#like his love was so conditional that i assume everyone's love is. i constantly feel i have to do smth for others to love me otherwise i

[momo-minomo]

Batfam Cooking/Eating Habits

I know that the fandom has, for some reason, settled on the idea that Alfred and Jason are the only Waynes that can cook and the rest are health disasters but honestly the comics doesn't really support that (with the exception of Bruce and maybe Cass lol) and I have serious doubts that Alfred would let ANY of his kids go through life without basic life skills. So based on comics and my own thoughts and feelings, here's how I figure everyone's kitchen skills would be.

Bruce: He follows a VERY strict diet to maintain his peak physical condition but will break it for special occasions or feeding his kids takeout on patrol. As for cooking, for the most part Bruce is an utter disaster in the kitchen. He's had Alfred by his side his entire life so most of the time his attempts at cooking went extremely badly, even if it was something as simple as a damn sandwich as Tim can attest to here:

After Alfred's death he does eventually learns to make a few specific, simple things really well like the omelette he made for Clark here. As you can see, though, he's still pretty helpless in the kitchen with anything beyond the very basics, even dishwashers lol

Dick: Our flippiest boy is not the hopeless cereal-addicted kitchen disaster that fandom assumes he is. In fact, Tim was surprised at how good Dick is with all the "domestic skills" like cleaning, laundry, and cooking. Dick has cooked multiple times in the comics, especially for dates or Tim. He is constantly trying to feed his baby brother in general so he's cooked him pasta and soup for sure and just showed up with takeout or donuts a bunch.

Jason: I love the headcanon that Jason is a foodie and a really good cook even though I admit there's not much evidence for it in the comics. No evidence against it, either. Jason definitely loves to eat good food and doesn't bother with a strict diet like Batman and he loves a good burger. Considering his past, though, I think it's very in character that he'd learn to cook really well from Alfred so he's always self-sufficient. Since I don't have any comic snapshots of him cooking, here's Jason's eternal love for burgers instead!

Tim: His relationship with food seems kind of complicated to me. Tim on his own will eat super healthy so he remains in top shape for the job. What we see him eating, though, are things like plain salads, kale chips, and scrambled egg whites. Considering his extremely active life he should be eating more protein and larger portions but he often leaves them unfinished. As a young Robin it didn't seem like he got fed much at home, either, since you see Dick trying to feed him at every opportunity and he was always hungry if Alfred or Dick offered to cook or buy food for him.

When Tim is with other people, the YJ crew, his friends, Dick, Spoiler, etc he's far more willing to eat. Dick pulls out donuts and Tim is rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Dick brought a thermos of soup on patrol for himself but immediately hands it to Tim when he shows up and Tim downs it. So my HC is that Tim will eat as a necessity but doesn't really like to do it by himself. He's a social eater. He'll spend an entire afternoon eating a boring but healthy meal because he has to but if a friend or sibling show up he'll happily eat a full meal with them and even junk food.

As for Tim and cooking, we actually know he can and is pretty good at it! In comics he's cooked with Dick, learned to make chicken soup with his stepmom Dana when Steph was sick. We also see in the comics that Tim has prepared a full breakfast spread for when Jason shows up to a pre-arranged meeting to ask for information. Jason asks if the waffles are Alfred's recipe (apparently Alfred's one culinary sin is paste-like waffles lol) and is happy to sit down and munch when Tim assures him they aren't. He's also made pancakes for Steph and the family after patrol, a father's day dinner for Bruce, and a cake for Bernard! So Tim is a really good cook that doesn't really bother for just himself much. He prefers to go all out cooking for other people.

Cass: I don't know as much about Cass as I do the others (I need to read her stuff soon!) but I know she has terrible table manners and likes to sneak into her siblings and close friends apartments to eat their food, use their showers, and sleep. She has her own place, but she much prefers the homes and food of her loved ones. She also apparently didn't even blink at Alfred breaking into her home to stock her shelves with food, do laundry, and clean lol. With this I figure Cass doesn't really cook at all and just does take out, easy to eat meals that can be eaten cold or microwaved, and mooching off her loved ones' cooking and pantries!

[dokjaism]

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[marikosfragrance]

(Blue lock x femReader)

CAN THEY FALL IN LOVE?

Characters : Isagi Yoichi, Michael Kaiser, Itoshi Sae, Itoshi Rin

Contents : My thoughts on whether or not they'll actually fall in love? Depending on the character, how long will it take? And what conditions must be met for it to happen? And, depending on the character, will they not fall in love at all?

Note : Please keep in mind that this is my own interpretation of how characters will take on this situation and act on them, I don’t however assume and force this into a canonical aspect, I am not the creator of Blue Lock so take this post however you'd like if it is canon enough for you, or if it isnt, everyone has their own interpretations on each characters, but I am merely showcasing how I interpreted them, taking heed of the information in the manga and anime at hand, as I am trying to understand their character. Thank you, and enjoy reading.

ISAGI YOICHI

Can they fall in love? : Yes. He can. This is something that can be understood if you truly read the trivia and read and watched every nook and cranny of the entire blue lock manga and anime. He mentioned a type in his trivia and I think just from this, it might just be enough to stake a claim that he would indeed fall in love. Isagi is a character that is described as friendly and cheery, although he starts to develop a more assertive and dominant personality as he progresses through blue lock, we can't ignore the fact that he grew up with loving parents, in a loving environment, a stable home and not divorced parents. It is fair to say he understands the concept of love and is most likely to fall inlove in comparison to other characters in blue lock.

How long will it take? : Depending on the situation, I think it would take a few months at most. If I were to place an estimation, maybe 2-4 months? Attraction can start up pretty quickly, but falling inlove takes time. But if ever the situation makes it possible for the love interest and him to have a lot of moments together, 2-4 months can be reduced to less. Especially if his love interest constantly makes appearances in his life, it would further deepen and fasten the attraction.

What conditions must be met for it to happen? :

To fall in love, it is fair to say the love interest has to be his type. A person that laughs a lot and has a nice smile. If the object of attraction has this traits, needless to say, that person just has to wait as Isagi's attraction seeps in, but the object of attraction also has to work for it. If ever Isagi falls first, reciprocating is a nice way to further develop the current stage. If the object of attraction falls first, I am pretty sure with some moments, it won't be so long till he would feel the same.

If the the object of attraction isn't his type, it might be possible but I doubt it would take so soon for it to happen. Let us say this person doesn't smile at all, or is unable to express laughter, Isagi is most likely to not fall at all, but still is capable of having attachment to that person but in a platonic sense. But if the love interests shows persistence and attraction, there can be some room for Isagi to look at the love interest in a romantic light, but it will take longer and with more efforts.

So yes, Isagi can fall in love.

RIN ITOSHI

Can they fall in love? : Yes, everyone has the capability to fall in love. But there are some reasons which prevents Rin from truly engaging in it at the moment.

Reason 1 : Soccer

Reason 2 : His brother

Anyone that has reading comprehension can understand that Rin currently has his focus all on soccer, numerous times in the manga and anime, it shows him exerting his energy and time All into soccer and making himself better and better. His mind is so preoccupied that there is no room left for him to make meaningful romantic relationships, much less the time to truly fall in love with someone. And Sae also occupies a large sum of Rin's mind, time and dedication, that his life technically just revolves around Sae at this point.

Rin has dedicated himself onto defeating Sae, that even if someone were to try and make a connection with him, would ultimately and eventually give up because of his neglect and unwillingness to reciprocate.

However, if some conditions are met, it might be possible, but it needs so much time dedicated into it and patience, which I don't think anyone realistically could pull off, unless someone really is so committed.

How long will it take? : Years. Yes, years. If someone really is steadfast on making Rin fall in love, it would take absolute time, persistence and constancy. And absolute focus too. But years of staying, and constantly showing affection isn't enough, one has to truly share moments of vulnerability, handle his time to time exertion towards soccer and must respect his own goals and wishes.

But it really could be impossible if he deems the love interest to be a dead weight to his goals, and if he thinks so, he wont hesitate to drop them. But he is not an emotionless person, he is just emotionally unavailable.

I am sure if someone had stayed with him, he might soften up a bit, but if that person shows even the slightest of being a distraction, albeit reluctantly, he would leave them, for himself and for that person, and even if the love interest persists and tries to understand him, I am sure Rin would not be so selfish by keeping them for his own benefits, and instead leaves them because he is aware of how he can get neglectful and doesn't want anything emotionally draining as that.

What conditions must be met for it to happen? :

1. To fall in love, a partner must show patience and understanding.

2. It might not be necessary, but also being into soccer, maybe a player, coach, manager, or just someone that has a fairly good understanding and involvement of the sport could make Rin more open for relations, since he might believe that it would make spending time together less time consming, but it would only lessen the workload.

3. When things have calmed down for him. Like if his brother and him finally have talked through things, lessening some of his burden and making him less closed off .

4. Before the Sae incident.

So in short, he can. But it would take patience and persistence.

SAE ITOSHI

Can they fall in love? : Yes, but he won't.

Once again, each human has the capability to do, with necessary work. But Sae, won't and might not fall in love no matter how many people approach him. Sae is emotionally unavailable like Rin, and has no desire to form such connections at the moment. Unless someone really interests him, the least that would happen would be him acknowledging them silently, and not approach them and form a romantic relationship. Sae isn't the type to fall in love, but atleast not with the wrong person. Right now, Sae is more dedicated to his sport more than anything else. One reason for why he won't fall in love could be through his understanding of knowing he won't have time, and relationships aren't really necessary and needed. Sae is fixed on doing things if he deems them relevant, but relationships isn't on the list. Sae isn't dumb, it is possible that he knows his partner would just end up being neglected, and left in the dark, and he is not open to the drainage a relationship could bring. Unless he is ready to make time, or he can see it in his future, even if he ends up being attracted to someone, I doubt making a move on that person is something he would consider.

How long would it take? : Years. For an estimation, 2 years and 4 months the minimum. On average, maybe 3 years at most. And more years like 5 is the longest.

If the love interest had already formed a connection in their childhood, it might not be as hard, but it will still take some work. Incredible work.

What conditions must be met for it to happen? :

1. The love interest shows that they won't get in the way of his goals, a balanced relationship in which the relationship won't take so much time

2. A very understanding partner. One that would understand he isn't there all the time, or that he is gonna be focused on soccer.

However, if Sae does enter a relationship, it means he can balance it with his career and he sees it being relevant, so if it happens, he might make some time, but I doubt he would be there for his partner all the time.

3. It isn't really important so long as the person is patient, however, being involved in soccer in some way can greatly boost the possibility of it.

In conclusion, it is possible. But it is mentally draining for a person. One must be mentally strong and prepared. But all in all, Sae might not consider it if he feels like it could also burden the other person. Unless there is a mutual understanding, there can never be a Sae Itoshi that'll fall inlove with someone. Much less enter a relationship, none.

MICHAEL KAISER

Can they fall in love? : He can, but he won't. So NO. It would be close to impossible especially with someone that doesnt understand such concept. If he feels like he is getting vulnerable, he wouldn't hesitate to lash out or worse try to distance himself. Kaiser canonically wants love, but he is unable to truly grasp the idea of it and reciprocate it. Love deep down, is pure and unconditional which contrasts to how he acts on it and percieve it when received. For him, someone loving unconditionally is non existent and believes that affection from people comes in a form of give and take. He doesn't understand the idea of true love as he was unable to experience it. This is already proven with how he treats Ness, for him, Ness might be one of the only people that he secretly deems as a friend, but he also sees Ness as only being there because of how he manipulated him. His father abused him in which distorted his idea of love and receiving it. In the manga, he mentions how he finally understands why his father acted out like that, and justifies it by being able to feel alive, since he also does the same. But his father being abusive and hurting was the reason why he commits to such acts and sees it fitting in order to feel something, not knowing It is wrong. Parents are the children's first teacher, they are their caretakers. His father embedded that idea into kaiser and shaped how he is now. If someone tries to reach out to him, he might manipulate them instead, or if the love interest is someone that he sees as beneficial, he would manipulate them and get into a relationship, but I doubt he would truly open up and let his feelings be worn on his sleeve.

If his partner tries to truly love him, he would only see it as a form of manipulation or sees it as the partner wanting something in return rather than actually loving him with no hidden motive.

He might feel love but he wouldn't reciprocate it, nor would he accept it. He would leave his partner eventually to avoid vulnerable moments.

It would go differently if he undergoes therapy

How long would it take? : Years. If someone is really serious, years. 5 years minimum ( this is me being generous) but with an avergae person, it would need therapy and more than 5 years of healing. Perhaps longer. But I doubt he would open up to the idea of love in just a year or few months. If someone tries to be with him and make him understand love, it would be through sheer patience and deep understanding, they would have to be with him and help him heal, but it is no shock if the relationship would bore a form of toxicity. If someone is strong enough to stay with him, it will heal him after a LONG time, but it might break the other person unless they are mentally prepared for a power dynamic, where kaiser is in control, moments where he resorts to physical abuse, harshness, moments where he leaves, disappears, gaslights, manipulations and other. Unless taken to therapy, he wouldn't heal in a span of a year.

What conditions must be met for it to happen? :

1. The person must be mentally strong, understanding, open minded and very very patient.

2. Able to convince him to go through therapy

3. If someone wants a relationship with him, that person must endure constant toxicity and undergo kaiser leaving them

Kaiser would no doubt stray away from pure love despite wanting it, because for him, he is so used to the feeling of discomfort that the idea of something as foreign as love makes him want to stay away.

In conclusion, he can but he WON'T.

___________________________________

[mdhwrites]

Recently, I've been poring over the 'TOH critical' tags and, as someone who wanted to properly watch the show, seeing just how many flaws the writing and characters have kinda turned me off from even starting for a bit. Before I found these tags, I would have assumed Owl House was some kind of flawless untouchable masterpiece. Now, I can see that it is immensely flawed. Not bad, but flawed. It has great ideas that it just spaffs up the walls. In some cases that I've seen, it goes against its own message, which brings me to the point of this.

The show seems to have a message of 'be a weirdo! Be who you want to be and don't let anyone tell you to be something you're not'. This 'be yourself' message is fine in a vacuum, but then there's a character who's treatment in the show goes against this. Hooty! From the moment he's introduced, Hooty is presented as a weird creature. Even other people in the Demon Realm find him unnatural. He's kinda in his own world, and he says and does things that are weird. This would work well for the message, but the problem arises from other characters' treatment of him.

Everyone fucking HATES Hooty! They loathe him! They call him names, they hit him, they put him down constantly, the works! Everyone holds him in open contempt! I wouldn't really have an issue with this at first, but Luz also takes part in some of these actions. It would be one thing for negative/antagonistic characters to be doing this, but the self-proclaimed 'weirdo' main characters? She seems annoyed by Hooty's very existence. Don't get me wrong, he IS annoying, but he's also just being himself. He's a proud weirdo and doesn't let anyone stop him from being who he wants.

Why doesn't Luz love him?

He is exactly the type of person(?) who she should feel connected with. And the fact she joins in on some of the bullying is real shitty. Keep in mind Luz was ridiculed and ostracised for being weird, so her then turning around and being all dismissive and annoyed by someone who is, for all intents and purposes, just like her is shitty.

Personally, I would have had it that Luz really likes Hooty. She admires how he's so unapologetic in his weirdness. You could even still have Eda hitting him and calling him names, which Luz calls out. She knows what it's like to be put down for just being yourself, and she's not gonna stand to see someone else get the same treatment.

Or, another idea, Luz starts out sharing Eda's view on Hooty and being annoyed by him. One time, he does something or shows Luz something he's proud of. She calls him or it or both stupid, and Hooty just....cries. I don't mean overblown waterfalls-out-the-eyes crying, I mean he turns his head down and looks visibly upset.

Luz sees that her words have genuinely hurt Hooty. This could be her realising that Hooty isn't just some weird talking punching bag to hurl abuse at. For his weird actions and appearance, he's a person too. Her being mean to him just for being himself, she realises, makes her no better than her bullies.

Then, to make this even more shitty, the characters DO start being nicer to him later on, but only after he's proven himself useful. So that's a good message, isn't it? 'Love is conditional!' It really makes the 'found family' aspect of the Owl House residents feel all the more forced.

Tl;Dr It's okay to be a weirdo, unless you're Hooty!

(But that's just me! I hope all of this made sense and you can decipher what I'm trying to say😊)

So the short answer to this is that Hooty is essentially character/thematic assassination on... Everyone? Because the show wants to say "Be who you are! Have freedom! Express yourself!" Hooty however is constantly mocked, belittled and literally hurt by others with at best an apology. People treat his portable form as gross despite that letting him experience more of life and the one time people begrudgingly acknowledge he is truly good, they then force him to promise to not repeat the helpful behavior. He is not allowed freedom, expression or to be himself without ridicule, EVEN BY LUZ.

This... However has a bigger problem. Hooty is a bit character after all. If you want to claim he doesn't matter because he's just a joke... There's okay precedent for it. The problem is that then you have to ask what he's mocking. After all, gag characters are all about mocking a certain archtype or the like. King's whole point is to mock children who think themselves as self important and point out how deluded and funny that is, or how funny a deluded sense of self grandeur in general is, at least in the first season. As such... What is Hooty?

Hooty is Sheldon. Not literally but spiritually and this is gonna get kind of rough but here me out. For those who don't get the reference, Sheldon is the main autistic representation in The Big Bang Theory. He is also the most antagonistic force within the friend group. Not because he's evil or anything but because he his own certain ways of doing things and ways he looks at things and as such actually has a lot of episodes about expanding his perception of the world and of others learning to understand who he is and why he is the way he is. The show is actually shockingly respectful in this way, at least most of what I have seen of it, and I can portray this with the best joke I can recall from the series. It also will help me later in why The Big Bang Theory is better than TOH at one certain element people REALLY want to say TOH is great about.

The setup is that the other three main dudes are at a white board, discussing plans to go so see a movie. Every plan they devise runs into a road block because of allergies, time, etc. like that, not even only just because of Sheldon's quirks. However, then the lead, the Ross of the group, stops and goes, "I see it." The others squint and look closer before he adds, "It's the only way." The other two agree... And then they all just leave without Sheldon coming with. Sheldon pauses, looks at the board and goes, "They're correct. It was the only way."

I LOVE this joke... Because it's not mean AT ALL. One might think if they're overly sensitive that it is. I mean, how could they leave their friend behind!? But Sheldon is very honest and up front about his quirks and habits. These guys know him well enough that they know better than to force him out of his comfort zone. That he doesn't function that way. Sheldon KNOWS THIS TOO. As such, when presented with the options of telling Sheldon they can't go because they can't go without him or still having a good night and not making their friend feel bad for being why they couldn't go out, they choose to go out and Sheldon agrees that it was the correct option. They respected him while still living their lives.

And this is because The Big Bang Theory's pitch is not to be offensive to nerds like many online people like to make it out to be (I fucking hate people who call it 'Nerd Black Face') but to just make fun of us like any sitcom would. Sitcoms are parodies of real life. They always exaggerated characters we know are somewhat true. We know a Kramer, we know a Ross, we know a Barney, we know a Lorraine. Are they exactly like this? No, it's cranked up so that it's a comedy, that's the fucking point. But this comedic framing also allows it to be honest about ALL sides of nerd dom.

Sheldon is BY FAR made out to be the most successful, intelligent and wealthiest of ALL the guys. Also, all the guys are doing well in their fields and monetarily. Do they have widespread fame and acclaim? Not really but they're not discredited or anything, they just have interdepartmental bickering. That's accurate from literally every scientist I have seen talk about the subject. It's genuine about the good and the bad of the nerd experience while being entertaining.

So what the fuck does any of this have to do with The Owl House? And especially Hooty? It's actually quite simple. While TOH champions having a nerd protagonist, it presents the 'gentrified nerd'. The convenient nerd. They know about fanfiction but won't force you to actually hear about it. They have interests but not hyperfixations. They don't ever get lost down a rabbit hole because they're passionate about something or just want to tell you a neat fact.

Do you know who does though? Hooty. Hooty just wants someone who is willing to listen about his day. He has some weird quirks to how he behaves and he likes some strange things like bugs. He will talk to you for hours on a subject, randomly and just because he can and might forget that you might have other things to do. To me, those are very, VERY accurate parts of nerd life... And we're supposed to fucking HATE Hooty for these things. Remember the only person, in the ENTIRE SERIES to actually befriend Hooty instead of treating him at best as a convenience is Liltih... At the start of her becoming a joke. The only person who shows him real, genuine compassion... Also becomes 'The Cool Aunt' who hyper fixates on niche architecture and has her trauma of working the EC mocked as just being really bad at her job.

It is, genuinely, kind of gross to me. I've actually talked about this before that the show is so hyperfocused on a very specific, very small set of people for who it approves of, which is essentially whoever fits into Luz correctly, that anyone who felt excluded by the show is extremely valid. And yes, Luz has a montage at the start of silly, over the top and extreme behavior... That doesn't continue. At all. The one time she subjects someone to an Azura rant is to torture Eda enough to go to the Convention and that's only because they were already on the subject because King was interested. She quotes Azura but quickly and doesn't lose the thread. She might say a cute word like 'Snorses' but not even enough to make a break in the conversation.

She is convenient. Gus is only interested in human stuff when it's convenient. Willow will put aside her interest in plants when it's inconvenient. Amity just stops giving a shit about being an intellectual AT ALL post her getting a crush. Hunter wears a wolf t-shirt and gets into Cosmic Frontier enough to cosplay it for Halloween... But only Halloween. These are people who are extremely socially acceptable in every way.

Which... explains why nerds love them actually. See, I think Big Bang Theory does deserve criticism, it is by no means perfect and I would be VERY interested in hearing what the Jewish community thinks of Howard who is easily the most problematic character in the show but not all of the criticism is genuine. I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that we're used to a side, gag character representing the kind worst parts of us... But we're not used to being the focus. We can laugh at all the broke bitches who show up in Sitcoms or the jock failures who are meatheads, etc. like that... But laugh at ourselves? Why would we do that? Why would we allow that? We're better than what this show depicts, even if we're not.

It is inconvenient to the narrative we wish to tell ourselves that we are still the outcasts. That are we not part of the dominant culture and so it is unfair to mock our interests and lifestyle. But like... Marvel movies have been the biggest blockbusters for well over a decade and no one bats a fucking at that. D&D is quickly becoming a household name due to its ever expanding influence. We are not the outcasts anymore. Being into a weird cartoon is not some shocking thing like it was 12 years ago when Bronies first made people aware that this subculture of nerds existed. Times are changing but we still wish to see ourselves as only the victims, even as more and more our spaces show that they are just as evil, corrupt, manipulative and cruel as any athletic superstar or pretty boy actor's club.

A lot of these nerds want to believe they are Luz. Never wrong, never giving anyone a reason to dislike them, and always just passionate about the things they like, never annoying. And you know who those people would mock? Who those people HAVE mocked?

Hooty. Because he's more real. He's the demon they wish they didn't have to face in the mirror. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I really do want to re-emphasize this: FUCK HOWARD. Big Bang is NOT good for the jewish community and I don't think if I watched it nowadays I would be able to tolerate his depiction AT ALL. Also, Raj is also probably all sorts of rough too. I'm ONLY defending the nerd portrayal part of Big Bang.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[markerofthemidnight]

Sense you asked for it. Rank P:EG based on what you think their cooking skills are, from amazing cook to constantly burns pots of water or something like that.

There’s Muffin, always coming in clutch for me! Well, since you asked for it, here’s a tierlist of how good I think every character is at cooking, AND my explanations as to why they’re ranked there! (under cut)

(p.s. I have not seen everyone’s FTEs, so I apologise if there are any inconsistencies with canon!)

Damon: I don’t know why, I just think a meal cooked by Damon would be really shitty.

Eva: We already know from canon that Eva has a very wide skill set, so who’s to say she can’t cook, either?

Wolfgang: The man thought you were supposed to pour the entire bottle of detergent in when you’re using the washing machine. There’s no way he can cook.

Grace: She at least had the common sense to correct her boyfriend Wolfie on the above, so? I assume she’d be alright at it?

Toshiko: This needs no explanation. She is literally 14. I think she’d know a lot about food in relation to romance, since that’s her talent, but actual cooking? Likely not.

Eloise: I just get those vibes from her, y’know? She probably cooks at home with her mom or something?

Desmond: Vibes and vibes only.

Jean: You can’t be a ship captain and just… not be good at cooking! That man makes the most banger seafood dishes you’ll ever taste in your life!

Ingrid: I’m not even going to explain this.

Wenona: C’mon, she’s the pioneer of the agricultural industry. She has to be at least a little good, even if she has, I dunno, personal chefs cooking everything for her most of the time.

Cassidy: I feel like Cassidy has made a lot of, like, intentionally bad dishes. Like, during livestreams and such. She’ll stream herself making a custard-shrimp pie with added hot sauce, eat it, and then end the stream ten minutes before she throws up. It’s her way of life. Following the rules and making something good for once would be a violation of who she is.

Jett: Again, vibes. Jett is the kind of person who loves food but can’t cook to save his life.

Mark: No offence, Mark fans, but I think anything cooked by him would probably be pretty flavourless. Though, on the bright side, at least he’s not a living fire hazard like Jett is.

Kai: I mean, we know he can at least make coffee, but since this is specifically about cooking and not coffee-making… I dunno, I just put him in the middle because I can’t make up my mind.

Diana: I think she’d be very into the aesthetics of cooking but not so much making stuff that actually tastes good. She’s better at baking.

Ulysses: Good-to-okay-ish when it actually turns out well, but because of his inability to smell, goldfish memory (at least, when he doesn’t have his notebook) and tendency to fall asleep while standing up, things go wrong pretty often. At least, when he doesn’t have someone helping him out.

Tozu: I’ve got a very specific idea in my head for how good he’d be at cooking: similar to Ulysses in that everything he makes would be basically five-star, but every time he enters the kitchen there’s a very real chance that at least one thing will catch fire. High-risk, high-reward. Also similar to Cassidy in that he likes to experiment with foods that absolutely do not go together (though half the time it turns out surprisingly good).

Mara: Kinda the complete opposite of Tozu! Since I imagine she’d be a good survivalist, or otherwise be obsessed with keeping her body in the best condition possible, I think she’d be very good at cooking stuff that’s very healthy and very safe, but kind of terrible taste-wise.

[jess-the-vampire]

Sorry if someone already ased this, but how did Caleb find out about Philip loving to wear dresses? Like did he just see him in one at some point or did Philip tell him? Did he immediately support him or was he still in the believe that men shouldn't wear dresses or anything feminine for that matter?

well, if it was early on, he'd probably be more judgmental. But one of the plus sides to when he eventually dates evelyn, is she is constantly encouraging him to lose his original judgement of others he had been taught. Caleb grew up with the impression things had to work a certain way and that it was the best for him, even if he wasn't sure he agreed personally, and he always trusted it was right despite any personal thoughts.

But now he was dating a witch, he was seeing things through a new lenses, that what he was taught wasn't the truth as he always thought it.

I mean if he can do the same for her, he can do the same for everyone else right? It's slowly allowed caleb to be more and more open about things he was taught were bad and strange. In the boiling isles he would see gay couples and people of different genders far more often and the whole thing has made him a lot more normalized to it.

i mean he always knew philip was a little odd compared to other kids on earth, even as a kid, and he always protected him before, why would that change now?

so i think by the time he figures it out, he's become a lot less judgmental, in fact he's even HAPPY about it. Because he never could see philip doing this in the past, so the fact he's comfortable doing something he used to consider taboo makes caleb think he's also breaking from his original conditioning.

And caleb, who does feel guilt about participating in that conditioning, even if he never meant it to hurt his brother, would love to know philip is growing out of it.

now, as to how he found out, well, when philip left his cave and therefore caleb couldn't find him for awhile...he had run into his brother on a few occassions.

Philip wore disguises to blend in over time, and well, he tried women's garments, and at the time i think caleb assumed it was a disguise and nothing more....but when he eventually did find out about philip's new home many years later, he just....noticed he was wearing them naturally.

i think philip got less embarrassed about the idea of wearing them the older he got. What was once just something he was wearing to hide himself, was actually just becoming something he liked wearing..

[minniiaa]

another lawlu hc related to that: law has sensory issues with eating sometimes because of his autism and it makes him internally scream and go to an empty room to cry. luffy realizes law has been giving him too much of his food recently. after finding out why, luffy gives him all the comfort and love he deserves and it causes law to eat a little more 🥹💜 (this sadly happens to me in real life as an autistic person. I NEED A SPOUSE LIKE LUFFY AAAAAH)

Yes! This is actually so sweet. Law's autism could totally explain his very particular eating habits. You inspired me to write the below headcanon based on this. I have had people in my life who are autistic but I do have it myself so I hope I could do the experience justice in the context of Law and his personality. I just love the idea of Luffy finding out and making sure Law gets whatever he needs because he's the best partner anyone could ask for <3

Law is very self-conscious when it comes to his eating habits, as he is with most of his peculiarities and it's nearly impossible for him to bring himself to ask to be accommodated when others are cooking even though he knows people will do so even when he doesn't tell them why. He accidentally blurted out that he doesn't like bread and ever since then Sanji has always made him his own special dish whenever he is serving bread dishes to the others. He appreciates Sanji's understanding but he feels like a burden for making him create something entirely different just for him.

Law's food preferences don't just end with bread though, and he can't just refuse to eat what he's being served, that would be rude. Luckily, he has a very hungry partner who is always eyeing up his plate for scraps so he can generally just give him the things he doesn't like but recently it's been getting worse to the point that Law is barely eating because his sensory issues have become overwhelming.

Law thinks he's pretty slick but Luffy knows him better than he knows himself most of the time and one day, he confronts him. Luffy asks Law if he's okay and why he hasn't been eating virtually any of his food recently. He tries to play it off by saying he just hasn't been hungry but Luffy calls out the fact that his stomach has been growling and he's clearly hungry. He demands Law to tell him what's going on and if he's sick, he'll figure out how to make him better. Law, knowing he can't get out of this without telling Luffy the truth, explains that he has a condition where specific food textures make him feel extremely uncomfortable and he can't eat them without feeling like he's going to either throw up or explode.

Much to Law's relief, Luffy immediately understands. "That's okay, everyone is different, Torao! You should have told me before so I can make sure you get all the yummy food you like! Now, tell me all the things that make you feel gross and I'll make sure you never have to eat them again. Food is the best thing in the world and you need to eat so you can be nice and strong!" he says and Law has to hold back his tears. He's been struggling with this for so long and he's always been afraid to tell people because he doesn't want them to judge him and just assume he's annoying when he can't help it.

He's not sure why he didn't just tell Luffy this before, he's not the best at expressing himself. Emotions and connecting with others are hard for him. He's already so much of a burden on Luffy as it is even though Luffy constantly reassures him that he loves him, he's never a burden, and he just wants him to be happy.

After that day, Luffy makes sure that Law's plate never has anything he doesn't like on it. If anyone dares to call Law 'picky' he yells at them and advises that Law is artistic (Law has corrected him and told him it's autistic but he doesn't seem to listen) and he can't help it and that he'll beat them up if they make fun of his Torao. Law wonders every single day what he did to deserve such a loving and understanding partner who goes out of his way to make Law's life easier in whatever way he can.

[xlostsoulsfound]

I don't think Blitz is a bad character

**SPOILERS** For all of Helluva boss  I don't think Blitz is a bad person as much as everyone makes him out to be. Remember that these are all my options, and if you disagree with them, that's fine! To start, in the latest episode S2, E10. When Blitz was having the flashbacks? I don't know if you would call it that but when he was all the times he had felt like he hurt/made people hate him. When it showed Cash, raising his hand. We can assume it was to hit Blitz, and from what we have seen of Cash's personality we can assume he would hit Blitz frequently. More than likely from the smallest things too. Personally, that's just the type of person Cash seems to me. Also when Paimon offered to buy Blitz Cash let Blitz go rather easily. What I'm getting at is that a lot of his 'I'm not good enough, and never will be' Trauma came from his childhood.  We can also gather from what we have seen from the show he feels as if other people's love is conditional. Because his whole "relationship" with Stolas was started over Blitz burrowing the book from Stolas. And Stolas got sex/sexual favors from Blitz. When Millie was going to decline the client in the latest episode, blitz pulled out the unconditional support paper. It was Millie or Moxxie would have to poke one of the circles. Where he wouldn't be their third on one of their dates. Though I'm sure there are many more scenes in the show that he has to do things to feel like he's doing enough to be loved. But those are the only two that are coming to my mind now.

Throughout the show, we have seen Blitz trying to prove himself worthy. As in his company I.M.P., since Blitz is an IMP, they are one of the lowest classes in hell or other words, the working class, as they have put it in the show and the helluva boss wiki. He felt as if his work wasn't good enough and he had to prove himself to everyone who looked down on him. This can also have added to his 'I'm not good enough and never will be' Trauma but he does his best not to show it because he wants people to believe he is good enough to be his boss. Also just adding onto this there have been so many times when Blitz has been uncomfortable. As in Stolas calling Blitz Blitzy, Stolas talking down to Blitz constantly, and Blitz telling Stolas not to try to fuck him when they went to loo-loo land and Stolas just taking it as a joke, or when Stolas called Blitz "Big dick Blitzy" Even If it was never outright said he was uncomfortable you could tell he was.  Blitz does have a big fear of abandonment, as in truth seekers when he and Moxxie were high. Moxxie was going up the large stairs 'Does it seem like a recurring thing that you alienate your toxic routine? I don't know eventually everyone goes 'cause you're thoughtless and cruel and you'll end up alone.' further proving my point that he feels like everyone is going to leave him in the end. He tries to keep everyone at a distance, so he doesn't hurt them. But in doing that he just does the thing he never wanted to do. Just like with Veronika he up and left her after she said she confessed her feelings to Blitz and got a tattoo of his name on her arm. Which he got scared of and ran away. Just like when Barbie disowned Blitz which we can assume she disowned him because Blitz killed their mother. Though it was never said in the show this is why, but we can just assume this for the time begin. Then most likely after her death Barbie ran away disowning Blitz to get as far away from Blitz as she could. This just furthers my point of blitz having a fear of abandonment. 

Blitz has self-image issues, if you look in his apartment at the wall. You can see all the pictures of him being scratched out. We can conclude that he doesn't like himself, which with everything that we know about Blitz is true. Even though his words 'I don't want to be with way not forever' and 'I destroy everything I destroy everyone I make everyone's lives worse' added to his self-image issues. He doesn't like who he is as a person. 

He has a lot of self-destructive and impulsive behavior. For when he went to Bee's party and got drunk to wash away all his problems from his failed date at Ozzie's. Or how he has so many exes which from what we know of Blitz he probably went through a depressive episode and went out and had sex with a bunch of different people so he could feel something other than just pain. To add to this blitz has a problem with keeping friendships. Like when he told Millie she was his first real friend. We can assume all his other friends had left him of his behaviors. Plus with his relationship with Stolas, Blitz rejects Stolas's love because he doesn't think Stolas could ever love him. Especially since Stolas is royal and Blitz is the working class. 

He has a lot of anger issues. Like when he was drunk and yelled at Dennis for seemingly doing nothing besides saying his name. This could just be from the alcohol. But still goes off on other people rather easily. Just like when the I.M.P. were outside and their client was rushed off to the hospital, Blitz went off of Moxxie. (Which was understandable, but still just showing more signs of Blitz having anger issues.) Or in full moon, blitz going off on Stolas when they had that fight. However, it was Blitz feeling as if he was abandoned by Stolas when Stolas gave Blitz the crystal. With knowing blitz is understandable why he had that reaction. But still, he went off on Stolas. Or in  Apology Tour he yelled at Stolas when they were walking through the garden. 

Blitz also blames himself for so many things. Like the fire, he was the one who made the person carrying the cake slip and the candles that were on fire made the tent go up in flames. Causing Fizz to be caught in the fire and Blitz not help him. Also, his mother died in the fire. So he blames himself for everything that happened. It wasn't his fault it was an accident but in his mind, he doesn't see it that way, he just blames himself.  He also hates himself more than he hates anyone else. Take example in the previous paragraph, he blames himself for the fire. Making him hate himself for the fire. For losing his mother, one of the people he loved and cared for most in hell. From what we have seen he had a fairly close relationship with her. Like in ghostfuckers, he ran to her when he had a bad dream. When we have bad dreams we tend to the person we feel most comfort in. Which for him was his mother. Also because of that, he feels as if no one can love him. That's why he pushes everyone away, feels like Stolas could never love him. That no one can ever care for him, That he doesn't deserve to be cared for or loved by anyone. Take for example he tried to connect with his sister Barbie after finding her again just to be rejected by her. He's scared that if he ever loves someone they will just leave him. That's why he leaves people first, Because in his mind if he leaves first then they can't hurt him. But deep down he just wants to be loved and cared for but he's too scared because of everything he's been through.  I honestly think that him adopting Loona was one of the best things he had done. Because he was probably in a really bad place in his life when he adopted Loona. Loona who was in the same position as him. She was in a bad adoption center and the woman Blitz was talking to was making Loona out to be a bad person who would never amount to anything. I think Blitz saw himself in her, and that's why he got her. Even though at times it seems like Loona hates/dislikes Blitz, she loves him. She just like Blitz has a hard time showing how she feels. But does truly loves him just in her way. 

I just think Blitz has saved everyone in I.M.P. Blitz asked Moxxie to join him when they were both in jail. He helped Moxxie escape and then they started I.M.P. Then when he met Millie she had just taken I.M.P's hit so maybe she wasn't doing too well on her own. Though I could be completely wrong that's what I got from that scene. So I think in a big way he saved both of them and Loona. Plus in doing so Moxxie and Millie got together causing them to get married. They would probably have never got together if it wasn't for Blitz. Even if they do have issues at times I think they see each other as a family. Because Moxxie and Blitz both had bad dads and both of their mothers died. Loona's family is unknown but we can assume they either abandoned her or they had died, Even though Millie's family seems rather normal. Lin did seem rather disappointed a few times throughout Harvest Moon. So I think they see each other as a family. They all care for each other, and even if Blitz doesn't feel like he can be loved, it's very clear that Millie, Moxxie, and Loona all care for him and he very much so cares for them. Even if he has a hard time showing it.  Remember these are all of my options on Blitz. I am not saying his 100% perfect and does everything right. If you read this would have very clearly seen that I am not saying he's perfect. He's very much so not, I think he's an extremely relatable character to a lot of people. He has a lot of issues that people tend to overlook because they just want to see Blitz as a bad character. Especially when it comes to him and Stolas. A lot of people I have seen tend to victimize Stolas, which Stolas is not this perfect character either, he has done a lot of wrongs himself too. I will talk about that another time. But overall I think Blitz I a really good character and how they portray him is well and very relatable to a lot of people because of how he acts. Maybe this will help other people view Blitz differently and stop blaming him for everything. 

[nthspecialll]

Cracks open an oyster shell to reveal a slimy half baked fetus esque Dutch van def linde inside

Do you think this sick little freak of nature is neurodivergent… or has any other disorders.. npd… bpd… etc… (no pressure to like. Actually diagnose or anything I’m assuming you aren’t a licensed psychologist, more for character analysis. Thank you so much, love your work!)

Oh he definately has something but yes I am not a psychologist and my experience with ND is limited to autism, ADHD, OCD and dyslexia because those are my family heirlooms, thus I would not feel comfortable diagnosing him but what I can do is present what fits and what does not fit about the most common diagnosises that people put on him as well as pointing out things others with more experience with these diagnosises says.

NPD- Narcissism

Dutch believes himself to be superior to others, which is very visible in many different ways, like his tent being the most luxurious to not allowing Molly, his girl to work. Which is also a big part of his entitlement, he expects others to look up to him, he expects people to treat him well, to cater his every need, and he gets angry when people doesn't.

He lives on admiration, which can be why he leans so heavily over to Micah late game when everyone else pulls their attention away from him, causing him to get angry. This time he is also very unable to handle any critisism thrown his way, reacting aggressively to it rather than listening.

One of the most obvious signs that makes people think narcissism is his willingness to exploit other, from the gang memebers to the native americans, using everything to his own advandage. He even says it himself, he is helping the natives because it helps him.

He created that friendship with Eagle Flies beacuse it boosted his confidence and his image, he lived in Micah's friendship because it fed his confidence and his image.

Narcissists tend to lack empathy and he does state in a camp event with Susan and Arthur "did you hear that Arthur? I am meant to consider feelings now!" and he is also quite arrogant, talking down to Arthur when he tries to come up with a plan in chapter 6.

Now, that said, narcissists cannot form meaning bonds which Dutch has done several times, for example with Hosea and with The Count. They are actually known for being terrible animal owners and are known for being able to fake friendships for a short amount of time while using others, not for thirty years.

Narcissits are also prone to bragging, which we do not hear Dutch nor does he belittle other people's achievements, and while he can seem like he doesn't show feelings and empathy, he does. He is genuiently sorry when Arthur gets kidnapped by O'Driscolls, he is sad when Hosea dies, he listens to John when Jack is kidnapped.

I also would not say he is fishing for compliments, which they are known for, there are also requirements for narcisissm which we don't have enough information on, such as fragile ego and requent self-doubt.

Bipolar

Dutch in the beginning of rdr2 is a very regular dude, he has signs but he seems okay, but as time goes on, especially in chapter 4-6 we see him go up into something that can look like mania.

He does not sleep, he can work without rest. He is easily irritated, his self-esteem is through the roof and he is impulsive. He constantly obesses, he leans over to people who feeds his ego, he is paranoid and he has a lot of grandiosity.

In the first couple of chapters it does also seem like we have some episodes. After settling in Horseshoe Dutch says sorry to Hosea about Blackwater, that he made a fool of himself and doesn't know what happened, similarly with after Arthurs kidnapping.

But then we come to chapter 5-6. What does not fit here however is the fact we don't see a crash, mania cannot go on forever and yet through the months of chap 5-6 there is no crash, he does not return to his regular state. We also see the same things in rdr1, again, no crash and it has been years.

"That said, I've yet to see his crash. The mania, which separates bipolar from major depression, can't just go on forever." which was wisely said by a player diagnosed with bipolar.

Borderline personality disorder

Dutch has a very strong fear of being abanonded, he does not like others leaving him, thus he is willing to leave them first, such as leaving John in jail before allowing him to get out and leave him.

He has a lot of paranoia and looses touch with reality, such as the situation in which he is standing, but also randomly yelling out or talking to himself in chapter 6, similarly he is prone to impulsiveness, doing things that aren't exactly thought through which ends people being harmed.

While he doesn't make threats of self-harm, he did die by suicide, though I would say it was more a powerplay than a fear of abandonment.

He is quickly angered, especially in the later chapters and acts out violently throughout the story

Now we have some other "critiria" like wide moodwings and "Quick changes in how you see yourself," I saw a redditor say this: "Although Dutch sees himself as an anarchistic Robin Hood-type hero during RDR2, he's clearly conflicted by RDR1, presenting himself as both a freedom fighter and a savage who can't fight his own violent nature." And while that is true, it does not fit the critira. It is not a quick change going back and forth but rather a steady but stable decline to that. A lot of people forget that it isn't just a change, but a back and forth we need for this diagnosis, and to me it is more that he is, as said, steadily moving, when he has reached one level of "madness" he doesn't go back.

Then we have a few critera I don't think fits, like unstable relationships, he has a lot of longer, fairly stable relationships such as with Hosea and Arthur and John, those were stable for 30 years before falling apart at the end. Again we are missing the movement back and forth.

End Note

As said, I am not a psycologist and if anything is worded wrongly in a way that may seem offensive, I appologice and please let me know.

[warabidakihime]

Lost in Paradise: Chapter 1

★ characters: uzui tengen x reader X sanemi shinazugawa | modern au ★ plot summary: what happens when two people are left alone in a deserted island with no way of communicating with the outside world? they fall in love, of course. ★ fic playlist: TBA ★ content warnings : smut, profanity, implied adultery/cheating, slightly graphic.

a/n: aaaand here's the first chapter! thank you so much for waiting and thank you for all the likes, reblogs and comments! they made me really happy. means a lot, so thank you thank you. <3 i am genuinely surprised that the prologue is doing well considering this is a pretty cliche plot lol but i will do my best!

as always, comments and feed backs are highly appreciated! &lt;3

-

Murmurs may be heard from a distance, but Sanemi couldn't comprehend what they were saying, let alone who was speaking. He generally has excellent hearing, but they all sound like they're chewing their words.

He could also feel great pain all throughout his body, as if he were being hurled around or slammed against a wall, but he couldn't quite express his discomfort; it's like there was tape plastered on his lips, preventing him from being able to speak.

This has been going on for, who knows, how long? It's as if he's imprisoned in a horrible sleep paralysis, and no matter how hard he tries to get free, he still can't break free.

"What did they say? "

"Nothing," Obanai shook his head, scorn on his face as he scrolled through his phone, "if they can't locate any more survivors in the next five days, they'll declare everyone else dead or MIA."

"No way..."

Mitsuri clenched her hands around her lips, tears streaming down her cheeks.

It's been a week since your plane crashed, and thankfully, Sanemi survived. He fell immediately into the water, but because he was wearing a life vest, he managed to live. He did, however, have a severe spinal injury as a result of how hard he fell. He was unconscious by the time the rescuers found him three days after the incident.

Even though your two best friends wanted to rejoice over your fiance's survival, they couldn't since you were still missing.

According to the news, the plane you were on had mechanical flaws that were not detected by the crew, so the pilot was unable to execute an emergency landing until you were well into your journey. He lost control of the plane, which ultimately exploded and plummeted in the middle of the ocean.

It's been a week since the catastrophe, and the rescuers have been working constantly, but they have yet to discover you and a few other passengers. In truth, there were far more victims than survivors.

Although the doctor indicated that he is presently in stable condition, he is not fully out of the woods because he will require additional tests once he finally wakes up. Given the severity of his fall, there is a good chance that he is fully paralyzed from the waist down to his feet. There's also the possibility  that he'll remain in a vegetative state, considering Sanemi suffered from severe brain damage as well.

Obanai isn't the kind of person who likes to openly display his emotions, but every time he looks at his best friend, tears well up in his eyes, and his chest tightens with tremendous grief and worry for his dear friend.

He finds it extra difficult to look at Sanemi since he isn't used to seeing him in this way. His friend has always been boisterous and outgoing, but now that he's in the hospital, he's nearly lifeless and barely recognizable due to several facial injuries, a fractured neck, and a shattered jaw.

And the thought of telling him that you did not survive the plane accident would always send him into a tailspin.

With a heavy and unsteady exhale, he shifted his gaze away from Sanemi and back to his lover, pulling her into a tight hug. And as they collided, Mitsuri could hear Obanai's shaky breathing, meaning he was going through another panic attack.

"They still have five days to find Y/N. Let's not assume they won't find her; instead, let's trust they will. And by the time she returns, Sanemi will have regained consciousness, and we will be by their side as they recuperate." Obanai told Mitsuri as he comforted her.

Every word he spoke was laced with a prayer, hoping that it would strengthen their wish and that you would be able to hear them and finally come back home safely.

-

“Y/N!!!”

You screamed as you bolted awake from your deep slumber

"Oh, you're finally awake." 

You jerked your head towards the unknown voice, but before you could see who it was, you felt a tremendous amount of sharpshooting pain all throughout your body. Thankfully, Tengen was fast to respond to you despite his own injuries.

"Be careful; your wounds haven't completely healed, and you have a fractured leg and hips."

Since you were so preoccupied with grasping practically everything, his words did nothing except fly over your head.

The last thing you recalled was sleeping on Sanemi's shoulder when you heard the pilot's announcement, followed by a thunderous explosion from the plane's tail, and now you're in the middle of nowhere with a stranger.

Tengen knelt at your level but kept his distance so as not to scare or overwhelm you because you're already taking in so much in such a short space of time.

"Given that we're stranded on an island with very few resources, I could only give you treatments that were plausible, but I think it's safe to say you're out of the woods. At least for now. You were lucky your injuries were only minor to moderate," the man in front of you explained softly as he fixed the makeshift splint he made for your right leg and hips.

"A-ahh—" you winced as you felt pain in your hips. Tengen peered at you with worried eyes.

"I'm sorry, but please bear with me for a while; I'm just adjusting the splint; nevertheless, please let me know if the discomfort is too intense."

"Where are we? A-and who are you?"

"I was one of the passengers on the plane. We were flying over the ocean when the aircraft malfunctioned and crashed. I somehow ended up being drifted by the current to this island. Unfortunately, I don't know where exactly we are, but two days after the incident, I saw you drifting near the shore. It's been five days since then," Tengen explained.

"Five days plus the other two days make it a week since the plane crash."

Panic began to loom over you as you remembered one crucial thing, and then you began to glance around for your fiance, only to be confronted with nothing but the ocean and a desolate island, and your heart sank.

"What about Sanemi? I-I mean, when you saw me drifting in the sea, were you able to find another passenger? His name is Sanemi; he's my fiancé; he has white hair and very prominent features, and as far as I can remember, we were really close when the plane exploded. P-Please tell me you were able to rescue him as well."

You were sobbing and yelling at the innocent man at this point, hoping and praying that Sanemi was also safe and sound.

"At the very least, tell me he's alive! He has to be!"

Tengen's pained expression deepened, as did his sadness for you, as he watched you spiral as you looked for your partner, as if he'd appear if you squinted harder.

To be honest, you were really fortunate to survive with only minor to moderate injuries. A catastrophe of such magnitude is almost certain to kill everyone involved in an instant or, at the very least, cause long-term complications.

"I checked the perimeter of the island to see if there were any more stray passengers, but sadly, you were the first and last one I spotted. I’m sorry"

“No… That can’t be.”

Despite being a doctor–a healthcare provider, Tengen's ability to comfort others was not his greatest strength; in fact, he had very weak communication skills. He normally relies on the nurses at the hospital where he works for assistance if one of his patients needs a shoulder to lean on.

Tengen sat there frozen, feeling dumb, as you sank further into your emotions, big tears streaming down your cheeks as you grieved for your lover.

"This is hardly good news, but hear me out: as long as we're both safe, we can still get out of this, and who knows, maybe your fiance is also safe; for sure, they're still performing rescue operations, and maybe your fiance was located and saved. Let's try our best to survive till help arrives, okay?"

While you processed his words, silence prevailed in the area. It's possible that Sanemi received help sooner and is already back home, most likely healing from his own injuries and trauma.

Maybe he's alive and well and is waiting for you to come home.

Or he's already sixty feet deep in the ocean, lifeless. 

"Ah, no–" You shook your intrusive thoughts away as fast as they came. You looked like a cartoon character as you did that.

Tengen was taken aback by the abrupt and out-of-character gesture (considering your current predicament). As he watched you and waited for you to process your emotions, a small voice resonated from his head.

Cute

And as quickly as the thought occurred to him, he slapped it away. You're bawling your eyes out, longing for your partner, and he's checking you out?

So not the time, and not to mention, you're both taken.

Just like you, he's already in a "committed" relationship with someone.

He was on his way to Rome to attend school for six months, as his father had commanded since they were aiming to grow their business. Being a doctor had never been his dream and was only forced onto him by his father since his family came from a clan of doctors, so naturally, he "should" follow suit. 

He was dreading the day he will leave for school, but one thing that enticed him was the fact that he will go alone and Makio will stay in Japan; then came the plane crash and your current situation.

Not that he loves his own wife in the same way you do your fiance, for he and Makio married for convenience and their parents' desires. It may sound so wrong and so morbid, but he feels slightly relieved that he was finally granted the space he has been yearning for.

It's as if he wished for the plane crash to happen just to get away from the people who continue to tether him to the ground with their selfish reasons.

You have finally managed to calm down. Albeit still feeling like shit, a small part of you feels a bit more optimistic.

"Sorry for lashing out on you like that."

Tengen smiled and said, "It's okay. Your feelings are valid."

After your (rightful) emotional outburst, you finally have it in you to properly face the kind stranger who helped you.

"My name's y/n, l/n y/n, and you are?"

"Uzui Tengen. I'm a doctor, by the way, so you're at least assured you're in good hands." Tengen said with a chuckle, "Thank you. I really appreciate your help."

"You're welcome. Now, let's get you situated. While you were still unconscious, I was trying to catch fish so that we could eat together. I've managed to catch a few; let me just start a fire so we can finally cook them. You’re still fairly injured, so just take it easy for now."

“Okay…”

Tengen was ready to go to work on the campfire when he turned around and extended his hand in your direction.

"What?" you said as you gazed up at him, perplexed.

"Nice to meet you, y/n," the man in front of you said as he initiated a handshake with you.

"Nice to meet you as well," you said sheepishly.

As you watched Tengen prepare the campfire and, basically, your turf that will be your home for god knows how long, your mind continued to wander.

Tears well up in your eyes as you think of Sanemi, even more so when your gaze lands on your engagement ring.

"Nemi..." you whimpered as you continued to stare at the vast ocean.

More tears came down your face as horror, worry, and loneliness continued to hit you relentlessly as you yearned heavily for the love of your life.

If you are truly safe and sound at home, please come rescue me as soon as possible, Sanemi.

-

Taglist: @sulli1361 @honey--blade@smileykiddie08 @i-simp-for-giyuu @babygirl-panda19 @hypnocountrymusicfunnyfan @exodarkwolf16 @qdreamueen @vesta-ro

[acti-veg]

hi,

i was wondering if you think severely mentally ill people should have euthanasia as an option

i know this might be a difficult question to answer so please don’t feel you have to but i value your opinion

bc i believe the level of mental health support needed by some people does not exist, and they may suffer immensely their whole lives

i know you have to consider various factors including the effect on family etc but say someone has an incurable mental illness, wants to die and has no loved ones - and may actually cause more harm alive than dead - should they be allowed to die?

say the decision is not impulsive but they’ve suffered with their mental health for many years and tried lots of forms of treatment which hasn’t helped?

i feel all of the above apply to me apart from i do have family who wouldn’t want me to do it but at the same time staying alive for decades when you’re suffering pretty much constantly seems like a big ask :(

I'm going to try to answer this as a general ethical question. Whether I believe assisted dying should be an option for those who have been through the proper processes and can receive the relevant care, and whether I believe you specifically should be 'allowed to die' are totally different questions. I am not comfortable even commenting on the latter one given that I am not a professional and have very little information to go on, as I'm sure you can understand.

I believe in the right to self-determination for everyone, so long as they have the capacity to make their own decisions. That should include both how we live our lives, and the manner and timing of our deaths.

The practicalities and various lines that must be drawn are complex, but organisations like DIGNITAS already provide a good model. They require that participants be of sound mind, but what they mean by that is really just that the person is capable of making their own decision about their own condition. Their statement on the matter includes the following:

"Contrary to a widely-held opinion, people suffering from mental health problems normally have sufficient capacity of discernment to decide whether they would like to continue living or end their life. Therefore, and as a general rule, they are entitled to ask for an accompanied suicide and receive assistance just as much as people suffering from physical health problems, in order to avoid the high risk of failure. The same applies to healthy people who wish to end their life because they feel that it has become too arduous for them due to old age. There are no rational reasons to patronise these people through paternalism."

Of course, this is all has to be determined by a process of conversations and assessments by professionals. I would say though, that nobody should be dying because they can't access proper mental or physical health care; an organisation like DIGNITAS can only really provide it's intended function in a society where healthcare is accessible. Otherwise, you essentially just have 'your options are deal with it or die,' and we can't let those be the only choices available to people.

It's a difficult thing to think about and there will never be any ideal 'solution', but we have to stop assuming that someone wanting to end their life necessarily means that they are in some way deranged or cannot be trusted to think for themselves. People must be allowed to make their own decisions about their own healthcare, which should include both passive and active euthanasia.

Again though, I want to emphasise that this is a scenario where someone has access to proper mental health care, have been through the relevant assessments, the legal processes, made arrangements for what happens after death, disclosed all of this to the relevant parties and is being properly assisted. That won't be the case for someone thinking about this in isolation, who do not have access to a service like DIGNITAS. In short, assisted dying and suicide in the way we usually think of it are not the same thing.

For what it's worth, I'm always here if you want to talk to someone. Even if you just need someone outside the situation to vent to, then my inbox is always open. Take care of yourself, anon.

[mewintheflesh-2]

More Nightsky Headcanons :) Mostly About Winona, Mikey, and Nikey.

(Got some whump in this one.) (is it whump?) (I think so idk)

Winona likes to call Mikey Sky-Boy in a taunt kind of way, but a “I love you, idiot” kind of way

Mikey is not good at hiding his emotions as I’ve discussed, so sometimes he’ll just look at Winona in like any formal-wear and he just “Uhhhh, uhhhh einwidheiwneieneie hi” and his face is like red as a tomato and Winona’s just like LMAO Arceus I fucking love you

FOREHEAD KISSES all the time, hand kisses, they’re very comfortable with moderate PDA, but they’re like all over eachother when they’re mostly alone. Constantly hugging, holding hands, you know the drill. They’re so fucking adorable

Mikey is pretty decent at flirting, but Winona is always on top of her game. Flirting between the two almost always starts with Mikey saying something pretty good, and then Winona just knocking him to the ground metaphorically with something he could’ve never even guessed, something that leaves him absolutely stunned in the best way possible. He wants to someday find something he can say that will make Winona feel the same way.

Also, the outside of Team Sky’s base is decked the fuck out with wind chimes of all kinds. The area it’s in gets a shit ton of wind, which has also resorted in the base being partly wind powered.

anyways back to the Nightsky

Nikey often finds himself holding his own hand when he’s alone just to have some sense of what he used to have with Winona

Despite him very much being cursed, people outside his close proximity only know it to be a rumour. He prefers to keep it that way and will very much dock the pay of anyone who is too persistent to know.

The skin around the cursed eye is like… really gross. Like Marvel’s Spider Man 2 Symbiote Suit gross. The green dot below the eye has the texture and material of marble. The red iris can burn through almost any fabrics aside from one, which is exactly what his eyepatch is made of. He is EXTREMELY insecure about how the skin around his eye is and if anybody brings it up, he will either A. Threaten to kill them. B. Hurt them physically. Or C. Just leave and then hide away from everything and everyone. Depends on his mood.

There was a point in time where he got deadly sick for like a week, almost died, and nobody knew because everyone assumed he was just self isolating again. He didn’t think of his sickness as much at first, just a small cold, he’ll just wait it out. But as it went on, and he began to feel worse, he began having intense physical symptoms, began to be unable to stand even with a cane. He began to rely on dry snacks in his house as he couldn’t do anything to cook for himself, which only worsened his condition as it was mostly unhealthy food. He was lucky he even had any water in his room in the first place, otherwise he surely would’ve been dead long before anyone found him.

He couldn’t call for help either. His voice was too quiet and hoarse to call out for the bodyguards standing guard right outside his house. He began to experience extreme delirium and even when he was breaking things inside his house in an attempt to call attention to someone, anyone- to help him. The guards just assumed he was having another episode. Constant burning inside his body, jolts of pain coarse go through his body like lightning any time he moved. He couldn’t sleep either, which only worsened his delirium and caused more intense hallucinations. Hallucinations of people he loved, people he lost, whether by death or otherwise. Hallucinations of people he killed.

It wasn’t until he crawled to his front door, scratching and clawing, unable to stand up to reach all the locks he had brandished on the entrance to his house, that someone finally opened the door and saw the horrible state he was in. His hair was a mess, his skin was dirty, he was barely clothed, and his eyepatch was missing. He began to be treated on sight by his personal doctor, who was called for an emergency to his house. But his condition was far too severe for that to suffice. He was taken to the nearest hospital and put into emergency treatment.

Turns out, the reason he had fallen so deathly ill was due to a deadly poison known as “Parasect G” which is known to kill any recipient within the next 24 hours after consumption. The doctors said it was a miracle Nikey had even survived for as long as he did, especially with how he was handling it. The doctors also found that his body had been suffering from long term and deadly amounts of intense stress. They ended up keeping him in the hospital for months to get his body to be even remotely healthy.

Nikey hadn’t realised just how exhausted and in pain he’d been for the past 5 years. And when he found himself alone in his hospital room, all he could do was cry. He’d been so… tired. All this time he was so tired- and now he was feeling it, all at once. He just wanted to curl into a ball and dissipate into pure light. All he could do now… was make the most of his hospital-ridden state, and just take the time to just… rest. Weeks after recovery, Nikey found himself vaguely wishing that it had taken him out. Or that he could atleast be that close to the brink again, because atleast then, he could be taken to the hospital again, and have time to breathe again. He has a purpose, he’s the ruler of the world, and yet… he feels so lost. Like he’s waiting for something that’ll never come, that he doesn’t even know what it is. But he’s holding out for something.

And he will get that something. Whatever it may be.

[marikosfragrance]

BLUE LOCK

<*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*>

Characters : Seishiro Nagi, Mikage Reo, Shidou Ryusei, Bachira Meguru

Contents : My thoughts on whether or not they'll actually fall in love? Depending on the character, how long will it take? And what conditions must be met for it to happen? And, depending on the character, will they not fall in love at all?

Note : Please keep in mind that this is my own interpretation of how characters will take on this situation and act on them, I don’t however assume and force this into a canonical aspect, I am not the creator of Blue Lock so take this post however you'd like if it is canon enough for you, or if it isnt, everyone has their own interpretations on each characters, but I am merely showcasing how I interpreted them, taking heed of the information in the manga and anime at hand, as I am trying to understand their character. There might be some information that lacks, maybe in the case of shidou, but it is only because we havent caught a glimpse of his past yet, and thus I am unable to fully grasp his entire characters, but once again, this is just my own interpretation. Thank you, and enjoy reading.

Nagi Seishiro

Can they fall in love? : Too lazy for it. I am sure Nagi can feel things, and develop feelings, but he wouldn't outright desire for the feeling of love. Nagi is described as laid back, unbothered, and deems hard work as an irrelevance. In the Nagi movie, this is further proved when he mentions how working hard, for academics, clubs, and love is a hassle and too much work for him. He sees himself in a future where he isn't working, is living good and satisfied and he sees it as enough for him.

But then again—

Nagi is no doubt still a human. So despite him not seeing it in his future, there is no room for guarante that he won't fall in love especially with the right person for him. Nagi fits into one of those tropes where the character can fall in love and develop feelings for someone, but they never envision it for themselves, yet they find it coming to them at the most unexpected times, then suddenly their whole view on it changes and they see themselves being with that person. Nagi wouldn't directly try and find love, he isn't desperate nor does he feel like it. However, in his case, if he were to fall in love, it would be in a situation where love comes to him.

How long would it take? : 5-6 months? Nagi might start falling in love in that duration, but he won't recognize the feeling until someone brings it up which would take more than 5-6 months for sure.

What conditions should be met? :

1. That other person initiates. I cannot see him being the first to do the "forming of connection".

2. That person respects his boundaries and doesn't try forcing him to do things outside of his comfort zone, unless he has already started to have feelings, if that person tries to force him to do something, only at the beginning of their growing connection, Nagi would view them as a hassle and it might cause some strains in their relationship.

3. However, by the end of it, Nagi is someone that probably won't have any room for complaints if someone truly wishes to be with him. For him, deep inside— no one would put up with him as much as that person that is trying their best to make a connection with him.

Reo being one of the few people that he views as someone he has become attached to, is a great example.

But if someone wants a deep, romantic connection, it wouldn't be so problematic compared to others. That person just has to initiate.

Mikage Reo

Can they fall in love? : Yes, he can. I don't see Reo being unable to fall inlove.

Reo is someone that is sociable and just from this alone says a lot about his character. He is able to form connections, socialize, make meaningful relationships with people. It wouldn't be surprising if he does indeed fall inlove.

How long will it take? : For Reo, it depends. The person has to be constantly involved in his life if ever that person wants to speed up the process. However, I believe Reo will try to also keep his mind to his success, such as soccer and winning the world Cup. He has grown up being dissatisfied with gaining things as easily with a snap of his fingers. For him, soccer is a way for him to redeem and prove himself, to both his parents and his own sense of self. Unless that person really catches his attention, I think he would fall in love, acts on it but only develop it further once he achieved his dream.

He would fall in love, that's for sure but he is responsible and if he sets his eyes on a goal, i feel he wouldnt be the type to back down on it. He also manages his time responsibly in which might aid him into giving time for the person that he fancy, but he would only further develop the relationship once he has his goals cleared up or achieved.

How long would it take? : I think if he has a type, he would stick with it, but maybe he would reconsider if the person intrigues him greatly.

If the person is his type, attraction would take a week and falling inlove in a month or more. But if the person isn't his type, it would take him around 4 months at the least, or more if ever.

What conditions must be met for him to fall inlove?:

1. He finds time.

2. The person intrigues him

I can place more, but it might feel forced so let's stick with this for now. Reo is responsible than most characters in blue lock, he has a broad view of how social circles work, and has a deep understanding with making connections. He can fall inlove and exert time to it if he sees the person as worthy of it.

I cannot see him wasting time on fleeting relationships, if he falls in love— he is serious.

Shidou Ryusei

Can they fall in love? : Absolutely. Shidou is a free person— someone that even chains have nothing against to. He feels whatever he likes. Does whatever he wants, and proceeds to life how he sees it. His character is quite complex for me to understand with the lack of information, on his character and his past. But with the information I currently have on him, in the anime, manga and the trivia. I can tell that shidou is someone that embodies the concept of freedom. For him, he also has his own philosophy on life and stays true to it. I feel like if someone just matches his vibe, doesn't restrain him, and will accept him for who he is, he would feel accepted and eventually fall for that person.

That person doesn't necessarily have to match his vibe, that person can also be someone that keeps him grounded and knows when to step up. But someone that matches how he does things can also make him "explode".

How long would it take : With the right action, it wouldn't take so long. Maybe even a few weeks, if done right. However, if the person is someone that doesnt show their emotions often, it might take a bit longer, but still not as long as the others, Shidou is upfront about his feelings, so if he feels the slightest thing for a person, he isn't afraid to own up to it which is why it wouldn't take so long for him.

What conditions must be met :

1. That person isn't someone that restricts his freedom.

2. The person can accept him for who he is.

3. That person can make him "explode" or so he says, which I think means— make him excited or makes him feel like his freedom is understood

In short, absolutely. He can fall inlove. But the person also has to be someone accepting. I think personality wouldn't matter much, nor the face or physical features, what matters to him is someone that can either keep him grounded and understands his freedom but still refrain him from overdoing things, or someone that understands his concept as a whole and embodies it themselves and also does things that matches his.

Bachira Meguru

Can they fall in love? : Yes, Bachira can fall in love. Bachira is someone that has their fear of being alone, the fear of loneliness. For me, it wouldn't be too unusual if he even craves something like love. Currently, friends that can play soccer with him is already enough to satiate his loneliness however, if someone is willing to love him, I dont see him being the one to complain— he might even just accept then there and then if he sees himself with that person.

But it doesn't mean he just accepts whoever shows interest in him. Bachira has endured loneliness in the past but that doesn't make him desperate to the point of letting anyone that has interest in him, date him on the spot. He can be aware of things, and understand situations. Bachira might fall for anyone with the right intentions. Or those he deems interesting and have formed an emotional connection over.

But if he feels they are it— Bachira would start to cling to this said person, his loneliness dependant on them.

How long would it take : A month atleast. But if they are someone that Bachira can tell is kind, or someone that has no ulterior motive, or just simply interests him, he wouldn't be afraid to fall for that person, even if the fear of being left alone is there deep inside. A month, or less.

What conditions must be met :

1. That person must be someone he has formed an emotional connection with.

2. He wouldn't be picky, he might even feel like no one would want him deep down inside.

3. If someone shows interest in him, they must have their attention all on him, no secondary interest, no any room left for other people, otherwise Bachira's fear of being left alone and abandonment would trigger and he might start to doubt.

In short, yes he can. But I see Bachira as someone that doesnt want to endure the hurt of being left alone, so he must really be sure this person won't do it. If he starts dating someone, he would no doubt treasure them deep down inside, thinking no one else other than this person would want to be with him.

-------------------------------------

[oediex]

You know what, yeah, that bell hooks quotation wasn't appropriate, it doesn't say what the person who added it think it says.

But I don't think it's fair to say that that man who everyone is pissing on somehow claimed we had to "hold his hand" or "coddle" him or whatever. Or even that women had to do it.

He never once even mentioned the word 'woman' in that post. I'm not excluding that that what he was implying - it's very possible! - but what he said was "the left", and let's be clear, this is his understanding of what the left is. I saw people saying that a "self-proclaimed leftist" should understand that his answer was still drenched in patriarchal thinking. But he never once proclaimed he was a leftist. Perhaps he thinks he is, but all he said was that he got "out" of the "alt-right". For all we know, that means he voted for the Democratic Party and we, who are on the left, all know that's not the fucking left.

The question that was posed was how do we keep young men from turning right wing, and he offered an explanation. An explanation! Not an excuse! Again something that a lot of people just assumed.

And yes, it was a flawed explanation, and yes he has some things to learn, and yes it was uncritical and terribly phrased.

But can we recognise that not everyone has the necessary critical thinking skills to completely dig their way out of the overarching ideology that fucking rules our lives? Critical thinking skills aren't something that we are born with. It's something that is learned, something that you have to train. It's a never-ending project. And from what I know of the educational system in the US? That's not where you get it.

Speaking of bell hooks, at least she understands this. In that book (The Will to Change) she writes that "most men never think about patriarchy - what it means, how it is created and sustained." She writes how the patriarchy sees men's violence and the one emotion they're allowed to have, anger, as "natural". Understanding the patriarchy is something that has to be learned, and you either figure it out yourself by reading, but most of us probably had someone in our lives who talked to us about it, taught us about it, and then we might have started reading more about it.

What if you don't have someone like that? What if all you hear is that the things feminists tell you is bad is what was imprinted on you as "natural" to you?

Here's bell hooks:

Yet no one talks about the role patriarchal notions of manhood play in teaching boys that it is their nature to kill, then teaching them that they can do nothing to change this nature—nothing, that is, that will leave their masculinity intact.

Here's what she says of her own brother:

As patriarchal thinking and action claimed him in adolescence, he learned to mask his loving feelings. He entered that space of alienation and antisocial behavior deemed “natural” for adolescent boys.

She clearly pinpoints the moment of these patriarchal ideas taking hold to be in adolescent, and the question that was posed was, what can we do to stop that from happening? I've seen people say that nothing can be done until we change the material conditions that make it so that men systematically have power over women. And yeah, undoubtedly that is a fight we need to have. But is that truly the only way we can keep (some) boys from falling into the grasp of the (alt-)right? Is there no hope in at least reaching them in the meantime?

I've seen a post saying, "omg of course he goes for misandry" and while misandry isn't real in that men are not systematically oppressed, that doesn't mean that there aren't some out there who express hatred or disgust of men. That's not what the left stands for, obviously, but it is not absent. Here are some comments from the notes on some of these reaction posts (and presumably these are all people who consider themselves leftists):

"you should be hunted for sport"

"makes me want to commit homocide"

"kys right now"

"'leftists constantly said i should die' yeah fucking right"

"we need to double male loneliness and I'm not even kidding"

"I HATE MEN AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. THEY HATE US MORE AND THEY HAVE ALL THE POWER TO DO ACTUAL HARM TO US. Misandry is NOT FUCKING REAL but I wish it was"

"we should kill people who don't get it"

Is that hatred of men (non-systematically)? Not all of it, but some of it definitely or possibly qualifies. And it sure does look like some people (who probably think themselves leftists) think this man (or men in general) are the "scum of the earth" and that they want him/them dead. How else do you interpret some of these phrases?

Now imagine that this is something that you encounter online, and with the help of the stranglehold of the patriarchy, whispers of right wing ideology, confirmation bias, and negativity bias? I can imagine you might end up concluding they "hate you for your immutable traits" (remember patriarchy teaches boys that violence and anger is natural to them) and that they "blame you for everything that's wrong in the world".

Is that the right conclusion? No. But as much as being able to use reason is part of being human, so is not being immune to ideology and propaganda. We wouldn't fucking be where we are right now if that wasn't the case.

How do we teach boys that anger and violence aren't "immutable traits"? How do we educate them about the power of the patriarchy? Well, where does it have to come from if not from the fucking left?

Does it have to be you? No. Does it have to be women? Also no. It's probably good if it's men, and especially men who themselves walked with the right at some point (if someone has already been pulled into the right, rather than catching them before).

It can be a woman though, if there's someone who wants to do it. I don't mind doing it if someone wants to talk about it. Will I be nice? No, I won't hold back and I will tell them if what they're saying is wrong. Will I coddle them? Fuck no. Will I keep trying if someone clearly isn't listening? No. Will I be compassionate? Yeah, I think I will.

Because compassion is really important when you're trying to keep people from falling into the far-right, or even if you're trying to get them out of it (which again, isn't what we were talking about in the first place).

Here's Pete Simi, professor of Sociology, talking about Life After Hate, an American non-profit that tries to help people leave the far-right:

The organization was started by former hate group members who have been doing a lot of outreach in terms of providing testimonials and trainings to schools and law enforcement and other community groups across the country. The focus of their message is the importance of using compassion to inform prevention and intervention efforts and aftercare for individuals who want to change their lives but may need various types of support. I think LAH is a very promising development and I hope it will continue to find the resources that it needs to expand the services it provides.

Being compassionate doesn't mean coddling. It doesn't mean holding their hands and it doesn't even mean being nice to them. It doesn't exclude holding people accountable for their views. It does require patience, though. And I understand that if someone is holding the belief that you are not allowed to exist, that isn't something you can do. And that's fine. It doesn't have to be you.

But somebody has to do it, and it has to be someone on the left.

Now none of that means that the suffering of men under patriarchy, and the fact that this has to be addressed loud and clear, are more important than the suffering that women, and especially women whose oppression intersects with other levels of oppression. I've seen some tags on reaction posts that stated "omg of course centring men in discussions of gender" - but the post was about men. That was the whole starting point!

Because men do suffer under the patriarchy. And it's pushing them to the right, towards misogyny and racism, unless they develop the necessary critical thinking skills to understand their own suffering. And you know who thinks so too? bell hooks.

Often men, to speak the pain, first turn to the women in their lives and are refused a hearing. In many ways women have bought into the patriarchal masculine mystique. Asked to witness a male expressing feelings, to listen to those feelings and respond, they may simply turn away.

Since men have yet to organize a feminist men’s movement that would proclaim the rights of men to emotional awareness and expression, we will not know how many men have indeed tried to express feelings, only to have the women in their lives tune out or be turned off.

It is a form of abuse that this culture continues to deny. Boys socialized to become patriarchs are being abused. As victims of child abuse via socialization in the direction of the patriarchal ideal, boys learn that they are unlovable.

The patriarchal model that tells men that they must be in control at all times is at odds with cultivating the capacity to be responsible, which requires knowing when to control and when to surrender and let go. Responsible men are capable of self-criticism. If more men were doing the work of self-critique, then they would not be wounded, hurt, or chagrined when critiqued by others, especially women with whom they are intimate. Engaging in self-critique empowers responsible males to admit mistakes. When they have wronged others, they are willing to acknowledge wrongdoing and make amends. When others have wronged them, they are able to forgive. The ability to be forgiving is part of letting go of perfectionism and accepting vulnerability. At the same time, constructive criticism works only when it is linked to a process of affirmation. Giving affirmation is an act of emotional care. Wounded men are not often able to say anything positive. They are the grump-and-groan guys; cloaked in cynicism, they stand at an emotional distance from themselves and others. Affirmation brings us closer together. It is the highest realization of compassion and empathy with others. One of the negative aspects of antimale feminist critiques of masculinity was the absence of any affirmation of that which is positive and potentially positive in male being. When individuals, including myself, wrote about the necessity of affirming men and identifying them as comrades in struggle, we were often labeled male-identified. The women who attacked us did not understand that it was possible to critique patriarchy without hating men. Indeed, recognizing all the ways that males have been victimized by patriarchy (even though they received rewards) was a way of including men in feminist movement, welcoming their presence and honoring their contribution.

“in order to create loving males we need to love males” means teach boys that they can be themselves without being less of a man. it means being encouraging and nurturing of their emotions so they don’t become cold and hateful. it means showing boys, early in their lives, that they have value outside of what our society deems proper masculinity. what it doesn’t mean is that it’s our job to handhold men who see women as walking sex toys through the concept of empathy, and maybe if we’re really really nice to them and don’t say things that hurt their feelings they’ll stop killing us for saying no

[chaosvents]

A post about my ex who fucked me up so bad hahahaha.

Tw this guy is literally pro-hitler so like. If any or the isms and phobias bug you don't read any of my posts about him lol

So anyway one of this guy's wildest beliefs was that your personal politics should be actively NOT self serving. Like he told me that I shouldn't be pro-birth control/plan b/abortion even though I had been sexually assaulted and relied on those things to avoid pregnancy, because my attacker was white. So he was like honestly you would've been worth more in the world if you had his kid. For the greater good or whatever.

And he would lecture me for hours and hours and hours at a time about how I should basically chemically lobotomize myself with mood stabilizers until I had no opinions of my own, because I was a white woman and should really not do anything but repeatedly have kids. And I was expected to be like yep this is the life I want.

When we moved to phoenix, he was aware of my heart condition. I have POTS, which mixes horrifically with heat like that. We lived there for 3 years and most of that time I was in bed sick because the heat made my illness so much worse. I relied on him for everything.

I developed a bunch of shitty coping skills that probably have fancy psychology names like cognitive dissonance (which is like doublethink, which I did constantly for all 5 years and I'm sure it caused brain damage or something tbh) but it all boiled down to me completely buying that he was the only person on the planet who could tolerate me and that I had to bend to his will or be alone forever. It's been years since I even saw him and I still haven't dated seriously or gotten close with anyone.

I hold everyone at arms length, barely text my friends and am disconnected from everything and floating through life atm. Still trying to reverse all the damage he did. I have no self worth and no metric for what it feels like to be loved instead of just owned and controlled. I don't know what I want out of my life.

I don't understand how I could have let myself be so controlled by him. Why did I move across the entire country with him? Why did I let him push all my friends out of my life, change my career (he didn't approve of me being a barber because it was "basically like being a stripper"), and cross 8 states to get away from my life? To be... with him? Why did I let him convince me I was a docile, sweet, straight woman who wanted nothing more than tradwife and babymaking duties?

Even after I came out as what I thought was lesbian at the time, he still demanded sex from me multiple times a day and wouldn't take his computer stuff out of the second bedroom so I could sleep there. I had to sleep next to him and let him do whatever he wanted to me because he was paying the rent. I was forced into it so often that I convinced myself I liked it. Which is probably why now I'm so confused by my sexuality. What's a trauma response? What's genuine attraction? Who knows.

In march of 2020 I lost my job. He immediately kicked me out and I had to find an apartment alone, with no job, across the country from my family, in the middle of a pandemic. I've never had a worse mental health situation in my life and I've been inpatient 4 times. I barely remember any of 2020 because guess what? It isn't like I was allowed to stop having sex with him and showering with him because we didn't live together. He showed up constantly. Stole my spare key and made a copy so he could come in whenever he wanted to.

So why didn't I call the cops or something? Idk. I didn't really register that it was a problem at the time, he had been torturing me with stuff like this since I 19. By the time I was living alone in a shitty studio during a pandemic with no friends and my family a $400 plane ticket away, I just assumed that my life was being forced to perform a blow job, then let him fuck me, then showering in my tiny apartment shower with him while he leered and stared and grabbed my body, and then watch him play video games on his PC afterwards while sitting in silence on the bed.

One time he took away all my birth control pills and made me watch while he flushed them all. Going off of them suddenly made my lamictal way too strong (and of course he was force feeding me the lamictal so there was no such thing as adjusting the dose) and I got what I'm assuming was serotonin syndrome. I was blacking put, vomiting, hallucinating, terrified, and completely alone. I was calling him because he took away everyone else in my life and all I had was him. I drove to his apartment and begged for help. He ignored me and let me lay unconscious in my car outside his apartment for hours and hours in the middle of the day. In phoenix, in July.

I don't know what happened that day. I don't know what he did to me, but eventually I woke up at home. I found my car in the parking lot of a nearby grocery store.

I'm lucky I got away alive and without a baby. No one deserves to inherit half of my shitty genome and half of his. I'm lucky I got away at all, but not until he broke my spirit, took away all my support, dragged me across the country to a climate that made me severely ill, repeatedly forced me into sex after I came out, gaslit me, made me homeless mid pandemic, then continued to abuse his power until it literally almost killed me.

I met this guy when I was in high school. We were together from when I was 19. We moved to phoenix when I was 22 and he controlled me until I moved back home in July of 2022 when I was 26. The final straw was when I went out on my own for the first time in years and the bartender put drugs in my drink. I woke up alone in a swanky downtown apartment and when I called him to pick me up he told me if I was going to behave like a slut he wasn't going to bail me out.

Problem is I'm really REALLY allergic to both alcohol and roofies so I was horribly dehydrated as well as missing medication doses at this point, so I walked in the 100° heat to the ER. I got a sane exam where they found semen, a plan b pill, and a lengthy interview by about a dozen police officers. I couldn't bear to be alone in my apartment after that so I had the cops drop me off at a psych hospital.

I got my meds switched, went home, cleared out my apartment, broke my lease, and went home to my family. I'm safe now. But he's still haunting me. I don't know if I'll ever be okay.

Sorry.

[lemonhemlock]

I've been reading through the conversation regarding Aemond and 'unconditional love' and I could 100% see how Aemond could see his relationship with his mother as conditional. Alicent is shown to be struggling mentally, to be frustrated at times with Helaena and exasperated with Aegon. It would only be all too easy for little Aemond to form the opinion that his mother's affection is conditional on him being a prodigal son, on him behaving a certain way.

Not to start a fire, just my thoughts

Hello & don't worry, I'm not going to bite your head off. Different perspectives are welcome! It's good to be able to talk about this universe without going on a rampage every time someone develops a divergent take. Sadly, oftentimes people block each other or become catty whenever someone just as much as deviates slightly from a particular set interpretation.

The main reason I think why Alicent fans get so defensive about her is because society has a really fucked-up, unhealthy obsession with criticizing mothers over every single thing. People who have traversed motherhood constantly complain about the pressure of being perfect and not being able to rise up to society's expection, of the hurt they feel at being regularly castigated and condemned. For a child bride and victim of marital rape, Alicent is shown very little empathy from large swathes of the fandom. She is a bad mother who hates her children and is guilty of setting them against Rhaenyra. That's a very, very uncharitable view, to say the least.

It does my head in to think of how these people actually interact or judge mothers in real life. For example, a lot of them look at young!Alicent desperately trying to comfort a crying Helaena and see that as proof that her daughter hates her or that she hates her daughter. Do they really have the same reaction if they see a desperate mother on the street, close to tears because her baby won't shut up and she doesn't know what else to do to calm her down? Seven hells.

Alicent is obviously in over her head as a child herself with four young children. She is overwhelmed by her new responsibilities as queen and mother and hasn't been allowed to finish her own development as a person. To top that off, she is afraid for their lives. She is going to make mistakes; who wouldn't? Rhaenyra is allowed to interact with motherhood on a vastly different level - she is allowed to explore her sexuality, conceive children on her own terms and is oblivious to the dangers that surround them because of their bastardy. She is, no doubt, going to be a calmer, more indulgent mother overall.

To return to your question, I do believe Aemond has a huge chip on his shoulder and is struggling with self-confidence issues already. To add to his precarious social position, he is also disabled and disfigured. That does a lot of damage to a person's self-esteem. He's not going to have a positive outlook on life and assume the best of people. I can see him sinking so low as to view himself as unbefitting and valueless.

Can that feeling project to his mother? Perhaps. He may very well come to subconsciously believe that, as wretched as he is, he has to overcompensate and become the perfect son & heir in all other aspects, so as to secure everyone's admiration, yes, including his mother's. This can happen no matter how much Alicent assures him that she loves him (she obviously has problems verbalizing this, but doesn't mean she doesn't feel it).

There can also be an element of competition with Aegon - who craves his parents' approval above anything: Aegon gets everything handed over on a platter anyway, but the one thing Aegon can't get (but Aemond can) is Alicent's approval. So he's going to work as hard as possible to ensure that he never loses it and never becomes like Aegon in her eyes. Which is ironic considering what happens with Luke.

But this is all very nuanced stuff and there is a lot more to it than the merciless characterization of Alicent's love being dependent on Aemond doing his homework or something equally trite. Of course there are limits (for all for us!) when it comes to gaining a parent's approval - it's normal human behaviour, not evil or reprehensible. No parent would want their child to drink themselves to death and sleep with nigh every sex worker in the city. Aegon is a very extreme example for someone supposedly not living up to Alicent's exacting standards.

The comparison to Vhagar comes into play here, but is that truly supposed to be a good thing? Vhagar is a dragon, she goes roar, eats people, dracarys. She is not a complex person in a difficult social situation. Of course she doesn't care whether Aemond performs his duties or not, she's a dragon. Does that mean that Aemond should be allowed to act in society in any old way he wants, just because Vhagar would still consider him her rider? Alicent shouldn't be viewed as an evil/person for wanting her children to behave and trying to discipline them when they don't. Equally, it's very understandable why Aemond would find Vhagar's indifference for his level of social conformity very, very attractive and escapist.

We can have debates about the breakdown in communication between parents and children and about what the lack of mental health awareness does to these relationships without vilifying a mother trying her best (and who, herself, is a victim of abuse). Alicent is not wandering around the Red Keep with a university degree in child development and psychology, after all.

Thanks for dropping by!