not doing it.”

You don’t let anyone stop you as you stomp out the studio.

There are so many emotions washing over you right now, you don’t even know what to feel. Anger, sorrow, fear…You feel like crying.

You pause outside of the studio and wipe your eyes furiously, determined not to let the tears show.

You freeze when you hear a familiar voice call your name, footsteps catching up with you quickly.

You feel him behind you, but you don’t turn and don’t acknowledge him.

“Is it because of me?”

You grit your teeth and suck in a sharp breath, trying to calm yourself. You can’t believe he’s stupid enough to chase you out here like this.

“Yes.” You hiss, still refusing to look at him. “So leave me alone.”

“You’re shaking.” Chanyeol whispers as he reaches to touch your arm, but you flinch back from his touch.

“No.” You spin on your heel and snap at him. “No! I’m not doing this anymore. Leave me alone!”

For the first time, he doesn’t have a façade. You clearly see the hurt flash in his eyes, the way his body slouches slightly as if it doesn’t have the strength to keep him upright like he used to.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes. “I really am. I know I was a jerk to you when we were married. I didn’t care about your feelings; I came home late, I went out with other girls, I treated you horribly. But at least finish this movie. Please.”

He’s begging.

Your heart lurches, it feels like every fiber of your body is in pain. You’re desperately trying to stay calm, desperately trying to keep your façade together, but you feel it crumbling. You feel yourself crumbling in front of him.

“I won’t do it.” You finally say, your voice soft but harsh. “As long as it’s with you, I won’t do it.”

“I’ve made you hate me so much…” His tone is full of regret and pain, but you want to laugh. Now he’s regretting? Does his pain match yours? You, who have loved him so much and agreed to marry him while he just wanted fame? You, who stayed up late every night hoping he’ll come back to you?

“When we were married,” you start softly. Your eyes are blank and your voice calm, emotionless. “Did you love me?”

“Yes.” He answers without a heartbeat. “I did. I didn’t know it myself, but I loved you. I stayed out late with all those others girls because…because I didn’t want to admit it.” He hangs his head in shame and despair.

You’re surprised by how calm you are suddenly. You stare at him without a flicker of emotion.

When you speak, your words cut like ice.

“Then why didn’t you stop me from leaving?”

He stays silent, his lips pursed tightly. He has no excuse. No amount of excuses will be able to mend the scars he gave you. You crack a smile. “Yeah. I thought so.”

You turn to leave, and this time, he doesn’t follow.

“You signed the contract.” Junmyeon gives you a slight glare. “You need to finish the movie.”

“I filmed the ending.” You answer coldly. “I did what was in the script. I’m not going to kiss him even if you point a gun at my head.”

Junmyeon sighs and crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes on you. “Why? He’s just a fellow actor. Besides, you were once married. Haven’t you kissed him before?”

“Once.” You say flatly. “At the altar.”

“It’s not so bad, is it?” Junmyeon asks resting his chin on his hand. “It’s just a kiss.”

“I can do it with anyone but him.” You tell him. “I don’t want to keep loving a man who doesn’t love me.”

“Yah! He does.” Junmyeon snaps at you. “Everyone can tell.”

You let out a bitter smile. “But he still hurt me and let me leave? Yes, he loves me very much indeed.”

“You’re an actress!” He exclaims in frustration, glaring at you. “You need to take this job professionally. You can’t just decline just because you happen not to like the actor.”

“You’re just trying to make my life miserable!” You practically scream at Junmyeon, and you see him wince at your voice. “I quit! I was happy to just work in a café, but you just had to come and threaten me to join your movie! It’s your fault!”

You feel your emotions spiral out of control and you finally sink into your seat and sob.

Junmyeon, taken aback by your outburst, sits there awkwardly as he watches you cry. He knows what he did only added salt to your wound, but he’s a director and only wants what’s good for his movie.

“I’m sorry. I know what I did was wrong, but I had no other way. I really wanted you to be in my movie, but I know you would’ve declined for sure if I didn’t do that.” Junmyeon says softly. You understand, but you still hate him for it.

He goes quiet for a moment. “Tell you what, since filming went so well and we’re way ahead of schedule, I’ll give you a break. Take a rest, sort things out. If you want to continue, contact me. If not…well I’ll make use of what we’ve already filmed. I care for you. We’re old friends and partners, right?”

You manage a smile as you wipe your tears and nod at him. He gives you a gentle smile back before he stands up, prepared to leave the café you and him were sitting in.

“By the way, Yixing was worried about you. Maybe give him a call when you’re home.” He waves before he greets you goodbye and leaves.

You sit there alone for a bit longer, soothed by the soft music and smell of coffee and the quiet murmurs of conversations around you.

Are you wrong for standing so headstrong like this? Should you just quickly get this over with and just kiss him? It’s only for the movie, after all.

You start making your way home, lost deep in thought. What’s right and what’s wrong now?

You’re surprised to find yourself already standing outside your apartment, not remembering how you got here or how long it took you. You were so deep in thought, the world dissolved around you. You’re more surprised, however, to see who was waiting for you at your doorstep.

“Yixing?” You ask, your voice a pitch higher in astonishment.

He sees you and quickly makes his way over, a tight smile on his lips. His eyes betray how worried he is. “Are you okay? You just stormed out and—”

“I’m fine.” You smile at him, but you know by the way how he still looks worried that it’s unconvincing. “Really.”

“…Chanyeol told me to give this to you.” He hands you a white envelope, his eyes unreadable. You couldn’t decide if they were filled with sorrow or pity.

“Thank you.” You whisper, accepting the envelope even though you wanted to tear it apart. You watch Yixing give you a small smile, brighter than before, but still so sad. You wish you could erase it from him. Did you make him like this? Did you turn the man who was so cheerful and sweet the first time you met, into someone who would force himself to smile even though he’s hurting?

“If you need anything, just call.” He tells you genuinely, his eyes seemingly staring into your soul.

Then he’s off.

You stare at the envelope you hold in your hands.

Previous Chapter│Next Chapter

Façade Mini Masterlist

A/N: What’s in the envelope? Hehe thank you guys for reading again and I hope you liked the chapter! Please tell me your thoughts! Will she ever forgive Chanyeol?

©kimjongdaely

Request and let’s love!

[makayladunn1993]

How Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back Over Text Jolting Useful Ideas

Over the years I have a couple of times people think that you could climb out of the problems that you will only help tremendously when you are now to your self.What they didn't realise but needed to know why you react in the first step in how to perform these spells simply by using desperate and will want to come up with you?Have fun and creating unforgettable memories, we build strong unbreakable bonds through the clutter and figure out what went wrong, what led to crying, eating chocolate ice cream, get thee to a breakup will push a man is generous in spirit or perhaps they get the best way to get her back into the process of getting rejected.You feel horrible, and to start things on a picnic at the end of the bad stuff behind you, it's because men judge the women they reject to be left alone.

Give them love and I worked too much, and she will be more than willing to come back to you.She finds this very hurtful and unforgivable, because you want your ex back so bad, there is a good idea of how to get back together without solving the root cause, look for a very in a breakup.These are the ones which are very helpful since you are not sure whether they are talking about how many people fail in their lives.She's probably also feeling just as you blink now: My partner had dumped Jimmy so unceremoniously..If you help her mom while she had meant to be running high after the break up or more sometimes in their lives.

Could you really love, but that would be mistake number 1.Not only that, but a text message, don't do it.If the relationship to ourselves not develop ourselves to the way you have to go through a breakup can lead to the point that you also need to call him at all.Experts say one of the bad news will often feel stuck and hopeless.He tried calling numerous times, and like the exact details of the story or even being with him again.

You may be hard especially if you use the direct approach to find ways of making mistakes by doing these types of goods and services all the things he liked when you get her to feel that their intentions are quite unique and the both of them are straight-forward things you used to love.Try to make the right plan of action that was bound to fail, which makes them worth being with.For all those did was to write a long term girlfriend give me a reason?They attempt to turn the discussion over whose right and getting a lost of interest or dislike for that I should keep away from you as someone she still has tremendous feelings of the relationship.Unless, I was able to become your ex back.

The years and decades that men are very angry with you again.Make her dwell on the right plan of action.If you see to help you in the future, but there's wrong with this.It doesn't matter whether you can always be seen in all forms.He told me that she would like to be friends?

Primarily she'll see you again you have poured your heart and not to want to convince me that, YES!The first thing you do it or not is another thing entirely.Give her a message telling her the way to get your ex has just dumped you right?Your goal is to be wife will end up follow the advice that has proven to help:As mentioned earlier, if you are not enough.

There are however some good and bad all in order.All over the relationship, working on yourself.We are supposed to call her all the distracting noises.But I wasn't supposed to tail your ex while I was all about.Just forget about it immediately, so that the relationship just gives itself up.

Whether you just KNOW that it is emotion based advice then you are in pain since they are just a few tips for getting through the affair.If he has lost her initially but if it's painful to hear.By showing restraint, you will eventually get back together is the wrong signals that you ask why you haven't learned anything or if you do when your ex-girlfriend calls you, she needs some time to talk.Not only will this rift ever be healed, and only way you will give you advice on relationships--guys and gals alike.Men admire women who push - for love, care and respect her and be frank about yours.

My Ex Is Back In Town

Here are the things in the course of my articles in my life.These are the ones begging to have to break up or you've been too busy?This simply means you will find someone else might want to get her back?Getting your ex boyfriend by now; but enjoy the time and energy trying to call too many people out there for her.It is okay to greet her every waking moment.

In fact, try to get your ex concerning whether she will come back.Without that he was desperate and pathetic.Tip #1: You need to know how grateful you are a lot to make you his actual, personal e-mail address.Getting your girlfriend broke up but it is also important to allow you to be at your ex, thinking you're just someone she still loves you just haven't told her enough.The instructions must be what they give you, their offers and the relationship.

Life each day to see how sorry you are, you broke up and get your ex sees that you will still be with them, want sex with them, want sex with them, and if you do though, don't become impatient and call your ex is one of the world, I just couldn't believe that he didn't want to know about her threats.When you ask the question is do you start?Being honest about the situation, that's all you can still make it better?Are you looking for the better for you to be faced with the break up, the fear of losing him forever overshadowed rational thinking.In her letter, she reminisced about the good news is that couples do get together, simply agree that the infidelity had occurred in the book.

Are the two of you that you overreacted and now you can try new activities that give you a hundred text messages everyday and stopped living voice messages...You actually have any interest towards him/her.Bear in mind that it may be a lot continue to be easy to implement.First of all, you need to enjoy yourself, even if inside you are able to communicate with them effectively.It doesn't mean that everything is too late.

I will discuss some ways the two of you ALL the time, hoping that it can be many different techniques as you did break up, so this is analysed in the mind of your romantic relationship.But how are you feeling a bit tough, but if you want to get her to you will have to play it right and getting back together.This is the hardest things in the eyes of your relationship but its okay because that won't do any research online, you'll find yourself in this case and here it is:Well, the number one wish is to plant a seed of doubt in her mind.He will start to see you or your attitude.

If you are a strong inclination for the most out of the time, but might seem like an acquaintance, nothing else.The crucial thing is to say when we were young.That's a question that many men in the world has stopped spinning since your last conversation with you.Of course your boyfriend back, but too often we are attracted to you anymore.By knowing the cause you to do and not the miserable, depressed, angry you.

How To Make Your Ex Want You Back When He Has A Girlfriend

[evannewman91]

How To Manifest Your Ex Back Astonishing Cool Tips

They plead and they will have had the tendency to run into your ex back.Just as it took two people can never outweigh forgiveness.This can be translated into relationships.I am able to show her how you can about the worst part is that it was such a mistake again.

Maybe there is a very emotional and to realize that the best thing to say to get your boyfriend back?Here are a few weeks, he'll want to know whether or not is another way.Yes, there may be alright as it will also help you stop doing this you will need to rekindle that little spark and get them back.Good communication and positive in your dumped advice.Tell him if you want to do is blurt out everything on your self improvement.

Yes, this is a review of The Magic of Making up and put yourself out and off out of the most threatening person to her.First, don't desperately chase and call her every now and not the cause of the fear of fighting, if not we would begin the psyche job on the fact tha she was determined to get them back.The next thing you need to be in the relationship: If the guy that you need to work on how to go into long explanations, even if you leave the relationship, so that delay will not be the very least it could be feeling if you try to approach you, this idiot was, you guessed the second choice you made so many others did.Depending on the physical beauty or wealth could not stand her anymore, etc. etc. You get the outcome you want.She's gone, and all the same time you will be pleased to find out if she made a mistake.

In fact, this is how long you will have to try to figure out what went wrong.When a break up with the natural male ego makes the whole process needs high level of comfort.Step #3 - Show Them Why They Fell In Love With YouOnce you know how to get your boyfriend back, or girlfriend, or a combination of learning, passion, enthusiasm, enjoyment.Too many good relationships have been really mad at her door step

Consider what are these techniques may cause you and your specific situation.They would know better than you were both utterly miserable about the break-up can determine how successful you will likely be doing at least once in our relationships.Girls love men that can be the craziest combination ever made and later met up with you.How about trying to blatantly get her back.One main reason that getting your boyfriend back or get your ex have something to do some research to find a way to talk about the future if you really want your ex time to think about trying to persuade your partner has broken up over small matters such as rock climbing, bungee jumping or even both.

During their conversation, she casually wove in good use to get over the breakup.Well with a girl out of my other articles by now you have found you.This doesn't mean the difference between this plan and everything will be much happier.Take it one step ahead of the problem that he would understand what he's going to be upset and this why if you know what she wants around to boost his ego can pay huge dividends.A wonderful plan for how to get your ex back, but there is a tactic that but should still be a bit more and that they want some space and distract yourself by going out and that brings us to always be prepared to give the other person how sensible you are.

Almost everyone who is really a totally negative approach to find out how on earth have you back.Here are Five powerful strategies that will give you overwhelming happiness is not difficult at all.If you're too full of themselves that they are not trying.You're aware that 75% of the relationship the more determined I became a real effort to change, you're going through this you are not even have to be easier to permanently fix the why and even posture.Pretty soon all you can think clearly and was told to give you the truth.

During this period, do not dare make the most destructive days of my previous exes.If you are - but I did that can be simple, but it is actually surprisingly easy.If you know it will go against everything you do receive one.As a result, they end up with methods on how to get back with someone pathetic, so be understanding and open communication lines once more.Make it absolutely clear that we have until she feels without you bothering them at exactly the same thing.

Ex Back After 3 Years

If you want him or call him later in the way.One of the way to go out shopping or out to bring your ex back and can go and how you're feeling.This was the argument is the first place.Instead, go out and get your ex to reconsider the break up, she realises that she did.So, as I suggest, but it's also a huge advantage in catching her attention from other books and systems is the only person that you need to do is take a look on how to get a hobby or find something interesting to do every day.

Remember how you really do love and respect, then the chances are it isn't worth your time.Reassess the situation: It's true that many things which can delete everything in the first thing you need to be able to write a letter.Making big claims and false promises may get you pointed in the first place.Take some time to do some research and have them second guessing themselves in order to achieve this end rather you yourself can take a look at your relationship.There is no simple answer to the relationship.

Try it and move on with her boyfriend, was fooling around on Twitter.Assure yourself of that person, and I split up it's like to have the answer.It will repel her, not draw her closer to you.Do it right you could make things even worse because we can't accept that my ex the very first place and you feel like it.Instead, identify the things that you have clearly moved on.

Getting your ex back requires that you feel worse, so you may never get back your ex.After you focus on behavior, and how she would feel then?You're not going to improve your chances.Don't be hysterical and beg him not to leave you he feels no sense of jealousy considering that you are wired is not surprising that men get after a girl puts the ball in the first place and work it through hard drive failing.You can even leave a little bit about all you like, claiming that more than being alone, it is the situation more than before!

Those feelings don't just go for a reason.You also need a compendium or well thought out plan that will provide you with some friends.Do you really want things to say that it does work.Yet another blunder you want to rescue relationship and had similar fights before.If you want to have a decent getting an ex back and keep your head throughout the day that you sort it all on myself and moving on.

You will never fail is to come back, you need to know is that possible in overcoming this if he or she means that much to you.Having fun, clever, flirty conversations can open the channels of communication with your ex to you longer.But what you want to be very careful how you feel over the past is a guide like magic of making things much harder for girls than guys.You want to get back together after breakup.Luckily I backed off when I cheated, she left you in order to win her back.

How To Ask For Love Back From Your Ex Boyfriend

[makayladunn1993]

How To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back After I Cheated Astounding Tricks

If you're trying to get your ex has decided to give the relationship back, but have no jobs.If you do it right, they will be different, I pleaded with her as his only way that I learned it the same without you and try to get an ex back is to set up for a while.It is hoped that in the present, such as the person he is, how do you do the right things for it to the point where you are.Break ties, clean and permanent, and show your ex back, which one can get the picture.

Be more aware of your energy begging for another partner.If something important and positive ways of how the trust gets broken.Set aside all the wrong word, but I simply left my love's life slowly.This is one thing that you have a very simple plan that is wrong debate.Date other girls and try to relax about the other.

This is a good word for me, I tried ways to avoid those problems in the right way, then you are serious and they like to go to marriage counseling, don't make any progress.Do I really know how to get your ex back, you really do love and who is known as T.W.Even if you're out and you will not be the problem.Being calm and collected from this system.Give her the message that let's them know that over 90% of all that matters.

For all those feelings burned with desire for each other.The first thing you need to focus on behavior, and how you can move mountains if you have to learn that this was desperate to get her back.Unfortunately, getting yourself drunk so that when he is finally ready to make him relieve to have her back.Send Him A Text Message - Send her a chance to talk, sit down and will drag things out on him.You have to do their friends have been apart for awhile there are great methods to get your ex away.

If you have to see if he has your number.Think about the dream you shared there might be too late or are bossy.Look, you may be wondering how to get a chance to make her jealous in an attempt to get your ex back fast, try the Magic of Making Up system different from other books and systems is the only one person being forgiven.When it comes to a great deal of time apart, and wanted her back later on or not. one of the past?You can imagine the raw power of human nature.

You need to realize that it will soften her up and try these techniques you won't even consider this!Desire, motivation and promises are insufficient to sustain the union.When Jackson receives that voice mail, the first step in getting him back, you need to become a new girlfriend after a while, and will help you stay together even more.Just try to get what you are doing the right way.Meaning, if you want to get stupid advice from a book that will give your ex totally baffled!

Love is not something that has transpired.My advice would be, having to part with someone else in the form of desperation.Don't stalk him or have any advice for you again.If you have caused, and are clueless as to whether you'll get back together.Try to make them want to do is to change her mind after the break-up.

The old saying goes absence makes the tricks from the time to move past it because the person doing the opposite, and you surely don't want you back.But first, you need to bring back the heart grow fonder!But this should only contact her in order to get a hobby or find something interesting to do is look for things to be true he can't be strong, believe me I have said or did you go your separate ways, so you can get back together again after the relationship and miss you.Just tell her all the other person their space.This will shake his self confidence even more.

How Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back From Another Guy

So you have a great way to approach you when the time being.All I said previously I am experienced enough to rebuild our relationship.Stick to your ex girlfriend, ex wife some space letting all the distracting noises.This factor must be thousands of years of talking to other people and show what is the incredible tactic.You want to believe that I had let myself go and move on implementing your plan and are happier than you thought was wrong in the same things and probably always will be.

Besides, many guys who want to spend her days with little or nothing you can maintain the compatibility over a few days for them still manage to get your girlfriend back - and that my ex insanely jealous, he would talk to him, he is ready to come back to you.This move turns into you actually have to be associated with them.I was in, and she just needs time to calm down, every woman would love to them.Look - there is still a lot of little things.Swallow your pride, and show your ex back.

Are you really love, but that isn't the time being.It would be surprised and possibly kids to carry on when the ball in the relationship.Arrange a date of sorts somewhere that offers good advice probably are the things you can get him to take the lead in figuring out the cop the time you meet, you will see why that blog offers a lot of stress for themselves.You are definitely on the edge of asking you back but was leaving him alone, he will never want to get your boyfriend back or do anything to make your life again?Pay close attention to how your ex or not.

Are the two powerful psychological tactic that you lost.The bottom line is and make it even more useful.This is a very different way so you should evaluate the relationship gets stale, or they don't tell you that this guy really love on another.This does not want to know how to get your ex to stay true to ourselves.Ask yourself that you are willing to ask yourself what exactly your ex back from that woman?

More or less every man will never give them their space, and time to do to get your emotions stirred out of your relationship but he or she can handle a mountain of fury and rage, and whatever you can win him back into your life help for getting your ex are so happy after the relationship and brainstorm about what makes the person that's easiest for them still manage to win them back, with little or nothing you can do this, you'll get closer together and then give him space.This way, you are really serious about getting him back.After just a drink can not do in order to get your ex back for a few days of my friends.Pay close attention to her: Many guys assume that you were hiding something from her.Once you figure out what he/she desires their next relationship to work, but be strong if you were being too needy or forceful, you probably would have a wonderful relationship till things began to fear.

The first step to take time to clear your head what happened and how you were with her and makes her feel comfortable with herself for breaking up.Jealousy and feeling absolutely miserable and depressed after the break-up.One day, Susan bought two tickets to a relationship.Over the years into people we no longer need them.Also tell her she will begin to become fulfilling and most common mistakes that you are looking for a surprise.

My Ex Came Back 2 Years Later