#like i really understand that they maybe didnt know what to do esp because i was unable to communicate it

[sprolden]

slowly feeling like i am becoming a person again instead of whatever i was in the past few months even though i genuinely for a minute there didnt believe this was ever possible so its really weird to be on the other side of it. and also weird that i now just have these people in my life who i know disappeared on me when i needed their support the most and now i have to figure out what to do with that

[residencyisstrange]

mouthwashing is one of those important pieces of media to me because it opens my eyes to different topics and perspectives

[todayisafridaynight]

I wanted to write in about my thoughts on Jo as a CSA survivor separately for a couple of reasons:

I already more or less have what I have to say on the topic in order thanks to talks with @starssystem and another friend [<3]

This is a massive tonal shift from anything else I could be discussing

This Is Massive In General For The Love Of God PLEASE Help Me

Obvious CSA CW for anyone else reading; I only discuss statistics, psychology, and the aftereffects seen in survivors here, but it's worth a warning.

With the disclaimers out of the way… I'd mentioned before I've only ever added one thing to Jo's background, and you were right: this is it! To me, there's so much thematic overlap in Jo's narrative with the experience of surviving CSA it's worth it to examine his character through the lens of that being the case. Of course, there are clearly-stated reasons for it all that Aren't That, but…

It's the pervasive guilt and shame, the lifelong secret that becomes too unbearable not to tell, the faulty coping mechanisms aimed at burying the trauma without having to face it, the reluctance to be sincere [vulnerable] and the lies and half-truths used to maintain the facade of invulnerability, the pursuit of power and control and the knee-jerk anger response when it's threatened, the pursuit of mastery over his body and the indifference to what happens to it. And the way a lot of it really does stem from a deeply traumatic childhood sexual experience from before either he or Ikumi understood what they were getting into, from before they could give informed consent.

Statistically, the further below the average age someone is for their first time, the likelihood of [at best] having been introduced to sex inappropriately and [at worst] having been abused at the time or earlier rises exponentially. Jo was 15 when Masato was conceived--possibly 14, since he was saying he "met" Arakawa at 15, and by then Masato was already born. To put this into perspective, since what ages register as concerning is largely cultural, the average age in the US and UK is 16-18. But in Japan, it's over 19.

To a Westerner [or even a heavily Westernized non-Westerner], having a kid at 15 is unfortunate, but not untenable; you've seen it on TV, you might know people like that, you might even be that kid or that parent. But in Jo's case, with him being 4 or 5 years younger than average, it's like if someone told you they had their first time--had a /kid/--at 13 or under. That's the equivalent discrepancy. That /is/ concerning, to me.

It's also something that's linked to negative outcomes in adulthood, partly because of the likelihood of forming bonds with poorly-adjusted peers. Jo specifically states he and Ikumi were only together because others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had back then. [As an aside, it's interesting to see him instinctively seek out a relationship where his pain would be understood without having to say anything--or one where he could assume it would, at any rate.]

When it comes to his relationship with Ikumi, I've always felt there was this "adult dynamic" between them--in the sense it feels like one that'd be more fitting for adults to get into than a couple of teens. It was, based on his wording, a primarily physical relationship neither of them expected to last even if they were living together. To me, it's one thing if you're fully convinced you're in love or you're experimenting or whatever and that results in an unplanned pregnancy, but it's another thing entirely to have such a bleak yet objective outlook on your relationship so young.

And it didn't have to be that way. He could've been just like Arakawa, head-over-heels in love with this girl who was The Only Good Thing He Had Going, or something like that. But the sheer contrast between how Arakawa was crazy about Akane and never forgot about her for the rest of his life, while Jo more-or-less-clearly didn't have feelings for Ikumi and can't bring himself to remember her name after living with her for at least a year and experiencing life-changing events with her…

It's notable to me that Arakawa maintains an interest in women while nearly every in-character interpretation I've seen makes Jo averse to women. Obviously, we don't really know that; it's probably just based on his general attitudes, his contrast with Arakawa, and maybe his immunity to Charm. But I think there's a reason a lot of people pick up on it and tie it to trauma rather than/in addition to a lack of interest in women.

I've talked about this through the lens of comphet already [and Jo being gay or ace or both would present other difficulties], but I can't overstate how notable it is on its own. We see Jo's response to traumatic events, and it's to become preoccupied with them, to investigate further if he has any leads. That's why he remembers every minute detail of the night Masato was born and the time he saw Arakawa attempt to comfort Masato when he was crying and hitting himself. I think it's also why he gets as far as he does when looking into Arakawa's death, and why he entrusts the search to Ichi. He never seems to manage to block them out, even if that's what he'd rather do--even if that's what he thinks he's doing.

So if he "[doesn't] even remember" the name of the mother of his child, I get the feeling there's something more going on. Like I've [probably] said in the past, Jo genuinely sounds traumatized by the relationship as a whole. More than anything else he's been through, and he's been through a lot. It's often the case that CSA survivors who are also survivors of other trauma view it as worse than anything else that happened to them.

And that's not to implicate Ikumi at all, I don't think it's a case of COCSA--everything I've said holds just as true for her, and she had to suffer the additional trauma of an unwanted pregnancy and childbirth, at that. Rather, I think it would make sense for something like CSA, which often incontrovertibly reconfigures one's relationship with sex and love, to be a factor in why they rushed into a something physical before they were mature enough to handle it.

Some victims end up having perfectly healthy experiences, some victims end up avoiding them, some victims end up re-victimized, and some victims end up with a mixed bag--there's a lot of variation. But some victims do end up having relationships like this and making mistakes like this, because that's all they know, or because they want to heal but don't [or don't know how to] go about it in a healthy way, at a healthy pace. And I definitely think if you recognize that's what the basis of your relationship was, that it all comes back to something you'd rather forget, it'd make sense to want to forget the relationship as a whole.

To that end, it's possible to come away from a relationship traumatized even if no one did anything wrong. I've [probably] talked about how the way Jo comforts her at the station feels like he's doing it for her sake and pushing his own feelings down, but neither of them is really buying it. If that's a pattern in their relationship, perhaps he wouldn't have been able to communicate if maybe what they were doing was dredging up bad memories, if he wanted to stop but didn't think she did. So to go through with it, then get the news months later…

Either way, the fact Ikumi couldn't bring herself to tell him she was pregnant until nothing could be done would, for Jo, invariably cement the feeling he has no control over what happens around him. I think the sense of powerlessness he felt is why he blew up at her when she told him, because it's really the only time we see him lash out like that at her. At the park, he objects to going back for Masato, sure, but he's passive. And I think that unbroken pattern of powerlessness in his life [which CSA would only compound on] is why he's so reactionary, why he's so emotionally dysregulated, why he expresses his rage through what basically amounts to power-tripping.

But I do think Jo does have a great deal of awareness. A lot of his wording when he's telling Ichi about it borders on poetic, or at the very least candid and effective. That requires both prior reflection and a command of language. I think there's a lot he understands deep down, at least after sitting with it for long enough, but he isn't capable of voicing--or doesn't know how to voice--what's on his mind, most of the time.

So when he joins the Arakawa Family, when he rises the ranks and has that control back, his control has to be near-absolute. If it's undermined in any way--such as, for example, a certain someone failing to answer a call within two rings--he loses it. On the other side of the coin, I do feel a lot of why his devotion and gratitude towards Arakawa goes to the extent it does, why he's so comfortable with him, is because Arakawa gave him the safety of the Arakawa Family, gave him back his autonomy, gave him the environment--and treated him with enough humanity to give him the reason--to learn to regulate himself, to better himself.

And Arakawa /gets/ trauma. He really does. Aside from his own abusive background, literally the only time the word trauma comes out of any character's mouth in this series, it's Arakawa's. It comes back to Jo saying others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had; that never changed, did it?

Lastly, For Funsies [<- LIE. COMPLETE LIE. TURN BACK NOW] I wanted to go through the items on this [CSA] Survivors' Aftereffects Checklist I could check off with near-certainty. 19/34, by the way, give or take. Now, as I said at the beginning, there are existing concrete reasons for why he has many of these experiences… but it's like the trans allegory with Masato, To Me… If I can check off over half the list based on a very limited backstory and an hour of screen time total, that's indicative of a notable overlap… TO ME…

Note that the book this list is from was published in 1990 and focuses on women's experiences. It was a huge step forward in giving survivors a voice back when a lot of existing research indicated CSA had neutral or even positive effects on children, but it's definitely a product of its time. With that out of the way…

Wearing a lot of clothing, even in summer […]

To be fair, most male characters in RGG are fully-covered and have near-unchanging designs, and it's winter in both 2000/2001 and presumably 2019, but… when it comes to Jo, it feels a little different.

He does have Some Heavage in his twenties [although the necklace takes the attention off of his actual chest], but as time goes on, he shows less and less skin and adds more and more layers. When he has the gloves on, it leaves no skin exposed at all, and there's this direct symbolic correlation with secrecy that isn't there for other characters. And if you're wearing three layers of leather [or even one], you can neither feel what you're touching nor feel anything touch you.

Pure Speculation, but I just can't really see him underdressed for any occasion… That's why his fit in Day with the Sun is funny as hell but also… yeah…

As a behavior, if it's rooted in anything, it's probably rooted in having to hide signs of physical abuse, of course--but then he kind of already had an excuse, with how he was constantly getting into fights. I guess it depends on the specifics, but I think it's interesting to consider this as one way CSA victims attempt to regain control of their bodies, avoiding emotional discomfort at the cost of physical discomfort.

Self-destructiveness

It's nothing super overt, but I see this most clearly represented in his second boss fight in particular; his willingness to wield a blade bare-handed while using enough force he could very well render his hand useless. I think it's potentially also evident in how he has severe cataracts he chooses to ignore and allow to worsen, despite having the reasons and resources to undergo surgery to restore his vision. In doing so, he literally and figuratively blinds himself to so much.

I also kind of think the assassination of Hoshino/the anonymous call and The Eye Scene are examples of self-sabotage. I mean, he literally was sabotaging himself in the former, but it's also the specific way he feels the need to be physically taken down in order to be stopped--possibly a holdover from RGGJo, who's only too happy to be beaten into a coma.

I don't know… It's hard to pinpoint, but I feel like he would be averse to most of the more "obvious" self-destructive behaviors--especially when he has people in his life who might notice and worry, like Ikumi and Arakawa. That and because many of them are addictive. He's seen what that's done to his father, and he's also developed this incredibly rigid sense of discipline he can't maintain if he doesn't have a clear head.

From how he talks about himself [as having lost his humanity and lived a half-assed life], I definitely think he's at the very least unkind to himself, but I also think he does externalize it by provoking others to harm him [in the case of physical fights] and reject him. Like he needs some kind of proxy perpetrator. For some abuse victims, this specific manifestation of self-destructive behavior is a way to regain control--whether or not you "deserved it" back then, you do now, as a direct, logical result of your actions.

Need to be invisible, perfect, or perfectly bad

I think each of these needs manifests in different ways for Jo. The need to be invisible can be seen with authority figures (mainly Aoki, but also Arakawa in The Yubitsume Scene, a little; how drastically he pulls back and tries to act "normal")--this relates to what you were talking about with being reluctant to intrude or take up space. If you fall under the radar, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfect can be seen in his seemingly "impossible" standards, I would say. Of course, because we see things from Ichiban's perspective, we tend to see them as unfair and often arbitrary demands. But they aren't arbitrary to Jo, are they? They're standards he holds himself to through and through. If you're good, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfectly bad can be seen in and relates to much of what I discussed under self-destructiveness [The Eye Scene and the way he antagonizes Ichiban specifically by making himself out to be worse than he is]. If you must get hurt, it can at least "make sense"--be "deserved."

Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsession (including "passive suicide")

Obviously he's not like… Mine Levels Of Overtly And Consistently Suicidal, and he doesn't attempt suicide himself, but at the same time, I have to note his total ambivalence towards Aoki seeing him as a "bullet" (a kind of hitman sent on suicide missions). He agreed to what he himself viewed as a suicide mission and he didn't care what would happen to him afterward, as he says to Joon-gi, Zhao, and Adachi.

Aside from that, I certainly feel he's at least had passive thoughts like wanting to disappear or wishing he'd never been born. Y'know. Nothing concrete, but reflective of his mental state, and just as detrimental to dwell on long-term.

I think there's a sort of childishness [for lack of a better word] to thoughts like these [in that they're impossible], but also a level of maturity in that it probably doesn't escalate to something more actionable because he understands he has responsibilities he can't abandon. I think if he was ever seriously suicidal, it would be at the points of his life where he really didn't have any responsibility to anyone, like between Ikumi leaving and him joining the family, or after he was arrested.

Depression (sometimes paralyzing) […]

I'm trying not to over explain going forward because I Have BEEN Overexplaining It Is SUCH A Disaster… he's depressed If You Have Eyes And/Or Ears… I'll leave it at that…

Anger issues; inability to recognize, own, or express anger; constant anger […]

Lol

Rigid control of one's thought process; humorlessness or extreme solemnity

Relates back to what I was saying about how disciplined he is [and expects everyone else to be], but in general, he's incredibly, incredibly serious and focused. I don't think he's /entirely/ humorless [but then again, very few people are]; I just think his specific sense of humor is. Like. What Is Your Problem [I Know What Your Problem Is I Have Been Discussing It In EXCRUCIATING Detail But What The Fuck Is Your Problem]

Trust issues; inability to trust (trust is not safe); total trust; trusting indiscriminately

That's why he was planning on taking his secret to the grave, isn't it? It was only when faced with the realization it would soon be too late to say anything that he was able to tell Ichiban. He could've trusted Arakawa, should've been able to, but… in his mind he never could.

This book [and this checklist] is about "incest" actually, but it redefines "incest" to mean any instance of CSA perpetrated by any individual the victim trusts or has an expectation of being able to implicitly trust. Which… is most CSA as we understand it today, so I've edited some parts to just say that.

Anyway, I've never given much thought to the specifics of what Jo might've experienced--who did it, what happened, how long it went on, etc.--so there's no conclusion I can draw here [and elsewhere, I'm sure]… but even without that, to grow up unable to trust the one person who should be in his corner, his father, and to have his trust betrayed by Ikumi, it's no surprise Jo ended up like this either way. So… I'm happy he had the courage to tell Ichi, in the end.

High risk taking ("daring the fates"); inability to take risks

I think these are supposed to be mutually exclusive, but to me, Hoshino's assassination and Arakawa's assassination represent both sides of the coin, although they're not the only examples. There are risks Jo won't think twice about taking and risks that paralyze him.

Boundary issues; control, power, territoriality issues; fear of losing control; obsessive/compulsive behaviors (attempts to control things that don't matter, just to control something)

Lol…

Guilt, shame; low self-esteem, feeling worthless; high appreciation of small favors by others

Lmao Even…

Feeling demand to "produce and be loved"; instinctively knowing and doing what the other person needs or wants; relationships mean big tradeoffs (love was taken, not given)

I actually think this encapsulates a lot of what I've been saying about his work ethic, his ideas of discipline, and his relationship with Ikumi, but I also think it's why Masato took a liking to him. His attentiveness. It ties back into wanting to be perfect; when you're abused--especially long-term--you become attuned to observing and responding to any shifts in mood or tone. This is another area where I can't draw any conclusions relevant to my point, but it does certainly relate to his father's abuse, at any rate.

Abandonment issues

Kind of contentious… The anticipation of being abandoned by or losing someone he cares about appears to be worse than the actual experience. He's fine with Ikumi leaving him, and he's… not Fine With, but able to come to terms with Arakawa's death and Aoki's abandonment of him. At the same time, he really does try to make Ikumi's stay in his life comfortable, and he spends almost forty years doing his damnedest to keep his family together, whatever the cost. If I were to extrapolate from RGGJo, though, /he/ does have an obsessive, unhealthy attachment to Arakawa.

Blocking out some period of early years (especially 1–12); or a specific person or place

Ikumiiiiii that's what I'm SAYINGGGG

Feeling of carrying an awful secret; urge to tell, fear of its being revealed; certainty no one will listen; being generally secretive […]

Rofl Perhaps…

Denial; […] repression of memories; pretending; minimizing ("it wasn't that bad") […]

He admits to it himself. Not much else to say. Though I don't think he necessarily minimizes what he's been through by dismissing how bad it was; rather, he tends to overestimate his ability to move past it.

Pattern of ambivalent or intensely conflictive relationships (intimacy is a problem; also focus shifted from [CSA] issues)

Also kind of contentious… we don't see a pattern of romantic relationships, as I assume the author meant here, but at the same time, the romantic relationship and non-romantic relationships we do see fit this pattern. I guess I'd say I definitely think intimacy /would/ be a problem, and he /wouldn't/ be ready to address his issues.

Limited tolerance for happiness; active withdrawal from happiness, reluctance to trust happiness ("ice=thin")

The quote that prompted this ask in the first place. It's sort of connected to the point about humorlessness and extreme solemnity; if that was the "what," this is the "why." He doesn't know how to relax ["holidays don't exist" and all], he doesn't have much to be happy about, but even rarer is the occasion where he doesn't feel too conflicted in the moment to be able to enjoy himself. That's just how I see him.

[…] verbal hypervigilance (careful monitoring of one's words); quiet-voiced, especially when needing to be heard

EXACTLY what I was talking about in this ask, so I'm leaving that one up to past me…

......

... That's It That's The Essay I'm going to hibernate until Infinite Wealth comes out and somehow refutes my points but UNTIL THEN. Farewell, take care, and once more, don't worry too much about matching my energy… Like I Said if I were the one receiving this ask I'd just delete my blog, so… I'll just be happy to know you read it :] If That lmao

ok i read it :) 👁️👁️ READMYTAGSTHERESMORETHEREIPROMISE

[thetangibleghost]

I gotta confess it is so much more fun talking to Sal as if he is a separate person like he wants and not a member of the system. He's super creative like. Its just fun.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Admiiinnn do you write for platonic sagau?

Me wanna request my son (Razor) ue.

Because most of the fics I've read is just the creator falling on Mondstadt but never other places! I want them to fall on Wolvendom and maybe meet the wolf boy 🐨

I imagine he doesn't know/able to describe what he's feeling (not understanding human emotions and stuff because he grows up with wolves and all). But he really likes this feeling of peace and feeling like he belongs! So he'll stay with this random person that just dropped out of nowhere, and teach them how to survive in the wild too!

Unlike the overly-obsessed-head-over-heels acolytes, I think Razor will be like a worrywart bestfriend. You're his lupical now! It's his duty to protect other lupicals!

Days with him will literally be so fluffy ueueueu imagine we teach him how to cook things besides meat and puppy-paw hash browns (and teach him how to season them too! Good food always relies on taste after all). He'll just be like a little sibling that saw a very cool trick for the first time.

Aaaaa I wanna braid his long hair with flowers ue...

a request. A REQUEST. FIRST GENUINE REQUEST!! WOO!!!

AND A PLATONIC ONE?? 🥺 FOR THE BOY??🥺🥺THE MOST BOY IN ALL OF GENSHIN IMPACT???!!💖💖💖 YOU 🤝 ME = OUR LOVE FOR LIL ELECTRO FERAL PUPPY BOY

U get a whole slice of cake for that one. 🤲🍰💜

DUDE i totally thought abt (idk if u read it but its floatin around here smwhere,,) including Razor in the first Sagau idea post i made about Blunt Language reader vs. Teyvat's flowery language

TYSM FOR THE REQUEST!! I WILL DO MY BEST FOR THE BOY 💜✨️🐺

This gif encompasses everything i feel abt razor

Almost a part 2? But more like Bennett ft. Razor

Welp, you could've landed somewhere worse.

Like, accidentally-activated-Andrius-challenge worse.

You vowed to urself that if u ever got isekaied, or magicked away, or whatever else, u would not be those stupid protagonists who acted like they didnt know where they were

Or didnt adjust quickly to their new surroundings, esp if theyre life depended on it

U got this, u know exactly where u are rn. >:)

...

..Well, maybe not the exact location, but Wolvendom was pretty hard to mistake for anything else

The moon is full, and it looks to be about midnight or so,

A wolf howls.

...a little too close for comfort...

But hey, the lamp grass irl was so cute and pretty omg! <3

And it lit the ground nicely when u were nearby :) what a helpful aesthetic plant, so cool

Seeing a hilichurl camp further away, u slowly backed off into the woods away from the path u landed on (woke up on? Its unclear)

And up onto a small flat cliff thingy, filled with small lamp grass

U figured u werent getting anywhere tonight, i mean u rlly can't see jackshit rn, unlike in Genshin where the moon was almost as bright as the sun 💀

So ur just sittin on ur ass, wondering how tf ur gonna build a wolf-proof shelter when a bush shuffles nearby

...On ur little platform, how did u not hear whatever it was before now??

Too late now, bc u saw smth silver, and welp

U knew there were wolves, (its wolvendom)

But since u never saw any in game u kinda assumed they were like Earth wolves and were unlikely to get near a human like u-

Turns out u were probably wrong- the silver flashes in the bush- u get up and brace urself to run screaming and begging on ur knees for Andrius to take u in like-

.

..

...?

...Razor?? 😐😑😐

...

RAZOR!! :D!!!

It's the Best Boy™️!!!!!

The bestest boy ever sticks his head out of the bush

!!!??? His head tilts like a puppy in confusion ur heart💘

"...Lupical??" He says in the most confused ass tone youve ever heard

🥺

"Oh! Yes! Hello," you introduce yourself, "Can you help me? I got kinda lost here, but I don't really have a home to go back to,,"

Razor stands out of the bush, shaking his head back and forth like a dog, his hair nearly whips u in the face lmao

You: "AHH- uh- so, do u know somewhere I can go??"

Razor: "Mhm. Here. Razor like you, feel like Lupical. Stay?"

He asks, his eyes bright and shiny (not the puppy dog eyes)

Well, u figure if he can literally be raised by wolves and still be alive, so can u

(U figure itd be hard to convince Diluc to let u stay w/ him, and u dont have money for an inn in Mondstadt.. u dont even kno abt Springvale... wolf woods it is)

Plus, maybe u can help him out a bit! (it always did irritate u in game that nobody rlly checked on him/helped him live better >:/ )

"Oh! Y-yeah! That sounds great, are u sure ur family's- uh- other Lupical, r ok w/ that?" U hella dont wanna have to wrestle other wolves just for some raw food bc yall gotta share 💀

"Yes, come, I teach!" :D

___

AND SO BEGINS UR ADVENTURES WITH RAZOR

Bbyboy got ur heart in a vice gripe lol

Turns out he lives in a cave, that wasn't rlly available in game

His bed is just kinda,, moss and leaves, maybe one fur pelt

So obv u start gettin chests and get money to buy him better stuff!

Plus monsters drop money too (the slimes just bring u money?? W/o u having to defeat them?? Whos paying all these monsters anyway, where do they get this money-)

.

Also bc i HATE that u r just a regular ass human in other SAGAUs, imma keep it canon and say u can still upgrade Vision Users/Allogenes + all the regular game mechanics besides time manipulation, including quest log and inventory (bc that still exists here fuck regular sagau BS)

(bc how would u prove ur the Creator otherwise? How would u live up to that if u didnt have powers?? Isnt that the whole point of why they think ur the Creator???!! Did I miss smth here-??)

.

So ofc u give the boy the comfiest bed of pillows and furs and handmade quilts (Springvale's very talented and friendly turns out :)

And new clothes!! :D new outfits pop up on his character screen!! (It just kinda,, hovers like a hologram screen in front of him when u click a button u see hovering over his chest at all times)

.

U also teach him how to comb his hair.

(J. F. C. I dont even wanna think. abt how bad it is, a kid raised by wolves, in the woods w/ little human contact?? ill leave that to ur imagination)

He really loves the lamp grass flowercrowns u make him :) <3

.

Also yes.

We have to talk about it.

U got him soap.

And perfume. (That are still scented but not enough that he hates it thank fuck-)

.

Razor seems like he'd react to everything with either worry for ur safety (BEST BOY EVER) bc sm stuff u do is unfamiliar to him,

OR just like u said anon, like a little sibling u showed a magic trick to for the first time <3333

.

Like?? U can?? Use salt?? Pepper??? On food??? That u have cooked???!!!

Omg, his grubby little hands snatch that shit outta ur pan so quick 😭😭

He's literally scarfs down anything u make him

Oh god the wolves.

If u thought Razor loved ur food, the Lupical pack is on a whole different level.

They're such sweet doggos bc ur technically Lupical now too (Razor gave u a tooth necklace like his :] )

!!! PUPPY PILES !!! 🤲🐺💖💜✨️✨️✨️

And theyre never violent, even their play fighting is pretty tame

But the food.

Ur seasoned. New recipe. Food.

The first time u made a new dish with salt alone

It was a fucking free for all. (including Razor😭)

.

So now u have a schedule of who gets what when (as insisted and aided by Andrius himself, it got so out of hand,, paw??)

Congratz u got a pack of little siblings now, w/even the "will be bribed w/any food u give them" feature too

.

Razor loves u sm, he feels so safe around u!!

He usually cant articulate it, but u can tell by how he clings to ur arm whenever yall go into human towns so he wont lose u,

Or how he'll offer u some of his portion of food always (even if u made it)

.

and he's happy to do all these new things w/ u !!

(i sure as fuck know id get bored af if i was just,, in the woods,, all day everyday,,, not even a book to read,,,)

So needless to say he joins u for nearly everything u do

Esp monster hunting/grinding for his artifacts + weapon + stuff

Razor sees it as his job to look out for Lupical, esp if his favorite (besides Andrius) has to leave pack territory

.

Also yes, u DID meet The Andrius.

He was. So much. Bigger. Than you. Expected.

The game doesn't do him justice.

He's literally the size of a fucking school bus.

Also, apparently Razor didnt rlly know what u were, mostly bc he just feels ur comfort and safety, no words needed

But Andrius does, and he immediately explains how Teyvat sees u and even does a wolfy bow with his head lowered onto his front paws (ahdkala Andrius pls ur a gOD GET UP)

He's also surprisingly helpful and nice to u, very polite big doggo, a good leader (alpha??)

.

Lisa is hella grateful for u and all the help/care u give the bestest boy ever

(even tho u did give her the stink eye at first bc,, why didnt she teach him how to take care of himself? And even if he didnt want to join human society at least make sure he's in liveable conditions?? Hes not even an adult???)

But at least she also agrees he's the bestest boy ever, she always brags about how quickly he learns language (both writing reading and speaking) to anyone she knows

Which did endear u to her a little more (plus she apologized for not looking out for him more, or at least asking someone else to/check up on him)

.

U kinda think she (and the rest of Mondstadt) dont really realize ur some kind of Creator god,

Mostly bc u dont really stay in Mondstadt long, just to get essentials and see what it looked like in person (smtimes to visit Bennett and Fischl :D )

(U mostly only know that bc Andrius claims its so, hes very insistent too)

But ur spending most ur days with Razor anyway so it doesnt matter to you two whether ppl know what u can do

.

Razor was practicing his writing one time (bc u also help him out at home/Wolvendom when Lisa isnt)

And he carved "Razor loves Lupical and [You]" into a tree near yalls cave

:')

🎵 JESSSSUSSS CHRISSSSTTT THIS IS TOO LONGGG

BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE EDITINNGGGGG🎵

I didnt know where to end it i got sucked in dont LOOK at me-)

Uh anyway i hope this was adequate!! Sorry this was ungodly long!! I will limit myself in the future 🥲

Tysm again for the request and if u read this far LMAO!!

<3

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius ♒️ 💧🌌🌘

[stackslip]

augh yeah as much as i do love the parts of COS that are very obviously trying to do something competent and genuine, the amestris parts are just so ????

ill be honest, im pretty sure i blocked those scenes out, so remembering that what happened on the amestris side is. yikes

definitely wish the movie was more focused and didnt try to add as much as it did. especially roy -- i dont mind the beginning, hell i think him exiling himself to the north is a good concept, but the fact that he takes back his position (iirc) is just. so are we throwing away the character development and him realizing that he CANT change the military from the inside or what.

in general i honestly wanted to see less of the military cast. they frankly dont have much reason to be there other than the fact people wanted to see them (esp armstrong... just. WHY). im sure there are still ways to work in roy if the creators really wanted him to be there but like. idk! they sure didnt have to do it like that! we couldve spent more time on exploring noah as a character. or let izumi die on screen. sigh

been a while since i rewatched COS but thanks for pointing out all the weird stuff, i'd almost forgotten it and i honestly shouldn't.

(and of course i have to say i love your posts on the series proper. i will never be normal about scar. ever)

the second i saw roy in there i was like why is roy still in the military at all. wasn't his whole arc about realizing that he can't do shit within the military because it is an institution built on atrocities and exploitation? why is he still in it then. why is he talking about serving his country. why's he talking about waiting for ED that makes no fucking SENSE. (why is he alive. someone said they thought roy was supposed to die by the end of 03 but they kept him alive bc he's a fan fave and i wholly believe this frankly). why is the country's military still seemingly intact with a whole surveillance network, when 03 ended on the military being severely crippled and amestris's neighbours getting ready to invade it and bring it to its knees? why are we literally seeing *the fucking weimar republic* in cos only for amestris to not parallel it in any way and instead be the brotherhood-type funland where once you've taken out the mean führer, everything is fine and there's nothing to fix?

and like. this is a short movie right! i know that they were denied a season, maybe even a season and a half to finish off the show and that some elements of cos were meant to be in the og show's ending. and it shows! bc again munich is fucking reasonably competent considering how much is crammed in on hour thirty. and i know that cos's production was also rushed as hell and that as an Anime Movie they were contractually obligated to 1) put as many recurring fan faves in as possible 2) have at least a third of the movie be a big action scene. so like. i can understand the limits. you have no time, you're told you have to put all this shit in, you want to finish off the brothers' story at the very least. but my gd! you're telling me you had an izumi death scene and it doesn't happen??? you could cut roy out ENTIRELY from this. you could not put ARMSTRONG IN LIORE. you could..... i know they had no time at all, i know once again it was 03 being shafted by production committees and time and budget but it's legit insane how the very stupid and seemingly innocuous choice of having armstrong "rebuild" liore comedically completely slapped me out of whatever headspace cos had managed to slip me in before. i was enjoying it a lot until we got to amestris. and this armstrong thing, followed by rose's line here:

it's just. it's almost comedic. i'm almost wondering if the writer is fucking with me here and acknowledging just how stupid it is to put armstrong doing alchemy in liore is. probably not but gd this is bad. this is brotherhood levels of obliviousness to the themes.

anyhow i'm not finishing cos tonight bc i'm too pissed about it lol. it's funny bc for years i was told it was bad but for the opposite reasons that it's actually bad. like folks kept saying the munich parts were bad/stupid/wrong and made no sense when to me they're by far the most thematically coherent and interesting/emotional bits of it. i LOVE the relationship between noah and ed. and like, i know the bar is is in hell when it comes to depicting roma on screen, but i can't help but appreciate the little and big ways both noah and her people get humanized, how they feel like the most real and concrete part of this world ed insists is a dream or hell. but really, genuinely noah is so good, alfons's weird crush on ed is hysterical, the general atmosphere and research around 1923 munich seems genuinely thoughtful (and it also tells me that the writers had been thinking about this long, long before even 03 ended). i genuinely believe that making munich! hugues a nazi sympathizer and a racist is a really inspired and brave choice that makes the audience reflects THEIR hugues and how the amestrian military behaved. so anyhow these parts are good, genuinely. it's sad that that's the first third and then you get thrown into this mess, and there's still a whole stupid nazi battle to come. it's stupid. it's stupid especially bc there's a genuine part of the movie that IS smart and thoughtful. it'd be so much easier if all of it were bad, or if the difference between the writing in each part weren't so obvious. anyhow. i wanna finish cos bc i wanna see wrath's arc end and envy eating hoheinheim and ed/al reunion and more of noah. but also i think i'm gonna be writing off large chunks of it lol.

(also thank you very much, i'm trying to preach 03 to whoever i can whenever i can. appreciate the love)

[okkottsus]

I love reading your analysis of Nagireo!

One thing I was wondering, what do you think of Nagi (foreshadowed) future slump?

I feel like things will get dire for him, and I can't help but wonder how Reo would react.

Nagi feels very... emotionally immature and while Reo can be very fiery and we saw how emotional he can get, he's the one that feels more in touch with his own emotions and has better life experience.

For better or worse, being away from Reo forced Nagi to confront his own feelings more.

I wonder if Reo won't realize they got back together too early and leave him (this time maybe more amicably? Or maybe force himself to leave him) for his own sake.

Ego's dialog feels very ominous... they were very happy in that moment but there is a very sense of "now what?".

thank u so much, i feel like i never express myself well enough esp with characters and relationships im passionate abt so that means a lot 🥺

yeah i get what u mean about nagi's emotional immaturity...in the latest match, when isagi asked him how he was able to make his best play yet a reality, nagi  didnt really understand what had happened. he only wanted to beat isagi, that has been his first goal, the first step to achieve the bigger dream he shares with reo. 

and while he himself couldnt see that, reo was the first to notice despite everything that happened between them, so he created a chance for him to have a 1v1 with isagi. 

the problem is that, as isagi points out later, if u dont understand how u made something happen, you probably wont be able to be consistent and replicate it (this has been a recurring theme of blk since the start of the manga):

a goal that u only made happen because u had the person who knows u the best and is your closest friend give you exactly what you need in the moment, has little value in the grand scheme of things. Without a clear goal and reo’s help, nagi wouldnt have been able to do something like that. 

So the next step he should be taking is working on his weapons, instead of relying on the perfect opportunities reo can provide him with.

maybe its time for nagi to try and catch up to reo, and not only in terms of play-making 

but also in terms of self awareness 

i also love the fact that while reo can seem completely selfless when he declares this, he is also completely selfish, cause at the end of the day hes doing this for his dream, for himself. he loves playing with nagi and making him score goals, but his hard work which got him to where he is now doesnt rely on nagi being there, he hasnt abandoned himself in favor of nagi. 

BUT he still seems to always choose nagi over anyone when they are playing together and even though my shipping heart is tempted, i think thats not a good thing at all... cause their cooperation may be top class, but it also makes them predictable after a while. 

reo has learnt to play without nagi, but he needs to learn how play with nagi without forgetting everyone else on his team. 

so the way i see it, reo has made more significant progress than nagi, but he still needs to work on seeing the bigger picture when nagi is by his side.

nagi on the other hand has even more things he needs to work on. he shouldnt feel reassured bc of that one (miracle) goal or bc he managed to beat isagi once. if he ended up satisfied with just that, then he wouldnt belong in the world of professional players

Ego is right when he said that confidence and delusion are 2 different things. Nagi needs the power that will enable him to fight alone in any situation and to obtain that power, he has to confront his feelings, his weapons and his shortcomings. and that demands soul searching, practice and a lot of thinking, all things i bet nagi thinks are a pain pftt.

but i want to be optimistic and think of this as another challenge he (actually, both of them) will have to conquer. im very conflicted though, cause the way i see it, what reo needs to work on now requires them to be on the same team, while what nagi needs to work on requires alone time.

in conclusion, things may have worked out between them in terms of understanding each other, but im hoping they start understanding themselves more; acknowledging their weaknesses and taking the necessary measures to overcome them. 

i do think that reo the way he is now is more likely to realise what needs to be done than nagi, whose issues are the most urgent in my opinion. so i can def see them going their separate ways for a while again, whether its reo making that decision, or nagi, or both of them together (with the latter being the ideal for me).

[himbopunk]

i am rotating lucky and david in my mind.

i think their relationship starts from a place of like, youre the only person in this group with anything resembling understanding, but they still have such a specific idea of the other despite this. ig on both sides partially due to the fact that david wouldve intentionally kept quiet on the whole. everything w his history w xavier, xmen, new mutants, etc. so lucky would only ever know so much until he gets to krakoa and even once he does he respects why david kept it to himself even if david is kinda frustrated with himself for wrapping lucky up in it like. idk. i think like lucky sees david as a really kind person first and foremost, which idk if david like. agrees with but i think the same could be said vice versa. lucky feels indebted somewhat to david for helping him but at the same time david Knows that even with all the context of who he is, that lucky would have let him crash or lie to the fucking xmen or w/e to protect him without a second thought so its like. idk man. ride or die.

i also wanna think about maybe luckys alters' relationship w david too. xanthe seems pretty comfortable w him but xanthe is usually kinda just gonna do her own thing

i think caine didnt have much of an opinion Until the xavier reveal, after which it was very wary and concerned on what was being kept from them. idk that it Dislikes david n co but its more like. inability to let their guard down.

lio's pretty noided lot of the time...hm.. i think krakoa in general's kinda got them worked up and on edge. but david was around Before so he's a somewhat comforting constant but even that's been changed by circumstance soooooooo. idk. lio's antsy

?? and kit i still have to consider how theyd even meet.

ALSO on a tangent i am considering lucky having a mentor moment with magneto on account of the nature of luckys systems powers being electromagnetic in origin, plus i feel like. magneto would express frustration? disappointment? regret? about lucky slipping through the cracks when it came to the various mutant movements or w/e over the years more than xavier would. at the very least because of luckys association with david and xavier being a bit wary due to that and his inability to treat him normally (which could potentially get extended to lucky esp considering the ways in which they r similar)

i'm rly wanting. another xguy tohave a poignant interaction w them too but im not sure who besides the Big Two, and obv david and kurt. thinks

idk whatever

Edit not technically /xguy/ but could potentially be around is mb pietro. i think it would be interesting for him to run into lio. aghhhhh i still gotta draw their internal forms + visual signifiers/personal styles

[fandomrouletteburrito]

Trying to get into the beast!skk tag and everyone has such good takes on it that only make it so much angstier and now im crying over it

Canon manga, Beast manga and stage play spoilers and suicide and depression mentions

I dont think i will ever emotionally recover from Dazai leaving Chuuya and how unbelievably cruel it was

Like honestly… I dont even blame Dazai just because imagine learning theres a world out there where your future(?) best friend is dead and you find out about this BEFORE you realize the value your relationships you will build anyway have like

Its like kicking someone while their down

So when the time comes for potentially realizing the value of your relationships you miss it because you’ve already chosen your path and now to you all thats left is to execute it

And holy shit that hits a little too close to what suicidal tendencies can be

Like I want to be angry with Dazai for not realizing how cruel his actions in the end were but I cant cuz I understand how he got there

Reading about Chuuya’s reaction in Beast honestly just made Beast hurt so much more cuz I didnt feel anything about the ending until hearing about Chuuya and esp how he dragged Atsushi back in

Theres a post going around about how Dazai failed in the end when Chuuya opted to drag Atsushi back in and thats what really hurt

the what if situation of if Dazai had just seen the present and the whole thing maybe things wouldnt have ended the way it did but ah we dont get to have that in life do we? Kind of how we say: oh if only this person who committed suicide had just seen xyz when really the whole thing about depression and stuff is how you CANT see that.

Also the fact Asagiri kind of canonizes that Chuuya would go insane if he lost Dazai jeeeeeez that soulmate shit really isn’t here to be messed with huh

Makes me wonder what would happen in canon though if Chuuya has to live on knowing Dazai is dead because thats very different from missing because I am partly convinced Dazai wont survive the current arc and if not the current arc then he wont survive the entire series

[sleepingmire]

Omg Hiiii! Thank you for answering!!!!!

(I'm sliding back in your dms for some best girl Jules content)

do you have some writing or some art for her planned? ( i swear i saw a fic about her and tyr on ao3)

Also what are her relationship with characters like Freya, Sindri, Thor etc?

YOOOOO!! best anon in the world hello omg !! dude feel free to slide in anytime – these asks give me life ngl

HNGNG there was a fic that I wrote and I did keep posted for a while. It was called ‘No Light No Light’ after the f+tm song (it’s very jules and tyr coded, especially their early marriage and also it’s just a banger song in general). But I don’t know, I wrote it while I was stuck in a really bad writing rut, to try and kick myself out of it? And tbh I kinda hated it so I took it down :”))) Although, I was thinking about rewriting it/continuing it! It follows how Jules and Tyr met, and like the relationship between the Aesir and the Olympians? Which I feel like could be interesting.

As for upcoming fics and art!! Hmm.. I am currently working on a COD fic that i'm really excited about, so it'll probably be a little while before I get any jules fics out -- altho i guess it depends on what you wanna see?? But in terms of art, my uni term has just ended so im finally having time to get back into it! I want to draw her again because by the gods i miss her :')) she is so lovely to me

Okay so this is going to be a pretty long one, so the rest is under the cut.

OHOHOH cracks knuckles let me tell you

______

Heimdall -- he was a little boy when Jules and Tyr just got married, and since his mother wasn't in the picture, she def mothered him alot. Doted on him, calling him her 'little magpie' because he liked her jewellery. Although, as he grew up Odin obvs wanted him to be a certain way, and esp with Odin and tyr's disagreements, jules and tyr would spend time away form the aesir gods. This created some mad issues between her and heimdall as he grew up, especially as he started being alot like Odin/the heimdall we know, he could see with his powers that in her mind she was starting to dislike the person he was becoming. But even to this day, she still viewed him as her boy, and it was actually her unconditional love/trust that got her captured !

(for some backstory, tyr was captured and imprisioned by Odin. And Odin, being actually kind of a smart dude even if he is a pos, is like ?? ayo?? Hmm maybe let's not let his Olympian (scary strong) wife who very much loves him be running around on the loose, especially is she thinks i killed him. So what if we capture her?? ((he didnt want to kill her because u know how when Olympians die it like, wreaks havoc??)) and so he basically send heimdall to be like, 'hey!! im so sorry about being distant but tyr is this way come on!' and lead to Odin, who was disguised as tyr, and when she jumped into his arms he like, put magic cuffs/collar thing that makes her not be able to use her magic? and imprisoned her somewhere in musphelheim (hot hot place for hot hot lady who, if she died or escaped, couldn't use her powered to melt/destroy shit)

After she gets out, she misses/hurts/greives him but also like, understands that he was kind of a shit person, even if it wasn’t entirely his fault.

*

Sif -- Slay besties for real. Espeically once she settled in, I feel like she'd easily fall into pace beside sif, espeically since (at that time) neither of them had kids. Very much like, real houswives of the Aesir kinda energy except they are all judging everyone else together. I feel like they'd both be pretty interested in like, each other's country's versions of femininty? Like, how sif is the embodiment of being a woman in norse and Aphrdoite (jules) is also like, peak feminitny (kinda) in greek mythos.

After ragnarok I think her and jules would be working together to rebuild, and she would be hella empathetic? Especially since for the last like century or whatever she believed her own husband (who she loved dearly) to be dead. And like, thor while a pos dad and an asshole, sif loved him?? And he loved her?? And they really did try?? Idk I feel like jules would help take care of her because she knows what that’s like.

*

Thor -- at least in these games, seems very women respect-y. I feel like he'd respect her and almost kind of admire her/like her more than his brother? Tyr is a little bit uppity (at least from thors perspective) and jules is a bit more >:)) commit crimes and cause problems on purpose. In saying that though, I feel like they'd probably never be too close and mainly would spend time together because of Tyr/Sif.

*

Freya -- her and freya used to be besties, they both kinda knew what it was like to be the outsider (?) wife from a different place. But both freya and jules are both super stubborn/bull headed, and esp when it came down to baulder. That's when freya said something to her (to be fair, in freya's defence jules was probably way overstepping even if it came from a place of care/kind of what happened between herself and heimdal) she held a grudge in typical olympian fashion.

*

Sindri/Brok -- I think that maybe she didn't interact with them too much? I'd like to thing though that maybe her and Sindri got along better than say, her and brok. I imagine that maybe one time she helped them forge something using her sunpowers, like a cool weapon or something maybe as a gift for tyr. Otherwise, they are on good terms. Also, I think especially due to the fact that like, craftsman ship was a very admired/masculine thing in greek life, maybe she'd have a bit of admiration for their craft?/the dwarves in general. Appreciating the fact that while they make very good weapons/structures/devices etc, they also make them beautiful.

_____

Hmm... I'm trying to think of some other people that she interacted with. OH HAHA there's a running joke in my friend group where like, Freyr is Jule's and Tyr's third (mainly because I think he's handsome but whatever) And i feel like, especially as jules has no real internal fealty to the Aesir apart from Tyr, who himself is always kinda teetering on a blades edge, she tends to appreciate/befriend people even outside of their 'allies' kinda thing. (This wily willful nature maybe also pissed Odin off, who was expecting like, maybe someone like Harmonia)

Also here are some bonus teehees and bits about tyr n jules specifically because they are little running jokes and make me teehee a bit:

Tyr, early on in their marriage when things were still a bit shaky between them and jules was taking out her frustrations/fear on him, he tried to take her to Vanaheim as a cute little like, date thing? also to get her out of Asgard. Anyway, him being a dork nerd was like 'BY MY BEARD, JULIUS!! look at these wonderful specime--' and then the flower like, exploded colour all over her dress, staining it and she was HELLA pissed. And then, a few days later he tried to buy her a bouquet of vanaheim flowers as an apology, and they were also. pollen staining ones. Let's just say he slept on the couch for a few days after that.  Now everytime they go to Vanaheim together she treats him like a child at a grocery store -- hands INSIDE the trolley, look with your eyes not your hands, PUT THAT DOWN!! YOURE NOT GETTING THAT put it back !

ALSO ! theres a running joke that Tyr has like, water-proof journals (so his tears dont make the ink run) he writes into like a tween girl everytime jules is 'mean' to him. 'dear diary, today my beloved light-of-my-life jules called me a dork and said that the french toast i made her was 'alright'. I will never recover.' followed by a page of poetry about how his beloved has betrayed him.

He feeds her well is all im saying. Mans can cook and shes sitting on the bench holding the bowl.

also jules funfact of the ask -- her name is Julius (roman/latin)/jules because its cute, but like her greek name is ιουλος (ioulos). I mainly chose the name jules despite it being hella inaccurate because 1) it's cute as hell and the nickname is cute and 2) idc that it's inaccurate, she's not real and plus it's my meow meow oc and i get to make the rules... also i dont really love alot of male greek names :')) (She was born a boy! And probably aligns more with genderfluid but mainly fem lady girlboss, she's a shapechanger becuase hmmm Aphrodite powers and also i said so)

Anyway im gonna end this up with a Spotify link to her playlist because !! I listened to it almost exclusively for like, 8 months so yeah. Love that gal.

thank you best anon in the world for letting my ramble abt my baby girl for 1.5k

[kkagsie]

furuba stage review - part 1?? (casting)

it’s been almost a year since furuba stage last came out, and i was only able to watch it now because i rewatched the anime. do take note that i watched the play without subs and solely relied on my story knowledge to understand the whole thing (they pretty much followed the OG storyline so this isn’t really an issue). 

warning: long post ahead!!

ps. all pics are taken from one of the official pvs

the casting

let’s start with the most important aspect of this (or any) play. the casting. and i kid you not, the casting for this is PERFECT.

when i first saw the cast list, i was lowkey in doubt with some characters seeing im somehow familiar with both the story and the actors (and how they play certain roles) but i was proven wrong when i actually watched the whole thing.

ayano christie yoshida (nogizaka46) who played as tohru, did absolutely great! tohru’s formal way of speaking, her gentle and calming vibe, she got it all down. the eye language (is that a thing?) was superb, considering that furuba has a lot of scenes where monologue comes into play.

Next we have hashimoto shohei (akutagawa - bsd stage, nishinoya - haikyuu engeki, leo - enstars stage) who played as kyo. Initially, i wasnt sure what to expect bc he has a versatile way of acting. but after seeing the true form arc (which i’ll get into detail in a separate post) i thought “yep, he’s perfect. he’s literally kyo in the flesh”. maybe the only thing i didnt particularly like was the fact that his voice tends to go up by a pitch when he screams (which is to say, kyo screams A LOT) but i thought it wasnt rlly an issue seeing that shohei’s voice is naturally high-pitched.

yuki .. OH GOD YUKI.. i might be a bit biased here because i rlly like naoya kitagawa, but to say that he’s the real life yuki is an understatement. he portrayed yuki with grace and elegance i cannot explain. so to say, he also portrayed tsukasa suou in enstars stage so i know he has a delicate performance, which suits yuki. his supposed intimate scenes literally had me dying because it was well executed. his fight scenes with kyo was amazing as he moved with grace despite being an intense scene.

i wont be commenting one by one on them as it’ll take forever to finish, so i only talked about the main trio. but here’s some honorable mentions.

kisa’s stage actress, erina kamata (im not so sure abt the name because i can barely find infos about her, correct me if im wrong), did the greatest. despite the young age, she was performing in par with the adults. her scene with hiro which she caught him doing mischief, the emotions whenever she says “hiro-chan”, the voice she did when kisa can barely speak, she did it all perfectly.

upon scrolling on twitter, i see people talking about ayame portrayed by hiroki nakata and he did not disappoint. he was able to exude ayame’s comedic energy and he did it without looking like a cringe. he was obnoxious, loud, outgoing, literally ayame. im not sure if his parts with shigure and hatori was adlib (esp the “yosh” part), but whether that was adlib or not, it still gave me a good laugh. he also had parts in between scenes that wasnt originally in the story (so im assuming those are adlibs that he had to do for some reason), but he did it with ease and it was perfect nonetheless. (i was too lazy to search for other pvs and this was the only steady shot on him. so in-character right haha)

—--

so for now, that is it for my furuba stage casting review. i feel like if i put my review on how they did significant scenes, and relationship portrayal, it’ll be a whole ass talk. will be putting that in part 2 if there will be one. thanks for coming to my tedtalk!

[joshriku]

Hi!!! I just read how do you sleep at night, your WandaJericho fic, and I'm having so many feels right now!!! Wanda's decision to getting a break from her relationship with Jericho made me like, oh wanda!

Her getting constantly anxious that nothing big is happening after their semi breakup was so sad. Girl is having grief in her romantic and maternal life since Vision's disassembling. It happens in reality too, when you are having constant drama and trauma in your life, you can't just suddenly adapt to peace. And you just start creating the drama and the unstable ness, whether you want it or not. Self Sabotage, or craving drama, you name it.

But the consequences that come with it—what always happens when she loves too much, the things that get ruined, the life she tries so hard to keep under control—it’s all so paralyzing. It’s as paralyzing as this touch. Oh dear!

And Jericho was so supportive! He was extremely right to be hurt, but I think he must have gotten an inkling later(maybe pietro?) about why is she behaving like that. I loved their Astral plane conversations, and "simply souls waving each other hello." This is so good!!

Also pietro!!! I loved how he just knew why Wanda is behaving like this. Self Sabotage indeed. The twin sense must have gotten activated. He is actually more emotionally intelligent about people he loves and cares, so that wasn't a surprise when he knew what wanda didn't want to admit yet. Also I knew it when he said he likes Jericho! Honorable mention Wanda's thought on how easy is to fight with pietro. Hope next years mini does twins justice.

Also Happy New Year!!

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 happy new year!! firstly thank you so much for such a lovely ask it really means a lot that you'd take the time to let me know you liked my writing, i really appreciate it!!!! 🥺🫶 already made my 2024 a great year!!

second AHHHHHH THANK YOU.. I LOVE WANDAJERICHO SO MUCH. ever since SW #9 when they reveal they're inexplicably exes / still have feelings but with "no strings" i've been like. oh?? what?? 😭 at first i was like, oh thats funny they dont strike me as characters who'd do No Strings Attached thing. but then i gave it more thought and started thinking of ways they COULD be and wanda essentially growing uneasy and anxious over a relationship that was going so well, when she is so used to things going wrong, came to me and i was like ohhh yes... thats it... now we got it 🫵 i can see her cutting things out before them getting "ruined". i really wanted it to be like, this relationship is *fine* and thats whats freaking her out!!

when i wrote this i wrote jericho with the intention that he knew exactly why she did it, but knowing it didnt change that she did hurt him, and the whole crutch of this story being that theyre both unequivocally very in love with each other still. still the case does remain that jericho is also very committed to his duties in the academy, esp after everything they went through - something wanda would also know firsthand. i think all those student deaths/the death of doctor strange/mandatory other marvel events would take its toll on anyone tbh i can see them trying to put at least a pause on everything while they try to fix the world. As Usual. i didnt write jericho immediately taking back wanda too because, yknow, it takes two to tango! BUT THEYRE SO GONNA WORK IT OUT. BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER THATS THE WHOLE POINT.. THEY NEVER STOPPED..IN MY HEAD. CAUSE I SAID SO AND THEYRE MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SHIP...

and AHH THANK YOU.. pietro in that fic was my favorite part 🫶 he loves wanda and hes really good friends with jericho of course hed have a deeper understanding of whats going on! i think pietro is a lot more emotionally intelligent than what most writers give him credit for. and if theres anyone who knows about self sabotaging or recognizing it on someone itd be him, and ESPECIALLY on wanda. defo one of my fave scenes to write in that fic 🥹 MAXIMOFF TWINS MY BELOVED..

Anyway this was a really long reply just to say that thank you SO much and this ask made my whole year and i am really grateful that you liked my fic!!!!!!! i liked writing it too!!! 💛💛💛

[upsidedowngrass]

do you think liam and stone would be friends if they ever met outside of The Plane again

HMM!!!

(put under a readmore cus i ended up talking a LOT lol :) )

i think they could be friends!!! i think stone liked the contestants. while im pretty sure stone picked liam to give the notes to 1) because he is a backpack. he can hold notes. and 2) he seems the MOST stubborn of all of the contestants, so think compared to the chance for things to end well (or at least, the best they COULD end), liam was the best bet to pick thru all possible courses of action

but even outside of that stone generally seems to like them all, helping bryce when he didnt need to, visibly looking guilty for having to sabotage amelia, etc. i think they showed liam one of the notes bc they WANTED him to understand that theyre trying to help, and i think there was a chance hed understand, but he just happened to Not. with everything we know abt stone (which unfortunately isnt much), he looks like he WANTS to help them because he cares, and i think they wouldve liked to be friends with them, and to have met all of them under better circumstances. (he obv knows about the concept of friends because he knows everything, but i think they dont really get many opportunities to meet New people given. being from a world of Just rocks) point is that i think stone would love to be friends w liam!!

whether or not LIAM would wanna b friends is a diff question tho. liam doesnt seem like the type of guy whod necessarily hold anything against stone, since he gradually seems to respect stone more and more as he follows the notes, but i think there Could be some discomfort there. if stone hadnt written the notes, he never wouldve gone to bryce, he never wouldve died a bunch more times, and he never wouldve gotten stuck in airys world. but then again, if they hadnt written them, if airy had still died, all of the contestants couldve been trapped on the plane literally forever, and julien wouldve been stuck in the waiting room forever

i think liam would still think about stone pretty fondly, and historically he hasnt really been concerned about 'people who could remind him of his time on the plane, but 'well this person reminds me of my time on the plane' given everything with bryce, but during all that he was still very much. not in the mentality of being at home. (after he got home, he seems to REALLY still feel stuck on the plane, esp if what he says to bryce is anything to go off of) it could be very different once hes home, and because? i think stone ended up kinda STILL being with him thru s2, just symbolically. so i think it could be complicated for liam

but all of this aside? i think any discomfort he may feel would maybe be set to the side. liams pretty passive by nature, and i think being able to be friends with stone would actually kinda end up giving him a sense of closure about some things!!! most of his interactions with stone WERE somewhat strained, but i think liam wouldnt rly even think abt that

i dunno!!! but i think theyd make good friends if they had the opportunity to meet again. liam makes conversation pretty easy when he wants to, even though its not smth he especially goes out of his way to do, but i think when he would like to he can be VERY annoying abt it. if he wanted some level of Knowing stone, because i think it could be Nice to have stone be less of this ominous figure whos motives werent super clear but did ultimately help (assuming in this hypothetical he and stone meet again on earth, but i think in airys world stone could be. actually pretty nice for him to meet again? dont know!) and instead this Person who helped him and his friends, he would be a bit stubborn about it, and maybe a bit awkward about it, but i think stone would be okay with it. stone seems very 'reluctantly WILL do things for the greater good but would like to do helpful things that DONT make people upset instead. wants to just get along with people but just ISNT in a situation where they can' and also generally patient (i think they have to be patient given the world theyre from) so i think itd work out!!!!

anyway this post is long and idrk how clear it is BUT its fun to think abt!!!! idk how liam would get the chance to meet stone again but i would LOVE if it did happen

[meyhew]

you don't have to share this if you don't wanna, but it really is a breath of fresh air on here to hear people actually point out what is obvious regarding the whole harry/zayn/1D thing. it is so clear that work on making harry the next timberlake was going on fullswing and zayn made a very smart decision for his career. he must have pissed so many off with that lmao and i am glad!! but also one thing that always confuses me is why louis INSISTS on them having been perfect best friends. the only person in the band he has publicly shown his anger towards is zayn. i have believed in larry for ten years now (although my understanding of it doesn't match most others’), but all throughout mitam promo I was very *side eye* towards louis and harry suddenly being friends laughing around interacting again. i still look at that time with so much skepticism. i would love to hear your thoughts (anything around what i rambled, and only if you like)

cannot believe we r still having these conversations in the year 2023 but i think we will always be having these conversations bc we will never know the complete truth. anyway i do think zayn & louis were genuinely really really good friends. they both have a similar working class background and both seem to take immense pride in it, so naturally that would lend to a strong foundation in a friendship. and idk to Me it isnt that confusing that louis would be angry with zayn. like i dont Approve of the things he's done/said to/about zayn but it i can understand how that would happen. people tend to be more hurt by those that are closest to them and those they value most. whether zayn left for his mental health or because of industry politics or both, it's understandable that louis might be more angry with zayn than if it were liam or niall—because he was always closer with zayn.

but anyway!! mitam erea is sooo fascinating to me esp as a larrie bc genuinely why were harry & louis all of a sudden besties in a way we hadn't seen in years? there was that theory abt them being promised a coming out and that was plausible at the time and even a Little bit in hindsight but maybe not. or it could be bc they were trying to divert attention fom zayn's departure and they had to do something to keep the fans happy & afloat, a very large chunk of whom at the time consisted of larries. who knows man. we will never find out what actually happened and none of it will really make a lot of sense. soooo much drama and over a boyband!

tldr i think louis' anger was borne of love bc zayn was his closest friend in the band and he didnt rlly know how to handle the departure

[jackienautism]

i rant about resident evil and their writing / inclusion of the girls.

i jsut want 2 girls to go on their fucked up little adventures together is that too much to ask

i finally got to the halfway point of code veronica X and GODDDD i fucking knew they were gonna do this goddamn shit w/ steve and claire. i knew from the goddamn beginning even if i didnt want to admoit it...... residetn evil just cant be normal w/ a girl being paired w/ a guy. they just fucking cant

i understand that this is seen more among the older games (ashley + leon from re4 as well) and i cant speak for the og re3 nemesis but the way they wrote carlos and jill? its just.... why make these male characters say such bizarre and degrading and just ? nasty comments towards the female protag? do you really expecvt us to root for them? i just dont fcuking undeerstand, and this occurs in a remake too! they didnt bother to maybe just maaaybe take that bulllshit out. because jill's uncomfortable. IM uncomfortable. its just. godddd who the fuck caaaares STOP THIS TROPE

you see this same thing w/ steve and claire.... not oonly is steve incredibly fucking annoying the first second we meet him, he also continually acts as a nuisance towards her for a good quarter of the game. yeah sure theyre just building up to the Ground Breaking Emo backstory drop later, but. you already made me fucking hate this loser so goddamn much meaning im not gonna give a single shit about his development later. I JUST DONT CARE FOR HIM !!!!!! THEM MAKING HIM SO ANNOYINH RUINED ANY CHANCE OF ME CHANGING MY MIDN LATER.......

and GOD havent even mentioned this yet but. when i saw the little preview thing w/ the 3 characters w/ claire + chris i saw [steve] and went.... [eyeballs] hello whos this? long story short i thoiught he was a butch lesbian and i got SO excite d b c residtn ebil has yet to pair a girl up w/ anothner girl around the same age but noooooo instead i got this pathetic loser of a man (derogatory). the closest we have to 2 girls being fucked up together is mia and zoe in re7. but thats like. mainly a side thing. and mia isnt even the protag so

which leads me to the next thng i wanted to talk about. i think mnmen are super cool ofc and i hate to be that Bitch and pull that Card but good freaking god why must there be a man FOR EVERY SINGLE FEMALE CHARACTER IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN SERIES...... andit woudlnt be huge deal if they were noraml w/ these pairings but theyre NOT..... THEY MAKE IT WEIRD EVERY SINGLE TIME..... STEVE LITERALLY ALMOST KISSES CLAIRE WHILE SHE'S ASLEEP........ CARLOS CONSISTENTLY MAKES UNNECESSARILY WEIRD COMMENTS TOWARD JILL......... ASHLEY RANDOMLY AWSKS FOR SEX AT THE END OF RE4............ WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT AOBUT? good for ashley for shooting her shot i guess though but considering yhe game's previous comments towards ashleu and her figure.... it was blatantly put in to sexualize her furtyher

maybe its thr lesbian in me popping out maybe its the aromantic in me popping out WHO KNOWS all i know is that. resident evil makes me very upset sometimes dflkgnjg i love the games i love the characters (esp the girls big surprise i know) but jesus christ. somethings i just can't ignore. and this is cerrtainly one of them. a girl just can't exist out of a guy according to capcom. and that sort of idea is suuuper evident in how they portray and include their women. you could have a girl protag (re3, recv etc) but theres always a 99% chance theres gonna be a man tagging along + continually saving their asses and theres almost alwaysa an even HIGHER chance that theyre meant to be seen as a romantic interest! and its exhausting@!!!!!

long story short . i get im not resident evil's target audience . but im still gonna be pissed and annoyed . the girls deserve better .

im def gonna have to go more in depth abt resident evil and their writing of relationships (or lack thereof) some other time but just for now. the best written ones are claire + sherry and mia + ethan goodbye

[thatdeadaquarius]

I found one of your sagau posts about language and got me thinking xD

Reader who knows a lot of languages which gets people confused. Are they speaking in their godly language? Are they really that mad that they switched to another language? Why are they smirking like that--- (Aether/Lumine who understood everything trying so hard not to laugh at people's reactions)

Why did I imagine that after a flowery speech Reader delivers a response so blunt the vine boom sfx can be heard---

Reader trying out flowery speech and failing, while the rest of the people in the background are either A.) Trying to convince you that its alright to talk simply (oh now you turn the tables--) or B.) Some of them fainting in devotion/cuteness because their god looks at them so eagerly for feedback

I heard somewhere that Mondstadt is based on Germany and another post about Snezhnaya (bruh whats the spelling 🤣💀) based on Russia, so I thought that while they speak english they also throw in a couple words of their respective language (or in some drunk cases, full out native language). Cue reader just.... 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

Bilingual reader who uses full advantage of their knowledge into making puns and jokes to Cyno----

WE CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE BOYS

YES YES THE PSPSPSPSS NEVER FAILSSS🛐🛐🛐

(subliminalmessagingpspspspsscometomeaskscomepspspspspssubliminalmessaging)

___________

DUDE ive thought abt just making it where Aether/Lumine are the only ones who understand English/ur language and like, while u can (or maybe cant for shenanigans) speak Teyvatian (ew theres gotta be a better word for that?) Theres NOTHING as amazing as the bilingual experience of pranking bitches

Eula gives like a whole poetry book of a speech to you guys to be more responsible abt gliding in the city (its cute <3 shes actually very concerned bc you know you would do sm that would worry her, i mean i know im just flinging myself off of every surface all the time, esp in Mondstadt im not using no stairs💀)

And you just... turn to Aether/Lumine and say smth in English and they bust out laughing

(Or worse, u two are giggling like little shits✨️)

Dont feel too bad Eula, they do this to everyone

(Paimon's constantly on ya'lls case abt it)

Like u didnt even say anything rude (probably), as u explained to Eula, but its like this all the time, sm ppl even find themsleves jealous of this bond you two have got, tho whether they are jealous of Aether/Lumine or you is still still hard to tell,,)

♧

IM SO GLAD ONE PERSON OUT THERE GOT THE FLOWERY SPEECH -> YOU REPLY -> VINE BOOM 🤝🤝🤝 THING I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY

Thats deadass like how i imagine half the time it would be like talking to ppl, esp if ur critizing smth that person was doing lmao (like roasting them)

Its even funnier if like, u didnt hear the vine boom so to speak, like u got ur back to the rest of the characters/npcs while ur talking to this one person and u dont even know u just said smth that's got like one person crying laughing

(KAEYA, aether/lumine, hu tao, KAVEH, Venti, childe, Yae Miko, SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER, beidou, off the top of my head)

♡

Another one is just standing there in shock, when will they unfreeze? Only time can tell

(Zhongli, jean, eula, keqing, ayaka, ganyu, kuki shinobu, once again off the top of my head theres so many characters at this point in genshin help)

♡

They're just like,, processing still, theyre probably overthinking everything u say bc to them you give so little information 💀 i can see the like transparent images of their thinking faces floating around them now LMAO

(Alhaitham, zhongli again rip, DILUC, kaeya's also laughing at him not just you his stomach hurts help him, Ei, XIAO, ALBEDO, Ayato but he'd also be muffling a laugh, Kazuha maybe i can also see him just giggling n shit, Kokomi, CYNO, Tighnari but also he'll react like its the funniest joke ever while he's trying to actually think abt it, so he just ends up standing there, thinking outloud, then cracking up over and over again lol)

♤

Oh Cyno u sweet summer child, as soon as u started making puns it was over for him, no one can stop you, even if Tighnari can't understand ur language rn he can definitely just sense there's bad jokes being made, esp if Cyno gets it and his lip like, twitches upward or even worse, he chuckles.

(Tighnari's totally getting onto him for corrupting you)

☆

pLEASE US ACTUALLY TRYING TO SPEAK LIKE THEM 😭😭😭

What a cute image, just some of them reassuring us and some of them thinking its cute for trying, and we look around the room when we try for feedback i know i would 😭😭

If i actually got close tho they better give me a headpat or smth

___________

Anyway THANK YOU for the ask!! (subliminalmessingpspspspspscometomeaskscomepspsps)

That was a BEAUTIFUL✨️ thing to read, got my heart doin backflips and shit 😳😊🥰

God this is so long im so sorry everyone

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘