#like i phrased this post to be funny but i am having a very very very bad time

[cassandracain52]

Reverse trope

where instead of the Bats forgetting that they’re adopted (something actual adoptees do on occasion and is hilarious) they forget that some of them *cough Damian cough* aren’t

_______

Jason in the heat of a probably ridiculous argument: Yeah well YOU’RE adopted!

Tim just as invested in said argument: So are YOU! We all are!

Damian who had previously been quietly watching this unfold while he drank his tea: Actually I’m not

Tim and Jason who didn’t realize he was there but are already DoneTM: …… Damian continuing to sip his tea entirely unbothered: :)

Damian: Because I’m not an orphan-

Jason: ok, yoU KNOW WHAT-

____

or like in their group texts (that we know they have thanks to Nightwing (2016) #79)

*Steph changed the group chat name to “Bruce Wayne’s Personal Orpanage”*

Jason: Really?

Steph: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Steph: It’s the truth Damian: Both my parents are very much alive

Steph: Shhh you don’t count

Cass: Mine too Duke: Technically so are mine

Barbara: I still have a dad so there’s that

Steph: YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE JOKE

Tim: Stephanie aren’t BOTH of your parents alive???

Steph: KNOW WHAT? FINE

*Steph changed the group chat name to “The Technicality Police”*

Tim: well that’s more accurate at least

Steph: :)

_____

Damian in his 10th argument with Tim of the day: That’s- this is-

Tim in full Antagonizing Big Brother mode: I’m listening

Damian -a Gen Z and best friend to Jon Kent- extremely frustrated: This is such Motherless behavior!

Tim taken aback: [voice cracking] W-what-?

Damian who didn’t mean to say that but doubling down anyway because his bloodline doesn’t believe in admitting mistakes: THIS! This is such Motherless behavior!

The rest of the family who is also motherless: :O

Cass whose been spending way too much time with Meme Queen Stephanie Brown and not involved in the argument but finding it entertaining regardless: [nodding along seriously] Facts

Tim: [visibly betrayed] CASS WHAT-

A video copy of the interaction gets sent out anonymously to the entire family. Barbara is the prime suspect but there is no proof as of yet (and they will never find any)

Steph, Cass, and Duke continue to respond “Motherless behavior” everytime one of the bats does something they deem questionable/insane. It is said often

It only stops when one night in the middle of patrol. Batman is in full Dark Knight mode (possibly in the middle of threatening someone) and descends from the ceiling into the middle of a warehouse drug deal, dark cape billowing out behind him-

and Steph just automatically whispers “Motherless behavior” forgetting her com was still very much on

She immediately realizes what she said and frantically apologizes but it’s too late.

Bruce just- Blue Screens. Completely stunned into silence

Dick -who was unfortunate enough to be the one teamed up with Batman tonight- is fighting for his life to choke back his laughter

Jason doesn’t even try to stop his and has collapsed to his knees from lack of air from how hard he’s laughing. Cass try’s half heartedly patting his back to help to no avail

The criminals are terrified into surrender from The Red Hood just laughing hysterically at seemingly nothing while Batman just Stands There

Damian ends up being the only one still functioning enough to continue arresting everyone, though he is privately amused and strangely proud

Tim and Barbara have saved both the com recordings and cowl footage to at least three different servers and sent it to absolutely everyone before Batman even recovers

Duke finds out second hand the next morning and is furious he missed the chance to see it in person. He declares he is moving to the nightshift so it doesn’t happen again. (He is all talk and goes to bed by 9 pm)

Bruce bans the phrase for life and promises swift and server punishment to anyone who dares to use it again

[big-meows]

It is so so so immeasurably fucked up that severe anxiety shares so many symptoms with heart problems because nothing is guaranteed to spike your anxiety like thinking you might have heart problems and also do you know what is bad for you if you have heart problems? Stress and anxiety!!! FUCK YOU!!!

[caffeinatedopossum]

I don't understand why it's generally not socially acceptable to recognize your good qualities. Like I don't understand why it's bad to be a show-off or a know-it-all or to brag. Like I think most people know "those things = bad" but not why.

It also seems like people are always either waaaaay into one end of the scale where they are just so unbearably full of themselves and have preposterously high self esteem (and most people act like this is fine too? Like a lot of celebrities and white men specifically seem to be like this) and I don't understand why so many people respect them then. Or they're the complete opposite with self esteem way too low despite the fact that they have redeeming qualities.

I feel like maybe the reason it's considered bad to brag is because you might 'make' other people feel inadequate but see that seems like a stupid reason to me because the problem then is not that you stated an opinion of your own self worth but is actually that everyone else is conditioned to compare themselves to each other in a very unhealthy way. And I think instead of discouraging people from opening up about what they take pride in, what they like about themselves, what makes them feel happy or content or confident, maybe we could just be discouraging people from viewing those things as personal threats? Idk just trying to formulate some thoughts on this

[giantkillerjack]

pssst.... there are a lot of queer christians! their experiences and faith are valid. it sucks you weren't able to jive with the church, but don't act like its impossible because of your sexuality when many other lgbt folx have managed just fine

My friend, you do you, but being a faggot dyke tranny helped keep me out of an abusive organization, and for me and all of my formerly religious friends, that is that.

[laesas]

As someone who definitely doesn't count as an A/B/O enjoyer it's still super interesting to me just how much influence it has over wider fandom and fanfiction. Like as soon as you're "in the know" it's just absolutely everywhere.

[tardis--dreams]

One thing you need to know about me is that I will never reblog anything that has the addition "this should be reblogged by everyone" or anything of the like.

[slayfk]

does having my horse descriptions stolen by a big horse twitter account mean i’ve made it big …

sigh … i got them to take these two down at least, but i had to call each one out individually to them for them to do it and they said it was just an accident that they were extremely similar and that a conscious effort had been made to NOT make them similar… i feel bad making like an actual “callout” since they took the posts down and said they felt bad but when i contacted them about it they only took one post down until i specifically asked them about another so they seemed to be trying to just get away with what they could...unsure

i'm not upset about the images because the purpose of the horseimagebarn (aside from funny descriptions) is to sort and archive horse images so people can find the exact kind of horse image they're looking for with ease...what bothers me (as i am not exactly "upset" as that's a bit intense, more just annoyed and disappointed) is the use of my descriptions

i surprisingly put a lot of effort into my posts so it sucks to see someone with one of the biggest horse image/meme accounts on twitter that i previously really enjoyed and looked up to all of a sudden start stealing my posts and even when they don’t, they use really similar tone and phrasing to mine which would be fine on its own but combined with the stealing it makes me feel very strange like someone is just trying to be me somewhere else and getting a lot more attention for it (attention is not why i do this, but it's just like an extra kick to the penis to see them have so much of it for my work!!)

p.s. to combat this i did make a horseimagebarn twitter just to repost screenshots of my posts as it feels wrong to be upset about plagiarism on a platform i am not on, and maybe if that account sees that i am active there they'll stop rewording my posts … so i’ll just be reposting my stuff there to hopefully prevent something like this from happening again :,) there won't be any new content on twitter as tumblr is my home and i care about it one horsillion times more so don't worry, this is literally just to repost my tumblr posts to discourage further plagiarism

not telling you to follow that because i really don't care about that and it's the same content as here but i wanted to inform you in case you see someone with the @ horseimagebarn on twitter that's me don't worry

anyway yeah... if you know which account i am talking about don't harass them because i do NOT want to be the one to start horse image community drama (dischorse as we have coined it), hopefully they'll go back to their original style of post and it'll all be okay!! shoutout to my wonderful friends in the horseblr discord for helping me check the account and figure out the plagiarized posts i love you fellows

[talenlee]

Hanamusa, Explained

There is a nonzero chance if you follow me on tumblr, you’ve seen the term ‘Hanamusa’ attached to something I shared. It’s probably also some super cute art of Delia Ketchum and Jessie Teamrocket, and you may wonder what is going on and also, why is there so much good art of this.

Hanamusa as a term derives from the Japanese names of the characters – Hanako and Musashi. If you’re into shipping name structures, Hana-Musa implies that Hanako is the seme and Musashi the uke, but I don’t think that holds for all use cases of the type of terminology. It’s a ship. It’s an AU ship, as in an ‘alternate universe’ ship, where the two characters are presented in a context outside of the normal context of the anime presentation of them.

The Hanamusa ship as I understand it is set at some point after Jessie and James stop chasing Ash around, and Jessie settles down into a relationship with Delia. There’s tension about her history with Ash and the confusion about finding Your Personal Villain dating your mom, but mostly it’s about showing a sweet domestic life between two characters you know very well in a format I kind of see as like, Comedy-Sabot Romantic 4koma. Like, Hanamusa content is funny (and it is VERY funny) but it doesn’t need to be funny, because the main thing it’s about is showing these two characters and their relationship as they do cute things together.

It’s why people watch shows like K-On basically.

As for where this idea comes from, (EDIT: Slightly wonky wording here, I should have phrased 'this current fandom push' - I don't have any reason to believe Mai INVENTED the ship, just that when you go looking you'll wind up at her work) it seems to have its genesis with the work of one Kiana Mai, who developed this ship some time ago. Kiana Mai is also an extremely skilled artist, and one of those skills seems to be focus, creating these extremely clean-line excellently structured scene vignettes with no unnecessary content in them but also no need to rocket along. It’s amazing, engaging work that uses every part of the small format amazingly well. Which makes sense because one of the things Kiana Mai does is storyboarding work for Disney animated TV shows, a task at which I am sure she no doubt excels.

What I think is the most interesting aspect of Hanamusa, to me specifically, is that it manages to combine three things I don’t actually care about, in a way that doesn’t interfere with something I have unexpectedly strong opinions on. I do not watch Pokemon, and I have not shed a tear for Team Rocket and Ash Ketchum wandering into the sunset. That is a show that is not for or about my interests and that is okay. Indeed, imagining that it should be about what interests me is baffling. I think if I stopped watching a show twenty years ago, I have lost all right to act like I’m entitled to expect it remain the way it was all the way back then.

But I do have opinions on Jessie and James’ character voice. Not their voice acting – I mean, I know for a fact they’ve had to change over time and no voice actor should be obligated to kick it in the same role for what could be their entire career. I mean the way they talk about things and the words they use and kind of emphasis they put on words when they talk. About the way they voice their ideas, or the way they express who they are in the way they talk to one another, that stuff. It’s about affordances and persona, about the kind of people you project being by what words you choose to use and the affect when using them.

It’s why when, if a picture of a character is underneath it, you can read some dril posts as being ‘appropriately’ voiced by a character, even if it’s describing a candle situation that Francis Crozier did not have opinions on.

Jessie has a voice.

Jessie, in my head, is someone capable of moments of tenderness and friendship that is normally overwhelmed by an incredible confidence in ability she does not have and mere reality will never be given permission to infringe on it. Jessie is unassailably unstoppably sure of herself, thoughtlessly stupid in a way that doesn’t mean she is stupid, but which exists in a context of someone who has relentlessly pursued excellence in her job which is also the equivalent of being a late night 7/11 manager. She is the Girlboss that is Gaslighting herself into thinking she has something to Gatekeep.

Delia Ketchum by comparison is a very nice piece of wallpaper. Every appearance of her in my mind is someone Very Nice who is Very Patient and Very Supportive and has managed to keep literally all emotionally challenging conversations from happening around Ash, which can be perhaps easier when you remember that he, too, is an idiot. I don’t know how Delia Ketchum talks, but I do know that there are ways that Delia Ketchum does not talk.

This is interesting! It’s interesting because it presents a character where I am very sure I know what she does do when she does it, and a character about whom I can only be sure wouldn’t do some things. It creates a character space, and it creates expectations of affect and performance within that space. Ash and other characters show up as well, but because they get to interact with this already-defined space, you get treated to this really lovely kind of resonance. Would Ash call Jessie ‘dad’? Maybe, to bug her. He was good at being a twerp. Wasn’t he? I mean I remember it that way, he seems to work out that way, but… how would I know?

I know more of this AU where Jessie is studying to be a Pokemon Doctor and Ash wears glasses than I do of the source material any more. And if you’re wondering ‘hey, do Jessie and Delia ever meet in the source material?’ Like, yeah, for a few seconds. What, the point is creating something new.

If you want to check out Hanamusa stuff and read the comics, I recommend going and clicking on the hashtag on tumblr.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Anime #Media

[skibidicipher-rpblog]

INTRO POST HIII

what’s up, skibidi slicers? It’s me, Bill Cigma (not to be confused with Bill Cipher, the lamer, less skibidi version of me), here to offer you a deal? don’t you want all the secrets to becoming as chad and sigma as i am? aren’t you tired of being a beta?

c’mon kid, i could make you a Skibidi Rizz God, just like me! all you’d have to do is dap me up…

(ooc under cut)

hii!! mod here :3

this is just a silly joke blog i’m making at *checks clock* 11pm on a monday night! it’s just bill, speaking in gen alpha slang and whatever other dumb silly phrases i think are funny. i’m not sure how long i can keep this up (just writing that intro post made me cringe so hard) but i’ll try my best!!

asks are very welcome!! go ahead!! bother me!! have fun!! be silly!!

Boundaries:

no nsfw!! i am a MINOR and very uncomfortable around stuff like that. and this bill acts like a little 12 year old boy (i know because i have one for a brother) anyway so i find it weird if someone were to try being icky and gross (billford is ok i find that shit fucking hilarious, as long as it isn’t gross)

please be patient!! as i said above i am a MINOR aka im still in school aka i have a butt ton of schoolwork to do and practices to go to. i’ll try my best to respond to asks whenever i can (that’s if i even get any LMAO)

and other basic stuff. don’t be hateful to me or anyone else, we’re all just having fun!! basically just use common sense :3

that’s all!!! enjoy the chaos!! - @xirine13

[triflesandparsnips]

There's a linguistics joke about how some English phrases can have their meanings radically changed just by rearranging the synonyms a little-- like how

a cottage in the forest

and

a cabin in the woods

are technically the same, and yet have vastly different implications.

I love these things. I collect them. Most of them are pretty funny, like

booty call versus butt dial

and the classic

bless me, Father, for I have sinned versus I'm sorry, Daddy, I've been very naughty

...but as I've been tinkering at a post that's taken longer than expected to write, I've noticed how much work goes into navigating those little instances of wording that are almost right but with a misstep could go very wrong.

In particular, I found myself correcting this phrase

trying to word this right

to this one

finding the right words for this

and-- it's technically the same, isn't it? Not even playing with synonyms. But the feeling is wrong.

The first implies that I'm trying not to offend (but am likely to anyway, because look, I've said anything at all), whereas the second implies that I'm trying to express something difficult, something for which words don't come easily.

And the second option there could also apply to something offensive, absolutely! But-- I dunno. It feels, to me, more like the sometimes-tragic urge to describe the indescribable.

It's a good sort of phrase to reach for, I think, more so than the first.

I'm going to say something for myself that may hurt you.

versus

I want to share this impossibly huge thing-- with you.

...and I just think that's neat.

[kurishiri]

on my way to start William’s route, but as for the other two…

official Ikemen Villains twitter posted templates and so I took used them, ehe. Minor route spoilers ahead, maybe, as I delve into some personal thoughts! You can click on the images for higher quality; I put content warnings for each route there too, though I may have missed a couple here and there.

Liam — key word: “tomorrow”

the themes in the story really add to the story’s poignancy, and I think it was interesting how they chose to make Liam an actor — as that part of his character played a significant role in the story and its themes.

I don’t have a very high sexy rating here relatively, and that’s not to say there aren’t sexy parts, but I think the presence of it feels a bit dampened by the fact I either didn’t purchase premium stories so it felt like the sexual scenes happened off screen in my personal experience or just that the story was overall so heavy with Liam’s mental struggles. Also, Liam was my first route, so I didn’t really have any other rating to compare it to. So I figured it was good to start somewhere in the middle and go on from there. Overall, I felt it was more romantic than sexy (especially if you look at, well… Alfons). To me, it’s not a bad thing! I’m just as alright with a story not having any sexual scenes as I am with one containing them.

honestly Liam’s route is probably the closest I’ll get to romancing Kate — because I related so much to Liam, he hit a bit too close to home sometimes lmao

Harrison — key phrase: “that doesn’t sound half bad.”

overall, I feel his story was solid. If you were to ask me between Liam and Harrison, whose route I enjoyed more, I would probably say Harrison. I enjoyed Liam as well for what it was, but I feel Harrison’s route is just more… fun.

to be completely honest he was really frustrating in the first few chapters. And the way the first sort of conflict ended between Kate and Harry still left me a bit frustrated. Even now, I sometimes wish it ended a bit differently, but I can understand as the story went on that Harry always had kind intentions toward Kate. He always had — since the beginning.

his romance definitely felt more subtle (and I loved that), since even if he has feelings for you, he always masks it with a half truth or a lie. And boy, is he good at lying 😂👌 at first they were really frustrating, but later there were a couple lies that are kinda funny that I can’t help but love him for his funny (and sweet) lies. Interpreting his half truth half lie words is like translating from another language lmao

reading Harrison’s route felt like reading a mystery and adventure novel at once. And I think if you want like to get a good taste of everyone else’s dynamics (without overshadowing Kate and Harry’s) in action and outside of it, it’s best to read Harry as opposed to Liam, in my opinion.

if you have any thoughts and opinions about the two, I’d love to hear!

[mcytblrsexymen]

Highlights from the Mod Chat pt 3.

[ID: discord message from a capricious and willful god, reading: shoutout to the fact that the quackity and etho girlies still seem to be deciding to ship them now love whatever was happening over there with that alliance. godbless]

[ID: discord message from LITTLE FRAUD JOCKEY, reading: I might do a little joe fraud but at most i'll do like. 20 votes. me: wow I wish I had the dedication to sit down and force myself to do a task also me, from 330am to 8am this morning: I love voter fraud I love voter fraud I love voter fraud I love voter fraud I love voter fraud I love voter fraud I love foter fraud I love voter fraud it has been reacted to nine times with the pushpin emoji]

[ID: discord message from [binarual + bisexual] I love everyone in the notes like "oh no I voted for them both how could they be in the same poll now!" Well, you see.]

[ID: discord conversation, reading: SAD GAYISMS for SEXYLAMPNAP: yeah but tumblr/4chan was more popular as a hateship Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs: there's a sentence]

[ID: discord message from [binarual + bisexual], reading: Twitter is so good at reading]

[ID: discord message from classically trained drabbler, reading: hahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahhahha no you may quote me on that if you wish]

[ID: discord message from gay for infographics, reading: No and the reason is big number make me happy to put on the infographic]

[ID: Discord message from VOTE FOR TECHNOBLADE, reading: Scar would approve of the fraud]

[ID: discord message, reading: anon: like, do we have... any other plans for when the poll ends? Erotic Mushroom Indoctrination: ...nap? a capricious and willful god: yeah nap classically trained drabbler: an adult beverage (this message has been reacted to ten times with the Clap emoji) undercover weeb: pizza VOTE FOR TECHNOBLADE: Buying discount love candy after work (this message has been reacted to nine times with the elmo fire emoji)]

[ID: discord message from gay for infographics, reading: New nickname thanks to ma sœur! Now if there's ever another mod chat post and I have said a funny thing, my name doesnt have to be censored ahahaha this message has been reacted to four times with the Laugh emoji]

[ID: discord conversation, reading: Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs: I think it either has to be defaults or "recognized sexist skin" and my brain is just too slow to pick out what that means alone, right now fake GeorgeNotFound fan: beautiful typo Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs: oh no]

[ID: discord message from Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs, reading: god bless ren and martyn's open homoeroticism it has been reacted to 3 times with the pushpin emoji]

[ID: discord message from charlie slimecicile enoyer, reading: i think it'd be funny to let the blog collect dust for a few years to recover and then out of nowhere on a completely different, unrelated date, drop a series of polls where the only option for all of them is ethoslab and also one for pix. It has been reacted to 3 times with the 100 emojij]

[ID: discord message from classically trained drabbler, reading: "get your head in the game" is a very normal sportsball phrase that did not originate in high school musical y'all are just loser ners how am i a sports expert here]

[ID: discord message from classically trained drabbler, reading: also voter fraud makes autism brain go brr too good]

[ID: discord message reading: literally who the fuck is joe hills but I AM seriously considering doing it for the bit this has been reacted to with the Handshake emoji three times]

[ID: discord message from Fiendish Bots/Glorious Sideblogs, reading: Just had to explain both tumblr and Minecraft to my doctor]

[reduxulousoctopus]

X-Men '97, Post-Episode 7, ~2500 words Morpherine established relationship, missing scene (unless the show actually does explore what happened during that fight, in which case boy is there egg on my face).

I follow established show canon by referring to Morph as he/him in diegetic works (fanfic and fan art) and they/them in non-diegetic works (my episode analyses and reblogs), because that's the stupidest option and, like Morph, I am also an enby with a terrible sense of humor.

Now come watch me struggle to write two whole lines of dialogue for one of my favorite characters in the series, Beast, because Me Too Stupid to Write Smart Talk Good.

--

“You wanna explain what the hell happened back there?”

Although he considers pretending he didn’t hear the question, Morph reluctantly glances across the center aisle of the Blackbird to see Logan glaring back at him with an expression as hard as the adamantium underneath it. Although it’s a look he’s seen plenty of times before as an innocent bystander, Morph has only been the target of that glare on a handful of occasions. Usually when he’s severely fucked something up. Or when Logan is completely out-of-his-mind, cuckoo-bananas worried about him.

Morph suspects that this time, it’s a little Column A, a little Column B.

A wiser person might realize they were in a hole and stop digging; Morph smirks and asks, “What, the Summers Family Reunion? Well, you see, when a man and the clone of his wife love each other very much…” Morph chuckles. “By the way, this might be a bit creepy to say as one of his honorary uncles, but Baby Nathan grew up to be a serious hottie—emphasis on serious.”

No laugh. Okay, maybe that wasn’t his best material, but not even a lip twitch? Logan must be pissed.

Morph sighs and slouches in his seat. God, he doesn’t want to talk about this right now. Or maybe ever. He can feel his throat literally closing up to stop the words from coming out.

When enough time has passed that what little patience Logan had left in the tap completely runs dry, he goes right for the jugular: “I thought you were dead. Again.”

Morph winces.

“I saw that… ‘Trask Sentinel’ blow your goddamn head off. Then, next thing I know, you’re up and walkin’ around like nothing happened.”

“Not that you’re complaining, right?” Morph asks with a weak attempt at a laugh. “You know what they say about gift horses. Although, you’d think the lesson from the Trojan War would be that you should look gift horses in the mouth.”

From the seat behind him, Morph hears: “Although it’s a common misconception, that phrase actually has nothing to do with the Trojan Horse. The proverbial ‘gift horse’ is a literal, living horse, and to look it in the mouth—”

“With all those books you read,” Logan grumbles, “I thought at least one of them would've taught you it's rude to eavesdrop.”

“It would be difficult not to overhear, given the two of you are speaking quite loudly in a confined space while surrounded by people,” Beast points out. “Have you considered that this perhaps isn’t the best venue for a private conversation?”

“He is a super-genius. We’d better listen to him,” Morph tells Logan. “We’ll talk later, okay big guy?”

The stubborn set of that heavy jaw says Logan knows damn well ‘later’ means ‘never,’ and he isn’t gonna let Morph weasel out of this that easy. “If you ever want me to let you off this plane, you’ll talk now.”

“Let me?” Morph scoffs. He transforms into Quicksilver, puts on his best smug speedster grin, and says, “Just try and stop me, slowpoke.”

To his shock, Logan actually flinches. It’s a subtle thing, Morph might not have even noticed if he didn’t know Logan so well. The cause eludes him, however—until Morph remembers that he looked like Maximoff when the Thrask Sentinel… when everything went dark and quiet for a few seconds.

Funny. There was a time when Morph, blinded by youthful naivety and hero-worship, would have insisted Wolverine wasn’t afraid of anything.

Returning to his default form, Morph mutters out an apology. He tries to imagine what it would be like to see Logan die, only for him to get up a few seconds later and act like nothing happened. With that healing factor of his, they’ve gotten damned close to that exact scenario more than a few times.

How much worse would it feel, if Logan had kept his quick-healing abilities secret and Morph had to find out the hard way?

Morph takes a breath, looks out the window at the black clouds rushing by, and starts from the beginning.

“You know how most of us don’t know we’re mutants until we hit puberty, and our powers manifest? Well… I didn’t have to wait that long. Problem is, since I was just a baby, I had no idea how to control my powers—no more than a normal baby is born knowing how to walk or talk.

He holds out his hands with his palms cupped together to form a shallow, makeshift bowl.

“When I was born, I looked like a wriggling lump of white clay, about yay-big. No arms or legs, no face, no ears, no eyes. Just a mouth that would appear somewhere on my body whenever I was hungry or wanted to cry.”

Whatever Logan was expecting to hear, from the look on his face, it clearly wasn’t that.

“But even at that tender age, someone clearly recognized my star potential. I was only two days old when I made my media debut: Severely Deformed MUTANT Born In Pittsburgh Hospital.” Morph shrugs. “Not the most positive review, I’ll admit, but you know what they say: all publicity is good publicity. After all, that’s how the professor found me.”

Logan’s frown returns, more confused than angry. “You told me you didn’t meet Xavier until you were thirteen—after your mom passed.”

“That’s when I moved to the Institute. Turns out we actually met quite a lot earlier than I remembered, which is pretty embarrassing. Ideally, you don’t want to meet your future high school principal, college instructor, mentor, and world famous civil rights leader while wearing a diaper. Even worse, I was wearing a diaper, too—and I told him, mister, one of us is going to have to go home and change his outfit and it sure isn’t going to be me.”

That gets him a smile and a huff of a laugh, which would be an encouraging sign if he didn’t know how the story ends.

“So Xavier talked to my parents, explained the whole ‘mutant thing.’ Dad wasn’t happy. Then again, I’m not sure he ever was. He would have been disappointed to have a girl—a sentient lump of polymorphic biomass was right out. Thankfully, Xavier was able to use his telepathy to coach me through my very first transformation. He showed me how to turn into a normal baby boy, who would eventually grow up to look like this.”

Morph transforms into his old default, the one he still uses whenever he wants to pass: pale (although not that pale) skin, brown eyes, brown hair, hooked nose, pointed chin, gaunt cheeks, arched brows. Not exactly Fabio, but it’s the face Logan used to know him by—the face he sometimes worries Logan might secretly still prefer.

“Then he put some psychic blocks in place to limit my powers to something a bit more… manageable. Don’t give me that look. It sounds shady, but the professor messing with my head was the only reason I got to have a normal, happy childhood with my parents. God only knows what would have happened otherwise—if I’d even be alive now.”

The worry and suspicion that appeared on Logan’s face at the mention of psychic tampering grudgingly fade away. “When did you find out?” he asks instead.

“A couple months after the professor… y’know,” Morph sighs. “I hacked his personal files. Since he wouldn’t be around anymore to help you recover your memories, I hoped that maybe I could find something small he overlooked, some clue that might give us an idea where to look next.”

Logan’s eyes widen and his mouth goes slightly slack. “Morph…”

“I didn’t find anything, before you get excited. Not about you, anyway. Sure found out a lot about myself, though—a lot more than I was bargaining for.”

“That’s when your default form changed,” Logan realizes.

“Yeah. It was kind of hard to think of this,” Morph replies, gesturing at the face of his human-passing form, “as my ‘real’ face after that. Not that my new look is any more real, of course.”

“Who else knows?”

“Other than our friends listening to this conversation right now?” Morph asks pointedly, causing an entire plane full of X-Men to each make their best attempt at looking busy. Nightcrawler’s method of peering thoughtfully at the radio controls with one hand on his chin is particularly masterful—Logan mentioned he used to perform in a circus, so it’s no wonder he’s got such a good instinct for stage-business. “I told Hank and Moira not long after I found out. Seemed like a bad idea to keep that information from my doctors. Especially when one of them is also my therapist.”

At receiving a glare from Logan, Beast develops a sudden and convenient fascination with the view through the Blackbird’s window.

“But you didn’t want anyone else to know.” Logan could accept that, even if he doesn’t like it. Nothing personal. A man’s business is man's business, after all—even for a not-quite-man like Morph.

Too bad it wouldn’t be the truth; no more ‘real’ than any face that Morph wears.

“I didn’t want you to know.”

Morph can handle Logan’s anger, no problem. That’s almost charming, after all these years. But it’s the flicker of hurt, just like that little flinch earlier, that really cuts him to the quick.

“Not because I don’t trust you, or want to keep things from you or anything, it’s just… I didn’t—I couldn’t—”

He sighs and looks away again. He transforms back into his new default: smooth white skin, mask-like face. Obviously inhuman.

Still a lot more human than he looked when he was born, though.

“So, yeah. That’s why I’ve apparently gained the ability to survive having my head blown off. It sure would have been handy to know that my organs were optional the last time a Sentinel put me down. Now, instead of being out of commission for two years I’ll never get back, I can just squish myself back together and keep on keepin’ on.”

Logan doesn’t respond, and slowly, the mutter of other conversations step in to fill the void. Morph stares at nothing, sick with nerves. It’s deeply unfair that he can still feel nauseous even though he doesn’t have a stomach anymore.

He would say it’s all in his head, but if he can survive without one, maybe he doesn’t have a brain, either.

Badum-tch.

Good line. Hopefully he’ll remember it after the existential horror wears off, in the brief window when things will be funny again before the heartbreak sinks in.

Because there’s dropping a bombshell on a relationship—then there’s dropping a fucking nuke.

Oh God. There isn’t going to be a window, is there?

“Morph. Look at me.”

Although he considers pretending he didn’t hear the command, Morph reluctantly glances across the center aisle of the Blackbird to see Logan looking back at him with an expression as soft as the heart he usually tries to hide.

“No matter what you look like, there’s one thing you’ve never been able to change,” Logan tells him. “That’s real enough for me.”

A wiser person might realize they were in a hole and stop digging; Morph can’t stop himself from opening his big stupid mouth. No wonder that was the one feature even Baby Morph knew to give himself. “There are more blocks Xavier left behind that I haven’t pushed through, yet. Maybe I’ll even figure out how to change my scent, someday.”

From the look on his face, Logan clearly hadn’t considered that possibility. Morph immediately wishes he could take it back, feeling like he’s just tarnished something sacred.

It’s always been strangely intimate, the way Logan can recognize him by scent alone. Even from the beginning, when Morph decided to pull a prank on the grumpy new recruit, only for Wolverine to sniff him out mere seconds into his planned routine—it was as if, like the Emperor’s New Clothes, he suddenly realized he had been naked the entire time.

Another, smarter shapeshifter might have avoided Logan after that; Morph couldn’t get enough.

One-sided pestering turned into an unlikely friendship, turned into friends-with-benefits, turned into… whatever they have now. That which dares not speak its name.

The thought of losing that connection, the idea that someday he may be able to change himself so thoroughly that even Logan won’t be able to recognize him anymore… It’s too awful. Cursed knowledge. Like learning about the solar cycle when he was a kid, and suddenly having the horrible realization: if even the sun is going to die someday, what makes him so sure Mom will get better?

Out of the corner of his eye, Morph sees Logan’s hand start to move, stop, then start again, reaching across the aisle towards him. For a insane, terrifying moment, he thinks Logan’s about to hold his hand, outing them in front of God, the other X-Men, and everybody—but of course, that enormous, rough mitt lands on his shoulder instead. Perfectly platonic, approved for all audiences by S&P.

Though they’re shooting through the air at supersonic speed, under the heavy weight of that hand, Morph feels rooted to stable ground. He closes his eyes and takes a few slow breaths he doesn’t actually need, with lungs he only has when he remembers to make himself some.

If there are any people left when the sun finally burns out in a few billion years, they’ll still be telling each other jokes as they go into that endless good night. Just think of the money we’ll save on sunscreen. Maybe, but you know the light-bulb companies are gonna take us to the cleaners. Ha ha, freeze frame, theme song, end credits.

Even as her body slowly wasted away under the combined onslaught of cancer and chemo, Mom always laughed at his jokes, no matter how many times she heard the one about the chicken who crossed the road. His most appreciative audience, to the very last curtain call.

The world is pretty fucking scary right now, and only getting scarier. Sinister. Genosha. Losing Gambit. Sentinels again, in all new and even more monstrous forms. Even worse: total war between humans and mutants looming over the horizon, shaking the ground with each step, getting closer and more inevitable every time someone mentions it, like a demon whose power grows every time you says its name.

But just because things are scary doesn’t mean the world's turning into a horror movie, and just because things are sad doesn’t make it a tragedy. Everyone gets to choose the genre of their life story—and Morph will always pick comedy.

He gives the hand on his shoulder a friendly pat, and uses the motion to disguise a slightly more-than-friendly squeeze. “I’m alright, just a little airsick. I think it’s making me maudlin.”

As he pulls his hand back, Logan frowns a little in confusion—he knows Morph is experienced enough in the air that he shouldn’t be getting nauseous over what are, for the Blackbird, barely above pleasure-cruise speeds.

“How unfair is that, by the way?” Morph asks. “I don’t even have a stomach right now.”

Logan chuckles. Nah, baby, don’t give it up for me that easy, Morph thinks, fighting a grin. You gotta make me work for it a little…

He needn’t have worried, though. When he does make it to the punchline, Logan laughs so hard that he snorts, the laugh-lines Morph has personally carved into that seemingly indestructible face creasing and growing deeper still. And as their friends who Definitely Weren’t Eavesdropping join in—even Rogue, so teary and congested that her laughs would sound like sobs if she wasn’t smiling—Morph knows all their attempts to hide their relationship have been for nothing, because there’s no way that all the love he feels for Logan in that moment isn’t writ large all over whichever face he's wearing right now.

That’s real enough for him.

[probablyasocialecologist]

To bring about its hypothetical future, OpenAI must build a new digital ecosystem, pushing users toward the ChatGPT app or toward preëxisting products that integrate its technology such as Bing, the search engine run by OpenAI’s major investor, Microsoft. Google, by contrast, already controls the technology that undergirds many of our online experiences, from search and e-mail to Android smartphone-operating systems. At its conference, the company showed how it plans to make A.I. central to all of the above. Some Google searches now yield A.I.-generated “Overview” summaries, which appear in tinted boxes above any links to external Web sites. Liz Reid, Google’s head of search, described the generated results with the ominously tautological tagline “Google will do the Googling for you.” (The company envisions that you will rely on the same search mechanism to trawl your own digital archive, using its Gemini assistant to, say, pull up photos of your child swimming over the years or summarize e-mail threads in your in-box.) Nilay Patel, the editor-in-chief of the tech publication the Verge, has been using the phrase “Google Zero” to describe the point at which Google will stop driving any traffic to external Web sites and answer every query on its own with A.I. The recent presentations made clear that such a point is rapidly approaching. One of Google’s demonstrations showed a user asking the A.I. a question about a YouTube video on pickleball: “What is the two-bounce rule?” The A.I. then extracted the answer from the footage and displayed the answer in writing, thus allowing the user to avoid watching either the video or any advertising that would have provided revenue to its creator. When I Google “how to decorate a bathroom with no windows” (my personal litmus test for A.I. creativity), I am now presented with an Overview that looks a lot like an authoritative blog post, theoretically obviating my need to interact directly with any content authored by a human being. Google Search was once seen as the best path for getting to what’s on the Web. Now, ironically, its goal is to avoid sending us anywhere. The only way to use the search function without seeing A.I.-generated content is to click a small “More” tab and select “Web” search. Then Google will do what it was always supposed to do: crawl the Internet looking for URLs that are relevant to your queries, and then display them to you. The Internet is still out there, it’s just increasingly hard to find. If A.I. is to be our primary guide to the world’s information, if it is to be our 24/7 assistant-librarian-companion as the tech companies propose, then it must constantly be adding new information to its data sets. That information cannot be generated by A.I., because A.I. tools are not capable of even one iota of original thought or analysis, nor can they report live from the field. (An information model that is continuously updated, using human labor, to inform us about what’s going on right now—we might call it a newspaper.) For a decade or more, social media was a great way to motivate billions of human beings to constantly upload new information to the Internet. Users were driven by the possibilities of fame and profit and mundane connection. Many media companies were motivated by the possibility of selling digital ads, often with Google itself as a middle man. In the A.I. era, in which Google can simply digest a segment of your post or video and serve it up to a viewer, perhaps not even acknowledging you as the original author, those incentives for creating and sharing disappear. In other words, Google and OpenAI seem poised to cause the erosion of the very ecosystem their tools depend on.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for writing a fake crush note to a homophobe?

So for starters, I AM gay, just not in that direction, and I definitely am not attracted to him

So there's this guy at my school that's very homophobic. Which isn't wholly surprising given that we're in a red state, but still sucks. His phrasing of things is often very uncomfortable, like he'll ask you if you "agree with LGBT" which is just- tf?? He's also the guy that sent a link to a pinterest post about Dumbledore being gay (yes, THAT Dumbledore) with the caption "my day is now ruined :(" so yeah I'm not too fond of him. He was also emotionally manipulative towards one of my close friends, something I'm not going to get into here bc that's her business but needless to say the guy sucks. We'll refer to him as Homophobe.

Thing is, dude gives off really strong bi vibes. Not entirely sure what it is about him, but until he started being openly homophobic I was certain he was bi. Quite a few of my other queer friends agreed when I casually mentioned this.

So we all hate Homophobe for a variety of reasons, right? And we were having a discussion about him for whatever reason, and we had the idea to write an anonymous note mentioning that he feels very bi bc his reaction would be funny. Stick it on his locker between periods and yeah. But because of our extreme dislike towards him, it pretty quickly devolved into How Can We Fuck Up This Guy's Life Without Being Too Mean.

Someone proposed the idea of writing it as a gay kid that has a crush on him, mentioning that multiple people have agreed that Homophobe seems very bisexual. I was voted to be the person that writes the note, as I'm the best at writing in different handwritings and having it look natural. So the note's been written. It doesn't say who it's from, just that the imaginary kid shares a class with him, likes him, and asks Homophobe to leave a note in a certain location if he likes him back.

And just- I dunno, I was on board with this idea at first but I'm starting to have more doubts about this. Is this a dick move?

What are these acronyms?

[twogeeseinatrenchcoat]

Humans Aren't That Scary

So, I've been seeing a lot of posts describing humans as these strong species, with terrifying adaptations. I'd like to join this bandwagon, and that's not the right phrase for what I'm doing but it's good enough!

I think that humans would be in the middle-range in terms of strength. I think yes, we would have adaptations that the aliens wouldn't. But I also think that they would have adaptations that we wouldn't. It would balance out, and if you look at humans currently, using us now as an example, we don't seem that scary. I do think that we could be seen as unpredictably violent, and that could lead to fear, but I don't think anyone would view us as scary due to strength.

Then again, I could be entirely wrong. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking. Humans really do love war. So maybe, as a species, I could understand others being afraid of us. But individually, possibly not. We have no (natural) tools to defend ourselves with. We're not very fast. We're not that strong, unless we train to be strong.

In terms of weapons, it is slightly odd to assume that alien species wouldn't have equal, or more advanced weapons than we do. Our spaceships aren't streamlined, our energy isn't efficient, etc.

I am jumping on the funny theory that humans are the weirdos of the universe, mainly because it's funny. I think if anything, we would be seen as odd, and potentially frightening for that reason. Humans (from what I've seen) are bullshitters. We are the funny people. We are the ones who will share an inside joke between the world. (Looking at you, Rick Astley)

But then again, maybe this is normal. Maybe humans are just another species, nothing remarkable. Maybe our quirks and weird things are normal things that happen in every species. Maybe we aren't all that scary, our weapons aren't that special, and we aren't as bloodthirsty or warmongering as we may think.

On that note, I'd like to dispose of everything I just said and say that anything is highly dependent on the other species. If they're less advanced than us, they've evolved from prey species instead of predator species, have adaptations for survival from predators instead of survival for killing prey, then yes, maybe we are terrifying. If nobody knows how to adapt to *our* adaptations, then maybe we are absolutely scary and strong and could destroy anyone in combat. It all depends on the other species, and how they've evolved.

As a final note, I'm writing this at 2 am after around two hours of scrolling through the space Australia tag. Don't take any of this seriously. I know nothing about anything, I am rambling about this.