#some stuff is extreme enough for me to go to the er or something like that kidney stone

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Anybody else have an instance where their shoulder was bent weird while doing something and it felt like it was out of place but you could still use it and popped it right back but now it does that same thing every once in awhile and you’re starting to wonder if you dislocated it and healed it wrong?

[helloalycia]

the Clarks [five] // alicia clark

summary: you go on a supply run with Alicia and things don't go to plan, leaving her extremely pissed off at you. It takes a reality check for you to understand why.

warning/s: mentions of the dead, injuries, weapons and violence.

author’s note: and this is the final part! such a fun one to write and i do hope the person who requested it liked it! kinda went overboard but you all know the drill with me by now 😂

one / two / three / four / masterlist / wattpad

After being busied by chores and odd jobs around the stadium and then eating lunch, it was soon time to go on the supply run with the others. Alicia and I met the other two residents by the truck out front and we all made sure we were armed before heading out.

"This strip mall we're heading to should be clear enough, but we haven't had a team check it out in a while, so everyone be on high alert," Alicia warned everyone on the drive over. "Only go after the essentials, if there's any left. Ideally, some more clothes and shoes – stuff like that."

Everybody agreed, a focus in mind, and it was silent the rest of the way. Eventually, we arrived at the abandoned strip mall and Alicia pulled up, the four of us splitting into twos. They took to one side as Alicia and I took to the other.

Unfortunately for me, my thoughts were still on Rick and Alicia earlier, their flirting engraved in my mind and my jealousy still in full throttle. I couldn't help but bring it up.

"So, Madison and I were talking about the new residents earlier," I started, trying to make it sound natural. "Lots of good people joining us, don't you think?"

Alicia hummed as she kept her eyes peeled. "Sure is. It's amazing how big our little community has become."

I nodded in agreement, my grip on my knife tightening. "Yeah. New girl Sally is pretty friendly. Her kid's cute, too."

"Aw, yeah, he's adorable!" Alicia agreed with a smile.

"Yeah... there's Rick, too. What do–" I cleared my throat nervously. "What d'you think of him?"

She thought to herself, distracted by looking into the shop windows. "He's nice enough, I suppose. A bit too flirty for my liking, but nice. Definitely skilled with a knife."

What did that mean? She didn't like his flirty-ness? She did? God's sake, I needed more than that.

"Why? Did he say something?" she asked with confusion, glancing over at me.

I perked up, meeting her confused eyes. "What? No, no. Just wondering. I, er, thought the same."

She began to smile, unsure what I was doing, but nodded. "Right... weirdo."

Thankfully, she got distracted by a small thrift store and nudged me to follow her, and the conversation was dropped. There was lots of options to pick from, since it wasn't looted to the bare bones like other stores were, so we gathered what we could and loaded the truck.

Between that and the few others store, we managed to gather quite a few supplies, odd assortments of things but all that would benefit the stadium in the long run. As we were heading back to the truck, Alicia slowed down to look in the window display of a jewellery store. It looked pretty banged up on the inside, no doubt one of the first places to be looted back when the outbreak began, but Alicia was still intrigued.

"There's probably nothing worthwhile in there," I told her, but she was still up close to the glass, smiling at the rings on display.

"It's still pretty to look at," she pointed out lightheartedly, shooting me a smile before returning her attention to the rings.

Something about how excited she was for the moment made me smile to myself and I couldn't just leave it like this. She clearly wanted it.

"Then what are we waiting for?" I suddenly said, straightening up and going to the door.

There was a couch blocking the doorway, clearly put there by whoever had been here last, but it wasn't going to stop me. I began to lean against it in an attempt to push it out the way.

"Y/N, what are you–? Stop it, what if there's someone in there?" she followed after me, half scolding me and half worried.

"Only one way to find out," I said with a shrug, before finding enough strength to shove the couch forward, and it hit the tiled floor with a loud bang.

"Y/N," Alicia groaned at all the noise, but I ignored her and stepped over the couch to let myself in, before yanking open the other door so she wouldn't have to.

"After you," I said playfully, stepping to the side.

She fixed me with a disapproving stare but walked in, looking around. It was ransacked in there, as expected, but there were a few pieces of jewellery still on the shelves. We took a look around, Alicia warming up once she studied the displays. I could have watched her all day, the beautiful smile on her lips that matched the dazzle in her eyes. Seeing her happy was my favourite thing, as lame as it sounded.

"Okay, maybe you weren't that stupid to come in here," she admitted as we looked around.

"Let's not forget why we came here in the first place," I said with a smile, before leading her to the display window. "This one, right?"

I pulled out the ring from the display, a simple silver band with a gemstone embedded within the the metal. Holding it out to her, I tried to put it on her finger, but it was huge and would have fallen right off if I didn't catch it.

"Well, that was short lived," she said with a sigh, before trying not to laugh as she met my eyes. "Thanks anyway, Y/N. It was a sweet thought."

Unimpressed, I shook my head. "No way. That can't be it." I looked around, before my eyes fell to the stock room in the back. "Aha! There's gotta be more stuff back there. Let me have a look."

"Y/N.”

"Just give me a sec," I told her, before taking the ring with me and heading to the door.

Luckily, it was unlocked and I was able to walk right into a small closet-sized space that had an old, wooden shelf against one wall, full of stock.

"Alicia, I might need you to help me because there's a–" I began to call to her, but I was cut off by intense snarling from my right, and then something grabbed me.

I let out a yelp when I realised it was an infected man, the limited light from the front of the store shining through the door and letting me see his horrendous face. He must have been hiding behind a shelf, too late for me to see, and I struggled against him in the small space.

"Y/N!" I heard Alicia call, but I couldn't reply because if I moved my attention away for even a second, I was sure I'd get bitten.

He was so close to me – hot breath and rancid smell blinding me and burning my nose – that I couldn't find an opening to stab him with the knife in my hand. As I took a swing, he toppled right into me, knocking me backwards and to the floor with a thud. My head took the brunt of it, dazing me momentarily, but the snapping face coming at mine brought me back to reality and I just about managed to grab my knife again, stabbing him in the head before he could do any damage.

A second passed and his snarling ceased and I sighed with relief, feeling dizzy in the head. That's when I heard the creaking coming from my feet, and when I shoved the infected off my body, it was too late. The shelf against the wall suddenly toppled over, everything falling off and hitting the floor around me before the heavy shelf itself landed right on my leg, making me scream at the impact.

"No, no, no, no," Alicia suddenly appeared, taking in the scene, before scrambling for her radio and calling the others. "Guys, I need you at the jewellery store now! Y/N's hurt."

I forced myself to sit up, wincing at the shelf that was trapping my leg, and didn't move another muscle because it was too painful.

"You're such an idiot!" Alicia shouted at me, before kneeling down to grab the shelf. "I told you not to come here!"

As she attempted to lift it, I let out another shout of pain because she wasn't strong enough by herself and it was only making it worse. My leg was definitely broken and I wanted to throw up at how strong the pain was, but I forced my eyes shut and tried to push it away.

"You're so fucking stupid!" she continued to curse me out, but the worry in her voice was obvious. "I told you there'd be infected here!"

As much as I loved a good grilling, my head was still throbbing from before and I was still feeling dizzy, leaning on my arm to steady myself in the spinning room.

Finally, the others turned up and, between the three of them, they managed to lift the shelf up long enough for me to crawl out of it. My leg was definitely fucked though.

Alicia rushed to my side to help me stand, but I was nauseous as soon as I did and couldn't say anything for fear I'd throw up there and then.

"You didn't get bitten, right?" she asked, panicked and checking my face and neck.

I shook my head slowly, leaning my weight against her. "I think I'm gonna pass out, Alicia..."

"Help me get her to the truck," Alicia ordered the others.

After making it back to the truck, just about, we drove back to the stadium speedily, each slight bump making my stomach turn and head throb. Before I knew it, I was in the medbay back at the stadium, being sat upright on a bed and struggling to ease the dizziness.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Nick asked a nurse we had.

A bright light was shone in both my eyes, irritating me, and then the nurse replied, "She's got a mild concussion. Possibly a broken leg. But she'll live."

Nick grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently, and then my moment of peace was ruined when Alicia burst through the door with Madison in tow.

"You fucking fool!" Alicia suddenly snapped at me, glaring ferociously. "You could have died! And for what?! A fucking ring?!"

I winced at every word, her words ringing in my ear.

"She's concussed, Alicia," Nick told her sternly. "You're not helping!"

Alicia clenched her jaw, eyes full of tears, and after glaring at me once more, she left the room, slamming the door behind her. I jumped at the sound, surprised at how angry she was at me. Nick gave me a disapproving look but said nothing, and all I kept thinking was how badly I'd messed up.

After being checked out by the nurse fully and having some medication, I fell asleep with a broken but bandaged leg that I couldn't put weight on for a while. I woke up to Nick by my side, who immediately gave me some water and helped me sit upright.

The look he was giving me wasn't easy to ignore, so after downing my pills, I returned his stare.

"What?"

He blinked. "Y/N, what happened out there? Alicia is pissed."

I sighed, Alicia's angry expression imprinted in my mind. "We were at a jewellery store and I went in the back. There was an infected I didn't see, that's all. It got out of hand, but I handled it."

"Handled it?" he asked with exasperation. "You broke your leg and got a concussion!"

"Only a mild concussion," I corrected, before adding, "and I'm alive, aren't I?"

He shook his head, annoyed. "You have to be careful, you idiot. Your life isn't worth some stupid jewellery. Why were you even in there? We don't need that stuff here."

Feeling bad for worrying him, I said, "Alicia wanted to look and I just– I thought it would be nice, y'know? Make things feel a little normal again."

He sighed, his head in his hands. I frowned slightly, the guilt sinking in.

"Is she still mad? I asked, hoping she'd have cooled off by now.

"Uh-huh."

I chewed on my lip nervously, wondering how I'd get her to forgive me. Nick left to go and get Madison, who wanted to be called in when I'd woken up, and I hoped Alicia would stop by, too. But the blonde turned up alone.

"Madison," I breathed out, still happy to see her, even though she didn't look impressed.

"I'll save you the lecture," she began, taking my hand in hers, "but it was pretty stupid."

"I know," I agreed tiredly. "I'm sorry."

To my relief, she really did save me the lecture, instead squeezing my hand comfortingly.

"Is, er, is Alicia coming?" I asked lamely. "I wanted to apologise to her."

Madison smiled apologetically. "Maybe not so soon, hon. She's really angry."

"Right. I guess that's fair."

I had hoped to see Alicia over the next day when I was kept in the medbay, expecting her to at least visit me, even if it was just to shout at me, but she didn't. It stung a little, but I also felt horrible knowing that I'd pissed her off this much.

When I was finally allowed to leave, with the aid of some crutches, the first place I headed was to Alicia's quarters to pay her a visit. I knocked on nervously, anticipating what could happen, and then the door opened to reveal the Clark girl.

"Hey, remember me?" I joked, hoping to lighten the mood, and she simply rolled her eyes, about to close the door in my face.

"Wait!" I said, sticking my crutch in the way, and she stopped.

"What?" she snapped, green eyes darkened with fury.

Losing my humour, I met her eyes. "You didn't visit me."

"If I did, I would have strangled you."

Licking my lips at the awkwardness, I said, "Alicia, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. But I thought you'd at least–"

I went quiet. Well, I thought she'd at least visit. She'd never been this mad before, not at me and not for something so minor. And the longer I fell quiet, the more her jaw clenched and she stared daggers into my eyes.

"Can we please just forget it happened?" I asked instead. "Move on?"

Without another second wasted, she said, "Whatever," then closed the door in my face.

I stared at it in awe, stunned at her behaviour. How could she still be mad at me, even after apologising?

Unsure what else to do, I left her place to go and sulk in the stadium's stands which were empty. What else could I possibly do for Alicia to forgive me? I understood I worried her, but I literally apologised and I was okay! She'd never been so mad at me before...

As I got lost in thoughts of the green-eyed girl, sulking and thinking and wondering what I could do, I almost missed Madison finding me and joining my side.

"You seen Alicia?" she asked, knowing I was going to talk to her daughter earlier. "How'd it go?"

I shook my head, still surprised at what occurred. "Not good at all. She's still so angry and I just– I don't understand why! It was an accident, Madison, and I apologised!"

Madison glanced at me from the seat beside me, quirking a brow, and I was even more confused.

"What?" I asked. What had I missed?

She sighed heavily, earning my attention, and looked me in the eyes. "Y/N, hon, I'm saying this with love," she started, "but you're so blind to what's in front of you."

Blind, and apparently lost too since I had no idea what she was talking about. She must have noticed, as she rolled her eyes with impatience.

"Alicia cares about you," she said in a knowing tone.

"I know that."

Closing her eyes with pursed lips, she waited a moment before clarifying, "No. She's in love with you, Y/N. She's been in love with you since you were kids. Of course she's angry, but she's mostly hurt. You almost died over something so stupid! Why else would she be like this?"

My jaw dropped as I stammered to find words. "What? She– what– how do you know that?"

Alicia being in love with me? There was no way that could be true. I refused to believe it.

"I know my daughter, very well," she said like it was obvious, before resting a hand on my knee. "And I know you, too. You feel the same, Y/N."

Immediately growing flustered, I avoided her eyes. She knew? How the hell did she know? I was certain I'd hidden it well. I couldn't have hidden it better!

Oh, God, she knew I was in love with her daughter.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed," she suddenly said with a quiet laugh, "it's okay!"

Horrified, I swallowed hard, knowing my face felt as hot as the sun right now. What did I even respond to that?

"I did think you'd have said something to her by now," Madison added. "It's a lot, I know. But, maybe, it's time you came clean and reassured her. Because, quite frankly, I'm sick of watching you both not do anything about it."

If Madison was right about me being in love with Alicia, then surely she was right about Alicia being in love with me? And if that were true, then... holy shit. I guess it made sense why Alicia was so angry at me – or upset, I now realised.

I couldn't find words, not when the confession was shocking me to the core, so I simply nodded slowly in response. At least Madison seemed to be okay with it, the whole me liking her daughter thing.

"You're gonna be fine," she assured me with a small smile, before squeezing my knee and getting up. "I'll leave you to it. Remember to rest your leg, Y/N."

It took me a while to accept the fact that maybe Madison had been right, myself reliving every interaction I'd ever had with Alicia since I met her, overanalysing and trying to gauge whether she may have cared about me like I did her. Two days to be exact, in which Alicia avoided me completely.

When I finally decided enough was enough, I went straight over to visit Alicia with the hope of finding enough courage to either tell her how I felt or get it out of her first. Clearly I was too scared to tell her myself all these years, so I wasn't too convinced it would go to plan.

I found her at her quarters again, an old dugout converted into a room for her, and knocked on as confidently as I could muster. As soon as she opened the door, her expression hardened and she narrowed her eyes at me.

"I just wanna talk," I said before she could think to close the door on me.

"About what exactly?" she asked, her anger still as fresh as it was from two days ago. "About how idiotic you were trying to get a ring?"

Remaining calm, I said, "I just wanted to get it for you, Alicia. Give you a sense of normalcy again and–"

"I didn't ask you to do that!" she exclaimed, before scoffing at me angrily and walking further into her room.

Reluctantly, I stepped inside and tried to defend myself. "I know you didn't, but I wanted to! You seemed to like the display and I thought–"

"I don't give a fuck about a ring!" she shouted, glaring at me, and this time her hurt was present. "It wasn't worth dying over! I care if you're fucking alive! That you're safe!"

The guilt returning yet again, I nodded in understanding. "You're right. I get it. I'm sorry, Alicia."

"No, you don't get it," she retorted, frustration being replaced with worry. "D'you know how– how scary it was watching you back there? Hearing you scream and then seeing you– fuck! Seeing you look so– so fragile? And now look at you! Walking on fucking crutches!"

I chose to stay quiet as she continued to rant, my guilt deepening as she spoke her fears aloud.

"You can be so careless sometimes!" she added, a frown on her lips and glassy eyes darting between mine. "Though, I suppose that's why you're Nick's friend, right? He does the same fucking thing!"

"I won't do it again," I promised her. "I'll think next time."

"Yeah, I hope so," she said bitterly, crossing her arms.

I watched her closely, searching for a semblance of what I hoped to find. "I didn't think you cared so much."

My nerves were creeping in and I so desperately hoped she'd admit her feelings first, so I wouldn't have to.

She looked at me, face flushing shyly before looking away and playing it cool. "Of course I do. You're family. And Nick's best friend."

I waited momentarily, wanting her to say it, but she didn't. And I foolishly couldn't. I was too scared to put myself out there, even after all this time.

Unable to hide my frown, I nodded. "That it?"

She met my gaze, confused. "What else?"

Now it was my turn to grow shy and embarrassed, and I looked away, feeling a little humiliated. It wasn't Alicia's fault at all – she couldn't help how I felt. And maybe Madison had gotten it wrong.

Changing the subject, I shook my head. "Never mind. Sorry again."

I turned to leave, feeling her eyes bore a hole in my back, and somehow I knew that when I walked out of this door, there would never be another chance to tell her how I felt. After all this time, even if she didn't feel the same, maybe I should have finally come clean like Madison said. If I did and we could get over it, maybe I could finally move on?

"Actually no," I said, suddenly feeling an adrenaline rush as I turned around to face her. "I'm not sorry."

She quirked a brow. "Excuse me?"

I sucked up a breath and held her gaze, despite a part of me wanting to leave and never speak again. "I'm not sorry. Not for trying to get that ring. For worrying you, yes, but not the ring."

"Wow, thanks," she said sarcastically, but I didn't let it get to me.

"You wanted that ring," I reminded her. "You looked in that store window and you saw something normal and I wanted to give it to you. I'm not sorry about that. I went in there for you and, yes, you didn't ask me to, Alicia, but you didn't need to. I wanted to! To make you happy, I would do anything. I thought you knew that by now, but maybe I didn't make it clear enough."

Her expression softened as her eyes widened slightly. "What are you saying?"

Now or never, right?

"I'm in love with you, Alicia," I stated with all the confidence left in me. "I have been, since we were kids and since I was old enough to know what love is. And I've been terrified to admit it aloud, especially to you, but I can't keep it to myself anymore. I didn't mean to worry your or upset you or make you so angry, you have to know that."

She didn't say anything as she seemed to digest my confession, and the longer she stared at me without any indication to how she was feeling, the more stupid I felt.

"I can get over it," I told her with a small smile, avoiding her eyes. "You don't need to take this on or anything. I just– I had to tell you. If I've made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry and you have every right to stop talking to me."

"No, just–" she started, and I held my breath as she struggled to speak. "You're in love with me?"

"...Yes."

"I'm in love with you," she admitted, and I could have sworn I misheard until she repeated, "I'm in love with you, too."

"You're in love with me."

"I am," she said softly. "Why didn't you– why didn't you say anything all this time?"

I raised my brows. "Me? Why didn't you?"

She scoffed. "Seriously? I'm your best friend's little sister. How was I supposed to?"

"Exactly," I agreed. "You're my best friend's little sister. How was I supposed to?"

Her eyes flickered between mine. "Like you did just now."

My heart was thumping so loudly I was surprised she couldn't hear it in the quiet of her room. Now what?

"I care about you a lot because I'm in love with you," she said, stepping forward and shakily lifting her hand to cup my cheek. "I don't want you doing stupid stuff that could get you killed. Especially not for me."

"If I had known it was dangerous, I wouldn't have gone in," I told her seriously. "I promised you I wouldn't leave you. I meant it."

She tensed her jaw as she lowered her hand, resting it on my shoulder. "I'm sorry I got so angry and upset. I shouldn't have reacted like that, especially after you got hurt. I just– seeing you like that and knowing it could have been worse, it just– It was frustrating. And I didn't know how to express that, not without revealing how I felt about you."

"Yeah, I kinda thought I fucked everything up when you didn't stop by for a visit," I said, in an attempt to lighten the mood, and it seemed to work as she cracked a small smile.

"I should have visited," she said apologetically. "And I should have told you how I felt."

"Me too," I said gently.

She looked at her hand on my shoulder, avoiding my eyes, and I couldn't stop staring at her as she did. She felt the same way. How could that be possible? How had I missed it?

"Now what?" she murmured.

"Now..." I paused, making her eyes flicker to mine momentarily, hopefully. And, still on a high from being able to admit the truth, I asked, "Can I kiss you?"

She pressed her lips together, nodding slowly, and then I leaned in before I could stop myself, wrapping my crutch and arm around her waist to pull her even close. Her figure fit perfectly in my arms; her lips were as soft as I could have imagined; her fingers left goosebumps across my skin where she caressed my cheek. This was all I'd ever wanted, and now I finally had it.

We pulled apart for air and I was afraid that if I opened my eyes, she wouldn't be there and I'd have imagined it all.

"Y/N?"

I opened my eyes, only to be submerged in golden-green. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

I lifted an eyebrow. "For?"

She didn't falter as she said, "For being here for me all this time. For not leaving. For keeping your promise."

I stroked her waist with my thumb subconsciously, eyes flickering all over her face, committing it to memory, and then a smile curled on my lips. "You don't know how much you've done for me, do you? We're even, Alicia."

She began to smile too, making butterflies blossom in my chest, and then just like that, she pressed her lips to mine and I was in heaven once more.

Looks like Madison was right after all.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Deuce, Malleus: My Dream, to Defend

I now read everything Malleus says as extremely ominous and foreboding (knowing the context of book 7) 👨 THEY’RE ALL RED FLAGS 🚩, YOUR HONOR *proceeds to perpetuate the red flags by giving Malleus reasonably optimistic but also ominous-in-the-right-context dialogue*

Also??? Why are Ace and Deuce's faces on their birthday cards so similar 😂 They kinda match, even their Groovies (they kind of look like they're racing each other!)… cute

A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.

“What makes you glad you can use magic?”

Malleus paused, pondering the question. “What an odd inquiry.”

“For Malleus-senpai, yeah. You use magic for almost everything! It must be hard to just pick one thing about it that makes you go, 'I'm thankful for this!'. But for me…” Deuce tilted his head back, looking up to the structure that loomed over them.

It was the main building of the campus, housing numerous classrooms and offices. Regal and imposing, with several turreted towers and balconies, it was less an academic institution and more like a castle. A castle where dreams and wishes came true. Among them, his--if he worked hard enough.

"I'm happy that I got into Night Raven College," he said earnestly. "I never thought I had the magic potential to make it to a place like this, but here I am... standing at the steps."

Malleus's mouth curled. "What a surprise. Many of the students I've encountered here are the self-assured types. If I may ask... Why is it that you did not believe yourself worthy to stand among us here?"

"Long story short, I was kind of a delinquent back then. I'd use my magic to get up to no good. Y'know, laying the smackdown on anyone that talked shit or looked at me the wrong way."

"... 'Lay the smackdown'? 'Talked shit'? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with such colloquialisms."

"Er, it sounds really wrong hearing those words come from you... Basically, it means 'fighting' and, 'when people say bad things about you'. Got it?"

"I understand. Perhaps I will take care to incorporate such terms into my vocabulary. It may even make me appear more approachable to others."

"AHHHH!!!" Deuce startled, frantically waving his hands to silence his interviewer. "M-Maybe that's not such a good idea!! I think Sebek'd tackle me to the ground and kill me on the spot for teaching you bad words..."

"Fufufu, I jest."

"A-Are you really...?"

"Of course. Please, continue sharing your story." Malleus gestured for him to proceed. "Pray tell, why is it that you became entangled in such affairs?"

"Lots of stuff," Deuce said vaguely. "Mostly because I stood out. Didn't really fit in. It was easier to take out my frustrations on others than to work on myself.

"When my magic came to me, it was helpful to have in fights. It would drive some people off, and they'd leave me alone. They were scared of getting crushed again by a cauldron."

"Scared, you say... Hmm." Malleus looked pensive. "I see. So there are cases where non-mages feel threatened by the existence of mages."

"Huh?!" Deuce stared at him, eyes bulging. "That never occurred to you before, senpai?!"

"Magic comes naturally to me. It is capable of blessings and miracles. I cannot imagine why anyone would fear it."

"Well, I think it's because magic can do good things, but it can also do bad things.”

“Good and bad…” Malleus’s brows crinkled as the considered the thought, a finger to his chin.

Deuce’s stomach dropped at the sight. “Did I speak out of turn?! Y-You don’t have to listen to what I said if you don’t want to, senpai! Forget me, wh-what do I know anyway?!”

“… No, not at all. I was just thinking about your words. It reminds me of something my grandmother told me.”

“Eh, your grandma? Y-You don’t mean the queen of Briar Valley? I… reminded you of her?” Deuce squealed, afraid to speak her name.

“Yes, she.” Malleus’s eyes darkened, resembling a storm right before lightning struck. “Grandmother says that we Draconias were gifted with great powers—and with it, great responsibility to our people and their smiles. It is with this power that we are able to protect our country.

“Is it not similar for magic in general? The wielder is the one who determines whether one’s magic is used for ‘good’ or for ‘bad’ means. In which case… it is up to each of us to use what we have for ‘good’.”

“Draconia-senpai…!!” Deuce clutched a fist to his heart. A smile was at his lips, his eyes shining. “You get me!! I… I want to use my magic for things like that! To defend my friends and my family…!!”

“That is the way.” Malleus smirked, relishing in the newfound fire in his junior’s eyes. “The power to protect those you love is within your own hands. All you must do is shape it, guide it… and make that dream come true, regardless of the obstacles that may cross your path.”

“I’ll do my best!! If there’s one thing I know I’m good at, it’s being stubborn!”

“That kind of persistence is unique to you.” Malleus showed his teeth. “Take pride in that, Spade.”

"You bet I will!!"

"... Incidentally, how do you fare in Defense Magic?"

"Urk!!" The birthday boy visibly deflated--an indication of his answer. "N-Not the best... I studied as much as I could, but still barely passed my last exam. But don't worry about me, Draconia-senpai!!"

Deuce pointed at his temple. "I'll train my brain even more so I can get at least a C next time!!"

A C... so he means to say that he earned a D on his previous exam.

A low laugh rumbled out of Malleus. “How truly tenacious of you, Spade. I wish you the best of luck on that journey.”

He lifted a hand, fingers curling around the milky orb floating in the sky. The wind rustled upon his command, ushering in a cool breeze that chased off the bleating heat of summer.

“The birthday road, and your future, awaits.”

“Yes!! I’m on my way!!” Deuce eagerly mounted his broom. His knees were tucked together tightly, stiffly securing the handle.

“Ah, and Spade. One more thing.”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“When the times comes,” Malleus said with an easy smile, “you are free to defend yourself against my magic.”

Deuce nearly fell off of his broom at the suggestion. “Whaaat?! There’s no way I’d be able to hold up against your magic…! I’ll be just a pile of ashes by the time you’re done with…”

He caught himself and stopped. A deep breath taken, and then he set his jaw. The peacock green of his eyes had dimmed into a shade more serious.

“… No. I… I just told you that I wanted to be the kind of guy who’s capable of defending the people he loves. That means no running away, even if I’m scared, even if I know I might not win! That’s my promise to myself.”

“Fufu, that’s what I like to hear. I will be expecting you sometime then.”

Deuce gulped. “Got it! I’ll face your challenge and my future… head-on!!”

FwooooOOOSH!!

A steady wind kicked up, starting small and growing into a powerful gale. Deuce yelped as his broom bucked forward, inching above the ground on only a few startled sparkles. He looked back in horror, only to find Malleus chuckling into a hand.

Had that been a magical push?

“Heh, so that’s how it’s gonna be?” A wicked glint had surfaced in Deuce, from the eyes to his grin. “I’ll show you just how I ride…!”

Gripping the handle tightly, he leaned forward, bracing himself for a familiar rush. Height wasn’t his goal, but speed.

The world stilled. His senses sharpened, his thoughts growing louder, more insistent.

Imagine a magical wheel. Think of becoming one with the wind. So fast that you’re not yourself anymore.

He blasted off, a tornado of swirling blue petals left where he had once been. Flitting down lazily, drunken on the moonlight, they were the mark of a speed demon reborn.

The past, far behind him.

[cemetery-irises]

Blorbotagging the song again!! May repeat some of the points said before but I'm thinking of a different scenario than the original analysis now.

At the start of the breakdown, he's already starting to blurt out whatever's in his brain, but he's stable enough to lament the fact that it's happening. He wants to think about what he wants to say but his tongue is too loose for comfort.

This is his memory of him and The Hermit's "first meeting". Alva would likely slip up in his persona at some points since he already knows Luca extremely well, and already knowing Luca's name probably is something he overlooked at first, until Luca brought it up. Luca was probably scrambling to figure out if he'd actually met the Hermit before (he has, but not in the manor) until they realise Oh Shit I should ask him questions and stuff

Ironically, he remembers how Alva was more than he remembers himself, but he doesn't remember the right parts. He remembers Alva was an overwork-er who barely spent time apart from his invention, and Luca emulates that behaviour no matter how many times in the past Alva tried to make sure he didn't fall into that unhealthy pattern. He remembers Alva was smart, charming and comforting to be around, but he doesn't know how to be any of those, so he stumbles into his own way of doing it, no matter how un-alva-y he may be acting.

This fits him """stealing the manuscripts""" as I said before, but it also works for him scrambling to pick up the pieces of himself.

[I never meant to disappoint, I genuinely thought I was smart and charming unlike how I am now. / Am I like Alva now? I feel like there's so much I'm missing... Maybe I should r-read my diary. again. / If you compliment me on something, I'm going to do it over and over again. I need to do the things that people think I do well. I have to be perfect at what I like to do, right? Otherwise I'm not how I was. (I'll never be him I'll never be him I'll never be him never never never never—)]

{repeated lyrics but want to highlight the top and bottom lines specifically}

Luca idolises everyone he cares about, because "they all know who they are and what they're doing! T-their heads aren't broken! like mine! ...I-i should be proud of them, w-why am I... crying...?"

And the mask he puts on to reflect everyone, ESPECIALLY towards Alva, is mostly to try in vain to mask his brain damage. He doesn't want to look stupid, he doesn't want to feel stupid, please just let his words come out how he wants them to, please please please please PLEASE-

He's scared of Alva figuring out that his son is useless now, meanwhile Alva has already figured it out and disappointment in him is probably the FURTHEST emotion to what Alva feels.

This part of the song is a slow moment of relief before everything slams into him. He really will do whatever it takes. He tries to make himself steady but he sees Alva worried over him for no clear reason because "w-why are you so proud of me?! I-I'm broken!! I'm ruined!!!!"

He shatters.

He desperately tries to use the repetition to ground himself and get a good footing on his brain, but all it succeeds in is dragging him further and further and further down his spiral.

Eventually it somehow devolves further into a cascade of "like you" because he just wants Alva to understand how much he's fucking trying to be like them. Trying to be smart, loved, worth anything at all.

(also the final tight spiral at the end before he hits the bottom with the "how I just wanna be just like you, like you, like you, like you, like You, Like You, Like YOU, LIKE—")

god i am fucking. EATING THIS OLLIE ISTG /VVPOS

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Sorry if this starts a new thread but I am thinking so hard about the crew Jonny traveled with to Europe.... On average a voyage like that would take 6-10 weeks, if the weather treated them well. (It could even take longer, in the 1600s it would've been around three months even, but travel advanced a little by the Beauty and the Beast era obviously.) I'd assume the trip took at least two months, if not more, and Jonny was probably there for most of it if, when the ship went down, he was close enough to shore to wash up. (Also, need to talk about how so not fun being washed up from a ship wreck likely is... That boy is gonna be battered and bruised and broken, broken bones and cuts are so likely considering the waves and probable shore being more rocky than sandy, and he could've easily developed hypothermia and/or pneumonia. Just to throw in more angst or hurt comfort stuff with the realism.) Point being, he probably had a chance to get close with some or all of the crew.

Idk what kind of sailors these are, to be specific. I'm kinda ruling out government officials or any type of warship or military vessel, obviously. It was probably a type of merchant ship (meant to transport goods and sometimes passengers), and Jonny just stowed away because he was terrified hated the idea of being caught after killing his dad and stuff. I do think the idea of it being a pirate ship (it was likely during or right after the golden age of piracy when this all happened) is extremely funny, mainly if the crew was very chill. Also, while a merchant ship is more likely to me, a very chill pirate crew might have less qualms about a trans masc murdering twelve year old than a typical merchant ship crew (possibly, at least. Maybe the merchant crew it very cool, maybe the pirates are genuinely assholes instead). Also, pirates probably pose as normal merchants plenty.

Thinking specifically about Jonny knowing he's a boy, but never being allowed to change or express that with his birth parents. Everyone he killed (including his father) could've easily been when he was more femme presenting, so running away, he might now have a better chance as presenting more masculine, and it's kinda helpful to have a new identity when you're on the run from the law. Also, whether it cool pirates or very anti government merchants, the idea of certain crew members knowing this and helping him pass better is just..... gonna tear my heart out. (Picturing he had long hair that he messily chopped away at with a knife, and later on a crew member offering to clean the cut up a bit.... and it does kinda grow out during the trip but Jonny doesn't mind...... idk chewing and tearing at that.)

Just thinking about Jonny developing a close relationship with some of the crew... Feel like some of the crew members might not be the greatest but Jonny gets close with a select few on board. Just thinking about that only for it to be torn away before they reach land. Idk pissing myself off over something I made up in my brain... (its entirely possible for other people to survive the wreck, too, but how likely is it that Jonny knew they survived, or that anyone else knew Jonny did, you know?)

I dunno just going insane. Tagging partners in crime er writing @blazeismyname and @unsat-and-strange for y'alls thoughts

[syilcawrites]

1 word prompt: paragliding :) or whistle! or spices. pick what gets the creative juices flowing

congrats on 500!

This has been sitting in my inbox for so long.......... I'm so sorry for the extremely super duper long wait, I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN IT!! I had major writer's block with this but today is the day I finally send u something!!!

Thank u nathaniacolver for the ask!!

Summary: Link and Zelda have been staying in Kakariko for a few days and crave a pumpkin-filled meal. After buying a pumpkin from Olkin and heading to High Produce Spirits for some spice, they run into the store owner's husband—Steen—Olkin's produce rival! In a desperate attempt to hide the pumpkin they bought, Zelda stuffs the small pumpkin under her shirt... causing a grave misunderstanding.

ao3

"We've got all sorts of pumpkins! Like ah… like this big ol' fortified pumpkin. And then there's this little one right here and-and this perfectly shaped fortified pumpkin over there in the corner. It's one of my bestsellers, promise."

Zelda blinks once, then twice, but her perfect smile remains unwavered on her face. "You have a delightful array of… of selections!" she says enthusiastically, "so much that it's hard to really choose… which one to get." Zelda nudges Link with her elbow.

"Oh, uh…" Link rubs the spot where Zelda had jabbed him. "No preference?" he murmurs to her. She shakes her head. "Yeeah… okay. We'll just go with this?" he says, picking up the closest pumpkin to them. He tilts his head at it, a small smile springing onto his face. "Heh, it kinda looks like you."

She raises her eyebrows at him, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?" Zelda huffs out, crouching down next to him to inspect what pumpkin he chose. It was one of the smaller ones in the garden, shaped cutely like a round oval–small enough that it would sit perfectly in between her two palms. Instead of responding to her, Link just grins.

"Ha! You've got a good eye!" Olkin chortles loudly. "They're much sweeter than the bigger ones. I'll give you a lil' discount and make it 15 rupees, whatd'ya say?"

"Sounds good to me." Link drops the rupees into Olkin's open hand. "Steen's not running you into the ground anymore, right? Did you two talk it out?"

"Meh," he responds with a shrug, rubbing his nose. "Once that old man stops selling carrots I'll start talkin' to him."

After a few more playful, friendly chatter, the two of them depart from Olkin's Pumpkin Farm to pick up a few spices and herbs from High Spirits Produce.

"Er... is it wise to bring the pumpkin with us into the store?" Zelda asks, grabbing Link's arm before they enter the store. "What if Trissa tells Steen we bought from Olkin? Remember the last time Steen found out we bought pumpkins from Olkin?" When they had walked into High Spirits Produce with a pumpkin in hand, and Steen had been in the store, he accused Link of being a two-timing-no-good customer.

"Oh-? Link? Zelda? Is that you?" a very familiar voice calls out from behind them. Link and Zelda simultaneously stiffen in response, goosebumps rising.

"O-oh! Steen!" Link swivels around, stepping in front of Zelda so that she's blocked from his view. "You're back early, was it a slow day selling your carrots?"

Of course Steen is right behind them!

"Just one of those days, Aha ha! Nothing to worry about though!"

Quickly, Zelda stuffs the pumpkin under her shirt and turns around, her body remaining hidden behind Link as she gives Steen a small smile. "I'm, ah, sure tomorrow will be better! I'm feeling quite ill, so... we'll be heading back..." Slowly, she turns back around and begins to trek her way up the incline with her hands tucked snug underneath the pumpkin hidden behind her shirt.

"Oh!"

Zelda freezes. She glances up to her left, and...

Trissa stands there, her eyes wide and her hands hiding her mouth in utter disbelief and surprise.

"Zelda are you- it can't be- you're pregnant??" Trissa practically screams, squealing in delight.

"P-" Zelda is too baffled to even finish the word as cold sweat forms on her skin. This cannot be happening, Zelda thinks, as she pales.

"Pregnant??" Link and Steen gasp in unison, as if Trissa screaming it isn't bad enough. Zelda's sure the whole village has heard them now.

"OhmyHylia!!" Trissa squeals again, jumping giddily to Zelda as she grabs her shoulders, squeezing them in delight. Zelda presses the pumpkin against her stomach with her dear life, eyes wide and lips pursed in utter shock. "Why didn't you say anything? I knew you two were an item! Honey, dear, look at her bump! You're not too far along, it seems!"

Steen takes no time in quickly jogging over to them with a silly grin on his face. Then, his hands reach out and- oh, if someone were to touch the bump they'd immediately know that it isn't...!

"Ah, darn. We really wanted to keep this a secret!"

Whatareyousaying?? Zelda, whose mind is currently gone to panic-mode-mush, stares at Link with wide eyes as he somehow pries her away from Steen and Trissa.

"Please don't tell anyone?" Link asks, smiling apologetically. "We don't want to give Impa a shock just yet."

"Oh, oh of course!" Trissa spews, grinning so genuine and happy that it makes Zelda feel like a terrible person. "Your secret is S-A-F-E with me and Steen, right darling??"

"Absolutely," Steen says immediately as he claps his hands together. "Trissa, go get one of everything from the store and give it to them! They're gonna need a lot more food with a third mouth joining!"

"Ah, no, please-" Zelda says weakly, but Trissa is already in and out of the store, hauling a whole bag of spices, food, and other goodies for them and hands them over to Link. Steen adds in a whole bundle of swift carrots into the bag as well.

"I added in some teas that will help with morning sickness," Trissa explains with a beaming smile. "Just pop some honey into them for some sweetness if it's too bitter!"

"Oh... thank... you..." Zelda manages to spit out. "I think- yes. I think Link and I must go, I feel terribly exhausted." She grips the sleeve of his shirt with one hand, tugging. She'll give them rupees for all the food later, but right now, every inch of her is screaming to get out of here immediately.

They say their goodbyes, and finally, when they separate from the lovely Sheikah couple and they're a good ways near the edge of the village, Zelda drops to a crouch and buries her head into her lap.

"Link," she mumbles, crumbling, pulling the innocent pumpkin out of her shirt and hugging it to her chest. "Whatarewegoingtodo???"

He bursts into laughter.

Zelda whips her head up at him, glaring, her face beginning to flush. "This isn't- this is a disaster!!" They both know that Steen and Trissa are the number one gossipers of Kakariko Village, there's just no way that they wouldn't spread it, and if Impa hears it...

He continues to laugh until he's gasping for air, clutching his stomach, and it sounds so raw and free that Zelda can't help but crack a smile because- well, the whole thing is awfully silly.

Still chuckling, he puts the bag of food down and helps her up, taking the pumpkin into his arms. He stares at it fondly as if it really is his child. "I guess we should think of a name, huh? For our unborn kiddo?"

Her cheeks warm at the thought of Link being a father and—

"Oh, enough of your silliness!" Zelda sputters, pinching his nose. She grabs the bag off from the ground and hauls it up, fully aware that her cheeks are probably as red as the ripe apples that grow in Kakariko Village. Unbeknownst of the calamity they had unleashed upon the small Sheikah clan for the coming days, they depart the village with a massive armful of delicious food.

[brylichen]

Hello, there. Welcome to Brylichen!

“Oh, hi. I’m Mylo, nice to meet you!”

————————————————————————————

Welcome to Brylichen! Lead by the monarch, Mylo, it’s a beautiful underground kingdom located in a long chain of lush caves. Mylo really likes to meet new people, so they love new visitors!

What’ll you do here in Brylichen? Are you just passing through, or are you looking for something more permanent like citizenship? Whatever the case, you’re always welcome here. Happy adventuring!

————————————————————————————

This is a roleplay blog for @mean-gills’s Empires season 3 rp! Run by @the-bad-boys, but this is it’s own account because sideblogs are rather confusing for me to use lmao..

Just a disclaimer: I’m fairly busy IRL as of recently, so I may randomly disappear. Apologies!

Anyone’s welcome to roleplay with this blog, but the only people that may engage in serious lore are the 10 other blogs we have specifically for this roleplay. Full blown roleplayers to shy anons - everyone’s good! HOWEVER, won’t be interacting with anyone until our group sort of picks up. It’ll be soon, don’t worry!

The only things I won’t allow are NSFW, random/extreme stuff, and overpowered things. [For example, don’t just say something like, “I run at them so fast they can’t run away”.] Otherwise, come on over!

If you send me an ask, I might not reply to it because a) I’m not online or b) I feel like I’m too busy roleplay-wise. However, it’s been a really long time - say a week or so - feel free to send another ask in reminding me as I may have forgotten.

————————————————————————————

TAGS

#all around the bush we go - in character posts

#not me not you; who is who? - out of character posts

#all together now! - roleplaying [specifically with others]

#open the letter - asks

————————————————————————————

OTHER

[just random stupid fun facts]

About Mylo

they/it pronouns

agender

Glare hybrid!

4’8

likes literally everything cute

it’s favorite things ever are mushrooms and other types of related nature items..so funky

About Brylichen

previously known as Lichendrip, but Mylo's great great grandmother decided that name wasn't..fancy enough

protected with a sort of force field, which is made of a combination of cave materials, to keep hostile mobs out

About Me

Ren! he/they/it pronouns :D

I've been roleplaying for almost 1.5 years er..

^ you may have seen some of my other blogs; I always use this specific format [or something super similar] so you know it's probably me!! it's like a trademark lmfao

^^ apparently, a few of the other blogs in our group have been borrowing the format for their own blogs! meh..they're the only exception, otherwise it's me 👍

I’m 5’6 but someday. SOMEDAY I’LL GET TALLER, MARK MY WORDS!!

[thatchronicfeeling]

masks

menstrual pads / tampons

panty liners

incontinence pads

adult nappies / diapers Yes, they should provide these things for you. But often things in hospital are run 'on a wing and a prayer', so if there's something that would make you more comfortable, take it with you! I know that all of this stuff isn't affordable / practical for everyone. If that's the case for you, maybe have a think if *some* of this is doable for you. - maybe you could have a tote bag with a couple of essentials (see hashtags below) - maybe you could make a list of things you'd need to pack for an emergency hospital trip - maybe you have a paper list of emergency contacts - maybe you could keep a list of your meds on your phone - maybe you could think up a strategy if there are meds/supplements you would need to keep hidden whilst in hospital (seriously. I know someone who got her meds -- and salt -- confiscated by a nurse who said they'd 'keep it safe'...and then she didn't have access to the specific meds she needed, when she needed them) #I wish I could do this#but I can’t afford to have some of those things#and not use them#still a good idea#at least I have a backpack#that I am accustomed to emergency stuffing for the ER#and it does have a few staples like chapstick#and a medical list#plus a bag with some toiletries#like hair brush and spray and lotion @lifewithchronicpain Also, this bullet point on the list above made me laugh: "Pyjamas that are comfy enough to be in but not too revealing since it's hospital". I was once hospitalised during a heat wave. A family member very kindly went to buy a comfy weather-appropriate change of clothes + some nighties. That's how I ended up in hospital with extremely skimpy cotton nighties, with teeny tiny straps. Meaning that I'd go to bed with the essentials barely covered...and I'd wake up with everything on show. Luckily, I was in a single room because I had such epic diarrhoea that I was *always* in the toilet and sharing a bathroom caused a problem for the other patients. Yes, on a bowel ward. Where there were not enough toilets. For the patients with bowel problems.

I was talking to a friend and found out this isn't normal for everyone to have so if you're one of the people who don't have an emergency hospital bag, this is your sign to start pulling one together. Hope you'll never need it but make it anyways because if you need it and you don't have one you'll kick yourself. It's designed so if you were suddenly rushed to hospital or had to go to A&E/ER then you or someone you know can just grab it and go. Trust me, it makes life so much easier when you have a bag in an allocated space that anyone can grab for you if you need it. All you need is a bag designed to be hand luggage on a plane. Everyone's is different and it's customisable to you but things I have in mine include:

A list of all my current medications and their dosages

A list of all diagnoses with the medications used for them noted since some medications have multiple uses

A list of any mobility or physical limitations due to disabilities or illnesses

A list of emergency contacts

A list of allergies and what happens when I come into contact with those allergens

My regular doctors and specialists information

A change of comfy clothes including two sets of underwear and socks

Pyjamas that are comfy enough to be in but not too revealing since it's a hospital

Dressing gown (if there's space - if not keep one close to the bag for convenience)

Wet wipes

Alcohol hand gel

Deodorant

Chewing gum

Travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush

Travel sized dry shampoo

Travel sized shampoo and conditioner

Travel sized shower gel

A small tube of hand cream

A small microfiber towel

A plastic bag to keep soiled clothes in

A book to read

A puzzle book with at least two pens/pencils

Headphones/ear plugs

A portable phone charger

Spare phone charger with plug

Small comfort items

Small stim items

An eye mask

A small fan

A bottle of water and some small snacks (no nuts!)

I really encourage everyone to build theirs and regularly check it and update it as needed. Even if you think you're the healthiest person in the world, you have no idea what tomorrow will bring and it's always better to be prepared than left floundering during an already stressful situation. Feel free to add on your own ideas for what people can put in theirs. My list is by no means complete and there's bound to be things I didn't think of

[1358456]

Pokemon Crystal "Free to Play" Run Part 1

Time to give this a try. I remember very little about the specifics and the hidden secrets of Generation II, so... um... this may be a doomed run. We'll see.

Here we go. No glitches, no catching any Pokemon whatsoever, and no buying Pokemon either. Free to play.

Once again, I don't have enough spaces, and don't have access to numbers so... FTP again.

... Who the hell is this? Her daughter is adamant about becoming Prof. Elm's assistant? ... Was that ever brought up in Pokemon Special? Hmm. I can probably use this in an upcoming Short.

There's some asshole looking into the lab and no one ever notices him. ... This lab has one entrance, and an assistant who wanders around that only entrance doing literally nothing else. How did this asshole get in and steal a Pokemon? ... I guess through the window??

Heh. Unlike Prof. Rowan who just stares at you, this dude begs you for help. "Please, we're drastically understaffed because we can't afford any helpers! You're not getting paid for this either!"

"Partner" my ass. ... Oh wait, Free to Play run. ... Er... Yes. Very important. Especially considering the later parts... Taking Cyndaquil for now and will deeply regret my decision at the end of this post.

So this is what a battle looks like from an outsider's perspective. ... So... how do the battles in my Yellow version runs look? "That dude's Pikachu is... er... blue."

Why does my character have a blue Pokeball? Did I merge a Pokeball with a Squirtle already? And this asshole's arm is... kind of messed up. Either his hand is as long as his forearm, or his arm can reach past his knee.

"My name is ???" ... Sure. I didn't ask for his name or his life aspirations, but I guess he's lonely. Well, f*ck him.

Er... I think there's a dude named Ricky in here who wants to trade you an Onix for a Bellsprout. But that requires me to CATCH a Bellsprout, so... nope.

... Huh. That's actually a thing. I thought the mandatory Trainer's School was given that name in Pokemon Special only. I guess the "orphanage" part is new. ... Orphanage... I miss the kids in Morning Glory...

... Where is the teacher? Did he f*ck off and abandon the class? There are like 12 seats here and only 4 kids, 2 of which are playing Pokemon games in the back. ... Wait, what?

I thought there was a path around the dollar sign. But I guess that's HGSS only?

Your dad's "cherished bird Pokemon" are just random sh*t he found in the Viridian Forest.

Nope. F*ck off. ... Oh wait, Free to Play... er... I mean... Yes!

Hey, this is guy who, back in the days, everyone thought was referring to Pokerus that you can only find in the grass around him. ... Back in those days, people also thought that shiny Pokemon were extremely rare variants that appeared in specific places. ... I found Pokerus in my actual Gold version. And Ruby. ... And then I spawned it in Silver! See my GSC Joy Run posts for that shenanigans.

... Sheesh. Sorry for being broke. There's a reason why this is a Free to Play run...

Hey! A gift Pokemon! I wonder what's inside? It better be good! Because I am very lacking in the Pokemon department!

This is Bill's mother. And... So Bill's father is a gambling addict? Hmm. Did I know that already?

Another "gift" Pokemon! It's like a quest delivery weapon/armor in Skyrim or something. As long as I don't complete the quest...

... It's a "gift", but... it ain't good. But... well... I effectively robbed this guy. I can't exactly complain about the quality of the stuff I stole. At least it can use Fly probably. Oh, it has mail. ...

Whoops. My bad. I do not work for the post office, so this is not my responsibility.

... I have to face Whitney very soon. And without a Geodude/Graveler for once. A Spearow and Togepi/Togetic do not help me against that. So... er... this Odd Egg had better hatch into something good!

... ... ... ... -_- ... ... ... ...

Odd Egg? Never heard of it. I only ever had my starter, Togepi Egg, and the "gift" Spearow. ... I just can't get away from that li'l abomination...

I guess Quilava has to solo Whitney... through Attract and Rollout. ... Hmm...

It's cheese time.

Just like Misty's Starmie, Whitney's Miltank is no match for this finely curated, moldy, nasty-ass fromage. Now there should be no more problems!

... So here I am in Ecruteak. And... This is it, huh? ... The first Water Stone you can get is in Cerulean Cape, so... I physically can't progress past Olivine City. Nothing here gets Surf. ... Um... so... I guess I absolutely needed to have picked Totodile at the start of the game. This run was doomed the moment I picked Cyndaquil. "Truth is, the game was rigged from the start."

... F*ck. This is like those very old text based adventure games where you could have f*cked yourself over at the start of the game and wouldn't find out until like... 10 hours in.

Well then. Part 1 is a proof-of-concept run. I'll restart with Totodile for Part 2. And looking at this right now, my team by the end is going to be...

Feraligatr (Surf, Whirlpool, Cut), Fearow (Fly), Togetic (Flash), Espeon, Dragonite (Waterfall), and... something other than Pichu from that Daycare random egg. I wonder if Togetic can learn Fly. If that's the case, I don't need the Fearow and I can replace it with a Hitmonlee/chan/top. ... If I remember where Tyrogue is, anyways. Might be that cave right next to Ecruteak...

Well, next time.

[ofthoughtsandmemories]

I was loading up tumblr to take a look at some older posts on my main blog and, for some reason, this blog was what loaded first. It was a real slap in the face, honestly, but not in a terrible way.

It's sort of coincidental that I run across this blog unintentionally when very recently I've been reflecting on how tumblr and internet culture as a whole in my teenage years affected my mental health and sense of self. I think a lot about the Twenty One Pilots Era and how depression and anxiety and other mental health problems were not just normalized, but celebrated. It was extremely toxic and I fell into that pit so easily.

I believe I have always suffered from depression and anxiety - or at least symptoms of both regularly enough to distinguish it from ADHD - but I just have this gut feeling that I would have been better off if I had never participated in that kind of community at all. I developed anorexia and made thinspo blogs. I found myself desperately wanted to be diagnosed officially with something so that I could feel... validated, I guess? Special? Worth something? Which was probably indicative of mental illness in itself, but still, the guilt of "faking it" has haunted me all my life. Even well past the point of growing up and realizing these communities were harmful.

It made me treat my friends poorly. I was paranoid and selfish and hurting, and I lashed out at people who didn't deserve it. Kayden in particular lingers in my mind. I'd like to apologize someday, but I don't know if it's worth bringing up old pain if he still even thinks about it. Same with Paige, since I know now that what I felt for her was limerance and an extremely unhealthy anxious attachment style/codependence. It was not her fault and I feel like, at least at one point, she thought it was. I hope she realizes the truth now.

I'm in my third year of grad school. Every year has been a series of increasingly difficult mental, social, and academic challenges. Hell, even physical, at this point. I reached one of the lowest spots of my life on my 24th birthday this year, where I finally got low enough that suicide was a real, serious option, and I asked my friends to hospitalize me. I only spent 2 or so days in a psych ward, but it was terrible enough to deter me from doing that again unless the stakes are truly dire. I felt so dehumanized. My things were taken, I was forced to strip and put on scrubs that didn't fit, I was free bleeding with no underwear for 8 hours and even still didn't receive a menstrual pad until a few hours before my discharge, I was put in a room in the ER where there was no bed, only a tiny cot on the floor, and when I was at the ward I was woken up all hours of the night by people taking my vitals or asking me question or even just other patients screaming their distress at nothing in the rooms adjacent to me. A man I discharged with, clearly homeless and mentally unwell, had an angry rampage in the lobby as I was waiting for my friend to pick me up. I watched him walk off into the cold weather with no shirt and no place to go. I can't stop thinking about it.

I don't know if I'm going to graduate this semester. I'll make it work if I don't, but it's going to be a financial strain on both myself and my parents. I'm feeling marginally better recently after starting some new meds and seeing my therapist more frequently and having my Omaha friends to rely on, so I'm hopeful that I can get everything done that I need to. We will see.

I guess I just wanted to use this space as a little journal to reflect on the past semester and stuff. Part of me hopes someone sees it, just to share a piece of myself with someone, but that part of me is pretty selfish.

Things will get better. I know that and I can see it on the near horizon. I just need to do my part, ask for help when I need it, rely on my friends, and stay optimistic as best I can. No one will be able to say I didn't try.

Anyway... here's a picture of Spoon and Fork for a palate cleanser for myself. I'm gonna go bother them with kisses now

[ineubytes]

 What is most important to get a summer internship?

Thanks for the A2A. I am a Computer Science graduate student and I have interned at 3 different companies (Cisco, Citrix and Bank of America) and I have attended loads of interviews. The main thing the interviewer looks for are as follows,

1.  STRONG FUNDAMENTALS: I cannot emphasize this enough. Your concepts in data structures and algorithms must be extremely strong.

2.  Do not lie on your resume. Your resume should reflect only the concepts you are confident about. I had an internship interview at Microsoft and I was at the last round of interviews and I was so close to getting it . Prior to the interview I had worked a little with databases like simple SQL queries but I had not learnt the concepts behind database design yet (relationships, ER diagram, etc.). I had put databases a skill on my resume and my interviewer asked me questions about 1:1, 1:n and n:n relationships and I seriously had no clue what he was talking about. For people who aren't familiar with database design, the above question is the most fundamental question anyone can ask about database design. He assumed I lied on my resume despite my attempts to make him understand that I just knew basic SQL. Naturally I did not get the internship. I still wonder to this day weather I would have gotten the internship if i hadn't put database as a skill on my resume.

3.  If you don't have sufficient knowledge about any concept, inform the interviewer that you are not familiar with it. Nobody expects you to know everything.

4.  Look at the requirements of the job before applying. Most of the job postings have a list of technologies that they expect their candidates to be familiar with. For example if you do not have any Web design or Web development experience DO NOT apply for a Web Developer internship.

5.  Try to maintain a good GPA. Academic scores are the first level of screening. Some companies do not even look at your resume if your GPA is below 3.2.

6.  Take part in a lot of extracurricular activities especially volunteering activities like Habitat for Humanity, etc.

7.  Develop communication and interpersonal skills. You should be able to communicate your thoughts and ideas effectively to be highly productive in work place. In any company, you would be working in a team and will be interacting with a lot of people. A simple “Good Morning” everyday can go a long way in establishing a good relationship with your teammates and colleagues.

8.  Try to be updated with the latest developments happening in your field of interest. For example, in computer science know something about data mining, Internet of Things, Cloud Computing, etc. Subscribe to blogs and newsletters (most of them are free) that provide relevant information.

9.  Network. Try to get in touch with the industry folk via LinkedIn or any other platform and get an idea about the tools and technologies their department/company uses.

10.  The virtual internship and job process are to some extent luck based. Never get dejected if you get a reject. Just brush it off and keep applying. Not obtaining an internship is not the end of the world. There are so many other things you can do and pursue if you are unable to land an internship. Try to work under a professor. Trust me the professors work on the latest stuff and the knowledge you gain while working under a professor is invaluable.

11.  Last but not the least never give up your academics to prepare or attend interviews. I have personally seen a lot of friends and classmates who have chosen easy courses so they could devote more time to interviews and job applications. Remember you are in school to study and obtain knowledge. Your school days are the best period to develop your skills as you do not have any other major responsibility such as a family or kids (most cases) and can devote more time and energy in learning.

Thsee are all the points I can think about as of now. Will update the answer if I can think of anything else.

[sokoviansimp]

The Package

✒  Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Child!Reader (platonic)

✒  Tags & Warnings: child taken by hydra, neglect

-lmk if im missing any

✒ A/N : I’m planning for this to be a series :) I’m open to requests or suggestions for other parts

✒ Summary: The team is sent off to retrieve a dangerous package from Hydra, instead they find a child. 

✒ Word Count: 3373

Masterlist | The Package AU | Part 2

“If all goes to plan, this should be textbook stuff,” Steve explained to the team waiting to unload from the Quinjet, “we get in, get the package, and then get out. Understood?” The team consisting of Wanda, Tony, Clint, and Nat all nodded on queue.

At that point, they felt the landing gear make contact with the ground just a couple miles out from the Hydra base they planned to invade. The exit door began to lift and they all filed out of the vehicle to get into position. Wanda and Tony took to the sky for surveillance while the other 3 followed behind on 2 motorcycles.

The plan was to be as discrete as they could for as long as possible. They knew it wouldn’t be a stealth mission, but to draw the least amount of attention until they had the package was ideal. 

Wanda took out the guards at the gate before they could trigger an alarm while Tony blasted the surveillance cameras. The ground team was free to move into the base, all was going according to plan. It didn’t take long for them to draw attention to themselves once they infiltrated the entrance. The opposing team sprung into action, sending as many goons as they could to slow down the invasion long enough to escape with what they needed most from a helicopter on the roof. 

Tony saw the blades of the helicopter slowly start to spin as they warmed up and quickly blasted them off with his repulser to prevent them from leaving. Quickly making his way to the helicopter to retrieve the package, that he assumed they were trying to escape with. 

“Oh, no you don’t” he quipped toward the scientists as he took them out and snatched their briefcase. 

“Steve, I’ve got the briefcase, time to boogie,” Tony exclaimed over the comms. 

“Briefcase?” Steve repeated, confused. 

“Yea, in my hand. Let’s go,”

“The package won’t fit in a briefcase, Tony.” Steve rebutted, “Does it say HS12?” 

The briefcase was silver and had no distinct markings on it other than the hydra symbol at the top adorning the combination lock, “er- no, but they were trying to leave with it so I just-” 

“Keep looking Stark” Steve commanded. 

Going through the same doors that the scientists came through on the roof, Wanda went in to search the building for the real package they were after. The only thing she knew about it, is that it’s labeled HS12 and it’s extremely dangerous. Making her way through the dimly lit halls of the base, she saw weapon labs labeled with a W and corresponding numbers. Initially, she went into one hoping to find what she was looking for but everything in the room began with a W so she knew she was likely far off from her target. 

Coming up empty handed she decided to ask for help. The room that she went into initially was empty, so she found one that wasn’t, “Excuse me?” she said with feigned innocence, “I’m looking for something specific, can one of you help me?” 

The scientists tried to scurry away knowing exactly who they were speaking with. Wanda Maximoff was spoken about widely throughout Hydra, she was one of their greatest successes after all. With little effort; Wanda trapped the men in the room with her, locking the doors shut with her magic, “HS12, Where can I find it?” Wanda sternly queried, she hated being back in the house of hydra after being experimented on by the same people just a couple of years prior. Reminding herself that she was a misinformed volunteer helped quell the hatred she held for them in her soul. Some of these people may be of the same fate, thinking they're changing the world for the better, only to be helping the wrong team. Or even worse, some of these people may not even have a choice in the matter at all. Doing work to protect a loved one from threats of torture or even death. 

As silence stained the room, she decided to give her audience some incentive to answer. Using her magic, she lifted the scientist with the most badges displayed on his lab coat up into the air. Judging by the badges, he’s likely been there a while, meaning he should have the information she’s seeking. While in her grasp, the red wisps moved up to his throat as they squeezed into each other, cutting off his oxygen supply, “I won’t ask again”

Merely seconds later, the scientist was already squirming, “th-” he tried to gasp out, Wanda loosened her hold on his throat just enough for him to speak the answer, “third fl- floor” he squealed out; desperate for air, and scared for his life. Wanda wasted no time, abruptly dropping the scientist to the linoleum tile that sat below him as she turned to head for the staircase. 

The entrance to the third floor from the stairwell was locked, needing a keycard for entry. The door read Authorized Personnel Only in bold red letters. This didn’t do anything to stop Wanda, as she blasted her magic through the door swinging it open. Similarly to the rooms on the upper floor, each one was labeled with HS and a corresponding number. The first door to her left reads HS37, so she continues down the hall to look for 12. The first chunk of rooms are empty, it isn’t until she gets down around 15 that she realizes they aren’t weapon rooms, they’re cells. Then it clicks; HS = Human Subject.

Her heartbeat picks up as her mind starts to conjure images of what type of monster could be waiting for her behind the door. Whatever it is, whoever it is, she’s sure she can handle it, in fact, she’s slightly relieved that she’s the one to find it because she’s probably best suited out of the current team to face a dangerous creature. With only a few doors between 15 and 12, she arrives quicker than her mind can prepare, so she stands there for a couple of seconds, inhaling deeply before blasting the locked door with her magic. 

As she enters, the building starts to tremble, shockwaves radiating from the room. She’s met with quite the opposite of what she was expecting, a small child scurrying to huddle into a fetal position in the corner of the room terrified of the stranger that just entered. Most of the time, people visiting your cell were unwelcomed, but at least they were familiar. Their visits often resulted in needles being poked into your arms which made you dread the sound of the hinges on the door. 

Wanda’s features immediately softened in an attempt to calm you, “Hi there, it’s ok malyshka, I’m not going to hurt you,” she gently assured 

You nuzzled your head deeper into your legs seeking any comfort you could get as tears threaten to spill from your eyelids. 

“Steve, you didn’t tell us HS12 is a child,” Wanda said angrily over the comms to the super soldier. 

“A what?!” Natasha chimed in confused

The increase of Wanda’s voice jarred your nerves even more, and it was noticeable by the way the shake of the building picked up. 

“Wanda, what’s your location?” Steve queried

“Third floor.”

“Stay there, we’re coming. Be careful, she’s dangerous.” Steve warned

Deciding not to heed Steve’s comment, Wanda continued on with her attempt to calm you down, “Shh, it’s ok. What’s your name?”

“y-y/n” you squeaked out

“Y/N, such a pretty name. I’m Wanda,”

“Wan-da?” you tested the name on your tongue, still unsure about the woman standing before you. 

“Yes!” she exclaimed excitedly, “I’m here to help you,” she conveyed with a genuine smile. Her brows raised slightly as she spoke.

“No poke?” you whimpered, wanting to trust Wanda because she felt motherly but still reluctant.

“No, no poke.” she reached for you, “come on.”

You hesitantly took her hand as you stood on grounded feet beneath you, “where we go?”

“Home,” Wanda assured

Confused, you furrowed your brows and looked at the redhead, “I no have home”

Hearing you utter the words broke her heart, not only the fact that it may be true, but it was the way you knew it to be true that left her heart in little pieces, “That’s going to change, dorogoy.” 

“No, no leave,” you shook your head side to side as you removed your hand from hers and backed up until you made contact with the wall, “I be good, no ouchies,” you stated, worrying what they would do to you if they caught you trying to leave. 

Wanda kneeled down to your level, “no one will hurt you, ill make sure of it.”

Within a couple of seconds, the rest of the team arrived at your doorway. Seeing Steve and Clint in the doorway was enough to send your nerves into overload. Men, in general, scared you, everyone that you recalled causing you harm had always been male so you were much less likely to trust them. Their suits and weapons only helped to give you more anxiety that they were there to cause you pain, “NO! PLEASE!” you screamed as sounds of stray items hitting the floor echoed through the hallways.

“Wanda, we have to get her out of here” Steve stated in a stoic tone 

“Y/N, I need you to calm down for me, can you do that? Look at me,” she said trying her best to diffuse the situation without subduing you. 

All you wanted to do was cry out for your mama, you wanted to be held and told it will all be ok but you knew that wasn’t an option. You lost your mother and she’s never coming back, no one was coming to help ease your emotions, you’re all on your own and you only have yourself to protect you.  

At that moment, a crack bellowed through the ceiling causing a chunk to fall above your head. Without a second thought, Clint drew an arrow from his quiver and shot straight through the debris, breaking it into smaller pieces in an effort to protect you. From your point of view, you saw a man draw an arrow on you and miss just above your head, who knows what he’d do next? 

The action, in an involuntary attempt to protect yourself, caused shockwaves to erupt from your tiny form as you squealed and folded in on yourself. The building had already started crumbling, but this was the final straw that rained trauma on every support in the structure.

With the building on the verge of swallowing you all whole and Wanda’s attempts to calm you falling short, she knew she had to stop you, for your own safety. The crimson tendrils of magic flew out from her fingers to seep directly into your mind, quelling your thoughts instantly and leaving you in restful sleep. The building stopped shaking the second you were out, some damage remained but the structure was still standing. As your legs gave out underneath you, Wanda was there to catch you from the impending floor and bring you straight into her arms, holding you tightly. 

Wanda held you in her arms the entire flight. How could someone do this to such an innocent child, she thought. A part of her felt guilty for ever being a part of an organization that would go to such great lengths. You were sleeping, but the dreams swirling around in your head were far from quiet. To be truthful, being asleep was one of your favorite things, you were free to explore your own imagination in 4 dimensions instead of being confined to the cell the Hydra held you captive in. 

Natasha, knowing how hard this must be for Wanda, made her way over to sit next to the Sokovian. She placed a reassuring hand on Wanda’s thigh to show her that she’s there for her while Wanda zoned out, deep in thought. 

“She’s lucky you found her,” Natasha gently stated.

“I just, I don’t understand how someone could hurt her,” Wanda sighed, “To look into that little face and lock her in a cell,” her bottom lip quivered as tears threatened to spill over but she held them back. 

“I know, but now we can make sure no one ever hurts her again,” Nat offered. 

Wanda pulled her lips together and lifted her cheeks slightly to form a neutral expression of acknowledgment. After a beat of silence, Natasha wrapped her left arm around the redhead. Wanda melted into the Russian next to her, allowing her head to lean back onto her chest, “I’m not giving her up to Fury,” Wanda whispered. 

“I know.”

When the team lands, they immediately bring you to the medbay and Tony gets to work on an inhibitor for your powers. They gather a little blood so they can run tests and the only reason Wanda even lets them is that you're asleep and won’t be bothered. Once they've released you from the medical unit, Wanda takes you to her room to get cleaned up. 

“Don’t get too attached, Maximoff. We have to give her to Fury,” Steve called out as Wanda ignored him and made her way up the stairs with you. 

She gently lays you on the bed as she leaves to start running the bath water. As the water fills, she returns to your side and begins to shake you gently. The redhead was nervous to wake you before Tony finished the inhibitor, but she was confident that she could soothe you enough for a bath, “Y/N” she hummed to your laying figure on the bed, as you began to stir awake, “wake up, malyshka, it’s tubby time” 

The words rang into your ears, and in your waking stupor, you imagined you were back in your home with your mother. You stretched your arms above your head before opening your eyes to the sight of a smiling redhead looming above you. The same one from your cell, she told you her name, what was it? Oh right!

“Wana” you blurted

“Yes! Wanda,” the sokovian punctuated the d in her name that you had missed, “Come little one, let’s get you all cleaned up,” she said taking you in her arms and bringing you both into the bathroom. 

To her surprise, you had no negative reaction to waking up in a completely different environment. You felt safe with Wanda, and the room you were in was so much nicer than the cell you had been confined to that you didn’t see a reason to be scared. 

“Where are we?” you questioned, knowing you were no longer at the Hydra base, or at least nowhere that you had ever seen. 

“We are at the Avengers Compound,” Wanda explained, “This is my bedroom,” she continued as she took your clothes off, plopping them in the laundry bin and getting you settled into the tub. 

“A-bengers?” 

“Yes, have you heard of them before, Y/N?” Wanda wondered how much you knew

“No, neber”

“Well, the Avengers are superheroes, they save people.”

You let the words sink in as Wanda lathered soap into a cloth, “Abengers saved me?” you tried putting the pieces together. 

“We did,” Wanda began, rubbing the soft soap-filled cloth along your shoulders, “and no one will ever hurt you again.” Your gaze traveled upward to meet hers as a small smile crept onto your face. 

The feeling of being in a bath again made you so happy. The last time you had a bath, you were with your mother. Just being in the tub again brought back feelings of comfort. Wanda took her time to be gentle with you as she knew it was going to be a long bath. You had so much grime build-up in your hair from being neglected in a cell that she wasn’t sure if it would be best to just cut it off. Even though you needed extreme cleaning, she didn’t want to overwhelm you on your first day either. As long as she could get you clean enough to feel comfortable she would accept it for the time being. 

You continue to learn more about the avengers throughout your bath as you asked Wanda lots of questions. Your personality was finally getting to show itself, after almost a year of being buried.

“Friday, can you ask Nat to bring Y/Ns clothes upstairs?” Wanda called out to the AI intercom, “Sure thing, Ms. Maximoff!” it quickly notated.

Your eyes widened and your face lifted at the robot's voice, “Who’s dat?” you pointed in the air to try and pinpoint the direction of the voice

“That is Friday, she’s like uh- a robot assistant”

It doesn’t take long for Natasha to arrive with your clothes, “How’d it go?” she asks peering into the bathroom before walking in. 

“It went great! Y/N did so well!” she says beaming you with the brightest smile. The two girls get you dressed and bring you back into the bedroom. 

“She's a weapon and she needs to be handed over to the right people.” the three of you overheard Steve’s take on your custody as you entered the common room in Wanda’s arms. The redhead felt your body tense up as soon as the other Avengers came into view, “it’s ok malyshka, no one will hurt you here” she whispered toward you in an attempt to calm the anxiety that she knew was brewing within you. You nuzzled into her neck in response, feeling safe in her hold. 

“She’s not a weapon, she’s a child,” Natasha cut into Steve’s conversation with Tony, better her than Wanda for Steve’s sake, “have some compassion, Rogers”

“-with unchecked powers that could destroy this planet” Steve added, 

“So we keep them in check,” Nat stated without hesitation. 

“You’re not seriously considering keeping her here?” Steve shifted his weight to turn his attention to Natasha. 

“Why not? It’s the perfect place for her to learn how to control her powers.” A wave of relief washed over Wanda to see that she wasn’t the only one wanting to keep you around. 

“Because we aren’t running a daycare” Steve doesn’t let up, “She needs to be handed over to Fury.”

“Yea, well Wanda and I both know what it’s like to be experimented on at a young age, it’s not something you just get over. We have a real chance to give her a better life, teach her how to control her gifts, and make sure no one ever hurts her again.” 

“She’s staying here, and if Fury has an issue with that, he can come find me.” Wanda snarls as she walks through the common room with you toward the theatre.

Wanda sat you down in one of the La-Z-Boy chairs in the front row as she set up the movie, “any requests, malyshka?” wanda offered as she scrolled through some options on the screen

Your face lit up at the sight of the golden dog, “Doggy!” you exclaim with an outstretched arm towards the screen.

Your reaction causes a chuckle from Wanda, “Dug Days it is.” She smiled as she started the first episode.

The show had you on the edge of your seat, excited about what shenanigans the dog would be up to. It felt so good for you to finally be able to act like a kid again. You couldn’t help the thoughts swirling in the back of your brain of going back to the bad place. Before Wanda had a chance to start the next episode, you blurted out, ”Dey want me to leave?”

“What?”

“Da man, is he gonna make me leave?” you meet her gaze with doe wide eyes.

“No sweetie, this is your home now.” she gently assured you as she rubbed your back.

“Really? Home?” you tested the word once more now that it had real meaning to you. 

“Yes, come here” Wanda lifted the armrest that separated the two of you and wrapped her left arm around your shoulder allowing you to snuggle into her side as she clicked play on the next episode.

[robininthelabyrinth]

I'd like to see more of the Jiang Cheng has spider venom fic. Mostly because I want to see him bite someone else. How about a Jin?

Normal For the Spider - Extra: 5 People Jiang Cheng Bit, Some of Whom Deserved It

ao3

1 – Wei Wuxian

“So I’ve been exchanging letters with shijie on account of the whole theoretically banished business,” Wei Wuxian said as they strolled down the Qiongqi Path together, Wen Ning behind them making shy stuttering friends with the handful of Jiang sect disciples Jiang Cheng had brought along with him – he’d deliberately picked the friendliest and most social of the lot, the ones that acted like overgrown puppies and wanted to adopt everyone they met, and sure enough they’d mobbed Wen Ning like a bunch of crows intent on raising the poor little sparrow they found into a proper bird. It was no more than Wen Ning deserved, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion. Someone needed to socialize him, and clearly neither his sister nor Wei Wuxian were doing crap about it.

“That’s nice,” Jiang Cheng said. “If by nice you mean extremely suspicious. What about in particular?”

“Your family inheritance.”

“Is this about the summer house we have near that mountain lake? I told you, it’s been deserted for years and may possibly be haunted by something resistant to the usual liberation techniques, but if you really want to go there, you’re of course allowed…”

“That’s not the inheritance I meant and you know it.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. He did know it. “What questions do you have now?” he asked. “More medical stuff from Wen Qing?”

She’d recovered from the venom very well and immediately started wanting to know everything. Recovered a little too well, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion.

“No, this one’s for me,” Wei Wuxian said. “We’re going to Lanling City in order to let Jin Ling bite me as a way to establish familial ties and let him ‘absorb’ good aspects from my personality, right?”

Jiang Cheng nodded.

“So in some cases, biting is an act of affection?”

Jiang Cheng nodded, a little more warily.

“Then how come you’ve never bitten me?”

“It’s only affectionate when you’re a baby,” Jiang Cheng said. “Once you grow into your childhood venom, it starts being dangerous, even to family; you don’t do affection-bites after that point. And when you’re an adult…well, you saw Wen Qing!”

“Eh, she’s fine now,” Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. “I feel like I missed out! It’s not fair, Jiang Cheng. I deserve a bite! I’m practically your brother! We share essential bodily organs!”

“Wei Wuxian! Don’t talk about that!”

“Bite me and I’ll stop.”

“I’m not biting you just to make you stop being annoying –”

2 – Jin Zixun

“What are you doing here?!” Jiang Cheng demanded. “This is an ambush! Is the Jin sect considering waging an act of war against the Jiang sect?”

Jin Zixun scowled at him. “Not against the Jiang sect,” he said haughtily. “Against the Yiling Patriarch.”

“He’s my head disciple!”

That got a confused sort of frown. “But you banished him…?”

“Rumor,” Jiang Cheng said, with dignity, the way they’d always planned. “Baseless rumor, that’s all.”

Rumor he’d never denied, and had instead implicitly encouraged so that people would leave his Jiang sect alone for a little while as he gathered up strength and resources to tell them to fuck off.

“But…” Jin Zixun hesitated. “You just – attacked him?”

Jiang Cheng glared at Wei Wuxian, still lying prone on the ground with his head in Wen Ning’s lap to elevate it and his neck bandaged but still a little red – surely the paralytic had worn off by now?

Wei Wuxian noticed him staring and gave a jaunty little wave, grinning and very clearly regretting nothing, which meant that the paralytic had worn off and he was just lying there to be comfortable while watching the fun.

Typical.

“A friendly exchange,” he said, trying to maintain his dignity. “Also? Not the Jin sect’s business. What about you? What did you want with him?”

“I want him to remove the curse he cast on me,” Jin Zixun said, and he strode forward before Jiang Cheng could stop him and kicked Wei Wuxian in the side. “You hear me, you bastard?! I want the damn thing gone this instant or else –”

3 – Wen Ning

“So this is going to be a little awkward to explain,” Jin Zixuan said, rubbing his face. He looked tired, but that was possibly a side-effect of having Jin Zixun as a cousin. “Tell me, why are my cousin’s flunkies – er, I mean, my cousin’s friends convinced that it was Wen Ning that poisoned him?”

Jiang Cheng scowled.

“No offense meant,” Jin Zixuan added, nodding politely to Wen Ning. “It’s just, you know, you’re very much not a Yu, or even a Jiang.”

“No offense taken,” Wen Ning mumbled, though to Jiang Cheng’s eyes he looked a little pleased, even if his stiff wooden face still didn’t do emotions all that well. “It’s nice not to be automatically feared.”

“It’s because Wen Ning punched Jin Zixun in the face at the same moment that I bit him,” Jiang Cheng interjected, because someone needed to answer the actual question. “And then Jin Zixun fell over and someone started shouting about corpse poison – even though he’s obviously turned purple! Purple venom, purple spider, purple lightning…what part of this thematic color scheme is not obvious?!”

“Technically, the livor mortis spots generated by corpse poison are also purple,” Wei Wuxian said, completely unhelpfully. “According to Wen Qing, it’s the lack of oxygen in the blood pooling under the skin or something, which is the same thing your mom’s poison does.”

“Do you think you’re helping?” Jiang Cheng demanded.

“No, not at all. Did I sound like I was helping? I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m going to bite you again, you little…”

“My father isn’t going to want to let Wen Ning through the door if he’s considered a possible threat,” Jin Zixuan said, wisely deciding to carry on with the conversation despite their bickering. “You know he’s been saying all those things about how dangerous the Yiling Patriarch is – this’ll just feed into that.”

“I’m not going to Lanling City without Wen Ning!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. “Wen Qing made me promise! It’s his first time visiting such a big place, too!”

“I’m pretty sure Wen Qing made you promise not to leave him behind because she was worried about your well-being, not Wen Ning’s ability to be a tourist,” Jiang Cheng said.

“Doesn’t matter! I’m not leaving him, and I’m definitely not going to not attend the party, so you have to fix this!”

“I don’t know how to fix this –”

Wen Ning coughed lightly. “Uh,” he said. “Jin-gongzi…would your father let me in if I wasn’t a threat? Say, if I was unconscious?”

A moment of silence.

“…does venom work even on fierce corpses?”

“Of course it does,” Jiang Cheng said irritably. “It wouldn’t be much of a defense mechanism for a cultivator if it didn’t.”

4 – Jin Guangshan

“I didn’t mean to!” Jiang Cheng said, his hands over his mouth. “I really didn’t mean to! It’s Wei Wuxian’s fault!”

“How is this my fault?!” Wei Wuxian asked. He looked amused, which was never a good sign, and even less so given the extreme crisis of the situation. “I wasn’t even in the room.”

“You encouraged me to keep biting people as a solution to everything!” Jiang Cheng hissed. “It got me in the mood. I wasn’t thinking!”

He looked down at the unconscious (and swiftly purpling) Jin Guangshan and grimaced. There was no convenient Wen Ning to put the blame on this time: it had been just the two of them, Jin Guangshan and Jiang Cheng, alone in a room together. Jin Guangshan had wanted to have words with him, sect leader to sect leader, which mostly meant that he wanted to throw his weight and seniority around to try to brow-beat Jiang Cheng into doing what he wanted, except that wasn’t going to work because Jiang Cheng was prepared, okay, he’d worked so long and so hard to try to build up the Jiang sect until it could resist Jin sect pressure.

And he’d probably just ruined everything.

“He has legitimate grounds to declare war against us now,” Jiang Cheng said miserably. “Or maybe to demand that we hand over that stupid Tiger Seal he keeps bugging you about as reparations, or in order to keep him from declaring war…”

“We can’t let him have it,” Wei Wuxian said at once. “It’s far too dangerous. I’d destroy it, first.”

“But then he’d still have a reason to strike against us…”

There was the soft sound of someone clearing their throat, and at first Jiang Cheng thought it was Wen Ning but when he looked up it was Jin Guangyao, instead. He looked the same as always, gentle and personable and smiling, which struck Jiang Cheng as being unaccountably weird for some reason that he couldn’t figure out until he remembered that the man’s father was currently lying on the ground being poisoned and maybe Jin Guangyao shouldn’t be smiling so much.

“If you don’t mind,” Jin Guangyao said, “I might have a suggestion that would get rid of that problem…”

5 – Wen Qing

“…and long story short, Jin Guangyao is going to run Lanling Jin until Jin Zixuan is done having kids, which may be never based on the soppy looks he and my shijie keep exchanging, and we all have the Jin sect’s blessing to move back into the Lotus Pier,” Wei Wuxian concluded. “All’s well that ends well, right, Jiang Cheng?”

Jiang Cheng crossed his arms and glared, admitting nothing.

“I’ll be happy to move anywhere that has decent food,” Wen Qing remarked. “This damn place won’t even grow radishes properly, and it’s Yiling; the radishes should be practically growing themselves.”

“I’ve arranged for some farmland for your people,” Jiang Cheng said, because practicalities he could do. “There’s still lots left over from before the war, lying fallow, and some of the places are medicinal herb fields – we need people with cultivation to tend to those, so I figured that might work for you. You’d have half regular farmland, to make sure you can grow whatever food you feel you need to be comfortable, and the other half, the herbs, can be sold to the Jiang sect at profit.”

“That sounds good,” Wen Qing said.

“Especially since they’re medicinal herb plants,” Wei Wuxian chimed in. “You could stock up on medicines you need!”

“A lot of medicines have to be obtained through trade, you utter nincompoop! I can’t make medicine just using what a single medicinal herb field will generate!”

Jiang Cheng nodded approvingly, thinking to himself that at least there was someone else in the world who understood exactly how aggravating it was to have to deal with Wei Wuxian’s unbridled and illogical optimism on a regular basis.

“And as for you,” Wen Qing said, turning to Jiang Cheng, who blinked owlishly at her. “Don’t think I missed the part of that story about how biting people is a sign of affection!”

“It’s – what?! No, you don’t – that’s when we’re children– it’s –”

Wei Wuxian started cackling.

[missgeniality]

Opaline Moon (m)

“The Moon can never breathe, but it can take our breath away with the beauty of its cold, arid orb.” - Munia Khan

➺ Banner: @hobiandsprite​ 💕

➺ Pairing: Seokjin x Female Reader

➺ Trope: Friends to Lovers, Idol!AU

➺ Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

➺ Rating: 18+

➺ Word Count: 11.2k

➺ Summary: You are ingrained to love Jin, right upto the blood that courses through your veins. Confessing, however, is a whole other game. So it’s a good thing you’re bad at keeping your hands to yourself, because happenstance can handle the rest. 

➺ Warnings: talks about dance floor fucking, making out in the bar bathroom, fingering, pussy slapping, passing out drunk, daydreams about thigh riding, reader masturbates, they make out A LOT, neck kissing, a hickey, nipple play, some biting, cum eating (kind of, you’ll see), blowjob, protected sex!, reader and jin are corny, the hurt is real but the sex is real-er

➺ Author’s Note: My lovely, lovely moots - @taegularities​, @kithtaehyung​ and @baepsaetan​, thank you so much for betaing this and hyping it up, your comments made this fic a hundred times better! As I mentioned on the teaser, this fic took a lot out of me, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing the angst and will write more whenever the story aligns! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing, and I hope this lovable Jin reaches your heart! (ngl, in usual fashion, I will come back and edit it again, so if you see a spelling mistake, your eyes are lying to you) Do let me know what you think, your asks and comments make my day!

This is the second part of my Dress Down series, find more at it’s masterlist!

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ | ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

Sweltering heat. Blaring traffic. Little to no sleep. Through all things wrong, one man’s thoughts wrapped around you like a cooling breeze, a shield to protect you from the vicissitudes of reality, to draw you back into all of him. Unfortunately, your reality may never see that day come to light.

Kim Seokjin.

Kim Seokjin, the man who cooked you up a greasy break-up meal at three in the morning with not a sight of discomfort, putting your needs above all.

Kim Seokjin, whose puns make you roll your eyes heavenward, half awed at how he manages to pull one out of his collection at a moment's notice, and half irked by the untimely laugh it brings out of you.

Kim Seokjin, the man who will never be yours, and you have no one to blame but yourself. 

One could argue that the miscommunication that had caused this present condition was two-way. If you had stopped him, corrected him, let him know the truth… you wouldn’t have to resort to the extreme measures you’re currently entangled in. One would also say, you are trying to redeem your mistake by trying too hard. Surely, everyone and their mothers could see through your ruse. 

This is the fourth time you’re visiting Jin for his BE shoot - a shoot taking place two hours away from the city, disguised under various layers of secrecy to prevent any leakage of the album concept, or Jin in general. Of course, you had been made privy to such exclusive information, because you and Jin were ‘best friends’. 

Best. Friends.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Best friends. The term you coined for (and forced upon) the bond you had. The bond that was too close to sprouting into something new, something fresh, something that was filled with glimmering allure and dragged you in like quicksand. But also, it reeked of commitment, of shadows, of newness that you hadn’t felt in the longest time, and fear of already being far too deep in without even taking the first step. 

The loud thrum of some internet kid’s new hit pulses through the air of the club as bundles of couples occupy the dance floor, laughing and gyrating to a song that, in your opinion, most definitely does not suit gyrating. But with enough of the weekend happy hours intake combined with hormone-riddled minds, one could very well throw it back to a church choir. 

You weave through the drunken bodies, trying not to spill the precariously held three drinks in your hands, making your way to your inner circle, the only people to blame for dragging you to this slosh-fest.

“Y/N!” 

Somehow Hoseok’s voice can echo across the club, but you didn’t even need his addressal because Jin’s laughter is loud enough to navigate anyone to your table. Seeing you struggle with the glasses (and mostly the crowd, with some of them living their exhibitionist dreams), Hoseok gets up to assist you.

“I swear, if I see one more couple pretending to be dancing as they rub one off of each other’s thighs, the black market will have my eyes.”

“Oh yeah?” Jin’s breathy voice interjects your black-market dreams, still bursting in short laughs from whatever sent him rolling before your arrival. “Why don’t you go join them?”

“And whose thigh is she taking, yours?” Yeji snorts out, one hand holding her nebula blue drink, the other wrapped around Hoseok, urging him to come closer. Jin’s features scrunch into a cringe, and you’re thankful for the dim lighting because the disappointment in your features does not reach them.

“The only action these leather pants are getting is in the damned laundromat,” he points to his shiny trousers, “some jerk dropped his drink on it.”

“You could be the first person to give some chick an orgasm and a yeast infection.” Hoseok giddily adds, his fifth shot clearly making a mess of his brain cells. 

Jin claps and gets up to move away from the group. “Better than a pregnancy!” he yells, before zigzagging through the crowd, possibly to the restroom. He is on his third cocktail, and you’d think cocktails are lighter drinks. But in this bar, their taps just seem to flow with tequila, and it is very evident in the way Jin is currently walking.

His absence hits you harder than you think, but it might be the alcohol talking. Jin has always been the mood-maker of the group, the one who brings everyone together. Of late though, his magnetic persona has been an irritant in your life. Any outing you two take, any chance you have to come clean about the burgeoning crush you have on him, is effectively disrupted by one of his posse. And today, Hoseok and Yeji took that trophy. 

“Earth to Y/N. Has the cocktail finally broken you?”

You flutter your eyes in a manic fashion, to disperse the daydream you were indulging yourself in, and bring your attention back to the couple calling for you. Surprisingly, they have stood up, Yeji emptying the last of her neon drink. 

“What happened?”

“We are going to the club nearby, they have better stuff. And that’s code for ‘they actually add water to the drink and the surround sound doesn’t shatter your ear drum’.’” 

She isn’t wrong. The cocktails and music here are a 19-year-old frat party dream, not something the working class can digest. But you’re tired at this point, and don’t want to be smothered by someone else’s love life when your own is down the dumps.

“You guys carry on! I’ll tell Jin where you are and he’ll meet you there!”

You watch as Hoseok and Yeji lead each other to the exit, hands circling their partner’s waist. They giggle on and on, about nothing and everything, and it only hardens the emptiness you feel inside you. 

Why can’t you gather the balls to spit your feelings out? What could possibly go wrong? Yes, you may lose one of your closest friends, but is this friendship really worth the agony? The bitterness you feel when you see any couple enjoying themselves? The anger you harbor whenever Jin tells you about his dates? The heartache, when he hugs you and tells you that you’re the best thing that’s happened to him… as a friend? Is it? Your plastered brain tells you to not make any rash decisions, so you don’t, instead choosing to get up and search for your best friend. 

The corridor leading to the washrooms is dimly lit, throwing a merlot filter over your eyesight, making you squint in search of your friend. You being shitfaced does not help, and while relishing in your floating wooziness, you see Jin come out, and feelings you’ve held at bay for so long slither through your currently porous defenses. 

He has always been good-looking. He himself has said so a dozen times.

But wow.

His hair lays messily atop his beautiful face, unkempt, like a breeze of beauty swept across his mighty looks and displaced every strand, causing disarray, but even the disarray only frames his superior looks and adds to its potent charm. The black, patchy sweater hanging loose off his broad shoulders makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel as a friend. That stupid gut of yours is currently screaming, yelling for all hands on deck, trying to block all the feelings from gushing in and sending you into overdrive.

By the time you can gather yourself to stop from giving in to those dangerous thoughts, Jin has crossed the distance between you, coming close, too close. Chocolate-brown eyes peer into your soul, searching for whichever fantasy you chose to lose yourself in. His eyes flit down to notice your rumpled dress that has found its way a couple of inches above its designated spot. His gaze returns to yours, but not without a newfound hardness, an almost steely glaze over the kindness that you usually find in the chocolate pools, accentuated under the garnet lighting. 

“Hey, umm…” You beg for a reprieve, from your thoughts, from your filthy mind, from the way he is eyeing your cleavage, or just for the burning between your legs. You’re about to make some serious mistakes, you can feel it down to your bone.

You’re far too overdressed. 

You knew it when you were in the process of getting dressed, but right now, you feel it much more - you look like a shiny disco ball orbiting amidst the plethora of loose tees, leggings and flannels. Everything screams comfort, because the amount of work they’re putting into this begs for it. 

The strappy lace sundress you wear is extremely out of place, the halter-neck tie behind your neck fastened a little looser than necessary, giving your breasts the exposure they deserve, a nice valley view. Your dress skirt, adorned with pretty frills and dainty flowers, cut across your thigh to frame your petite hips. You are one floppy sun hat away from an extravagant Greek cruise - and in the moment you wish you had one to hide your face in shame. 

You’re just out here, trying to escape the zone. 

“Oh, would you look at the time, it’s tits out Tuesday already?”

Your eyes roll before Sanghoon even finishes his sentence, because you wouldn’t expect anything else from him. On the team of the set design, he is carrying a whole drapery worth of plush, mauve curtains, struggling with the slipping fabric. But apparently not struggling enough to stop him from getting his nose into your business, it seems.

“Literally not even a time you just mentioned. Can’t get one thing right.” You can’t stop yourself from stretching a hand out to feel the curtain fabric, the satiny sheets begging to be touched. Before you can though, Sanghoon moves away, not allowing you to shift the focus of the conversation.

“Don’t steer away from the facts. Your tits.”

“That’s the fact?”

“They’re out.” He bucks up, trying to point with the hand stuffed underneath all the cloth. “That’s the fact.”

“Ugh, can’t a girl dress up once in a while?” The pointed attention makes you uncomfortable, because everything he’s insinuating is true. With every passing staff member, you count a new shade of grey, interspersed with occasional blacks and greens, a stark contrast to your floral overtones. Amidst the thousand footsteps taken in your vicinity, only yours are pointed heels, echoing across the studio with every clack. But you’re a stubborn one, refusing to give in to his totally valid argument. “I just woke up early.”

“Girl.” Like light through frosted glass, he sees through your bullshit, but only partially. “You put an alarm to dress up? I have nightmares of the boss brandishing her whip and telling me to get into position, and even that doesn’t wake me up.” 

“Have you ever considered��� not announcing your kinks to everyone and their sisters?”

“Ehh,” he simply shrugs, “nothing is new when you’ve serenaded your boss drunk in a karaoke bar and still managed to keep your job. Wait. Is that highlighter?”

“Stop staring into my tits!” You can’t believe you got caught, but also, who can you blame? After testing this outfit out from the crack of dawn, you decided your cleavage needed some extra help. Three YouTube tutorials and one TikTok lady - who make it look far easier than it is - down, the contouring brought out the swell of your breasts, and against the light fabric of your dress, it does look too good to be true.

Memories of that night in the bar come in billows and waves, of how enamored Jin was with the way your boobs looked at that time. Even under the dingy lighting, in the cramped space, under heavily inebriated scrutiny, you couldn’t miss the flicker of heat in his gaze every time it passed your chest. 

One thing led to another, and it was a cascade none of you could stop. The heat of attraction between you two does not help your wandering mind, and the fever drowns the knowledge that what you’re feeling is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, crossing some lines that can never be mended back again. With the proximity, his musky scent invades whatever defenses you were trying to patch, piercing through all your inhibitions and you pull him into you, claiming his lips to be yours. 

With his wobbly knees and your wobbly heels, you somehow find your way to the washroom - mostly he does, you give in halfway to wrap your legs around his lean waist, his sturdy legs balancing your weight on them as your back hits the wall, and his lips tear down your walls. 

“You look so fucking sexy today,” between bated breaths and indulgent sighs you confess, “just driving me nuts.” Letting your hands drag along his abdomen, feeling the ups and downs of his abs, you attempt to rid him of the sweater that’s been on your hit list all night. But to your dismay, your endeavor is blocked, when Jin gathers your wrists in his palm, turning you around to bend you over on the countertop, the smooth marble chill hitting your braless chest, perking your nipples under the cold. 

“And you?” Jin bends to give your earlobe a languid lick, progressing very slow, a complete contrast to the movement of his hips as he ruts against your ass, your already short dress bunching up with every move. “You think it’s smart to have your tits torment me like this?” Grabbing a handful from behind, he tests the weight of each fleshy mound, and by now you are certain your perked nubs can pierce his palm. 

His free hand, not yet torturing you, decides to get in on the action and disappears under the counter, swiftly crossing the bunched fabric of your dress, gaining easy access to your pussy. The cold touch of his pads sears against the heat of your core, finding your pleasure button and languidly fiddling with it, with no intention to cross you over the brink in sight. The only pleasure you can indulge in is the reflection of him abusing your nipples, pinching and tugging them down, whispering filthy words into your ear as he takes in your fucked out countenance. 

You feel lacking, weak hands balancing your dizzy self, finding purchase to keep you upright - but you’re both drunk on alcohol and hypnotized by his beauty to do much more than stare at his mirrored counterpart. “For fuck’s sake, kiss me.” 

How he understood your slurred words, you don’t know, but you are glad he did. In a moment you’ve been displaced, the hurried motion sending your neurons into a flurry. Once your back meets the hard marble, and your eyes have the privilege to see his, you pull him in closer, the force enough to hold you against the wall while your legs wrap around his lean waist. 

Originally not a fan of drunken misadventures, that side of yours is strangely mute to the going current onslaught. Well, you don’t have much breath left to say anything, because Jin is efficiently stealing it all, his teeth clashing with yours as you engage in the messiest kiss ever known to mankind (or at least, to you). He changes pace often, dragging his tongue leisurely against your lower lip, conveying tacit words, just to switch it up with a sharp bite and reel you in. 

One corner of your senses can feel his fingers messing around your cunt, and playing with the wetness your thong can barely contain. It makes you shudder, the damage that his fingers can cause solely circling around your hole. 

“Fuck me.” 

In your drunken stupor, you don’t know if the words leave you right, but you get confirmation when his long fingers finally penetrate your cunt, giving your walls something to clench on - although nothing could possibly compare to what you imagine you can get from his dick.

“God, you feel that grip,” he grunts, with two of his fingers in you, and Jin’s smile is the most sinister you’ve ever seen. “I think we should take this home,” is what his lips utter, but his fingers delve deeper, searching for the spot that crumbles you. The base of his palm grinds against your throbbing clit, and you are forced to bite down on this sweater, lest an embarrassingly loud moan escapes you and cues outsiders into your filthy doings. 

“Now,” you half-hiss, half-growl as you grab the cusp of his legs to feel his half-hard erection grow under the pressure of your hand. Your palm sliters up just to go down again, this time without the blockade of his pants, but you are stopped short of success when Jin’s fingers slip out of you to give you a sharp swat. 

“Stubborn, aren’t we? Can’t fucking wait,” he whispers into your ear, and as he envelops your lobe with his cushiony lips, he continues, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

No, no, no. 

Your brain rejects logic, chews and spits it out before any of the rationale seeps into you. You have wanted this for far too long. The need inside you for a meaningful relationship materializes in the form of recklessness, desperately looking for surface-level relief for the moment. A night of sewing sutures to your battle-worn heart, stitches that may come off at the slightest strain - but right now, that will do. 

“Please, Jin,” your tantalizing tone riles up his cock again, eagerly waiting for your next words, “can’t you feel me dripping? Come on, I can take you.”

“Fuck, hear that wetness.” He lets his palm slap against your sopping entrance, not stopping with one. With every slap, droplets of your arousal splash out, the insides of your thighs coated in the sticky sweetness, but your body is an endless reservoir producing plentiful more for Jin to play with. “Have you been sitting with this all this time?”

Two long fingers invade your channel again, leaving you with no response other than a gasp. They scissor incessantly, preparing you for what could be the railing of your lifetime. One curl inside and his fingertips hit the spot he was looking for, making you warp your body to take the pleasure coursing through your veins. His tongue seems to mimic the actions, looping around your earlobe as he sucks it inside, both ends of your body engulfed in all the attention he could provide. 

Your cunt is weeping against the assault of this man’s hands, tears of your cum flowing down your legs with every pump of his arm. You are getting there, the sweet swell of release inching closer and closer.

But something doesn’t feel right.

The tightness in your belly, that is to a point caused by Jin, is harboring other sensations that are not entirely pleasant. Maybe you’re anxious about the happenings. Maybe you haven’t had a good orgasm in a while and have just forgotten how this thing works.

Or maybe, the bar should have the water tap actually give out water.

Either your eyes close, or your brain does, but suddenly all you can see is darkness.

 Again, you are just trying to escape the zone.

“Step under those studio lights,” pointing at the too-bright stage lights being set up at the moment, Sanghoon continues, breaking your daydream, “I bet you could signal to aliens with the booby-reflection. Call them to Netflix and chill.”

“In about five seconds, my heel will be puncturing your eye. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” 

Sanghoon’s drivel was cut short, and so were your murder plans, with his entry. “Oh look, he’s on set. Gotta go!” 

It’s like the lights, earlier threatening to burn away your skin, dim down in reverence of the glow of his face. The twinkle of his eyes when they meet yours. The shine of his smile when he throws you one. The vibrance of his tone when he calls out your name. Everything he does now threatens to burn you whole and it’s a wonder you’re not scalding, but the singe hurts you deep inside.

“Y/N! How do I look?” It’s a bathrobe. Like satin, or silk. Fucking hell, your brain could explode with the adjectives coming up, a whole chunk of them very much inappropriate to utter out in the current scene. Your arms want to rise, engulf him into you, and you have to physically halt the muscles from doing anything stupid. Brain, quick! Say something snarky and spicy, as best friends do!

“What’s the theme, unicorn puke?” The safest way to deflect is to attack. So you do just that. “You look like you dressed out of Hannah Montana’s closet. Which if it's true, I really need to see it. There’s a top that I’ve been eyeing for decades!”

“Don’t say decades.” Jin’s eyes crinkle in humor. “Makes me feel so old. Your dress is pretty cool too!” 

Cool.

You find out how difficult life can be when you count every single minute of yours. So far, you have counted 4,310 minutes. That is two days, twenty-three hours, and fifty minutes. Ten more minutes and it will be three whole days since you and Jin spoke. 

Yet again, you can’t blame him. When you came to the next day, you were in your bed, clad in the same shimmering silver bodycon that you had donned last night. The same one that had been privy to the colorful deeds you had committed in what was a dreary, colorless setting. 

One ibuProfen and ginger ale, downed with some severe recollections of the previous night, and you had been ready to throw it all up again. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

Words couldn’t describe what you were going through, and numbers weren’t invented to count the endless thoughts racing in your brain. You don’t know what is more upsetting. The fact that you actually had a chance to open your heart and you totally let your pussy think instead? Or that he was the one coherent enough to stop you from getting too far, and you let your desperation get the best of you? Everything about that night was wrong. And all the wrongs lie on your side. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

In the moment, it was physical, he had to have meant that. But there was a tremor in his voice, you can remember clear as day, a slightly shaken side of him had emerged through the intoxication, and the words he had breathed were not shallow. There was a gravity to them, that you’d stupidly ignored in the heat of the moment.

And now, here you are. Counting up till the last minute, after which you can effectively call the friendship ruined. Stirring your tea mindlessly, you try to focus on the show on TV, the variety show comedy not striking the usual funny bones that they could 4,311 minutes ago. 

The programmed ding of your phone bursts your thought bubble, a sound you have missed the past 72 hours. The ring you dedicated to Jin, that always had you running to receive because anything he sends brightens your day. But unlike those happier times, this ring has your gut fall into a pit of despair, struggling to choose between dispersing the suspense or remaining blissfully unaware of the damage you caused.

Jin: Free tmrw? We could grab coffee Jin: And talk

Talk. How? You barely remember what went down, save for fleeting moments that you recollected with great difficulty. Your fingers type back, trying to mimic the nonchalance in his text, that is very much absent in your actual demeanor.

Y/N: Sure. Paik’s at 1? Jin: Yup. See ya

Three texts, zero laughs. Of course, you’re not expecting him to land his jokes in this situation, even someone as talented as he can’t flip this tension. You’re just going to have to wait for tomorrow, when he decides whether you have a place in his life or not. 

The painstakingly worn outfit, accessorizing the whole look, the straps of your heels digging into your toes, the specks of makeup dust lying stale on your collar bones, the shine faints at that word. Cool. A perfectly normal phrase for a normal friendship. You are left maimed, while he absent-mindedly tends to the rope of his robe, blissfully unaware of the cyclonic emotions churning inside you. All you can possibly do is gulp it down. 

He runs his hands through his hair, beautiful locks coming out of place, and from one corner of the set, a groan of anguish emerges. 

“Oppa! Don’t play with your hair and face.” A masked lady runs forward waving combs that look like artillery, “We just got done setting it!”

Some finger guns, a happy apology, and some silly jokes later, all the stylists merrily round up to undo his doing, and Jin signals to you to catch up later. And as he walks away, the strings tugging at your heart reappear, as they do every time you come to meet him.

You have a masochistic streak in you, putting yourself through this every day, when he had made it clear, that you two never stood a chance. 

As if things aren’t already difficult, he looks like a dream. 

Soft, snowy skin gleaming like it has personal lighting wherever it goes, you get flashes of the rarely witnessed sweat on his skin, from the ferocity of last night. He’s blowing away the foam of his cappuccino, and tiny bubbles float into the air before falling flat on the table, like an animated shine that follows him along. God has His favorites, and God makes sure all the lighting in the world is perfect for these favorites. 

In no hurry, you wait at the counter to get your latte. After receiving it though, you can’t linger any longer and drag yourself to the table of doom.

“Hey.”

If the rasp in your voice is evident, he doesn’t show any recognition on his face. But you’ve learned to never trust an acting major. 

“Hi. How are you doing?”

Inadvertently, a snicker escapes your lips. “Are you interviewing me for a job?” you joke, trying to disperse the heavy air, filled with unspoken words. “If so, at least know that I’m very expensive.”

The familiar windshield wiper laugh does not greet you. Dead silence does. The half-smirk he painfully gives you is heavy, and the furrowed brows haven’t an inkling of joy. It shoots daggers in your heart, to know that you are the reason for this jolly man’s despondency. 

“Listen, I don’t think we should skirt around the issue too much. It happened, these things happen. You think Hoseok and Yeji didn’t have sex before making it official?”

His matter-of-fact nature isn’t new to you. Jin has always been a very practical man. Regardless of his inane sense of humor, his logical point of view has always been flawless. 

But right now, at this very moment, logic isn’t what you are looking for. You are looking for answers, but as far withdrawn from logic as possible, to take the edge off of the tension-laden air that surrounds your table.

“Yeah, but even… unofficially… we aren’t a thing, right?” 

Your abrupt question takes Jin unaware, almond eyes widening, like a toddler caught in an act. 

“No, no! Of course not! I would never!” 

His confession slips out with an ease that hurts you, digs deep to carve out the part of you that dreamt of anything more. Your eyes fall to your knees to avoid his perceptive gaze, the sting clear as the sky on a summer day. 

You force a smile and continue. “Then there’s no issue. Anyway,” you gulp your coffee down, burning your throat, but it's a distraction from the burning inside, “I need to get to work. Anything else?”

He’s still searching you, for what, you can’t possibly fathom. From the looks of it, he should be happy with this homeostasis; he doesn’t even know what this means for you. To still stay suspended in limbo, not being able to move up or down, to continue having thorns digging into your beating soul as you watch him like nothing bothers your already frail feelings. Scene by scene, you can visualize the future, him distancing himself from you as he finds the one he calls his, with you left in the shadows. Your knees tremble in fear of the impending future.

Seeing you in a tizzy, he calls out, the voice too loud for the cafe and your mind’s prison cage. 

“We’re still best friends, right?” If you knew better, you’d say his expression is that of sadness, of regret. But your judgment is clouded with your own bothers, and you interpret it as a look of pity. Like a lovesick puppy, kicked to the streets, with nowhere to call home. 

“Yeah! Always.” You give it as much enthusiasm as you can muster. 

Best friends.

Ropes wind around your heart, tugging and causing the deep ache that sets in as you walk back into your dreary building. Each string pulls you into a different dimension where you could move on, where you could be okay with the setting you had just agreed to. Where you would keep up your end of the promise and truly remain friends with him.

But no matter how strong the tug, your heart never yields, never lets go of the castle of dreams you built, staying steadfast in its own misery, choosing to hope, choosing to live the life of unrequited love.

“And that’s a wrap! Good job everyone!”

Applause and hurrays echo across the set to bring you back to the present. The shoot has officially concluded, which means it's time for your most favorite and least favorite part of the day - Jin and you doing best friend things, like grabbing lunch, gossiping about obnoxious coworkers, threatening to disembowel each other (in Mortal Kombat, of course) and other friendly activities. 

Ever so respectful, Jin takes his time thanking every member of the set, regardless of whether they moved a cushion or held the reflector screen for hours. All the women gush over his beauty, reminding him of how, even amidst the glowing ornaments, his face was the brightest. His responses vary, from quiet little giggles, to complimenting the crew for making it happen, to straight up owning his charisma like a boss. That’s your man. 

Well, not quite. Not one bit.

After exhausting the handshakes and hugs to be received, Jin walks to you, hands pushing his robe back to give it a cape like effect. You’re just glad that the man’s child persona still stays with him, no matter the situation.  He guides you to his green room, cracking his bones on the way, (very sexily, might you add).

“Holding a pose for that long gives me cramps! You’d think dancing breaks my back, and you’d be wrong.”

You’re desperately avoiding looking at his fingers, and keep your eyes below them - shoot! His ceaseless stretching gives you a glimpse under his shirt - it is dragging your memories back to the last time you saw them, and you’d rather not. It is hurting you in more ways than one. 

Eye contact is your safest bet. Looking up, you give him a lopsided grin. “Your grandfatherly days are approaching, Jinnie.” 

“Hey!” 

The rest of the conversation was less speaking, more yelling and chasing after each other to the green room, Jin taking mock-offence at your jab at his age, and his fingers reaching out to flick your forehead in retort. In your noisy, messy fashion, you both finally enter the room, dim gold light bulbs and shiny mirrors meeting your huffing self. 

One hand on your knee, you hold on to Jin’s arm with your other, gasping for breath. 

“Your grandmotherly days are already here, Y/N,” he snorts, and earns a kick on the shin, but that doesn’t stop him from bursting into snickers.

“Wow, why does one man need 4 mirrors?” You gape at his current green room, mouth wide open. It looks better than your entire apartment, with the counter carrying top-of-the-line makeup products. Only the best for this man. “So you can admire yourself from 4 different angles?”

Jin has disappeared into one of the inner rooms, but you can hear him snort at your comment. “Come on, I’m not that conceited. When the whole crew shoots together, the extra mirrors help.” The last part of that sentence is muffled, and that cues you into an important fact. 

Jin is currently changing into something more comfortable.

A process that includes him getting naked.

Well maybe he doesn’t get fully naked, top on, top off, bottom on, bottom of-

Still. You’re sweating like a whore in church. 

And things only get tougher when he finally comes out. 

The ocean blue sweater he dons is tucked in. Who tucks in sweaters? Kim Seokjin. Why does he tuck sweaters? Oh, because he’s got an amazing waistline that he should most definitely show off, and the heat between your thighs becoming increasingly potent is a testament to that. You pretend to adjust your heels, giving the right expressions to show you’re in pain, but in actuality you are bringing your legs closer to get you some relief, just any relief. 

Ripped jeans too. You get a peek of the thighs you were denied access to the night of the fuckening. Ridged and beautiful, not a speck in sight to mar his perfection. You are glad the facial expressions for pain and pleasure are not far apart, because your thighs, albeit very lacking, are helping the imagery in your head. Just Jin, seated on one of these leather chairs, and you straddling his thigh, clit aching against the strands of the rips in his denim, the fabric soaking up the wetness, with every push forwa-

“Now that you mention it, I do look dashing.”

And there goes that dream. 

You pinch his cheeks in adoration, the vulgarity of your thoughts getting whitewashed by his silliness and blooming heart-shaped flowers in their stance. You feel your own pinch in you, wondering if this scene would be the same had you blurted your feelings out that day at the cafe.

It's times like these when you remind yourself why you choose to quieten that side. This dynamic cannot reincarnate in any other form. Any imbalance to this equilibrium could cause a serious case of best-friends-turn-awkward-acquaintances, and you don’t know if that’ll hurt you more than you currently do. You don’t plan on finding out.

But on God, he tests that resolution every single day.

Jin doesn’t even hint that he knows of the turmoil blasting behind your eyes. He nonchalantly fixes his hair, gives you a one-over as you are mentally undressing him, nonchalantly as well. Then he moves to grab his cologne, and two spurts disintegrates all the whitewashing and takes you back into the obscenities you were unfolding. 

“So I’ll just go over the shoot photos, and then we can leave! You’re cool waiting here?”

“Hmmn, yeah!” You don’t let your mouth run any longer, fearing what might slip out. 

He gives you a wide, innocent smile. “Great! See you in a bit.” Poor guy. If only he knew how debase plans you were conjuring just from the aroma of his cologne. 

It is musky, like cedar or pine, perfectly suiting him. It is the same scent you remember inhaling, face stuffed in his sweater when he was fingering you to the tenth circle of hell. As he walks away, the fragrance diminishes, save for the slightest hint of lingering. You search for the source, and find the culprit strewn across the sofa.

The outfit Jin wore for the shoot held remnants of the perfume, and when you bring the shirt close and take a long, deep whiff, you transport yourself to the land of your dreams. You relish the fever smell of his cologne, mixed with his own natural scent, deciding that this is what you wish to smell like every waking morning.

Your longing for him has crossed way beyond physical boundaries. You longed for his love, longed for his attention. Longed to be the one that brings the light to his face. From morning rays to the darkness of the night, you wanted to experience it all by his side. To be his lone star, shining bright beside the moon. 

Your hands are moving without your control, disrobing you of your thirst trap of a dress and putting on Jin’s shirt instead. One look at the mirror and you let out a silent groan - it fits you just right. Just enough to cover your ass cheeks, loose enough to let the air conditioning hit your heated pussy. While well-fitting shirts have never been the cornerstone of a successful relationship, your delusional mind takes whatever wins it gets.

Adding layers to your pipe dream, you don the robe that gave you a tough time throughout the shoot. When you press the tails of the robe to your cheek, the softness of the material is soothing. Soft, like Jin’s eyes, like his hugs, like his smile. Like him.

Leaning against the counter, you steady yourself, mind split in titillation. Your fingers find their own path, drawing circles on your breasts over his shirt, imagining Jin’s long fingers in place. While teasing your nipple to pointed peaks, you slip your other hand under your panties, trying very hard to mimic his digits, twiddling your clit between your fingers. Alas, the effect isn’t achievable, because Jin seems to know how to play you better than yourself. 

The scent is getting stronger, without any provoking, and it is doing wonders for your immersion. You let out a loud moan when your fingers press inside, and you’re just glad no one can witness this.

“Y-Y/N?”

Fuck.

You are pulled away from your dreamland that was so impenetrable that you didn’t hear Jin step into the room. All the blood gushing to your nether regions has made a U-turn to flood your brain to think of a plausible explanation for this position. Instead it makes you giddy, and when you try to stand you wobble in your heels, to be rescued by what you think is a very scandalized Jin. 

Time stands still when your eyes meet, and what you see are blown out pupils trembling, many questions fluttering between you two. Jin crosses a tenth of the distance between you, lips flutter as they try to make a decision - do they want to part and give way to the voice of question? The voice of reason? The voice that will break this hush, burst this bubble where he has the one chance to give in to his longing?

You bring your lips closer, and cause immense disquiet in his dome, the way of his heart gathering speed against rationale. Your eyes dance between matching his gaze and finding his lips, every fraction of an inch you cross sending tremors through you. You can feel the shockwaves traverse through your body, making a pitstop at your lips, tingling them awake. They move downwards, passing your heart, beating it wildly against its cage, and then to the pit of your stomach to tighten in anticipation; finally reaching the tip of your toes, where you stand right now, a nanoscopic distance between you. Each one of you is afraid to cross the bridge, unaware of the other’s desires. 

Finally, Jin acqueises and meets you on your side. 

Atomic explosions ring through your head, clearing out every single thought that is not about Jin’s lips on yours. The ropes that held your heart from beating to the tune of your want, they’ve loosened their knots to give you the leeway to love freely. As your lips exchange positions, his teeth lightly drag across your plush petal, and it brings back the most important part of that night that you couldn’t recollect - the one where his lips sang wordless songs of adoration against yours. Blind as a bat, you were.

You dig your fingers into his hair, not minding your residual arousal coating his locks, and you feel his hands doing the same to you. With your eyes closed, you feel a rough edge to his cushiony soft lips, but Jin fixes that mistake - one stray strand of hair trapped in the middle of your indulgence - he pulls it away to give you all of the kiss. The hand tucked in your tresses pushes in, silently demanding more access, and you’re nothing but ready to give it.  

His tongue sneaks in to play a game with yours - when you seek it, it goes into hiding, finding perfect pleasure in soft, sweet kisses, but when you stay, it comes back in, awakening your tongue to deepen again. Everything he is doing is too much and not enough in one go, and you whine into his mouth in desperation, seeking some well-earned relief after months of holding back.

Amidst the flurry of your lips, your back hits the vanity countertop, and Jin pushes away everything on top to make space for you, not caring what expensive item flies down the counter to accommodate your ass.

As if you’ve made up for the months of holding back, the softness of the kisses erodes, teeth coming into play more and more, reminiscent of the night that went by in a blur. He swallows every mewl you give in return, blissed out beyond repair, your neediness making his cock strain against the denim. 

His hand snakes down, spreading his fingers to get a hold of your back to push you towards him, covering any gap that dared to intervene. Now unworried about the shoot, your hands have effectively ruined his perfectly placed locks and messed them up to resemble the craze he let you spin in.

Before he can glide his tongue back in, you break the kiss, lest you lose yourself in it to the point where you forget to breathe. With attached foreheads, you take deep drags of air, letting the oxygen flow to your brain before you make some ill-advised, unclarified decisions.

“I- I was jus-”

“Shhh. Wait,” he breathes out, wanting to take a second and fully savor the moment. You nod in return, making his head move along with yours.

After sufficient air fills his lungs, Jin starts. “Y/N, we should stop.”

Last time this had happened, you had tried to force your way through his barrier, without giving his feelings a second of consideration. So this time, you don’t repeat your mistakes. “Tell me why.”

“Because, I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I’m way deeper in this than you think.”

“Jin, I-”

“Let me finish.” He stops you before you can explain how much you reflect his emotions, possibly more. He doesn’t seem to want to listen now. “Let me finish, or else I’ll chicken out, for the millionth time.”

You’re dumbfounded. Millionth time? When was the first? Acting majors, by God. 

“I love you, Y/N.”

No, now you are dumbfounded. Your hands, holding his precious locks, drop down in shock, at sheer disbelief that all this time, he has been ready and waiting to return you the favor. Jin though, misinterprets it as a look of disdain. 

“I-I know I do, and I’m sorry that I do. I know you don’t feel the same way. You can hate me all you want, but this is the truth.”

“And yes,” he continues, refusing to halt for even half a second, afraid that the courage he mustered to confess would dissipate the moment he does, “I’m attracted to you, and I don’t know what went down here --” flicking his wrist to mention your (his) outfit, “--but I’m looking, okay? And I’m hard as fuck. But that’s not all there is to it.”

“I need all of you.” He takes an audible gulp, trying to stymy his emotions from overpowering him. “I want to take you out, I want to hold you hand, I want to bring you to all the places I love. I want to introduce you to people, not as my best friend, but so much more than that. It hurts me,” bringing his hand to his chest, he emphasizes the point of pain by clutching over his heart, “hurts to call you that because I’m lying through my fucking teeth.”

You break eye contact, because there are tears smarting your eyes at his heartfelt revelation. You can’t believe the idiot that you have been all this while. The man of your dreams stands in front of you, baring his soul, and you can’t even do him the decency of telling him what you felt yourself before jumping his bones.

And you love him, too. Maybe you haven’t said so, even to yourself, but you’ve known all this while.

You love him.

“If you are just looking for a fuck, or want any sort of a ‘benefits’ situation, we should stop. I can’t lie to myself anymore.”

“Jin, my God,” you half-sigh, half-laugh, feeling a burden lift off of you after months of pining.

“You don’t have to pacify me, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” Even in this moment, he is looking out for you. His lips are curved upward to show you that he’s okay, but his pupils are shaky and restless, not in sync with his smile. You hope your next words can fix that for him.

“Pacify you? Hate you?” You shoot him an incredulous look, one you will explain to him very soon. “You are a much better person than I am, Jinnie. For months now, I’ve loved you, but even at this point, I didn’t stop to tell you.” The guilt of letting your hormones cloud your judgement for the second time lays heavily on your conscience. “I’m sorry for not making this clear earlier, but let me now. I love you, Kim Seokjin. I have for way too long. I want you, I need you. You have me, in every possible way.”

It feels unparalleled to get that off your chest. The leaden weight of your emotions immediately disappears - or the fact that it's shared, makes it much, much lighter. But then you look at Jin, and he still seems to have not put two and two together. You patiently wait for him to process all the information. 

When he finally recoups, he yells, “What?!”

You let out a loud guffaw, the first one with no inhibitions in the longest time. “What?”

“Why didn’t you say anything that day at the cafe?!” 

“You said you’d never date me, asshole!” You punch his chest softly, before slipping your hands behind him and pulling him closer. “I might not look like it, but I have some dignity.”

“I said that?” Jin brings one hand to pinch his nose in annoyance. “What an idiot. I think I was just inverting everything to make sure I don’t accidentally slip up.”

You lift your head to meet his eyes again, letting him see the tears you were hiding. You find a couple in his eyes, too. But the smile on your face is genuine, and that is all that matters. “I was blind too, so don’t beat yourself up about it.” 

Flitting your eyes down to find the contour of his cock against his jeans, you ask him innocently, “How about we make up for lost time?”

“Fuck, yes, please.” And with that, your lips are engulfed again.

When you have all your guards down, the kiss tastes sweeter than before. Mere moments ago, while thoroughly enjoying the kiss, a sense of reticence had clouded your pleasure, holding you back from luxuriating in the headiness. A series of what-ifs had plagued your subconscious without your realization, but with all that cleared, you wholly submit to the kiss, emptying your mind until nothing but his name remains.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Jin gasps out, when you bite into his pillowy lower lip, “I thought you looked the prettiest in the dress earlier but,” after pulling away, he drinks your current attire in, “you look the most beautiful in this.”

You snicker. “Even more than World Wide Handsome?”

His eyes bore into yours, no hint of the joking lilt he always carries in them. 

“So much more.”

Your hands find their place amidst his shaggy hair again, and you lodge his face into your neck - a command Jin acquiesces to with great pleasure. After a long, wet lick to your collarbone, he lays feather-soft kisses on the trail he left, starting from your shoulder and working inward, until he brushes against the back of your ear. You grasp at his sweater, because his lips feel so good. Your breaths are short, sucking in every time he allows your skin the luxury of a soft peck.  Once he lays a kiss on your forehead, he brings his gaze down to one of the main reasons that causes his cock to stir.

“Fuck, look at your nipples under my shirt.”

Gazing down, you can see the two pointed peaks that caught Jin’s eyes. 

“That tends to happen when I’m thinking of you.” 

He twists a nipple over the shirt, hardening it further, and you throw your head back in the satisfying pain. “Yeah, I remember.”

You are unraveling every second, the ache swishing amongst the bliss his fingers are bringing in you. He’s switched over to drawing circles around your nipple, until he snaps and tugs your shirt up, finally revealing the palmfulls of flesh awaiting his hands. 

“Ah that night, I didn’t get to do this. Take this off.” But then, he makes you put on his robe again. You throw him a questioning look, to which he responds with a sheepish smile, “Just so, you know… you don’t feel cold… or something.”

“Just say you like me in your clothes and move on.”

“I love you in my clothes,” he admits in a heartbeat, his expression that of anguish, “can we move on?”

“God, gladly.”

Unexpectedly, he bites the side of your boob - not hard at all, but feeling his teeth against your skin sends your head reeling backward. Your involuntary response is to wrap your legs around his waist, grinding your core against him. His teeth continue to nip you lightly across the expanse of your breasts, the trail of saliva he leaves cooling parts of your flushed body. Finally, finally, he latches onto your left nipple and gives it a long, pleasurable suck.

“Ahh, Jin - you’re too - God damn it - you’re too good at this.” 

Without stopping the onslaught he is unleashing on your breasts, his fingers begin to move - but soon, they stop, hesitation rippling off of their tips. His pace falters, and his mind is fighting on the next course of action.

“Can I-”

“Finish what you started that night?” you complete for him, already prepared with your answer. “Yes, please.”

All forms of uncertainty shoot out of his touch, and he confidently trudges forward. Playing with the band of your panties, he gives you a well-intended chuckle, murmuring, “As far as I remember, I was so good you passed out.”

“Boy,” You groan, intended in jest, but his teeth slide against your jaw and it mostly comes out more wanton than jovial, “let me see you have tequila for dinner and remember much the next day.”

“Fair fair,” he gives in, shifting to buss the valley of your cleavage, feeling your heart thud against your ribs holding it in place. “Well today,” he starts without moving his face, his nimble fingers moving past the barrier of your underwear, pressing two fingertips directly on your clit, and hissing like it's him at the receiving end, “I’ll give you enough to remember.”

You pull his sweater off and chuck it away, not wanting to be reminded of any blockades that kept you apart, and your hands roam the expanse of his back remembering the touch of his skin from the night at the bar. His body isn’t new to you, but the circumstances make it feel different. 

Finally, his fingers find their way inside you. 

Yes, this. This was what was missing from your drunken tryst. With your heads in place, your ardor intensifies, and you move his lips back to yours needing to release your animalistic desire into his mouth. Pleasure surges through both of you as you threaten to swallow him whole.

You can feel him being more present, and considering the merciless finger-fucking you had earned that night, this is taking it to a whole other degree. 

The night at the bar, his fingers did their best to ravish you, but now, Jin is paying attention, close attention to the way you respond. Every muscle movement is recorded in him as you struggle to accommodate three of his lengthy digits. Leaning close, he gives your peaked nipple the lightest feather lick - the suddenness sends shockwaves through you as he continues to tweeze the other, talented pianist hands performing his musical piece on both ends of you.

His fingers pump into you with determination, finding new depths to explore that he missed out on, and with a curl of his pointer, you blank out, screaming in the orgasm that is washing over you. Every skincell of your body feels the quiver of lust spreading, your cunt squeezing for an eternity, milking the orgasm out to the extent that you can. 

When you look down, your metaphorical orgasmic flood manifestes as a deluge of your arousal leaking on the table. And when you look back up, you can see the salacious ideas making their rounds in Jin’s head as he looks at the inundation you released. 

Hurried hands still convulsing from the intensity of your orgasm, you undo his belt, followed by his jeans and finally - getting the pleasure you were heartlessly denied of - his cock is out, in all its glory, twitching as the cool air hits its naked skin. Jin’s plans don’t go hand in hand with yours though.

“Are we just - holy fucking shit - just, umm, leave that to waste?” he lustfully looks down to your leaking core, and someway, through your hold on his dick, he tries to steer you into his plans.

“I don’t know about that,” you cheekily reply. You have the right idea to satisfy both of you, and get down to the task.

With the flat of your palm, you swipe across the droplets of cum you released, gathering them to transfer them onto his thick length. Jin thrusts into your hand, the wetness jolting him into attention, and he places an arm on your shoulder to steady himself. 

“You’re going to taste yourself?” he asks as you continue your vacillating motion, twisting at the base of his head with the wetness you graciously provided yourself. You give him a nonchalant look, something he is trying to do to you as well. 

“Who said I’m gonna suck you off?”

His look changes, and the one you get in return is cocky, arrogant, downright rude if you were honest. You expected him to play on with your banter, but one raised eyebrow and the lazy smirk he gives, to what he probably thinks is a joke - Zeus could land on earth and not be able to stop you from gobbling his meat. 

Your mouth is filled with his dick even before your knees hit the ground. Jin staggers back, but your suction on his dick is funnily strong enough to pull him back before falling.  You switch positions, having him balance himself against the counter, all while you refuse to leave his cock out. His giggle of endearment has you pouting, but it swells your heart and makes you want to give more, more of anything and everything. With your renewed vigor, you push yourself in until his pubes tickle your nose, and his tip tickles your throat. 

“Your-”, “I-”, “uhh-” 

Every new sentence Jin starts crumbles to your actions. You furrow your brows both in concentration on your blowing skills and trying to decode what he is trying to say. 

Jin takes a large gulp, adamant on making this one a coherent sentence. “You know, I used to imagine this, and in my dreams I used to be very sexy and suave, talking my way throug-oof-” You run your tongue over the tip of his leaking dick, emphasizing the point he is coming to, “Now I can’t even complete sentences here.”

“You being you is super sexy in itself.” And you curve your tongue to match the arch of his cock, letting the incoming saliva pool on it before letting it run down his shaft, dripping down from his balls. Strings of his precum connect to your lips, and you swipe your tongue through them, relishing the salty goodness before going back in for more. 

“Y/N, shit, did you just moan?”

How couldn’t you? The fact that he is horny for you, so much so that rivulets of precum don’t stop drizzling down your throat, has you preening. You hum your assent in response, not willing to let go even for a moment, but Jin pulls you off before you can get a chokehold on the base of his cock again. 

“Never had a woman moan while sucking me off. It’s sexy as fuck,” Jin breathes into your lips as he dives in for a kiss.

Your chest is heaving, catching the breaths you lost when you were down. “Then why’d you stop me?”

“Are you kidding me? I was about to lose it right there.”

“Jinnie, come on,” you break the fragmentary kiss you were sharing, looking into his glassy eyes, “let me feel you come on my tongue.” To emphasize your conviction, you lick his lips, persuading him of the sinful deeds your tongue is capable of doing if he’d just let you.

“Oh man, stop. What’s worse than busting a nut in your mouth? Busting it while you’re kissing me. Making me feel like a teenager.” You erupt into a loud laugh, soon followed by Jin as well. It is so him to joke about this. 

“And babe,” all hints of embarrassment vanishing from his tone, “I’m only going to come inside you.”

“Fuck, fuck, yes. You got a condom on you?”

“Yeah, let me grab my wallet.” The instant he moves away, you feel naked, shivering from the comfort stolen away from you. But then you hear Jin grumble, “I hope I don’t have the bacon-flavored one.” And the absurdity of it all puts you at ease again.

“Ew, stop, even you can’t make that sexy. My lady boner is dying.”

He envelops you again, and you can feel the laughter echoing in his lungs before making it out to your ears. He brings your attention to the familiar rustle of foil wrapper. “Thankfully, we got chocolate.”

“Mmmh, gotta love chocolate.”

You take the condom out of his hands, and roll it onto his stiff length, flattered that he’s holding his erection for so long. 

“Okay, stick it in me!” And you smack your ass in readiness, and a very flabbergasted Jin breaks out chortling.

“Y/N, stop being my best friend for like, five minutes!” His brows are furrowed in pretense exasperation, but you can see his lips holding back a genuine smile through the grimace, just happy that your dynamics haven’t changed the slightest, even though everything else has shifted.

“Okay okay,” you try and suppress your own laughter, before continuing, “how do you want me, baby?”

“Bend over on the vanity. And keep your eyes on the mirror.” And as you move into position, his palms grab your ass and squeeze it hard, feeling your glutes push back against his grip, and he pushes you forward till you're on the tips of your toes. You watch him through the mirror, watch him admire the way your ass curves over the table edge, how your toes struggle to keep you up, and how the dimples of your back are deepened by the arch, peeking under the bunched up robe tails, just waiting for him.

“Jin.” Your hushed whisper puts him in action.

Pushing the head in is anguish and relief at the same time. His bulbous head stretches your entrance; even with your preparation, you feel it sting. The searing gets better and better with every inch slipping in, and when he finally lodges inside, you let out a heavy breath, still panting and keeping yourself from screaming bloody murder in pleasure. Jin bends forward to paint the back of your neck, sucking the flesh till the circular bruise comes to surface. 

“Can you- can you-fuck, no, wait-” Your brain is at war with itself, battling between adjusting to his girth and having him pump you into adjustment. 

You can feel Jin’s snicker from behind you, and he finally makes the decision for you. “I’ll wait, I have things to do here,” he says before playing around the patch of skin, spreading from the base of your hair to the expanse of your back, his teasing licks relaxing your walls and accommodating his girth. The pain is almost gone, expect for the lingering ache that only helps you.

“You can move now, babe.”

“Okay, okay.” Your words snap him out of the painter’s dream he was in, and he twitches inside you. Something about the ease at which you both have adopted nicknames for each other softens his heart and hardens his cock. 

Pulling out till only the head rests inside, Jin himself struggles against the third degree grip your pussy has on him. As he is thrusting inside again, your walls tense up, making it harder and harder for him to hold back. 

“Y/N, sweetie, relax. I got you.”

“Jin, I’m-” You have tears running down your eyes, the pleasure and unsurmountable happiness rolling out in fat hot drops. “Fuck me harder. I won’t last.”

“Shit. Okay, hold on then.”

To what? Is what you’re going to ask before Jin unleashes his carnality onto you. Your breasts, dripping in sweat and saliva, are plastered to the countertop, which in itself is jiggling to the beat of Jin’s thrusts. His dick is curving inside to hit you repeatedly, and you have to gather the satin fabric to wipe your eyes to keep your gaze fixed on him. 

He looks majestic. Forehead embellished with beads of sweat, his hair coiffed up, lips sanguine red after your vicious kisses - you swipe your tongue along your own lips to find them battered in response. His honey chest is heaving with every push, and a particular one hits you just right. 

You let out a guttural groan, and Jin takes note of it immediately. 

“Up,” he commands, and loops an arm under your belly to you pull you up and closer and now every thrust hits deeper into that spot he has found in you, your back connected to his chest as the two of you move in tandem; this is the most together you’ve ever felt with anyone. This moment is to be etched in your memories forever.

You scream into your fist to muffle the sounds, the edge of the table digging into your hip bone as you feel yourself getting closer to the brink. One swipe to the clit is all you have left to bring you to your release. 

And from some telepathic force, or from the clutch your pussy has on him, Jin beats you to it. His fingers come down and carefully find your swollen nub, pinching it between his fingers. If he thought you’d shown him your hardest clench, he was wrong, because right now your dam has broken, and the iron-clad grip you give his cock sends him reeling, too.

You are gushing on his dick, the rubber dripping with your wetness. Jin too releases into the condom in stuttered gasps, his thrusts becoming shorter and shallower as he comes down from his high. 

Petal-like kisses fall on your back as the two of you regain your breaths. The mirror that served you two well is covered in a fog of hot breath and perspiration, blearing your vision of yourself, but somehow, it sparkles with Jin’s reflection. His nobility-esque visuals use the haze as a valance for his appearance, framing them to make him look like you’re among the clouds. And in some way, you actually are.

“Ah, let me go.” You jiggle your shoulders back to make the man above you move. “Fuck, can you check if my spine is in place? I think you dislodged it.”

“Shut up and come hug me, I’ll squeeze it back in place.”

Now this is something you could get used to.

As he ties and throws away the used condom, you flip over to face him and fall back into his embrace, broad shoulders promising to protect you, making you feel safe in his care. Jin on the other hand is simply ecstatic to feel you on him, feeling your thumping heart beat for him, after months of pining and pondering whether anything would become of the seed of your tumultuous friendship. Now, it has blossomed to a garden of prospect and promise, every petal of every flower here reading a new opportunity to tell you how much he adores you, cherishes you, treasures you. How much he loves you.  An opportunity he doesn’t wait to use. 

“I love you.”

The pink tinge of your cheeks either comes from the sex, or from his comment, but either way, he is glad its from him. 

“I love you too, Jin. So, so very much.”

If your heart could leap out of your chest, it would do so, to find its way to his and fuse into one. But for now, your entwined bodies give you all you want. 

You hear Jin stifle a laugh, and pull back in question. He points to something odd on the countertop.

“What is that?”

The cream white surface of the table, that was maligned by your ignoble deeds, now sports two glistening, wheatish semi circles that look very similar to the sizes of one person who was splayed on top of it just moments ago. 

“Is that…” Jin is trying to contort his lips and halt the looming snicker, and he brings his eyes down to your chest (trying not to get hard again), “Did you have makeup on your chest?”

“Shut up.” All you can do is fall closer into his arms, hopefully masking the tint of embarrassment highlighting the apples of your cheeks. “I wanted to make them look extra good for you.”

He’s given up on holding back, the full-bellied laugh that resonated from him echoing across the room. But it dwindles down fast, coming to small chuckles of tenderness, and he slips his digits beneath your chin to have you meet his gaze.

“They always look good,” he whispers, his admittance setting your chest aflame, “trust me, I’d know.”

Taglist 💛:  @little7bitchh​, @afangirllikeme-blog​, @h34rt1lly, @marpotterhead​

Thank you so much for making it to the end! I hope you enjoyed the fic, my ask box is always open for your lovely opinions. To read more of my work, find my main masterlist here. :)

[crysalita]

Left Behind

Bo Sinclair x Reader

Word Count: 2439

Warnings: Suicide mentioned when Bo is telling the story about Trudy.

I had to admit that I never actually wanted to be here, on a road trip that is, but somehow I had managed to find myself getting an invite from Carly, who claimed there needed to be more girls. I reluctantly agreed to tag along, and so far I was regretting that poorly made decision.

I was a third wheel as I lagged behind Carly and Wade. I felt as if all I had done so far since we arrived in this town was either roll my eyes or sigh at their constant flirting. If I had of known that this is what my day was going to consist of then I would have said no in a heartbeat.

The small town we had arrived in gave me strange vibes, whether it was because the town was oddly empty even though we could hear chatter, or whether it was because of the two men that we had come across.

Bo, the man that works at the gas station, spent most of the time eyeing me down after the run in at the church, I didn’t know how to feel about it.

“So, Y/n. What did you think about Bo? He seems to have taken quite an interest in you.” Carly teased, nudging my shoulder.

We were in the gas station looking for whatever part that Wade needed.

“Don’t be stupid, he was just being friendly.” I scowled.

“Coming from a guys perspective, he definitely finds you hot.” Wade spoke up.

I sent him a glare. “Just look for that part.”

“He’s got everything, but a 15 inch. I’ll just have to use a 16 inch.” Wade grabbed a hold of the strap that he needed, but we were startled when we heard another voice.

“Are you planning on stealing that?” When I turned around, I was met with Bo leaning against the door frame, still in his suit and tie. I had to admit that the suit did look good on him.

“No, we just didn’t know how much longer you were gonna be, and you know, we didn’t wanna interrupt again.” Wade rushed out. “But I left you some money on the counter, but you don’t even really have the right size. You don’t have any 15 inches.”

“I do at the house.” Bo replied, not looking in the slightest bit like he was convinced by Wade’s constant stuttering, I couldn’t blame him though, Wade made us look more suspicious than we actually were.

“Look, I hope you’re not getting the wrong idea that we’re in here.” Carly attempted to ease the tension.

“Yeah, we already feel bad enough after interrupting the first time, we just didn’t want to do it again.” I smiled politely. In return, Bo sent me one of his own smiles and gestured for us to come out of the shed.

“No worries. That was in the past. We can move on from that.” Bo replied as he held the door open for us.

“You keep fan belts at your house?” Wade asked.

“I get things delivered there when I’m not here. Look, if you want to hold onto the 16, that’s fine by me.” Bo was looking more agitated by the minute.

“No, it’s okay.”

Bo led us outside of the gas station and we began our journey to the house that Bo lived at. My legs were already tired enough as it was from all the walking we had done, and I honestly wasn’t trying to do anymore.

“So, is it too late to sign Carly up for that beauty pageant?” Wade asked with a smirk on his face.

“Now unfortunately it is, well at least for you-” Bo turned and nodded in my direction. “-Because you have won, hands down.” I blushed slightly at his comment but shook it off quickly as I looked away.

“Thank you.” I mumbled. My gaze landed on Carly who was giving me a smug smile to which I rolled my eyes at.

“That house of Wax is pretty cool.” Wade changed the subject. This caught Bo’s attention.

“You went inside?”

“Yeah, it was unlocked.”

“I did try to tell them they shouldn’t, but they both happen to be very stubborn.” I didn’t dare step foot into the House of Wax. Knowing myself I would probably end up ruining the art in there, and I would never forgive myself if I destroyed someone’s art that they, more than likely, spent hours trying to create. I did manage to get quick look inside when Carly and Wade entered, and it truly was amazing.

“Everything seems to be unlocked ‘round here, don’t it? Thank you for having respect.” I was rewarded with another one of his smiles that really did compliment his face, although he did use quite an odd choice of words as it made him seem all the creepier.

I shared a look between the other two, who were also very creeped out.

“I did get a look inside though, when they opened the door that is, and the wax sculptures are amazing.” I complimented. I was a bit bummed out that I couldn’t see the artwork up close to see their full detail, but my conscious got to the best of me and now I was glad that I didn’t go in.

“Yeah, people used to come and see it from miles away. Trudy was the main artist.” I could imagine the amount of people that I wanted to see it, but for some reason there wasn’t any.

“What about Vincent?” Carly questioned. “I saw his name on a lot of the work.”

“One of Trudy’s boys.”

“That family must be very talented. Are any of them still around? I would love to meet them, and maybe they could help me out with some of my own art.” I commented.

“Oh- no. It’s a horrible story. Trudy’s husband, Doctor Sinclair, he was a doctor. He got his licence revoked for doing surgery’s on the side, you know, stuff that most doctors wouldn’t do. So, he moved him and Trudy out here to Ambrose, made a fresh start in medical practise and Trudy found her calm with the whole wax sculpture thing.” Bo explained as we walked past the House of Wax. “It was her dream to do something incredible here. Then she had a couple of kids-”

“What’s so horrible about that?”

“Trudy got a cyst in her brain, she just started rottin’ away.” My eyes widened as Bo continued the story. It was really starting to take a dark turn. “Couldn’t work no more, she went crazy, and it got so bad, that Doctor Sinclair had to strap her up to the bed. The whole town could hear her screaming from the house. And Doctor Sinclair was so depressed that he couldn’t save her he-” Bo creates a gun with his fingers and pretends to shoot himself in the head. “Blew his head right off.”

“That’s horrible.” I mumbled.

By now we were approaching the last house on the road, meaning this was where Bo was staying. The sky was getting darker and darker by the minute, making the situation all the more terrifying.

“Hey, uh, why don’t you three hop in, and I’ll go get that fanbelt for ya’” Bo opened the door to his car and gestured for us to hop in.

“No, we actually have some friends picking us up where the roads washed out.” Carly interrupted.

“I’ll give ya’ a lift there. It’s the least I could do then for making ya’ll wait.” Carly and I both turned to Wade who was nodding his head.

“Could I use the toilet?” I asked Bo as Carly hopped into the car.

“Yeah, of course. You said you need to use the can too, didn’t ya?” Bo faced Wade. He then proceeded to ask Carly the same question before he led us into his house.

The house was nothing less than what I expected, not that I expected much. To no surprise, it was quite messy, but I couldn’t hold that against Bo, as he most likely wasn’t expecting guests.

“So, where ya’ headed too anyway?”

“Uh, where just headed to a football game.” Wade answered.

“Bathrooms just down the hall. Let me get out of this jacket and tie, and I’ll get the fanbelt. I have another bathroom upstairs for ya’ to use.” I followed Bo up the stairs as Wade walked down the hall. I began feeling nervous as now I was left alone. “You interested in football?” Bo cocked his head to the side as he looked at me. I found myself staring a little longer than I should have, which Bo took notice of too, as his lips twitched up into a sly smirk.

“No, not really. Just here for Carly.” Bo nodded his head along with what I was saying before he popped another question, a very unexpected question.

“I take it ya’ single than?”

“What makes you think that?” I stammered.

“Well, considering those two are tied to the hip, that would most likely mean that if ya’ were seeing someone, then they’d be 'ere too.” Bo explained as he shrugged off his jacket. “And if it were me, I wouldn’t let ya’ out of my sight. Especially in a town I’ve never been in.” Bo opened a door that revealed to be the second bathroom he owned. I walked in and closed the door and instantly let out a breath I didn’t realise I was holding.

This man was making me feel all kinds of things, and I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

I did my business and exited the bathroom to see Bo waiting outside, this time he was dressed in casual clothing, and no longer rocked a suit and tie. I had to admit that this man could certainly pull off both looks.

“Did you need help getting anything? I don’t mind helping.” I offered.

“That would be nice, thank you.” I followed behind Bo, who led us into the garage that was covered in tools and what I could only assume was car parts.

“Is it always this quiet in town?” I watched as Bo gathered some things and placed them in crate he had. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do, so I waited where he had placed down the crate.

“Depends on the day, I guess. Sometimes it can be noisy, believe or not, and some days it’s dead silent. Today just so happens to be one of those days.” Bo mumbled.

All of a sudden the lights were cut off and everything went pitch black. I immediately put my arms out to reach for something to grab a hold of. “Bo?” I held my hand out in the direction of where Bo was last stood. “Bo? Where are you?” I felt his hand come in contact with my own.

“I’m right here, sweets.” I was thankful the lights were off so Bo couldn’t see the blush spread out across my burning face. “I don’t know what happened.” The sound of metal hitting the ground echoed throughout the garage, and then I heard the sound of the horn from outside.

“They must be waiting for us.” I muttered to no one in particular. The lights then turned on and I found myself extremely close to Bo as his chest was almost plastered to my back. “Sorry about that. That was childish.” I apologised I pulled myself away from Bo.

“Nothing to be sorry for. Ya’ get a little scared of the dark, nothing to be ashamed of.” Bo picked up the crate of tools. “I’m going to take this stuff out to the truck. Would you mind finding the wrench for me? It should be in one of the drawers over there.” Bo nodded his head in the direction of where the cupboard filled with drawers were before he exited the garage.

Everything felt scarier now that I was alone and everything around me was silent. I could hear my own breathing with how silent it was, and I hated it.

I searched through the different drawers before I found the wrench that I was looking for.

I began hearing shouting from outside and I quickly made my way outside, only to find the truck driving away and Bo standing outside, the tools scattered across the ground. “Bo, what happened?” I slowly approached Bo who was seething with anger, that was until he turned around to me. His face relaxed as he locked eyes with my own.

“Your little friends just decided to drive off with my truck. I guess they forgot that there was a third one with them.” My mood dulled at his words. How could they just leave me like that? “Hey, don’t let them get ya’ down. You don’t need 'em. Especially after the way they’ve acted today.” That didn’t change the fact that someone that I considered to be my best friend, had just left me behind to run off with her boyfriend, did I ever really mean anything to her. “Listen, I have another truck at the station, if ya’ like, we could walk down tomorrow morning and I could drive ya’ where you need to go.”

“That’d be great. Thanks.” Bo walked back inside, forgetting about the tools that were lying all around.

“You can sleep on the couch for tonight. I’ll get ya’ some blankets to keep ya’ warm. Did ya’ want something to eat?” Bo yelled out as he walked up the stairs.

“I’m good.” I called back. I sat down on the couch and stared off into nothing, this day was going horrible. I sighed as I placed my head into my hands and tiredly rubbed my eyes.

“Hey, ya’ know. I’d love to see ya’ some more. I wasn’t lying when I said ya’ were pretty. Definitely caught my eye.” Bo placed down the blankets on the end of the couch as he sat down beside me.

I found myself blushing for what felt like the millionth time today. “Really? I’d like to see you more too.” I whispered, looking everywhere but the man beside me.

Bo placed his finger on my chin and guided me to look in his direction. “Look at me when ya’ speak. I want to see ya’.”

Before I knew it, we had spent what felt like hours talking on that couch before I eventually got tired and fell asleep, and that was definitely the only good part about my day, getting to talk to Bo.

[honeymooneyy]

my sirius

summary: sirius loses his memories due to a potion mishap and james fails to tell him that he’s been dating remus for two years 

Sirius had never really been good at potions. 

He wasn’t one to follow the directions, and that reflected in his potion-making skills. He liked to make changes to the recipe, despite his lack of skills to make executive decisions like that. 

So when he had been brewing a particularly tricky potion with James - one that renders the drinker void of any memories for an hour, he probably shouldn’t have tweaked the recipe. 

But as Sirius stared down at the murky green goop, he wished for some pizazz. So he took matters into his own hands. A funky potion like this should look a lot cooler, he decided. Granted, it probably wasn’t a good decision to add that mystery white powder in the back of the cupboard. 

The second it touched the surface of his potion, it erupted out and onto Sirius. What happened next, was utter chaos. 

Slughorn was screaming at James to scourgify the cauldron, which he did with a shaky wave of his wand. Remus and Peter were on the floor in a fit of laughter, much like the rest of the class - even Snape was smiling. And Sirius, well poor Sirius wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. Or who he was. 

He turned to the tan boy next to him, who’s dark eyes were locked on his, worry evident in them. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Sirius?” 

Serious?

“What?” Was the only reply he could muster. What was happening? What was serious? Who was this boy, and why did he look so concerned? 

“Did you, y’know, get any in your mouth?” The boy questioned, tilting his head a bit. His glasses reflected a bit when he did so, no longer allowed him to see his eyes. 

“Who are you?”

James deflated, turning to the man who was quivering in the corner. “Professor?” 

“It’s all fine,” The supposed Professor announced, holding his hands up. “I have  a couple counteractive potions. James, son, what did he put in there?” 

“Er, I’m not sure, I didn’t see.” The boy, James, turns back to their cauldron before reaching for a small bottle of white powder. “I think it was this.” 

The Professor squints at the bottle before sighing. “I’m not entirely sure what that was. We could try all three of the counter acting potions? They don’t mess with one another, and I’m sure one of them will work. Alright, I think we’ve had enough of this, class dismissed early, James stay here with Sirius. Please clean up properly!” 

The class began to put their materials away, whispering different cleaning spells as to not disturb the silence that had descended upon the class. Sirius assumed his name must be Sirius and James must not have been speaking of the emotion earlier. He stood at the small table with the dark cauldron, awkwardly shifting his weight as the Professor sifted through his drawers. 

In the end, he pulled out three small vials and handed them to James who brought them to Sirius. He flashed him a bright grin. “Drink up!” 

Sirius didn’t ask very many questions, though he felt as if he was bursting with them. He simply tilted his head back to swallow the liquids back, one after the other, cringing at the taste of the last one. 

James and the Professor continued to stare at him and Sirius stared back.

“What’s my name?” The Professor questioned after a moment of silence. 

“I don’t- I don’t know, sorry,” Sirius apologized, his ears burning as he shrunk under their inquisitive gazes. 

James sighed but the Professor didn’t seem to put off. “No worries, Black. I’ll take a look at that powder and I should have an antidote whipped up soon enough. Besides, if too much didn’t go wrong with your potion, you should get your memories back within the hour. James, why don’t you take him down to the medical wing to wait?” 

He must’ve messed up the potion because an hour later, he was still unknowing to who he was. 

James had filled him in on where he was - Hogwarts - and who he was - Sirius Black - but hadn’t given him too much information. He had assured that he’d get his memories back soon enough so there was no point. But the outcome was starting to look pretty bleak and soon enough, the nice nurse lady was sending Sirius away with James seeing as nothing could be done. 

“It’ll be fine, Sirius, Slughorn will get you back to normal soon enough. I reckon you’ll remember everything by tomorrow, no worries. And Remus and Peter will love this!” James seemed extremely enthusiastic, despite the fact that his best friend had no memories. 

“Does this sort of thing happen often?” Sirius was barely keeping up with James’ quick pace as he tried to absorb the castle he seemed to be in. 

“Losing your memories? Not to any of us, but I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet. We’re always getting into trouble. We’re kinda known for our pranks.” 

James seemed pretty proud and Sirius smiled at the thought of pranks. 

“Anyway, we’re in Gryffindor. There’s four houses, but I don’t think you need to know the others, right now. The password is Ficklepuffs, don’t forget that or else you can’t get in.” 

Sirius nodded, mouthing the word and hoping he’ll be able to remember it. 

“Okay, let’s not stay in the common room too long. Better if you don’t have to deal with all the questions. Let’s go to our dorm room. We share it with Remus and Peter.” 

Sirius followed him up the stairs wordlessly, ignoring the stares from the others in the common room. James pushed a door open and Sirius stepped into the warm room, his eyes flitting around before finding a boy sitting on one of the four beds

The blonde one looked up at him before directing his gaze towards James. “Is he all fixed up yet?” 

James grimaced a bit, “No, we’re waiting for Slughorn to make an antidote. Poppy told us to bring him up here and make him comfortable until the potions wears off or whenever Slughorn makes the antidote. Whichever happens first.” 

Sirius just stood in the center of the room, unsure what exactly he was supposed to do. All four of the beds looked exactly the same, and though James had taken the bed next to the blonde boy’s bed, the other two seemed too similar. James must’ve noticed his discomfort because he nodded his head towards one of the beds before speaking to the other boy in hushed tones. 

The bed was large with thick curtains around it, probably for privacy. The bed was made neatly and Sirius felt bad as he settled on top, wrinkling the sheets. On the bedside table was a book or two that seemed pretty untouched, and a dog toy? 

“Hey, Sirius!” The blonde boy waved to get his attention. “I’m Peter.” 

“Hi Peter.” Sirius waved back only for the other boys’ jaw to drop open as he shot James a look. 

“He can talk?”

“Of course he can talk, you dolt. He lost his memories not his knowledge. I bet he can still do maths and stuff. He just doesn’t know how he learned it, I think.” James turned to Sirius with a thoughtful look. “What’s four plus four?” 

“Eight,” Sirius replied immediately, much to his surprise. 

“See! You know how you learned that? Who taught you?” 

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. “No, not really.” 

James gave Peter a knowing look. “See. James is always right, that’s why we don’t question James.” 

“Oh quit it with the third person.” Peter rolled his eyes though his lips were quirked up a bit in a smile. 

James continued to speak in third person and Sirius watched the banter with a small smile. Eventually Peter shoved James away, speaking of some essay he needed to finish, so James came over to bother him. 

“I know you don’t really remember me, but we’ve been best mates since first year. That’s when we were elven.” James fills him in, perching on the edge of his bed. 

“And now we’re...?” 

“Seventeen. Er, well you are. Your birthday was about a month ago, November third. Remus and I are still sixteen.”

Sirius nods, soaking in this information. “And we’ve been dorm mates since then?” 

“Yep! Actually, you live with me now. But don’t worry about that, you’ll get your memories back soon enough,” James reassured though Sirius didn’t fully believe him. 

His thoughts were broken by the door slamming open as another boy stalked in. He was muttering angrily and when he saw the Peter, he turned toward him. “My blasted book was on the other side of the school! This is what I get for trying to study for Charms!” 

Sirius just watched, mouth agape, because he had never seen someone this attractive. He knew he hasn’t seen very many people in the past hour, his only memories, but he’s sure no one else could compare. Though his side profile is all Sirius can see at the moment, he still marvels at his golden brown hair and the flutter of freckles splattering his face. His cheeks are flushed pink, probably from his journey to the other side of the school, and matched his lips that were moving rapidly as he complains. 

And then he seems to realize that Sirius is there because he turns to him, and Sirius squirmed under the intensity of his amber eyes. “Did Slughorn’s antidote work?” 

Sirius can barely manage a shake of his head. 

This seems to upset the boy further because he groans and falls back onto his bed, hands dragging down his face. Sirius can’t help but follow his actions as his jumper hitches up to reveal a patch of pale skin. A jagged scar peaks out from under it, and though it’s faded to a silvery white, Sirius internally flinches at the thought of how it felt. 

Though James was still on his bed, he couldn’t help but continue to sneak glances at Remus. Something about him, and his presence, seemed comforting. But he seemed in distress and Sirius wanted to offer that same comfort he found.

“If he’s Peter, you’re Remus, right?” Sirius can tell Remus is upset and maybe he just wanted to talk to his friend? While Sirius isn’t really Sirius, he can try. And then he stupidly introduces himself, “I’m Sirius.” 

“I know,” Remus replies flatly, still stretched out on his bed. “And you’re the biggest idiot I know.” 

Sirius cringes back, regretting the choice to open his mouth. He glances at James who just waves it off. 

“He’s not mad, it’s just Remus.” James leans back as he stretches his leg out to prod Remus with a toe, then squealing when Remus grabbed said toe and yanked him so he almost slid off the bed. “Oi!” 

Sirius waited for him to get situated again before leaning in to hiss, “You didn’t tell me I was gay! Or that Remus is so attractive! What the fuck, mate?” 

To his surprise James just laughs, “Oh, right. Sorry, it’s not something I thought I would have to tell you, I dunno, I didn’t think about it. And what? I was supposed to introduce Remus as the hot one?” 

“Yes,” Sirius replied, genuinely. “This is important information!” 

“Right, sorry. But you don’t have to whisper, it’s not really a secret.” 

Sirius narrows his eyes, “Being gay or thinking Remus is attractive?” 

“Both. They go hand in hand, really, if you think about it.” James nods thoughtfully before smiling again reassuringly. “You’ll remember soon enough.” 

“Right. So he knows I think he’s hot?” 

“I would hope so.” 

Sirius frowns at this, “You hope so? What, does everyone know?” 

“Oh, yes.” 

“Wait a minute, what exactly are we?” This time the question is directed to Remus who has been lying on his bed, quiet but no doubt listening in on their conversation. 

Remus turns his head over to look at Sirius, his eyes flickering over his face before a smile is pulling at his lips as he says, “Friends. Since first year.” 

“Yeah, yeah, everything since first year.” Sirius visibly deflates at this information. What was Sirius With Memories doing? How could he bear to be just friends with someone like that? And now he had gone asking dumb questions, no doubt a problem that will soon arise. 

It took a mere couple of seconds before the problem rose. 

James stood up, dusting off his pants in a big show before turning to Peter. “Let’s head down to dinner, yeah? I think it’s better if we leave Sirius back here, Remus, you’ll stay?” 

Remus hummed a reply, now turning to lie on his stomach, burrowing his head into his arms. He looked so cuddly Sirius itched to wiggle into his embrace. 

“Wait! I want to come, I want dinner, I’m hungry.” Sirius stood too but James waved him off. 

“Nah, too many questions. We’ll bring you back some food, Remus too. And Poppy said to make him comfortable so Remus, I dunno, tuck him into bed or something.” James didn’t leave much time to argue, slipping out of the dorm door with Peter close behind him. 

Sirius just stood there, awkwardly, now unsure what to do. He glanced at Remus who still had his head burrowed in his arms, and then at the door, considering just running after James and Peter. Why did he have to say something about Remus being attractive? Even if James was right and Remus already knew, it was so awkward!

“Are you going to change?” Remus asked, pulling Sirius out of his thoughts. His eyes flickered over Sirius’ figure before glancing back at him with a small smile. “You’re covered in that goop. I can clean off your bed, go get changed.” 

Sirius assumed the trunk at the foot of his bed must have his clothes, and much to his luck, he was right. He just reached for some random pants and a shirt before spotting a fuzzy jumper in the corner. He grabbed it too. 

Remus was muttering some sort of spell on the bed and the green patches were slowly disappearing. Throwing him one last glance, Sirius entered the bathroom and quickly changed out of his soiled clothes. Once he was clean, he grimaced at the state of his hair. Thankfully, it had been spared from the potion, for the most part, but was a tangly mess, no doubt from his nervous fiddling. He tried to rake his fingers through it but it didn’t do much so he just returned to the room. 

Remus had cleaned his bed and was on his own now, fidgeting with a comb. When he spotted Sirius his eyes brightened and his smile grew a bit as he waved him over. “C’mere, I’ll fix your hair.” 

Sirius ducked his head bashfully as he approached Remus’ bed before gingerly crawling onto it, sitting down in front of him. He was acutely aware of how close Remus was too him and butterflies erupted in his stomach. Sirius forced himself to sit perfectly still as nimble fingers began carding through his hair, working through the knots. 

“Oh, Sirius, how did this even happen?” Remus murmured, his voice quiet enough that it made Sirius blush. This whole thing felt so intimate and it didn’t help that Remus kept brushing against his back as he fixed his hair. 

“I dunno,” Sirius whispered back.

“S’okay, love, I think I can get the knots out.”

The nickname slipped out so naturally it sounded as if he said it every day, but it didn’t stop Sirius from freezing, his leg pausing in it’s bouncing. Remus must’ve noticed too because his fingers stilled in Sirius’ hair. 

“Shit, I couldn’t even go fifteen minutes, could I?” He tutted, before continuing to work through his hair. “Sorry, Sirius. Your face when I walked in was too priceless, I couldn’t not have some fun with it. I loved your reaction to me saying we’re just friends.” 

Sirius wasn’t completely sure what was happening, but he found his voice. “So we’re not friends?” 

Remus snorted at this, “No. We’ve been dating since fourth year. Almost two years, now, I think.” 

“Oh.” 

Sirius’ head was whirling. He was dating Remus? And the others really didn’t bother saying anything about it? Again, this seemed like important information! Your name is Sirius Black, you’re gay, you have a hot boyfriend...the basics! 

Remus laughed again and ran his comb through Sirius’ now tangle-free hair. “All done.” 

Sirius turned around so he could face Remus who was now settled back down and was leaning against his headboard. “Thank you.” 

“Look at you, so polite. If only Sirius could be like this every day.” Remus shook his head but his words held no venom. “Do you want me to braid it so it doesn’t get tangled again?” 

Sirius didn’t really know what to say to him, seeing as they were boyfriends though he had no memory of this. So he just nodded mutely, turning back around so Remus could braid his hair. He worked in silence and Sirius greatly appreciated it. 

When he was finished he patted Sirius’ shoulder and he turned around again. Remus was watching him with a warm smile and it encouraged him to voice his thoughts, “Do you think Slughorn will we be able to make an antidote?” 

“For you memories? I’m sure he will. He’s pretty talented,” Remus assured, his hands reaching out to brush a couple loose strands out of Sirius’ face. “Don’t worry too much. We’ll work it out tomorrow.” 

Sirius nods but he doesn’t feel very confident in the Professor’s abilities. “This is scary. I don’t know anything or anyone. It’s weird, though, I kind of still have emotions associated with people? So I feel things but I don’t know why.” 

“I’m sure it’s terrifying. But you’re safe with us, I promise you trust us when you’re normal. And for the emotions? It’s probably like muscle memory but with feelings? Can you describe it? Like me for example?” 

Heat crawls onto Sirius’ face and he dropped his gaze to his lap. “You’re warm. Like, my chest feels all warm on the inside. But also kind of swirly, I don’t know. It’s positive, I know that. I cared about you a lot, I think.”

“You did. I care about you a load too.” Remus reaches out to gently link their fingers together. “I was kind of scared about you never remembering me again, but I don’t think Dumbledore would let that happen. He’s the headmaster here.” 

“I wish I could remember you. You seem worth remembering.” 

Remus’ mouth fell open a bit at his words and then he was pulling Sirius into a tight hug, holding him against his chest. “That’s so cheesy but so sweet, oh my god, Sirius.” 

Sirius laughed at this, but wrapped his own arms around Remus, laying his head onto Remus’ chest. The embrace felt so natural he couldn’t help but melt into it, sighing softly. 

And that’s exactly when James and Peter burst through the door, holding plates of food. When James caught sight of them he exclaimed, “Remus! Get away from him! He doesn’t remember anything, poor Sirius! You’re a stranger! He’s a stranger!” 

“He’s not a stranger,” Remus protested, continuing to hold Sirius, chin tucked over the top of his head. “He’s my Sirius.” 

Sirius smiled into his sweater at his words. He quite liked the sound of that - my Sirius.