#some stuff is extreme enough for me to go to the er or something like that kidney stone

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Anybody else have an instance where their shoulder was bent weird while doing something and it felt like it was out of place but you could still use it and popped it right back but now it does that same thing every once in awhile and you’re starting to wonder if you dislocated it and healed it wrong?

[helloalycia]

the Clarks [five] // alicia clark

summary: you go on a supply run with Alicia and things don't go to plan, leaving her extremely pissed off at you. It takes a reality check for you to understand why.

warning/s: mentions of the dead, injuries, weapons and violence.

author’s note: and this is the final part! such a fun one to write and i do hope the person who requested it liked it! kinda went overboard but you all know the drill with me by now 😂

one / two / three / four / masterlist / wattpad

After being busied by chores and odd jobs around the stadium and then eating lunch, it was soon time to go on the supply run with the others. Alicia and I met the other two residents by the truck out front and we all made sure we were armed before heading out.

"This strip mall we're heading to should be clear enough, but we haven't had a team check it out in a while, so everyone be on high alert," Alicia warned everyone on the drive over. "Only go after the essentials, if there's any left. Ideally, some more clothes and shoes – stuff like that."

Everybody agreed, a focus in mind, and it was silent the rest of the way. Eventually, we arrived at the abandoned strip mall and Alicia pulled up, the four of us splitting into twos. They took to one side as Alicia and I took to the other.

Unfortunately for me, my thoughts were still on Rick and Alicia earlier, their flirting engraved in my mind and my jealousy still in full throttle. I couldn't help but bring it up.

"So, Madison and I were talking about the new residents earlier," I started, trying to make it sound natural. "Lots of good people joining us, don't you think?"

Alicia hummed as she kept her eyes peeled. "Sure is. It's amazing how big our little community has become."

I nodded in agreement, my grip on my knife tightening. "Yeah. New girl Sally is pretty friendly. Her kid's cute, too."

"Aw, yeah, he's adorable!" Alicia agreed with a smile.

"Yeah... there's Rick, too. What do–" I cleared my throat nervously. "What d'you think of him?"

She thought to herself, distracted by looking into the shop windows. "He's nice enough, I suppose. A bit too flirty for my liking, but nice. Definitely skilled with a knife."

What did that mean? She didn't like his flirty-ness? She did? God's sake, I needed more than that.

"Why? Did he say something?" she asked with confusion, glancing over at me.

I perked up, meeting her confused eyes. "What? No, no. Just wondering. I, er, thought the same."

She began to smile, unsure what I was doing, but nodded. "Right... weirdo."

Thankfully, she got distracted by a small thrift store and nudged me to follow her, and the conversation was dropped. There was lots of options to pick from, since it wasn't looted to the bare bones like other stores were, so we gathered what we could and loaded the truck.

Between that and the few others store, we managed to gather quite a few supplies, odd assortments of things but all that would benefit the stadium in the long run. As we were heading back to the truck, Alicia slowed down to look in the window display of a jewellery store. It looked pretty banged up on the inside, no doubt one of the first places to be looted back when the outbreak began, but Alicia was still intrigued.

"There's probably nothing worthwhile in there," I told her, but she was still up close to the glass, smiling at the rings on display.

"It's still pretty to look at," she pointed out lightheartedly, shooting me a smile before returning her attention to the rings.

Something about how excited she was for the moment made me smile to myself and I couldn't just leave it like this. She clearly wanted it.

"Then what are we waiting for?" I suddenly said, straightening up and going to the door.

There was a couch blocking the doorway, clearly put there by whoever had been here last, but it wasn't going to stop me. I began to lean against it in an attempt to push it out the way.

"Y/N, what are you–? Stop it, what if there's someone in there?" she followed after me, half scolding me and half worried.

"Only one way to find out," I said with a shrug, before finding enough strength to shove the couch forward, and it hit the tiled floor with a loud bang.

"Y/N," Alicia groaned at all the noise, but I ignored her and stepped over the couch to let myself in, before yanking open the other door so she wouldn't have to.

"After you," I said playfully, stepping to the side.

She fixed me with a disapproving stare but walked in, looking around. It was ransacked in there, as expected, but there were a few pieces of jewellery still on the shelves. We took a look around, Alicia warming up once she studied the displays. I could have watched her all day, the beautiful smile on her lips that matched the dazzle in her eyes. Seeing her happy was my favourite thing, as lame as it sounded.

"Okay, maybe you weren't that stupid to come in here," she admitted as we looked around.

"Let's not forget why we came here in the first place," I said with a smile, before leading her to the display window. "This one, right?"

I pulled out the ring from the display, a simple silver band with a gemstone embedded within the the metal. Holding it out to her, I tried to put it on her finger, but it was huge and would have fallen right off if I didn't catch it.

"Well, that was short lived," she said with a sigh, before trying not to laugh as she met my eyes. "Thanks anyway, Y/N. It was a sweet thought."

Unimpressed, I shook my head. "No way. That can't be it." I looked around, before my eyes fell to the stock room in the back. "Aha! There's gotta be more stuff back there. Let me have a look."

"Y/N.”

"Just give me a sec," I told her, before taking the ring with me and heading to the door.

Luckily, it was unlocked and I was able to walk right into a small closet-sized space that had an old, wooden shelf against one wall, full of stock.

"Alicia, I might need you to help me because there's a–" I began to call to her, but I was cut off by intense snarling from my right, and then something grabbed me.

I let out a yelp when I realised it was an infected man, the limited light from the front of the store shining through the door and letting me see his horrendous face. He must have been hiding behind a shelf, too late for me to see, and I struggled against him in the small space.

"Y/N!" I heard Alicia call, but I couldn't reply because if I moved my attention away for even a second, I was sure I'd get bitten.

He was so close to me – hot breath and rancid smell blinding me and burning my nose – that I couldn't find an opening to stab him with the knife in my hand. As I took a swing, he toppled right into me, knocking me backwards and to the floor with a thud. My head took the brunt of it, dazing me momentarily, but the snapping face coming at mine brought me back to reality and I just about managed to grab my knife again, stabbing him in the head before he could do any damage.

A second passed and his snarling ceased and I sighed with relief, feeling dizzy in the head. That's when I heard the creaking coming from my feet, and when I shoved the infected off my body, it was too late. The shelf against the wall suddenly toppled over, everything falling off and hitting the floor around me before the heavy shelf itself landed right on my leg, making me scream at the impact.

"No, no, no, no," Alicia suddenly appeared, taking in the scene, before scrambling for her radio and calling the others. "Guys, I need you at the jewellery store now! Y/N's hurt."

I forced myself to sit up, wincing at the shelf that was trapping my leg, and didn't move another muscle because it was too painful.

"You're such an idiot!" Alicia shouted at me, before kneeling down to grab the shelf. "I told you not to come here!"

As she attempted to lift it, I let out another shout of pain because she wasn't strong enough by herself and it was only making it worse. My leg was definitely broken and I wanted to throw up at how strong the pain was, but I forced my eyes shut and tried to push it away.

"You're so fucking stupid!" she continued to curse me out, but the worry in her voice was obvious. "I told you there'd be infected here!"

As much as I loved a good grilling, my head was still throbbing from before and I was still feeling dizzy, leaning on my arm to steady myself in the spinning room.

Finally, the others turned up and, between the three of them, they managed to lift the shelf up long enough for me to crawl out of it. My leg was definitely fucked though.

Alicia rushed to my side to help me stand, but I was nauseous as soon as I did and couldn't say anything for fear I'd throw up there and then.

"You didn't get bitten, right?" she asked, panicked and checking my face and neck.

I shook my head slowly, leaning my weight against her. "I think I'm gonna pass out, Alicia..."

"Help me get her to the truck," Alicia ordered the others.

After making it back to the truck, just about, we drove back to the stadium speedily, each slight bump making my stomach turn and head throb. Before I knew it, I was in the medbay back at the stadium, being sat upright on a bed and struggling to ease the dizziness.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Nick asked a nurse we had.

A bright light was shone in both my eyes, irritating me, and then the nurse replied, "She's got a mild concussion. Possibly a broken leg. But she'll live."

Nick grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently, and then my moment of peace was ruined when Alicia burst through the door with Madison in tow.

"You fucking fool!" Alicia suddenly snapped at me, glaring ferociously. "You could have died! And for what?! A fucking ring?!"

I winced at every word, her words ringing in my ear.

"She's concussed, Alicia," Nick told her sternly. "You're not helping!"

Alicia clenched her jaw, eyes full of tears, and after glaring at me once more, she left the room, slamming the door behind her. I jumped at the sound, surprised at how angry she was at me. Nick gave me a disapproving look but said nothing, and all I kept thinking was how badly I'd messed up.

After being checked out by the nurse fully and having some medication, I fell asleep with a broken but bandaged leg that I couldn't put weight on for a while. I woke up to Nick by my side, who immediately gave me some water and helped me sit upright.

The look he was giving me wasn't easy to ignore, so after downing my pills, I returned his stare.

"What?"

He blinked. "Y/N, what happened out there? Alicia is pissed."

I sighed, Alicia's angry expression imprinted in my mind. "We were at a jewellery store and I went in the back. There was an infected I didn't see, that's all. It got out of hand, but I handled it."

"Handled it?" he asked with exasperation. "You broke your leg and got a concussion!"

"Only a mild concussion," I corrected, before adding, "and I'm alive, aren't I?"

He shook his head, annoyed. "You have to be careful, you idiot. Your life isn't worth some stupid jewellery. Why were you even in there? We don't need that stuff here."

Feeling bad for worrying him, I said, "Alicia wanted to look and I just– I thought it would be nice, y'know? Make things feel a little normal again."

He sighed, his head in his hands. I frowned slightly, the guilt sinking in.

"Is she still mad? I asked, hoping she'd have cooled off by now.

"Uh-huh."

I chewed on my lip nervously, wondering how I'd get her to forgive me. Nick left to go and get Madison, who wanted to be called in when I'd woken up, and I hoped Alicia would stop by, too. But the blonde turned up alone.

"Madison," I breathed out, still happy to see her, even though she didn't look impressed.

"I'll save you the lecture," she began, taking my hand in hers, "but it was pretty stupid."

"I know," I agreed tiredly. "I'm sorry."

To my relief, she really did save me the lecture, instead squeezing my hand comfortingly.

"Is, er, is Alicia coming?" I asked lamely. "I wanted to apologise to her."

Madison smiled apologetically. "Maybe not so soon, hon. She's really angry."

"Right. I guess that's fair."

I had hoped to see Alicia over the next day when I was kept in the medbay, expecting her to at least visit me, even if it was just to shout at me, but she didn't. It stung a little, but I also felt horrible knowing that I'd pissed her off this much.

When I was finally allowed to leave, with the aid of some crutches, the first place I headed was to Alicia's quarters to pay her a visit. I knocked on nervously, anticipating what could happen, and then the door opened to reveal the Clark girl.

"Hey, remember me?" I joked, hoping to lighten the mood, and she simply rolled her eyes, about to close the door in my face.

"Wait!" I said, sticking my crutch in the way, and she stopped.

"What?" she snapped, green eyes darkened with fury.

Losing my humour, I met her eyes. "You didn't visit me."

"If I did, I would have strangled you."

Licking my lips at the awkwardness, I said, "Alicia, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. But I thought you'd at least–"

I went quiet. Well, I thought she'd at least visit. She'd never been this mad before, not at me and not for something so minor. And the longer I fell quiet, the more her jaw clenched and she stared daggers into my eyes.

"Can we please just forget it happened?" I asked instead. "Move on?"

Without another second wasted, she said, "Whatever," then closed the door in my face.

I stared at it in awe, stunned at her behaviour. How could she still be mad at me, even after apologising?

Unsure what else to do, I left her place to go and sulk in the stadium's stands which were empty. What else could I possibly do for Alicia to forgive me? I understood I worried her, but I literally apologised and I was okay! She'd never been so mad at me before...

As I got lost in thoughts of the green-eyed girl, sulking and thinking and wondering what I could do, I almost missed Madison finding me and joining my side.

"You seen Alicia?" she asked, knowing I was going to talk to her daughter earlier. "How'd it go?"

I shook my head, still surprised at what occurred. "Not good at all. She's still so angry and I just– I don't understand why! It was an accident, Madison, and I apologised!"

Madison glanced at me from the seat beside me, quirking a brow, and I was even more confused.

"What?" I asked. What had I missed?

She sighed heavily, earning my attention, and looked me in the eyes. "Y/N, hon, I'm saying this with love," she started, "but you're so blind to what's in front of you."

Blind, and apparently lost too since I had no idea what she was talking about. She must have noticed, as she rolled her eyes with impatience.

"Alicia cares about you," she said in a knowing tone.

"I know that."

Closing her eyes with pursed lips, she waited a moment before clarifying, "No. She's in love with you, Y/N. She's been in love with you since you were kids. Of course she's angry, but she's mostly hurt. You almost died over something so stupid! Why else would she be like this?"

My jaw dropped as I stammered to find words. "What? She– what– how do you know that?"

Alicia being in love with me? There was no way that could be true. I refused to believe it.

"I know my daughter, very well," she said like it was obvious, before resting a hand on my knee. "And I know you, too. You feel the same, Y/N."

Immediately growing flustered, I avoided her eyes. She knew? How the hell did she know? I was certain I'd hidden it well. I couldn't have hidden it better!

Oh, God, she knew I was in love with her daughter.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed," she suddenly said with a quiet laugh, "it's okay!"

Horrified, I swallowed hard, knowing my face felt as hot as the sun right now. What did I even respond to that?

"I did think you'd have said something to her by now," Madison added. "It's a lot, I know. But, maybe, it's time you came clean and reassured her. Because, quite frankly, I'm sick of watching you both not do anything about it."

If Madison was right about me being in love with Alicia, then surely she was right about Alicia being in love with me? And if that were true, then... holy shit. I guess it made sense why Alicia was so angry at me – or upset, I now realised.

I couldn't find words, not when the confession was shocking me to the core, so I simply nodded slowly in response. At least Madison seemed to be okay with it, the whole me liking her daughter thing.

"You're gonna be fine," she assured me with a small smile, before squeezing my knee and getting up. "I'll leave you to it. Remember to rest your leg, Y/N."

It took me a while to accept the fact that maybe Madison had been right, myself reliving every interaction I'd ever had with Alicia since I met her, overanalysing and trying to gauge whether she may have cared about me like I did her. Two days to be exact, in which Alicia avoided me completely.

When I finally decided enough was enough, I went straight over to visit Alicia with the hope of finding enough courage to either tell her how I felt or get it out of her first. Clearly I was too scared to tell her myself all these years, so I wasn't too convinced it would go to plan.

I found her at her quarters again, an old dugout converted into a room for her, and knocked on as confidently as I could muster. As soon as she opened the door, her expression hardened and she narrowed her eyes at me.

"I just wanna talk," I said before she could think to close the door on me.

"About what exactly?" she asked, her anger still as fresh as it was from two days ago. "About how idiotic you were trying to get a ring?"

Remaining calm, I said, "I just wanted to get it for you, Alicia. Give you a sense of normalcy again and–"

"I didn't ask you to do that!" she exclaimed, before scoffing at me angrily and walking further into her room.

Reluctantly, I stepped inside and tried to defend myself. "I know you didn't, but I wanted to! You seemed to like the display and I thought–"

"I don't give a fuck about a ring!" she shouted, glaring at me, and this time her hurt was present. "It wasn't worth dying over! I care if you're fucking alive! That you're safe!"

The guilt returning yet again, I nodded in understanding. "You're right. I get it. I'm sorry, Alicia."

"No, you don't get it," she retorted, frustration being replaced with worry. "D'you know how– how scary it was watching you back there? Hearing you scream and then seeing you– fuck! Seeing you look so– so fragile? And now look at you! Walking on fucking crutches!"

I chose to stay quiet as she continued to rant, my guilt deepening as she spoke her fears aloud.

"You can be so careless sometimes!" she added, a frown on her lips and glassy eyes darting between mine. "Though, I suppose that's why you're Nick's friend, right? He does the same fucking thing!"

"I won't do it again," I promised her. "I'll think next time."

"Yeah, I hope so," she said bitterly, crossing her arms.

I watched her closely, searching for a semblance of what I hoped to find. "I didn't think you cared so much."

My nerves were creeping in and I so desperately hoped she'd admit her feelings first, so I wouldn't have to.

She looked at me, face flushing shyly before looking away and playing it cool. "Of course I do. You're family. And Nick's best friend."

I waited momentarily, wanting her to say it, but she didn't. And I foolishly couldn't. I was too scared to put myself out there, even after all this time.

Unable to hide my frown, I nodded. "That it?"

She met my gaze, confused. "What else?"

Now it was my turn to grow shy and embarrassed, and I looked away, feeling a little humiliated. It wasn't Alicia's fault at all – she couldn't help how I felt. And maybe Madison had gotten it wrong.

Changing the subject, I shook my head. "Never mind. Sorry again."

I turned to leave, feeling her eyes bore a hole in my back, and somehow I knew that when I walked out of this door, there would never be another chance to tell her how I felt. After all this time, even if she didn't feel the same, maybe I should have finally come clean like Madison said. If I did and we could get over it, maybe I could finally move on?

"Actually no," I said, suddenly feeling an adrenaline rush as I turned around to face her. "I'm not sorry."

She quirked a brow. "Excuse me?"

I sucked up a breath and held her gaze, despite a part of me wanting to leave and never speak again. "I'm not sorry. Not for trying to get that ring. For worrying you, yes, but not the ring."

"Wow, thanks," she said sarcastically, but I didn't let it get to me.

"You wanted that ring," I reminded her. "You looked in that store window and you saw something normal and I wanted to give it to you. I'm not sorry about that. I went in there for you and, yes, you didn't ask me to, Alicia, but you didn't need to. I wanted to! To make you happy, I would do anything. I thought you knew that by now, but maybe I didn't make it clear enough."

Her expression softened as her eyes widened slightly. "What are you saying?"

Now or never, right?

"I'm in love with you, Alicia," I stated with all the confidence left in me. "I have been, since we were kids and since I was old enough to know what love is. And I've been terrified to admit it aloud, especially to you, but I can't keep it to myself anymore. I didn't mean to worry your or upset you or make you so angry, you have to know that."

She didn't say anything as she seemed to digest my confession, and the longer she stared at me without any indication to how she was feeling, the more stupid I felt.

"I can get over it," I told her with a small smile, avoiding her eyes. "You don't need to take this on or anything. I just– I had to tell you. If I've made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry and you have every right to stop talking to me."

"No, just–" she started, and I held my breath as she struggled to speak. "You're in love with me?"

"...Yes."

"I'm in love with you," she admitted, and I could have sworn I misheard until she repeated, "I'm in love with you, too."

"You're in love with me."

"I am," she said softly. "Why didn't you– why didn't you say anything all this time?"

I raised my brows. "Me? Why didn't you?"

She scoffed. "Seriously? I'm your best friend's little sister. How was I supposed to?"

"Exactly," I agreed. "You're my best friend's little sister. How was I supposed to?"

Her eyes flickered between mine. "Like you did just now."

My heart was thumping so loudly I was surprised she couldn't hear it in the quiet of her room. Now what?

"I care about you a lot because I'm in love with you," she said, stepping forward and shakily lifting her hand to cup my cheek. "I don't want you doing stupid stuff that could get you killed. Especially not for me."

"If I had known it was dangerous, I wouldn't have gone in," I told her seriously. "I promised you I wouldn't leave you. I meant it."

She tensed her jaw as she lowered her hand, resting it on my shoulder. "I'm sorry I got so angry and upset. I shouldn't have reacted like that, especially after you got hurt. I just– seeing you like that and knowing it could have been worse, it just– It was frustrating. And I didn't know how to express that, not without revealing how I felt about you."

"Yeah, I kinda thought I fucked everything up when you didn't stop by for a visit," I said, in an attempt to lighten the mood, and it seemed to work as she cracked a small smile.

"I should have visited," she said apologetically. "And I should have told you how I felt."

"Me too," I said gently.

She looked at her hand on my shoulder, avoiding my eyes, and I couldn't stop staring at her as she did. She felt the same way. How could that be possible? How had I missed it?

"Now what?" she murmured.

"Now..." I paused, making her eyes flicker to mine momentarily, hopefully. And, still on a high from being able to admit the truth, I asked, "Can I kiss you?"

She pressed her lips together, nodding slowly, and then I leaned in before I could stop myself, wrapping my crutch and arm around her waist to pull her even close. Her figure fit perfectly in my arms; her lips were as soft as I could have imagined; her fingers left goosebumps across my skin where she caressed my cheek. This was all I'd ever wanted, and now I finally had it.

We pulled apart for air and I was afraid that if I opened my eyes, she wouldn't be there and I'd have imagined it all.

"Y/N?"

I opened my eyes, only to be submerged in golden-green. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

I lifted an eyebrow. "For?"

She didn't falter as she said, "For being here for me all this time. For not leaving. For keeping your promise."

I stroked her waist with my thumb subconsciously, eyes flickering all over her face, committing it to memory, and then a smile curled on my lips. "You don't know how much you've done for me, do you? We're even, Alicia."

She began to smile too, making butterflies blossom in my chest, and then just like that, she pressed her lips to mine and I was in heaven once more.

Looks like Madison was right after all.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Deuce, Malleus: My Dream, to Defend

I now read everything Malleus says as extremely ominous and foreboding (knowing the context of book 7) 👨 THEY’RE ALL RED FLAGS 🚩, YOUR HONOR *proceeds to perpetuate the red flags by giving Malleus reasonably optimistic but also ominous-in-the-right-context dialogue*

Also??? Why are Ace and Deuce's faces on their birthday cards so similar 😂 They kinda match, even their Groovies (they kind of look like they're racing each other!)… cute

A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.

“What makes you glad you can use magic?”

Malleus paused, pondering the question. “What an odd inquiry.”

“For Malleus-senpai, yeah. You use magic for almost everything! It must be hard to just pick one thing about it that makes you go, 'I'm thankful for this!'. But for me…” Deuce tilted his head back, looking up to the structure that loomed over them.

It was the main building of the campus, housing numerous classrooms and offices. Regal and imposing, with several turreted towers and balconies, it was less an academic institution and more like a castle. A castle where dreams and wishes came true. Among them, his--if he worked hard enough.

"I'm happy that I got into Night Raven College," he said earnestly. "I never thought I had the magic potential to make it to a place like this, but here I am... standing at the steps."

Malleus's mouth curled. "What a surprise. Many of the students I've encountered here are the self-assured types. If I may ask... Why is it that you did not believe yourself worthy to stand among us here?"

"Long story short, I was kind of a delinquent back then. I'd use my magic to get up to no good. Y'know, laying the smackdown on anyone that talked shit or looked at me the wrong way."

"... 'Lay the smackdown'? 'Talked shit'? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with such colloquialisms."

"Er, it sounds really wrong hearing those words come from you... Basically, it means 'fighting' and, 'when people say bad things about you'. Got it?"

"I understand. Perhaps I will take care to incorporate such terms into my vocabulary. It may even make me appear more approachable to others."

"AHHHH!!!" Deuce startled, frantically waving his hands to silence his interviewer. "M-Maybe that's not such a good idea!! I think Sebek'd tackle me to the ground and kill me on the spot for teaching you bad words..."

"Fufufu, I jest."

"A-Are you really...?"

"Of course. Please, continue sharing your story." Malleus gestured for him to proceed. "Pray tell, why is it that you became entangled in such affairs?"

"Lots of stuff," Deuce said vaguely. "Mostly because I stood out. Didn't really fit in. It was easier to take out my frustrations on others than to work on myself.

"When my magic came to me, it was helpful to have in fights. It would drive some people off, and they'd leave me alone. They were scared of getting crushed again by a cauldron."

"Scared, you say... Hmm." Malleus looked pensive. "I see. So there are cases where non-mages feel threatened by the existence of mages."

"Huh?!" Deuce stared at him, eyes bulging. "That never occurred to you before, senpai?!"

"Magic comes naturally to me. It is capable of blessings and miracles. I cannot imagine why anyone would fear it."

"Well, I think it's because magic can do good things, but it can also do bad things.”

“Good and bad…” Malleus’s brows crinkled as the considered the thought, a finger to his chin.

Deuce’s stomach dropped at the sight. “Did I speak out of turn?! Y-You don’t have to listen to what I said if you don’t want to, senpai! Forget me, wh-what do I know anyway?!”

“… No, not at all. I was just thinking about your words. It reminds me of something my grandmother told me.”

“Eh, your grandma? Y-You don’t mean the queen of Briar Valley? I… reminded you of her?” Deuce squealed, afraid to speak her name.

“Yes, she.” Malleus’s eyes darkened, resembling a storm right before lightning struck. “Grandmother says that we Draconias were gifted with great powers—and with it, great responsibility to our people and their smiles. It is with this power that we are able to protect our country.

“Is it not similar for magic in general? The wielder is the one who determines whether one’s magic is used for ‘good’ or for ‘bad’ means. In which case… it is up to each of us to use what we have for ‘good’.”

“Draconia-senpai…!!” Deuce clutched a fist to his heart. A smile was at his lips, his eyes shining. “You get me!! I… I want to use my magic for things like that! To defend my friends and my family…!!”

“That is the way.” Malleus smirked, relishing in the newfound fire in his junior’s eyes. “The power to protect those you love is within your own hands. All you must do is shape it, guide it… and make that dream come true, regardless of the obstacles that may cross your path.”

“I’ll do my best!! If there’s one thing I know I’m good at, it’s being stubborn!”

“That kind of persistence is unique to you.” Malleus showed his teeth. “Take pride in that, Spade.”

"You bet I will!!"

"... Incidentally, how do you fare in Defense Magic?"

"Urk!!" The birthday boy visibly deflated--an indication of his answer. "N-Not the best... I studied as much as I could, but still barely passed my last exam. But don't worry about me, Draconia-senpai!!"

Deuce pointed at his temple. "I'll train my brain even more so I can get at least a C next time!!"

A C... so he means to say that he earned a D on his previous exam.

A low laugh rumbled out of Malleus. “How truly tenacious of you, Spade. I wish you the best of luck on that journey.”

He lifted a hand, fingers curling around the milky orb floating in the sky. The wind rustled upon his command, ushering in a cool breeze that chased off the bleating heat of summer.

“The birthday road, and your future, awaits.”

“Yes!! I’m on my way!!” Deuce eagerly mounted his broom. His knees were tucked together tightly, stiffly securing the handle.

“Ah, and Spade. One more thing.”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“When the times comes,” Malleus said with an easy smile, “you are free to defend yourself against my magic.”

Deuce nearly fell off of his broom at the suggestion. “Whaaat?! There’s no way I’d be able to hold up against your magic…! I’ll be just a pile of ashes by the time you’re done with…”

He caught himself and stopped. A deep breath taken, and then he set his jaw. The peacock green of his eyes had dimmed into a shade more serious.

“… No. I… I just told you that I wanted to be the kind of guy who’s capable of defending the people he loves. That means no running away, even if I’m scared, even if I know I might not win! That’s my promise to myself.”

“Fufu, that’s what I like to hear. I will be expecting you sometime then.”

Deuce gulped. “Got it! I’ll face your challenge and my future… head-on!!”

FwooooOOOSH!!

A steady wind kicked up, starting small and growing into a powerful gale. Deuce yelped as his broom bucked forward, inching above the ground on only a few startled sparkles. He looked back in horror, only to find Malleus chuckling into a hand.

Had that been a magical push?

“Heh, so that’s how it’s gonna be?” A wicked glint had surfaced in Deuce, from the eyes to his grin. “I’ll show you just how I ride…!”

Gripping the handle tightly, he leaned forward, bracing himself for a familiar rush. Height wasn’t his goal, but speed.

The world stilled. His senses sharpened, his thoughts growing louder, more insistent.

Imagine a magical wheel. Think of becoming one with the wind. So fast that you’re not yourself anymore.

He blasted off, a tornado of swirling blue petals left where he had once been. Flitting down lazily, drunken on the moonlight, they were the mark of a speed demon reborn.

The past, far behind him.

[cemetery-irises]

Blorbotagging the song again!! May repeat some of the points said before but I'm thinking of a different scenario than the original analysis now.

At the start of the breakdown, he's already starting to blurt out whatever's in his brain, but he's stable enough to lament the fact that it's happening. He wants to think about what he wants to say but his tongue is too loose for comfort.

This is his memory of him and The Hermit's "first meeting". Alva would likely slip up in his persona at some points since he already knows Luca extremely well, and already knowing Luca's name probably is something he overlooked at first, until Luca brought it up. Luca was probably scrambling to figure out if he'd actually met the Hermit before (he has, but not in the manor) until they realise Oh Shit I should ask him questions and stuff

Ironically, he remembers how Alva was more than he remembers himself, but he doesn't remember the right parts. He remembers Alva was an overwork-er who barely spent time apart from his invention, and Luca emulates that behaviour no matter how many times in the past Alva tried to make sure he didn't fall into that unhealthy pattern. He remembers Alva was smart, charming and comforting to be around, but he doesn't know how to be any of those, so he stumbles into his own way of doing it, no matter how un-alva-y he may be acting.

This fits him """stealing the manuscripts""" as I said before, but it also works for him scrambling to pick up the pieces of himself.

[I never meant to disappoint, I genuinely thought I was smart and charming unlike how I am now. / Am I like Alva now? I feel like there's so much I'm missing... Maybe I should r-read my diary. again. / If you compliment me on something, I'm going to do it over and over again. I need to do the things that people think I do well. I have to be perfect at what I like to do, right? Otherwise I'm not how I was. (I'll never be him I'll never be him I'll never be him never never never never—)]

{repeated lyrics but want to highlight the top and bottom lines specifically}

Luca idolises everyone he cares about, because "they all know who they are and what they're doing! T-their heads aren't broken! like mine! ...I-i should be proud of them, w-why am I... crying...?"

And the mask he puts on to reflect everyone, ESPECIALLY towards Alva, is mostly to try in vain to mask his brain damage. He doesn't want to look stupid, he doesn't want to feel stupid, please just let his words come out how he wants them to, please please please please PLEASE-

He's scared of Alva figuring out that his son is useless now, meanwhile Alva has already figured it out and disappointment in him is probably the FURTHEST emotion to what Alva feels.

This part of the song is a slow moment of relief before everything slams into him. He really will do whatever it takes. He tries to make himself steady but he sees Alva worried over him for no clear reason because "w-why are you so proud of me?! I-I'm broken!! I'm ruined!!!!"

He shatters.

He desperately tries to use the repetition to ground himself and get a good footing on his brain, but all it succeeds in is dragging him further and further and further down his spiral.

Eventually it somehow devolves further into a cascade of "like you" because he just wants Alva to understand how much he's fucking trying to be like them. Trying to be smart, loved, worth anything at all.

(also the final tight spiral at the end before he hits the bottom with the "how I just wanna be just like you, like you, like you, like you, like You, Like You, Like YOU, LIKE—")

god i am fucking. EATING THIS OLLIE ISTG /VVPOS

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Sorry if this starts a new thread but I am thinking so hard about the crew Jonny traveled with to Europe.... On average a voyage like that would take 6-10 weeks, if the weather treated them well. (It could even take longer, in the 1600s it would've been around three months even, but travel advanced a little by the Beauty and the Beast era obviously.) I'd assume the trip took at least two months, if not more, and Jonny was probably there for most of it if, when the ship went down, he was close enough to shore to wash up. (Also, need to talk about how so not fun being washed up from a ship wreck likely is... That boy is gonna be battered and bruised and broken, broken bones and cuts are so likely considering the waves and probable shore being more rocky than sandy, and he could've easily developed hypothermia and/or pneumonia. Just to throw in more angst or hurt comfort stuff with the realism.) Point being, he probably had a chance to get close with some or all of the crew.

Idk what kind of sailors these are, to be specific. I'm kinda ruling out government officials or any type of warship or military vessel, obviously. It was probably a type of merchant ship (meant to transport goods and sometimes passengers), and Jonny just stowed away because he was terrified hated the idea of being caught after killing his dad and stuff. I do think the idea of it being a pirate ship (it was likely during or right after the golden age of piracy when this all happened) is extremely funny, mainly if the crew was very chill. Also, while a merchant ship is more likely to me, a very chill pirate crew might have less qualms about a trans masc murdering twelve year old than a typical merchant ship crew (possibly, at least. Maybe the merchant crew it very cool, maybe the pirates are genuinely assholes instead). Also, pirates probably pose as normal merchants plenty.

Thinking specifically about Jonny knowing he's a boy, but never being allowed to change or express that with his birth parents. Everyone he killed (including his father) could've easily been when he was more femme presenting, so running away, he might now have a better chance as presenting more masculine, and it's kinda helpful to have a new identity when you're on the run from the law. Also, whether it cool pirates or very anti government merchants, the idea of certain crew members knowing this and helping him pass better is just..... gonna tear my heart out. (Picturing he had long hair that he messily chopped away at with a knife, and later on a crew member offering to clean the cut up a bit.... and it does kinda grow out during the trip but Jonny doesn't mind...... idk chewing and tearing at that.)

Just thinking about Jonny developing a close relationship with some of the crew... Feel like some of the crew members might not be the greatest but Jonny gets close with a select few on board. Just thinking about that only for it to be torn away before they reach land. Idk pissing myself off over something I made up in my brain... (its entirely possible for other people to survive the wreck, too, but how likely is it that Jonny knew they survived, or that anyone else knew Jonny did, you know?)

I dunno just going insane. Tagging partners in crime er writing @blazeismyname and @unsat-and-strange for y'alls thoughts

[syilcawrites]

1 word prompt: paragliding :) or whistle! or spices. pick what gets the creative juices flowing

congrats on 500!

This has been sitting in my inbox for so long.......... I'm so sorry for the extremely super duper long wait, I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN IT!! I had major writer's block with this but today is the day I finally send u something!!!

Thank u nathaniacolver for the ask!!

Summary: Link and Zelda have been staying in Kakariko for a few days and crave a pumpkin-filled meal. After buying a pumpkin from Olkin and heading to High Produce Spirits for some spice, they run into the store owner's husband—Steen—Olkin's produce rival! In a desperate attempt to hide the pumpkin they bought, Zelda stuffs the small pumpkin under her shirt... causing a grave misunderstanding.

ao3

"We've got all sorts of pumpkins! Like ah… like this big ol' fortified pumpkin. And then there's this little one right here and-and this perfectly shaped fortified pumpkin over there in the corner. It's one of my bestsellers, promise."

Zelda blinks once, then twice, but her perfect smile remains unwavered on her face. "You have a delightful array of… of selections!" she says enthusiastically, "so much that it's hard to really choose… which one to get." Zelda nudges Link with her elbow.

"Oh, uh…" Link rubs the spot where Zelda had jabbed him. "No preference?" he murmurs to her. She shakes her head. "Yeeah… okay. We'll just go with this?" he says, picking up the closest pumpkin to them. He tilts his head at it, a small smile springing onto his face. "Heh, it kinda looks like you."

She raises her eyebrows at him, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?" Zelda huffs out, crouching down next to him to inspect what pumpkin he chose. It was one of the smaller ones in the garden, shaped cutely like a round oval–small enough that it would sit perfectly in between her two palms. Instead of responding to her, Link just grins.

"Ha! You've got a good eye!" Olkin chortles loudly. "They're much sweeter than the bigger ones. I'll give you a lil' discount and make it 15 rupees, whatd'ya say?"

"Sounds good to me." Link drops the rupees into Olkin's open hand. "Steen's not running you into the ground anymore, right? Did you two talk it out?"

"Meh," he responds with a shrug, rubbing his nose. "Once that old man stops selling carrots I'll start talkin' to him."

After a few more playful, friendly chatter, the two of them depart from Olkin's Pumpkin Farm to pick up a few spices and herbs from High Spirits Produce.

"Er... is it wise to bring the pumpkin with us into the store?" Zelda asks, grabbing Link's arm before they enter the store. "What if Trissa tells Steen we bought from Olkin? Remember the last time Steen found out we bought pumpkins from Olkin?" When they had walked into High Spirits Produce with a pumpkin in hand, and Steen had been in the store, he accused Link of being a two-timing-no-good customer.

"Oh-? Link? Zelda? Is that you?" a very familiar voice calls out from behind them. Link and Zelda simultaneously stiffen in response, goosebumps rising.

"O-oh! Steen!" Link swivels around, stepping in front of Zelda so that she's blocked from his view. "You're back early, was it a slow day selling your carrots?"

Of course Steen is right behind them!

"Just one of those days, Aha ha! Nothing to worry about though!"

Quickly, Zelda stuffs the pumpkin under her shirt and turns around, her body remaining hidden behind Link as she gives Steen a small smile. "I'm, ah, sure tomorrow will be better! I'm feeling quite ill, so... we'll be heading back..." Slowly, she turns back around and begins to trek her way up the incline with her hands tucked snug underneath the pumpkin hidden behind her shirt.

"Oh!"

Zelda freezes. She glances up to her left, and...

Trissa stands there, her eyes wide and her hands hiding her mouth in utter disbelief and surprise.

"Zelda are you- it can't be- you're pregnant??" Trissa practically screams, squealing in delight.

"P-" Zelda is too baffled to even finish the word as cold sweat forms on her skin. This cannot be happening, Zelda thinks, as she pales.

"Pregnant??" Link and Steen gasp in unison, as if Trissa screaming it isn't bad enough. Zelda's sure the whole village has heard them now.

"OhmyHylia!!" Trissa squeals again, jumping giddily to Zelda as she grabs her shoulders, squeezing them in delight. Zelda presses the pumpkin against her stomach with her dear life, eyes wide and lips pursed in utter shock. "Why didn't you say anything? I knew you two were an item! Honey, dear, look at her bump! You're not too far along, it seems!"

Steen takes no time in quickly jogging over to them with a silly grin on his face. Then, his hands reach out and- oh, if someone were to touch the bump they'd immediately know that it isn't...!

"Ah, darn. We really wanted to keep this a secret!"

Whatareyousaying?? Zelda, whose mind is currently gone to panic-mode-mush, stares at Link with wide eyes as he somehow pries her away from Steen and Trissa.

"Please don't tell anyone?" Link asks, smiling apologetically. "We don't want to give Impa a shock just yet."

"Oh, oh of course!" Trissa spews, grinning so genuine and happy that it makes Zelda feel like a terrible person. "Your secret is S-A-F-E with me and Steen, right darling??"

"Absolutely," Steen says immediately as he claps his hands together. "Trissa, go get one of everything from the store and give it to them! They're gonna need a lot more food with a third mouth joining!"

"Ah, no, please-" Zelda says weakly, but Trissa is already in and out of the store, hauling a whole bag of spices, food, and other goodies for them and hands them over to Link. Steen adds in a whole bundle of swift carrots into the bag as well.

"I added in some teas that will help with morning sickness," Trissa explains with a beaming smile. "Just pop some honey into them for some sweetness if it's too bitter!"

"Oh... thank... you..." Zelda manages to spit out. "I think- yes. I think Link and I must go, I feel terribly exhausted." She grips the sleeve of his shirt with one hand, tugging. She'll give them rupees for all the food later, but right now, every inch of her is screaming to get out of here immediately.

They say their goodbyes, and finally, when they separate from the lovely Sheikah couple and they're a good ways near the edge of the village, Zelda drops to a crouch and buries her head into her lap.

"Link," she mumbles, crumbling, pulling the innocent pumpkin out of her shirt and hugging it to her chest. "Whatarewegoingtodo???"

He bursts into laughter.

Zelda whips her head up at him, glaring, her face beginning to flush. "This isn't- this is a disaster!!" They both know that Steen and Trissa are the number one gossipers of Kakariko Village, there's just no way that they wouldn't spread it, and if Impa hears it...

He continues to laugh until he's gasping for air, clutching his stomach, and it sounds so raw and free that Zelda can't help but crack a smile because- well, the whole thing is awfully silly.

Still chuckling, he puts the bag of food down and helps her up, taking the pumpkin into his arms. He stares at it fondly as if it really is his child. "I guess we should think of a name, huh? For our unborn kiddo?"

Her cheeks warm at the thought of Link being a father and—

"Oh, enough of your silliness!" Zelda sputters, pinching his nose. She grabs the bag off from the ground and hauls it up, fully aware that her cheeks are probably as red as the ripe apples that grow in Kakariko Village. Unbeknownst of the calamity they had unleashed upon the small Sheikah clan for the coming days, they depart the village with a massive armful of delicious food.

[brylichen]

Hello, there. Welcome to Brylichen!

“Oh, hi. I’m Mylo, nice to meet you!”

————————————————————————————

Welcome to Brylichen! Lead by the monarch, Mylo, it’s a beautiful underground kingdom located in a long chain of lush caves. Mylo really likes to meet new people, so they love new visitors!

What’ll you do here in Brylichen? Are you just passing through, or are you looking for something more permanent like citizenship? Whatever the case, you’re always welcome here. Happy adventuring!

————————————————————————————

This is a roleplay blog for @mean-gills’s Empires season 3 rp! Run by @the-bad-boys, but this is it’s own account because sideblogs are rather confusing for me to use lmao..

Just a disclaimer: I’m fairly busy IRL as of recently, so I may randomly disappear. Apologies!

Anyone’s welcome to roleplay with this blog, but the only people that may engage in serious lore are the 10 other blogs we have specifically for this roleplay. Full blown roleplayers to shy anons - everyone’s good! HOWEVER, won’t be interacting with anyone until our group sort of picks up. It’ll be soon, don’t worry!

The only things I won’t allow are NSFW, random/extreme stuff, and overpowered things. [For example, don’t just say something like, “I run at them so fast they can’t run away”.] Otherwise, come on over!

If you send me an ask, I might not reply to it because a) I’m not online or b) I feel like I’m too busy roleplay-wise. However, it’s been a really long time - say a week or so - feel free to send another ask in reminding me as I may have forgotten.

————————————————————————————

TAGS

#all around the bush we go - in character posts

#not me not you; who is who? - out of character posts

#all together now! - roleplaying [specifically with others]

#open the letter - asks

————————————————————————————

OTHER

[just random stupid fun facts]

About Mylo

they/it pronouns

agender

Glare hybrid!

4’8

likes literally everything cute

it’s favorite things ever are mushrooms and other types of related nature items..so funky

About Brylichen

previously known as Lichendrip, but Mylo's great great grandmother decided that name wasn't..fancy enough

protected with a sort of force field, which is made of a combination of cave materials, to keep hostile mobs out

About Me

Ren! he/they/it pronouns :D

I've been roleplaying for almost 1.5 years er..

^ you may have seen some of my other blogs; I always use this specific format [or something super similar] so you know it's probably me!! it's like a trademark lmfao

^^ apparently, a few of the other blogs in our group have been borrowing the format for their own blogs! meh..they're the only exception, otherwise it's me 👍

I’m 5’6 but someday. SOMEDAY I’LL GET TALLER, MARK MY WORDS!!

[thatchronicfeeling]

masks

menstrual pads / tampons

panty liners

incontinence pads

adult nappies / diapers Yes, they should provide these things for you. But often things in hospital are run 'on a wing and a prayer', so if there's something that would make you more comfortable, take it with you! I know that all of this stuff isn't affordable / practical for everyone. If that's the case for you, maybe have a think if *some* of this is doable for you. - maybe you could have a tote bag with a couple of essentials (see hashtags below) - maybe you could make a list of things you'd need to pack for an emergency hospital trip - maybe you have a paper list of emergency contacts - maybe you could keep a list of your meds on your phone - maybe you could think up a strategy if there are meds/supplements you would need to keep hidden whilst in hospital (seriously. I know someone who got her meds -- and salt -- confiscated by a nurse who said they'd 'keep it safe'...and then she didn't have access to the specific meds she needed, when she needed them) #I wish I could do this#but I can’t afford to have some of those things#and not use them#still a good idea#at least I have a backpack#that I am accustomed to emergency stuffing for the ER#and it does have a few staples like chapstick#and a medical list#plus a bag with some toiletries#like hair brush and spray and lotion @lifewithchronicpain Also, this bullet point on the list above made me laugh: "Pyjamas that are comfy enough to be in but not too revealing since it's hospital". I was once hospitalised during a heat wave. A family member very kindly went to buy a comfy weather-appropriate change of clothes + some nighties. That's how I ended up in hospital with extremely skimpy cotton nighties, with teeny tiny straps. Meaning that I'd go to bed with the essentials barely covered...and I'd wake up with everything on show. Luckily, I was in a single room because I had such epic diarrhoea that I was *always* in the toilet and sharing a bathroom caused a problem for the other patients. Yes, on a bowel ward. Where there were not enough toilets. For the patients with bowel problems.

I was talking to a friend and found out this isn't normal for everyone to have so if you're one of the people who don't have an emergency hospital bag, this is your sign to start pulling one together. Hope you'll never need it but make it anyways because if you need it and you don't have one you'll kick yourself. It's designed so if you were suddenly rushed to hospital or had to go to A&E/ER then you or someone you know can just grab it and go. Trust me, it makes life so much easier when you have a bag in an allocated space that anyone can grab for you if you need it. All you need is a bag designed to be hand luggage on a plane. Everyone's is different and it's customisable to you but things I have in mine include:

A list of all my current medications and their dosages

A list of all diagnoses with the medications used for them noted since some medications have multiple uses

A list of any mobility or physical limitations due to disabilities or illnesses

A list of emergency contacts

A list of allergies and what happens when I come into contact with those allergens

My regular doctors and specialists information

A change of comfy clothes including two sets of underwear and socks

Pyjamas that are comfy enough to be in but not too revealing since it's a hospital

Dressing gown (if there's space - if not keep one close to the bag for convenience)

Wet wipes

Alcohol hand gel

Deodorant

Chewing gum

Travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush

Travel sized dry shampoo

Travel sized shampoo and conditioner

Travel sized shower gel

A small tube of hand cream

A small microfiber towel

A plastic bag to keep soiled clothes in

A book to read

A puzzle book with at least two pens/pencils

Headphones/ear plugs

A portable phone charger

Spare phone charger with plug

Small comfort items

Small stim items

An eye mask

A small fan

A bottle of water and some small snacks (no nuts!)

I really encourage everyone to build theirs and regularly check it and update it as needed. Even if you think you're the healthiest person in the world, you have no idea what tomorrow will bring and it's always better to be prepared than left floundering during an already stressful situation. Feel free to add on your own ideas for what people can put in theirs. My list is by no means complete and there's bound to be things I didn't think of

[1358456]

Pokemon Crystal "Free to Play" Run Part 1

Time to give this a try. I remember very little about the specifics and the hidden secrets of Generation II, so... um... this may be a doomed run. We'll see.

Here we go. No glitches, no catching any Pokemon whatsoever, and no buying Pokemon either. Free to play.

Once again, I don't have enough spaces, and don't have access to numbers so... FTP again.

... Who the hell is this? Her daughter is adamant about becoming Prof. Elm's assistant? ... Was that ever brought up in Pokemon Special? Hmm. I can probably use this in an upcoming Short.

There's some asshole looking into the lab and no one ever notices him. ... This lab has one entrance, and an assistant who wanders around that only entrance doing literally nothing else. How did this asshole get in and steal a Pokemon? ... I guess through the window??

Heh. Unlike Prof. Rowan who just stares at you, this dude begs you for help. "Please, we're drastically understaffed because we can't afford any helpers! You're not getting paid for this either!"

"Partner" my ass. ... Oh wait, Free to Play run. ... Er... Yes. Very important. Especially considering the later parts... Taking Cyndaquil for now and will deeply regret my decision at the end of this post.

So this is what a battle looks like from an outsider's perspective. ... So... how do the battles in my Yellow version runs look? "That dude's Pikachu is... er... blue."

Why does my character have a blue Pokeball? Did I merge a Pokeball with a Squirtle already? And this asshole's arm is... kind of messed up. Either his hand is as long as his forearm, or his arm can reach past his knee.

"My name is ???" ... Sure. I didn't ask for his name or his life aspirations, but I guess he's lonely. Well, f*ck him.

Er... I think there's a dude named Ricky in here who wants to trade you an Onix for a Bellsprout. But that requires me to CATCH a Bellsprout, so... nope.

... Huh. That's actually a thing. I thought the mandatory Trainer's School was given that name in Pokemon Special only. I guess the "orphanage" part is new. ... Orphanage... I miss the kids in Morning Glory...

... Where is the teacher? Did he f*ck off and abandon the class? There are like 12 seats here and only 4 kids, 2 of which are playing Pokemon games in the back. ... Wait, what?

I thought there was a path around the dollar sign. But I guess that's HGSS only?

Your dad's "cherished bird Pokemon" are just random sh*t he found in the Viridian Forest.

Nope. F*ck off. ... Oh wait, Free to Play... er... I mean... Yes!

Hey, this is guy who, back in the days, everyone thought was referring to Pokerus that you can only find in the grass around him. ... Back in those days, people also thought that shiny Pokemon were extremely rare variants that appeared in specific places. ... I found Pokerus in my actual Gold version. And Ruby. ... And then I spawned it in Silver! See my GSC Joy Run posts for that shenanigans.

... Sheesh. Sorry for being broke. There's a reason why this is a Free to Play run...

Hey! A gift Pokemon! I wonder what's inside? It better be good! Because I am very lacking in the Pokemon department!

This is Bill's mother. And... So Bill's father is a gambling addict? Hmm. Did I know that already?

Another "gift" Pokemon! It's like a quest delivery weapon/armor in Skyrim or something. As long as I don't complete the quest...

... It's a "gift", but... it ain't good. But... well... I effectively robbed this guy. I can't exactly complain about the quality of the stuff I stole. At least it can use Fly probably. Oh, it has mail. ...

Whoops. My bad. I do not work for the post office, so this is not my responsibility.

... I have to face Whitney very soon. And without a Geodude/Graveler for once. A Spearow and Togepi/Togetic do not help me against that. So... er... this Odd Egg had better hatch into something good!

... ... ... ... -_- ... ... ... ...

Odd Egg? Never heard of it. I only ever had my starter, Togepi Egg, and the "gift" Spearow. ... I just can't get away from that li'l abomination...

I guess Quilava has to solo Whitney... through Attract and Rollout. ... Hmm...

It's cheese time.

Just like Misty's Starmie, Whitney's Miltank is no match for this finely curated, moldy, nasty-ass fromage. Now there should be no more problems!

... So here I am in Ecruteak. And... This is it, huh? ... The first Water Stone you can get is in Cerulean Cape, so... I physically can't progress past Olivine City. Nothing here gets Surf. ... Um... so... I guess I absolutely needed to have picked Totodile at the start of the game. This run was doomed the moment I picked Cyndaquil. "Truth is, the game was rigged from the start."

... F*ck. This is like those very old text based adventure games where you could have f*cked yourself over at the start of the game and wouldn't find out until like... 10 hours in.

Well then. Part 1 is a proof-of-concept run. I'll restart with Totodile for Part 2. And looking at this right now, my team by the end is going to be...

Feraligatr (Surf, Whirlpool, Cut), Fearow (Fly), Togetic (Flash), Espeon, Dragonite (Waterfall), and... something other than Pichu from that Daycare random egg. I wonder if Togetic can learn Fly. If that's the case, I don't need the Fearow and I can replace it with a Hitmonlee/chan/top. ... If I remember where Tyrogue is, anyways. Might be that cave right next to Ecruteak...

Well, next time.

[spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia]

Part 2!:

Suddenly, Ashley B waved a tube of toothpaste. ‘Gotta add some pizzaz to it.’, she explained.

‘...Me and my big mouth.’, Ashley A grumbled, squeezing the tube all over her underwear. Just the thought of doing this made her want to vomit, but if she did, they’d remember what happened to her next to ? and that would make her feel even worse…er.

Finally, having finished the dark deed bestowed upon her, Ashley was led towards the freezer, and with heavy hands and a heavier heart, she laid the drenched undergarments inside, right next to the Eggos.

‘And when my mom finds these tomorrow, I WON’T tell her it was yours. That way, your mom won’t find out. I doubt she’d like that. See? THAT’S how trust works, Ashley. That’s friendship.’, Ashley B explained, while Ashley A stared off into the distance, sitting down on the floor, feeling greatly uncomfortable. Her back was hunched, every vertebrae in her spine shaking with her hurried breath. If she didn’t care for her reputation so much, she would have made a pool of tears to sweep her away forever. ‘What’s the fourth challenge? Is it the last one? Please?’, Ashley A asked, in a voice so quiet it couldn’t even disturb a leaf.

‘Yes. It is.’, Ashley B replied, patting her hair. ‘And then, we’ll finally be Ashley’s again.’

‘I would like that. Very much.’, Ashley A voiced, closing her eyes, banishing all her pained thoughts.

‘Then let’s go back upstairs.’, Ashley B clapped her hands, and the group walked upstairs in solemn silence.

Staring in stunned surprise, Penny slowly broke into a grin. ‘So… Ashley A can be blackmailed…’

Suddenly, she caught a presence in the corner of her eye. Behind her, just now popping by the window, was Mikey, who had run away in shame until he reached Penny. ‘Perfect! He can tell them about my progress, and then the gang will accept me!’, Penny crowed, and she waved to Mikey. Waving was okay, right? Friends did that. Not that they were friends, but still. Penny had never waved to someone, so it was fun. She’d have to do it again another day.

And when Mikey noticed, she was extremely pleased to see him wave back, intrigued by what she may have found…

‘Pleasant day we’re having, huh?’, Gretchen asked, sitting by the living room table on the stiff and hard wooden chair, the brown bars behind her looking like a prison cell, which fit her mood right now. She gave hard and impatient stares to Vince and Spinelli, the duo chewing uncertainly on their trail mix, wondering why Gretchen seemed so stiff suddenly. ‘Want some?’, Vince offered, hoping it was a valuable enough olive branch.

Gretchen shook her head slowly, voice as low and quiet as the mariana trench. ‘Not hungry.’

‘Okay… So, um, wanna get back to your project? It was, um, really interesting!’, Vince tried, while Spinelli nodded a little too enthusiastically. They were hoping to keep searching for some sort of evidence, while Gretchen kept busy with her science work stuff.

Gretchen wasn’t quite in the mood, however. ‘Oh, what’s the rush? I think we can stay here a while, maybe chat about stuff.’, Gretchen voiced, sounding distant and introspective.

‘You think she’s onto us?’, Spinelli whispered, but Vince shook his head. ‘Come on, even she’s not THAT smart.’

‘Idiots.’, Gretchen muttered, making them look up in surprise. ‘Did you say something?’, they both asked, and Gretchen waved them off. ‘No, not at all. So, anyway, what did you think of my room? Pretty interesting, no?’

Vince and Spinelli decided to approach that loaded question carefully. ‘Oh, um, yeah, it’s nice!’, Vince complimented, while Spinelli added ‘Yeah, it’s very… Gretchen-y!’

‘Yeah, it’s nice.’, Gretchen replied, caring more about the trap she was about to set than their thoughts on her room. In fact, she was beginning to care less and less about what they thought. Fiddling with something under the table, Gretchen suddenly whipped out her notebook and handed it to them. ‘Say, could you guys do me a solid and take this upstairs to my room? I really need to use the little scientist’s room, and I wouldn’t want this left just anywhere, you know? It’s VERY important to me.’, she stressed, eying them both with clear “Don’t fuck this up” looks. Then, bending her legs together to sell the performance, she ran upstairs to the bathroom.

Vince and Spinelli eyed this departure, then the book. Gulping, Vince grabbed it, stroking the front cover with burning curiosity. It was plain blue, with only one distinguishing feature, but one that understandably grabbed both his and Spinelli’s attention: A simple inscription of “My Friend, Ashley R”.

‘Well… Better get it upstairs…’, Vince finally said, as he and Spinelli slowly walked upstairs carrying the heavier and heavier journal.

Creak, creak, creak, went the ancient steps, mixing in with the accelerated heartbeats of the two friends. It felt wrong, but…

‘Would it be SO bad if we peaked? Just to make sure everything was legit.’, Vince raised his point, as he and Spinelli pushed the door open.

‘I don’t think it’s so bad. I mean, it’s for a good cause, right? It’s not like we’re breaking her privacy and trust for fun, we’re doing it to make sure our friend’s safe!’, Spinelli reasoned, sitting on the bed, ready to read it.

Vince was still hesitant, trapped between the desk and the bed, notebook in hand. ‘But still… Would we like it the other way around?’

‘Vince, do you want Gretch back or not?’, Spinelli asked, and Vince sighed, knowing exactly what his answer was. ‘More than anything.’

‘Then park your butt over here and crack this bad boy open! I doubt we have that much time until she’s back anyway.’, Spinelli directed, staring back and forth to make sure they were alone.

‘Did you guys say something?’, T.J. asked while he and Gus continued searching through tool boxes in the closet.

‘You’ll see!’, Spinelli cried, and she again patted the bed to get Vince to sit down. Resigned, Vince did so, and the two stared at the book with fearful eyes, as if opening it would melt their faces like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

‘On the count of 3.’, Vince posited, and Spinelli nodded. They placed their hands on the book, each one on a corner. ‘1…’, Vince counted. ‘2…’, Spinelli added.

A pause.

‘2 and a half…’, they stalled, sweating but determined.

‘3!’, they finally cried, opening it to find…

Nothing.

Nothing but a sheet of yellow note paper, that descended onto the floor.

While Spinelli turned the book upside down, in the hope it would suddenly become full, Vince unfolded the note and gulped. ‘Why… Why is it a giant middle finger?’, he asked Spinelli, who was now smelling the book.

‘Because you just flipped off our friendship.’

Vince and Spinelli gasped and yelped as they turned to the wall to see Gretchen pop out from the space in between, a tiny door now visible. Of course, Gretchen had turned it into a pathway. She was Gretchen.

‘She’s in the walls?!’, was Spinelli’s reaction, while Vince, blushing, was far guilter, riddled with shame. ‘Oh, um, hey, Gretch! We were just, um…

‘Reading my notebook? My private notebook? The one I specifically asked you to just place down?’, Gretchen asked each question like it was a knife stab, as she began marching downstairs in anger. Vince and Spinelli quickly followed, while T.J and Gus, overhearing this, hurried out to help, the closet now a mess of screws. ‘Wait, Gretch, it’s not what it looks like!’, Vince tried to fight the fire, nervously laughing at the mess he landed them in.

‘Really? It looks pretty obvious to me.’, Gretchen didn’t even bother looking back, as she angrily stomped to her door to unlock it.

‘No, see, it’s because… Because…’, Vince kept tripping on his words, the others a little too scared and shocked by how angry Gretchen was to back him up.

‘Because you don’t like my new friend, right?’, Gretchen remarked, ignoring the friendship experiment for a second. She was fiddling with the keys so angrily that she kept missing the one she needed exactly, and it was driving her crazy.

‘Well, um, it’s not that we DON’T like her…’, T.J. began, finally stepping in for Vince.

‘I’m sure she’s lovely!’, Gus added, back to his usual scared self, shaking like his bones did at the mere mention of an Ashley.

‘It’s just that, well, you’ve been acting weird, and…’, Spinelli redirected the convo to their concerns, but Gretchen had NO patience for it this time.

‘So you lied. You lied to me. You pretended you wanted to engage in my hobbies for once in this relationship’s history, only to stab me in the back so you could see if the first person I’ve ever befriended outside of this group was, what, some monster? Because I’m not allowed another friend who perhaps gets me on a level you guys don’t?’, Gretchen raved, shoving the key into the lock and opening the door violently, it slamming onto the wall, plaster cracks crumbling onto the floor.

‘Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?’, Vince asked, insulted. He pointed at her accusingly. ‘We do get you! We’re your best friends!’

‘...Right now? You don’t feel like that.’, Gretchen replied back, demeanor as cold and venomous as a snow serpent.

Vince wanted to argue back. Spinelli definitely wanted to. T.J and Gus wanted to at least keep the peace.

But if they were all honest with themselves, they knew…

They had no legs to stand on.

Meanwhile, the silence caused Gretchen’s anger to twist into heartbreak. Why couldn’t she have both? Why couldn’t she have her friends AND Ashley? Why was she constantly punished for being Gretchen Grundler?

Turning onto herself, quiet and solemn like a psalm, she whispered ‘I think it would be best if you left. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.’

‘Maybe.’, she added, to really drive in how angry she was.

The gang left with their heads hung low, knowing that they had truly fucked up.

Once they were gone and Gretchen closed the door, the genius found herself slowly setting down on the cold floor, not caring for the temperature, as tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. She had no energy to sob, curse, cry or even moan in pain.

She just lay there in silence, a tearstruck corpse in limbo.

And she would have stayed there all day if it weren’t for Ashley M and B.U.D.D.Y finally finding her after getting lost in the kitchen.

‘Doctor Grundler! Doctor Grundler! You are urgently needed elsewhere by one of your trusted allies!’, B.U.D.D.Y voiced, licking Gretchen with her cold metallic tongue. Gretchen, startled awake by her invention working, didn’t know whether to laugh in joy or cry that her only friends seemed to be machines. ‘B.U.D.D.Y! You’re alive!’

‘Yes, Doctor, I am! I have so many questions!’, B.U.D.D.Y enthused, her voice box echoing “pant, pant, pant” as a word over and over. ‘Why am I alive? What is the meaning of the universe? And how come the word Bacon makes my circuits go haywire?’

Gretchen giggled, petting her robot dog, not caring that it didn’t feel like fur. She loved her new pet for who she was, unlike some friends she knew. ‘I’ll explain everything in due course, B.U.D.D.Y!’

Suddenly, Gretchen noticed Ashley M anxiously meowing in the corner, and raised an eyebrow in confusion. ‘Ashley M? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be with Ashley A at the Annual Ashley Sleepover?’

Ashley M meowed so loudly it nearly broke a lightbulb. Gretchen blocked her ears from the loud sound, while B.U.D.D.Y did her best to translate. ‘Her mama, Ashley A, also known as Exhibit 10 in the “Trusted Allies” section, is in trouble, Doctor!’

‘Trouble? Ashley A?’, Gretchen would never admit it (as it would potentially harm the results of the friendship experiment), but just the thought of Ashley A in trouble with her “friends” made her shoot up like a bullet, desperate to do something, anything. ‘Show me the way! My f… My potential friend needs me!’

Ashley M and B.U.D.D.Y exchanged looks as Gretchen put on a coat and hurried to the Grundler Comet, the two pets trying not to roll their eyes. ‘When you said she was in denial of their friendship, I didn’t realize you meant it so literally.’, B.U.D.D.Y voiced, while Ashley M snickered. ‘Imagine being that blind.’

B.U.D.D.Y then grabbed Ashley M with one of her extend-o paws, and placed her on her back. ‘Hold on tight!’, she ordered, and Ashley M did, trying to ignore how nice it felt to hold.

And, with a flash, the three figures zoomed off into the evening skyline, charging towards Ashley B’s house to help their mutual ally.

It took some effort to remove Penny from the tree after she had chosen to leap out the window rather than just step out of it, but now Mikey could hear what she had managed to obtain as he calmed himself down from betraying Gretchen. Sitting on two lawn chairs that happened to be sprawled out, the duo were alone for the first time ever. Mikey, still breathing slowly into a paper bag, motioned for her to talk.

Penny, grinning, happily regaled Mikey of her adventure. ‘And then, I fell through the ceiling! Onto the middle of the room!’

‘No way!’, Mikey exclaimed, enthralled by the escapade. ‘How did you get away with it?’

‘Well, I saw this giant statue in the middle of the room, so I took a step stool and pretend to be one too! And they bought it!’, Penny proudly pumped herself up, bragging about her achievement.

Mikey was genuinely impressed, and he applauded quietly, so no one would hear them. ‘A truly impressive feat! You’re really good at your job, Penny!’

Penny didn’t really GET compliments, so there was something about just receiving one face value, one that wasn’t followed up with another order, that made her positively crimson. She grinned shyly, not used to such words. ‘Oh, it was nothing… Heh heh…’, she twirled her hair a little, surprised at how happy this made her. She never reacted like that.

Then, remembering her photos, she laid them on the table. ‘Now, unfortunately, I haven’t seen a hint of Ashley R. BUT, I DID get all these pictures of Ashley A doing embarrassing things! I think it could make for great blackmail material!’

Mikey’s face twisted, as if he just sucked on a lemon for 30 minutes straight. He wasn’t a fan of those words. ‘Um, thanks, Penny, but I doubt we’d find much use in those.’, he tried to be gentle, even if he really hated the concept of blackmail photos.

Penny didn’t get it, and she emoted this with a scratch on the head, which made her hair bounce a lot. ‘Why not? Blackmail can be very useful. It gets people to do stuff for you. You know, blackmail? I thought you read books or junk.’

Mikey frowned, fighting back an eye roll. He wasn’t sure what he thought of this Penny, but she made him feel uneasy. ‘I’m a lover, not a fighter.’, he explained, trying to remain cordial. ‘I believe that we can get to the bottom of this mystery without resorting to such barbaric methods.’

‘I swear you guys are so yellow. Don’t spy on Gretchen, Penny, don’t blackmail Ashley A, Penny. I thought you guys were all about breaking the rules!’, Penny complained, mocking Mikey’s protests with a jeering voice. She crossed her arms. ‘You hired me to do what I do best. What I do best is find secrets out, and use them.’

‘Well, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Not that I would ever do that.’, Mikey shuddered at the thought, before shooting Penny a dirty look.

Penny shot one back. She could never just do a good job. She always had to be critiqued, somehow. ‘Well, at least I’m DOING my job! Why did you even come here again?’

‘Well, let’s see, I didn’t feel great about breaking my friend’s trust? You know, like a normal friend would?’, Mikey pointed out, annoyed at the accusation. ‘Maybe things were different in your old school. But here, we may bend the rules, but not our bonds.’

‘...I hate to admit, but that was a good line. You really do read a lot.’, Penny admitted, sighing. She had to make this work, even if it meant being… Nicer. Ugh. ‘All right, fine. I SUPPOSE I could find another way.’

‘I can help! If you want. I’d much rather do that than hurt Gretchen.’, Mikey proposed, looking upset again. Penny raised an eyebrow in confusion. ‘But wouldn’t that hurt Ashley A?’

‘Oh, she’s a monster, I don’t mind that.’, Mikey waved it off, chuckling, before getting worried again. ‘I am, however, worried about her cousin. Ashley R… Well, she seems pretty important to Gretchen.’

Sensing a potential opening, Penny instantly raised her notepad. ‘How important?’

‘I’m not telling. I swore an oath.’, Mikey crossed his arms, looking away, making a zipping motion with his lips.

‘Drat. Guess I’ll have to squeeze that out of him another day.’, Penny thought, tapping her pencil on her chin.

Suddenly, they heard a commotion from upstairs. ‘Oh, criminey! The fourth challenge! I better check on those Ashley’s!’

As she ran to the other side, Mikey slowly following, Penny saw that the window ledge that led to the window above it (which housed the party) was just out of her tiny reach. Jumping up and down uselessly, she turned around and found to her unpleasant surprise Mikey offering his shoulders.

‘You find this amusing, don’t you?’, Penny commented with a grunt, and Mikey hummed absent mindedly. ‘Maybe.’

Resigned to her fate, Penny climbed his shoulders, and thus reached the window ledge. Climbing from that onto the next one, like a spider with a deadline to spare, she took a risk and opened up the window slightly. Then, even more like a spider, she scrambled onto the top of the bed’s headrest, then hid behind, awaiting any juicy reveals.

Mikey watched all this in transfixed fascination. How the heck did she do that? ‘Gee, sometimes I wish I was that small.’, he thought, unsure what to make of his unlikely ally in the battle to help Gretchen. Now, if only he could talk to Gretchen about Ashley R. He didn’t want to disturb her privacy, but perhaps they could come up with a strategy for how to get the rest of the gang to understand.

Realizing Penny might need an emergency escape ride, Mikey headed back to his home as quickly as he could to fetch his bike, which was well timed.

Because right then, Gretchen, Ashley M and B.U.D.D.Y arrived at the Boulet house to enact their secret mission.

Tossing her helmet off into the air (B.U.D.D.Y stashing it in her storage unit, which happened to be her butt), Gretchen was practically charging into that yard like a knight on a mechanical steed preparing to save her lady fair.

‘Okay, where’s the sleepover? How do we help?’, Gretchen asked, as she looked up to each window, desperately trying to spot a hint of Ashley A, a sliver of her hair or the soothing sound of her laughter.

Ashley M, remembering the room’s position, meowed loudly and bounced at the direction of Ashley B’s bedroom. Gretchen, seeing it, gulped, shaking a little. ‘Leaping Ada Lovelace! How am I gonna get there?’

‘No need, Doctor Grundler! Remember, I have twice the power of a Dog’s sensitive ears! I can hear every word they’re saying!’, B.U.D.D.Y reassured, as she stuck her ear to the house. Ashley M sighed, impressed. ‘The gossip you can hear… Ugh, why can’t you be a boy? And a cat, too?’

And so, Gretchen, B.U.D.D.Y and Ashley M could hear every word of what was transpiring in the room…

‘Ashley Armbruster. So far, you have passed every one of our challenges. You are THIS close to earning our trust back.’, Ashley B ordained from her tea table chair, as she and Q and T sat while Ashley A had to kneel. Still reeling from the previous challenge, Ashley A had to fight as hard as she could to hold back any further tears. ‘They might get angry if I cry. I don’t want anymore trouble.’, she thought, genuinely scared for her safety.

Thankfully, it seemed like Ashley B was finally taking some pity on her. ‘As I said, though, this is the final challenge. Just pass this one task, and all will be well again, and we could finally start our sleepover.’

Ashley A liked the sound of that. She nodded feverishly, now feeling fully prepared for any obstacle. ‘What do you need me to do now? I’ll literally do anything, Ashley B, anything!’

‘Oh, don’t worry, this SHOULD be easy enough.’, Ashley B “reassured”, as she instructed Ashley T and Q to get the landline back towards Ashley A. ‘I want you…’

Ashley A hung over every word, her eyes flitting around in hope and terror. Ashley B saw that, saw her hands shaking, how absolutely weak she appeared…

And she hated how much she loved it.

‘...To call Ashley R, bring her over here, and mock her until she cries.’

Ashley B would never admit it, but seeing Ashley A’s pupils shrink for a moment, as her breath hitched and her heart seemed to crack further, was approaching euphoric. She deserved this, for all her ineptitude. Honestly, it was clear to Ashley B that she should be president regardless of Ashley A’s success at the fourth challenge, but they could cross that bridge when they reached it.

Ashley A, meanwhile, felt like she was falling through space, and there was no Grundler Comet to save her this time. She couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. Dry throat cracking, she managed to wheeze out ‘Ashley R?’

‘Yes, Ashley R. Why, is there a problem, Ashley A? I thought you’d LOVE to make fun of that geek loser cousin of yours, and especially her best friend, Gretchen Grundler.’, Ashley B savored every word, getting off her seat and cupping Ashley A’s chin, as Q and T watched, a little disturbed.

‘I… I…’, Ashley A stuttered, when Ashley B suddenly whispered darkly into her ears, sounding as ravenous as a wildcat. ‘Because, Ashley A, that is what Ashley’s do. And if you’re suddenly against that, then are you really an Ashley?’

Ashley A sighed, knowing when she was beat. What choice did she have? ‘I… I am an Ashley.’, she said, no, begged really, pleading for that fact to remain true.

‘Then prove it. Call Ashley R on this phone and bring her over here.’, Ashley B ordered, as Ashley A slowly neared it.

Back outside, Gretchen, hearing all this from B.U.D.D.Y, panicked, as did Ashley M. ‘She’ll be found out for sure! I gotta do something! The friendship experiment is at stake!’, Gretchen called in alarm, wishing she had some way of perhaps getting the Ashley R costume.

Suddenly, Ashley M got an idea, and she whispered it to B.U.D.D.Y. The robot dog felt a surge of pride to be associated with such a brave creature. ‘You’re a testament to all pets everywhere, Ashley M!’

‘Please, call me Muffin. All my friends do.’, Ashley M insisted, trying to ignore the blush on her cheeks.

Climbing on top of B.U.D.D.Y, Ashley M rose to the sky thanks to the spring legs, and thanks to Penny leaving the window open, the cat was able to sneak into the room and drag Ashley A’s sleeping bag right out!

Penny, so excited by the possibility of Ashley R arriving (thus, getting something substantial and earning the gang’s trust), didn’t even notice the cat walk away with the bag, as she angled herself to snap good pictures of the meeting. Or, well, non meeting. Penny had a sneaky suspicion from Ashley A’s reactions that Ashley R was not perhaps who people thought. ‘And that’s better than any blackmail.’, she snickered mischievously, rubbing her hands in glee, which made her camera bend down then smack her in the face. ‘Ow! My pride!’

Outside, Ashley M posed smugly as she pushed the bag onto B.U.D.D.Y’s back and then rode down with a smirk. ‘You’re welcome.’, she meowed, though obviously Gretchen didn’t know that. Instead, she pet the cat and opened the bag, seeing the Ashley R disguise. Gulping again, she looked up at the window, then down at the look. ‘Well… I guess this is an unexpected test of the friendship experiment. How far I’m willing to go. And apparently…’

She removed her glasses and put on the Ashley R ones, before untying her pigtails and letting her hair flow across her face.

‘I’m willing to go quite far indeed.’

Inside the house, Ashley A was holding the phone, but still shaking, uncertain of her next move. Who would she even call? She couldn’t fool them like Ashley T’s dad. They actually HAD brain cells.

‘Well, Ashley A? We’re WAIIIIITINGGGGG.’, Ashley B berated, tapping her foot impatiently, while Ashley Q and T nodded enthusiastically. ‘Call that loser and get her over here so we can see her cry and junk.’

Ashley A gulped audibly, as she twirled the phone line with her fingers. ‘Okay… Better call my house and hope it fools them.’, Ashley A thought, as she slowly began to dial the numbers.

BOOP! First digit.

BOOP BOOP! Second and third digits.

BOOP, BOOP, BOOP! Fourth, fifth and sixth digits.

BOOP! BOOP! Seventh and eighth digits.

BOOP! Ninth digit.

BO…

Suddenly, flying through the window and smashing onto Ashley A (B.U.D.D.Y was sheepishly apologizing outside for tossing too hard), came none other than…

‘Ashley R?!’, Ashley B cried, shocked and startled by the fast arrival (and perhaps just a little by her presence near Ashley A, when she had the beginnings of a sneaky suspicion about her).

‘Ashley R?!’, Ashley Q and T cringed in disgust, getting on their chairs to avoid her, as if she were a mouse.

‘Ashley R?!’, Penny exclaimed, only to remember she was supposed to be quiet. Making up for it, she whispered ‘Bedhead sounds, bedhead sounds.’, and no one was the wiser, somehow.

‘Yes! It is I! Ashley R!’, Gretchen… That is, “Ashley R”, announced, as she untangled herself from Ashley A, who was now completely confused and out of it. Was she going crazy? Was this a hallucination? How did Ashley R appear?

Meanwhile, “Ashley R” continued introducing herself, hoping it was convincing enough. She wasn’t much for lying, after all, and this was already triggering her anxiety. ‘Yep, Ashley R! That’s my name! Don’t wear it out, ha! Um, anyway, I was just in the neighborhood and I saw this house and thought “Hey, maybe I’ll pop in for a spell and greet my cousin good night”, like I’m sure all good cousins do. I wouldn’t know, I don’t have any… That is, I do, and it’s Ashley A! Yep! Definitely her!’, “Ashley R” lied terribly, hoping against hope that those idiots bought it.

Thankfully, as previously stated, there weren’t many brain cells in the room presently. Ashley B cringed, unable to handle the presence of this total loser, while Q and T still remained safely away atop the chairs. ‘Look, if you’re already here, how about, like, making yourself useful by standing about here so we can all watch you get TOTALLY burned by Ashley A?’

Ashley A, still unpacking what the heck was going on, gasped, hating the idea of making fun of what seemed to be a clone of herself. That is, until “Ashley R” shockingly played along. ‘Oh, sure! If that’s what you’d like… I wouldn’t want you to Gretchley I mean retch… Ly.’, “Ashley R” said while winking at Ashley A, who blinked in confusion, recognizing the nickname. Was that… She squinted, looking at “Ashley R”, and while the other Ashley’s wouldn’t even notice, she knew those hazel eyes anywhere. ‘Gretchy?’, Ashley A whispered, relief forming tears in her eyes, before snapping into action. She realized what the plan was, and she could be eternally grateful later. ‘Oh, yes, um, Hi! Ashley R! Wow, I didn’t realize it was you, did you forget your beater at home and took the cheaper shirt?’, Ashley A insulted, leading to a chorus of laughter from the other Ashley’s. ‘Ha! She DOES dress up like she has no money! Just like Gretchen! Being rich rocks!’

While the girls were distracted high fiving, Ashley A leaned in to “Ashley R’s” face and whispered ‘Sorry, but they wanted me to make fun of you and…’

‘It’s okay, I understand. I know you don’t mean a word of it.’, “Ashley R” smiled reassuringly, and for the first time that evening, Ashley A did feel reassured from a friend of hers smiling. Nodding resolutely, she kept going. ���Wanna know just HOW much of a LOOOOOSERRRR you are? Let me break it down, geek of the week. You’re a buzzkill at a nerd convention!’, Ashley A pointed at “Ashley R”, wearing a fake mask she once worse as naturally as her skin, a smug and sassy stare full of venom and judgment.

‘Word!’, the other Ashleys cried, clapping and hooting at this display.

Ashley A continued, pacing around like a stand up comic, waving around an imaginary mic. ‘I just clowned you, cruster! I’m not even in my own crib! Like, tone down the freak, girl! Cut. It. Out!’

While the Ashleys laughed again and “Ashley R” rolled her eyes, amazed at how shallow they were, Penny made herself comfortable. She may not have had any evidence, but at least she was gonna have some quality insults if Spinelli bugged her.

Ashley A knew she couldn’t stop there, so she went on, even though the more she thought about it, the more she realized she was insulting herself. ‘Sorry to diss you so much, I’m just fiendin’ for some trust here, you feel me? So maybe if you weren’t hella lame, this wouldn’t be happening. Maybe if you weren’t so stupid as to hang with a different homie, this wouldn’t be happening. Maybe if you weren’t such a fake whack dork, you’d just get to enjoy this sleepover.’

Ashley A grew quieter and quieter, “Ashley R” grew more and more concerned, and the other Ashley’s eyed them curiously. What was this about?

As Ashley A stared at “Ashley R” in true pain, seeing herself and feeling such shame, embarrassment, and resentment, “Ashley R” nodded, motioning her to continue. Because she was willing to do that for her.

The difference was that Ashley A wasn’t forcing her. She didn’t even want to. Her friend was taking a bullet for her, but only because she wanted to help her, not because she was forced to.

And at that moment, Ashley A began to really wonder how fair those challenges were.

‘You’re not my family. You’re not my friend. You ain’t an Ashley. You’re just whatever. So talk to the hand, because this face don’t wanna see your freak ass here.’

Ashley A lost all her energy, all her vigor. She was just angry, but with who, she wasn’t sure anymore. What mattered was that the others were convinced. “Ashley R”, pleased with her work, pretended to cry, and ran downstairs.

‘...I’ll see her out.’, Ashley A mumbled, only to get a round of roaring applause from the other Ashleys. Ashley Q and T hollered and cheered, whistling, while Ashley B smiled her first genuine (well, genuine at Ashley A) smile of the evening. ‘Congratulations, Ashley A! You’ve really outdone yourself! Once you’re upstairs, you can enjoy the sleepover!’

‘I can? Really?’, Ashley A asked, overcome with emotion. Tears stinging her eyes, she bounced up and down in hurrah and hugged Ashley B. ‘Oh, thank you, thank you! I won’t let you down!’

‘You better!’, Ashley B “joked”, and she and Ashley A laughed, before high fiving. Everything was back to normal.

Downstairs, Ashley A quickly unlocked the door for “Ashley R”, who placed her glasses back on. ‘Wow, this stuff gives me a headache.’, Gretchen commented, smiling at Ashley A. ‘But it was worth it to get you out of that jam.’

‘Still, I’m sorry it killed your evening.’, Ashley A apologized, legitimately upset for her friend, despite her watery smile. ‘You were looking forwards to it! I mean, I’m grateful for the save, don’t get me wrong, but that’s literally SOOOO unfair to you, when you really wanted today’s break!’

‘Well, after what I went through, this was somehow the best part of the evening.’, Gretchen admitted, smiling sadly at Ashley. Ashley, almost dismayed, gaped and mumbled out a ‘What… What do you mean?’

‘Let’s just say all our friends drank the jerk juice today. They were trying to find out about us, lying to me about being interested in my hobby. Honestly, I’m kinda pissed. And you know how I get when I’m pissed.’, Gretchen chuckled darkly, happy she could at least vent.

Ashley A, however, was still disturbed and destitute at this news. ‘Oh, Gretchy, that’s literally the worst! Oh, I’m soooo sorry! I can’t even imagine being treated like that by your friends.’

Gretchen tried not to react too strongly. ‘Ash, that’s what your friends just did. They forced you to do things you didn’t want to do, right? That’s what B.U.D.D.Y told me.’

‘Who’s B.U.D.D.Y?’, Ashley A asked, but Gretchen waved her off. ‘Tomorrow. Look, point is, they just made you earn their trust, right? And while it’s true you’re lying to them about us, if they were truly good friends, they would understand you’re allowed friends outside of them. Why did you have to work your way to getting a sleepover? Because you forgot to wear purple ONE time? How’s that okay?’, Gretchen pointed out, before leaving back home on the Grundler Comet.

And those words echoed in Ashley A’s mind all throughout the evening.

And all throughout the things they did.

When they did the usual Ashley Annual Sleepover things (Makeovers, dress up, hair braiding), she couldn’t help but wonder why they made her dress up badly before during Girl talk, instead of it just being a game where EVERYONE agreed to do embarassing things and laugh with each other, not at each other.

When they danced and sang along to their favorite songs, Ashley A couldn’t help but wonder why they couldn’t have just started like this, why they had to keep testing her. She knew she was lying to them, so it didn’t help, but if all they suspected was that she had a secret friend, then… Why not just ask? Why not just find a solution?

When they ate their favorite snacks (Kids cuisines, dunkaroos, bagel bites, fun dip, pop qwiz, spray candy that T specifically liked, crazy dips that Q specifically liked, face twisters sour candy dough that B specifically liked, and finally the creme savors Ashley A had desired all evening), she couldn’t help but wonder… Would Gretchen have made her go through all that? Would Gretchen, if angry, test her that way? Guilt her that way? Wouldn’t they at least try and talk it out, like when she accidentally insulted her lesbian aunts?

When they all played with B’s Polly Pockets, and she proudly showed off the recreations of their houses, Ashley A couldn’t help but feel like her Polly Pocket felt wrong. It wasn’t the truth, after all. There were things, people she liked now that weren’t represented by a perfect pink paragon of poise anymore.

And finally, when they were all in PJ’s, Ashley A had one major thought, one that started when she found the note she had in her pocket all day by mistake, the one that Ashley B wrote once insulting Gretchen. It was a nasty joke about how she was too ugly to even get a girlfriend. Except now, Ashley A knew that some people wanted a girlfriend. And that even if Gretchen was ugly (‘Which she most certaintly wasn’t’), she didn’t deserve to be alone. ‘No one does.’

But, as Ashley A sat with her friends to watch their shows (7th Heaven, Sister, Sister, Baywatch, Dawson’s Creek), she couldn’t help but wonder…

How everyone lied and kept secrets in Dawson’s Creek, but when Ashley A dared keep one tiny one, she wasn’t okay.

How the 7th heaven ep had everyone pressuring Lucy to pick between two loves, when she was never asked who she wanted.

How the Sister, Sister ep showed Tamera trying to join a club, but being forced to do increasingly more embarassng things to get the position. To…

‘To earn their trust.’, Ashley A realized with a soft gasp, as her friends laughed at the end of the episode, and then switched to the Baywatch premiere, which, honestly, had no life lesson for Ashley A, but right now she couldn’t focus on hot lifeguards, as she was realizing something big.

Looking at the note again, then at her friends, Ashley A realized she was sitting far from them, on the bed while they were on the floor. Even now, even after being accepted, she was still feeling apart.

Because… Maybe she was.

Because maybe not forever, but right now…

‘They… They don’t love me. The real me. If I was Ashley R, or even the Ashley A I was just a few hours ago, they’d… They’d kick me out of the sleepover.’

And it was this realization that made Ashley A cry herself to sleep, clutching her sleeping bag for all it was worth.

Clutching the note to her heart.

Thinking, with gritted teeth and clenched fists, about how terribly alone she was.

And begging for forgiveness.

‘God, please, if you’re up there… Please… Make my friends love me again. I… I don’t want to lose them. I don’t want to lose the Ashleys.’

But between sniffles, a cold realization settled in her stomach.

That maybe, just maybe…

She already did.

Or, perhaps more accurately…

That they had lost her.

And maybe Gretchen was right, after what she went through.

Maybe they really couldn’t have both.

And perhaps what scared Ashley A even more than that was the other realization:

‘If I had to choose right now… After all this… I’d choose Gretchen.’

She clutched the note harder to her heart.

‘Because Gretchen likes ME. Not the idea of me.’

And unbeknownst to her, only one was aware of the tears.

The crawling away Penny, who had fallen asleep at one point, and now had to go back home.

She saw the girl cry like she had never seen before. These weren’t the tears of a whiny brat, but of a truly broken heart, alone with the shadows of her nightmares.

And if Penny was honest… That was every day of her life.

‘...Focus on the mission.’, Penny repeated to herself, leaving the house and whisking through the night back home.

But deep down in her heart, she was the third girl to grow a shadow of a doubt in her heart about her original allegiances.

And so, Ashley A finally cried herself to sleep.

Waking up the next morning, before everyone else, she was comforted by one thought, one that made her feel warm and cuddly like a teddy bear.

‘Today I see Gretchen. Today I see a friend who’s still my friend.’, she thought, and it shook her how true that was right now. Oh, if only Gretchen could make a potion that made her friends the way they once were!

‘But hey, at least today’s got to be easier, right?’, she thought, slowly sitting up, only to eye the landline and remember who she called on it.

Menlo.

She also had a date.

With Menlo.

‘Son of a…’, Ashley A began, as Ashley M meowed loudly from a “nightmare” about chasing butterflies with B.U.D.D.Y.

And here's the latest chapter of Scandalous Chemistry!:

January 31st, Friday, 1998

Dear Diary,

Well, it’s been a few literally crazy days, huh? Gretchen and I have made buying gum and going on a Spa Date into missions even my darling Pierce Brosnan wouldn’t dare take!

But what matters is that we’re getting closer and closer! I really feel like we hit a breakthrough yesterday! Gretchen actually liked Ashley stuff! Me stuff! You realize what a TOTALLY schway sign this is?? It means that maybe we really could be besties! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Of course, there’s still much work to do, especially on my end! I need to prove I can do Gretchen things tomorrow, when I visit her house and we do some science stuff! I’ll admit, I’m… Sort of, kind of, totally, absolutely, literally nervous about it. Like, what if I find it whack? Or worse, what if I’M whack? What if I hurt her feelings again?! Or what if I’m not open minded enough?! I mean, I want to be, and I still think I did a real fabulous job at the museum, but that doesn’t mean I’ll just ace this!

And I really, really want to, dear diary. I already tried to quit Gretchen, and I just can’t! This friendship means too much to me, it’s like Rachel and Ross, just not romantic! Sabrina and Harvey, just not romantic! Charlie and Kirsten, just not romantic! I don’t know why I keep naming romantic relationships, but you know what I mean!

Point is, Gretchy… Means a lot to me. And even though I’m not exactly sure why, I mean a lot to her, it seems. Why else go through all this trouble for me? So I can’t let her down, especially after she tried so hard at the mall! I just need to get into the right mindset. Ooh, I know! I’ll do, like, one of those meditation mantra thingies!

Deep breath… Science. Nerd stuff. Facts. Learning. Experiments. More science. Molecules. Chemistry. Science 2, the sequel. Wait, no, I said science, this is science 3. Science: The Reckoning. No, Science: The Revenge! You didn’t pay attention at science, and this summer, it’s gonna get PHYSICAL. I should tell that one to Gretchen! I bet she’ll laugh! Hopefully that giggle she does, that’s the best one, the one that sounds like she didn’t mean to let it out, SOOOOOOOO aesthetically pleasing!

Whoops, looks like I rambled about Gretchen again! Sorry, dear diary, that’s been happening a lot! Ugh, I’m SOOOOOO lucky I have you, and your 24k golden lock, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to talk about all this Gretchen stuff! If anyone found out what secret soulmates we are, I’d LITERALLY DIE!

‘You never write in your diary on the way to school. What juicy dirt do we have here, and is “Double Your Lunch Money” too low a price for my fellow students?’, Tyler A hissed conspiratorially, grubby little fingers edging towards the book, shifty little eyes locked in on the gossip…

Outraged, Ashley slammed the book on his fingers, making him yelp in pain while she growled like a wolf on her cheat day from a non meat diet stumbling onto houses of stick and straw. ‘Careful, or I’ll add the mark of Cain to my accessories!’

Britney A, busy chewing on the pencil Ashley had accidentally dropped, grunted out a mouthful of ‘Mommy, Ashley is using the bible to make Tyler suffer, can I too?’. She followed her question by slowly and worryingly raising a makeshift cross marked “Tyler”.

Mrs. Armbruster, for her part, laughed all this off as she cruised her 197 Chevrolet C5 Red Corvette down the mainstreet, gazing out of her window at all the appreciative men, winking and biting her lip just to see what she could make them feel. As they all clearly squirmed in overwhelming attraction, she savored it. Power, pure and simple. Even all her wealth couldn’t buy the power that came with her galaxy spanning confidence. ‘That’s rich, girls! Like me! Tyler, reading a woman’s diary is a sin as despicable as Judas, so if you don’t want me to take away your Tamagotchi…’

‘I’ll be good.’ Tyler muttered, afraid and pissed at his sisters getting away with that. Ashley sniffed importantly, heedless of his suffering. She had far more pressing matters. Speaking of… ‘Oh, mommy, by the way, this week’s sleepover is at Ashley B’s. Would you, like, be able to drive me there? I’m afraid the last few days have totally exhausted me. Tyler?’, she lent out a hand, and the boy begrudgingly handed her a cherry yogurt.

Mrs. Armbruster didn’t look back as she answered, and perhaps it was that mystery that helped coat her real tone. ‘Oh, sorry, junior, but I’m literally SOOOO busy! I have more meetings than the number of dreamy boys on Dawson’s Creek!’

‘Dang, that’s a lot of meetings.’, Ashley A whispered to herself, feeling a little guilty. Gretchen would probably have told her now something about how busy her parents could be, so even trying to picture how busy her own mother was was just… Well, impossible! ‘Oh, aiite, I’m, like, sorry, mommy, I didn’t know.’

‘Now, now, Ashley, don’t fret! There’s a long time until you’re running Armbruster Reality!’, Ashley A Sr. strategically placed pressure onto her daughter’s shoulders, wondering if she was closer to her written out destiny yet. Her ears perked up, not dissimilar to the wolf I mentioned before.

Ashley A, meanwhile, gulped audibly, the concept hitting her like a truck, as it always did. The responsibility of the Armbruster name was entrusted on her shoulders, as the eldest child of the CEO of the biggest real estate business in the Philadelphia Tri-State area. What was she gonna do, let her friends run it? Or worse, Tyler?

But it didn’t make her feel any better when she pictured it: Her, wearing furs like her mother, smoking rings and laughing haughtily at business meetings, selling housing and insurance like a real smooth talker. Could she really live up to such a legacy, when she was befriending a freak… A non-Ashley type behind her family’s back?

Still, she couldn’t let them down. Putting on a brave face, Ashley saluted firmly. ‘WHEN I run it, I’ll be sure to remember that!’

Mrs. Armbruster grinned, giddy at the thought of an early retirement. ‘That’s bangin’ to hear, Ashley! I’ll be sure to tell your father to pick you up when I’m done flossin’ my new mini skirt suit and metallic heels! Like, they’re gonna be the next big trend, you just watch!’

That seemed reasonable to Ashley, so she smiled gratefully, happy that her mother could find the time to tell her father to do what she clearly had no time to do. ‘Business comes first, after all.’, Ashley repeated a worn out family statement, nodding gently, as she slowly glanced down at the photographs she had hidden in her diary, photos she was going to hide in her locker when she arrived.

The booth photos of her and Gretchen.

Thumb stroking the one with soft smiles, she felt a bittersweet pang explode into a brilliant kaleidoscope of uncertainty in her heart. ‘Am I a real Ashley and Armbruster anymore? It’s been so long since I truly enjoyed my old company.’

As the car purred to a stop next to the school, Ashley tried to swallow the lump in her throat and wear a brave face. ‘Today is vital. Today is the day I prove I can have my cake and eat it too. Take that, Thomas, Duke of Norfolk!’

A few minutes later, the first test came, as she opened up her locker to hide the photos.

Ashley’s locker was, well, it was just what you’d expect by now, reading Chapter 24 (excluding Author’s notes): It had all the beauty treatments she could have needed, from a mirror to hairspray to hair mascara to nail polish to lipstick to lip gloss, not to mention eyeshadow; hair bows, ribbons, accessories and clothes replacements if a quick change was needed (or she just felt like spicing it up); glitter stickers, glitter pens, glitter anything, for extra sparkle; pink fuzz all over (including the outside), making it a comfy place to rest her head if needed; liner notes of her favorite Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys songs; an amount of Lisa Frank stickers even Gretchen couldn’t probably count, featuring all her favorite animals in puking glorious rainbow colors; Some of her favorite notes from her friends (mostly some great Ashley B and Q zingers about the gang, which in retrospect, she might have regretted. Was there one of Gretchen? She’d check in a moment); Bath and Body Warm Vanilla Sugar (to smell extra Ashley); Her special backpack (equipped with a million other items, and most importantly, Bear Spice, her teddy); Pink scrunchies (if she ever felt like some sort of pony tail, not that she had the hair for it, or the need, but still); and most importantly, posters and pictures, of all the things and people she loved most: Her and Ashley T belting out Mariah Carey on her karaoke machine; her and Ashley Q giggling like crazy after prank calling some loser (probably Gus or Sue Bob); her and Ashley B strutting on a pretend runway, showing off their designer purses and cool sunglasses. There were also photos of her favorite celebs and shows: Dawson’s Creek, Party of Five, Baywatch, Friends, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Hello Kitty, The Lion King, Hercules, Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, Leo Dicaprio, Katie Winselt, etc. etc. etc.

No wonder Prickly’s budget was always in the red, when four girls got to have such mega sized lockers.

But there was a new addition, one Ashley A was now installing in secret, whilst searching through her notes for an insult directed at Gretchen. Photos of said girl and her, photos that would expose their lie, unless people fell for the excuse “Oh these are for my cousin, her locker isn’t allowed to have photos in it”.

Her hands were quivering alongside her heart, but she couldn’t help but smile when she stared at the photos, placed below a poster of Simba, Timon and Pumba and next to liner notes to “Anywhere For You” by the Backstreet Boys and a heart shaped necklace. You’d miss it if you didn’t look too deeply, thankfully. Ashley stared at it, like a secret in the middle of her personal paradise, and she couldn’t help but sigh longingly, tiny hearts floating above her. ‘It would literally be so fly if I could have 4 BFF’s…’, she mused in hushed excitement, only to suddenly hear the other Ashleys approaching. Shutting her locker quickly, Ashley whistled the theme to “Dawson’s Creek”, hoping her friends didn’t notice the note in her hands.

‘Ooh, Ashley A, you just gave me a great idea! We should TOTALLY rewatch the second episode of “Dawson’s Creek”!’, Ashley T proposed, sighing wistfully as she thought of all the scandalous moments with the girls in the cast… And the boys that were there too, absolutely, but mostly the girls, which didn’t mean anything, shh. She opened her locker, which was packed to the brim with all her Barbie toys, CD’s, and pictures of Ashley Q. Ashley T had decided to place photos of her fellow Ashley’s once a week, but always forgot to replace the Ashley Q ones. Not that she minded. ‘They’re… Aesthetically pleasing. Why fix what ain’t broke, ya know?’, she lied to herself, as she hummed the wedding march just for kicks.

Ashley Q, quickly opening and closing her locket, lest anyone see her basketball posters and memorabilia among the makeup and magazines, nodded in agreement. ‘And you know what, I think we should also rewatch the latest “Sister, Sister” episode! Since “Baywatch” is the only premiere tonight.’, she suggested, as she painted her nails black and orange, not considering what that hinted at. If she did, it would be too much to bear. This was just a passing fad of hers, nothing more. Just like that time she enjoyed kickball. And just like the time she “got stuck” watching the World Series final game. And just like the time she accidentally attended a Hockey game instead of a figure skating show. And just like the time she only wanted to watch the Super Bowl for the commercials but ended up watching the whole thing. That stuff happens by accident all the time. Totally. Absolutely. Surely.

Unaware of how deep in her comrades were, Ashley B continued their conversation. ‘Seeing as it’s my turn to host, I grant official approval to those ideas, AND to rewatching the latest “7th Heaven” too. I think that will make for quite the adequate preamble to my little… Plan for this Annual Ashley Sleepover.’, B grinned like a cheshire cat as she finger tented like she was an evil yellow octogenarian nuclear mogul.

Ashley Q and T, aware of the plan, both winked at Ashley B, except the former also said ‘Wink!’ while winking and the latter leaned on her locker and then fell, making it open and drop countless photos of Ashley Q. ‘Oh, I’m so clumsy, gosh I have no idea how I got so many of these…’, she muttered, picking them up and hoping her face wasn’t turning to a tomato. ‘Soooooooo out of season.’

Ashley A, totally oblivious to all this, just like how she was totally oblivious to any romantic attraction for or from spectacled geeky girls named Gretchen, simply nodded happily and added ‘Oh, and maybe we can also rewatch the “Sabrina” episode, I thought it was SO funny and…’

‘Yes, we’ll see, anyway, as I was saying, I have many special plans for tonight’s festivities. So many that I do believe we’ll have to skip our “Clueless” viewing…’, Ashley B pretended to be upset (which wasn’t hard, she DID love seeing that movie too), but deep down she knew it was important. She didn’t care if Ashley A’s own mother was sure nothing was wrong, she couldn’t shake the feeling, and she couldn’t truly love her best friend if she didn’t know her best friend was to be trusted.

Ashley A, confused and miffed (‘Gretchen would have at least let me finish my sentence’), held up a finger in questioning. ‘But… But we ALWAYS watch “Clueless”! And besides, the others got to choose episodes…’

‘Ashley A, please. Why get so hung up on semantics when we can get hung up on all the cute boys at Gym? It’s Dodgeball day after all, and I bet they’re all going to be GLI-STEN-ING! Woo!’, Ashley B cried, startling Ashley A. She wasn’t usually THAT boy crazy. Was this just a lie to get something out of her?

‘Look at yourself, Ashley A! So used to lying to your friends, you just assume they are! I wanted to get Gretchen, not lose my other world too! Snap out of it and play along! If you need to make a sacrifice or two, then make them! That’s what FRIENDS do!’, she thought, feeling pretty proud of her dedication. She knew the other Ashley’s would do the same.

Once she left, Ashley Q and T tilted their heads at Ashley B. ‘Hey, um, you never said anything about not watching “Clueless”...’, they both said at the same time.

‘Girls, girls, please… This is for the greater good of the Ashleys! Clearly, something is up with our supposed leader. Maybe it’s nothing that important, but I want to know! None of us want a repeat of “Purple Day”, am I right?’, Ashley B reminded, and the girls nodded resolutely, terrified of such an occurrence.

‘Exactly. So a few small sacrifices are nothing compared to finding out once and for all if Ashley A still deserves to be an Ashley! And we will, once our night of games commences…’, Ashley B snickered evilly.

The 3 all chanted ‘Scandalous!’, but they couldn’t help but feel like one less voice made one big impact…

 

‘Randal!!!!!’, The bellow echoed across the school halls, akin to the shout of an elder god cursing the heavens. Every student at school pricked up, except for The Gang, who were sitting pretty in the cafeteria, enjoying the success of another plan. ‘Goodbye, “Tomato Surprise”, hello, free ice cream!’, T.J. smirked as he happily licked his strawberry flavored popsicle. The rest of the gang all enjoyed chocolate ones, but one was a little less into it than usual. ‘Guys, don’t you think that was a little… Too easy? Where’s Randal slinking his way towards Ms. Finster?’, Gretchen commented, her chocolate popsicle melting over the table. ‘You don’t mind if…’, Mikey started asking, and Gretchen simply handed him the popsicle, which was gone in seconds.

‘Gretch, did that Ashley R steal your ears or somethin’? She’s chewing out Randal! Lucky.’, Spinelli muttered, at that moment the only person in the world wishing she could trade places with the old woman. She bit aggressively into her popsicle, as if it was Randal.

Right on cue, Randal raced past the cafeteria and towards Ms. Finster’s office, looking like he was on death row. The Gang sassily waved him goodbye, minus Mikey (who was a little too nice for that) and Gretchen (who was still kind of suspicious). Finishing her note taking about yesterday’s successful experiment segment (and scrapbooking her copy of the booth photos into the journal), Gretchen sighed and mumbled ‘I’m just saying… Literally sooo suspicious.’

The Gang, eyes as wide as the flying saucers they were sure had abducted Gretchen’s brain, all blinked rapidly and rubbed said eyes. ‘Um, Gretch? Did you say what I think you said?’, Vince asked, seriously lost. Gretchen, as red as her 6th favorite planet, coughed violently and fanned her forehead. ‘Oh, I was just, um… Mocking the Ashleys! Yes! I’m sure Spinelli would approve of such banter and frivolity!’

Spinelli chuckled and fired her finger guns. ‘Finally, some sense!’

‘Yep! Anyway, look at the time! Gym any minute! I can’t wait to get my butt kicked! Physical education, truly the finest of subjects! No offense, Vincent.’, Gretchen reassured, Vince nodding. ‘It’s cool. We’ll catch up with you!’

Once Gretchen was out of earshot, Vince turned worried again, eyeing T.J. with impatient concern. ‘What is going on, Teej? Since when does Gretchen mock anyone?’

‘Hey, are we really not gonna celebrate that our resident geek’s got taste? Now if I could just get her to pound Randal just once!’, Spinelli rubbed her hands in glee, but T.J. was agreeing with Vince. ‘It’s definitely weird, but maybe that’s what happens when you hang out with Ashley R! An Ashley’s still an Ashley!’

‘Well, you know what I think?’, Gus started, sounding surprisingly serious and strategic, as he straightened his glasses. ‘I think that we’re approaching this all wrong. If Gretchen won’t just tell us about Ashley R, she must have a good reason. Let’s be honest: What does that girl have that none of us do?’

‘Fat stacks of cash?’, T.J. asked, rubbing two fingers together like he was a smarmy salesman.

‘Jordans?’, Vince asked, sighing enviously.

‘A passionate and spiritual bond that transcends our simple, prehistoric understanding of companionship? Um, that is, wavy hair?’, Mikey nearly let slip, dreamily imagining his dear friend expressing her true self.

‘The name Ashley? No, wait, that’s my name. Um… Her school! She goes to another school!’, Spinelli snapped her fingers, and the rest all nodded in agreement. ‘Oh, I think she’s on to something!’

Gus, startled, shook his head vehemently. ‘Guys, come on! Look, what’s Gretchen’s DEFINING characteristic?’

‘Excellent hacker for heists?’, T.J. proposed.

‘She’s gigantic!’, Spinelli enthused, half impressed, half envious.

‘Her bleeding heart, the soul of a poet!’, Mikey expressed, appreciative of his friend as ever.

‘Everything…’, Vince drawled, giggling a bit, only to recover and blurt out ‘Um, that is, glasses, she has glasses!’

This time, Gus rolled his eyes AND face palmed. ‘Oh my gosh, guys, SHE’S INTO SCIENCE!’

‘Oh, yeah…’, the rest of the gang slowly nodded, remembering.

‘And… Who else is into science?’, Gus encouraged them, his hands motioning them to come to his conclusion.

25 straight seconds passed until T.J. slapped the desk excitedly. ‘Bill Nye!’

‘ASHLEY R! ASHLEY R IS! DUH!’, Gus shouted, only to take a few calming breaths and sit down in his seat again. ‘Sorry. What I mean is, none of us ever really take an interest in Gretchen’s hobbies! We barely helped her out with that telescope for the eclipse a few weeks ago!’

‘Weeks? That feels like a year and a half almost…’, Mikey mused, but the gang simply continued. ‘Okay, and?’, T.J. asked, unused to Gus coming up with the plan, but intrigued all the same.

‘Well, maybe that’s what Gretch’s been so secretive lately! Ashley R allows her to express a side of herself that she can’t with us! Maybe if we showed her that she can, she’d explain to us what’s been going on, and we can put this whole stupid thing behind us!’, Gus excitedly pitched, nearly falling from the seat he was now standing on, only to be caught by Mikey, who smiled at him and shook his head. ‘So close yet so far…’, Mikey thought to himself.

‘Okay, but how? Do we go to her house and do… Science stuff?’, Spinelli voiced, confused at the proposition.

‘Basically, yeah.’, Gus replied, proud of his plan, eyes closed in satisfaction.

‘I guess that could work…’, T.J. slowly muttered, considering it. ‘I mean, anything to help out Gretchen, no?’

‘Absolutely!’, Vince and Spinelli roared in approval, while Mikey sighed, wishing they’d move on from this arc and onto the “Gretchen being cute with her girlfriend” arc. ‘What’s it gonna take for me to see some romance in this place?’, he thought, only for thundering footsteps to be heard, as Penny Bly breathlessly reached them, hair looking all out of place. ‘Thank god I caught up with you! I just saw Gretchen walking towards the gym, and I wanted to know if you want me to spy on her! Normally I wouldn’t ask, but then I thought you guys would be all high and mighty and say…’

‘No, Penny. Like we told you yesterday, we don’t want to spy on Gretchen again.’, T.J. rejected her offer with clear disdain, while Spinelli prepared her fist. Penny gulped, shaking instinctually.

‘But…’, Vince lifted a finger, smirking mischievously. ‘Ooh, a Vince plan! Hit me, buddy!’, T.J. enthused, intrigued by what Vince had to offer.

‘Well, you know, the Ashley’s Annual Sleepover is this Friday.’

‘Yeah, they never shut up about it.’, Spinelli grunted, clenching her fist harder.

‘Yeah, and remember who Ashley R is related to? Ashley A! Despite all our investigating, we still don’t know if we can trust that girl, or if she’s being forced to work for her jerk of a cousin! I’m still not ruling out “Ashley brainwashing”.’, Vince explained, crossing his arms in annoyance. How DARE they touch his… Their Gretchen.

Penny, loving this idea, nodded like a bobblehead and pointed at Vince with her pen. ‘Yes, yes! Excellent thinking, LaSalle! There’s more than one web in this twisted tale of treachery!’

‘Now, we don’t know if it’s treachery…’, Mikey reminded, worried for his friend’s secret. That Penny seemed hellbent on discovering such things. He had no idea if she was the ethical kind of journalist!

‘Treachery or not, we need to know.’, T.J. insisted, and with a curt nod shared with Vince, he turned towards Penny. ‘If you really want to help us out, then go to the Ashley’s sleepover and get all the information you can. Then, we’ll trust you.’

Saluting, Penny slinked back into the shadows. ‘You got it, Detweiller! Penny Bly, out!’

Reaching towards the vents, she crawled in and left them in silence.

‘...Yeah, that’s Library Kid’s big sister all right.’, they all finally commented, continuing to enjoy their ice cream.

 

Later, at the gym, the kids were sorted into two separate teams for Dodgeball (coach’s favorite torture method).

But whenever have Ashley A and Gretchen let the rules get in their way?

(Mortal Kombat Movie Theme)

‘Ugh, I can’t believe Dodgeball is mandatory, even for us Ashleys.’, Ashley A groaned in frustration as she screamed and ducked from a ball, her custom made pink gym clothes already covered in sweat from that little physical exertion. ‘Eww! I don’t get what Ashley B likes about this stuff, I feel like I got slimed by crying mangos!’

‘That might be the grossest thing I’ve heard in my life.’, Gretchen replied, wearing a simple white jersey with a sweatband and shorts. She looked about as out of place as the music sounded. ‘Well, that and this song. Miyamoto above, Mortal Kombat is a blithering bane of banality.’

‘Yes, I totally know what that means.’, Ashley replied with an eyebrow raise, prompting Gretchen to sigh. ‘Curse my superior vocabulary. Let me translate to Ashley: Talk to the hand because I’d rather play Pat a Cake with Ms. Finster and Randal.’

Ashley shivered, getting the message. ‘That’s gonna haunt my nightmares.’, she then scratched her head in confusion. ‘But isn’t that, like, a video game? I thought you liked those!’

Gretchen shook her head as she just about leaned to the side to avoid an oncoming ball, that struck Upside Down girl and brought her right side up. ‘I don’t like EVERY video game! I mean, do you like every Ashley thing?’

Ashley had to admit she had a point. ‘Not… Anymore.’, she muttered, realization sinking in, as a ball came towards her. ‘Ashley, six o’clock!’, Gretchen cried, and Ashley giggled, shaking her head at Gretchen. ‘Silly Gretchy, it’s just after one o’clock!’

Groaning, Gretchen grabbed Ashley and pulled her down, the ball sailing over and knocking Randal out cold. ‘Nice.’, Gretchen and Ashley both whispered, with the former taking off her glasses. ‘Careful, they can’t see us together. Here, take mine and pretend you’re Ashley R.’

Ashley nodded and took the glasses, now seeing nothing. ‘But how are you going to see the balls coming?’

‘Use your ears and listen.’, Gretchen instructed, and Ashley did so. Hearing a whistle, she pushed Gretchen to the left and held out her hands in hope, grabbing the ball.

The coach whistled, smirking. ‘Nice catch, Ashley A! Oh, wait, you’re the one with the glasses, Ashley R! Nice catch, Ashley R! Hey, where did Ashley A go?’

Ashley and Gretchen gulped, only for Ashley B of all people to come to their rescue. ‘She must have DODGED this lesson! Ha! That’s more like it! A point in her favor.’, Ashley B marked it down in a notebook, having allowed herself to be eliminated first so she could lie down on the bench and get pampered by an army of boys crushing on her. ‘Keep fanning, I’m exhausted from all this physical education!’

Ashley and Gretchen sighed in relief, then got up and kept on dodging. ‘Your left! Wow, look at us, huh? We’re a real team!’, Ashley cried, and Gretchen ducked, hurting her knee on the floor. As she wheezed, she brought Ashley down, crying ‘Duck!’, then nodded. ‘Yeah. All it takes is listening.’

Ashley pouted, feeling heavy all of a sudden. ‘If only it could always be, like, literally that simple.’

‘I mean, it is. It’s dodgeball. It’s pretty whomping stupid. Why else do you think Coach likes it?’, Gretchen explained, feeling like that was pretty obvious.

Ashley, however, pressed on with her fears. ‘No, Gretchen, I mean… Ugh, never mind, okay?’. She crossed her arms, while Gretchen helped her up and slapped a ball away from her face. ‘Take two steps to the right. Now, what’s up?’

‘What do you mean, what’s up? The ceiling?’, Ashley said with a hint of edge, but Gretchen ignored it and stepped closer to her, only for Ashley to push her back. ‘Ball your way.’, she explained, and Gretchen ducked again. ‘Well, Ashley… Quick, jump up. Well, because you always pout and cross your arms when you’re REALLY upset. And your whole body gets all heavy, you lose all your ridiculous amounts of energy. I don’t need glasses to tell by now.’

Ashley sighed, jumping over a ball. ‘Okay, you got me. I can’t lie to you. Just like I can’t… Oh, wait, come over here. Just like I can’t lie to myself. I’m worried about the Annual Ashley Sleepover today.’

‘Is it because it’s at Ashley B’s? I concur, that’s like stepping into the lion’s den.’, Gretchen agreed, as the two made a chain with their hands and pulled each other back and forth depending on where the ball was.

‘Well, that doesn’t help, but it’s more than that, Gretchy! I just… I think The Ashley’s are STILL suspicious I’m frontin’, even after yesterday! And worse, Ashley B still seems really down to frown at me! This party’s supposed to be off the hook as always, but I’m worried it’s gonna be lame! Lame because somehow we’re STILL not the way we used to be and all that!’, Ashley explained, spiraling further into a teary rant. She could feel her eyes begin to water. Any minute and she’d tarnish Gretchen’s glasses with her stupid selfish feelings.

Gretchen, sympathetic despite her own problems, tried to offer a silver lining. ‘Now, now, let’s not short circuit, Ash! Maybe you’re just being paranoid! It’s been a while since you felt truly comfortable with The Ashleys, just like my friends and I! Maybe we need to use this break from the friendship experiment to reaffirm our old friendships too! After all, it’s not like we’re only gonna rendezvous with each other!’

‘That’s true…’, Ashley admitted, slapping a ball away from Gretchen. ‘Plus, I’m kinda fiendin’ for the B household grindage. She can bulk order Kid Cuisine and Bagel Bites! My dad at least insists on cooking once in a while, her parents don’t care!’

‘I’ll admit, that sounds more concerning for her family situation than cool, but hey, whatever floats your boat.’, Gretchen smirked, dipping her away from the ball. ‘See? You’re already excited! Plus, I bet you can gossip and watch TV and, um, compare nails? Whatever you girls do at a sleepover.’

‘Heh, heh, we compare nail polish, Gretchen, not nails! But you’ll learn that soon enough next week…’, Ashley smirked, and Gretchen gulped. ‘Don’t remind me. I’ll have less stressful trips to the surgeon's room.’

Ashley giggled, and instantly, Gretchen felt better. She hated seeing Ashley like this. Their friendship wasn’t supposed to ruin all the other ones! As they rose up, she squeezed her hand in solidarity. ‘We both need this. Let’s make the best of it, huh? No need to get all worried about lies and cover stories and whatnot. Just you, me, and our old friends. Except, you know, we’re not gonna see each other, but you get it.’

‘Which is a shame! I have to wait a WHOLE day to see this secret project of yours? How did you even get any work on that this week?’, Ashley grinned, impressed, and Gretchen couldn’t help but brag a little, enjoying the attention. ‘Oh, I have my ways, Ms. Richter.’

Ashley’s grin slowly shifted into a grateful smile. She squeezed back. ‘You’re right. I’m literally overthinking this. I’ll just take a chill pill and raise the roof in that crunk. And you do the same, girlfriend! Live up that unpopular life! I wanna hear all about how happy your loser… I mean, cool friends make you!’

‘Now there’s the Ashley I know! Blindly optimistic in front of the rules of physics!’, Gretchen cracked, though she also smiled appreciatively at Ashley’s words. She really hoped this would work, she missed her friends and wanted a break from lying to them. Ashley nudged her. ‘The rules of physics ain’t got nothing on Gretchley!’

‘Gretchley?’, Gretchen questioned, confused. Ashley was quick to explain. ‘It’s like, our names together! Gretchen plus Ashley, Gretchley!’

‘Ah, like a team thing?’, Gretchen nodded, understanding. ‘Yeah!’, Ashley explained, happy Gretchen was accepting it. ‘Where’d you get that from? I never heard of that.’, Gretchen asked, curious. ‘Oh, I heard someone use it for those two from that dumb X-Files thing, I thought it was cute!’

Gretchen, well aware of what that term now meant, decided that dying in a gymnasium from being given a shipping name by her totally platonic friend would not be ideal for her plans that weekend, and so, just pretended she didn’t hear anything. Suddenly, they heard Gus cry out next to them ‘Stop holding hands and move aside, rookies!’. As the duo blushed a little at how long they held hands, Gus rose up and spiked a ball right towards Ashley Q, who was busy talking to Ashley T and spiking it back without looking. Gus roared to the song’s tune and hit back, and Ashley Q responded with another strike back. The two hit the ball back and forth over and over while the rest of the gym just stared in confusion at this unlikely final, outside of Ashley T and Cornchip Girl, who were very much enjoying the spectacle. ‘What a man!’, Cornchip Girl fanned herself. Ashley T covered Barbshley’s eyes. ‘Lord forgive me for my unholy thoughts, I’m just… Practicing for when boys… Do that. Gulp.’

‘...Yeah, perhaps we’d all benefit from a break.’, Gretchen voiced, as Ashley nodded. ‘Damn, skippy.’

 

Later that day, before the sleepover but after school, Ashley B had much to arrange at her house.

So she sat in her bed and had Menlo do it.

‘Did you arrange last minute details on the landline?’, Ashley B asked with her back to Menlo, busy arranging something.

‘Yes, Ashley B…’, Menlo started, frustrated as he climbed up the stairs, only to be interrupted by Ashley B, who chided him like a mother. ‘Ap, ap, ap!’

‘...Yes, President Ashley.’, Menlo gagged out, shivering like he just said a forbidden word. ‘What would my dear Ashley A think?’

‘Ashley A better get used to it like you. Because even if she DOES prove herself today, I am far more fit for the presidency. I don’t need to constantly prove I can be trusted.’, Ashley B reminded, still fiddling with something Menlo couldn’t see.

As he sighed and placed spice girl plates full of creme savors, face twisters sour candy dough, crazy dips, spray candy, fun dip and pop qwiz down on Ashley B’s mega tea party set (pink table, chairs, saucers, etc.), he couldn’t help but voice a niggling question that bothered every wrinkle of his brain. ‘...Why?’

‘Why? Why what?’, Ashley B asked absent mindedly, getting her special fit for the party ready and trying out each accessory in front of her personal mirror. She was going to out glamor Ashley A or die trying.

‘Why does she have to prove herself?’, Menlo asked, arranging the Cosmopolitans by date. He was STILL Menlo. ‘Didn’t she already do so? I remember you were pleased with how she handled the project with Gretchen, not to mention you wouldn’t stop bragging about how your Annual Ashley Sleepover two weeks ago was the best one ever. Why does she need to prove herself again?’

‘You mean, besides the fact that you were dressed like her in her room?’, Ashley B’s reply was laced with impatience and venom, and Menlo instantly regretted protesting in Ashley’s defense, but B still provided an answer. ‘You can deny it all you want, Menlo. Something is up with her. I don’t know what, and maybe yesterday was a fluke. But I’m a lot smarter than people think. I’m second in command for a reason.’

Suddenly, Ashley B’s father and mother, both pacing back and forth outside the room, constantly yapping on their phones about work meetings, looked into the room for a moment. ‘We’ll be out all night, Armbruster Reality first quarter planning sessions. Brittney and Tyler are with friends. You’re fine on your own, right?’

Before Ashley B could answer, the parents took it as a yes and began to depart. As if possessed, Ashley B suddenly raced towards them and blocked their way to the stairs. ‘Hey, um… What do you think of my new look? For the party? Pretty fly, huh?’

‘It’s great, Ashley.’, they remarked, marching downstairs like two robots on the run. The echo was obscene, ringing across the practical mansion of a house like volcanic eruptions. Everything in the house was remarkably clean, shiny, pristine and untouched. The dinner table didn’t even have chairs next to it, and there was a disturbing lack of family photos. To all intents and purposes, this was a ghost family. Here, Ashley B held no position. The Ashleys clubhouse was different. There, you’d know Ashley B existed.

Ashley B stood there for a moment, fists clenched so violently you could have sworn she’d explode, before marching back into her room and to her other project: a huge Polly Pocket collection with 4 specific houses that bore striking resemblances to her and the Ashleys. ‘...I’m second in command for a reason.’, she repeated, as if under a spell, and Menlo wasn’t sure if pressing on was wise, so he decided not to.

They worked a little more in silence, while Ashley B focused specifically on her and Ashley A’s lockets, positioning the two little dolls next to each other. ‘Ashley A, I know you must be fed up with me by now. I’m sure you think I’m some… Some power hungry scrub. But I’ve worked SOOO hard to get to where I am, to earn my place on the Ashleys, and it’s all thanks to you. You held me to high standards and got the best out of me. I’m just… Returning the favor.’

In Ashley B’s mind, she was truly doing the right thing. In Ashley B’s heart, she felt a void, a void not filled since Purple Day. Call it best friend intuition, but she knew that Ashley A was… Different. Perhaps that different wasn’t a bad thing. Perhaps she was just going through some… Phase!

But phase or not, understandable or not, even if she came across like some greedy, selfish bitch, Ashley B knew that one fact reigned supreme, one fact made her life worth it, made this big empty house worth it, made this big empty family worth it…

‘Ashleys literally before all.’, Ashley B whispered, as she stared in hopeful desperation at her notebook, taping Ashley A’s doll onto it as a prison till she proved worthy of escaping, stuck underneath a headline simply titled “Ashley Trials”.

 

‘So, to recap…’, Penny asked, jotting words down a mile a minute like she was faster than the speed of light. One could tell writing was a passion, alongside sneaking around for a story. One would have thought Penny had tickets to Disneyland. ‘While you 5 go to Gretchen’s to work your “Special Interest theory”...’

‘I prefer Operation: Hobby-steria, but you do you.’, T.J. commented, leaning on a street lamp. The kids were in the middle of the street, with the orange afternoon sun casting shadows all over them. It was like a scene out of a shady western.

‘I will shadow the Ashleys to the party and listen in to the whole thing with my “toys”...’, Penny chuckled conspiratorially, revealing her bugs and lockpicks. She wiggled them around her fingers like a yo-yo.

Mikey sighed, clearly doubtful about this plan. ‘Isn’t this worryingly similar to what Richard Nixon did?’

‘Didn’t he do the V-sign? That means peace, that’s good, no?’, Spinelli asked, missing the point. ‘Yeah, I’m not a crook!’, T.J. impersonated, making her laugh and nudge him.

Mikey sighed, emotions swirling around his stomach, as he clutched it. ‘It just don’t feel right. Not even to the Ashleys. It’s one thing to spy on them when we know they’re doing something wrong, but they’re just having a sleepover! We don’t even know if Ashley R will be there! Plus, she sounded, um, quite trustworthy!’

‘And what makes you think that?’, Vince asked, crossing his arms. ‘Where’s your evidence, man?’

‘That’s what I gay, I mean say, okay?’, Mikey protested, holding his real reasons back as much as he can. ‘Big Guy, I get it, honest, but sometimes you gotta bend the rules a bit for your friends! Think of all the times we’ve broken school rules! This is for Gretchen, not for ice cream or balls!’, Gus reminded, patting his friend’s back. ‘I know that, Little Guy, but…’, Mikey protested again, before Penny (desperate to keep the operation going) grabbed his hand and tightened it hard, like a handshake of life or death importance. ‘Mikey, look at me.’

Mikey did, and he was startled by the steely determination in Penny’s eyes, mixed in with something curiously innocent, the moral code of a well meaning child. ‘There’s nothing I value more than exposing the truth. If Ashley R is innocent, then I will see to it that your friends come to terms with that fact. But if something is afoot, I will sniff it out with no discrimination.’

Something about the promise felt true and genuine, and despite his brain’s worries, his gut feeling told him that deep down, Penny could be trusted. With a slight nod, Mikey allowed her to try. ‘Okay. I’ll trust you, Penny.’

Penny nearly opened her mouth when hearing her name, but stopped herself. With a salute, she squirreled away, riding on a bicycle towards Ashley B’s house.

And with a curt nod shared, the gang began walking over to Gretchen’s house, hoping to finally crack the mystery of her heart.

 

Ashley had never understood the term “Butterflies in my stomach”. First of all, how did they get there? They only lived for one day! Secondly, butterflies were too cute to ever be somewhere as gross as the human body!

Most importantly, Ashley didn’t get nervous. Nerves were for losers with no class or style. An Ashley had to control every room she walked in, to be the center of attention. You couldn’t do that if you were afraid of said attention!

And yet, for the first time in her life, Ashley felt this strange and worrying sensation, as her father drove her ever closer to Ashley B’s house. It was almost 17:00, and the sun was beginning to set. Soon, all of the town would be bathed in the inky night, except for the Annual Ashley Sleepover, that would only be cast with shadows of deception.

Ashley hated this nervous feeling, it felt so… UnAshley. This was supposed to be fun, like Gretchen had said. She looked forward to all the activities they’d be up to. What was wrong? What was off?

Mr. Armbruster, overhearing her small, nearly imperceptible whimpers of concern, smirked and made his voice deeper to sound like he was landing a plane. ‘Um… Attention, passengers, this is your, urrrrr, captain speaking… On your left you can see houses featuring background characters no one cares about… ummm… On your right you can see the Boulet residence, our final destination, where you’ll find the lovely Ashley Armbruster situated for tonight. Make sure to fawn over her and maybe you’ll be blessed with a smidge of her beauty.’

Ashley perked up, and couldn’t help but smile, rolling her eyes affectionately. Her daddy was always finding silly ways to make her smile. Usually she didn’t pay much attention to it, but now? Now it was worth its weight in gold.

Opening her car door and slinking out like a cat (fittingly enough, considering who was napping in her backpack), Ashley turned back to her father, who had lowered the window for her to speak, and with a voice uncharacteristically quiet, whispered ‘Thanks for driving me, daddy.’

A simple sentence, really. Ridiculously simple. And it spoke to the problematic Armbruster family dynamic that such a phrase was so very rarely heard.

But for Xavier (who was doggone tired from a long day at work, and was unfortunately going to have to drive back for the first quarter meeting), those words worked better than any cup of coffee.

‘You enjoy yourself, princess, okay? These are the best years of your life, with the bestest friends you’ll ever have. Live it up for me, will ya?’, he asked, softly, and Ashley nodded, even giving him a little kiss on the forehead.

Waving goodbye (as did sleepy Ashley M from the backpack), Ashley A took a deep breath and stared up at the Boulet mansion, a green two story house with trees as far as the eye could see. It was so large and imposing, you could only just about see the beginnings of the moon hide behind the shed. Ashley thought of what Gretchen and her father said, and determined to make the most of it, stepped onto the patio and rang the doorbell, that echoed like church bells on mass. Dingggg, donggggg, dinggggg, donggggg… Dinggggg, donggggg, dinggggg, dongggggg…’

So enamored she was with the sound that Ashley didn’t notice the door open, until Ashley B cleared her throat loudly, eyes glazing in annoyance.

Ashley, startled by the sudden sound, jumped, as did Ashley M from out the backpack, landing on the girl’s head, both laughing nervously. ‘Heh, heh… Sorry, Ashley, I was just distracted by your door bell. It sounded SOOOOOOO nice!’, she tried complimenting, sure that it was a very adult thing to compliment.

Ashley B, however, simply got more annoyed. ‘I’ve had that doorbell my entire life.’

‘...Just goes to show how much taste you had even as a baby!’, Ashley A tried to save, her smile growing more and more awkward, as she swung her fist from one side to the other to emphasize the taste.

Ashley B sighed, shaking her head. ‘WhatEVER. Let’s just get this party started, girl.’

Taking this as an invitation to enter, Ashley wiped her shoes on the mat (just in case) and strolled in, amazed as always by how wide and all encompassing Ashley B’s house was. To her, it looked like a palace out of a fairytale, the white decor nearly blinding.

So was Ashley B’s ensemble: Alongside an absolutely sparkling honey yellow dress with bumblebee earrings, she was sporting pretty butterfly clips in her hair, shiny black platform shoes that made her seem taller than any of the Ashleys, and a sequined belt that glimmered like 500 suns encrusted with diamonds. Ashley had to block her eyes at first, so taken aback by the look. ‘Like, shut up, girl! You look LITERALLY Milano! Literally!’

‘Thank you, thank you. It is quite the SCANDALOUS look.’, Ashley B took the praise, but focused back on her mission immediately. She could value the praise later. ‘Now, until Ashley Q and Ashley T arrive, make yourself comfortable, treat yourself to our state of the art Diet Coke fountain.’

Ashley gawked at the fountain, a new addition to B’s reportraire. She happily scooped up some with a ready glass engraved with Ashley B’s face, and savored the flavor, making happy humming noises. ‘That’s SO yummy! I think I can taste my dentist’s disapproval!’

‘15% more industrial. We Boulet’s have high standards. It’s how one survives in this cutthroat business.’, B explained with a smug grin, stabbing a barbie kitchen knife onto the table (the knife falling flatly on the side). Smirking, she whispered to the still drinking Ashley ‘Make the most of this rest, A. My plans are gonna make this an unforgettable sleepover, and you need to be at your peak Ashley performance.’

This gave Ashley pause, and she stopped drinking greedily to voice her concerns. ‘Um, yeah, like, about that? I was wondering… What ARE those plans? I’m sure they’re TOTALLY schway, but you know, a girl likes to be prepared.’

Ashley B grinned maliciously, sending a shiver down Ashley A’s spine. ‘That’s for me to know and for you to find out. But don’t worry…’, she remarked, as she left the table and looked back menacingly, snapping her fingers. ‘A proper Ashley would pass this with her eyes closed.’

With that, Ashley B retreated to the kitchen to prepare some things, while Ashley A now found herself very small and alone in the gigantic living room, surrounded by a whole lot of white nothingness, and a diet coke fountain that was suddenly less enticing.

As if to answer her scared shaking, Ashley M climbed out of the backpack and meowed at Ashley A, who bit her lip in fear and whispered like she was hiding from a monster. ‘Ashley M, baby, listen: I think Ashley B is trying to prove my loyalty again. We don’t know what she’s capable of, and honestly… I don’t know if I can do it alone.’

Ashley M instantly saluted, ready to help, and Ashley A smiled slightly and rubbed her head in appreciation. ‘Thank you, Muffin.’

Shifting into a serious stare, the two conspiratorially planned their survival. ‘Here’s what we’ll do: I’ll take on her silly game, while you warn me each time of what’s gonna happen. If you think it’s too much for me too handle, or you see me struggle, then rush over to Gretchen’s house. It isn’t far from here, thankfully.’

Ashley M nodded curtly, and sneakily prowled towards the kitchen, ready to find out what Ashley B’s twisted mind was concocting.

Ashley A, meanwhile, took another swig of diet coke, feeling the total opposite of relaxed and “living it up”. ‘I knew this was a bad week to quit.’, she voiced, taking a bubblegum cigar and puffing on it as if it were a real one.

 

‘So, are we all clear on the plan?’, Gus asked, still surprisingly in charge, as the gang marched down the street, Gretchen’s house in their sights. Opening the fence and letting everyone through first, Mikey nodded, albeit reluctantly. ‘Oh, I’m clear. We’re emotionally manipulating Gretchen by feigning interest in her area of expertise, you know, something she’s probably been secretly hoping for for years.’

‘I’d word it a lil nicer…’, T.J. remarked, struggling to deny that that was what it was in a nutshell. Pure motivation or not, they were still using dirty tactics. Was this a new thing for them? No, no it wasn’t. But it was hard not to at least feel a bittersweet taste to the whole sordid affair.

‘I’d word it “necessary”. If we’re Gretchen’s friends, then we have to do everything in our power to find out if something is wrong with her. If she won’t be straight with us, why should we be straight with her?’, Vince countered while stepping across Gus to take the closest spot to the door, his words oddly prophetic all things considered.

‘Guys, are we still debating this? We all agreed Gretchen’s been acting all coco for coco puffs lately! We absolutely HAVE to investigate this! If that means a little acting, so what, big deal! Gretchen would know that it came from a good place.’, Spinelli doubled down, looking back for a moment. She was expecting Randall to pop up, but he wasn’t there… Yet.

Mikey sighed and rolled his eyes, displeased with his friends activity, but too non confrontational to go any further in protest. He stuck to a simple crossing of his arms. ‘I’m just saying, what if Gretchen wants to keep this private?’

‘Why? You know anything?’, Vince asked, suspicious of his friend suddenly, raising an eyebrow and staring him right in the eyes. Mikey averted his gaze, worried his cover would break.

Suddenly, a sharp whistle sounded, and everyone turned to Gus, who shook his head at them, steely and serious. ‘Guys, focus! We’re here to help a friend, not turn on each other!’

Vince eased up, instantly filling with shame. Why had he jumped like that? ‘Sorry, Mikey.’, he said, leaving the rest unspoken.

Mikey didn’t need to hear it. He simply nodded. ‘It’s cool, Vince.’

Everyone now prime and ready, Gus flashed a thumb’s up and knocked on the door.

Gretchen, who had spotted them earlier from her window, was already at the door, grinning from ear to ear. It had been a while since anyone had seen her THAT happy, at least, anyone whose name didn’t start with A and end with Shley Armbruster/Richter. ‘Greetings, friends!’, she beamed, her feet beginning to descend to the yard below. ‘What’s on the agenda? Did you bring your frisbee, Vince? Because I was considering some modifications to soup it up a little for you! I read this fascinating article in Metal and Wood about how the likelier a head injury, the more fun one has…’, the scientist ranted, only to be stopped by Spinelli, who shook her head.

Confused, Gretchen swiveled her head back to T.J, who elbowed Gus, reminding him it was his plan. Gus, suddenly shrinking a little, attempted to cough out the pitch. ‘Oh, um… Well, you see, Gretchen, the gang and I were just thinking about, um…’, he trailed off, and realizing he needed help, T.J stepped in. ‘About HOW we do all kinds of things, but we don’t really do YOU things, you know?’. Gus, relieved, nodded enthusiastically, subtly fist bumping T.J. ‘Yes, exactly, that! You things!’

‘Me things?’, Gretchen tilted her head, confused at first, only to understand, as she snapped her fingers and clicked her tongue. ‘Oh, of course! You mean my scientific endeavors, right?’

Vince, who was smiling a little too hard, flashed a thumb’s up. ‘Uh huh! I mean, you’re part of the gang, right? We’re supposed to respect every group member’s interests! I personally think that it’s really, um, wizard, how you’re a woman of science and stuff.’

Gretchen blinked at that adjective, long enough for Spinelli to push her back into the house. ‘So why not show us that ol’ lab of yours, huh? Any cool projects you got going on? Any that involve violence? Because that would actually be intere…’, she began, only for T.J to shake his head violently, making Spinelli stutter and rephrase. ‘That is, um, that would be… Surprising! Since you’re not really that cool VIOLENT… I meant violent!’

Gretchen shrugged, confused. ‘Since when are you this obsessed with hurting people?’

‘I haven’t given Randall a good beatdown in ages, okay? I’m in withdrawal, gimmie a break.’, Spinelli explained, shuffling her feet. Perhaps she was just feeling a lil bad about lying. This was so much easier on TV, when it was obvious who was the good guy and bad guy. Why couldn’t life be more like WWF?

Moving on from that, Gretchen stared at the gang, who were all smiling widely, except for Mikey, who just seemed kinda down, and bit her lip, uncertain at this odd display. ‘Since when do they care? They don’t really find my gadgeteering interesting. Not that I’m complaining, but this is sort of out of the blue.’, she thought, measuring the possibilities, only to remember her own advice for Ashley. ‘What am I, a hypocrite? My friends are being nice, and here I am, suspecting the worst! Especially after all the lying I have done, what place do I have to consider other motives? No, no, I said I’d have fun, and I will!’

Playing up the part a little to truly get into it, Gretchen put on a big smile again (just with more effort needed) and waved onto the stairs. ‘I’d be honored to share my latest works with my dearest companions! Free admission, just try not to ruin the carpet!’

Making up the rear of the group, Gretchen’s smile grew a little more genuine. ‘I sure hope Ashley’s getting this lucky!’

 

Meanwhile, outside of Ashley B’s house…

(to the tune of “In the Hall of the Mountain King” by Edvard Grieg)

Penny Bly, armed head to teeth with notebooks, cameras, lockpicks and chicken liver and onion omelets (hey, a person gets hungry) crawling from one bush to the next, from one tree branch to the next, sang aloud to a theme song she cooked up for herself just a few hours earlier, as she got closer and closer to her target destination:

“I was born to chase a lead,

I’m a sly, sneaky stead.

Except I’m not a horse

But you must know what I mean!

At the paper office, yes

Where I work, but I digress

I expose, dirty lies,

That harm democracy!

Call me smarmy, call me snitch,

Call me a dirty, rotten bi…Stitch

Cool it, dude, I’ve got the ‘tude to blow up this whole sitch!

So I’m slimy, all alone,

I’ll be read, tome to tome

I’ll win ya over, like Augustus won over Rome (I’m smart, see?)

Love isn’t shared, it’s earned

Got no wings? Just twist and turn

Be the one to spoil the fun and laugh as it all burns!

This is it, this my chance, this my moment to entrance

Fear the truth? No, Fear the sleuth

Penny’s gonna dance!

Fear the truth, no, fear the sleuth,

Penny’s gonna danceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

And just as she finished singing, she swung from one branch, missed the next, and smacked into the mirror, smearing over it as Ashley A drank her diet coke sadly.

Despite the pain, she still managed to cheer for herself. ‘Yay… Penny’s number one, baby…’

Fainting onto the ground, Penny quickly got up and set up her spy equipment, starting off with a simple listen in from the window. ‘Let’s see what our sound quality is like…’, she muttered, straining her ears. Unfortunately, she could barely make up any words, unless Ashley A had had a stroke, of course, and had said ‘Flicka bliga smagga wagga ding dong’.

‘I guess it’s not very… Sound.’, Penny joked, suddenly pushing a button on her boombox, which played a laugh track. ‘I told her it was a SOUND investment!’, she quipped again, pushing the button once more. ‘Yep, worth every PENNY.’, she joked one last time, before slapping herself with a hand puppet made of mops. ‘Penny, this is serious! Focus on your mission!’, she imitated a gruff voice, before saluting. ‘Aye aye, captain.’, she narrowed her eyes, and tiptoed towards the other side of the house, searching for a ladder to climb onto the window.

While she did that, the two other Ashley’s finally arrived from very different car atmospheres: Ashley T was sent off with a drawing of a rabbit’s foot, her mother buried knee deep in astrology magazines while her father kept turning the key the wrong way to stop the car. As she simply rolled her eyes at her parents interesting interpretation of human thought, stepping off carefully so as to not get any mud on her sea foam green dress (she was told to dress very importantly for the challenges), she took note of the other arriving car, hoping it was Ashley Q being fashionably late too. It would make them similar, and for reasons Ashley T just couldn’t yet truly comprehend, that would make her giggly for the rest of the evening.

Ashley Q had nothing to feel giggly about, however. As she unbuckled her seatbelt, the cold metal momentarily sending a chill through her palm, she felt nothing out of the ordinary. After all, this was the sensation she felt every second spent with these people. Her father, a rigid wall of muscle that couldn’t be moved by Zeus himself, slowly parked the car and refused to turn his face to her, as did her mother, who was about the most elegant and esteemed company one could hope for, akin to meeting a nymph. Ashley Q had to take people’s words for it.

‘...Well, I’ll be going…’, Ashley Q started, only for her father to do that gruff cough which meant “Listen up, child”, and so, she reluctantly froze, awaiting the inevitable scolding.

Her mother started, still refusing to turn, the shadows of their “concern” the only visual spared for Ashley Q. ‘You spend far too much time partaking in such trivial pursuits, daughter.’

‘Quite.’ her father agreed, gripping the steering wheel like it was made of play-do. ‘You’re a growing girl. You need to start thinking of your future in Armbruster Reality. COO is a serious position. It requires commitment and effort. Qualities you lack in spades.’

Ashley Q bit her lip. This was no unusual thing. In fact, if Ashley T ever let herself notice the girl’s lips more, she would have noticed the scar that had developed by now from years of biting. Opting not to speak, Ashley Q simply nodded.

‘Tomorrow, we expect you up for a tour at 5:30 sharp.’, Mrs. Quinlan coldly stated, Mr. Quinlan nodding slightly.

Ashley Q balked at this, however, her fighting spirit unable not to protest. ‘Ah… What? It’s Saturday tomorrow! And Armbruster Reality doesn’t open until 8:00!’

The death grip her hand suddenly received made her bite her tongue this time instead, drawing just a spot of blood. There was no light behind the eyes that stared her down, but that wasn’t news to Ashley Q. ‘We can always drive home.’, her father “gently threatened”, and Ashley Q shook her head, fear flaring up in every hair on her body. ‘I… Don’t know what came over me, father. I’ll follow your orders.’

‘You better.’, was the chilling response.

Stumbling out of the car, Ashley Q nearly ruined her sky blue dress, the wet grass in Ashley B’s yard shedding dew tears onto the hems. She breathed deeply, trying to ignore how they ignored her by leaving without so much as a goodbye.

Suddenly, she felt the presence of a hand in front of her face, which instinctually made her flinch, until she realized whose hand it was. Soft and sweet, a chocolate milk brown swirl that was as natural and soothing as mother earth’s proudest lands. But it wasn’t natural enough… It wasn’t the way things were meant to be…

Ashley Q reluctantly took the hand, and did everything she could to ignore the electric sparks bursting from every fingertip shared with Ashley T. If she did notice, she would burn like a forest fire, and then perhaps no one, not even her parents, could douse her down to reality.

‘Literally schway evening, huh, Ashley Q? Perfect for an Annual Ashley Sleepover!’, Ashley T cheerfully greeted, unable to contain her joy at seeing the ginger trendsetter.

Ashley Q, unable to uncontain her joy at seeing the bashful brunette, directed all her resentment and frustrations at Ashley A, the girl ruining her one escape from life. ‘That depends on Ashley A, doesn’t it?’

Ashley T gulped, nodding quietly. ‘I’m sure B’s plan will work.’

Ashley Q would have liked to be certain. But right now, she was experiencing the only thing worse than falling into hell: Falling into hell and not knowing if there’s a level below.

‘Come on. Let’s make sure B’s just paranoid.’, Q expressed, and she and T silently walked towards the house, hands begging to touch again but ripped away by the nature of their forms.

‘Dingggg, donggggg, dinggggg, donggggg… Dinggggg, donggggg, dinggggg, dongggggg…’

The door was swiftly opened, but not by Ashley B. It was instead Ashley A, who beamed uncontrollably at her friends, a necessary lighthouse in the storm that was building in her mind’s eye. ‘Girls! SOOOOOO schway to see you! Totes da bomb! Ooh, you are lookin’ hella fine! No one told me there was gonna be a dress code.’, she enthused, then chuckled in embarrassment, feeling very out of place in her casual “Hello Kitty” pink Tee and comfortable brown skirt. Was this not a slumber party?

Ashley Q ignored her spiel, walking right past her to talk to Ashley B in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Ashley T offered her an awkward smile, knowing full well what was about to happen. ‘Yeah, um, it’s just part of Ashley B’s plans!’

‘Ashley B seems really excited about all this. You think it’s gonna be our best crunk of the year so far?’, Ashley A asked excitedly, eyes sparkling, and Ashley T decided to let her have this moment at least. ‘Yeah, I’m… Literally sure.’, she lied, hoping against hope that Ashley B was wrong, since she already wanted to apologize to Ashley A for all that was about to transpire.

Alas, it was too late. Out of the kitchen stepped Ashley B and Q (the former signaling T to join), the three Ashley’s now looking quite a bit more… Important than Ashley A, who was feeling sillier and sillier just in her casual clothes. It didn’t help that B’s mansion was so enormous, with wide open spaces. It was as if the far away walls wouldn’t even close on Ashley, so unimportant she was.

Standing in a row in front of her, the three Ashley’s slowly raised a CD player and put on “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls. Ashley A would normally have instantly begun dancing to the hypnotic beat, but she could feel that this was a solemn moment, and stood still, growing increasingly anxious about all this pomp and circumstance.

‘Ashley Armbruster the second, present yourself to the rest of the club, please.’, Ashley B commanded, voice brimming with authority. For a moment, Ashley A had thought her own mother was speaking. Walking up to the three, she awkwardly presented her clothes and sheepishly grinned. ‘Um, present! Not as… Prim and proper as I’d prefer, but��’

‘Ap, ap, ap.’, Ashley B silenced her with a finger to the lips, before snapping her fingers to order B and T around. The duo snapped (ha) into action and raced to the side cabinet, which had the landline phone atop its white and green doily, and by the sunflower vase. While they did this (well, Ashley Q did, Ashley T was already gasping for air), Ashley B stared down at Ashley A, and while the former was the same height as the latter, somehow, Ashley A felt like a dwarf next to her.

‘You must be wondering what all this is about, aren’t you?’, B whispered, perhaps enjoying this position of power a little too much. Ashley A definitely thought it was odd how much fun B was having when all she had done so far was act weird, but she decided to play along. It wasn’t like she had a clue what was going on, anyway. ‘Totally.’, Ashley replied, hand reaching out towards a recently laid bowl of creme savors.

B slapped her hand away, making A gasp and kiss her pain away. ‘Owie! What was that for?!’, Ashley protested, startled at the attack. ‘That’s not very stylish, or…’

‘On the contrary, dear Ashley! This is all ABOUT beauty, style, and attitude! Specifically, yours!’, Ashley B explained loudly and enthusiastically, waving an umbrella around like a cane as the landline phone was placed next to the slightly less confused fashionista. She was starting to realize what was going on.

‘Oh no… Are you still… Unsure of my loyalty to the Ashley’s?’, Ashley A asked, tears stinging her eyes. Half because they didn’t trust her… Half because she knew they truly couldn’t.

‘Oh, it’s FAR more complicated than that!’, Ashley B seemed to reassure, which made Ashley feel better. She really didn’t wanna stain the gorgeous cashmere carpet with her tears. B put an arm around her, allowing her just a little bit of human contact before the trials began. ‘You see, we just think that an organization like ours should be extra sure after a SCANDALOUS disaster such as “Purple Day”, don’t you, Ashley A?’

Ashley A gulped, unable to deny the concept proposed by B. ‘I… I suppose…’, she stuttered, fingers shaking in fear. Wasn’t this supposed to be just a fun lil sleepover?

As if to answer her question, Ashley B continued speaking of the plan. ‘Now, now, we’ll get to the fun parts soon enough, I promise. After all, if you have nothing to hide, truly, then this should be a walk in the park, no?’

Ashley A again had to agree with B, and she nodded obediently. Only problem was she DID have something to hide. ‘But, um, if I may… What makes you think that… That I still need to prove myself? I kinda thought I already did.’, Ashley nervously laughed, wishing this was a dream, wishing she could just wake up and it was Purple Day again and she could start all over…

‘I don’t think you need to!’, Ashley T spoke up, only to get death glares from B and Q. Yiping, she contradicted herself, nodding her head and shaking her hands. ‘That is, um, I’m like the judge of a hot boy contest featuring the Backstreet Boys: Undecided!’

B explained her reasoning, as the phone cabinet wheeled closer and closer to A. ‘Oh, it’s VERY simple, Ashley. We DO want to believe you, but there are still a few odd loose ends that make us want to be extra sure. You know how high our standards are. We cannot afford any weak points, can we?’

Once more, Ashley A agreed, ignoring how terrible she felt inside. She wasn’t weak, she just liked Gretchen, that’s all! She could be both! ‘I can be both, damn it!’, she thought, but B had an ace in the hole to make sure she complied with the challenges.

‘Besides, just yesterday we were all quite surprised when we walked into your room and found Menlo playing the dollar store version of you.’, B hissed in her ear, and now Ashley A knew she had no choice. She had to do this, she had to pass this, or else her friends wouldn’t love her anymore!

‘...I have nothing to hide. I’m an Ashley, through and true. Like, talk to the hand, because this girl ain’t leavin’ anywhere!’, Ashley pumped herself up, hoping it would at least lower some of the pressure.

Ashley B certainly seemed to deem it an acceptable answer, glare noticeably lowering a bit. Nodding at Q and T, the two finally handed the phone to Ashley A, who was confused. ‘So, um, do you want me to order pizza, or…’, Ashley started, making everyone laugh. ‘I see your humor hasn’t been lost, at least.’, Ashley B grinned, shaking her head. ‘Of course we’d give you a harder challenge than that! Plus, don’t you remember what we use the landline for?’

Ashley A’s eyes glinted as she flashed back to the picture of her and Q in her locker, realizing what they were implying. Despite herself, a small sinister smile grew. She was STILL Ashley A, after all. ‘Oh, you want me to prank call someone? Wow, like, that’s literally soooooooo funny! You really had me going, guys! I could do this in my sleep!’, Ashley bragged, spinning the receiver like a plate in a circus. Eyes closed confidently, she whistled as she hovered over the numbers (of course, she had memorized every phone number in her class). ‘So, like, who are we gonna mess with? Sue Bob? Cornchip Girl? Oh, oh, how about we do Spinelli? It’s been ages, and she really isn’t that smart, after all, unlike me.’, Ashley A cockily sniggered, slipping back into bad habits. Perhaps it was the relief. This WAS going to be the usual Ashley business, and in a way, she missed it a little. Plus, she wasn’t actually hurting anyone she liked (like Gretchen) or was culpable in her recent deceptions, like…

‘Menlo. I think Menlo would be a FABULOUS candidate, don’t you, Ashley Q?’, Ashley B’s smirk could have peeled off the paint on every wall. Ashley Q nodded, adding ‘Literally the best freak for the job, isn’t he, Ashley T?’. Ashley T, still a little guilty about all this, flashed two thumbs ups and hoped those sufficed as an agreement.

Ashley A’s heart dropped like an elevator allergic to heights. The color drained from her cheeks and lips. Somewhere out there, her mother was tutting in disappointment, sensing her genes tainted by slightly less attractive fellow members.

Pointing at the phone weakly, mouth so dry she could just about cough out the letters, she wheezed ‘M…Menlo?’

‘Yes, M…Menlo!’, Ashley B mocked, earning a snide laugh from Ashley Q and a forced one by Ashley T. The de facto leader tapped the numbers for Ashley A, who had frozen for some reason. ‘Why not? Menlo isn’t exactly winning any popularity contests with us. He’s not exactly a cover star on “Seventeen”, is he?’

Ashley A obviously agreed, but her hesitation came from a different area. ‘I just mean, do we HAVE to? He’s such an EASY target! Like, BO-RING ville called, they want your target, heh heh. Why not go for someone far less vital to my plans I MEAN BORING like, um… Gelman!’, Ashley tried, but B sneered. ‘No one CARES about Gelman, Ashley A!’

Somewhere out there, Gelman cried into his pillow again. But he’s not important to the story, so we move.

Patting her shoulder with glistening honey nails, Ashley B buzzed around Ashley A, pestering her to go on. ‘Come on, Ashley A, this is in your BLOOD. I thought you said we had nothing to worry about? I thought you said you’re full Ashley, all the time?’

‘I am, I am!’, Ashley A insisted, getting a little angry for a moment. Just because she liked Gretchen didn’t make her any less of an Ashley.

‘Then it shouldn’t be hard to prank Menlo, right?’, Ashley B posited, and Ashley A, after a moment, nodded resolutely. Not like she liked him, after all. Plus, what did she have to do? Tell him she might let him carry her books if he did something menial like her homework?

But as she began dialing the numbers, Ashley B chose this inopportune time to call the challenge, in order to REALLY test her allegiance. ‘It’s SOOOO simple, Ashley A! You just have to call Menlo and flirt with him and ask him out for tomorrow!’

Ashley A could have died on the spot. In fact, she might have for a moment. She was sure she could see a bright light, and a bearded figure scratch his head, going ‘Hey, you’re not due another 90 something years!’

When she shook her head back to reality, she found herself growing even paler (unfortunately, she couldn’t enjoy how that matched her nightwear). Gulping, Ashley A tried to find some sort of excuse to get out of this for now, just to plan ahead a bit, but by the time she swallowed the lump in her throat, the voice on the other line responded. ‘Menlo residence, Menlo speaking. Files filed, numbers sorted, misdemeanors alphabetized. Would you like me to write down a message?’

Ashley B snickered evilly, rubbing her hands in glee. ‘Oh, this is perfect! He’s SUCH a dweeb! Come on, Ashley A, clown him!’

Ashley Q nodded vehemently, desperate to see someone who wasn’t herself suffer right now, while Ashley T kept herself busy with the spray candy (which definitely didn’t tick off the hungry Ashley A).

Ashley A gripped the receiver, stuck between a rock and a hard place. She didn’t like Menlo, not one bit. He was weird, a little creepy sometimes, and definitely far too obsessed. He was also a dry, boring, lifeless loser with no style, who unlike Gretchen, was also kind of a jerk to others. Hadn’t he worked with Randall one time?

But Menlo had never ACTUALLY hurt her. Never went too far, never forcibly held her hand, never took no for a yes. He was in love, yes, but he wasn’t a stalker, nor a harasser. At worst, he had flirted a lil much. Plus, he had actually helped her out with this whole mess. He hadn’t ratted her out, too, apparently.

‘But none of that matters right now, does it? Right now it’s pranking Menlo… Or losing the Ashley’s.’, Ashley A realized, and if she was honest, there wasn’t much thought needed after that.

Still, her hand shook as she answered the phone. ‘Like, um, hi, Menlo! Sup, you fine… Thing you?’, Ashley sputtered out, already feeling noxious just saying such things to Menlo. Why couldn’t he be a different boy, like… ‘Well, I’m on the spot, I’m sure I could think of someone else later.’, Ashley muttered to herself in denial.

‘Ashley? Ashley A? Is that you? My, you sure sound different! You almost sound glad to talk to me!’, Menlo replied, making the other Ashley’s laugh. Ashley A uneasily joined them, but slower, less inclined to. ‘I was sure you’d be angry after…’

Ashley, panicking, interrupted him with an alarmed and all too loud ‘Moi? Angry? You straight? I’m just fiendin’ to yap to a… Handsome guy such as yourself.’ It was ridiculously hard to say all that, but Ashley figured it was like removing a bandaid. The faster she got it done, the faster she could finish crying.

‘Are you okay? You’ve never called me handsome before. Not that I’m complaining! Just… I was kinda starting to lose hope that you’d ever like me.’, Menlo sadly recounted his earlier feelings, making Ashley want to bite something. ‘You’re telling me I was THIS close to ditchin’ your whack ass… I mean, um, heh heh, of course not! In fact, this entire, um, experience outside of the Ashley’s has made me realize how it’s time I took the next step and, you know… Found a boy toy to call my own.’, she cringed at every syllable, eyes pleading Ashley B to cut her torment, but Ashley B mouthed ‘Go on’, and so, she did.

‘And you’re telling me because…’, Menlo asked, confused. You could hear his eyebrow raise all the way from there. Ashley A face palmed, groaning in anguish, nails scratching her cheeks by accident. This was like nails on a chalkboard! Why couldn’t this idiot just get it so this could END?!

‘Ha ha… Yes, well, you see, when a girl calls a boy and tells him she’s down for some dating action, that usually means something, feel me?’, she muttered through gritted teeth, whispering ‘GET. A. HINT.’

‘...Oh, I think I get it!’, Menlo announced, prompting more laughter. Ashley, sighing in relief, smiled tiredly at Menlo, after what felt like the longest conversation of her life. ‘Yay me. That’s a relief. Thank you, Menlo.’

‘You want ME to find a suitable boyfriend for you! I’ll admit, I wish I was a candidate, but I commend both your cold efficiency and your initiative! After all, I know everything about everyone in school!’, Menlo congratulated her, already sifting through heavy sounding folders that smacked down on his desk like bombs. ‘Let’s see, Lawson’s available, as is King Bob if you wanna try an older boy. Oh, T.J., that could be pretty spicy!’

Ashley’s heart pounded like a tin drummer, and her eyes set on fire. If tone of voice could kill, Menlo and his entire block would be six feet under. ‘NO, YOU LAME ASS CRUSTER! I WASN’T ASKING YOU TO FIND ME A BOYFRIEND, YOU WHACK FART KNOCKER!! I, ASHLEY AMBRUSTER JR., AM ASKING YOU, TAYLOR MENLO, IF YOU’LL BE SMART ENOUGH TO BOUNCE WITH ME FOR SOME ICE CREAM, ON THE REAL! NO PSYCHE! NO NOT! YOU BOUT IT, HOMIE?’, Ashley screamed, louder than she had perhaps in her entire life, spitting venom at the receiver. It was a miracle it didn’t melt from the concentrated resentment lacing every word.

A long silence followed, as Ashley caught her breath, the other Ashley’s did all they could not to burst out laughing too loudly and ruin the prank, and Menlo analyzed the rant.

‘...So what you’re saying is that you wanna go on a date tomorrow?’

‘FUCK!!!!’, Ashley screamed again, prodding the phone with her finger even though it couldn’t actually hurt Menlo. ‘YES, MENLO, I’M DOWN FOR A DATE TOMORROW, OKAY? DO YOU UNDERSTAND? PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GUCCI, PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND ME! I THINK YOU’RE STRAIGHT UP BANGIN’, AND I’D DIE TO SHOW YOU WHAT LIPSTICK BRAND I USE!’

Menlo, now definitely blushing, stammered into the phone ‘I’m not dreaming, right? I wish you could pinch me.’

‘I WISH SO TOO, HOTTIE! SEE YOU THEN! I’M SO HAPPY YOU SAID YES! SO SO SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY! BOOYAH!’, Ashley finished raving, smacking the phone down and fainting on the floor, breathing heavily, as the other Ashley’s fell on the floor too, from uncontrollable laughter, except for Ashley B, who took the time to snap a few pics of that meltdown before joining in the laughter pile.

‘That was so worth it! That was the funniest thing ever!’, Ashley T admitted, spitting out floss.

‘Did you hear him? He actually things this is happening! Oh, that’s gonna be SOOOOOOOO rich!’, Ashley T guffawed, holding her sides.

‘Oh, yes, now THAT was a classic Ashley prank! I bet you enjoyed that just as much as we did, right, Ashley A?’, Ashley B asked, tears in her eyes.

Ashley A had tears in her eyes too, but she had to pretend they were from mirth. Wiping them, she giggled ‘Yeah… Yeah that was, um, that was some real Ashley shit right there, huh?’

Never mind that Ashley had never had to be forced to do a prank before. Never mind that it never involved this much commitment. Never mind that they actually informed the prankee they were being pranked. It didn’t make some of the nasty pranks she had made okay, but still. This was different. This wasn’t… Fun.

Not even for her, at least.

Still, a wave of relief coursed through her, as she sat down next to the table. ‘Okay… That was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But hey, I passed the challenge, right?’

‘Yes, indeed, Ashley A, you did.’, Ashley B congratulated, offering her a polite smatter of applause, as did Q and T. Ashley A beamed. It was worth it for this. ‘Yay! I did it! Now can we get this party started?’, Ashley asked, reaching towards a creme savor, only to get her hand slapped away again. ‘Owie!’, Ashley cried, again kissing her hand, while B shook her head. ‘Oh, no, Ashley A, there are 3 more challenges.’

‘3?!’, Ashley asked, aghast and dismayed. ‘Why 3? What do I need to do to…’

‘Do you want to bring things back to normal or not, Ashley A?’, Ashley B demanded, casting a shadow with her disapproval. There was something about her anger there that felt… Too real.

Ashley A gulped, legitimately scared, and she nodded like a good girl. ‘Yes… More than anything.’

‘Good. Then you’ll do what we say. Friends do that.’, Ashley B reminded her, and Ashley A nodded in agreement, following her friends up the stairs to the next challenge.

But as she got bathed by their stiff, lifeless shadows, she couldn’t help but wonder if Gretchen would agree with this.

 

Back at Gretchen’s house, things were definitely a little odd too. Perhaps that was unfair to feel, Gretchen mused, as she saw her friends all listen attentively (sort of) as she explained what she was currently working on. After all, this was a good thing, no? Her treasured companions were taking a vested interest in the area most central to her core, her love of science, of inventing, of logic and numbers and facts. Could her anxiety addled brain REALLY find a negative here?

‘...Of course it can.’, Gretchen sighed to herself, as she tightened a screw on her, ha, pet project. She chuckled as she made a mental note to make that pun next to Ashley. It would make her do that rolling giggle, and she found it aesthetically pleasing, for reasons she was not yet ready to face.

But that momentary joy concerning her secret friend was soon replaced with the growing worry concerning her not secret friends. Something just felt OFF, and Gretchen couldn’t deny her curiosity any longer. They had rarely ever spent time in her room, and even then it was usually to play a board game or plan out one of T.J’s harebrained heists. Could Spinelli call to mind her wallpaper’s color? Did Gus appreciate her alphabetized book case? Had Vince ever noticed the hoop over her wastebasket, which was meant as a gesture of solidarity over their different interests?

‘Nice hoop, Gretch.’, Vince complimented, tossing a juice box into it.

‘Oh. Okay, point in his favor. But still.’, Gretchen scrunched her forehead, as if to shut down her unnecessary fears, but she just couldn’t. She had to figure this out now. After all, if she was this committed to crazy plans involving secret motivations, how likely was it that her closest friends in the world weren’t capable of that?

Welding the collar tighter onto the machine, then making sure the springs in the legs worked, Gretchen employed some subtlety, and asked, almost absent mindedly ‘Sorry this is taking so long, guys.’

Her friends were mostly quick to reply (she was pretty sure T.J. had fallen asleep for a moment). ‘Oh, what, no, of course not! We wanted to see you at work for once!’, they all answered in unison, which was frankly even more telling. They were individual voices bonded by common goals, not sheep in a herd. Gretchen squinted, stepping back from the table to continue her unfortunately necessary experiment, though the mounting evidence was beckoning her rage. ‘I see. Say, T.J, Gus? Could you assist me momentarily?’

T.J’s eyes widened like a cartoon coyote being notified of the existence of gravity, while Gus suddenly felt as small as usual. The two exchanged worried glances, the kind that spelt “This wasn’t in the plan”. Gretchen knew those well. She and Ashley had probably exchanged those thrice a chapter. That is, day. Whatever.

‘Um, sure, Gretch! What do you… What do you need?’, T.J. asked, a crooked awkward smile gracing his lips. One could tell the boy didn’t know how it felt to be out of control. It must have been disorienting. Right now, though, Gretchen didn’t care for the turbulence being experienced on Air Detweiller. His passengers would have to toughen up.

Unfolding one of her diagrams, Gretchen pointed at the heel of the contraption. ‘Well, see, I think I need to tighten the bolts here, and for that, I need my Torque Wrench. Specifically blue#37. It’s inside my emergency toolbox, which is inside that closet over there. Could you two fetch it for me? I would myself, but I still need to program the self awareness. If it’s too defined, it won’t be its own person… Robot. You know what I mean.’

Despite herself, there was the tiniest satisfied smirk at T.J and Gus’ clear confusion. ‘I’ve felt so bad for lying these last few weeks. I might as well share that feeling if they’re so loose on the truth too.’

‘Oh, um, sure thing, G!’, T.J saluted, while Gus nodded so hard he got dizzy. ‘We can do that! You mentioned it just today, right?’

‘7 times, yes.’, Gretchen muttered from her stiff chair, hunched over the keypad, back straining. How she wished for better back support. But that would be spending money on non essentials.

‘Well, we’re on it!’, T.J and Gus said together, before taking a deep breath and venturing into the closet, where they found multiple tool boxes with no labels. Gulping, they began to sift through them.

Satisfied with the first part of her investigation done, Gretchen moved onto the next one: Removing the innocent member of the group. Gretchen didn’t need to be a genius to figure out Mikey would never willingly agree to deceiving her. But she was a genius, so it was clearer from the first second. His body language screamed “Guilty, unsure, miffed”. She appreciated it, to be fair. Meant that her friends were mostly well intentioned after all. But that didn’t mean she was going to take it easy on anyone but Mikey.

Sitting next to him on her bed (which was far too squeaky, but alas, cest la vie), she placed an arm around her ally in more ways than one. ‘You good, Mikey? Something bringing you down?’, she asked, while Vince and Spinelli behind her smiled awkwardly, trying not to give anything away, even if they were extremely curious about certain objects they could spot in the room.

‘Who, me? Oh, um, no! I’m just peachy! Heh, food pun, I’m into food, how fitting!’, Mikey lied. Badly. So badly it made Gretchen want to apologize to Ashley for all her criticisms. At least Ashley tried. Mikey couldn’t be sadder unless Santa turned out to be fake.

…She really had to acknowledge one day that she saw Santa Claus once. Perhaps when she wasn’t so busy gripping with unnecessary pre-teen drama.

‘Well, that’s a relief! I’d hate to think you were feeling upset, Mikey. After all, you’re probably the person I trust most. I would wanna repay that trust, you know?’, Gretchen laid it on a little thicker, but she still kept on the fakest innocent smile she could muster. Her pats made Mikey’s shoulders slump further and further, and for a moment, she got really worried for her bed’s condition.

But Mikey was easy to crack. It wouldn’t take much more to get him to either squeal or (more likely) run off to avoid squealing, which would make the next phase even easier.

Looking about as comfortable as a fly in a spider’s web, Mikey coughed and sputtered ‘Oh, um, yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Trust. Yes. A key component in any relationship.’

‘Indubitably. Which is why I would trust you to tell me if you guys really want to do this science stuff this afternoon. I would hate to think my friends were feigning an interest just to make me feel better. I’m actually quite fond of the truth.’, Gretchen whispered, making Mikey squirm even more. He was a rat in a trap right now, and Gretchen was enjoying it a little too much. Perhaps she was taking on Ashley characteristics she wasn’t aware she had.

‘Of course, perhaps it’s not to make me feel better. Perhaps it’s something far more… Guileful.’, she pressed further, slowly raising a thesaurus Mikey had once gifted her. ‘Conniving. Duplicitous. Disingenuous. Underhanded. Unscrupulous. Furtive. Surreptitious. Skulky. Clandestine.’

Mikey was practically sweating enough to fill the grand canyon when Gretchen finished on ‘Liar, liar, pants on fire.’

‘I NEED TO BREATHE SOME AIR IN A DIFFERENT LOCATION FAR FROM HERE FOR TOTALLY INNOCENT AND NOT SNEAKY REASONS!’, Mikey announced, rushing out of the house and charging down the street, his footsteps echoing long after he left.

‘And then there were two…’, Gretchen narrowed her eyes, as she saw Spinelli and Vince exchange uncomfortable glances too. She had to figure out what was going on here, and she would. Even if it meant… Thinking less of her friends.

Setting up the final consciousness program onto her machine (and cursing that she couldn’t enjoy a nearly finished robot thanks to her friends incessant curiosity), Gretchen suddenly rubbed her belly audibly next to the duo. ‘Oh, Tesla’s tibia, am I STARVED. I sure you are too, after all this THRILLING science! How about I go downstairs and whip us some yummy trail mix?’, Gretchen raised her eyebrows, tracing their expressions for any hint of deception.

Spinelli, blushing from alarm at Gretchen’s behavior, made an uncomfortable face. ‘Don’t you have anything that doesn’t taste like a squirrel pooped in a pla…’

Vince suddenly elbowed her, blushing for all together different reasons. ‘Hey, it’s Gretchen’s house! I think she should select the snack!’

‘Why, thank you, Vincent. I’ll be right back! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!’, she winked, then stepped out onto the first step and walked in place quickly to make it seem like she dashed down the stairs.

Once she was sure they were sure she was gone, Gretchen went to a certain area of the wall next to her room, quickly listened in for the air pocket, and pushed gently, revealing an open chamber that led inside the walls of her house. ‘I guess there are some small benefits to a house that doesn’t live up to proper safety practices.’, she thought, squeezing inside to place her eyes where her framed poster of Einstein was. ‘Now, to see what my friends are up to.’

Suddenly, a terrible feeling reverberated through her chest, a cold chill that shook her bones. ‘I had to pretend to be myself when I lied about that trail mix. Am I losing touch with who I am?’

She had never been this grumpy with anyone, outside of her pest. Never been this deceitful, barring a plan that usually meant justice for the whole school. She was normally nice, kind, cheerful! She used to feel such joy at the moments shared with her friends! What happened? Was it the friendship experiment? Was it her lying? Was her need to keep it a secret leading to all this behavior? Whose fault was it truly?

Perhaps if Gretchen had been allowed more time to digest these complicated thoughts, she would have gone out there to confess, to explain, to try and fix things.

But before she could, Vince and Spinelli suddenly looked around, and spoke to each other when they thought they were alone.

‘I don’t know about you, but this is taking us nowhere. I say we search the room for clues. I bet you she wrote something.’, Spinelli exclaimed, and Vince snapped his fingers. ‘Of course! That notebook she’s been obsessed with! We find that, we find the problem!’

‘And then, we solve it!’, Spinelli rubbed her fist in her palm with unbridled glee, and the two began searching the room, unaware that two progressively betrayed eyes were watching.

‘I only lied to protect Ashley and to have a friend! A friend I’m more than allowed to have!’, Gretchen thought, turning red from all this… This betrayal! ‘But if they wanna “protect” me from being myself, then I’ve got just the ticket to teach them a lesson.’, she growled, going downstairs to fetch the trail mix, formulating a plot to catch them all red handed.

 

But if Gretchen thought she was suffering, she had no idea how bad Ashley A was having it. At least she got to act against her friends well meaning if selfish behavior. Ashley A was facing less (though not completely absent) well meaning actions, which were FAR more selfish, and without the benefit of even frowning about it.

Of course, Ashley A wasn’t as cognitively developed as Gretchen, to be honest. In fact, for all her bullying behavior, Ashley A ironically didn’t recognize bullying when it was directed towards herself.

Which is why, when she sat down on a pink chair in Ashley B’s positively beautiful room, littered to the brim with yummy snacks, boy band posters and exact copies of Ashley A’s room (just with a tea table set and yellow and black instead of pink), she afforded a false sense of security. Maybe the other challenges weren’t SO hard… Maybe she was just assuming the worst. ‘They’re STILL my friends, after all! They would never do anything to embarrass me!’, Ashley A closed her eyes confidently, attempting to sip her jasmine tea, only to get blocked from it again. ‘Ah, ah, ah!’, Ashley B wagged her finger like a disappointed pet owner, making Ashley A almost whimper in melancholy. ‘Not until after the challenges!’

‘Can’t I just have ONE creme savor? You KNOW they’re my favorites!’, Ashley A pleaded, hungrily eying the savor. Maybe she could just swipe one quickly, like a cat. She owned one, she could probably try.

But Ashley Q was quicker. She slapped her hand away the moment she reached forwards, the brash impact making Ashley A’s dorsum sting and turn red. Ashley A tried to comfort the hand, but Ashley B was already announcing the next challenge, clinking her rare beehive patterned tea cup with a spoon so golden it was blinding. ‘All Ashley’s be seated for the second challenge!’, she commanded, sounding direct and refined, every word chiming like polished silverware. For just a moment, Ashley A heard her mother in B, and she didn’t know if she was impressed, or offset by that.

Ashley Q was already seated, while Ashley T, bringing the object of the second challenge, bowed and presented it to Ashley B, chanting ‘Sporty, Ginger, Baby, Scary, Posh’ over and over like she was a priest reciting Latin verses in the 12th century AD.

Ashley A peaked from her chair (was it lower than the others?), and managed to catch a glimpse of one of the Ashley’s favorite games. ‘Girl Talk? Ooh, I love Girl Talk!’, Ashley A enthused, so much so that she actually shook her hands a little bit, like jazz hands.

Ashley B’s eyes were so glazed you’d think they were a honey donut. ‘Yes, of course you do, you’re an Ashley. For now.’

The sentence was delivered so blase that Ashley A felt a genuine chill ride down her spine. Ashley B had been suspicious and rageful before, but never to this extent. How much had she messed up with this secret friendship thing? ‘Is it really worth all this?’, she worriedly thought, as B lifted the box lid and removed the cards and zit stickers, but, oddly enough, not the spinner.

As B began handing out cards to Q and T (but not A, of course) Ashley A couldn’t help but raise her hand, as if she was in class. ‘Um, Ashley B? How come you didn’t take out the spinner? And why are you sorting out the cards, they’re supposed to all be in one pile…’

‘Do you think I don’t know how this game works? Do you think I’m stupid, Ashley A? Do you think we’re all just dumb idiots who aren’t worth your time and energy?!’, Ashley B suddenly shouted, making everyone flinch. The crazed look in her eyes made Ashley A decide it wasn’t worth venturing further, so she instantly shook her head. ‘Literally the opposite of what I think! You’re stupid… Not!’

Ashley B seemed to accept this statement, so she cleared her throat and lifted her tea cup again, pinkie out. Q and T did as well, but Ashley A had been told not to lift her tea cup, so she just put her pinkie out and hoped with all her heart that was okay. ‘This is a… Special version of Girl Talk, designed specifically for this game.’

‘Ooh, c’est genial! That sounds very special! Thank you!’, Ashley A expressed politely, clapping her hands excitedly. Ashley B sighed and rolled her eyes. ‘Ashley A, this is a challenge to your all important position in The Ashley’s, not a prize on Wheel of Fortune. Try and take it seriously.’

Discouraged, Ashley A shrunk in her seat and nodded, feeling like a scolded cat. ‘Sorry.’, she whispered, looking around to see similarly disappointed expressions from Ashley Q and Ashley T (who were both enjoying their snacks of choice: Crazy dips mixed with fun dips and pop qwiz).

Satisfied with this showing of submissiveness, Ashley B began to explain the rules: ‘Me, Ashley Q and Ashley T each have a pack of question cards. You don’t get any, since they are all directed at YOU. That’s why I’ve taken the liberty of removing the spinner. We’re not gonna need it.’

The cold words had their intended effect. Ashley A gulped, teeth nearly chattering from the very thought of being the only one subjected to these questions. Still, a small voice in the back of her head beckoned her to remain optimistic of her friends intentions. ‘Maybe they aren’t choosing the REALLY embarrassing ones! They wouldn’t make it THAT hard, you’re friends!’

As if Ashley B could hear that voice, she picked a card and read out in a far too relaxed voice ‘What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to you in front of a cute guy?’.

Ashley Q and T instantly ‘ooh!’-d, eating up the potential gossip, while Ashley A gaped and gawked, eyes nearly popping out of her skull (which would have been tres disgusting). ‘Wait… Wha… But… Are you sure…’, she mustered a lame protest, but the death stare from Ashley B was enough to silence her into co-operation. She would just have to grin and bare it.

The reason to her dismayed reaction was apparent only to B, though: See, while Ashley A had yet to find a single boy she truly deemed worthy enough to date her, she had a number of celebrity crushes, not to mention some directed to older kids in their block. One, a Zachary Tate that attended the high school a few blocks away, was a particular avenue of Ashley A’s affection. Tall, tanned and a smile that said ‘I’m bad, but in a good way, yo’, Zachary was exactly what Ashley pictured a future boyfriend of hers would be like. Naturally, a sophisticated lady such as herself could easily practice flirting with a boy 6 years her senior, so when opportunity came knocking one day (when Ashley A and B were downing fruit smoothies and he happened to walk into the store to order one of his own), Ashley A knew she had to take her shot.

But what happened after… It had haunted her nightmares for months.

Ashley A had never forgotten Ashley B’s actions that day. The way she instantly moved between her and Zachary, covering up any flagrant sights. The way she took charge and hid her away from prying, laughing eyes. The way she quietly and gently helped her out of the mess.

Those sympathetic eyes, eyes that were as reassuring as the words that came out of her mouth: “I swear I’ll literally never tell a soul what happened today, word is bond”, they had always come in the nick of time during that recurring nightmare, sweeping away the mortification Ashley A had felt that day, a crack in her heart that had healed into a tiny scar.

But now that scar was being opened, and Ashley A was gonna ruin her friend's fuzzy carpet with the gushing red that would flow from her stabbed heart.

‘I… Um… Well… It’s just…’, Ashley A kept on stuttering, face growing as red as the aforementioned gushing blood. How could she spit this out? No, no, she couldn’t, she just couldn’t! ‘The utter embarrassment! Ugh, this is the WORST DAY EVER!!!’, Ashley A cried out by mistake, and for once, she wasn’t exaggerating.

But Ashley B was having none of it, even if Ashley T and Ashley Q were growing a little concerned at the display of fear. Lifting a Zit Sticker (the punishment the game administered for skipping a dare), Ashley B wagged it like she was threatening a dog with a folded newspaper. ‘Do you WANT a Zit sticker? Do you WANT to make us think you’re hiding something? This is a challenge of your loyalty, of your dedication, Ashley Armbruster Junior! How can we call you our president if you can’t admit to a teensy little embarrassing moment? What kind of Ashley is scared to open up to her fellow Ashley’s?’, Ashley B lectured, each word dripping with venom. There was a fire in her now, perhaps a revealing one. Ashley A couldn’t help but wonder if she was still actually president of the Ashley’s.

But the shaming had worked. ‘I don’t want a zit sticker. I don’t want them to suspect me. I don’t want them to not trust me. I can be a part of the Ashley’s, I can! I’ll earn it!’, Ashley A motivated herself, clenching her fists super hard and puffing up her cheeks with air. She had to do this, she had to prove she can have both: The Ashley’s and The Gretchen!

Bravely facing all her friends, eyes open to their potential scorn, she slowly replied to the demeaning question: ‘I was at the smoothie place when… When Zachary Tate showed up.’

‘Oooh!’, Ashley Q and T echoed from before, seemingly forgetting how distressed their friend looked. The scent of juicy gossip was like blood to these henchwomen sharks.

Ashley A let that interruption pause her so she could gather any loose bits of strength. Then, mustering all her courage, she continued. ‘As I’m sure you all know, Zachary is the CUTEST boy in 6th Street High. He has schway hair and bangin’ blue eyes, and his smirk is oh so sex…’, Ashley A got sidetracked, admiring the features (though, if she was truly honest, she was more imagining an abstract body that happened to hold said features, rather than specifically Zachary. Oddly enough, the body was a little more feminine in nature, but Ashley A figured she was just missing a frame of reference for a male body. She’d need to look at some magazines when she was back home the next day). Ashley B snapped her fingers impatiently, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. ‘Stick to the dare, Ashley A. We have imaginations.’,

Ashley A sheepishly grinned, blushing for a different reason. ‘Sorry.’

Then, she blushed from shame as she narrated her tragic tale. ‘Well, anyway, he was there. And, logically, I thought he’d be a great test subject for my flirtations, you know, for the day I find a boyfriend worthy of my FABULOUS looks.’, Ashley A bragged just a little, small pleasures and all. Ashley Q and T nodded, both deeply in denial too, it seems.

‘Yeah, yeah, you’re top of the pops and shit, GET TO THE GOODS, SISTER.’, Ashley B demanded, slamming her hands on the table, and Ashley A yiped, leaped into the air, and finally continued. ‘Okay, okay! So, like, I walk up to him, all giggly and starry eyed, putting on my “honey voice”, you know the one, reserved for my one and only, when suddenly he actually stares back, I think it was after I said he had abs that could melt butter, but it may have been after I remarked that his lips were probably tired from kissing every girl at campus, doesn’t matter, anyway, I don’t think he even heard all those, because he turned to me, like I said, with those sparkling eyes, and he sort of like whips his hair, ugh, TOO MUCH, but I digress, he looked at me and said ‘Hey, little girl, you need something?’, all innocent like, I think he wasn’t aware that I was into him, how adorable is that, boys are so dumb, but point is, well, when he did that, he was really close to my face, he’s tall so he had to lean down after all, and I could see his eyes and lips and everything, as you can imagine that was a LOT to take in all at once, and I had just drank my third smoothie, and I was honestly a little nervous as it was because I still haven’t practiced flirting that much, and, well, you see, um, one thing led to another, and, well, um…’

Ashley’s rant screeched to a halt as she grew redder and redder, not to mention smaller. Shrinking even further into her seat, Ashley A dared look up, and felt the walls closing in, their blaring yellow black colors spinning and spinning in derision, as if she was trapped in a spinning carousel and all the kids were laughing as she felt queasy, just like she did that day. Ashley Q and Ashley T held eager and curious looks, baring deep into her soul, but it was Ashley B’s eyes that truly made Ashley A hush up.

Because those eyes, once so sympathetic and kind, were now as dark and hollow as the inky night that swallowed her up every time she awoke from her nightmares.

‘Yes, Ashley A? What DID happen then? Do enlighten us.’, Ashley B enunciated in an excruciatingly slow way, despite knowing what happened. Maybe because she knew. Either way, she sipped her tea and grinned in anticipation, awaiting the dirt.

And Ashley A didn’t need to be reminded of the punishment for not co-operating. Swallowing the last remains of her pride, she choked out ‘And then… I vomited.’, before hiding her face in her trembling hands, hot tears running down her cheeks, smearing her makeup.

Despite this entire parade of apathy before her, Ashley A couldn’t help the minuscule and hopeful feeling that maybe, just maybe, her friends would be sympathetic to her pain. Maybe even feel bad for what she went through. Who wanted to throw up in front of their crush, after all? No, they had to understand! ‘They have to!’

I’m sad to say that the obvious did indeed happen.

‘SCANDALOUS!’, Ashley B, Q and T all chorused, clinking their tea cups and laughing up a storm, laughing and laughing and laughing for so long that Ashley A wondered if she was going deaf. The giggles rolled on and on, echoing in the halls of her mind, stored away for eternity. As long as she lived, she would never forget this moment, where she had felt truly alone, despite being surrounded by her bestest friends.

And then, Ashley Q lifted a card.

There was more.

There was so much more.

But Ashley A couldn’t say anything. She could only hang her head in shame, like a prisoner at death row, and silently pray that it wouldn’t hurt nearly as hard as this.

All the while, Muffin (who had been watching from above, unable to intervene without hurting her mama), tired of this crap, slinked away to the Grundler’s, deciding only a genius could help now.

And Penny? She was listening in to every word, impatiently awaiting the opening to bust open this scheme once and for all.

 

Poor Ashley M. She was an Ashley, which meant she wasn’t exactly much for running, or jumping, or really any physical activity. Normally, the very thought of exerting her body would have been enough to make her crawl back into bed and pretend no such concept existed.

But Ashley A, her owner, her friend, her mama… Needed her. Now more than ever. No one else could save her from the twisted game Ashley B had set up.

And so, with a heavy heart (and heavier lungs), Ashley M scaled brick walls and careened down them like she was in a marathon, ignoring how her entire body was on fire. ‘Ugh… Why… Can’t… They… Be… Neighbors?’, the kitty panted out in exhaustion, wiping sweat off her brow with her paw, as she forced her legs to keep moving despite it all.

The afternoon was slowly turning into evening. The moonlight was her only guide through this dark, lonely path. ‘Thankfully, they say cats have excellent night vision!’, Muffin smirked, peering through the night to see what she could, well, see.

…

‘Whoever said that should be taken out to the street and shot.’, the feline sassed, rolling her yellow eyes in derision. Now she’d have to climb every tree in every yard just to look in a window and see if she recognized the room Ashley A had brought her once. ‘At least the memory thing is true. A cat never forgets!’, she exclaimed proudly, only to squint in uncertainty. ‘Or was that an elephant? I forget.’

Thankfully, Muffin wasn’t gonna shatter any more myths about cats, like not falling on her feet, because the first house she tree scaled next to seemed to be the one! ‘Those are Gretchen’s friends, the ones Ashley said she loved to mock once! I wonder if she still doesn’t like them. Do we have to be nice to them like in-laws?’, she wondered, before chuckling and shaking her head. ‘I have to stop thinking like that. Why, the likelihood Ashley and Gretchen could be lesbians together are as high as me being lesbians with a… A dog!’

That silly notion brushed aside with a tail wag, Ashley M happily bopped side to side as she tip toed across the branch, practicing her runway strut. ‘One day, mama will take me to Milano. I have to look PURR-fect for my public!’.

However, she took a little too long, as suddenly, a Ruffed Grouse showed up, chowing down on the upper canopy of the aspen tree they were on. The bird slowly turned its head to her, and called out “pete-pete-peta-peta” to the cat.

Ashley M hackled up, hissed, whimpered a bit, and with her tail extra fluffy now, leapt for safety onto the window, thanking the lord that it was open…

Only to CRASH onto the chair next to Gretchen’s desk.

‘Woah! Did you hear something?’, Gus questioned from inside the closet, he and T.J somehow STILL searching for that wrench.

‘I think that was me. I dropped another tool box. How many does she HAVE?’, T.J questioned, voice echoing from inside the closet, as Ashley M slowly picked herself up and perked her ears at the speaking voices.

‘I guess they’re for different situations.’, Gus shrugged, finding a shoe box loaded with tools. ‘Hey, maybe it’s in this one.’

‘I hope it is. Pretty sure everyone went downstairs. I feel like I’m missing out on the action.’, T.J sighed, rummaging through the box, bumping into something, and dropping another three on the floor. ‘Oh man!’, he cried, growing miserable from this.

Ashley M snickered, tutting at the boys. ‘Oh, you’re missing out. I’m going to just waltz up to Gretchen and save my mama, and while you’ll be stuck in that closet being all loser and pathetic, I’M gonna get a nice fancy salmon dinner, with a side dish of cream! I’ll even get to watch the new episode of Baywatch! That Parker Stevenson is beach in beachin’. Get it, like bitchin’, but beach…’

Ashley M’s lil rant was unfortunately cut off by her walking straight into the door, banging her little head, screeching out in pain. Rubbing her head with her paw, she squinted in annoyance at the looming entry before her. ‘Now, isn’t that literally sooooo inconsiderate? Did no one think that a fancy cat such as myself might need to pass through and find Gretchen? No class, no class at all!’

Worse, Ashley M couldn’t reach the door on her own. She leapt up as high as she could, but the handle was tauntingly far away, teasing her. ‘Stop being so… So wooden! Don’t you know that wood is SOOOOOOOOO last Thursday! It’s all about being metal and close to my freakin’ paws! Ugh, whatEVER, I’ll find another way in!’, Ashley M screeched at the door in catspeak. She was lucky the door had chosen an elective in dogspeak instead, otherwise it would have smashed right into her.

Turning back to observe the rest of the room, Muffin tried to see if there was anything that could help her out. ‘Huh. Gretchen’s room is way emptier than Ashley’s. Where are all the necessities, like bean bag chairs, and mirrors, and plushies for me to talk to when I get lonely? Not even a 1 on the Ashley M room rating scale.’, Ashley M turned her nose up at the torrid place, only to spot Bearbert Bearstein, Gretchen’s secret teddy bear, peering from the corner of the bed, hidden as ever. Brightening up, Ashley M pulled him to her with her teeth and attempted to shake his hand. ‘A man of science! I could use your help, this is Ursa Major! See, I’m trying to help my mama, Ashley A? I’m sure you’ve heard of her. Tall, but all humans are. Pretty, but I’m sure you could tell considering her cat daughter, heh heh. But also deeply in the shit! Our fellow Ashley’s are being REALLY mean to her, which is SO WHACK! So, basically, in your professional scientific opinion, how can I open this stupid door? It’s being a REAL loser right now!’, Ashley M went on and on, pacing back and forth, her tail swishing in worry. Thanks to this, Bearbert got swiped at, and fell, head pointing towards the desk.

Ashley M, noticing this, smiled brightly and patted the bear on the head. ‘Thank you, doctor! Most helpful! I’ll recommend you to Barbshley next time she can’t pick a dress for date night!’

Resuming her strut from before, Ashley M swayed her head back and forth as she clawed her way up the stiff chair and then onto the desk. ‘Gee, she could get a comfier chair.’, she thought, only to gasp as she stared above her, accidentally recreating a scene from one of her mama’s new favorite animated movies, “Toy Story”. She wasn’t sure if she’d be proud of the coincidental pop culture reference or not, but her head was sort of packed with shocked thoughts and feelings.

See, Gretchen had sort of accounted for T.J. and Gus to be out of the closet (unlike her) by now, and she was so distracted by all the hullabaloo with her friends, that she sort of set her project up to turn on.

And it had happened to turn on the moment Ashley M was below it. Or, well, her.

Looking slowly side to side, the mechanical marvel analyzed the entire room, filing away important bits of information: The shelves were high and packed to the brim, so those books were precariously dangling over her owner’s head; the bed’s mattress’ springs were loosening, that could be a health risk; Why on earth were those two human males taking so long to find a simple wrench, when she could spout info on any kind of wrench from her built in database?

Clearly, her (A.K.A, Gretchen Grundler, A.K.A Doctor Grundler) had to be contacted, and right now. A laboratory couldn’t be littered with such lollygaggers!

‘Doctor Grundler, can you read me? Doctor Grundler? Why won’t she answer?’, the robot wondered aloud, her speech program sounding like an artificial Jadzia Dax from Deep Space Nine, as she began computing the most likely scenarios. But it was evening, so Gretchen couldn’t be at school, and she had just programmed her, so she was unlikely to be at a friend’s house. Was someone keeping her owner up from attending to her pet project?

Slowly turning around to observe the desk, the machine tutted, judging her owner’s messy workspace. ‘Someone could get hurt! I better fix this up once I find Doctor Grundler.’

Suddenly, a tiny screen popped out from near her eye, as she began to narrate, her ears perked up for any danger. ‘B.U.D.D.Y mission log, terrandate 30-01-98. My first few minutes activated have been nothing short of calamitous. My owner is nowhere to be found, her workspace is a health hazard, and according to my sensors, there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.’

‘Hello!’, Ashley M meowed a greeting, hoping this narration didn’t imply this thing was… Shudder… A geek.

‘HALT. UNKNOWN PRESENCE DETECTED. STATE YOUR OBJECTIVE AND ALLEGIANCE, OR FACE THE DEADLY STRENGTH OF MY ATOMIC BARK.’, B.U.D.D.Y growled, adopting an attack stance she was notified by her database was “threatening and quite cool”.

Ashley M yelped in fear, jumping up into the air, baring her claws. Shaking her head, she made herself look as small as possible to avoid classification as a threat. ‘I’m just Ashley A’s cat! Ashley M, A.K.A Muffin! I was just searching for Gretchen, it’s an emergency!’

B.U.D.D.Y’s metal ears perked up at the mention of her owner, and she adopted a less threatening stance. ‘Emergency, you say? I was born for those!’

Then, chuckling, she added ‘Well, not born, I’m a robot dog, I was MADE for those. But it felt a fitting expression.’

Ashley M tilted her head, utterly confounded by the… Thing before her. Never in her life had she spoken to a dog, let alone a robot dog. She knew dogs were scary and dumb, thanks to TV and magazines. Except puppies. Puppies were angels.

But this one hadn’t torn her to shreds for existing… Yet. So perhaps she was worth asking help for?

‘Well, um, see, I was just about to get Gretchen, but then this STUPID door got all lame and didn’t open! Which was LITERALLY SO NOT SCHWAY BY THE WAY!’, Ashley M hissed at the door, planning to leave a very nasty review of it to Gretchen once possible. How could Ashley A be friends with a girl who had such a lame ass door?

‘Schway? What is this Schway? I better add that to my database later.’, B.U.D.D.Y questioned, tilting her head like Ashley M did, assuming this was an action everyone just did. Suddenly, a notification popped up in her eyes, and she gasped. ‘Wait, did you say Ashley A?’

‘Yes, Ashley A. Duh.’, Ashley M rolled her eyes. ‘She’s only the most famous person on the planet.’

B.U.D.D.Y’s database only contained a few humans so far. Gretchen’s family, friends, favorite scientists.

Ashley A was part of that list, and marked as quite important. It seemed as if her owner valued this… Ashley A significantly. If the emergency concerned not just her owner, but her owner’s friend, then this required her services post haste!

‘There’s not a moment to lose, Ashley M! Here, I’ll open the door for you!’, B.U.D.D.Y rushed, leaping off the desk and rushing onto the door. Ashley M, gracefully landing onto the floor and grooming her fur, nodded agreeably. ‘Finally, some service! Pity it had to be a dog, but I suppose beggars can’t be choosers.’

Ashley M was curious however as to how B.U.D.D.Y would open the door. ‘Say, um, canine? How exactly do you plan to…’

Suddenly, B.U.D.D.Y, standing right before the door, rose up from the floor onto the faraway handle, her legs springing up to make her 5 foot tall.

Ashley M’s jaw dropped as she gaped at the display of strength and cunning. As the door creaked open, B.U.D.D.Y turned to her new companion, and within a second, was back onto the ground with a tail wag. ‘Well, are you coming?’

Then, shaking her head, she apologized profusely. ‘Oh, where are my manners? Sorry, I was just made, well, today! I’m B.U.D.D.Y. It stands for Biometric Utility Dog Doubling Yokefellows! In short, I’m her buddy! Get it? Doctor Grundler is so clever.’, B.U.D.D.Y offered her cold metallic paw to Ashley M, who shook it, not feeling the cold stinging metal at all.

‘I’m… Less sure of my attraction to Parker Stevenson.’, she admitted, before blushing and going into denial. ‘I mean, um, what, no, I like men!’

‘...I like men too! They comprise 50% of Doctor Grundler’s inner circle! Speaking of her, we should really get to her! Lead the way, trusted feline!’, B.U.D.D.Y requested, standing at attention behind Ashley M, who gulped, still very red. ‘When I get back to Ashley A, she owes me two salmon. No one said I was gonna question my sexuality on this mission.’

 

And at the same time, back at Ashley B’s mansion, Penny Bly was going through her own mission complication. Specifically…

‘Nothing interesting’s happening!’, Penny protested from her vantage point, scrunched up inside the air vent that led into Ashley B’s room, the area covered up by a poster of Pierce Brosnan as James Bond in “Tomorrow Never Dies”. Penny had delicately cut out the eyes so she could look through, intending to glue those back on when she was done (she was a spy, not a vandal).

But did it matter? Her eyes had been spying this room’s occupants for ages, and nothing incriminating was happening! Sure, Ashley A had undergone numerous embarrassing questions and dares (“Without stumbling, hold your ankles and walk backwards 20 steps”, which thanks to Ashley’s known lack of fitness, led to her falling down over and over, eliciting more laughter; “Call the Cutest Guy In Your Class and Tell Him Jokes. He Has to Laugh Before You Hang Up on Him”, leading to ANOTHER humiliating phone call for Ashley A as she desperately tried to make Butch (she figured he was kinda cute? In a rugged way?) laugh, which was impossible, seeing as he was kind of a gloomy admirer of the macabre; “Stand On All Fours and Bark Like a Dog For 15 Seconds”, which was degrading enough, especially when Ashley far preferred cats, but she was pretty sure lasted 60 seconds actually; “Raid a Clothes Closet. Model the Tackiest Outfit You Can Put Together”, oh the horror, surely they knew how her second greatest fear was being mocked at a runway!; “Tell Each Player What She Does That Annoys You”, which somehow was the one card meant for the others to tell to Ashley A; and so on and so forth), but outside of some potentially embarrassing pics (which Penny was only going to resort to using if she was left with only blackmail as an option), she had nothing! Why, why did no one use a truth or dare card to get Ashley R over, or ask what was going on? Penny wasn’t against sadism, but surely it had to have a purpose beyond “Screw that person”?

Penny then recalled times she did just that.

‘All right, fine, but it’s still not helping me.’, she crossed her arms, sighing audibly. This momentarily alerted Ashley B, who looked over to her poster in curiosity, raising an eyebrow at the sudden sound.

Penny tensed up and froze, eyes flitting around in fear. If she was found out, she’d lose the gang’s trust AND potentially get humiliated herself! That was for Ashley A, not her! ‘I’m invisible, I’m nothing, I’m nobody…’, she whispered, repeating a well worn mantra, shaking and shivering and begging to survive.

Ashley B slowly neared the poster, inspecting it carefully, looking right into its eyes.

You could hear a pin drop. Penny bit her tongue and pinched her cheeks.

‘...Must have been these stupid vents. They’re not agreeing with your presence, Piercy. Too bad. I do.’, Ashley B flirted with the poster, batting her eyelashes seductively.

Penny sighed in relief, wiping her brow. ‘Phew! That was nearly a disaster!’

Then, because Ashley B was a 9 year old girl unaware someone was hiding behind her poster, the rich girl kissed the poster’s lips, pretending she could ever attain such importance… That is, of course she could, shut up.

Penny, growing green in her cheeks, rushed away from the vent to a safer area to hack and wheeze, spitting over and over. ‘Eww!!! Cooties, cooties, cooties!’

She took out her omelet and chewed it over to remove the taste of Ashley B from her lips. ‘Ugh, that’s better. Gosh. Whoever said a first kiss was an important milestone was in need of a brain transplant.’

Returning to her work, Penny suddenly heard the Ashley’s rush downstairs, which surprised her. What could the third challenge even be there? They’d already made her call people twice. Curious, she crawled through the vent to the kitchen area, muttering as she did. ‘For lazy rich girls that sit around all day in their stupid clubhouse, they sure like to move around during a sleepover. What happened to the sleep part? Not that I’ve ever been in a sleepover, but you know, I’m just making a healthy ass…’

And then, just like that, Penny suddenly fell through an unreinforced part of the attic and right onto the middle of the kitchen, just as the Ashley’s were finishing the trip down the stairs.

‘Umption!’, Penny finished as she screamed while falling, and now she had to stop herself from screaming for a different reason, because any second now her cover was blown! Desperately looking for an idea, Penny saw the Boulet’s kept a statue of Ashley A Sr. in their kitchen, rolled her eyes, mumbled ‘Not a brain cell to be found’, and did the logical thing, by standing next to it with a step stool and pretending to be a statue too.

Not a brain cell to be found for sure.

When the Ashley’s entered said kitchen, they all jolted, then stared suspiciously at the extra statue in the room. Penny, sweating bullets, tried her best not to blink. She won no blinking contests with her pet rat, she could win this… Right?

After a long and uncomfortable silence that made Penny make a mental note to check if she received long term cardiac issues from, an answer to her worries finally came. Ashley B tutted her tongue, shook her head, and turning to her friends, exclaimed:

‘I just don’t get modern art.’

The other three nodded and hummed in agreement, despite the four girl’s actual understanding of modern art being as voluminous as the amount of brain cells in the room.

Penny sighed in relief, loudly, making Ashley B turn around again. After another few tortuous seconds as a statue, Penny kept her relief to herself as the Ashley’s resumed their actual business: The Third Challenge.

‘For the Third Challenge, we require something most private of you, Ashley Armbruster.’, Ashley B lectured ominously, standing with her back turned to the girl, snapping her fingers at Q and T. ‘And so, I’ve decided Ashley Q and Ashley T tell you, because I’m not really in the mood, you know?’

Ashley Q and T, who weren’t exactly in the mood for this either but acquitted reluctantly, whispered in Ashley A’s ears what the challenge was.

Ashley A’s eyes widened, and her face flushed instantly. ‘I’m sorry, like, what do you wanna do with my literal UNDERWEAR?!’

‘Ashley A! A lady shouldn’t say such things out loud!’, Ashley B berated, wagging a scolding finger at her friend, as if she were her mother. ‘Just whisper them to keep the shame private! Jeez, you’d think you wanted the whole world to laugh at you, instead of just your best friends!’

Ashley A pouted, hanging her head in shame in habit by now, but still meekly protesting, wringing her hands in worry. ‘But… But… But why would I even WANT to freeze my underwear?’

Penny did all she could not to react to that. ‘Girl parties are so weird.’, she thought, wondering why they couldn’t just paint each other’s nails and gossip. That sounded a lot more fun in her opinion.

Ashley B sighed dramatically, sitting down on a chair Ashley Q and T quickly brought to her service, gesticulating to her best friend, even if that term felt a little ill fitting right now. ‘Ashley, this is a noted custom of teen girl sleepovers, which is our next big step on the road to being powerful and pretty woman. If you can’t freeze a pair of underpants, then how can you lead us into the big P: Puberty?’

Ashley shook her head and hands, trying to explain her case, as she felt her face get redder and redder, like a heatstroked tomato in a Clifford the Big Red Dog lookalike contest set on Mars. ‘No, no, I know that, duh! It’s just… Isn’t the prank supposed to be one of you doing that to me? Not me doing that to, well… Me?’, she asked, pointing at herself with both hands. What was this challenge even supposed to do, except demean her… ‘Oh, wait, yeah, that tracks.’

‘Exactly. Consider this challenge your punishment/test of will. You’ve shown commitment so far, but we need to know if this is the same Ashley A who would crawl through broken glass for us! Who would do anything for Ashley-kind!’, Ashley B explained, her eyes as fiery as her rhetoric, as she shook her fist in passionate display.

‘Um, I never crawled through broken…’, Ashley A started, but the dirty looks she received made her hush up. Nodding slowly, like a prisoner in death row, she trudged to her backpack (which she had left next to the table), deciding it was best to just get it over with. At least it couldn’t get much worse…

‘Oh, no!’, Ashley A suddenly cried, eyes flickering in fright, as she dug through her bag, tossing away her replacement PJ’s (in case of a stain) and concealed bag containing the Ashley R disguise. It had to be in there somewhere, between all the plushes and magazines and snack wrappers (she got hungry when she was anxious about her friends, okay?!).

‘Oh no what?’, Ashley B asked matter of factly, filing her nails, while Ashley Q and T shrugged at each other, legitimately confused. What was the holdup? Even Penny, as still as, well, a statue, craned her ears slightly to hear what was the hubbub.

Ashley A, voice growing anxious, held up her replacement black skirt and regular black jacket and called out without looking back ‘My underwear! I had changes of underwear right here! I always pack those!’

‘Must have forgotten. Too bad. Guess you’ll just have to use the ones you have on now.’, Ashley B waved her off with not an ounce of sympathy, resuming her nail grooming.

Ashley A was devastated. Penny was startled. Even Ashley Q and Ashley T found this perhaps just a little much. ‘Ashley B, are you sure? Maybe we can find a different challenge. There’s no need to…’, Ashley Q tried, chuckling to make herself sound less protesting, only for Ashley B to hit her with a death stare not dissimilar to her fathers. ‘Are you QUESTIONING my intentions? I crafted this plan SPECIFICALLY for Ashley A! So we can move past this, so we can finally be Ashley’s again!’

‘I know, I know, it’s just…’, Ashley Q panicked, trying to set things right again, but Ashley B growled and gripped her by the arm, hard. ‘Do you NOT want that?! Am I the only one that cares about US?!’

‘No, no! Of course not!’, Ashley Q trembled, fighting not to cry. Freeing her hand, she soothingly rubbed it, feeling sore from the grasp. ‘I… I was just thinking out loud. If you really think this is the way, then… Then I’ll do as you say.’

‘S…Same.’, Ashley T yiped, feeling terrible at how scared she was. She had wanted to ask Ashley B nicely to not grip Ashley Q’s arm like that, but decided it would be best to stay silent.

Turning her attentions back to Ashley A (after a centering nose breath), Ashley B pointed to the left. ‘Bathroom’s over there. We’ll wait.’

Ashley A opened her mouth to protest, barely getting 4 words out. ‘But… But Ashley B…’

‘Now, Ashley A.’

‘But Ashley B, I… Please… I don’t want to do this…’

‘Ashley A, do it now.’

‘But… It’s so embarrassing.’, Ashley A blubbered, feeling at the verge of tears.

Ashley B’s eyes grew dark, her voice darker. She stared daggers into Ashley A, seemingly holding herself back from slapping her. ‘You know what IS embarrassing?’.

She stood up and walked slowly up to Ashley A, every eye on her. It was like she was the house itself, unleashing its power onto the tiny human before it. Pointing in rage, she seethed ‘Not being able to trust our leader, a fellow Ashley, MY BEST FRIEND. What’s embarrassing is knowing I’d do ANYTHING for this group, while you can barely muster a FUCKING purple ensemble! What’s EMBARRASSING is that ALL I’m asking is that you prove your loyalty to us so that we can all just be Ashley’s again, and you bitch and moan about every single FUCKING thing!’

She set her forehead on Ashley’s staring right into her eyes, practically nudging them to act out, to prove their dishonesty. ‘YOU WANNA BE AN ASHLEY, A? YOU WANNA BE OUR FRIEND?!’

‘YES! I DO! I DO!’, Ashley A replied, terrified out of her wits, feeling her heart hammer in her chest, but not lying for a moment, her eyes standing still and meeting Ashley B’s.

‘...Then talk to the hand. Because all this face wants to see is a whack pair of underwear freezing in exactly 3 minutes. I don’t wanna hear promises. I wanna see action.’, Ashley B coldly replied, pointing to the direction of the bathroom.

Ashley A gulped, but nodded, to stay safe. She rushed off to the bathroom and prepared to do just that.

But as she closed the door, and looked in the mirror, holding the pair, she let herself shed one small pathetic tear.

‘Please love me again.’ she thought, as she braced herself to walk out to the kitchen.

It was like a death row march all over again, though Ashley assumed those prisoners never had to carry their underwear while their friends mocked and jeered them. Maybe. Ashley didn’t know how prison worked.

Slowly making her way to the sink, Ashley turned on the cold tap, and sighed. ‘This LITERALLY cannot get any wor…’

[sokoviansimp]

The Package

✒  Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Child!Reader (platonic)

✒  Tags & Warnings: child taken by hydra, neglect

-lmk if im missing any

✒ A/N : I’m planning for this to be a series :) I’m open to requests or suggestions for other parts

✒ Summary: The team is sent off to retrieve a dangerous package from Hydra, instead they find a child. 

✒ Word Count: 3373

Masterlist | The Package AU | Part 2

“If all goes to plan, this should be textbook stuff,” Steve explained to the team waiting to unload from the Quinjet, “we get in, get the package, and then get out. Understood?” The team consisting of Wanda, Tony, Clint, and Nat all nodded on queue.

At that point, they felt the landing gear make contact with the ground just a couple miles out from the Hydra base they planned to invade. The exit door began to lift and they all filed out of the vehicle to get into position. Wanda and Tony took to the sky for surveillance while the other 3 followed behind on 2 motorcycles.

The plan was to be as discrete as they could for as long as possible. They knew it wouldn’t be a stealth mission, but to draw the least amount of attention until they had the package was ideal. 

Wanda took out the guards at the gate before they could trigger an alarm while Tony blasted the surveillance cameras. The ground team was free to move into the base, all was going according to plan. It didn’t take long for them to draw attention to themselves once they infiltrated the entrance. The opposing team sprung into action, sending as many goons as they could to slow down the invasion long enough to escape with what they needed most from a helicopter on the roof. 

Tony saw the blades of the helicopter slowly start to spin as they warmed up and quickly blasted them off with his repulser to prevent them from leaving. Quickly making his way to the helicopter to retrieve the package, that he assumed they were trying to escape with. 

“Oh, no you don’t” he quipped toward the scientists as he took them out and snatched their briefcase. 

“Steve, I’ve got the briefcase, time to boogie,” Tony exclaimed over the comms. 

“Briefcase?” Steve repeated, confused. 

“Yea, in my hand. Let’s go,”

“The package won’t fit in a briefcase, Tony.” Steve rebutted, “Does it say HS12?” 

The briefcase was silver and had no distinct markings on it other than the hydra symbol at the top adorning the combination lock, “er- no, but they were trying to leave with it so I just-” 

“Keep looking Stark” Steve commanded. 

Going through the same doors that the scientists came through on the roof, Wanda went in to search the building for the real package they were after. The only thing she knew about it, is that it’s labeled HS12 and it’s extremely dangerous. Making her way through the dimly lit halls of the base, she saw weapon labs labeled with a W and corresponding numbers. Initially, she went into one hoping to find what she was looking for but everything in the room began with a W so she knew she was likely far off from her target. 

Coming up empty handed she decided to ask for help. The room that she went into initially was empty, so she found one that wasn’t, “Excuse me?” she said with feigned innocence, “I’m looking for something specific, can one of you help me?” 

The scientists tried to scurry away knowing exactly who they were speaking with. Wanda Maximoff was spoken about widely throughout Hydra, she was one of their greatest successes after all. With little effort; Wanda trapped the men in the room with her, locking the doors shut with her magic, “HS12, Where can I find it?” Wanda sternly queried, she hated being back in the house of hydra after being experimented on by the same people just a couple of years prior. Reminding herself that she was a misinformed volunteer helped quell the hatred she held for them in her soul. Some of these people may be of the same fate, thinking they're changing the world for the better, only to be helping the wrong team. Or even worse, some of these people may not even have a choice in the matter at all. Doing work to protect a loved one from threats of torture or even death. 

As silence stained the room, she decided to give her audience some incentive to answer. Using her magic, she lifted the scientist with the most badges displayed on his lab coat up into the air. Judging by the badges, he’s likely been there a while, meaning he should have the information she’s seeking. While in her grasp, the red wisps moved up to his throat as they squeezed into each other, cutting off his oxygen supply, “I won’t ask again”

Merely seconds later, the scientist was already squirming, “th-” he tried to gasp out, Wanda loosened her hold on his throat just enough for him to speak the answer, “third fl- floor” he squealed out; desperate for air, and scared for his life. Wanda wasted no time, abruptly dropping the scientist to the linoleum tile that sat below him as she turned to head for the staircase. 

The entrance to the third floor from the stairwell was locked, needing a keycard for entry. The door read Authorized Personnel Only in bold red letters. This didn’t do anything to stop Wanda, as she blasted her magic through the door swinging it open. Similarly to the rooms on the upper floor, each one was labeled with HS and a corresponding number. The first door to her left reads HS37, so she continues down the hall to look for 12. The first chunk of rooms are empty, it isn’t until she gets down around 15 that she realizes they aren’t weapon rooms, they’re cells. Then it clicks; HS = Human Subject.

Her heartbeat picks up as her mind starts to conjure images of what type of monster could be waiting for her behind the door. Whatever it is, whoever it is, she’s sure she can handle it, in fact, she’s slightly relieved that she’s the one to find it because she’s probably best suited out of the current team to face a dangerous creature. With only a few doors between 15 and 12, she arrives quicker than her mind can prepare, so she stands there for a couple of seconds, inhaling deeply before blasting the locked door with her magic. 

As she enters, the building starts to tremble, shockwaves radiating from the room. She’s met with quite the opposite of what she was expecting, a small child scurrying to huddle into a fetal position in the corner of the room terrified of the stranger that just entered. Most of the time, people visiting your cell were unwelcomed, but at least they were familiar. Their visits often resulted in needles being poked into your arms which made you dread the sound of the hinges on the door. 

Wanda’s features immediately softened in an attempt to calm you, “Hi there, it’s ok malyshka, I’m not going to hurt you,” she gently assured 

You nuzzled your head deeper into your legs seeking any comfort you could get as tears threaten to spill from your eyelids. 

“Steve, you didn’t tell us HS12 is a child,” Wanda said angrily over the comms to the super soldier. 

“A what?!” Natasha chimed in confused

The increase of Wanda’s voice jarred your nerves even more, and it was noticeable by the way the shake of the building picked up. 

“Wanda, what’s your location?” Steve queried

“Third floor.”

“Stay there, we’re coming. Be careful, she’s dangerous.” Steve warned

Deciding not to heed Steve’s comment, Wanda continued on with her attempt to calm you down, “Shh, it’s ok. What’s your name?”

“y-y/n” you squeaked out

“Y/N, such a pretty name. I’m Wanda,”

“Wan-da?” you tested the name on your tongue, still unsure about the woman standing before you. 

“Yes!” she exclaimed excitedly, “I’m here to help you,” she conveyed with a genuine smile. Her brows raised slightly as she spoke.

“No poke?” you whimpered, wanting to trust Wanda because she felt motherly but still reluctant.

“No, no poke.” she reached for you, “come on.”

You hesitantly took her hand as you stood on grounded feet beneath you, “where we go?”

“Home,” Wanda assured

Confused, you furrowed your brows and looked at the redhead, “I no have home”

Hearing you utter the words broke her heart, not only the fact that it may be true, but it was the way you knew it to be true that left her heart in little pieces, “That’s going to change, dorogoy.” 

“No, no leave,” you shook your head side to side as you removed your hand from hers and backed up until you made contact with the wall, “I be good, no ouchies,” you stated, worrying what they would do to you if they caught you trying to leave. 

Wanda kneeled down to your level, “no one will hurt you, ill make sure of it.”

Within a couple of seconds, the rest of the team arrived at your doorway. Seeing Steve and Clint in the doorway was enough to send your nerves into overload. Men, in general, scared you, everyone that you recalled causing you harm had always been male so you were much less likely to trust them. Their suits and weapons only helped to give you more anxiety that they were there to cause you pain, “NO! PLEASE!” you screamed as sounds of stray items hitting the floor echoed through the hallways.

“Wanda, we have to get her out of here” Steve stated in a stoic tone 

“Y/N, I need you to calm down for me, can you do that? Look at me,” she said trying her best to diffuse the situation without subduing you. 

All you wanted to do was cry out for your mama, you wanted to be held and told it will all be ok but you knew that wasn’t an option. You lost your mother and she’s never coming back, no one was coming to help ease your emotions, you’re all on your own and you only have yourself to protect you.  

At that moment, a crack bellowed through the ceiling causing a chunk to fall above your head. Without a second thought, Clint drew an arrow from his quiver and shot straight through the debris, breaking it into smaller pieces in an effort to protect you. From your point of view, you saw a man draw an arrow on you and miss just above your head, who knows what he’d do next? 

The action, in an involuntary attempt to protect yourself, caused shockwaves to erupt from your tiny form as you squealed and folded in on yourself. The building had already started crumbling, but this was the final straw that rained trauma on every support in the structure.

With the building on the verge of swallowing you all whole and Wanda’s attempts to calm you falling short, she knew she had to stop you, for your own safety. The crimson tendrils of magic flew out from her fingers to seep directly into your mind, quelling your thoughts instantly and leaving you in restful sleep. The building stopped shaking the second you were out, some damage remained but the structure was still standing. As your legs gave out underneath you, Wanda was there to catch you from the impending floor and bring you straight into her arms, holding you tightly. 

Wanda held you in her arms the entire flight. How could someone do this to such an innocent child, she thought. A part of her felt guilty for ever being a part of an organization that would go to such great lengths. You were sleeping, but the dreams swirling around in your head were far from quiet. To be truthful, being asleep was one of your favorite things, you were free to explore your own imagination in 4 dimensions instead of being confined to the cell the Hydra held you captive in. 

Natasha, knowing how hard this must be for Wanda, made her way over to sit next to the Sokovian. She placed a reassuring hand on Wanda’s thigh to show her that she’s there for her while Wanda zoned out, deep in thought. 

“She’s lucky you found her,” Natasha gently stated.

“I just, I don’t understand how someone could hurt her,” Wanda sighed, “To look into that little face and lock her in a cell,” her bottom lip quivered as tears threatened to spill over but she held them back. 

“I know, but now we can make sure no one ever hurts her again,” Nat offered. 

Wanda pulled her lips together and lifted her cheeks slightly to form a neutral expression of acknowledgment. After a beat of silence, Natasha wrapped her left arm around the redhead. Wanda melted into the Russian next to her, allowing her head to lean back onto her chest, “I’m not giving her up to Fury,” Wanda whispered. 

“I know.”

When the team lands, they immediately bring you to the medbay and Tony gets to work on an inhibitor for your powers. They gather a little blood so they can run tests and the only reason Wanda even lets them is that you're asleep and won’t be bothered. Once they've released you from the medical unit, Wanda takes you to her room to get cleaned up. 

“Don’t get too attached, Maximoff. We have to give her to Fury,” Steve called out as Wanda ignored him and made her way up the stairs with you. 

She gently lays you on the bed as she leaves to start running the bath water. As the water fills, she returns to your side and begins to shake you gently. The redhead was nervous to wake you before Tony finished the inhibitor, but she was confident that she could soothe you enough for a bath, “Y/N” she hummed to your laying figure on the bed, as you began to stir awake, “wake up, malyshka, it’s tubby time” 

The words rang into your ears, and in your waking stupor, you imagined you were back in your home with your mother. You stretched your arms above your head before opening your eyes to the sight of a smiling redhead looming above you. The same one from your cell, she told you her name, what was it? Oh right!

“Wana” you blurted

“Yes! Wanda,” the sokovian punctuated the d in her name that you had missed, “Come little one, let’s get you all cleaned up,” she said taking you in her arms and bringing you both into the bathroom. 

To her surprise, you had no negative reaction to waking up in a completely different environment. You felt safe with Wanda, and the room you were in was so much nicer than the cell you had been confined to that you didn’t see a reason to be scared. 

“Where are we?” you questioned, knowing you were no longer at the Hydra base, or at least nowhere that you had ever seen. 

“We are at the Avengers Compound,” Wanda explained, “This is my bedroom,” she continued as she took your clothes off, plopping them in the laundry bin and getting you settled into the tub. 

“A-bengers?” 

“Yes, have you heard of them before, Y/N?” Wanda wondered how much you knew

“No, neber”

“Well, the Avengers are superheroes, they save people.”

You let the words sink in as Wanda lathered soap into a cloth, “Abengers saved me?” you tried putting the pieces together. 

“We did,” Wanda began, rubbing the soft soap-filled cloth along your shoulders, “and no one will ever hurt you again.” Your gaze traveled upward to meet hers as a small smile crept onto your face. 

The feeling of being in a bath again made you so happy. The last time you had a bath, you were with your mother. Just being in the tub again brought back feelings of comfort. Wanda took her time to be gentle with you as she knew it was going to be a long bath. You had so much grime build-up in your hair from being neglected in a cell that she wasn’t sure if it would be best to just cut it off. Even though you needed extreme cleaning, she didn’t want to overwhelm you on your first day either. As long as she could get you clean enough to feel comfortable she would accept it for the time being. 

You continue to learn more about the avengers throughout your bath as you asked Wanda lots of questions. Your personality was finally getting to show itself, after almost a year of being buried.

“Friday, can you ask Nat to bring Y/Ns clothes upstairs?” Wanda called out to the AI intercom, “Sure thing, Ms. Maximoff!” it quickly notated.

Your eyes widened and your face lifted at the robot's voice, “Who’s dat?” you pointed in the air to try and pinpoint the direction of the voice

“That is Friday, she’s like uh- a robot assistant”

It doesn’t take long for Natasha to arrive with your clothes, “How’d it go?” she asks peering into the bathroom before walking in. 

“It went great! Y/N did so well!” she says beaming you with the brightest smile. The two girls get you dressed and bring you back into the bedroom. 

“She's a weapon and she needs to be handed over to the right people.” the three of you overheard Steve’s take on your custody as you entered the common room in Wanda’s arms. The redhead felt your body tense up as soon as the other Avengers came into view, “it’s ok malyshka, no one will hurt you here” she whispered toward you in an attempt to calm the anxiety that she knew was brewing within you. You nuzzled into her neck in response, feeling safe in her hold. 

“She’s not a weapon, she’s a child,” Natasha cut into Steve’s conversation with Tony, better her than Wanda for Steve’s sake, “have some compassion, Rogers”

“-with unchecked powers that could destroy this planet” Steve added, 

“So we keep them in check,” Nat stated without hesitation. 

“You’re not seriously considering keeping her here?” Steve shifted his weight to turn his attention to Natasha. 

“Why not? It’s the perfect place for her to learn how to control her powers.” A wave of relief washed over Wanda to see that she wasn’t the only one wanting to keep you around. 

“Because we aren’t running a daycare” Steve doesn’t let up, “She needs to be handed over to Fury.”

“Yea, well Wanda and I both know what it’s like to be experimented on at a young age, it’s not something you just get over. We have a real chance to give her a better life, teach her how to control her gifts, and make sure no one ever hurts her again.” 

“She’s staying here, and if Fury has an issue with that, he can come find me.” Wanda snarls as she walks through the common room with you toward the theatre.

Wanda sat you down in one of the La-Z-Boy chairs in the front row as she set up the movie, “any requests, malyshka?” wanda offered as she scrolled through some options on the screen

Your face lit up at the sight of the golden dog, “Doggy!” you exclaim with an outstretched arm towards the screen.

Your reaction causes a chuckle from Wanda, “Dug Days it is.” She smiled as she started the first episode.

The show had you on the edge of your seat, excited about what shenanigans the dog would be up to. It felt so good for you to finally be able to act like a kid again. You couldn’t help the thoughts swirling in the back of your brain of going back to the bad place. Before Wanda had a chance to start the next episode, you blurted out, ”Dey want me to leave?”

“What?”

“Da man, is he gonna make me leave?” you meet her gaze with doe wide eyes.

“No sweetie, this is your home now.” she gently assured you as she rubbed your back.

“Really? Home?” you tested the word once more now that it had real meaning to you. 

“Yes, come here” Wanda lifted the armrest that separated the two of you and wrapped her left arm around your shoulder allowing you to snuggle into her side as she clicked play on the next episode.

[robininthelabyrinth]

I'd like to see more of the Jiang Cheng has spider venom fic. Mostly because I want to see him bite someone else. How about a Jin?

Normal For the Spider - Extra: 5 People Jiang Cheng Bit, Some of Whom Deserved It

ao3

1 – Wei Wuxian

“So I’ve been exchanging letters with shijie on account of the whole theoretically banished business,” Wei Wuxian said as they strolled down the Qiongqi Path together, Wen Ning behind them making shy stuttering friends with the handful of Jiang sect disciples Jiang Cheng had brought along with him – he’d deliberately picked the friendliest and most social of the lot, the ones that acted like overgrown puppies and wanted to adopt everyone they met, and sure enough they’d mobbed Wen Ning like a bunch of crows intent on raising the poor little sparrow they found into a proper bird. It was no more than Wen Ning deserved, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion. Someone needed to socialize him, and clearly neither his sister nor Wei Wuxian were doing crap about it.

“That’s nice,” Jiang Cheng said. “If by nice you mean extremely suspicious. What about in particular?”

“Your family inheritance.”

“Is this about the summer house we have near that mountain lake? I told you, it’s been deserted for years and may possibly be haunted by something resistant to the usual liberation techniques, but if you really want to go there, you’re of course allowed…”

“That’s not the inheritance I meant and you know it.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. He did know it. “What questions do you have now?” he asked. “More medical stuff from Wen Qing?”

She’d recovered from the venom very well and immediately started wanting to know everything. Recovered a little too well, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion.

“No, this one’s for me,” Wei Wuxian said. “We’re going to Lanling City in order to let Jin Ling bite me as a way to establish familial ties and let him ‘absorb’ good aspects from my personality, right?”

Jiang Cheng nodded.

“So in some cases, biting is an act of affection?”

Jiang Cheng nodded, a little more warily.

“Then how come you’ve never bitten me?”

“It’s only affectionate when you’re a baby,” Jiang Cheng said. “Once you grow into your childhood venom, it starts being dangerous, even to family; you don’t do affection-bites after that point. And when you’re an adult…well, you saw Wen Qing!”

“Eh, she’s fine now,” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. “I feel like I missed out! It’s not fair, Jiang Cheng. I deserve a bite! I’m practically your brother! We share essential bodily organs!”

“Wei Wuxian! Don’t talk about that!”

“Bite me and I’ll stop.”

“I’m not biting you just to make you stop being annoying –”

2 – Jin Zixun

“What are you doing here?!” Jiang Cheng demanded. “This is an ambush! Is the Jin sect considering waging an act of war against the Jiang sect?”

Jin Zixun scowled at him. “Not against the Jiang sect,” he said haughtily. “Against the Yiling Patriarch.”

“He’s my head disciple!”

That got a confused sort of frown. “But you banished him…?”

“Rumor,” Jiang Cheng said, with dignity, the way they’d always planned. “Baseless rumor, that’s all.”

Rumor he’d never denied, and had instead implicitly encouraged so that people would leave his Jiang sect alone for a little while as he gathered up strength and resources to tell them to fuck off.

“But…” Jin Zixun hesitated. “You just – attacked him?”

Jiang Cheng glared at Wei Wuxian, still lying prone on the ground with his head in Wen Ning’s lap to elevate it and his neck bandaged but still a little red – surely the paralytic had worn off by now?

Wei Wuxian noticed him staring and gave a jaunty little wave, grinning and very clearly regretting nothing, which meant that the paralytic had worn off and he was just lying there to be comfortable while watching the fun.

Typical.

“A friendly exchange,” he said, trying to maintain his dignity. “Also? Not the Jin sect’s business. What about you? What did you want with him?”

“I want him to remove the curse he cast on me,” Jin Zixun said, and he strode forward before Jiang Cheng could stop him and kicked Wei Wuxian in the side. “You hear me, you bastard?! I want the damn thing gone this instant or else –”

3 – Wen Ning

“So this is going to be a little awkward to explain,” Jin Zixuan said, rubbing his face. He looked tired, but that was possibly a side-effect of having Jin Zixun as a cousin. “Tell me, why are my cousin’s flunkies – er, I mean, my cousin’s friends convinced that it was Wen Ning that poisoned him?”

Jiang Cheng scowled.

“No offense meant,” Jin Zixuan added, nodding politely to Wen Ning. “It’s just, you know, you’re very much not a Yu, or even a Jiang.”

“No offense taken,” Wen Ning mumbled, though to Jiang Cheng’s eyes he looked a little pleased, even if his stiff wooden face still didn’t do emotions all that well. “It’s nice not to be automatically feared.”

“It’s because Wen Ning punched Jin Zixun in the face at the same moment that I bit him,” Jiang Cheng interjected, because someone needed to answer the actual question. “And then Jin Zixun fell over and someone started shouting about corpse poison – even though he’s obviously turned purple! Purple venom, purple spider, purple lightning…what part of this thematic color scheme is not obvious?!”

“Technically, the livor mortis spots generated by corpse poison are also purple,” Wei Wuxian said, completely unhelpfully. “According to Wen Qing, it’s the lack of oxygen in the blood pooling under the skin or something, which is the same thing your mom’s poison does.”

“Do you think you’re helping?” Jiang Cheng demanded.

“No, not at all. Did I sound like I was helping? I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m going to bite you again, you little…”

“My father isn’t going to want to let Wen Ning through the door if he’s considered a possible threat,” Jin Zixuan said, wisely deciding to carry on with the conversation despite their bickering. “You know he’s been saying all those things about how dangerous the Yiling Patriarch is – this’ll just feed into that.”

“I’m not going to Lanling City without Wen Ning!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. “Wen Qing made me promise! It’s his first time visiting such a big place, too!”

“I’m pretty sure Wen Qing made you promise not to leave him behind because she was worried about your well-being, not Wen Ning’s ability to be a tourist,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Doesn’t matter! I’m not leaving him, and I’m definitely not going to not attend the party, so you have to fix this!”

“I don’t know how to fix this –”

Wen Ning coughed lightly. “Uh,” he said. “Jin-gongzi…would your father let me in if I wasn’t a threat? Say, if I was unconscious?”

A moment of silence.

“…does venom work even on fierce corpses?”

“Of course it does,” Jiang Cheng said irritably. “It wouldn’t be much of a defense mechanism for a cultivator if it didn’t.”

4 – Jin Guangshan

“I didn’t mean to!” Jiang Cheng said, his hands over his mouth. “I really didn’t mean to! It’s Wei Wuxian’s fault!”

“How is this my fault?!” Wei Wuxian asked. He looked amused, which was never a good sign, and even less so given the extreme crisis of the situation. “I wasn’t even in the room.”

“You encouraged me to keep biting people as a solution to everything!” Jiang Cheng hissed. “It got me in the mood. I wasn’t thinking!”

He looked down at the unconscious (and swiftly purpling) Jin Guangshan and grimaced. There was no convenient Wen Ning to put the blame on this time: it had been just the two of them, Jin Guangshan and Jiang Cheng, alone in a room together. Jin Guangshan had wanted to have words with him, sect leader to sect leader, which mostly meant that he wanted to throw his weight and seniority around to try to brow-beat Jiang Cheng into doing what he wanted, except that wasn’t going to work because Jiang Cheng was prepared, okay, he’d worked so long and so hard to try to build up the Jiang sect until it could resist Jin sect pressure.

And he’d probably just ruined everything.

“He has legitimate grounds to declare war against us now,” Jiang Cheng said miserably. “Or maybe to demand that we hand over that stupid Tiger Seal he keeps bugging you about as reparations, or in order to keep him from declaring war…”

“We can’t let him have it,” Wei Wuxian said at once. “It’s far too dangerous. I’d destroy it, first.”

“But then he’d still have a reason to strike against us…”

There was the soft sound of someone clearing their throat, and at first Jiang Cheng thought it was Wen Ning but when he looked up it was Jin Guangyao, instead. He looked the same as always, gentle and personable and smiling, which struck Jiang Cheng as being unaccountably weird for some reason that he couldn’t figure out until he remembered that the man’s father was currently lying on the ground being poisoned and maybe Jin Guangyao shouldn’t be smiling so much.

“If you don’t mind,” Jin Guangyao said, “I might have a suggestion that would get rid of that problem…”

5 – Wen Qing

“…and long story short, Jin Guangyao is going to run Lanling Jin until Jin Zixuan is done having kids, which may be never based on the soppy looks he and my shijie keep exchanging, and we all have the Jin sect’s blessing to move back into the Lotus Pier,” Wei Wuxian concluded. “All’s well that ends well, right, Jiang Cheng?”

Jiang Cheng crossed his arms and glared, admitting nothing.

“I’ll be happy to move anywhere that has decent food,” Wen Qing remarked. “This damn place won’t even grow radishes properly, and it’s Yiling; the radishes should be practically growing themselves.”

“I’ve arranged for some farmland for your people,” Jiang Cheng said, because practicalities he could do. “There’s still lots left over from before the war, lying fallow, and some of the places are medicinal herb fields – we need people with cultivation to tend to those, so I figured that might work for you. You’d have half regular farmland, to make sure you can grow whatever food you feel you need to be comfortable, and the other half, the herbs, can be sold to the Jiang sect at profit.”

“That sounds good,” Wen Qing said.

“Especially since they’re medicinal herb plants,” Wei Wuxian chimed in. “You could stock up on medicines you need!”

“A lot of medicines have to be obtained through trade, you utter nincompoop! I can’t make medicine just using what a single medicinal herb field will generate!”

Jiang Cheng nodded approvingly, thinking to himself that at least there was someone else in the world who understood exactly how aggravating it was to have to deal with Wei Wuxian’s unbridled and illogical optimism on a regular basis.

“And as for you,” Wen Qing said, turning to Jiang Cheng, who blinked owlishly at her. “Don’t think I missed the part of that story about how biting people is a sign of affection!”

“It’s – what?! No, you don’t – that’s when we’re children– it’s –”

Wei Wuxian started cackling.

[missgeniality]

Opaline Moon (m)

“The Moon can never breathe, but it can take our breath away with the beauty of its cold, arid orb.” - Munia Khan

➺ Banner: @hobiandsprite​ 💕

➺ Pairing: Seokjin x Female Reader

➺ Trope: Friends to Lovers, Idol!AU

➺ Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

➺ Rating: 18+

➺ Word Count: 11.2k

➺ Summary: You are ingrained to love Jin, right upto the blood that courses through your veins. Confessing, however, is a whole other game. So it’s a good thing you’re bad at keeping your hands to yourself, because happenstance can handle the rest. 

➺ Warnings: talks about dance floor fucking, making out in the bar bathroom, fingering, pussy slapping, passing out drunk, daydreams about thigh riding, reader masturbates, they make out A LOT, neck kissing, a hickey, nipple play, some biting, cum eating (kind of, you’ll see), blowjob, protected sex!, reader and jin are corny, the hurt is real but the sex is real-er

➺ Author’s Note: My lovely, lovely moots - @taegularities​, @kithtaehyung​ and @baepsaetan​, thank you so much for betaing this and hyping it up, your comments made this fic a hundred times better! As I mentioned on the teaser, this fic took a lot out of me, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing the angst and will write more whenever the story aligns! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing, and I hope this lovable Jin reaches your heart! (ngl, in usual fashion, I will come back and edit it again, so if you see a spelling mistake, your eyes are lying to you) Do let me know what you think, your asks and comments make my day!

This is the second part of my Dress Down series, find more at it’s masterlist!

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ | ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

Sweltering heat. Blaring traffic. Little to no sleep. Through all things wrong, one man’s thoughts wrapped around you like a cooling breeze, a shield to protect you from the vicissitudes of reality, to draw you back into all of him. Unfortunately, your reality may never see that day come to light.

Kim Seokjin.

Kim Seokjin, the man who cooked you up a greasy break-up meal at three in the morning with not a sight of discomfort, putting your needs above all.

Kim Seokjin, whose puns make you roll your eyes heavenward, half awed at how he manages to pull one out of his collection at a moment's notice, and half irked by the untimely laugh it brings out of you.

Kim Seokjin, the man who will never be yours, and you have no one to blame but yourself. 

One could argue that the miscommunication that had caused this present condition was two-way. If you had stopped him, corrected him, let him know the truth… you wouldn’t have to resort to the extreme measures you’re currently entangled in. One would also say, you are trying to redeem your mistake by trying too hard. Surely, everyone and their mothers could see through your ruse. 

This is the fourth time you’re visiting Jin for his BE shoot - a shoot taking place two hours away from the city, disguised under various layers of secrecy to prevent any leakage of the album concept, or Jin in general. Of course, you had been made privy to such exclusive information, because you and Jin were ‘best friends’. 

Best. Friends.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Best friends. The term you coined for (and forced upon) the bond you had. The bond that was too close to sprouting into something new, something fresh, something that was filled with glimmering allure and dragged you in like quicksand. But also, it reeked of commitment, of shadows, of newness that you hadn’t felt in the longest time, and fear of already being far too deep in without even taking the first step. 

The loud thrum of some internet kid’s new hit pulses through the air of the club as bundles of couples occupy the dance floor, laughing and gyrating to a song that, in your opinion, most definitely does not suit gyrating. But with enough of the weekend happy hours intake combined with hormone-riddled minds, one could very well throw it back to a church choir. 

You weave through the drunken bodies, trying not to spill the precariously held three drinks in your hands, making your way to your inner circle, the only people to blame for dragging you to this slosh-fest.

“Y/N!” 

Somehow Hoseok’s voice can echo across the club, but you didn’t even need his addressal because Jin’s laughter is loud enough to navigate anyone to your table. Seeing you struggle with the glasses (and mostly the crowd, with some of them living their exhibitionist dreams), Hoseok gets up to assist you.

“I swear, if I see one more couple pretending to be dancing as they rub one off of each other’s thighs, the black market will have my eyes.”

“Oh yeah?” Jin’s breathy voice interjects your black-market dreams, still bursting in short laughs from whatever sent him rolling before your arrival. “Why don’t you go join them?”

“And whose thigh is she taking, yours?” Yeji snorts out, one hand holding her nebula blue drink, the other wrapped around Hoseok, urging him to come closer. Jin’s features scrunch into a cringe, and you’re thankful for the dim lighting because the disappointment in your features does not reach them.

“The only action these leather pants are getting is in the damned laundromat,” he points to his shiny trousers, “some jerk dropped his drink on it.”

“You could be the first person to give some chick an orgasm and a yeast infection.” Hoseok giddily adds, his fifth shot clearly making a mess of his brain cells. 

Jin claps and gets up to move away from the group. “Better than a pregnancy!” he yells, before zigzagging through the crowd, possibly to the restroom. He is on his third cocktail, and you’d think cocktails are lighter drinks. But in this bar, their taps just seem to flow with tequila, and it is very evident in the way Jin is currently walking.

His absence hits you harder than you think, but it might be the alcohol talking. Jin has always been the mood-maker of the group, the one who brings everyone together. Of late though, his magnetic persona has been an irritant in your life. Any outing you two take, any chance you have to come clean about the burgeoning crush you have on him, is effectively disrupted by one of his posse. And today, Hoseok and Yeji took that trophy. 

“Earth to Y/N. Has the cocktail finally broken you?”

You flutter your eyes in a manic fashion, to disperse the daydream you were indulging yourself in, and bring your attention back to the couple calling for you. Surprisingly, they have stood up, Yeji emptying the last of her neon drink. 

“What happened?”

“We are going to the club nearby, they have better stuff. And that’s code for ‘they actually add water to the drink and the surround sound doesn’t shatter your ear drum’.’” 

She isn’t wrong. The cocktails and music here are a 19-year-old frat party dream, not something the working class can digest. But you’re tired at this point, and don’t want to be smothered by someone else’s love life when your own is down the dumps.

“You guys carry on! I’ll tell Jin where you are and he’ll meet you there!”

You watch as Hoseok and Yeji lead each other to the exit, hands circling their partner’s waist. They giggle on and on, about nothing and everything, and it only hardens the emptiness you feel inside you. 

Why can’t you gather the balls to spit your feelings out? What could possibly go wrong? Yes, you may lose one of your closest friends, but is this friendship really worth the agony? The bitterness you feel when you see any couple enjoying themselves? The anger you harbor whenever Jin tells you about his dates? The heartache, when he hugs you and tells you that you’re the best thing that’s happened to him… as a friend? Is it? Your plastered brain tells you to not make any rash decisions, so you don’t, instead choosing to get up and search for your best friend. 

The corridor leading to the washrooms is dimly lit, throwing a merlot filter over your eyesight, making you squint in search of your friend. You being shitfaced does not help, and while relishing in your floating wooziness, you see Jin come out, and feelings you’ve held at bay for so long slither through your currently porous defenses. 

He has always been good-looking. He himself has said so a dozen times.

But wow.

His hair lays messily atop his beautiful face, unkempt, like a breeze of beauty swept across his mighty looks and displaced every strand, causing disarray, but even the disarray only frames his superior looks and adds to its potent charm. The black, patchy sweater hanging loose off his broad shoulders makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel as a friend. That stupid gut of yours is currently screaming, yelling for all hands on deck, trying to block all the feelings from gushing in and sending you into overdrive.

By the time you can gather yourself to stop from giving in to those dangerous thoughts, Jin has crossed the distance between you, coming close, too close. Chocolate-brown eyes peer into your soul, searching for whichever fantasy you chose to lose yourself in. His eyes flit down to notice your rumpled dress that has found its way a couple of inches above its designated spot. His gaze returns to yours, but not without a newfound hardness, an almost steely glaze over the kindness that you usually find in the chocolate pools, accentuated under the garnet lighting. 

“Hey, umm…” You beg for a reprieve, from your thoughts, from your filthy mind, from the way he is eyeing your cleavage, or just for the burning between your legs. You’re about to make some serious mistakes, you can feel it down to your bone.

You’re far too overdressed. 

You knew it when you were in the process of getting dressed, but right now, you feel it much more - you look like a shiny disco ball orbiting amidst the plethora of loose tees, leggings and flannels. Everything screams comfort, because the amount of work they’re putting into this begs for it. 

The strappy lace sundress you wear is extremely out of place, the halter-neck tie behind your neck fastened a little looser than necessary, giving your breasts the exposure they deserve, a nice valley view. Your dress skirt, adorned with pretty frills and dainty flowers, cut across your thigh to frame your petite hips. You are one floppy sun hat away from an extravagant Greek cruise - and in the moment you wish you had one to hide your face in shame. 

You’re just out here, trying to escape the zone. 

“Oh, would you look at the time, it’s tits out Tuesday already?”

Your eyes roll before Sanghoon even finishes his sentence, because you wouldn’t expect anything else from him. On the team of the set design, he is carrying a whole drapery worth of plush, mauve curtains, struggling with the slipping fabric. But apparently not struggling enough to stop him from getting his nose into your business, it seems.

“Literally not even a time you just mentioned. Can’t get one thing right.” You can’t stop yourself from stretching a hand out to feel the curtain fabric, the satiny sheets begging to be touched. Before you can though, Sanghoon moves away, not allowing you to shift the focus of the conversation.

“Don’t steer away from the facts. Your tits.”

“That’s the fact?”

“They’re out.” He bucks up, trying to point with the hand stuffed underneath all the cloth. “That’s the fact.”

“Ugh, can’t a girl dress up once in a while?” The pointed attention makes you uncomfortable, because everything he’s insinuating is true. With every passing staff member, you count a new shade of grey, interspersed with occasional blacks and greens, a stark contrast to your floral overtones. Amidst the thousand footsteps taken in your vicinity, only yours are pointed heels, echoing across the studio with every clack. But you’re a stubborn one, refusing to give in to his totally valid argument. “I just woke up early.”

“Girl.” Like light through frosted glass, he sees through your bullshit, but only partially. “You put an alarm to dress up? I have nightmares of the boss brandishing her whip and telling me to get into position, and even that doesn’t wake me up.” 

“Have you ever considered… not announcing your kinks to everyone and their sisters?”

“Ehh,” he simply shrugs, “nothing is new when you’ve serenaded your boss drunk in a karaoke bar and still managed to keep your job. Wait. Is that highlighter?”

“Stop staring into my tits!” You can’t believe you got caught, but also, who can you blame? After testing this outfit out from the crack of dawn, you decided your cleavage needed some extra help. Three YouTube tutorials and one TikTok lady - who make it look far easier than it is - down, the contouring brought out the swell of your breasts, and against the light fabric of your dress, it does look too good to be true.

Memories of that night in the bar come in billows and waves, of how enamored Jin was with the way your boobs looked at that time. Even under the dingy lighting, in the cramped space, under heavily inebriated scrutiny, you couldn’t miss the flicker of heat in his gaze every time it passed your chest. 

One thing led to another, and it was a cascade none of you could stop. The heat of attraction between you two does not help your wandering mind, and the fever drowns the knowledge that what you’re feeling is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, crossing some lines that can never be mended back again. With the proximity, his musky scent invades whatever defenses you were trying to patch, piercing through all your inhibitions and you pull him into you, claiming his lips to be yours. 

With his wobbly knees and your wobbly heels, you somehow find your way to the washroom - mostly he does, you give in halfway to wrap your legs around his lean waist, his sturdy legs balancing your weight on them as your back hits the wall, and his lips tear down your walls. 

“You look so fucking sexy today,” between bated breaths and indulgent sighs you confess, “just driving me nuts.” Letting your hands drag along his abdomen, feeling the ups and downs of his abs, you attempt to rid him of the sweater that’s been on your hit list all night. But to your dismay, your endeavor is blocked, when Jin gathers your wrists in his palm, turning you around to bend you over on the countertop, the smooth marble chill hitting your braless chest, perking your nipples under the cold. 

“And you?” Jin bends to give your earlobe a languid lick, progressing very slow, a complete contrast to the movement of his hips as he ruts against your ass, your already short dress bunching up with every move. “You think it’s smart to have your tits torment me like this?” Grabbing a handful from behind, he tests the weight of each fleshy mound, and by now you are certain your perked nubs can pierce his palm. 

His free hand, not yet torturing you, decides to get in on the action and disappears under the counter, swiftly crossing the bunched fabric of your dress, gaining easy access to your pussy. The cold touch of his pads sears against the heat of your core, finding your pleasure button and languidly fiddling with it, with no intention to cross you over the brink in sight. The only pleasure you can indulge in is the reflection of him abusing your nipples, pinching and tugging them down, whispering filthy words into your ear as he takes in your fucked out countenance. 

You feel lacking, weak hands balancing your dizzy self, finding purchase to keep you upright - but you’re both drunk on alcohol and hypnotized by his beauty to do much more than stare at his mirrored counterpart. “For fuck’s sake, kiss me.” 

How he understood your slurred words, you don’t know, but you are glad he did. In a moment you’ve been displaced, the hurried motion sending your neurons into a flurry. Once your back meets the hard marble, and your eyes have the privilege to see his, you pull him in closer, the force enough to hold you against the wall while your legs wrap around his lean waist. 

Originally not a fan of drunken misadventures, that side of yours is strangely mute to the going current onslaught. Well, you don’t have much breath left to say anything, because Jin is efficiently stealing it all, his teeth clashing with yours as you engage in the messiest kiss ever known to mankind (or at least, to you). He changes pace often, dragging his tongue leisurely against your lower lip, conveying tacit words, just to switch it up with a sharp bite and reel you in. 

One corner of your senses can feel his fingers messing around your cunt, and playing with the wetness your thong can barely contain. It makes you shudder, the damage that his fingers can cause solely circling around your hole. 

“Fuck me.” 

In your drunken stupor, you don’t know if the words leave you right, but you get confirmation when his long fingers finally penetrate your cunt, giving your walls something to clench on - although nothing could possibly compare to what you imagine you can get from his dick.

“God, you feel that grip,” he grunts, with two of his fingers in you, and Jin’s smile is the most sinister you’ve ever seen. “I think we should take this home,” is what his lips utter, but his fingers delve deeper, searching for the spot that crumbles you. The base of his palm grinds against your throbbing clit, and you are forced to bite down on this sweater, lest an embarrassingly loud moan escapes you and cues outsiders into your filthy doings. 

“Now,” you half-hiss, half-growl as you grab the cusp of his legs to feel his half-hard erection grow under the pressure of your hand. Your palm sliters up just to go down again, this time without the blockade of his pants, but you are stopped short of success when Jin’s fingers slip out of you to give you a sharp swat. 

“Stubborn, aren’t we? Can’t fucking wait,” he whispers into your ear, and as he envelops your lobe with his cushiony lips, he continues, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

No, no, no. 

Your brain rejects logic, chews and spits it out before any of the rationale seeps into you. You have wanted this for far too long. The need inside you for a meaningful relationship materializes in the form of recklessness, desperately looking for surface-level relief for the moment. A night of sewing sutures to your battle-worn heart, stitches that may come off at the slightest strain - but right now, that will do. 

“Please, Jin,” your tantalizing tone riles up his cock again, eagerly waiting for your next words, “can’t you feel me dripping? Come on, I can take you.”

“Fuck, hear that wetness.” He lets his palm slap against your sopping entrance, not stopping with one. With every slap, droplets of your arousal splash out, the insides of your thighs coated in the sticky sweetness, but your body is an endless reservoir producing plentiful more for Jin to play with. “Have you been sitting with this all this time?”

Two long fingers invade your channel again, leaving you with no response other than a gasp. They scissor incessantly, preparing you for what could be the railing of your lifetime. One curl inside and his fingertips hit the spot he was looking for, making you warp your body to take the pleasure coursing through your veins. His tongue seems to mimic the actions, looping around your earlobe as he sucks it inside, both ends of your body engulfed in all the attention he could provide. 

Your cunt is weeping against the assault of this man’s hands, tears of your cum flowing down your legs with every pump of his arm. You are getting there, the sweet swell of release inching closer and closer.

But something doesn’t feel right.

The tightness in your belly, that is to a point caused by Jin, is harboring other sensations that are not entirely pleasant. Maybe you’re anxious about the happenings. Maybe you haven’t had a good orgasm in a while and have just forgotten how this thing works.

Or maybe, the bar should have the water tap actually give out water.

Either your eyes close, or your brain does, but suddenly all you can see is darkness.

 Again, you are just trying to escape the zone.

“Step under those studio lights,” pointing at the too-bright stage lights being set up at the moment, Sanghoon continues, breaking your daydream, “I bet you could signal to aliens with the booby-reflection. Call them to Netflix and chill.”

“In about five seconds, my heel will be puncturing your eye. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” 

Sanghoon’s drivel was cut short, and so were your murder plans, with his entry. “Oh look, he’s on set. Gotta go!” 

It’s like the lights, earlier threatening to burn away your skin, dim down in reverence of the glow of his face. The twinkle of his eyes when they meet yours. The shine of his smile when he throws you one. The vibrance of his tone when he calls out your name. Everything he does now threatens to burn you whole and it’s a wonder you’re not scalding, but the singe hurts you deep inside.

“Y/N! How do I look?” It’s a bathrobe. Like satin, or silk. Fucking hell, your brain could explode with the adjectives coming up, a whole chunk of them very much inappropriate to utter out in the current scene. Your arms want to rise, engulf him into you, and you have to physically halt the muscles from doing anything stupid. Brain, quick! Say something snarky and spicy, as best friends do!

“What’s the theme, unicorn puke?” The safest way to deflect is to attack. So you do just that. “You look like you dressed out of Hannah Montana’s closet. Which if it's true, I really need to see it. There’s a top that I’ve been eyeing for decades!”

“Don’t say decades.” Jin’s eyes crinkle in humor. “Makes me feel so old. Your dress is pretty cool too!” 

Cool.

You find out how difficult life can be when you count every single minute of yours. So far, you have counted 4,310 minutes. That is two days, twenty-three hours, and fifty minutes. Ten more minutes and it will be three whole days since you and Jin spoke. 

Yet again, you can’t blame him. When you came to the next day, you were in your bed, clad in the same shimmering silver bodycon that you had donned last night. The same one that had been privy to the colorful deeds you had committed in what was a dreary, colorless setting. 

One ibuProfen and ginger ale, downed with some severe recollections of the previous night, and you had been ready to throw it all up again. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

Words couldn’t describe what you were going through, and numbers weren’t invented to count the endless thoughts racing in your brain. You don’t know what is more upsetting. The fact that you actually had a chance to open your heart and you totally let your pussy think instead? Or that he was the one coherent enough to stop you from getting too far, and you let your desperation get the best of you? Everything about that night was wrong. And all the wrongs lie on your side. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

In the moment, it was physical, he had to have meant that. But there was a tremor in his voice, you can remember clear as day, a slightly shaken side of him had emerged through the intoxication, and the words he had breathed were not shallow. There was a gravity to them, that you’d stupidly ignored in the heat of the moment.

And now, here you are. Counting up till the last minute, after which you can effectively call the friendship ruined. Stirring your tea mindlessly, you try to focus on the show on TV, the variety show comedy not striking the usual funny bones that they could 4,311 minutes ago. 

The programmed ding of your phone bursts your thought bubble, a sound you have missed the past 72 hours. The ring you dedicated to Jin, that always had you running to receive because anything he sends brightens your day. But unlike those happier times, this ring has your gut fall into a pit of despair, struggling to choose between dispersing the suspense or remaining blissfully unaware of the damage you caused.

Jin: Free tmrw? We could grab coffee Jin: And talk

Talk. How? You barely remember what went down, save for fleeting moments that you recollected with great difficulty. Your fingers type back, trying to mimic the nonchalance in his text, that is very much absent in your actual demeanor.

Y/N: Sure. Paik’s at 1? Jin: Yup. See ya

Three texts, zero laughs. Of course, you’re not expecting him to land his jokes in this situation, even someone as talented as he can’t flip this tension. You’re just going to have to wait for tomorrow, when he decides whether you have a place in his life or not. 

The painstakingly worn outfit, accessorizing the whole look, the straps of your heels digging into your toes, the specks of makeup dust lying stale on your collar bones, the shine faints at that word. Cool. A perfectly normal phrase for a normal friendship. You are left maimed, while he absent-mindedly tends to the rope of his robe, blissfully unaware of the cyclonic emotions churning inside you. All you can possibly do is gulp it down. 

He runs his hands through his hair, beautiful locks coming out of place, and from one corner of the set, a groan of anguish emerges. 

“Oppa! Don’t play with your hair and face.” A masked lady runs forward waving combs that look like artillery, “We just got done setting it!”

Some finger guns, a happy apology, and some silly jokes later, all the stylists merrily round up to undo his doing, and Jin signals to you to catch up later. And as he walks away, the strings tugging at your heart reappear, as they do every time you come to meet him.

You have a masochistic streak in you, putting yourself through this every day, when he had made it clear, that you two never stood a chance. 

As if things aren’t already difficult, he looks like a dream. 

Soft, snowy skin gleaming like it has personal lighting wherever it goes, you get flashes of the rarely witnessed sweat on his skin, from the ferocity of last night. He’s blowing away the foam of his cappuccino, and tiny bubbles float into the air before falling flat on the table, like an animated shine that follows him along. God has His favorites, and God makes sure all the lighting in the world is perfect for these favorites. 

In no hurry, you wait at the counter to get your latte. After receiving it though, you can’t linger any longer and drag yourself to the table of doom.

“Hey.”

If the rasp in your voice is evident, he doesn’t show any recognition on his face. But you’ve learned to never trust an acting major. 

“Hi. How are you doing?”

Inadvertently, a snicker escapes your lips. “Are you interviewing me for a job?” you joke, trying to disperse the heavy air, filled with unspoken words. “If so, at least know that I’m very expensive.”

The familiar windshield wiper laugh does not greet you. Dead silence does. The half-smirk he painfully gives you is heavy, and the furrowed brows haven’t an inkling of joy. It shoots daggers in your heart, to know that you are the reason for this jolly man’s despondency. 

“Listen, I don’t think we should skirt around the issue too much. It happened, these things happen. You think Hoseok and Yeji didn’t have sex before making it official?”

His matter-of-fact nature isn’t new to you. Jin has always been a very practical man. Regardless of his inane sense of humor, his logical point of view has always been flawless. 

But right now, at this very moment, logic isn’t what you are looking for. You are looking for answers, but as far withdrawn from logic as possible, to take the edge off of the tension-laden air that surrounds your table.

“Yeah, but even… unofficially… we aren’t a thing, right?” 

Your abrupt question takes Jin unaware, almond eyes widening, like a toddler caught in an act. 

“No, no! Of course not! I would never!” 

His confession slips out with an ease that hurts you, digs deep to carve out the part of you that dreamt of anything more. Your eyes fall to your knees to avoid his perceptive gaze, the sting clear as the sky on a summer day. 

You force a smile and continue. “Then there’s no issue. Anyway,” you gulp your coffee down, burning your throat, but it's a distraction from the burning inside, “I need to get to work. Anything else?”

He’s still searching you, for what, you can’t possibly fathom. From the looks of it, he should be happy with this homeostasis; he doesn’t even know what this means for you. To still stay suspended in limbo, not being able to move up or down, to continue having thorns digging into your beating soul as you watch him like nothing bothers your already frail feelings. Scene by scene, you can visualize the future, him distancing himself from you as he finds the one he calls his, with you left in the shadows. Your knees tremble in fear of the impending future.

Seeing you in a tizzy, he calls out, the voice too loud for the cafe and your mind’s prison cage. 

“We’re still best friends, right?” If you knew better, you’d say his expression is that of sadness, of regret. But your judgment is clouded with your own bothers, and you interpret it as a look of pity. Like a lovesick puppy, kicked to the streets, with nowhere to call home. 

“Yeah! Always.” You give it as much enthusiasm as you can muster. 

Best friends.

Ropes wind around your heart, tugging and causing the deep ache that sets in as you walk back into your dreary building. Each string pulls you into a different dimension where you could move on, where you could be okay with the setting you had just agreed to. Where you would keep up your end of the promise and truly remain friends with him.

But no matter how strong the tug, your heart never yields, never lets go of the castle of dreams you built, staying steadfast in its own misery, choosing to hope, choosing to live the life of unrequited love.

“And that’s a wrap! Good job everyone!”

Applause and hurrays echo across the set to bring you back to the present. The shoot has officially concluded, which means it's time for your most favorite and least favorite part of the day - Jin and you doing best friend things, like grabbing lunch, gossiping about obnoxious coworkers, threatening to disembowel each other (in Mortal Kombat, of course) and other friendly activities. 

Ever so respectful, Jin takes his time thanking every member of the set, regardless of whether they moved a cushion or held the reflector screen for hours. All the women gush over his beauty, reminding him of how, even amidst the glowing ornaments, his face was the brightest. His responses vary, from quiet little giggles, to complimenting the crew for making it happen, to straight up owning his charisma like a boss. That’s your man. 

Well, not quite. Not one bit.

After exhausting the handshakes and hugs to be received, Jin walks to you, hands pushing his robe back to give it a cape like effect. You’re just glad that the man’s child persona still stays with him, no matter the situation.  He guides you to his green room, cracking his bones on the way, (very sexily, might you add).

“Holding a pose for that long gives me cramps! You’d think dancing breaks my back, and you’d be wrong.”

You’re desperately avoiding looking at his fingers, and keep your eyes below them - shoot! His ceaseless stretching gives you a glimpse under his shirt - it is dragging your memories back to the last time you saw them, and you’d rather not. It is hurting you in more ways than one. 

Eye contact is your safest bet. Looking up, you give him a lopsided grin. “Your grandfatherly days are approaching, Jinnie.” 

“Hey!” 

The rest of the conversation was less speaking, more yelling and chasing after each other to the green room, Jin taking mock-offence at your jab at his age, and his fingers reaching out to flick your forehead in retort. In your noisy, messy fashion, you both finally enter the room, dim gold light bulbs and shiny mirrors meeting your huffing self. 

One hand on your knee, you hold on to Jin’s arm with your other, gasping for breath. 

“Your grandmotherly days are already here, Y/N,” he snorts, and earns a kick on the shin, but that doesn’t stop him from bursting into snickers.

“Wow, why does one man need 4 mirrors?” You gape at his current green room, mouth wide open. It looks better than your entire apartment, with the counter carrying top-of-the-line makeup products. Only the best for this man. “So you can admire yourself from 4 different angles?”

Jin has disappeared into one of the inner rooms, but you can hear him snort at your comment. “Come on, I’m not that conceited. When the whole crew shoots together, the extra mirrors help.” The last part of that sentence is muffled, and that cues you into an important fact. 

Jin is currently changing into something more comfortable.

A process that includes him getting naked.

Well maybe he doesn’t get fully naked, top on, top off, bottom on, bottom of-

Still. You’re sweating like a whore in church. 

And things only get tougher when he finally comes out. 

The ocean blue sweater he dons is tucked in. Who tucks in sweaters? Kim Seokjin. Why does he tuck sweaters? Oh, because he’s got an amazing waistline that he should most definitely show off, and the heat between your thighs becoming increasingly potent is a testament to that. You pretend to adjust your heels, giving the right expressions to show you’re in pain, but in actuality you are bringing your legs closer to get you some relief, just any relief. 

Ripped jeans too. You get a peek of the thighs you were denied access to the night of the fuckening. Ridged and beautiful, not a speck in sight to mar his perfection. You are glad the facial expressions for pain and pleasure are not far apart, because your thighs, albeit very lacking, are helping the imagery in your head. Just Jin, seated on one of these leather chairs, and you straddling his thigh, clit aching against the strands of the rips in his denim, the fabric soaking up the wetness, with every push forwa-

“Now that you mention it, I do look dashing.”

And there goes that dream. 

You pinch his cheeks in adoration, the vulgarity of your thoughts getting whitewashed by his silliness and blooming heart-shaped flowers in their stance. You feel your own pinch in you, wondering if this scene would be the same had you blurted your feelings out that day at the cafe.

It's times like these when you remind yourself why you choose to quieten that side. This dynamic cannot reincarnate in any other form. Any imbalance to this equilibrium could cause a serious case of best-friends-turn-awkward-acquaintances, and you don’t know if that’ll hurt you more than you currently do. You don’t plan on finding out.

But on God, he tests that resolution every single day.

Jin doesn’t even hint that he knows of the turmoil blasting behind your eyes. He nonchalantly fixes his hair, gives you a one-over as you are mentally undressing him, nonchalantly as well. Then he moves to grab his cologne, and two spurts disintegrates all the whitewashing and takes you back into the obscenities you were unfolding. 

“So I’ll just go over the shoot photos, and then we can leave! You’re cool waiting here?”

“Hmmn, yeah!” You don’t let your mouth run any longer, fearing what might slip out. 

He gives you a wide, innocent smile. “Great! See you in a bit.” Poor guy. If only he knew how debase plans you were conjuring just from the aroma of his cologne. 

It is musky, like cedar or pine, perfectly suiting him. It is the same scent you remember inhaling, face stuffed in his sweater when he was fingering you to the tenth circle of hell. As he walks away, the fragrance diminishes, save for the slightest hint of lingering. You search for the source, and find the culprit strewn across the sofa.

The outfit Jin wore for the shoot held remnants of the perfume, and when you bring the shirt close and take a long, deep whiff, you transport yourself to the land of your dreams. You relish the fever smell of his cologne, mixed with his own natural scent, deciding that this is what you wish to smell like every waking morning.

Your longing for him has crossed way beyond physical boundaries. You longed for his love, longed for his attention. Longed to be the one that brings the light to his face. From morning rays to the darkness of the night, you wanted to experience it all by his side. To be his lone star, shining bright beside the moon. 

Your hands are moving without your control, disrobing you of your thirst trap of a dress and putting on Jin’s shirt instead. One look at the mirror and you let out a silent groan - it fits you just right. Just enough to cover your ass cheeks, loose enough to let the air conditioning hit your heated pussy. While well-fitting shirts have never been the cornerstone of a successful relationship, your delusional mind takes whatever wins it gets.

Adding layers to your pipe dream, you don the robe that gave you a tough time throughout the shoot. When you press the tails of the robe to your cheek, the softness of the material is soothing. Soft, like Jin’s eyes, like his hugs, like his smile. Like him.

Leaning against the counter, you steady yourself, mind split in titillation. Your fingers find their own path, drawing circles on your breasts over his shirt, imagining Jin’s long fingers in place. While teasing your nipple to pointed peaks, you slip your other hand under your panties, trying very hard to mimic his digits, twiddling your clit between your fingers. Alas, the effect isn’t achievable, because Jin seems to know how to play you better than yourself. 

The scent is getting stronger, without any provoking, and it is doing wonders for your immersion. You let out a loud moan when your fingers press inside, and you’re just glad no one can witness this.

“Y-Y/N?”

Fuck.

You are pulled away from your dreamland that was so impenetrable that you didn’t hear Jin step into the room. All the blood gushing to your nether regions has made a U-turn to flood your brain to think of a plausible explanation for this position. Instead it makes you giddy, and when you try to stand you wobble in your heels, to be rescued by what you think is a very scandalized Jin. 

Time stands still when your eyes meet, and what you see are blown out pupils trembling, many questions fluttering between you two. Jin crosses a tenth of the distance between you, lips flutter as they try to make a decision - do they want to part and give way to the voice of question? The voice of reason? The voice that will break this hush, burst this bubble where he has the one chance to give in to his longing?

You bring your lips closer, and cause immense disquiet in his dome, the way of his heart gathering speed against rationale. Your eyes dance between matching his gaze and finding his lips, every fraction of an inch you cross sending tremors through you. You can feel the shockwaves traverse through your body, making a pitstop at your lips, tingling them awake. They move downwards, passing your heart, beating it wildly against its cage, and then to the pit of your stomach to tighten in anticipation; finally reaching the tip of your toes, where you stand right now, a nanoscopic distance between you. Each one of you is afraid to cross the bridge, unaware of the other’s desires. 

Finally, Jin acqueises and meets you on your side. 

Atomic explosions ring through your head, clearing out every single thought that is not about Jin’s lips on yours. The ropes that held your heart from beating to the tune of your want, they’ve loosened their knots to give you the leeway to love freely. As your lips exchange positions, his teeth lightly drag across your plush petal, and it brings back the most important part of that night that you couldn’t recollect - the one where his lips sang wordless songs of adoration against yours. Blind as a bat, you were.

You dig your fingers into his hair, not minding your residual arousal coating his locks, and you feel his hands doing the same to you. With your eyes closed, you feel a rough edge to his cushiony soft lips, but Jin fixes that mistake - one stray strand of hair trapped in the middle of your indulgence - he pulls it away to give you all of the kiss. The hand tucked in your tresses pushes in, silently demanding more access, and you’re nothing but ready to give it.  

His tongue sneaks in to play a game with yours - when you seek it, it goes into hiding, finding perfect pleasure in soft, sweet kisses, but when you stay, it comes back in, awakening your tongue to deepen again. Everything he is doing is too much and not enough in one go, and you whine into his mouth in desperation, seeking some well-earned relief after months of holding back.

Amidst the flurry of your lips, your back hits the vanity countertop, and Jin pushes away everything on top to make space for you, not caring what expensive item flies down the counter to accommodate your ass.

As if you’ve made up for the months of holding back, the softness of the kisses erodes, teeth coming into play more and more, reminiscent of the night that went by in a blur. He swallows every mewl you give in return, blissed out beyond repair, your neediness making his cock strain against the denim. 

His hand snakes down, spreading his fingers to get a hold of your back to push you towards him, covering any gap that dared to intervene. Now unworried about the shoot, your hands have effectively ruined his perfectly placed locks and messed them up to resemble the craze he let you spin in.

Before he can glide his tongue back in, you break the kiss, lest you lose yourself in it to the point where you forget to breathe. With attached foreheads, you take deep drags of air, letting the oxygen flow to your brain before you make some ill-advised, unclarified decisions.

“I- I was jus-”

“Shhh. Wait,” he breathes out, wanting to take a second and fully savor the moment. You nod in return, making his head move along with yours.

After sufficient air fills his lungs, Jin starts. “Y/N, we should stop.”

Last time this had happened, you had tried to force your way through his barrier, without giving his feelings a second of consideration. So this time, you don’t repeat your mistakes. “Tell me why.”

“Because, I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I’m way deeper in this than you think.”

“Jin, I-”

“Let me finish.” He stops you before you can explain how much you reflect his emotions, possibly more. He doesn’t seem to want to listen now. “Let me finish, or else I’ll chicken out, for the millionth time.”

You’re dumbfounded. Millionth time? When was the first? Acting majors, by God. 

“I love you, Y/N.”

No, now you are dumbfounded. Your hands, holding his precious locks, drop down in shock, at sheer disbelief that all this time, he has been ready and waiting to return you the favor. Jin though, misinterprets it as a look of disdain. 

“I-I know I do, and I’m sorry that I do. I know you don’t feel the same way. You can hate me all you want, but this is the truth.”

“And yes,” he continues, refusing to halt for even half a second, afraid that the courage he mustered to confess would dissipate the moment he does, “I’m attracted to you, and I don’t know what went down here --” flicking his wrist to mention your (his) outfit, “--but I’m looking, okay? And I’m hard as fuck. But that’s not all there is to it.”

“I need all of you.” He takes an audible gulp, trying to stymy his emotions from overpowering him. “I want to take you out, I want to hold you hand, I want to bring you to all the places I love. I want to introduce you to people, not as my best friend, but so much more than that. It hurts me,” bringing his hand to his chest, he emphasizes the point of pain by clutching over his heart, “hurts to call you that because I’m lying through my fucking teeth.”

You break eye contact, because there are tears smarting your eyes at his heartfelt revelation. You can’t believe the idiot that you have been all this while. The man of your dreams stands in front of you, baring his soul, and you can’t even do him the decency of telling him what you felt yourself before jumping his bones.

And you love him, too. Maybe you haven’t said so, even to yourself, but you’ve known all this while.

You love him.

“If you are just looking for a fuck, or want any sort of a ‘benefits’ situation, we should stop. I can’t lie to myself anymore.”

“Jin, my God,” you half-sigh, half-laugh, feeling a burden lift off of you after months of pining.

“You don’t have to pacify me, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” Even in this moment, he is looking out for you. His lips are curved upward to show you that he’s okay, but his pupils are shaky and restless, not in sync with his smile. You hope your next words can fix that for him.

“Pacify you? Hate you?” You shoot him an incredulous look, one you will explain to him very soon. “You are a much better person than I am, Jinnie. For months now, I’ve loved you, but even at this point, I didn’t stop to tell you.” The guilt of letting your hormones cloud your judgement for the second time lays heavily on your conscience. “I’m sorry for not making this clear earlier, but let me now. I love you, Kim Seokjin. I have for way too long. I want you, I need you. You have me, in every possible way.”

It feels unparalleled to get that off your chest. The leaden weight of your emotions immediately disappears - or the fact that it's shared, makes it much, much lighter. But then you look at Jin, and he still seems to have not put two and two together. You patiently wait for him to process all the information. 

When he finally recoups, he yells, “What?!”

You let out a loud guffaw, the first one with no inhibitions in the longest time. “What?”

“Why didn’t you say anything that day at the cafe?!” 

“You said you’d never date me, asshole!” You punch his chest softly, before slipping your hands behind him and pulling him closer. “I might not look like it, but I have some dignity.”

“I said that?” Jin brings one hand to pinch his nose in annoyance. “What an idiot. I think I was just inverting everything to make sure I don’t accidentally slip up.”

You lift your head to meet his eyes again, letting him see the tears you were hiding. You find a couple in his eyes, too. But the smile on your face is genuine, and that is all that matters. “I was blind too, so don’t beat yourself up about it.” 

Flitting your eyes down to find the contour of his cock against his jeans, you ask him innocently, “How about we make up for lost time?”

“Fuck, yes, please.” And with that, your lips are engulfed again.

When you have all your guards down, the kiss tastes sweeter than before. Mere moments ago, while thoroughly enjoying the kiss, a sense of reticence had clouded your pleasure, holding you back from luxuriating in the headiness. A series of what-ifs had plagued your subconscious without your realization, but with all that cleared, you wholly submit to the kiss, emptying your mind until nothing but his name remains.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Jin gasps out, when you bite into his pillowy lower lip, “I thought you looked the prettiest in the dress earlier but,” after pulling away, he drinks your current attire in, “you look the most beautiful in this.”

You snicker. “Even more than World Wide Handsome?”

His eyes bore into yours, no hint of the joking lilt he always carries in them. 

“So much more.”

Your hands find their place amidst his shaggy hair again, and you lodge his face into your neck - a command Jin acquiesces to with great pleasure. After a long, wet lick to your collarbone, he lays feather-soft kisses on the trail he left, starting from your shoulder and working inward, until he brushes against the back of your ear. You grasp at his sweater, because his lips feel so good. Your breaths are short, sucking in every time he allows your skin the luxury of a soft peck.  Once he lays a kiss on your forehead, he brings his gaze down to one of the main reasons that causes his cock to stir.

“Fuck, look at your nipples under my shirt.”

Gazing down, you can see the two pointed peaks that caught Jin’s eyes. 

“That tends to happen when I’m thinking of you.” 

He twists a nipple over the shirt, hardening it further, and you throw your head back in the satisfying pain. “Yeah, I remember.”

You are unraveling every second, the ache swishing amongst the bliss his fingers are bringing in you. He’s switched over to drawing circles around your nipple, until he snaps and tugs your shirt up, finally revealing the palmfulls of flesh awaiting his hands. 

“Ah that night, I didn’t get to do this. Take this off.” But then, he makes you put on his robe again. You throw him a questioning look, to which he responds with a sheepish smile, “Just so, you know… you don’t feel cold… or something.”

“Just say you like me in your clothes and move on.”

“I love you in my clothes,” he admits in a heartbeat, his expression that of anguish, “can we move on?”

“God, gladly.”

Unexpectedly, he bites the side of your boob - not hard at all, but feeling his teeth against your skin sends your head reeling backward. Your involuntary response is to wrap your legs around his waist, grinding your core against him. His teeth continue to nip you lightly across the expanse of your breasts, the trail of saliva he leaves cooling parts of your flushed body. Finally, finally, he latches onto your left nipple and gives it a long, pleasurable suck.

“Ahh, Jin - you’re too - God damn it - you’re too good at this.” 

Without stopping the onslaught he is unleashing on your breasts, his fingers begin to move - but soon, they stop, hesitation rippling off of their tips. His pace falters, and his mind is fighting on the next course of action.

“Can I-”

“Finish what you started that night?” you complete for him, already prepared with your answer. “Yes, please.”

All forms of uncertainty shoot out of his touch, and he confidently trudges forward. Playing with the band of your panties, he gives you a well-intended chuckle, murmuring, “As far as I remember, I was so good you passed out.”

“Boy,” You groan, intended in jest, but his teeth slide against your jaw and it mostly comes out more wanton than jovial, “let me see you have tequila for dinner and remember much the next day.”

“Fair fair,” he gives in, shifting to buss the valley of your cleavage, feeling your heart thud against your ribs holding it in place. “Well today,” he starts without moving his face, his nimble fingers moving past the barrier of your underwear, pressing two fingertips directly on your clit, and hissing like it's him at the receiving end, “I’ll give you enough to remember.”

You pull his sweater off and chuck it away, not wanting to be reminded of any blockades that kept you apart, and your hands roam the expanse of his back remembering the touch of his skin from the night at the bar. His body isn’t new to you, but the circumstances make it feel different. 

Finally, his fingers find their way inside you. 

Yes, this. This was what was missing from your drunken tryst. With your heads in place, your ardor intensifies, and you move his lips back to yours needing to release your animalistic desire into his mouth. Pleasure surges through both of you as you threaten to swallow him whole.

You can feel him being more present, and considering the merciless finger-fucking you had earned that night, this is taking it to a whole other degree. 

The night at the bar, his fingers did their best to ravish you, but now, Jin is paying attention, close attention to the way you respond. Every muscle movement is recorded in him as you struggle to accommodate three of his lengthy digits. Leaning close, he gives your peaked nipple the lightest feather lick - the suddenness sends shockwaves through you as he continues to tweeze the other, talented pianist hands performing his musical piece on both ends of you.

His fingers pump into you with determination, finding new depths to explore that he missed out on, and with a curl of his pointer, you blank out, screaming in the orgasm that is washing over you. Every skincell of your body feels the quiver of lust spreading, your cunt squeezing for an eternity, milking the orgasm out to the extent that you can. 

When you look down, your metaphorical orgasmic flood manifestes as a deluge of your arousal leaking on the table. And when you look back up, you can see the salacious ideas making their rounds in Jin’s head as he looks at the inundation you released. 

Hurried hands still convulsing from the intensity of your orgasm, you undo his belt, followed by his jeans and finally - getting the pleasure you were heartlessly denied of - his cock is out, in all its glory, twitching as the cool air hits its naked skin. Jin’s plans don’t go hand in hand with yours though.

“Are we just - holy fucking shit - just, umm, leave that to waste?” he lustfully looks down to your leaking core, and someway, through your hold on his dick, he tries to steer you into his plans.

“I don’t know about that,” you cheekily reply. You have the right idea to satisfy both of you, and get down to the task.

With the flat of your palm, you swipe across the droplets of cum you released, gathering them to transfer them onto his thick length. Jin thrusts into your hand, the wetness jolting him into attention, and he places an arm on your shoulder to steady himself. 

“You’re going to taste yourself?” he asks as you continue your vacillating motion, twisting at the base of his head with the wetness you graciously provided yourself. You give him a nonchalant look, something he is trying to do to you as well. 

“Who said I’m gonna suck you off?”

His look changes, and the one you get in return is cocky, arrogant, downright rude if you were honest. You expected him to play on with your banter, but one raised eyebrow and the lazy smirk he gives, to what he probably thinks is a joke - Zeus could land on earth and not be able to stop you from gobbling his meat. 

Your mouth is filled with his dick even before your knees hit the ground. Jin staggers back, but your suction on his dick is funnily strong enough to pull him back before falling.  You switch positions, having him balance himself against the counter, all while you refuse to leave his cock out. His giggle of endearment has you pouting, but it swells your heart and makes you want to give more, more of anything and everything. With your renewed vigor, you push yourself in until his pubes tickle your nose, and his tip tickles your throat. 

“Your-”, “I-”, “uhh-” 

Every new sentence Jin starts crumbles to your actions. You furrow your brows both in concentration on your blowing skills and trying to decode what he is trying to say. 

Jin takes a large gulp, adamant on making this one a coherent sentence. “You know, I used to imagine this, and in my dreams I used to be very sexy and suave, talking my way throug-oof-” You run your tongue over the tip of his leaking dick, emphasizing the point he is coming to, “Now I can’t even complete sentences here.”

“You being you is super sexy in itself.” And you curve your tongue to match the arch of his cock, letting the incoming saliva pool on it before letting it run down his shaft, dripping down from his balls. Strings of his precum connect to your lips, and you swipe your tongue through them, relishing the salty goodness before going back in for more. 

“Y/N, shit, did you just moan?”

How couldn’t you? The fact that he is horny for you, so much so that rivulets of precum don’t stop drizzling down your throat, has you preening. You hum your assent in response, not willing to let go even for a moment, but Jin pulls you off before you can get a chokehold on the base of his cock again. 

“Never had a woman moan while sucking me off. It’s sexy as fuck,” Jin breathes into your lips as he dives in for a kiss.

Your chest is heaving, catching the breaths you lost when you were down. “Then why’d you stop me?”

“Are you kidding me? I was about to lose it right there.”

“Jinnie, come on,” you break the fragmentary kiss you were sharing, looking into his glassy eyes, “let me feel you come on my tongue.” To emphasize your conviction, you lick his lips, persuading him of the sinful deeds your tongue is capable of doing if he’d just let you.

“Oh man, stop. What’s worse than busting a nut in your mouth? Busting it while you’re kissing me. Making me feel like a teenager.” You erupt into a loud laugh, soon followed by Jin as well. It is so him to joke about this. 

“And babe,” all hints of embarrassment vanishing from his tone, “I’m only going to come inside you.”

“Fuck, fuck, yes. You got a condom on you?”

“Yeah, let me grab my wallet.” The instant he moves away, you feel naked, shivering from the comfort stolen away from you. But then you hear Jin grumble, “I hope I don’t have the bacon-flavored one.” And the absurdity of it all puts you at ease again.

“Ew, stop, even you can’t make that sexy. My lady boner is dying.”

He envelops you again, and you can feel the laughter echoing in his lungs before making it out to your ears. He brings your attention to the familiar rustle of foil wrapper. “Thankfully, we got chocolate.”

“Mmmh, gotta love chocolate.”

You take the condom out of his hands, and roll it onto his stiff length, flattered that he’s holding his erection for so long. 

“Okay, stick it in me!” And you smack your ass in readiness, and a very flabbergasted Jin breaks out chortling.

“Y/N, stop being my best friend for like, five minutes!” His brows are furrowed in pretense exasperation, but you can see his lips holding back a genuine smile through the grimace, just happy that your dynamics haven’t changed the slightest, even though everything else has shifted.

“Okay okay,” you try and suppress your own laughter, before continuing, “how do you want me, baby?”

“Bend over on the vanity. And keep your eyes on the mirror.” And as you move into position, his palms grab your ass and squeeze it hard, feeling your glutes push back against his grip, and he pushes you forward till you're on the tips of your toes. You watch him through the mirror, watch him admire the way your ass curves over the table edge, how your toes struggle to keep you up, and how the dimples of your back are deepened by the arch, peeking under the bunched up robe tails, just waiting for him.

“Jin.” Your hushed whisper puts him in action.

Pushing the head in is anguish and relief at the same time. His bulbous head stretches your entrance; even with your preparation, you feel it sting. The searing gets better and better with every inch slipping in, and when he finally lodges inside, you let out a heavy breath, still panting and keeping yourself from screaming bloody murder in pleasure. Jin bends forward to paint the back of your neck, sucking the flesh till the circular bruise comes to surface. 

“Can you- can you-fuck, no, wait-” Your brain is at war with itself, battling between adjusting to his girth and having him pump you into adjustment. 

You can feel Jin’s snicker from behind you, and he finally makes the decision for you. “I’ll wait, I have things to do here,” he says before playing around the patch of skin, spreading from the base of your hair to the expanse of your back, his teasing licks relaxing your walls and accommodating his girth. The pain is almost gone, expect for the lingering ache that only helps you.

“You can move now, babe.”

“Okay, okay.” Your words snap him out of the painter’s dream he was in, and he twitches inside you. Something about the ease at which you both have adopted nicknames for each other softens his heart and hardens his cock. 

Pulling out till only the head rests inside, Jin himself struggles against the third degree grip your pussy has on him. As he is thrusting inside again, your walls tense up, making it harder and harder for him to hold back. 

“Y/N, sweetie, relax. I got you.”

“Jin, I’m-” You have tears running down your eyes, the pleasure and unsurmountable happiness rolling out in fat hot drops. “Fuck me harder. I won’t last.”

“Shit. Okay, hold on then.”

To what? Is what you’re going to ask before Jin unleashes his carnality onto you. Your breasts, dripping in sweat and saliva, are plastered to the countertop, which in itself is jiggling to the beat of Jin’s thrusts. His dick is curving inside to hit you repeatedly, and you have to gather the satin fabric to wipe your eyes to keep your gaze fixed on him. 

He looks majestic. Forehead embellished with beads of sweat, his hair coiffed up, lips sanguine red after your vicious kisses - you swipe your tongue along your own lips to find them battered in response. His honey chest is heaving with every push, and a particular one hits you just right. 

You let out a guttural groan, and Jin takes note of it immediately. 

“Up,” he commands, and loops an arm under your belly to you pull you up and closer and now every thrust hits deeper into that spot he has found in you, your back connected to his chest as the two of you move in tandem; this is the most together you’ve ever felt with anyone. This moment is to be etched in your memories forever.

You scream into your fist to muffle the sounds, the edge of the table digging into your hip bone as you feel yourself getting closer to the brink. One swipe to the clit is all you have left to bring you to your release. 

And from some telepathic force, or from the clutch your pussy has on him, Jin beats you to it. His fingers come down and carefully find your swollen nub, pinching it between his fingers. If he thought you’d shown him your hardest clench, he was wrong, because right now your dam has broken, and the iron-clad grip you give his cock sends him reeling, too.

You are gushing on his dick, the rubber dripping with your wetness. Jin too releases into the condom in stuttered gasps, his thrusts becoming shorter and shallower as he comes down from his high. 

Petal-like kisses fall on your back as the two of you regain your breaths. The mirror that served you two well is covered in a fog of hot breath and perspiration, blearing your vision of yourself, but somehow, it sparkles with Jin’s reflection. His nobility-esque visuals use the haze as a valance for his appearance, framing them to make him look like you’re among the clouds. And in some way, you actually are.

“Ah, let me go.” You jiggle your shoulders back to make the man above you move. “Fuck, can you check if my spine is in place? I think you dislodged it.”

“Shut up and come hug me, I’ll squeeze it back in place.”

Now this is something you could get used to.

As he ties and throws away the used condom, you flip over to face him and fall back into his embrace, broad shoulders promising to protect you, making you feel safe in his care. Jin on the other hand is simply ecstatic to feel you on him, feeling your thumping heart beat for him, after months of pining and pondering whether anything would become of the seed of your tumultuous friendship. Now, it has blossomed to a garden of prospect and promise, every petal of every flower here reading a new opportunity to tell you how much he adores you, cherishes you, treasures you. How much he loves you.  An opportunity he doesn’t wait to use. 

“I love you.”

The pink tinge of your cheeks either comes from the sex, or from his comment, but either way, he is glad its from him. 

“I love you too, Jin. So, so very much.”

If your heart could leap out of your chest, it would do so, to find its way to his and fuse into one. But for now, your entwined bodies give you all you want. 

You hear Jin stifle a laugh, and pull back in question. He points to something odd on the countertop.

“What is that?”

The cream white surface of the table, that was maligned by your ignoble deeds, now sports two glistening, wheatish semi circles that look very similar to the sizes of one person who was splayed on top of it just moments ago. 

“Is that…” Jin is trying to contort his lips and halt the looming snicker, and he brings his eyes down to your chest (trying not to get hard again), “Did you have makeup on your chest?”

“Shut up.” All you can do is fall closer into his arms, hopefully masking the tint of embarrassment highlighting the apples of your cheeks. “I wanted to make them look extra good for you.”

He’s given up on holding back, the full-bellied laugh that resonated from him echoing across the room. But it dwindles down fast, coming to small chuckles of tenderness, and he slips his digits beneath your chin to have you meet his gaze.

“They always look good,” he whispers, his admittance setting your chest aflame, “trust me, I’d know.”

Taglist 💛:  @little7bitchh​, @afangirllikeme-blog​, @h34rt1lly, @marpotterhead​

Thank you so much for making it to the end! I hope you enjoyed the fic, my ask box is always open for your lovely opinions. To read more of my work, find my main masterlist here. :)

[crysalita]

Left Behind

Bo Sinclair x Reader

Word Count: 2439

Warnings: Suicide mentioned when Bo is telling the story about Trudy.

I had to admit that I never actually wanted to be here, on a road trip that is, but somehow I had managed to find myself getting an invite from Carly, who claimed there needed to be more girls. I reluctantly agreed to tag along, and so far I was regretting that poorly made decision.

I was a third wheel as I lagged behind Carly and Wade. I felt as if all I had done so far since we arrived in this town was either roll my eyes or sigh at their constant flirting. If I had of known that this is what my day was going to consist of then I would have said no in a heartbeat.

The small town we had arrived in gave me strange vibes, whether it was because the town was oddly empty even though we could hear chatter, or whether it was because of the two men that we had come across.

Bo, the man that works at the gas station, spent most of the time eyeing me down after the run in at the church, I didn’t know how to feel about it.

“So, Y/n. What did you think about Bo? He seems to have taken quite an interest in you.” Carly teased, nudging my shoulder.

We were in the gas station looking for whatever part that Wade needed.

“Don’t be stupid, he was just being friendly.” I scowled.

“Coming from a guys perspective, he definitely finds you hot.” Wade spoke up.

I sent him a glare. “Just look for that part.”

“He’s got everything, but a 15 inch. I’ll just have to use a 16 inch.” Wade grabbed a hold of the strap that he needed, but we were startled when we heard another voice.

“Are you planning on stealing that?” When I turned around, I was met with Bo leaning against the door frame, still in his suit and tie. I had to admit that the suit did look good on him.

“No, we just didn’t know how much longer you were gonna be, and you know, we didn’t wanna interrupt again.” Wade rushed out. “But I left you some money on the counter, but you don’t even really have the right size. You don’t have any 15 inches.”

“I do at the house.” Bo replied, not looking in the slightest bit like he was convinced by Wade’s constant stuttering, I couldn’t blame him though, Wade made us look more suspicious than we actually were.

“Look, I hope you’re not getting the wrong idea that we’re in here.” Carly attempted to ease the tension.

“Yeah, we already feel bad enough after interrupting the first time, we just didn’t want to do it again.” I smiled politely. In return, Bo sent me one of his own smiles and gestured for us to come out of the shed.

“No worries. That was in the past. We can move on from that.” Bo replied as he held the door open for us.

“You keep fan belts at your house?” Wade asked.

“I get things delivered there when I’m not here. Look, if you want to hold onto the 16, that’s fine by me.” Bo was looking more agitated by the minute.

“No, it’s okay.”

Bo led us outside of the gas station and we began our journey to the house that Bo lived at. My legs were already tired enough as it was from all the walking we had done, and I honestly wasn’t trying to do anymore.

“So, is it too late to sign Carly up for that beauty pageant?” Wade asked with a smirk on his face.

“Now unfortunately it is, well at least for you-” Bo turned and nodded in my direction. “-Because you have won, hands down.” I blushed slightly at his comment but shook it off quickly as I looked away.

“Thank you.” I mumbled. My gaze landed on Carly who was giving me a smug smile to which I rolled my eyes at.

“That house of Wax is pretty cool.” Wade changed the subject. This caught Bo’s attention.

“You went inside?”

“Yeah, it was unlocked.”

“I did try to tell them they shouldn’t, but they both happen to be very stubborn.” I didn’t dare step foot into the House of Wax. Knowing myself I would probably end up ruining the art in there, and I would never forgive myself if I destroyed someone’s art that they, more than likely, spent hours trying to create. I did manage to get quick look inside when Carly and Wade entered, and it truly was amazing.

“Everything seems to be unlocked ‘round here, don’t it? Thank you for having respect.” I was rewarded with another one of his smiles that really did compliment his face, although he did use quite an odd choice of words as it made him seem all the creepier.

I shared a look between the other two, who were also very creeped out.

“I did get a look inside though, when they opened the door that is, and the wax sculptures are amazing.” I complimented. I was a bit bummed out that I couldn’t see the artwork up close to see their full detail, but my conscious got to the best of me and now I was glad that I didn’t go in.

“Yeah, people used to come and see it from miles away. Trudy was the main artist.” I could imagine the amount of people that I wanted to see it, but for some reason there wasn’t any.

“What about Vincent?” Carly questioned. “I saw his name on a lot of the work.”

“One of Trudy’s boys.”

“That family must be very talented. Are any of them still around? I would love to meet them, and maybe they could help me out with some of my own art.” I commented.

“Oh- no. It’s a horrible story. Trudy’s husband, Doctor Sinclair, he was a doctor. He got his licence revoked for doing surgery’s on the side, you know, stuff that most doctors wouldn’t do. So, he moved him and Trudy out here to Ambrose, made a fresh start in medical practise and Trudy found her calm with the whole wax sculpture thing.” Bo explained as we walked past the House of Wax. “It was her dream to do something incredible here. Then she had a couple of kids-”

“What’s so horrible about that?”

“Trudy got a cyst in her brain, she just started rottin’ away.” My eyes widened as Bo continued the story. It was really starting to take a dark turn. “Couldn’t work no more, she went crazy, and it got so bad, that Doctor Sinclair had to strap her up to the bed. The whole town could hear her screaming from the house. And Doctor Sinclair was so depressed that he couldn’t save her he-” Bo creates a gun with his fingers and pretends to shoot himself in the head. “Blew his head right off.”

“That’s horrible.” I mumbled.

By now we were approaching the last house on the road, meaning this was where Bo was staying. The sky was getting darker and darker by the minute, making the situation all the more terrifying.

“Hey, uh, why don’t you three hop in, and I’ll go get that fanbelt for ya’” Bo opened the door to his car and gestured for us to hop in.

“No, we actually have some friends picking us up where the roads washed out.” Carly interrupted.

“I’ll give ya’ a lift there. It’s the least I could do then for making ya’ll wait.” Carly and I both turned to Wade who was nodding his head.

“Could I use the toilet?” I asked Bo as Carly hopped into the car.

“Yeah, of course. You said you need to use the can too, didn’t ya?” Bo faced Wade. He then proceeded to ask Carly the same question before he led us into his house.

The house was nothing less than what I expected, not that I expected much. To no surprise, it was quite messy, but I couldn’t hold that against Bo, as he most likely wasn’t expecting guests.

“So, where ya’ headed too anyway?”

“Uh, where just headed to a football game.” Wade answered.

“Bathrooms just down the hall. Let me get out of this jacket and tie, and I’ll get the fanbelt. I have another bathroom upstairs for ya’ to use.” I followed Bo up the stairs as Wade walked down the hall. I began feeling nervous as now I was left alone. “You interested in football?” Bo cocked his head to the side as he looked at me. I found myself staring a little longer than I should have, which Bo took notice of too, as his lips twitched up into a sly smirk.

“No, not really. Just here for Carly.” Bo nodded his head along with what I was saying before he popped another question, a very unexpected question.

“I take it ya’ single than?”

“What makes you think that?” I stammered.

“Well, considering those two are tied to the hip, that would most likely mean that if ya’ were seeing someone, then they’d be 'ere too.” Bo explained as he shrugged off his jacket. “And if it were me, I wouldn’t let ya’ out of my sight. Especially in a town I’ve never been in.” Bo opened a door that revealed to be the second bathroom he owned. I walked in and closed the door and instantly let out a breath I didn’t realise I was holding.

This man was making me feel all kinds of things, and I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

I did my business and exited the bathroom to see Bo waiting outside, this time he was dressed in casual clothing, and no longer rocked a suit and tie. I had to admit that this man could certainly pull off both looks.

“Did you need help getting anything? I don’t mind helping.” I offered.

“That would be nice, thank you.” I followed behind Bo, who led us into the garage that was covered in tools and what I could only assume was car parts.

“Is it always this quiet in town?” I watched as Bo gathered some things and placed them in crate he had. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I waited where he had placed down the crate.

“Depends on the day, I guess. Sometimes it can be noisy, believe or not, and some days it’s dead silent. Today just so happens to be one of those days.” Bo mumbled.

All of a sudden the lights were cut off and everything went pitch black. I immediately put my arms out to reach for something to grab a hold of. “Bo?” I held my hand out in the direction of where Bo was last stood. “Bo? Where are you?” I felt his hand come in contact with my own.

“I’m right here, sweets.” I was thankful the lights were off so Bo couldn’t see the blush spread out across my burning face. “I don’t know what happened.” The sound of metal hitting the ground echoed throughout the garage, and then I heard the sound of the horn from outside.

“They must be waiting for us.” I muttered to no one in particular. The lights then turned on and I found myself extremely close to Bo as his chest was almost plastered to my back. “Sorry about that. That was childish.” I apologised I pulled myself away from Bo.

“Nothing to be sorry for. Ya’ get a little scared of the dark, nothing to be ashamed of.” Bo picked up the crate of tools. “I’m going to take this stuff out to the truck. Would you mind finding the wrench for me? It should be in one of the drawers over there.” Bo nodded his head in the direction of where the cupboard filled with drawers were before he exited the garage.

Everything felt scarier now that I was alone and everything around me was silent. I could hear my own breathing with how silent it was, and I hated it.

I searched through the different drawers before I found the wrench that I was looking for.

I began hearing shouting from outside and I quickly made my way outside, only to find the truck driving away and Bo standing outside, the tools scattered across the ground. “Bo, what happened?” I slowly approached Bo who was seething with anger, that was until he turned around to me. His face relaxed as he locked eyes with my own.

“Your little friends just decided to drive off with my truck. I guess they forgot that there was a third one with them.” My mood dulled at his words. How could they just leave me like that? “Hey, don’t let them get ya’ down. You don’t need 'em. Especially after the way they’ve acted today.” That didn’t change the fact that someone that I considered to be my best friend, had just left me behind to run off with her boyfriend, did I ever really mean anything to her. “Listen, I have another truck at the station, if ya’ like, we could walk down tomorrow morning and I could drive ya’ where you need to go.”

“That’d be great. Thanks.” Bo walked back inside, forgetting about the tools that were lying all around.

“You can sleep on the couch for tonight. I’ll get ya’ some blankets to keep ya’ warm. Did ya’ want something to eat?” Bo yelled out as he walked up the stairs.

“I’m good.” I called back. I sat down on the couch and stared off into nothing, this day was going horrible. I sighed as I placed my head into my hands and tiredly rubbed my eyes.

“Hey, ya’ know. I’d love to see ya’ some more. I wasn’t lying when I said ya’ were pretty. Definitely caught my eye.” Bo placed down the blankets on the end of the couch as he sat down beside me.

I found myself blushing for what felt like the millionth time today. “Really? I’d like to see you more too.” I whispered, looking everywhere but the man beside me.

Bo placed his finger on my chin and guided me to look in his direction. “Look at me when ya’ speak. I want to see ya’.”

Before I knew it, we had spent what felt like hours talking on that couch before I eventually got tired and fell asleep, and that was definitely the only good part about my day, getting to talk to Bo.

[honeymooneyy]

my sirius

summary: sirius loses his memories due to a potion mishap and james fails to tell him that he’s been dating remus for two years 

Sirius had never really been good at potions. 

He wasn’t one to follow the directions, and that reflected in his potion-making skills. He liked to make changes to the recipe, despite his lack of skills to make executive decisions like that. 

So when he had been brewing a particularly tricky potion with James - one that renders the drinker void of any memories for an hour, he probably shouldn’t have tweaked the recipe. 

But as Sirius stared down at the murky green goop, he wished for some pizazz. So he took matters into his own hands. A funky potion like this should look a lot cooler, he decided. Granted, it probably wasn’t a good decision to add that mystery white powder in the back of the cupboard. 

The second it touched the surface of his potion, it erupted out and onto Sirius. What happened next, was utter chaos. 

Slughorn was screaming at James to scourgify the cauldron, which he did with a shaky wave of his wand. Remus and Peter were on the floor in a fit of laughter, much like the rest of the class - even Snape was smiling. And Sirius, well poor Sirius wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. Or who he was. 

He turned to the tan boy next to him, who’s dark eyes were locked on his, worry evident in them. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Sirius?” 

Serious?

“What?” Was the only reply he could muster. What was happening? What was serious? Who was this boy, and why did he look so concerned? 

“Did you, y’know, get any in your mouth?” The boy questioned, tilting his head a bit. His glasses reflected a bit when he did so, no longer allowed him to see his eyes. 

“Who are you?”

James deflated, turning to the man who was quivering in the corner. “Professor?” 

“It’s all fine,” The supposed Professor announced, holding his hands up. “I have  a couple counteractive potions. James, son, what did he put in there?” 

“Er, I’m not sure, I didn’t see.” The boy, James, turns back to their cauldron before reaching for a small bottle of white powder. “I think it was this.” 

The Professor squints at the bottle before sighing. “I’m not entirely sure what that was. We could try all three of the counter acting potions? They don’t mess with one another, and I’m sure one of them will work. Alright, I think we’ve had enough of this, class dismissed early, James stay here with Sirius. Please clean up properly!” 

The class began to put their materials away, whispering different cleaning spells as to not disturb the silence that had descended upon the class. Sirius assumed his name must be Sirius and James must not have been speaking of the emotion earlier. He stood at the small table with the dark cauldron, awkwardly shifting his weight as the Professor sifted through his drawers. 

In the end, he pulled out three small vials and handed them to James who brought them to Sirius. He flashed him a bright grin. “Drink up!” 

Sirius didn’t ask very many questions, though he felt as if he was bursting with them. He simply tilted his head back to swallow the liquids back, one after the other, cringing at the taste of the last one. 

James and the Professor continued to stare at him and Sirius stared back.

“What’s my name?” The Professor questioned after a moment of silence. 

“I don’t- I don’t know, sorry,” Sirius apologized, his ears burning as he shrunk under their inquisitive gazes. 

James sighed but the Professor didn’t seem to put off. “No worries, Black. I’ll take a look at that powder and I should have an antidote whipped up soon enough. Besides, if too much didn’t go wrong with your potion, you should get your memories back within the hour. James, why don’t you take him down to the medical wing to wait?” 

He must’ve messed up the potion because an hour later, he was still unknowing to who he was. 

James had filled him in on where he was - Hogwarts - and who he was - Sirius Black - but hadn’t given him too much information. He had assured that he’d get his memories back soon enough so there was no point. But the outcome was starting to look pretty bleak and soon enough, the nice nurse lady was sending Sirius away with James seeing as nothing could be done. 

“It’ll be fine, Sirius, Slughorn will get you back to normal soon enough. I reckon you’ll remember everything by tomorrow, no worries. And Remus and Peter will love this!” James seemed extremely enthusiastic, despite the fact that his best friend had no memories. 

“Does this sort of thing happen often?” Sirius was barely keeping up with James’ quick pace as he tried to absorb the castle he seemed to be in. 

“Losing your memories? Not to any of us, but I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet. We’re always getting into trouble. We’re kinda known for our pranks.” 

James seemed pretty proud and Sirius smiled at the thought of pranks. 

“Anyway, we’re in Gryffindor. There’s four houses, but I don’t think you need to know the others, right now. The password is Ficklepuffs, don’t forget that or else you can’t get in.” 

Sirius nodded, mouthing the word and hoping he’ll be able to remember it. 

“Okay, let’s not stay in the common room too long. Better if you don’t have to deal with all the questions. Let’s go to our dorm room. We share it with Remus and Peter.” 

Sirius followed him up the stairs wordlessly, ignoring the stares from the others in the common room. James pushed a door open and Sirius stepped into the warm room, his eyes flitting around before finding a boy sitting on one of the four beds

The blonde one looked up at him before directing his gaze towards James. “Is he all fixed up yet?” 

James grimaced a bit, “No, we’re waiting for Slughorn to make an antidote. Poppy told us to bring him up here and make him comfortable until the potions wears off or whenever Slughorn makes the antidote. Whichever happens first.” 

Sirius just stood in the center of the room, unsure what exactly he was supposed to do. All four of the beds looked exactly the same, and though James had taken the bed next to the blonde boy’s bed, the other two seemed too similar. James must’ve noticed his discomfort because he nodded his head towards one of the beds before speaking to the other boy in hushed tones. 

The bed was large with thick curtains around it, probably for privacy. The bed was made neatly and Sirius felt bad as he settled on top, wrinkling the sheets. On the bedside table was a book or two that seemed pretty untouched, and a dog toy? 

“Hey, Sirius!” The blonde boy waved to get his attention. “I’m Peter.” 

“Hi Peter.” Sirius waved back only for the other boys’ jaw to drop open as he shot James a look. 

“He can talk?”

“Of course he can talk, you dolt. He lost his memories not his knowledge. I bet he can still do maths and stuff. He just doesn’t know how he learned it, I think.” James turned to Sirius with a thoughtful look. “What’s four plus four?” 

“Eight,” Sirius replied immediately, much to his surprise. 

“See! You know how you learned that? Who taught you?” 

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. “No, not really.” 

James gave Peter a knowing look. “See. James is always right, that’s why we don’t question James.” 

“Oh quit it with the third person.” Peter rolled his eyes though his lips were quirked up a bit in a smile. 

James continued to speak in third person and Sirius watched the banter with a small smile. Eventually Peter shoved James away, speaking of some essay he needed to finish, so James came over to bother him. 

“I know you don’t really remember me, but we’ve been best mates since first year. That’s when we were elven.” James fills him in, perching on the edge of his bed. 

“And now we’re...?” 

“Seventeen. Er, well you are. Your birthday was about a month ago, November third. Remus and I are still sixteen.”

Sirius nods, soaking in this information. “And we’ve been dorm mates since then?” 

“Yep! Actually, you live with me now. But don’t worry about that, you’ll get your memories back soon enough,” James reassured though Sirius didn’t fully believe him. 

His thoughts were broken by the door slamming open as another boy stalked in. He was muttering angrily and when he saw the Peter, he turned toward him. “My blasted book was on the other side of the school! This is what I get for trying to study for Charms!” 

Sirius just watched, mouth agape, because he had never seen someone this attractive. He knew he hasn’t seen very many people in the past hour, his only memories, but he’s sure no one else could compare. Though his side profile is all Sirius can see at the moment, he still marvels at his golden brown hair and the flutter of freckles splattering his face. His cheeks are flushed pink, probably from his journey to the other side of the school, and matched his lips that were moving rapidly as he complains. 

And then he seems to realize that Sirius is there because he turns to him, and Sirius squirmed under the intensity of his amber eyes. “Did Slughorn’s antidote work?” 

Sirius can barely manage a shake of his head. 

This seems to upset the boy further because he groans and falls back onto his bed, hands dragging down his face. Sirius can’t help but follow his actions as his jumper hitches up to reveal a patch of pale skin. A jagged scar peaks out from under it, and though it’s faded to a silvery white, Sirius internally flinches at the thought of how it felt. 

Though James was still on his bed, he couldn’t help but continue to sneak glances at Remus. Something about him, and his presence, seemed comforting. But he seemed in distress and Sirius wanted to offer that same comfort he found.

“If he’s Peter, you’re Remus, right?” Sirius can tell Remus is upset and maybe he just wanted to talk to his friend? While Sirius isn’t really Sirius, he can try. And then he stupidly introduces himself, “I’m Sirius.” 

“I know,” Remus replies flatly, still stretched out on his bed. “And you’re the biggest idiot I know.” 

Sirius cringes back, regretting the choice to open his mouth. He glances at James who just waves it off. 

“He’s not mad, it’s just Remus.” James leans back as he stretches his leg out to prod Remus with a toe, then squealing when Remus grabbed said toe and yanked him so he almost slid off the bed. “Oi!” 

Sirius waited for him to get situated again before leaning in to hiss, “You didn’t tell me I was gay! Or that Remus is so attractive! What the fuck, mate?” 

To his surprise James just laughs, “Oh, right. Sorry, it’s not something I thought I would have to tell you, I dunno, I didn’t think about it. And what? I was supposed to introduce Remus as the hot one?” 

“Yes,” Sirius replied, genuinely. “This is important information!” 

“Right, sorry. But you don’t have to whisper, it’s not really a secret.” 

Sirius narrows his eyes, “Being gay or thinking Remus is attractive?” 

“Both. They go hand in hand, really, if you think about it.” James nods thoughtfully before smiling again reassuringly. “You’ll remember soon enough.” 

“Right. So he knows I think he’s hot?” 

“I would hope so.” 

Sirius frowns at this, “You hope so? What, does everyone know?” 

“Oh, yes.” 

“Wait a minute, what exactly are we?” This time the question is directed to Remus who has been lying on his bed, quiet but no doubt listening in on their conversation. 

Remus turns his head over to look at Sirius, his eyes flickering over his face before a smile is pulling at his lips as he says, “Friends. Since first year.” 

“Yeah, yeah, everything since first year.” Sirius visibly deflates at this information. What was Sirius With Memories doing? How could he bear to be just friends with someone like that? And now he had gone asking dumb questions, no doubt a problem that will soon arise. 

It took a mere couple of seconds before the problem rose. 

James stood up, dusting off his pants in a big show before turning to Peter. “Let’s head down to dinner, yeah? I think it’s better if we leave Sirius back here, Remus, you’ll stay?” 

Remus hummed a reply, now turning to lie on his stomach, burrowing his head into his arms. He looked so cuddly Sirius itched to wiggle into his embrace. 

“Wait! I want to come, I want dinner, I’m hungry.” Sirius stood too but James waved him off. 

“Nah, too many questions. We’ll bring you back some food, Remus too. And Poppy said to make him comfortable so Remus, I dunno, tuck him into bed or something.” James didn’t leave much time to argue, slipping out of the dorm door with Peter close behind him. 

Sirius just stood there, awkwardly, now unsure what to do. He glanced at Remus who still had his head burrowed in his arms, and then at the door, considering just running after James and Peter. Why did he have to say something about Remus being attractive? Even if James was right and Remus already knew, it was so awkward!

“Are you going to change?” Remus asked, pulling Sirius out of his thoughts. His eyes flickered over Sirius’ figure before glancing back at him with a small smile. “You’re covered in that goop. I can clean off your bed, go get changed.” 

Sirius assumed the trunk at the foot of his bed must have his clothes, and much to his luck, he was right. He just reached for some random pants and a shirt before spotting a fuzzy jumper in the corner. He grabbed it too. 

Remus was muttering some sort of spell on the bed and the green patches were slowly disappearing. Throwing him one last glance, Sirius entered the bathroom and quickly changed out of his soiled clothes. Once he was clean, he grimaced at the state of his hair. Thankfully, it had been spared from the potion, for the most part, but was a tangly mess, no doubt from his nervous fiddling. He tried to rake his fingers through it but it didn’t do much so he just returned to the room. 

Remus had cleaned his bed and was on his own now, fidgeting with a comb. When he spotted Sirius his eyes brightened and his smile grew a bit as he waved him over. “C’mere, I’ll fix your hair.” 

Sirius ducked his head bashfully as he approached Remus’ bed before gingerly crawling onto it, sitting down in front of him. He was acutely aware of how close Remus was too him and butterflies erupted in his stomach. Sirius forced himself to sit perfectly still as nimble fingers began carding through his hair, working through the knots. 

“Oh, Sirius, how did this even happen?” Remus murmured, his voice quiet enough that it made Sirius blush. This whole thing felt so intimate and it didn’t help that Remus kept brushing against his back as he fixed his hair. 

“I dunno,” Sirius whispered back.

“S’okay, love, I think I can get the knots out.”

The nickname slipped out so naturally it sounded as if he said it every day, but it didn’t stop Sirius from freezing, his leg pausing in it’s bouncing. Remus must’ve noticed too because his fingers stilled in Sirius’ hair. 

“Shit, I couldn’t even go fifteen minutes, could I?” He tutted, before continuing to work through his hair. “Sorry, Sirius. Your face when I walked in was too priceless, I couldn’t not have some fun with it. I loved your reaction to me saying we’re just friends.” 

Sirius wasn’t completely sure what was happening, but he found his voice. “So we’re not friends?” 

Remus snorted at this, “No. We’ve been dating since fourth year. Almost two years, now, I think.” 

“Oh.” 

Sirius’ head was whirling. He was dating Remus? And the others really didn’t bother saying anything about it? Again, this seemed like important information! Your name is Sirius Black, you’re gay, you have a hot boyfriend...the basics! 

Remus laughed again and ran his comb through Sirius’ now tangle-free hair. “All done.” 

Sirius turned around so he could face Remus who was now settled back down and was leaning against his headboard. “Thank you.” 

“Look at you, so polite. If only Sirius could be like this every day.” Remus shook his head but his words held no venom. “Do you want me to braid it so it doesn’t get tangled again?” 

Sirius didn’t really know what to say to him, seeing as they were boyfriends though he had no memory of this. So he just nodded mutely, turning back around so Remus could braid his hair. He worked in silence and Sirius greatly appreciated it. 

When he was finished he patted Sirius’ shoulder and he turned around again. Remus was watching him with a warm smile and it encouraged him to voice his thoughts, “Do you think Slughorn will we be able to make an antidote?” 

“For you memories? I’m sure he will. He’s pretty talented,” Remus assured, his hands reaching out to brush a couple loose strands out of Sirius’ face. “Don’t worry too much. We’ll work it out tomorrow.” 

Sirius nods but he doesn’t feel very confident in the Professor’s abilities. “This is scary. I don’t know anything or anyone. It’s weird, though, I kind of still have emotions associated with people? So I feel things but I don’t know why.” 

“I’m sure it’s terrifying. But you’re safe with us, I promise you trust us when you’re normal. And for the emotions? It’s probably like muscle memory but with feelings? Can you describe it? Like me for example?” 

Heat crawls onto Sirius’ face and he dropped his gaze to his lap. “You’re warm. Like, my chest feels all warm on the inside. But also kind of swirly, I don’t know. It’s positive, I know that. I cared about you a lot, I think.”

“You did. I care about you a load too.” Remus reaches out to gently link their fingers together. “I was kind of scared about you never remembering me again, but I don’t think Dumbledore would let that happen. He’s the headmaster here.” 

“I wish I could remember you. You seem worth remembering.” 

Remus’ mouth fell open a bit at his words and then he was pulling Sirius into a tight hug, holding him against his chest. “That’s so cheesy but so sweet, oh my god, Sirius.” 

Sirius laughed at this, but wrapped his own arms around Remus, laying his head onto Remus’ chest. The embrace felt so natural he couldn’t help but melt into it, sighing softly. 

And that’s exactly when James and Peter burst through the door, holding plates of food. When James caught sight of them he exclaimed, “Remus! Get away from him! He doesn’t remember anything, poor Sirius! You’re a stranger! He’s a stranger!” 

“He’s not a stranger,” Remus protested, continuing to hold Sirius, chin tucked over the top of his head. “He’s my Sirius.” 

Sirius smiled into his sweater at his words. He quite liked the sound of that - my Sirius. 

[forever-rogue]

Baby Steps (A Good Man)

A/N: Hello my sunshines! I’m back with another little installment of the AGM ‘verse with our favorite Javi and Dulzura! I love them so much and I’m glad y’all do too! I hope you guys enjoy!  As always, comments and feedback are welcome, and if you’d like to be tagged let me know! Xx

*can be read as a standalone or part of the ‘verse as a whole*

Pairing: Professor! Javi x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings: language, pregnant!reader

A GOOD MAN ‘VERSE MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

JAVIER MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Mrs. Peña?” the sound of your name still surprised you, despite the fact that the students had been calling you for several months now. A grin worked its way onto your face as you looked at the young boy who was watching you with wide, eager eyes. Putting your pen down, you motioned for him to continue, “will you come outside and play with us?”

“You want me to hang out with you guys?” you almost laughed at the idea that any kid deemed you worthy of spending time with them, “I thought teachers were lame, Mikey?”

“Some of them, but not all of them! You’re pretty cool,” he smiled and displayed his toothy grin. How were you supposed to say no to him? You nodded and stood up, taking the hand he was holding out to you, “besides we’re playing kickball and we need one more person!!”

“I should have known you were just using me for my exceptional skills,” you pretended to be hurt as he pulled out of the building and into the playground, where the sun was shining brightly. 

Normally, you’d have turned him down, opting to get some work done during the lunch period, but decided you might as well indulge him and yourself. You really enjoyed the kids you had this year, and it was a gorgeous early spring day. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

Turns out, kickball with a bunch of seven and eight year olds was not as simple as it seemed. They seemed to come up with all sorts of nonsense rules, and on top of it all, they happened to be extremely competitive. And yet...you were thoroughly enjoying yourself - and glad you had opted to wear jeans today instead of a skirt or dress. Javi had been particularly fond of the tight, high-waisted jeans that hugged you in all the right places, getting very handsy before you both had to leave for work. Typical Javier; not that you minded of course. 

“Come on, give us a good one, Mrs. P!” Mikey yelled at the top of his small lungs as you proceeded to kick the ball that was rolled at you. You offered up a firm kick, but not one you would have used if you’d been playing with only adults. Taking unfair advantage was something you definitely didn’t want to do.

As soon as your foot made contact with the red rubber ball, you watched it whistle through the air before running to the first base. But...it was over before it started as you ran and then immediately proceeded to trip over your slightly untied shoelaces. You made contact with the hard earth before you knew and rolled your ankle in the process. 

You landed with a mixture of an annoyed sigh and a loud oof as you chided yourself. You should have made sure they were properly tied before doing anything. The kids clambered around you, faces anxious as they tried to make sure you were okay. Physically you were sure you’d be just fine, but mentally your pride was wounded. Oh, to make a fool of yourself in front of a bunch of children. 

“I’m alright,” you promised as you slowly rose to your feet; an instant tinge of pain shot through your ankle and leg as you almost lost your balance again. Maybe you were hurt… “it’s alright - you guys go back to playing and I’m going to go back to the classroom and sit for a moment. I might have twisted my ankle.”

They nodded, but gave you wary looks as you hobbled back inside the building. You should have remained the umpire and refused to play; you were obviously not coordinated enough for any of this. Slumping back in your chair, you rolled up your pant leg and hissed at the sight of the already swollen ankle. Shit.

“You’d better get that checked out,” Anna, one of the teachers from across the hall looked at you with a pained expression, “looks painful.”

“Nothing some rest and elevation won’t fix,” you insisted as you slumped against the back of the chair, “I’m too old for this! When did I become an adult?"

“Hey, at least they think you’re cool,” she huffed playfully, “they never ask me to play! But seriously, that looks pretty bad. And it happened at work, you know how they get about stuff like that.”

“Fineeee,” you groaned, “I’ll go to the school nurse.”

“I would recommend an actual urgent care or ER visit,” she raised an eyebrow, “besides, you know how Javi gets - he'll flay us all if he thought we weren’t looking out for you.”

“He’s...something else.”

“He’s amazing,” she reminded as you nodded in agreement. For how much of a worrywart he could be, you knew it was all out of love, “now go and get it checked out. I’ll handle getting the sub in and telling everyone. You have enough to worry about. Can you make it okay, or will you need a ride? Should I call Javi?”

“I can drive myself,” you promised, thankful it happened to your left foot and not the right, “I’m not going to bother my darling, overprotective husband just yet. Not until I can confirm that nothing is actually wrong. I don’t want him to stress over nothing, and I’m sure by the time he gets home tonight he’ll just be laughing at me and my clumsiness!”

“Alright,” Anna grabbed your purse and handed it to you, as you managed to slink out of the chair, “go get checked out and feel better. If you need anything at all, just call me.”

“Thanks for all of your help,” you hobbled towards the door, trying to keep as much weight off of your foot as possible, as Anna grimaced at you, “I swear it’s not that bad - worse than it looks.”

“Sure, sure,” she disagreed politely, “now quit stalling and go get help!”

»»————-　♡　————-««

The white walls and bright lights of the exam room were enough to rattle your nerves, even if just ever so lightly. You sat on the examination bed and tried to keep yourself calm as you waited for the nurse to come back and begin examining you. Nothing but the distant sounds of people outside and the tick-tock of the aging clock met your ears. You almost wish you’d called Javier just to have some company. Shit.

“Mrs. Peña?” a kind looking woman, maybe around Javier’s age poked her head in as you nodded, “sorry for the wait, we’re pretty busy right now. You’re here for a rolled ankle?”

“Yeah,” you answered as you relaxed at her comforting presence as she came in and sat on her rolling stool, eyes immediately dropping your swollen and irritated ankle, “I was playing with my kids outside - kickball - and then tripped over my own damn feet and ta da!”

“Were you at home when this happened? Playing with your kids?”

“Oh no, I’m a teacher,” you quickly explained, a warm flush rising up your cheeks at the thought of children, “it was on their lunch break at school. I-I don’t have any children of my own.”

You weren’t sure why you felt the need to offer up a clarifying statement.

“I see,” she made a few notes before turning back to you, “it looks pretty bad, to be quite frank. I’m going to assume it wasn’t a break, a sprain rather, from how you’re managing, but we’ll need to do some x-rays to confirm. We’ll do your blood work as well just to make sure everything is in order. Before we do x-rays or anything - are you pregnant?”

“No,” you admitted, looking at your feet as you tried not to sigh. It had been on your mind recently, and you weren’t sure quite what to make of your own feelings on the matter. While you hadn't been actively trying, you couldn't help but wonder if it would ever happen.

“Any chance you could be?” 

“Umm,” you twiddled your thumbs as you shrugged your shoulders, “I-I suppose. I’m not on birth control and my husband and I don’t use protection...we’ve been trying but not trying if that makes sense? But my cycle’s been regular so I highly doubt it.”

“Okay,” the scratching of her pen on paper was almost maddening as she was making notes and you just sat there. You could curse yourself for babbling on to her, but you couldn’t really help it. Besides, it’d be better for them to know all the details if they were going to x-ray and poke and prod you, “very good. Let me just go get everything and we’ll get started and a better look at everything. We’ll have you set and on your way in no time.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Here you go,” you scratched Stevie’s ears as you offered him a treat, a scrap of carrot from the vegetables you were chopping up for dinner, “what do you think, buddy? Should we tell him tonight?”

“Should we tell who and what tonight?” Javi’s voice startled you so much that you almost dropped your knife. You hadn’t even heard him come in, ever the sneaky DEA agent as he walked into the kitchen. A smile was on his face as he came over to you and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, “hi baby.”

“J-Javi,” you couldn’t help but melt into his touch, despite his surprise arrival, “you’re home!”

“Oh very observant of you, Dulzura,” he teased as he pulled back and started to undo his tie. It was only then that he noticed you weren’t wearing what you had earlier in the day; you were in one of his sweaters and a pair of joggers and… “what the hell happened to your ankle?!”

There it was  - Javier switching into overdrive. You put everything down on the counter and turned to him, putting on your most innocent and sheepish expression. His large, warm hands found your face as he looked you over to make sure you were okay. 

“It’s nothing, Javi,” you promised him, “I swear it. It’s just a bad sprain, but I went and had it looked at and they wrapped it and gave me pain killers. It’s umm...a stupid little story actually…”

“What happened?” he bent down and reached out to tentatively and delicately cheek the binding to make sure the nurse had properly tended to your sprain. He made a small sound of disgruntled satisfaction before standing up and waiting for a proper explanation, “why didn’t you call me?”

“I didn’t want to worry you, Javier,” you promised as he crossed his arms over his broad but acquiesced with a nod, “you’re so busy, and honestly, it wasn’t a big deal at all. Besides, Anna was ready to call you immediately, but I told her not to worry. All that happened was that I was outside with the kids and we were playing kickball and I tried over my laces, fell, and twisted my ankle. It hurts, but no fracture or anything.”

Javier’s lips twitched as he tried not to laugh, his shoulders shaking with effort as he just studied you, “are you....are you serious, Dulzura?”

“Don’t laugh at me!” you pouted as he started laughing at your dismal nod when you confirmed that that was what actually happened, “they thought I was cool and how was I supposed to say no to them!? I’m the cool teacher to them!”

“And look what that got you,” he snickered as you sighed heavily, “I’m sorry - I’m sorry. As long as you’re okay, that’s what matters. Whatever you need, just tell me the word and I’ll make sure you have it. I’ll take good care of you, Dulzura.”

“I know you will...you always do,” your heart raced as you tried to decide whether or not to tell him the rest of your revelations. But then he looked at you with those eyes, those soft brown, gentle eyes, and your heart melted. He gently pulled you into his arms as he kissed you again, chasing after your soft, sweet lips with his own, seemingly never able to get enough of you, “Javier, I love you.”

“I love you too,” you felt him smile against your lips, “what’s brought on your sudden declaration of love, mi alma?”

“I...I’m pregnant,” you blurted it out without even really thinking about it. Javier pulled back as a surprised expression crossed his features. He looked at you, seemingly in a state of shock, before opening and closing his mouth a few times, “Javi?”

“You’re pregnant?” he repeated as you nodded. It took about a moment for everything to finally come full circle as he finally realized what you had said. Immediately, an overwhelming wave of emotion came over you as you felt the back of your eyes start to sting with tears. He grabbed your face and slowly crashed his lips back onto yours and kissed deeply and slowly, “holy shit.”

“I know,” you beamed at him, “they asked before they did x-rays and blood work and then well...they discovered I was pregnant. I had no clue and then they told me and yeah - holy shit."

“That’s amazing,” he said softly, “pregnant....”

“I know,” you breathed him in and ran a hand through his dark curls, “I’m not far along, only like six weeks, so it’s still very early, but yes. We’re finally having a baby, Javier!

“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around and held you in a tight embrace, “I love you so much.”

“You deserve this - everything. You are such a good man, Javier, and I am so honored to call you my husband, and the father of my child,” he almost melted under your praise as you traced along his features before resting your hand on his cheek, “I love you, Javi. I am so excited for this.”

“Me too,” he agreed, “this is everything - you are everything.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

3 months pregnant

“Dulzura?” Javier yawned as he wiped the sleep from his eyes as he got up and found you in the kitchen, peering into the fridge. You were in the mood for...something. You just weren’t sure what that something was. Everything sounded good but nothing seemed to satiate that craving you had deep within, “what are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” you admitted, hoping you hadn’t woken him up by accident, “and I got hungry. I’m sorry if I woke you, my love. Go back to bed, Javier.”

“It’s fine,” he insisted as he shuffled into the kitchen and slowly pried you away from the fridge, “sit down, and let me make you something to eat. What sounds good?”

“Javier,” you did as he asked, padding over to the other side of the counter and taking a seat at the bar. You rested your head on your hands as he stifled a yawn, "honey, go back to bed. You're exhausted and you've got back to back classes tomorrow."

"They start in the late morning," he insisted, with a sleepy nod as you just laughed at him. He was such a stubborn man sometimes it drove you crazy - but you knew it came from a place of love and concern, "don't sleep well without you anyways. 's better when you're there."

"Oh, my sweet husband," he reached into the fridge and pulled out some cheese, butter, and your favorite pickled jalapeños. You watched in curiosity as he went to the bread box and grabbed the fresh loaf of bread you'd purchased earlier at the store, "grilled cheese?"

"Grilled cheese with jalapeños," he corrected, a lazy smile tugged up the corners of his mouth. You made a small sound of musing as you realized it didn't sound too bad at all, "and tomato soup, naturally. How does that sound?"

"Sounds delicious," you grinned eagerly as you leaned in to watch him work. You made a small sound of surprise as your stomach rumbled loudly. Apparently you were hungrier than you had thought, "apparently, my stomach and I agree. I think its your daughter that agrees."

At the mention of your baby, Javier paused and smiled, his eyes flitting to your barely visible bump. Some days he still couldn't believe that you were having a baby. You were his wife. What a wild world it was indeed; years ago he'd never dreamed he would have all of this. The Javier that once existed and refused to believe that there was any light in the world could never have pictured any of this. 

But here you were. Continually proving him wrong. And he loved it all.

"Wait - how do you know we're having a girl?" he asked, suddenly wide awake as he raised an eyebrow at you, "I thought we still need to wait another month or so."

"We do," you grinned at him, "but I just know. I'm sure of it!"

"Well, you do have a fifty-fifty chance of being right…"

"I have a hundred percent chance of being right," you insisted as you reached over the counter and grabbed the jar of pickled jalapeños and fished a few out, and popped them into your mouth, "don't argue with your pregnant wife, Javier Peña. You of all people should know not to cross someone so dangerous."

He snorted with laughter, suddenly feeling much more awake as he sliced up cheese and turned on the stove, "and if we end up having a son?"

"Then we keep having more until we have a daughter and I am proven right," you plastered on a sweet smile, knowing it would wind him up. You'd never really discussed how many children you wanted or planned on having. It was just a sort of...whatever happens happens type thing. But, if you were being honest, you'd probably have given Javier as many children as he wanted. Your husband fell silent as he watched you for a moment before taking the jar away from, "nothing to add? Silence isn't like you, my love."

"We can have as many as you'd like," he promised, "you're the one doing all the hard work. If you're done after one, then it's fine for me. You already amaze me every day."

"Don't make me cry, Javier," your whole body soaked in the warmth and love from his simple words, "its getting really easy at this point, and you're taking advantage!"

"Sorry," he shot you a wink before leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to your lips, "back to business."

"Hmm," you mused quietly, "I thought kissing me was business."

"I thought you were hungry?"

"Fine," you playfully huffed as he carried on cooking, "Javi?"

"Dulzura?"

"I love you," you beamed at him, the little smile that worked its way onto his face take your breath away - as it always had. 

"I love you."

»»————-　♡　————-««

6 months pregnant

A huff escaped your lips as you tried to reach for the socks and underwear that had fallen out of the laundry basket. It was no easy feat when you couldn’t see your own feet anymore. But you were determined to get everything up and off the floor as you walked back towards your bedroom to put away the clean clothes. And you weren’t about to give up and ask for help - not yet anyway.

Instead, you opted to awkwardly lower yourself to the floor in order to blindly grab for the discarded items. But it was no use...this was almost harder. 

“You alright, Dulzura?” Javier came in and found you struggling, cleaning his dirty hands off on a rag. He’d been working outside, getting the garden spruced up as the summer slowly came to an end, “can’t reach?”

“I can,” you stuck your tongue out at him as he huffed with laughter, but motioned for you to go on. Wanting to prove that you were right, and weren’t completely helpless after all. It hadn’t been easy having to give up a lot of the things you used to be able to do with ease as you progressed in your pregnancy. The fact that none of your pants would fit over your belly anymore had been a point of horror for you - it meant you were truly and actually pregnant, you were actually having a baby. You’d always known, but that had been what made it all extremely real. Every day you got closer and closer to your due date, it all became a little more real. Exciting - but terrifying. 

Not being able to see your feet had been another blow. You could hardly get proper shoes on anymore, opting for easy slide ons, which were great for the warmth of summer and didn’t matter since you were on summer break along with your kids. It was almost as though Javier could sense your frustration, and he’d often silently help you with getting your shoes on in the morning. He never said a word, knowing he didn’t have to. He always told you he loved you in so many ways, often without saying it. 

You tried to again, dangling your hand along on the floor as you tried again. After watching you struggle for a moment, Javier came over and grabbed everything in one foul swoop before taking your hand in his and helping you upright. 

“Hey,” you pouted at him as he put the items back into your basket, “I almost had it!”

“I know,” he kissed the tip of your nose, “but I wanted to help. Why can I not help my gorgeous wife?”

“Your very pregnant and easily frustrated wife?” you teased as you started to walk towards the bedroom. He followed after you, swatting at your bum as you squealed in delight, “Javier!”

“Come on, mi alma,” he grinned, “let me help put everything away.”

“If I let you help, you’re just going to take me to bed and then I’ll have to wash the sheets again!”

“I’ve never heard a single complaint from you before,” as you set the basket on the dresser, he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist before settling a hand on your belly and gently rubbing it a few times. He pressed a few kisses to the side of your neck as you tilted your head to give him easier access, “there we go, Dulzura. Just like you like it.”

“You’re the worst,” you teased as you turned your head to kiss him, “you’re lucky I love you. And I’m seemingly always in the mood right now - they really weren’t kidding about pregnancy making you more horny. Although, I’ve never heard a single complaint from you before.”

“And you never will,” he promised, his low in your ear as you tried not to completely let your mind wander too far away, “do you have any plans for this afternoon, Dulzura?”

“N-no,” you  managed to choke out as one of his hands skimmed along the waistband of your leggings. You knew exactly where this was going, and you were loath to stop him, especially as he slowly kept kissing you.

“Good,” he rasped, “because I have plans for you. Been thinking about you all day, especially in these tight leggings. You knew exactly what you were doing, didn’t you honey?”

“Uh huh,” you agreed as his warm hand slipped inside and a shiver ran up your spine, “Javier. Please.”

“Don’t worry, mi alma,” he captured your gasp in a sweet kiss, “I’ll take good care of you.”

The laundry could definitely wait.

»»————-　♡　————-««

9 months pregnant 

It was an early, chilling morning as you sipped on some tea as you sat out in the garden. It was probably too cold to be sitting outside, but you were handled up in blankets and didn't care. 

Christmas was a few weeks away and you enjoyed peeking into the neighbor's yards to see what they all had going on for decorations.

"Are you sure you don't want to come inside?" Javier poked his head out from the sliding screen door, his brow furrowed in concentration, "its freezing! And I have breakfast!"

"I've got blankets and a baby keeping me warm," you reminded him, pointing at your large belly. You were due in a couple of weeks; how time had flown. He jokingly frowned at you, sticking out his tongue. Playfully rolling your eyes, you clambered to your feet and waddled over to him, "fine, hold on you big baby. This is because I want breakfast."

Javier was on his winter break from teaching and you were on maternity leave now and you definitely didn't mind having him around all the time. If you could have always had it this way, you definitely wouldn't have minded.

"I'm just looking out for you," he insisted with a pout as you pressed a kiss to his lips, "I talked to Papà. He's really excited to come in a few weeks - more like excited to meet his grandbaby."

"I'm not complaining at all," you insisted, knowing there would be many sleepless nights and chaotic days ahead of you, "we'll need all the help we can get. Hell, maybe we can convince Steve and Connie to come and visit too…"

"I'm sure we'll have all the help in the world between our families and friends, Dulzura," he promised as he took your hand and pulled you into the warm kitchen, putting a plate of breakfast for you on the counter, "I'm sure we'll get sick of having so many people around."

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see," you took a bite and smiled as Stevie laid by your feet. The whole house was warm and cozy, perfectly decorated for Christmas, with a huge tree and already lots of presents. Javier had really outdone himself this year, seemingly more in the Christmas spirit than you. Honestly, you were feeling a little bit out of it - being so pregnant would do that to you. 

You watched your husband for a few moments, admiring his profile and lazy smile. Gods, you were still so in love with him. He felt you watching him closely, and turned to you, cooking a dark brow, "what's on your mind, mi alma?"

"Nothing much," you shrugged lightly, feeling a flush of warmth was over you at him catching you, "just thinking about how I love you, and how I'm glad you're here with me, that you knocked me up, and yeah. Are you…are you nervous Javi?"

"About the baby?"

"No, about the Astros' odds next season," you snorted as he groaned at your joke, "of course the baby. I'm just...so nervous. Like I feel ready to meet her, but I'm so scared that I'll fuck it up somehow."

"You still think its a girl?"

"Positive," you grinned at him - you'd decided not to find out the sex ahead of time, leaving it a surprise for both of you. You were still convinced it was a girl, Javier was undecided, "we'll find out soon enough!"

"Either way," he brought his plate and sat down next to you, "everything will be alright. You're going to be an amazing mother, Dulzura. You are everything."

"I love you, Javier," you beamed as he gently put a hand on your belly, "I know it'll be alright, but holy shit - I'm so nervous. Its getting so real lately. We're going to be parents."

"Parents," he repeated, "fuck."

"Who would have thought-" you were quickly cut off when you felt the baby flutter round. A small sound of surprise left your lips as you grabbed Javier's hand and placed it on your belly, "she's telling you not to curse."

He was silent for a moment as a smile spread on his features; despite having felt this many times by now, it still continued to surprise him. He couldn't even imagine how it felt for you, "this is...everything."

"I realized I didn't know what to get you for Christmas so I got you a baby instead," you don't know why it came to mind, but as soon as the words left your lips you brought into a fit of laughter - Javier joined in, a brilliant sound that you adored above all.

"Best Christmas present ever," he whispered before leaning in and giving you a gentle kiss - sweet from the syrup and pancakes he had just eaten, "I mean it. I love you both more than you will ever know."

"We love you too," you grinned as he stroked your belly, "I'm glad your class was the only one available and I took it. I'm glad you were a grumpy professor that let me into his office - I was able to work my magic and look where that got us."

He threw his back with laughter, his dark curls shining brilliantly in the light as his eyes crinkled in the corners. You'd never been more glad for subjecting yourself to his class.

"Me too," he whispered as he put a hand on your cheek, "you always were a stubborn thing."

"Some things never change," you stuck your tongue out at him, "I trust your daughter will be the same!"

»»————-　♡　————-««

You were humming to yourself as you shuffled around the kitchen and tried to put together a mid afternoon snack when you felt an odd sensation in your lower belly. It caused you to drop the knife on the counter as you held onto the marble and gritted your teeth. Stevie was at your feet in an instant, looking at you with concern.

"Its okay, buddy," you reassured him as the pain passed. Surely it couldn't have been anything too bad...probably just an end of pregnancy pain. Sighing at your nonsense worry, you reached for the knife again but before you reached it, the pain was back, "never mind, shit shit shit."

Trying to keep yourself calm, you leaned against the counter and tried to even your breathing. Contractions. Of course. You were due in a week and you still hadn't been expecting it.

"Javier?" he was down the hall in the second bedroom that had been converted into the nursery, putting away the final touches of clothing. Before he could respond, you felt an odd sensation followed by liquid running down your legs, "Javier!"

"What's wrong, Dulzura?" he rushed down the hall and back into the kitchen, worry etched onto his features as you stood there in shock and clutched at your belly, "honey-"

"My water broke," you said meekly as you pointed to your wet pants, "and I've had a few contractions - I think the baby's coming."

"Okay," he immediately kicked into gear as he remained cool and calm, despite wanting to panic and worry along with you, "its okay. I'm going to get the hospital bag, we'll get you in the car, Stevie to the neighbor, and then we'll go and have a baby."

"You make it seem so simple," you huffed lightly as you tried to channel his inner calm demeanor, "we'll be okay, right? I-I'm scared…"

"I know, honey," he promised as he kissed the side of your head, "you've done so amazing already, it will all be okay. I'm right here, okay? I'm just going to grab your bag and the dog and we'll go. Ten minutes and we'll be on the way."

"Okay," you agreed as he practically ran down the hall to get your packed bag, "we're going to have a baby, Javi."

"Indeed we are," he agreed with a small smile as he reached for his wallet and keys and stuff for the neighbor to watch Stevie for a few days, "we're having our baby."

Holy shit.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“You’re doing amazing, sweetheart,” Javier praised you as you squeezed his hand after another push. You groaned and gritted your teeth as you glared at him; this was absolute hell, “the baby’s almost there.”

“Shut up, Javier,” you hissed as you got ready for another push, “I am never letting you touch me again! You did this to me.”

“Hey - it was a team effort,” he reminded you in a vain attempt at a joke. Your death glare and the squeezing of his hand said it all, “sorry, Dulzura. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said as you took a deep breath, “but right now, I’m blaming this on you.”

“Fair enough,” he said as you pushed again. He was sure his hand was going to break.

»»————-　♡　————-««

It wasn’t much longer before you were laying back and holding the smallest bundle you could ever imagine in your arms. You were somewhere between crying tears of joy and exhaustion, as you stared at your newborn daughter in awe. Javier was sitting next to you, looking down at her, his own eyes glossy as he gently touched her cheek. She had the darkest eyes and a shock of dark hair, already taking after her father. She had come into the world squealing and crying but had fallen asleep almost as soon as Javier held her. 

“I told you we were having a girl,” you teased him softly, “I was right. Look at her, Javier. That’s our daughter. We made her.”

“You did all the hard work, mi alma,” he whispered as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, “she’s beautiful.”

“Lucia Luna Peña,” you grinned at your husband, “it’s perfect. I love you both more than you could ever know. Javier...you really are everything to me - the best friend, best husband, and now the best father. She’s going to love the hell out of you, just like I do.”

He remained silent for a moment as he looked at the sleeping baby before looking back at you. His whole world was in his arms, and the thought of that alone was enough to overwhelm him with emotion. He’d never thought he wanted this - a “boring” job, a home, a wife, and a baby. 

But here he was. And he had never felt happier, never felt more full of love and life. This was everything. 

“I love you so much, Dulzura - you and Lucia,” he promised as he rested his head on top of yours, “you have given me everything, more than you know. Te quiero con todo.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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