#like if it ends tragically wonderful spectacular obviously

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

if Arcane ends as a tragedy it will be the tragedy of the decade but consider that if it ends happily after everything we've seen already it will perhaps be the one single most important story I have ever seen for me

[caseylicious]

Hey! I have no clue if youre taking requests or not but. i love your writing and I was wondering If we could get a ROTTMNT Donnie x Reader who has hanahaki? It can be as angsty or as fluffy as you want it to be! i love your writing!! and I cant wait to read more!🐢✨

The One.

Summary: How does Donnie react to the reader with hanahaki?

Character: Donnie.

Reader: GENDER NEUTRAL

Relationship: CRUSH

Warnings: Mentions of puke/vomit, Development of depression(?), Negative comments towards oneself, Death.

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait dearest. Hanahaki.. a disease that I find so beautiful yet so tragic. My favorites of everything. Though if we were to think realistically? I'm sure half of our generation's population would perish to such a thing. Also, I'd like for you as the reader to choose your own flower which you sadly cough out. Since I'm unsure to what flowers represents unrequited love and heartbreak. So sorry if it isn't long enough </3 sorry if the plot is kinda wacky, especially with the ending,, sorry if it seems lazy </3 Now wondering if people still read this stuff. Now with that out of the way, please as always do enjoy.

As always! Please, Enjoy 💐

[ If you have any constructive criticism or corrections for any of my English do let me know! :) ]

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Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease where someone begins coughing up flower petals because they have unrequited feelings for someone. The flowers can grow in the stomach, lungs, or heart, though it is traditionally in the lungs. Hanahaki Disease is a painful, slow disease that often develops over months, if not years, and begins with coughing up a few petals, and grows in intensity and pain until the victim is coughing up entire flowers, at which point the disease has reached its final stages. If not treated, the disease is fatal.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

You've had a crush on Donnie for long time. It honestly.. was quite shocking when you found yourself falling for a turtle out of all things, but hey. We don't judge here. April introduced you to the brothers and wow. It's not everyday you can tell someone "I'm going to go hang out with four giant turtles! Later!" It was a strange thought, Donatello? What about him was so interesting for you to feel like this? but you chose to embrace this warmth.

Recently, Donnie has been working on something big. Or at least, that's what he claims his amazing project to be. Nobody had any idea what it possibly could've been due to either disinterest or for how secrecy about this operation. Only you knew about it, which made you feel special.

"Y/N, I need your opinion on my excellence." Donnie spoke aloud for you to hear, snapping you out of your trance. You were on top of one of the spare chairs in his little laboratory. Which in your opinion was the most calmest out of places. The other brothers were just.. too much. No offense to them, just.. sometimes it was too much for you to handle. You could let yourself relax in this purple tinted room. You glanced from your hands then to the purple-coded mutant. "H.. huh? What?" Quickly taking notice of your lack of focus, he smirks. As a iron claw from his shell reaches out to pull your spinny-chair closer to him. "I just need your opinion on something. Nothing too big, could you do that?" You nodded, giving him a little smirk. "Is this about your spectacular project Don?" He rolled his eyes, "Of course it is Y/N. This has to be my biggest project yet." "Even bigger than Shelldon?" You nudged his shoulder gently as he was rummaging for what he wanted to show you. "Well.. obviously not, but it's up there." He then turned toward your direction as he pulled out two metallic boxes. One in a dark magenta and one in his brand of purple. One of them was more shinier, due to the hue. However the other seemed more aesthetically pleasing. With carved pictures of lavender on the cover. What did Donnie want to ask? "Which box looks better? The Magenta one or.. the purple one?"

You tilted your head a little, "This is your big project?" "I can kick you out of my lab y'know." You chuckled, mumbling a short apology before looking between the two.. thinking just for a second or two before pointing at the purple one. "That one. That's definitely the one." Donnie snickered quietly, rolled his eyes placing the boxes away. "Alright then, the purple one. Why that one necessarily? Why is that one.. The One?" He watched as you stretched and adjusted to put one leg on top of the other. He opened his mouth about to say something, assumedly to catch your attention, before you interrupted him. "Well.. purple is your color. It's special. It represents royalty, nobility, luxury, and power! Almost everything you are..." .. "But.. well y'know, because I like flowers.." For a moment there was silence, before he smiled out of satisfaction. His smile in a way made your chest feel warm... "Well, I'm flattered you feel that way. And yes, of course I'm luxurious in my craft. My creations powerful and mighty as I design them to be..." He leaned a little closer to you unknowingly. You felt your cheeks feel warm as you quickly looked between him and the floor. "Can I at least know what's this whole project is about?" He shrugged, "Wish I could, but I have to wait for the right time to take action..." You watched as he trailed off. Your hand slowly grabbed ahold of a simple wooden pencil, tapping the metal table one. "Don? What's up?"

His eyes trailed up, to make eye contact with you. ".. If I were to give this to somebody, what color do you think they'd like?" You blinked quietly, looking up at him "Well.. it really depends on the person..." He chuckled for a moment, glancing away from you. Bringing up a hand to scratch the back of his neck. "Well that's why I a-" He was quickly interrupted with Leo running throughout his room, "Don- Say- what do I do if I somehow broke.. shelldon?" ... "Again-?" Donnie quickly got up frantically, "How did you manage to break him again?!" "More or so malfunction- Not my fault-!!" "Leo!!" And off he went, running out of his lab to go fix his creation with Leo. You were left by yourself, as you quickly shoved your head into your hands. Why did you word your reason like that..?! God, that was so embarrassing. You bit the inside of your cheek suffering for a couple of minutes. Before the thought appeared in your head, ... What was he going to say?

That was only a couple months ago, you decided to ignore it. But it just kept bothering you... alongside the burning flame inside of you for one person, Donnie. What started as a small thought then slowly developed into something bigger throughout your mind; almost like wildfire. Your feelings somehow just came at once when you were around him. When you felt his fingers rub against yours when he reached for his toolbox, when he spoke to you, when he gave you the littlest of attention, his smile. The thought of Donnie alone danced through your mind, a duet just for the both of you.. oh how sweet that was...

That was until you've noticed how he acted around April. At first you ignored it, April and Donnie were strictly friends. If not at least platonic... right? You weren't insecure of yourself that much. You felt that you and Donnie were at a good point in your friendship to consider the both of you as close. But watching them laugh together made you upset. This was normal, there was no need for you to feel like this... but April was closer to him more than you were with Donnie, you don't really know how they met. They could've known each other since they were kids, they could've been secretly together without you knowing- now that was just foolish.

At first when you saw April around Donnie, you felt a small nab at your gut. At first it was simple jealousy. The jealousy you feel when your crush shows more interest in another person. You though that, surely this feeling would pass. It wasn't important, this was something you could most definitely overcome.. but as each week passed, you felt something building up in your gut. Until you saw Donnie showing off that special little box infront of April.. Wasn't that your special secret? Why is he showing her? No- Stop it. They're just friends. That didn't mean anything- your train of thought came to an abrupt stop when you suddenly felt the urge to puke.

You pushed yourself into your bathroom, quickly slamming the door shut. You frantically made your way to the sink, which was alone a whole struggle. Your vision was hazy, you were warm, everything just hurt. The stabbing that once was tolerable became a distraction, which soon became a jab into your throat. You couldn't breathe. Were you choking? You didn't know, you just desperately held onto the sides of the sink and coughed out whatever you could... You already felt like you were fighting for your life. What the hell was stuck in your throat? And finally, something came out. You gasped for a breath of fresh air. You could breathe.. it was only when you looked down you saw something truly horrific. "..O.. oh my god..."

Petals. You stared in horror to the petal and blood mixed vomit in the sink. How? How was this possible? There was no way that actually existed... You went to your local pharmacist to get a diagnosis just to be sure and you were right. You were diagnosed with the Hanahaki disease. They said that you were already so deep in this sickness. The only way to get rid of this disgraceful disease was to have a surgery performed on you, but that would mean to risk losing all your feelings for Donnie. You couldn't possibly do that, you'd rather sit in your own suffering than to forget how you felt for Donnie. So that's what you did. You tried to keep your distance, but April just kept bringing you to the lair. You could've said no, you could've avoided this whole mess together. Yet something inside of you kept telling you to go. Maybe it was the thought of Donnie or to avoid suspicion, you didn't really have a clue what it was. Nonetheless you kept going down, and seeing Donnie. You tried to look okay, but you struggled. Donnie was sure to notice, especially with the fact the pain that was in your lungs soon changed how you acted around them.

You always were somehow able to excuse yourself when it got bad though. It was a simple system of running to the Hamato bathroom when nobody was noticing. You felt ashamed of doing this without nobody knowing.. but what would Donnie think? You had nightmares of him becoming scared of you. You didn't want him to force himself to feel anything just for you to become better. You didn't want to act out on them any of them, but how could you not? You were in pain... Sooner or later this disease would win the fight and destroy you. You feared death, but.. Donnie... You just wanted was best for him. Even if he didn't ask for it, your insecurity clouded your line of thought. It clouded any consideration that maybe April, Donnie, anybody was worried for your mental being. How you felt. But that didn't matter. Soon your sickness took over your ability to move your arms, your legs, it hurt to even get up.

Your dear friend April stood outside your bedroom door. She had a spare key to your house, you just trusted her that much. Before this whole mess you two were inseparable in school... she was a kind girl, determined, perhaps had more in common with Donnie... No wonder he gave her his attention. "Y/N! Ready to go see the guys?" You quickly turned your head to the door, .. right. You were going to go see them. "C- coming..! Just have to put on my.. uhh.. shirt." "Well hurry up, don't want to keep them waiting!" Grabbing the graphic tee, you gulped. There were thorns blistering through your forearm, flowers dangerously close to blooming. You couldn't wear a shirt. You swiftly grabbed a sweatshirt, forcing it on. It stung to even rest properly in it as tears swelled in your eyes as you let out a sniffle. "Y/N? Are you cryng-?" It hurt to do anything... You lip quivered. This was pathetic; embarrassing. You couldn't do anything! April knocked on the side of your door, why was she even here? Was she mocking you? "Y/N, are you oka-" "Why are you even here?! Just leave! Get out-!" You quickly fell to your knees, covering your mouth one hand. As the other held tight to your stomach. You stayed like that for about a minute or so before you heard the door close. Once you've confirmed it was actually closed and locked, you immediately dropped to your knees and coughed out blood. Flower petals dropping from your mouth, mixed with blood. A burning agonizing sting filling your throat as you cried. She was gone. You pushed her away.. over what? Some stupid crush you have on a turtle?

A couple weeks passed as you chose to isolate yourself from the outside world. You just laid in bed, feeling vines grow inside of you. As the vines creeped through your bones. It was agonizing... was this how you were going to die? Laying in bed? Perhaps this was more preferred. Nobody needed to see what you have become. You felt like a monstrosity.. vines and leaves growing through your skin. Mixed-in with blood.. And besides, you were in the comfort of something familiar, your bedroom. God... how pathetic you were. At least Donnie wouldn't have to see you like this.. right?

... April knocked on the side of Donnie's lab door, watching Donnie turn to her. "Yo Don, could I talk to you?" He nodded, turning away from her to focus on his project. Letting her sit in the spare chair as she quickly spoke. "Do you know what's up with Y/N? They've been acting off lately." Donnie came to a pause, slowly glancing towards April. "No, I don't know what's wrong with them. Do you know?" April shook her head with a frown. "Last time I saw them, they seemed upset. I tried to leave them alone for a week.. but I don't know. I'm just worried." as they both sighed. Donnie crossed his arms letting the little claws from his battle shell continue on with his project for him. "I.. see. Have you tried calling them? They usually answer right?" April nodded, pulling out her phone to look at. Scrolling through her contacts before pressing on one with your name. "I've called them recently, they didn't answer. They always answer.." Donnie hummed, soon getting off his chair. "Well.. I have no clue what could possibly be keeping them away from the phone. I could try going out myself to see them. Though I can't guarantee they'll answer me." "Wait, before you go? Take this." She quickly walked over to Donnie, dropping a key into his hands. "It's their keys.. uhm, how do you plan on getting them to talk?" and Donnie sighs, pulling out the same box shown months ago. "I think now would be a good time to show them this." April quickly noticed what it was before nodding firmly, before she watched his battle shell become a jetpack. Flying him out of the sewers and towards your apartment.

You laid in your bed, feeling the moonlight hit your skin. You felt yourself fade away so very slowly. To see Donnie would be a curse.. or would it be a blessing? You didn't really have a clue how you'd feel anymore. It hurts to think about him. You sort of accepted your fate to end like this. Wherever you stepped, there was a loud crunch. Whenever you spoke, there was a tight squeeze around your neck. The petals always became more horrific, covered in blood and bone. You were fine dying like this though. Feeling yourself break down into nothing but flora. You could feel your last breathe coming, god this hurt-

"Y/N! Are you home!"

You heard a loud banging against your window. Your eyes widened in horror begging to any existing force that it wasn't who you thought it was.

"It's Donnie, my brothers and April were worried about you." ... "I was worried about you, can you please come out and talk?"

As you opened your mouth trying to get a word out, you suddenly felt your body burn. This may have been the worst pain you've ever felt throughout your whole illness. You couldn't even say anything, no matter how hard you tried. As your heart ached, the vines and thorns only became tighter. Stabbing into your muscle and popping veins. You choked on your blood and the thorns stabbing into your throat. Donnie panicked when he heard you whimper as he quickly attempted to break through your window. You shut your eyes tightly, wishing for this pain to go away. The last thing you hearing was the window shatter and fall to the floor. Donnie fell to the floor, quickly getting up. Only to be horrified to what he saw. It was your body, flowers bloomed out of your skin. He watched as another flower bloom out of your mouth. "Y/N..? Oh my god-"

He rushed to your side, looking at your pale skin.. He knew immediately what this was. This was Hanahaki, the deadly love disease those who were unfortunate enough suffered from. The realization itself was horrifying, alongside with your dead body. It was unsettling how a few seconds ago, he heard you choke on your blood and whimper, just to only then see your peaceful body. In your bedroom out of all places, you looked like you were asleep. He almost mistaken this to only be a bad dream, but he knew it wasn't. He felt a tear roll down his cheek as his breath stuttered. Donnie gently took out the box he had in his shell. Slowly looking down at it, the purple box had flowers engraved on the sides. A painful match to the flowers wrapped around your body, he slowly opened it as a butterfly flew out. Specifically in your favorite color, watching it glow and fly around before landing on the flower coming out of your mouth. As he fell to his knees, holding onto your frail delicate hand tightly. As he sobbed your name, mourning you. For never being to tell you how he felt. For how he loved you, and how you were The One so dear to his heart.

[capriddle]

HotD spoilers/favorite character analysis

🥉Aegon II 'the Elder' Targaryen

I'll start by saying that he, being a rapist, is here by a miracle (as he miraculously survived the fire of Vhagar), because usually the only desire I have for characters who do something similar is to see them die badly, and in fact here the situation does not change, however I admit that if he had not done this Aegon would be one of my favorite characters and instead he remains the third best character for me in terms of construction of this season. I loved the tragic development of the character, incapable but willing, forced onto the throne and deprived of power by his own Council. Thanks to the scenes with Sunfyre, with Alicent and Aemond, the beginning of the hints of the relationship with Larys, his brilliant interpreter Tom Glynn-Carney helped by an excellent script gave life to what in my opinion is one of the best characters of this season.

🥈Rhaenys 'the Queen Who Never Was' Targaryen

I have little to say about her, except that I have loved her since the first episode of the first season. A strong, proud, proud and wise woman. A fighter to the end. What a queen she would have been and what scenes she gave us. Her death was painful as well as spectacular, thanks also to the relationship shown between Rhaenys and her Meleys. Eva Best was a great interpreter, perfect for Rhaenys, who brought her to life in a wonderful way. She will be greatly missed.

🥇 Aemond 'One-Eye' Targaryen

Obviously my first post goes to him, who from the most hated in the book is currently the most loved in the series. I loved madly the way they made Aemond, showing him from the first season as a child victim of bullying who, from the conquest of Vhagar onwards, begins to acquire more and more strength and awareness. Victim of his nephews, but above all of his brother Aegon, he decides to take his revenge (intentionally or not), even going so far as to reign in place of his brother. As a boy full of fragilities, first of all the relationship of lack with his mother, he decides to give a twist to his being, transforming himself into the dark and cruel prince of the books, but with a progressive transformation that in my opinion makes him interesting and multifaceted. Here too I cannot fail to mention the skill of his interpreter Ewan Mitchell, who was able to highlight with meticulousness every little emotion of our prince.

Notes of merit:

🔥King Viserys 'the Peaceful' Targaryen

My favorite character from the first season, who I mention because he returned in Daemon's visions. King, imperfect man and father, with a big heart and many regrets on his conscience, he did his best and everyone knows it, so they forgive his mistakes. He too is a magnificently tragic character, played by a very good Paddy Considine. I miss you my king!

❤️Queen Daenerys 'the Princess Who Was Promised' Targaryen

My great love. The one who made me start GoT and introduced me to Westeros. I mention her because she appears for a few moments (literally terrifying for me) but that is enough for me to praise her again. Because without her, HotD would not exist, nor my passion for the characters of Westeros. She is the one I miss the most, her and the wonder Emilia Clarke. Thank you for everything my queen, I will never forget you.

P.S: I always knew you were 'the prince who was promised' and not the snowman😏🤭😉.

P.S.S: Waiting for the development of my little Aegon (Rhaenyra's son) which I hope will be like in the book and the series about Aegon the Conqueror to see my Visenya!

[the-celluloid-correspondent]

Napoleon Review

A look at the military commander's origins and his swift, ruthless climb to emperor, viewed through the prism of his addictive and often volatile relationship with his wife and one true love, Josephine. 

I have been waiting since January of this year to talk about Ridley Scott, Napoleon, a biopic about the notorious French emperor who almost brought Europe to its knees. Outside of some alternate takes and different editing, it was relatively the same film.  This did not surprise me, as I could not see what changes they could have made outside of adding 10+ hours of footage and turning it into a miniseries. 

Napoleon is Ridley Scott at his best and worst. At 85 years old, Scott still knows how to make a stunning historical epic. The sweeping battles of the Napoleonic Wars are enthralling to watch on the big screen and are worth the price of admission alone. However, once the film gets outside of the battles you have a mess of a story that is riddled with all the standard issues of a biopic. Too much story to tell and not enough time to do it justice. 

Napoleon’s life simply can not be compressed into 2.5 hours as it is far too vast and complicated. Because of this problem, the film either glosses over or boils many of his greatest victories and defeats into simple, one-sentence summaries. I wanted to see how Napoleon ticked and how his relationships between his military cabinet, politicians, and the public changed throughout the Napoleonic Wars. How did Napoleon brew up his military strategies and what led him to war? These elements and many more are never explored outside of a sentence stated here and there. Thus creating an uneven film. 

However, the most disappointing element of the film was the short Frenchman himself. I understand this take on Napoleon was meant to tear down the mythological militant commander and show his true petty and egotistical colors. But I believe Scott takes this deconstruction too far as it makes you wonder how a pathetic manchild almost conquered all of Europe. The film forgets that Napoleon was a brilliant military strategist and a charismatic leader. They show these characteristics from time to time, but when he is a buffoon for the majority of it, it is hard to take him seriously. 

I am unable to tell if this was due to the writing, acting, or both. The writing was obviously off, but I can’t help but think Joaquin Phoenix was miscast. He does a fantastic job with the material he is given, especially showing the Napoleon Complex, but he doesn’t feel like Napoleon. He comes across as a pathetic manchild rather than a brilliant military commander who has an ego problem. Sadly, the same can also be stated with Vanessa Kirby as Josephine. Her performance is outstanding, but she does feel miscast as the film greatly misunderstands the divorce between Josephine and Napoleon. If you were unaware, Josephine was 6 years older than Napoleon. So they either needed to age Kirby, like they did with Phoenix, or cast an actress who is a similar age to Phoenix. They divorced not because she couldn’t have children, but because she couldn't have children anymore. She was 54 when their marriage ended, meaning that her childbearing days were long gone. Gone even before Napoleon became emperor. So to cast a 35-year-old Vanessa Kirby as a post-menopausal woman is an insult to many middle-aged actresses in Hollywood who could have shown how tragic their divorce was. 

With those complaints stated Napoleon is still a very entertaining film. As previously stated the battle scenes are spectacular to watch and are worth the price of admission alone. The film is surprisingly funny with slapstick humor and some funny quotes, even when it's unintentional. I look forward to the 4.5-hour director cut as it will most likely alleviate some of the complaints that I have with the theatrical cut. However, even 4.5 hours does not feel like enough time to do Napoleon's life justice.

My Rating: B-

[listieshadows]

Listie says some words about every new movie she saw in July 2023 that she hadn't seen before

Eh, why not? I may as well say a few words about every movie I saw last month that I hadn't already seen before (at least according to the spreadsheet I've been keeping up with since February 2017). So, here we go—below the cut, of course, since this is gonna really run long.

(A note from right before I posted this: I actually kind of underestimated how long this would be when I started writing this, oh my goodness. This is 22 films I said words about down there.)

Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny (2023)

Date seen: 2023-07-02

I'll admit I liked this one more coming out of the theater than I do now, so many days removed from it. Back when I made my Indiana Jones ranking post, I ranked it dead in the middle, as worse than Last Crusade and better than Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, but, honestly? I think I might like Crystal Skull a it better than this, actually?

Of course, I might change my mind again if I ever re-watch it, but... I don't know. I can't exactly pinpoint anything specific about it. There's not even nitpicks I can point to to make a mountain-out-of-a-molehill deal out of like everyone did back when Crystal Skull was released.

And, actually, maybe it is just that Dial doesn't have any big, goofy, unbelievable movie serial/B-movie moments like any of the others did. For the most part, it is kind of just a Fast & Furious spectacle with some tomb raiding thrown in there. And when we do get that big moment... Somehow, in a franchise where aliens have already happened, this still seems like a small step too far?

I don't know. I'm not gonna declare it the worst film of 2023 like I'm sure some other people already have, because I did enjoy my time in the theater. I didn't start to wonder two-thirds of the way through "Maybe this isn't good, actually?" like I did SHAZAM! Fury Of The Gods. I'unno. At any rate, this still feels like a better adventure for Jones to bow out on than Crustal Skull. At least until they deepfake Harrison Ford for a sixth film, anyway.

Nimona (2023)

Date seen: 2023-07-03

Jeez, and I'd thought that Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse would the best 2023 film I'd see all year. Like, I knew Nimona would be good, but I didn't expect it to hit me as hard as it can. It legitimately made me cry, which, despite how much my mom teases me about it, is not something I do that often.

It really is incredible to me that Disney left this movie to die when they shut down Blue Sky, but they still let The Ice Age Adventures Of Buck Wild happen. And, gawd, I thought it was a slap in the face before, because it seemed like the only thing Disney wanted to do with Blue Sky was milk the dead cow that is the Ice Age franchise even further (I haven't even seen the Scratt shorts)... And, really, if Blue Sky hadn't been closed down, its biggest crime is that it would've been boring, and potentially pointless if the Buck Wild TV series that this movie was obviously a pilot for never happened.

But in the wake of Nimona's release, The Ice Age Adventures Of Buck Wild is even worse, because Nimona, no doubt, would've been Blue Sky's best movie. Maybe even better than The Peanuts Movie. And that just makes it all the more tragic that Blue Sky was closed before they could finally hit their creative stride.

Also, Nimona ended the same way that Spider-Man: Homecoming did, and part of me's grateful that it did, 'cuz I actually would've been bawling for the next hour or so if it didn't, and I had other shit to do, so...

Mission: Impossible III (2006)

Date seen: 2023-07-03

At the start of July I was in the middle of watching all of the Mission: Impossible movies into the lead-up to Dead Reckoning Part One (more on that later!), and of course this is the last of the "original trilogy," as I like to think of it, before they went from spy thrillers to Jackie Chan stunt spectaculars.

And, honestly, of all of the films, this might be my least favorite?

Like, I'unno, in general, I prefer the more stunt-focused flicks to these, but even besides that... I just really didn't take to it? Like, the first one does the spy stuff the best, I think, and then the sequel is stupid, enjoyable John Woo nonsense. But this? It's the one I'd return to the least.

I mean, maybe I'm just pissed that they never told me what the hell the Rabbit's Foot was.

Independence Day (1996)

Date seen: 2023-07-04

I don't have much to say about this one, really. It's just stupid, popcorn fun. Like, yeah, it's overly jingoistic, but Will Smith punches out an alien and a whole shit-ton of miniatures blow up. Come on, that's entertainment.

I mean, at any rate, I enjoyed watching this movie more than Anonymous. At least this movie didn't put forward any Anti-Stratfordian conspiracy theories.

Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation (2015)

Date watched: 2023-07-08

Surprisingly, this was the only one of the "latter trilogy" that I hadn't seen before this year. I'm not entirely sure why. I mean, I believe all three were available to me when I watched Ghost Protocol and Fallout, so I can't exactly figure out why it took me this long.

And big surprise, it's as much of a fun, thrilling spy action stunt spectacular as the other two. I wasn't expecting anything less.

Part of me kind of feels like these three are sort of interchangeable—like, if you wanna watch a spy movie where Tom Cruise risks his life being very high up in the air, you'd be fine with any of these. Of course, that's ignoring the actual stories, and I'm not saying they're bad in calling them interchangeable. Just that, in the future, if I were to try and figure out which one to watch, I'd have a hard time 'cuz they're all so equally good.

Maybe I'd just make it easy and put on Mission: Impossible 2, I'unno.

Spinout (1966)

Date watched: 2023-07-10

I've already talked about this movie in a previous post, so I'll just direct you there if you wanna hear my thoughts about it. Y'know, if you're really dying to find out what some random user on Tumblr thinks about Elvis's twentieth-some movie.

The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

Date watched: 2023-07-15

I plan to watch all of the Transformers movie this August, so I figured I may as well take the time to watch the original flick. Which, really, let's be honest, mostly served just to wipe most of the previous cast away so they could promote new toys.

I didn't not enjoy this movie, don't get me wrong, but obviously I didn't get as much out of it as I could have. Like, if I were a kid in the 80's, or if I were deeply invested in the cartoon, or if I didn't know that Optimus comes back, dies and comes back in the season of the show following this movie. Mostly, I just wanted to hear Eric Idle and Orson Welles, watch some robots beat up other robots, listen to one of the characters say "Aw, shit!" and devour the film's gloriously cheesy 80's soundtrack, which even includes Weird Al's "Dare To Be Stupid". And I got all that, so...

My friend Aylo didn't like it when I said that Hot Rod is partially responsible for Optimus Prime's death, but, hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em. Also, I mistook Hot Rod for Wheelie, and I wanted to perpetuate those allegations just to spite Wheelie.

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

Date watched: 2023-07-16

I mean this in the best way possible—this movie frustrated the shit out of me. I just wanted Ethan to keep a hold on that damn key, but it just kept on getting yoinked out of his hands by some damn pickpocket or whoever. And, like, I mean it in the best way because that does mean I was invested in what was going on enough to care, but gaaaawd, how is this the person Ethan's had the most trouble with?

This movie's portrayal of A.I. is exactly what both A.I. evangelists and doomsayers clam it will be.

The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension (1984)

Date watched: 2023-07-18

Is this what all superhero movies feel like to people who aren't deeply invested in them? 'Cuz I found it pretty dang enjoyable if it is.

Also, I accidentally learned why that watermelon was there, and it bums me out because I liked the mystery way more.

Ruthless People (1986)

Date watched: 2023-07-20

This is a fine black comedy, but certainly not the best Zucker/Abrams/Zucker. I mean, literally, the only times I remembered that they directed this was the opening credits and the closing credits. In-between? I'unno, maybe I was just too distracted by Danny DeVito to remember.

And, yes, I did watch this movie entirely because its title song was the subject of Weird Al's only miss in parodying a hit, "Toothless People". Indeed, it really isn't even the best parody on the album. Not even "Addicted To Spuds" is right there with the line "Some tater tots would blow your mind!"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze (1991)

Date watched: 2023-07-20

The second part of my preparation for the upcoming Turtles movie this August, and... I don't think it's that much worse than the first, honestly? Clearly not as good, of course, but I'd give it a thumbs up.

This movie reminds me a lot of Ghostbusters II, where the tone was lightened up quite a bit from the first film because there was a franchise and a Saturday morning cartoon all the little kids were into. Now, true, the Turtles were already a franchise and cartoon beforehand, so it's not a 100% accurate comparison, but you get what I mean. After the first film, which was based more on the original comics, proved to be a success, the sequel was made to fit in better with how most people knew the TMNT.

But, again, I don't think it's a total downgrade. I can still take this mostly seriously, even with some of the dumber lines and moments. And at least we still have the Henson costumes. Can't argue with those.

Really, the only part that absolutely stunk was the anti-climax of Super Shredder. Like, even the appearance of Vanilla Ice got a laugh of me because... Come on, it's Vanilla Ice. What else was I supposed to do?

Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)

Date watched: 2023-07-22

I watched this to celebrate the one-year anniversary of me watching all of the Superman movies I hadn't seen before (which meant "literally all of them except the DCEU two"), and in the intermediate time I've seen a lot of other movies, so I can't exactly tell you how this cut stacks up to the original, but... It's Superman II. It's the best of all of 'em. Can't argue with it.

I don't think you should watch this over the theatrical cut, but if you're curious to see how Donner would've cut it, I say go for it.

And, hey, 'know, this didn't cost Warner Bros. millions like that other time they let someone recut one of their DC movies (and, yes, thank you, I do refuse to watch it—or the original for that matter).

But so we don't go to the next film on that note, I wanna confess that the only thing I noticed different from the original cut was when I thought, "Hey, waitaminute—that shot where Superman blows a woman's skirt up wasn't there before."

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

Date watched: 2023-07-23

Any enjoyment I got out of this you could credit way more to James Rolfe than you can the film itself. If it weren't for his old review, I wouldn't've laughed nearly as much at the bad lines, poor special effects, terrible costumes, stupid story, and just the utterly bone-headed decision to have the Turtles time travel to early 17th-century Japan.

Well, at least it's not the worst thing to feature that subway lair set—though it's not exactly a compliment to say that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III is only barely better than Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation.

The Flash (2023)

Date watched: 2023-07-24

I wanna state upfront that nobody made a dime off of me watching this. The only thing I wasted here was my time.

So. The Flash.

You ever watch something just to be able to call it the worst thing you've seen all year?

Seriously, if the film hadn't stopped dead in its tracks in the middle of the climax to shove poorly rendered CGi fanservice in our face, it would have been fine. Maybe slightly better than SHAZAM! Fury Of The Gods. But that one extended moment is so crassly cynical, I think it caused "multiverse fatigue" all by itself, and I can't imagine myself willingly seeing anything worse this year.

Literally the best part was just the opening logos, and the fact that the movie quotes "Barbie Girl" really pissed me off, because that meant it tied directly into the next movie I saw.

Barbie (2023)

Date watched: 2023-07-24

I remember when I first heard that there was going to be a live-action Barbie movie, I was really skeptical. Like this was Mattel looking at the success of The LEGO Movie years ago and decided to shit out something in the vein of, like, The Smurfs or whatever.

Never would I have imagined that, years later, I'd be one of many people sitting in the theater audience wearing pink.

Absolutely lived up to the hype and how insane the trailers made it look. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Gawd bless.

You go live your best life, Alan.

Hatching Pete (2009)

Date watched: 2023-07-25

This is another one of those DCOMs I've seen ahead of the podcast Escape From Vault Disney—which is the only kind of DCOM I see, for the record—and, well, on a scale of "Does this feature a man in a chicken suit committing grand theft auto?", it's so far the best one.

In another universe, "Hatching Pete" is the title of a trans coming out story.

Elvis: That's The Way It Is (1970)

Date watched: 2023-07-26

Now this is what I wanted from an Elvis film—Elvis on stage singing his ass off, doing flailing karate moves, messing around with his band, finding time to kiss every woman in the audience, and deepthroating his microphone. Fun times!

TMNT (2007)

Date watched: 2023-07-26

Maybe the best Turtles film since the first one? I'unno, maybe if it had a plot I could give a hoot about, because Winters and all of the everything he was doing was just not doing it for me.

But, hey, at least I got to look at good looking CGi Turtles one more time before... Urgh. The next two.

Inception (2007)

Date watched: 2023-07-27

Oh, so that's why everybody uses "-ception" as a suffix. Neat! And the rest of the movie's real good, too.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2007)

Date watched: 2023-07-28

I wouldn't say this is as bad as Turtles III—I mean, it keeps the characters in New York, but that's the lowest possible bar for it to clear, and it certainly doesn't cross into being good.

It's such a strange decision to have the movie focus so centeredly on April, but I guess it's for the better we don't spend as much time as we could have being forced to focus on creeper Mikey.

Oppenheimer (2023)

Date watched: 2023-07-30

Lemme say up front that this is a good movie. A very good movie. Maybe one of Nolan's best—I haven't seen enough of his work to say for sure, but from what I've read, it's a very good candidate not only for Nolan's best, but maybe even best of the year. And certainly, this is absolutely a film that needs to be seen in theaters. There are moments in here I can't imagine just watching on a TV or phone.

And I bring all this preface just to say that if anyone sees this film rank towards the middle of my 2023 film ranking, it's because, honestly, if it weren't for the whole "Barbenheimer" phenomenon, I don't think I would've gone out of my way to see it, at least not in theaters. I'm sure I still would've had some interest in this film (largely because of the Epic Rap Battle where Oppenheimer battled Thanos), but not enough to go out of my way like this.

Also, lemme jus' say that, yeah, I agree with Issa Rae; I am a bit of psychopath for seeing this late. Didn't hit me until a few hours after I'd left the theater, but, yeah; shit could mess you up if you let it.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (2016)

Date watched: 2023-07-31

I guess it's better than the first—I mean, credit for addressing issues like how pointless splitting Shredder into two characters was and for actually giving the Turtles character focus, and for adding in elements that fans had no doubt waited forever to see, like Krang and Be-Bop and Rocksteady—but it's still not that great.

Seriously, could they not get Krang on set for more than two days? He's a big brain alien with a mustache for some reason; he can't be that busy!

[ramblingdisaster73]

Thoughts while rewatching 4x01 - 4x04 -

Episode 4x03 - this does include thoughts that span the whole arc - so spoilers ahead.

I won’t believe O’Brien is a good guy until the end of this never-ending Owen storyline

I still feel like there is something weird with him

Also – Judd got a “cool new nick name” before Owen did – unless you count O’Brien calling him “O”

Not a fan of the detective – that feeling dramatically increases as the arc continues

Let’s just blame the mental illness for why the woman disappeared WHILE WORKING – gee, I wonder why her purse & shit were in the car.

The more the detective talks – the more I can’t stand her

But, I do have to credit this fictitious APD – both detectives in Missing persons are women & not just that, but women of color – working in a field where people that look like them are often overlooked.

Carlos, I am sorry – but you are the cause of TK going to see Iris – you are the one that put yourself & TK on an impossible time frame – then you just expect him to sit back and roll over – fuck that. Just the only way they had to blame TK for something – while completely absolving Carlos of responsibility in the situation – when the reason they are in this is HIM, not TK.

Fans would be bending over backward and celebrating if this storyline were about TK being secretly married – saying how much he never deserved Carlos, that Carlos was too good for him, they would never forgive a lie like that. BUT, when it is Carlos – its all cool and totally TK’s fault.

The cliff rescue was hilarious & tragic

– the way Carlos (& the fandom) treats TK is the tragic part – once again if the roles were reversed people would be coming for TK’s head, but since it is Carlos being a dick, its all cool and totally TK’s fault.

The hilarious was obviously Nancy’s valiant effort to save the sex doll, Judd’s “It’s serious then” said so matter-of-factly, and Mateo’s “It’s time.” – the 126 scenes are so fun, or at least fun to see.

Every time the Owen storyline progresses – he looks more stupid –

I like how calm Grace is on calls, but how much she actually thinks outside of the box to help people

I have met 911 dispatchers that she reminds me of, and I respect them so much for the challenges they deal with in each call – the times that they aren’t able to help their caller, can only be with them through the phone in their final moments.

I like how they show the way that Iris made moves to save herself – calling even though she was terrified, Counting the minutes as they passed – then being able to give that info to the dispatchers – she was a big part in saving herself.

Let’s just assume the lady that has schizophrenia was in her own delusions about being kidnapped – lets not do any forensic investigation – lets not listen to the victim, simply because she has an illness that causes paranoid delusions – like at least fucking look into it.

Fuck this detective – like all the fucking way

Owen, just going around taking evidence from the FBI, handing it over to his new bff. – fucking moron

I get that his heart is in the right place – but, seriously does this man only operate on a quarter of a braincell?

Lyndsy & Rafa are spectacular in the hospital scenes

Iris is clear in her information, just tells Carlos and the Detective what she went through – only one of them believes her – then hopefully never to be seen again after 4x04 detective makes Carlos doubt Iris, not for long, but I think that leads to his NEED to solve whether or not this was real, needs to show Iris that he believes her.

When she said that he looked at her like a painting – still gives me chills – I have felt that look before, it is fucking creepy as shit.

The roadhouse scene – I mean watching Owen lose at something & lose a bunch of money was nice

That dude has an insanely high alcohol tolerance

That dude is also incredibly dumb. But “Todays a day of the week” was a funny line – especially with the delivery.

Owen “Crackshot” Strand – guess he had to give himself a cool new nickname

I wish we had gotten to see the whole TK & Tommy scene

Their shifts are so confusing – they work 24-hour shifts, but are frequently at home or somewhere other than the firehouse when they should be at work. I guess it is safe for me to just make up the head cannon that they only work 12-hour shifts – the time is just whatever is convenient for the plot.

I don’t like that woman either, Iris. Pretty sure not too many people do at this point.

Carlos looks so sad when he tells her that the phone didn’t have anything & then he asked her if it could be her delusions.

Her doubting herself is so awful, but so well played

Her telling him that she could still smell him, that he had the scent of a floral detergent, was something I felt.

I love the way she explains how only one little crack of doubt can make it all spiral – the beauty of this scene will always astound me

12345 – Seriously?

Then to use the same one another lock – that just screams of set up or that the members are to dumb to remember 5 non-concurrent numbers.

I do kinda like Turner’s belt buckle though

Still doesn’t make sense on how they knew to move all that shit so quickly if O’Brien didn’t give them the info – the other dude was passed the fuck out

Owen and his movie hero training – Stakeout knowledge was from a movie – Spy/Parking garage knowledge was from a movie

I understand the FBI agent’s frustration at Owen’s completely moronic actions – he is making dumb fucking decisions – yet they keep using him – I guess that is their own fault when he fucks it up for them

Still that small gap between TK’s “I love you” & Carlos’ “love you too” was so sad, even though we know he says it.

Dumb cop move 1: lie to your fiancé about where you are staying before going to the house your wife was held in

Dumb cop move 2: go in the house at night without telling anyone where you really were

Dumb cop move 3: going into the tunnel & continuing down it – without calling for backup/letting anyone know where he is

Dumb cop move 4: go through the floor at the end of the tunnel without calling for backup/letting anyone know where he was.

And the shovel – she had a good amount of force to her swing.

[sanstropfremir]

episode 9 baby!!! dear lord that was a lot!!

frankly, i'm still in shock that i full on manifested an opera stage, AND it was a rock opera stage at that! plus i got a jazz stage AND a taemin stage??? if they’re pulling out all my favourites now then what on earth are they gonna do in the finale??? this was a very overwhelming crop of stages, i thought i was going to be prepared, but oh no i was not prepared. i'm just going to get right into it because this one is gonna be long and i have many words. i'll discuss in airing order first, and then put my personal rankings for this round at the end.

btob

costume

changsub, you absolute king. spectacular. stunning. incredible. zoot suit riot playing in my brain on repeat. will i finally get the zoot suit revival of my fucking dreams instead of this current drab ill-fitting suit trend? for those who are wondering why in the fuck changsub is dressed like that and what on earth i’m talking about, the specific cut of suit that he’s wearing is called a zoot suit, which were popular in mexican, black and italian american communities in the 30s and 40s, until they were outlawed by the united states war production board as a fabric rationing method as part of the war effort in 1942. there was a huge amount of mob violence surrrounding the wearing of them (there were actual zoot suit riots) as they were direct counter culture fashion to the predominant drab trends of white americans at the time. i'm actually very impressed they got a proper (modernized) cut of zoot suit instead of just putting him in an oversized one; there are actually specific structural differences. the pegged trouser legs, large should pads, and knee length single breasted jacket are key features, and they were often in much more flashy fabrics than a pinstripe, but they get points for effort. i wish they had put all of them in zoot suits but he’s playing the ‘lead’ actor so i will begrudgingly forgive them.

eunkwang those are the stupidest sleeve garters ive ever seen i love them never take them off. they’re like someone decided to repurpose a suspender in the worst way. excellent. i do love that they’ve got three of them in oxford saddle shoes, another great touch.

love the three piece and the fedora* on peniel. it's also in a relatively close period cut; waistcoasts (vests) were generally cut much higher in the neck pre-war, we only start seeing the neckline slide down in the 60s (i think? i don’t remember when exactly). also love to see a proper sleeve and jacket length, it's good practice to have at least a finger’s width of sleeve cuff visible ahead of the jacket sleeve when hanging at rest. also looks like there’s french cuffs on everyone, which is also great.

minhyuk in his slutty lowneck shirt....thank you. in addition to the zoot suit revival i would also like a revival of those ultra low necklines on mens’ shirts from like 2010-2011. i don’t think those are the same boots from the backdoor stage but those are some beautifully cut boots. i also loved the little details of his crewmember look, especially the chunky watch and the string bracelets; those are super realistic, i know so many crew with them and i had several for many years. and who doesn’t love a visible button fly?

none of any of the other costumes are period in any way shape or form but i’m forgiving it because there’s several layers of meta in this stage, and they explicitly based it on la la land, even though we don’t respect la la land in this house. do i wish they had gone more strictly period with at least the jazz club ‘actors’ a little more? absolutely, but i'm not mad about it.

set

again we’ve got a good delineation of the two different ‘stages,’ there’s the club itself in the smaller stage and the soundstage set in the larger space. you can pretty clearly see all the ‘pieces’ of the set on the soundstage, especially the obvious set painting techniques on false prosc frame and the window facade from that first little scene. also the you can see the castors (wheels) on all the setpieces too, which is another nice little versimilitudinous** (triple word score!) touch, as old hollywood movies were made still using theatre stagecraft techniques.

i love how the visual shorthand for ‘this is a set wink wonk’ is just...leaving a ladder on stage. i see it all the time and it's so funny. it doesn’t always make sense because as soon as there’s actors on set the ladders are the first thing cleared because actors cannot be trusted, but yes there are always ladders, so. also psa ladder safety is no joke, please be careful on ladders.

nice streamline of the mnet deco into the club. i’m consistently surprised at how well the designers have been able to mask it or use it to their advantage, because in the normal kingdom stage lighting it is SO obvious and stylistic that it always sticks out.

i'm going to ignore the fact that they implied changsub and miyeon were drinking wine out of martini glasses.

lighting

no complaints, it does its job. everything is visible and super clear. love that the ‘scene’ changes are made through the lighting, it's a really simple and effective device to change atmosphere. purple/blue/amber are the most flattering colours on human skin and that’s why you see it so commonly in stage lighting. also blue/lavendar is the best way to show nighttime/moonlight.

really nice and subtle projection work, especially with the billboard bit and the blue moon sign in the club. despite being obviously meta/’world breaking’ it’s actually very seamless and fits well into the flow of the stage.

sound

i love love love the big band feel in the intro, combined with the piano lead. very duke ellington, as all things should be.

no complaints. i love big band. i love eunkwang’s voice. i have nothing else to say.

staging

i LOVE this movie within a movie within a performance meta nonsense! it's such a fun concept and it is exactly what i wanted ikon’s first round stage to be! i also love to see btob consistently coming up with concepts that are inventive and fun and allow them to showcase their technical performance skills without the aerobics the younger groups are putting themselves through. it provides a really lovely variety and it just goes to show that you can make impressive, dramatic stages without having to be serious or ‘dark.’

i do wish they had leaned into the band director/lead singer with eunkwang a bit more; this could have been a really excellent place for a tap number a la the nicholas brothers or an homage to cab calloway. i know i know this was meant to be la la land themed but la la land is a cheap and whitewashed version of jazz and look me right in the eyes and tell me this isn’t the greatest tap routine of all time. i know i’ve typed this out somewhere before but la la land is just a conglomeration of old hollywood tropes and so stylistically cheap that this would have such a better visual core if they had actually looked back at the real old hollywood musicals like stormy weather. even singing in the rain and an american in paris have such phenomenal visuals and are really beautiful examples of the scope you can pull off with a limited technical capacity and sticking to these old techniques.

now that i'm thinking about it, oh my GOD i would DIE for a lindy hop routine in kpop PLEASE. i know it would never happen because kpop doesn’t like partner dancing and not a single kpop boy has the chops but oh you think fourth gen has too many acrobatics?

this got off track but i think you see my point.

---

ateez

costume

these are really sharply cut suits. and the detail work on the beading??? so beautiful. i'm disappointed that they gave me a rock opera stage without the true ridiculousness of rock opera costuming, because they could have pushed this a lot farther if they really wanted. a tragic lack of gay little outfits, seonghwa’s lace choker is just not enough! two favourite suits: hongjoong’s and yunho’s.

that being said i do actually really like these. this stage is actually very modern opera with a kpop twist and i'm a little surprised by that? i continue to be impressed by the ateez team who are clearly doing their research.

i'm absolutely not going back through their stages to check all the choreography but i wonder if you can track all the ‘wound’ placements to places they’ve been ‘hit.’ i wouldn’t put it past them to have put that thought in but also i’m not expecting that much either.

who is this white grim reaper bdsm executioner chain arm man. where did he come from. i have no idea and i love it.

why is honjoong blindfolded. it was such a fast beat, if youre gonna blindfold someone give it a little longer and some more obvious narrative weight!

seonghwa does that quickchange, runs across that massive stage to the smaller set, and gets into places in like 45 seconds. it's not the hardest quickchange in the world but still, under a minute is fast for any quickchange, especially when there’s travel time involved. i think the fastest, most complex quickchange i ever did was in university which was a 50s cocktail dress into a flannel and culottes with a shoe, hair, and jewelry change in 35 seconds. and that took three dressers. quickchanges are always impressive. the added bonus of this review being later is that i can specifically reference that you can see him book it the fuck off stage in the full cam!

cute moment with the backup dancers dressed in costumes from the previous stages. i'm assuming this is a time travel reference? i'll get more into my thoughts on this in the staging section. regardless, love to see that iconic seonghwa moment again.

set

this is such a restricted space! they really pared down their dancing space with those staircases and ....arms? honestly i have NO clue what these are supposed to be. the only thing i can maybe think of is flying buttresses??? but why?? i mean, i'm 90% sure theyre just there for drama and i agree but i do still have questions.

there’s a lot of moving parts in this set? the buttresses, and the upstage centre staircase. i don’t think the staircase is totally automated because i spotted some dancers securing it in place, but it’s still a moving part. i do really like that we get that expanding upwards energy, because it's really tough to get functional level movement in this kind of a performance, mostly because of its length and because it moves so quickly. so seeing the downward vertical movement and then the upward movement was actually a really nice visual contrast that made use of how tall those fucking ceilings are, and the fact that they had less horizontal space. in sort of similar way to sf9’s jealousy stage, using long, narrow vertical lines really makes it feel like a castle space. the interiors of castles, especially the really old ones, are a lot smaller than you think they would be.

i’ve actually seen that type of small house/tent/thing several times in various types of performances before, but i think this is the first time i’ve seen it used as a time travel device (other than in the say my name mv). aesthetically it's a bit incongruent but i dont really mind because i'm used to watching rock operas that look a lot weirder than this.

lighting

there is so much happening. i have NO clue what the projections are doing. i dont hate it though, so that’s a plus? there’s a clear-ish colour arc even if it does get a bit funky in the middle, which is why the projections dont feel as insanely distracting as some of the other stages we’ve seen.

the climax is a perfect example of how to light a busy stage with primarily red but still maintain clarity on the performers. a little bit of red goes a long way; the spark stage from last week would have looked so much better if they had done what the ateez designers did here.

sound

i know it's only ode to joy, but answer already gets my motor running and then i get so gassed by the guitars and then by the time those vocals come in i'm inconsolable. i don’t know why i wasn’t expecting a rock opera stage but i'm so glad i got that surprise because i genuinely love rock operas so much. it's two of the most dramatic genres in music, what more could you possibly want?

staging

the choreo for answer is so goofy that I'm kinda glad this was mostly terrible mnet boom shots. i love it, but you can't deny that it's goofy. i spotted a couple of moves from their other choreos as well?

choreographing dance fights is just as difficult as choreographing real fights and i think they did a fairly good job here. i think it was a solid mix of dance and conflict that erred on the side of dramatic rather than accurate and i prefer that over trying to be ‘realistic.’ i’ve only ever seen one truly realistic fight scene on stage and that was for a deeply naturalist play (boring and a waste of the medium), but the best fight scene i’ve ever seen was in the prague national ballet’s adaptation of kafka’s the trial where three ballet dancers beat the absolute snot out of the main character with the most beautiful leg extensions. that whole show was probably one of the best pieces of dance i’ve ever seen, holy fuck it was so good.

despite how insane the music and the visuals were going, i actually really liked how sedate this was, on the part of ateez’s performance. there was a really sophisticated and resigned energy from them that is very different from what we’ve previously seen and i think that was a pretty admirable risk to take. reaching the top and then throwing away the crown? especially in a competition where every other stage has involved stealing crowns or royalty and there’s a group competing that got here through that very concept? that shows a real maturity, peace of mind, and foresight that i did not at all expect from a bunch of 22 year olds.

here we come to a very interesting comparison. both ateez and tbz are very heavily leaning on previously established group lore. we all know my thoughts on why it isn’t working for tbz, but here’s why i think it is working for ateez: it's because it doesn’t matter to the audience’s understanding of the stage. i had absolutely no fucking clue what was going on the first time i watched this, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying the music and all the weird shit they were doing. i totally believed that they understood what was going on. there’s a loose enough established conflict right at the beginning that draws us in, and really it doesn’t matter who they're fighting because they win in the end. the key here is that they’re so earnest. they believe 100% in every move they make on that stage. there’s no winks to camera, there’s not a drop of irony. they really deeply care about the ridiculousness of it all and that’s what makes it work. i sure as fuck dont know what’s going on, but i can see that they do, and i trust that. this is what i meant when i talked about convincing the audience you belong on stage in my stage presence post. i’ve never once believed that juyeon was anything other than an idol. he’s talented and very beautiful and he may occasionally stand on that stage like he owns it but it's always as juyeon. as an idol. but when hongjoong flaps around in that gigantic fur coat i 100% believe he’s a pirate captain. I believe he’s a punk rebel leader. i believe him a resigned king. there’s always a level of irony you have to fight as a performer because we all start from a place of disbelief. acting is not just lying to the audience, it's lying to yourself too. and if you succeed in convincing yourself? well, you’re already halfway to convincing us.

i checked it out because i wanted to see if they did the blindfold how i expected them to and was genuinely surprised by hongjoong’s fancam. the boy is EMOTING even when he knew the camera wasn’t on him; that’s a real dedication to craft.

ok i'm finished talking about this stage, this is over two pages in my document, there’s so many things i have not covered here but that’s fine, i'm quite sure any further thoughts will end up out there at some point.

---

sf9

costume

let’s get it out of the way......crop top. crop top? crop top. crop top.

ok, besides the crop top, i think i might actually like the backup dancer outfits more...? i find mannequin adjacent looks really fascinating and i thought there was a lot more they could have done here in connecting the two thematically. i actually think a change of costume on the boys would have been very interesting, especially because there was a lot of inference and direct reference to changes of colour.

ALL the backup dancers are wearing the same wig and i LOVE that.

special mention zuho’s.....jacket? the right idea but it absolutely should have been one of those extreme french cut bodysuits, you COWARDS. don’t come at me with this ‘male version of venus’ if you don’t have your whole torso out! come on!

set

not sure if this is meant to be a department store, a factory, or a white cube gallery. honestly you could make the case that they’re all the same place anyways. more on this later.

i loved the movator and wish they had used it more! that sequence was so good and they could have done some more interesting repetition sequences to further highlight the ‘sameness’/the breaking of that sameness.

i feel like the set could have been used more as a whole? i would have loved to see some mannequin interactions with those boxes, because all they did was dump colour everywhere.

....why did they feel the need to include the rain bit? i know it's likely because it's in the mv and at the 2018 dream concert taemin does perform move in the rain, but with the standing still and the box walls with the words it just looks like a department store ad. which i...dont think is what they were intending?

lighting

nothing really to say here. it has a similar feel to the mayfly rap stage, which is fine because the lighting for that was good. i could tell what was going on all the time and that’s the most important part. notable standouts are the lips sequence, that's fun use of pop iconography and very effective, and the scanning lasers at the beginning.

the repeating sequence in the edm dance break is actually done pretty simply, it's just what happens when you point a camera that’s livestreaming to a monitor directly at that monitor. it's a very cool effect and it was neat to see it used intentionally, especially with the handheld leds.

actually i also really liked the lightbox tables, those were cool.

sound

the remix was fine for the most part, it was about what i expected it to sound like. i did however greatly dislike that unnecessary edm break in the middle. what was the point of that? it didn’t add anything to the overall sound or arc of the stage because it was SO out of place. there was no connective tissue around it.

oh i was also not a fan of the effect on zuho’s mic. no one else had a discernible vocal effect so it felt a little out of place. also for some reason his cadence and tone right at the end made me think of some of the voices that bo burnam uses for his vocal masque sketches/songs, especially repeat stuff, weirdly? took me right the fuck out of it. i listened to it again after i slept and i’m still getting it, so maybe i’m just going insane so best ignore this part.

staging

loved the mannequin tree, not a clue why it was there.

do actually think this is a successful cover because it does what i was hoping it would, which is take move completely out of the taemin context and put it into an entirely new one. however, i’m really struggling to figure out what exactly that new context is? and what theyre trying to say with it?

obviously they went for a ‘show your own colours/individuality’ vibe, like i said in the set section, where exactly is this supposed to be? from the start i get factory/mechanized environment, which is fine and grand because mannequins and making repetitive motions and products and all that, makes sense. but then there’s stacked shelving type units happening and curtains and that combined with the mannequins give me pretty big department store vibes, which is also fine, because that’s still a comment on commercialization and the mass production of product. but then we get to the movator and the repetitive movements of the dancers say pretty clearly factory, but the lighting and projections are very pop art referential, plus combining that with the white set, just makes me think of an art gallery. so now is this a comment on the commercialization and commidification of contemporary art? are they making a statement about being ‘real’ artists among the others who have lost the critical understanding of why pop art was even a thing in the first place? and then the rain bit at the end literally looks like a department store ad, so are they then making another statement that they still are that packaged product? maybe the episode has more clarity in it but i’m genuinely a bit baffled by what the underlying statement is here.

i suspect it is not as deep as i'm making it, but i did say that i was likely to be hyper critical of this stage AND i am a grad student, so here we are.

---

tbz

costume

ok of all the ‘fourth gen’ style costumes we’ve seen, i actually like these ones more than most. i'm not entirely clear on the theme but i'm assuming it's meant to be post apocalyptic, and i'll take that.

backup dancers in black!!! we’re beyond this!!!

this will be a running theme with this stage, but i’m disappointed these don’t have more depth.

set

compared to every other stage, the set here seems especially plain. there’s so little set dec that it's disappointing. i do like the movement of the pieces themselves combined with the blocking; that first slide underneath the arches was slick and i would have liked to have seen more of that.

yea ok the big snake was cool and also a fairly complex build, but the transitions around it were a bit awkward for my tastes. especially the turn around, why did they even show that at all? you have control over what the audience sees, you can totally not show scenic transitions. skz were super smart about hiding theirs in last week’s episode.

also if you have a bigass puppet like that, i wanna see some more movement from it! it doesn’t have to be complex, we literally just saw a kraken balloon arm wave around aimlessly, but at least there was movement! that snake had a long ass body, why didn’t they at least take a pseudo dragon dance movement with it, that would have been such fun to watch with the iridescent scales. there was a lot of opportunity here!

lighting

i don’t hate it but also.... not a lot to say about it on the whole.

there were two really smart ideas here, the first being the front projection section, which i was SO glad to see! i explained in a previous review, but the projections in kingdom are not actually projections per se, because they’re actually massive led screens. there are two common types of projections in performance, rear projection and front projection. rear projection is when the projector is behind the screen, and front projection is ‘normal’ projection. rear projection can produce a crisper image because you have full control of the light values, because the projector is in a separate room from the performance space. but the downsides are that the projector has to be in a separate room from the performance space. so if you’re short on real estate, it's not ideal. front projection is much more common, because the tech is a lot cheaper and easier to access, especially now, and it requires less real estate because you can ceiling mount about the audience (you can move a projector wherever, this is just the most common spot in commercial theatres). but! in order to get an actually crisp image, you have to be really careful with your light bounce. it’s exactly the same principle as how you kinda can't see a projected screen when you have all the lights turned on, but when you turn them off it's a lot clearer. front projection works best in pitch dark, so when you use it in a theatre you gotta be smart about it. i use front projection a lot in my personal art practice as a singular light source, and that’s what tbz did here in that traveling/snake intro sequence. it’s a really fun technique that they used as a good gimmick because it’s not something we’ve seen before, and you get some great shadow effects because the projector is throwing light directionally at the performers (they have it set up close to the floor, it’s probably on a wheeled cart of some kind). however i did not like the snake intro. a bit too cheesy and out of place, especially because the asset quality didn’t match the rest of landscapes that we have been seeing.

the second smart idea, which is partially also a set and blocking thing but whatever, was that final image of the eclipse within the circle architecture with all the members standing in front of it. it was a great shot and a great ending pose, but it felt like a concept photo. like someone had that image as the idea that they then built the stage around, instead of a narrative first and then imagery after.

sound

this remix had SO much promise! those first two minutes were SO GOOD. i love that dirty discordant strings bit, it's gross and right up my alley. but it really fell off in the back half and i'm sad about that.

staging

i'm sorry tbz but.....what did you actually do differently than exo here? with the exception of the continual game of thrones references? nothing here felt transcendentally different from the original monster. and especially coming RIGHT after sf9’s move, which did go beyond its original context. this feels more like an awards show stage cover than a stage at the level of the others we’ve seen just this episode.

again like with the skz stage, there’s no conflict here. no tension. yes they do a great job covering the dance but it just isn’t enough! this is obviously personal preference and i'm sure lots of people liked the fact that it was uncomplicated, but even just a hint of narrative tension could have pushed this into more engaging territory. and if they didn’t want to do that, i would have loved to see them make up for that with extra visual spectacle. this is the no limits round! ikon is putting a full jungle on stage and these are grey cubes!

i think this is a perfect example of what i talked about at the end of my tbz section in my episode four review; this is a good performance, there are good elements at play and good ideas at their genesis, but the core of the issue is that nothing about this is transformative. all of the ideas here are just exaggerations of the original song. fuck, the snake was even IN the mv! and they didn’t even include the best part which is the lip chains! ive said before and i'll say it again; being a good artist has two steps, the first is understanding the material and its context, and the second is elevating the material from that context and synthesizing something new. tbz are really good at the first step, but terrible at the second.

---

ranking

btob - the cleanest and the most fun of the round. everything i wanted.

sf9 - fun and a good cover, despite being conceptually baffling.

ateez - very extra dramatic nonsense with an unexpected dose of sincerity. and it’s rock opera, of course i love it.

skz - fun, with some good thematic devices but generally lacking in arc. also australian accents, that’s an automatic ding.

tbz - honestly the first two minutes of the remix and the costume are holding this above 6th. it just wasn’t fully formed.

ikon - aesthetically this is a great set design and although i do love the opening and closing moments, everything else scrapes me the wrong way. super personal preference here, i’m not expecting anyone else to agree with me.

i feel like my rankings were probably pretty easy to guess if you’ve been around reading the reviews for long enough. i do have very specific tastes after all. i know sf9 ranked first in the episode but i have no idea what the other slots are. i’ll find out when i watch the episode in a couple of days, but i think yea a first for sf9 is fair. i do think its mostly because it’s a taemin song and you have to do something horrendous in order to fuck up a taemin song, but there is a lot of thought and work that went into that stage.

ok i'm done now, sorry this was later than usual, but i was busier and there were four stages that i had to review. also technical difficulties because tumblr is a garbage platform and nothing works properly. comments/questions/opinions always welcome, i know i didn't expand on a couple of points that i could have so hopefully y'all have some thoughts too!

* the type of hat that ~society~ has told you is a fedora is actually a trilby. what peniel is wearing is a real fedora, i felt the need to correct this unjust hat malignment.

** meaning ‘the appearance of being true or real.’ you do sometimes hear it used by normal people, but it’s more commonly used as a descriptor in film and theatre. it’s also one of the five rules of neoclassical theatre, which are: versimilitude, purity of form, five act structure, decorum, and purpose. the most prominent playwrights from that era are moliere and racine if youre interested in what those look like in an actual text.

[vel0000vet]

No Time To Die (spoilers)

„No Time To Die“ is a betrayal of the viewer. It shows us what we could have had and what the makers kept from us in the Craig years: Fun! The wonderful party scene with Ana de Armas, glittering costumes, spectacular action, funny dialogue. A gem: the jealous bitching in M’s office. An even greater gem: the invasion of Q’s home. A naked cat that has to be removed from the dining table repeatedly. Sadly, no naked Bond (not woke enough? There wasn’t even any shagging?), but apart from that the first hour was a perfect nostalgic throwback to the Connery/Moore years when a Bond film was nothing more than glamorous entertainment with lots of action and exotic locations.

We are also spared the sodding torture scenes which ruined every previous Craig (except Skyfall), scenes only mentally disturbed juvenile lowlife could enjoy, but which were agonizing to watch for everybody else. „No Time To Die“ a perfect work of art, enjoyable on every level, a dream. Designed to make the ending even more shattering: „Look what we are taking from you. You were allowed to take one last look, now you lose it.“

There was never much fun in Bond films during the Craig years. They were spectacularly beautiful and impressive, but the directors obviously thought that the concept of „fun“ was below them and they wanted everything darker, grittier and with more horrific violence. They wanted to be taken seriously, so they treated the classic Bond films like some embarrassing elder relatives. And now the heel face turn? They could have made films like that for years? Seriously? Why didn’t they do it then?

There is a clear structure in „No Time To Die“ that follows the trajectory of the whole franchise: Glamorous beginning like in the classic Connery/Moore films, then soul searching like in Skyfall, then relationship issues like in Spectre. They rerun the whole story for us. Then, the betrayal.

The ending, Bond’s death, obliterates everything that came before. Not only all the previous scenes, but also every other Bond film Craig has ever made. You will never watch them again without keeping the death scene in mind, especially because it is set up to be as tragic as possible. I don’t care how „James Bond will return“ will work, whether there will be prequels or a miraculous resurrection. I won’t be there to watch it.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Top 10 Best episodes of ML

This list is my personal opinion, and I don’t expect everyone to agree with all my picks (some are obviously Amazing, and some that may have been amazing to you might not be as great to me. and the reverse. Let me know your personal top 10 best)

10. Loveater

I know this is a controversial pick for number 10. Truth is, this episode was really damn good in terms of setting things up. (Spoilers for the season 3 finale)

The tension with how Marinette was dealing with her feelings,

The hilarity of the Get along Cloak Gabriel made.

The Beautiful friendship dynamic of Kagami, Adrien, and Marinette.

The episode was steeped in all sorts of tension and has one of the most dramatic cliffhangers out of any of the finale’s

We don't know whats gonna happen?

The akuma was... okay. The purpose of the akuma was to set up the next step of the plan, and in that regard, it succeeded.

Marinette had an emotional breakdown. It hurt to see, but it was so well done that you could FEEL the emotions in each character.

This episode had a lot of emotions riding on it and It gave SO MUCH build up. I would say if Miracle Queen didn't DROP the ball so much, this might be higher.

9. Startrain:

Now we get to the obviously good episode and My personal favorite new hero reveal episodes. Startrain.

It has the makings of a great episode. Marinette being responsible and being rewarded for it. Adrien being disobedient to his father and being adorable.

That sweet sweet Adrinette fluff that we all want.

Lila getting stopped.

And of course we learn some of Hawkmoth’s limitations (and how little he cares about his son.)

Max gets the horse miraculous and HE OWNS THAT TRANSFORMATION. My personal favorite new transformation sequences. 

Max also being MVP

The akuma while not a direct fight, changed things up by having dangerous cars that they had to figure out.

I also love that they crashed into BigBen.

A solid episode and one that really shined in Season 3.

8. Heroes Day Parts 1 and 2

The season 2 two part finale didn't disappoint. We had hero team ups. A supercharged Hawkmoth, Nathalie stepping into the fray as Mayura

We had good ladynoir banter.

Adorable Adrinette moments that really help bring the moment for a climactic clash that seemed to bring hope on what season 3 may bring.

This episode was a breath of fresh air as it actually had Hawkmoth f***ing Planning in advance.

It was actually a pretty decent plan. I gotta give the guy props.

I liked all of the action, and I did find some of the bits funny.

Chat noir and Chloé’s interaction was funny as heck.

7. Volpina

Ah yes, the last episode of season 1. (at least chronologically)

It introduced Lila Rossi, the hype behind what or who she was did make things interesting.

A lying exchange student that Marinette calls out on her bs.

The dominos of Gabriel being Hawkmoth were all set up (and this was when people were still speculating)

Volpina gave an amazing akuma performance,

We had a good hero mess up with consequences (I say this as it is FEW and far between) Because we understand Marinette’s reasoning for doing it and it was a selfish action but doesn't ruin things. marinette does apologize but damage already done. (plus Lila is a b****)

We also get one step closer to who FU is. (Which in season 1 was huge)

It is still a solid episode and one of the best in season 1.

6. Stormy Weather

Personally the best animated episode on this list.

The animators really put there all into getting this one right.

The first episode to air and it started on a strong note.

The plot sets the pace for how a standard episode goes.

It has solid action.

The akuma is powerful, funny and has a fun battle.

Ladybug and chat noir have great banter in this.

Of course we get introduced to our heroes and I think this is the episode EVERYONE getting into the show should start with.

It is a perfect storm of good action, comedy and super hero goodness.

5. Darkowl

My favorite episode of season 2.

This was such a fun episode.

The principal of the school went from a joke to a legit threat that ALMOST WON!

The reason for akumatization was brutal and completely understandable.

Ladybug and chat noir were honestly trying to help the poor guy who wanted to be a hero.

This was also the moment tikki and Plagg found out about the OTHER chosen, which Plagg’s reaction says it all.

The episode shows how much they trust each other and I really love how it plays out.

Dark owl is the best Akuma of season 2 don't @ me.

4. Oblivio

Don't you f***ing judge me

You all know why this is on the list.

Okay, IGNORING THE BEAUTIFUL PERFECT WONDERFUL LADYNOIR KISS.

This episode was really well written.

The heroes lost their memories, their is a faceless monster after them which they need to stay one step ahead of or its curtains for them.

Marinette and Adrien get a second first meeting and really, this episode shows how perfect they are for each other.

If they both could only just... GRAH!!!

The last 3 minutes does come off as a slap to the face, since neither of them remember it.  (I would talk about the salt from the fandom that resulted from this, but considering how bile-inducing it is to me, I will simply skip past it.)

It is a good episode, it has heart, comedy, and one I will never forget.

3. Evilustrator

My favorite akuma Evillustrator.

I LOVED this episode and for the longest time I would consider it my favorite.

Nathanael was such a delight, and his akuma was the first to actually disobey hawkmoth at first. 

Plus, he is the first akuma to confess to Marinette. (Silencer was second)

And of course the BIRTH of the Marichat side of the fandom.

We can't forget that cute interaction.

It is a little indulgent of me to love this one. Nathanael deserved better.

But hey, he has a BF now.

So kudos. I suppose.

2. Chat Blanc

My all time favorite season 3 episode.

It has all of the damn fluff for adrinette

for ladynoir

even some Marichat.

It scratches the itch that Oblivio slightly touched.

It was cute but then... IT WAS HORRIFYING.

Time travel, alternative futures where s*** is destroyed.

Chat blanc is without a doubt the scariest akuma in terms of power.

The angst in this episode was spectacular.

This also gave us an Adrinette kiss, sweet wonderful goodness.

also Hair down Marinette.

Ladybug calling chat noir/Adrien “Her prince”

The fight with Chat blanc.

Hawkmoth just whipping out Adrien’s dead mother before smacking that boy like a baseball bat.

THE MOON GETS DESTROYED.

This episode throws a lot at you.

It is amazing, tragic and beautiful. This should have been the season 3 finale.

I stand by this statement.

1. Origins Parts 1 and 2

There was no way I could not have this as number 1.

I can talk about how well done the plot was.

The good reveal of characters.

Fu’s status as Guardian revealed.

Gabriel pretty much confirmed as HM.

Adrien and Marinette’s first meeting

Chat noir and Ladybug’s first meeting.

But no.

The Umbrella scene.

 The moment we all knew this show was something special.

That theme that played as they talked.

We were dazzled just like Marinette.

Lightning struck and that was the moment I fell in love with the show.

It was the moment I knew Adrien and Marinette. This relationship was something special.

If you haven't watched it, I recommend watching origins. It is a wonderful beginning and I hope the ending will be just as beautiful

[theradioghost]

So I’ve realized recently that I actually really really like podcasts when my audio processing isn’t acting up (thanks tma!) and was wondering what recs you have for completed podcasts. I’m cool with basically any genre and theme, though I would appreciate a warning for tragedy. Thanks for your time!

Of course! I’ll put this one under a cut just so the length is a bit less ridiculous.

Some of my favorite completed shows are

Wolf 359 – a scifi comedy about four squabbling coworkers on a malfunctioning, isolated space station which then takes a hard right into a spectacular, heartwrenching drama. Not a tragedy, but many tears are shed when listening. Probably one of the best podcasts out there tbqh.

Ars Paradoxica – a modern physicist accidentally invents time travel, landing her back at the start of the Cold War and changing the course of history forever. The creators literally described it as “a tragedy” and they weren’t lying, although the finale is sort of hopefully bittersweet.

The Hidden Almanac – a grouchy professor in a plague doctor mask offers bite-sized pieces of history and hagiography from his fantastical world as well as gardening advice, occasionally interrupted and/or dragged off on unwilling shenanigans by his tequila-loving accidental necromancer best friend coworker. Fantasy writer/artist Ursula Vernon and her husband put this 4-minute show out three times a week for SEVEN YEARS, and it’s funny and cozy and poetic and can be found in full here, as there are too many episodes for most podcatchers to display.

Alice Isn’t Dead – lesbian Americana road-trip horror. A cross-country trucker searches for her missing wife while monsters and conspiracies pursue her across the vast empty and abandoned spaces of America. Actually also exists in novel form.

The Bright Sessions – records from the office of Dr. Bright, a therapist who specializes in people with strange and secret abilities. However, her patients aren’t the only ones with secrets. Personally this show never completely absorbed me like some others did, but the character writing is genuinely amazing. The story obviously also deals a lot with mental illness and some other difficult topics and content.

Our Fair City – the eight-season saga of the inhabitants of a post-apocalyptic underground city ruled over by the remnants of an insurance company, featuring mole people, lightning-harvesting sky sailors, giant ants, and a found family of mad scientists among others. Part comedy, part drama, all anticapitalist satire. You kind of have to give it a couple of seasons to find its stride (this was one of the very first shows in the podcast-based audio drama revival) but it is absolutely worth it. Disclaimer that while I am on the final season of the show I have not quite finished it yet.

Jarnsaxa Rising – a unique scifi-fantasy hybrid, in which a vengeful Norse giantess escapes imprisonment with the goal of destroying the gods and bringing about Ragnarok, only to find herself in a post-climate-change dystopian future.

Glasgow Ghost Stories – a Scottish woman begins noticing the many ghosts inhabiting the streets of her city; but the ghosts have begun to notice her too, and not all of them are friendly. Pigeons are involved.

Big Data – an odd little heist comedy about a rogue journalist investigating a spectacular crime in which the “seven keys to the internet” are stolen, leading to a story about hacking in which no actual hacking is involved. There are two fun side notes to it: one, everything that happens in it could technically happen in real life. Two, it involves an absurd amount of cameos from other well-known podcasts (and also Taika Waititi?), which you don’t need to get to follow the story but which make it kind of hilarious on a whole other level when you listen to those shows.

I Am In Eskew – a surreal, intense, disturbingly poetic horror about a man trapped in a shifting, malevolent, impossible city, and a woman on the outside trying to find him. Extremely good but I do recommend thoroughly checking the trigger warnings on this one. (Surprisingly non-tragic finale, although not a typical “happy ending.”)

The Alexandria Archives – half comedy and half horror, in the form of a late-night radio show at Alexandria University, on the edge of North Carolina’s Great Dismal Swamp. Half of each episode is a standalone cosmic horror story set in and around the town of Alexandria. The other half features the antics of the university’s students, including the host MW and her friends who are definitely Canadian exchange students, and not a vampire hiding from his ex and a bunch of stranded space pirates. (A little goofy? Yes, but I love it a ton for all its faults anyway. Also, some of the short stories are genuinely terrifying.)

and also, some completed miniseries!!

The Tower – a gorgeous experimental audio drama in which a young woman decides to climb the mysterious Tower, from which no one ever returns.

Time:Bombs – a comedy by the folks who made Wolf 359 about a bomb disposal squad on New Year’s Eve, trying to survive their leader’s obsession with breaking a record.

They Say a Lot of Things – upon discovering that she can interact with a dropped tape recorder, the ghost of a young girl tells her story, interwoven with the stories of those who have passed through the abandoned house that she cannot leave over the years that she’s haunted it.

Podcaster A. R. Olivieri specializes in microfiction miniseries, ranging from scifi to experimental to fantasy. (Side note, a lot of his work crosses over with the still-running scifi podcast Girl In Space, but you don’t need to have listened to GIS to understand what’s going on in his shows.)

Nym’s Nebulous Notions – a self-declared investigative journalist decides to check out a mysterious SOS signal and finds herself on a mysteriously abandoned ship – or so she thinks. Arguably a tragedy, although not necessarily in the way you might think.

Palimpsest – technically not finished, but each season of this anthology makes up a complete 10-part story, and seasons 1 and 2 are complete. Season 1 is a ghost story about a woman who is suspicious about strange happenings in her new home and her odd new neighbors. Season 2 is a turn-of-the-century dark urban fantasy about a girl who escapes her career criminal mother’s house, taking a job as the companion to what her new employer claims is an imprisoned faerie princess. (Season 3 is ongoing and is about a codebreaker who begins seeing ghosts on London’s streets during the Blitz.) It’s a heartbreaking sort of show, albeit in a very beautiful and moving way.

The Details is a short piece about an office worker who goes in to negotiate for a promotion and finds himself negotiating with the devil himself instead. The number of genuinely surprising and excellent twists it packs into just 45 minutes is really fun.

The London Necropolis Railway – a really underappreciated little fantasy-mystery about a recently-dead detective who refuses to board the train scheduled to take her to the afterlife until one of its hapless employees helps her solve her supernatural murder.

Janus Descending – a scifi horror told in two intertwining perspectives, one in reverse order and one in chronological order, about two scientists who land on a remote planet to investigate the ruins of its lost civilization, only to encounter the thing that killed the former inhabitants. A fantastic story told in a really clever and unique way, but stamp a big old tragedy warning all OVER this one, although because of the structure you technically know how it’s going to end right from the start – what makes this show so good is how you get there. It will make you cry, though.

… and also my show, Midnight Radio, which is about lesbian romance, small towns, old radio shows, the good and bad sides of nostalgia, and ghost stories.

[searchingforbucky]

Fic Rec List (Part 9) :)

Hello! I’ve gotten MANY many requests for Mobster!Bucky, which is one of my favorite AU’s! (I say that about almost every AU, I know, I’m sorry, I cant help it) I just really like AUs obviously. ANYWAYS, on this list are some of my favorite mobster stories in no specific order! Yet again this is long, I hope you lovelies enjoy! If their are any mistakes im sorry!

Run to Me by @sgtjbuccky​

I fell in love with this story immediately. The dynamic Bucky and the reader have is wonderful. She doesn’t take any nonsense, and boy is he just smitten. The way the story represents Bucky is awesome, he is cocky and full of himself, but you see the west side, the insecurities and his heart. Its not one of those fics with a whole lot of angst, its just a genuinely good read. It makes you happy, and the DRABBLES oh god the drabbles that come along with it were so cute. Also, Salina has another spectacular Mobster Bucky story called **Disbarred https://sgtjbuccky.tumblr.com/post/180246739540/disbarred which a very, very good fic as well. Makes me want to get a mobster of my own lol.

Black Serpent Universe by @invisibleanonymousmonsters

LOVE love this series. This is the first mobster AU I think I ever read, and it is literally flawless. The universe is basically on every long oneshot and accompanying drabbles/HCs. The one shot is everything I could’ve asked for in a fic, its long, well thought out, detailed, exciting, heartbreaking, fluffy, and so so realistic. I know what you’re thinking, a mobster story realistic? Okay, so maybe not the mob aspect, but the real reactions and the slow burn, its true to life, they don’t just jump into things, they live through the build up. The emotions are practical and real and I feel like they were people and not characters. Its just, really freaking good.

Petals & Bullets by @revengingbarnes

This one is really unique, and it talks about sex slave so you know that's a trigger warning. anyways it's just really well done. And like I said I've never really read anything like it and I think that's what makes it great. And when you go into reading it you really think that it's going to be dark and hard to read because it's such heavy material, but the way it's written is really good because it gives that white and makes it worth it to read. It really makes you feel a lot of emotions that I couldn't honestly pinpoint because I was angry at the situation but I loved the characters, so all in all it was just a genuinely good read, and it was really really well done. Not many people could take that subject and turn it into a really good story like that.

Stay, Gold by @the-canary

You want some angst with a side of pain? Well heres the fic for you. This one HURT. There is not a happy ending, not even close. But with all of that being said, it was beautiful. As you read, you realize whats happening and you just hurt for them, they deserve better and you want them to have better, but thats not their fate. They are a pair of lovers unfortunately a part of a tragic story, but oh sort they make the most of what time that had. I cried, a lot, but I also loved the characters. They loved each other, so much, and you could feel it in your bones. Fantastic story. 

Tangier & Redux by @softlybarnes

Theres something about this one that I love, something so unique about the reader. She’s… mysterious, ethereal, and kinda sinister but most importantly damn powerful. The way she speaks, and talks, it reminds me of a witch. Its something that you don’t see a lot in stories like these, the reader being anything but ‘innocent’. She doesn’t take any less than she knows she deserves, and he fiercely wants whats best for her. Sometimes they don’t think those are the same thing. But the chemistry they have, its so nice to read. And the scene setting in this, its perfect, you can picture exactly what it would look like. And the personification of Bucky as well, he’s no wannabe mobster, he’s ruthless, and they fit together so well. 

Someday by @221bshrlocked

This one is really good, it's Rough and violent but like that's the whole point he's a mobster he's ruthless Yet it's perfectly balanced with the fluff that's in there because at first you don't really see it but as time goes on you see all of the small nuances to how much he really likes her and how soft he is actually on the inside and it's one of those stories that you can tell was just written naturally like there wasn't a lot of structured to it and I think that's some of the best stories because it's like real life you know it just happens and you go with the flow and there's nothing jarring that pulls you out of reading. The smut scenes are also perfectly balanced between being sexy yet sensual and sweet. Really awesome fic.

Truth Set Free by @propertyofpoeandbucky

It was so hard picking one of Leilanis story to focus on, because they’ve done some absolutely spectacular ones such as “Missin’ My Girl”, “Soft To The Core”, “Burst Of Anger”, “Maybe This Time”, “How Unlikely”, and of course a fan favorite “Good Business”. However, I decided to focus on the first one I read of theirs. Its such a cool piece, the way its set up is super good I the way that its picking up sort of like in the middle of the story but you’re not lost, you gather details as you go that forms the whole picture in your head. I love the whole secretive thing it has in it, it makes it kinda mysterious to read. Then you get to the second part, and besides the drama, its sweet, he knew they were gonna be together from the beginning. And this sweetness isnt even like explicitly said, you can just see the nuances from his actions. Really good fic, and so are all of the others. 

Lil’ Anthony by @tranquil--heart

My favorite part of the mobster Trope is the whole big bad mob boss who would do anything for those he loves. And this is a perfect example of that, because he's so hard and tough and a bad guy, but when he's with her he's soft and he just melts. the violence in this is the perfect mix of descriptive without being gory, it's realistic yet not exaggerated or too much to handle. it represents the truth well because it's not  ignoring the truth to mobsters. The way they use the other characters and it is why I was awesome because you get to see the comparison between who they are in the Fic and who they are in the movies. The sexy scenes are nice too lol, and knife kink alert lol, That must be said. 

World On Fire by @beckzorz

Alright so this one is super awesome, it's not done yet but what is done of it is too amazing to not include. it's like the perfect combination of two AUs: its mob boss Bucky, and 40s Bucky all in one. What else could you want honestly?The story keeps you on your toes, you know he's secretive she's in love with him oh, you don't really know what's happening next until it happens and then you think we'll of course that's the perfect way to take the story. the way she writes to is just so amazing, it feels like you're back in time and the way she uses those sensory details is just spectacular. In the reader has secrets to so it's like as your reading your findings these things out And it's just really interesting there is no boring aspect to it.

The White Wolf by @captain-ariel-barnes

Okay so this is the first like long mobster fix that I read and it was a really good introduction to that universe. The way every aspect of this story comes together is just really amazing the plot, the dynamic between the characters, the details, the emotion it makes you feel, it's just the perfect combination of pain and fluff in it just is a really good read. it was a roller coaster of emotions, but it was worth it there wasn't just any angst to have angst it was all plot driven and necessary. Also the way it circles back to the beginning at the end is just an example of really good writing it was believable and true to mobster universe is but it also really reference to the Cinematic Universe really well because it brought in those little details and twists from the movie. And I really really love the flower aspect of it, I just really like flowers, and the fact that he loved her so much from the beginning and you could just see that throughout the whole story was just beautiful. 

His Favorite Gal by @mycupoffanfiction

Okay so there's probably nothing in the world I love more than tough guy and the waitress trope.  and this is just a really good rendition of that, it was one of those stories that like was so good that you read it all in one go and then you get to the end and you're kind of like well damn now it's over and I don't really know what to do. He loved her so much and it was one of those stories that made you feel really powerful to be a woman because it wasn't ever demeaning and it was really empowering to see her go from being a waitress to the queen of New York like that, I really like how it represented how if you have a healthy relationship then you'll both grow to be better people (besides the whole mob aspect lol) 

A Business Deal by @em-imagines

So this one was super interesting, I really loved seeing as the story went on how they were falling for each other. And honestly just like the beginning of the story that plot twist was absolutely amazing, I really like how it showed how powerful the reader can be. Because a lot of the times and fix complex where he has all the power over her, but I really like seeing them on that sort of equal plane. The dynamic between the two was also really awesome because there wasn't ever any Real damsel-in-distress moment oh, they were both really independent and capable people who came together to form that's really nice relationship. It was just a really good story to read, and there are many like it out there.

Should’ve Listened by @becs-bunker

You know as I've been saying I really like the stories where the reader isn't just completely helpless, and this is another really good example because you know like it says the reader is truly a bad ass. When you think the world that she's in the middle of and how she reacts to it it's really empowering, and the way her and Bucky interact is really nice to see. And it's really interesting to read because you can literally feel the tension between them and when is it going to happen when is it going to happen oh, and I really hope there's another part to it lol. Its really well done, and a nice funread.

Kings by @kaunis-sielu

So this one I'm going to be honest and say I didn't know if I was going to like it because I'm not a huge fan of really helpless readers but the way this was done is just really sweet. because she's not just completely helpless like she's not incapable, she just needs help because this isn't the world she's used to being in. and you know the relationship moves fast but you never get the feeling of like that went so fast, you just really feel the love in their relationship. And you see her grow into the position she got put into as his girlfriend, because you feel her gain her confidence and she becomes a real badass in the end and I love how much he loves her it was a really sweet story.

Also check out some awesome drabbles at @empyreanwritings under #Mob Monday, and at @bucky-plums-barnes under #Mobster!Bucky

Thank you guys for reading until the end, i hope you love these as much as I do!💖💖

[jojiship]

Studio Ghibli Films: Thoughts & Rankings

I have been binging Studio Ghibli (and other anime films) since May. I saw a lot of people in Youtube rank them and I decided to do it as well. While I don’t have a camera to record myself, I decided to post my ranking of its films. First of all, I want to say that this is quite a subjective ranking and it’s personal. These are my opinions and of course, everyone can have opinions of their own. Second of all, I think all of these films have their good sides, but there are ones that I enjoyed and there are ones I didn’t enjoy. Either way, I recommend people to watch all of these films. You won’t regret watching most of them.

This post ranks the films from the 5th to 1st. Obviously, there will be spoilers ahead, so you’ve been warned.

5. Princess Mononoke (1997) – I would watch the animation of the nature in this film for hours in loop. It’s so wonderful, beautiful and breathtaking. Whether it’s animating the lake, the forest or even just the trees, I was in awe of it. It truly makes you appreciate it and again, Studio Ghibli shows you how much they love nature themselves. Now, let’s talk about the film. The film was amazing. The best word for it is amazing. The plot was so different and yet so captivating. There wasn’t a moment in this film where I was bored and where I felt it dragged along. Seeing this battle between humans and nature was what I had to see. When I was a kid, I didn’t appreciate this film as much, but now, it’s definitely one of my favourite films and in my top five of Studio Ghibli films. All the characters were incredibly well written, especially Ashitaka, San and Lady Eboshi. I love how there was no villain in this film. Yes, Lady Eboshi and her people were ruining the forest, but they were also trying to live their lives and grow as a community. I loved how everyone played a part in the village, the men, the woman and even the disables, had roles. You don’t see this in many films and I like that Princess Mononoke showed us that. The boars and the wolves were interesting to see as well. The bond that San had with her family and how she hated humans because of how she was raised. The ending was great. I liked that Ashitaka decided to stay and help with Irontown rather than go with San like some people expected him to. The only thing that truly bothered me was the face of the Forest Spirit. It haunted me for days which prove how much it creeped me out. If someone told me that the face of the Forest Spirit was their sleep paralysis demon, I would believe them in the spot.

4. My Neighbor Totoro (1988) - The first Studio Ghibli film that I’ve seen is My Neighbor Totoro. It’s the kind of film that reminds me of my childhood and it’s the one that gives me a nostalgic feeling. I love it so much that it’s definitely the film of Studio Ghibli that I’ve seen the most. It has this charm that should be more prevalent in other animated films, especially films for kids. Every scene is truly like magic. Whether it’s the umbrella scene at the bus stop, or the scene where the tree grows, or even the scene with the cat bus and the girls. Satsuki and Mei are enjoyable, vibrant and interesting characters. The bond between them reminds me a lot of my bond with my older sister. You can definitely say that I was a lot like Mei as a little kid (Yes, I did get lost one time and made my whole family, especially my sister lose their mind). Again, this film embraces the beauty of being a child. It shows the curiosity, the innocence, the energy and the imagination that most kids possess at that age. Totoro is such an interesting character design and it’s no surprise that it’s the logo of Studio Ghibli. My Neighbor Totoro speaks to my inner child and reminds me of the good old days. It’s a film that I’ll recommend to everyone, but especially young kids. Also, it’s the Studio Ghibli film that makes me smile through the whole of it. If I’m feeling sad or if I’m not in a good mood, I watch My Neighbor Totoro and it never fails to make me feel better.

3. Spirited Away (2001) – Objectively, I think Spirited Away is the best film that Studio Ghibli has ever produced. Personally, it’s the third, but that doesn’t mean it’s worse than the second and first. It’s a matter of preference that I have. Again, I watched this film as a kid and I did enjoy it a lot. I always called it one of the best animated films. I rewatched it in May after years of not watching it and I loved it just as much as I did when I was a kid if not more. Miyazaki created an unforgettable film with an astounding plot, amazing characters and an exciting world building. Chihiro is your typical kid. She can be whiny and scared just as every kid is her age. The growth that she goes through the film was amazing. Watching her work hard and her progress was such a good watch. You could see her struggle with cleaning at first, but soon enough, she got the hang of it. Also, as much as I love the film, I couldn’t help but think that her parents were a bit dumb. Like my parents wouldn’t have done any of the things her parents did. My dad wouldn’t have sped like that in such a dangerous road and they definitely would have turned around after coming close to the temple. Either way, I’m glad that they screwed up though because it gave me this film. The other characters like Haku, Yubaba, Zeniba, Lin and many others were brilliant. Out of all this, I enjoyed Haku the most. The way he helped Chihiro was so nice and their whole bond was fascinating to see on screen. The guests in the bathhouse were designed so well and were just so good. I don’t have any words to describe the scenes with No Face or the spirit of the polluted river because they are out of this world. No wonder this film won an Oscar for best animated film. The details, the story, the animation, the characters, the soundtrack and the world building all deserve an Oscar of their own. 

2. Grave of the Fireflies (1988) - I don’t think I’ve ever cried with any film, book or series as much as I cried with this. Even when it ended and I had turned my TV off, I was crying. It’s one of the saddest films I’ve ever watched and truly, the saddest film Studio Ghibli has ever made. It touched my heart immediately when it started and it ended up ripping it at the end. I knew that it wasn’t going to have a happy ending, the beginning tells you that it’s going to end quite sadly. Yet I was taken back by the scenes, especially the last scenes. The story of Seita and Setsuko is a story that many kids have experienced in war. In most war films, we are shown battles, we are shown armies, soldiers etc., but not in this film. In this film, we saw the personal history of siblings trying to survive war and bombings. Seeing Setsuko hallucinating was heartbreaking and it was in that moment when I started to cry. When Seita said that she never woke up after that, I couldn’t control myself. Funeral scenes have been hard for me to watch lately, but not a single funeral scene has broken my heart like the one in this film. The scene where Home Sweet Home played in the background left me speechless and I still don’t know how to explain how I feel with that scene. Grave of the Fireflies is a film that is all too real and it made my whole body hurt at the end. Although it's ranked second in my list, it’s the one who I’ll probably rewatch the least out of all Studio Ghibli. Takahata is truly an incredible director and this film proves that better than any other film of his.

1. Whisper of the Heart (1995) – Talented. Inspiring. Brilliant. Relatable. Amazing. Show-stopping. Spectacular. Never the same. Totally unique. Whisper of the Heart is undoubtedly the best Studio Ghibli film I’ve watched. I enjoyed everything about it to the last details. I didn’t even stop the film to get water even though I was thirsty as hell. That’s how much I loved the film. I never related to characters as much as I related to Shizuku and Seiji. I write and I used to play the violin when I was younger. While I stopped, I still enjoy every story that has something to do with violins. Shizuku was such a normal character that spoke so much to me and to everyone I recommended this film to. Many of us have been in her position where we didn’t know what we’re going to do in the future. While Shizuku had many interests, you could see that she was stuck. I liked that she was inspired by Seiji to see if she could be good at something and she learned that she did have some sort of talent for writing. But just like Seiji’s grandfather, Shiro said about polishing her talent. I think many people, especially people who paint, draw, sing, compose, write and build, should listen to his words. They shouldn’t expect perfection at their first try and that they should give it time and hard work for their skills to become amazing. When I first started to write, I needed to hear Shiro’s words. This film is such a beautiful coming of age story that I think everyone should see no matter the age. Now, let’s go to the romance of the film. Hands down, Shizuku and Seiji are the best romance in Studio Ghibli films. While I love Howl and Sophie and Jiro and Naoko, it’s Shizuku and Seiji that won my heart. They had such a good romantic journey. Their scenes were just astoundingly beautiful, especially the one in the end. When I saw him by the tree, I started to giggle and I always screamed. It was just incredible to watch. Every interaction they had made me love them more. I repeat, the best Studio Ghibli couple. When I finished the film, I wanted to find a guy like Seiji. Too bad we were in lockdown and I was unable to find him. The use of Country Roads was amazing. I always loved the song and now, it’s one of my favourite. What upsets me about this film is the death of its director. If Kondo hadn’t tragically passed away in 1998, I think he would have given us other amazing films like Whisper of the Heart. I can say that this movie whispered in my heart and I’ll never forget it.

[mysterylover123]

My Top 10 Christmas Episodes

mysterylover123

Everyone has a favorite Christmas Episode. That time of year from your favorite shows where the characters celebrate the holidays along with you, usually accompanied by big changes in their lives, gaudy decorations, and creative traditions. I’ve included my top 10 here, along with some honorable mentions. I’ve excluded Christmases I liked from book/film/comic book series, thought I think in 2 years time there will be a grand new edition to the list (aka My Hero Academia). Hope you all like them and have a Merry Christmas! 

#10. Futurama “Xmas Story” Airdate: 12/19/1999

I don’t broadcast it much, but I love classic Futurama. This little gem of a Christmas episode - sorry, X-mas episode - is a common staple of “Best Christmas Episode” lists, and for good reason. It’s one of those “dark” Christmas stories, featuring a murderous Santa Claus robot, Fry dealing with being 1000 years in the future where his old traditions have died, and some good bonding moments among the cast of Planet Express. I particularly like the “gift of the Magi” joke with Amy and Hermes, and the Harold Lloyd reference with Fry on the clock tower.  

#9. X-Men Evolution “On Angel’s Wings” Airdate: 12/15/2001

X-Men Evolution is a nostalgic favorite of mine - my introduction to the X-men in high school, the first show I ever read fanfiction for, etc. It’s Christmas episode has a very warm feeling to it, a rare dip into sentimentality for the show. It deals with Scott and Rogue going to recruit Angel for the X-Men while the others are home for the holidays, and clashing with Magneto in their attempts to do so. I’m always down for an episode focused on Rogue, and her bond with Scott over being the X-Men without families to go home to is great. The little montage that ends the episode always puts a smile on my face.

#8. The Simpsons “Holidays of Future Passed”  Airdate: 12/11/2011

I heard this one was thought of as a potential series finale for The Simpsons, as a bit of closure for their premiere (another christmas Episode, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open fire”, which I like but find a little too ‘early Simpsons’ to make the list.). Honestly, I wish it had been. Modern Simpsons is generally such a mess, it would’ve been nice to see it get such a dignified end in Season 23. This one is a great little trip to the future of the family, and it really feels like a nice vision of what could become of them somewhere down the line. I like that this one gives Homer a chance to be a good grandad, and a bonding moment between Lisa and Bart. I hope this is where they really do end up.

#7. Frasier “Frasier Grinch” Airdate: 12/19/1995

Frasier is the only show that ended up landing 2 Christmas episodes in my Top 10. And I felt I still had to cut a few of them that could’ve made the list easily. This series really had a knack for the Christmas episode. My 2nd favorite, obviously, is this little offering from Season 3, which deals with Frasier trying to get Freddy gifts in time for the holiday when the ones he ordered got misdirected. It ends up touching on an aspect of the holidays I wish would get covered a little more often: when you buy others Christmas gifts, are you getting them what they actually want, or just what you think they should want? Overbearing Frasier has made this blunder, and the episode helps him learn that lesson. Though as usual Niles steals the show. Niles in a toy store trying out a doofy hat is more than worth the #7 spot.

#6. Friends “The One with the Christmas in Tulsa” Airdate: 12/12/2002

Friends has a lot of Christmastime episodes, but most of them are just kinda coincidentally set around the holidays. Only a few stand out as actual “Christmas Episodes”. While I enjoy “Holiday Armadillo”’s comedy and “Creepy Holiday card”’s sentimentality, my standout favorite is this one, the last Christmas episode they did, perhaps because Chandler and Monica are my favorites on the show and their romance is the OTP. This one deals with Chandler away from home, working on Christmas at a job he hates and being separated from Monica. Through some clips and a bit of soul searching, he decides to finally quit the job he hates and pursue something he wants to do. It’s a great example of how to do a clip show/Christmas episode well, move characters forward, and remind us of why we love these two together.

#5. Buffy “Amends” Airdate: 12/15/1998

This one would probably be higher if there wasn’t so much Bangel melodrama in the last 10 minutes (sorry fans, I really hate Bangel). But the rest of it is more than good enough to put Buffy’s sole Christmas episode at #5 for me. What I love the most about this one is, well, the ‘amends’ of the title. Xander starts making up for 3 seasons of douchebaggery by being a good friend. Willow makes up with Oz. Buffy makes up with Faith. That latter one puts the biggest smile on my face of the bunch; it’s bittersweet, given what happens, but when Faith shows up on Buffy’s doorstep with presents for her and Joyce, my small Grinch heart grows three sizes each time. Definitely a must-watch.

#4. Parks and Recreation “Christmas Scandal” Airdate: 12/10/2009

Parks and Rec has 3 Christmas episodes and they’re all pretty good. I debated between this one and “Ron and Diane”, but since that one is more about Ron’s award ceremony, I decided to go with Season 2′s. This one is a very “Parks and Rec” kinda Christmas, dealing with Leslie getting involved in a dumb sex scandal, the Parks department putting on a “Winter wonderland” on Lot 48, some dating drama about Ann and Leslie and their boyfriends (At this point, since Ben and Chris weren’t around yet, Mark and Dave), and a very cute hug between a pre-marriage April and Andy. The biggest win in this one is the sheer Christmas atmosphere. It practically glows off the screen.

#3. How I Met Your Mother “False Positive” Airdate: 12/13/2010

HIMYM is another one with a lot of candidates, but “False Positive” really stands out to me as something special. It’s essentially an “It’s a wonderful life”-style story (as they’re going to see the movie) where Lily’s false positive pregnancy test inspires the friend group to each choose the more responsible path in life of their two choices, only to chicken out when the false part of the title is revealed. The way the episode ends is absolutely spectacular, a standout moment to me among the series’ many strong character moments, and leads to strong development for all around going forward. Definitely a highlight of HIMYM’s 6th season, and an episode full of  Christmas imagery, soul-searching, and classic plotlines.

#2. Frasier “The Fight Before Christmas” Airdate: 12/16/1999

My favorite Frasier Christmas episode feels like it combines a little bit of everything that makes the other ones good: a KACL office Christmas party with a whacky theme (we finally see it instead of having it going on in the background!), Frasier being pompous about Christmas celebrations and ending up karmically punished for it, a comedic scenario which crafts a comedy of errors, Martin’s decorating. In many ways though, the highlight of this one is how deftly it handles the romance reveal from the previous episode between Niles and Daphne. in the midst of all the crappy Christmas rom coms, it’s easy to forget how strong a good Christmas set romance can be, and the moment of tension as Daphne tries to reject Niles but just can’t quite do it is a standout for me. Definitely my favorite of Frasier’s 8 xmas episodes.

Hon. Mentions: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire, Batman Christmas with the Joker and Holiday Knights, Frasier Perspectives on Christmas, Parks and Rec Ron and Diane, HIMYM How Lily Stole Christmas.

#1. Smallville “Lexmas” Airdate: 12/8/2005

This one isn’t just a Christmas episode. It’s pretty much the Ultimate Christmas episode. Where to begin? A fancy Christmas party jam-packed with colorful decor. Superman - Clark - delivering presents as Santa for the Daily Planet. Clark talking/saving a depressed mall Santa (or is he real?) from committing suicide with an emotional heart to heart. Sweet family Christmas  celebrations (right before tragedy strike in the next episode). But of course, the real highlight of this one is Lex’s Alternate Reality fantasy. After getting shot, the titular Luthor has a vision of what his life could be like if he did the right thing, essentially an “It’s a Wonderful Life” style alternate reality. However, that reality ends in tragedy, and the tragic twist of the episode is that instead of leading the Grinch’s heart to grow, the Christmas dream only serves to help solidify Luthor’s fall to the dark side. It is certainly juxtaposed with enough holiday magic and hope to offset that depressing ending, but I will admit to liking a bit of subversion in my stories now and then. Everything Christmas episodes could have is jam-packed into this episode. 

[darrowsrising]

Best Gold House - rated by yours truly

House Augustus:

Standard: golden lion on red and white

Words: Hic sunt leones - Here be lions

City of power: Aegea, Mars

Rating: The Very Best

When it comes to aesthetics and complex characters, House Augustus is the very best. From the 13th generation to the 15th (yes, I like all Augustus members from Nero to Pax, obviously I love Virginia and Pax the most out of them, I am basically spoiled with Augustus content every book - I'll include Addy as a cool villain, why not). Hail Augustus! Hic sunt leones!

House Arcos:

Standard: purple griffin on snow field

Words: Honor in the first. Honour in the last

City of power: Elysium, Mars (later a mansion on Europa)

Rating: 'Amazing, Fierce, Spectacular, One of a Kind' House

House Arcos needs more limelight, that is why they haven't beaten House Augustus - I mean...they have live griffins, can't fuck with that. Also...Alexandar and the Arcos Knights? They all have my poor, beaten heart forever.

House Telemanus

Standard: red fox

Words: -

City of power: Zephyria, Mars

Rating: 'The Absolute Best, everyone else, go home' House

However, when it comes to the best family dynamics and unconditional love and over all badass characters, House Telemanus is absolute perfection. Everyone in that family is absolutely great and great human beings too. Kavax and Niobe are the best parents in the galaxy and their kids are just as awesome! The aesthetics for Daxo and Thraxa? Their whole fam's attitude? Sign me the fuck up! (Don't salt my wounds, please, I am still in denial.)

House Bellona

Standard: silver eagle on blue and silver

Words: Alis Aquilae - on eagle wings

City of power: Olympia

Rating: 'Half Trash, Half Gold - Discard the Trash and Enter the New Bloodydamn Era already' House / 'Cassius make House Bellona great again, please' House

I feel like House Bellona is in between - good aesthetics, one parent honorable and true, one parent downright annoying viper who uses emotional blackmail to manipulate the kids, half of members (I'll include nieces, nephews and the lot) are mindless brutes, the other half is quite awesome with Cassius at the front. Not too crazy, but not too great either(Cassius can't keep them all up to his level and Julian tragically died...).

House Raa

Standard: four-headed white dragon (Seto Kaiba would have a fit about it, lol)

Words: Pulvis et Umbrae - Dust and Shadows

City of power: Nessus, Io

Rating: Drama, True Honor and Conflicts House

House Raa has great aesthetics and real dragons - again, can't fuck with that. But I feel like they always shoot themselves in the foot with family drama and betrayals. I am for unity and loyalty, so maybe that's why I'd rank them lower...aesthetics only get you so far. They do love each other, which is interesting af to see.

House Julii

Standard: a sun weeping blood

Words: - ...(can I hope that they adopted the Barca's Omnis Vir Lupus/Hic est lupus after Victraa married Sevro?)

City of power: Hippolyte, The Jade City

Rating: Queen House

House Julii gets props for aesthetics and mother-daughter relationship, because Victra and Agrippina were badass. Victra's complex relationship with Antonia was cool too. Unity is kinda medium level in this family, but the aesthetics are all on point.

House Rath-Valii

Standard: purple

Words: -

City of power: in Thessalonica, Mars/moved to Venus after they lost the Battle on Mars during the Solar War

Rating: 'Quality Fuckboy Trash' House

Tharsus is anticlimatically bland in this family, but other than that Tactus and Apollonius are some very complex and interesting characters on their own. That is why I think that this fucked up and very separated and shallow family deserves a spot on this list.

House Grimmus:

Standard: pearl skull on black

Words: 🤷🏻‍♀️

City of power: Africa, Earth

Rating: 'JUST DIE ALREADY' House (mkay, maybe give a chance to Ajax...but just one)

We don't know much about Moira, but it is pretty clear that onky Aja and Atalantia have the aesthetics in the family. As for relationships between members...they all suck. ALL OF THEM. Ok, maybe Aja and Ajax's relationship saves a bit of face, but that is it. Kinda like the complexity of the aforementioned sisters and their father. Aja was the best out of that family, truth be told. I think there are a parallels between Atalantia and Magnus and Adrius and Nero, so that gives this House more depth and interest. Ajax is more of a victim than anything else, maybe he can change...maybe, not really sure. Still, they are no fun...

House Lune:

Standard: crescend moon on gold and white

Words: ...

City of Power: Hyperion, Luna

Rating: 'Not that bad over all, I guess' House

We know Brutus and Anastasia were pretty cool people, but do I need to go over how awful Octavia and Lysander are? Different degrees of awful that is true. Ovidius au Lune, Octavia's father was awful too. Silenius sounds a bit better...not by much. The relationships between members is not touched upon much, but they did love each other, I guess. Not a fan,though, I think that House Grimmus is way better. And they are all very questionable, but at least they are truthful about it. Anyway, over all they are not that bad - Octavia and Lysander are very complex characters and the glimpses we get into some things are worth the hassle, because they balance the awful.

Bonus: House Barca

Standard: a sun weeping blood

Words: Omnis Vir Lupus/Hic Est Lupus

City of power: Hippolyte, The Jade City

Rating: 'Feral, Rich and Better than you' House

This House is incredible from Fitchner to Ulysses (*cries forever*). Everything is amazing about every member. The complexity, the pain, the love, the tragedy, the everything. This House DESERVES HAPPINESS. This House is blessed and blesses us. This House makes a very wonderful triumvirate with House Augustus and House Telemanus and if anyone has anything to complain about that, please grab a chair and wait for me to care.

...

I kinda forgot some House words (if Grimmus and Lune have some words please message me to edit them into this post) and this kinda became a diss towards the end, but that is what you get when I listen to rap for 3 days straight. 😁😁😁

Howl on!

[mst3kproject]

602: Invasion USA

 This is not the 1985 movie with Chuck Norris.  I suppose I should watch that one someday as an Episode that Never Was, but for now we have this.  Its basic purpose is the same as that of Rocket Attack USA, to scare the audience into patriotic loyalty, and it shockingly manages to be even worse at it.

A bunch of people are sitting around in a bar talking about the universal draft when an unnamed country suddenly declares war on the United States, and… well, that’s it, really.  Stock footage of anti-aircraft guns fires on stock footage of planes. Stock footage of atom bombs is dropped on stock footage of cities.  Stock footage of warships crosses stock footage of oceans.  All while the so-called characters watch it happening on television and remark on how they can’t believe this is real… no wonder, since none of it is happening in the same dimension they’re in.

I refuse to call Invasion USA a movie.  It doesn’t qualify.  It’s more like four newsreels in a trench coat and a fake beard, trying to pretend they’re a narrative.  Take, for example, the part where Boulder Dam is destroyed.  We see stock footage of the planes.  We see stock footage of the dam.  We see stock footage of a mushroom cloud.  And then stock footage of a flood.  The closest this comes to interacting with the characters fleeing from it is that we see the flood footage back-projected behind their car, and then the camera rolls over and we cut to some of their possessions which have been tossed into a river.  It’s all so obviously a juxtaposition rather than a series of events.  You can’t help but roll your eyes.

The nearest this comes to being interesting or exciting is some of the stuff we see in the military stock footage.  The audience doesn’t exactly feel involved in this – it’s just film of random Things Happening so it doesn’t tell a story, except in retrospect when the TV news anchor tells us what’s supposed to be going on, but there are some spectacular plane crashes and so forth.  Of course, then you remember that none of this is special effects.  You’re watching real human beings die gruesome deaths.  That sucks the fun out of it pretty fast.

It’s not until the last twelve minutes that we get anything that might be called a special effect.  The bad guys nuke New York, and while what we see looks nothing like the aftermath of an atomic bombing, there is an actual miniature building that falls apart, dumping Styrofoam boulders on our heroes.  This is followed by a mediocre matte paining, but one that still does the job its meant to do.  It’s actually kind of a shock, since up until now the war has seemed to go on all around this room but never to enter it.

That’s one halfway-effective moment out of an entire seventy-three minutes of film, however, and the rest is all garbage. Not only is there the endless stock footage, there’s also the bad guys.  They’re never identified as Soviets, though they speak with Russian accents, because the film-makers didn’t want Invasion USA to be a self-fulfilling prophecy (thus making them more sensible than the people who made The Interview).  Much is made of the fact that they’re wearing American uniforms, but the one time they try to make a plot point out of it, a guard sees through the ruse immediately. The real reason is once again to avoid mentioning a country, and so they can use the stock footage of American soldiers to represent both sides.

The baddies espouse ideals of equality, freedom, and peace, but the only ones we actually meet are a couple of bullying, alcoholic rapists. This serves its purpose but the writers apparently see no contradiction between portraying ‘bad’ characters as drunks and having the ‘good’ characters sitting around drinking for half the run time.  I guess whether alcohol is good or bad depends on how nicely you’re dressed and what shape of glass you’re drinking it from. Not to mention that the psychic who can be seen as a bully and a rapist based on what he does to the other characters’ minds, but I’ll get back to that.

How long the whole war takes to happen I have no idea.  A few days must have passed, since a guy drives from San Francisco to somewhere in Arizona, and somebody makes a reference to ‘months’, but the way we keep cutting back to the same people in the same bar gives the impression that the invasion of America happens in about twenty minutes.  Maybe this is intentional, since the story, of course, ends with the revelation that it was alllll a dreeeeeeam.  Or maybe everybody was just too incompetent to show us time passing.

The ending attempts to work on multiple levels and is shit on all of them.  First, there’s the ending to the narrative we’ve been watching.  This isn’t really a story, since there’s no plot as such, merely things happening that the characters cannot possibly do anything about. They’re powerless in the face of these overwhelming events, and once the factory owner is shot after refusing to build tanks for the invaders, it doesn’t take the audience long to realize that this fate will be pretty universal.  Sure enough! The rancher is drowned when the flood from the broken dam sweeps him away, along with his wife and kids to make it extra-tragic.  The politician is killed in the attack on Washington.  The reporter is shot for picking a fight with a bad guy, and his girlfriend leaps out the window to her death.

Then of course they wake up back in the bar, and learn that it was all a dream, or rather a vision, instilled in their minds by a psychic who hypnotized them with swirling whiskey!  I’m inclined to be slightly more forgiving of this than I normally would be, since it was sort of set up and at this point there’s really nowhere else to go.  It’s still an obnoxious way to end a story and there’s a reason your high school English teacher told you not to do it.  Some dialogue establishes they all had the same vision, and then the psychic informs them that this is what the future will be if they don’t take steps to avoid it.

Uh, excuse me, what?  Nothing we’ve just seen suggests that any of these five people were in a particular position to save the world.  They can do small things – the woman goes to get a job at the blood bank, the factory owner decides to make tank parts instead of tractors, and so on (are tractors not important?  Call me a commie but I’d rather my tax money be spent on feeding people than on blowing them up).  But none of this will prevent the invasion we saw and could only make the slightest of differences in its outcome.  Are the five of them somehow crucial in a way the narrative didn’t bother to make clear?

Of course, that’s not actually the point here.  The real moral of the story is that we all need to do what we can to grease the wheels of the war machine, or we’re gonna end up calling each other Comrade.  So… what was the psychic’s goal, here?  Did he just decide to scare the pants off these people because he was annoyed by their opinions about the draft?  Or is he going from bar to bar, instilling this vision of the future in every person he meets one at a time?  And of course we have only his word for it that it is the future. The bartender does call him a con man, and for all we know he made the whole thing up.

What about the woman and the reporter, who saw themselves falling in love and then being tragically separated?  They didn’t consent to that.  The illusion of the relationship, with all its emotional, psychological, and sexual consequences, was forced upon them by an outside influence.  They decide to use this second chance to pursue it in a situation where it might not end in tragedy, but who’s to say it’ll work without that background?  They would have every right to object to this violation of their minds… as would the others, who saw their families die and their homes destroyed.

The final shot gives us a quote from George Washington: to prepare for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.  I don’t know if Washington ever said that but if he did he stole it.  Si vis pacem, para bellum is a Latin adage, first attested in Vegetius, although versions also appear in Plato and Sima Qian.  It’s as old as humanity, and attributing it to Washington is just one more attempt to tug on the patriotic heartstrings.  Of course, if you consider the Romans, the Athenians, and the ancient Chinese… yep, this is something said by empire builders.

You know what movies like this have taught me?  That propaganda film-making is really hard.  If you want to deliver a message without annoying the audience then it has to emerge naturally from the story being told, rather than being imposed upon it like, say, the save-the-oceans message in Gamera vs Zigra. Then the story also has to make sense outside of that message, it has to feel like it would be worth telling even if the moral weren’t attached – Pacific Rim has a moral about working together, but it’s also just enjoyable to watch.  Invasion USA is not like that.  It exists only to shove its message down our throats and it isn’t even any good at it.  Fuck this stock footage montage pretending to be a movie.

[kallypsowrites]

Braime moments 8x04

Alright, I’ve been waiting for what happened in this episode to happen since I was eighteen and watching season three for the first time. That’s six years my dudes. So I’m not going to let the tragic ending spoil it for me. We’re gonna talk about all the little Braime moments.

1. The drinking game

- Jaime was at Brienne’s side the whole damn time from the funeral to the party and onward. He’s practically glued to her. Even his solo scene with Tyrion involved him talking about Brienne

- The way he rests his hand over hers when she lays it over her cup, as if to encourage her to let loose and have fun. But also just...that hand touch. Mirrors that scene in season three when he keeps her from pulling a knife on Roose Bolton

- The smiles. FUCK the SMILES. They are just openly grinning at each other. No boundaries at all. They are happy to have survived. They are smiling and laughing and no longer guarded as they were for most of their relationship.

- Brienne has, in general, never been this happy or dorky. Every one of Brienne’s little looks and smiles when she’s drunk. Spectacular.

- Jaime clearly remembers like...everything Brienne has ever told him because he’s able to guess things so easily during the game. Also they’re still bantering “I told you that” “no you didn’t” “I DID”. So cute.

- When Tyrion makes the “you’re a virgin” statement and Brienne becomes guarded, Jaime tries to misdirect his brother because he knows that it’s going to be a rough subject for her. He’s got hella protective instincts.

- When Tormund comes up and starts talking and Jaime rolls his eyes. Bonus, Brienne continues to be very unenthused by Tormund.

- Tormund tries to follow Brienne when she is in a vulnerable place and Jaime puts himself physically in between them. Like...in a fight, Tormund could kick his ass, but he still goes ‘not today, my dude’. And that smile and shoulder pat. That’s the most passive aggressive ‘sit the fuck down’ I’ve ever seen.

- Tyrion pouring Tormund a drink with that sassy look like ‘nice try, but you aren’t gonna get in the way of MY new ship.

The SCENE

- Jaime followed Brienne right after she left, but he obviously doesn’t immediately knock, which leads me to believe the idiot was pacing the hall nervously, having no idea what the fuck he is doing.

- When Brienne opens the door, you see a moment of panic on both of their faces. Brienne “fuck he’s at my door” Tarth and Jaime “oh god, she actually opened the door” Lannister.

- Jaime’s absolutely disaster flirting. Trying to use the drinking game as an excuse. The fact that he’s clearly tipsy and nervous. Mumbling under his breath and stuff. He doesn’t even seem to know why he’s come there, but here he is.

- Brienne having no idea what to do with this situation, because man, she never thought they’d be at this point

- Jaime finding the room hot because he is genuinely nervous. Jerking off his jacket and throwing it to the side.

- Jaime kind of sarcastically complimenting her (reverting to their old dynamic) and Brienne not taking that crap with her ‘piss off’. And yet it’s so much less aggressive than their old dynamic because they do trust each other now.

- Jaime getting closer to her with ‘I hate the fucking north’ and Brienne standing her ground.

- Jaime’s “I don’t want things growing on me” even though we see, clearly, that Brienne is growing on Jaime.

- The fucking Jaime jealousy, oh my GOD. “Is Tormund Giantsbane growing on you” and Brienne giving him a look like ‘fucking seriously. Does it look like he’s growing on me?’

- “You sound quite jealous”--even as Brienne says it, you can see she is so confused by it because, holy shit, she’s never had anyone be jealous over HER before.

- Jaime realizing that yes, he does sound jealous and then immediately saying ‘god its hot in here’. He’s such a disaster. Completely incapable of seducing anyone. What a dork.

- Jaime struggling with his shirt and Brienne getting fed up and helping him. The surprised look Jaime gives her when she does. It’s so fucking vulnerable.

- He just instinctively starts undoing her shirt as well, but stops when she stops him. Excellent.

- “What are you doing?” “Taking off your shirt��� --oh my god, you’re both such disasters at this. I love you.

- The fact that Brienne stops him and for a split second he wonders if she is going to reject him and he has a very worried look on his face. But then she starts undoing her own shirt and the look turns to ‘oh fuck, we’re doing this, aren’t we?’

- How she helps him out of his shirt and they just don’t say anything. I love how much they can communicate in silence.

- “I’ve never slept with a knight before”--Jaime, you’ve only ever been with your sister, but also, the fact that you call her a knight is just fucking adorable.

- “I’ve never slept with anyone before” --Brienne emphasizing that this is a very big deal for her. They’re both standing around slightly awkwardly because they really never thought they’d get to this point.

- The kiss itself. Oh boy, I gotta talk about the kiss. First of all, I LOVE that Jaime is the one who initiates it. I also love had goddamn hungry it is. Like this man has been holding himself back from this moment and suddenly, his resistance has snapped and he’s just going for it. There’s a desperation there that really speaks to what a long slow burn this has been between them. And the fact that Brienne just immediately starts kissing him back. And his hand on the side of her face. Ugh. It’s not perfect. It’s messy. But so is their relationship, I love this moment so much.

Afterwards

- Jaime looks conflicted after they have sex, but I mean, of course he does. He loves Brienne but this is the first time he’s ever loved anyone other than his sister. And this is the beginning of him doubting if he is worthy of her.

- The fact that Jaime was going to straight up stay in the north with Brienne. That was his plan. This wasn’t a ‘rebound and leave immediately’ thing. He really was intending to stay. He even said as much to Tyrion.

- Sansa defs knows that Jaime and Brienne are together lol

- His conversation with Tyrion and Tyrion is just so fucking happy for him. Like, Jaime is expecting some sort of snide comment but Tyrion is elated that he’s with someone who isn’t his sister. And he makes tall jokes.

- The fact that Jaime tells Tyrion to, essentially, fuck off when he tries to ask crude details, because he respects Brienne

- Ser Bronn approves of his ship being canon. Also say “it must be like looking in a mirror” which emphasizes that Jaime and Cersei might be twins, but Jaime and Brienne are soul twins with twin swords. Aaaaahhhh

The Scene of Heartbreak

- Alright, I want to pretend this didn’t happen, but I’m not yet losing hope based on my interpretation so here we go. UP UNTIL Jaime heard news about Cersei in the war (which was probably after a month in the north) he had no plans to go south and was content staying with Brienne. This is important to remember. He was never using her or trying to use her as a rebound.

- Jaime’s motivation for leaving is ambiguous, but it clearly tears him apart. Also, he and Brienne were staying in the SAME ROOM and SLEEPING TOGETHER for like a MONTH and who wants to write fanfic about that? Please and thank you.

- When Jaime is going, he tries not to even look at Brienne because he does not want to see the hurt on her face. He cares about hurting her.

- How Brienne grabs his face and forces him to look and how surprised and heartbroken he looks.

- He puts a hand on hers, clinging on for a moment, very tempted to stay.

- Brienne’s vulnerability. It shows how close they have grown and got Gwen’s acting just breaks my fucking heart. She deserves better than this.

- Jaime tells Brienne his sins. For one thing, I think he does this to make her not come after him so that she will stay safe. If Cersei finds out about Brienne, she will kill her. Better Brienne stay in the north. But also, he wants Brienne to realize that he is not worthy of her. That she can do better. That he’s not a good man and he doesn’t think he deserves happiness. He thinks his only chance at redemption is death.

- I think Jaime has one of two motivations. Either he sees that Cersei might very well win and he has to stop her, or he just knows that Brienne is better off without him and that he can’t escape his old life. Both are tragic but neither lessen his love for Brienne. I don’t think he has an ‘addiction to Cersei’. He’s just so used to feeling like trash ever since he became a King’s slayer. He doesn’t know how to leave that life.

Again, I fully think leaving Brienne sobbing was a dick move, but his motivation makes sense. We’ll have to wait to see what D&D do with his arc. Either it’s in character and he dies a hero or D&D are idiots and I ignore their writing decisions and pretend Jaime never left. Still, there were so many good moments this episode, and it would be a shame not to enjoy them because of this last scene.