#and i know that would ideally be the case for all takes
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gallavichsreddie1128 · 6 hours ago
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Enemies (Part Five) (Rafe Cameron)
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Description: Based off Episode 10!
Word Count: 2,004
Author’s note: Whenever season 5 comes out is when I’ll continue this.
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four
Y/N sat with her friends around the fire as they had hope that they would turn up to shore. Though Y/N wasn’t so sure. She saw the waves take them, How could they survive? She had been crying for so long that her eyes hurt and she needed sleep. She got up from the pogues and made her way to Rafe who sat by himself. He looked over at her as she came over.
She gave him a small smile they both knew was fake. He opened his arms and she collapsed in them. She groaned against his shirt as she was already falling asleep. He kissed her forehead as she drifted off. 
When she woke it was daylight and the others were awake. Rafe was still holding her and he looked down at her eyes as she opened them. “You stink.” Was the first thing she said and he gave her a sarcastic laugh, “Like you don’t?” He asked. She definitely did.
They all did. She laid in his arms for a few more minutes before walking over to the others. “They have to be around here, there’s no way.” But Y/N didn’t believe that. She accepted in her mind that she lost 2 friends. JJ and Sarah. JJ was a troublemaker and very reckless but she loved him. He was always after trouble and sure that was annoying but he was the best.
Sarah was smart and so beautiful. She accepted people and not based on what they were. Kook or Pogue. She was awesome and her best friend. Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought about them.  John B saw two people and he got the group's attention. Everyone gasped as they saw two people who from a distance looked like Sarah and JJ. “I’ll go check.” “I’ll come with.” Y/N said and they walked to see.
John B’s eyes lit up when he saw them and Y/N let out a sigh of relief. Sarah ran up to hug him and JJ gave Y/N a hug. “I thought you were dead.” She whispered. “I’m immortal.” He joked. They switched and Y/N hugged Sarah.
Rafe looked happy to see that she was alive. They all sat around the fire well sorta. Rafe was on the same side but facing the other way as the others talked. Y/N was holding his arm as they laughed.
“You know what would be a good baby name?” JJ asked. Y/N looked at Rafe confused. “JJ what?” She asked. Sarah was pregnant. “Sarah, you’re pregnant?” Y/N jumped up from the ground. Sarah nodded and Y/N ran over to hug her. “Congratulations!” She said. 
Getting separated from the others was not ideal but she wasn’t about to let Rafe get arrested. For once he didn’t do anything. “Are you okay?” She asked, grabbing his hand. He nodded and started walking the other way of where the pogues went.
“We are finding Groff.” He told her. “What about them?” She asked. “We’ll see them.” Though she was nervous that wouldn’t be the case. Groff wasn’t easy to find but she thought she would find herself stepping on the top of buildings and houses in a foreign country for anyone. Rafe and her had on “disguises” which were just fancy coats.
She felt rich with it thanks to Rafe. Y/N gasps as she sees the dude that was trying to kill her and her friends. She and Rafe had behind a sheet for a second until Rafe threw a punch at the guy. Groff notices him and Y/N could tell that he was nervous. He truly had no idea who he messed with. Y/N couldn’t help but feel super hot seeing Rafe beat the piss out the guy. “Let’s go.” He calls her and takes Groff. 
“You’re lying to me.” Rafe yells at him as he confronts him about the money. Y/N just watches and wishes she had some popcorn. Groff kept looking over at her. “Who’s this?” Groff asked and Rafe scuffed. He ignored the question and kept yelling at him.
Groff didn’t have the money. Though that wasn’t the surprising part. The surprising part was that Sophia (Rafe’s cousin) set him up. Sophia was staying at his place while he was gone and when he and Y/N came back he planned to buy her her own house.
That was no longer on the table and Rafe was pissed. Groff was being very cocky for someone who was about to fall. Literally in a well. Rafe was laughing like a maniac. Y/N leaned over the well and even chuckled herself. “You messed with the wrong guy.” She yelled to Groff. “You tell him baby.” Rafe laughed.
“Let’s get out of here.” He says as Groff is yelling his name. He had the map to the crown now and all they had to do was get it the pogues or at least that’s what Y/N thought was going to happen. “What are we doing?” She asked as Rafe opened the map. “We are finding the treasure.” He tells her. She glares at him, “Rafe, we have to get this map to my friends. You didn’t care about the treasure.” She points out.
He chuckles and looks at her, “yeah well my money is gone sweetheart. You are your friends can get a part of the money.” She wanted to take the map and run but realized what kind of man Rafe was and knew that wasn’t a good idea. “Rafe.” She warned. “I need you to help me read the map.” He tells her, ignoring her obvious anger towards him.
“Promise me that you aren’t going to take it and run.” She growls. He looks at her, “I promise you that you and your friends will get your part.” He says. She looks at him. Though they’ve had fun together these past few days, she’s well aware of what he is capable of. “If you’re lying to me and you take the money and run, you can kiss my ass goodbye and I’ll make sure to hunt you down.” He thinks he just fell in love with her.
They walked through the sand holding hands as she wore the pendant. He holds the map as the walks to the location. “Rafe.” She said and they look over to see a sand storm starting. “Holy fuck.” “We gotta move fast.” They didn’t get a chance to as they ended up being held at gunpoint. Y/N felt her stomach turn as she realized that there wasn’t a way out of this. They were fucked.
“That’s my brother and my best friend.” Sarah said and took the shot. Y/N screamed and Rafe took her hand and ran. The others followed. Rafe was about to shut the door before they all screamed at him to wait. Y/N laughed as she saw her friends. “You’re okay.” She breathed out and hugged Sarah. “Thank you for saving us.” She said. Rafe refused to give the map over.
“Rafe.” Y/N sternly said his name. “You’re gonna betray me just like everyone else in my life has.” He said to Sarah. Y/N saw him tear up. “Rafe no we won’t.” Y/N tried but he stepped away from her. Her jaw dropped. “Rafe…” “Dad would want us to work together.” Sarah said to him. Rafe always thought that Sarah got him killed but she finally told him. “It’s true Rafe. I was there.” Y/N told him, she had tears in her eyes. Sarah did as well.
“Rafe, I'm not going to betray you. Sarah isn’t either.” She walked up to him and cupped his face. “Rafe, I love you. You can trust me. I promise. And you trust Sarah too.” Rafe looked at her with tears streaming down his face. Sarah hugged him and he looked down lost in thought.
The look in his eyes was heartbreaking. “This is nice but we have to go.” Kie said. Rafe gives John B the map and Y/N takes the pendant and helps them. Rafe wasn’t any help other than complaining. “Heaven.” John B said as the other three paced trying to think. “John B hold up the map to the sky.” It was like they shared the idea. He did and she gasped. “Guys look.” He said and they all stared at the map. “What is that?” Rafe asked.
It was like luck was in their hands and they were near the crown. Y/N gasped. The crown was somewhere in the sand statue. They all ran as the same storm got worse. “You guys go back.” Kie said to John B and Sarah. Y/N watched as they ran away. Rafe pulled her along.
The storm was bad. JJ decided he would be the one to get the crown. Y/N gasped as the other people trying to get the crown started shooting at JJ. “I’ll go stop them.” Rafe said. “No.” Y/N grabbed him. “I can’t lose you.” “You won’t. I’ll be back. I love you.” He tells her. “Rafe, they will kill you.” Kie says. “I’m a killer too.” He said and ran off. Y/N was so nervous watching JJ and thinking about Rafe. Her and Kie yelling at JJ to hurry up.
JJ was screaming and yelling about the crown and hoped down to the girls. “Look.” He said and showed them. Kie and Y/N looked at each other and gasped. They had it. 
Y/N ran ahead of them to find Rafe. She yelled his name in hopes that he would hear and that he wasn’t hurt or dead. “Y/N.” He yelled back and she turned and gasped. He was okay! “You’re okay!” She said and he picked her up and kissed her. She smiled against his lips. Tears in her eyes. “I told you I would be.” He said. “I love you so much Rafe Cameron.” She said and nudged his nose with hers.
He set her down and kissed her again. “I need to ask you something.” He said and she nodded. “I haven’t felt this way about anyone and I haven’t been through half the shit we just went through with anyone.” She smiled at his words. He sank to one knee and her smile dropped as her jaw did. “I know this is crazy but so was everything we just went through so I need to know.” He pulled out a ring. Y/N felt tears in her eyes. “It’s my mothers ring.” He states. “Will you marry me?” She let out a sob and nodded.
“Yes.” She said and slid the ring on her finger. He stood up and kissed her. “I love you too Y/N Y/L/N.” He said. “We have to find the others.” She said and the ran in the way she came. Y/N felt so happy about everything. They got the crown and she was engaged to Rafe Cameron. The man she thought she would never fall for. Life was good.
She saw everyone crouched around something. Shoulders shaking. They walked over and she gasped. JJ. “No.” She said and got on the ground next to him. He wasn’t breathing. Tears streaming down her eyes and sobs racked through her body. Rafe fell to the ground to hold her. JJ Maybank, one of her best friends, was dead. 
Y/N watched as Rafe buried him. She couldn’t believe it. Everything was great for like 5 minutes. The crown was gone and so was JJ. Everyone sat around the fire, tears in their eyes as Rafe paced. “If that was my best friend, I would be out for blood.” Rafe said. “JJ wouldn’t sit here and sulk. He’d want to kill Groff.” Y/N said.
Sarah and Kie agreed. Rafe came and sat next to Y/N. He looked over at her and saw that look in her eyes. He knew it all too well. He, himself, has had that look in his eyes. It was the look of blood, the need and urge to kill. “Revenge.” Kie said. “For JJ.” Y/N growled.
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bomber-grl · 2 days ago
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Taking care of you when you’re sick 🤧
Pairing(s): Characters x Gn!sick!Reader (except for Reyna’s)
Character(s): Percy, Annabeth, Grover,Nico, Leo, Frank, Hazel, Jason, Piper, Reyna (platonic)
Me rn:
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Percy Jackson
Honestly great at it and it’s honestly not expected but also sort of expected
Hard to explain
But it’s likely that he just brings you back to the apartment he lives in with sally, Paul, and ofc Estelle because even though he sort of doesn’t want to admit it, he needs help
So (imagining you’re super sick) even if you’re a stubborn one, it’s too embarrassing to act up in front of Sally
Someone who is so caring that she makes soup just for you, checks in on you, gives you extra blankets in case, honestly anything really
This transformed more into a Sally taking care of you than Percy but I’m getting there
One day Sally has to go out for an errand and takes Estelle with her, Paul went off to work or something
Leaving you two alone and you basically a burden/j
Also… free to complain all you want
Now if you’re stubborn and make it difficult for him he will fr mock you
Literally why are you being this way when Estelle behaves way better
And she’s a baby
Eventually though, cmon now
Just be willing and maybe he’ll kiss you
As if he isn’t doing so while you doze off on your meds
I’d give him a solid 6/10, not because he’s not my fav character or anything
Of course not
Annabeth Chase
Ideal in theory not in practice
She knows everything there is to know- hell, if she didn’t after years of being a demigod and suffering from injuries then strike me down
Well- no actually I take that back
Annabeth doesn’t actually know a lot aside from when she gets sick
Which happens rarely and goes away as quick as it comes
So now she’s here with you all bundled up-
Also, if you try to be stubborn and act like a big baby, she’s having none of it
You will rest and you will eat to consume your meds
End of story
I don’t make the rules 😭
She will, however, be pleased if you’re happy to comply and get you back to good asap
Although she does bumble a bit at the start- she eventually learns quickly
Which is to be expected
When she first started to struggle with what do to she’s too prideful to ask for help so she settles on asking you how to do well by you
Then she realizes how stupid (or unwise) it was to act that way and decides to just ask any of the Apollo kids she knows won’t tease her
Which is more than half
Only because she knew you’d get worse
I’d give her a solid 7/10
It’s not any longer because she gets to business and gets you healed pretty quick so 🤷
Grover Underwood
I’d say he’s pretty decent at taking care of you too
I mean he probably knows a lot about herbs and stuff that could help you alongside modern medicine that you’re likely taking
Plus when you can’t sleep for whatever reason (*cough*cough* congestion*cough*) he’ll obviously put that humidifier on but also play you a song
Either to help with sleep or just make you feel better
Really depends
Also we all know he’s a saytr
So he’s likely taking care of you despite needing to be elsewhere
And if that duty calls quickly? He feels SO bad 😭 I’m not even exaggerating
He’ll apologize ten times over and try to make up for it
Instead of getting your sleep and rest it just results in you spending that time reassuring Grover
Which, in your opinion, is a time well spent
But not to Grover
Anyways if you’re reluctant to let him take care of you then he’s constantly hassling you to stay resting
Literally got to the point where campers would just see you running by, and see Grover not too behind
Or it’d be you sitting somewhere and Grover trying to convince you why going back would be a good idea
Now, if you’re more than happy to rest and take your medicine?
Absolute angel in Grover’s eyes
Literally makes his life 10000x easier
Him being him, he just ends up helping you heal and recover faster than you normally would’ve otherwise
So honestly? You can try to be stubborn all you want but it’s only going to make you suffer 😭
Not much for him but that’s because besides his nervous energy, he’s probably the best here in terms of actually helping you become unsick
Nico Di Angelo
He’ll try his best to help you out 😭
Which he does a pretty decent job at, all he does is rely on books and what he’s heard from others
So it’s time for Nico to rawdog helping you out because frankly, he’s always been the opposite of a normal person
So, why would he ever get sick?
(Bluds body temperature is probably colder than the Antarctic)
He does the basics like making you drink medicine for your symptoms (e.g. cough, sore throat) and making you soup to the best of his capabilities
If you’re the type of person to be whiny and like to be cared after then he’d sort of tease you for it in his strange little way
Now, if you’re super stubborn and insist on him not helping you-
He takes it personally
Like I’m not even joking
He’ll just side eye you
You’re acting like you weren’t just dying of suffocation before he put the humidifier on a few seconds ago
And he lets that known
So, he asks why you’re being so stubborn and let him spoon feed you‼️
(Only because you ended up being bundled in a blanket burrito and Nico didn’t want to go through putting you in one again afterwards)
Too much hassle
Also applies if you’re being stubborn and he has to forcibly feed you)
He’s honestly getting annoyed at this point so you give him a proposition
You’ll let him take care of you if he gives you cuddles
Now, normally Nico would be so done but he couldn’t resist
So now here you both are underneath the covers
But then Nico ruins it
“Yknow I was gonna cuddle you regardless” (of it you complied or not)
6/10 just for that last comment
(Doing an actual story, will link HERE)
Leo Valdez
Someone please help him
Nah just kidding
Leo is definitely way better with machines than with humans
That’s a fact
But he knew his mom long enough to know the basics of everything
I don’t make the rules, that woman definitely taught him everything there is to know
So here you are on the bed of your room as you hear Leo’s racket going on in the kitchen
Emmie and Jo went out and took a few residents with them, including one of your favorite residents:
Georgina
The ones that stayed behind were either asleep or bundled away under the covers of their beds
(Ignoring those doing chores)
Especially since it was now winter, despite the waystations warmth, a chill seemed to have made it way inside.
Eventually Leo makes his way back up and set down a tray
It had a soup you learned to become familiar with
It was Caldo de Res
So obviously you gobbled that shit up like all the other Mexican foods Leo had made before
Eventually Leo makes you take your medicine because even though he’s all about playing around and stuff, he still likes to care for you
Now, because it’s likely snowing, Leo had to resist and refuse to let you out
You’re already sick, it could get so much worse
But you didn’t listen
Hence you running around like a maniac outside the station yelling as Leo chases you
Afterwards he scolds you but when you point out that fact that he was laughing when he was chasing after you- he shuts up real quick
Leo does realize how boring it probably is for you though so after going back inside he tries to be a source of entertainment for you
He tries to find board games and he luckily does
Which ends with you two moving to the living room (?) or common area
By the time emmie and the other residents return, the tower you built while playing Jenga was sky high and skinny asf
Then Leo crashed it and you both obviously yelled at it
Then Leo got told off for distracting you from resting (although it was done kindly)
Later after dinner, Leo snuck into your room at night and once again began to try to rid you of your boredom
you two began giggling and gossiping in the middle of the night
Then went to bed when someone knocked as kindly asked for you two to quiet down
Leo was embarrassed 💀
Frank Zhang
Surprisingly good at taking care of you
Only saying it’s surprising because I’ve never considered it before
He obviously takes care of your basic needs like meds and just covers you needing anything else like rest or water
If you’re stubborn to actually try to get better- then he’s definitely worried but also confused
Why are you acting this way and also, please just let him help you
Which is honestly sad because even if he’d like to stay by your side for more than a few hours- he really isn’t able to due to praetor duties
I mean it’s a surprise you got a pass on your chores/ duties depending on what your role is
Will definitely feel terrible for having to leave to go do his job but eventually finds someone trusted to look after you
Likely someone indebted to him
(He’d feel a bit sorry for whoever it is if you’re particularly resistful)
Let’s say you actually get sick and there’s no outside forces that can interfere
Frank is a pretty top notch- although a bit anxious - doctor
Likely learned a lot about the healing aspect of Apollo back when being his kid was what Frank wanted most
So he knows a lot from that and is really attentive
After giving you some medicine you had seemingly been knocked out cold so it was natural for Frank to turn down the lights
Before he left the room he decided to give you a kiss on the cheek
You were actually still awake and despite your boyfriends more than accommodating care-
You will be teasing him tomorrow using this instance
Overall I’d give Frank a 9/10
‘He is the worlds most perfect man’
Hazel Levesque
Have you seen her lead the other Roman’s as praetor and even before then ? Yea she’s getting you bundled up and fed
No ifs or buts
This is how she is overall but if you try being stubborn she genuinely doesn’t see why you would be
Like why wouldn’t you want to get better??
Also please don’t sneak out to the weaponry or something because she literally CANT give you special treatment 😭
Despite her seemingly tough demeanor, she really is a fool for you
Not actually- but miss girl is smitten with you
So she sort of takes it easy, occasionally finding her voice and scolding you as lightly as she can
She tries her best to treat you but eventually gets advice and help from others in camp who know more than she does
She ofc knows the basics: consume vitamin c, rest, drink medicine, etc
But she can’t be too sure
I also honestly think she’s way better than Nico, because I didn’t include it but he definitely got some wayward damned spirit to help him out
But not her
Not that that’s bad, but she’s definitely more capable
I do think she bumbled a bit
She had ordered some other campers who specialized in healing to help her out
Before then, she had been taking care of you herself
So when they get there and see her sort of make shift stuff- she’s a bit embarrassed
Yknow, if the blush on her cheeks are anything to go by
Because we’ve already established that she’s better than Nico, I’ll give her a 8/10
Because she’s really good at taking care of you, really caring overall
But 🤷
Jason Grace
Best way to say how he is at taking care of you is mediocre
He isn’t constantly attentive but just the right amount that you feel like it’s enough
Esprit he’s busy with the school he’s attending- then he’ll have to sneak out just to see you and take care of you
If school isn’t in session then he’s more than happy to go over and take care of things for you
Like doing chores, cooking food and actually taking care of you
Doesn’t mind all that much if you try to resist being treated because it’s likely that he’s encountered people who are WAY worse
Ik this is him supposed to be taking care of you but I think it’d be so funny that you’re just constantly in and out of consciousness that you only remember small snippets
In which Jason has to fill in for you and all you remember is Jason in the distance
Pretty out of place but the idea of it is so funny to me 😭
Imagine being so kind and your s/o not remembering any of it
You’d still believe him though, why should you?
Also I said it’s mid but like mid leaning good so I’ll give him a 6/10
Not that he was terrible or anything but just because I feel like it suits him
Idk 😭
Piper Mcclean
THE BEST IM NOT EXAGGERATING
The medicine- eating- cooking part is alright
It isn’t much different from the others averages and not much to take note of in all honesty
But what is really the cherry on top is when after having a mind splitting headache- you’ve finally managed to fall asleep
Being a demigod and all- you immediately hear when Piper enters the room
Each creak the floor board gives continued until Piper has reached the end of the bed
Not that it’s disturbing you in anyway
So there you are snuggled in bed and you feel a weight added next to you where the bed is pushing down
You feel hands massaging your scalp and Piper -knowing how you’ve suffered with head pain- starts to sing for you
It isn’t unknown or unheard of to sing for someone to heal (demigod or non demigod wise)
So when you immediately start to feel better you can feel your would ascending into the heavens
Not actually- because that’d be the opposite affect of the singing but you get what I’m going for
Anyway aside from that she’s really attentive and sweet but I just had that idea come to me strongly idk why
Overall id rate her a 7/10
That’s because her singing is divine but her caring aspect is mediocre
Reyna Ramírez-Arellano x F!Reader (for the first half)
Literally legendary at taking care of you
Although she is a bit of a dictator when it comes to you being slippery and running off- it’s still pretty great
She was praetor for how long now? Yea a while so she was bound to have learned some things and after joing the hunters it’s only more reason to
Which if you’re a hunter and sick (only confusing but let’s go with it) you need to get your health back up to be in optimal fighting condition so theres literally no room for being stubborn
You need to get well soon and that’s an order basically
So Reyna will bundle you up, (though seeing as you’re more than happy to be cooperative) its only done to make you warm
(Gn! Reader but still platonic)
Now if this is while Reyna is praetor then she’s still enforced this strict persona
And seeing as she’s here taking care of you-
That’s only more reason to
Unfortunately she won’t really have time (seeing that being praetor is really unsustainable long term with the loss of sleep and sleep schedule changes)
But when she does her presence is soothing and likely the only reason you were able to actually get well pretty fast
I don’t have much besides she knows what she’s doing (likely has gotten stupid colds form stress) and is really serious about it
Would give her a 9.5/10 but I’ll change it to a 10/10 because of how fast you recover
-
A/n: req was originally only asking for Nico but I said why not do the other 9
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frances-baby-houseman · 2 days ago
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ok instead of writing anything I would like to share this very meaningful letter from the clergy at my temple, lightly edited for privacy. I think many of us could find comfort in the Jewish ideals of tikkun olam right now.
Friends,
In the days to come there will be many articles, podcasts, and books analyzing Tuesday's election.  How things happened and what it means will be dissected in every possible way.  As spiritual leaders we are not asked to be pundits, but looking through a Jewish lens, our goals remain the same today as they were yesterday and as they will be in the future.
No matter who sits in the Oval Office, our tradition teaches us to work for peace and justice. We are commanded to love the stranger, our neighbor, and all those in need.  In our lives every administration has needed us to speak up and work for positive change.  In that real and important sense today is just like any other day, and even if the election had gone differently, we would still be gearing up to make a change for the better.  In American terms we call that making “a more perfect union.”
In half of our country there is sadness, the other half is feeling satisfaction.  In any case let us not lose sight of the ultimate goal that God sets before all of us.  We know that we can all be stronger where our broken places are repaired.  There are broken places in our hearts, within our families, and across our natiion.
So, take a deep breath, a cleansing breath, take a step back if you need to, and then return to the awesome task before us to transform and repair the world.  In the Torah this week, Abraham begins his journey.  He leaves his home and heads toward the unknown.  In truth every day when we wake up, we start a journey anew.  Some things stay familiar but others change and we keep moving forward with a vision of compassion and hope.
As always, our clergy team is here to help, so please reach out personally, or come to services, Coffee with the Clergy or any other event, because the best way through is together.
With Shalom--
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withthewindinherfootsteps · 5 months ago
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…What’s this?? WWX not being a self-sacrificial idiot??
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It’s almost like… that isn’t a personality trait…
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undead-moth · 4 months ago
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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sskk-manifesto · 4 months ago
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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raskies456 · 1 month ago
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GRE today…..
#456 words#it’s optional for most things I’m applying to but. my grades are not amazing for the level I’m applying#so in my case taking the gre is a good idea if I can do really well#which#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#we will see#I did a practice test and sone practice problems and such and I do fine#but I would like a higher percentile in quantitative than my practices have projected#hopefully having practiced and being in a proper test environment will help push it up a few more points#also it’s like. 50/50 rn on whether I can finish the essay in 30 mins#ive gotten it closer each time I practice but#woof. hard to cleanly articulate a point you don’t know ahead of time in 30 mins#but yeah ideally I do well enough that I can send scores and they will help rather than harm#that’s all I ask. I could maybe take it again but would rather not have to spend another 250#we shall see#at least it’s not the time I took the mcat w only 2 weeks prep#and its also not the mcat#mcat has No fucking reason to be that long#that’s not a cognitive test or a content test it is an endurance test#I know gre used to be longer (like 4 hours?????) but. still#mcat was like 7 iirc#GRE is 2 hours which is a normal fucking amount of time for a test methinks#though ngl it’s a bitch that the hardest sections are at the end#well I guess that’s. a good sign actually????#bc iirc it modulates what you get on the last two sections based on your earlier performance#so the fact it gets harder means I’m doing well early on#but still………..#anyway I’m rambling#pre test thoughts I guess#don’t expect anyone to read this really and if you did sorry this is. probably entirely uninteresting
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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 10 months ago
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#just saw someone suggesting that ''everything being a disorder today'' stems from wanting a scientific explanation as to why theyre#different from everyone else and that desire itself stems at least partly from neoliberalism and individualism and wanting to be special#and buying into the facades of neoliberalism#and i get what theyre trying to say#but#my guy#your explanation was in context of things like chronic pain disorders and d/Deafness and autism and allergies#which most definitely do not stem from that. like i would still be autistic and still have chronic pain if i was not in a neoliberal society#neoliberal ideals are not the cause of my functional neurological disorder#neoliberalism isnt causing my peripheral nervous system to not work properly#i understand the argument youre trying to make and it definitely applies in some cases#but do not come into disabled spaces sprouting that shite#you know why i seeked a diagnosis for my chronic pain issues? because different chronic pain disorders can be treated differently#theres no point giving ne anti inflammatory meds for my fibromyalgia#and actually i do need the meds i take for my fnd because they reduce my nerve pain enough for me to function as a person#i didnt want a name for it so i could certify that i was an individual and not like everyone else#i wanted a name for it because i was in pain and i was suffering and i wanted medical treatment for it and i wanted an explanation as to why#i was in pain all the damn time
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jankillbride · 4 months ago
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wip - got that 1939 groove
#this is not accurate to 1939 in the slightest :thumbsup:#jkb.sketch#tagging is for organizational purposes#sorry if this shows up in the main tags#dc#bruce wayne#anyways ideal gotham relationship chart -- all relationships are fucked#this is mainly inspired by why the fuck does jim gordon let bruce wayne go onto so many active crime scenes#answer: in response to failing to find his parents murderers (it was jim's first case) jimmy feel real bad and tries to help bruce out wher#he can. which means his office is now dissociation central for brucie and crime scenes are about the only thing that seems to pique his#attention.#kinda obsessed with the fact that no one is raised by the person they should've been raised by. which is why i will endeavor to make alfred#not take care of bruce once alfred shows up#but jim taking care of bruce -> bruce taking care of dick -> dick taking care of damian#jason taking care of his parents -> jason dying so bruce can't really take care of him -> jason being a technical adult when he comes back#so 'no more raising' (would be fun to do an alfred-bruce parallel there but idk alfred)#and tim? dont know enough about him but his parents not taking care of him -> him taking care of batman. ooo inverse of jason then. anyways#tim from what i understand actively makes it so he can't be taken care of#eye... do not know enough about the girls unfortunately. at least not in this aspect of their character. i will read them when they come#duke i also dont know enough about but i assume it's kinda a similar thing where his parents can't take care of him anymore. also i think#bruce is like a 'mentor' to him but i will reject that notion
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designernishiki · 1 year ago
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I will maybe make a bigger post at some point about other characters’ dnd classes but. thought about it. kiryu would be a battlemaster fighter multiclassed into oath of vengeance paladin. end of statement
#as much as I can see barbarian in certain ways he’s not actually very… well barbaric. he certainly could have the rage aspects#and barbarian Can come with some strong moral codes/ideals/etc depending on the subclass#but I think all-around vengeance paladin matches better imo. the mix of tradition/straightforwardness with his personal strong morals/ideals#that often Result in attonement through violence in one way or another- and the fact that it’s an Oath. in his case not to a patron deity so#much as an intense code he’s imposed on himself. it just makes a lot of sense to me#battlemaster prior to fully developing that complex- straightforward but more adaptable than something like champion#based around techniques and manuevers picked up from training and just fighting wherever and whenever#and makes sense to me that he’d have second wind for sure#hm. I guess one way of putting it is there’s an inherent sense of self discipline that comes with paladin (exception of oathbreaker for#obvious reasons) and kiryu takes on that self discipline complex pretty hard probbbabbly after kiwami 1 or 2.#rambling#kiryu#I think saejima’s a good example of a barbarian (totem warrior specifically). he’s got ideals based in wisdom learned from the world around#him and lived experiences and etc. but it doesn’t feel like a code he has to abide by or a list of commandments for himself#I know I said I wasn’t gonna talk about other characters in this post but I just. have to mention. the other character im pretty solid on#is akiyama. who’d be a bard of whispers / drunken fist monk. which is a WILD and probably very fun to play combo#his charisma and dex would be insane. int and wis also very good. strength meh to bad. but by god his con would be atrocious#kiryu’s like the polar opposite almost. charisma atrocious. int/wis not good. strength and con insanely good. (dex pretty alright tho)#anyway I should stop
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koipalm · 2 years ago
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theoretically i wld want people to ask me about my tma x 1899 crossover.. but that would mean that i would have to TELL people the things that happen... without being able to SHOW them.... in real time....
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giantkillerjack · 3 months ago
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I've said it before and I'll say it again:
If you are disabled and you need to lie to get the accommodations you need or to escape ableist social harassment, then it is not just morally acceptable to lie in that scenario, it is morally GOOD.
I say this with no irony or satire whatsoever (unlike the original post, which is very much meant to be sarcastic).
Abled people are always trying to be the "hero" who finds the "fakers," as though "fakers" are actually a concern for disabled people. - When instead I don't know a single disabled person who hasn't been denied the care they need by being called a faker on multiple occasions. That's what we ACTUALLY live in fear of.
(Also, notably, finding the "faker" is not actually about protecting disabled people for these self-appointed "heroes". It's actually about finding an ego-boosting outlet for personal aggression and frustration. They don't care that the government has the funding to care for all of us and yet refuses. They just want to pretend this isn't about them, and are using other disabled people as a moral shield.)
Besides, every person I've met who is actually LYING about their disability has done so not because they are faking being disabled (for all the AWESOME benefits that DEFINITELY exist - ????), but because their ACTUAL disability is not taken seriously by the gatekeepers who can deny them the help they need.
Lying in this scenario protects a disabled person from stigma, injury, pain, death, and/or social neglect. This is a moral good. Lying to protect people from abuse is good, yourself included.
You shouldn't get a wheelchair, walker, cane, shower chair, or any kind of assistive technology mobility aid because then you might become dependent on them. Just like how you also shouldn't get glasses if you have bad eyesight because then you might become dependent on those.
For instance, if you end up stuck using corrective eyewear, you could actually lose your ability to tell what things are even when they are extremely blurry! You need to get used to having migraines from seeing unclearly because if you wear glasses all the time, you are basically giving up!! You don't need to see things coming at you from far away! You just need to get good at dodging, and if you can't, then you have no one to blame but yourself!!
For example, I read a really heart-worming article recently about a girl who was stuck using glasses - just absolutely, tragically trapped in her eyewear from dawn to dusk, even though she was good and never ever complained; and I heard she trained herself to discern the blurry faces of her loved ones with 60% accuracy! - she was even able to walk down the aisle at her wedding WITHOUT forcing the discomfort of seeing a woman in glasses on all her guests!!
Sure, she had to give her vows with a splitting headache, and she couldn't see her husband's expression when he said "I do," but overall, SO inspi-ration-al!!! So up-lifting!!
(She didn't even have to use a seeing eye cane, which would have been the worst-case scenario, obviously, because she worked hard to make sure she looked LESS disabled, not MORE disabled!!! Everyone knows blind people exist solely to be a cautionary tale to sighted people!!)
Also, did you know some people get glasses when they only need them a little bit?? How selfish of them! Sure, there's not a shortage, and an increase in demand would result in overall increased accessibility to glasses--but emotionally it's like taking glasses away from someone who needs them more! After all, if everyone who needed glasses got them, then...... um...... more people would have glasses! Which is probably bad!!!!
I also had a friend who was trapped in glasses who saved up all her money for laser eye surgery, and I don't know why everyone doesn't just do that! Sure, some doctors say some people don't "qualify" and it "won't help" those people, but that's why you can't give up!! You don't want to be one of those people!
After all, what's the worse thing that could happen with an unnecessary laser surgery to the face that comes with crippling debt??? It's worth the risk to gain your FREEDOM back, and I'm so proud of my friend!!
Tragically, she did die later that year while driving Uber and squinting at street signs, but at least now I know my friend is finally free from the shackles of her terrible eyesight. #ripAshley #rippedAshley #justripit 😌😌😌❤😇😇😇
And that's why you shouldn't get used to using a mobility aid!! Because, like glasses, they are inherently embarrassing to be seen with; and - like glasses - it is more noble to silently suffer than to depend on unnatural technologies that force you to rely on them!!! (Besides, everyone else will be SO much more comfortable if you look normal!)
I hope you learned something today. 💖
#original#disability#ref#might just make a separate post about this but here you go#autistic meltdowns can cause me serious nerve damage and trauma and if i have enough of them in close enough succession... death#but people don't understand that. they think it is a child's tantrum most of the time.#so i call them seizures. because functionally that's what they are. and as long as i can communicate well enough to make sure#no dumbass tries to shove a wallet in my mouth - which DOES NOT HELP SEIZURES in any case btw - then i say it's a seizure#people are nicer and more helpful and more accommodating all around. saying 'if this happens i can have a meltdown'#involves a huge amount of risk and effort for them to understand. but 'i could have a seizure' - suddenly they DO have accommodation for me#fancy that!!#if your professor is gonna be a judgy ableist bitch about you missing class from a ptsd episode (or if you don't know how they'll react)#then tell them you have the flu. no questions get asked. they don't want the flu. they'll tell YOU to stay home!#and if they are ableist then they won't secretly think you're crazy or being dramatic and weak!#I used to feel really bad about the fact that I would do that. but now I recognize that it was really smart actually and in fact good.#if someone said i can't treat your broken leg unless you also have gastrointestinal distress#then baby you better tell them you got a stomach ache#if you can only walk 20 feet but you are denied a wheelchair if you can walk more than 15 feet... no you can't.#if the fire department won't believe your house is on fire unless you say you can smell the fires of Mount Doom specifically then#by god you are Frodo with the One Ring. whatever it takes not to die in this fire.#and you don't have to feel guilty about it either. you're not the one withholding firefighting services from people with burning houses#they have enough time and money to put out all the fires in the town. they just don't want to. that's not your fault.#if the fire dept told you they'll only put out the fire in your house if it is an electrical fire then don't tell them about the grease fir#like in an ideal world we would all be totally honest all the time but in this world if your disease doesn't have the right code in#Aetna's system then they'll leave you to die idk what to tell you.#protect yourselves. protect each other. break rules. be punk.#cripplepunk#for legal reasons i am clarifying that i have never lied to an insurance company.
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iamthedukeofurl · 6 months ago
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Discworld is an interesting beast in the age of ACAB. Like, the city watch books are a story about police and the way in which a good police force can help and protect people. Which would make it copoganda. And I'm not going to say that the City Watch books are completely free of copoganda, but they also do something interesting that fairly few stories about heroic police officers do, and I think it has a lot to do with Samuel Vimes. A lot of copoganda stories like, say, Brooklyn 99, are perfectly capable of portraying cops as cruel, bigoted, and greedy, but our central cast of characters are portrayed as good people who want to help their communities. The result is that the bad cops are portrayed as an aberration, while most cops can be assumed to be good people doing a tough job because they want to help protect people from the nebulous evil forces of "Crime". The police are considered to be naturally heroic. Pratchett does something very interesting, which is provide us with Vimes' perspective, and present us with an Unnaturally heroic police force. In Ahnk-Morpork, the natural state of the watch is a gang with extra paperwork. It's the place for people who, at best, just want a steady paycheck and at worst want an excuse to hit people with a truncheon. Rather than be an army defending people from the forces of Crime, the Watch is described as a sort of sleight-of-hand, big burly watchmen in shiny uniforms don't stand around in-case a Crime happens in their vicinity, they stand around to remind people that The Law exists and has teeth. The Watchmen are people, when danger rears it's head, their instinct is to hide and get out of the way. When faced with authority, their instinct is to bow to it out of fear of what it might do to them if they don't. Carrot is a genuine Hero, but his natural heroism is presented as an aberration. Normal Cops don't act like Carrot does. The fact that the Watch ends up acting like a Heroic Police Force is largely due to the leadership of Sam Vimes, but Vimes himself is a microcosm of the Watch. The base state of Sam Vimes would be an alchoholic bully of an officer, one who beats people until they confess to anything because that makes his job easier. Vimes The Hero is a homunculous, an artificial being created by Sam Vimes fighting back all those instincts and FORCING himself to behave as his conscience dictates. Vimes doesn't take bribes or let his officers do the same because, damnit, that sort of thing shouldn't happen, even if doing so would make things a lot easier. Vimes doesn't run towards sounds of screaming because he WANTS to, he forces himself to do so because somebody needs to. It's best summed up in Thud “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Your Grace.” “I know that one,” said Vimes. “Who watches the watchmen? Me, Mr. Pessimal.” “Ah, but who watches you, Your Grace?” said the inspector with a brief little smile. “I do that, too. All the time,” said Vimes. “Believe me.”
In the hands of another writer, or another series, this exchange would be weirdly dismissive. To whom should the police be accountable to? Themselves, shut up and trust us. But from Vimes, it's a different story. Vimes DOES constantly watch himself, and he doesn't trust that bastard, he's known him his entire life. The Heroic Police are not a natural state, they're an ideal, and ahnk-morpork only gets anywhere close. Vimes is constantly struggling against his own instincts to take shortcuts, to let things slide, but he forces himself to live up to that ideal and the Watch follows his example. Discworld doesn't propose any solutions to the problems with policing in the real world. We don't have a Sam Vimes to run the NYPD and force them to behave. We don't have a Carrot Ironfounderson. But it's at least a story about detectives and police that I can read without feeling like I'm being sold propaganda about the Thin Blue Line.
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irndad · 2 months ago
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don't date coworkers- s.r.
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a/n: i literally wrote this very fast and also i hope you like it pls go easy on me!!! reader has a policy they don't date coworkers. spencer is so angsty abt that !! also sorry for dropping a new fic at 2am LOL wc: 1.7k
She’s really, really good at talking to people. 
It’s one of the many traits Spencer adores about her. She moves through crowds with ease, and she can charm her way into any piece of information from whatever city cop they need a favor from. She integrated into the team faster than anyone could’ve expected. This is a strength not all profilers have- they know what it takes to know what makes someone appealing, but rare is the ability to be as charismatic and charming as she is. 
She’s good at talking to him.
She’s worked at the BAU for about a year now. 13 months, 7 days and 8 hours since she walked through the doors of the bullpen for the first time, beaming at him for the very first time. Give or take. 
Spencer wouldn’t be surprised if everyone knew that he was in love with her. He’s halfway certain she does, and is being too polite to mention it. Normally, Spencer is incredibly regimented about boundaries. While the BAU is his family, and there’s no real way to deny that, he knows that he’s less than ideal to go out with. He’s stocky and he never cuts his hair (even though she swears it’s cute longer) and he’s an awkward guy- gangly and tall and just ill-fitting to be part of the scenery of her life. 
It’s a Friday, and a rainy one at that. It’s one of the blessed ones where they don’t really have a case, just paperwork to catch up on, reports and her desk faces a window. 
Normally, when Spencer gets his work done (a good four hours before everyone else on a paperwork-only day), he’d head out. Catch up on whatever Russian novel he’s been chipping away at- but she’s here, and he’s made her favorite tea. 
“I thought you could use a treat,” he says, walking over to her desk. She looks up at him, brushing overgrown bangs, “It’s not really a great one, but I’ll get you some scones on the way to mine, yeah?”
She looks up at him, dropping her pen and focusing entire energy on him. He feels a bit overwhelmed, like an ant under a magnifying glass. 
“Did you know that I adore you, Spence?” 
He is very much not aware. No amount of her saying it will ever make him know. She takes a long sip from the mug. He knows how much honey she likes in it. He studies how she looks, eyes closed serenely, completely invested in what he’s given her. 
“You’ll be taking her home, pretty boy?” Morgan snickers, in a not altogether unkind manner. 
“Fuck off,” she says kindly, not taking her eyes off of Spencer as she rebuffed Morgan’s teasing. 
“Easy, easy,” Morgan laughs, “I’ll leave your boyfriend alone.”
If she has anything to say to that, it doesn’t come out then. 
He’s still bright red, though. Morgan is amused, and Spencer knows that she really, truly adores Morgan. Spencer loves him too, but it would be nice if he laid off the jokes. 
She doesn’t date coworkers. 
He knows this because of the first time they’d met, when he’d been walking in carrying a croissant for Garcia and a coffee for JJ, and saw what can only be described as a truly ridiculously beautiful woman in the bullpen. 
She’d been leaned back, smiling openly as Morgan tossed some random pick-up line towards her. He remembers it now like he can still hear it, her lilting lovely voice carrying just the right amount of warmth to make this not sting, or at least sting as little as possible. 
“I’m sorry, Derek,” she had said, “I make it a point not to date coworkers.” 
Which of course is fine. She can date whoever she wants, and it’s a good policy to have personally. And Spencer’s never really be the kind of guy who excelled at getting dates. He knew from the first minute that he saw her that even if she didn’t think that way… well, it wouldn’t be him, who she picked. 
Now, they are very close. So close that she drives him home from work every Friday. Which usually includes staying at his shitty apartment and watching VHS tapes of documentaries and Doctor Who. 
He wants to kiss her every Friday. All, the time, really. It’s kind of plaguing him. Clearly, she likes hanging out with him. Something about him is appealing. It’s foolish to assume that it’s more than friends, especially for someone like him to be with someone like her. 
She doesn’t date coworkers. 
“I made sure the film tonight has subtitles!”
“Are you saying film because this film is foreign, Spence?”
“I promise it’s worth it!” He says excitedly, “And they’re really done well. You won’t have to have me whisper the translations to you in real time!”
“I didn’t mind that,” She laughs then, a real laugh, “but I’m glad we’re getting to hang out tonight.”
It’s funny- they’ve done this so, so many times, but he never stops being thrilled. 
___________________________________
Sometimes, when the summer air is forgiving enough, they walk home from the office. She takes the train in, and they walk back to his place. Tonight is one of these nights, and god- she looks lovely. She’s tied her blazer around her waist, and the sunset hits her face in that gorgeous baroque painting kind of way. 
“You’re very pretty,” he hears himself say before he can stop it. He’s endlessly pleased when she preens at the praise. 
“You’re not so bad yourself, Doctor,” she says, shoving her hands into her pockets, a nervous gesture. He wants to hold those hand, intertwine her lovely delicate fingers with his bony wispy fingers. 
“You’re being nice to me,” he says, looking down at his shoes. They’re stupid. He should wear loafers, or some other shoe that doesn’t make him like half-child half-geek. 
“I’m being accurate, actually,” she says she bumps his shoulder. 
She’d be a wonderful girlfriend. He lives in the world this can happen quite often, in his fantasy. She laughs at his jokes and tells him he’s kind, and good, and she means it. He’s lucky to have this much of her- more than anyone else on the team! Spencer knows he’s her favorite. The way she’s looking at him now, how she give-up her Fridays to spend with him, on his ratty couch, how she always listens. Whenever they're both on the jet and he falls asleep, he always wakes up with a blanket on him. She's so good at loving people.
Being her favorite on the team does not mean he’s in the running to be a boyfriend. But he’d fucking want to be. He’d be a good boyfriend. Spencer, he’s gone so far for her. He fantasizes about getting her flowers that have symbolic meaning.
“Are you okay, boy-genius?”
“I’m better than okay. Do you want popcorn?”
She wants popcorn. He sets the movie up, and she gets comfortable on his couch, curling up with his purple felt blanket, and his mind betrays him with unhelpful images of what it might look like if she was his, if this is what he came home to. 
Don't picture welcome home kisses, or movie nights or being wanted. Don't.
It’s very, very hard to focus on the movie.  
She’s touchy, with him. He’s not sure if it’s because she could never see him as her boyfriend, but he’s grateful as she leans her head on his. She smells like peonies. When the credits roll, they stay like that for minute- her head on his shoulder and one of her legs thrown over his. 
He wonders, not for the first time, if she feels the same way about him. If things were just..different, then they’d be kissing under the haze of his TV right now, if he’d know what that chapstick she carries with her every day tastes like. 
“Do you ever wonder what it’d be like if we met under different circumstances?” he says, once time passes and he speaks instead of thinking.
“Hmm?” She hummed, relaxed eyes flitting their gaze over to him.
“Like, at a bar or something.”
“But you hate bars.”
“That’s why I said or something!”
Her lip juts out adorably, “But then I wouldn’t get to see you in your element.”
“Yeah,” he sighs, resting his neck on the top of the cushion. The AC is a little too much in the room. He wonders if she’s cold. “But who knows. Maybe we’d date, or something.”
It’s the dumbest thing he’s ever fucking said. Both because it was a dumb way to say it, but because it was an advance. He feels white hot shame lick at his spine when he looks at her, and hears her laugh. 
“I don’t think so, Spence.” 
“No,” shitshitshit, “I didn’t mean-“
“I mean, if you don’t want to date me now, I don’t think meeting at like, Whole Foods would’ve been the difference maker.”
It’s then he hears it- the piece he couldn’t place in her voice, when she gets like this. It’s being resigned. 
“What are you talking about?”
“C’mon, Spence,” she says, another bitter chuckle coming through, “You know how I feel. I haven’t exactly beens subtle.”
“But you don’t date coworkers. You have a rule.”
She looks at him with no recognition of what he’s saying. 
“No, because you told Morgan that, it’s the first thing I ever heard you say.”
“Yeah, but-“
“And yes, okay, you’ve been my favorite person almost as long as I’ve known you and yes, I would fucking love for you to be my girlfriend, but that was your rule!”
“You want me to be your girlfriend?”
“Obviously!”
He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else before, well- before she’s kissing him. More aggressive than that, really. Crawled onto his lap, arms around his neck, and where she leads Spencer is all too happy to follow. His body is not great at moving on instinct, but his whole nervous system feels alive- the weight of her in his lap, the feel of her waist under his fingers, the way he’s allowed this. It feels like such a pleasure, hedonistic in a way he’s never, ever been allowed to experience.
“You had a rule,” he says dumbly when she pulls away. His lips are wet. He’d like to go back to kissing, thank you very much. 
“You’re the exception, to every rule, Spencer.”
When he kisses her again (which he’s allowed to do now, holy fuck) Spencer decides he’s going to spend the rest of all time earning that status. 
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miraculouslbcnreactions · 2 months ago
Note
Since you've mentioned Scarlet Lady in one of your posts, what's your opinion on it?
I've mentioned before that I'm a big Scarlet Lady fan, which is the only reason that I'm comfortable answering asks like this one. I don't publicly criticize the content of hobby creators. That's wildly inappropriate! Punch up, not down.
The linked post was a general discussion of the adaptation process and how @zoe-oneesama did a fantastic job, so for this one, I'm just going to do some general gushing because I do actually like praising and enjoying things!
Scarlet Lady's chosen format (comic) allows it to have this wonderful conversation with canon where it can rely on the framework of canon to tell it's own story while also using canon for jokes and meta commentary. This means that Scarlet Lady is about as close as fan content can get to a direct reboot because it's able to have moments like this one from the comic's first post:
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[Image description: Adrien standing in his room after transforming into Chat Noir for the first time. He is beaming and his eyes are shining with excitement as he exclaims, "This is gonna be awesome!"]
A single picture that communicates everything we need to know about Adrien getting his miraculous. When I've done this same thing in fanfic, I had to write out the full scene because that's how novels work. You have to give the full picture. With a comic, you can just quickly acknowledge this thing that we all already know and then move on to the new stuff. A picture really is worth a thousand words! (Or, in my case, more like two thousand...)
This allows Zoe to keep the same akumas that we get in canon without her story feeling like a boring rehash because she can focus on what's different in her version. A novelization of the same content would have to show both the stuff that stays the same and the stuff that changes for it to be coherent. That's a lot less fun to read and write. It's why I basically never revisit canon akumas in my own stuff. It's just too derivative for the written word.
This is one of the big reasons that I loved Scarlet Lady. Because it was able to have that more directly conversation with canon, it was able to take canon and say, "hey, why don't we embrace the tone that you established in season one and retell the story with that vibe?" That's something that I desperately wanted to see, but that is totally unsuited to my chosen artistic form. It couldn't be a novel. It had to be a comic.
If you want to know what a true formula show version of Miraculous would look like, Scarlet Lady is it. It does everything that Miraculous should have done:
Sticks to a lighthearted tone where nothing is ever super serious
Keeps Gabriel entirely unsympathetic
Has slow character development and background hints at a bigger plot as the only serial elements, allowing the individual episodes to be their own story while never feeling incomplete or rushed
Allows characters other than Marinette to shine while keeping Marinette as the clear main character
Makes Adrien narratively important
MAKES THE LOVE SQUARE CUTE SO I CAN ACTUALLY SHIP IT
Understands that Lila and Chloe can't coexist as antagonists
Reverses the love square, which is the best way to tell their story. Yes, I will die on my "love diamond" hill. It's a good hill. Come join me. I'll bring cookies.
I could keep going, but you hopefully get my point. While Scarlet Lady is certainly not the only way to do a formula version of canon, it's proof that a formula version does work! You don't have to go the serious route for Miraculous to be successful.
I want to take some time to gush about the ending, but I don't want to spoil it, so I'll put that gushing under a "read more" in case anyone hasn't seen it. I'll finish out this less spoilerish section with this:
I feel like some people are surprised when they learn that I love Scarlet Lady because - as some of you have probably picked up - it is quite different from my ideal version of canon. I'm not sure why that would stop me from enjoying a thing, though. It's important to remember that our personal ideals are not the only way to tell a good story. There are lots of ways to take what canon gave us and make something wonderful! It's part of the reason that I enjoy being in a fandom.
If I only wanted to see my ideal take on canon, then I'd stick to writing/imagining my own stories. But I don't want that! I like seeing alternate takes, too. Scarlet Lady is one of my personal favorites. It's completely different from anything that I'd ever think to write and that's why I'm so glad that it exists! I like being entertained just as much as I like creating my own entertainment and I don't want to only read stories that look like something I'd write. That's boring!
Spoilers below:
I've mentioned before that there are many, many ways to properly handle Chloe's character and Zoe did such a good job with her take on that! Chloe isn't absolved of all the things she did wrong, but she's also treated as a young woman with the ability to change.
While the comic bares the name of Chloe's alter ego, she was the never the main character. She never went on a journey. The story kept her to her shallow season-one self: a petty brat who just wanted attention. It did this because that's who Chloe was in canon and who Chloe needed to be for the comic to work.
The first time we see any complexity from Chloe is in the comic's final few episodes, which was absolutely the right call for Zoe to make! In a recent post, I talked about how the end of a formula show is the only time when you can break the formula in catastrophic ways and that's what Zoe did. She kept Chloe static until it was time to end the story and that's when the formula breaks. That's when Chloe gets depth because, once she has depth, the formula doesn't work.
That depth is not used to redeem Chloe, but to show us that there's hope for Chloe. That this petty brat who we've been dealing with has some serious issues and needs help. Help that she's going to get far away from the people that she's hurt because her issues aren't an excuse for what she's done. They don't erase the harm that she caused. At the same time, understanding her issues makes us hope that she can be better now and Scarlet Lady took a moment to give us that hope. To show us the START of Chloe's true story.
That is the kind of ending that I have wanted to see in so many properties!!! It was so wonderful to finally get one that did this right. A story that understood that full redemption to the team and damnation to death/suffering are extremes on a scale of possibilities. You don't have to go to extremes! You can fall in the middle and the middle is a perfect, natural place for Chloe to land in this kind of story. Fully redeeming or even fully damning Chloe simply doesn't work in lighthearted formula content. It's too big a lift as canon has already demonstrated.
I also loved Zoe's take on Emilie. I've mentioned that I don't like evil Emilie in part because it makes her revival feel like the start of a new story. She's back and she'd bad, so we have to take her down now! But I don't want that. I want the story to end when Gabriel is stopped. Zoe does this by giving us an Emilie that is another perfect middle ground. She matches canon's uncomfortable implications without feeling like a true villain who is a threat to society.
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waywardxrhea · 3 months ago
Text
Casual - Spencer Reid
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for the CM friends with benefits challenge by @imagining-in-the-margins <3
pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader (no use of y/n)
You thought that your sexcapades with Spencer Reid had meant more to him like they did to you, but after a couple of run ins with his BAU teammates you learn that he really meant 'no attachments.'
word count: just over 5k
content: smut (this is sinful whoops) MINORS DNI - 18+ ONLY: oral (fem receiving), public (ish) sexual acts, unprotected PIV, established FWB situation, drinking (just to the point of being tipsy, consent is still given), language, anxiety, angst.
dividers by @firefly-graphics
now playing: casual by chappell roan
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“You finally made it!” your friend Maddie exclaimed gleefully as you walked into the latest bar that she had decided your small group of friends should try out that evening. 
Maddie’s girlfriend Celeste elbowed you gently in the ribs before teasingly asking, “Were you hooking up with Mr. FBI agent again?”
“That’d be, what? The fourth time this month?” Adrianna asked, a slight slur already in her words. She threw an arm around your shoulders and winked exaggeratedly before adding, “And it’s only the fifteenth! Get it girl!” 
“Ha ha, very funny, let’s all gang up on the girl with the best sex life here,” you joked, forcing a smile onto your lips despite the pang of hurt that shot through your gut at the comments. You grabbed a drink menu off the bar’s counter before heading back to your group’s claimed table for the evening, telling your friends, “I actually picked up an extra shift which is why I’m late and Doctor FBI agent is out of state on a case.”
“Awe, she knows when he’s out on a case, how sweet!” Celeste teased before winking and taking a sip of her brightly colored drink. 
“You three are impossible!” you said with a roll of your eyes as you stood up from your spot once more to escape the conversation and order your drink at the bar - a raspberry frozen margarita with sugar rim. Luckily when you got back to the table with your drink, the conversation had turned to Maddie discussing the latest drama at her job, so you sat back and relaxed as you sipped on your first drink of the night. 
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“I can’t believe we finished all that paperwork in time to actually go out tonight,” Derek Morgan said as he stretched his arms, stepping out of his car and into the crisp evening air as he once more met up with the other BAU members at a bar the group gravitated toward when they had time to celebrate wins on cases. 
“Realistically it would have been nearly impossible for us to not get our work done in a timely manner. We got back from the case at ten AM and were all well rested after the flight, so our brains were all in ideal condition to finish the paperwork on time, even accounting for some delays in productivity due to jet lag,” Spencer Reid rambled off as they all walked into the bar, offering a small smile as some of his teammates rolled their eyes playfully in response. 
“Well all I know is that I’m getting a bottle of wine to celebrate wrapping that case,” Emily Prentiss commented as she dug through her purse. 
“What about you, pretty boy? Planning on drinking tonight?” Derek asked as he gently shoulder checked the younger man. 
“Just water,” Spencer replied. “Did you know that during long plane rides you can easily get dehydrated? The humidity within the cabin is usually around ten to twenty percent which is lower than the usual thirty to sixty percent that our bodies are used to. The lower level of humidity causes water to be drawn out of the body and the thirst reflex is diminished so you drink less water while at the same time losing more. I’m surprised that as a team we aren’t more dehydrated overall.”
The conversation was dropped as the team got their drinks ordered and then settled into a round booth at the back of the bar. As Spencer took a sip from his water, his eyes scanned the bar’s patrons to see if there were any people they may have to watch out for as the night goes on and more drinks are consumed. The water he was sipping on suddenly went down the wrong pipe though as he spotted a familiar face at the table adjacent to the team’s. It was you hanging out with a few friends, seeming to have not noticed his arrival. He wasn’t too surprised about that though because judging by the glasses on the table you were at least one and a half margaritas in and you already weren’t the most observant person when you were distracted anyway. 
“Everything okay, Spence?” JJ asked while she patted Spencer’s back. 
Derek’s eyes tracked where Spencer’s had landed and he smirked as he announced to the table, “Pretty boy just saw the girl he bangs on his couch.” 
There was a quiet cacophony of responses to Derek’s comment the moment it fell from his lips. “Remind me to not sit on your couch ever again,” Emily Prentiss commented with a quiet laugh. “Ooh Spence, how serious is this thing?” JJ asked in a sly tone. “I’m glad you found someone, kid,” David Rossi said with a nod and a toast of his glass. “As long as it isn’t going to affect you at work,” their unit chief Aaron Hotchner commented sternly. “Spencer’s dating someone? Why did Derek know this and I didn’t?” Penelope Garcia asked with wide eyes. 
Spencer didn’t respond immediately, suddenly overwhelmed by the barrage of comments, so Derek took a moment to dig the hole even deeper by adding, “He made me swear not to tell baby girl.” He got a mischievous look on his face as he continued, “But one time when I was at his place getting his go bag while he was busy in the shooting range, I found a bra in his dresser. It took some time but I finally got an answer out of him and it turns out this has been going on for a few months now.”
“Spencer Reid!” Penelope scolded while leaning over and playfully swatting at his hand. “How could you not tell me? You know I would have run a background check on her to make sure everything checked out!”
“Everyone slow down!” Spencer said, putting his hands up which caused the noise at the table to die down. “She quite literally ran into me at a coffee shop a few months back but I didn’t tell anyone because, well…we aren’t together. It’s just a casual thing.”
“Just casual? Is she okay with that?” JJ asked, quirking an eyebrow up in question. 
“She hasn’t said anything against it,” Spencer replied. He glanced over at you laughing with your friends one more time before shaking his head and asking, “Can we change the subject?”
“Whatever you want, player,” Derek said with a chuckle before the conversation moved on to whatever the latest sports news was, prompted by Derek’s reaction to something happening on one of the many TVs hanging around the room. 
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Later that night after you had your fair share of appetizers and drinks, your friends were all starting to head home for the evening. “Thank you for coming, we need to do this again soon!” Celeste told you with a fake stern look before she giggled and leaned over into Maddie’s side. 
“We do!” you agreed as you grabbed your glass to finish off the last bit of your drink. “Get home safe!”
“You too!” Maddie said as she attempted to steady Celeste. “You’re calling a cab right?”
“Of course,” you told her with a nod, raising your glass in a toast as the pair headed off toward the door, following Adrianna outside. 
After finishing off your drink, you stood up, trying to balance as well as you could as you grabbed your clutch off of the table and went to the bar to pay off your tab. You weren’t completely drunk, but you were definitely tipsy and you were naturally clumsy, so nights like this were always an interesting time, especially when you were in heels. When you got to the bar to pay though, you were surprised to be informed that your tab was already paid for. “Who did that?” you asked the bartender, your eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. Adrianna was just about finished with but still in law school and Celeste was a teacher so you could never ask them to pay for your drinks. Maddie was a paralegal and made a good salary but still, you made enough on your own to pay for your drinks, so who…? 
Your question was answered though when you felt a familiar pair of hands glide along your waist and land on your hips. You turned your head the slightest bit and an immediate heat flooded your body as you whispered, “Spencer… Hi. I thought I heard your voice earlier. When did you get back?” Your emotions were conflicted at his sudden appearance because you had overheard him talking with his group of friends earlier and it had honestly upset you, but now that he was practically wrapped around you, your mind flooded with memories of his hands on your body in the most intimate way…
“Just got back this morning. The team met up here to celebrate and I was surprised to see you here,” he replied. His voice lowered and his lips grazed the shell of your ear as he mumbled, “You look irresistible in that dress by the way.”
“I…Thank you,” you breathed, feeling your heart rate increase as his hands massaged your hips. “And thanks for paying for my drinks, you didn’t have to…”
“But I wanted to,” he told you, gently nipping at your ear lobe which made your cunt clench around nothing in desperation for more of his touch. Truth be told, it had been a week since you and Spencer last hooked up and you hated to admit that you had gotten dependent on his touch lately. 
Your impure thoughts were interrupted by a low whistle piercing the air, and your head snapped in the direction it came from, to see two people you recognized from pictures in Spencer’s apartment. They must be from the BAU as well. You made eye contact with the perky looking blonde woman and offered a smile as the man beside her asked, “Pretty boy, why don’t you introduce us to your friend here?” 
“Oh, I-I thought everyone had left,” Spencer said, instantly making space between the two of you. You looked at Spencer’s panicked expression that quickly changed into something more neutral as he introduced you by name and then said to you, “These are two other members of the BAU. Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia.”
“It’s nice to meet you two,” you told them, a smile on your face as you raised your hand in greeting. “Penelope, you’re the tech girl right?” you asked after a few moments of going through your memories of what little Spencer had told you about his job. 
“That’s me! Resident tech genius because boy genius here refuses to get to know technology!” she replied chipperly. 
“Oh trust me, I know,” you said with a giggle, leaning into Spencer’s side as you remembered the last time you two had gotten lonely at the odd hours of night and wanted to video chat each other to get off. Spencer struggled to get the video call to work and it had ended up being muted for a few minutes before you finally got him to unmute himself so you could hear everything his surprisingly filthy mouth had to say to you. 
“Well it’s nice to finally meet the girl who is getting pretty boy out of his shell,” Derek said, flashing you an award winning smile. 
“It’s nice to meet you too. I’m glad you all are keeping him safe out there in the field,” you replied. 
“All in a day’s work,” Derek said with a chuckle. He checked his watch before exaggeratedly yawning and telling Penelope, “Well baby girl, I think we should get going. Don’t want to hold these two up any longer than we already have. You two have a good one.”
“Thanks Derek,” Spencer mumbled as he watched the pair walk off and out the door. You watched as Spencer’s eyes did another sweep of the bar before his attention was back on you, turning you toward him and pulling you into his front, his hands snaking their way around to your ass and giving a light squeeze as he returned to kissing your ear and neck. 
Your hopeful thoughts from the conversation with Derek and Penelope were instantly abandoned and replaced instead by flashes of your intimate moments with Spencer over the last few months. Your hands drifted upward with one resting on his shoulder and the other lacing into his cropped hair as you let out a quiet moan in Spencer’s ear before asking, “Take me home?”
“God yes,” Spencer whispered, pulling away and turning you around so you were in front of him. To anyone watching it would look like he was simply helping you keep your balance as the alcohol in your system continued to impair your coordination, but only you knew the real reason for the closeness. So as you walked the block to the parking lot, you occasionally let your ass rub against the growing problem in Spencer’s slacks which earned low groans and a squeeze of your hips as you two made your way to Spencer’s car which was tucked away at the back of the lot away from other cars. 
When you got there, Spencer pinned you against the side of his car and his lips were on yours in an instant. After a few seconds, he pulled away for a moment and between panting breaths he asked, “Is this okay? You’ve been drinking, I didn’t want to-”
“You aren’t taking advantage of me,” you promised before he could complete his sentence. “I only had two margaritas and a shot and a ton of food. If you want to breathalyze me, agent, go ahead, but I promise you I’m all here and I’ve missed your hands on me.” As you said this, you carefully hooked one leg around Spencer’s waist and pulled your hips closer together with a smirk gracing your lips. 
“I trust you,” he whispered before your lips crashed together again. You once more laced one hand into his curls and used the other to pull him closer as your tongues began lapping into each other’s mouth, desperation and pure need guiding your actions. Shocks of pleasure began flowing down to your core and you felt light headed as Spencer rutted his hips into yours, seemingly desperate for any sort of friction. The moment that his hard cock brushed against your cunt you let out another moan that was swallowed by Spencer’s mouth before he was moving one of his hands from the grip he had on your ass.
Within seconds you heard the tell-tale sign of the car doors unlocking and Spencer was opening the door for you to get in. Rather than going over to his side to quickly drive to one of your apartments though, he instead pulled at the levers at the base of the passenger seat and began scooting the seat backward and flat, sending you into a near laying position and dizzying your senses. “Spencer, what-?” you asked as you regained your composure after a few moments. 
“I can’t wait,” was his reply before he began tucking himself into the now more open floorboard and pulling your panties down your legs. 
“What about- What if we’re caught-? Your job-!” you managed to get out in clipped sentences. 
“No cameras, no cars near us, it’s fine,” he replied quickly. “I just need to taste you,” he added, his voice almost dark with desire which had your cunt clenching around nothing again as your own desire overtook your anxiety about getting caught.
He hooked your legs over his shoulders and pulled your hips close to his face before you felt the flat of his tongue on you, going from your entrance to your clit before he stopped there and began focusing on your most sensitive bundle of nerves. You let out a sinful noise as one hand gravitated toward his hair to hold him close as he began sucking on your clit, not wanting to let go of the feeling. 
After a few breathtaking moments, Spencer pulled away slightly and mumbled, “You’re so wet, fuck…” The vibrations of his voice on your core made a high pitched cry escape your lips and he chuckled before asking, “You like that?”
“God yes,” you replied breathlessly as your chest heaved as the pleasure began to build already in the pit of your stomach. “I missed you,” you found yourself confessing as your hips bucked up to meet his tongue as he returned to his assault of your dripping cunt. Spencer’s only response was to shift and add two fingers to the mix which caused you to cry out his name as he hooked them skillfully, hitting the spot he knew could make you fall apart within seconds if he got it just right. “Oh fuck, right there- Spencer, I- shit…” 
“Come on baby,” he mumbled against you as his long fingers began stroking his target within you, causing the tight coiling feeling in your abdomen to increase more and more. 
It all became too much when Spencer began kitten licking at your clit at the same time and the coil snapped, sending waves of pleasure crashing over your body as your orgasm ripped through you. A loud moan slipped past your lips as your grip on his hair tightened and Spencer pulled his fingers out quickly before beginning to lap at your cunt like a man starved, holding down your erratically bucking hips as you slowly began coming down from your high. Overstimulation took over after a few moments and you gently pushed Spencer’s head away as you panted, trying to catch your breath. Spencer obliged, pulling away and wiping his face with the back of his hand before sucking the remnants of you from his fingers as he chuckled. 
You joined in on his laughter after a few seconds and the question that had been on your mind all night slipped past your lips, “Is it casual now?” Knowing it was a loaded question though, you panicked and quickly pulled Spencer up and into a kiss before he could answer. For good measure, you made sure to keep him preoccupied by teasing him as he drove you back to your apartment where he made sure to thoroughly make up for his week away on the case. 
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A few weeks had passed and you were out with your girls again to celebrate Adrianna finally graduating law school. It had been a long and arduous journey for her, but she made it! So before she had to buckle down once more to study for the bar exam, the four of you went out to a nice, new Italian restaurant that had opened only a couple of weeks prior. The restaurant had great reviews, and most importantly to Adiranna, an excellent wine list. So the four of you celebrated with delicious pasta, only one glass of wine for you, and began on dessert - a tiramisu that smelled heavenly. 
As the dessert was being brought out by what seemed like half the kitchen staff who were all warmly congratulating Adrianna, your eyes drifted past them when you heard a distinct nickname being called out teasingly from across the restaurant. Pretty boy. You made eye contact with the man in question and like an instinct your heart rate began to increase and heat began to pool down into your core. It was a Pavlovian response at this point, as Spencer had explained to you the first time you brought up the fact that you would get turned on at the mere sight of him, even if it was in no way sexual. You averted your eyes a moment later and bit your lip as you shifted in your seat, thighs rubbing together to try and alleviate some of the tension building in your core. 
“You okay?” Maddie’s voice asked, breaking through the flashes of when Spencer dragged five orgasms out of you that night after the bar. 
“Just a headache, red wine doesn’t really agree with me,” you told in a half-truth. Red wine really wasn’t your forte, but it was what Adrianna wanted so that’s what you had been sipping on slowly throughout the meal. “I think I’m gonna head to the restroom to take a Motrin, I’ll be back. Maybe the lights will be a bit less harsh in there.”
“Maybe so. I’ll make sure to save you some tiramisu,” Maddie said as you stood up and began making your way across the restaurant to where you noticed the restrooms were earlier. You weren’t really going to the restroom to take some medicine or get away from what really wasn’t even that harsh of lighting in the dining area. There was some part of you that hoped that even from across the restaurant Spencer could tell that you needed him and would get the message to meet you in there. 
Of course as you passed the table Spencer was at, it was filled with the rest of the BAU members, most of whose attention was on the man animatedly talking about the wine and pasta selections. You thought you had gone unnoticed until you heard a low wolf whistle before the comment, “Go and get some loving, pretty boy.”
“Shut it!” you heard the distinct voice of Penelope snap as you kept your head down and made your way to your destination. 
Right as your hand reached up to push the restroom door open, you looked back to see if Spencer had followed you like you hoped, and to your body’s joy he did. Glancing at his lips as he wet them with his tongue, you felt the dampness in your underwear growing as your breathing began to pick up its pace along with your heart. “Hey,” you said simply. 
“Did you want to-?” was all Spencer asked before you nodded vigorously which earned you his lips as he gently pushed you into the single person restroom before locking the door. Spencer’s hands were on you in an instant, one diving into the low v-cut of your dress and beginning to massage your breast, thumb flicking over your already hard nipple as you moaned into his mouth. “If I knew you would have been here I may have dressed a bit nicer,” Spencer commented as he moved from kissing your lips to your neck, your hands desperately roaming his frame as he explored yours. 
“You always look amazing,” you told him earnestly as he hiked you up onto the sink’s counter space and pulled the strap of your dress down your shoulder so he would have better access to your chest. “Oh, God, Spencer…” you whispered as he took your sensitive bud into his mouth and began sucking. It wasn’t long before he moved on from the nipple to the surrounding skin and started to bite and suck which you desperately hoped would leave a mark. You loved it when he marked you because it made things feel more permanent, even if just for a few days.
Before you knew it, your legs were being nudged apart and Spencer’s fingers were teasing your entrance as he asked, “Are you ready?”
“Please,” you begged. The sound was breathy and high-pitched, but you didn’t care much about how desperate you sounded because you knew the sounds you made drove Spencer crazy. 
“Turn around,” he said in a low voice as he helped you jump off of the counter. You didn’t even get the opportunity to tease Spencer or spread his own arousal over his head before you were being bent over the counter with your panties pushed aside as he quickly shoved into your throbbing core. Your moan was muffled as Spencer’s large hand came around and covered your mouth and he gritted out, “We don’t have long.”
You whimpered into Spencer’s hand as he pounded into you from behind, your exposed breast occasionally grazing against the cold countertop causing the most delicious mix of pleasure to course through your body. He always felt so big from behind and tonight was no exception, but the rate and rhythm that he was going at had the coil in your core building quickly. “Spencer, oh, fuck! I-”
“I’m close too,” was Spencer’s grunted out response as the grip he had on your hip tightened as his thrusts began to get sloppy. You don’t know if it was because of the prospect of getting caught, or what, but after a few more thrusts, Spencer was already losing it, whispering, “Baby, I- Shit, shit, shit! I’m coming, fuck-” 
You felt his hot release filling you up and you let out a moan in response, so close to your own peak, but instead of continuing his ministrations like he normally would, Spencer pulled out and began cleaning himself up. You stood there speechless for a moment, still bent over the counter with your heart racing and chest heaving as you recovered from your almost orgasm. Spencer had never left you hanging like that. Maybe to edge you to try and get your body to do what it still hadn’t managed to, but never to deny you an orgasm. 
Spencer approached you from behind once more and recovered your core with your underwear before beginning to straighten up your dress to help you look presentable. He turned you around and placed a gentle kiss on your lips before chuckling and telling you, “I think you may want to fix your makeup a bit.”
“I-I will,” you quietly agreed with a nod, watching as he ducked his head and left you in the bathroom alone, hot, bothered, and honestly a bit pissed off. You quickly relocked the door and went to the restroom, trying to rid your underwear and body of the traces he left behind with his abrupt finish. After cleaning up, you went to work fixing your makeup as best you could and hoped that with all of the wine in their system your friends wouldn’t notice that it was slightly less perfect than when the night began. 
As you quietly made your way out of the restroom, you froze when you heard Derek’s voice coming from around the corner as he asked, “That love toy of yours treating you well?” 
Your blood ran cold as Spencer responded, “Oh, I- uh- Yeah. She is.”
“My man!” Derek said with a bright laugh before the conversation was prompted to return to non-sexual topics by someone else at the table. 
You felt your shoulders slump as your eyes casted themselves down to the floor and you just wanted a sinkhole to open up beneath you and swallow you whole. A sense of dread began to fill your body and your head began to feel heavy as your anxiety started to climb. Trying to breathe through the dizzying feeling, you kept your eyes down as you made your way past the table Spencer was sat at. When you reached your friends, you offered a small smile before telling them, “The headache is just getting worse, I think I need to get going. I’m sorry to be a downer…”
“Hey it’s okay! Get to feeling better!” Maddie told you, offering a smile to try and comfort you. 
“Thanks,” you said as you reached into your small purse and pulled out a few bills that should more than cover your fair share of the meal. “Congrats again, Adri. You earned it!” you told her with a fake chipperness in your voice that you hoped was convincing. 
Once that exchange was over, you quickly made your way out of the restaurant and into the cool night air, trying to convince your lungs to take deep breaths before a full blown panic attack set in. You should have known that all of this with Spencer was too good to be true. You should have known that he just wanted you for sex and nothing more. 
Even though you know you shouldn’t have, after that night meeting Derek and Penelope, you had let your mind wander just a bit and had imagined a little life with Spencer. An apartment smack between both of your jobs, going to the movies together, reading in silence on the couch, maybe even him showing you off at some team party after they closed a particularly hard case. But clearly none of that was in the cards for him… It was just a fantasy you had built in your head.
How did you let this drag on for so long? You pride yourself on being a strong and independent person and for the longest time had sworn off dating after the last disaster that had ruined your life. Yet here you were letting Spencer come crashing into your life, upturning everything you had built for yourself. A searing hatred started to rise in your chest, but it wasn’t directed toward Spencer. It was for yourself.
Your thoughts were interrupted though when a gentle hand was placed on your upper arm to get your attention. Just turning to look at Spencer made you dizzy once again and you braced yourself against the building to keep from falling. “Are you okay?” Spencer asked. “You’re still on the pill right? I didn’t even think about asking, I-”
“Yes I’m still on the stupid pill,” you choked out through your tight throat that felt like it was threatening to close up any moment. 
“Then what’s-?” he tried but you interrupted him. 
“I just thought you thought of me better than a ‘love toy…’” you whispered, the sound barely audible. 
Spencer reached for your hand and squeezed it gently which made your heart soar, but it came crashing down once again when he softly reminded you, “No attachments, remember?”
Panic reared its ugly head again as that dreadful feeling threatened to overwhelm you. So before you could break down in front of Spencer in front of the restaurant, you jerked your hand away and sharply told him, “You can go to Hell, Spencer Reid…” 
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a/n: phew, that was... something! i think i need to go touch some grass... anyways, when i was plotting this, i couldn't help but think of another song that ended up causing their backstory, so i'm going to start writing a part two to this called 'butterfly effect' because i don't like unhappy endings. i hope to see you there! likes and comments are always appreciated!
xo, brooke :)
part two - butterfly effect
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