#like i never even looked at 95% of these they are just wasting money

[caer-gai]

Why the FUCK did I receive 100 emails a day in December 2023??

[hexcrystals]

love how you asked for evidence and they went 'here's my conspiricy theory I made up based on something that was blown out of proportion' lol

Im sick of hearing about that damn letter. Im willing to bet money that 95% of them were told its just about freeing hostages and they said yea ok. Obv thats not good, they should've done actual research. But they live in another reality than us and they're prob not up to date of every single world issue. And they probably got screamed at by their Pr teams lol

None of the people who keep yapping about it give a sh*t about Palestine. They're just giddy at having a morally right reason to shit on certain people. Which considering this is a literal genocide is really gross.

literally people just want to prove they're the most morally pure

posting callouts for taika waititi, a complete stranger i have never met, about something he didn't even fucking do, on my fandom blog, where like 3 people will see the post, is a complete and utter waste of everybody's time. the only purpose it serves is to make it look like i'm doing something, which is obviously way less important than. you know, Actually doing something

i wish they'd channel their energy into contacting their elected officials or going on a protest or doing literally anything else that's going to be more useful than yelling at people on tumblr who haven't done enough performative bullshit for them

[itsclydebitches]

Nitpick November

Okay, this is an ancient nitpick now and I’m like 95% sure I already ranted wrote about it in a previous year, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Why oh why didn’t we learn what Ruby bought at the gift shop?

This is a fantastic, lighthearted moment in an otherwise depressing Volume! It shows off the characters’ personalities in a natural way, helping to distinguish what will quickly become a fairly homogenous group! Ruby is spending her money (Qrow’s money?) buying gifts for her teammates. Weiss thinks it’s all a waste of time (getting annoyed over inconsequential dolt stuff to hide how anxious she is about returning to Atlas). Yang is actually acting like a sister, getting playfully mad that Ruby won’t say what she got her and making a grab for the bag. “You’ll have to wait and see~”

Except Yang - and the audience - never get to find out what Ruby chose for her. It’s like a domestic Chekhov’s gun, but the included element is actually inconsequential. You wanted the story to follow up on a question it posed, one another character expressed enthusiastic interest in? Lol don’t be ridiculous.

The fact that RWBYOQ seem to have lost all their luggage (except the bike) and never comment on that is downright weird to me. Yang rants about gaining a “defenseless old lady,” but not that they presumably lost whatever was in the 9+ bags they were traveling with.

Which, given that they expected to have a nice, leisurely, day long ride into Argus on an otherwise dangerous quest, most likely includes things like dust and weapons supplies. You know, the important stuff a huntress would miss when suddenly stranded in hostile territory.

Give us a bonding moment where Ruby tells Yang what her gift was in an effort to cheer her up. Add tension to their travels by limiting the means with which they have to defend themselves. Hell, give a meh, but technically believable line about how gee golly gosh, we sure are glad everything we were traveling with was up front with JNR. I’m sure they’ll have it all unpacked at whatever safe house we’re heading towards. Oh look, there we go. Here’s your gift, Yang!

As always, the most annoying part is that RWBY’s nitpicks are, often, not actually nitpicks. The show forgot Ruby’s shopping spree in the Argus train station. Okay, big deal. Problem is, the show forgot everything else that happened in the station too.

Like the letter Qrow sent to Ironwood, the one that goes a long way towards explaining his increase in security (among every other justification) and providing the group with a means of entering Atlas if they just show a little patience. It would be real silly for our conflicts to revolve around entering the city + the group’s cliff-hanger shock at Ironwood defending his Kingdom + then seguing into total suspicion of the general when Qrow started the Volume with a letter that boiled down to “Things are awful and if you get this first, oopsies, things likely got worse and you’re on your own.”

Or, a revision:

“Dear James,

Things are really fucking bad right now! Worse even than you’re hearing and definitely worse than is safe to say over mail. So we’re coming to you. Trains are faster than letters, so if you get this first then, uh, something bad probably happened to us? Like, I don’t know, we got stranded in the woods with apathy-inducing grimm. Or something. Just tell your people to be on the lookout for wandering huntsmen because you’re smart enough to realize that getting this letter before we show up is a #BadSign.

You and I, we’ve had a playfully antagonistic, but ultimately respectful relationship over the years, which is why I’m warning you ahead of time. I look forward to resuming our partnership. I definitely don’t plan to become so randomly suspicious of you that I try to live in Atlas as a fugitive, then return your hug, then lie to you for weeks, then trust you again, then decide you need to die for my own stupidity. That would be wild, right?

See you soon!

Love,

Qrow

P.S. I bet Ruby bought you something at the gift shop. She’s a nice kid and would definitely want to thank the guy who gave her beloved sister a state-of-the-art arm, helping to bring her out of the depression that Ruby then had intense guilt over leaving her in to hunt a power-hungry murderer. Something to look forward to!”

[danielxricciardo]

Prompts

1. "Hi, my ex just walked in. Would you hold my hand please?"

2. "I didn't expect to see you here."

3. "Have you seen this dog?"

4. “That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise”

5. “Seven minutes in heaven is for virgin teenagers”

6. “Slam that door one more time and I’ll shove my foot straight up your cute ass”

7. “Jesus! Knock next time would you”

8. “You have money go and get yourself a hoodie that’s not mine”

9. "I hate roses, I thought you knew"

10. "Do you think I am an angel? Ha"

11. "I wanted to sleep but someone decided to die"

12. "I can kill you right now, what are you talking about?"

13. "Hi, I am lost, can you come after me?"

14. "When I first saw you I wanted to date your best friend"

15. "I am so funny and you are just jealous"

16. "If I have to choose... no"

17. "Stop breathing like that!"

18. "I just did my nails"

19. "I'm the best driver în the world"

20. "Will you marry me?" "No"

21. "I think I broke my arm" "So?"

22. "I think I love you" "Thanks"

23. "My arms are lonely, don't you think?"

24. "Apparently we are dating"

25. “Well it’s kind of hard to move when you’re sitting on my lap”

26. "Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?"

27. "If we elope, you think they'll kill us?"

28. "This is yours"

29. "You can’t just kiss me, laugh and then walk away."

30. "Are you using ass as a pillow?"

31." I find your lack of faith disturbing."

32. "And I took it personally"

33. "In here I am the boss"

34. "Oh, bite me!" "Where?"

35. "What will you do if we break up?"

36. "Where is my T-shit?"

37. "This is no time for sarcastic comments."  "There is always time for sarcastic comments."

38. "I’ll keep quiet, you won’t even know I’m here."

39. "The way you flirt is just awful"

40. "Don’t be fooled. I’m the epitome of mess."

41. " If you are on TV should I congratulate you?"

42. "And this, is why we can’t have nice things."

43. "That's what he said"

44. "I am scared of your boss"

45. "You should know, a lot of girls have a crush on me"

46. "Everyone is afraid of you"

47. "If I'm watching that movie one more time I'll lose my fucking mind!"

48. "I thought being on vacation will be stress free"

49. "My parents don't trust you"

50. "I don't think I should give my last name so easily"

51. “I really wish I could unsee that.”

52. “Who would’ve guessed we’d be sharing a room.”

53. “I feel like you have an unhealthy obsession with me.”

54. “Nah he’s fine, it’s the other one you really got to watch out for.”

55. “I have a suggestion.” “I’m not taking my clothes off so forget it.”

56. “You’re the genius, why don’t you tell me?”

57. “Have I ever told you your accent makes me swoon?” “Really?” “No.” He/she smiles. “ that’s why I’ve never told you.”

58. “I’m alive? How am I still alive?”

59. “You’re crazy! I love it!”

60. “Never have I ever is about to get a lot more interesting.”

61. “What did they do?” “Dude. They did the do.”

62. "You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!"

63. "Well this is awkward."

64. "Im too sober for this."

65. "Im pregnant." "Wall done, Virgin Mary!"

66. " I want to protect you."

67. "Kill that spider and maybe I'll forgive you"

68. "I have no one to go to the wedding"

69. "Don’t you dare touch _______!"

70. "I thought you were dead!"

71. "This is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in."

72. "Take care of you, please"

73. "If your best friend single?"

74. "Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English."

75. "Why does everyone assume we're a couple?"

76. "Im craving something sweet" "Are you pregnant or something?"

77. " What is the magic word?" "I'll kill you în your sleep"

78. "When I see you my knees get weak"

79. "Finally you're single. Can I take you on a date?"

80. " So, I guess you don’t do after hours?"

81. "I know what I'm doing, I've watched two whole seasons of Grey's Anatomy."

82. "I can't believe I'm stuck here with you right now."

83. "Okay, this did not go as I planned it in the shower."

84. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you destroy yourself."

85. "You were my best friend"

86. "You did what?"

87. "Can you just pretend to love me for a second!"

88. "You are enough"

89. "Take the shirt off"

90. "Your nickname is bitch"

91. "What do you want to watch?" "You"

92. "How could you ask me that?"

93. "Your mouth does this thing and I can't resist it"

94. "Are you allowed to drink?"

95. "I said Im done, leave me alone!"

96. "Don’t raise your fucking voice at me”

97. “Yeah, I remember the drill”

98. “Tell me again, slowly this time, why that dog is in my bed.”

99. “Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough.”

100. “You and me, we were destined to fall apart.”

101. “No, you don’t know who you are until somebody breaks your heart.”

102. “I want to tell you everything. The words I never got to say the first time around.”

103. “It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.”

Song lyrics prompts

1. “It’s the little things about us, that I love so much.”

2. “Last night I told you I loved you // woke up blamed it on the vodka”

3. “It’s a better place since you came along”

4. “You make me love the things I hate  “

5. Just a paper sheet and half a cigarette are left in my hand

6. Your faith walks on broken glass

7. "And can you teach me how to dance real slow?"

8. "I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe"

9. "One night, you won't forget the rest of your life"

10. "We only said goodbye with words"

11. "I'll try to give you love until the day you drop"

12. "I like the pretty boys with the bow tie"

13. "Lets get drunk forget what we did"

14. Your kisses lift me higher

15. When you're ready we can share the wine

16. "And if you don't love me now you will never love me again"

17. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"

18. "When there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove"

19. She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining, just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling.

20. Now I understand, you're a human, and you got to lie, you're a man

21. The good and the bad times: we've been through them all.

22. Now I ain't educated but I sure ain't stupid

23. I grew up in the shoes they told me I could fill

24. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

25. A lover would just complicate my plans

26. And in the morning, i’ll be with you, but it will be a different kind

27. My heart is yours, it’s you that i hold on to

28. And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty years

29. I let go of my claim on you, it’s a free world

30. I’m in my bed, and you’re not here and there’s no one to blame, but the drink in my wandering hands

31. Cause you gave me peace and i wasted it, I’m here to admit that you were my medicine

32. Oh, dear diary, i met a boy, he made my doll heart light up with joy. Oh, dear diary, we fell apart, welcome to the life of electra heart

33. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind

34. Is it really me you're missing?

35. Remember that night?

36. How many times can I break till I shatter?

37. As long as I breathe, I’ll call you my home

38. "You wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest."

39. "When we scream our lips don't make a sound."

40. "Please don't let me sink, wrap your arms around me and carry me home."

41. "This hasn't torn us apart so nothing ever will."

42. "A long time ago we believed that we were united."

43. "I miss the person that you were but I don't miss you."

44. "If home is where the heart is, why do I feel so fucking heartless?"

45. "I can't live, I can't breathe with or without you just go away."

46. "I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll survive and have to watch you suffer."

47. "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away."

48. "I'm not like you I just fuck up."

49. "All because of you I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos. The kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place."

50. "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again."

51. “I wish people liked me more.”

52. “How could I ever love someone else?”

53. “I guess you’re getting everything you want.”

54. “She probably gives you butterflies.”

55. “I hope that you’re okay.”

56. “I defended you to all my friends.”

57. “I never cared about what they say, only care about me and you” 

58. “Either way i’m gonna lose, so i’m just gonna keep on loving you”

59. “You know i’m bad at communication, it’s the hardest thing for me to do”

60. “Iwas your lover, i was your friend, now I’m only just someone you call when it’s late enough to forget”

61. “It’s fucked up but it’s true that i love you like i do”

62. “Well we both had nights waking up in strangers beds but i don’t wanna, don't wanna, i don’t wanna give up yet”

63. “Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow.”

64. “I’m begging for you to take my hand.”

65. “I can’t make it go away by making you the villain.”

66. “He feels like home.”

67. “I’d be breaking all my rules to see you.”

68. “But I know you’re not scared of anything at all.”

69. “When can I come back?”

70. “I’m ready to owe you anything”

71. “I’ll always look best in your head”

72. “I know you know it’s wrong, but I’m ready”

73. “All I ever want is breaking me apart.”

74. “Let's talk sweetly like all our love is false.”

75. “You put a fire in my heart, painted blood on my stars, gave me faith.”

76. “I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice.”

77. “How is kissing me so wrong?“

78. “Can’t you see that I’m already yours?”

79. “I’ve been losing track of the romantic sh*t I’m tryna say but basically I love you"

80. “I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”

81. “I apologize for all your tears, I wish I could be different but I’m still growing up into the one you can call your love” 

82. “I’m out of my head, of my heart, of my mind cause you can run but you can’t hide, I’m gonna make you mine”

83. "I never loved someone the way that I love you"

84. "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you"

85. "I hope she gettin' better sex, hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe"

86. “I know we’re young and people change and we may never feel the same”

87. “I can’t change the world, but maybe I’ll change your mind”

88. "You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."

89. "Leave everything that is worth a single cent and just take me instead."

90. "And then I got you off your knees, put you right back on your feet, just so you can take advantage of me."

91. "Hey, I can't let you go with nobody. Cause I love you, baby."

92. "Tell me that it wasn't my fault and that I was enough for you."

93. "We were good at faking forever, I get it, whatever."

94. "Cause you had your chance and you blew it. Yeah, you ripped it up and you chewed it."

95. "Well, I'm too busy for your business. Go find a girl who wants to listen."

96. "Stop looking at me with those eyes, like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why."

97. "Oh, we could do whatever you want, but boy, don't go falling in love, you can't stay with me, all you'll ever have is one day with me"

98. "I pray the medication slow me down, but that shit doesn't work when you're around"

99. "Told her that I loved her once and now she'd kill for me"

100. "What the tell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends"

Who I write for

Formula 1

Daniel Ricciardo

Lewis Hamilton

Max Verstappen

Charles Leclerc

Esteban Ocon

Carlos Sainz

Lando Norris

Lance Stroll

Sebastian Vettel

Mick Schumacher

Pierre Gasly

George Russel

Football

Erling Haaland

Jadon Sancho

Giovanni Reyna

Jude Bellingham

Julian Brandt

Marco Reus

Roman Bürki

Emre Can

Mats Hummels

Leon Goretzka

Joshua Kimmich

Kai Havertz

Mason Mount

Christian Pulisici

Ben Chilwell

Gerard Pique 

João Félix

Ianis Hagi

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain

Trent Alexander-Arnold

Virgil van Dijk

Jens Petter Hauge

Martin Ødegaard

Alexander Sørloth

[saebyeog-i]

soft | njm (m)

genre | office romance au / slight humor, smut lol

rating/warnings | stream of consciousness bs / alcohol consumption / semi public sex {oral, m receiving; mentions of breathplay} / slightly unedited whoops

word count | drabble! 2.1k because I don’t know how to shut up

pairing | IT Worker!Jaemin x reader

—

When you start your new job, you realize pretty quickly that Jaemin from IT wears sweaters all the time in the office. Even in the summer. Even when it’s 95 degrees outside, because he gets cold easily and they always blast the AC too much indoors.

He’s a very soft and unassuming character, and he’s the youngest person on his team by at least ten years, and during your first meeting when he’s getting your work station set up in your office he tells you he just likes that he gets paid to play around with computers all day and that’s why he keeps the job.

“Couldn’t you be a software engineer or something? Make far more money and not have to answer dumb computer questions all the time?” You ask offhandedly, and then realize you’ve insinuated that he’s paid poorly. You attempt to back pedal your statement, but he’s not the least bit offended.

He chuckles, eyes crinkling and he shakes his head. “I get paid plenty well for this job, and besides, I never have any tight deadlines or work overtime. I don’t exactly dream of extra and strenuous labor.”

He wears sweaters that are two sizes too big for him, made up of bright obnoxious colors and gaudy patterns that would usually make you fake vomit at seeing them on a real life human. But he makes them look charming, somehow. Grandpa sweaters, you call them, even to his face, with patterns that just make you gag. Never a sweater vest, mind you, only ever a full pull over knit sweater, with the occasional cardigan over a long sleeve turtleneck. Over time, you see a variety of patterns and colors, and you think he must have an endless supply of them.

You’re not bad with computers by any means, but you do like to bat your eyelashes and have other people do things for you when you can. You’re admittedly a little bit lazy, not stupid, and besides, he’s much faster at fixing any issues than you are, why waste time trying to figure it out yourself?

You think it’s cute, the way he smiles with his eyes and chuckles quietly whenever he comes to your office to fulfill a help desk ticket. You like the way he smiles at you and the way he’ll compliment your outfits, how soft and unassuming his words always are, and never cringe worthy like that older man in marketing who thinks he’s being nice but is in fact just being slightly creepy. When you tell your roommate about Jaemin from IT complimenting your new dress in the kitchen as you made your morning coffee, she asks if you have a thing for him because of how often you bring him up in your stories from work.

“Oh, no, definitely not— he’s soft, but a little too soft, you know? Need me a bit of a freak, someone who wouldn’t be opposed to like, I dunno, choking me if I said I was into that,” you sigh, trying to imagine the soft and pixie-like Jaemin from IT with his hands around your neck. It doesn’t compute. “Besides, I think he puts like, eight shots of espresso in his coffee, his cum probably tastes like battery acid,” you sigh into your yogurt as your roommate crinkles her nose one morning before you both depart for work. You move on from the brief idea, and think you’ll stick to just enjoying sweet and innocent Jaemin that wears oversizes sweaters from afar instead.

On anyone else, the fashion sense would be annoying.

But not on Jaemin.

He’s soft and squishy and kind of adorable with the way he scrunches up his nose when he laughs, and the endearing way he explains to the older company employees how to run the Microsoft Office automatic software updates to get the latest version of Excel and PowerPoint. He does his best to teach them how to do it on their own to give them a sense of accomplishment and understanding of the technology they rely on but seem to have no hope at operating beyond the basic level needed for their jobs (but still doing it for them anyways, with patience and a smile and never a complaint).

It’s an attractive quality, you have to admit, and if he wasn’t the walking embodiment of marshmallow fluff you’d think more about him. But he is, so you don’t, and instead sigh out loud as you watch him huff and blow the fluffy bangs out of his eyes as he’s crouched under your desk, re-running the wires for your office phone.

You’ve always had a bad habit of mumbling your thoughts out loud when you’re distracted, and sometimes he’ll catch you cursing out the equipment or your supervisors for not knowing the difference between something you’d deem as basic for your department or field. He finds it charming, thinks it makes you more candid and honest and it’s a different side of you than the one who bats her eyelashes and files help desk tickets when she could easily do something herself. You’re taken aback by this comment, because you didn’t count him for someone that would keep track of something like that, which you admit to him in slight disbelief.

“Oh believe me, I’m more observant than you think I am,” he chimes mysteriously as his fingers glide across your keyboard, entering his admin password to run another round of program installations and software upgrades.

You don’t think much of it when he’s the only person who fulfills your tickets for six months straight.

Not until the holiday party, anyways.

At the holiday party, it’s an open bar and everyone is dressed UP up. You expect to see Jaemin in another grandpa print sweater two sizes too big for him— that is, if the soft boy shows at all. Company holiday parties like this don’t scream ‘Jaemin from IT’ at you, given that from what your more seasoned coworkers have told you about years past, after tonight you can expect at least one person to end up suspended or fired for behavior; that and the Company President gives everyone an Uber code for a free ride home since they already know how absolutely wasted everyone plans on getting.

To your surprise, Jaemin from IT does in fact show up at the holiday party. You spot him as soon as he enters, about an hour into the party itself, and he slips into the crowd and makes his way to the bar. You were expecting a tacky Christmas sweater on him, but instead, he’s dressed in the exact opposite.

Instead, he’s got his hair styled up (a first, and you never realized how badly you wanted to see his forehead before) and instead of a gaudy array of colors and patterns, he’s wearing a nicely tailored suit in a rich wine color with a black button down underneath.

When he waves from across the room and approaches you just to be friendly and say hi, you’re definitely caught off guard enough that you don’t realize you’ve mumbled out “How is that fair? How can he look like THAT outside of a sweater and then not let me just suck his dick right here?”

Jaemin blinks for a moment, taken by surprise, when he realizes it’s that same candid habit of yours and you haven’t realized you’ve said it out loud. His mouth curls into a smile and he presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek and gets nice and close, close enough to flirtatiously whisper “Well if you insist, though I’m sure we could find somewhere a bit more... private.”

And then you’re so caught off guard by confident sexy suit wearing Jaemin you think he’s read your mind for until you realize what you said out loud. But he’s into the idea given the fact that he doesn’t run in fear from your words and fuck it, so are you, and he’s not just cute and squishy anymore he’s fucking hot in that suit and with his dark hair styled just so, so you feel flirty and courageous when you say “You know I think I like the suit over the grandpa sweaters, but I think I’d like the suit even better on the floor.”

After the way his mouth ticks upward in a smile, the movements are all a blur that you can’t quite separate out into discrete events: downing you drink, linking hands with him, scurrying off towards the single occupancy restroom furthest from the dance floor and bolting the lock so you can be sure as shit that when your lips crash against his and then your knees hit the floor there will be no interruptions.

“Funny,” you say, trailing kisses down his throat after a moment, “Never thought I’d see you as anything but soft.” The admittance and double entendre are entirely intentional and you know that he knows.

“Seems like now’s a good as time as any to pay back all those superfluous ticket requests,” he breaths out, and your lips curl into a grin as your fingers find their way to his belt and tug his dress pants down.

“If you insist,” you tease back his words from earlier, sinking to your knees all too happily.

You take him into your mouth easily, relishing in the groans and shaky exhales that comes from his perfect lips as his fingers thread through your hair and his grip tightens. A fire deep in your belly ignites at the noises, enjoying how easily you can make the man you thought so soft and unassuming fall apart at just a run of your tongue and a hollowing of your cheeks.

“Fucking shit don’t do that unless—”

He’s cut off by his own groan as you run your tongue along his slit once before taking him as afar back in your throat as you can manage, then he’s cumming in your mouth with a high pitched shaky whine.

When he’s finished, you make an obscene show of his cum in your mouth for him and curl your tongue back as you swallow, wiping away the excess saliva with the heel of your palm. “Pay back enough?” You ask surreptitiously as you rise back to your feet, dusting off the skirt of your cocktail dress.

Jaemin from IT digs his fingers into your hips and pulls you close to him, a growl deep in the back of his throat before his lips clash against yours, “All that and then some.”

His fingers link with yours after as he hurriedly drags you from the bathroom to the exit of the venue, waving haphazardly at his team members before launching the ride share app and tapping in the provided code for that free ride. “I meant it when I said your wardrobe is both flattering and professional,” he hums, “But out of respect for your sense of style, I’ll refrain from tearing any garment off of you and provide a hangar for it instead. Deal?”

The words are so forward and presumptuous. You can’t help but feel a little turned on by the action, however, and find yourself scoffing as you smile and stick a hand out for him to shake, “Deal.”

So even though you’d maybe been hoping to get a bit more free alcohol out of the company holiday party, you’re celebrating some much better company some thirty, forty minutes later, once you’re out of the car and your bare back is pressed against the locked front door of his apartment as Jaemin from IT fucks into you in a way that is the absolute opposite from soft, just as he’d promised. And when you’d moaned it out and asked, he happily agreed to (delicately, tenderly) lay his hand on your throat and apply pressure.

Your expensive cocktail dress rests on a hanger on the coat rack in his living room, just like he’d promised. You don’t put it back on until the following afternoon. And then again a year later, when you enter the company holiday party arm in arm with Jaemin from IT— Na Jaemin, you’d finally learned and committed to memory his last name after that first night, who was now your boyfriend.

“You know I didn’t take you for an outfit repeater,” he teases, this year arriving on time (at your behest) and wearing an all black suit save for the glittering of the jeweled pinstripes on his jacket.

You roll your eyes and tug him towards you by his neck tie. “Who’s fault is it that not enough people got to appreciate this dress last year, hm?”

He looks up in thought playfully for a moment before answering, “The sweaters?”

You press another kiss to his lips, this one a little less aggressively and a little bit softer (like you liked him, you’d come to find out) and reply, “Yeah, definitely the sweaters.”

—

author’s note | I originally wrote this in my dm’s to Clover half asleep at 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday and she told me she’d sue if I didn’t post it, so, here, lol have the expanded version that I wrote after chugging a glass of Reisling and a shot of Jameson at 10pm last night.

[palettes-and-prompts]

100 Whump Dialogue Prompts

1) "No one is coming to help you." 2) "Your screams are music to my ears." 3) "Keep your eyes open, I really want you to watch what I'm about to do to your little friend here." 4) "Does it kill you? Knowing that you can't do anything to stop me?" 5) "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you just yet." 6) "You were always too soft, never could stand up for yourself." 7) "Where's your hero now when you need them the most? I don't see them." 8) "Do you really think they could ever love you?" 9) "Look at you now, you're pathetic. You're weak." 10) "I don't want to rush this, I've been waiting a long time for this moment so I want to be able to take my time with you." 11) "But they told me they loved me." "Aww, sweetheart, they were lying, I'm the only one who could ever love you." 12) "I never wanted to hurt people! I didn't want this life! You made me a monster." 13) "I didn't make you a monster, you were just born that way." 14) "Hope you're not too attached to that hand." 15) "You killed them, you bury them." 16) "You made me hurt them." "I didn't make you do anything you didn't want to do." 17) "Do as you're told or you're going to make me angry." 18) "Don't ever say that name in front of me again, do you understand?" 19) "I only do these things because I love you, you know that right? I don't want to hurt you, but you just make me so angry sometimes." 20) "Don't take me back there! Please, I can't go back there. They're there." 21) "If I tell you what they made me do you wont be able to look at me the same." 22) "Let them go. I did everything you asked me to do, now just let them go!" 23) "You're a talker, I never liked talkers. Let's see how much talking you can do with your tongue cut out." 24) "You never listen, but that's okay because after I finish carving up your little friend over here I think you're going to be able to hear me just fine. 25) "I've never smashed anyone's hand with a hammer before so this is going to be a first for both of us." 26) "What happened to you? What did they say to you?" "Please don't make me tell you." 27) "I can't sleep, every time I close my eyes I see them." 28) "They were right, I'm weak and I couldn't save them." 29) "Let them go and you can have me. Let them go and I'll never try to leave again. I promise." 30) "No, they were my friend. I should be the one to kill them." 31) "No, go on, say it. Say that you wish I'd died instead of them, I know you want to!" 32) "Why do you stay with them? You don't deserve to be treated like this, no one does." 33) "The only thing you've ever been good at is being a coward!" 34) "You don't belong here, you never did." 35) "You're a waste of air." 36) "You're useless." 37) "They hurt you, why do you go back?" "They're the only family I've got." 38) "You don't have friends, we're the only ones who are able to tolerate you. 39) "I've felt pain all my life, but now? I don't feel anything." "Good, then you're ready." 40) "I wish they would have let you die that day." 41) "You always were too emotional." 42) "What do hugs feel like?" 43) "Why does everything hurt?" 44) "Why doesn't anyone want me? 45) "Families are supposed to love you, not leave you." "Then I guess I've never had a family." 46) "Do you think I'll ever have a family one day?" 47) "How long do you think they can hold their breath underwater before they need to breathe?" 48) "Hey! Hey, wake up! How many of these did you take, huh? No, no, don't go back to sleep, you need to stay awake for me." 49) "Are you afraid of me too?" 50) "Why didn't you tell us you'd been hit? You almost died." 51) "Prove your loyalty. Kill them." "They're just a kid." 52) "Am I going to die here?" "No, okay? Just stay with me." 53) "Your efforts to be the good guy have been so cute but it's time to face reality. You were born to be bad, you'll never be the hero. 54) "I'm fine." "No you're not, you're losing a lot of blood." 55) "Save the others first. Save them first or all my fighting was for nothing." 56) "You see these scars? You did this to me." 57) "Do you think they knew I loved them before they died?" 58) "Could you ever forgive me?" 59) "I can't give up. They need me so I can never give up." 60) "You couldn't save your first love, what makes you think you can save your second?" 61) "It's okay if you're scared of dying, your friends were too." 62) "Whatever you want, anything you want, I'll give it to you. Just make it stop." 63) "They say I'm a monster and I never believed them but now I think they're right." 64) "I failed my mission, I couldn't save them. Their deaths are on me." 65) "I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can barely fucking breathe because they're gone and it's my fault. And god knows what they're doing to them right now and I'm just sitting here doing nothing!" 66) "Calm down, calm down, you were just dreaming." 67) "Take me instead, please?" "What would I want with someone as pathetic as you?" 68) "If you have to kill one of us kill me." 69) "I ruined your brilliant plan, I destroyed everything you built, I killed your friends, and now you've got one bullet left and two people in front of you. So, shoot me because if you shoot them and let me live I'm going tear you apart piece by piece. So, what's it going to be?" 70) "I know you've been out for a long time need you to do a job for me." "I'm not killing again." "Not even if the person I'm asking you to kill is responsible for all of your pain?" 71) "It'd be a shame if someone you loved got hurt, I know how much your friends mean to you." 72) "I hate myself when I'm with you." 73) "I wish you didn't have to be medicated to call me." 74) "This is all your fault. I wish you'd died in that car crash instead of them." 75) "I need to get up. They're dying so I need to get up right now." 76) "Just make it all stop, please, it hurts. Everything hurts." 77) "We can't be together. You know that. You and I bring out the worst in each other." 78) "Be a shame if you kept talking and I had to take out a few of those teeth to shut you up. Especially since you've got such a lovely smile." 79)  "Look at that, your hero came for you after all. They really do love you, huh? It's a shame you wont get the reunion you wanted." 80) "I know living with me hasn't been easy but I really am trying here." 81) "You put on such a brave face but the truth is you're terrified of what's out there." 82) "You think you're ready to do everything but you're not. You're not ready to kill someone, no matter how much you hate them." 83) "Everybody keeps telling me what to do, what to say, what to think, what to feel and I can't do this anymore, I can't. I feel like I'm not even a person anymore and I just need it to stop. I just want everything to stop! 84) "I'm just trying to keep you from dying! Don't you see that? I care about you and you are the last person I ever want to see dead out there, so just fucking listen to me for once!" 85) "I just want to keep you safe, there are a lot of bad people out there who want to hurt people like us. We have to be careful." 86) "Goddamn it, kid, don't you ever listen? Stay still, let me stop the bleeding, okay?" 87) "You are not one of us, okay? You're just some rando who got dragged into all this shit. So take this money, get a bus ticket, and go home, kid." 88) "What have I become?" 89) "Why hasn't anyone looked for me yet?" "Because they don't care about you like I do." 90) "I'm not a kid anymore so stop treating me like I am!" 91) "They left you all alone. Stay here with me and I'll never leave you. I can be your family and we can watch them all burn together." 92) "Why did you jump in front of me back there?" "Why didn't you move?" 93) "I never thought I'd see you again, they told me you were dead." 94) "Get under the bed and don't make a sound okay?" "But they'll get you." "Just get under the bed and no matter what you hear or what you see just stay completely quiet and completely still. Do that for me, alright?" 95) "Shh, it's just me, don't panic." "Don't sneak up on me like that." 96) "I feel so useless." 97) "You call out for them when you sleep. Do you want to talk about it?" 98) "My eyelids feel like they weigh a million pounds." "It's because you're tired, you should get some sleep. We have to save the world tomorrow." 99) "Hey! Hey, calm down. Calm down, it's just me." 100) "When I finish patching you up I swear to god I'm gonna kick your ass for making me worry about you."

[bi-dazai]

okay while we're on the subject of eating healthy and exercising, I want to vent/talk about weight loss. This is gonna be a rly controversial, very personal and extremely long post but I do want to make a point. I'm not going to discuss every fucking nuance of haes or my EDs. But for clarity, know that my eds are complicated and were mostly osfeds - minor anorexia osfed in high school and bed osfed when I was 18-19. after i realised how fat i was the minor anorexia came back and over the pandemic it became full scale anorexia nervosa.

I'm 5'3. The healthy weight range I should be in is in the high 40s-low 50s. I went up to TWICE that by the time I was just nineteen years old. It wasn't fun being fat. I consumed as much fat acceptance, fat activism content as I could, I pretended I was confident and happy even when I was fat. But I wasn't. Because people don't just get obese accidentally. A little overweight, yes. But obese? No. You get obese from depression, from giving up. You don't want to move so you don't. You're sad all the time, and the body positivity circles say eat comfort food, whatever and as much as it makes you feel better!! Do you know what that is? That's encouragement of BED. Do not say that. Because I did that. I ate sugar and junk food, I was still depressed.

I was reading these posts that were claiming fat people shouldn't be weighed at the doctor, that your weight shouldn't count, that BMI is incorrect and doesn't matter, etc etc. There were posts saying that they got "perfect bloodwork" (what even is that? I knew that was wrong, I've had chronic iron deficiency for a decade!) even though they were fat, so they had to be healthy, right? I got shown pictures of obese ballerinas and obese weightlifters blah blah blah. And I grew and grew, and I got to almost 85kg on the fast track to 100kg before reality smacked me in the face and I realised I was shortening my lifespan by decades.

Here's what it was like being obese!

- joint pain, constantly

- could barely walk anywhere without feeling out of breath

- couldn't find any fashionable, good quality clothes (plus size stores either carry unfashionable clothing, or fashionable but cheap quality clothing. I don't like to waste money on cheap clothes)

- more acne than I'd had in years

- oily skin

- more difficulty feeling "full"

- JOINT FUCKING PAIN

- rashes from skin rubbing against skin!

- even larger chest, making me MORE dysphoric

- back pain!!

- snoring - this is not just embarrassing. This is potentially deadly.

- DYSPHORIA

- KNEES. JOINT PAIN.

- DYSPHORIA

this was just things I felt physically, noticeably! The things that my fat was doing on the inside was even worse. Fat isn't just this layer of packing peanuts that appears on top of you. It coats your organs. It gets everywhere. It makes your entire body run worse.

Fat also makes it much more likely for you to not just GET cancer, but it it also makes it harder to FIGHT cancer. Being obese makes almost every single goddamn sickness on the planet worse because when you have THAT MUCH fat tissue the hormones and shit it secretes fucks EVERYTHING up.

Yes there are obese bodybuilders. Yes there are obese ballerinas. Let's talk about those two.

There are plenty of drs and dieticians who have pointed out the obvious - if an obese person was really, actually eating healthily and exercising every day, they would not stay obese forever. Its not magic, it's thermodynamics. CICO done right works for everyone. If you are eating healthy, appropriate portions for weight loss at your TDEE and exercising it would literally be IMPOSSIBLE for you not to lose weight!! Even more the heavier you are because when you exercise you carry around a lot more weight.

Obese weightlifters are still obese. They are not proof you can be obese and healthy. They are still going to die younger if they do not lose weight.

Let's talk about fat ballerinas. The only ones I've seen are trainee ballerinas, not professional ones. And their performance looks impressive at first, until you look closer. You notice their balance is never quite perfect, their control can be amazing and the best ever but they'll still be off. Why? Because fat moves around with your movement, and it displaces your balance and your line of movement. It's simply not possible to do something like ballet dancing as a fat person without risking major injury as well. En pointe is already stupid dangerous for the skinniest ballerina. Going en pointe at anything above 60kg is going to get progressively suckier the heavier you go. And god help your ankles because falling down will always end in a major injury.

I'm so fucking done with "fat acceptance". I'm tired of "body positivity" being a movement about obese middle-upper class white women and not about scars and disabilities etc like it was focused on in the start. I have no problems with Health at Every Size - every person should feel happy to workout, to eat healthy. I have no problem raising issue with people bullying others for their weight as well. That's wrong. But pretending that it's Healthy at Every Size is a fucking lie, and it's one that could've sentenced me to an early death. Healthy at Every Size said I was condemned to joint pain and oily skin and depression and exhaustion for the rest of my life based on cherrypicked sentences from studies that didn't agree with them. That "95% of diets fail" sentence in particular drives me up the wall. You don't need a diet to lose weight, you need healthy CICO, you need to eat below your TDEE, you need to eat healthy, and you need to exercise. All you have to do at first is go on a 10-20 minute walk, whatever pace you like, a few times a week.

You can BE fit, you CAN lose weight! You are not sentenced to having joint pain and an increased risk for cancer and a less effective COVID vaccine for life. You can change your body in incredibly ways. You have no idea what you are capable of.

There's this myth that weight loss takes keto and shakes and diet pills and crash diets etc. It doesn't. All it is is making sure you eat less than your TDEE, eating HEALTHY calories, and getting your heartrate up by exercising at least 175 minutes a week.

The human body is not meant to be obese. There's no such thing as a set point weight. There's CICO, there's nutrition, there's making sure your muscles dont atrophy. Weight loss and fitness isn't some magic thing that youre just born able to do. I was lazy throughout my entire teens. I thought fitness was something the popular girls did. It's not. It's for everyone. and everyone, especially in places with an obesity epidemic such as the US, UK, and Australia, should make use of it. It's a good thing. Walking is one of the best things you can do for your body, and it's incredibly rewarding in every way. Eating healthy and not eating until you feel like you're going to burst is rewarding in every way. And it's not like you can't ever have junk food again, you just have to limit it to a treat, a once or twice per week thing. And honestly, it makes it much more enjoyable that way.

Now I want to talk a little about my anorexia. My weight loss journey came to anorexia. This is because it was an eating disorder I'd had for a long time. I did not see a trainer or dietician, and I consciously decided to push myself too far. I consciously decide to eat less and exercise more when I am starving. This is not something that just happens because someone is eating at 1200cals. It happens because you have an eating disorder which you are born with. Saying people who eat 1200cals of healthy food a day and exercise right are "anorexic" is so fucking insulting to everyone involved. It's ableist and ignorant. 1200cals is also a pretty generous amount for anorexic ppl to eat. That's close to a binge in ED standards, so that should give you a reference for how offbase saying 1200cals is "anorexic" is.

My anorexia is healthy habits pushed into eating disorder territory. I eat healthy, yes, but I don't eat enough. I exercise, yes, but I often push myself too far when I'm already lacking energy. The advice I give people for health is correct, and I'm never going to go around saying "eat less than 1200cals" as weightloss advice. Eat less, sure, but there's a limit. Calorie counting is a good thing to do, tracking your macros and nutrients is good. But I do it too much.

I know what's healthy, a lot of ppl with restrictive and purgative EDs do. People with EDs can give some awesome health advice, we just can't follow it because we have a mental disorder. Believe it or not people with EDs discussing their EDs are not "pro-ana", pointing out that anorexia and people with anorexia are real and not some boogeyman you use to justify not losing weight and eating healthy is not pro-ana. Anorexia existing is not pro-ana and anorexics being anorexic has nothing to do with fatphobia.

this post is a rambling mess but i rly had to get some stuff clear on how I feel abt this stuff because it's getting concerning how much unhealthy shit, and then straight up ableist shit, that the fat acceptance crowd spews out.

A little exercise won't kill you, eating healthy won't kill you. You are not sentenced to ugly plus size fashion and joint pain and being out of breath for the rest of your life. Leave the Healthy at Every Size death cult and join the Health at Every Size movement. Let the doctor take your weight (it IS medically necessary). acknowledge that you are obese and it is affecting your health. It's scary but it can be the start of a new, healthy beginning. It was for me.

Losing 15kg has been the best thing in my life. Sure, the anorexia is there enjoying it for one reason. But the reason I truly enjoy it is because I've discovered what a healthier body feels like. I've discovered the joys of exercise, I've discovered the joys of eating healthy. I can fit nice clothes now. And I'm still overweight! I'm 66kg, that's 4kg away from the barest minimum acceptable healthy bmi. But I feel so so much better. I look better. I have a jawline! Good skin! Energy! It didn't fix me but it sure made me a hell of a lot better.

Please please try and eat healthy, eat an appropriate amount, go for walks. It's so so good, and if you do it right you WILL lose weight. You'll live past 50. You'll get to explore the world in a way you couldn't when going up stairs had you out of breath. You'll fit into that nice skirt you've been looking at. Your skin will clear up. You'll have energy and your mental health will improve.

It's so so fucking worth it to put effort into your health, like I cannot emphasise this enough. Please do it, I wish I could tell myself this when I was binging on junk because the FA crowd told me it was valid to comfort eat until I hurt.

[holycow99]

石田お寿司 18/9/21 stream summary Part 3

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(t/n: ** = translation may not be accurate, SY= Y****, TS= S******)

83. Ishida bad mouthed the assistant guy from the last stream, not realising that person was in the stream as well. He then asked whether the guy was able to wake up.

84. Someone mentioned Bleach’s author, Kubo sensei, as the one who could draw super fast. He said that being able to draw fast didn’t only include the pace you’re drawing the picture. The panels were also included. Even if you draw fast, if there’s 120 panels, it’d still gonna take time. On the other hand, if there’s only 70 panels, it’d take less time. Then there’s the art style as well. Those who use great amount of Kakeami would take a longer time. He then praised Kubo sensei’s drawing.

(t/n: Kakeami is a method of shading using only parallel lines.)

85. Takahashi Rumiko sensei, the author of Inuyasha was also mentioned as mangaka who drew fast. Ishida mentioned that she’s full of energy. He said young Takahashi Rumiko sensei was cute. She’s still cute now.

86. SY asked what kind of vehicle he wanted to ride. He said he’s scared of trucks. He also didn’t like riding buses. In conclusion, he didn’t wanna ride anything.

87. Ishida said it’s kinda hard to be motivated with digital drawing. He did want to draw on papers, but drawing digitally is infinitely better when he wants to fix or adjust things in his works. He often uses shortcuts as well.

88. He never really felt any sense of accomplishment, so he didn’t understand people who did. He did feel relief (?) when he completed something, but he didn’t understand the feeling of wanting to experience that sense of accomplishment again. He envied those who felt that way since he never felt it.

89. SY read TG manga for the first time the previous day. Ishida was surprised by it and asked him if he thought Ishida was just a streamer. People in the chat were also shocked by it, lol. There were people who only knew about JJ too. Ishida wondered how did SY come across his streams. Sy replied that he just thought Ishida was just someone who drew beautiful illustrations the first time he watched his stream. Ishida was grateful that he’s reading it. It didn’t really matter if he read it or not. When musicians told him that they read TG, he felt like they’re just trying to be considerate, but they probably did read it. It’s okay if they didn’t read it. He always thought that every time he met new people. He wasn’t being humble, it’s just that he preferred if people could just talk to him as usual.

90. Someone said that there were people who got shocked reading TG after they played JJ.  He said it’s because JJ was a combination between his sister & him. He also already through with TG, so the vibe was different. However, he once said in an interview that it was hard for him to get rid off TG vibes inside of him when doing JJ in the early stages. He was teased about that by everyone.  

91. He went to the bathroom for the 3rd time and someone guessed the correct flower.

92. He wants to invite Mr. Kunimitsu and Ms. Towada again.

93. He said 30,000 is quite a lot for a small fry youtuber like him. He’s amazed he could come this far just by his Animal Rap videos and his game streams.

94. He’s looking at the new illustration that Ms. Towada posted on her twitter. He said the illustration must’ve taken a lot of time. That kind of illustration was tough to draw. He said Ms. Towada seemed healthy when they talked recently.

95. It’s better to just have a conversation with Ms. Towada the next time she’s in the stream since he’d get distracted.

96. Takayuki Kondo, Takashina Sarafumi’s VA was streaming at the time and a fan commented that he was praising Ishida in the stream. Ishida wanted to know what he said about him so he asked the fan to record it.** Ishida was grateful about it.

97. A fan commented that Ms. Towada seemed knowledgeable about geography or local stuffs. Ishida told them it’s because she really liked to travel. She probably had gone to most prefectures in Japan. That’s why she’s very knowledgeable in local history.

98. He jokingly said that he already went to Kumamoto trip with 300 fans. He apologised to those who didn’t get invited.

99. SY commented something and Ishida asked him shouldn’t he be doing something at the moment. He hoped SY did something while listening to his stream. He wanted to think the viewers did that since he only talked about trivial stuffs.

100. A lot of people said they weren’t invited. Ishida said that the trip was only for old men. The trip was for those aged 40 years old and above.

101. He mentioned that he’s just gonna thank the viewers for 30,000 subscribers’ celebration, though he’s really grateful for it. He wanna aim for 40,000 as well.

102. Someone mentioned that Simon’s abilities were really cool to the point they wanted to try those abilities. Ishida also stated he wanted to try them.

103. A fan suggested Ishida going on a trip with 300 gals. He said it seemed tiring, but in actuality, he’d probably enjoy it.

104. A fan asked his opinion on anti-natalism. He wasn’t familiar with the term and searched for it. He wondered if the term was brought by Schopenhauer. He said Schopenhauer was just jealous of Hegel since Hegel was really famous. His books were full of criticism on Hegel.

(t/n: Anti-natalism is a principle that’s against reproduction. Anti-natalists believe that giving birth is wrong. Both Schopenhauer & Hegel were philosophers.)

105. His opinion on the subject was that it’s okay if anti-natalists exist. There are people who agree or disagree with the concept. If you don’t wanna have a baby, you don’t need to. If you want to have a baby, then you should go for it. He said recently, he finally understood why declining birth rate is a bad thing.

106. A fan suggested a stream where viewers could also participate to increase subscribers, so he asked what should they do together. People in the chat suggested games like tetris, bomberman, and Smash Bros. He didn’t wanna play Smash Bros cus he didn’t wanna get beaten again.

107. A fan said that a lot of people would be interested in having children if they had money. He said it’s better to provide support towards people who raise children.

108. Mashima Hiro sensei, Fairy Tail’s author, did an online signing session. He wondered how he did that.

109. A fan suggested playing Mario Kart with viewers, but he scared the same thing would happen to him, just like during Smash Bros.

*Ishida reading game recommendations.

101. A fan asked what kind of game should they play so he wouldn’t get his ass beaten. He said it depended on the players. It’s better to gather weak players, so he could be the strongest.

102. A fan suggested a correction session, where Ishida would look through everyone’s own manga and correct errors. But then, everyone had to draw a manga.

103. He’s still not over his Crazy Jump’s idea. He seriously wanted to publish the magazine, lol.

104. People asking him how many pages should they draw and he said just 2 panels.

105. He bought a lot of books about human history.

106. He drank a lot of proteins.

107. He said Hitman is fun if he plays it by himself. He becomes lazy when he streams it, so it feels boring.

108. He wanted to play Detroit again, but he wanted to finish Heavy Rain first. He wanted to play Heavy Rain but the game’s heavy.

109. He wanted to end the stream, but everyone asked him not to.

110. He’s probably gonna do his work or watch movies while trying to sleep after the stream ends.

111. He wanted to end the stream, but he’s really curious about Mama’s last illustration, so he continued playing Made in Wario for a bit. He fanboyed over Mama, Mona, and Penny. He wanted to get penny’s illustration, but he didn’t have enough money to buy items to increase Penny’s level.

112. He wanted to try go to a cabaret club. He wanted to try spending all his money on a cabaret girl. He wanted to go to a host club as well, but he thought he’d probably wasting the hosts’ time since they’d have to serve him.

113. In the end, he’s gonna take a look at Mama’s final illustration by himself. He fanboyed over her one last time.  

Part 1

[teachingtales]

Migraines

I am writing this for those of you who:

don’t have migraines, but know someone who does and want to know more

don’t have migraines, but may develop them later

do have migraines and don’t really know how to tell other people about them, so you can find some phrases that may help here (or just link them)

My mother had migraines, and I never did. I remember asking her what it was like, and was told, “It’s like a really bad headache.” In no way did that prepare me for migraines. I started getting them after getting disabled in the Marines with neurological issues. I honestly thought I was having a brain aneurysm or something. Was I dying? Is there a parasite boring through my brain and trying to find its way outside of my skull? 

It turned out to be a migraine. 

Later on, I lost strength in my left side. I was confused, dizzy. Is this a stroke? I went to the veterans hospital. Nope, it’s “just” another form of migraine. Uh...cool?

What is a migraine?

Unlike regular headaches that have many causes, migraines are a neurological disorder. You may have another neurological disorder that also produces migraines, or your neurological disorder may produce migraines as the primary problem. Migraines affect about 10% of the population, making them the most common neurological disorder. 

How can I tell if I get migraines?

Being the giant nerd I am, I looked up the etymology of the word and it comes from Greek. The original word is “hemikrania”, with “hemi” as “half” and “kranion” is “skull”, and you can see that over time the “he” part was dropped off. 

While there are lots of different symptoms of a migraine, this is actually one of the most defining symptoms...that’s probably why they chose this name. The head pain will happen only in half of your skull, either the left side or right side. A single migraine event can switch sides, but they won’t hurt at the same time. I usually get migraines on my left side, but occasionally they happen on the right instead. I’d say it’s about 95-5 for the split. 

A friend asked me if having them on the right side was any better or worse, and it’s a great question. The answer is: they still suck the same way, just on the other side. Although I will say that they’re almost worse in a way, because I have my habits to compensate for my left-side migraines and have to alter all of those habits. It’s not terribly annoying, objectively-speaking, but when you’re in the middle of a migraine it is annoying.

If you experience severe pain on half of your head, see a doctor. You probably are having a migraine.

What is it like to have a migraine? What are the symptoms?

This is what I wish I knew going into them. The pain severity can be “oh this really sucks” to “aslasfoiafjagjglkagnlgfjajwoi”, and I use that keyboard smash because when the pain is severe you can barely talk. Think of getting a brain freeze. You know how you stop doing everything to address the pain in your head that’s suddenly there? Imagine that level of pain for several hours. This is what it’s like to have a severe pain migraine. You can’t think of anything else, you can’t even sleep. 

While “really frickin’ bad head pain” is what most people know about for a migraine, there really are tons of other symptoms. As a neurological condition, it can cause syptoms like:

nausea and vomiting

diarrhea 

diarrhea and vomiting together

sudden dizziness (for anyone that’s been blackout drunk, it’s like that period right before you black out, where you’re really dizzy), and you end up walking in a swaying motion, sometimes falling down or falling into walls...it really looks like you’re drunk

loss of coordination, so it’s hard to do things like open a small package or tie your shoes

loss of strength in arm, hand, leg, and/or foot, making it difficult to walk

change in perception of temperature, including wild swings between shivering shaking cold and sweating hot

sensitivity to everything: lights, smells, sounds, tastes, touches...all of these increase the symptoms you’re already feeling

confusion or “brain fog”, which lead to things like you losing your train of thought mid-sentence, forgetting what you’re doing while you’re doing it, inability to focus, difficulty talking

slurred speech (sounds like you’re quite drunk)

suddenly feeling incredibly tired

slipping into sleep  without warning when seated or lying down (not great during commutes on the bus or subway)

changes in vision, such as blurred vision, changes in color perception, seeing “auras” around things, missing one eye’s vision, or having chunks of your vision missing

Sometimes you know when you’re about to get a migraine. This is called “prodrome”, but since most people don’t know this term I just call it a “starter migraine” or “I’m on the edge of a migraine.” If you can catch yourself in this period, you may be able to prevent the migraine with medication. The prodrome period depends on the person and takes a while to get used to, and you won’t always get them. Sometimes you just HEY MIGRAINE, sometimes you wake up and already have a migraine. You’re not guaranteed any prior warning. 

The opposite is the “postdrome”, which I just call the “after-effects of the migraine” because most people don’t know what “postdrome” is. As you can see from the symptoms, it’s quite intense. As a result, you’re left exhausted, drained, sometimes sore, and often feeling a bit vulnerable, like anything you do will cause you pain or bring the return of the migraine. Even though the migraine is over, you still can’t get back to your normal activities. It depends on the person, but it can be quite common to experience the postdrome. As with the prodrome, you may not have this. 

What triggers a migraine?

What is so frustrating about migraines is that there are so, so many triggers, and they’re often inconsistent. Sometimes, they’re even opposing. 

caffeine can help during a migraine, but too much caffeine without having a migraine can trigger a migraine; and sometimes caffeing during a migraine makes it worse

chocolate can trigger a migraine but I personally have not experienced this

strong cheeses can trigger a migraine, but as with chocolate I never experienced this

 low blood sugar due to skipped meals can trigger a migraine 

too much sugar can trigger a migraine

changes in air pressure 

changes in humidity

dehydration

too much exercise 

not enough exercise

moving around too much

too much lying down or sitting

stress is a common trigger

cold, such as cold weather or cold items touching the skin

running/jogging

bright lights, especially flashing lights

loud sounds of any type (human, booming sounds, construction)

vomiting also can trigger migraines, such as if you’re sick with something else or if you have bulimia

being sick with another illness can stress out the body to trigger a migraine

I’ve had relatives ask if I can “just move to another place” to avoid things like storms, and that’s not an option. While stormy, rainy weather is a common trigger, so is bright sunshine (especially if dehydrated)...which rules out most of the world during summertime. 

I was enjoying Avengers: Endgame until I realized that the sounds and light were hurting, and I was shoved into one of the worst migraines I’ve had. I had no prior warning, I otherwise had felt fine that day, but after a couple hours of loud booming noises coupled with bright flashes, it triggered a migraine. 

As you can see, this is really a difficult thing to manage. Some people get rare or occasional migraines, but people like me have chronic migraines. “Chronic migraines” are classified as “having at least 15 per month”, but in my case I will get them daily if I don’t take my medication and do my best to avoid all these triggers. Just this morning, I woke up around 06:30 and a couple hours later a migraine came because of the weather so I went to take a nap, but that made the migraine worse because I was lying down too much. I woke up in more pain and had to go for a walk (after taking my noon medication) for it to try to subside. 

What are the treatments for migraines?

No matter which route you take, you will always have to do your lifestyle changes. This means making sure you have plenty of water, don’t skip meals, manage stress, etc. 

You can take medication. I have medication I take a few times a day, and another one I take for when I feel a migraine breaking through. If that also fails, I take an injection at home. 

You can take supplements. There are things like butterbur, magnesium, catnip, ginger, and other things. Look online and include the words “migraine study” with the supplement name. This way you can see how effective it was, and the dosage. Check the company as well to see if they’re reputable. In places like the USA, supplements are not regulated so companies may put other ingredients instead. You can also make extracts or teas with things like catnip and ginger. Send a PM if you want to know how to do that. It’s easy. 

You can get Botox. I haven’t tried this but some people swear by it. The price was out of my range and I was told that it would impede my range of motion; since I lift weights, I didn’t want to deal with that. My regular doctor told me that my migraines are managed “well enough” with medication and I can’t expect any better with Botox; in other words, it’d be a waste of my money. But if you are having problems managing yours with medication, then see if Botox works for you. 

Other treatments for migraines include:

resting in a dark room

sunglasses or yellow-lens glasses

ice pack on the pain area (or a cold pillow)

stretching (but this can increase pain in some cases)

going to sleep

drinking water

drinking caffeine (coffee, energy drink, green tea, any source is fine)

eating a small meal if you haven’t eaten yet; preferably something with sugar, like fruit or fruit juice

binaural beats (this is my sound-video of choice, but be careful because there’s a loud “BING” type of sound at the beginning)

no screen time 

removing strong smells (such as cleaning the cat’s litter box if it has feces or urine)

not eating anything with a strong flavor, and avoid spicy food

don’t wear a bra

don’t wear anything tight/snug around your waist or upper body, to include: tight waistbands, pantyhose, snug belts, corsets. If you need a belt, wear it looser than normal

If I’m at work and having a vomiting + head pain type of migraine, I will make myself a mix of electrolyte drink (like Powerade) + an energy drink and sip it. This helps get some caffeine and helps wake me up a bit, plus it helps re-hydrate me. 

Not a treatment, but apparently if you get migraines as a child or teen, finishing puberty can somehow result in your migraines stopping, so that’s cool, but it doesn’t always happen because migraines are apparently a gift from some kind of trickster deity.

Are migraines dangerous?

Chronic migraines can unfortunately increase your risk of stroke in your forties. 

Chronic vomiting, if you get this as a common symptom, can have a negative impact on your teeth and muscles...including your heart. If you get chronic vomiting, ask your doctor about any supplements (like potassium or magnesium) that they can prescribe to help mitigate the muscle issues. Wash your mouth out with water after vomiting (this is what my dentist recommended...I asked about baking soda, but they said to just do water. Do not brush your teeth because it can do more damage, but if the post-vomit taste in your mouth is going to trigger more vomiting, gargle with mouthwash or drink some juice).

I don’t get migraines but know someone who does. How can I help?

You are a beautiful person for wanting to help. How you help depends on where you are...you can’t lie down and take a nap when you’re at the grocery store, for example. Ask the person what they need, and remind them that it’s okay to sit down or stay home. We’ll often feel guilty about having to cancel plans, so let them know it’s okay. 

If it’s around a meal time, bring them something kind of bland that they can pick at. This can include hard boiled eggs (peeled and cut into quarters or halves), sliced bananas, peeled/shelled nuts, rice balls, cooked potato pieces (chips, crisps, french fries, roasted potato cubes), small pieces of cooked chicken breast, bread that has been cut into cubes, cubed or sliced apple or pear. 

Be prepared to make an ice pack, which needs to be wrapped in a small towel. Some people have never used an ice pack before and you cannot put it on your skin directly. It needs to be wrapped in a small towel or shirt. If you don’t have an ice pack, frozen vegetables/fruit in an unopened package works. If not, put ice cubes into a zipper baggie and then wrap that in a cloth. If you have a loved one who gets migraines and visits often, buy a small ice pack to keep at your home. This is a pouch with a gel in it, and it is quite inexpensive. You can find them at pharmacies or large stores with a pharmacy section. 

In closing, migraines suck and I’m sorry if you get them. Please have some memes I made.

I thought I had more but I guess not or I forgot where I put them. Feel free to share or ask questions.

[jamaiskookie]

bangtan headcanon: OT7 IN HIGH SCHOOL 📓✂️

☞ genre; fluff, crack

☞ warnings; excessively stupid

masterlist  u wanna talk to highschool!bangtan?

《KIM SEOKJIN》

class clown

always manages to sneak kimbap in class, and stuffs his face despite being in the front row. 

he’s alarmingly good at sneaking food into places. 

cafeteria ladies love jin so much. 

and every christmas he brings in his perfected sugar cookies and never shares them.

(he’s in the cooking club)

((he’s the only one in the cooking club))

will interrupt the teacher to make a bad joke. 

“yes so helium is the fo- oh yes seokjin?“

“i was reading an excellent book about helium, i couldn’t put it down!! ahHAHAHHYUKHYUKAHHAHAHHA“ 

nobody’s?? really sure?? if he’s dating namjoon or not?? it’s the schools biggest mystery, there’s currently a betting pool going on worth about $500

likes to annoy namjoon and yoongi about holding bake sales. 

is surprisingly good at planning parties?? but never hosts them?? hoseok always gets him to plan his parties and he even planned prom!!

he’s particularly proud with the theme he came up with. 

‘zombie meets elegance‘ 

it was actually pretty nicely pulled off (much to the shock of the entire student body) 

《MIN YOONGI》

student council president 

takes his job very!! seriously!! 

fights with the principal on funding daily. 

doesn’t come to school without coffee and resting bitch face.

even the teachers are afraid of this short little emo boy. 

is the only one who actually wears the school uniform properly with the little tie and jacket because that’s how you show school spirit. 

definitely that closeted gay in high school who thinks nobody knows about his homosexuality when in fact, everyone knows.

(nobody has the guts to bring it up to him though)

“hyung why are you staring at jimin’s as-“

 “-NO WHY GET BACK TO WORK” 

actually enjoys doing morning announcements. 

“make sure to check out jin’s dumb bake sale i think he’s selling brownies for some charitable reason anYWAYS time for min’s advice column!!“ 

min’s advice column is yoongi’s free therapy. namjoon suggested adding an advice column to the school paper so now yoongi just judges his classmates’s decisions gives subpar advice. 

“i personally think you have no chance with this girl, but you’re clearly hell bent on asking her out. it’s a dumb choice. good luck.“ 

《JUNG HOSEOK》

fuckboy

throws obnoxious parties at his parent’s huge ass mansion. 

somehow?? is?? the nicest? playboy??? evER??

will respect your girl’s boundaries but also would 300% hit on her when you’re not looking. 

aftercare king wILL cuddle with you and help you clean up or whatever until jimin eventually comes in screaming. 

his school id says “hobi 💦👅” ... noone knows how he managed to do it (taehyung thinks he seduced the secretary) 

surprisingly good at romance even though he deTests dating

“it’s a waste of time, money, and ass.“  “- what?”

gives everyone dating advice whether they want it or nOt- he lives his *shhh very secret* romantic fantasies through his best friends. 

once helped taehyung ask out his girlfriend... they’re still going strong!!

defo has daddy issues that he never talks about,, maybe if a girl finds it sexc™️ in that kind of messed-up-bad-boy-she-could-fix vibe he’ll bring it up

kinda failing science lmao he probably needs a tutor.. but will never admit he needs a tutor for sake of his pride. 

most definitely has had sex in the janitor’s closet a couple times, up until yoongi caught him once, reported him to the school board and got him suspended... for a month. 

(yoongi has no regrets, that was the best month of his life.)

《KIM NAMJOON》

student vice president

honestly would probably be the council president and is the most qualified for it but can’t be bothered.

plus he hates public speaking and the president has to speak at assemblies.  

genuinely enjoys learning!! bUT HATES GROUP PROJECTS

because every single fucking time taehyung and jimin pester him about teaming up and he ends up doing like 75% of the work.

not because anyone forces him to or anything.

it’s because jimin and tae are such dumbasses every time they finish their work namjoon has a sudden uRGE TO REDO ALL OF IT BC THEY GOT IT WRONG.

tries to take all AP subjects.

gives up and drops half of them by the second semester.

great student but also will “no yoongi i don’t want to fucking play basketball i've been awake for thirty hours trying to finish this goddamn essay that’s due tomorrow. wHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY DIDN’T I DO IT EARLIER I WAS BUSY TAKING CARE OF MY BONSAI TREES.“

started the school paper!! it’s called “persona post”

writes about actual relevant things like political events and global problems, but everyone else just writes about school gossip *sigh*

although that one column examining hobi’s sex and dating life was a pretty fun piece of writing to read through. 

he sits in the back of the classroom and never raises his hand even though he knows the answer like 95% of the time.

definitely has a crush on seokjin

《PARK JIMIN》

the one everyone has a crush on

and when i say everyone i mean everyone, even hoseok has had a crisis over park jimin. 

(jungkook is definitely president of his fan club) ((in case it wasn’t clear, he’s dating jungkook))

school’s golden boy, basically gets away with everything with a bat of an eye... and the most infuriating thing is he doesn’t even realise it. 

“omg jimin!! you’re so cute!! this shirt looks sO good on you, can i touCH?” “omg thank you i didn’t think it fit well because it’s my boyfriends but that’s so sweet!!” “boy... hm?”

mom friend: sweetest bitch alive and is always worrying about his friends but everyone knows he’s secretly really fucking kinky.

(again, jungkook has no comment)

the kind of person who celebrates christmas in june. 

literally- he starts putting decorations in his locker and around the school mid june. by november, he’s wearing reindeer ears to school.

*lowkey kind of a nerd* genuinely enjoys studying with namjoon.

“well, studying with anybody else is just too stressful!! plus, namjoon’s so chill. he doesn’t look like it but he actually is super sweet and nice!!!“

“... please take those reindeer ears off, it’s embarrassing.“ 

half of the school would probably cut off an arm to sleep with him. seriously, he gets offers like everYDAY it’s kinda getting tiRING

is considering starting a youtube channel where he just takes videos of all the dogs and babies he meets throughout the day. 

“idk i think vlogging would be fun“

《KIM TAEHYUNG》

art hoe

nEVER FUCKING STUDIES OR PAYS ATTENTION BUT GETS DECENT GRADES.

the definition of bisexual mess, WILL trip when he sees hot people.

exclusively wears wired gold glasses and soft neutral sweaters to school. if it’s a good day he’ll wear a beanie. on special occasions he’ll maybe throw in some fUN loafers.

dyes his hair to match ~the vibes~ of that season. the most recent wild hair colour is cool toned teal. 

jungkook said he looks like leprechaun shit, but tae really likes it. 

tried to go vegan countless times, failed each and every one when he passed by a mc donalds. 

carries his sketchbook wherever he goes. he has that thing around 24/7, 100% would not be surprised if he slept with it under his pillow.

really quiet until he has a point to make;; like that time where he launched into a three hour screaming lecture on how phineas and ferb is an animated masterpiece.

drinks tea purely for the aesthetic of it. 

goes to hipster coffee shops to pretend to study... ends up watching barbie movies and critiquing them on the writing blog that he thinks nobody knows about. 

watches anime in class (he recently rewatched all of ATLA for the third time,, failed his econ class but worth it!!1!!1)

《JEON JUNGKOOK》

preppy jock

once again, everyone is attracted to him, but he’s so whipped for jimin everyone’s crush fades away once they talk to him because-

“oh it’s so cool that you have a dog!! you know, i think jimin kind of looks like a pomeranian sometimes it’s sO CUTE- hm? oh jimin’s my boyfriend.“

... it’s disgustingly adorable. 

plays almost every sport and is somehow always the team captain. not out of obligation or with leadership skills or anything, everyone else just votes for him. 

mess with his friends and he’ll put a stink bomb in your locker. 

his nickname is “golden baby” because he’s good at everything, teachers love him so much. 

grades? sTELLAR. sports? he’s done them ALL. creativity? pAINTED THE SCHOOL MURAL. service? volunteers at a pet shelter whenever he can (the bunnies love him for some reason) 

everyone either is 

a) in love w him, wants to fuck

b) jealous of him but is also secretly gay for him

pretends to not know how talented and cool he is and plays it off super cool

proceeds to fail, the only thing he’s bad at is humble bragging. 

“wow omg lol i got a 100 on my bio test and yesterday i got a hole in one in golf, my first time playing it but it’s chill i guess hahhah day in my life amirite.“

**this headcanon is the start of the bangtan school series, stay tuned**

wanna be tagged in school series or my writing? here or send me an ask

[sweetiejunie]

Hiraeth

—.*•—

Genre: fluff, mystery <idk rly, mainly mystery and puzzles solving>

Pairing: n/a (for now)

A/n: Got inspired by a book (the inheritance game) im reading and decided to write a new series. I guess this post is kind of like a teaser to see if people would be interested in a series like this!

—.*•—

Summary: You were mentioned in a billionaires will. But why? Who knew you would need to solve riddles and puzzles to find your answer. And the Emmerson brothers? An interesting bunch, to say the least.

You know, growing up in an orphanage isn’t as bad as they put it out in the movies. Sure, you may not have had the most glamorous of upbringings and seeing other kids get adopted while you didn’t sucks. Oh, and seeing your classmates get picked up by their parents everyday after school kinda stung. But if anyone asked, you would always say your childhood wasn’t all that bad. Your days was always filled with laughter and games. And at the very least, you had Alex by your side. She was like an older sister to you. A sister from another mister.

You had fun playing with the other children and your guardians always tired to make everything fun. The quiet game, where you compete and see who could remain the calmest while your guardian went to look for a flashlight when the electricity went out. Who could make their sweets last the longest? Game. The pillow game where you build pillow forts and huddle together to save money on heat. The floor was constantly lava. Everywhere you went it was either a game of hopscotch or tag.

And as a result, you’ve always had a fascination with games. From board games to more physically demanding games. Riddles, puzzles and even games of chance, like the weekly casino games you and your classmates would host after school — not to the knowledge of your teachers, of course.

You sat, aimlessly staring out the window. Your fingers twirling and fidgeting with the necklace. A locket. You’ve never opened it; you never figured out how to. But it was always with you. The last and only thing you had from your birth mother. Your guardian didn’t know much about her either, they found you at the door, abandoned. All she knew was that necklace.

“Y/n, can we go play outside?” A chirpy little voice dragged me back to the present. It was valerie. She was one of the newer kids to join the orphanage and being one of the oldest, you felt a bit of responsibility to help care for them.

“Of course,” you smiled back. “It’s cold outside today, you should go wear that scarf i gave you last week.”

With a little nod and giggle, the small human happily ran back to her room. Only to reappear seconds later with the woollen cloth around her.

—*•—

You had barely made it to your class on time. That that was just how you lived your life. You had the horrible habit of pushing things to the limit. Even with your grades. If sacrificing your 95 for a 90 meant you could put more hours into your part time job, you would take it in a heartbeat.

You were in the middle of a math quiz when you were summoned to the principal’s office. You were trouble, you figured. Girls like you don’t get praised. You didn’t stand out from the other students. You didn’t participate much in school activities and you definitely didn’t waste your time on extracurriculars. While they were out winning medals and trophies, you were in the park playing chess with the neighbourhood indigent.

Walking past the secretary’s desk, you couldn’t help but notice a boy sitting on one of the benches. He seemed to do not much older than you. Pink, dyed hair. He was wearing a suit, obviously tailor made for him. Looked like someone that would need security guards with him 24/7. Much too privileged to be a student at a local highschool.

“Y/n, take a seat.” Principal Langston started. His welcome far from warm, but nonetheless you listened. “I pulled you out of class today cause this was a rather urgent matter i have to attend to.”

If this was about your weekly gambling you used to pay for valarie’s new scarf — and sometimes clothes for yourself as well— you hoped he would just get on with it. But other than that, you had no idea what else could you possibly have done to earn the administrative’s attention.

“It’s alright. But what’s the matter?”

Without another word, he picked up the phone that linked straight to his secretary’s. “Hilda, you can send him in now.”

Moments later, you hear the open and in walks the mysterious male from earlier.

“Mr Emerson!” Principal Langston’s greeted him with a handshake and a smile. A smile? Principal Langston never smiled. “Thank you for you patience.” Yet, here he was grinning as if he just met the queen herself.

Two-faced swine.

Letting go of the principal’s, much too eager, grip. “Mr Langston, if you would give us some privacy.” His voice was low. Smooth and precise.

Immediately turning to face you. His eyes, blue and icy, staring straight into yours.

“But it’s my office-“

“I believe we had a deal.” The boy cut him off, raising an eyebrow.

Without another word, principal left. Never have you seen someone talk to your principal that way. And you have definitely never seen anyone chase someone away with a simple raised eyebrow. You can’t say you weren’t happy to see it, it was about time someone put him in his place. But what the boy said was... off. It didn’t seem like a deal but more of a threat?

“Good morning ms y/l/n.” His eyes lingered on yours., far too long for comfort before walking around the desk and sitting at the opposite side.

You tried not to stare — but failed. Bright pink hair. Blue piercing eyes. Both of which contrasted his black suit. How could you not.

“How do you know my name?” You demanded.

“Allow me to introduce myself. I’m choi yeonjun. And-“

“Choi?” Didn’t principal langston just call him emerson? “And I asked how you knew my name.” You resumed openly staring at the mystery boy.

“Adopted.” He answered simply. “And for now, just assume that i know everything.”

His voice would have been a lullaby if it weren’t for the words it was used for. “A guy that thinks he knows everything.” You scoffed, still staring as if it was a competition to see who would look away first.

“A girl that’s sharp-tongued.” You couldn’t help but notice how the end of his lips twitched upwards. “As i was saying,” he continued. “I’m just here to deliver a message. You have proven to be a rather difficult person to contact, ms y/l/n.”

He placed his arms on the desk, his right hand playing with the cuff link on his left wrist. “My father, Mr Harold Emerson. He passed away recently.” He look a second to study your reaction — or rather, lack there of. “Does his name ring any bells?”

“No. Should it?”

“Well,” he was the first to break the staring contest. “It appears that along with our family, and people who have worked with him for years, you have been named in his will.”

He looked to you for a reaction. Once again, you gave none — other than the confusion that was going on in your mind. You were a decently intelligent person. But right now yeonjun might as well have been speaking german to you.

“My father was a wealthy man. No one knows what exactly he has left you. But my father had requested you be present for the reading. It has been postponed for weeks.”

“Why would i be in your father’s will?” The only question you could think of.

“That’s the elephant in the room.” Yeonjun stood. “I have taken the liberty to arrange the travel plans for you.” This wasn’t an invitation it was summons. “There will be a car to pick you up tomorrow evening.”

“Wait.” You turned in your chair to face him. “Can i bring someone with me?”

“If you must.” And without another word, he walked out the door.

Choi yeonjun. Arrogant, cold. He was here for one thing and one thing only. All that was made clear from the mere ten minutes with him.

.

.

.

Let me know if you would be interested/ enjoy in a series like this!! Cause this would take a lot of planning if i were to do it 🥴

[songficsbyrissi]

I Luv Your Girl (Erik Killmonger x Reader)

“Your Girl chose me, Don't be mad.

Kelly told y'all don't bring 'em in the club,

The way she rock that, got the boy in love,

And I pray that y'all ain't serious, cause seriously shes on my dick.” - The Dream

************************

Tory Lanez’s “Broke in a Minute” emerged from Erik’s Audi R8’s speakers as he drove to the club with 3 of his boys in the car. They’ve been talking about this club for the longest and have been bugging Erik to come with them. Erik finally took a break from his work and decided to come to the club with them.

I ain't been broke in a minute, don't get offended

Tore off the bow in a Bentley, fucking your ho in her kidney

Fuck up the city, I do not dance, I jiggy

Gun is tucked under this Fendi

I like it, I spend it, I just came right out the jeweler

The ice on my neck, and my wrist, and my fist, I ain't finished

Once Erik pulled up to the nightclub, he put his luxury vehicle in park and glanced at the sign on the front of the club.

Envy.

‘Interesting name’ he thought to himself. ‘Shit could be fun’

His boy Jason broke him out of his thoughts by shaking his shoulders from the backseat.

“Oh shitttttt! We here! I’m telling you, my nigga, this club is lit!”

“They got the finest bitches in here.” Another one named Trey who was sitting next to Jason, added.

“You won’t regret this shit, my nigga.” The one in the passenger seat next to him, Sean concluded.

Erik glanced at all of them. “I better not or y’all niggas paying me gas money.”

The men guffawed at Erik’s statement as they exited the vehicle but Erik was as serious as a heart attack. He was fine with the usual club they went to that was closer to his house and not in another city. Unlike his friends, Erik wasn’t hitting the club, desperate to find a woman to take home. He came to have fun and if a shorty caught his eye, he might fuck her in an alley or his car. He avoided taking girls home since that crazy one-night stand that wouldn’t leave that one time.

Erik shuddered at the memory. That was another reason he didn’t go to the club looking for women. Because 95% of the women in there are crazy, horny bitches and he didn’t have the time to deal with that.

Once they got inside, Erik could see his friends weren’t lying. The club was pretty live. Intoxicated and sober people dancing, drinking and having a good time. It was too soon to tell if this club was going to be a waste of time or not. The friends separated and Erik went to the bar to order a drink. He noticed a group of girls staring at him, barely being discreet and whispering amongst themselves. Someone in the group liked him but was too shy to come up to him. Erik scoffed to himself.

He hated it when women never shoot their shot. They expected him to do it all the time. The worst he could say was no. Just come up and ask. Erik knew he was looking handsome with his red v neck t-shirt, black jeans, and Bred 1s on his feet. To top it off, he was wearing gold jewelry which consisted of his gold studs, gold chain, and gold Rolex to match the gold canines in his mouth. He leaned against the bar with his drink in his hand and surveyed the area. That’s when his eyes fell on you.

A beautiful black woman with her natural hair styled in a top knot bun. You were dressed in a sexy red 2 piece bandage spaghetti body con dress. The color complimented your skin tone. You wore it with gold heels. You were matching with him and didn’t even know each other. Erik didn’t think too much into it because 1. You weren’t the only one in this club wearing red and 2. You were sitting on the lap of some man and the way his arm wrapped around your waist, he knew you were taken.

He clicked his tongue. Damn shame. You were the only girl who really caught his eye.

As Erik continued to chill at the bar and downing his drink, he kept getting the stares and looks from beautiful women who couldn’t use their words and considered the stares as them shooting their shots.

“What are you drinking?” Erik heard a woman next to him ask. He turned to see that it was you. Probably getting a drink for your man.

“It’s Henny straight. Your man don’t seem like A Henny drinker. He seems to do light.”

You glanced up at him and he expected you to have an annoyed face but you were amused instead and began to laugh.

“Fuck him. This drink ain’t for him. It’s for me.” You turned to the bartender, leaning over the counter. “Let me get Henny straight.”

Erik raised an eyebrow, observing you as you waited for your drink and once you did, you didn’t babysit it like he did. You drank it all right then and there and he was amazed. Your eyes fell on him and his drink, causing you to giggle.

“Is that one drink your child? Why you babysitting?”

Erik glanced down at his drink and back at you. “I’m DD tonight so I can’t get fucked up.”

“How responsible of you.” You responded in a flirtatious tone, closing the gap between the two of you. Erik was getting turned on. You stuck your hand out.

“I’m Y/N.”

His hand took yours, shaking it. “Erik.”

“Erik.” You repeated his name as if you were trying it out. “I like it. I like how it rolls off my tongue.”

Wow, you were a bold woman and that turned Erik on even more. You weren’t beating around the bush. You were making it clear that you wanted him and it made him want you even more.

“You got a girlfriend or anyone who would be upset that I’m talking to you, Erik?” You questioned brushing a piece of lint of his shoulder. He was astonished now. Who are you?

“Besides those girls over there that have been taking their sweet ass time to talk to me, no. I’m single. I know you’re not.”

You rolled your eyes as Ms. New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx began to play.

“Ooooh that’s my song! I’ll see you later, Erik.” You winked at him, grabbing your second drink and heading to the dance floor. He watched you go and dance and continued to slowly sip his drink. A man tapped Erik on the shoulder and his nostrils were flaring. It was your man. Erik thought he wanted to fight but his anger is mainly directed at you.

“My girl was over here flirting with you?” He inquired, still glaring at you on the dance floor.

Erik was stuck. He was beginning to like you and didn’t want to get you in trouble with your man but on the other hand, if he lied for you, your man was probably not going to believe him. Besides, Erik had better things to do than to get caught between a lovers’ quarrel.

“Nah man. We were just talking about drinks.” He decided to lie so he wasn’t caught in some drama. It’s like the man didn’t hear one word Erik said when he turned to him, clenching his fists.

“You know she’s just doing this shit on purpose? She just flirting with you to piss me off. Don’t take her seriously because I promise you she coming home with me.”

Your boyfriend walked back to his seat and when the song ended, you returned to the bar to chat Erik up some more. You two were in a deep, engaging conversation when Erik looked above your head to see your man glaring at you two.

“Ooh this my song! Dance with me, Erik!”

Before he could say anything, you got up from the stool you were sitting on and grinded slowly against his crotch as he held your waist going along with the rhythm. You turned around, rubbing your pelvis against him and he felt the blood rushing to a certain area of his body.

“Whine slow for me, Tic-Tock for me, Baby you drop it like that.” You sang along as you continued wining with your arms around his neck. Erik looked back to see your man still mugging you guys and put his attention back on you.

“Yo, maybe you should go back to your man. He looking mad as fuck right now.”

“Fuck that nigga.” You replied, still dancing on him.

Erik didn’t stop you. He really liked your ass. Practically loved you. When the song ended, you two returned to the bar where you ordered another drink. Erik could still feel your man burning holes through you two.

“Yo, shorty, your man....you sure you don’t want to go back to him?”

You let out a dry laugh as you stirred your drink. “Didn’t I tell you fuck that nigga?”

“Well that nigga came over here when you were on the dance floor by yourself and said you were just trying to make him jealous. You fine and all, baby girl but I ain’t letting no female use me to make their nigga mad. I’m good on that.” Erik made an effort to leave the bar when you grabbed his wrist, stopping him. You sighed deeply.

“Listen. At first, when I started talking to you, it was to piss him off, I’m not going to lie. I’ve caught this man cheating a couple times before in our relationship and I forgave him each time like a dumbass. Tonight at the club, I caught him flirting with some bitch here and I decided that two can play at that game. I picked the wrong nigga though because once I got to know you, I started to like you and I’m realizing that my relationship with Gerald has died a long time ago. We were just together for convenience at this point.”

Erik began snickering and you had no idea why. “Your nigga’s name is Gerald?”

You joined in on the laugh fest. “Yes! Do you realize how hard that was to moan out? Whenever he asked “whose pussy is this?”, I would just fake a moan. How am I going to confidently say a nigga named Gerald owns this pussy?”

Erik kept chuckling, with his hand sliding up and down your bare thigh. “You’re better off screaming out any other name.”

You smirked deviously. “Would Erik be a better name?”

A smirk grew on his face as well. “Yes it would.”

You leaned in close, pressing your lips against his and he kissed back passionately, holding the back of your neck to suck your bottom lip and your tongue.

You smiled when you broke away from the kiss. “Looks like my birthday is turning out better than I expected.”

“It’s your birthday? Well, I can make it even better if we get out of this club.” He bit his lip, stroking your bottom lip with his thumb.

You pulled back with a force and saw a very angry Gerald right in front of you. His back was towards you and he was facing Erik.

“Nigga, you crossed the line kissing my fucking girl!” He roared clenching his fists, ready to strike.

You pulled him back stepping between them. “I ain’t your girl! Not anymore!”

His glare softened as he looked at you. “What do you mean?”

Erik decided that he was gonna get in the drama. “Your girl chose me, baby boy! You fucked up too many times.”

You pushed Gerald away. “We’re done. Let’s go, Erik.”

Erik saw the pissed expression of Gerald’s face and held his hands up in defense, suppressing a laugh. “Your girl chose me. Don’t be mad. I’ll tell you one thing tho. Imma love her better than you did.”

Gerald took a swing at Erik but Erik dodged in time, causing your ex-boyfriend to spin and fall on the ground. He groaned in pain as everyone stared at him. Erik got in his face, cackling.

“YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT! BY YOURSELF!” He held his stomach, releasing boisterous laughter and calmed down. “Ok being deadass though, I kinda feel bad. But not that bad.”

“Imma....kill...you....nigga.” Gerald groaned while turning to the side.

“Hey this ain’t my fault, playboy. She chose me and you mad as hell at me. But shit, I would be mad too.” Erik glanced at you biting his lip and you smirked in response. He turned back to your ex. “She bad as hell.”

Erik grabbed your hand, leading you out of the club when you two ran into his group of friends he came with.

“What the fuck? Nigga we’ve been here almost every weekend and never picked up a bitch and this nigga E gets one on the first try? Ain’t that some shit?” Sean commented folding his arms as the other two shook their heads.

“Watch your mouth. She ain’t no bitch.” Erik stayed and dapped his boys up. “Aight y’all, be easy. I’m out.”

“Nigga, we came here with you!” Jason exclaimed in disbelief.

“Nigga turns into Mr. Bitches and forgets about his niggas.”

“Damn I forgot.” Erik looked at you. “You cool if I drop these niggas off?”

“Of course. They’re your friends.”

“Damn I like her already!” The 3 boys left the club with you and Erik. Once Erik dropped them off, he looked at you expectedly.

“So what you wanna do, birthday girl?”

“I don’t know. What do you have in mind?” There was a hint of lust in your eyes, causing him to pull you in another kiss.

“So How about I take you back to my house and celebrate your birthday right?”

“I would love that.”

And that night was the best birthday for you and the best club experience for Erik.

TAGS:  @lifelover4u @dessianna1 @brattywriters-anonymous @marvelmaree @purple-apricots @blackpinup22 @heavenwrites17 @slimmiyagi @cancerianprincess @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @vibranium-chakra @nerd-lovely @chaneajoyyy @ohliyaxoxo @chefjessypooh @yourfavoritefavorite @airis-paris14 @ljstraightnochaser @quietstorm-73 @msincognito67 @sociallyawkward18 @mychemicalimagines @nerd-lovely @mareethequeen   @destinio1 @madamslayyy @thehomierobbstark @fd-writes @semianta @raysunshine78 @rbhp @fandom-fangirl22 @shaekingshitup @bakarilennox @queengodiva619 @this-glitter-pussay @itsqu33n @niqui87 @muse-of-mbaku @thickemadame​

[self-loving-vampire]

Fallout: A Post-Nuclear Role-Playing Game (1997)

The Fallout series is currently kind of a big deal, but to date I think the very first game has the strongest atmosphere out of all of them. From the start, this game did many things right and expanded the way choice and consequence figured into the RPG genre.

I recommend playing it with the Fallout Fixt mod.

Summary

Fallout is, unlike the more modern games in the series, an isometric RPG with turn-based combat and a much heavier inspiration from tabletop roleplaying games.

Rather than using a fantasy setting as is the standard for this type of game, Fallout takes place in a post-apocalyptic world with a retrofuturistic aesthetic and a more mature atmosphere. This automatically made it stand out from the crowd, and then the game’s approach to quest design and character-building solidified its place as a classic.

Freedom

In terms of player freedom, there are few games that manage to even reach the same level as this one.

When designing Fallout, the developers tried to include at least three potential solutions to many of the problems the player may encounter, using the game’s robust character creation system to allow all kinds of characters to have options for how to proceed.

For example, an early quest involves rescuing a girl from a raider gang. Your options include fighting your way in and out of the place, using stealth to sneak to where she is and pick (or blow up) the lock, use your speech skill to intimidate the raider into releasing the her, purchasing her freedom, defeating the raider leader in a one-on-one unarmed fight, or even impersonating the leader’s father for her release.

To be clear, not all quests have quite this many options, but there’s still usually a few, including some that may not be obvious when playing certain kinds of characters.

This famously extends to the end of the game, where it is possible to overcome the final challenge without engaging in combat.

On top of quests having multiple solutions, the world itself is completely open, gated only partially by the fact that certain areas are populated by more powerful monsters (and even then, it is possible to avoid them).

While there’s never enough options and I can think of a couple of places where I wish I could have had different ones (such as during the very last conversation in the game), the game is generally doing a lot of things right on this front, especially for its time.

Many of the game’s factions and settlements also have various different endings depending on the player’s actions.

Character Creation/Customization

This is another aspect of the game that won over many RPG fans. The character creation uses the SPECIAL system, invented for this series following licensing issues with GURPS. 

It is a versatile system with three main components: Your SPECIAL stats (Strength, Perception, Endurance, Charisma, Intelligence, Agility, and Luck), your skills (three of which can be tagged at the start of the game, gaining a bonus and increasing faster), and your traits.

Traits in particular were optional features that would grant your character both a bonus and a penalty. For example, the Fast Shot trait makes some of your attacks faster (consuming less action points) but at the cost of being unable to make targeted shots.

And it does not stop there. Fallout had “Perks” that could be gained every 3 levels, which could grant a variety of rewards, some of them very significant. For example, the Better Criticals perk makes your critical hits more devastating, sometimes even enabling them to become instant-kill attacks regardless of the target’s remaining HP. From what I understand, this perk system may have been the genesis of D&D’s feat system too.

However, the real strength of this character system lies in how the game implements it. Both your stats and your skills will affect what dialogue options you have available and what actions you can successfully take in the game world.

This might sound like it should be the default for any RPG, but you might be surprised to know how many games, even otherwise very good ones, don’t seem to even try to implement something like this. 

Many other games, even today, don’t let you specialize your character in any way outside of combat. All characters have access to all options and your stats don’t affect anything but combat.

It’s not all positive, however. There are some balance issues to be found.

In particular, Intelligence and Agility are overpowered, as is the Gifted trait. There are also many skills, traits, and perks that are of marginal usefulness at best. Skills like Throwing, Traps, or Gambling (for example) just don’t come up very often or provide meaningful advantages over other skills even accounting for the fact that a pretty low gambling skill is enough to gain essentially infinite money.

Story/Setting

This is really the part that draws people to the series in the first place. There’s just not that many post-apocalyptic RPGs out there (Wasteland and UnderRail come to mind).

The story is relatively simple. Nuclear war has largely destroyed civilization, your ancestors survived by hiding in an underground shelter called a Vault, but the water processing chip broke and now you have 150 days to find a replacement before your entire community dies of dehydration.

The search of this replacement has you leave the vault for the first time in your life and explore the wastes, and the many diverse communities that have begun to grow and rebuild in it.

Many mutated creatures inhabit post-nuclear California, and you soon discover an even greater threat in the horizon. However, this is not an RPG about dungeons and monsters. Most of your time will be spent in various settlements, dealing with other humans.

Immersion

Pretty good overall, though still not on the level as some of my other favorites like Ultima 7 or Gothic 2. The game has day/night cycles and a few simple NPC schedules that help add some life to it, but for the most part what carries this aspect is the game’s solid worldbuilding and the relative reactivity of its setting.

One areas that detracts from the game’s immersion somewhat is the limited animations. For example, NPCs don’t actually “sleep” in their beds, they only stand next to them at night.

Some NPCs don’t seem to have schedules at all either, remaining roughly in the same state and location throughout the day.

However on the net I’d say this is still a rather immersive game, especially if you can apply a bit of your imagination to make up for the lack of animations and background details (some more text descriptions of certain locations could have helped here probably).

One place I particularly liked the first time I played was Junktown, as a couple of quests and events there felt very spontaneous to my then-young mind.

Gameplay

As previously explained, there are a variety of non-combat options throughout the game. In particular I really like how the dialogue works, especially when you compare it to the approach taken in Fallout 3, Fallout 4, and even New Vegas.

In the first two Fallout games, you do not get a [Speech] tag pointing to the optimal dialogue options. You have to think for yourself about what the most persuasive thing to say is, and what your skill does is make the option show up at all. If your skill is not high enough then the option will be not only unavailable but hidden.

I prefer this to the game outright telling you that one of your skills is tied to a dialogue option, as in practice it ends up being the same as marking that option as the correct one most of the time.

And then there’s the combat. A lot of people don’t seem to like it, but I actually think it works fine as long as you set the speed to max as the animations are a bit slow by default.

Besides the speed issue (which is easily fixed), the main complaint about the combat is that it is overly simple. This is not entirely wrong, as even though there is a wide variety of weapons to play with there is not actually that much variety in combat actions: Move, attack, targeted attack, open inventory (for healing), and sometimes burst mode make up over 95% of what you will be doing from start to finish.

There are still some tactics involved in positioning yourself and taking cover from enemy fire, as well as making good use of targeted shots to cripple the enemy. However, the fact that you have no manual control over your party members limits this front. Party members in general are both unintelligent and quickly left behind in the base game, as they don’t improve or equip better armor. The mechanics for equipping them are also rather janky.

However, combat does have its positives too. The idea of targeted shots is great, as are the accompanying critical descriptions. The animations and sound effects also make combat extremely satisfying, every hit that lands seems to carry a real weight to it.

There is also some nice variety to the death animations. Where more recent games in the series largely just have people’s body parts explode or instantly transform them into piles of ashes/goo, Fallout 1 and 2 feel like they have much more in this department.

Aesthetics

While the non-combat animations are not too good, there is a lot to like about the general art style of the game, from the architecture to the incredible talking heads various NPCs have.

The atmosphere of the game is also amazing, not only due to the way it looks but also because of the dark and ominous soundtrack (give me this over 50s music any day) that helps make the world feel appropriately desolate and perilous.

Even just the game’s intro shocked a generation and clearly marked Fallout as something dark and different.

However, this game’s atmosphere goes beyond sight and sound. The gameplay helps to heighten it. Combat is very lethal even if not always difficult, and the lack of clear initial directions beyond “Try Vault 15″ also helps the players feel appropriately lost until they find a lead.

The talking heads in particular have aged extremely well. I would say they even look better than a lot of modern RPG graphics.

Accessibility

The same lack of direction I just praised might be off-putting for some, and while the game is mechanically very simple there is no tutorial. This alone can make some modern players fail to understand some of the core mechanics.

The quest log is also rather non-descriptive, so it can be easy to lose track of some details unless one takes some additional notes outside the game.

However, the game’s manual is not only complete and written for people new to RPGs, it’s also quite fun to read. A lot of people these days just don’t seem to think of the manual as something they should look at, but it helps to keep in mind that older games typically require it.

Don’t let the size of it discourage you either. You don’t need to read the whole thing at once and a lot of it is fluff or things you might already know from other games (like how to load or save your game). Just look at the index and see what might be good to know from the start.

Conclusion

It should be no surprise when I say that this is a game entirely worth playing, whether you are an existing fan of the series or not. Like many of the other games that I have reviewed and will review in the future, this one has great historical significance on its own on top of having many positives even when compared to the more modern games in the series, especially in terms of aesthetics.

Furthermore, the game is pretty short. It can easily be completed in about 20 hours or less for a first playthrough, and yet it offers so much more than that due to the many options and replayability it provides.

There is really no other game quite like this. Not even the few other post-apocalyptic RPGs that exist, not even other games in the same series (including Fallout 2). I would call this one of my favorites.

[helltalia-inc]

RULES + LIST OF CHALLENGES

RULES 

1. Pick a challenge from the List of Challenges;

2. Create whatever you want, as you want;

3. Use the tag #helltalia-inc and @ with the name of the page;

4. And don’t forget to have fun!

Not that hard, right?

 More info:

· There are no language barriers here, so feel free to use the language that you feel the most comfortable to express yourself;

· Bad behavior will not be tolerated;

· Feel free to use any characters and any ships;

· Take attention to tag your ships, any warming or triggering content;

· And for the last, but not least… support the “CONTENT CREATORS”!

 LIST OF CHALLENGES

(This list will be updated occasionally. Feel free to search for the number of the challenges, for example like #1, or #20, I made sure to tag every work with the number of the challenge. So, if you want to see the works related to each challenge, you just have to search in the page by the number. And, of course, feel free to use the challenges to inspire your future works.)

 1. Favorite Character

2. Egg Themed

3. Books + Favorite Trio

4. Your living country + his national flower

5. Crossing the line with the Star Wars Universe

6. Pajama Party + Female Characters Only

7. Revenge the Hetavision

8. Wedding dress

9. Child’s Day

10. Recycle, Reduce, Reutilize

11. Nordics appreciation challenge

12. LGBT Respect Day

13. “If you meant it, kiss me”

(Just to record it: starting from here, it was added as option, the “challenge quote”) 

14. National Animal + The Country where you live / “No matter where I go, my heart will always be yours”

15. Healthy Food Habits/ “But loving you had consequences”

16. World Day of Friendship/ “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone had good taste.”

17. REVENGE FIFATALIA/ “I’m so sick of lying. I have to tell you…”

18. ROCK IN HETALIA / “the music is the language of feelings”

19. Stuck on a desert island/ “I’m so sorry I kissed you, my mouth just slipped”  

20. ICE CREAM AND WATERMELON/ ”I wouldn’t do that if I were you”  

21. Pirate and Mermaids AU/ “That’s the summer when we first met”  

22. Aquarium park / “It is easier to pretend we are strong; it is much harder to admit we are weak; a true friend, by loving every part of us, teaches us to love our weaknesses”

23. Crossover with one of your favorite movies / “The two of us, we’re the best kind of disaster. Apples and oranges. Well, more like apples and machetes.”

24. Alice in the Wonderland AU / “I really did think you were cute when you were jealous.”

25. Improvised Olympic Games out of Season/ “I’d find you whenever you were.”

26. Ancients Countries Appreciation Challenge / “Chaos isn’t meant to be understood”

27. University AU / “Never say “Goodbye””

28. Color’ (or body or personality) swap / “Puns are the highest form of literature.”

29. Crossover with Sesame Street or The Muppets / “I’ve missed you. But it seems like you’re not happy to see me.”

30. Alter Ego AU / “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have even come here tonight.”

31. Your favorite writer + his respective nation / “I wanted to end the world, but I’ll settle for ending yours.”

32. Candle in the dark / “I’m pregnant”

33. Orchestra AU / “You can run, but you can’t escape”

34. Trapped in a maze / “Can you keep a secret?”

35. Wingtalia / “Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off”

36. Space, stars, moon / “You’re better than you think.”

37. Villain AU / “I don’t want to sleep alone today. Will you sleep with me?”

38. African nations / “You promised that we would always be together… now, how I’m supposed to live without you?”

39. Love potion / "We didn't realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun"

40. Treasure hunt / “The only thing you’re good at is fake crying”

41. Asian nations / “You can see me?”

42. National desert / “Nice try. Better luck next time”

43. Death note AU / “How long will you keep me waiting?”

44. Kabedon / “What is your problem?”  

45. Siblings / “Don’t just say nice things, give me advice.”

46. The 7 deadly sins / “Take that stupid grin off your face”

47. Reincarnation AU / “We have only one chance at life. And I want to live a life with no regrets.”

48. Autumn / “You said I could do whatever I wanted.”

49. Red apple / “I want to crush anyone who dares to touch you. I want to hide you, monopolize you.”

50. Hot chocolate / “It’s too late now.”

51. Tarot Cards / “Take your hands off of me.”

52. Summon Demons /”Have I done something wrong?”

53. Ouija / “That’s the one thing I regret the most in my life.”

54. Underworld / “If you want, we could swap secrets.”

55. Supernatural creatures / “Close your eyes and listen carefully.”

56. Hunter / “Even though it isn’t a big deal now, it will be later.”

57. Shadow / “You helped me become who I am.”

58. Bloody sunset / “If you took well care of it from the beginning, then none of this would’ve happened.”

59. Ghost mansion / ”What the hell do you want from me?”

60. Mysterious box / “It’s not extreme, it’s the most effective way.”

61. Scream / “What makes you think I’ve changed?”

62. Evil laugh / “I thought I knew you better than this...”

63. Superstition / “There are times when it’s dangerous to approach something or someone when you don’t have sufficient knowledge about them.”

64. Roses / ”My understanding is that faith is something that one builds up through actions.”

65. Destiny / “I don’t want to live like that.”

66. Coincidence / “Growth always follows hardship.”

67. Broken heart / “They want me to find happiness more than anyone else.”

68. The wedding day / “You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

69. Slow dance / “It’s better to spend the rest of my lifetime alone, than being stupid and crying over someone who broke my trust.”

70. By my side / “Time flew by.”

71. Holding hands / “I gave you a chance to pretend that nothing happened.”

72. Friendzone / “I won’t run away this time.”

72. Rejection / “Sorry, I let my emotions get the best of me.”

73. Forever alone / “If they’re your friends, they’ll understand and be happy for you. Just like how you were for them.”

74. BDSM / “Whatever you choose, I’ll respect your decision.”

75. Dirty talking / “You’re just taking advantage of the people around you.”

76. Love letter / “Money and Status... you’re nothing without those things.”

77. First love / “Seeing you happy means the world to me.”

78. First time / “Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest, it’s about who came and never left.”

79. Crush / “I’m in a threesome with anxiety and depression.”

80. Decorations / “Just fantasizing about it isn’t enough for me.”

81. Presents / “You just have to work hard to turn it into a reality.”

82. Traditions / “Anger cannot be dishonest.”

83. Family Dinner / “Relationships are like glass, sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than trying to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

84. Friends / “I’m glad I at least left an impression on you. Though apparently, it’s a negative one.”

85. Figure skating / “The mirror is my best friend because when I cry it doesn’t laugh.”

86. Snowboard / “The saddest people have the brightest smile.”

87. Ski / “I don’t think we wasted a single second.”

88. Hockey / “I wish I knew I was in the good old days before they became the good old days.”

89. Snow globe / “Those who are already dead don’t care about those who are still alive.”

90. Acts of kindness / “People only listen and believe in what they think is entertaining.”

91. Aurora Borealis / “If this is for the best.”

92. Church bell / “The more envy you show, the worse you look.”

93. The little match girl / “Whatever you do, I’ll never be disappointed in you.”

94. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star / “When people brag so openly about their past, if often means, that they have nothing to brag about now.”

95. Heart made of ice / “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

96. Message on a bottle / “I never truly fell in love with anyone.”

97. Bubbles / “This is all very suspicious... extremely suspicious.”

98. End of the world / “I was afraid kindness would make me weak.”

99. Halloween dolls / “No hard feelings but I hate you.”

100. Redemption / “I should apologize for this. But I won’t.”

101. Femme fatale / “Do you think you can handle it?”

102. (more challenges will be added eventually. If you want, send your challenge’ suggestions to the Ask Box)

 Note: Most of the quotes aren’t mine and have no source.

[neurosengarten]

• Learn how to learn from those you disagree with, or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.

• Being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points.

• Always demand a deadline. A deadline weeds out the extraneous and the ordinary. It prevents you from trying to make it perfect, so you have to make it different. Different is better.

• Don’t be afraid to ask a question that may sound stupid because 99% of the time everyone else is thinking of the same question and is too embarrassed to ask it.

• Being able to listen well is a superpower. While listening to someone you love keep asking them “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

• A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier.

• Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.

• Treating a person to a meal never fails, and is so easy to do. It’s powerful with old friends and a great way to make new friends.

• Don’t trust all-purpose glue.

• Reading to your children regularly will bond you together and kickstart their imaginations.

• Never use a credit card for credit. The only kind of credit, or debt, that is acceptable is debt to acquire something whose exchange value is extremely likely to increase, like in a home. The exchange value of most things diminishes or vanishes the moment you purchase them. Don’t be in debt to losers.

• Pros are just amateurs who know how to gracefully recover from their mistakes.

• Extraordinary claims should require extraordinary evidence to be believed.

• Don’t be the smartest person in the room. Hangout with, and learn from, people smarter than yourself. Even better, find smart people who will disagree with you.

• Rule of 3 in conversation. To get to the real reason, ask a person to go deeper than what they just said. Then again, and once more. The third time’s answer is close to the truth.

• Don’t be the best. Be the only.

• Everyone is shy. Other people are waiting for you to introduce yourself to them, they are waiting for you to send them an email, they are waiting for you to ask them on a date. Go ahead.

• Don’t take it personally when someone turns you down. Assume they are like you: busy, occupied, distracted. Try again later. It’s amazing how often a second try works.

• The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.

• Promptness is a sign of respect.

• When you are young spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as you can, owning as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way any time you have to risk something in the future you won’t be afraid of the worst case scenario.

• Trust me: There is no “them”.

• The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you. To be interesting, be interested.

• Optimize your generosity. No one on their deathbed has ever regretted giving too much away.

• To make something good, just do it. To make something great, just re-do it, re-do it, re-do it. The secret to making fine things is in remaking them.

• The Golden Rule will never fail you. It is the foundation of all other virtues.

• If you are looking for something in your house, and you finally find it, when you’re done with it, don’t put it back where you found it. Put it back where you first looked for it.

• Saving money and investing money are both good habits. Small amounts of money invested regularly for many decades without deliberation is one path to wealth.

• To make mistakes is human. To own your mistakes is divine. Nothing elevates a person higher than quickly admitting and taking personal responsibility for the mistakes you make and then fixing them fairly. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is.

• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.

• You can obsess about serving your customers/audience/clients, or you can obsess about beating the competition. Both work, but of the two, obsessing about your customers will take you further.

• Show up. Keep showing up. Somebody successful said: 99% of success is just showing up.

• Separate the processes of creation from improving. You can’t write and edit, or sculpt and polish, or make and analyze at the same time. If you do, the editor stops the creator. While you invent, don’t select. While you sketch, don’t inspect. While you write the first draft, don’t reflect. At the start, the creator mind must be unleashed from judgement.

• If you are not falling down occasionally, you are just coasting.

• Perhaps the most counter-intuitive truth of the universe is that the more you give to others, the more you’ll get. Understanding this is the beginning of wisdom.

• Friends are better than money. Almost anything money can do, friends can do better. In so many ways a friend with a boat is better than owning a boat.

• This is true: It’s hard to cheat an honest man.

• When an object is lost, 95% of the time it is hiding within arm’s reach of where it was last seen. Search in all possible locations in that radius and you’ll find it.

• You are what you do. Not what you say, not what you believe, not how you vote, but what you spend your time on.

• If you lose or forget to bring a cable, adapter or charger, check with your hotel. Most hotels now have a drawer full of cables, adapters and chargers others have left behind, and probably have the one you are missing. You can often claim it after borrowing it.

• Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was a poison.

• There is no limit on better. Talent is distributed unfairly, but there is no limit on how much we can improve what we start with.

• Be prepared: When you are 90% done any large project (a house, a film, an event, an app) the rest of the myriad details will take a second 90% to complete.

• When you die you take absolutely nothing with you except your reputation.

• Before you are old, attend as many funerals as you can bear, and listen. Nobody talks about the departed’s achievements. The only thing people will remember is what kind of person you were while you were achieving.

• For every dollar you spend purchasing something substantial, expect to pay a dollar in repairs, maintenance, or disposal by the end of its life.

•Anything real begins with the fiction of what could be. Imagination is therefore the most potent force in the universe, and a skill you can get better at. It’s the one skill in life that benefits from ignoring what everyone else knows.

• When crisis and disaster strike, don’t waste them. No problems, no progress.

• On vacation go to the most remote place on your itinerary first, bypassing the cities. You’ll maximize the shock of otherness in the remote, and then later you’ll welcome the familiar comforts of a city on the way back.

• When you get an invitation to do something in the future, ask yourself: would you accept this if it was scheduled for tomorrow? Not too many promises will pass that immediacy filter.

• Don’t say anything about someone in email you would not be comfortable saying to them directly, because eventually they will read it.

• If you desperately need a job, you are just another problem for a boss; if you can solve many of the problems the boss has right now, you are hired. To be hired, think like your boss.

• Art is in what you leave out.

• Acquiring things will rarely bring you deep satisfaction. But acquiring experiences will.

• Rule of 7 in research. You can find out anything if you are willing to go seven levels. If the first source you ask doesn’t know, ask them who you should ask next, and so on down the line. If you are willing to go to the 7th source, you’ll almost always get your answer.

• How to apologize: Quickly, specifically, sincerely.

• Don’t ever respond to a solicitation or a proposal on the phone. The urgency is a disguise.

• When someone is nasty, rude, hateful, or mean with you, pretend they have a disease. That makes it easier to have empathy toward them which can soften the conflict.

• Eliminating clutter makes room for your true treasures.

• You really don’t want to be famous. Read the biography of any famous person.

• Experience is overrated. When hiring, hire for aptitude, train for skills. Most really amazing or great things are done by people doing them for the first time.

• A vacation + a disaster = an adventure.

• Buying tools: Start by buying the absolute cheapest tools you can find. Upgrade the ones you use a lot. If you wind up using some tool for a job, buy the very best you can afford.

• Learn how to take a 20-minute power nap without embarrassment.

• Following your bliss is a recipe for paralysis if you don’t know what you are passionate about. A better motto for most youth is “master something, anything”. Through mastery of one thing, you can drift towards extensions of that mastery that bring you more joy, and eventually discover where your bliss is.

• I’m positive that in 100 years much of what I take to be true today will be proved to be wrong, maybe even embarrassingly wrong, and I try really hard to identify what it is that I am wrong about today.

• Over the long term, the future is decided by optimists. To be an optimist you don’t have to ignore all the many problems we create; you just have to imagine improving our capacity to solve problems.

• The universe is conspiring behind your back to make you a success. This will be much easier to do if you embrace this pronoia.

[naanima]

Joy of Life (庆余年) - Cdrama Rec!!!!

Joy of Life (庆余年) is a Chinese television series based on the novel Qing Yunian (庆余年) by Mao Ni (who has written several popular series). The story is a transmigration series! Yes, a transmigration series. The tv series in the first few mins set up the premise, what if a modern person is sent to ancient China (feudal area) with modern beliefs and morals.

Our main character (Zhang Ruoyun whom I have watched a tonne of series I would normally not watch for) is transmigrated to an alternative universe ancient China in the body of an infant called Fan Xian who is being protected from being assassinated. Yes, people are trying to kill a new born because of his mother. Fan Xian is saved by Wuzhu, the blind folded martial artist who is all protecting Fan Xian, killing anyone who tries to kill Fan Xian, and picking fights. I love Wuzhu, he is one of my favs in the book and show full of awesome characters.

Wuzhu takes Fan Xian to the kid’s grandmother. Fan Xian is the son of the Imperial Secretariat Fan Jian. Fan Xian grows up in an estate with his grandmother, and protected by Wuzhu. At the age of eighteen, Fan Xian is recalled to the capital by his father due to Fan Xian’s impending political marriage with a princess. The princess happens to the illegitimate daughter of the Grand Princess who is in control of the inner treasury or underwear. If Fan Xian was to successfully marry the princess he would become the person in control of the inner treasury, which makes him an extremely popular among all sort of court officials and the Crown Princess and the Second Prince. And hence start Fan Xian’s troubles; assassination attempts, political pitfalls, the princes courting of his power, the Grand Princess’ plans, the emperor’s interests and so much more.

Here ends the basic summary. Now why you should watch this.

The PACING and script of this show is amazing. We can all admit that 95% of Chinese television shows suffer from pacing issues. JoL does not have that problem at all, the script is tight and fast, and actually follows logic. The script is written by Wang Juan, he who write amazing scripts. So, it is fucking great that he has kept up the excellent record of great scripts.

The cast is amazing – I love Zhang Ruoyun, I have watched so much crap for Zhang Ruoyun and have never regretted. Even when the production he is in is mediocre I can still accept it. But beyond zry, the young cast are all excellent, many of them with years of experience in theatre or smaller roles. The older cast are full award winning actors, and let me tell you, there is nothing like watching three old dudes talk and just being drawn in by the ACTING. The sheer amazing master class acting.  

The characters – YOU WILL LOVE OR AT THE VERY LEAST BE ENTERTAINED BY EVERY CHARACTER. Fan Xian, our main lead who likes to troll others, is super smart, and just want to live a life of peace and comfort. But what is better than Fan Xian is when he is surrounded by a host of people who often smacks him down for when he is being too much of a smug little shit. Fan Xian’s family are so supportive and hilarious in their own way; there is his stone faced father who loves him dearly, his younger sister who is eager and trust him 100%, his younger brother who only wants to make money not to use it but just because he likes money, his stepmother who isn’t the smartest but once she accepted him would stand in front of him and an incoming army. THEY ARE JUST SUCH A GOOD FAMILY.

There is the Emperor, who is both amazing and fucking terrifying. Here you have an emperor who is in complete control of his empire, and one is forever questioning his motives. The Grand Princess who is playing games, the Crown Prince who always seem a tad behind, and the Second Prince who eats, reads books, and likes to clear out sections of town to eat and wait in peace. They are all amazing and fucking terrifying in their own way.

There is a whole host characters; men, women, old and young, and they are so interesting and even the bad guys you feel sorry for because in many cases they are making decisions based on their environment. And I haven’t even touched on Fan Xian’s helpers, his fiancé (SO ADORABLE).

And yeah, Xiao Zhan is in it, but it is minor role, and I’m not going to say anymore in fear of spoilers.

Other things of awesome:

The action sequences are decent, better than a lot of other tripe that was released this year.

Makeup is not over the top, most of the women are white as snow, but at least still looks human. Yes, Chinese people do have tan.

I like the costumes, they are actually functional. I know a lot has been made about the ugle hair and headpieces in this show, but honestly not any worse than a lot of the other historical stuff.

It is HILARIOUS. I cannot say how funny some of this shit is. I laughed so hard.

Fan Xian’s mother. You don’t see her, but almost person of a certain age and in power has opinions of memories of her and because of her they want to protect Fan Xian.

The POLITICS!!! AHHHH! I LOVE IT! And it really highlights the many various powers in play in an Imperial court. There isn’t just two sides, there is about a hundred sides with different and shifting alliances.

The WOMEN and relationships. Look, I hate about 99% of het romances in c-drama because people become fucking idiots when they fall in love. It is trying and so annoying. Nobody here is dumb about love, yes, Fan Xian loves Wan’er (his fiancé) but he won’t sacrifice ignore wrongs done or doing the right thing just because he is in love. Every woman in this show is different and unique and I fucking love it.

How every person have their own story, just because you are the designated bad guy doesn’t mean there is no good in you. There are several characters in this show that has done horrible horrible things and yet I still felt something when they died. It is good storytelling.

LOOK, PEOPLE. I hardly rec things, I scream about stuff I like, but I rarely make an actual rec post on the things I watch or read because a lot of time they are things I personally find fun but I wouldn’t waste the time writing a rec post. But GODS, WATCH THIS SHOW. It is honestly my top 2019 show, and I for one cannot wait for season 2.

The English subs are on youtube.

Join me so we can scream together.