#like it causes me anxiety to think i might have to give up my fair amount so someone else has a fair share

[fakeoutbf]

.

[featherandferns]

daylight - six

jj maybank x fem!reader | part 6 of the daylight series | read part 5 here

content warnings: sexual content (m receiving)

word count: 2.8k.

blurb: seemingly not put-off from your last encounter, JJ comes by your house and studies your photographs. There's one within the mix that makes something click in JJ's head.

“Mimsy, it was humiliating,” you groan through the camera. 

She cringes. “I mean…yeah, that is pretty rough.”

“Ah!” you cry, tossing your head into your hands. 

“What was up? Were you not turned on?”

“Of course I was!” you argue, offended at the insulation that JJ wasn’t sex walking. “I just got all in my head, and the dark and Tyler and–”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Mimsy interrupts. You brave a glance at her on the facetime call. “You were thinking of Tyler whilst hot-mechanic-man was going down on you?”

“Well, we never got that far,” you mumble. 

Mimsy silences you with a look. “Why were you thinking of Tyler?”

You sigh and shake your head. Once more, your eyes dart down to the shoebox. “I don’t know,” you admit. “I just felt like I was back in that room with him all over again in December. The confusion and the–”

“Are you sure Tyler never assaulted you?” Mimsy checks. Despite her careless questioning, you know it comes from a place of concern. 

“Yes, I’m sure,” you say. “I mean, his emphasis on consent was honestly one of his finer features. One time I nodded and he went ‘no, no, you gotta use your words’.”

“Condescending prickhole,” Mimsy mutters bitterly. 

Eyebrows raised, mildly alarmed, you say, “well, yes, he was, but he was an consent advocate.”

“Gee, someone give him a gold medal. The bar really is on the fucking floor.”

You click your fingers. Mimsy could get lost in her anti-Tyler spiel easily. “Can we stay on task, please? What the hell is wrong with my body!?”

“Alright, one sec,” Mimsy says. You watch as she types away on her laptop, halfway in shot. “Okay, Google, what have you got?”

Waiting anxiously as Mimsy puruses the web, she makes a ‘eureka’ type sound. 

“Well if it makes you feel any better, apparently around seventeen percent of women aged eighteen to fifty experience vaginal dryness problems during sex. So you’re not a freak - yay!”

“Thank you for that,” you grumble. “What else does it say? Does it say why it happens?”

“Not being turned on enough is the leading cause. Insufficient foreplay type things,” Mimsy reads. 

You shake your head, fingers pressed to your lips in thought. “No, I was definitely turned it on. It was only when he was no longer kissing me and stuff…”

“Is that when the Tyler thoughts started?” Mimsy wonders. 

You nod. 

“Alright, well, other reasons are psychological. Stress, anxiety, that kind of thing. You think that might be it?”

“Maybe,” you muse. Before you can try to expand your thoughts, Mimsy’s phone chimes. She momentarily disappears as she reads the text, and you watch as she gets up in a rush. “You good?”

“Darren hit me up. He said he’ll be here in five.”

“Wait, Darren?” you gape. “Since when were you hooking up with Darren?”

“Like a week ago, at this beach get-together. He’s gotten cuter, y’know? Works out and stuff now,” she grins cheeky at the camera, licking her teeth.

It's times like these that you realise how much your lives are already changing without the other knowing. Most of the time it's easy to ignore, but every now and then the FOMO is relentless and jealousy tries to rear its ugly head. 

“Right, I gotta dash. I need to check I’m nice and clean shaven.”

“T.M.I. Mimsy. We need some boundaries."

“Yeah, you’re right,” Mimsy says before deadpanning: “have fun navigating your dry vagina.”

“Fair point,” you mumble. With that, Mimsy disappears from your screen.

You mindlessly meddle on Instagram, editing your latest post - a picture of the Pogues you took a few weeks ago - and scrolling through the feed. A text notification appears. It’s JJ.

Let me in. 

Frowning, you reply. 

Hello?? 

I’m outside lol. Let me in. 

Frown deepening, you ditch your phone and rush down the stairs. Sure enough, when you open the door, JJ’s there. He’s wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and those same damned combat boots. No cap, messy tendrils of hair sticking out any which way. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I was bored.”

“Oh,” you reply. JJ had never come into your house before. Always picked you up or dropped you off outside. “Well, come in, I guess.”

JJ gladly does so. Wanders through the doorway, hands in his pockets. 

“What you been up to today?” you wonder. 

“Went to Heyward’s with Pope to earn a couple bucks,” JJ says as he eyes up the decor. Most things are unpacked now, having been in Kildare for almost two months. Faux family photos line the mantle of the fire which doesn’t work. JJ peruses them. “You were a cute kid.”

“Thanks,” you say. “You want a drink or something?”

“Nah, I’m good,” he says, pulling out his flask. You roll your eyes as he takes a swig of what you assume is whiskey. “Where your parents at?”

“Trying to rekindle their romance on a weekend trip to my uncle’s place,” you say. “I was just gonna edit the last lot of photos I took at Kook Club.”

“They any good?” he asks. 

The two of you had worked the latest Gala dinner. It had been to “raise money” for the already pristine, state-of-the-art tennis courts. Whilst they were charging guests a thousand dollars per ticket, you and JJ left with less than a hundred bucks for ten hours worth of work. 

“They’re alright. Rafe and his posse are in the back of a bunch, sneaking drinks, so I need to edit that crap out,” you huff. You start up the stairs and JJ follows. Opening the door, you guide JJ into your bedroom. 

“Ta da,” you say. “My humble abode.”

“Cute bear,” JJ teases, pointedly looking at your well-cuddled stuffie.

You rush to grab him, hiding him under the pillow and nervously laughing when you turn back to him. 

His eyes gravitate to your pinboard of pictures. A collection of your favourites. Friends mostly, with about two of your parents. Lots of Vancouver. The Pogues. JJ. Things you took whilst people-watching. Most of the photos are pictures of the neighbourhood and town. Beaches and trees and people going about their days. Boats bobbing on water and fisherman dragging up crab-cages. Children biking down the street and old couples sat on their porches like something from a Suburbia advert in the fifties. There’s an intrigued slant to his brow as he takes in the world you see. 

Then, JJ plucks one from the masses and holds it with care, something seemingly unnatural for someone so energetic. You can’t help but study him as he studies your picture. It’s one you took almost two weeks ago, of a man that you saw smoking a cigarette outside of a dive bar. There was something about him that seemed so tired and worn, like he’d wasted his happiness on something unforgiving. JJ’s smile fades. There’s an urge to ask him if he's okay, though you’re not sure why. 

He returns it to the board and deliberates over some more. You try and think of something to say but come up with nothing. 

“These are really good,” JJ absent-mindedly tells you, eyes trained on the pictures. 

“Thanks.”

JJ smiles at the one you took of him. It’s a strange smile: like he’s surprised by his own candidness. Then he physically freezes. You follow his trained vision to a picture hidden under layers. Oh no. 

“Is that…”

JJ takes it from the board, careful not to disturb the others, and stares at it for a painful length of time. All you can do is fidget nervously, eyes wide, and watch him piece together the picture. Frowning, he holds it up to you as he turns. 

“When did you take this?”

“Um…”

It’s of him, laughing from afar, standing before a sunsetting sky, the sea in the distance. You try to grab it off him but his reflexes are too fast. JJ holds it above his head, out of your reach. 

“Just one time at the beach.”

“Nuh-uh,” JJ says, a grin starting to unfurl. “You’re lying. When’d you take this? I don’t remember you taking this.”

“Just a dumb candid I got at this kegger one time. It was ages ago,” you hurriedly say. 

And all the puzzle pieces click in JJ’s mind. The grin comes through in full effect and he points a finger in your face. Your stomach sinks through the floor. 

“It was you!”

“W-what?” you stammer.

“You were the peeping Tom at Chloe’s kegger! I knew I didn’t fucking imagine it!” JJ announces. 

No, no, bad, bad, bad. 

“Holy shit! I’ve been trying to figure out who it was and it was you the whole time!”

“Don’t be a dick, okay? I just like people-watching. Clearly!” you defend, gesturing to the pictures. 

“I’m not being a dick,” JJ says, enthusiasm dwindling. He lowers the photo and looks at it again. A smile returns, sweeter this time. “It’s a really good photo.”

“Course you’d say that,” you snort, taking it back. “You’re in love with yourself.”

“Damn straight,” he gloats. He watches you place the photo in your bedside drawer. “Putting that in your wank bank for later, then?”

“Careful,” you snarl, shooting him a glare. He cackles.

ADHD brain in full swing, JJ takes to investigating your cameras. “You ever take photos of yourself?”

“No.”

“Ever had people take them for you?”

“Look, some people photograph well,” you say, gesturing to JJ, “and some people don’t.”

JJ quirks a brow. “Are you saying you’re not photogenic?”

You make a face of ‘well, duh’ and JJ laughs incredulously.

“Oh, bullshit. You’re smoking! You’d take a great picture.”

“Well, history proves otherwise,” you laugh, flopping onto your bed. 

JJ looks back to the cameras. At his extended quiet, you gain the sense that he’s plotting something. Concocting. “What?”

“Just thinkin’,” he hums. He grabs your Polaroid camera, turning to you. “This charged?”

“It’s battery powered, JJ,” you say. “So, yes.”

“Got paper in it?”

“That little dial on the right will say.”

JJ checks and a grin reappears. “Lie down.”

“Excuse me?”

“Humour me,” JJ says, “lie down.”

Rolling your eyes, you comply, lying down like a corpse. “Happy?”

“No, fucking…” JJ poorly  imitates a sensual pose. You giggle. “Give it some effort.”

Sighing, as if it’s some great effort, you do as he asks. JJ grins and lifts the camera. With that, you crack up and raise a hand, trying to push the lens away. He snaps a photo before you can. 

“JJ!”

“Come on, come on! Pose it up, girl,” he urges. 

Aware that he won’t quit, you sit up and smile reluctantly with a lopsided head tilt. JJ takes another photo. 

“Okay, gimme something sexy.”

“Sexy?” you guffaw. 

“Yeah! Something for my wank bank.”

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter. You tug your shirt off before you can overthink it and lean back on your arms, dressed in pyjama shorts and bralette. JJ’s grin takes up half his face. “Happy?”

“That’s it baby, work it…”

At his compliments and praises, you entertain him further. Your confidence blossoms under the lens and you start to understand why people like being photographed. It makes you feel important. Beautiful, like you’re something worthy to be captured. You find yourself grabbing at your tit with one hand, staring doe-eyed into the lens. Another photo has you teasing at showing your nipple, pulling down the lip of your bra.

As JJ continues to snap away, you see his dick getting harder and harder under his shorts. When the camera runs out of film, JJ dumps it on your desk and he practically pounces on you. Consumes you with a heady kiss, a hand reaching up to your jaw, tilting your head to deepen it. You’re obsessed with the way JJ kisses. It’s so forward, unapologetic and proud. Tender and telling, dominating and delicate.

When his hands palm at your crotch over your clothes, your heart sinks. Using all the strength you have, you grab his shoulders and force him down onto his back, on your bed. An impressed, bewildered smile lights up his face. It’s quickly overshadowed with lust.

Now straddling his chest, JJ pulls you back down with both hands, bringing your lips to his. You both grin into the messy kiss. 

“Don’t think I forgot what you said during hot seat,” JJ mumbles out through the kiss. You don’t bother to answer. Start making work of his throat, empowered by the new position. “About your favourite position.”

Your only response is to rut back against his hard-on. JJ stammers out a groan which seems to quiet him. You push his shirt up just as he did yours the other night, and take to praising his toned chest. Lightly trace your tongue over his nipples. Who would have thought JJ was a switch? Not you. 

“Please, baby, fuck,” JJ stammers. 

“You want my mouth?” you tease, rubbing him through his shorts. 

“God, yes, yes,” he begs, eyes closed tight with pleasure. 

You drag it out. Leisurely free him from his shorts and boxers. Take long, slow kisses right up from his calves, guiding your trial with your nails. When you finally take his leaking tip in your mouth, JJ grabs at the sheets with a moan. You go down on him, varying between fast and slow, deep and shallow. Suckle at the tip just to hear the sounds he makes, sat up on his forearms to watch. 

“Takin’ me so well,” JJ groans. One of his hands fists into your hair. “Fuck…That’s it.”

You hum around his dick, grabbing at the flesh of his thigh for purchase as you work him closer and closer to the edge. He pulls you off him before he comes, spilling onto his chest with a shuddering groan. You sit back on your haunches, wiping at your mouth, as JJ sits up. You grab the box of tissues from beside your bed and offer them to him. He’s almost blushing as he takes them, cleaning himself up. 

“Christ, you Vancouver girls are built different, huh?” he says. 

You laugh, flustered. “Well, I can’t speak for all of us.”

“Don’t need you to,” JJ smirks, reaching out for you by your hip bone. “I got the perfect one right here.”

He easily pulls you into his lap with one arm. Dumbs your thoughts with a kiss, tongue swirling deliciously in your mouth. But when one of his hands ventures lower, you pull away with a small smile. He tries to chase your mouth with his but you place a hand to the apex of his neck, keeping him at bay. He frowns.

Tracing the pad of your thumb under one of his eyes, you quietly say, “maybe another night.”

JJ’s reaction mirrors that of a child being told they can’t have a candy bar. “Wait, seriously?”

“I’m tired,” you lie with a laugh. Pecking his lips, you smile. “Worn me out.”

“Barely fucking touched you,” JJ grumbles, disgruntled. You move off him and grab the mess of tissues, filtering them into your bedroom bin. You can feel JJ watching you as you gather the polaroid photos from the floor. “Is this about the other night?”

Your lack of reply is reply enough. 

“That was probably a fluke! I read somewhere that dehydration can cause it,” JJ tells you. You make your way back over with a small smile. JJ reaches out a hand and grabs you by your hip. He leans forward and places a kiss to your stomach through your t-shirt. Looks up at you, innocent through his lashes. “Just let me at you and I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“As romantic as that is,” you sardonically say, looping your fingers through his hair and gently easing him away, “I just wanna go to sleep. You staying over?”

“Is that cool with you?” JJ checks. 

“Mhm,” you say. “I’m gonna go wash up, yeah?”

“Alright,” JJ replies, already tugging off his shirt. 

When you’re finished in the bathroom you find JJ under your sheets, scrolling on his phone. You settle in beside him. Your bed is just slightly bigger than a twin. It gives you a good excuse to cuddle up against him. Sighing, JJ clicks off his phone and lays back. 

“You wanna get the light?” he wonders, absentmindedly stroking your shoulder.

“No,” you mumble against his sturdy frame. “I sleep with it on.”

“Oh. Alright.”

JJ coils an arm around your midsection, bending to your form like ivy wills to a building. And how strange is it to think, that as you and JJ fall asleep tangled up with each other, that a box of your ex-boyfriend's things lies under the bed.

read part seven here!

taglist:

@princessuki21 | @psyches-reid | @heybank | @avengersgirllorianna | @rrosiitas | @yourmumstoy | @jjsfavgirl | @void21 | @fictionalcomforts | @gsp420 | @redhead1180 | @wearemadeofstardust0 | @mrs-jjmaybank | @ifilwtmfc | @heybank | @lilyw1235 | @belle101200

[hypnoneghoul]

Hyp my good sir, I beg you for more on touch sensitive Dew 🙏

Touch for ghouls is a need. It might be said that it is for humans, too, but it’s different.

A ghoul that isn’t touched would…deteriorate over time, mentally and physically. They’d lose their mind and give in to the wild part of their soul.

The process had already started for Dewdrop, days before Rain was summoned.

Aether and Mountain had all but begged the young water ghoul to help with their mate once they'd noticed how Dewdrop fell in love with him at first sight. They realized quickly that Rain was that last chance; the last glimmer of hope.

And indeed, he helped Dewdrop slowly come back to life by reintroducing him to touch. Step by step the fire ghoul is healing and after a couple months he and Rain are preparing to take yet another step; sleep in one bed.

Before they do that, Rain sets up a wall made of bedding in the middle of the nest, to keep Dewdrop comfortable. The fire ghoul is grateful, wanting nothing more than to be able to sleep next to Rain, but scared of what unexpected touch would cause.

They decide on attempting to intertwine their tails—considering that the skin on Dewdrop’s is different than on the rest of his body, and that Rain’s own is very smooth; like the fire ghoul’s used to be.

“Goodnight, Dewdrop,” Rain mumbles when they’re all set. “See you in the morning.”

“Night, Rainy,” the other replies, and silence falls. Dewdrop’s anxiety makes it hard for him to fall asleep for a while, but when he lets it dissipate and focuses on the comfort of having Rain’s tail tangled with his own, sleep does take him.

Rain wakes up first in the early morning, to something heavy(ish) and warm spread out on top of him.

It takes a moment for him to wake up properly, open his eyes and realize that it’s Dewdrop.

At first he grins sleepily with pride, but then he panics.

What if the fire ghoul will freak out when he wakes up and fall back on his healing journey? No, no, Rain can’t have that. As much as it pains him to do it, he gently pushes Dewdrop’s sleeping body off of him and back onto the other side of the—somehow still existent—pillow wall.

Rain can’t stop chewing the inside of his cheek as he waits for the other to wake up. When he does, Dewdrop doesn’t notice the water ghoul’s anxious behavior. It’s a good half an hour later when he decided to tell him what happened—and ask how he feels about it.

“Okay, so…” Rain starts, “I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah, sure,” the other smiles at him kindly, “is everything alright?”

“Yes, it’s just–I feel like you need to know you…you slept on me.”

“On you?” Dewdrop repeats with confusion. “Like…like I was touching you?”

“Yeah, you must’ve rolled over and you seemed–uhm, quite comfortable.”

The fire ghoul stares at Rain with his mouth agape for a little while before speaking again, “Uh–first of all, sorry–sorry for squishing you.”

“It’s alright,” Rain chuckles, “you’re not that heavy.”

“Sorry, uh–I…” Dewdrop’s voice cracks, “I have to process.”

“That’s fair, take your time,” the water ghoul assures and moves away to do something unrelated, not to stress the other out even more than he already is. He disappears into the bathroom for a moment, too, to give Dewdrop space.

“So…looks like it’s all in my head,” he says when Rain comes back out.

“Seems so,” he agrees with a twitch of the corner of his lips.

“Do you think if–if I was able to sleep on you,” Dewdrop asks shyly, “do you think we could try hugging…now?”

“I don’t want you to–”

“Please. Please, Rainy, just for a moment,” he begs and Rain would be the most cruel person to have ever existed if he denied Dewdrop his hug.

He opens his arms and waits for the smaller ghoul to move. He’s nearly shaking—as excited as he is terrified.

Dewdrop closes his eyes before stepping forward. He gasps and clenches his jaw as Rain’s arm grazes his shoulder.

“I’m okay,” he whispers. He’s not giving up now.

Dewdrop lets out a hurt little sob and melts against the other ghoul, knees buckling. Rain wraps his arms around him and holds him up as the fire ghoul cries in relief.

He leans in and hits Rain’s chest and it’s…it’s fine.

He’s fine. 

“You–you’re so–you smell so nice,” he giggles through the tears. He can finally smell Rain like he's been wanting to for months.

“And you’re so warm,” Rain replies, nearly as emotional himself.

Just like that, Dewdrop is alright.

[aniesvision]

𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 | 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝟐

𓃗 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚘 𝚡 𝚏! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒊𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍

𝚊/𝚗: 𝒊 𝒈𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒐, 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒊'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚, 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆, 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 ☕︎

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒅𝒊𝒐𝒕

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

this is all from Matt's POV

-You're such an idiot. -Nick shakes his head, disappointed, with his arms crossed and an expression on his face that looks like he is about to kill me.

-I know. -I sigh, looking away in embarrassment.

-So go fix it, you moron! -He raises his voice, pointing at the direction of the front door.

I looked at him, too scared to face what I did, but knowing I had to make things right before it was too late.

I get into my car and drive to her house. I couldn't stop replaying the events in my head. I was so selfish, acted like a douchebag, made the girl I love cry and I might have broken up with her without even noticing at the time. It took me long enough to get out of my anger trance and realize I fucked up. She didn't reply to my texts, didn't answer my calls, and wasn't even talking to Nick, which was the reason he yelled at me in my room.

I was so caught up in my work, my new project, having all sorts of things to go through to make sure it was perfect. It was draining my social battery, my energy, and my patience, and unfortunately, I let all of my anxiety and stress out on her.

She never deserved anything like this, she is such a sweetheart and always stands by my side. I feel awful.

I park by her sidewalk, planning all the things I need to say before ringing the doorbell and hoping for her to open the door and hear me out.

When she did, her eyes immediately rolled back and she tried to close the door. I put my foot in between, desperate to have a chance to talk to her.

-Wait, please, just let me talk. 5 minutes, it's all I ask, please. -I plead, not caring if I sounded stupid or desperate.

She sighs, stepping back and letting me in. I feel the urge to cry right there, seeing her face, her puffy eyes, her red cheeks, her tired expression, the repulse in her eyes looking at mine.

I clear my throat, my heart beating fast against my chest as I try to take a few breaths to calm myself down enough to get me talking.

-I'm so so sorry. I know this doesn't change the way I acted, how much I hurted you, and I promise you, I feel like a complete loser right now.

She takes a few steps to the side, taking a seat on her couch and crossing both her arms and legs like she is building a barrier against me.

-I was stressed out, and I had so many things going on in my mind, you were nothing but perfect, and I treated you wrong, pushing you away. I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I hate myself for losing you, and I just needed to talk to you to apologize. I know you're probably not giving me another chance, I don't deserve it, but at least talk to Nick again, it's not fair for him to lose you too.

I look down, my eyes burning and my vision turning glossy. I couldn't help the tears from rolling down my cheeks, but I also didn't want to look like the victim here. I was the one causing all this chaos and the only one to blame.

She didn't say a word, but I gave her her time to think. It was too much, I couldn't expect an immediate answer.

-I'll talk to Nick.

It's the only thing she says, and it makes my heart break even more. I nod, almost giving up in trying to make her stay. I didn't feel like I could be good enough, like I could make her feel the best. But she did, for some reason.

-And we can talk too, eventually.

I lift my head to look at her, taking in every detail of her pretty face. She also had tears in her eyes, a serious expression, but I knew she wasn't sure about getting back together. Also, she didn't want to completely lose me, it was probably hurting her so much, and if she thinks I deserve another chance, I'll take it, and I'll do my best to make things better, to treat her better this time. Treat her like she deserves.

-Thank you. -I whisper, closing my eyes.

I hear her standing up again, walking in my direction. My eyes open to see her, conflicted, and she raises one hand to punch my arm, then wraps her arms around me.

-Idiot. -She whispers back, making me smile.

I hug her back, tightly, not wanting to let her go, rubbing her back. I can't even believe my luck. It felt like a dream, I even had to pinch myself to make sure I was awake.

-I'm sorry. -I say, my voice slightly muffled as I bury my face in her hair, feeling the scent of her strawberry and vanilla shampoo.

-I know. -She replies, pulling away just enough to look into my eyes. -Don't do shit like that again, I'll kill you.

My lips curve into a wide smile, nodding incessantly as if promising her.

-I'll do anything to show you how much I appreciate this second chance. I won't mess up again, I love you so much.

She also smiles, and my heart warms up with the sight. She slowly lifted her body to kiss my cheek and pulled away completely, making me feel the absence of her warmth.

-I know, I don't think you're ready to die yet. -She teases, making me chuckle.

-Yeah, I'm not. -I shake my head.

She goes back to the couch, takes a seat, and rests the back of her head on top of it, staring at the ceiling. I just watched her, feeling grateful that I could make things better, but noticing how much she needed to rest.

-I'll go back home to give you your space. Try to sleep a bit, or watch something you like, you need to give your pretty head a break. -I say, getting closer and grabbing her hands in mine, bringing one of them to my lips and kissing it gently.

-I'll text you as soon as I get home, and we can take things slow, I'll respect your time, alright? I'm not leaving, I promise you, I'll make things right.

I looked at her with the certainty I was going to make good use of this second chance, assuring her through my eyes. It looked like it worked since she nodded slowly with a small smile.

I helped her get to her room, covered her with her blanket, and kissed her forehead, caressing her cheek lightly before letting her rest.

I make my way back to my car, waiting long minutes to breathe properly and drive to my house. Just the small talk was enough to make me feel at peace.

The first thing I did was give Nick the updates, considering he was about to kill me. Then I decided to text her, nothing too much, just so she'd know I wasn't lying about wanting to try again and then decided to take a rest myself.

The next thing I knew, we were talking every day, just like we were getting to know each other for the first time, and I couldn't be happier to see her smiling because of me again.

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔 ✍︎

➪ @riowritesitall @sturniolosarethebest @hyacinthst @flower-sturns @sturncakez @watercolorskyy @delooshunalhoe @sarosfilms @blahbel668 @sturniyolo69 @sturniolosl0t @sturnsxbitvh @colbsposts00 @fallingforfalll2 @stvrnmc @slxtformatt @starnoirr @katie-tibo @mattsfavbigtitties @sturnioloblues @monroesturnns @mattnchrisworld

[muddy-water-1997]

𝖠𝗀𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖡𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖿𝗂𝗍𝗌

𝖳𝖶: 𝖲𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍, 𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍, 𝖯𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗏𝖾!𝖲𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗆𝗂𝗇, 𝖠𝗇𝗀𝗋𝗒!𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗇, 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗌 𝗁𝗈𝗋𝗇𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝗍𝖻𝗁

Chapter 22 - A Rose Between Two Thorns

You didn’t know why Seungmin was there instead of Chris, but you took the roses from him with a questioning smile. It was hard to see him as anything other than a harmless friend, but the look in his eyes was off-putting; this seemed like a game to him. It was only last night that you were called a "quick fuck," and he stormed out of your apartment, taking half of the boys with him.

“You wanted to see me… without him?” you questioned, moving toward the kitchen and placing the roses in the sink water. You might be cautious of Seungmin's intentions, but you couldn’t deny that the roses were beautiful.

“Yeah…” He followed behind you into the kitchen before continuing. “I need to apologize for last night; what I said was completely out of anger.” He explained as he leaned against the kitchen counter, the same counter Chris was kissing you on this morning. The memories kept flooding back. Where was he? He was supposed to be back by now.

“Out of anger?” you echoed, trying to keep your tone neutral, but the scepticism was evident.

Seungmin nodded, his expression earnest, but his eyes still holding that unsettling glint. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was just... frustrated and I took it out on you. It wasn’t fair.”

You glanced at the roses, their vibrant petals contrasting with the confusion and unease swirling inside you. “Why now, Seungmin? Why apologize now, and why without Chris?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Because I need you to understand that what I said last night was a mistake. And... because I wanted to clear the air without him interfering.”

Interfering? The word hung heavily in the air, and you couldn’t help but feel a chill. “Interfering how?”

Seungmin took a step closer, his eyes locking onto yours. “I don’t think he’s the right person for you, Y/N. He doesn’t appreciate you the way you deserve.”

You took a step back, the proximity making your heart race with anxiety rather than affection. “Chris appreciates me more than you think,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “And he was supposed to be back by now. Do you know where he is?”

Seungmin’s gaze darkened for a fraction of a second before he plastered on a smile. “I’m sure he’s just running late. But think about what I said, okay? You deserve someone who truly values you.”

“I told you,” you began, trying to take a step back. Seungmin mirrored your movement, closing the distance until your back pressed into the fridge. You were trapped.

“But does he worship your body like the rest of us do?” His voice dropped to a low, menacing whisper as he pressed a hand above your head, his eyes boring into yours. “Does he fuck you as good as the rest of us do?” He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your skin. “I bet he didn’t even touch you last night.”

There was a twisted pleasure in his words, a sick satisfaction that made your skin crawl. His smile was a predator’s grin, relishing the fear and discomfort he was causing.

“Seungmin…” you tried to muster the strength to speak up, but your voice wavered, barely more than a whisper. You had never seen him like this, so consumed by a dark, insatiable need to dominate, to prove a point. It felt like you were nothing more than a prize to be won.

His hand moved from the fridge to your shoulder, holding you in place possessively. “You don’t need him, Y/N. You need someone who knows how to truly appreciate you. Someone who can give you what you really want.”

Fear surged through you, but you refused to let him see you break. “Chris cares about me,” you said, your voice gaining strength. “And I care about him. Nothing you say will change that.”

“We all care about you, Y/N. How come he gets to have all the fun? Stealing my limelight again. I only just got a taste, and I’m having to walk away already.” He growled into your ear, his eyes flickering down to the necklace around your neck that they had all bought you before the emergency evacuation. He took the charm between his fingers, a scoff coming from his mouth. 

Before he could continue, the door swung open with a loud bang, startling both of you. Chris stood in the doorway, his eyes blazing with anger as he took in the scene before him. “Get away from her, Seungmin,” he demanded, his voice a low growl.

Seungmin straightened up, a sneer on his lips. “Just having a conversation, Chris.”

“Now,” Chris repeated, stepping forward, his fists clenched at his sides.

Seungmin backed off, and your hand flew to your chest in a feeble attempt to catch your breath, feeling as if it was slipping away. Were you scared? Was that supposed to turn you on? What was that?

“Y/N, are you okay?” Chris asked as he rushed to you from the doorway, quickly stepping between you and Seungmin. It was a good question. Were you okay?

“Yeah,” you mumbled quietly, your hand moving to the necklace, checking for damage. “I’m okay.”

“What the hell is this?” Chris demanded, his anger not subsiding as he glared at Seungmin.

Seungmin shrugged, a smug smile still lingering on his lips. “Just a misunderstanding, right, Y/N?”

Chris turned back to you, his eyes filled with concern and fury. “Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head, though your heart was still racing. “No, he didn’t hurt me. It was just... weird. He was saying things, trying to... I don’t know.”

Chris’s jaw tightened, and he stepped closer to Seungmin, his body radiating protective energy. “You stay away from her. Do you understand?”

Seungmin’s smile faded slightly, replaced by a flash of defiance. “I’m just looking out for her, Chris. Maybe you should be too.”

“Get out,” Chris growled, pointing toward the door. “Now.”

“What?” Seungmin retorted, his tone sharp. “You wanted us to do better by her. Those were your words. Or does that not include making her feel good? Because you were fine with that detail up until last night.”

“Things change,” Chris snapped back, his patience wearing thin.

“Whenever you want them to, sure,” Seungmin challenged, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Enough!” You stepped in, unable to stand being caught in the middle of their argument. “I should just pack a bag and go back home.” You sighed, heading toward the bedroom. You should have done this last night; it would have saved all this drama.

“No!” They both said in unison, moving to stop you in your tracks before glaring at each other.

“I’m a person!” you yelled, the anger and fear suddenly pouring out at once. “I’m not a prize you can just win at an arcade. Jesus fucking Christ.” You buried your face in your hands, trying to take a breath. “Have I not been through enough these past few days? Truly. I’m in a foreign country, away from my family and my friends, and you’re here acting like a pair of children.”

You couldn’t tell if you were mad or hungry, remembering your takeaway plans with Chris that had quickly become a passing thought. The overwhelming mix of emotions bubbled up, making it hard to think clearly.

Chris took a step toward you, his voice softer now, filled with regret. “Y/N, I’m sorry. This isn’t what I wanted. I don’t want you to feel like this.” You let him get close, his body enveloping you warmly. The tears that stung at your eyes were threatening to fall. You felt so safe with him, like the world couldn’t touch you. But with Seungmin, the way he cornered you, he was so close to you. You couldn’t deny that the possessiveness turned on a part of you.

“It’s time for you to leave,” Chris spoke to Seungmin with a firm but quieter tone, keeping your body close to his chest. Seungmin didn’t argue this time, but Chris noted that the smile on his face hadn’t faded. It was almost like he knew how to push your buttons without you being wiser about it. He walked out of the apartment, not saying another word.

“Are you okay, beautiful?” Chris asked as he heard the door shut, kissing you gently on your forehead. You nodded softly against his chest, feeling a mixture of relief and lingering unease.

“I’m okay,” you whispered, though your voice was still shaky. “Just... a lot to process.”

Chris held you tighter, his hand gently stroking your hair. “I’m so sorry for all of this. I should have been here. I should have protected you better.”

You pulled back slightly, looking up into his eyes. “It’s not your fault, Chris. Seungmin... he just caught me off guard. I didn’t expect him to act like that.”

“I know,” Chris replied, his eyes filled with sorrow and determination. “But I promise, I won’t let him or anyone else make you feel like this again.” You had to process truly what just happened before you agreed to a statement like that. The possessiveness that Seungmin showed… that needed decoding in your brain first.

“Can we order something to eat?” You asked, pulling away from his chest slightly. He laughed softly in response.

“Of course we can, baby. Whatever you want- it’s yours.”

NEXT CHAPTER

𝖶𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾? 𝖳𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝗆𝖾! 𝖬𝗒 𝗂𝗇𝖻𝗈𝗑 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖨 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗎𝗒𝗌! 

𝖶𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗃𝗈𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗍𝖺𝗀 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍? 𝖣𝗋𝗈𝗉 𝗆𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗈𝗋 𝖣𝖬!

𝖳𝖺𝗀 𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝗂𝖾𝗌

@fr34k4c1dr41n @rylea08 @stellasays45 @darthmaddie25 @whatsk-poppinhomies @minnieprincess85 @purp13st4r @livixcore @hyun-hwanj @0325tiny @privhace @goldilovesharry @jisunglyricist @gloriajovicc @mimililylupinblack @laney1488 @missbangtangirl

Orange means I couldn’t tag you!

[the-fiction-witch]

Hysteria

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Smut

I stood kicking and punching my wooden door using every exploitive I know, 

"Father! This is ridiculous!" 

"You're staying in there y/n until the doctor gets here, this has gotten way out of hand"

"You called the doctor!" I yelled kicking the door again 

"See this is exactly why I called him, this is so out of hand y/n you're an emotional madhouse"

"Maybe I wouldn't be if you stopped treating me like a damn infant!"

"Ohh thank goodness your here Dr Dawkins" 

"Y-you called the surgeon!" I yelled

"I'm awfully sorry I know this isn't your area of expertise, but with the other doctor away I really didn't want to wait" 

"Absolutely, it's no problem Mr Y/L/n I'm sure I can do my best to help. Where is she then?"

"Locked in her room"

"I see"

"You keep that bloody butcher away from me!" I yelled 

The door opened and in came Dr Dawkins and my father in tow 

"Please sit down Miss Y/l/n"

"Fine" I pouted sitting on my bed 

"what seems to be the issue?"

Before I could even open my mouth my father spoke up

"Ohh she's been an utterly unruly doctor, shouting and screaming at me, sneaking out alone, causing all sorts of havoc."

"I see... have you been feeling any discomfort?" He asked me 

"other than being treated like a child and being locked in my room"

"Understandable" He nods checking me over a little doing all the usual tests

"I've been reading up on the symptoms I fear it might be... female hysteria" My father whispered almost afraid to say the very word

"Father!" I snapped "I do not have Hysteria!"

"Let the doctor be the judge of that y/n"

"He's not a doctor! He's a bloody butcher!"

"Do you mind giving me some time to examine the patient alone"

"Of course Doctor" 

My father quickly left and I just sat even more annoyed as he shut my bedroom door and continued doing little checks 

"I get the feeling, you don't particularly like me"

"I don't like doctors. nothing against you personally" 

"That's good then, I was worried I'd upset you" He smiled 

"No, I just don't like doctors"

"Any reason why?"

"Not so long ago doctors like you were throwing leaches around and saying girls should keep their legs shut so demons don't possess them through their vaginas. No Offence but I think most doctors are crackpots" 

"To be fair, most of us are" He chuckled "Miss Y/l/n. I'm a surgeon I chop limbs off for a living I'm not surprised people think I'm a crackpot"

"At least your honest about it, You don't really think there's anything wrong with me do you?"

"Well I have to bill your father for something, and he has a point about hysteria." 

"I don't have hysteria" 

"Do you even know what hysteria is?" 

"It's when girls are so emotional"

"No it's a bundle of anxiety and other such troubles that can really cause issues if not dealt with, people just like to yell hysteria because it sounds scary" he explained "Have you been having any headaches? issues sleeping?"

"A little actually"

"See, but it fine very easily fixed up," He says "Will you lie down for me?"

"Alright, but if you pull out a saw I'm kicking you in the crotch" I warn moving to lie on my bed 

"No saw, you just need a little massage that's all" he reassured 

"That does sound nice" I smiled 

"You ready?"

"I guess"

"Good, any discomfort let me know" he smiled setting his left hand on my stomach firmly but not pushing more settled there but firm enough to not move "knees up"

"Are you sure?" 

"Trust me"

"Alright..." I nervously did as he asked putting my knees up and setting my feet on my bed 

"Perfect, now just relax for me" he reassured his right hand touching my ankle and moving up my leg towards my

"Hey!" I said sitting up "What the hell do you think you're doing?" 

"It's a normal part of the procedure just stay relaxed okay" He reassured 

"I'm watching you Dr Dawkins" I glared

"I know, you're watching me" he laughed as his hand moved up and softly stroked the lips of my pussy immediately I gasped and glared at him but he merely continued I did my best to just stare up at the ceiling unsure how to feel exactly not being helped by the fact even looking at the ceiling I still saw him in my view loomed over me, as he slipped a finger inside of me it felt so nice his slender strong fingers moving to rub and push gently massaging me from the inside "Everything alright?" 

"Uhh yeah" I nodded sheepishly 

"Good, you have a lot of pressure built up" He says 

"I do?" 

"Yeah I'm gonna have to be a little more aggressive let me know if it's too much okay?" He says his massaging and rubbing now became much harder I did my best to bite my lip and not react to the feeling building between my legs the likes of which I had only really felt in small doses myself now feeling it building without hesitation or my own control, 

"It's fine" I gulped 

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah" I nodded

"It'll all be okay once we get this sorted," He says getting faster even slipping in another finger working them in tandem to send bubbles of pleasure through me by now I was really struggling almost drawing blood from my lip trying not to gasp too much or reveal to him just how much it was making me feel giggly. "Just a little more..." He says his fingers getting more intense 

I gripped my sheets in a death-like grip, my vision flooding with bubbles, my whole body shook, uncontrollably I squealed and even squirted on his hand and the bed as waves of pleasure washed from my curled toes to the very tips of my fingers

"There we go, perfect." he smiled taking his hand away and cleaning it off "That should clean up any potential hysteria but the key is preventative measures and up-to-date treatment" He explained 

"Uhhh okay" I gasped sitting up a little 

"Preventative, gets some sleep. Stay off the sugary treats. and maybe have a day where you loosen your corset a little"

"Okay" I nodded 

"And as far as treatment goes, weekly appointments should curve the hysteria." 

"Weekly?" 

"Yes weekly, I'll handle it till we know when the other doctor is coming back that alright?"

"Yeah that uhh that's fine, so I'll be seeing you every week?" 

"Every week, Pop into my office one day next week so long as that's okay with you?"

"That's fine Dr Dawkins" I blushed "I'll be happy to is uhh Thursday alright" I giggled 

"Thursday is perfect for me," 

"Good," I smiled nuzzling into his neck a little 

"uhh? You wanna get down?"

"Okay" I smiled 

"Alright, here we go" He smiled picking me up and helping me off the bed given my legs were utterly jelly "Now, I'll see you Thursday and I need to let your father know what we've done today"

"Ohh Uhh maybe don't tell my father" I blushed

"I have to bill him for something? Don't worry I'll keep your privacy" he reassured before taking his things "Good evening Miss Y/l/n"

"Good evening Dr Dawkins" I giggled before he left my room and I collapsed back on my bed "Whoa-" 

I smiled climbing into my hot steamy bathtub and letting it relax my body, but I didn't want to waste time grabbing my soap and scrubbing my skin within an inch of its life being a tad more aggressive than I likely needed to be but I wanted to make sure I was lovely and clean. I slowly climbed out and got dry doing my hair in a sweet beautiful style, getting into one of my prettiest day dresses and heading out.

I smiled as I waited patiently doing my best not to bite my lip or seem too excited.

"Ahh there you are Miss y/l/n" The doctor smiled as he came from his office cleaning his hands on a dirty rag "I was wondering when I'd see you" He chuckled "Shall we then?"

"Absolutely Dr Dawkins" I giggled happily following him into the office

"Here we are, up you go," he said tapping the table

"Yes doctor" I smiled climbing up onto the table

"Ohh before I forget," he said grabbing a pillow from his own office chair and giving it a plump before setting it on the table and tapping it invitingly

"Aww How kind of you" I smiled laying down and settling on the pillow

"Well this isn't my usual business so I want to make sure you're comfortable" he smiled "So? All ready?"

"All ready" I smiled

"You mind lifting your dress?"

"Of course sorry" I blushed moving my legs and my dress

"Perfect, It's such a lovely dress I don't want to damage it"

"That's very kind of you doctor" I smiled as I felt his hand moving up my skirt I did my best to bite my lip but not look too eager but the moment his hand made contact I struggled not to moan as his fingers found their way inside me 

"Ohh my, very tense today." He says "You been doing what I recommended?"

"Yes doctor"

"Alright, we'll see how it goes today we might have to give you a few extra appointments"

"More appointments?"

"we might have to."

"Well if you think so doctor" I blushed feeling the intense pleasure from his fingers until I bit my mouth hard gripping the table as I reached my orgasm 

"There we are" He smiled "All done"

"Thank you doctor" I smiled sitting up and doing my best not to turn red 

"Did you want a hand getting down?"

"Yes please" I nodded he happily picked me up letting me nuzzle into his neck as he helped me to my feet 

"There now get yourself home and I'll see you next week"

"Yes doctor" I nodded 

[theabigailthorn]

what made you decide to get an instagram/tiktok?

Great question! After the NHS video a bunch of people signed up for my Patreon. As far as I'm concerned that money isn't mine, it's my patrons', so it wouldn't be right for me to spend it on myself. I need to spend it on making Philosophy Tube better. I thought about what the show might need, and my ideas were:

A) a video editor, or B) a social media manager

I decided against hiring an editor pretty quickly because I like doing the editing myself - it's often where the last mile of creative inspiration comes. Yes it's HARD WORK but I like giving it that personal touch.

I already knew that if I wanted to show to keep growing and keep reaching new audiences I'd need to get on Instagram and TikTok. Especially TikTok - that's just where the audiences are now. It's one of the most used search engines in the world and it's where the 13-18 demographic are. Whether I like it or not that's just a fact, and I can either accept it and work with it or ignore it and face the consequences.

And you might ask, "Well why does the show need to grow, why not keep it as it is?!" Good question! The natural tendency of YouTube channels and Patreon pages is they shrink: people gradually drop off, they move on to another creator, their life circumstances change and they don't watch as much YouTube anymore - all totally natural and understandable life reasons why entertainment products get affected by entropy. So if you want to keep going at all you need to be reaching new audiences.

I decided to take the money the new patrons had given me and invest it back into the show - put their money on the screen rather than in my pocket. They gave me that money cause they want more Philosophy Tube, and this was the best way I could think of to ensure that more gets made. It's very early days but I'm enjoying it so far and I've also been getting a fair bit of creative inspiration from trying out a new skill set!

It's a bit scary and anxiety-provoking, and I've already noticed an uptick in transphobic abuse since we launched, but I've got a good safety net and good working practices set up to keep me healthy and safe. My social media manager and I have wargamed various worst case scenarios and we're checking in regularly to see what's working and what's not.

[differentpostrebel]

Lost and Found a Pirate's Promise

Chapter 40: The Calm Before the Storm

A/N: We are back at it again with another chapter! Yall, I have finished the bonus chapter and I have advanced in the cake island writing and when I tell you… the plot is plotting! At this point we might be extending whole cake island just a bit more, cause Im about to so much! Thank you guys for liking, commenting, following, and reblogging. Now, without further a do, let the adventure begin!

Word Count: 7.7 K

Sanji X Reader, Sanji x Y/N, One Piece x Reader.

Y/N POV… 

“Y/N! Wake up!” The gentle nudge pulled me from the depths of sleep, but I groaned, trying to drift back into slumber. Just as I began to settle deeper into my dreams, I was jolted back into awareness when I felt the familiar weight of Zoro beside me. “What the…” I mumbled, blinking slowly and taking in my surroundings. The realization hit me like a wave, and my cheeks flushed a bright crimson as I looked down to see where I had been resting—on Zoro’s chest.

“Zoro, hey! Wake up!” I nudged him again, feeling a flutter in my stomach as I took in the sight of him. He just shifted, groaning softly as his grip on me tightened, his face now nestled against my neck. My heart raced at the unexpected closeness.

“Five more minutes,” he mumbled, and I felt his lips brush against my skin in a soft peck. My breath hitched at the sensation, warmth spreading across my cheeks. “Zoro, please wake up!” I whispered-yelled, shaking him a little more insistently.

But instead of responding, he placed another gentle kiss on my neck. “Five more minutes, princess,” he muttered, a drowsy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. My heart fluttered at the endearment, but I couldn’t let him sleep any longer.

“Roronoa, I swear if you don’t wake up now!” I hissed, a mixture of annoyance and amusement in my voice. Just as I was about to give him another nudge, Nami came to my rescue, delivering a swift kick to Zoro’s side.

“Why’d you do that for?!” he protested, blinking awake and looking thoroughly disgruntled.

Nami ignored him, her expression serious as she moved to wake up Luffy, who was still lost in his “meat dreams.” I rubbed my right eye, still trying to shake off the remnants of sleep.

“What’s wrong, Nami?” I asked, my voice thick with sleep.

“Two samurai have arrived at Wano!” she exclaimed, urgency lacing her tone.

“Crap, you don’t think it’s—” My words were cut short by a surge of anxiety. The thought of the samurai sending word about the imminent threat sent a chill down my spine.

“Luffy! Wake up!” Nami yelled again, her frustration boiling over as she continued to shake him.

Zoro, Chopper, a sleepy Usopp, and I began to get up, stretching our limbs as we processed the information. The previous warmth of the night felt like a distant memory, overshadowed by the gravity of the situation.

Luffy was sleep-running along with the rest of us, grumbling as we rushed to reach Kinemon, Kanjuro, and Momonosuke before it was too late. "No fair, no fair! Why do I have to run before breakfast?" Luffy whined, rubbing his belly.

Nami sighed in frustration. "The whole country is in an uproar! To make matters worse, Cat Viper and the other warriors are already making their way into town as we speak."

"Do you think we’ll be getting another feast?!" Luffy asked, eyes lighting up at the thought.

"Luffy, now is not the time for feast dreams!" I shouted, still running.

We finally caught up with Kinemon, Kanjuro, and Momonosuke just before anyone spotted them. Quickly, we pushed them behind a nearby hidden wall, my heart pounding in my chest. "That was close," I whispered, leaning over and putting my hands on my knees to catch my breath.

Luffy, still unfazed, peered over the wall. "Looks like a fight!"

Just then, Kinemon stepped out of hiding and, to our horror, yelled at Cat Viper and Dogstorm to stop fighting. Kanjuro and Momo soon followed him out of the hiding spot.

Kinemon began his speech, talking about being a samurai and searching for Raizo. I slapped my hand to my forehead in disbelief. "This bonehead," I muttered.

"Someone’s gotta do something!" Nami hissed as Luffy, Brook, and Franky started heading over to them. I was about to join them when Zoro grabbed my arm.

"Zoro, what gives?" I asked, confused by his sudden hold.

"I'll go. You stay here with Nami and Robin for me," Zoro said firmly before making his way toward the others.

We watched as Kinemon stood in front of Cat Viper and Dogstorm, both in tears. “How I’ve longed for this day,” Dogstorm said, his voice heavy with emotion. Cat Viper echoed his sentiment, their heads bowed as a wave of silence fell over everyone.

"Raizo was in fact here all along," Cat Viper announced solemnly, and in that moment, every Mink warrior bowed their heads in reverence. All of us stood there, utterly shocked.

"I’m glad to hear it... thank you, friends," Kinemon said softly, gratitude lacing his words.

"So the whole country knew, but they all nearly died because of it," I whispered, the gravity of their loyalty weighing on me.

"None of them said a word…" Usopp muttered, tears streaming down his face. "They protected their friend until the end…"

"I’m sorry," Cat Viper apologized, "but we had to keep it a secret, even from you. Our people would never sell out a friend."

Kinemon’s voice choked up with emotion. "I am grateful to all of you," he said as he began to remove his kimono slightly, revealing a tattoo. The crest of the Kozuki Clan.

I couldn’t help but tease. "Didn’t take you as a man of tattoos, Kinemon."

His eyes darted toward my chest, causing irritation to spark through me. With one swift punch to his head, I growled, "My eyes are up here!" Kinemon groaned in pain, rubbing the spot where I hit him, before retreating to where Cat Viper and Dogstorm were standing. 

"I was getting ready for a fight, but turns out to be best buddies," Usopp grumbled, still baffled by the sudden shift in the situation as we sat on the rubble.

"It's not their fault. Although we are allies, some secrets need to be kept," Robin responded calmly, always the voice of reason.

As Cat Viper and Dogstorm began to argue again, Momo's voice cut through, shaky but strong. "That's enough, both of you, stop!" he cried, tears filling his eyes. "What happened between you two, whatever made you hate each other, I forbid you to continue it. And if it’s because of my father, you know how much it would break his heart to see this!"

Both Dogstorm and Cat Viper froze at Momo's words, bowing their heads in shame. The room fell quiet for a moment as they stopped bickering. I furrowed my brows, still trying to piece everything together.

"What’s going on?" I muttered under my breath, leaning slightly toward Robin.

"Did you just call your own kid... Lord?" Chopper asked, voice filled with confusion, as everyone stared at Kinemon.

"I must apologize for the deception," Kinemon said solemnly. "Lord Momonosuke is not my son."

The shock rippled through our group like a sudden gust of wind. "What?!" Usopp and Franky exclaimed, eyes wide as plates.

Kinemon continued, his expression serious as he explained the truth. "If our true identity had been revealed, it would have attracted deadly enemies."

"So, Momo's...?" I whispered, still processing the information.

"Forgive me for deceiving you," Momo said, stepping forward with a resolve in his small frame that made him seem older than his years. "But I am a lord!"

"Yes, but a naughty one!" Brook said, wagging a bony finger with a teasing smile.

"No, I'm not!" Momo snapped back, his face flushing in indignation.

Just as things seemed to calm down, Luffy suddenly started poking at Momo, inciting yet another round of chaos. "Oh, here we go again," I sighed, rolling my eyes as the two began their usual bickering.

But instead of going after Luffy this time, Momo made a sharp right and, to everyone's shock, dove headfirst into Nami’s chest. "Luffy's a brute! Oh, how he vexes me, O-Nami!" he whined, latching onto her dramatically.

Nami, used to his antics by now, just sighed, patting his head softly. "There, there, Momo."

But then, a mischievous gleam lit up her eyes. "By the way, Momo, if your father is the Lord of Wano, that means his castle must be filled with treasure, right?"

I couldn’t help but laugh softly at how quickly Nami’s thoughts turned to treasure. "Of course she would go there," I muttered with a grin

Luffy and Momo burst out laughing, basking in the joyous atmosphere that filled the air.

Suddenly, the minks began to cheer, causing all of us to turn around in confusion. "Hmm, did I miss something over there?" Luffy asked, tilting his head.

"It seems the minks are quite excited," Kinemon added, his voice calm but curious.

We all looked up, and there it was—a brilliant rainbow stretching across the sky, casting vibrant colors over the landscape. "Look, guys! A rainbow!" I said excitedly, pointing at the dazzling display.

"Wow!" Luffy exclaimed, grinning ear to ear. Minutes passed as we admired the sight, and then we were led to where Raizo was hidden.

We climbed up a massive tree, with Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp making ninja noises and playfully hopping around as they went. "You guys be careful! Don’t want you to fall now!" I called out, smiling at their antics. This caused Usopp and Chopper to freeze in fear for a moment before quickly steadying themselves.

When we reached the top, Cat Viper opened a hidden door in the tree, revealing a path down. Nami was trailing behind, calling out, "Slow down! It’s not a race!" as Robin and I leaped ahead.

"So long, slowpoke!" we teased, laughing as we hurried down the steps.

"What was that noise?" Chopper asked nervously as we continued descending.

"Raizo for sure," Cat Viper replied, which was all the encouragement Luffy, Chopper, Usopp, and Franky needed. They immediately bolted down the stairs, chanting, "Ninja! Ninja! Ninja!"

"There he is—Raizo the Great Ninja!" Cat Viper announced with a grand flourish.

When we finally reached the bottom and laid eyes on Raizo, the reactions from the crew were absolutely priceless. Luffy, Usopp, Franky, and Chopper looked completely horrified, as if their dreams of a cool, sleek ninja had been shattered. Zoro seemed visibly annoyed, his eyes narrowing, while Law facepalmed, clearly unimpressed.

"I guess ninjas are kind of lame," Zoro muttered under his breath, earning a groan of agreement from Law.

"Well, was he everything you boys hoped for?" I asked, unable to stop laughing at their bewildered expressions.

"I can’t believe this place," Nami sighed, shaking her head.

Just then, Robin gasped, her gaze fixed on a nearby stone. "That crest... it’s the Kozuki Clan’s symbol!"

"And that stone... it’s a deep red. I’ve never seen one in such an odd color," she added, stepping closer to inspect it.

"Yeah, that is a poneglyph," Cat Viper explained, nodding toward the stone.

Dogstorm joined in the conversation with Robin, discussing her home in Ohara and how much they knew about her tragic past. "So, can you tell me what makes this poneglyph unique?" Robin asked, her interest piqued.

"This one has a different purpose. Perhaps you’d like to read it?" Dogstorm offered, guiding her closer to the ancient text.

As Robin began to read the poneglyph, the boys continued their ninja fascination, still trying to figure out how this version of a ninja lined up with their wild imaginations. I nudged Nami and pointed toward them. "Look at that," I said, laughing as they huddled together, still confused.

Brook, who had been quietly observing everything, chimed in with his usual humor. "Yohoho! Raizo may not look the part, but I bet he’s got plenty of tricks up his sleeve! Perhaps he could teach me to vanish—although, I already lack a body to hide behind. Yohohoho!"

Nami giggled at Brook's joke, and I couldn't help but chuckle too, grateful for the lightheartedness amid all the revelations.

Suddenly, Robin finished reading and handed us the information from the poneglyph. "Well, Nami, Y/N?" she said, and both Nami and I leaned in to read the details.

"You got all this out of it?" I asked Robin, genuinely impressed.

"With this data, I can draw a nautical chart, then we can pinpoint the location of something, I’m sure!" Nami said excitedly, already thinking ahead.

"This stone has a special name, Road Poneglyph. As you all may know, all of the major players are searching for these to reach the Grand Line. That poneglyph is part of it—it's one of the keys to reaching the final island, Laugh Tale," Dogstorm explained.

"So this is a guide to the final island, Laugh Tale?" I said, feeling the weight of the discovery.

"Precisely so," Dogstorm nodded.

"Wow!" I exclaimed, turning toward Luffy, who had a huge grin on his face.

"If I can go there, that’ll mean I can be King of the Pirates!" Luffy yelled, full of excitement and determination.

"Finally! Laugh Tale!" Usopp cried out, tears streaming down his face.

"It’s just like that flower head told us! So this red stone is all we needed all along?!" Luffy pointed at the poneglyph with enthusiasm.

"Hold on, there’s more," Dogstorm interrupted. "It isn’t the only red poneglyph. There are four of them in total."

"The stone provides coordinates, but the location it gives on its own won’t lead directly to Laugh Tale. The other three Road Poneglyphs have coordinates to different places. Once you connect those points on a map, their true purpose will be revealed. Only then can you reach Laugh Tale at last."

We all shared a look of amazement. "It’s closer than I thought!" Luffy grinned widely, almost bouncing with excitement. "The final island!"

"Once we get there, we’ll know the truth—if it’s real or just a legend... the ONE PIECE!" Luffy declared, clenching his fist with determination.

"Never a dull moment," Robin said, looking over at Nami and me, who were both laughing at Luffy’s boundless energy.

"Alright, let’s go!" Luffy shouted, ready to dash off again. But just as he was about to bolt, Usopp grabbed the back of his shirt collar, pulling him back.

"And go where exactly?! It’s a big world out there!" Usopp said, his tone exasperated.

Luffy, still struggling against Usopp's hold, continued, "We’ll get Sanji, stop Y/N’s wedding, and find the One Piece!"

"And you’re going to do all of that alone?!" Usopp cried in disbelief, still holding Luffy by the collar.

"Well, not exactly. I’m going with him too," I added with a smirk, stepping forward.

Usopp’s face paled as he threw his hands up in the air. "Are you asking to be killed?! This is madness!"

I shrugged with a playful grin, feeling more confident and excited for the journey ahead.

"Honestly, if you travel with Pekoms to Whole Cake Island, we can kill two birds with one stone," said Cat Viper, causing Luffy to stop mid-run.

"We know there are four Road Poneglyphs, and we know one of them is here," Cat Viper continued. "The other two are under the control of pirates—powerful ones at that."

"Figures," Law muttered as he came to stand beside me, arms crossed.

"Okay, well who are these pirates?" Luffy asked, ever curious.

"One of them is Big Mom," Cat Viper revealed.

The moment he said her name, I felt a surge of anger rising. My fists clenched, and I could feel the familiar blue hue from my hidden blades illuminating brightly on my thigh holsters, reacting to my emotions. The light flickered intensely as I muttered under my breath, "That old hag... stupid wedding, stupid Big Mom."

Luffy turned toward me, eyes wide with excitement. "Whoa! You're glowing, Y/N!" he said with his usual carefree laugh, clearly more fascinated by the light than my frustration.

"Captain, this isn’t—" I began, trying to explain.

But before I could finish, Zoro cut me off, stepping up beside me and placing a steady hand on my shoulder. His touch was firm, grounding me, and his voice was calm yet protective.

"Princess here is just getting warmed up," Zoro said, giving me a sidelong glance, his expression half-teasing but with a hint of concern. His thumb rubbed gently over my shoulder as if to ease the tension that was building inside me.

I took a deep breath, trying to let go of some of the anger. "Thanks, Zo. I needed that," I said, my shoulders slumping as the tension faded.

Zoro smirked, his hand still resting casually on my shoulder. "Don’t mention it," he replied coolly, clearly feeling at ease.

But before I could fully relax, Law’s gaze sharpened. He stepped forward, his arms crossed tightly as he eyed Zoro with clear annoyance. "Hey!, don’t get too comfortable, Roronoa," Law said, his voice clipped. "She’s not your ‘princess’ to look after."

Zoro raised an eyebrow and smirked, clearly amused by Law’s irritation. "Maybe, but I don’t see you doing anything," Zoro shot back casually, his tone dripping with his usual calm confidence. "Besides, she seems pretty comfortable with me."

Law’s expression darkened. "Comfortable, huh? You might want to rethink that before you start getting ideas."

Usopp, sensing the tension rising, jumped in with his usual dramatic flair. "Oh, here we go! The epic rivalry between Zoro and Law for Y/N’s attention! Who will win?!" He pretended to wipe an imaginary tear. "This is gonna be good!"

Luffy, now fully entertained, laughed loudly. "Shishishi! Yeah, who’s gonna win?!"

I sighed, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous the situation was getting. "Guys, please…"

Zoro and Law both glared at each other for a moment, neither willing to back down. I sighed, unclenching my hands and glancing up at Cat Viper with an apologetic smile.

"Cat Viper, I apologize for all this..." I said, laughing a bit at the absurdity of it all.

"There's no need, Princess," Cat Viper replied warmly. "I can understand your frustration—being forced into a marriage you don’t want, along with losing your friend as well. It’s a lot to carry."

"It really is," I muttered softly, the weight of everything sinking in. Before I could dwell too much, Cat Viper continued his explanation.

"And the second emperor... Kaidou, King of the Beasts."

Nami, Chopper, Brook, and Usopp all shrieked in terror at the mention of Kaidou.

"That’s fine by me," Luffy and I said in unison, both of us sharing a determined glance.

"So, we just gotta rob them, right?" Franky chimed in with a smirk, causing Robin to laugh.

"Nothing a good stabbing won’t fix," Zoro added confidently, then turned his teasing smirk toward me. "Or in your case, princess, a good shock."

I chuckled at that, my blades glowing faintly at the thought, but I caught Law still glaring at Zoro, clearly not amused by his nonchalance.

"Bring it on! I’ll kick both their butts sooner or later!" Luffy yelled, pumped up and ready for the challenge.

"Have some sensitivity over here!" Usopp cried, tears streaming down his face as Chopper joined him in his panic. "I wasn’t prepared for any of this! I’ll pee my pants if I have to!"

I couldn’t help but laugh at Usopp’s exaggerated fear, the tension from earlier easing with every word.

"Hold on," Cat Viper said with a chuckle of his own, "you guys don’t have to steal the poneglyphs or do anything reckless like that."

"Make sure you don’t tell that to Y/N," Law said, smirking as he glanced at me. "She’ll still come up with some reckless plan anyway."

"Hey!" I protested with mock indignation, but I couldn’t stop a smile from breaking through. "Guilty as charged," I admitted with a playful grin, knowing full well my penchant for diving headfirst into danger.

"Just take an etching, and that way you can read it," Cat Viper suggested, as if the plan was that simple.

Suddenly, Usopp perked up with a wild idea. "We sneak into Big Mom's and Kaidou's hideouts, avoid any confrontations, make a copy, and then bam! We’ll sail straight to Laugh Tale, and everyone is happy!"

Both Luffy and I exchanged a skeptical glance, making faces at the absurdity of it. "Don’t make that face, you guys! You jerks!" Usopp exclaimed, launching himself at me and causing me to fall backward. "That was a good idea!" he insisted.

"No, it wasn’t!" I retorted, trying to push him off, but Luffy tackled Usopp and pulled me along with them.

"I want to kick butt and be manly!" Luffy shouted, his eyes gleaming with enthusiasm.

Now all three of us were in a tangled heap, wrestling on the ground. "Don’t be a wuss!" we both shouted at Usopp, who was squirming in mock terror.

"Don’t get us killed!" Usopp yelled back, trying to wriggle free from our combined weight. 

Suddenly, I felt a firm grip on my waist, pulling me away from the pile. I kept squirming, confused and a bit annoyed at being separated from the fun. "Hey! What gives?" I shouted, surprised to find myself pulled away from Usopp and Luffy, who were still tangled up and arguing.

Zoro’s grip tightened, both hands firmly holding my waist as he effortlessly pulled me away from Usopp and Luffy, who were still tangled up and arguing. "You three are causing a scene," Zoro muttered, clearly unimpressed by the commotion we were making.

"Zoro!" I exclaimed, half-laughing, half-annoyed as I continued to squirm in his grasp. "Let me go, I was winning!"

"Winning what?" he scoffed, his tone laced with sarcasm. "Rolling around like kids? Get a hold of yourself."

I shot him a playful glare. "You just don't get it!"

Zoro smirked, his grip still firm. "Yeah, yeah. Come on, stop squirming," he said, his tone firm but amused as he finally let go of me, but not before shaking his head with a slight chuckle.

As I brushed myself off, I couldn't help but notice Law watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes, clearly irritated by the scene. Usopp, still caught in Luffy’s grasp, waved frantically. "I was not losing!" he shouted.

"Yes, you were! I was beating you!" I retorted, playfully sticking my tongue out at Usopp as I dusted myself off. Before I could fully regain my composure, I felt a sudden tug as Law pulled me towards his side.

His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to him. "You're always in the middle of some ridiculous mess," he muttered, clearly trying to hide his annoyance but not quite succeeding. His voice was low, though I could hear the possessiveness in it.

I blinked up at him, surprised by the sudden move, and a playful grin crept onto my lips. "Oh? Getting a little jealous, Law?" I teased, nudging him lightly.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said, though his narrowed gaze on Zoro said otherwise. "Just keeping you out of trouble."

Zoro, noticing the interaction, smirked as if challenging Law. "Don't hurt yourself, Law. Keeping up with her is harder than you think," he quipped, his tone teasing but with an edge that made Law's grip on my waist tighten slightly. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the tension between the two. 

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the tension between Law and Zoro, only to be interrupted by Brook suddenly getting himself tangled up with Luffy and Usopp. "Brook! How did you get caught up in that mess?!" I exclaimed, watching the skeleton flail his bony arms dramatically.

"I don’t know, but help! Yohohoho! This is not how I imagined spending my day!" Brook cried, his voice muffled by the chaos.

Suddenly, Chopper’s voice broke through the laughter. "But wait, we don’t even know where the fourth poneglyph is, right? Can we even get to Laugh Tale with just three?"

"I doubt it," Nami said with a sigh, ever the voice of reason. "Even pirates can’t cheat their way into Laugh Tale. Eventually, we’ll have to figure out where that last one is."

As the rest of us continued to watch Brook, Usopp, and Luffy tangled up like a mess of limbs, Luffy’s voice rose above the confusion. "We’ll cross every bridge! There are no rules in becoming King of the Pirates!"

"Says who?!" Usopp retorted, still stuck and clearly not amused. "Someone, help me already!"

Brook, on the verge of giving up, shouted, "Me too! I’m a musician, not a wrestler!"

The absurdity of it all made me laugh, but then Cat Viper’s serious voice brought us back to reality. "But you're the one I’m most worried about, Nico Robin. Those interested in the blank century are also after the poneglyphs. But none of them can read the ancient texts. So, when they hit a dead end... they’ll come after you."

As we all recalled the events of Enies Lobby, a somber mood fell over us. Robin, however, smiled with her usual grace. "I’m not worried. My friends are strong. I know they’ll protect me, no matter what happens."

Her confidence in us made me blush a little, and I noticed Zoro and I exchanging a glance. We both nodded in silent agreement, knowing that we would do anything to keep Robin safe. We didn’t need words to express it, but our shared look said enough.

"It sounds like they have things covered," Cat Viper mused, reassured by Robin's words.

Minutes passed as Cat Viper delved deeper into the history of the Kozuki clan and Kozuki Oden. "They made the poneglyphs," he revealed, shocking us all.

"All the stones were made by them... and I never knew," Robin said in awe, her eyes wide with realization.

"The only thing passed down was the method to decipher the texts," added Raizo, his voice heavy with the weight of history.

The mood darkened as both Kin'emon and Kanjuro tensed at the mention of Oden, and Kin'emon’s voice wavered with emotion. "Lord Oden is gone… and Wano is... Wano is..."

Kin'emon couldn’t hold back his tears anymore, bowing his head and punching the ground in anguish. "Lord Oden was executed… by order of the Shogun of Wano, who is allied with Kaidou. But he faced his death willingly, to save his retainers."

We all gaped at the revelation, the gravity of it sinking in. Law, standing beside me, muttered, "This runs deep."

Kin'emon continued, his voice thick with grief. "Even today, the foul emperor Kaidou and his Beast Pirates control Wano. They don’t want our lives… they want the information we hold. You see, Lord Oden once traveled with the Pirate King, Gol D. Roger, and saw the final island—Laugh Tale."

The mention of Roger’s name sent a shiver through me, and I whispered, "Roger..." feeling the significance of it all. Law’s grip on me loosened as he absorbed the weight of the story.

"Momo’s dad used to be on Roger’s crew?" Luffy asked, wide-eyed, as the rest of us tried to process the revelation.

“That’s a big deal! Why didn’t you tell us this stuff?!” Luffy exclaimed, his usual carefree demeanor replaced by shock. Momo, still in tears, nodded, confirming the gravity of everything we’d just learned.

"So you’re saying Kaidou was using Doflamingo and Caesar to try and learn the world’s secrets or something?" Zoro asked as he sat on the ground, processing everything.

"Yes, that is correct," Kin’emon replied, his voice filled with regret. "We all failed to protect our lord, as samurai," he added, his head hung low. "His final message before his departure was, ‘Do it for me, open Wano’s borders.’" Kin’emon, Cat Viper, Dogstorm, Kanjuro, and Raizo all spoke the words in unison, their loyalty to Oden clear.

"But why?" Chopper asked innocently, his voice soft with concern.

"Wano’s borders have been closed for generations. No one is allowed to leave or enter the country," Brook explained, his somber tone matching the seriousness of the conversation. "But if they open the borders, it will allow them to interact with other countries."

Nami glanced at Momo, who was still crying, and instinctively moved to comfort him, but Luffy gently stopped her, a serious look on his face. "Still, we all must win. That’s why, in search of allies, we turned our attention to the sea. Our original destination was Zou," Kin’emon explained.

"The minks and the Kozuki clan are sworn allies," Dogstorm added, his voice filled with pride and determination.

"But we underestimated the enemy," Cat Viper and Dogstorm said in unison, both of them clearly frustrated by the events that had transpired.

"Hey, they played a dirty trick on you. Don’t beat yourselves up," Franky said, trying to lift their spirits.

"Yeah! How would you have known they were going to use that poison gas?" Usopp added, still angry about the underhanded tactics.

Both Cat Viper and Dogstorm looked ready for another round, their warrior spirits clearly unbroken. Kin’emon then made the bold request to Luffy and Law: to help them slay the Shogun of Wano and strike down Kaidou.

"I’m all about this alliance—the minks, the samurai, and ninjas!" Usopp shouted, suddenly excited at the idea.

"Will you assist us, Sir Luffy?" Kin’emon asked, his voice full of hope.

"I refuse," Luffy said without hesitation, shocking all of us.

"What?!" we all gasped in disbelief.

"It’s a no," Luffy repeated, standing firm as everyone started begging him to reconsider.

"Hold up, I think Luffy actually has a point here," Nami said, her back turned to us.

"Nami?" I whispered, confused at her change in tone.

"After all, we should negotiate," Nami added, her eyes gleaming with Berri signs.

"Nami..." I shook my head in disbelief, knowing exactly where her mind was at.

Luffy, however, had his sights set on Momo. "What are you, a figurehead? Huh, Momo?! You’re in charge, right? Say something already! You’re just going to cry?!"

Nami slapped Luffy, trying to get him to ease up, but Luffy continued to push Momo. "Come on, Momo! You want to be the leader, don’t you?!"

Brook chimed in, "Now, now, Luffy. You’re expecting too much from him. He’s just a child. Heirs don’t usually take the throne until they come of age."

Momo, still in tears, walked slowly toward Luffy. "Luffy... Luffy, I... I want to vanquish Emperor Kaidou. He’s the enemy of both my parents and the cause of their untimely deaths. I want nothing more than to grow up and be strong, so that one day, I might smite him... I want to protect my loyal servants as well. That’s why I must ask—will you please help? Please, Luffy... I beg of you..." Momo's voice was filled with determination and sorrow.

Luffy caught Momo’s face in his hand and smiled. "That’s more like it," he said, his tone finally softening. "Hey, Momo, let’s team up. Just leave Kaidou to me, and you’ve got an alliance," Luffy said, extending his hand.

Momo gripped Luffy’s hand tightly, tears streaming down his face as he thanked him. The sight of it made all of us smile. It was a moment of unity.

Law, who had been standing beside me, finally stepped away and approached Luffy, his usual calm broken by annoyance. "Hey, Strawhat, you should’ve run this by me first," Law said, irritation clear in his voice.

"It’s cool, right?" Luffy replied nonchalantly.

"It is, but still..." Law grumbled, his frustration evident.

"Then it’s settled," I said, breaking the tension as I walked over and sat down next to Zoro. Luffy laughed as Law glanced at me and blushed.

"Okay! Let’s gather around! Come on, everyone, are we all ready?!" Luffy shouted enthusiastically, raising his fist. "We’re going to kick Emperor Kaidou’s ass together!"

"The Ninja-Mink-Pirate Alliance!" Luffy declared as we all cheered in unison, pumped up for the coming battle.

"Do we really need the 'Ninja' part?" Nami asked, exasperated.

"Of course, we do!" Zoro, Franky, and Usopp barked back in unison, unwilling to let go of the idea.

"The target’s Kaidou, so Cat Viper, Dogstorm, Momo, Kin’emon, Kanjuro, Ninja guy, and Traffy—we've got a solid team. I don’t know much about Kaidou, but with an alliance like this, he’s toast!" Luffy said enthusiastically. "By the way, don’t ever bow your head to me again, or kneel. Us being in an alliance means we’re best friends too!" he added, grinning wide.

"We are not!" Law retorted, visibly annoyed.

"But if we’re working together, there’s one condition..." Luffy started, his expression growing serious. "Before we go anywhere, my crew is down a man."

"Gotcha, this is about Sanji," said Cat Viper, already putting the pieces together.

"What happened?" asked Dogstorm, his concern evident.

"I’m afraid that... is a long story," Nami sighed, the weight of recent events clearly heavy on her. "And on top of that, one of my crewmates is being forced into an arranged marriage with the Vinsmokes."

My jaw clenched as Luffy mentioned it, my frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

"I see..." Dogstorm said gravely. 

"How unfortunate, I did not know the reason for Sir Sanji’s absence, nor Lady Y/N's predicament." said Kinemon his expression somber

"Both Y/N and I are going to run off and rescue Sanji. We’re going to stop this arranged marriage of hers, so hold off on fighting until we get back," Luffy declared, his voice filled with determination.

"That’s your only condition? Then we shall gladly stand by," Raizo said, understanding the seriousness of the situation.

"Thank you," Luffy and I said in unison, sharing a brief, determined glance.

"And trust me, Sanji is as strong as a thousand people! When we bring him back, it’ll be worth it," Luffy added confidently.

"Then I’m worth two thousand people," Zoro said confidently, arms crossed as he glanced around at the crew.

Nami, with a smirk, reached over and patted his head. "Of course you are," she said in a teasing tone, knowing exactly how to stoke the rivalry between him and Sanji.

Before I could add my own comment, I suddenly felt strong arms wrap around my waist from behind, pulling me back into Zoro’s firm grip. His face rested near my neck, his voice low and teasing. "Right, princess?"

I smiled, leaning back into him with a chuckle. "Of course, Zoro. We’re partners, after all," I teased back, feeling the heat of his breath against my skin.

"I see, he'd be quite the asset; however, take precautions—this is Big Mom," Dogstorm cautioned.

"We're not planning on fighting her. Besides, we'll take Lion Viper," Luffy countered with a grin.

"Who is that?" Dogstorm asked, his brow furrowing as Cat Viper chuckled at the nickname Luffy had given Pekoms.

Minutes passed as we made our way down from the secret location. "In the meantime, I'd like to get in touch with a certain someone. It never hurts to add more manpower at our disposal," Cat Viper said thoughtfully.

"Who is it?" Luffy asked, curiosity shining in his eyes.

"He's the former commander of Whitebeard’s first division—Marco the Phoenix."

"Marco!" both Nami and I exclaimed in unison, while Luffy struggled to recall who he was.

"For real?!" Usopp added, incredulity evident on his face. Luffy scratched his head, still puzzled.

"He looks like a pineapple," Robin chimed in, and a look of recognition washed over Luffy.

"Oh yeah! He’s strong!" Luffy exclaimed, finally putting the pieces together.

Cat Viper explained how the remnants of Whitebeard's crew had fought against Blackbeard's crew, some of whom had since disappeared. "He fought with Blackbeard’s crew?" I asked, a mix of concern and curiosity in my voice.

"It was a massive confrontation; both sides brought reinforcements last year," Robin elaborated.

"Marco, in the end, was defeated. Afterward, Blackbeard received his recognition as one of the Four Emperors," she added.

"I see. I had no idea... Blackbeard! That bastard!" Luffy shouted, his fists clenched in anger.

"I do remember one thing, though. After I blacked out, Jinbe told me that some of Whitebeard’s crew stepped in to fight," Luffy recalled, his expression thoughtful. "I want to see him again and say thanks."

Cat Viper nodded. "I need to organize everything and get my ducks in a row so the plan can go into motion."

"Alright, should we divide into groups?" Luffy suggested.

"I’ll head to Wano," Kinemon stated, and we all voiced our concerns about Kaidou still being in charge, as well as how the shogun wanted them dead.

"If you travel in our submarine, you’d be pretty safe, wouldn’t you?" Law offered.

"Brilliant, Sir Law! You don’t mind harboring us on your vessel?" Kinemon asked, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"It’s fine," Law replied in his usual stoic manner, glancing at me. I shot him a soft smile, causing a slight blush to creep onto his cheeks.

"But you will need to seek cover. I can’t help you there," Law stated, his voice firm.

"That’s fine. Then I’ll look for Marco myself," Cat Viper said resolutely.

"We’ll meet at Wano and prepare for war, agreed?" Dogstorm confirmed.

"Okay then, it’s a plan!" Luffy said, excitement bubbling over.

"Well, see ya! You better not get lost," Zoro chimed in, crossing his arms with a smirk.

"Look who’s talking!" both Nami and I replied in unison, exchanging amused glances.

Suddenly, the minks rushed in, suggesting we should have a banquet to celebrate everything that had happened. Raizo was well, and both Cat Viper and Dogstorm were no longer fighting. The Kozuki clan was reunited once more.

As we made our way back to town, Luffy started cheering about food, but Nami quickly interrupted him. "Wait a minute, Luffy! What’s your priority right now? Stuffing your face or helping out your two crewmates?" she scolded.

"She’s sorta right, you know. As much as I want to celebrate, we’ve got to figure this one out," I added, gripping the hilt of my sword.

"So, Nami, you’re coming too?" Luffy asked, squished between the minks.

"Of course! I feel partially responsible for this whole mess, after all. Besides, how are you guys going to get there without a New World navigator?" Nami replied confidently.

"She’s got a point there," I said, scratching the back of my head, feeling a blush creeping up.

"Luffy, me too! Pekoms is severely injured; he needs a doctor," Chopper piped up, eager to join.

"And I..." Brook began, strumming his guitar strings, "for who will soothe your souls when the world gets you down... also, who will play your wedding march, Y/N!"

"Brook, for the last time! I’m not getting married!" I barked, exasperated and throwing my hands up in defeat.

"Well, Sanji might have something to say about that!" Usopp teased, a grin spreading across his face as he glanced at Zoro. "I mean, if he were here, he would totally take you away from Zoro!"

Zoro shot Usopp a fierce glare, frustration evident as he crossed his arms tighter. "I doubt that," he muttered, though a hint of protectiveness crept into his voice.

Law’s jaw tightened at the mention of Sanji, an annoyed look crossing his face. He seemed torn between concern for me and irritation at the situation. "You all just keep forgetting that this is serious," he said, trying to keep the mood focused.

Zoro stepped forward, determination etched on his face. "I’m coming too," he said firmly.

"No, you’re not, Zoro. I need to do this one on my own," I insisted, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"She’s right. If they have any more people, the whole plan is in jeopardy. Just grab Sanji, end the arranged marriage, and haul ass out of there," Franky added, his tone serious.

"But..." Zoro hesitated, clearly conflicted.

"Don’t worry, Zo. I’ll be fine. Besides, I’ve got to ask Sanji what he meant in that letter he wrote to me," I told him, trying to reassure him.

"Sanji is just going to hurt you..." he whispered, his voice low, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Why would you say that?" I questioned, genuinely puzzled.

"I just... I just know it!" he replied, frustration lacing his tone.

"Zoro, this is Sanji we’re talking about. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to do something that will completely and utterly destroy me," I reasoned.

"Don't worry about it, Zoro," I said, trying to lighten the mood, but I could see the tension in his posture.

"Just don’t get yourself hurt," Law interjected, his tone surprisingly gentle as he looked at me. I could sense the jealousy simmering beneath the surface in his gaze.

I smiled, touched by the gesture. "Of course! Besides, I'm carrying you with me," I said, holding out the necklace Law had given me.

Law blushed, a smirk playing on his lips as he stepped closer. "You’ll have to make sure to take good care of it," he said, his voice playful yet serious.

Zoro noticed our interaction, his jaw tightening slightly

As I turned back to Zoro, I noticed the determined look in his eyes, but it was accompanied by something deeper—something that suggested he was grappling with more than just the current situation.

Suddenly, he reached up, pulling off his signature black bandana. "Here," he said, his voice low as he approached me. He tied it gently around my head, making sure it fit snugly. "I'm giving this to you so that you know I'm always there with you, even when I'm not," he whispered, his eyes searching mine.

Before I could respond, he pulled me into a warm hug. His embrace was firm, yet there was a vulnerability in it that made my heart race. "You better come back to me," he added softly, his voice barely above a murmur, filled with unspoken worry.

Usopp, witnessing the intimate moment, raised his eyebrows in shock. "Whoa, did Zoro just go soft?" he exclaimed, a teasing grin spreading across his face.

Law shot a glare in Usopp’s direction, clearly feeling jealous and crossing his arms tighter. "Seriously, it’s not the time for jokes, Usopp," he said, annoyance evident in his tone.

Zoro stepped back, his expression hardening again, masking the angst that had briefly surface

"Stay safe out there, you guys," Usopp called out, his voice filled with concern as Nami, Chopper, Brook, Luffy, and I nodded in agreement.

"Of course!" Luffy replied, his usual enthusiasm shining through.

"Oh, Luffy... can you bring me a Poneglyph rubbing, pretty please?" Robin asked with a hopeful smile.

"Sure thing!" Luffy grinned, already imagining the adventure ahead.

"Good, so are we good now? Can we eat?" Luffy asked, rubbing his stomach.

"For real, I’m starving!" I laughed, feeling the familiar warmth of camaraderie among us.

Suddenly, Zoro’s hand went to the hilt of his sword, his expression shifting to one of concern. "Something wrong?" I whispered, sensing the tension in the air.

Cat Viper’s tail began to frizz up, and I noticed all the minks were growing restless. "What the hell?" Cat Viper exclaimed, his eyes darting around.

Before we could process what was happening, the ground began to tip over, and the minks started rolling. I struggled to hold on to the floor but kept slipping. Luffy held Nami and Brook close as they too were pulled by the sudden movement.

"Damn it!" I shouted, trying to regain my balance, but it was futile. The ground shifted again, and I lost my grip, rolling the other way. "Ahhh!" I screamed, panic rising as I tried to catch hold of anything.

"Y/N!" Luffy shouted, stretching his arm out just in time to grab me.

"Thanks, Luffy!" I said, relief flooding through me. "What’s happening?"

"Zou is shaking!" Wanda replied, her eyes wide with fear.

We shook again, and Luffy’s grip on me began to slip. "Luffy!" I yelled as Nami also lost her balance.

The shaking suddenly halted, but Luffy clutched his head, his expression troubled. "Luffy, what’s wrong?" I asked, my worry deepening.

"Can’t you hear?!" he exclaimed, eyes wide with concern.

"No, what’s happening?" Nami pressed, looking around frantically.

"Back away from the buildings! Everyone, let’s huddle together!" Wanda commanded, her voice steady despite the chaos.

"Does anyone know what’s going on here?!" Law shouted, his calm demeanor belying the urgency of the situation.

"Jack has returned!" Momo yelled, spotting a vision in the distance.

"It can't be!" Wanda gasped, fear etched on her face.

"I thought he was dead?" I said, grabbing my sword from its holster, ready to press one of the three gemstones adorned on its hilt. But then, I felt a different power surging through me. "What is this..." I thought, confused but intrigued.

"There are about five ships attacking his leg!" Momo shouted, both he and Luffy experiencing another voice together.

"You can hear Zou?" Nami asked, surprised.

"The elephant is asking for orders to go into battle!" Momo explained urgently.

"Luffy, urge Momo to tell the elephant to give the order, or else we all will drown and die!" I said, adrenaline pumping through me.

"Hurry up, Momo! Just do it!" Luffy pressed, his voice rising above the panic.

Momo quickly relayed the order, and the elephant began to shake again. I placed my sword back in its sheath behind me, gripping the floor once more as the tremors continued.

"It’s calm again," Franky announced, relief evident in his tone. "I can’t hear the loud voices anymore."

"Everyone! You won’t believe what I just saw!" the monkey shouted excitedly.

"So Zunesha used her own trunk for self-defense," Dogstorm explained, his eyes wide with realization.

"Hey, why the long faces?" Luffy exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, alright, good luck with that then. Anyway, we are about to take off now! Can we get some food before we go?" he asked, his hunger taking precedence once more.

I couldn’t help but laugh at his unwavering focus on food despite the chaos. "That’s Luffy for you!" I thought, feeling a mixture of anxiety and determination wash over me. We were about to confront Big Mom, save Sanji, and put an end to my forced marriage.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

His avoidance

I read this quote a few days ago and it reminded me of these two:

Source: Marriage.com YES! MARRIAGE DOT COM LOLOLOL!

So since I already went over her avoidant behavior 🔗 that might have as well cost us SYDCARMY this season:

Now I am gonna be fair because Carmy is avoidant too but differently. They are like "50 shades of I DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH MY FEELINGS, I RATHER COOK".

And in the bonus track, I will focus on the only great part of being a master avoidant.

So, Carmy... His avoidant behavior is a different shade of avoidance because while also being a defense mechanism, it is rooted in his C-PTSD, which he described in the AA meeting S1 monologue pretty well. He grew up in a totally different environment than Syd 🔗 but he also felt lonely and that scared him emotionally.

Avoidance resulted from that emotional scaring process that affects him even to this day. C-PTSD and PTSD are not the same, so it's important not to misdiagnose the two. Also, C-PTSD can cause autobiographical memory gaps but it only affects functional memory.

That being said, Carmy is extremely self-aware because he is an introvert. My theory also includes his AUADHD type, but I will not dive into that neurodivergency in this post, I will focus on his introverted type and avoidant behavior. That self-awareness is what differentiates him the most from Sydney who is an ambivert (extra-introvert). She defaults to denial, and he defaults to sublimation.

I went over his sublimation several times:

Here 🔗

Here 🔗

And here 🔗

Yeah... I gave it some thought ok?

Carmy doesn't avoid feeling, he avoids acknowledging, but he's not in full-on denial, he just dances around an idea, a concept he's fully aware of, and then decides to disregard it thinking that by doing so it will disappear. It doesn't and then it becomes ART.

It becomes ANGER.

It becomes INSOMNIA.

Just like in Syd's case, it becomes PANIC/ANXIETY.

It becomes ADDICTION.

It becomes silence that feels like something crashing his chest and not letting him say the words he wants to say OR cry. It becomes PARALISYS.

And he runs away from it by cooking or sketching, smoking, etc. Instead of facing it even if it hurts, elaborating on it and letting it out verbally, crying his heart out if necessary, and eventually healing.

I am positive that ended in 03x10 when he was strong enough to confront his nemesis and then have a good cry, finally!!! I was sooo happy for him, it broke my heart, but I was happy. He's finally on the mend.

Carmy will continue avoiding feelings he doesn't feel ready to cope with, deflecting and diverting to other stuff to fool himself, sure!

But this will not traumatize him anymore.

He will go about it differently now that he can let out certain things that were stuck in him for far too long. This will also enable other "un-stuck" processes, such as finally leaving C behind after having an adult conversation / giving that relationship the closure it deserves, which he has been avoiding since last season.

But for that, he will have to quit avoiding the reason why he stalled it in the first place, which I explained → here 🔗

I am sure S4 will be all about that because that's exactly where he ended last season, so it's the logical progression:

I bet everything on his success.

Avoidants are masters of the unspoken communication

Bonus track: Both Carmy and Syd are masters of unspoken communication, that's also why they end up overdoing it, they end up abusing that skill they have and it turns counterproductive. But it is a skill nonetheless. THOSE LOOKS, THOSE SILENCES, THAT UNSPOKEN LOVE, THEY CAN SAY IT ALL WITHOUT PRONOUNCING A SINGLE WORD OR BETWEEN THE LINES OF THE FEW WORDS THEY SAY. THEIR TRADE MARK. THEY MASTER SILENCES AND INFLECTIONS LIKE NO OTHERS. THEY CAN SAY IT ALL "DIFFERENTLY".

They got this. Let's give them more time. S4 is gonna be all about them learning to use their words "properly" after they stop avoiding the conversation they owe each other.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞 oh no Chris thinks he’s been replaced doesn’t he

He just might!

108 for 🪞:

---

“Okay,” Buck says calmly. “That looks like it really hurts. Can you come out so we can take a look at it?”

She shakes her head. 

“Wh-why not?” Buck asks. 

Her little face contorts with fear and discomfort.

“Dove,” Buck says. “There’s no fire, okay? It was a false alarm. You’re not in trouble. Was hiding the best idea? Maybe not. But I get why you did it. And all I want to do is make sure your head is fine, and then we can go home.”

She starts to cry, then lets go of her knees so she can twist and reach out to Buck.

“C’mere,” he says, reaching into the cupboard to pull her towards him. “Watch your head, okay?”

“‘Kay,” she mumbles. 

Once he has her out, he stands up, hoisting her up with him. He hugs her close to his body. 

“You’re okay now,” he promises. He kisses her cheek, soft with baby fat. “You’re gonna be fine.”

“You found me,” she whispers. 

“Of course I found you,” he says. “No matter what happens, I’m always going to come looking for you. You’re my kid. I’m always going to come.”

Dove exhales heavily. Like she’s releasing the fear inside her that no one would search for her when she’s lost. 

“Because you’re my dad now?” She asks in a tiny, nervous voice. 

Buck’s throat tightens. 

“Yeah, Dove,” he confirms. “Because I’m your dad.”

She leans against him some sort, clearly satisfied with this answer.

Buck turns back towards Eddie and Athena, ready to ask Eddie to check out Dove’s injury. But stops short a little, when he sees Eddie. Looking at the ground, Eddie is trying to be subtle about the fact that he’s wiping a fair amount of tears from his eyes. Eddie, who is usually so stoic. Buck doesn’t know what to think. But he doesn’t have the time to ask him right this very second. 

“Can you check out her head?” Buck asks. 

Eddie nods quickly. “Yep. Yeah.”

“Thanks,” Buck mumbles. 

“First aid kit is in the truck,” Eddie says. “Can you hold off until the parking lot, Duckling?”

“Uh huh,” Dove nods. 

“What a brave girl,” Athena smiles warmly.

Dove, not knowing who Athena is, looks at her over Buck’s shoulder.

“‘Cause my dad is a firefighter,” she says.

Buck thinks when he finally calms down, and everything catches up with him, he’ll probably cry about that later. 

▪️▪️▪️

Dove is fine. 

Eddie cleans her up and says they don’t have to worry about a concussion. Buck deals with the school while Athena wraps up the police presence. Then they take her home. On the drive back to the house, Buck finally feels his anxiety start to dwindle. She’s safe. She’s okay. This will all just have been a bad day soon. No harm done, in the long run. Other than perhaps a traumatic memory for poor Dove. 

She’s tired, understandably, when they get home. Buck suggests she nap before dinner. She’s usually somewhat nap averse, but today she doesn’t complain.

“I’ll just be downstairs if you need me,” he tells her as he tucks her in. “Okay?”

“Okay,” she yawns, snuggling her head into her pillow.

“Have a good nap,” he tells her as he heads for the door.

“Buck?” She calls before he can leave.. 

“Yes?” He asks, turning back to her. 

“Do I call you Dad now?” She asks. 

Not for the first time today, his heart stutters a little in his chest.

“Do you… Do you want to?” 

She gives him a tiny, nervous nod. 

“Then, of course. Yeah. You can.”

He tries to play this sort of casually. Like it’s not the coolest thing to ever happen to him. But it definitely is. 

“Okay,” she whispers. “I will.”

He smiles. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Dad.”

▪️▪️▪️

It’s clear when Buck makes it back downstairs, that Eddie is on his way out. He’s putting on his jacket, keys in his closed fist. He’s got a strange, tense look on his face. 

“Eddie?” Buck asks, frowning. “You’re heading out?”

Buck would prefer he stay. He wants to talk through what just happened. All of it. But he gets it if Eddie is tired. 

Eddie exhales. “Uh, yeah. I am. But, I need to talk to you first.”

[yandere-fics]

♡ Sawyer With Darling Who Is Like A Sister To Her ♡

(Doesn't make sense really but I wanted to be horny so excuse the canon divergence. Sawyer found you when she was younger and you were like her sister but later on the gods paired everyone with the person they were mostly compatible with and you became her soulmate. She tried to ignore it for years but you made it impossible to keep ignoring.)

You didn't know why you felt so nervous walking into her office today, your sister gave you everything you wanted as long as you asked but for some reason it just felt wrong to ask her for this. You were a grown adult though, you had been for a few centuries having the same lifespan as her now and what not but this felt like something you weren't allowed to have, she'd give you anything you asked for but it felt like this was where the line was drawn. Still you had to give it a try, you couldn't remain a single virgin your entire life and to be honest you needed your own partner to help you get over the crush you'd had on Sawyer your whole lives despite her being your adopted sister.

"Sawyer, can I ask for something?" She glanced up from her paper as you entered her office, your escort team quickly leaving as she pointed for you to come sit on her lap as you asked, she always did this which just made it even harder to feel confident in asking her for this. Plus if she did give you this, it would likely be the last time you sat on her lap asking for something since you'd be too excited living it up with your new companion, though it felt gross to think about it for some reason but that was just anxiety speaking. "I want a companion."

"My beloved sister, we already have a few dogs and a cat, are those not enough?" She furrowed her brows at you, she knew what you meant but she was hoping you wouldn't have the confidence to clarify what you meant and just go along with the assumption, how frustrating that you merely thought of her as your sister, she knew someday you might request a lover of your own considering the supernaturals all had soulmates and while she strong enough to be only your doting sister, not even holding you or being close to you in her heats even though her instincts were screaming at her to be close to you, but she wasn't strong enough or kind enough to watch you be close to anyone else. It was not happening.

"I want a mate-" She interrupted you with a loud frustrated sigh, both her hands settling on your hips, forcing you to straddle her so you couldn't look away from her face. "But I want a lover of my own!"

"Is that so... I suggest you put this topic away forever if you don't want to have everything ruined for you, I will not have my little sister getting with anyone, didn't we promise to live together forever? Well I refuse to have anyone else in OUR penthouse." She sighed placing her head on your shoulder and just deeply breathing for a second before lifting her head and releasing her hold. "I suggest you run along now, I'll buy you something nice tomorrow."

"This isn't fair Sawyer! I don't want to be single my whole life! Sawyer, I'm going to be very blunt, I want to lose my virginity but can't because you're meddling in my love life." She paused, ah so that's what this was about. Well you had always been very voracious, she often saw you withdraw money only to find out you went into a sex toy store and didn't want her to know about the purchase even though when you used them she could smell it all over the penthouse testing her limits even further.

"So that's what it's about, I see, well you really should have just asked." She lifted you up and bent you over her desk, causing you to yelp in surprise as she yanked down your pants and panties, her face inches away from you. "All you have to do is ask and I'll give it to you."

"W-what-" "Ask me to fuck you, I'll be your companion. Ask." Your cheeks flushed as you timidly asked her to be your companion. "Good girl, things didn't have to be this difficult, my beloved sister."

[traumacatholic]

Finally kind of feel in a position where I can post this. I realise that my last post and long disappearance was probably of great concern to some people, and I am deeply sorry for any worry or pain that I've caused other people with that long disappearance. There was a lot going on in my life, including moving house. And I think the longer I took a break from Tumblr, the more daunting it came to come back. But the fact of the matter is, I've cried over this blog a lot. Or rather, I've cried over the followers of this blog and the people that have engaged with it. I have been dealing with a great sense of guilt. Guilt that I've let you guys down. Guilt that I've betrayed you in some way.

Something that always pained me, was the reality of my own struggle to access mental health support. It's an unfortunate reality, that no matter how many times we might work to raise awareness, and tackle stigma surrounding mental health (particularly complex mental health issues like OCD or PTSD or Schizophrenia, etc). That this doesn't do much to tackle the core issue that's the main struggle for people: accessible healthcare. Be that to do with any financial costs or lengthy waiting lists or other issues. There was a sense of deep guilt of encouraging people to seek help, whilst also being fully aware that they might be even more disheartened if they reached out for help and were unable to get anything substantial. I would never want to build someone's hopes up in order to then shatter them. I've experienced it all too much with trying to access support on my own.

I also felt really guilty running this blog when I was struggling with Church attendance. It felt like I was lying about my piety, to people that were desperately trying to fight to be able to attend their Church and to be a part of Church life. I'm in a city now, and I've started attending Church regularly. I've been trying to get into the practice of daily prayer, and the daily readings of theological texts alongside Scripture. Some days are better than others, but then I guess that's always going to be the case. Something that was really deeply meaningful to me during RCIA was being told that conversion to the faith wasn't a one and done thing. Each day, we are constantly converting back. We are constantly returning to God and being renewed in our relationship with God, no matter how far we stumble or what kind of problems we stumble into - willing and unwillingly.

And this is where it gets, I guess, the scariest. I've been dealing a lot with anxieties and doubts surrounding my faith. Not in the, "Hey guys sorry I've taken a break and became atheist" kind of way. But I've been feeling a strong pull towards Orthodox Christianity. And the Church I've been attending, has been an Orthodox one. I don't know. It feels weird to type that one out. It felt so weird to call myself Catholic for a long time. And then I became so happy of the title, and I loved the faith. I still do, love Catholicism. But I think this is something I need to explore. I've been feeling the draw to Orthodoxy for a long time, and I always kept pushing it away. But I think the only real way I can really address it, is by actually giving it a fair chance and exploration.

I don't know what I'll do with this blog. I don't intend to delete it - I think there are still people that can find help and comfort from the prayers that I've posted. I do have a new Tumblr, where I post excerpts from Orthodox texts I've been reading. I do still feel really strongly about helping people struggling with mental and physical health issues, trauma survivors etc. I care intensely about that work. And it's why this post pains me so much. I still want to be able to give you guys help, you can always send a message over to my new blog @orthodoxadventure if you're in need of any prayers or advice surrounding mental health/trauma etc (also despite the circumstances, I did go through RCIA, and if anyone has any questions surrounding it, I'll try my best to answer) , and I think I'm going to make it a habit to check the blog here.

I'm deeply sorry to anyone that I've hurt by doing this. I would really appreciate your prayers. None of this is, particularly easy. I feel like I've let down and hurt so many people. But I also knew that the more I tried to resist the interest of Orthodoxy, the more I felt that I was letting myself down and letting my relationship with God down. Maybe in some time, I will return to Catholicism, much more content and happy and more knowledgeable in that choice. Maybe I will go further down the path to the Orthodox Church. But I knew I couldn't just feel like I was sitting on the fence any longer. I hope that you will be able to forgive me for this, and I intend to keep you all in my prayers.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

One Fan’s Thoughts on 9-1-1 Season 7

(fair warning this is about to be a long ass rant post so buckle up; if you, like me, get anxiety over speculation and discussion of the show, this may not be the post for you to read… but i need to get my thoughts out there because i have kept them bottled up for so long that it is taking a mental toll on me.)

there’s something so gutwrenching about laying awake in bed thinking about how you have been the closest you’ve ever been to actually seeing a queer ship you’ve stuck with for six years actually going canon just to be hit with an immensely overwhelming sense of doubt because every time the story presents a natural path to develop in that direction, the writers completely veer off in an insanely different direction despite constantly trying to push this narrative of “if it goes there naturally” while ignoring the plethora of times it already has gone there naturally but has been passed over for some insanely far-fetched plotline that contradicts points that have been set up in the past…

i’m not trying to put a dampner on things or worry anyone, and like i mentioned in my previous post i am NOT closing on buddie, but i still can’t help but feel cinical and pessimistic about it when it feels like Tim is just blatantly baiting us at this point. Like at times it doesn’t even feel like he’s actually open to exploring buddie when he is constantly retconning his own storylines from previous seasons, and making excuses every time he deliberately chooses to ignore the countless number of chances that crop up in the story, instead deciding that because he wants to redo hitchcock he’s going to rewrite the history he created in order to fit a convoluted plotline that borders on farse just to a) not give fans what they have been begging for for years, b) shoehorn in his vertigo fanfiction, c) stir up drama rather than actually giving us something pointing in a positive direction to combat the 5000 other depressing plotlines he’s trying to cram into a 10 episode season.

i really thought tim was going to bring back the old vibe we had before KR took over and messed things up, but so far this season has felt like a jam-packed rushed mess that resembles a middle schooler’s first forray into a wattpad angst fic, and it’s disheartening to have sat with the show since the first season just to see it fall off so hard w s6 b, only to rebuild hope that things might go back to normal w s7, just for it to spiral even further into jump-the-shark territory.

And this is not just about buddie. There have been numerous times this season that have just been recycled plot points from previous seasons rather than something new and fresh, simply for the sake of melodrama. Old plotlines that had been seemingly finished are being rehashed and recontextualized out of nowhere, characters are getting entire traits and development completely rewritten and replaced with something almost unrecognizable to newer fans, there has been very little positivity within the narrative to allow us to breathe between traumatic moments, and the few positive moments we have received have been lukewarm at best, and have done nothing but cause derision and hate to be spread throughout the fandom.

PR for this season has been a mess. At times it feels like Oliver Stark is the only actor who exists on the show, and that Buck is somehow the titular character— not that Buck’s coming out storyline is not important, it absolutely is, but the entire season should not be focused solely on him just because of a two episode arc that honestly didn’t tell us anything new about him besides canonically confirming what we’ve known to be true since the second season.

We have cast members stirring up drama by indulging fans through paid video responses, and cast members on live getting asked to weigh in on fandom drama that they honestly have no reason to be involved in. We have news outlets constantly being approved by the PR team to ask questions about a popular ship to bait viewers into watching the show when there has not been any concrete evidence either way of whether or not they actually plan to go there, dragging things out for another season when they have no confirmation yet in whether or not they will get a 9th season (and if they do, probably coming up with some other bullshit reason to drag things out), confirming that certain plot points were planned to happen in the past but for some reason now they are like “but that’s not what we’re doing anymore so you have to live with present and be happy with what you get.”

There is no reason why 6 years can’t be a long enough time for a slow burn. There is no reason for characters to be given increasingly convoluted arcs that callback to plotlines that have been otherwise nonexistent for years at this point. There is no reason to drag fans of a ship along just because you’re too scared to lose they’re viewership rather than just flat out saying “no we aren’t ever going to do it” or actually committing to it one of the hundreds of times the story opens a path to it.

No, the choices made this season were not “the only way” we could have been given the same dramatic beats. The choices made have not been some sort of end all be all to the story with no other possible outcome. Tim did not need to send the show off the rails the way he has just because he wants drama. Yes it’s a drama show, but there also need to be moments to breathe. Yes it’s a drama show, but that doesn’t mean you can’t let characters be happy. Yes it’s a drama show, but that doesnt mean you have to fuck up the narrative every time it starts going in the direction of something the fans have begged for for years just because you don’t want to give it to them.

It’s disappointing to see how careless they are being with things this season when previous seasons the actors and writers have been so cautious about what was said about buddie. now we have every interview mentioning buddie in some way, yet we only get told “idk 🤷” and see nothing concrete in the story to firmly hint one way or the other. It’s disappointing when you start feeling like you are being dragged along because a corporation knows that ship baiting won’t ever actually backfire/have a negative affect on them, so it ends up being a lose-lose situation for the fandom.

Maybe it’s because I have been burned too msny times by TV shows in the past, but nothing about this season or the PR surrounding it has given me faith that Tim or the writers actually care about anything other than viewership. Otherwise we would be seeing clear signs of the growing seeds of buddie, but so far all we’ve seen is the same framing choices that we’ve seen in every other season that are being made to deliberately keep buddie fans drawn in and theorizing when the writers have most likely already thrown out any plans that there might have ever been for buddie to go canon.

Mostly, I am disappointed in the fact that Oliver has been so heavily involved in pushing buddie speculation after being so careful to not lead people on in the past- i know that some believe that this was a sign that buddie is coming and he knows it is, but as the season draws to a close it feels more like he is just showing where his loyalty lies even though he knows the show isn’t going to take it there. I am not blaming oliver for buddie not going canon or trying to insinuate that he is queerbaiting in any way, but i can’t help but feel like i wouldn’t be so dejected about the way this season is going if he hadn’t started interacting with and sharing buddie content before any sort of confirmation was given.

now do not get me wrong i absolutely ADORE oliver and i am not in any way trying to attack him or speak against him in any way, I am simply saying that his sudden vocal support and campaigning for buddie is only going to add on to my disappointment in heaps if they don’t make buddie canon, especially after JLH said Tim made Madney happen bc she asked for it, but he still hasn’t made any sort of definitive move towards buddie after the same amount of time.

and lastly my disappointment also lies with the fact that ryan’s acting ability has been wasted on this crackfic plot… ryan is one of the most underutilized dramatic actors on the show, and the fact that the only serious arc he has gottne this season isn’t even that serious because of how out of character and preposterous it is is really disappointing. ryan deserves better, and eddie deserves better, and it is disappointing seeing him acting his entire heart and sole out in a plotline that makes his character out to be the bad guy in the situation when this is something eddie would never do under normal circumstances. Ryan’s talent has once again only been used to show trauma and this time it wasn’t even trauma that feels natural within the story, and especially after his recent interview it disappoints me that we are once again reiterating that eddie is somehow mentally unstable enough to have an emotional affair with a woman he knows nothing about just because she looks like shannon. Eddie has simultaneously had so much yet so little development, and seeing some of the theories of where his character is going in the context of ryan saying s8 will be a “reset” for eddie doesn’t fill me with excitement over where his story is going and actually makes me worried that we are going to see regression rather than progress for the sake of drama… i just don’t want to see eddie’s character revamped to a point where he has lost all of his development from the past 6 seasons just because Tim wanted to turn eddie’s plotline into a melodramatic telenovela.

Anyway, sorry for the rant— maybe it’s the stuff that’s going on in my personal life combined with the fear of getting played by yet another network tv show ship baiting that’s making me feel this way, but this season has left me feeling so pessimistic and cynical about the show as a whole, but mostly about buddie and it hurts. I love both of these characters dearly, and i want them to finally understand that everything they’ve ever needed in life they have in each other, but it feels like ever time we are on the verge, another wild card is played and it’s getting old atp.

i don’t say any of this to cause an argument. i don’t say any of this to poke and prod at people. i say this as someone who has loved this show and given it 7 years of my life who feels like my experience as a fan is being shat on in favor of melodrama rather than thoughtful storytelling… not to say there haven’t been really good moments this season, but overall, it has really soured things for me the way Tim has handled/taken the narrative in many ways, and I don’t know if I will be able to watch season 8 until i see concrete evidence that things will be better. i am not kidding when i say this takes the spot as my least favorite season after season 6, regardless of if we get any hope or not next ep… and that is what upsets me.

[those70scomics]

Fictober Day 10: "is this normal?"

That '70s Show Fanfiction

Eric tried, and failed, to fall asleep while Donna was reading. The dim light of her bed lamp, the rustling of book pages, and her Hmming and Huhing compelled him to sit up.

"I'll sleep on the couch," he said.

"What?" Donna closed her babycare book, one of a half-dozen stacked on her night table. "I thought I was being quiet."

"You were, but not for someone who needs to sleep."

"Well, you better get used to it because we're going to have a lot of sleepless nights soon."

Not soon. In six months, but Donna was acting like she could give birth any second. "That's exactly why we should take advantage of all the sleep we can get."

"Eric, I don't understand why you're not preparing like I am. Once this baby is out of me, she or he will be as much your responsibility as mine."

His throat thickened with regret. He had no idea she thought ... "Our baby is as much my responsibility now." His hand slid over her stomach beneath the sheets. "If I've made you feel like you're on your own here, I'm really sorry. Tell me what I can do."

She put down her book and exhaled a heavy breath. "You haven't. It's just ... you don't seem as scared as I am about becoming a parent. First we have to make sure our child survives infancy. Then we've got to find the balance between letting her make mistakes and protecting her ... or him. Between preserving his or her innocence and being honest about the world and the assholes who inhabit it."

"We'll figure it out." He moved his hand from her stomach to her cheek. "We'll figure it out because together we've figured out everything, right? I mean, we got through the change from friends to romantic partners. Through me being a dumbass when you first says, "I love you." Our first time having sex being awful for you. Our break up -- "

"Okay, okay," she said, laughing. "You don't have to go through the whole list."

"You sure? Because I'm the one screwed up during most of them. Hearing me admit it might cheer you up."

"That's not fair. Or what I want. We both screwed up a lot. What I need to know is -- " she pressed her hand to his chest "-- your heart's beating pretty fast."

He held her hand with both of his. "Donna, I've been so, so happy since we found out you're pregnant. And so, so, so terrified. My heart's been speeding for months. Before you ask, I did get it checked by a doctor. My EKG was normal. He told me I have anxiety."

She pulled him into a hug, tousling their bedsheets in the process. "Why didn't you tell me?" She squeezed him harder. "You should have said something!"

"I didn't want to cause you more stress," he choked out, and she released him. He inhaled a desperate breath. "You're nervous enough already. You haven't even told your dad you're pregnant. You're letting my mom announce it at her Halloween party."

She brushed her long hair from her face, and his heart beat faster. Her cheeks were flushed. She had to be feeling all kinds of emotions, but one emotion overshadowed all he felt: how in love with her he was.

"I've been so wrapped up in my own fear that I blinded myself to what you're going through," she said. "You come home from Blinkhorn Toys every day, sharing your enthusiasm for your work. I thought your babbling about that line of action figures you're developing was a little much but dismissed it since you often ... "

"Babble about my work?" He grinned, and she pecked his lips. "Hey what I do might not be as cool to most people as your career. I'm not interviewing rock stars or writing articles about them, but our kid's gonna think I'm the cool parent for at least the first ten years."

She kissed him again, and it turned into many more. He stopped them before he got her pregnant again, not that it was a possibility while she was already pregnant. ... He was mostly sure it wasn't possible.

"Okay, one more thing before we go to sleep," she said and laid her head on his chest in their bed. "The fact that it's October tenth and we've only told my mom and your parents about my pregnancy, is this normal?"

"It is for us." He caressed her arm over the sheets. "Should I list the many, many weird choices we've made throughout our lives?"

"Please don't. I've had enough of lists tonight, including the ones in the book I'm reading. I need to stop obsessing. It's not good for me or the baby."

He nuzzled her hair with his face. That was what he'd waited to hear, and his body and mind relaxed until he fell asleep.

[heyyyharry]

Loved the flatmate series!! Can you write some more blurbs pls

I haven't written a flatmate blurb in a while, but enjoy! :)

.

They were here again. Y/N knew it.

Every day she came home after a class, and every time her flatmate's friends were in her living room. At least she had her room to escape to, but she still paid rent every month, so she should be entitled to use the communal areas without the fear of being talked to.

Well, none of them actually talked to her, though, and that made her feel even worse.

"Hello, hello," Harry said when she came in.

He didn't even bother to turn his eyes away from the football game on TV. There might have been a goal, or one of the players did something outrageous, making him and the other boys -- Niall, Liam, and Louis -- scream and bury their faces in their hands.

"Oh, you ferking idiot!" Niall said.

"Should have been a penalty," Harry sighed, shaking his head.

Y/N rolled her eyes. She'd seen him play football, and even though she didn't know much about the sports, she still thought he was pretty shit. But clearly, he would know more than these professional players.

The sound of the front door open and shut caused her to turn around. Layla strutted in like her name was on the lease. "Hello, bitches," she said to the boys and breezed right past Y/N as if Y/Nweres a ghost.

Y/N's jaw was on the floor as she watched Layla head to the kitchen area and open the fridge to grab the milk before moving on to Y/N's mug collection in the cupboard and picking one of her favs.

"Harry, did you get herbal tea like I asked you to?" Layla asked, annoyed when she only saw the English Breakfast in the cupboard.

That's it, Y/N thought, fuming, and cleared her throat. Nobody batted an eye, so she raised her voice when she spoke, "Harry."

"Yeah?"

"A word, please?"

"Sure. Just five more minutes."

"Now."

Harry looked up, lips quivering, puppy dog eyes blinking at her, but she only stared back with a poker face until he dropped that fake expression and got up, sighing.

"Be right back," he said, moving away from the sofa now. "And Layla. Your herbal tea is in that Tesco bag."

"Yay!" Layla said and started digging through the grocery bag on the counter.

Y/N grabbed Harry's wrist and dragged him into his room.

"Hey, if we're gonna have sex, at least give me ten minutes to clear my bed," he said jokingly when she sat down on his bed.

She made a face, disgusted. Clearing your filthy bed would take at least a month." Then she looked around. "You know what? A flamethrower would fix the problem."

"What are you talking about? My room exudes manliness."

She didn't have time to argue with him as he clearly enjoyed the attention. "Let's get straight to the point," she said, squaring her shoulders.

He stood in front of her, arms crossed, back against his wardrobe. "Sure."

"This has to stop. Your friends can't be here 24/7."

"They're only here during the day."

"Yes! The only time they're not here is when we're sleeping. Otherwise I would be so sleep-deprived!" Y/N said. "Look, I have class in the morning and afternoon and my part-time job. I just want to go home to peace and quiet."

"You must be fun at parties."

"I'm really not. I don't go to parties for this very reason." She got up, staring up at him. She hated that he was tall because she never succeeded in trying to look intimidating while confronting him. But to be fair, it was hard to be intimidating when you had crippling anxiety.

"Your friends go or I will."

"What?"

"You heard me. Your friends go or I will move out after this month. This just gives me PTSD about my previous roommate in the student halls, and I don't want to go through it again."

"Alright, alright. I never thought it was this serious," he huffed, shoving his hand into his hair. "What if I tell them to be quieter?"

"That's impossible."

"Hey, my friends are capable of being quiet and respecting other people's boundaries," he said, but she didn't think he believed it himself.

Still, she agreed, "Fine. Talk to them then. Thanks for this efficient discussion."

Before he could say anything else, she pushed back him and went to her room.

***

Something was definitely wrong.

Today, Y/N came home and saw Harry's friends' shoes in the hall, but it was so silent in the flat. She couldn't hear the sound of the telly when she came in, not even Layla's annoying voice talking shit about a different person as she did every week.

"Hi?" she said, stopping in the doorway to the living room/kitchen area.

"Hey," they said at the same time and went back to doing their thing. Niall and Harry were watching football, but the TV was on mute. Layla was on her phone, and so was Louis.

"No way," Louis gasped, and Harry immediately shushed him.

"Sorry," Louis whispered, going back to texting.

It took Y/N a minute to realise he was texting Layla, who was sitting right beside him.

"Why aren't you guys talking?"

Ding. Her phone in her pocket vibrated. She looked up to catch Niall staring at her, phone in his hand. Had he just texted her?

She quickly checked the message.

Niall: Harry forbad us from talking

"Harry, really?" Y/N said. "This is ridiculous. Are you seriously doing this to mock me?"

"No," he whispered, not taking his eyes off the game on the TV.

"And what are you even watching? How do you know what's happening when it's mute?"

"We know how football works."

"Don't sass me with your creepy whispery voice."

"Just go do your thing and let us be, please," he said like he'd just lost his voice.

It was making her very frustrated, so she decided to head back to her room. Before she shut the door, however, she heard Layla speak.

"I kinda agree with her. This is ridiculous. I'm literally texting Louis when he's right next to me."

"I promised her we'd be quiet. So try to act like you guys aren't really here now that she's home."

"We can just go hang somewhere else?" Louis said.

"As if that was an option," Harry said. "You and Niall share a flat with five other people. Layla and Trix live in the student halls and I can barely fit her tiny single bed."

"Ew, you'll never get into my bed."

"The point is," Harry lowered his voice. "I'm showing Y/N that I'll go to the extreme to keep my word."

"Or...you can let her move out and put up an ad for her room. I'm sure there would be a long list of applications for you to choose from," Louis said.

"Hey, Y/N is cool," Harry said, to Y/N's surprise. He thought she was...cool? Her? Cool? "Besides, she...knows me. And I don't think anyone new will tolerate me the way she does. She's given me so many second chances, and I really don't want to fuck it up. So when she's not here, do whatever you want, because I love you guys and I want you to feel comfortable. But when she's home, respect her personal space. And Layla, those mugs are Y/N's so the next time you make tea, use mine. Y/N never says it, but I know she hates people using her stuff."

"Wow," Layla scoffed. "Okay, Ryan Gosling from The Notebook."

"I respect your decision, Harry," Niall said. Then Y/N heard them silently cheering for a goal.

[dysfunctionaldogdude]

You have cursed yourself with rambling. This may also lowkey be a vent but I'm unsure. Also hihi!

Autism support needs are hard for me to understand. To be fair a lot is. I had to rant to another mutual about it.

I can't live on my own or get a job or drive. I rely on our mother a lot for things and like.. With taking care of myself I only know how to like. Cook small things, some hygiene (but I still struggle LOTS) and like.. Idk

I also dropped out of high school. 🥲

I'm thankful for everyone else though!! My headmates I mean. Tbf we all struggle but like. Better all of us help each other than me being alone??

(Also I was just crying about Peridot but she's fine so whoops)

- Yellow (giving you nickname perms /at all of you)

[I hope you don't mind us answering this publicly - we can private it if needed]

I'm not an expert in autism - I think we might have it [so AuDHD] but we are a psychology student and plan to go get a degree for it [for criminal profiling and such]

I get that, I have pretty bad anxiety so I haven't learned to drive and I can't ride a bike for the life of me [I want to learn but like urgh been through bad accidents / family has been hospitalized before]

I REALLY wish we could help you with cooking!! We love cooking and baking and know how to make a lot of stuff due to needing to help my parents to make meals as I got older

I could maybe give you instructions on how to cook quick easy meals, like FULL meals that can be healthy and balanced [and portioned nicely!]. For a treat I can also send my mom's banana bread recipe if you like that kinda stuff it's really yummy and easy to make [Mostly mixing then waiting]

For hygiene we actually use to struggle with it badly! Now we don't really [other than the occasional day or two] We use an app called "Finch" it's like a small motivation task app where you can go adventures with a little bird [a finch] :) mine is called Pancake - She's currently visiting Cairo!

This is what the homepage looks like and you can see some of my tasks! [And Pancake!] This app has been a BIG help and keeps it fun by the dress up options, collecting micropets and customizing her tree house!

You can set any task you need and set which days you want them to pop up! Also if you enable notifications you can get a notification for the task if you set a time to receive a notification! :) helps me remember to check in on her

Also it sucks you dropped out :( ngl the only reason we haven't is me being a stubborn mule and family pressure [hence why I'm going to college for something I'll be able to focus on and not suck - I love learning about psychology - and specifically aiming for criminal psych cause I kinda want to reduce the number of jerk offs in the business and fight fire with invisible fire 👹😼]

I'm glad you have your headmates!! I'm honestly so grateful for mine since they helped me get through my ex and Phyce [who's CONKED] helps me kinda not break down when we're in public. At the seams bro, unmedicated, no diagnosis for certain things, and no therapy so it's good to have people to help no matter how little - little can go a long way!!! [Also I really hope you have therapy if not I'm pretty sure there's a lot of free therapy programs around that you could possibly apply for! I'm on a few waiting list - well for gender affirmative therapy since I would feel physically sick otherwise 😅 /lh]

Also yippee nickname privilege:3c