#makes her go. wow. what a spectrum

[peachyvillian]

thoughts on transfem francis ? she is literally so near and dear to my heart

so true!!!

i love transfem francis so much and is actually one of my fav hcs too like UGH. i just find it so silly that francis’s first thought when going into kelsey’s house is “mm….. They wont know its me if i dress like a GIRL!!! 😛” LIKE YES. I UNDERSTAND .

i also really like the idea of aside from francis seeing carly as a crush there’s also this partial part of her that really just admires carly’s femininity and the way she expresses it?? i feel like francis wouldn’t see it that way at first either (just as she was totally normal about frankenstein and reading it with his teacher) and just assume its average crush things!! like wow her hair is so pretty and how long her eyelashes are and oh man that dress seems so nice …. i Wonder how itd look on me

and like i feel it might make her really just. confused?? because she wants to see herself as this strong ‘man’ who can defeat shane and make ladies swoon, but also theres this calling to the little things like a nice red lipstick, or her hair growing a little bit longer than she usually lets it, or the slight envy when she sees a pretty girl. and it really makes her nervous. like she has to choose and it might take a while for her to realize she doesn’t really. have to do that!

because she tags along with kelsey and trudy during when they were a trio and there are these moments that shine a light on so many different parts of these women that she looks up to! like trudy trying to find her standing in a home so harshly dominated by tucker (FUCK HIM) and kelsey’s strength especially when she’d been boxing. and it sort of clicks something in her brain. because she also doesn’t have to be boxed in this category just as every other woman ever doesn’t have to stay in a box society has created for her.

bc like part of her didn’t want another thing someone would actively bully her for or tease her about and so there were justifications and denial of a lot of what she was feeling and especially with just. the rigid views of gender and homosexuality back then, it really rubbed off on her. but sort of seeing and admiring the different ways that kelsey and trudy express themselves and not having to just be how people want to view them really just strikes a chord with her bc she can be strong (and shoot shane in the leg) and also enjoy wearing heels! thats fine!

MAYBE THAT DIDNT MAKE SENSE BUT LIKE. i dont know i think that francis’s slow understanding on her identity would really fix me. i think if will campos let anthony burch put francis in one of kelsey’s dresses it would fix around 50% of her problems maybe. idk i think francis has a very complicated relationship with her identity esp in that era but hey. she has a robot mother and a eldritch possessed schoolmarm. and bb too i guess/t i think she’ll have their support

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[joeshiestyslover]

fuck it i love you- c. sturniolo

pairing: fratboy!chris sturniolo x academicweapon!reader

summary: you and chris were on two completely opposite sides of the college spectrum. chris loves to party and hook up, and you love to stay in and do your homework. chris would never notice someone like you…right?

warnings: language, mentions of sex, angst, fluff, chris is lowkey an asshole at first but he gets better, reader is good at poker, some typos

word count: 4.4k

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happy reading!

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ophelia ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

you were never one for parties or large social gatherings in general. you are an introvert and very much a homebody, spending most of your time doing schoolwork or just lying in bed. because of this, you never made many friends as a child, and you especially never had a boyfriend.

chris was the complete opposite. chris loves parties and being around people. he can’t stand being in his house and doing nothing. since chris got to college, he spent most of his time at frat parties or hooking up with random girls. another thing about chris is that he’s never been the relationship type of guy. there was always an insane amount of girls that wanted him, but he never gave in, opting for random hookups.

you’re a sophomore in college and the only actual friend you’ve managed to make is your roommate, jasmine. she understood your introverted tendencies and respected them, but she was never afraid to urge you to get out of your comfort zone once in a while. right now, she’s trying to get you to attend a party that one of the school’s fraternities is throwing.

“come on y/n! it’ll be so fun!” jasmine begs. “i don’t like parties. i’d rather stay here and watch bridgerton.” you retort. “you’re always home and it worries me. you need actual human interaction. come on, please! i promise i won’t ask you to do anything like this again if you don’t have fun.” “i don’t know, jas.” you say skeptically. she gives you a look and you know she won’t give up until you go, so you give in. “fine.” you tell her with a roll of your eyes. she smiles and clasps her hands together. “yay! now let’s find you something to wear. i doubt you have anything, so you can borrow something of mine.” jasmine heads towards her closet and digs through until she pulls out a skintight light pink minidress. your jaw drops. “absolutely not.” “you’re wearing this y/n. it’s gonna look so good on you.” she walks over to you and throws it on your bed.

you pick it up and hold it against your body. “oh my god jas. my ass is gonna be on display!” you tell her. “don’t worry girl you have a great ass and you should show it off.” she winks. “okay the party starts in twenty minutes and we still have to get ready so come on.” jasmine leads you into the bathroom and does your hair and makeup first. she spends about half an hour on it before she finishes. you look at yourself in the mirror and gasp. “wow i look so good.” you smile at your reflection. “you’re welcome. now go get dressed.” you walk over to your bed where the dress lays and you quickly undress and throw it on, along with some clear wedges you had stuffed in the back of your closet.

jasmine finishes getting ready and she walks out of the bathroom. you both compliment each other’s looks before grabbing your purses and walking out of your dorm and towards jasmine’s car. you both get in and jasmine puts the car into drive, making her way towards the frat house.

once you both get to the party and you can hear the music thumping from outside the house. you can feel your palms begin to become sweaty and your heartbeat quicken. “jas i don’t know about this. what if something bad happens?” you ask nervously. “everything’s gonna be fine. i promise i’ll stick with you as long as you want me to, okay?” she reassures you. you slowly nod you head. you both then get out of the car and walk into the frat house. the moment you walk in, you can smell the strong scent of weed, alcohol, and sweat.

you look around and notice some people you know from your classes, all of them stoned, drunk, or both. your eyes continue to wander until you lock eyes with him. chris sturniolo. he’s easily the biggest asshole you’ve ever met. he was in your english lit class last semester and the only thing he did was show up late and extremely hungover. you can see his eyes trail down to your body and back up to your face. you roll your eyes and turn to jasmine. “we should get drinks.” you yell over the music. she nods and you both walk into the kitchen, where a vast array of drinks sit on the counter. you grab a beer out of the ice filled bucket where they sit, twist the cap off and take a drink. you look to your left and see jasmine flirting with some guy you’ve never seen before. after a few seconds, she turns to you and asks: “do you think it would be okay if i went with him? it’s totally okay if you’re not comfortable being by yourself. i’ll let him down and stay with you if you want.” you can’t help but smile at her. “it’s okay jas, i’ll be fine. i think i saw some guys playing poker and you know how much i love texas hold ‘em.” she grins and turns back to the guy and he leads her away.

you walk out of the kitchen and walk over to the table where a bunch of guys are sitting, dealing out cards. “y’all got room for one more?” you ask them. “you play?” one of the guys retorts. you nod. “yep. been playing since middle school.” “i guess we could deal you in.” he motions to one of the empty chairs. you sit as the dealer hand you the cards. you take a peek at the cards and see pocket aces. your face remains stoic as you look around at all the guys, trying to read their faces. everyone around the table checks, and so do you. the dealer puts down one card. about half of the guys fold, and a few of them raise, and of course, you match their bets. once again, everyone checks, and the dealer puts down the rest of the cards. you all then turn over all your cards, with you obviously winning. you smirk and gather all the chips to your side of the table.

before you can start the next round, chris walks over to the table. he claps one of the guys on the shoulders before his eyes find yours. he then walks up to you and you once again roll your eyes at him. “hey, what’s your name?” you ignore him and deal out the cards since it’s your turn. “c’mon don’t be like that.” he presses as he sits down next to you. you sigh and turn to him. “if i were you, i wouldn’t even bother learning my name, especially if you didn’t care to learn it last semester.” chris looks confused. “do i know you from somewhere?” you shrug. “wait,” he begins. “you’re that girl from english. the one that always asked a bunch of questions.” “guess so. do you mind? i’m in the middle of something.” you flip over the cards in front of you. “damn okay i see how it is. i’ll catch you later though.” he stands up out of the seat and you flash him a fake smile. “i hope not.” you mutter before he walks away.

you continue to play for a little while longer, surprisingly having fun. you had to admit, tonight is going a lot better than you thought it would. after winning most of the hands, you decide it’s time to head out, so you get up and say bye to the guys you were playing with. you wander through the crowd, trying to find jasmine, but she’s nowhere to be found. she must have gone home with the guy she left with earlier, so you pull out your phone and order an uber. your feet begin to ache and you spot an empty seat on a sofa, so you take a seat. you scroll on your phone for a bit before feeling the couch dip next to you. you look up and see chris sitting directly to your right. you immediately look back down at your phone, desperately wanting to avoid another conversation with him.

“you know it’s dangerous for a pretty girl like yourself to be alone at a party like this. you never know what kinda creep will try and take advantage of you.” he smirks. “i think i can handle myself, thanks.” you say back, avoiding eye contact. “hey, i’m just looking out for you, ma.” you finally turn to look at him. “don’t call me that.” “well, you never gave me your name, so…” he trails off. “you don’t need to know my name.” you say coldly. “why not?” chris tilts his head. “i don’t know what you think you’re doing, but i’m not gonna sleep with you so find another girl to bother.” you snap. before he can respond, your phone goes off, signaling that your uber arrived at the house. without a word, you stand up from the couch and walk towards the front door, leaving behind a very shocked chris.

once you got back to your dorm, you took off your makeup and changed into comfy clothes. the moment you lied down, you fell asleep, but couldn’t help but think about the brunette boy that managed to get under your skin so much.

a week later, you’re at the campus coffee shop, where you work. today isn’t a very busy day, just a few tired college kids in desperate need of coffee. you’re cleaning the tables near the back when you hear the bell ring, signifying that someone had walked into the shop. “welcome in.” you say out of habit. when you look up, your eyes meet chris’ blue ones. you walk behind the counter and plaster on the fakest smile you could muster. “what can i get you?” you ask, trying to get him out as fast as possible. “hey it’s you.” he smirks. “yes it’s me.” you roll your eyes. “what do you want?” “well, y/n,” he reads your name tag, “i would like a cappuccino and your number.” you scoff at his request. “absolutely not. i made it very clear at the party that i’m not interested in being one of your casual hookups.” “i promise i’d make it worth your while.” chris leans in closer to you. “okay buddy.” you say, unconvinced. “come on, y/n-” “not interested chris, either pay for your coffee or get out.” you tell him sternly. now, he rolls his eyes at you. “fine how much?” he pulls out his wallet. “$4.25.” he hands you a $5 and says: “keep the change.” you nod and begin making his drink.

once you finish making the cappuccino, you put the lid on it and hand it to him. “i’ll pull you one day, you know.” he smirks as he takes his drink. “in your dreams.” you retort. “i’ll see you around, ma.” chris yells as he walks out of the coffee shop. you continue the rest of your shift, still not being able to believe the audacity that boy has.

over the next few weeks, chris has been coming to your work, trying to get you to give him your number, and you shut him down every time. “come on, ma, i’m begging you, just one chance, please.” he all but begs you. “no chris, now go away i have customers to deal with.” you walk toward the register, taking a customer’s order. “what do you have to lose?” he questions. “my sanity.” you say putting in the person’s order. “what time do you get off?” “5:30. why?” you raise an eyebrow at his question. “i’ll pick you up and take you to dinner.” you laugh a little, “sure you will.” chris doesn’t say anything and walks out of the store.

sure enough, 5:30 rolls around and as you’re packing up your things in the back, you hear the bell ring. you walk out to the front and see chris at the door. you freeze. you really didn’t think chris would actually show up. “what the hell are you doing here?” you ask. “well, you get off at 5:30 right? i told you i’d pick you up.” he smiles, but it’s not a cocky smile or smirk, it’s a genuine smile. you let out a breath, knowing you can’t get out of it now. “one date. that’s it. you fuck up, you don’t get another chance.” you tell him sternly. he raises his hands in surrender. “i can be nice when i want, you know.” “uh huh, i’m sure. where are we going?” you both begin to walk out the door and chris holds it open, you mutter a small “thank you.” “where do you wanna go?” “ummm” you think, “how about mcdonald’s or something lowkey?” you suggest. “sounds perfect.” he replies, leading you to his car and opening the passenger door for you.

the car ride is relatively quiet, a few comments being made here and there, but it was mostly silent. however, it wasn’t an awkward silence, it was actually quite comfortable. you both get to the nearest mcdonald’s and order your food. it comes time to pay and you begin to pull out your card. “don’t you even dare, y/n.” chris says before you can even get your wallet out of your bag. “chris it’s really not that big of a deal.” you try to reason with him. “no y/n. i’m paying. a gentleman doesn’t make the girl pay, especially not on the first date.” he explains. “okay fine.” you relent.

the rest of the night went much smoother than you thought it would have. chris was a total gentleman and you genuinely had fun with him. at the end of the night, he drove you back to your dorm, but before you left, he asked you out on another date and you immediately said yes.

of course, you still have your reserves because of chris’ reputation around campus, but you wanted to give him a chance. you walk into your room, and see jasmine sitting on her bed. “and where have you been?” she asks. “i was out… on a date.” you say sheepishly. “a date?! with who?!” she becomes interested. “ummm i was with chris actually.” you look down at your shoes. “chris sturniolo? don’t you hate him?” she tilts her head in a confused manner. “i did, but he surprisingly isn’t that bad.” i smile at her slightly. “okay girl just be careful with him. make sure his intentions with you are good before you get too attached.” jasmine warns and you nod at her words. “of course, jas.” you walk over to your bathroom to take off your makeup and get ready for bed.

over the next couple of weeks, you and chris have been hanging out constantly. you actually enjoy his company, and he enjoys yours. you’ve managed to learn more and more about each other. you now know that chris loves hockey, he’s a triplet with his two brothers matt and nick, and he has a dog back home named trevor. all of this new information made him seem like more of an actual person to you and not some asshole you shared one class with for a single semester.

you’re currently getting ready for a party that chris had invited you to. this was the first time you would show up to a gathering like this as a ‘couple’, and you’re a little nervous. you don’t know how people would react because you being with chris is probably the most unexpected thing to happen on campus.

just as you’re putting on your shoes, chris texts you that he’s outside. you say goodbye to jas, and as you’re walking out the door you hear her yell: “be safe! text me if you need me!” you walk over to chris’ car and see him in the driver’s seat. once you open the door, he looks over at you and his jaw drops a little. “whoa. you look amazing, y/n.” you blush a little. “thanks chris.” he smiles at you and begins to drive towards the party.

you get there and can already see drunk students stumbling out the front door, something leaning over to throw up in the bushes. chris puts the car in park and unbuckles his seatbelt. he then gets out and walks over to your side of the car, opening the door for you. he holds his hand out, and you take it. you stand up and before chris releases your hand, he leans down presses a light kiss to your knuckles. you giggle and begin to walk inside the party.

chris puts his hand on your waist and leads you over to the couch in the middle of the room. “i’m gonna grab us some drinks?” he yells over the music. “okay! i’ll be here!” you yell back, hoping he hears you. chris nods and turns to walk towards where you assume is the kitchen.

you wait for a few minutes, think it just takes a while to actually get to the drinks because of the large crowd of people in the house. you wait a little longer before deciding to go and find chris. you walk through the house and you can hear a group of male voices.

you turn the corner and see chris talking with his frat brothers, and you can’t help but listen in. “so how’s it going with that one girl you’re seeing, the smart one?” one of them asks. “her? there’s nothing going on with her. she’s just a hookup, nothing more. she means nothing to me.” he and his friends all laugh. you immediately lose your breath. you were so stupid to believe you actually meant something to chris. you should have listened to your gut, he’s just like all the rest.

you turn on your heels and walk out of the house, needing fresh air. the moment you walk outside, you break down, tears rolling down your cheeks one after another. you pull out your phone and call jasmine, knowing she’d come pick you up. the phone rings a few times before she answers, “hello?” “jas.” you say through your tears. “y/n? what’s wrong? what happened?” she immediately becomes worried. “can you come get me? i’ll explain everything to you later i just can’t be here any longer.” “of course. stay where you are, i’ll be there in a few.” you hang up the phone and look into the distance.

you then hear your name being called. you turn your head and see chris walking towards you. you look away, knowing that if you looked at him, you’d absolutely lose it. “y/n? are you okay? why’d you come out here?” he asks, completely unaware that you overheard his cruel words. “how could you chris?” he becomes confused now. “how could i what?” “do i really mean nothing to you? is getting into my pants the only thing you want from me?” you’re fighting the urge to sob. “of course not baby. who’s telling you that?” he steps closer to you and you step back, finally meeting his eyes. “you did! i heard you talking to your friends! about how i’m nothing but a hookup!” chris’ face drops. “baby no you got it all wrong. i didn’t mean any of those things i said.” “then why would you say it?! i can’t believe i trusted you! i really thought you were different, but you’re not! you’re just like all the other douchebags on this fucking campus!” you yell in his face. “y/n please i-” “save it.” you cut him off. you see jasmine’s car pull in out of the corner of your eye. “i never wanna see you again.” you tell him before walking to jasmine’s car and getting into the passenger’s seat. she swiftly pulls out and heads towards your dorm.

“what happened y/n? what’d he do to you?” she asks, worriedly. “i overheard him talking shit about me to his friends, about how i mean nothing to him.” you sniffle. “oh babe i’m so sorry. he’s such an asshole.” she reaches her right hand over to rub your back. “i should have known. i’m so fucking stupid.” you lean forwards and put your head in your hands. “no he’s stupid for not realizing what he had.” she reassures you. “i just wanna go home and go to bed.” you say. “of course, we’re almost there.” jasmine says as she continues driving.

once you get back home, you flop onto your bed, not bothering to take your makeup or clothes off. you just lie there and stare at the ceiling, thinking about chris. you thought about how sweet he could be, but it was all just a lie to get you into his bed. it’s bittersweet. you felt so humiliated, but you were glad you found out his true intentions before it was too late. you turn over and look at your phone. there are ten missed calls and about fifty text messages from chris. you shut your phone off, not wanting to deal with him right now.

the next few days, the world seems grey. you have almost no motivation to get out of bed. after a day or so, chris stopped texting you and calling you. you assumed he had given up, until he walked into your work holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a small teddy bear. you looked at him with sadness in your eyes, while chris’ eyes are filled with guilt and regret. “y/n,” he begins. “i’m so sorry for what i said. it was wrong and i promise i didn’t mean it. i just didn’t want them to shit on you for dating me. it’s okay if you don’t forgive me, but i just want you to know that i truly am sorry.” he hands you the flowers and bear. you take them hesitantly and say nothing. you nod and walk away, leaving chris behind looking broken.

chris fell in love with you the moment he laid eyes on you. not at the party, but the first day he walked into his english lit class. he quickly thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. he wanted to go up to you so bad, but based on the dirty glares you would shoot his way every time he walked into class late, he thought you wouldn’t be interested. when he saw you at the party, however, he couldn’t resist, he had to talk to you. he definitely expected you to turn him down, but he vowed that he wouldn’t give up until you agreed to go on at least one date with him. when you finally did, chris knew he was a goner. you were pretty, smart, and funny. you were perfect. the feelings that chris had for you scared him because he had never felt this way before. he didn’t know what to do. when his friends asked how you two were doing, he panicked. he knew you would get shit for dating him because you two are so different, so he told them you meant nothing, which was the furthest thing from the truth. however, he didn’t consider how those harsh words would affect you. the moment he walked outside and saw you crying, his heart broke. chris fucked up. badly. and he won’t stop until you know that he truly is sorry.

after your shift you go back to your dorm and set the teddy bear on your bed and put the flowers in a vase with water. suddenly, your phone dings, and it’s a text from chris: please let me explain what happened. i promise i’ll tell you everything. you stood there and thought about it before replying: meet me in front of the coffee shop in an hour. you shut your phone off and sit on your bed. you hold your head in your hands before you stand up to change into one of chris’ hoodies that you took and some sweats.

about 45 minutes go by before you’re grabbing your phone and keys and walking out of your dorm and towards the coffee shop. once you get there, you see chris standing outside. once he hears your footsteps, chris turns his head and watches you walk up to him. he smiles a bit seeing you in his hoodie, and his hopes raise just a little.

“y/n. hi.” he says nervously. you just nod at him, not knowing what to say. “look y/n, i know i fucked up. what i said was horrible and i can’t excuse that i just… you scare me.” your eyebrow raises “i scare you? why?” you question him, confused. “because you’re so perfect. you have your life together, you know what you want, and i’m just me.” he says desperately.” you’re still confused. “but that doesn’t make any sense.��� chris sighs. “fuck it. y/n i’ve been in love with you for a long time, and i know i’ve never said that and maybe now isn’t the best time to tell you that, but it’s how i feel. i swear if you give me one more chance, i’ll do better. i’ll be better. just please let me prove it to you.” chris begs. you stand there, shifting your feet. you bite the inside of your cheek as you process what he just told you. “you love me? you aren’t just saying that?” you ask. chris steps towards you and cups your cheeks with his hands. “i love you, y/n. i love you so much it’s honestly terrifying, but all i want is to be with you.” he looks into your eyes and you know he’s being honest. “chris.” you begin. “yes?” he asks, hopefully. “kiss me.” chris grins and leans down to capture your lips with his, smiling into the kiss. you break away after a few seconds. “but if you ever pull some shit like this again, i’ll cut your dick off christopher.” he laughs out loud. “i wouldn’t expect anything less, ma.” he says before he leans down to kiss you once again.

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

Thinking about Bodyguard!Miguel O’Hara who, when he took you to the studio lot for costumes a few weeks later, finally took up your offer to buy him a coffee. Black with two sugars. To say you had to keep your eyes from popping out of your sockets would be an understatement.

Bodyguard!Miguel who had to wait in the hallway as the head costumer took you into her office to take your measurements and show you some of her inspiration for the dresses she wanted to make for you. Wanting your opinions and input since you're the one that will be in the dresses and outfits.

Bodyguard!Miguel who boarded first class with you when you had to depart to the country to the main filming location, Italy, the week before filming started. Making sure to keep paparazzi at bay when you were leaving and arriving, keeping your face hidden from cameras.

Bodyguard!Miguel who finally got to see you in one of your costumes on the first day of filming, you had pictures of you in some of the outfits, but they were half finished and not exactly flattering footage. The director had also requested that all of your outfits for the film be a secret to the rest on set, wanting to add to that wow factor.

Bodyguard!Miguel that also felt his breath get caught in his throat when he finally got to see you come out in your first dress, a beautiful lilac silk dress. Pupils dilated behind sunglasses as he watched as you spin and giggle about with some of the actors in the dress. Your matching fan providing you some relief from the Italian hot sun while you wait for the filming crew to finish setting up for the first shots.

—

The director knew what he was doing when he casted you as the main character, you truly looked like a princess.

Miguel had been thankful he had his sunglasses on, both due to the harsh sun beating down on his sensitive eyes, and to the fact he can gawk at you shamelessly.

He always watched you when you weren’t in a ten foot radius, but this time was…different. The usual protectiveness and possessiveness was still there of course, but now there was something else mixed in. Admiration? Affection? Adoration ? He didn’t know.

What he did know was you looked nothing less than breathtaking. Graceful steps despite the valley ground still dewy from the morning, the way you recite the lines like they were your own words. The way you hid your face with the fan when Peter as his character spoke with you. If Miguel didn’t know any better, we would have thought you were really flustered over his words.

Despite it all only being an act, the scene made him feel queasy. Not that he’d ever admit.

He let out the quietest of sighs as he watched you both go to restart the scene. He had one job to do. That was to protect you, not fall for you.

He was fucked.

—

Part 3<

Part 5<

Not proofread.

Word count: 500

Taglist: @famouscattale @strawberryjuice9 @loser-alert @maomaimao @franceseca-the-1st @mcmiracles @mangoslushcrush @queerponcho @yournextbimbogf @tinybirdhideout @reader-1290 @laysmt @migueloharasoulmate @fruityfucker @pigeonmama @scaryplanetdestroyer @migueloharastruelove @krentkova19 @genny1019 @maiyart @stressed-cherry @miguelzslvtz @scaleniusrm @xerorizz @enananawoah @messicampeon @anastasia1972 @lauraolar14 @huniedeux @bluesidez @nommingonfood @chrishy973 @m4dyy @night-spectrum @electricgg (to be added click here)

[oh-no-its-bird]

Someone ( @ohai-there ) asked me if I had any thoughts ab mdtb weeks "cultural differences" prompt, so, like, take just the copy pasted reply I gave them (+ some extra) :

I was up all night drawing birthday art and am this 👌 close to blacking out for x amount of hours so this risks being nonsensical fair warning

Uhhh culture shock my beloved, let's seee

Easy answer is the senju are very touchy feely, easily and willingly sleeps around (they face a lot less risk of bloodline theft due to rarity of the mokuton so there isn't as much ingrained cultural fear of being assulted/facing the baby shaped consequences of sleeping around willy nilly)

They can take multiple spouses and it's actually rare for the head of house to have only one wife (Hashirama is an exception bc Mito is a Princess(tm) and so to take another wife would risk offending her own clan culture, he is fine with this and they possibly often take others to bed with them just for funzies (potential hashimitoizu noises(?)))

Uhh anyways so that, they're super liberal with touch, etc. Etc.

Also they don't really do crazy deep romance and are super used to casual no strings attached flings, you have to make yourself VERY clear in what you're doing if you want to actually start a fr relationship bc otherwise many "courtship" behaviors are just like. Casual, culturally acceptable flirting and invitations to bang (the senju have a 101 different ways to proposition eachother in flower language alone.)

Meanwhile the Uchiha are on the total opposite side of the spectrum— they're like super conservative (In contrast to the Senju not having an ingrained fear of bloodline hunters, their very valuable and very vulnerable kekkei genkkei makes them prime victims, which has lead them having generations of trauma fueled insane abstinence lessons)

+ They're a noble clan and regularly interact with the Daimyo's court, so there's even more etiquette culture ingrained into them so they can send anyone into court if needed (While the Senju, who are NOT a noble clan, only ever send their main house, and so only they have to even worry about court etiquette)

They do not believe in divorce, they do not believe in political marriages (tho they do happen very very rarely, it's seen as very sad and tragic when it does) they... sometimes believe in multiple spouses, in specific situations (they can't regularly interact w the daimyo's court and not have to face it as a concept, after all)

So like. Super up tight, hella rules about how to show affection and proper ways to conduct yourselves, months long courting rituals before u even get to kissing, to sleep together before marriage is SINFUL

But they're ALSO super fucking romantic and absolutely insane about having soulmates and one true loves and are just super intense ab all that romance stuff where the senju are super relaxed in it

I think u see where this is going

Anyways uhhh

They make a village and there's tons of culture shock

Then Tobirama, being Tobirama (standoffish and cold, not especially interested in the usual wild Senju sex parties or whatever tf kind of events they're hosting in the gardens) is like, among the most "normal" to the Uchiha (from a cultural standpoint)

And bc of that, Madara maybe interacts w him more like "well he's kind of awful but at least he's not a sex FREAK like the rest of these Senju WHORES"

Umm Madara tries to court Tobirama but Tobirama sees it as him only trying to bang (?)

Which he possibly doesn't even want to do

Tobirama is like "Ah man, if only he were interested in actual courtship, but he has only given me the Senju flowers of "I wish to ravish you in the fields" and not the senju flowers of "I am potentially interest in maybe going on a date" (a proposition that a)he received not too infrequently, and so was not odd, and b) he politely rejected by accepting the flowers then showing Madara that he had planted it in red soil)

Meanwhile, Madara is like. "Wow this courtship is going so great he's accepting all my Uchiha flowers of pure devotion and innocent love in bloom"

Just in general, their clans having different flower meanings could be funny actually. The Uchiha regularly interact with court so I think they'd have to have, like, "normal" flower meanings (or else theres be some implications there of how theye gotten so far while using incorrect flower meanings in genuinely important events) so that means its the Senju who have odd meanings for flowers-- which also works, bc, like, mokuton

however many years ago, a previous descendant with mokuton told his clansmen the ""real"" meaning of these flowers,,, u wouldnt get it,,,

Another fun route could be, like, the Uchiha method of declaring ones intentions to court someone also happens to be the Senju's method of declaring a feud.

Madara tries to flirt with Tobirama only for Tobirama to understand this as Madara telling him to his face that the peace may be ongoing but he'll always hate his bitch ass !!!

[ecargmura]

Dandadan Episode 7 Review - A Mother's Love

If Episode 4 hasn’t put Science Saru on the map for high quality animation, then this episode surely did. I haven’t read the source material, but even as an anime-only watcher, I can definitely see the love and passion the studio puts into this. It’s crazy how a Japanese anime studio owned by a Korean person can make such invigorating quality.

The rest of the fight with Acrobatic Silky was animated well. I love how the kids outwitted her by running away just so her hair gets caught in the nook and cranny of the warehouse. Okarun manages to defeat her by going full throttle. However, their victory isn’t a happy one as devouring Aira caused her to die. Turbo Granny explained that since she’s an ordinary person, being devoured by a spirit would easily kill someone. I sort of like that detail, honestly. There’s no anime logic about how she could survive this. She’s dead and that is what the rest of the episode is about. 

What I also like is that seeing her dead easily causes Momo and Okarun to start doing what they can like telling Turbo Granny to call the ambulance and for Momo to resuscitate her using her psychic hands. Though, it does feel odd that a group of teenagers know how to resuscitate someone so skillfully, even if it’s an attempt. They’re both not doctors and are on the opposite spectrum of them. The only way she can be saved is having Acrobatic Silky connect her aura to Aira’s like connecting two cords together.

That’s where the highlight of the episode comes in the form of Silky’s tragic backstory. Man, it broke my heart seeing Silky’s life before her unfortunate end. She was a single mother working as a prostitute alongside several jobs in order to provide for her and her beloved daughter who was her entire world and her purpose for living. Her daughter was sweet in that she was essentially her light in her life. She worked hard in order to buy the red dress that eventually becomes what she wears as a ghost and she was also teaching her daughter ballet. The tragedy comes from debt collectors or mobsters coming in to assault her and then they later took her daughter away, which is severely tragic because the sequences of her life before the tragedy shows that her daughter just celebrated her fifth birthday. If the mobsters are related to trafficking, this means that her daughter’s fate became that of a trafficked child and that’s horrendous in itself. Also, props to Hina Kino for voicing the daughter. She's excellent at creating a child-like voice, especially with how she wailed.

Silky’s dance sequence before meeting her end was seriously beautiful, yet so tragic. The scenery with the starry night was gorgeous but Silky starts dancing. Ballet is an elegant, graceful and poised style of dancing and that’s how she decided to meet her end. The way it was animated was so gorgeous. Also, if you noticed, Silky’s dancing was used in the full music video of Dandadan’s opening song.

There are some people out there wondering if Silky’s daughter is Aira. She’s not. When Silky became a ghost, she could only stand listlessly until little Aira came and mistook her for her recently deceased mother. Realizing that she had a daughter, Silky latched onto Aira and decided to protect her until it became obsessive and psychotic. 

This sequence also showcases why Aira behaved the way she did earlier. She’s a narcissist primarily because of what her father had said about her needing to become stronger in order to let her mother be proud of her once she sees her again. That was why she developed a high self-confidence in order to one day show her late mother. She may have been insufferable before but the memories have completely humbled her. The way she hugged Silky just so she could have solace and not be forgotten in death was such a powerful scene. This shows that underneath her pompous attitude, Aira had a kind heart. My opinion of her instantly changed after this. Wow. I legit shed some tears.

I wonder if Dandadan’s story is just encountering a ghost or an alien and learning of their stories or what not. There doesn’t seem to be an overall grand scheme of things. I like that honestly. It’s just a story about kids encountering the supernatural and learning a lot of life lessons amidst the craziness. Please correct me if I’m wrong. Anyways, what are your thoughts about this episode?

[physalian]

Yet another 5 Character Types The World Needs More Of

Continuing on the list of “tropes the world needs more of”

1. The optimist in denial

This is a character who probably didn’t have the best life growing up, so determined to look on the bright side to escape their objectively crap situation that they’re in denial, not just being annoyingly optimistic. They’re frustrating cases to all the people who care about them because they won’t admit anything is wrong, holding onto a life or reality that doesn’t exist, or perhaps never did, as it’s all they have left.

Example: Todoroki Fuyumi

2. The “peaceful” pacifist

As opposed to harmless, the distinction is important. Demons run when a good man goes to war. This is a character who took themselves off the game board because they know they’d win in a landslide. This is a warrior who left the battlefield because they are the weapon of mass destruction. This is also the character who is determined to be good, even if it gets them killed. I don’t care if there’s already plenty of them, this is good shit and I want more.

Example: Too many and yet not enough

3. The likable autistic

Neurodivergence in media is often the butt of the joke. You like these characters in spite of their “quirks” or you find them incredibly annoying because their “quirks” are their entire personality. Usual representations are arrogant and anti-social narcissists who lack compassion. Shockingly, autism is a spectrum, and a very far cry from sociopathy. No one trait should define an entire character, and that includes neurodivergence.

Nothing specific to do this time, more what not to do. Make them people first, yeah? A person with autism. Not autistic person. There’s a difference.

Example: Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)

4. Husbands who love their wives

Wow this feels like a low bar. These men who adore their wives, who wouldn’t dare think the phrase “ball and chain”. If he likes his wife, he’s probably a good man altogether. I feel like media is stepping away from the misogynistic kinds of protagonists (assuming their wives weren’t fridged) but I’m talking men who are their wives fiercest defender (socially) and biggest cheerleader.

Example: Gomez Adams, Maes Hughes

5. Unmanicured Female Heroes and Love Interests

Slapping barbie dolls who look gorgeous and can do no wrong aren’t anyone’s favorite character. Let her hair be a little frizzy, let her not wear makeup, give her jeans and a t-shirt and flat. Let her be a little lazy and self-indulgent. A little cluttered and messy without joking about how she’s “letting herself go”.

Let her have some biases, some arbitrary hills to die on. Not every female character but usually characters like this are the jealous villains or the girl who gets dumped for someone prettier.

Example: Toph Beifong, Princess Fiona

—

Oh look I wrote some of these in ENNS haha what a coincidence

Check it out if you'd like~

[ladykailitha]

Sun-kissed and Moon-glow

My fics have been fighting me this last week, so have some softness I've been thinking about the last couple of days. This came from that post that has been going around about x overhearing y say good things about them.

*

Eddie didn't mean to eavesdrop, his interview finished before Steve finished his. Eddie loved his model boyfriend. He was gorgeous and looked amazing on his own or on Eddie's arm.

He moved to sneak up on Steve to hug him from behind, but he stopped when he realized his interview wasn't over with.

"Are you familiar with the trope 'the grumpy one is in love with the sunshine one'?" the interviewer asked. She was a pretty thing with long bleach blonde hair, tan skin, and a slinky pink satin dress.

"Oh yeah, it's one of my favorite tropes," Steve agreed. "Morpheus and Hob, Mulder and Scully, Nico and Will, Watson and Holmes."

She smiled at him. "Would you say that it also describes you and your boyfriend Eddie Munson?"

Steve laughed. "I'm assuming you think he's the grumpy one and I'm the sunshine one?"

"Exactly!" she said with a laugh.

"The trope works," Steve agreed. "But not in the way you think. If it was purely aesthetic, I would be the sunshine one and Eddie would be grumpy one, no doubt. But based on our actual personalities? He is so the sunshine one."

"Aww..." she cooed. But it was clear even to Eddie that she was only saying that to placate Steve.

"No I mean it," Steve said, catching her tone. "I'm only glitter and glow. I take my light from other people. The clothes I wear, the way I style my hair, my modeling. I'm definitely the moon and the stars. But I look warm and my skin is tan because his love for me shines every day. I glow because he is my sun."

The interviewer's jaw dropped. "Wow."

"He is so good and so bright and so happy all the time," Steve continued. "He lights up whatever room he walks into. That's what makes him a good performer. He shines on stage. He looks like a creature of the night, because he's moon kissed. Because I love him, I'm the moon to his sun."

"Does that make you sun-kissed then?" the interviewer asked.

Steve laughed. "Yeah, I guess it does."

There was a tap on Steve's shoulder and he was being told to move on. He said goodbye to the interviewer and turned around, spotting Eddie.

"There you are, sunshine," he greeted warmly.

Eddie reached out his hand to Steve who took it with a fond smile. And as they walked down the red carpet, Eddie thought. Before tonight he would have agreed with the interviewer. He was the moon to Steve's sun. But hearing Steve's explanation, it made more sense.

It also gave him an idea for the band's next album. A double album called Sun-kissed and Moon-glow. Steve on the cover of Sun-kissed, bathed in the light of Eddie's love, his skin starting to glow yellow from the kiss Eddie is pressing to his shoulder.

Moon-glow would be the reverse. Eddie golden but bathed in Steve's moonlight, skin turning alabaster from Steve's kiss.

He looked over at Steve one more time. The boys were going to love the idea. Almost as much as he loved this man at his side.

*

Tagging this because it's long enough I think.

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[hazelfoureyes]

Sending in anon because I'm a coward... 😩

I'm a new reader, and I just have to say-- your "a doe in fall" series is just... AMAZING!!

I could go on, and on and on about how much I love it. But what gets me the most is always Alastor's dialogue, because as someone who is also on the aro/ace spectrum, I just get it so much. Especially the subtle hoping that reader can like... Read his mind about how he feels for her, and the weird sort of stockholm syndrome we sometimes develop with ourselves after being alone with only our own company for so long, and it really is, lol, like you just get so used to being alone for so long because you know the idea people have of you, you can't truly live up to, so you don't want to "disappoint" them that you actually aren't like they are, so you just sorta... Keep them occupied at arms length-- Therefore you're forced to adapt to your company being the only love you have for a long time. it's like an obligation.

And when or if the special somebody who understands you comes along, you realize... "Wow, I've been living like this for so long, is this what it feels like to be loved and appreciated, in spite of my oddities, or maybe even in favor of them? Strange..."

Emphasis on the "strange" part because, when you're so deeply entrenched in your own soul, sharing your space for another almost feels more like learning how to swim rather than an instant "click", sparks, fireworks and whatnot. The excitement of the magical "other" has been long since drowned and snuffed out of you.

So, when this somebody who is similar to you, or just simply understands, doesn't try to change you or ignore you, but instead envelopes you and adores you, the appreciation is deep and overflowing. But there's a part of you always pinching your heart, a sort of awareness of something that isn't the case, wondering "Is this a dream? what if it is and I'll wake up and this is not at all what I was thinking?".

Haha... ANYWAY, sorry for the slightly morose and LONG read 😂 But I always think of how similar I am to how you write alastor and it's scary in a way, but comforting (especially since he's my first and biggest fictional crush) except in this case my profession would actually be burlesque. Especially since I work in the exotic dance world. It's fascinating being aro/ace in the SW world, I could go on forever- But yeah, I absolutely love your writing!! Makes me feel less alone in this world. Annnd surprisingly I always feel so sensual after reading, I love love love it!! Reading before work always gets me in the mood to dance and pretend I'm Y/N, lol!!

Much blessings ❤️❤️

*cracks knuckles* listen here babycakes, I eat this shit UP. Exploring Human Ace Alastor is my BREAD AND BUTTER. I go into ESSAYS in the AO3 comments in this 😂

you really understand, which makes me so happy and is confirmation I’m conveying him the way I want to.

Now I’m gonna ramble and echo you basically 😂

I really think Alastor (atleast in this story) feels that excitement and strangeness of how open he can be around Autumn (since she doesn’t have a proper name cuz she’s reader 😂). He’s a fish out of water despite the fact he’s actually being his most authentic self. Like you said, it’s new to him just to be … Alastor. To be honest and upfront. His normal operating mode has been so restricted for so long he’s struggling with how to be himself. And then that fear—- well what if I’m too much? What if I ruin this, when I finally have something worth keeping? He’s never gotten this far and the fear of losing that comfort is terrifying but so is the actual comfort itself. It’s new and foreign.

A deep uneasiness that’s if he fully embraces this he’s gonna just fuck it up and it’ll be his fault this time. Not a misunderstanding or misalignment of needs but a confirmation he wasn’t good enough anyway.

“it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” he would say that’s bullshit

and because of the situations he’s been in before, he’s never gotten to actually explore physical intimacy in a “safe” environment. He was always going into interactions because he had to if he wanted to keep people around. It was a necessity, not something he actually sincerely wanted to participate. So he tried to keep them happy with other means of affection and intimacy to maintain some safe distance but eventually, always, things would fall apart. At a distance or up close.

that’s why that most recent part was called Learning. Alastor is trying new things to learn more about what he’s okay with or doesn’t care for even offering in the future. Autumn is learning (that night, tho she doesn’t understand it yet) that he’s still figuring out how to meet her halfway (even tho she’s not even asking for that) when he’s used to being forced to meet people where they are. And Detective Brady, of course, is learning he may have found motive for Tommy’s disappearance.

I’m really glad you’re enjoying his portrayal and that you’re resonating with parts of him! That makes my soul hum! 💖 your line of work mixed with your Aro/Ace-ness sounds like such an interesting conversation if we’re honest! That’s a small aspect I love about Autumn. She’s in this field that’s (wrongly) considered to be hyper sexual and full of air headed wanton whores, but she’s the first person to be like “oh! You aren't into this stuff. Let me adjust my expectations. I’ll ask for clear verbal consent, not initiate, and I’m totally okay with never fucking again if it’s for your love and company.”

I work in the SW industry in a sense (Personal Assistant) and one of my biggest pet peeves is all of the shit people project on SWers.

sorry for the essay I could talk about this for ETERNITY

omg and THANK YOU! 🥺💖💖💖💖

Referencing:

A Doe in Fall (Human Alastor x Burlesquer Fem Reader)

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦

[thevindicativevordan]

Similar to your analysis on Wonder Woman, what are your thoughts on Zatanna ? What should be her goal in life, her creed, her home base, etc... ?

erodA annataZ, ylisae ym dnoces etirovaf CD eniorehrepus retfa rednoW namoW.

Her greatest strength as a character is that she is at home among both the superheroes and the grittier Vertigo magical side. Magic in general at DC runs the spectrum from pure hearted Billy Batson serving as the Champion of Magic, to John Constantine sending a girl to Hell after a botched exorcism. That Zatanna can show up in either character's book and not feel out of place is a testament to her flexibility. You want to write a lighthearted Zatanna story with a comedic tone, have the Justice League poke their heads in, and generally show the playful/joyous side of magic? Zatanna works for that. You want to write a horror story that is all about exploring the dangers of magic, keeps the capes at a distance, and muddies up the morality of what is the right thing to do? Zatanna works for those stories also.

Thanks to her job as a travelling magician I don't think she needs a base, but if I were to give her a home city it would have to be Las Vegas. Too perfect of a place to put her, a city of casinos and theaters built up solely to serve as a tourist attraction that was funded in part by the Mafia? Even if Zee wasn't a performer herself, you could easily give Vegas a secret history as a hot spot for dark magic. With "Sin City" for a nickname would anyone even consider that a stretch to believe? Plus it fits her personality perfectly, a glitzy glamorous place that shines brightly, but has a hidden inner darkness.

Her personality is a key part of her appeal. Other than Harley, Zatanna is the highest-profile DC heroine with a "quirky" personality. Usually Zee delights in her magic, which differentiates her from her superhero peers. Superman doesn't go flying for the thrill of it, Batman isn't one to enjoy being a billionaire ninja, but Zatanna doesn't deprive herself of casting the odd bit of magic for fun. That makes her relatable, because let's face it: despite countless stories that bang on about the costs of magic, given the choice most people would rather have magic than be without it. Yes we get stories with sad sack Zatanna but that's not her default. She's a performer, a showwoman, she loves being in the spotlight and wowing the crowd. Can't do that if you're depressed all the time. Hell in my favorite "depressed Zatanna" story, Seven Soldiers, she's sad because her personal life is a mess not because she failed as a hero or because she's "cursed" with magic. Speaking of her personal life...

Yes it's toxic, yes Constantine is a bastard, and that's exactly why I like the two of them together. Mentioned how her strength as a character is she can operate with DC and Vertigo characters? That extends to her relationships too. You can give Zatanna the normal wholesome romance that every DC superhero usually gets, or you can give her the messy, drama filled romance with two toxic people that typically only exists in Vertigo books. My preference for Zatanna is that as a heroine she is on par with the Trinity. Call her the Sorceress Supreme or the Mistress of Magic, whatever the DC equivalent is, Zatanna is the top magic user of the current era. No magical threat is beyond her ability to handle, there's not a demon she can't bind or banish, a spell she can't unravel, given enough time. As a superheroine and magician, Zatanna is the greatest. In her personal life? She's a complete disaster. Suffers from an incurable case of broken wing syndrome where she has the worst taste in men imaginable. All her boyfriends are damaged beyond repair, yet she cannot ever stop picking up new ones and trying to fix them. No matter how many times you want her to get her act together and find someone who would be good for her, who wouldn't break her heart, Zatanna simply is incapable of that. When Constantine shows up again at her door, all you can do is groan, because no matter what those two are going to end up in bed together yet again.

Having said that, I should perhaps hypocritically clarify I don't want Zatanna to be defined solely by her relationships with men. Writers do her a disservice by constantly rehashing her daddy issues, as if that's the only possible story she can be a lead in. I've been vocally pro killing the Kents for Superman, but if someone wanted to bring Zatara back to life I would support that wholeheartedly. Why can't we get stories about her on the road touring, performing in magic shows, dealing with magical threats around the DCU Earth? Or a companion book to Batman/Superman that pairs Wonder Woman and Zatanna together? Seeing the friendship between Diana and Zatanna was one of my favorite parts of Tynion and Ram V's JLD runs. I want MORE stories of Zatanna and Diana working together.

Outside of the Leaguers I believe Zatanna is the character with the biggest potential to find a larger fanbase amongst the general public. Her depth and complexity as a character, the ability to tell stories with her you couldn't tell with other heroes, and the popularity of her closest Marvel equivalent in the Scarlet Witch, are what I point at to support my belief. All she needs is someone with the ability and willingness at WB/DC to give her a push.

[writeroffantasy03]

Loved 4-Sided Dive last night (especially that hilarious card game at the end). But I appreciated what Matt said about Dariax being on the ace spectrum and seeing Dorian as someone he admired and aspired to be like, like an older brother figure, because that’s exactly the vibe I got from him the entire time. (Wow, he’s good at acting, who could have predicted this.)

I guess it’s just nice to see that not everything has to be romantic, especially when many aspects of a character’s story and personality often feels read through shipping goggles. I say this as someone who has only clocked and shipped the canon pairings throughout the whole of Critrole (and is also on the ace spectrum). Sometimes it’s nice to appreciate the platonic relationships between characters, which are just as valid and important.

Other notes:

- We all knew Orym had feelings for Dorian, right??

- Aimee is hilarious. I need to see her in more games.

- Loved that Dariax would have stayed until the end to save Opal. (Glad she forced him to leave.)

- The whole CK arc and what BH just experienced is going to make for an interesting episode this Thursday.

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

I'm Not Sure How To Feel...

Dear Future Husband,

Wow. I almost wrote Deaf Uture Husband, which is either ironic or a Freudian slip of the fingers, because that's literally what this post is about.

I grew up with a disabled, lazy, mostly-absentee, so-many-other-problems, father.

And someone just sent me the resume for someone similar.

Now, the truth is, I don't know him all that well.

But I do know that he's deaf (aka disabled). And that (at least in the beginning, especially around the divorce) he has been kind of an absentee father. And that he was kind of pushed into working despite not really wanting to, so he basically works a minimum wage job.

I know all this because he's the ex of a family friend.

Yeah.

Also he's a lot younger than me, which on it's face isn't necessarily a problem, but it's the lack of maturity more than the "youngness" that bothers me.

The friend who sent the resume is one of the absolute sweetest people you could ever meet in your life.

We were in middle and high school together, though we didn't share too many classes and weren't in the same social circles, so at the time we were more acquaintances than friends.

But recently I signed up to bring them a meal after she gave birth and I've since been helping her out with the kids a few times a week and we've definitely moved from acquaintances to friends.

Since it's been less than 2 months though, we are still getting to know each other and I'm not sure if the resume was her idea or her husband's. I don't even really know if they actually know him or just read the resume and thought it sounded good for me. But she had asked me if the last name had ever come across my desk before and I just thought to myself "it caaaan't be who I think it is...." so I told her to feel free to send it over, because the best case scenario is that it's someone I've never heard of and the worst case scenario is I just say no thank you.

I considered how to word it when I saw that it was exactly who I thought it was, and ended up just telling her how funny it was that I actually did know who he was and that it was just not shayich for a bunch of reasons, but I'd keep him in mind for others.

Diplomatic, closed the subject, and now we can move on.

Or can we....?

Because this is the second guy suggested to me this year who is a little off.

And I know that kind of comes with the territory of being an "older single".

And I know that people think that I'm the sweetest person and therefore would entertain the idea of these guys because I come across as a nonjudgemental person, the exact type these guys would need to marry.

But at the same time, I'd like to think people deem me worthy of at least a 6, you know?

Neither of these guys are ugly, per se, but they're just ambitionless.

And I know, look who's talking, right? But the truth is, I do have ambitions, I just have no way to make them happen because I don't have the mazal for it.

These guys could have all the mazal in the world, but they just kind of couldn't care less, I guess.

They kind of lack personality.

And I know I have friends who are all personality who married very mild guys, but I feel like I need someone who I can have a conversation with. Someone I can be a bit combative with (in a healthy way). Someone with thoughts and ideas and who wants to do things.

Does this mean I just don't come off as my authentic self to the people who are trying to set me up? (Not that I really think I'm ready for marriage yet, but since Hashem works in mysterious ways, I don't just shoot down whatever ideas are floated my way)

The first guy who was suggested to me this year I did actually go out with. Since I was away for the summer and he was staying like an hour and a half away from where I was staying, he took a bus to come meet me, which I totally didn't expect to happen.

He was nice enough, but awkward and probably on the spectrum. I did most of the talking and it was like pulling teeth to get him to open up about most things, so I kept it light and did mostly ice breaker type conversation while we walked around a park a little bit. Then I drove him to catch his bus and that was kind of it.

The girl who wanted us to go out was an old family friend I hadn't seen in at least 15 years, but I ran into her at a simcha and she had her mom (who used to be a shadchan) do the shadchan thing.

Just based on his resume, I had a feeling it wasn't going to work out because hashkafically we were in two different places, but I figured if he was up to meet, then the least I could do was give him an hour or two of my time, because maybe I'd know someone who is right for him.

The friend later told me that he never dates because he's too shy and she'd been trying to get him to go out for several years and I was the first person he'd said yes to. She tried to get me to go on another date with him, but like I said, hashkafically we were just on two different pages though if he's interested in talking tachlis, I'll go out again, but he kind of agreed because he didn't want a second date either. (She kind of figured if she could get me to say yes then maybe he would too. I think she's just trying to get him out of his little rut, though I don't know if he wants to leave it, to be honest...)

For example, I'm looking for someone for whom attending minyan is important, whereas he prefers to daven by himself, if at all.

And I'm looking for someone who has a regular learning seder multiple days a week, at the very least over the phone if they're unable to connect in person, and he learns about once a week, if at all.

I want a Shabbos table that revolves around Torah, sefarim, and zemiros. And he... I guess doesn't?

In general I'm just looking for someone more serious about and more settled in their yiddishkeit and I didn't get that impression of him in the resume or in person (and then the shadchan confirmed those impressions too).

And as for this second guy I was just suggested... I get the feeling it's the same type of situation. I've met him several times and he just reminds me so much of my father in terms of his apathy towards yiddishkeit and being a father.

That's not at all what I'm looking for.

And I know this friend who sent the resume for this second guy sees the world through such positive, beautiful glasses, but I can't help thinking that it's kind of offensive people think that little of me.

Again, maybe that's not at all what she was thinking. Maybe she doesn't actually know him and was just passing along the resume for someone who on paper looks great. I mean, the resume looks decent. The blurb is short and hits all the important positive points, so from the outside it is similar to what I'm looking for.

But knowing the person and the way things went down with the divorce and everything definitely changes the whole perspective. His ex was literally in tears on multiple occasions that he seemed so disinterested in his role as a father and just showing up and being present when the kids wanted him.

So I guess at this point I'm just hoping she doesn't actually know him and was just passing along the resume because it looks decent.

Either way, dear future husband, he is not you. Neither of them are. I can say that with confidence.

-LivelyHeart

[possibilistfanfiction]

Omg i would loveee to read more about Cait’s difficulty dealing with changes when it comes to Vi specifically. The part where you wrote about her going to cry in the washroom when Vi got her summer haircut was adorable but also intrigued me to the point that I was thinking about what else, small things or big changes, she would have difficulty with? And how Vi helps her out in those moments with understanding?

sry i'm just going to be answering a few of these prompts that will show up being explored more in the longer vander fic (the wildfires are delaying my finishing it but one day!)

but ok for now :)

i think for the most part cait just has a hard time processing when ppl change physically (which is common w ppl on the spectrum etc, like girl me too! lol). it's not that she wants to control vi (or anyone!), but just that she processes her own self & appearance in relation to the ppl she's familiar with & cares for. when something changes suddenly it feels rly unsettling & upsetting bc she has to process it all way too fast for her brain, & it feels like her routine / understanding of the world is v abruptly disrupted. it's happened since she was little (& honestly even w her transition she obviously was very sure & excited & so relieved when she got the care she wanted, but she had to talk a lot abt it in therapy to feel ready! again, so fair!!)

the first time it happens w vi, she's like both upset & also extremely embarrassed bc a) vi looks hot? truly a great look, cait loves it & she's so handsome; b) even if she didn't, vi's body is her own & it's one of the things caitlyn cares abt the most -- making sure vi's autonomy is respected & celebrated; c) it made vi happy. so she's like upset, & then upset AT herself for being upset, & then kinda mortified bc she cried in a bathroom lol (to make matters worse jinx also witnessed her little meltdown)

vi just wants to take care of ppl tho & so obviously she's not mad, just kinda confused. she sends jinx off on some errand even tho jinx is like well *i* understand why she's upset but whatever, fine, i'll go pick up ice cream with your credit card :)

so cait & vi do talk & cait is like i'm sorry you look so handsome, i will explain. & she does & vi is like huh, ok. that's rly easy for me to help you with, i don't mind at all (bc it is easy & she rly genuinely doesn't mind)

so in the future if vi wants a haircut or a new tattoo or something she just tells cait like 2 weeks in advance & invites cait to come if she wants. sometimes it helps to see the change happening so she can process it beforehand & also in real time. vi just kind of does it w jinx too bc she'll talk abt it in front of both of them & jinx is like wow this is kinda nice, thanks cait :)

she probably needs a whole new round of therapy abt it once they have a kid bc vi understands cait's timing now but children are just growing & changing constantly lol. but she's the best mom, it's all good

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Spare Me Your Mercy - final thoughts

I was out of town last week, so didn't have a chance to watch the SMYM finale until today. But wow, what an experience this show was. I have a few minor criticisms, but overall, I found this to be such a nuanced and heartfelt watch.

You can tell how deeply those making this series cared about the topic of euthanasia, and creating a venue for discussion. The emphasis on people's autonomy and right to dignity, the callout of class disparity and how it impacts the end of one's life, the inequity in health care and how people with few resources are disproportionately burdened with caring for dying family while still trying to survive day to day. How the trauma and pain of it all grows exponentially, continually leading to further tragedy.

I know there are criticisms of the Kan and Thiu relationship, but honestly, it worked for me. To me, it felt like what was needed for the story. Thiu is clearly a deeply internal character. He may not necessarily hide but he is not remotely forthcoming about his inner world, whether it be his sexuality or his affections or his worries about Kan. Kan is much more open and extroverted, but at the same time, he was willing to lie to Thiu for their entire lives due to his convictions. These are not men who are going to be doing grand romantic gestures for each other; it's a quiet, and honestly, quite realistic form of love. At the same time, it was supposed to feel slightly off, because there was a giant wall between the two of them. There were too many secrets, and too much pain, and none of it was being dealt with in the open. They couldn't be genuinely honest and intimate with each other. Until the very end, when Kan shows he is willing to give up everything in an act of love for Thiu, and Thiu is finally able to say what he feels. It may feel dark, but the wall is down, and I think they will weather what comes next.

What I particularly appreciate about this series is the emphasis on how harmful it is when you cannot talk about a difficult subject. It is likely that many of us fall into slightly different places on the spectrum of what is moral and ethical when it comes to euthanasia, but the vital thing is being able to communicate about it. Thiu's mother wasn't able to tell her son that she was ready to die, so he became mired in his regrets and his grief, rather than understanding it was her choice. Rin wasn't able to talk to her father, to know that he was self-determining his end (and thinking of her), so she was left to wonder and feel rejected. Somsak wasn't willing to listen to his lover's wishes, due to his entrenched beliefs, so missed being there for his final moments. Boss couldn't come to Kan directly, and ended up on a misguided and fatal path. And none of them had an avenue to process their pain. It all needed to be talked about, to be brought into the light of day without fear or shame. We all need to be able to talk about it.

It's really interesting to watch this show as someone who grew up in America when the furor around Kevorkian happened (for the non-Americans, a doctor who went to prison for euthanizing a terminally ill man), and experienced what it's like when euthanasia breaks in as a topic of news cycles and everyday conversation. I am also someone who lives in a state where assisted dying is legal. My parents are elderly, and we have talked about their end of life wishes. Living in a state where they could make their own decisions was paramount to them. It's incredibly challenging, and it hurts to even think about, but it is so very necessary to communicate with those we love.

My heart goes out to everyone who has had to personally grapple with this topic, and had to deal with a lack of legal options for a peaceful end of life. May we come ever closer to a world where we all get full autonomy, and can be open with those we love about what we need, both now, and at the end.

[haunted-pool-noodle]

DISCLAIMER i have not worked my way through all the eris dialogue yet so if she says something that contradicts all of this uhh. ill explode or something idk

anyway i feel like eris and hypnos actually have the potential to become besties when you think about it! like at a glance it does not seem like they'd vibe (and maybe wouldn't for a while) but i absolutely think they could

they both stand out to me bc (and honestly are both my faves bc) they don't really follow the same adherence to rules and responsibility that p much every other god does, particularly in the nyx family. hypnos constantly slacks off at work in hades 1, and the only reason he starts putting in effort is basically bc he wants approval from than and nyx. eris criticizes mel all the time for being so uptight, as well as nyx and than for being such strict rule-followers. they could both really connect over having someone else who is similarly opposed to that workaholic mindset (worth noting for eris, she refers to than as "brother number i dont even know anymore" and specifically doesnt care about him bc he's uptight like everyone else iirc, so i think she'd really appreciate having someone in the fam who isn't that way)

also, like. yes eris can be pretty cruel to mortals but hypnos is also pretty callous towards them most of the time? like he's pretty comfortable with the topic of death (which does make sense, given his job) but he just doesn't take it very seriously at all, like with natural causes he's just like "wow! sucks to be a mortal lol." plus that whole bit when he just suggests that thanatos just kill everyone all at once so they can hang out more like his ass does not care 😭 so i dont think he'd really care about eris tormenting humans, and in turn i think she might really like someone finally just being chill about it rather than looking down on her basically for being strife. also she'd probably find it funny how nonchalant he can be abt this, and in turn hypnos would enjoy her particular brand of chaos lol

thematically though, part of eris' whole thing is about how she feels ostracized from the rest of the fam bc strife is literally in her nature, while hypnos is shunned bc of his constant sleeping. both are pushed out bc of their very natures. but where they differ is hypnos prioritizes his relationships to the rest of the family and is willing to fight against his nature in order to do his job at the House and thereby impress/appease nyx and than, restoring his relationships to them at the cost of his personal happiness. meanwhile eris believes in being true to herself above all else, and if that means severing ties, then so be it. she mentions at a few different points that she's not going to change her nature for what anyone else wants, and that they shouldn't be surprised at how she acts, given that she's literally strife incarnate (an argument I've seen plenty of people give wrt hypnos sleeping at the job while being sleep incarnate). i think if they interacted more they could actually learn a lot from each other and maybe both move closer to the middle of that spectrum

also hypnos is usually seen as the childish one throughout hades 1 but eris is specifically stated to be one of the youngest in the nyx family so i would love to see some older brother hypnos content 🙏

[hollowwish]

List of arosepc headcanons I have below (it is quite long) (list subject to future updates/suggestions (you can send me propaganda for your blorbo))

Ford Pines - he literally just has the vibes tbh. Crazy uncle who doesn't want anyone bc he's aromantic and obsessed with portals. also it would make billford worse.

Mable Pines - she literally picks her crushes and then stops 'liking' them in week. Do you know how many aromantic people have done this.

Hollyleaf warrior cats - fallen leaves was her qpp. Okay. The website family tree is lying to you. If Lionblaze asked her when she would get married she'd respond with "I'm already married to the warrior code."

Sonic T. Hedgehog - it's in character. Sega themsleves said he would hate settling down.... (I also think hes bi)

huey dewey louie or webby duck(tales) - at least one of them is arosepc I just can't figure out which one. Or maybe it's all of them

Della duck - cool aromantic lesbian mom. She does not need a husband or a partner she just needs her ducklings (and donald ig)

lapis lazuil - ngl I was rewatching steven universe and I just had a Feeling. Also she's one of my favorite characters, so.

Rise Leo - he's like Mabel he's doing comphet. (I think he's gay aromantic specifically and just keeps mistaking "I want to be friends with this guy/wow they're attractive" with "I want to date him") (also makes the fandom wide headcanon of aro donnie really funny. Wrong twin guys..)

C!peal and c!gem - especially empires s1. Pearl being aroace and gem being arospec but she hasn't figured that out yet (insert "I'm probably nonbinary but I have a job" image)

On that note, empires 1 fwhip has and will always be demiromantic in my mind

No idea what e2 fwhip has going on but he is somewhere on the aro spectrum. Maybe it's why he's so weird abt jimmy.

ONE Jimmy solidarity character is also arosepc I just don't know which one. But one of them is i know it in my bones.

grian and scar - they are both aros who fuck and 3rd life was world shattering platonic love.

Donatello tmnt - I haven't seen every tmnt iteration but like. ONE of them is aro and it is NOT rise donnie

Scott smajor - @/funkily suggested he was cupio and it made way too much sense

Saiki kusuo - do I even need to explain this one. It's basically canon (unless it is canon and I just missed something)

Wednesday Addams - most aromantic coded girl ever and I'm going to fight netflix for making her kiss barista boy

Shadow the Hedgehog - he's arospec but has no idea bc he sucks at recognizing his own emotions. ("Im probably aromantic but i have a job and trauma")

Twilight Sparkle - if you asked her what love is she would give you the dictionary definition

Rainbow Dash - it came to me in a vision

Silver the Hedgehog - also came to me in a vision

Honorable mentions -

Oli theorionsound (suggested by sage thinkingabout-girls)

Whatever the fuck was going on with divorce quartet in double life specifically

Violet and lena saberwing ducktales

Also ducktales gosalyn

At least one of the powerpuff girls

Adrien agreste because (iirc) he sucks at romance and I need to escape love square hell

Mumbo jumbo

Arospec mythicalsausage

Maud Pie (I think if I finished mlp she'd be on the list)