#like i’m pretty sure i know most of what’s going on but i also don’t

[valenteal]

Alright I see what you’re saying about the headcanons (which are not head canons so much a inferences from the information we have) BUT I have to clarify that multiple psychologists have explained that yes Anakin Skywalker has bpd. He has enough prominently visible symptoms to be clinically diagnosed if he were a real person. This is a fact.

Yes, some Jedi get glimpses of the future, or the past, but that is in no way the same thing as fully experiencing time in a non linear fashion.

I didn’t say that Jedi had ready access to that 4th dimensional view of reality, I said that the Force gives them a glimpse of what it could be like. we literally used the same word to describe it. I’m getting this from Yoda’s lines about how Jedi are luminous beings. But I'm also not just using the movies. (I'll get into my view on Clone wars in canon shortly.) It can be inferred also from everything we know about the Cosmic Force. Basically the Cosmic Force is that fourth time dimensional view of the universe while the Living Force is the fourth SPACE dimensional view of the universe. Sorry I’ve been being a physics nerd for the past few days all this is fresh in my head right now. Point is, the Jedi truly don’t see time as a linear thing even if they are for the most part confined to the present. They see something having existed in the past as never disappearing because the past is fixed and nothing can change that. The past still exists and thus everything that existed in the past will always exist and that is how they justify not feeling grief over loss.

And I want to be clear on something: I do consider the majority of Clone Wars to be canon and I do take quite a bit from Legends as well so not everything I say comes from the movies. But as a writer I do not see Clone Wars Anakin’s characterization as faithful due to stupid things like pandering to the audience who didn’t want to confront things like the complexity an nuance of mental health and toxic environments and relationships. Everything else, the characterization of others like Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Windu? The characters who didn’t get a ton of hate after the prequels were released? That’s all fine. It’s just Padmé and Anakin who suffered from deliberately butchering their character.

So all the Mortis arc, Yoda’s season 6 adventure to become one with the cosmic force and all the implications that go with it? Canon. The Jedi Council’s treatment of Anakin? Canon.

Exactly one Jedi made a big deal about Anakin being the Chosen One: Qui-Gon. That's it. The Jedi don't treat Anakin any different than any other member of their order.

This is patently false. His admission into the order was debated by the full council in front of him. That is extremely irregular. and even once he was admitted into the order he was at the level of Palawan at a young age and skipping the initiate phase. He grew up knowing that most of the council didn't want him there. Mace in particular made it pretty damn clear he didn't like Anakin.

We also know that Anakin was powerful beyond anything the Jedi had ever seen. it can be inferred that they would react more strongly to his emotional volatility than they do with other Jedi who aren't already seen as dangerous.

...I'm not sure what you expect the Jedi to do about that? Qui-Gon died, and Padme was a Queen who had to go back to her own planet.

Well they certainly could have handled it better than they did! Maybe it wasn't their fault but it was their responsibility to help him learn to properly cope. And it wasn't just that Padmé had to return to Naboo, Anakin literally wasn't allowed to be in communication with her, which I'm pretty sure was explicitly stated in Queen's Shadow.

That was a choice that Anakin made. Sidious didn't force his hand. Anakin made the decision that the chance of saving Padme - from a fate he didn't know for sure she'd experience! - was worth betraying the Jedi, worth murdering younglings, worth overthrowing the Republic and turning it into an Empire.

Now this. This is complicated. Because on a certain level you are correct. But he also wasn't in his right mind. He'd been fighting a war for months, hadn't slept in days, was being heavily manipulated, his entire support system was absent, and he was splitting all at the same time. and if you pay attention you'll notice that he resisted very very well. it was not easy for Palpatine to manipulate him into that situation. to even get Anakin to the point where he was mentally unstable enough to turn to the dark side took over TEN YEARS of manipulation. And after that it was actually the Jedi who played the ground work for him to continue making those choices after he became Vader. because the Jedi teach that once you fall theirs no going back, which is provably false but Anakin didn't know that. you may also notice that it didn't actually take much for Vader to return to the light side. Simply having one person believe in him was enough.

Addressing the bit about him not knowing for sure Padmé would die, I have to point out that even from Phantom Menace Anakin shows extreme reliability when predicting the near future. and he touted the dreams about his mother and as a result she died. If he'd responded to this vision just a few days, heck even hours, earlier Shmi could have survived.

That's why I call Anakin selfish and possessive. Because ultimately, he didn't care about Padme's feelings or opinions.

And this is where we come back to the BPD, which again is NOT a head canon but the opinion of multiple psychologists and people with BPD.

Anakin greatly values Padmé's feelings and opinions most of the time. to an unhealthy degree. to the point where his self-image is reliant on her opinion of him.

He was in the midst of a splitting episode. Here's a definition:

Splitting is a symptom of BPD. It occurs when a person sees everything as black or white, good or bad, or best or worst. Splitting is a defense mechanism people living with BPD use to deal with emotions (such as the fear of abandonment) that they cannot handle.

That's what was going on. He was unable to reconcile Padmé being against the side he'd chosen and thus could only see it as a betrayal. I also have to point out that he didn't actually choke her that hard or for that long. Her struggles weren't nearly as frantic as the could've been and later the medical droid made it clear that the was nothing physically wrong with her. There didn't even seem to be any bruising. Padmé shouldn't have died. And Anakin shouldn't have survived. And the Force can be used to drain life energy and transfer it to another person. Palpatine wanted Anakin alive and isolated, so killing Padmé to keep him alive would have been the perfect strategy. Anyway that's getting into theory territory so I digress. The Point is Anakin didn't choose to disregard Padmé or her beliefs, I don't even know if he was cognizant at all of Sidious's plans or what they meant. All he could really see was a black and white view of his side vs. the Jedi.

As for the unconditional love you say he needed? Padme did love him unconditionally.

Which is exactly why he was so desperate to protect her. Even beyond the fact that he loved her she was literally the only person who gave him what he needed. She was his entire support system. If the Jedi had supported him the way he needed things might have turned out differently. If he'd felt safe actually asking for help and being open about the details of the situation the Jedi might actually have been able to do something about it. But when he did go and ask for help he was chastised for caring and wanting to save someone from a possibly preventable death. Which is so messed up. Yoda didn't even press for details about the nature of the death to determine the risk of doing something. just claimed that sometimes the harder you fight the future the more likely it becomes or something. I don't see how Padmé potentially seeing a Jedi healer could have made things worse.

In conclusion the Jedi Order and its Council made a Buch of huge screw up when it came to raising Anakin and it ended up killing them and literally driving him insane. His mental health was their responsibility and they didn't just drop the ball, they threw it.

"no attachments" in SW literally just means "don't be selfish and possessive". that's it. that's all there is. doesn't mean jedi can't have friends and loved ones. they can. just. don't be possessive and selfish about it. don't murder thousands of people in an effort to save one.

[daisymbin]

promise me ice cream! - jeon wonwoo

warnings: slightly insecure wonwoo?

pairings: jeon wonwoo x reader

genre: drunk confessions, friends to ???

wc: 1.3k

a/n: I'm not quite sure what I did to deserve 223 of yall following me but thank you 🥺

drunken confessions series

check out my masterlist!

your best friend, wonwoo is sprawled on the bed, looking more like a puddle of drunk affection than his usual composed self. he's clinging onto you, he wedges your leg in between his own; hugging it like it was a bolster as his head rests on your lap as if it were a pillow, his arms wrapped around your leg, not wanting to let go as if it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. his gaze is hazy, eyes blinking slowly as he stares up at you, his lips curving into a drunken smile, “you're so pretty.” he says as you chuckle while you run your hands through his hair; messaging his head a little to relieve the potential headache.

“why'd you drink so much tonight?” you asked, “its not like you, you're not usually like this.” wonwoo lets out a deep sigh at your question, “you were talking to jun all night and…i dont know, i just didn't like it. i got jealous. it's like…you’ll never pick me.” he says with a pout, eyes closing shut. “jealous? of jun?” you frown, trying to make sense of his words. if only he knew, “don't be silly, you know i talk to jun all the time but you'll always be my best friend. there's nothing to be jealous about.” you reassured. “& i’ll always pick you.”

“you're breaking my heart.” wonwoo mumbles so soft, you almost would have missed it if it weren't for a drunk wonwoo clinging onto you for dear life, heightening all your senses & leaving your heart beating so fast. “what do you mean, wonwoo?” 

"you’re my favorite person," he says, his voice soft and slow, like he’s trying to convince himself of something. "i don’t know if i’ll ever be your favorite, but... you're my favorite." his hand gently strokes the inside of your thigh, sending shiver down your spine. his fingers light against your skin as if he’s trying to memorize the feeling of being this close.

you smile as you feel butterflies erupt in your stomach. you’re a little amused yet also, a little taken aback by the way he’s acting; he's never been like this. you gently run your fingers through his hair, trying to coax him to sleep even though you're sure he’s already half asleep. & maybe you're also just taking advantage of the situation and being a little selfish; having him like this.

"i’m just me," he continues, voice drowsy and laced with alcohol. "i’m just wonwoo, you know? just regular, plain ol' wonwoo. but you're... you're perfect. sparkly. i don’t even know why you ever looked my way years ago, let alone be friends with me.”

you laugh softly, but it’s mixed with a hint of sadness, wondering how he could ever think that about himself. "you’re not just wonwoo, you know that, right? you’re more than that."

wonwoo shakes his head, but his grip on your leg tightens. "no, no, no. i’m just me. i’m just wonwoo, and you’re... you’re so pretty and you're so kind. you're such a good person...so much better than I'll ever be. that's why you would never like someone like me."

his words sting more than they should, but you can tell he's too drunk to mean them fully, right? that's what you hoped for at least. you want to tell him how wrong he is, how much you care for him, but instead, you sit in the quiet, letting him speak his mind as he clings onto you, his drunken ramblings the only thing filling the space between you two.

after a moment, he sits up a little, his gaze suddenly lighting up with a burst of energy. "ice cream," he says, as if it’s the most important thing in the world right now. "we should go on an ice cream date. right now. let’s go."

you glance at him, blinking in surprise at the sudden contrast. it’s already past 4AM and he’s drunk, this is not the time for an ice cream run date. "wonwoo," you say softly, trying to get him to focus. "it’s really late. we’re not going for ice cream right now, okay?"

he looks up at you with wide, sad, hopeful eyes, and you can’t help but find it endearing, even if it’s a little ridiculous. "why not?" he asks, his pout deepening, and his grip on your leg tightening again as he drags himself impossibly closer to you. "i want to go on an ice cream date with you, please?” 

you laugh, though it's full of affection and fondness. "wonwoo, you’re drunk & it’s really late. we’re not going anywhere. you can’t go out for ice cream right now, I don't think you can even walk straight, did you forget how I had to haul you back here?"

he pouts even harder, his lower lip trembling slightly & he almost look as if he’s about to start crying any time as he sits back and crosses his arms, looking like a grumpy child. "but i want ice cream. now. i’m hungry."

you can’t help but smile at his stubbornness. "we’ll go tomorrow, okay?" you promise. "i’ll take you out on an ice cream date tomorrow. I'll even let you pick all the flavours you want, even if its 5 of them."

wonwoo tilts his head to the side, staring at you with a suspicious frown. "tomorrow? don’t lie…i’m only asking you now because… this is a dream, you wouldnt reject me in my dream, would you?" he asks, his voice filled with doubt. "because i know you won’t really take me for ice cream tomorrow when I wake up. you don’t like me like that. you’re just humoring me."

"wonwoo, i promise, tomorrow, we’ll get ice cream," you reassure him, your voice gentle and warm as you stroke his hair again, trying to comfort him.

but wonwoo still looks disappointed and doubtful, his shoulders slump. "tomorrow will never come. this is all a dream. you’ll wake up, and i’ll be... i’ll be just me. plain wonwoo. i won’t be good enough for you. you will never pick me.”

your heart aches at the way he’s talking. he doesn’t believe that you like him, doesn’t believe in this moment, in the promise of tomorrow. "wonwoo, i’m not going anywhere," you say, taking his hand in yours. "i'll be right here when you open your eyes when the sun rises & i'll tell you all the reasons why you're more than enough. i really do like you, I love you, and tomorrow, we’ll get ice cream. i promise."

he looks down at your hand, still not fully convinced. "promise?" he asks, his voice small and fragile.

"promise," you say firmly, hands finding his as you lock your pinky around his.

wonwoo hesitates for a moment, then sighs, his expression softening. "okay...okay," he murmurs, closing his eyes as he rests his head back on your lap, your hands instinctively go back to playing with his hair, he's completely content now. "ice cream date tomorrow. i’ll wait for tomorrow...even if it doesn't happen it's okay..at least im laying on your lap now…at least you’re playing with my hair now…at least now i know what it's like to hear you say you like me too.”

you smile, brushing a strand of hair out of his face, watching him drift off to sleep in your lap. even though he’s drunk and unsure, you know he believes you somewhere deep down. & tomorrow, you’ll take him for ice cream, just like you promised. and maybe, just maybe, tomorrow, he’ll realize how much you really do care about him, & how much you really do love him.

[erensfeed]

content: boyfriends who would flash their headlights before leaving through the driveway, as their way of saying they love you.

note: i really love the concept & idea of a bf so i wrote this.

ps. i still can’t believe that men aren’t real :c

It’d become your ritual by now, this endless loop of ‘I love you more’—something you both say especially when you know you’ll miss each other, even if it’s just for a few hours.

And today, was no different.

You leaned against the doorway, still wrapped in the warmth of his last hug, and watched him shoot you that mischievous grin that always made your heart flutter as he walked backwards away from you.

“I’m gonna miss you,” he said, his voice softer than his grin suggested as he took another few steps back.

Laughing, you said his name fondly. “We’re literally seeing each other again soon in like… five hours.”

“Yeah, but that's like…” he gently shook his head like you didn’t understand. “…forever.” he added, a small feigned frown forming on his face after.

You rolled your eyes playfully, but with a soft smile, you reminded him, “What matters is that at the end of the day, you’ll be back in my arms.”

And just like that, his expression softened, eyes warm as he took in those words.

“Fine… I love you.” he said as he was taking another step back, and by now, it’s instinctive — so with a sly smile, you fired it right back at him, no hesitation. “Mmm, I love you more.”

He let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head once more as he started toward his car, already knowing where this was headed. “Okay, you know I’m not gonna let you win this one, right?”

“Oh, you just keep telling yourself that babe,” you teased lightly, a warm laugh slipping out.

"Only ‘cause it’s true,” his grin widened as he opened the car door. But before getting in, he lifted his hand to draw a quick heart over his chest, then pointed back at you as his way of saying—it’s all yours. And just to make sure you knew, he added, “That means I love you more."

He got you there, you couldn’t lie. Shaking your head, you decided to let him think he had the last word by nodding and even giving him a little wave as he climbed into the car. Once he settled in, you made a quick and small ‘buckle up’ gesture to remind him to, and he caught it right away. Through the windshield, you could see him mouth a ‘oh oops—yes, ma'am’ before that. And you noticed he never took his eyes off you as he clicked it in place, giving you a double thumbs-up with a boyish grin after.

Still smiling, you lifted your hand, making a little phone gesture by your ear—another silent reminder for him as you also mouthed a, ‘Call me when you get there, okay?’

He laughed, nodding exaggeratedly, as if he had no intention of forgetting as he started the engine. Already, you could feel that warm tug in your chest, the one that happens when you start missing him.

As he starts backing out onto the road, you couldn’t help it — you thought it softly, adding his name with those three words.

And then, as if he somehow heard you, his headlights flashed one—two—three—four times at you with a smile and a wave, just before he fully backed out from the driveway to the road. A quick, unmistakable, quiet message of:

‘I love you too.’

As you stood there waving back to him, your heart grew full when you processed it, a peaceful, quiet joy filling you as you watched him go.

The moment was so tender, because he was pretty much saying, ‘I’ll always find a way to say it back.’

And honestly, you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

After his car had disappeared down the road, you headed back inside the house, settling onto the couch—that same small panging feeling of missing him coming back again. When suddenly, an impulse struck, and with a smirk, you whipped out your phone to quickly type out:

⊹ don’t think i’m letting you off that easily tho babe 🤑 i still love you the most 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Seeing your text at the next stoplight, he smiled to himself like a fool.

eren. gojo. rafayel. caleb. jean. + your favs !

[celestiamour]

ft. logan howlett, ororo munroe, laura kinney, wanda wilson, wade wilson, kurt wagner, jean grey, scott summers (separate) x f! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ how they are when you are on your time of the month┊1k words

contains: some smutty topics for logan & jean, periods and all the complimentary side effects obviously because it’s so generous ahahahahaaaaaaaaa

➤ author's note: oh how i hate being a woman at times, if only some strong mutants could come to life and help ease the suffering…

let’s get this out of the way— yes, logan howlett can smell it and is able to tell when you’re on our period. in fact, he’s even able to sniff out the difference between the blood from menstruation and the blood from injuries. he’s been… “around the block” to put it lightly, he knows what you are going through, will be nice about it, and will use his experience to help care for you. he won’t be as sassy as he usually is even if you are a bit snappy, he’ll get extra food and put aside snacks for you, and he’ll give you as much or as little space as you want. also very willing to eat you out or cuddle-fuck you during it, being a little messy doesn’t faze him and he’s probably done nastier. 8/10, he’ll help you get through it without any complaint.

ororo munroe knows when your cycle is coming before you do, she keeps track of it and is on duty to take care of you the second you wake up with that uncomfortable feeling in your panties. she’s already inside the bathroom attached to your room running a warm bath completely with bath bombs and flower petals, ready to carry you into the water, and to strip your bedsheets for a wash if they get stained. there’s even a cute little wicker basket full of candies and drinks on your bedside with a stuffed animal she brought from target sitting on your bedside. it may seem excessive to some for something that happens every month, but she believes the effort is worth it if it means easing your pains. 10/10, she’s an angel descended from heaven in your eyes.

both of your dads are pretty useless (worst! logan is less knowledgeable than his original counterpart) on the topic and althea gives you a piece of chocolate at most, so you and laura kinney need to take care of each other when shark weeks come around. so many cuddles, kisses, and movie nights while snacking because cravings are a bitch. she’ll pat you on the back and rub your shoulders, muttering little “i know, princess, i know” as you whine. don’t even think of moving if you’re in a position like that, she’ll run around the house to get you pain relievers and a hot water bottle. 9/10, she’s such a wonderful girlfriend.

not sure why, but i feel like you and wanda wilson’s periods would sync a lot? anyhow, it’s a nightmare dealing with mood swings, cramps, and cravings all while taking care of babypool, so there’s a general rule not to take anything seriously during those days because you’re both sensitive and irritable. once it’s all over though, you’re back in each other’s arms and apologizing for anything that might have been said or done (nothing serious happened, it’s just something like “i’m sorry for saying that in an off tone and making you think i was mad at you”). 5/10, could be a lot better but the days afterward are kinda like honeymoon bliss again.

wade wilson is the biggest shit of them all, he definitely says “and that’s on period” every time he finds out, calls you his little ketchup bottle, sends you period cramp moodboards which are just poorly cropped photos of him in the deadpool suit doubled over in pain from a fight— however, he will make you laugh so hard you’ll cry and forget about the ache in your body. 2/10 in terms of helpfulness but 10/10 in terms of funny jokes and conversations. 

you’ll give poor kurt wagner a heart attack every time you whine out in pain and curl up on the couch, clutching onto your stomach and contorting about to find a comfortable position. despite the promises from yourself and everyone else that you will be fine as the aching feeling is temporary, he can’t help but bite his nails from worry. the suffering of people with a uterus will never cease to shock him, they really have to bleed freely like that for a few days every month? he will not leave you alone and is going to treat your every request like an order from royalty. anything you want, you get, and no amount of assurance is going to convince him he doesn’t have to do all that, so you might as well enjoy it while you’re moody and suffering. 

jean grey is one of those people who just don’t have period cramps and still glows despite it all which you are so fucking jealous of. that being said, she’s the best person to be around when it hits. since she’s basically the mansion’s school nurse, she always has snacks, water, pads/tampons of every variety, and pain relievers on hand with so much bounty that she never seems to run out. as your girlfriend, she’s also willing to be a bit sneaky and write you a doctor’s note to get you out of classes regardless of if you are a teacher or a student. she’s also down to fuck even if you’re on your period since she knows orgasms are proven to lessen the pain and she’ll also massage your tits if they are feeling tender (and because she likes your chest no matter the size). 9/10, she can be a bit busy at times but is perfect aside from that.

please hold hands with scott summers and go with him when picking out pads/tampons, he will get overwhelmed by the amount of options and panic buy one of everything. what are wings? liners? what’s the difference between yellow and green, is it lemon or lime? he might forget that you’re more sensitive during these times and slip a comment into a conversation that would make you cry when it usually makes you laugh, but he’ll remind you to stay hydrated, will go out of his way to buy you brownies from your favorite bakery, and will smother you in cuddles. 

[fierceawakening]

It depends on what liberalism means exactly. I don’t know how old you are or whether you’re in the US, but I’m in my 40s and USian, and for most of my life “liberal” was how you said leftist in any sense, which is part of why o ask what people mean by it. Popular T shirt during the W years was DAMN right I’m a LIBERAL.

(“I’m a liberal” might have meant “I’m not a communist.” I can’t tell from your replies here whether you are one, but if you are and are disliking that I’m not, that’s a bit less baffling but we’re probably at an impasse. I know people whose close family members were slaughtered by Mao, so “we can try this again and it’ll work” wouldn’t likely sway me without a lot of clear argument for how we keep it from degenerating into that.)

So yeah that word doesn’t have negative connotations for me. I’m pretty sure the word people use now for what we meant then is “progressive,” but I could not quite be one of those depending on where the cutoff is which is why I keep… asking… where the cutoff is?

There’s also “liberalism” in a different sense which refers I *think* to Enlightenment thought in general. It’s been many long years since i studied enlightenment thinkers, and back when I did I was an older teenager and hadn’t done much questioning of a lot of things. But the primary thing that struck me when I read people like Kant, Locke, etc. was that they had a vision of everyone being fundamentally equal in worth, and things like race or religion as incidental, kind of like the cherries on a sundae.

This is both good and bad, or at least that’s where I eventually landed with all that.

The good part is that sometimes aggregating everyone helps get rid of bias in the way things are run. Think about women gaining the vote, or poll taxes being struck down so black people could vote. We’re all fundamentally the same. We all fundamentally should get the same say.

(Donald Trump in the US is currently threatening this. Many if not most people consider that a five alarm fire. If he gets to dismantle or corrode this, people will suffer greatly. A lot of people, in my not so humble opinion, will die.)

The bad part is that sometimes there’s a broad history of discrimination and repression. When that’s the case, sometimes recalibrating the measurements to zero everything out doesn’t do enough. Societal histories reverberate, and undoing the damage is hard, long term, and careful work.

Acknowledgement of this is often the difference between “liberals” in the sense of “progressives” and “conservatives,” who tend to think traditions are important and worth preserving even if they create inequalities (and, as they get more openly fascist, may value these traditions precisely BECAUSE they create inequalities.)

So if the question is “do I think that lasting inequality needs to be addressed in social policy,” yes? But I’d think most left leaning people believe that?

Most feminists I’ve met do too I think. I guess we could say there are a few people out there who are a blend of conservatism (or libertarianism?) and feminism, like Wendy McElroy, but I’d be inclined to just say libertarians at that point.

So once again: which definition of liberalism are we using here? *Who* are we insulting?

But yeah if you’re asking in the US politics sense I’d call myself progressive, though the old term was “liberal” and that feels less weird.

Mostly in agreement with Bernie and AOC?

…So now I’ve made a long effortpost explaining my politics in detail. Are you willing to do the same, or are you just going to keep insulting me while not opening your own beliefs to scrutiny as well?

[Tiktok user Clairrorism]

[you-need-not-apply]

you don’t even vote for the liberal party in your own country so stop judging others for not voting for Kamala

I love this ask because clearly anon has no fucking clue how politics in any country work. Lemme break it down:

In Australia, where I come from, liberal party = conservatives. They are not liberal, they’re mildly far right at best.

Also, how Aussie voting works is that you can still vote for third parties, as we don’t actually elect a prime minister. It’s a little confusing but to dumb is down (and yes I know it’s not completely acceptable just go with it)

Australia has multiple parties, notably are The Liberal party (right wing), The Labour Party (likes to be centre some what left mainly right, workers rights but voted against making price gouging illegal), the Greens (I vote for them just because we need green policy but they’re very far left wing), and like 40 other small parties plus all the independents.

How Aussie elections work is the people vote for people to get them seats in parliament, the majority wins and gets to elect a prime minister, they’re kinda like the kid who organised hide in seek and then didn’t play. Basically they have very little real power other than usual shit, they have to go through our Parliament House to get most stuff done.

And as Australia is still under British rule, we have a bunch on governors in each state and then a “head governor” in charge of says “yeah the colony is still there” back to England every now and again.

Also we can’t change our money without British permission. So every time we change something people hear make this big song and dance about it, which is hilarious considering they don’t give a single fuck.

But how does this allow for third party voting?

Let’s pretend there are three parties (only) the blue the red and the yellow parties. Blue and red want to make a ferry, yellow wants a train. People vote.

Now in America, you vote for the party and that’s your only vote. So if more people want the ferry, but because there are two options the vote is split. Boat wins majority vote, but the train would win because it has the most over all. Got it?

In Australia however, we rank our votes. My brain gone I thought it was 7 or 5 but I’m pretty sure that’s wrong, but it varies okay. So if I wanted a boat but I liked red party more than blue, I would vote 1-red 2-blue, 3-yellow.

Now red doesn’t get enough votes let’s say 20 people voted, 7 blue,8 yellow and 5 red: because I voted for 2 blue, and my first party (red) has been eliminated my vote now moves to the blue party, maybe some from the red party also did blue second and maybe some voted yellow second.

Let’s split the red party 4 for blue and 1 for yellow.

Blue has 11 and yellow has 9. Suddenly the ferry has won!

It’s a complicated system but it makes sure not a single vote is wasted, and as voting is compulsory here (thank fuck) it gives people a lot of leeway to fuck around. Hope this helped anon

[deathsmallcaps]

I need advice.

I’m a white intern working in a mostly white southern(ish) high school. Students of Color number at under 2%, perhaps even lower. It’s a very white, rural community - I grew up in a fairly mixed, suburban northern community, and part of my family is Black.

Several of my white students say rude things to my Students of Color. I’ve told them to knock it off *as appropriately as I can* but I’m probably one of the few adults that actively discourage that behavior.

I don’t want to let this shit fly under the radar, but I also know that if an adult of authority *who will only be here for a couple more weeks* interferes, and then doesn’t stick around, it could make things worse. Additionally, I know these kids are probably very very very used to this ‘system’ and that making a short-term change could be more harmful than helpful.

I asked one of my senior students after a very racist incident *where she was laughing along with the perpetrator but I told him to stop anyway* that I can move him, or her, so she could be more comfortable (admin either does nothing or slaps wrists, especially for seniors). She said it was fine and that he was always like that.

I must emphasize, I think they were bantering (they talk so much I think they consider each other friends?), but it was also wayyy fucking out of line, especially in a school setting. And the guy says so much out of line shit I’m surprised he isn’t rocking a full set of dentures to replace the teeth he ought to have lost by now.

Another student took me up on my offer to move people, but I ended up moving him, which sucks because he was the victim in this situation. Unfortunately, I have to keep his aggressors in their spots, as they are highly rowdy in all the ways and require a lot more supervision than he did. And the class is really full. These were also all freshmen, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that affected the victim’s reaction.

So I’d really appreciate advice as to whether I should let it be, or continue as is, or step it up even more, from People of Color in largely white, especially rural, communities. Like any advice from current or previous educators, especially Educators of Color would be appreciated, but specifically southern/rural ones would be wonderful. I’m going to talk to my family members about it, but they’ve lived in more Northern settings their entire lives and they may have less … applicable (?) experience to the situation.

Again, I’m an intern, I’m going to only be there until winter break 2024, and I don’t want to fuck things up for these kids in the long run with my northern ally ‘sensibilities’. Thank you!

[suzukiblu]

Day five of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut. tw: implications of past grooming/abuse and the inherent problems in someone who was in that situation trying to flirt with someone actually age-appropriate. ( everyone's having fun! so much sugary, fluffy, definitely-not-emotionally-fraught fun!! 🙃 ) prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“That’s not–I told you that you didn’t have to do anything like that,” he says stiffly. “That that’s not a–condition of any of this.” 

“I–yeah, I know,” Kon says, frowning a little deeper and looking–uncertain, now. Mostly just around the eyes, Tim can’t help noticing. Mostly just around where opaque sunglasses wouldn’t show any tells. “You said. I just–I thought–” 

“It’s just–not something you have to do,” Tim says, because Kon doesn’t look like he knows how to find the end of whatever sentence he’s trying to say and he needs to say something, he knows. He just–he thought they’d had this conversation, and that Kon had laughed at him because he’d thought he was being stupid to feel like he had to say it, not . . . 

Is that why Kon had laughed, or did he laugh because he thought Tim was lying to him about something he didn’t think he needed lied to about, or . . . ? 

“I know,” Kon says, biting his lip for a moment. “Like–I wanna, like . . . do this. Like, I don’t think you’re, you know–trying to be an asshole about it or anything.” 

Tim hears “this”, and wonders if Kon means he wants to act like the way he was just acting, or if Kon just means he wants to date him, and thinks this has to be part of that. It’s not . . . clear, maybe. He’s not even sure how to ask Kon that, or if Kon would even understand the question if he did. 

He’s pretty damn sure that “trying to be an asshole” is a translation of something way worse, though. 

“I don’t know what that means,” he says, mostly to buy himself time to figure out what he should be saying. “You want to do–what, exactly?” 

“Whatever you want,” Kon says, and Tim feels nauseous. 

“No you don’t,” he says, inane and useless. 

“I do,” Kon says, shifting his posture into something too-deliberate and too-practiced and just not normal to see on another teenager, and Tim has a flashed moment of intense awareness of just how not-prepared for whatever’s about to come out of Kon’s mouth that he actually–“You can just–tell me what to do, if I’m doing it wrong. Or just do whatever you want. I’ll like it. Promise.” 

There is literally no possible way that Kon could know that, part of Tim thinks, but the rest of him is thinking okay so who EXACTLY gave Kon the impression that he should be saying things like this to someone he barely knows, and how do I most effectively destroy their credit and job prospects and also every single thing they’ve ever loved?

And on top of that, who the hell taught Kon that saying things like that isn’t, like–way too much way too fast, if nothing else? Because again, he has some lives to maybe destroy a little. Like–just a bit. 

Because it’s definitely, definitely something Kon got taught. It’s just–it’s way too obvious, that all this is something he got taught. 

“Why do you think I’d do that?” Tim asks, and Kon–hesitates, a little, a flash of embarrassed self-consciousness crossing the backs of his eyes again. 

“I–it’s just–” Kon attempts, half-fumbling whatever he’s trying to say, and then more or less babbles out an awkward, stuttered explanation of: “I mean technically this is already, like, our fourth date, counting the coffee place and all, and I just–like, you're–you said you didn't wanna do all this stuff for me just ‘cuz I saved your life. I thought that meant . . . I thought you meant . . .” 

He trails off, looking a little helpless and a lot more embarrassed, and Tim feels like an asshole and an idiot and ten steps closer to going supervillain and burning down the world. Or the reality. Or the multiverse.

Just–anywhere that made Kon have to be embarrassed about this. 

“That I only wanted to sleep with you?” he asks, trying not to let his voice get too tight. “I told you, that’s not–” 

“Ithoughtyoumeantyoulikedme,” Kon blurts in a rush, jerking his head to the side to look away and also looking just shy of humiliated.

[spider-stark]

A BOY'S FIRST PEST

Kaz Brekker x Reader

Summary - Kaz Brekker thinks Per Haskell's daughter is a (very lovely) pest

Warnings - fem!reader, traumatraumatrauma, the woes of troubled youth, light mentions of blood and death, these bitches trauma bonded yo, could deviate some from canon, based more on book!kaz than show, NOT EDITED WE DIE LIKE MEN

Word Count - 2.0k

!MINORS DNI!

// masterlist // send me your thoughts // comments & reblogs appreciated! //

Everyone knows Kaz Brekker put his own money into fixing up the Slat. 

He hired men to patch the leaky roof (though it still drips during a heavy rain) and put proper insulation in the walls (which keeps the house warm enough, even if it does nothing to muffle the noise of its occupants). He had all the doors fitted with working knobs (but easily picked locks) and ensured the kitchen was capable of making a warm meal (even if seriously doubted any of the Dregs knew how to cook). 

And while he would never admit it aloud, Kaz was also the one who made sure there were always clean linens in every room (albeit the cheapest Ketterdam has to offer) and spare clothes in every closet (sizes ranging from wafer-thin to barrel-chested). In keeping, he also takes it upon himself to keep the bathing room stocked with a steady supply of toiletries (because if someone uses his toothbrush again, he’s going to kill everyone in this place and then himself). 

Because of Kaz Brekker, the Slat was more than just a safe place to hole up. It was a haven, the closest thing many of the Dregs had to a home. 

But it did, of course, have one enduring problem. 

The pests.

Or, namely, the one pest—one that he could never quite exterminate (though the spider privy to the inner-workings of Kaz Brekker’s mind might argue the merit of replacing ‘could never’ with ‘would never’). 

Per Haskell’s very annoying (and very lovely) daughter. 

In the midst of Ketterdam’s hottest season, you find yourself lying sprawled on your back atop the dark sheets, clad in the skimpiest nightclothes you own: a matching set of black silk shorts and flowy, thin-strapped camisole. The air is thick and near stifling in the attic-bedroom, but you don’t mind it. You prefer being hot to cold, if only because the heavy weight of winter clothes makes you feel trapped, eliciting the urge to crawl straight from your skin. 

When the door finally swings open, you eagerly push up onto your elbows. 

Kaz doesn’t so much as spare a glance in your direction. He’s got one hand on his cane, the other shoving the door shut behind him as he limps toward his desk, guided by the bright moonlight spilling in from the muggy window. 

Your shoulders slump, huffing out a breath. “Seriously? You’re not even gonna greet me?” 

With his back turned to you, Kaz removes his hat and places it on the desk. He doesn’t look at you. “You’re in my room.” 

“Yeah—so I was actually thinking something more along the lines of hello,” you drone, lips pursed. “Y’know, that thing normal people say when they see their friends.” 

“We’re not friends.” 

A hand flies to your chest, as if struck by his words. “Um, ouch? Rude. For your sake, I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.” 

Kaz tugs off his signature gloves and tosses them next to his hat. “I can always repeat it,” he says, so impassive you can’t tell if it’s a joke. 

Knowing Kaz, you’re pretty sure it’s not. 

You push up the rest of the way, scooting down to sit cross-legged at the end of his bed. It’s so much nicer than yours—the sheets softer, the mattress plusher, the smell so familiar and warm. 

If it were up to you, you’d sleep in here every night. 

And most nights, that’s exactly what you do. 

“Would it kill you to be nice sometimes?” you ask. 

“Not usually, no.” Kaz faces you, his weight leaned back against the desk, his cane propped against it. “But we both know you’re a special case.” 

“Is that a compliment?” 

“Not at all.” 

Your bottom lip juts into a pout. “Has anyone ever told you you’re an asshole?” 

Aside from the subtlest lift of his brows, Kaz’s expression remains vague and disinterested. “Regularly,” he deadpans, looking the image of austere melancholy. 

Your laugh comes so sudden it sounds like a snort. “I should’ve guessed,” you nod, forever unphased by Kaz’s forbidding attitude. 

This is the way things have always been between you. Ever since a surly twelve year old marched head-high into your father’s office to see if the Dregs needed a new grunt, oblivious to the girl beaming up at him from a lonely corner, weaving colorful scraps of thread into bracelets for the friends you’d yet to make. 

Kaz Brekker is dark and foreboding while you’re bright and bubbly; he’s rude and standoffish while you’re sweet and flirtatious. Some may liken your relationship to oil and water, but you prefer thinking of it as a carefully crafted balance—a yin and yang sort of thing. 

Kaz, on the other hand, would simply say you’re a thorn in his side. 

Fortunately for yourself, you’re not an easily offended thorn. 

The rickety floorboards creak as Kaz starts around the desk. His bare fingers trail along the varnished edge for support. His limp is always at its worst by this time of night, so you’re not surprised to see the flicker of relief that slips over him when he finally sinks into the chair. 

“Have you ever considered that maybe you work too hard?” Your voice teeters on the edge of concern, tracing idle shapes against the sheets with your nails. 

His answer is curt, and contradictory to the purple smudges beneath his eyes. “No.” 

Fumbling with his cufflinks—simple, unadorned things—Kaz rolls his sleeves up to his elbows. Afterwards, he flips open the thick ledger laid before him, plucking up a pen and dipping it into an awaiting pot of ink. 

Kaz keeps track of the Dregs expenses in his head—a skill you’ve always found most impressive, since you can hardly do a simple equation without scratch paper. Still, he keeps the physical record for the sake of having something to point to in case someone’s ever stupid enough to claim Dirtyhands flubbed the numbers. 

As he works, boredom quickly becomes a chip on your shoulder. 

Your legs unfurl, bare feet stretching toward the floor as you slip off the edge of the bed. Every step is purposeful, traipsing toward him with a look that’s not so unlike a cat readying to toy with its favorite mouse. 

“Maybe we should take a holiday,” you suggest, your voice a soft trill. 

One part of you expects to be ignored, the other to be shot down. 

He lands somewhere in the middle. 

“And go where? His eyes remain focused on the ledger, dark brows drawn tight in concentration. You envision numbers flashing before him, adding and subtracting at the steady pass of the nib scratching against parchment. 

“I don’t know. Ravka, maybe?” 

“Ravka?” It’s like the word tastes sour on his tongue. “Why?” 

You stop just short of his desk, an answer instantly rapping at your mind. You quickly replace it with one that’s far less tragic. “I wouldn’t mind seeing Nikolai Lantsov with my own eyes,” you drawl. “Nina says he’s quite the looker, y’know.” 

Kaz sits up a little straighter, shoulders pinned with newfound tension. 

“Of course he is.” He seems to press the nib down harder, his disinterested tone bordering close to resentful. “He’s a prince—looking pretty is all they’re good for.” 

Your head tilts. “Well, he’s actually a king now, so…” 

There’s the briefest falter in the smooth motion of his jotting wrist. “I’m not taking you to Ravka so you can seduce the Lantsov bastard.” 

“And why not?” You reach for the tip of his cane, still propped against the desk, skimming a finger over the crow’s head. “You think I can’t do it?” 

The pen keeps on scratching, accented by the dull hum of the Slat’s perpetual motion—doors slamming, voices cackling. Your ego grows larger for every second Kaz stays silent, your satisfaction settling into a feline smirk. 

Simply, yet firmly, Kaz eventually maintains, “We’re not going to Ravka.” 

Your exhale is something over dramatic, laden with feigned disappointment as you huff, “Fine!” Kaz never looks up, continuing with the ledger. 

Abandoning the crow’s head, you swipe one of Kaz’s abandoned gloves off the desk, fiddling with the smooth leather. Still recovering from their civil war, you imagine Ravka isn’t an ideal travel spot right now, anyway. Not unless someone has a morbid desire to tour the sites where Saints met their often-grisly ends, that is… Besides, for all Nina’s praise of the Lantsov king, you’ve never actually had a thing for blondes. 

And yet— 

“I really would like to go someday.” Your voice is hardly a whisper. Your other answer—tragic and rapping—crawls up your throat in a hoarse admission, “My mother was Ravkan.” 

That persistent scratching finally comes to a sudden halt. 

For the first time since he entered the room, Kaz looks up. There’s not a hint of pity in his eyes, though they gleam with solemn understanding. Your lips thin, pressing his glove tight to your chest. 

In the winter of your fourteen birthday, you snuck into your father’s office and stole a full bottle of kvas. Dressed in clothes too light for the frigid weather, you sped up the crooked stairs to Kaz’s attic-bedroom, pleading until he begrudgingly agreed to join you on the moonlit roof. For a boy who claimed such an aversion to you, he was always doing things you asked—even if he’d griped the whole time. You both gagged after the first sip of hard liquor. After an hour or so, the full bottle had dwindled to just a drop, your tongues seeming to move with more freedom. 

Neither of you had been prepared for the way the carbonated joy in your chests fizzled to something stagnant. 

I don’t like being alone, you told him, fiddling with the frayed strings tied around your wrist, the friendship bracelets no one ever wanted. If I’m alone, it means I’m thinking, and if I’m thinking, it means my mother won’t stop dying. 

You told him of the endless montage in your head. How at six years old, a walk along the Stave in your favorite winter coat ended with getting crushed beneath the weight of your mother’s last act of devotion, shielded by a body crumpled and crimson, shorn in the crossfire of unexpected gang violence. When you fell silent, Kaz drained the last drop of kvas and told you about a coffee shop near the Exchange. About a sickboat and a boy named Jordie, about a frosty harbor and an impossible swim that left him unable to bear the touch of another’s skin. 

When neither of you had any soul left to bear, Kaz chucked the bottle off the roof. You don’t remember hearing it shatter, and maybe it never did. Maybe it hit some hapless pigeon and fractured his skull. Maybe it ceased to exist the moment it went over the edge. The bottle didn’t matter. Not to you. Not when Kaz Brekker reached for your wrist, leather-clad fingers gently tugging the bracelets off your wrist. 

Don’t make a thing of this, he told you, stuffing them in his pocket. You’re still a pest.

But it was a thing. A strange, beautiful thing—and both of you knew it. 

“Fine.” Kaz’s voice—the rasp of stone on stone—drags you back to the present. He sits the pen down beside the ledger, a strand of black hair swaying with the subtle shake of his head. “We’ll go to Ravka. You’ll seduce some sorry prince and live happily ever after in a gaudy palace. I’ll make my fortune snagging the Lantsov Emerald and use it to hire a proper bookkeeper. Deal?” 

Your lips twitch, still hugging his glove to your chest. “King,” you correct him. 

His eyes roll, but a flicker of something warm betrays his affection. “Pest,” he calls you, though it doesn’t sound like much of an insult. 

“I imagine the Grand Palace has fine exterminators,” you muse. 

“Then I suppose your marriage will be short-lived.” 

“Will you save me, then?” Your heart leaps with the question, how it slips from your tongue before you can grasp it. 

Kaz hesitates. Then—remarkably—smiles. 

“Maybe.”

a/n - you know what they say. a bottle of kvas is never just a bottle of kvas, amirite

(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

anyways, i was procrastinating an essay and thought "lets write something with a somewhat ambiguous ending!" and voila, a boy's first pest is the product. now everyone say: lainie, go work on your original writing and stop writing so much fan fiction! (but i'm already thinking of a kaz smut drabble so) anyways, comments and reblogs much appreciated, i cry with joy every time someone actively interacts with my work so THANK YOU

[solar4seekstron]

Transformers One x Reader: Awakening Chapter Five

Chapter Five: I’m Done Saving You

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four,

Transformers One x Cybertronian!GN!reader

TW/Tags: non? Based on the title you already know what’s coming. Good luck nerds.

(Chapter 5 is finally here and I’m pretty excited for this one. Sadly there is much to add for Elita and reader so most likely in the next chapter. Sorry guys the movie isn’t making it any easier for me or just can’t think of any that doesn’t ruin the movie too much. I was dreading to type in the scene where D. Shoots Orion and it didn’t feel right to add in the expressions of Y/N, Elita and B because that moment is for D-16 and Orion in my opinion. Oh boy the next chapter is gonna hurt but I want to make y’all happy so here we go.)

(The next chapter will be the last one and then 5 bonus endings after)

*At Iacon City-

Y/N was about to sneak into the city the same way the gaurds were able to. Paying o mind if others see them as they fly in their alt mode. Landing in an alley between buildings. The view clear of sentinels tower. They would then look around and say. The bots they once saw to be taller then them was now around the Sam seize as them having a cog now. They would let out a sigh and then walk out making their eye to the tower. Knowing if they were in their alt mode. They would be questioned. But as they walked passing the road and walking on the side walk as they walked around. Seeing that there’s an alleyway that seems to lead to the tower sooner. They. Go down that path. As they walk someone then grabs their hand. Causing them to quickly turn around pin the person against the wall.

���Woah easy there friend I just wanted to tell- Y/N” It was Deadlock

”Lo- uh sorry you got me confused with someone else.”

They would then try to leave but deadlock would grab their wrist and pull them back and turns them around putting his had on their shoulder.

“Y/N it is you! But. But you have a cog!” Y/N was just 5 inches shorter then him now.

”Uh yeah I should really get going.” Deadlock would rests his hand on their hip as he looked at them. They would place their hands on his shoulders to try to create some distance

”Y/N where have you been and how do you have a cog. Come on lets catch up.”

”Deadlock I would love to but I must go. My friend is possibly in danger and I should go make sure they’re safe.” Deadlock looks almost disappointed. Then over the comm its heard his boss is calling for him. He then sighs

”Fine but seeing that you have a cog now. Come by the club and we can catch up.”

”Will do Deadlock now I must go. Good to see you friend.” They pat his shoulders as he finally out his hands off them. Watching as they leave before turning around to head to work

Y/N continues to walk to the tower then once seeing the security they come up with an idea remembering what sentinel said the day of the race. They would then go up to the two guards

”Heeeey guys name’s Y/N sentinel said he was expecting me?” The two gaurds look at eachother then at them. Nodding then letting them in after giving them directions to the personal quarter sentinel told them to tell you to go to

Y/N would then walk in able to go through a door to the others sneaking around trying to find the room while also being quiet. Soon they would peak through a door and see D-16, B-127, and the other guards on their knees and their hands tied behind their back as sentinel walks past them in a line speaking an d having his average smirk on his face

“I don’t understand. Why are we still alive?”

“Look at this rowdy bunch. The High Guard. You know you guys have been tough to find. Every trip to the surface I have been searching for you.”

“Tracking the bots in the cave led me right to them.”

“You captured Starscream.”

“It was too easy.”

“I’m going to rip you apart piece by piece and that your death is painful and you’ll regret the day you”

“You sound ridiculous. It’s weird. Oh D-16 what a tragic story you’ll be. Atop the leaderboard in your sector. Secretly a traitor.”

“I’m not the traitor. You’re the traitor.’

“Nuh-uh. You. All of you are traitors. You’ve been working with the Quintessons to sabotage atoge my expeditions You’re the reason I haven’t found the matrix of leadership yet.”

“None of that is true!”

“Oh trust me all of that will be very true when I am executing you in front of all of Iacon because down here the truth is what I make it.”

Sentinel would get into Bs face before D would take a step.

“Well well. What’s this about?”

“I’m not kneeling in front of you.”

“Feeling confident are we?”

“You dont scare me. You wanna know why?”

“Please.”

“Because I don't anything else left to lose. You took it all.”

“I sure did.”

Sentinel would then punch D.

“Ah megatronus prime. Of course you are a fan. Megatronus was the coolest prime! The biggest. The Baddest. The Toughest! That's why after I killed him. I took his cog for myself.”

“He was greater than you’ll ever be!”

“I don’t know I’m pretty great but I can understand why you would wanna wear his face over mine. Here, lets make sure it doesn’t come off.”

Sentinel would put the sticker back then starts engraving the deception insignia into his chest. The others only able to watch. Y/N knows that they have seen enough and without a second thought they open the door and as the others were about to notice in a moment Y/N was running pulled out their blade. Putting the blade against his neck catching him by surprise. The gaurds and airachnid pointing her guns at them

“Shoot me and he dies!”

“Ahh Y/N I see you have a cog as well-“

“Shut up! Sentinel prime is it true you did it all for power…Is it?!” Sentinel then scoffs

”Well of course. Any Prim-“

”You are no prime! And I swear in the memory and honor of my friends…to B and D I’ll-“ Then Y/N is shot on their side by one of the guard causing them to fall onto their knees as sentinel stands before them.

”Well isn’t this just a shame. You know I was pretty excited to work with you. Of course it not including the two miners you so cared for. Maybe there is use for you seeing that you’re all about honor. And you’re not labeled dead yet by the public.” Y/N still on the ground. The bullet almost through their waist almost to the center

”We’ll be sure the best doctor of Iacon will take care of that wound” He would then grab their chin making their face look up fullly facing him after he took a knee. he then snaps his fingers. Two guards walking and grabbing them by the arms picking them up.

”Make sure they’re well taken care of” Y/N was then dragged and taken towards the door they cam from.

*Orion-

“Ooookaaay. I-I can do this.”

*At the mines-

“You can’t be serious. We just worked 22 shifts without a break. These miners need rest and time to repair.”

“Sentinel Prime wants more energon. So get back into the mines! Before I make you go back in-“

“Is that-“

“Orion?”

“Jazz.”

“Is that really you?”

“Yeah I know I uh- look a little different.”

“Little? There’s nothing little about you.”

“How is this possible?”

“Sentinel told us you died from your race injuries.”

“Sentinel is a lair. Look, I know sounds coming from me. I was never the most focused. Miner but as you can see everything’s different now.”

“I went to the surface. And I learned the truth. My friends. We were all born with transformation cogs. And then sentinel. He stole them from us! He took away our ability to make our own decisions. He stole our freedom. But now I’m offering you your first real choice. You can work a twenty-third shift and mine yourself to death. Or fight back against sentinel with me. Right now.”

“How are we supposed to do that?”

“We can’t fight. We don’t have cogs.”

“What defines a transformer is not the cog in its chest but the spark that resides in their core. A spark that gives you the will to make your world better and that spark sentinel can never take from us.”

“There’s not enough of us. We need an army.”

“And we have one. Elita is bringing troops. We are not alone in this. If we want to be in control of our own destiny we will have to fight for it. Now is the time for us to stand up. For ourselves! Stand up for this injustice. I promise you this fight will be worth it. Follow me! Nothing can stop us when we stand together. Together as one.”

“Elita it’s time.”

“You got it. Buckle up blinky. We’re going in.”

Back to the others D heard everything sentinel and Y/N said. Hearing the guards take Y/N away as they groan in pain. He the tried to stand up again.

“Not a good idea.”

“D stay down.”

D would stand up once more

“Well that’s a shame. You really were a great miner.”

”D! Run!….”

Sentinel points his blaster at D as D watches. Waiting.

“We’ve got a breach! Protect Sentinel!” A guard would hit D to fall back again as another would join them to protecting sentinel. Y/N was still carried away. Now further from where the direction the train was heading as the guards noticed

“Ok they spotted us. It’s about to get bumpy.”

“High Guard. Eject.”

“There’s too many! We have to abort.”

“We’re not going to make it.”

From there many miners with jet packs fly up and start fighting sentinels guards. Helping the others

“Lets break some protocol.”

“That’s what I’m talking about Pax!”

Pax was then attacked against the front of the train by Airachnid

“Ooooh that’s intense.”

“You can’t win miner! I see everything!”

“That’s right you do! Except the tower we’re about to crash into.”

Orion would then kick Airachnid off him. Hitting the window with his elbow breaking it to get in and the train soon hits the tower. Hitting Sentinel

(HE DID THE POSE FHGFGJFGVUDKKYKUCFKUVU)

“Hey!”

“What has he done to you?!”

“This is nothing! Compared to what I’m going to do to sentinel.”

”Y/N!!” The guards have left leaving them on the floor. They would then stand up and put a sort fo tissue over their bullet hole. Something ratchet gave them before. They would make their way to the two limping a bit. Orion going up to them

”I’m fine. We need to stop sentinel.” They say as they look at Orion and D. D unable to take his eyes off the energon coming of them as Orion does the same

“Soundwave, free the prisoners.”

“I know how to stop him. Airachnid is the answer-“

“I’m doing this my way!”

“D!”

“Yes! Woah! I got a battle mask. Elita! Battle mask! It appeared when this guy tried to- Knife hands? I have knife hands! Haha! Baddassatron!”

“Where’s sentinel?!”

There was then an explosion causing D, Y/N and Orion to fall forward. They would then hide behind some rocks as they then hear sentinel

“You pathetic little twits. Did you really think you can knock down everything that I have built?!”

“It’s over sentinel! You can’t escape the truth!”

“What truth? That I pluck the cogs from your newborn chests. Forced you to mine so that I can pay off the Quintessons and live like a king. None of that matters! Because the truth is what I make it!”

“In coming!”

D and sentinel will then have their own fight as the three try to think of a plan

“He’s too strong!”

“I have a plan. We need Airachnid.”

“Airachnid?!”

”Are you crazy?!

“We need her memory.”

“Where is she?!”

Elita was tackled by Airachnid

“Found her!”

“Elita. Do not break her. Bring her to the broadcast station. We'll meet you there.”

“Easier said than done!”

“I said don't break her!”

“Relax I’m being. Very. Gentle!”

“Orion! Orion look! Knife hands!”

“I can see that!”

”Yeah Bee!!” They then show their sword blades they picked up earlier showing they glow as well. B then cheers excited

“I’m gonna cut these guys watch! Come here!”

“You can jab them later!”

“GO! I’ll stay here and help D!”

”All right b careful!”

“Yeah!”

The three make thier way to the other tower. D and sentinel continueing to fight eachother. Y/N staying behind and joining the fight with D

“Um. E-excuse me, you can’t be in here.”

B then starts destroying the place

“B. These are not the ad guys.”

“Why did you cut the door?”

“What? No I didn’t cu- I didn’t- uh that wasn’t- I didn’t- it was ready like that. Right?!”

“Yes that’s right It- it was already like- yeah-was already like that.”

Orion then got to work and Elita made sure Airachnid was on the table her hologram memory showing.

“Attention. Iacon city. Stand by for a live transmission from Sentinel Prime.”

During thre fight D and sentinel keep fighting all ove the room causing more damag. Y/N waits for the right moment and once sentinel was believing he has D. Y/N jumps and transformers their alt mode on its side and spins fast pushing him off D (Think like that scene Megatron does in TF Earthspark to skyward during that big battle scene.) Scratching his paint job as they land right next to D pulling out their blades protective over D.

”D are you alright?!” D stands up and shakes his head a bit trying to stay awake

”This is my fight. Go to-“

”Will you quiet that! You can finish him off after I get a good hi-“

Y/N was then tackled by sentinel being pinned to the ground as they were far enough from D. Y/N would fight him getting a couple good hits and sentinel getting a few more hits on them. After kicking him of them D then side body slams sentinel. Y/N struggling to stand up as D then starts fighting sentinel again. Y/N is badly injured and struggles to stand. When they look up at the two. D is back on the ground and sentinel on top pointing his blaster as him again

“What’s wrong D-16? Rise up!”

“That’s why after I killed him. That’s why after I killed him. I took his cog for myself. Cog for myself. What truth? That I pluck the cogs from your newborn chests. Forced you to mine so that I can pay off Quintessons and live like a king! What truth? That I pluck the cogs from your newborn chests. Forced you to mine so that I can pay off Quintessons and live like a king! I’m working my miners as hard as I can. I swear I’ll get you the rest! I’m working my miners as hard as I can. I swear I’ll get you the rest!”

“Lier!”

“We trusted you!”

“Traiter!”

“Pax, we did it!”

After sentinel was distracted Y/N was able to make their way to D. Helping them up while holding their waist where they bleed a bit at. D would stand back up with their help.

”Stay back you helped enough!” He yells at them. Knowing they helped make sentinel get weaker after hitting him with their blades.

“D NO!”

D then charges at him. Causing them both to fall off the tower.

“D!”

The two would fly across the city hitting towers until they eventually land. Y/N would transform as they gain more strength while swirling a bit they’re able to make it but pretty far from the two transforming and is still weak staying on the knees as they watch the two fight. Slowly standing up.

“D-16. We can lead Cybertron together! Don’t have to do this.”

D would walk up to sentinel pointing his canon until Orion runs and jumps D. Stopping him.

“What are you doing?!”

“It’s over D. Everyone in Iacon knows the truth”

“So do I! He took everything from us! I have to do this!”

“No you don’t! Rebuilding Iacon cannot begin with an execution.”

“He deserves to die! Can’t you see that?!”

“We’re better than this. Don’t be like sentinel.”

“Pax. You need to get out of my way before I move you myself.”

“D listen-“

D would punch Orion and kick him further for Orion to stay on the ground. Then walking back to sentinel as sentinel was still on the floor. But Orion soon gets in the way. Orion wa shot shocking D and the others. As Orion was about to fall off the cliff D was able to catch him in time by the wrist

“No. No no no no no. Why..Why did you do that! Why!?”

D would be breathing heavy as so many emotions went through his head.

“D….no”

“I’m done saving you!”

[crooked-wasteland]

I’m weirdly torn about Lite’s character arc.

On one hand, feminine rage (yes please), she’s the only one who understands Hell can BE A THREAT (sure, Charlie and Pentious are nice and all, but there are other people in Hell who are probably not well intentioned), she’s rightfully pissed that her role as second in command was overlooked for some (admittedly sweet) guy who doesn’t even wanna be here, and she’s rightfully upset that her sisters and best friend/man she loved were murdered in a job that she was authorized to do by the supposed good guys. She shouldn’t be seen as the bad guy for being convinced by others that what she was doing was right, and is upset when she’s told all her work, her allies, and Adam being killed meant nothing.

On the other hand, she’s being depicted as the bad guy. I’m not saying she needs to be sympathetic, 100% likable, uwu babey. But her pain and issues are being brushed aside to make her appear like the stereotypical “crazy bitch” who will probably be the villain of the season, or at least A villain. Not the antagonist, the VILLAIN. Her grief and valid opposition is more than likely going to be villainized, when in reality, she may be cold and sadistic, but I don’t this Lute is ultimately a bad person. She spent her existence fighting for what she was told is right by a holy figure. Not some cultist or priest who says God talks to them, but THE ACTUAL HIGH SERAPH. She was convinced angels don’t make mistakes, to the point she never questioned that in all her cruelty, if she was right or wrong. She believed she was right. If this were on Earth, on could compare this to crusaders or people who force conversions or kill anyone who doesn’t agree with their beliefs. But I don’t think that can really apply, because Lite isn’t human, she lives in HEAVAN. Religious asshole humans aren’t comparable to ANGELS who are familiar with THE SPEAKER FOR GOD HIMSELF. So her genuine belief she is doing good is understandable, but will probably be what makes her villainized. Or maybe it will be the fact she’s in mourning? Who knows! Viv will never skimp on presenting a woman as a villain for the flimsiest of reasons.

And on the other other hand. Yes, it suck a huge part of her motivation is her connection to a MAN (the first man, no less) who is a douchebag. But idk if that’s that big of an issue. For all her being sad her boss/love interest/a dude died, there’s also her being angry that her position as leader was passed over for some guy as well. I’m not saying it evens out, but maybe it does? Not to mention that even though Adam was a dick, he was more than just a man/asshole/boss/probably misogynist, he was also her friend, someone she looked up to as a leader, and still was comfortable enough to hang out with when not on the job. He called he names, but that might’ve been out of familiarity rather than genuine malice or sexism. Then again, Viv never really let us learn Jack shit about Adam as a person, other than CHARLIE GOOD, ADAM BAD. So while it is kind of iffy from one perspective for Lute’s arc to be connected to Adam, I don’t think it’s an issue of gender, and more of the fact that she meant something to him.

Sorry for the long ask, but what’re your thoughts?

I agree with pretty much all of this. I think she is an extremely compelling character and I think her deeper character reasons for being a real villain are solid. I even think the song itself is genuinely good at showing that Lite isn't only raging about some guy. The actual meat of her character is really well balanced on paper, and the song does a decent job of depicting that ...

Until it gets to Adam.

The issue is the poor pacing of the writers and how we never got to see Lute and Adam as much. Lute is extremely formal in most of the scenes in the early part of Hazbin. Calling Adam "sir" doesn't give the impression of "best friends", so she does come off as oddly obsessed, especially with the rushed "crazy bitch" routine as you pointed out. We don't actually have a strong foundation for their relationship. Additionally, the revival of Adam as a figment of Lute's imagination as she falls into some form of psychosis is just rather silly. I understand it's to give Lute someone to talk to, but it makes Adam as a love interest is the most important characterization.

I do completely agree with your points on Lute's character. She has excellent motivation, and a clear arc that I also think is worth the effort. It just suffers from weak world building and lazy shortcuts.

[elrielbaby]

What do you think of the Gwynriels being too confident in their ship? Are you sure Az has feelings for Gwyn and is always looking for her and stuff? And what are they matte?

I have tried, really really tried, to see where they’re coming from. I’ve re read the books multiple times to ensure I’m not missing any context, I’ve looked at it through every angle possible and I still cannot fathom why they are so confident.

I have a couple of theories as to why they’re so confident and I’m feeling a little spicy today, so I’ll share. I could go in to heavy detail, but I’ll try keep it brief anon.

1. They hate Elain and so are looking for any other option. Literally anyone. G*yn happens to be in the bonus chapter and so they go with that, without really thinking about it* (I will circle back to this).

2. They blindly follow the word of one or two people online.They don’t like Elain, or they love L*cien (and they totally miss all the clues that say L*cien doesn’t actually want Elain but that’s a whole other can of worms) and so they accept other people’s interpretations - which those people very intentionally present as fact, and use them as a jumping off point, so when they go back to the books they have that other persons narrative in their head that far better suits their ideals and so they’re looking, twisting, turning any and all of the narrative to fit that. They are gaslighting themselves, basically.

3. They don’t re read the books and they don’t open themselves up to any other possibility. I can say for myself that before I started posting online about elriel, I had heard about G*riel after reading the books and re read them to be sure. I’m nearly positive a lot of them don’t do that, and either never re read or re read as per the second point.

As to the second part of this question, I don’t believe he’s got feelings for G*yn, nor do I think he’s always looking for her - so, I’m very sure of that. If you meant Elain, it’s pretty obviously laid out in the text, without SJM having Azriel and Elain say ‘I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM/HER AND I DONT CARE WHO KNOWS IT’ - because how does that make any sense when they haven’t had their book? If they had, I’d be less sure of their endgame.

As for the last part, I’m going to assume you’re asking if I think either G*yn or Elain are mated to Azriel. I do not believe G*yn is Azriels mate. At all. There are a few signs that Az & Elain could be, but it truly doesn’t matter to me if they are or not. I think SJM has been metaphorically winking at us with some of the things she’s said about them but it could go a number of ways, in terms of wether they’re mates or not.

One things for certain though - they’re endgame ❤️

* to circle back to them not really thinking about it, as I didn’t want to bog down the main text with this, they don’t seem to consider a number of different things.

They don’t consider that it’s a limited bonus chapter that was only available for one specific book store. It is not available in the copies of ACOSF you can buy now, nor was it available in a huge number of copies you could buy at its initial release.

They don’t seem to consider that if you remove the bonus chapter, we still have four books that include build up for them. It literally makes no odds as to wether the bonus matters or not. For them though? Most of their argument relies on that bonus chapter.

They don’t seem to consider any other reason as to why G would be in that bonus chapter. None whatsoever. The Elain part was explicitly romantic and if you look at G’s part there is no romanticism in sight. The ‘spark’ happened after a conversation with Clotho, not even when G was present. Almost like G didn’t actually have anything to do with it at all. If you connect the dots to the main text, at least for my interpretation, you have Elain & Az, who very clearly have feelings for one another. You have G, who has a powerful affect on Nesta, and Clotho who also has, to a smaller extent, a powerful affect on Nesta.

And those are just the few things off the top of my head that I have the bandwidth to come up with right now. ❤️

[opiopal]

MC who hates Lucifer’s guts, yet will go into his study or the music room when overstimulated by all the noise of the HOL. Like, they’ll plant a glitter bomb in his room, and after he’s done finally cleaning up MOST of it, he walks into the music room and sees MC sleeping on the couch listening to a record all peacefully. Or just like…the brothers will randomly notice MC goes missing and is found either spaced out in their rooms or fast asleep.

uhh…basically, an MC who is usually very loud and competitive, will get overstimulated by all the sounds and general loudness of the HOL, and later be found hanging out or asleep in the most random places.

this is so long I’m so sorry-

(Like sleeping in mammons car boot/trunk)

omg YES, but this has also got to be SO hard for mc like omg,

I am imagine them absolutely getting into it with Levi or S8n or literally ANY of the brothers over small things, mc is just digging for a challenge always. “I bet I could eat this faster” “I bet I could beat you in this game” “I bet I could win more money than you” Ect. Ect. but eventually they’re social battery runs out and they can’t help but curse their own behavior, so eventually they slowly separate from the chaos they had created and go into a quiet room, and honestly luci’s room would be so perfect for that. Who in the world would willing bother him in his office? ESPECIALLY when he’s working? Well Mc would, I can imagine Luci is just so used to his brothers going from plotting against him then switching up to needing their older brother, so he doesn’t really mind most of the time. Though he does think mc can be.. a little annoying, but there’s nothing he hasn’t seen when each of his brothers are all uniquely problematic. so typically when mc comes into his office silently, carrying headphones, or a book, or a sketchbook, he just motions for them to take a seat in one of the chairs he has in there as he turns back to the paperwork he was filling out. which they both just sit in silence as mc unwinds in their own way. Though mc makes sure to make it obvious they don’t do this bc they enjoy being around him,

“you know this doesn’t mean anything. Right?”

“of course mc,”

Though he smiles a bit when they aren’t looking.

with the other brothers I could imagine it just feels like another belphie is around whenever mc needs to chill, cause despite being such a loud and obnoxious creature, mc still somehow manages to sneak around so quietly that they wouldn’t have even realized they entered the room. honestly, maybe it’s just a me thing, but I think Beel would be one of the best people to just relax against. Like, I can only assume he runs pretty warm, and no one in the world could convince me he isn’t pudgy in a lot of areas, so he’s comfortable. And he doesn’t mind in the slightest! He’s used to his brother sleeping on his arm, so why would he care about mc doing it to? And he’s very good at sitting in silence…. However the constant chewing would probably add to the overstimulation lowkey, so if Beel is mc’s chosen unwinding person for the day, they might need to bring their headphones with them. belphie may also be a very good chilling out person, I could totally imagine he’d be a great weighted blanket if that’s what mc needs in that moment, if mc is also on the chunkier side he would also very much so look forward to it. To him it’s just like laying on a pillow, so he doesn’t mind in the slightest!(though he’s such a heavy sleeper I don’t think he’d care if mc was a bit on the skinny side, honestly any discomfort will be forgotten the second he closes his eyes lol) though I’m sure he’d be asleep for way to long and mc may have to fight to be freed of him, so if mc decides they need their living weighted blanket and they have plans later.. they’ll probably have to cancel their plans cause they’ll be there till dinner.

I think the most optimal people for mc to hang around would be the older three tbh, Luci would know when mc just needs silence and he’s more then happy to give that to them as long as they reciprocate said silence. mams would probably be baffled the first time he just finds mc hanging out in his room, either drawing or taking a nap, but he makes sure mc’s peace isn’t disturbed, like he’d actually be willing to fight off his brothers at the door because he know his human needs their silent reading time. So there’s no way in the three realms he’s going to willingly let their peace be disturbed because asmo wants to go shopping or the anti Lucifer league wants to plan a prank! They can forget about it until mc is ready! And honestly, Levi would probably be the greatest, he knows what getting overwhelmed often is like so he understands that mc just needs to do their thing.. but he is absolutely honored and crying on the inside because they chose him!! So he makes SURE his room is in the perfect condition for mc to hang out in, he gets his good headphones out so then mc can’t hear his game or anime, he lets them know they have free access to his mini fridge(he totally has one guys idc if it’s canon or not, he literally lives in his room he totally has a fridge of snacks, soda, and water) and he’d probably very shyly get them a sketchbook, or a box of yarn for crotchet, or literally anything they usually do when they need to relax that’s just in their own spot in his room. though giving the other two some love, I know that asmo would absolutely do some like, calming skincare face massage stuff, basically if mc needs a silent spa day amso is absolutely willing to do such a thing with them! And though he understands that’s not what they always need, he does get a little bummed when mc doesn’t go to him for detoxing. But he gets it! Go to ur thing pookie!! and with s8n, he’ll always have a book and a spot on his bed for mc when they need it, he’s good at being quiet and obviously he wouldn’t need to fight anyone off from entering his room, since it’s the same deal as luci’s office. Unless someone has a death wish, they’ll stay out of his room, even if mc is in there.

[lightlycareless]

The oneshot we were all expecting!!!!!! Or at least the one I so desperately wanted to write 🥹 I just adore our two little lovebirds in this setting—their first kiss and date ajkhgjkaghjkahgjkahsgjkashkgaskghaj ANYWAYS

warnings: highschool au. naoya is completely evangelized so don't expect his usual shenanigans. he's also somewhat of an obnoxious dork. fluff. also minimal proofreading (?)

Happy reading!!

[I’m almost there!! There was a small delay on the train, but I’m almost there I swear!! I’m sorry, please wait for me 🥺]

Naoya must’ve re-read your last message a thousand times, but far from making him angry, or even easing his anxiety… it just made him feel worse.

As if the seconds he spent waiting for you weren’t agonizing enough, now that he knew you were very close, he couldn’t help but worry about your reaction. If you’d approve of him, his itinerary for the day—

Or most importantly, his appearance.

Up to that point you had only seen him in his everyday boring jujutsu uniform, with a few exceptions of casual attire after class. Never situations where actual effort beyond the bare minimum was placed.

So naturally, he had to go all out on your first date with him.

Was it too much?

Maybe. Though some would argue this… style was expected of him. Expensive, borderline excessive, from head to toe black in brands many could only dream of affording—it was obvious that Naoya had money to spend, and he wanted the whole world to know.

Mostly you. Everyone else he really didn’t care for—he just wanted you to know what he was willing to do and provide for you. Nothing more, nothing less. 

And such was his determination that he almost forgot another important matter, the one that ended up affecting him the most ultimately: his reaction to seeing you all dressed up for the date.

With a black short skirt alongside a beige oversized turtleneck, accompanied by black thighs that sparked something inside him… Naoya simply wanted to scoop you up and gush at your adorableness. He literally didn't think you capable of being any prettier, and yet, here you were, proving him wrong. Just like every day.

“I’m so sorry Naoya, I hope you weren’t waiting for too long!” you breathed, rushing to his side. Even if you had kept him waiting, all those silly trivialities disappeared the moment you stepped into his sight. 

“You didn’t.” he lies, doing his best to contain the blushing mess settling on his face. “I just got here.”

“That’s not true.” You giggle. “You’ve always been punctual!”

Yes, that's true. And when it comes to you he was far worse; in fact, for today he had actually arrived three hours earlier just to make sure that all the places in his itinerary were still available. 

Naoya had reservations anyways, but there’s always some fool...

“The same way you’re always pretty.”

Now it’s your turn to fluster; what a nice way to turn the tables.

“You’re not so bad yourself, boyfriend.”

Naoya smiles; he's been waiting so long to earn that title, and naturally, it's much sweeter than what he imagined.

“You ready to go?” he asks as he takes hold of your hand.

“Yeah!” you nod eagerly, squeezing him back. “Where are we going first? The aquarium?”

“Yes. Unless you’re hungry, princess. If so, we can get a bite.”

“No, I’m not hungry yet. But I guess we could get  something to drink.” You suggest, already looking through your options.

“Whatever you want, and don’t hold back. Remember it’s all on me.” 

Your heart fluttered at his words. 

“Thank you.”

He smiles.

Naoya had previously scoured the area for nothing but the best coffee shops to give you the most amazing experience possible, nothing short of suitable for his little mochi…

Though his efforts would ultimately be for naught, since you’d take him towards a personal selection instead, initially a recommendation from one of your classmates, now your favorite spot. 

But it wasn’t all bad as Naoya feared, in fact, it was much better than he anticipated; the pastries, while peculiar, were surprisingly tasty. Even for someone like him who wasn’t all too fond of sweets. Yet, what he liked the most was the cozy ambiance that set for an… intimate setting.

“You know, you’re awfully cute when you do that.” Naoya murmurs, a sly smile as he places his hand over yours, inching closer to you.

“When I do what?” you ponder curiously.

“Don’t act coy now, you know what I mean.”

“But I’m not… doing anything.” you frown.

“Is that so?” Naoya laughs.

“Don’t tease me…” you murmur. Your poor heart was already on the brink of bursting out of your chest by the happiness of being so close to him brought you—

You almost passed out once he got much, much closer to you, pressing his thumb at the left corner of your lips and wiping the remnants of your delicious tiramisu…

“Oh, Naoya—that’s—!” you covered your face with your hands. “Stop it! You’re just trying to embarrass me…!”

“Hmmm… really? How could I possibly do that?”

“You—you know what I mean! Don’t act like you don’t!”

Well, you’d better get used to this playful side of Naoya if you’re to be his girlfriend, for he doesn’t intend to stop anytime soon—though he briefly manages to stop when in the aquarium.

Yes, even for someone “cool” like him, the aquarium was quite enjoyable by itself, the kind of place he wouldn’t mind returning to later on again…

Especially if he gets to admire you gleefully observing the fishes, gushing at the ones you considered pretty, if not odd, while taking pictures of them.

There’s just… something about seeing you like this that makes his heart feel warmer, tighter, his feelings for you growing stronger the longer he stares at you, eventually leading him to the thought he’s plentifully considered before—but never brave enough to push for it.

But now… considering all this… he believes perhaps, it’s finally time for that.

Nonetheless, he’s yet to traverse his biggest obstacle, which is setting up everything for that to happen— if it was even meant to occur in the first place. 

Just consider this: Naoya is intimidated by the notion of asking you for a picture, hiding his phone as soon as you turn around to face him.

“It’s—It’s nothing.” He stammers, looking away as he promptly shoves his phone down his pocket. “Just wanted to check something—I think I got a message or something...”

“You know… if you want a photo of me all you have to do is ask.” You suggest, moving closer to him and intertwining your arm with his, resting your head into his shoulder. To think that just a few moments ago the roles were reversed… Oh, how you adored Naoya. “Might even throw in a pose or two for my shy boyfriend.”

“I’m not shy.” Naoya frowns.

“No, of course not.” You giggle, standing on your toes and kissing his cheek. “Never.”

Once done with the aquarium, Naoya’s itinerary continued to the nearby mall, where he’d encourage you to buy something nice—or more like force you to do it yourself, since he was set on purchasing whatever he assumed you’d enjoy. So, if you don't want to end up with things you might not like, you better step up— before getting something to eat.

But while most of his plans were made with the purpose of distracting you, he won’t deny that he’s greatly benefiting from them too; because once he set his mind in achieving that today, Naoya turned into nothing less of an anxious mess, constantly wondering what he needed to do to achieve the same thing he’s been dreaming of since he’s set his eyes on you. 

As well as trying to overcome the insecurities that came with it, what could ultimately ruin the small relationship he was starting to build with you.

What if you didn’t want to? What if you accepted this date to get to know more of him, deciding the best way to continue was by taking things even slower?

If so, he’d only ruin everything with his silly request!

But this—this isn’t anything new. A lot of couples have done it many times! And will continue to do so even after the two are no longer around. 

«Don’t you think if this is something she wanted to do,  she would’ve told you already?» Naoya cruelly scolds himself. «If I make this decision myself, I’ll only end up pushing her away—»

“Are you ok, Naoya?” you ask, having noticed how eerily silent he’s become since… a while ago, really. “You haven’t even tasted your ramen”

“Ah, yes— I’m fine.” He responds, wiping the sweat off his hands on his coat before looking at you. “I just remembered there’s an assignment I need to do.”

“Oh, is it urgent? We can head back if you—”

“What? No! Why would you suggest that?!” Naoya gasps, you blink. “I—I mean—I still want to spend more time with you in the city.”

You press your lips together.

“Are you sure it’s nothing? We can always go out another time…”

“No. I want today to be special, it’s our first date, after all.” You blush.

“Alright, I’ll believe you.” You say, smiling. “But only if you eat, if not, we’ll head back to the school!”

Maybe filling his stomach will ease his nerves, an empty stomach was never a good basis to make decisions on. 

And yet, it simply made his uneasiness grow bigger, if not worse—like he could puke at the mere thought of disappointing you, even when you’ve consistently shown how happy you are with all that he’s done for you.

Or so that’s how you wished to feel, because it wouldn’t take long before you noticed Naoya’s… distance. His prolonged silence that begun just after leaving the aquarium—the now bane of your existence—completely different from when the day began.

You didn’t want to take this mishap and use it as fuel for your insecurities, but with nowhere else to go and no answers to obtain, it just happened. You simply… began to think that maybe, he didn’t like you as much as you hoped. 

Perhaps you’ve come off too strong with him back then; or maybe you’re too weird for his liking, you shouldn’t have gotten too comfortable with him too early in the relationship—

Not that it mattered anyway, because you were absolutely sure he was now considering not being with you anymore.

Evidently, the two were going through quite the emotional turmoil; but it wasn’t until you realized that the time to return home was fast approaching that you decided to take the first step and end all confusions once and for all.

If the day was going to end like that, you might as well know why.

“Na—Naoya… did I do something to upset you?”

Naoya immediately blinks, snapped back to reality and startled by your bold accusation.

“No?? Where is this coming from??”

“I—I don’t know, I guess you… well, I just concluded that since you got all silent out of the sudden… it must’ve been because of me.” you quietly explained. “Because I disappointed you.”

“I hope to never hear that from you ever again.” Naoya frowns, his stern reaction making you further embarrassed, avoiding his gaze subsequently. He sighs.  “Lool, Y/N… I didn’t mean it that way.”

“...Just tell me. What did you not like about me? What is something I did?”

“All you’ve ever done is be perfect, so no.”

“Then what is it?” you ask once more. “Is it the assignment you told me?”

“No, that’s not it. Not at all.” Naoya quickly responds.

“Then tell me, please.” you breathe, getting desperate at the lack of answer—for every denial felt as if the knife of his indifference twisted deeper and deeper into your heart. Inching you closer to the possibility of you being the cause of such distaste, he just didn’t want you to make a scene. “If it’s something I did—”

“Seriously, stop it already, Y/N!” Naoya gasps, immediately cupping your face and forcing you to see him. You try your best to avoid his gaze to befall your teary one, but ultimately you fail at his persistence. “What do I need to say to get through that stubborn little head of yours??”

“…The truth, I guess…” you sniffed, there’s no point holding back the tears forming in your eyes anymore if they were already soaking your cheeks. “...What changed?”

Naoya swallows, already feeling like shit by having made you cry—a sight he will never forget, nor will he allow to occur once again by his own merit—worse when his heart just kept pounding loudly and painfully against his chest, a combination of his uncertainty when approaching the topic, and regret for your reaction.

But even then, he wholeheartedly prefers to deal with his embarrassment, than his guilt for having hurt the woman of his dreams.

The faster he mends this, the quicker you’ll be back to the same bubbly girl he fell in love with. Or so, he hopes.

“The truth is… I’ve been thinking about something. About that.” Naoya begins, voice trembling as he looks at you. 

“I don’t… follow.”  you say.

He swallows once more.

“The reason why I’ve been quiet is because I want to do something with you.” He quickly adds, it’s obvious by the way he speaks that he’s very nervous, fearful that you might judge him afterwards. But only if he knew… “I want… to… kiss you.”

“O—Oh!” you gasp, and suddenly, everything seemed to make sense. “Naoya, is that why—”

“Ye—yeah. And I didn't know how to bring it up without making you uncomfortable.” Naoya explains. “That’s the reason why I kept quiet. I… I never meant to upset you.”

“I… I didn’t know you were—”

“I knew it was a stupid idea, I’m moving too fast, aren’t I? You probably haven’t even considering the idea—forget I said anything—”

“No, Naoya, don’t—don’t say that.” you say, pulling his attention back to you. “Because that’s not true.”

“What do you mean?”

“...I guess I mean to say I… I’ve also considered it. I have also been thinking about it, quite often too…” you confess, embarrassed. “I’d be lying if I said otherwise…” 

“Y/N…  you mean to say you also…”

“Y—yeah, I mean… who doesn’t want to kiss their boyfriend any chance they get?” you ask. “I just didn’t bring it up because… well, I wasn't sure if you wanted to.”

“It’s all I’ve been dreaming of.” He reveals as well, your heart quickens once again. “...Did you hope it would happen today?”

“M—Maybe!” you shriek. “It’s not too soon, is it?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Naoya admits. “I think some might even say we’re running late.”

You frown. “Not that it should matter, it’s our relationship. Our decision—and I… choose to wait if you so desire.”

“I don’t want to wait anymore.” you say. “I… I want to kiss you.”

“Then let’s do it—” “But what if you don’t like it?” it’s your time to worry. “I… haven’t kissed anyone else so I don’t know what to do…”

Naoya blinks. Did he hear that right? But far from being inundated with that peculiar rush most got in a situation like this, he was greatly worried about making this a moment you’ll enjoy.

A moment he won’t ruin by his own inexperience.

“Am I to be your first?”

“I mean, I guess if you count that one time when I was 5…”

“I don’t like the thought of that.” Naoya frowns, jealous. You let out a breathy chuckle.

“It was a silly bet, Naoya. Didn’t mean anything.” But you still made the conscious decision to not tell him who it was—if this is how he got at the mere thought of someone else kissing you, you could only imagine what he’d do upon learning it was actually Satoru all along. “Not when I only want you.”

Naoya swallows, his heart skipping a beat.

“Then… what are we waiting for…?”

After a quick debate, the two end up settling for a small, nearby park to finally do what their heart’s desired, into a somewhat secluded eye where no one else would see them obnoxiously (but sweetly) try to kiss each other for the first time, yet intimate enough to persuade them into actually doing so.

Truth be told, the more you and Naoya realized how close you were to actually doing, the more… anxious you felt. To believe you were simply a few moments away from kissing your boyfriend for the first of many times… This might as well be your first kiss!

Might be Naoya’s too.

“N—now what?” you whisper, unsure how to proceed, fidgeting with his fingers.

“I—I guess we kiss.” He swallows, gently squeezing your hands. “Do I just… lean?”

“Ye—yeah.” You nod, cleaning up all the strands of hair that obstructed your face. “And I guess I’ll just… move to you.”

“Ok.” He nods, taking one last deep breath. “Then… let’s do it.”

…

…

…

“You said you would lean down, Naoya.”

“I can’t if you’re staring at me like that!”

“I’m—I’m not staring!” you cry back. “I’m just—I’m just being attentive!”

“Yes you are, you’re looking straight at me with those big eyes of yours!”

“Where am I supposed to look, then?! How am I supposed to know when to move??”

“Not me?? Close your eyes!”

“But what if you bump into me?!”

You’ve unknowingly awoken a fear within Naoya, as if the worry of your approval wasn’t enough.

“I’m not—I’m not going to bump into you.” He frowns. “Why would you even suggest something so silly… Do you know how weird you look staring right at me?”

You frown.

“…You didn’t have to be rude about it…” Naoya immediately regrets the way he spoke to you.

“No, princess, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He says, cupping your face once more. “That was just my nerves talking.”

“…I’m nervous too.”

“I know, I know. But I still want this, more than anything in the world.” Naoya adds. “So please… trust me. I promised to take care of you, didn’t I?”

You smile softly.

“You did.”

“Then just close your eyes and let me do everything else.”

“O—okay…” you nod, sighing before eventually closing your eyes, trying your best to relax and prepare for the fateful moment that would mark the beginning of this beautiful relationship.

Unaware of Naoya’s intent stares; it was almost ironic how he complained about your gaze when he was doing the very same thing now…

But he wasn’t exaggerating when stating he really wanted this. In fact, he probably wanted this much, much more than you. To finally be connected to someone that would appreciate him for who he was, not for what he represented…

Naoya never imagined a moment like this could ever happen with someone like him, like his family and it’s expectations.

Yet, it’s like he summoned you out of his thoughts and now, here you were, materialized before him and ready to give him all the love he deserved—through the adorable pout you were unwittingly doing, awaiting for his kiss, to the way you stood on your toes, your own way to help him out when he eventually leans down. Were you even aware of how adorable you were to him? If not, it just transformed his perception of you into something even lovelier.

«I won’t keep you waiting any longer» Naoya promises as he readjusted his gentle hold of your face, giving you one last smile before finally beginning to lean down towards you. Taking in your scent, your softness, your warmth…

Closing his eyes when just a few millimeters away from your lips, preparing to take in your affection, and then—

He kisses you.

Carefully and sweetly, his world is suddenly filled with color when his lips finally touch your soft ones, the very sensation he always imagined you’d have—no, this was much, much better than all he could conjure up.

It filled a void he’s been desperately craving to satisfy, the need to feel loved, cared for, needed—you gave him all that with just a simple gesture…

How could he not fall more in love with you? His life had become far more thrilling with you in it, and this was only the evidence of such.

And while it ended as a quick kiss, nothing short of inexperienced, found with some hesitance along the way… none of these things mattered in the bigger picture.

To you and Naoya, this was the official declaration of each other’s love, leaning deeper into each other’s embrace once eventually separated.

“S—so…? How—How was it?” you ask, doing your best to push down your heart from coming out your throat as you glanced up to him. “Was—was it… good?”

“Ye—yeah.” Naoya quietly admits, resting his head alongside yours. “It… tasted like ramen.”

“You—stop it! Be serious!” you fret, already a nervous mess when asking for his opinion, his comment simply made it worse!

But naturally, he was only making a slight jest of the moment, his instinctive reaction to trying to ease his jumping heart from bursting out of his chest, as you’d come to notice when placing your ear next to it—it’s the first time you’ve ever heard such quickness coming from him… enough evidence to know he enjoyed it, much to your delight.

“I like it.” he confesses, you smile, leaning deeper into his chest. “It was… much, much better than I expected.”

“I can hear that.” you giggle, hugging him tightly. “... I liked it very much too.”

“Enough to kiss me again?” he teases once more, you blush.

“I don’t know if my poor heart can take it.” you jest back. “My ears are ringing too.”

“Well, you know what they say—the more you keep doing something, the more comfortable you feel with it.” Naoya implicitly suggests.

“Are you saying…”

He nods. “...but only if you want… please.”

You grin.

After such a lovely date, and with so sweetly that he asked…

You had no other option. Not that you’d have many once Naoya grew confident enough to kiss you over and over again later on, if anything, you’d soon find yourself begging him to give you a second to breathe. It would be a miracle if he even gave you a chance to speak in between kisses!

But oh, who are you kidding? Deep within, you knew you enjoyed it, always looking forward to the moment the love of your life would come rushing to steal all your kisses away, you’d probably won’t have any to share by the end of the year!

And you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“By the way, princess. Why didn’t you want me to pick you up? It was nothing, you know? I could’ve easily gone to your house and done so.”

“Well, because I didn’t want to inconvenience you.” you say, he frowns. “I know, you just said it wouldn’t. But I also felt like taking the public transport, I haven’t used it since we got out on holiday.”

“I don’t feel comfortable with you taking the public transport, it’s… unbefitting for someone like you.”

“The public transport isn’t that bad, first of all.” You say, tightly holding his hand as the two headed towards the nearest station, time to head back home unless you wished to deal with an angry father. “...But if you really want to know… I didn’t ask you to pick me up because I didn’t want your motorcycle ruining my outfit.”

“Ruinning your outfit—really? Is that all?” He chuckles. 

“Hey, don’t judge me! And besides, you should know too! You’re quite cautious too, to put it one day.”

“I wasn't going to pick you up with the motorcycle, I have cars too, you know?”

“...A car?” you blink. “You have a car too??”

“Cars. Plural.” Naoya explains proudly. “I just choose whichever matches with what I’m wearing.”

“Naoya, I knew you had money, but that’s just ridiculous!”

“It’s our money now, actually.” He says. “All that is mine is yours; so technically the cars are yours too.”

“No Naoya, oh my god.” you gasp. “I can’t—I can’t accept that! Just what did I get myself into?!”

“Hmmm, I don’t know, I guess the best time of your life?”

You blush.

“That would be one way to put it, I guess.” You frown, making him laugh and subsequently press a kiss on your cheek, on your lips…

“As long as you’re with me, you’ll always have what you need.” He swears, pressing one last kiss on your knuckles. “Whatever you want, I’ll make sure you have it. And I won’t stop at any limit to achieve so.”

Whether he referred to love, or monetary possessions, both guided you to the same conclusion:

“I know.”

NGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Nothing was ever the same after that point; 🥺 I just... well, I hoped you liked it!! I wanted this to be as sweet and somewhat awkward as possible lol they're teenagers, after all; but not enough to ruin the experience. I hope I managed to convey that 🥹

Luckily I have another version of their first kiss so if you don't particularly enjoy this, there's always another 😏 but i'll get to that one eventually.

Now, take care, and hope you have a wonderful day!!

[cozymochi]

Mild vent. Idk. I promise it’s not as bad as last nights utter mental shattering.

I don’t know what it is.

Maybe it’s a U.S centric Gen X mindset, or a remnant Boomer one from that “pull up your bootstraps” individualism thing, and no shade to any of the ones who follow me, my only point of reference are my parents and other older adults in my immediately family, and some friends families who tend to echo the same stuff—

Maybe it’s because a lot of my older family members never got to fulfill any particular ambition of theirs and had no choice but to work in fields they hate, maybe they overestimate how things work these days, and maybe it’s just me being an outlier…

But it’s so hard to discuss jobs especially creative ones of any kind when I’m the kind of person who is just… content working beneath somebody else. Or at least within a group professionally.

I don’t really have the ambition to start any individual practice or “be my own boss” so to speak. I don’t even feel comfortable in positions where I’m in charge of myself.

I don’t disagree that if that were to happen I’d probably be competent. I just feel more at ease and in my element when I’m able to just be given a task or assignment in a group setting and just doing it. Then going home and not think about it.

And if I outwardly say that I’m just… fine in that position I’m looked at weird and getting lectured about it. It’s not like I don’t get it… and I’m sure they just want better out of me or have a positive outlook that I could “be my own boss” in a hypothetical and have my own little business and be successful. As much as I do doubt myself in most cases, I just don’t feel any connection to those proposals at all.

I legitimately do not that any desire to do those things. At least, not now nor ever in the last few years. It just doesn’t really appeal to me.

I’ve never even got my foot in the door in a normal way yet to even know if a leap like that would work or is something I want.

I just know I’m genuinely more content just being given a task, doing it well (regardless if it ever surfaces, most don’t), and moving onto the next thing. I’m usually at my best there.

It’s a weird spot when I’m told that I can allegedly do “anything”, but when I say I just want to remain low key and I’m fine working under someone else, that suddenly isn’t a viable thing to be okay with.

“Oh you don’t wanna do THAT-“ “why dont you do this instead??” “im sure you could do this that and third and have your own —“ meanwhile I know every single one of them wanted that self sufficient whatever for themselves but never got it.

And it’s not like I’m not blind enough to see how hard, insular, exploitative and under-appreciated creative fields can be (and downright abusive, even).

I just… don’t have an urge nor want to do the most “ideal” and individualistic thing ever. I know what they’re saying is out of this idealized positivity, I get it. It’s not like I was the happiest person on earth with my old non-creative 9-5 job, yeah I would rather have been putting my skills to use, but I also don’t have much interest in being some kind of independent art business owner. Whatever that would entail. (the homies were even talking con booths and junk, like, sure hypothetically it sounds neat and shoutout to those who do it, but it’s not for me…)

I’m just… fine not shooting that high, nor being that notable. But I also didn’t hate my old job setup either. I wasn’t always excited to go in (who even is), but I didn’t hate it. I was pretty fine just …working.

Not that it matters. I don’t have a foot in that door anyway.

I don’t know. I don’t remember my point at all.

I’ll be rid of this later.

[anamericangirl]

I found this reblogged by an artist I follow and really, really like, not just as an artist, but as a person.

She's even called my her friend before.

She also has this in her pinned post: "This is a safe place for everyone to enjoy what they want without judgement. I don't mind who enjoys my content and who does not." I kinda figured that might have been a lie because a lot of people who claim they're "tolerant" are really only tolerant to people they already agree with, but I couldn't know for sure if that was true in this case or not.

I'm honestly genuinely really upset and don't know what to do. :'( Any advice?

It’s become pretty obvious over the last few years that anyone who describes their blog as a “safe place” means that it’s a safe place for left wing minorities who all have the same opinions and don’t have to worry about the mean scary conservatives so anytime I see a message like that I pretty much immediately know it doesn’t apply to me and that the person who wrote it will not like me.

And like you’ve seen, most of the time they don’t even mean because they turn right around and post the most mean spirited judgmental things without even hearing people out and trying to make them feel bad and unwelcome. It’s incredibly hypocritical.

Now, it’s a lot harder to move past that when it’s someone you’re close to or consider a friend. Like I can deal with people calling me Nazis all day long but when it comes from someone in my family it hurts a little bit. So I understand being caught off guard and feeling upset. It’s a really mean message.

Right now tensions are still really high. It’s only two days since the election and the Kamala voters are still dealing with the fact that they lost. They’re upset and angry and we all already know the only way they deal with their problems and emotions is by lashing out at those around them.

If it were me, I might give her some time to calm down. If she is able to move on from this I’m sure she’ll go back to her once pleasant self and you might even be able to gently approach her on the subject. People need to understand it’s not ok to talk about others like that just because you’re mad.

If this is a friendship that’s important to you then don’t give up on it. Just try to be patient, kind and understanding and be living proof that she’s wrong. On the other hand, if you don’t think she is the kind of person who will see reason and is going to live out the behavior of that post you are not obligated to subject yourself to such treatment because you don’t deserve it.