#like idk if I just decided to stop
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it’s been like two weeks and I’m losing so much blood bros
#period tw#do you ever just know that if you decided to you would die.#like idk if I just decided to stop#trying and didn’t consciously breathe I could just die#like#it’s weird#anyway I think my irons low but I can’t take iron pills because of my birth control#but yeah is that. normal feeling because I’ve been feeling it mostly when my chronic pain flares up really bad#like. not even suicidalness#just that I’m on my last rope and if I chose to cut it I could literally do it#like it’s like a physical string that I could cut and I would just stop living#I think this sounds worse than I mean it to#like legit I feel like I could. uh shut down like it was a video game. I feel like I’m being given that choice#I’m not gonna choose it because duh but like#does anyone else feel that or am I trippin
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💕
#ultimate imposter#Hajime hinata#Twohina#An art#Sdr2#sdr2 nagito#danganronpa 2#Okay long tag rant incoming#I got into a comment thread on ig because I was mouthing off. Dumb of me I know I keep doing this#And it woke up a nasty side in myself that I don't like. Not that I said anything undeserved#but I was getting a little too into the satisfaction of it. And if you let yourself gloat in being nasty#You're more likely to allow yourself that in other situations and imo you just shouldn't indulge yourself in that#At least I shouldn't. Its not about being self satisfied. Anyway. SUCH A TANGENT#I had a little self reflection moment when I woke up and decided to stop being angry at people in my head. Even shitty people are just peop#And idk maybe that makes sense to someone. If this comic is super nonsensical to you dwbi lol#Okay that's it. Tap mic. Thanks you. Tip your waitress.#twogami
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.🖤🔄🤍.
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#limochi#art#mochi#lime#ocs#original#PALETTE SWAP PALETTE SWAP PALETTE SWAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ive been wanting to do this for so long....the m-34th purposely makes their uniforms white to be the anti-witch black color#and they both look DAMN FINE#limes def thinking abt how she looks like a bride#it took me a while to decide if i should also swap the gold#but the gold looks too good with the uniform...#i cant stop looking at this#ignore my sad excuse for crossed legs at this angle i gave up#hehe it reminds of an idea i have in beta about the m-34th letting witches off the hook post-ending#and changing their uniforms to black#idk if thats actually what happens but it would be wholesome for lime to come home in a black uniform#and mochi gets all emotional he looks so handsome#i just realized i messed up some of his uniform details#this is what i get for not looking at references for my own characters#also what i get for rushing a piece in 2 hours instead of taking my time#cat bow hat really fucks man#edit: i fixed the things that were bothering me hehe
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So anyways the reason I talked abt Ronin is because I binge watched Possession again and I realized. I have never drawn this bastard man. So here’s that (ignore that I didn’t add his hat it was annoying me)
+ me remembering that the Dobson brothers are all VAs that act in Ninjago as completely different characters and how much funnier certain dialogue gets with that context.
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago possession#ninjago fanart#ninjago ronin#ronin ninjago#nya ninjago#ninjago nya#nya smith#wu ninjago#ninjago wu#master wu#like fr rewatch ninjago but keep in mind that wu ronin and pythor’s VAs are siblings irl#paul (wu’s va) is the oldest and i’m pretty sure he gets called old by pythor too plenty of times#ah. siblings.#(i know that it’s for the actual characters but i like to imagine them just calling him old#and the directors deciding ‘’yk what why not keep that in’’)#also idk if this needs to be said but don’t tag as ship? idk i feel like there’s some weirdos out there#who see nya and ronin as a possible item and just. stop. get out of my blog. thanks.#cablart
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…What’s this?? WWX not being a self-sacrificial idiot??
It’s almost like… that isn’t a personality trait…
#and what?? he’s directly asking for help?? :oo#refinement 7#mdzs chapter 17#i can mostly deal with other takes in the fandom i don’t agree with#like yeah i may not agree with them personally but i can pretty much ignore them#and i know that would ideally be the case for all takes#but this one…#*screams into pillow*#idk why exactly but it’s just such a big pet peeve#ofc i won’t harrass anyone or (mean spiritedly) hijack posts bc. why do that it just harms people#so it’s mostly internal (and also means i write and rb a lot of posts about the contrary)#but if it isn’t my biggest irk in the fandom…#skye rereads mdzs#<- i am still doing chapter by chapter analyses but i’ve decided to reread without stopping first#since that gives me a more coherent picture of the book i think#so those will come but later — this is just something that stood out to me
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#dbtag#silly hours#god#I feel like that's a really clear and consistent thing throughout the entirety of the manga but OTL leave it to Toei!!!!#lays on the floor I wish people were less afraid of letting “good guys” be flawed and selfish and reckless without having to like.#idk vilify them?#like Goku does and always has had a ton of negative qualities about him but what keeps him a protag and what keeps those negatives charming#is that 1) he never promises to be anything Else. If you're upset by his behavior that's a you problem Goku's just doing Goku#He's only upset when Other People get hurt because 2) almost none of those negative qualities contain any malice whatsoever#even as a kid when he was 'i killed that guy' it was like 'i solved a problem why are you mad (gen)' not 'good fucking riddance lol'#and he kept that as an adult too even when he learned more about compassion he's still 'well if you're not gonna stop i have to kill you'#it's never 'fuck off and die' it's always 'listen buddy either you knock it off or i knock you out there is no option c '#and god i love that Goku. I spent so long thinking I hated Goku growing up but I only hated Toei's Goku. Toriyama's Goku is GREAT.#like look if an antagonist is just a hero with the wrong perspective a hero is just a villain with the right one#and the fact that Goku has all of the qualities of a villain with none of the malice or intention makes him SO POWERFUL as a character#Goku doesn't like bystanders getting hurt. That doesn't make him less chaotic and self-centered and simplistic in his worldview.#A hero sacrifices his loved ones to save the world -- a villain sacrifices the world to save his loved ones --#Goku sacrifices himself because you cannot kill him in any way that matters#idskahds anyway here's another essay in the tags for your wednesday evening scroll#the justification the interviewer gave was that the anime was for kids but my beef with that is that Hero Tropes strip chaotic characters#of their emotions. Goku's conflicts are emotional. Goku's power is emotional. Goku's childlikeness keep him authentically emotional.#MORE kids -- ESPECIALLY little boys -- deserve a male protagonist who leans into his emotions to persevere and win.#Super deciding his “angelic state” would kill him makes me want to tear my hair out lmao Goku's EMOTIONS are too strong to hold it.#you could've just asked toriyama about it why'd you decide on the most basic high-stakes shorthand possible OTL#aNYWAY#media analysis#in the tags at least lol
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fast sketch for today💓💓
#god these two are so cute will I ever stop drawing them ????#NO😤😤#anyways I am so tired today😭🙏#woke up at 5am & I’ve drank so much coffee!!#I have a lot of work this afternoon so I wanted to take advantage of my morning#deep cleaned/ran errands/walked the goblins#I’m about to exercise and idk why but I decided I’ve been too lazy about things lately#and I’m pushing myself so much with lifting these days I am SO SORE#(but like the good type of sore)#I just want my thighs to be more muscular 😭😭😭😭😭 lots of squats deadlift bulgarians hip thrust etc etc etc#at least I know by next week I will already see the results 🙏🙏 then I’ll be lazy again until they fade 😭#I have never managed to be obsessive about exercise or really enjoy it I just do the bare minimum to stay healthy#and hopefully my body will thank me as I get older#bc my job is so physical that I really need to take care of things or I could really mess things up for the future#tbh I’ve always noticed that tattoo artists always lift a lot🤝🤝#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#imelda reyes#poppy sweeting#imelda reyes x poppy sweeting
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dude in my lecture turned around to argue with me after overhearing me make a joke about “not going into medicine bc i can’t stand the sight of blood”
he felt it was of utmost importance that i know there are medical jobs where you don’t see blood and “just didn’t understand not going into medicine bc of a fear of blood”
dude
i don’t know you??
#why do ppl keep inviting themselves to my convos#i don’t talk loudly#i’m not even saying egregiously stupid things#bro it was a joke relax#he rlly thought#i somehow got to my 3rd year in college as a neuroscience major#and never knew their were positions in medicine that didn’t involve wounds#perhaps i was. idk. joking with my friend#if he had simply been excited to tell me smth he cared about#awesome!! im actually chill with that#but bro entered the conversation like he was dumbfounded by my idiocy#i wasn’t even mad exactly#just so confused about why tf he decided to do that#and why ppl do this to me#are other ppl experiencing this#do random strangers randomly interrupt u to make the convo about themselves#is this a thing?#is this what we’re doing?#i literally wouldn’t care if they brought any other energy#but they enter with this smugness#that activates my fight or flight#i’ll tell u that ur the most genius special boy to ever be#just please stop talking to me
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little rant, came to the realization today that when I eventually get married my mom definitely will not go. I don’t know why that hurts as much as it does. I’ve always known, like I’ve known for years and thought that I internalized it, but it’s just becoming more of a reality. I’m not even close to her but wow it sucks :)
#me begging my parents to just not vote for Trump went about as well as one can expect#as someone who isn’t even a fan of Kamala but terrified at the idea of another Trump presidency#not even like with me in mind…but mainly my brother#how do you as a parent of a disabled child decide to vote for a man who said that all Americans with disabilities should just die#how do you look him in the eyes after and say that it was the right decision#like the homophobia I’m used to at this point and it’s painful but knowing that not even the ableist shit is enough to stop it#I’m just very sad and exhausted and as much as I wish I personally had different parents#I really wish my brother had parents that were able to put him first#I’ll probably delete later today I’m just so sad and it’s a very painful thing to be grieving as stupid as it may sound#it’s also 10x more challenging wanting to just cut them off forever but losing my brother in the process idk#I look at people with parents who are either not voting or voting blue and aren’t crazy homophobes and I wonder what that is like#like she won’t be there for dress fittings or anything and I’m not even like engaged but damn
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Rewatching succession it really is wild to see Kendall and Shiv convince themselves over and over again that they can "fix ATN/Waystar from the inside" only to completely abandon their morals the minute it gives them a strategic advantage.
When they're on the outside it's an endless diatribe about how evil and rotten the company is to its core, but the second they get the slightest whiff of power they suddenly decide the problems are actually really manageable and that with the right leadership it could be a force for good, and like...the saddest part is that they genuinely seem to believe that.
#where's that crime and punishment quote about how the worst thing is that you've betrayed yourself for nothing...#and they really seem to think its true! they genuinely believe that they can turn it around and make it good! it's not an act!#kendall really thinks he's a feminist and 'one of the good ones' and shiv really does think she stands with/for women and liberal#ideals and the truth is that no matter how much they might care about those things they will always love power more and they#are infinitely more invested in the power structures that keep injustice alive than they are in actually trying to stop injustice#roman is the only one who's actually aware and honest about how fucked it all is but he thinks that means everything's bullshit and#therefore nothing matters. which can be just as dangerous as convincing yourself you're the good guy (see: america decides)#that's one of the things i like so much about the ending for shiv and kendall bc they're finally forced to confront the lies they've been#telling themselves. and like. maybe that'll go nowhere. maybe they won't change. but they might. and the only hope they have#of actually growing as people and maybe doing something good is if that illusion gets shattered#idk man i just have so many thoughts about succession#succession#shiv roy#kendall roy
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jack doodle dump
#i’m still trying to fully decide my designs for all the boys but i can’t stop drawing jack#jacks just really fun to draw#anyway#i wanna draw more lotf stuff so if anyone has suggestions i’d be so open to em#like i just need scenes to draw#or just characters#might reopen my requests for lotf#idk#lotf#jack lotf#lotf fanart#jack merridew#lord of the flies fanart#lord of the flies#thrush draws
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i've felt iffy about only three choices (all from inquisituon, most from a dlc) carrying over since it was released but hearing someone who got to play the game say "the appearances of certain returning characters are going to feel pretty hollow now knowing that they don't know their own past" which. yeah i knew that but worded like that it hurts a lot. we have a morrigan who doesn't know anything about the warden. who may or may not be under flemeth's control. morrigan who cannot mention her potential son.
#morrigan who doesnt know who ati is and how much she is loved by her#i know bioware decided the warden is on a mission to get a cure for the taint and. idk im just so annoyed#i know dao and da2 choices dont rlly matter in the future tevinter for the most part but i think we should have been allowed to say who our#warden and hawke was. they dont even exist in the time of veilguard anymore#theyre really doing nothing with leaving someone in the fade#i kind of feel like crying about ati and morrigan though bc im so frustrated with this game and i love them so much#and they love each other. theyre friends. morrigan has called ati a sister to her.#ok ill stop thinking about this before i cry#dragon age critical#leevi liveblogs
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Also sorry i havent been drawing much lately 😭
#i come from classes being exhausted…i forget we are just passing mid-term#like wdym im already halfway through..so I just come home and lay down#and scroll on insta…i should stop that but also lately I haven’t had ideas on what to draw#still working on the comic!! but it is slower#i should ask for drawing requests sometime#just to exercise yknow#also completely unrelated but i decided to watch bride of discord for the fun of it#omitting THAT part I think 12/13 year old me wouldve gobbled this up#also ive been writing chapter summaries of my au and i want to challenge myself how far I can go#currently i just finished w chapter 8’s summary#also sorry idk why im just ranting here#txt
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I thought it was hilarious, at first, that everyone’s decided Doomguy is still the protagonist of MyHouse.wad. After all, it doesn’t really have much more to do with Doom than gmod has to do with Half-Life 2. But then I remembered, isn’t that a plot point of Doom II? Visiting the burnt out ruins of your hometown on your way to the portal to Hell? Why couldn’t Doomguy take a few minutes to have a nightmare of an emotional journey in a childhood friend’s home to come to terms with everyone and everything he ever loved being destroyed?
#doom#myhouse.wad#lines i did#just to be clear i still do think its very funny that its been unanimously decided that dg is the protagonist of myhouse.wad#man has been fighting demons for thirty years and what does he get for his thirtieth birthday? more demons#except this time theyre mental and emotional demons#myhouse.wad does deserve all the popularity its getting tho#like.. yeah its amazing in its atmosphere n stuff#but its also nuts on a purely technological level#stepped inside the house the first time and just had to stop for a sec bc is that a hecking. BASEMENT?? a SECOND FLOOR in CLASSIC DOOM????#that shouldnt even be POSSIBLE.#(i mean. it obviously IS possible w clever use of various teleport effects. but still. it was a bit of a :O !!!!!!! moment)#setting a ridiculously high bar right off the bat and then following through for the rest of the game in meeting it#anyway. it was really good.#i guess in this case the good end would be more of a metaphorical/mental state?#being at peace internally as u go to voluntarily enter the depths of hell...#or something like that; anyway. idk man i am still just going :eyes: at the whole thing
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violently forcing myself to have better days
#everyone’s different and this isn’t true for everybody of course:#but a lot of the time we have more control over things than we can see in a difficult moment#like for example#a negative thought is inevitable and not something you can just stop. however you CAN decide from there how you let it effect you#it’s way easier said than done but you genuinely can be like hey I’m going to have a good day today#I like to set my intentions for the day and not allow my trauma nightmares to dictate how my whole day goes#but in order to do that I have to consciously decide that I deserve better and then create that for myself#does this make sense?#do things you know you enjoy/ things that make you feel better. take care of yourself. create little healthy routines to do each day#even if it’s just for 5 or 10 minutes#you have to act to make a genuine positive change in your life and circumstances#tried to say this as well as I could but I struggle w articulating exactly what I mean#like my thoughts are too complex to translate into words#anyways though I just wanted to add this- this post is not to make anybody feel bad whatsoever.#if you struggle with certain disorders and such it genuinely might be close to impossible for you to actually be able to have that control#and that’s okay. it doesn’t make you any less of a person and it is not your fault that you experience those difficulties#I just wanted to remind people that it is possible to control certain aspects of your life and it is possible to snap yourself out of it#I know I need to remember this as often as I can#that’s why I shared it#I hope this makes sense I do not know if it does lmao#(the tags)#my thoughts are so jumbled up. idk what other word to use lmao
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TAU fic recs (arranged in as close as i can get to chronological order)
Dipnip - Yggdrasil and its effects on Dipper (non-canon(?) past SA of Mabel) Henry&Mabel - How they met, fell in love, and got married The California Incident The Woodsman - How Henry became the Woodsman (Acacia loses her eye in chapter 6) Hank and his Supernatural Mafia The Scouring - Gideon attempts to undo the transcendence (Alcor is tortured; has a sequel) (Post-Mabel) Creation of the Circle of the Dreamer's Star Return, Rewind, Rewrite - Dipper makes a deal to become the twin of Mizar (Belle Sterling), forgetting who he is in the progress The Creation of the Alcor Virus The Rosewood Affair - The Alcor Virus inhabits a body and decides to go to school Jan Faust - A retelling of Jan Faust in the TAU universe; amazing series with much more amazing content So You Want To Be A Demonologist? - Alcor goes to college as Tyrone, a regular old human Reincarnation Blues - Bill Cipher is reincarnated as Ian Baele Toby Pines - Alcor freaks out over raising/taking care of Toby, Ian's/Bill's Reincarnation Bentley Farkas and Friends Haunted and Hunted - Alcor is forced to possess a selkie by a Government Alcor creates a new universe as the old one dies
#transcendence au#tau#fic rec#do NOT ask me how ive decided which fics happen before which. you do NOT want me to start talking abt it bc i will never stop.#ive just been hording this in a google doc for over a year so.#also if u want the link to the google doc i'll give it but WARNING it has my deranged ramblings abt the timeline#this is like. my 'required reading' list?#idk if thats the correct words. idk
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