#like i had nothing to talk abt

[evellys--blog]

daily ramblings in the notes (3 am adition)

is anyone else rlly worried abt being boring to other ppl?? or is that just me lol

[hinamie]

spiraling

[haliaiii]

reading up on argenti’s lore

[trans-leek-cookie]

yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.

The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next tw: anxiety attack

[sluckythewizard]

FIIIINALLY almost nailed my designs for lizzie and caspian can i get a HEEEELLL YEAAH???? i think these two make a vvery cute duo and i cannt wait to see them again. i also hope they both get hurt reaaaallly really badly. togeter

[cent-scratchnsniff]

something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[slamrink]

Nothing to see here just steph stealing glances of klay like he’s afraid he’s going to get caught 😃😃 (via namxsj on twitter )

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?

put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings

[rbtlvr]

loop isat you make me so ill

[hinamie]

all i have left

[torahtot]

you can always tell when someone doesn't have maga men in their life and god it makes me angry.. "if you're nice and compassionate you can be the one woman that makes them realize women aren't mean!" my mom bent over backwards for my dad for 25 fucking years he has plenty of other women kissing his ass and it never changed anything. do you really think that before being radicalized they never knew a single kind woman? they were never friends with a nice girl? alt-right men's problem with women isn't just that they've experienced too many mean women and they need to be shown that women can be nice, it's that they think women are inferior and don't deserve rights and don't understand anything so you can do what you want with them. and it takes a lot more than being nice to show someone that you aren't inferior. this isn't a case of being nice even when it's hard for the sake of deradicalization, it's about spending every fucking interaction with someone trying to get them to see you as a human being with value and a functioning intellect while they just laugh and show you that's never going to happen.

i cannot stress this enough: random women are not just going out and Being Mean to men. ur average guy interacts with plenty of women throughout his life- close women amongst their friends and family, casual interactions etc. most people don't start out being shunned by women, they start out being treated as NORMAL. & when they show their disrespect in normal society, it isn't tolerated, but when they go to alt-right spaces (which they're pushed towards online) they're told they're allowed to be as horrible as they want with no consequences because they're entitled to everything. it isn't "women aren't welcoming and the alt-right is so friendly so i'll become alt-right," it's "women don't let me disrespect them and the alt-right tells me fuck them, do whatever you want, you're entitled to it all" and why would you choose the group where you have to be a normal accountable person when there's a group that will reward you for being a shithead who gives no fucks?

the alt-right can afford to be more friendly and welcoming because they can allow bigotry. this can't work the same way for progressive spaces because we can be as kind & welcoming as possible but at the end of the day we have lines where we have to say "this behavior/speech isn't allowed in this space," and for certain people, that just can't win against a space where you can be as nasty as you want. these posts always end with a disclaimer saying "of course being kind doesnt mean you need to tolerate their bigotries" but what they don't realize and what drives me crazy is that women not tolerating bigotry IS the "women are mean" that radicalized them in the first place. they perceive you pushing back on any bigotry or bullshit as you being a meanie and treating them like they're ontologically evil. the 'kindness' they need to be deradicalized is you letting them walk all over you.

idk what the answer is to deradicalizing them and im sure relationships are part of it but you can be as kind as you want and all it will do is destroy you ime. i cant stand to see people (who have never even successfully deradicalized any man by being nice btw they always speak in hypotheticals and not from experience) double down on telling women to do things that will see no results and only hurt them, especially when any woman who has tried can tell you exactly how it went

[ruegarding]

Hey, quick question if you don't mind me asking but what are your thoughts on Drew Tanaka as a character and how she was portrayed in HOO?

canon drew...well. i rbed this post that says "drew was not written as a character but rather a human obstacle who needed to be feminine so the ‘not like other girls’ could defeat her," and i think that summarizes it perfectly. she exists exclusively to make piper look good, which is a real shame bc drew could've been interesting. as-is, drew is not only uninteresting, piper is also uninteresting by extension. it'd be like if nancy was one of percy's greatest obstacles in tlt.

more under the cut bc i'm incapable of keeping things short.

here, in her introduction, not only is drew, a feminine girl, vain, she's also weak and unintimidating, a triple whammy right away! she has no reason to be antagonistic towards piper here, they literally just got to camp. piper's crime right now is *checks notes* not looking cute and existing next to a "good-looking guy." oh, yeah, btw drew likes jason for being hot and powerful.

this triple whammy isn't even restricted to drew, it's the entire aphrodite cabin. they all giggle when drew flirts w jason and when piper is uncomfortable being "gorgeous" and are too scared and weak to stand up to drew. the two exceptions are a guy who got in trouble for saying piper "might not be so bad" and a girl who's afraid of ugly shoes. what an uninteresting take.

anyway, moments like this

are everywhere. now, let's remember for a moment that the aphrodite cabin (including drew!) fought in a war where they were outnumbered and won. but yeah, their biggest strength is their ability to "make an orange t-shirt glamorous" bc piper is the only one out of them who can *checks notes* uhhh run? charmspeak on a quest? carry a knife? she doesn't even know how to fight in tlh! she wasn't at camp for more than two days, she never had any fighting experience! the fact that she's being called tougher than ppl who fought in a war makes me grit my teeth. and thalia was there when it happened!

and it doesn't even makes sense bc we see aphrodite like this is ttc

and she says this in tlh

(also sidenote: why is aphrodite's claiming so egregious and uncomfortable then? it's like rick has a moment of clarity and realizes he's being stupid and then immediately fucks it up again.)

this is interesting! and some of these kids (including drew!) would have met this aphrodite during the solstices. so portraying drew and the aphrodite cabin as a bunch of shallow kids obsessed w makeup that need to be saved by piper "not like other girls" mclean is so contrived. and constantly bringing up how piper's so much better than those shallow and weak aphrodite kids makes piper's entire character grating. rick brings up aneaus repeatedly throughout tlh, a son of venus/aphrodite that founded rome. why are we acting like aphrodite children are weak and stupid when we could be exploring literally anything else? like, you know, how they're traumatized?

and the thing is, he brings up silena! and it's done terribly. piper, who never knew silena and never will, lecturing drew, someone who knew silena and was betrayed by her, has always pissed me off. piper relating to silena bc she feels like she's in the same position? good, that's fine, i have no problem w this. but acting like she knew silena to ppl who actually did and then preaching abt what silena believed should've gotten her smacked (rick didn't even addressed the actual important part, which is how the other campers feel abt silena or how they feel abt surviving a war).

then when piper challenges drew, again, drew fought in a war while piper hasn't trained for a single day, why are we acting like piper could beat drew in a fight? piper can't even use charmspeak bc drew's resistant to it! that's the one advantage piper has! writing it like this comes off like piper is only strong as long as everyone else is weak. she's not rising to a challenge, her competitor is just so pathetic that she can overpower them. she didn't earn her strength. that's not good character development! so we're throwing two entire character arcs away for this!

what really gets me abt all of this is that piper didn't need to be a counselor. piper needed a place to belong. making drew nothing more than a stepping-stone was completely unnecessary, and making the aphrodite cabin weak and vain was redundant bc we already had an example w silena (and again, all the kids that fought in a war). as it is in canon, drew's character is a great example of some of rick's biggest writing flaws.

[oldmanfuckerbrigade]

please tell me you're going to expand on why the newsies movie is perfection and the musical is ass, I'd love to see it

(because you are right)

yknow, i was gonna save my rant for my imaginary video essay but it’s too in my head now so i might as well do the deep dive here. you asked so i shall deliver! (Be forewarned this is long as fuck i didnt know how much i needed to say until i started writing this)

Newsies is a (Gay) Love Story and That’s Why The Musical Fails™️

Ok. So. First and foremost, let’s talk about Newsies 1992. To be fair to my own biases, I have a very strong personal connection to 92sies, it was the first musical I ever saw on screen - one of the first movies I ever watched PERIOD - and some of my first memories are of listening to the soundtrack. So you could, on a certain level, chalk up my vehemence about its quality to my fondness for it, and I will gladly admit to that.

BUT. I have now been on this earth for 20 years, and in those 20 years I’ve watched a lot of movies, and a LOT of musicals (and am now studying film full time yippee for me). So I think I can say confidently, with my broadened tastes, that Newsies (1992) is a goddamn masterpiece of a movie musical.

It succeeds spectacularly in both regards, as a film and a musical. It had a stacked deck going in honestly, with directing and choreo both done by Kenny Ortega of High School Musical fame, as well as music by the inimitable Alan Menken. You know this shit was boutta pop off. From a filmmaking standpoint, it’s beautiful. Gorgeous matte paintings in the wide shots, fantastic set work and costume design, as well as the lighting and cinematography being on. fucking. point. every damn time it’s so good it makes me sick. You don’t even need me to say anything about the acting, cause we already know it’s phenomenal.

As a musical, it’s also right on the money. Every tenet of musical theater is respected, we have our intro ensemble number, introducing us to the world, the people within it, and the stakes of the story that we’ll follow. We have our absolute fucking BANGER of an “i want” song which Christian Bale puts his whole Baleussy into. And ofc we have some fantastic call-to-action, come-together, and uplifting songs and dance numbers.

But most importantly, every song does the one of two things any musical theater number should do: advance the story or give us insight into a characters thoughts and feelings. Let’s talk about them all in order (i promise this is gonna tie in to the stage show in a second just bare with me):

The Music

Carrying the Banner is ofc our opening theme, introducing us to the world and characters. Where and when are we, who are the heroes of our story? This is the “known” part of our hero’s journey, the home base and the place to which we will return. This is our Normal Time.

Santa Fe is, as we all know, Jack’s “I want” song, the song that tells the audience the hopes and dreams of our main character, so we can understand, well, what he wants. We can discover through this song what Jack’s character is all about. Through both what he has, what he lacks (or perceives he does) and what he hopes to gain. Jack has no family, he’s alone, but he has seemingly given up on ever being NOT alone, so he pins all his hopes for a better life on the mirage of Santa Fe. If he can pave his own way in the world, leave the city which has done nothing but take from him, maybe he can feel whole again. He’s a dreamer, despite his rough exterior, and he dreams of a life of freedom, beyond what he can find in New York. So there we get, all wrapped in a tidy bow, the essence of Jack Kelly’s character. a deeper look beyond what we have seen up until this point. Ok moving on.

In between Santa Fe and The World Will Know we have a small song which Medda sings. While that song in and of itself isn’t terribly important (it’s just part of her show), the scene that it’s in is VERY important. This is where we have an introduction to one of the few people we could consider part of Jack’s family, as a sort of mother/aunt figure. Overall it serves to give Jack more humanity, therefore giving our audience surrogate David (and hey i’m gonna go off about Davey just gimme a minute) more reason to trust Jack, and thereby the audience can trust him as well. We also get a little interaction between Jack and Davey that was pretty much ripped wholecloth from the movie and supplanted on Jack and Katherine in the show. It’s literally the same shit, Dave and Katherine are mistrustful of Jack and his intentions, they argue, it’s homoerotic as fuck, and it all takes place at the theater. (And also we get the one scene in the movie that does a weak ass attempt to un-gay David by having him drool over a pretty lady. It does not work lmfao).

The World Will Know is a standard call-to-action, but it by no means is mid-tier in any way. This shit slaps. HARD. We have Jack as the voice of the people convincing the gang of erstwhile children to band together with him on this, and stand up for their rights. This is also the first real time we get Jack and David teaming up to achieve a goal. Jack may be the voice of the people, but it’s David who’s the brains behind the operation, knowing what to say and do, while Jack has the respect and tenacity to put it forward. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. BECAUSE THE STAGE SHOW ALL BUT BRUSHES OFF DAVID’S INVOLVEMENT IN THIS SCENE, SO IT NO LONGER SERVES IT ENTIRE PURPOSE. A big secondary point of this scene is to illustrate that while Jack and David are strong boys independently, they work so much better together, and are able to achieve what they wouldn’t normally, alone. And the musical does not understand this. But i’ll get to that later.

Seize the Day is David’s first step towards standing in his own power. The newsies are losing steam on the strike train after Brooklyn refuses to join so David is the one to raise everyone’s morale and bring back their fighting spirit, getting all the other boys to take up the call, preaching brotherhood and community, the strength of standing together. Here is your come-together song. But this is the important thing: It’s David who does it. The song becomes an ensemble number as it goes on but HE is the one who STARTS it. David was hesitant to really rally behind the strike at first, but now he’s all in, he’s connected with the boys and he believes in the cause (thanks to the spirit that Jack brought to it, and how much Jack believe in it cough cough). He does start it in the musical as well, but the tone is very different, it’s only after Jack’s urging that he says anything. Bro didn’t even have to say shit in the movie. But whatever moving on.

King of New York is a hard song to mess up. It’s just good. and fun. and I like it. It probably has the least to do with moving the plot forward or giving us an internal look on any specific characters. It’s an ensemble and dance number. I do like it better in the movie rather than onstage, though that’s mostly personal preference. The stage show kind of beats it to death, like why is it 10 minutes long I swear to god. They know it’s a good song and they wanna capitalize on it, which makes it all seem kind of transparently cynical to me. it’s still like, good and the dancers are on top of it but….its too much y'know. The movie just has a good time with it. Because it’s a good time. Also Jack is there in the movie and he’s not in the stage show for some reason, I forget why. Probably because of some plot contrivance they got from trying to shove new elements into an already lock tight story. sorry ok back to actual critique.

Once and For All is like maybe my favorite song of the whole soundtrack. It just eats. Every time. This is the song we should play while smashing in the heads of the capitalist pigs that run our stupid fucking country. It’s a banger. AND it moves the plot forward, which is always a slay. Let’s make that underground pape and radicalize all the child workers being abused across the city!! yeah!!!

And then we got our TWWK and CtB reprises to tie up the ending in a neat little bow, bringing us back around the our beginning, a la the hero’s journey. We’ve completed our circle and are back to the beginning, changed but better for it, with our characters at transformed equilibrium, the evil vanquished, and bright days ahead. Jack realizes that he doesn’t need to chase the illusion of Santa Fe when what he really wants and needs is to be with the people who love him, the family that was right under his nose the whole time. David is a full fledged newsie, has come out of his shell, become more confident in himself, and his relationship with Jack is assured. So. Let’s talk about Jack and David.

Jack and David

Historians would call them “good friends”. This whole section is gonna be me preaching to the choir, so to speak, so I’ll try and keep this concise. We all know they’re gay, everyone and their mother knows they’re gay, so why is it important? It’s not like that shit is actually baked into the story right? WRONG. Jack and David are at the heart of the story of Newsies. Jack may be the “““main character”””, but David is the impetus for the events of the story, the driving force behind the plot. He is, in essence, the call to adventure that our hero Jack receives at the start of his arc.

He is also the audience surrogate. It’s through him that we learn the ways of the newsies, the ins and outs of the newsboy life, the trials and tribulations. It’s through him that we come to know Jack’s character on a deeper level. We only get Santa Fe after Jack has met Dave’s family (talk about U-Haul lesbians like my god he knew the guy for a DAY and he was already meeting the parents), and we get to see how seeing David’s loving family is painful for Jack, how he grieves that lack of connection but copes by pinning his hopes on Santa Fe. Most everywhere we see Jack go, we see it because David goes too. (MOST. There are exceptions, like his talk with Pulitzer. But of course, David is still RELEVANT in that scene). We see the story through David’s eyes.

Which is why the musical fails.

Because in the musical, David is so far removed from the narrative you could replace him with any guy and it would still work. He is an after thought, all but scrubbed from the script, and for why???

This I don’t have an answer for, which is really frustrating. My best guess is that it was a well-intentioned but misguided attempt to tighten up the script by placing Jack as the main character. And to make room for Katherine.

Oh Katherine….I used to really vehemently hate Katherine, and her addition to the story. I’ve obviously grown since then, I can recognize her importance as a woman within the story, and how that is important for young people to see in media. But also. She is unnecessary. TO THE PLOT. I won’t speak to her necessity from a larger, misogyny-on-the-world-stage level, but to the actual plot itself she is completely unnecessary. And you know how I know? Because they took movie David’s whole personality and just copy and pasted it onto her.

Ok now hear me out, I KNOW that it is not 1:1, but it really doesn’t have to be. If you step back and look at the bare essentials, it is the same shit. Jack and Katherine have the same enemies to lovers type dynamic that was Davey and Jack’s in the movie. There’s the initial mistrust, the dislike, she’s very professional, and kind of a know-it-all. Jack is the charming street rat, all dry wit and golden retriever energy. They tease and bicker and snap at each other. Exactly like Dave and Jack did in 92. Watching both versions back to back made this almost glaringly obvious to me. Like it was actually kind of shocking how obvious it was.

And the thing is, I understand why they did it! Sarah was such a nothingburger character in the movie (sorry Sarah, love you in fics, hate your actress with a burning passion) that they knew they had to add SOMETHING more to any potential romance subplot, and if they were conveniently sidelining David’s character anyway, why not take some cues from the most powerful relationship in the film? I understand the logic behind it, I really do.

But. That still leaves David, flopping around the script like a severed limb, with nowhere to go and nothing to do to help the plot. Cause here’s the thing, his and Jack's relationship is what makes the movie. I don’t care if I'm fandom-goggling this my tin hat is ON I have a MASTERS in FUJOSHI STUDIES. The movie is at its core, about brotherhood and community. It’s about boyhood and friendship and banding together with your peers to achieve great things. They give us this theme through Jack and Dave.

Dave is an outsider, unfamiliar to the ways of the street kids and working within a community like that. Jack is old hat to it, born and bred in it, it’s his home and his family. They come together through a twist of fate, Jack initially thinking only about what’ll earn him the most money at the end of the day, and Davey rightfully mistrustful of him. But they end up forming an organic bond through the strike, finding common ground with one another, and realizing if they team up they can accomplish great things. We see them struggle together, and break apart for a bit. We see Jack realize he’s gotten too close to this boy, brought him into something dangerous and now he genuinely cares for him which is even worse. David goes so far as to break Jack out of jail, but not before Pulitzer can get to him and threaten him with the one thing Jack will take seriously: David. Jack is forced to destroy David's and the rest of the newsies' trust just to keep them safe.

But through all this, facing incredible adversity, dangerous circumstances, gaining and losing a close friend, David is forced to come into his own, take on a role of leadership and stand up for what he believes in. In this way, his own character arc is fulfilled, by the end of the movie. And the one thing that gets Jack back to the newsies? Why David being in trouble, of course. The one thing he hoped to avoid by agreeing to Pulitzers terms. That’s all it takes for him to take it all back, the prospect of David being in danger.

BRO. WHEN I SAY. THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS WHAT DRIVES THE PLOT. I FUCKING MEAN IT.

And y'know they make their own paper and radicalize all the kids in the city, they go to Pulitzer TOGETHER. BY THE WAY. TOGETHER. Which the musical cannot seem to understand. It’s only as a united front that they are able to beat Pulitzer and win fair terms for the newsies. And then jacks like ahhh yeah im goin to santa fe so long fuckers and then is like never mind actually i wanna come back and kiss Dav- I mean Sarah.

Which is also a hilarious fucking scene to me like that whole last interaction between Dave and Jack is so damn romantic in tone that the only way for the tension to break was with a kiss, so they had to have Sarah come in out of nowhere to kiss Jack 💀 like they knew that shit was leading to something but they couldn’t have the boys kiss obviously so they had to throw a woman in there real quick.

-

So. tldr. I meant this to be a lot more organized and make a lot more sense than it did but oh well. The reason the musical fails is because it fails to recognize that Dave and Jack are EQUALLY both the main characters, you can’t have one without the other, their partnership is the core force of the plot and story, without both of them you are left with something resembling the story you once knew, but with none of the heart and spirit of the original.

Other Technical Things That Are Bad

i wanted to take a second and just touch on some smaller details that also stood out to me, but are less connected to my central thesis.

//

Costumes. Oh boy did they fuck that one up on stage. Now to be fair, I’ve only seen the 2017 pro shot and one (1) local children’s production. Not any of the other runs or anything. So I'm only talking about what I’ve seen here. But what I’ve seen is Not Good. There’s already a lot of names and faces flying around in the movie which are hard to keep track of as it is, but everyone looks different enough from the person next to them that you know who your main players are. Each kid has his own way of dressing, unique color palette, accessories, and other styling choices that make them stand out. If you know who you're looking for, you can pick out any named newsie from any of the major ensemble scenes. You can't do that with the show. Everyone is wearing a variation of the same bland shirts and pants, and the color palette is dull gray-brown across the board. I'm not saying you have to go crazy with colors and shit, the costumes in the movie are believably period accurate, but I can still tell Racetrack from Mush without having to squint. (Also hey shout out to whoever decided to do that little red/blue color palette motif on movie Jack and Dave. I see you, and I appreciate you.)

//

The new songs suck but what can you do :/. Sorry to Alan Menken you ate with the movie my guy but you were just not on your A-game with this one. I didn’t even know it was still Menken doing the music in the stage show honestly, with how different and sucky the new songs were. Personal taste on this one I guess. But I don’t like them. Why does Pulitzer need a song. Literally why. If they had to give any pre-existing character their own song it should've been David! Like literally no question about it, it should have been David. Also why are we doing Santa Fe at the opening?? Did we forget how musicals work?? We never open with the "I want" song! ESPECIALLY if it's a ballad!!

//

The set. Yeah I’m really here to tear everything down ig, I didn’t know I had this many gripes until I started writing this sorry guys 😭 But yeah it’s not as gooood. And I'm like. ok. I know they were never gonna be able to do anything close to the movie. It’s onstage. They had to make sacrifices. But tell me why it all had to be cool toned?? The movie's color palette is so nice and warm, it feels antiquated but also real, it’s homey and nice. But also unforgiving and rough when it needs to be. They could’ve done that with lighting and shit onstage, changing the tone when it needs to, but instead they opted to throw out the warm tones for mostly cool gray steel backdrops. Whatever. I’m not a set tech. They know better than me.

//

THAT KID. IS SO MOTHERFUCKING ANNOYING. I AM SO SORRY. BUT IT IS HOW I FEEL. No hate at all to the kid playing Les in the 2017 pro shot, he was just a child he was doing his best not his fault at all. I’m choosing to blame the writing. But also goddamn if that kid's choices for delivery did not grate on my ears. His voice. just. did not sit right with me idk. Les in the movie is such a cute and endearing kid, I always adored him as he reminded me a lot of my own younger brothers. But this kidddd. is so unlikeable it’s like, going PAST annoying unfunny comic relief character straight into “how the fuck did anyone think this was a good idea”.

//

The ending suuuuuucks boooooo it’s bad I don’t like it I'm kinda running outta steam here but I still got shit to say so fuck it we ball. it’s so over explained that it’s just. just dumb. It just becomes dumb at a certain point. Jack going to do cartoons for Pulitzer??? What??? Don’t get me wrong I actually really love them giving him artistic talent I think that really adds some actually GOOD dimension to his character, but this????? Really????? Everything is just so like *perfectly* wrapped up that it totally destroys my suspension of disbelief. In the movie it’s definitely very wish-fulfilling and unrealistic, but it’s from the perspective of kids. It’s exactly as a kid would perceive it. And we don’t see exactly how the conceding of Pulitzer goes down and we SHOULDN’T!! Because then it gets all bogged down with the logistics of it all which is exactly what happened to the play! We don’t need all the details, we just need to know they won.

//

This one isn’t a gripe actually because I apparently DO have love in my heart: I love musical Crutchie. I love him, I love him so much my sweet boy. I love him being Jack’s little brother I love them having that deeper connection. I love Crutchie in the movie so to see him getting more screen time (so to speak) is just lovely. The one change I agree with. I love you forever Crutchie.

ok i’ve been writing for hours and my hands gonna fall off so im done now. if i think of anything else…well, you’ll just have to wait for my video essay i guess.

[nonranghaes]

heads up: reader struggling w friendships (feeling uninvolved + unheard)

felix hears the way you sigh as you come back into the room, and doesn't move quite yet. he knows you well enough. he listens as your footsteps draw nearer, and you pass in front of him as quickly as you can before throwing yourself onto the opposite end of the couch. it's enough to make him raise a brow--usually you'll sit next to him because you like being close to him--but he can't take his eyes off the tv screen quite yet.

"everything okay?" he says as he pulls one side of his headset back, and then he already hears changbin and jisung responding. "not--not you guys. hold on, i'll still be here--" he mutes his mic, and looks over to you. "babe?"

you curl in on yourself, frowning. "not really."

"you wanna talk about it?"

"you're busy--"

he shoves his headset down so it hangs around his neck. "i can multitask. once we're done with this, i'll stop, alright?"

you pout and he sees it from the corner of his eye. "i don't want to bother you."

"you aren't," he promises. "i'm listening."

"it's just... more of the same-old." you shift so you're a little closer to him. "feeling like some of my friends are closer with each other so i'm just kind of playing fifth wheel, platonically. other friends not listening to me when i speak meanwhile i feel like i file every little fact away..."

he's heard it before. he looks up, and he sees how upset you are, and he debates for a moment. he's going to play again with changbin and jisung this weekend... surely they can carry on without him? he pulls up his headset, unmutes, and says he's gotta go. all it takes is him mentioning your name for them to stop teasing him: felix wouldn't be ditching them if it weren't somewhat serious. he logs back out, and turns over, moving in to wrap his arms around you.

"hey." he smiles. "i love you. you wanna go out?" he says. "we can get dinner. talk more. maybe walk by the river?"

he knows you well: getting out helps. and walking by the river always helps you open up more. you peck his lips as you get up to find your shoes.

at least felix has your back when you need it the most.