#like for your psyche or financial/relationship advice

[mareastrorum]

Adding onto this. I'm an attorney, but I don't work in this area.

Get an estate planning attorney. Don't rely on services like Legal Zoom because they're literally just forms that may not be the best option for you or your family. You want a lawyer for the advice.

Family, estate, trust, guardianship/conservatorship, and adoption laws all vary by state. They don't change very often, but they can be difficult to navigate. What the documents are called, what they can do, and what happens without them all vary by state. Get an attorney licensed in the state where you live.

Most attorneys in this practice area offer packages like (a) a simple will alone, (b) a full set of documents, (c) trusts + other docs, etc. These packages usually are meant to cover a certain amount of hours working on the documents, including the back and forth discussions and going in to sign the documents with witnesses and a notary. Your retainer agreement will likely mention that if they go over that number of hours, there's an additional charge; it's unlikely that prepping the plan would take more than 10 lawyer/paralegal hours except in complex cases. Depending on the attorney's experience and geographical area, it may be a few hundred dollars for a package.

Some attorneys may suggest an hourly rate instead of a package. Don't psyche yourself into thinking you'll save money because you'll save money by not asking questions. You should ask questions. Get a package. People who need to pay an hourly rate (for however long it takes) are people who have so much money and so many assets to account for, they don't really worry about the rate or the hours.

Before you meet with an attorney, make a basic list of what you're worried about. Do you have property or savings that need to be taken into account? Do you have kids? Is anyone on their second+ marriage? A good attorney will have a pretty comprehensive questionnaire or interview to figure out your needs, but you still want to go in with a general idea so that you're ready to talk about it.

You may want to ask the attorney if they work in more than just estate planning. An attorney that also does probates, adoptions, guardianships, etc. is actually a good sign because that attorney has a better idea of what happens when things go wrong. Some firms have attorneys that do one area, but they group to share their clients as they need each of these services. It's not uncommon, and it's not a bad thing.

Basic list of potential documents you may need (again, varying by state):

Will: When you die, who gets your assets after your debts are paid? If you don't decide this, the state has default "intestate" rules that may fuck over your partner, kids, etc. This is the document where you ask your attorney if there's ways to ensure that your partner and all dependents will receive what you want them to even if your legal relationships are invalidated. (Sometimes, a will can direct all assets to a first choice, then to a second choice, and if it turns out someone is still underage, hold the assets in a trust. They can be conditional sometimes!)

Personal property designation (sometimes can be separate from the will): When you die, do you have specific items of personal property (NOT MONEY OR LAND) that you want to go to specific people? For example, maybe you want to leave everything of value to your partner, but you have a Babe Ruth baseball for a cousin. Maybe you want to avoid your family fighting over who gets what pieces in your Beanie Baby collection. You'll be dead; let everyone be angry at you instead of each other.

Guardianship nomination (may be part of another document): Who would you nominate as guardian of your children and wards if you (and your spouse) die or are incapacitated? THIS IS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT IF YOU ARE NOT IN A CISHET MARRIAGE. BOTH OF THOSE THINGS: CISHET AND MARRIAGE.

Financial Power of Attorney: Who do you want to handle all of your assets if you are incapacitated? Literally everything. This person could fleece you, so it has to be someone you trust not to do that. Often times, you can also name a backup in case your chosen person is incapacitated, and it's suggested in case you and your partner get into an accident. (NOTE: Sometimes, if you are a single person with a fair amount of assets, it can be a good idea to name your attorney. This might be a preferred option if your next of kin cannot be trusted. It costs money, but if you are at all worried about what your family might do, at least have that discussion with your attorney so you can learn your options.)

Healthcare Power of Attorney: Who do you want to make all medical decisions if you are incapacitated? Who do you trust to make decisions you would have wanted? Who do you think could handle this without getting their own emotions in the way? Who would actually be available where you live to make those decisions? You can also name a backup for this as well.

HIPAA authorization: Who is allowed to access your medical records if you are incapacitated? This should at least match your healthcare POA, and you may want to allow biological relatives to do this too if you have any genetic predispositions.

Health Care Directive/"Living Will": Do you want to be resuscitated if your heart stops? You can decide either way, but this means your next of kin doesn't have to make a snap decision on your behalf while you are actively dying.

Trust: The utility and purpose of a trust HEAVILY VARIES BY STATE AND YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. For example, they are super popular in California, but they're usually excessive in Washington. There's also different kinds of trusts. Ask your attorney what the benefits would be over a traditional will. Maybe it's worth it, maybe it's not.

This is a scary time. Making a plan means you're ready if something goes wrong. Breathe, talk with your loved ones, and make a plan.

Before January 2025:

If you are a USAmerican in a relationship that might be affected by legislation that dissolves same-sex marriages, who may no longer be recognized as next-of-kin, especially if you have children, get your rights in writing!

Your marriage certificate may not be enough to prove you have rights to make medical decisions for non-biological children or for a same-sex spouse or partner.

Go to a lawyer, get it spelled out as clearly as possible that you have a voice in emergency medical and legal situations.

[monratarot]

Hello Moni re sending my ask

Myself Asteria

Here's my big 3 : Libra sun, Scorpio moon and Sagittarius Rising

Wanted to know how's my career going to look like in the next 6 months.

* very tensed tbh not sure wtf should I do. I wanna do psych but it seems like doing law sounds better and I'm not sure whether I can do it or not *

Thank you so much and hope that you're having a fabulous day 😊

Hello, dear @mysteriouslyweepingasteria! Thank you for your request and being a part of my community. I hope that my reading will help you and bring clearance to your situation. 

Feedback is very much appreciated and if you consider tipping me, you can do so on my ☕️ko-fi

Count of questions/requests and answers 05/15.

Without wasting any time, let's get into your reading!˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Tarot free readings rule⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Tarot payed readings rules 𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒₊˚*ੈ🎀⸝⸝🍓✩‧₊˚

I can see that you are feeling trapped and under pressure right now. This is making you feel exhausted emotionally and financially. You are kinda carrying too much on your shoulders right now(so be careful with the multitasking). The only way you can become successful is with careful management of time and resources. Now is the moment to say no to any future requests and decide which projects or jobs you can focus on and everything you think is not for you of course you can hand it to someone else. You won't know which path to go on until you don't do something and what you need to do right now is to focus on yourself a little bit and clear your mind. Try to relax a little bit before making a decision. If you are looking to find a stable job question yourself what thoughts/chores you are doing right now that stop you from attracting work because you are too emotionally overburdened. You won't be able to think clearly a decide if you don't clear your mind. You can bring heaven down on earth. Go with the flow but don't rush in making a decision. There are signs that you will begin a new project, and a lot of good things are ahead for you. Dreams and visions are the key words so I think this can help you a little bit when it comes to the job you will choose. The good news is that you have signs of a new job and career and you will do a good job. You will deal with productivity, continued progress, teamwork, and cooperation. You will be ready to let your talents shine and can even launch a business. A creative project will cause you to stand head and shoulders above both friends and your enemies. You can even deal with some jealousy but it is fine, it won't harm your progress. The only thing you need to understand when choosing your job is that right now or until the end of the year you won't have success on your own, you need to find the right team to get the job done. So my dear my advice is to try to calm down a little bit, keep your mind calm and after that you will be able to do everything you want. You have the power inside you, you just need to learn how to make it shine. Also, this doesn't mean that you can't choose both options later on, now is just the time when you focus on one, and for doing that you need to start believing in yourself. It's not going to be easy, but you can do it as long as you let yourself shine. Angel message: Angel wisdom suggests that you visualize yourself in the violet flame and invoke Archangel Zadkiel to help you. Place your troubles and difficult relationships within the flame so that all negativity is transmuted. You are blessed to have drawn this energy for it indicates that you are ready to walk the path of light.

Affirmation: I am cleansed within the violet flame. I wish you only the best!🍀

Moni🧚‍♀️

[midasinc]

do u have any eposette hcs?

modern era eposette hcs:

- the timeline of their relationship is agonizing for ep. she likes cosette pre-marius, then during the marius timeline she gets super jealous and she figures that it's because she likes marius. that isn't really the case and she comes to realize this and after cosette breaks up with marius because she's realizes she's a lesbian, eponine is so psyched because this is her opening! it's her! it's always been h-

-cosette dates a lot of other girls because figuring out that eponine likes her. she doesn't say anything about it but after a few weeks, she can picture herself dating eponine. they have good chemistry and eponine is a lot shorter than her and is funnier than she gives herself credit for and cosette decides to ask her out (eponine almost faints because it comes out of nowhere)

-they're a very active couple. they like going out to do stuff, neither of them can sit still and quiet during movies. they like walks in the park and bike rides through the city or in the countryside. cosette is a professional ballerina but she loves all forms of dance and takes eponine out to dance all the time. sometimes it's in a club, but they literally go to salsa classes together because it makes them both giggle and it's really fucking fun once they get a rhythm together

-cosette intakes coffee like a garbage disposal. she drinks so much fucking coffee. eponine sometimes wonder what her budget for it is, but she doesn't mind because cosette's clothes always smell like coffee and she'll make a mug for eponine every morning without being asked first

-they're both bracelet people. eponine wears so many bracelets. she loves the beaded kind and the braided kind and little rubber band bracelets you get from your dentist. she's made so many bracelets for cosette oh my god. eponine has spent so many hours braiding her pretty bracelets and finding the right beads to spell out "cosette". cosette loves ALL of them. gifts mean a lot to her because sometimes she still isnt sure if she deserves these presents and she is so incredibly thankful for them. when she isn't dancing at work, cosette wears just as many bracelets as eponine

-eponine also goes to all of cosette's performances. this is weird at first because valjean does the same thing and the tickets cosette gets for them are next to each other for obvious reasons. it's a weird dynamic at first. eponine is kind of like "uhhhhhhhhhhhh" because she doesn't know if he knows when they first start dating. and trust me he does. cosette tells valjean everything and she told him about eponine the second they started going out. after the performance, valjean tells cosette that eponine seems like a very nice young woman

-eponine is incredibly anxious when it comes to money. it really worries her. she dropped out of college because she couldn't afford it anymore without going into debt and the idea of winding up like her father horrified her, so she works two jobs and is also a dog-walker. even when she's in a green zone with her income, she has trouble feeling like she can buy the stuff she wants. a lot of her clothes are thrifted and hand-me-downs from friends and even after she moves in with cosette and they have breathing room money-wise, eponine is still incredibly anxious

-cosette doesn't want her to feel worried about their money but has trouble convincing her that it's okay. she talks to valjean for advice and decides to invest in a financial advisor for the both of them. having someone professional to talk to about their finances really helps settle eponine- she's learning to be conscious of their money but not paranoid

-cosette is really big on bday celebrations because valjean celebrated her own birthday like it was a national holiday, and eponine gets the same treatment. every year, cosette will be like "GUESS WHOSE BIRTHDAY IT ALMOST IS!!!!!" the entire week leading up to eponine's birthday. she always home-bakes a cake as well and eponine begs her not to buy a lot of gifts, so cosette compromises by taking her out to do something really really really nice and then getting her one small gift that is always very personal and meaningful to eponine

-eponine is a night owl and cosette is an early bird. cosette wakes up super early for work every day and presses a kiss to eponine's forehead and eponine smiles when she finally goes to bed and cosette is sprawled across the bed absolutely conked out

-eponine is big shirt small pants combo and cosette is tiny shirt big pants combo

-cosette is really good at braiding hair. whenever eponine walks into a meeting with very pretty very intricate hairstyles, everyone knows she didn't do it herself

-ballet has given cosette very very strong thighs... whenever she wears shorts... oh my god... eponine is put out of commission. it's too much for her

-they dress up like catra and adora from she-ra every year for halloween

[rosesforwildwitches]

Also if you come from a toxic or abusive family as a kid, that makes you more likely to get into a cult as long as optically it's significantly different from your upbringing, partially because there's a sense of familiarity within those group dynamics and control tactics, but not so much of a direct resemblance to your old abuser's ways that it triggers the same alarm bells. It's just different enough to not trigger bad past memories, but the toxic dynamics are something that your brain finds familiarity with. The other part of it is that cults often promise financial or housing support in exchange for loyalty, and for those escaping previous familial or relationship abuse this could be essential, making their choices into staying with the cult, going back to their abuser, or being homeless. Due to these two factors, cults will often try to seek out people escaping abusive families, offering healing or counseling and often being more openly sympathetic than many other institutions.

This is also a huge part of how cults operated in the 70s, especially with young women. Women would save up what money they could to get away from their abusive fundamentalist patriarchal families and get into a city on their own, often finding that they had little money left after escaping and that they couldn't establish their own financial independence (because in the 70s there were basically zero laws against gender discrimination and sexual harassment at work and most states didn't allow unmarried women to get their own credit cards). Then some free love "progressive" people would show up offering financial help and a peaceful commune life with shared food, openly flouting the rules around behavior and sexuality pushed on them by their previous fundamentalist upbringing. From there young women would often start living with the cult, and would later experience all of the brainwashing and control tactics and abuse that comes with it, but by that point their choices would be to either stay or try to go back to the families they had escaped and see if they could be taken back.

I could say "watch out for cult members if you have a history of familial abuse", but the fact is that in order for that advice to actually be any kind of useful, as a society we need cheaper and better mental health care from actual reputable sources (that won't incarcerate people in psych wards) ans we need better financial support systems for the population in general do that one's housing and food aren't contingent on staying within dysfunctional groups.

My hypothesis is that in like 10 years gen z is gonna have a big cult boom the way the boomers did in the 70s

[mxenigmatic]

2020’s Self Care Books for Trying Times

With Covid-19 a global pandemic that is still lingering in the air, and keeping our connections at a social distance, added how here at NYPL our librarians miss the frequent interactions with our patrons, I was contemplating on ways to keep our reading connected, our souls warm, and our health having its self care. Before google, I’d rely on the plethora of information our branches hold on any challenge in life I’d be facing. Now with a myriad of problems we can tackle, and resources we can all use to improve our lives, I wanted to tackle grounding and elevating ourselves to cope with our surroundings, than advice I can provide on financial, relationship, life goals, etc.

In this blog “2020’s Self Care Books 4 Trying Times” I’ve comprised my 20 favorite titles for the year 2020 on wellness, people’s journeys, and how health experts can help guide us to a calm and vibrant place for our wellbeing. From parenting tips, to self acceptance, coping with a mental health disorder, or even self care rituals, the need for healthy habits is a topic we all can relate and rely on to keep us striving through this winter, and being united through our current unstable climate. We should never be ashamed of our experiences, asking for help, and addressing challenges in our lives to be at peace with our pasts, content with our present, and hopeful about our futures.

What is Self-care, according to very well mind, describes a conscious act one takes in order to promote their own physical, mental, and emotional health. There are many forms self-care may take. It could be ensuring you get enough sleep every night or stepping outside for a few minutes for some fresh air.

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness refers to being in the moment. This means feeling what our bodies feel, letting ourselves think without judging our thoughts, and being aware of our environment. It is about paying attention on purpose to both what is happening inside and outside of you.

ADULT

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey

Topics: Professional Development, Success, Psych Evaluation

One of the most inspiring and impactful books ever written, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has captivated readers for nearly three decades. It has transformed the lives of presidents and CEOs, educators and parents—millions of people of all ages and occupations. Now, this 30th anniversary edition of the timeless classic commemorates the wisdom of the 7 habits with modern additions from Sean Covey. The 7 habits have become famous and are integrated into everyday thinking by millions and millions of people. Why? Because they work!With Sean Covey's added takeaways on how the habits can be used in our modern age, the wisdom of the 7 habits will be refreshed for a new generation of leaders.

Stay Positive: Encouraging Quotes and Messages to Fuel Your Life With Positive Energy by Jon Gordon

Topics: Self Help, Affirmations, Optimism

Stay Positive is more than a phrase. It's an approach to life that says when you get knocked down, you'll get back up and find a way forward one faithful step and optimistic day at a time. Start your day with a message from the book, or pick it up anytime you need a mental boost. You can start from the beginning, or open the book to any page and find a message that speaks to you. The book is a go-to resource for anyone wanting to inject a healthy dose of positivity into their life

$9 Therapy: Semi-Capitalist Solutions to Your Emotional Problems by Megan Reid and Nick Greene

Topics: Life Skills/Hacks, Self Care Rituals, Budgeting

A collection of the authors' favorite life hacks and mini-upgrades, such as craft cocktails on the cheap or tips for a perfectly planned staycation. Sometimes it takes as little as nine dollars to turn your life around. How to find simple pleasures in a pricey, wellness-obsessed world.

You Were Born For This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance by Chani Nicholas

Topics: Astrology, Self Acceptance

A revolutionary empowerment book that uses astrology as a tool for self-discovery, success, and self-care from the beloved astrologer Chani Nicholas, a media darling with a loyal following of one million monthly readers.

TEEN

Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents by Matthew Brensilver

Topics: Mindfulness, Educational Guides, Learning Disabilities, Reflections

Effectively sharing mindfulness with teenagers depends on distinct skill sets . . . done well, it is incredibly joyous." Matthew Brensilver, JoAnna Hardy and Oren Jay Sofer provide a powerful guide to help teachers master the essential competencies needed to successfully share mindfulness practices with teens and adolescents. Incorporating anecdotes from actual teaching, they blend the latest scientific research with innovative, original techniques for making the practices accessible and interesting to this age group. This text is an indispensable handbook for mindfulness instruction in its own right, and a robust companion volume for teachers using The Mindful Schools Curriculum for Adolescents

The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color by Virgie Tovar

Topics: Self Esteem, Plus Size Positivity, Hygiene

Every day we see body ideals depicted in movies, magazines, and social media. And, all too often, these outdated standards make us feel like we need to change how we look and who we are. The truth is that many teens feel self-conscious about their bodies and being a teen girl of color is hard in unique ways. So, how can you start feeling good about yourself when you're surrounded by these unrealistic, and problematic images of what bodies are "supposed" to look like? This book is an unapologetic guide to help you embrace radical body positivity. You'll identify and challenge mainstream beliefs about beauty and bodies; celebrate what makes you unique and powerful; and build real, lasting body empowerment. You'll also learn how to spot diet culture and smash your noisy inner critic so you can start loving your body. It's time to create your own definition of beautiful and recognize that your body is amazing. It's time for a self-love revolution!

Out!: How To Be Your Authentic Self by Miles McKenna

Topics: Coming Out, Self Acceptance, Family Dynamics

Activist Miles McKenna came out on his YouTube channel in 2017, documenting his transition to help other teens navigate their identities and take charge of their own coming out stories. From that wisdom comes Out!, the ultimate YA guide to the queer lifestyle. Find validation, inspiration, and support for your questions big and small--whether you're exploring your identity or seeking to understand the experience of an awesome queer person in your life."

Dancing at the Pity Party: A Dead Mom Graphic Memoir by Tyler Feder

Topics: Grief Counseling, Coping with terminal illness, Bereavement. Family Estrangement

Tyler Feder shares her story of her mother's first oncology appointment to facing reality as a motherless daughter in this frank and refreshingly funny graphic memoir.

Superpowered: Transform Anxiety Into Courage, Confidence, and Resilience by Renee Jain and Dr. Shefali Tsabary

Topics: Health, Fitness, Selt Esteem.

The perfect tool for children facing new social and emotional challenges in an increasingly disconnected world! This how-to book from two psychology experts—packed with fun graphics and quizzes—will help kids transform stress, worry, and anxiety

Teen Guide to Mental Health by Don Nardo

Topics: Teens, Mental Health, Body Image, Puberty

Todays teens face and are expected to deal with a wide array of personal, social, and other issues involving home-life, school, dating, body image, sexual orientation, major life transitions, and in some cases physical and mental problems, including eating disorders and depression. This volume examines how many teens have learned to cope with and survive these often stressful trials and tribulations of modern youth.

KIDS

Turtle Boy by Evan Wolkenstein

Topics: Social Life, Friends, Relationships, School Stress

Seventh grade is not going well for Will Levine. Kids at school bully him because of his funny-looking chin. His science teacher finds out about the turtles he spent his summer collecting from the marsh behind school an orders him to release them back into the wild. And for his Bar Mitzvah community service project, he has to go to the hospital to visit RJ, an older boy struggling with an incurable disease. Unfortunately, Will hates hospitals. At first, the boys don't get along, but then RJ shares his bucket list with Will. Among the things he wants to do: ride a roller coaster, go to a concert and a school dance, swim in the ocean. To Will, happiness is hanging out in his room, alone, preferably with his turtles. But as RJ's disease worsens, Will realizes he needs to tackle the bucket list on his new friend's behalf before it's too late. It seems like an impossible mission, way outside Will's comfort zone. But as he completes each task with RJ's guidance, Will learns that life is too short to live in a shell.

How To Make A Better World: For Every Kid Who Wants To Make A Difference by Keilly Swift

Topics: Activism, Human Rights, Organizing

If you are a kid with big dreams and a passion for what is right, you're a world-changer in the making. There's a lot that can be changed by just one person, if you know what to do. Start by making yourself into the awesome person you want to be by learning all about self-care and kindness. Using those skills, work your way up to creating activist campaigns to tackle climate change or social injustice. This fun and inspiring guide to making the world a better place and becoming a good citizen is packed with ideas and tips for kids who want to know how to make a difference. From ideas as small as creating a neighborhood lending library to important ideas such as public speaking and how to talk about politics, How to Make a Better World is a practical guide to activism for awesome kids.

All About Anxiety by Carrie Lewis

Anxiety. It's an emotion that rears its head almost every day, from the normal worries and concerns that most of us experience, to outright fear when something scary happens, to the anxiety disorders, that many kids live with daily. But what causes anxiety? And what can we do about it? All About Anxiety tackles these questions from every possible angle. Readers will learn what's going on in their brain and central nervous system when they feel anxious. They'll learn about the evolutionary reasons for fear and anxiety and that anxiety isn't always a bad thing--except for when it is! Most importantly, kids will discover new strategies to manage their anxiety so they can live and thrive with anxiety

Dictionary for a better world: poems, quotes, and anecdotes from A to Z by Irene Latham

Topics: Inspiration, Self Help, Advice

Organized as a dictionary, entries in this book for middle-grade readers present words related to creating a better, more inclusive world. Each word is explored via a poem, a quote from an inspiring person, and a short personal anecdote from one of the co-authors, a prompt for how to translate the word into action, and an illustration".

I feel... meh by DJ Corchin

(E-book)Topics: Health, Fitness, Management

This series helps kids recognize, express, and deal with the roller coaster of emotions they feel every day. It has been celebrated by therapists, psychologists, teachers, and parents as wonderful tools to help children develop self-awareness for their feelings and those of their friends. Sometimes I feel meh and I don't want to play. I don't want to read and I have nothing to say. Sometimes you just feel...meh. You don't really feel like doing anything or talking to anyone. You're not even sure how you're feeling inside. Is that bad? With fun, witty illustrations and simple, straightforward text, I Feel...Meh tackles apathy—recognizing it as a valid emotion, while also offering practical steps to get you out of your emotional slump. It's the perfect way for kids—and adults—who are feeling gray to find some joy again!

Violet Shrink by Christine Baldacchino

Topics: Phobias, Relationships, Social Skills

Violet Shrink doesn't like parties. Or bashes, or gatherings. Lots of people and lots of noise make Violet's tummy ache and her hands sweat. She would much rather spend time on her own, watching the birds in her backyard, reading comics, or listening to music through her purple headphones. The problem is that the whole Shrink family loves parties with loud music and games and dancing. At cousin Char's birthday party, Violet hides under a table and imagines she is a shark gliding effortlessly through the water, looking for food. And at Auntie Marlene and Uncle Leli's anniversary bash, Violet sits alone at the top of the stairs, imagining she is a slithering snake way up in the branches. When Violet learns that the Shrink family reunion is fast approaching, she musters up the courage to have a talk with her dad. In this thoughtful story about understanding and acceptance, Violet's natural introversion and feelings of social anxiety are normalized when she and her father reach a solution together. Christine Baldacchino's warm text demonstrates the role imagination often plays for children dealing with anxiety, and the power of a child expressing their feelings to a parent who is there to listen. Carmen Mok's charming illustrations perfectly capture Violet's emotions and the vibrancy of her imagination. A valuable contribution to books addressing mental health."-- Provided by publisher.

Check out this link to a presentation by NYPL’s Children’s Librarians, Sarah West and Justine Toussaint on Mindfulness/Social-Emotional Self-Esteem Picture Book Spotlight. Featuring popular book titles in our database of the past few years promoting kids well beings!

Pre-2020 Books

Aphorism by Franz Kafka

Topics: Life Quotes, Recovery, Future Planning

For the first time, a single volume that collects all of the aphorisms penned by this universally acclaimed twentieth-century literary figure. Kafka twice wrote aphorisms in his lifetime. The first effort was a series of 109, known as the Zurau Aphorisms, which were written between September 1917 and April 1918, and originally published posthumously by his friend, Max Brod, in 1931. These aphorisms reflect on metaphysical and theological issues--as well as the occasional dog. The second sequence of aphorisms, numbering 41, appears in Kafka's 1920 diary dating from January 6 to February 29. It is in these aphorisms, whose subject is "He," where Kafka distills the unexpected nature of experience as one shaped by exigency and possibility."

This Book Loves You by PewDiePie

Topics: Life Skills, Inspiration, Food 4 Thought

A popular blogger shares humorous pieces of advice and positivity, including "Never forget you are beautiful compared to a fish" and "Every day is a new fresh start to stay in bed."

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life by Mark Manson

Topic: Self Help, Happiness, Motivation

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger shows us that the key to being happier is to stop trying to be 'positive' all the time and instead become better at handling adversity. For decades we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. But those days are over. 'Fuck positivity, ' Mark Manson says. 'Let's be honest; sometimes things are fucked up and we have to live with it.' For the past few years, Manson--via his wildly popular blog--has been working on correcting our delusional expectations for ourselves and for the world. He now brings his hard-fought wisdom to this groundbreaking book. Manson makes the argument--backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes--that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to better stomach lemons. Human beings are flawed and limited--as he writes, 'Not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.' Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. This, he says, is the real source of empowerment. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties--once we stop running from and avoiding, and start confronting painful truths--we can begin to find the courage and confidence we desperately seek. 'In life, we have a limited amount of fucks to give. So you must choose your fucks wisely.' Manson brings a much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor. This manifesto is a refreshing slap in the face for all of us so we can start to lead more contented, grounded lives."

Zen Pencils: Cartoon Quotes From Inspirational Folks by Gavin Aung Than

Topics: Writing Development, Expression, Quotes

Gavin Aung Than, an Australian graphic designer turned cartoonist, started the weekly Zen Pencils blog in February 2012. He describes his motivation for launching Zen Pencils: I was working in the boring corporate graphic design industry for eight years before finally quitting at the end of 2011 to pursue my passion for illustration and cartooning. At my old job, when my boss wasn't looking, I would waste time reading Wikipedia pages, main biographies about people whose lives were a lot more interesting than mine. Their stories and quotes eventually inspired me to leave my job to focus on what I really wanted to do. The idea of taking these inspiring quotes, combining them with my love of drawing, and sharing them with others led to the creation of Zen Pencils.

By: @Mx.Enigma

She/They/Queen

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Tiger King 

“I think it would be fair to say that Carole is the Mother Teresa of cats” now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear

“I’d never been a person who had friends” statements like this always perplex me because surely there had to be ONE other person in however long you quantify childhood that you identified with. Like not one whole ass person? You’re not the only person who loves cats Carole

The juxtaposition between Carole Baskin’s “Animal Print for Animal Rights” and Joe Exotic’s “Tiger King underwear is our bestseller” is poetic cinema

Okay this isn’t a reflection of my opinions on this man but I Saw a Tiger is a good country ballad there I said it 

“When I first met Joe, I was like a month out of high school” well that’s not good

[Joe Exotic voice] Some people have tigers to cope

Doc Antle has only been on screen for 30 seconds and already he has made himself memorable by directing the film crew

Is Bhagavan Antle Indian in some way or did he just have a really intense Eat Pray Love journey with his guru

Also is he really a doctor orrrrrrrrr

“I am out there in the forefront so known of being this guy that is in love with big cats and has them love him back” please don’t tell me this guy does anything weird to his animals

“People only care about saving what affects them” 

“You can’t put a price on holding a baby tiger” but you did and apparently it’s $625 

The fact that multiple tigers have had albinism is probably a sign of major inbreeding practices at these zoos

You know, even if I ate meat*, there is no way I would be able to handle any kind of early prep stage of it bc seeing these cow carcasses is A Lot

*If u r reading this I don’t care if u eat meat leave me alone

“Animals just wasn’t enough, okay? So then I started adding magic” well that took an unexpected turn

I don’t know if it’s for real fair to criticize every person who has brought a big cat out in a public venue/talk show because I know at least like Dave Sal/moni is always going “THESE ANIMALS MAKE TERRIBLE PETS” 

As a sidenote from what I understand this Saff person keeps being deadnamed/misgendered throughout this documentary and I do not appreciate it 

“I grew up a professional cowboy in a family of professional cowboys” every sentence on this show is a journey

WHO is letting their ONE-YEAR-OLD lay on top of a tiger cub I know you’re at a zoo but BRUH

“It’s going to be a small Waco” to say this ON THE NEWS

This 2 minute stretch of episode is all the PSA anyone ever needs to never own a gun

Well I think we can all agree that PETA is a fucking mess

God this is like battle of the people who are terrible at doing anything good for animals

“What do you carry that gun for?” “People” AHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!!!!?!?

“I sleep with an AK-47 under my mattress, loaded, ready to roll” WILL SOMEONE HELP THE U.S. OF A

I was warned about this show and yet I was still not prepared for the level of UNHINGED it would be 

How in the FUCK does a place like this not have an on-site medic

“Why don’t you come back on another day” he said, after telling the public an employee had his arm taken off 

“I am never gonna financially recover from this” SURE JOE THIS IS ABOUT YOU

To go back to work a WEEK after getting your arm amputated... BRUH

“Any law that you think’s unfair or unjustice, it is your obligation, it is your responsibility to stand up against that bullshit law” well Thomas Jefferson was a slaveowner so clearly the injustice thing was relative for him

Traditionally don’t drug addictions fuel people choosing extreme paths with their life rather than the other way around? 

JKHGKJHGKJH this whole exchange:

Interviewer: What kind of doctor is he?

Maria: Mystical science.

Interviewer: Mystical science?

Maria, nodding: Yeah.

“How many wives does Doc Antle have?” I didn’t expect this but somehow it tracks

I’m gonna bet none of these people with subcontinental names have a single bit of South Asian heritage like okay “Moksha” and “Rajnee” did Bhagavan name you

On a more serious note: It’s really fucked up that these men keep meeting literal teenagers, making them their employees, and then also get into relationships with them. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough THIS IS NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY

It’s pretty weird that Doc Antle keeps emphasizing so frequently that one of his partners is Italian 

“I’m gonna go be a yoga animal trainer” ah, white people bullshit

“Goodbye. Don’t fall in love with your boss.” Good advice, Dad

I was not expecting all this subcontinental imagery to get under my skin this badly but what’s your problem dude can’t u be normal for like a second 

“You’re this garbage person, but if you listen to me, I’ll make you great” again this tracks but gross

Again, on a more serious note: if a partner ever talks to you this way please call a domestic abuse hotline 

Not that India is at all in a good place right now but I personally ban Doc Antle from ever entering India. Banned. Forever. I will not be accepting constructive criticism at this time

“I didn’t really know any better” is a really good way of summarizing what all of these younger partners have been through

Wow Carole is really explaining this abuse issue succinctly 

Antle’s indignation at being implied to be a cult leader despite the fact he is most definitely a cult leader

Joe’s story in his documentary is constantly “is this going to be a humanizing moment PSYCH it’s still terrible”

HOW IS THIS LEGAL PAY YOUR WORKERS A LIVING WAGE

Why is this husband-killing thing JUST A FOOTNOTE AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE OH MY GOD

We have deviated so far from the tiger thing oh my god

Why is the only man in this documentary who is faithful to his spouse the man that smuggled drugs inside of snakes

Every time I learn a new thing about a person in this documentary I have to reorient myself

This whole episode has been about this murder and I’m concerned that its title, “The Secret,” hasn’t even been revealed yet

GOD I take back what I said about I Saw Tiger, the concept of this song/music video for Here Kitty Kitty is so disturbing that this man deserves no credit whatsoever as a musician 

CAROLE WHY ARE YOU GIGGLING ABOUT THE MEAT GRINDER IT’S NOT FUNNY

Well I don’t have much to say about this episode other than yikes

I guess if you’re really out to spite someone stealing their brand and posting exactly the opposite of everything they stand for is an effective if weird and petty way to do it

Do you think the whole throne footage moment was a “Frankenstein realizing what he has wrought” kind of thing for Kirkham

This is really like watching a sports game of two teams you can’t stand except the sport is murder and other miscellaneous crime

If we’re all being real with ourselves the documentary filmmakers themselves MUST have had some issues going on to be able to walk into this situation and not do anything about it

This series really seems to present a compelling case for why every major figure in this documentary has potentially committed at least one terrible crime

Ah there’s the judgment from the woman in Florida I guess it’s two crimes with one stone

God these poor animals they do not deserve anything happening to them

While obviously people are enticed by the prospect of someone they’re into having an animal JUST GET AN ALREADY DOMESTICATED ANIMAL LIKE DOMESTICATED CATS AND DOGS EXIST OH MY GOD DO NOT USE EXOTIC PETS AS DATE BAIT

 It has been so long since we heard about Travis ngl I already forgot about him 

Why is every single person in this show SO OFF THE WALLS I mean I know why but also WHY

This documentary is also a treatise in the flaws of the U.S. prison system and how it sets up people up to fail or re-offend upon release

Take a shot every time a middle-aged man in this show mentions that he casually bought himself a big cat as a teen

“Joe was the entertainment director.... by title” I don’t think this was meant to be a burn but what a burn

I am almost certain I WATCHED that Last Week Tonight episode during that election and if u told me that 4-5 years later I would be rewatching that clip in a documentary about this man’s journey to being convicted for murder then I cannot say I wouldn’t be surprised but I would probably believe it 

Also I have to wonder what John Oliver thinks about being part of this 

[“Beyonce?” voice] Shaun Majumder?

Sidenote: Until this exact moment I thought of Shaun Majumder as Ben Mulroney even though Brian Mulroney is white as hell I guess I have faceblindness but only for Canadian talkshow personalities

I have been aware of this before now but the fact you can buy a GUN at a Walmart what in the FUCK is U.S.A. doing

Man does this campaign manager really want to take ownership of anything Joe Exotic has ever done

Ngl I was wondering why someone who had at one point clearly had a lot of money seemed to have such poor dental care access but meth certainly does explain it

I mean people can be attracted to both men and women (hello) but since Joe was fuelling their drug addictions since they were teenagers attraction is at best a null factor and at worst an added layer of terrible to this whole mess

It’s hard to even respond to this in a meaningful way because this is so fucked up. Don’t own guns.

“That was a big fucking mistake,” he said, right after someone explained that he was driving large groups of people in an enclosed space in a busy city with wild animals that could maim or kill them

Padlock penls piercing really does not seem like a first date bombshell

“We went to dinner and he never went home” well if that doesn’t set you with a sense of foreboding

TWO MONTHS AFTER WHAT IN THE HELL OH MY GOD also I hope Dillon is okay

“It wasn’t about the animals anymore” you THINK

“It was sort of funny when they started but it’s gotten really dark” how meta

Of all the reasons Joe could’ve abandoned his zoo, I really didn’t think embezzlement would be what pushed him

“He won’t tell anyone where he’s at, not even me,” said Dial, with no acknowledgement of the fact that Joe is also theoretically still married and would maybe tell his husband???

Oh Dillon spotted??? Yikes get out dude

Take a shot every time a white person who really doesn’t understand where the word “karma” comes from starts talking about karma as if it is the Law of Revenge

The fact this man brings a film crew out with him while he’s on the run evading a federal investigation..... incomprehensible

“Joe just wanted to put it in somebody’s name and continue to be the tiger queen, I mean king,” really REALLY of all the reasons to object to Joe you’re going to choose homophobia wow

Is this about an attempt to have someone murdered or does something happen to Baskin it is very unclear

This documentary has an interesting format of switching focus from crime to crime to crime 

“I’ve never been as proud of being married to anyone as I am being married to you” It’s weird to compliment your husband by comparing him to all your other husbands

How is the lesson for Jeff Lowe in this “let’s build another zoo” surely at that point it’s better to just cut your losses

[Garretson voice]: You should pay me for being a bro, dude

“I’m a libertarian, so technically, fuck the Feds,” I’ve never heard an intonation that better suits a conservative millennial 

I mean I don’t think it was advisable but honestly why are people surprised Joe took the stand isn’t delusions of grandeur kind of his thing

Sometimes it’s just that they’ve added in other moments to break up the awful immoral crimes with just run of the mill douchebaggery like the nanny/gym thing huh

I guess the silver lining in this is that potentially these big cat zoos will shut down but like where do these animals who have been raised in captivity go??? I don’t trust anyone in this documentary to not exploit them in some way ugh 

“Not a single animal benefited from this war,” correct, Saff

“I was wrapped up in having a zoo,” not really an excuse but ok

[pindaleng]

Merry Pitchmas @c-k-mack​!!! Hope you’re having a happy holiday :)

Title: There’s something ‘bout when I see ya, think I need a drink

Pairing: Junksen

Chapters: 1/1

Wordcount: 2467

Summary: It's Emily's first holiday party with her new coworkers, and there's one in particular she wants to impress. Or at least not look like a fool in front of. Should be easy...right?

Emily paced nervously in front of the apartment door, rehearsing her greeting. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this nervous. Close to her chest, she held a homemade pie. Apple. The favorite of the host’s.

On top of the pie was a bag of cookies in case she was wrong about the pie. Just to cover all her bases. She was pretty sure no one could hate chocolate chip cookies.

Emily muttered to herself. “Hi, long time no see! No that’s dumb...Hey there homie, happy holidays! I can’t believe I just said that…”

It was her first company party after starting her new job, and she really wanted to make a good impression. She liked all her coworkers, and was pretty sure they all liked her, but that was all in the workplace. There was something different about being out-of-office cool.

Emily jumped as the door swung open, revealing Aubrey in a green holiday sweater, decorated with reindeer and snowflakes.

“I thought I heard someone out here. You want to come in?”

“Um yeah, I’d love to.”

So that could have gone better.

Continue reading on Ao3 or below :)

It was only a couple of days ago that Emily figured out her massive crush on Aubrey.

She was with her coworker Beca at lunch in their building cafeteria, and going on and on about how cool and great and smart Aubrey was. And how happy it made her every time Aubrey said her name, in person or over email. She was sure Beca stopped listening to her five sentences ago, as she probably heard Emily’s spiel a thousand times before. Yet, Emily still felt the need to express all the amazing things about Aubrey Posen. She got to listing all the pretty intricacies of Aubrey’s smile when the epiphany hit her like a ton of bricks.

Oh.

The sudden and unusual silence must have pulled Beca’s focus from her phone. “Dude you okay?”

“I have a crush on Aubrey!” Emily shout-whispered across the table. “Oh my god Beca what do I do?”

Beca shrugged. “Beats me, Em. I don’t know, just tell her?”

Emily glared daggers at her friend. “Easy for you to say. I know you and Chloe pined over each other for seven years and she was the one that ended up telling you.”

“Well, that seems a little dramatic.”

“We both know that it’s true.” They engaged in a brief staring contest before Emily broke and pouted. “Help meeeeee.”

Beca rolled her eyes and threw her hands up. “Fine dude, but you owe me lunch.”

“Thank you thank you thank you!”

----

Sharing a cubicle wall, Beca and Emily became close friends through the proximity of their desks. Emily liked asking a lot of questions when she first started, and Beca (to her chagrin) was the closest victim. Gradually, gruff Beca warmed up to her, and the two became close work buddies.

And although Emily liked Beca a lot, her favorite coworker would definitely be Aubrey Posen. Hands down, no contest. No offense to Beca.

(“None taken,” she said, when Emily inevitably shared her thoughts one day.)

There was no one that could match the quiet authority, intelligence, and kindness Aubrey held.

Aubrey had been at the company for a couple of years now, quickly rising through the ranks with her invaluable insight into various projects. She also became a great resource for Emily whenever Beca couldn’t figure out how to help.

Sometimes Emily would skip asking Beca altogether, making the excuse that Beca was busy, when she could clearly see Beca over their shared wall, playing games on her phone. She told herself that she learned better when Aubrey was giving her advice, probably because she hung onto every last syllable. Though some people in the office were intimidated by Aubrey, Emily didn’t get it.

She kept feeling herself drawn towards her, rather than away.

And so, Emily took every opportunity to get on any project with Aubrey. Even if it was just scanning reports or organizing files.

Sure working at a desk wasn’t exactly what Emily envisioned when she graduated college, but it wasn’t the worst thing either. She hadn’t really known what she wanted to do, besides hopefully something in psychology. Unfortunately, that vagueness and indecisiveness didn’t land a job in the field. Those in her major that did get a job right out of university knew exactly what they wanted to go in, and could flawlessly articulate their motivations.

But Emily wasn’t like that.

Psychology 1001 was her favorite course freshman year, so she stuck with it. She enjoyed most of her psych classes since, but none really convinced her to pursue a certain career. It was incredibly interesting, sure, but she didn’t know what she wanted to do with all the information.

Senior year, she applied to a bunch of different positions on her school’s job website, and eventually got an offer from a financial consulting company. It involved a mixed bag of work, none of which utilized her psych degree, but there were definitely worse places to be. It had good benefits, a nice desk space for her family of plants, and most importantly, fun coworkers.

Everyone’s genuine kindness came as a pleasant surprise. So even though it wasn’t her field of choice, Emily found herself enjoying her days, as the people she got to help were awesome.

And there was one person in particular she especially liked working with.

Whenever Aubrey sent out a mass email asking for volunteers on new projects, Emily would respond almost immediately. A message would appear on Emily’s computer asking her to stop by Aubrey’s office to talk over the project. Emily usually left the conversation thinking it all could have easily been communicated through email, but she wasn’t going to complain. Meeting with Aubrey always made her day, if not her entire week.

----

On Friday, Emily spent over an hour in Aubrey’s office, discussing all the issues in their current project. It was a frustrating one, with two more problems springing up whenever they solved one. Being near five p.m., they decided to press pause and look at it with fresh eyes next week.

Emily turned to leave before being called back by Aubrey.

“Hey, um. Are you still going to the office party?” She looked uncharacteristically nervous.

“Yeah! Your place right?” Emily replied cheerily. Her response seemed to relax Aubrey’s shoulders. “I’ll try not to trash it.”

Aubrey smiled warmly and Emily struggled to maintain her professional composure. “I’ll hold you to it. See you this weekend.”

----

Now Emily was at this party, hanging out with her coworkers. Again, she loved them all, but there was one in particular she was hoping to spend time with. To her disappointment, the host was in high demand, greeting people at the door and finishing up food preparations.

So besides their brief interaction when she got in, Emily wasn’t able to get a moment with Aubrey.

“What are you doing in the corner?”

Emily looked up to see Jessica and Ashley watching her curiously. She didn’t even notice they arrived at the party.

Jessica ended up answering Ashley’s question. “She’s sulking because she hasn’t gotten any time with her girlfriend yet.”

Emily spluttered. “Girlfriend? What? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend. Massive crush. Same thing.” Ashley dismissed.

“Are you going to do anything about it?” Jessica asked.

“About what?” Playing innocent wasn’t her strong suit, but that didn’t stop her from trying.

Ashley was blunt about it. “About asking Aubrey out.”

“Don’t deny you have a thing for her.”

Emily knew she wasn’t going to get out of this one. She sighed. “It’s just, I don’t want to mess up our work relationship, and I’m pretty sure she just sees us as coworkers.”

They both gave her a weird look. Jessica sipped at her drink like she had a secret.

Emily narrowed her eyes. “What?”

“Nothing,” they said in unison, walking away to rejoin the rest of the party.

Well that was weird, she thought as she made her way to the drink station. Emily was already one beer down, and ready for another one. Her eyes latched on the bottle of patron.

----

The party was going very smoothly, all low-key mingling and chatter in small groups. Multitudes of Christmas lights and festive sweaters added to the cheery atmosphere, and that shot of tequila helped Emily loosen up. But of course, with this group, the calm wasn’t going to last. It came as a surprise to no one that Chloe was the one to suggest a party game.

“Okay, I have the perfect idea,” she said once the entire group gathered on the floor around her. Chloe’s eyes glinted mischievously. “Truth or drink.”

“Game is simple. Basically truth or dare, so the person whose turn it is can ask anybody a question, and they have to answer truthfully or opt out by taking a shot. That person then gets to pick who they ask a question to, and so on.”

Stacie and Fat Amy were practically jumping out of their skins in enthusiasm. Beca had a look in her eyes akin to fear.

When Emily entered the apartment earlier that evening, never did she expect she’d be learning her coworkers’ dirtiest secrets. Thankfully, they seemed to think of her as the kid of the group, so the questions asked to her were tame in comparison.

Aubrey: “Where was your first kiss?” (Under the football bleachers.)

Lilly: “How many summoning spells have you done?” (None? Lilly seemed disappointed by the answer.)

Chloe: “What age did you stop believing in Santa?” (Emily threw back a shot for this one. Everyone laughed.)

A couple of rounds passed, and it was back to Chloe’s turn to ask.

“Okay Aubrey. Out of everyone in this room,” Chloe tapped her chin thoughtfully, “who would you want to bang?”

Aubrey froze and immediately knocked back her shot, which resulted in a chorus of ooo’s.

“Oh my god Aubrey who is it??”

“Is it Beca?”

“Ew Flo don’t suggest my girlfriend.”

Fat Amy piped in. “Okay then, it has to be Stacie.”

The ooo’s were even louder this time. Emily saw Stacie throw a suggestive wink to Aubrey across the circle, and a slight blush painted Aubrey’s cheeks.

Suddenly the room felt too stuffy.

Emily got up in an attempt to escape the situation, but ended up knocking into the coffee table next to her and tipping over a glass of wine. Her reflexes were enough to save any red liquid from getting on the carpet, but the same couldn’t be said about her white snowman sweater.

Sloppy drunk at her crush’s holiday party. Cool cool.

As if this night could get any worse.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help get you cleaned up.” Of course Aubrey was offering. Emily didn’t know whether to be excited or mortified at the prospect of being in close quarters with Aubrey.

As Aubrey grabbed paper towels nearby, Emily noticed Chloe whisper something in her ear, causing her to blush again. Emily frowned. It probably had something to do with Stacie.

Emily locked eyes with Beca, who gave her an encouraging two thumbs up. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Plans A and B that Beca concocted consisted of asking Aubrey out via taco sauce packets that say “Marry me?”, or serenading a lovey Christmas song with Aubrey’s name added in. Thank goodness Chloe was the one that asked Beca.

Aubrey made a pitstop in her bedroom to pick up an extra sweater and bath towel, and as she closed the bathroom door behind them, Emily’s heart raced. She’s literally just helping you remove a stain. Not sexy. Calm down. Emily internally yelled at herself.

Aubrey handed over the sweater and towel. “I’ll turn around so you can change.”

True to her word, she turned as Emily pulled off her ruined sweater. Emily toweled off any wine that seeped through fabric and onto her skin.

“Sorry I’m taking you away from spending the party with Stacie,” Emily muttered as she pulled the clean sweater on. She passed the now blotched towel back to Aubrey.

The older girl furrowed her eyebrows. “Why would I want to be spending it with Stacie?”

“Because, you know, you have a crush on her.”

“Did I say that?”

“Well no, but everyone seems to think so. From earlier.” Aubrey didn’t add anything so Emily continued. “And, I get it. She’s smart and beautiful, and flirty and cool. And probably really good in bed. Oh my god why did I say that—”

“Emily.” Aubrey’s firm voice brought her back from her spiral.

She took a breath. “Sorry.” Emily finally met Aubrey’s eyes.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

The hem of her sweater suddenly became super interesting. She heard Aubrey take a breath.

One moment, Emily was wondering if her clumsiness completely blew her chance with the prettiest woman in the world, and the next, she was feeling soft lips on hers. Just as quickly as it began though, it ended.

“Was that okay?” Aubrey asked, searching her eyes for any signs of discomfort.

Emily nodded furiously, then pressed her lips back onto Aubrey’s, sinking into the feeling. This kiss was more needy, as if making up for lost time. /Aubrey, Aubrey, Aubrey/ shouted her mind, body and soul. Hands gripped her waist, desperate for some sort of grounding.

Just as Emily pushed Aubrey up against the wall, sharp knocking pulled them out of their bubble.

“You guys done making out in there??”

Emily could feel Aubrey smile against her lips, then slowly pull apart, giving one last quick peck.

“Out in a sec, Chloe!”

“You better because I really need to pee!” Came the shout back through the door.

As the sound of footsteps receded, Emily found Aubrey’s eyes focused back on her.

“So…you kissed me.” Emily said slowly.

“Mmhmm.”

“Like on the mouth.”

“That’s generally how it works.”

The gears in Emily’s brain were working overdrive to process the past few minutes. She was sure she was dreaming, except it was better than every single dream she’s ever had. Every cell in her body was electrified. Emily hated running, but she felt like she could sprint a marathon .

“You like me.“

The corner of Aubrey’s mouth twitched up, and she laced her fingers with Emily’s. “Yeah, for a while now.”

“What??”

“I didn’t know if you felt the same way about me.” Aubrey bit her lip. “And I didn’t want to mess up what we had at work if I was totally misreading any signs.”

Emily leaned in and kissed Aubrey again, soft but firm, a nice medium between their first two kisses.

“Hope there isn’t any more confusion.”

Aubrey laughed, and Emily melted. She could get used to this.

[missmentelle]

Post #1000 (FAQ)

When I started this blog a few years ago, I couldn’t have imagined that it would grow as quickly as it did - and I definitely didn’t expect to make it to a thousand posts and beyond! I’m so grateful for each and every one of you who has sent in asks, reblogged and liked my posts, or sent me messages and replies. I really wouldn’t still be going if it wasn’t for you. 

So in honour of post #1000, I thought I would take some time to answer some of the most common questions that I get about me, my blog, and the issues that matter to me!

What should I call you? Miss Mentelle?

You can call me MissMentelle, Miss Mentelle, Miss, Mentelle, Ment, MM, or just M. Really, call me anything you like, none of those are my real name.

What kind of education do you have in mental health? Where did you go to school?

I have a Bachelor of Arts Honors degree in psychology, from a large public research university in Canada. I’ve completed a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology (concentration in forensic psychology) from a fancy private university in the USA. I’m also a certified rape crisis counselor in NY state. 

Have you ever actually worked in mental health in real life?

I sure have. I volunteered at a suicide hotline and a walk-in mental health distress centre as an undergraduate, and then after graduating I spent two years working with homeless and high-risk inner-city youth in a large Canadian city, doing counselling and psych testing. I then both worked and volunteered at a rape crisis centre in NYC. My hands-on experience working with mental health has mostly been made up of extremes - I have personally dealt with or been present for overdoses, gang fights, suicide attempts, sexual assaults, underage prostitution, psychotic breakdowns, and one instance of gun violence. 

Are you a psychologist? 

I am not. I am not qualified to give anyone a diagnosis. I am qualified to administer and score psych tests, but I am not qualified to interpret the results. Becoming a full-fledged licensed psychologist is a major goal of mine. 

Why did you start this blog? 

When I was working with homeless kids, we had a constant, ongoing problem where many of the kids had absorbed extremely unhealthy ideas about relationships that caused many of them to enter or stay in life-ruining relationships. No matter how hard we tried to counter these ideas and teach the kids about healthy relationships, it never seemed to make much difference. I was required to maintain separate “work” social media accounts that the kids could use to communicate with me, because that was the only means of communication that most of them had, and once I started seeing their social media feeds, it became pretty obvious that most of them were getting their information about love, sex and relationships from incredibly damaging posts being shared on social media. I couldn’t compete with that kind of influence as their mental health worker. So I decided to go online myself, and start creating healthier content to teach kids about these things, not as their worker, but as a blogger. It grew from there. 

Why do you always spell words like “centre” and “cheque” so weird?

I’m Canadian. You can pry my British spellings from my cold, dead hands. “Cheque” in particular seems to really bother people, but I promise you, that’s how non-Americans spell it. 

What’s your real name? 

Nice try, person-who-is-clearly-trying-to-steal-my-identity.

Do you do anything other than mental health?

Of course! I’m a writer in real life, and I’ve published stories in several mainstream anthologies. I also do stand-up comedy, write for a major comedy website, and run a true crime podcast. 

Can I send you an ask?

You definitely can!

What can I ask you about?

Pretty much anything that you feel comfortable asking me - I’ve answered questions about depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, personality disorders, romantic relationships, school problems, friendships, family relationships, parenting, pregnancy, sex, sexuality, and pretty much every mental-health-related topic in between. If I don’t know the answer, I will do some research and try to find the answer, or point you toward someone who does know. I also answer personal questions about myself, my schooling and my experiences, as well as general questions about how to break into this field as a career. 

Are you LGBTQ+?

Yes. I am a bi-romantic ace woman. I openly date both women and men, with no strong preference either way. I am not out to my parents, as most of my long-term partners happen to be male, and that’s not a conversation I want to have with them until it’s strictly necessary. I routinely blog about what it’s like to date while bi and ace and closeted, and I’m happy to answer questions on that topic. 

Are you mentally ill yourself?

Sometimes. I have OCD that is mostly mild/dormant, but it occasionally pops up again when I’m stressed, and it can lead to me spending hours in obsessive thought-spirals where I endlessly worry about things I have no control over, instead of doing anything productive. My OCD makes me believe that I will cause bad things to happen if I have “bad” or “wrong” thoughts that I don’t immediately balance out with “good” thoughts, and even though I know that’s completely irrational, my brain doesn’t agree. I also have ADHD, which I’ve learned to manage, and Tourette’s, which was extremely embarrassing for me as a child, but has gotten milder with age. 

What topics do you know the most about? 

My master’s degree is in forensic psychology, and that’s what I know the most about. My specific areas of expertise are conduct disorder, anti-social personality disorder, oppositional defiant disorder and other severe childhood behavioural problems, psychopaths, paraphilias, the relationship between psychology and crime, FASD, and the ongoing suicide crisis among First Nations youth. I almost never get asks on any of these topics.

Can I request a post on a certain topic?

You sure can! I would love to know what my followers are actually interested in learning more about. 

I sent you an ask weeks ago and you still haven’t answered! Do you hate me?

I don’t! I get a lot of asks, and unfortunately, I have a pretty full schedule that doesn’t leave me enough time to answer all of them in a timely fashion. I do answer all asks eventually, but it might take me a while to get to everyone, and I thank you all in advance for your patience. 

What can do to make sure you answer my ask?

I get to everyone eventually, but I do get to some quicker than others. There’s no guaranteed way to ensure a quick answer, but you’ll probably get a faster reply if you’re asking me a question that I don’t see very often. I’m also faster to reply to asks that give me a specific question (”Where can I find resources to learn meditation?”, “What’s the difference between a PhD and a LMHC?”) than I am at replying to more vague asks, or asks that don’t really ask a specific question (”I’m sad”).

What topics do you get the most asks about?

It varies over time, but in general, the most common asks I see are variants of: “I’m trying to set boundaries with my friend but they aren’t listening”, “I’m sad but I’m not sure what to do about it”, “I need to tell my therapist something but I don’t know how”, “I’m not sure if this relationship is healthy”, and “I went through a breakup and I’m having a hard time getting over it”. I’m happy to keep answering these kinds of questions, but I encourage you to read through my archives a little if that’s the sort of issue that you’re facing.

I’m just starting out as an advice or mental health blogger! Will you promote my page?

Probably not. I get several requests like this per day, and I don’t really have time to vet everyone who asks me this to see if I’m comfortable recommending you to my followers. Plus, most of the blogs that send me requests like this are run by people who don’t have any mental health credentials, and unfortunately, I’m just not comfortable endorsing mental health blogs that don’t have some sort of professional education or experience behind them. 

Can I send you a private message?

Of course! You should know, though, that I’m worse at responding to private messages than I am at responding to asks. Unfortunately, many of the people who have sent me private messages in the past have done so with the expectation that I will provide ongoing mental health support for them or that I will talk them through an ongoing crisis, and I unfortunately don’t have to time to do that for everyone who wants it. I’m a little bit wary of private messages for that reason, but I do still read and answer them. 

Why do you write such long posts and answers?

I was that kid in elementary school who asked if “3-5″ pages was a maximum, or if I could write more than that. I have never grown out of being that type of person.

What should I do with my life?

I don’t know. Sometimes I barely know what to do with my own life. I can point you toward resources to help you figure stuff out, but I can’t tell you what to do - you’re the expert on your own life, not me.

How do I get therapy?

This is actually a really hard question for me to answer. It depends on your individual situation, as well as your financial resources, geographic location and insurance situation. Most of the time, I just don’t have enough information to give you an answer. I can tell you about some online resources and telephone hotlines that you can try, but you’re probably going to have to do your own research about how to access long-term professional mental health services in your area. 

Should I break up with my partner? 

I can’t really give you a straight answer to that either - I don’t know either of you, and I can’t make such a huge decision for you, especially when I only have a couple hundred words of backstory on the relationship. I can tell you whether the relationship sounds healthy or not, based on what you’ve told me, and I can tell you some general information about situations that might cause people to break up, but you have to be the one to actually make the decision about whether or not to pull the plug. 

I don’t like my medication, should I stop taking it? 

I’m not a doctor and I can’t answer that. Stopping medication suddenly and without medical supervision can be dangerous - if you are having issues with your medication, you need to speak to a doctor about it as soon as possible. 

I want to be a psychologist! How do I do that? 

I’ve answered this question pretty extensively a couple of times, but the answer boils down to this: get the best GPA you possibly can, get as much research experience as possible, take lots of stats classes, register for the GRE early, do lots of research on graduate programs, and don’t be disappointed if it takes you a few years to get in.  I think that covers most of my Frequently Asked Questions! If you have anything else that you’d like to know, leave it in the replies to this post, or send it in as an ask! Here’s to 1000 more posts!

[allresolute]

[ @unearthlyxones​ has received a reading || Accepting ] [Landon]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Let’s have a bit of fun. Just think about yourself as a person as you draw three cards and set them down. And you get... oh... um... okay. This might be a bit of a rough one, honey.”

King of Wands (Reversed) Stern authority, intolerance, rigidness, an unhappy male figure

“In the past position, you drew the king of wands in reverse. Wands is a representative of fire. These cards are tied to the very nature of your being. They give us a peek into what has made you, you. And you pulled the king. So, normally, the king of wands represents a very warm and affectionate paternal figure; someone you could look up to and rely on. However, drawing him in reverse hints at you having difficulty with a major male influence in your early life. Most often, this is someone’s father, though it could also be an uncle, grandfather or close friend. The reverse king of spears represents a man who was overly harsh and strict. Someone who wasn’t satisfied with you. The card seems to show that perhaps he was intolerant of you. While may never have been physically violent, his rigid, unrelenting philosophies left scars on your psyche that run deep.  Honey, I don’t know much about your past, but you’re still carrying this with you, aren’t you. Always remember that when a parent treats you like shit, it isn’t your fault. Believe me. I know.”

10: Wheel of Fortune (Reversed) Frustration, Limitation, Fear of change, bad luck, the breaking of a cycle

“Moving on to the present position, you drew the wheel of fortune, also in reverse. This is a major arcana. They tend to pop up when something big is going down. Now, the wheel of fortune upright means good things are coming your way. Drawn in reverse, however, it is a symbol of bad luck. Well, okay, not exactly. But bad luck goes hand in hand with it. It means unexpected or unwelcome change. Are things kinda turbulent for you right now? Are you scared of something changing? Or perhaps you’re feeling kinda adrift right now like things are happening whether you want them to or not. Like the wheel is taking you on a wild ride. Don’t feel too bad, though. The reverse of this card has one last meaning that can be seen as a positive. Reverse wheel of fortune can also mean the breaking of a cycle. If you’re stuck in a rut, now is the best time to do something about it. Maybe you are quitting smoking, or getting out of an abusive relationship! Overall, your luck right now isn’t great. But put some extra effort in and you’ll get through it.”

16:The Tower Traumatic change, revolution, loss of stability, financial loss, revelation

“Okay... the tower. Not gonna lie, sugar, the tower is one of the most feared cards in Tarot, and that’s because it almost never leads to anything good. The tower represents the inescapable force of change. It is upheaval and chaos. Your world is gonna be shaken to its core. Something big is coming. Something huge, even. I often see it pop up in the context of relationships, coming up just before a divorce or a breakup or death. You may want to take some precautions. Spend a little more time with those you are close to. This card can also represent a sudden realization or an epiphany. A moment in time where everything stops and you can see the world differently. But knowledge can be hard. It may be the revealing of a truth you never wanted to know. Bottom line is, life is about to take you for a ride.”

“So here’s my advice. Hold. On. If we look at the way your present and future cards interact with each other, we can assume that the difficulty you’re going through now has the possibility to lead to the rocky times in your future. The thing about tarot is that nothing is set in stone. By taking action and making an effort to change now, you can avoid or at least minimize the hardships coming at you. And if you reach those times of hardship then roll with the punches. I learned in the circus that when you fall, you gotta roll. Rolling won't stop the hurt, but it will help prevent serious injury. Learn to take the difficulties in stride. Learn from it as you power through. And remember that you have people that you can rely on. You have a safety net. You don’t have to face that crumbling tower alone.”

[fogmongers]

                                          L  A  N  E    K  A  T  Z .                          history major.                                           dorming  with  Robin.                              skater (amateur).    photographer (amateur).    musician (amateur).

a restless hipster born to an aggressively patriotic cop and his stepford wife in nowheresland, montana, the only thing that ever stood between lane and his parents throwing down to hell was his older brother and unaccredited role model jack: the perfect boy, and the only mediator empathetic and patient enough to not only suffer the arguments of ethics between his parents and their unfavorite child, but also to defuse them.

jack had the philosophical savvy to understand and relate to lane, but at the end of the day, didn’t have the passion or endurance to live the peace-loving ideology they discussed. loyal to a fault and desperate to make his insecurely lower-class parents proud in wake of lane growing up to be a smelly hippie who brought shame to the family in their rural town, jack enlisted in the army at 18, very much against Lane’s pleas advice, leaving his little brother feeling tremendously betrayed.

already showing early signs of manic depression in his teens, the feelings of angst and anxiety caused by and for jack led to lane losing his self-preservation instinct. his high school years would see him acting on his impulses of hyper-sexuality and letting his mood swings and irritability turn him into a toxic friend. he had days where he was endearingly quiet and earnest, but switched to moods of reckless thrill-seeking decadence, or venomous, moody irritability with no warning or signal of how he would feel at any particular moment. became a serial dater who got away with breaking hearts because he had the veneer of a sweet artist--- wrote a few songs and poems for girls, always taking candid photographs of happy times and posting them with lovely captions, knows how to give a good, personal compliment when he wants to--- but he wound up being kind of isolated by the end of his senior year after girls started talking to each other about his behavioral patterns and nowadays he doesn’t have many friends to visit back in montana.

his home life was an even larger abyss, especially around the times his brother would come home. with each subsequent visit, jack became more visibly hollow. everyone could tell that he lost the shine in his smile, and it was clear that his mind was somewhere else during conversations, even before you told him that your girlfriend left you for your best friend and he smiled and said “I’m so happy for you.” 

when efforts to talk to jack again became increasingly futile and frustrating, no one in the family was able to cope constructively. while his parents promptly Bottled That Shit Right Up and, to this day, actively deny any of jack’s visible trauma, lane has reacted with a lot of emotions and crying and lashing out and, to this day, is not finished “grieving.” and it leads to a lot of tension between him and his parents. their relationship for most of hi high school life consisted only of radio silence and arguments– especially between lane and his dad, who wanted him to Man Up, stop “reaching for shit to get upset about” and “making up problems” and thought it was time for him to get his act together and stop partying so much, get more controlled like his brother, talk back less like his brother, put down the camera and guitar and join a sports team--- start thinking about his future.

it all built up to the peak of one typical argument about how shallow they are vs. how bratty he is, and his father declared that the family has been expecting lane to enlist at the end of high school to learn respect and discipline if he wants to keep his room in their house, and after lane lashed out, his dad raised his hand to hit him.

lane flinched away and the heat of the moment was cut soon enough for him to lower his arm, but the general threat of physical abuse is still there every time lane sees his dad, and the one time he tried to bring it up his dad denied that it ever happened--- basically tries to gaslight him into thinking he’s just overreacting and blowing things out of proportion and all in all the relationship has lost all hope. within a month after the incident, he stopped talking to his dad entirely.

his mom was, fortunately, there to witness the situation, and is still outwardly in denial about the whole ordeal, but she was sympathetic enough to keep them separated for the rest of lane’s childhood and support her son when preferred to go to college than boot camp. she helped him fill out his applications and apply for financial aid knowing, deep down, that she probably wouldn’t see him again after he pulled out of the driveway and headed to rainier the next year.

persona:

your standard artsy, pretentious white boy. fake-deep entry-level philosopher, hiding any vulnerability behind a fort of irony and alleged self-awareness. the guy “sarcastically” playing early 2000′s indie-pop hits on acoustic guitar in the quad because he won’t admit that he earnestly likes the sincerity of songs. teasing/negging girls who instagram pictures of their food and judging people for scrolling through their phones in public when they should be paying attention to him. would have dread locks if he went to college just ten years ago. wears his ziggy stardust or velvet underground tee shirts on the anniversaries of bowie & lou reed's deaths and mourns artists like them belligerently publically. reads sartre & marx in crowded spaces with the book cover as visible as possible. 

a walking contradiction. uncontrollable mood swings. he flips between extreme arrogance and worrysome levels of self-deprecation at the strum of a chord. an alluring and unpredictable mine field of a person, flipping the switch between boughts of wrath and guilt, ecstatic passion and dreadful apathy, tyranny and self-harm. a rebellious party boy, very popular for a loner, with boyish charm and intrigue. but he’s much more self-aware than he used to be--- after realizing that he had no friends’ houses to stay at in his senior year of high school because he pushed everyone away, he tries much harder to be a better friend to people, both out of the need for self-preservation since he can’t spend summer breaks or holidays in montana anymore, and also out of a genuine empathy and understanding of other people’s behavior and feelings that he had to learn the hard way. 

grew up extremely passionate about studying history; refuses to admit that it’s not really his thing anymore. constantly triggered by his own textbooks. he would really do better in some philosophy or literature or psychology (or being confident enough in his own potential to major in photography and grow up to be the war photographer he was born to be), but he’s developed a masochistic streak in recent years.

attached at the guts to robin dundee. they have a complicated friendship with, but robin’s overpowering energy kind of forces lane to default to being calmer to balance him out. the boys are always saying they’re going to start a band together but can never decide what kind since they’re never interested in the same extremely specific and obscure sub-genre at the same time (one week robin will say they should be a dark vaudevillian cabaret goth band while lane insists that they should play ethereal folk and by the time one of them gets into the other’s taste, the latter has already moved on to psychobilly) and they always push away each other’s recruits to the band since all of lane’s friends find robin too psychotic and anyone robin attracts finds lane too pissy and sappy. 

wanted connections:

short-lived relationships or flings that ended ambiguously or badly because he’s kind of hard to handle for long periods of time. demure or ditzy/non-threatening friends who let him feel like the mischievous one for once (he tends to flirt with these kinds of people). unrequited crushes (on either side, but he should also have a huge crush on annona). dealers, or friends/clients of his dealer who he smokes with. a party squad. a white boy skater/weed/videogame squad (COUGH nate/sid/robin/lane what COUGH). someone who’s intrigued by his undiagnosed psyche and just wants to get close to him to figure him out - or - who finds him boring because they already have him figured out. people who are begrudgingly friends with him because he workshops and photographs their art for their portfolios (maybe someone whose name sounds like mattah sarhews). a friend of that friend whom he doesn’t realize is gay and keeps flirting with because he thinks she’s playing hard to get and just has a deadpan sarcastic sense of humor. someone whose family he spends breaks with (i’m assuming he usually winds up spending them with his fling at the time but a friend who he can consistently stay with would be good too), or someone who also on campus when school’s out; bonus points if they only talk when they’re having heart-to-hearts on the empty grounds. activists who recognize his energy and want to mobilize him (it’s tk i’m talking about tk @ nina bring tk to rainier please). good influence friends who are understanding of his behavior. someone who’s a little too forgiving of him and winds up getting stepped on because they assure him he’s safe to be emotional around them. bad influence friends who push him to act more like robin. enemies who do not have any patience for him or his antics, or anyone who actively tells people about what a bastard he is. maybe someone from his old school who he’s burned?

[willowobble]

damn bro. i was asking because i am a young laddy, 18 years old and i have scholarships to a uni 13 hours (driving) away. supposed to major in psychology and i’m kind of terrified. i looked at the plan for the first year and it’s like computer science, biology, 3 psych courses, one elective, two other social science courses. but the years after are easy peasy. i’m just so drained from high school, i graduated online like a week ago and now i never want to go to school ever again. help a sis out.

oh wow! congrats on the scholarship! im always super impressed by psych majors, im an international studies major myself so im all up in liberal arts w the “”useless degrees”” lmao.

i feel ya on never wanting to go to school again. honestly, uni can be very draining too depending on what ur doing, classes u take, what the profs are like, and what ur own situation is (financially, mental health-wise, etc). also, im guessing you’ll have to move into a dorm/apartment possibly on ur own if ur going 13 hours away which can be terrifying, but honestly the freedom is so nice! even if u have a great home life and great relationship w ur fam, it’s amazing to get to decide what u do and when u do it, so there is that to look forward to!

uni is also great cuz u can meet new ppl and just get exposed to new ideas, even if u don’t agree w them! uni is a great place to kind of find who you are and what you want your place to be in the world, and just learning to really think critically about things

i know this is a long answer but honestly my advice to u is just to try and schedule smartly. if u think bio and comp sci are gonna be challenging then don’t take them at the same time! this is how u avoid getting 2 stressed. and do research on profs, they all have different teaching styles and different amounts of work they like to give. 

also, just think about your goals and that makes uni easier to get through. you even said urself that it’s supposed to get easier after the first year! like for me, my dream was to study abroad. like, had no plan after that, i just knew i really wanted to live and study abroad for a year so that’s what got me through my first 2 years of uni, then i got to spend a year in japan. also u should study abroad lmao

i hope some of this was useful to you! of course i want to be super encouraging but uni also is not the easiest thing ever and you probably will get stressed out and feel drained. as long as ur sure u want to study psych and go to uni, then it should be worth it in the end!

[beingdreeyore]

Reflecting & Sharing...

The Anon yesterday asked me how to feel better. Given I’m not a therapist or in anyway qualified to give advice, all I can speak from is what works for me. So, even though I feel a little vulnerable doing so, I thought I would share with you the lists I review every morning to get my head on straight for the day. 

Now, fair warning, I am obsessive and over the top. I know that. So this is going to seem insane. But also, this wasn’t a list I wrote one day, it has been added to and adjusted over six months. There are things on there that I skim over quickly because they are now habit, but wanting to keep them as such means being consciously aware of them.

When you look at it though, please remember that I am juggling full-time medical school (final year!), with a 30 hour/week job (out of financial necessity due to no access to student loans or family support, and living in an insanely expensive city), trying to get healthier to manage a (low-key, relatively harmless for now) long-term heart condition as well as my BPD/MDD, a distance relationship that is in its most challenging phase, attending DBT weekly, and seeing a therapist once a month... 

I have a shit tonne of stuff going on. As in, writing it just now makes me want to cry from exhaustion but was actually an awesome reminder to ease up on myself. I am BUSY!!! So, I would in no way expect someone with less hassles to have this much in their lists. But this is what I review each morning to remind me of the life I am slowly working towards and the mental black hole I am trying to climb out of...

(And please note that my Clin Psych oversees all of these and will say, “S. Seriously? Calm down. Some of these need to go.” I also allow my head of clinical school to review these with me every month or so just to ensure that people who care about my happiness but are separate enough to be objective can say when it is too much or to dial it back for awhile)

THERAPY GOALS:

Set by Clin Psych:

Focus on non-judgemental stance with self - email/text her weekly with examples 

“Have some fun, FFS!”

Reminders (as determined with Clinical Psych):

No bingeing - made a commitment. Practice RAIN, SNAIL, and RIDE the WAVE when urges arise

90% healthy - focus on healthy foods as much as possible, with room for some ‘less healthy’ foods 

DBT Group Therapy homework daily 

Review DBT for Emotional Eating daily

Try to reduce spending where possible to reduce financial stress 

Yoga or Pilates every day. Try to do this first thing where possible.

STOP before contacting him. Everything that you need to say has been said. He knows you miss him, that you want to see him, and that you want to stay together. Let him breathe. Practice SNAIL.

Try not to have junk early in the day. The earlier it happens the more likely you are to binge 

Take steps to achieve goal to come off medication after exams - sleep, exercise, healthy eating, sunlight.

HOW YOU LIVE TODAY IS HOW YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE. 

WHAT DOES “Happiness” LOOK LIKE? IS IT CONSISTENT WITH HOW YOU’RE LIVING?

When times get tough..

Think of the money you will save and how each dollar gets you to him debt-free faster 

Think of the future you want with him and ask yourself whether your actions are helping or hurting

Read page 83 of Mindfulness For BPD as a reminder of where BPD brain goes when it isn’t looked after... 

Re-visit the Buddha’s four noble truths - it is okay to be sad, but it is a choice to suffer 

Remember that if you can get your eating and exercise under control, you are one step closer to coming off medication 

Keep putting things in the context of the life you want to live one day and take steps to it

The life I want:

To be with him, have a family, and get that dog!

To be healthy 

To work part-time as a doctor and spend the rest of the time with my family 

To keep writing

To continue working towards no longer meeting criteria for BPD

To travel with him

To make him feel loved and appreciated. To feel those things for myself. 

DBT Solution for Emotional Eating 

Week 1: DBT emotion regulation model

Week 2: Make a commitment to no longer binge eat 

Week 3: no big or small binges + Wise Mind + diaphragmatic breathing 

When things are bad and you feel apathetic or despondent... Ask yourself:

How have you been eating?

Have you been exercising?

Have you been drinking in the last 48 hours? 

Normal DBT Homework:

Mindfulness WS 1, 2 - observe, describe, participate 

Mindfulness WS 5 - nonjudgmental stance, effectiveness, one-mindful 

Insanity, right? But this works for me. It has all the areas of my life, all the things that are important, mapped out. Maybe this sort of thing will help you, maybe it won’t, but I’m always keen to share ideas and get new ideas. 

Keen to hear your thoughts. And yes, you can tell me that I’m a little over the top! 

[thepinkseraph]

On the Topic of Spirit Relationships

Alright everyone! So this would be a follow up of this post discussing expectations of monogamy in spirit relationships. I have been wanting to make this post for a long time, especially directed at our younger spirit workers or otherkin who are just getting into working with spirits.  In this post I’ll be discussing the importance of separating astral (Ill be using the term Other World to make a distinction) from physical (ill be using the term IRL just for simplicity’s sake), how spirit relationships can affect you, and how spirits can be abusive. 

So, especially if you are a minor or a beginner spirit worker just barely getting into spirit work, I sincerely hope you take the time to read this and consider it carefully.

Spirit relationships 

A spirit relationship can encompass any type of ‘ship on the spectrum that we, as humans, know it. A spirit relationship can range from a normal typical friendship, to a romantic relationship, to a partnership, a companionship, and many more. In the case of deities, there is also the worshipper/worshipped aspect factored in. 

You can have any type of relationship with a spirit really. I want to stress that, no matter what kind of relationship you have with a spirit or deity, it will feel like a real relationship with real emotions. That means that, if you have a falling out with a spirit, if said spirit dies suddenly, if the spirit betrays you, protects you, etc, you will have a very real reaction to it. So, a spirit death can induce feelings of grief and depression, a spirit being mean to you can make you feel sad, and conversely a spirit being kind or friendly could very well make your day. This is because, at this very moment, whether we are into witchcraft, whether you are any type of otherkin, or whether you have any supernatural abilities, we are human. This doesn’t make you any less than a spirit, it doesn’t mean they are more powerful or greater than you, it simply means that they way we view things will be different.

So, to summarize, you can have almost any type of relationship with a spirit and it can have very real, very lasting effects on you.

How spirits can be abusive

This is a big one that I think, especially if you are young and/or inexperienced, goes unspoken and then years later spirit workers will find themselves stuck in a binding, difficult situation to escape from. 

So, to start off, spirit work is pretty serious business. 9/10 times once you meet a spirit, they will usually follow you home or decide to stick around you/interact with you from then on. This means that you can either meet a great friend, or a constant thorn in your side.  Thus, I advise caution to anyone who wants to begin spirit work, no matter what age. I recommend asking for advice, especially when it comes to a relationship with a spirit. I personally am always available for anyone who needs insight. 

So how exactly can spirits be abusive? Spirits can be abusive in exactly the same way that humans can, and more. This means that a spirit can gaslight you, they can hurt you in the Otherworld, and they can try to antagonize you in real life. BUT, I think one thing that people don’t realize is that spirits can also groom you by pretending to be a spirit guide, a twin flame, a soulmate, or any other type of close relationship you can think of. 

In this regard, abusive spirit guides will normally purposely antagonize you in a  effort to “make you stronger”. This means that they can either actively mess with you IRL (and YES, spirits CAN make things happen, like a string of extremely bad luck, losing things often, hurting yourself often, etc.) as well as in the Other world. They can ignore your calls for help, actively work against you or hurt you, or just betray you in any general way, all under the guise of enlightenting you , or unlocking your true potential. 

I personally am of the school of thought that you do NOT need pain in order to grow. So, if you meet a supposed spirit guide who is trying to use that as an excuse to antagonize you, seek help from a more experienced worker immediately so they can give you insight into this situation. It is best to always try to be in contact with someone more experienced because, if you ever do end up in this situation, it will be alot like trying to escape from an abusive relationship IRL. You will need to take active steps to make sure the spirit can no longer come into contact with you, enter your space or actively try to hurt you in the Other World. 

Another way I see spirits become abusive, is those who choose to begin a romantic relationship with you, and demand you to remain monogamous and faithful IN BOTH WORLDS. Although the sentiment is sweet if you personally would like to remain single in IRL in order to stay faithful to your spirit partner, I would strongly advise against it. Why? Because you are, in this life, at this moment, human. It is simply NOT HEALTHY to isolate yourself, especially for a spirit’s sake. A spirit who truly cares for you will recognize this, and allow you to live your life fully outside of them. Think about it- this life is already painful enough, why would they rob you of life’s little pleasures if they really cared about you? Not to mention, these lives are ridiculously short compared to a spirit’s lifetime. They can wait. 

Why you should keep Astral and Physical Separate

So right now you’re probably wondering what the problem could be, since they’re two different worlds that don’t interact- except they do. This means that whatever happens to you in the Other world WILL affect you in real life. So, as a result, you can develop PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, etc. from events that happen astrally and the worst part is, you won’t be able to tell many people about it, and most won’t be able to understand. 

Other World events can have  VERY real effect on your psyche. Not to mention, certain spirits are very vindictive and can actively work to make your IRL life a living hell. They can cause illness, financial problems, and general bad luck to happen just to spite you and wear you down. 

That’s why it’s VERY important to maintain a separation of church and state- over there and over here. Perhaps only allow one or two trusted spirits friends or guides into your actual domain, shield yourself from any prying eyes, and keep your waking life as separate form the astral as much as you can. 

Another reason you should keep both lives separate, is so that you can simply enjoy your life. If you’re a minor or a beginning spirit worker, more than likely you’ve encountered a spirit that you are having or want to have romantic relations with, which is fine- however don’t allow it to prevent you from living and experiencing your waking life as much as you can. This means- don’t allow it to stop you from dating, from meeting new people, or from letting yourself fall in love with others. Like I mentioned earlier, if they really and truly care about you, they will understand. If you become too consumed in the other world, you will forget about your IRL situations, which should always demand your immediate attention. Remember, you are human in this life, so these problems should always come first to you. Don’t put your entire life on hold for a spirit or anything else that comes from the Other World.

For now that’s it, if anyone would like any other type of information feel free to send me an ask. 

[astrologspecialist]

Vashikaran Specialist: Find the best vashikaran specialist for your love issues

Vashikaran is the way to the get right of passage to control an individual's considerations just as their casing to get our works from the loved one. In order to get control over an individual's psyche and body individuals need a vashikaran specialist to accomplish their work from the favoured individual.

Vashikaran specialist in India can tackle the issues you face in love and relationship similar as lost love issues or separate inconveniences or exceptional sort of relationship inconveniences in any case in the event that you are managing issues on your work and business venture then vashikaran mantra via the best vashikaran specialist is the best way which can clear up these issues inside a couple of days.

What is vashikaran?

Vashikaran is a recorded Indian procedure used to control each body's brain and it is generally used to acquire our work from the ideal individual by utilizing acquiring the control on their musings and ordinarily it's far performed by utilizing Tantrik baba in the previous days anyway the new strategies and ordinary exercise of this methodology via best vashikaran specialist can lead your reality to another top.

How the vashikaran can be advantageous in love and dating?

In the event that the vashikaran is drilled pleasantly, at that point it's far exceptionally valuable in love and dating. Love vashikaran specialist let you in bringing lower back your lost love into your reality again by which you may leave an absolutely happy coexistence with your caring friend. Or probably if that you are hitched and tolerating as evident with issues alongside your accomplice or in the event that your accomplice is having extramarital illicit relationships than love vashikaran specialist baba ji will help you cure the entirety of your relationship inconveniences in a couple of days.

Tackle out your monetary issues through vashikaran

The vast majority of the adolescent in India are having this issue and this issue drives their reality to a truly horrendous state of life. This issue drives people's ways of life to a degree of hopelessness and uneasiness with the guide of which they end it all and heaps of them power their reality in dependence on medications and alcohol. Try not to be stressed because of the reality the remarkable vashikaran specialist in India will help you with carrying on with a tranquil way of life by fixing all your financial issues inside certain days.

What is sambhog vashikaran?

Sambhog vashikaran is a tantric methodology wherein enamouring a woman, love accomplice or mate is needed through some exact oppression mantras and customs. The essential inspiration driving sambhog ka vashikaran is to make sex. Sex needs to not the slightest bit be applied for an immaterial intention. Inside the event that you need a woman and furthermore you need that young lady to cherish you and fulfil you without power, at that factor sambhog vashikaran strategy is a sure-fire way to deal with amaze.

Share your problem with us: -

If you are suffering from unavoidable problems in your life, you can take help from an astrology specialist. They have the ability to give you the best advice to solve your problems. Tabji is giving various types of issue solution reports identified with your life. Here you can share your problem with best astrologer of India.

Why to talk with our astrologer?

·        Personalized solution on the telephone.

·        Enable you to succeed

·        Engage in anytime & anywhere

·        Improve understanding and direction

·        Get support and help for each aspect part of your life

Our astrologer will make an honest effort to get your concern resolved however in case you're not fulfilled, contact us and we will address your concern earliest. Our astrologers are accessible every minute of every day. You can interface according to your benefit. Talk to astrologer specialist for an instant solution or call on +91 9776190123.

Vashikaran specialist can take care of your numerous issues like-

vashikaran specialist in India                                     call now - +919776190123

love vashikaran specialist                                           call now - +919776190123

vashikaran specialist baba ji                                       calls now - +919776190123

vashikaran specialist astrologer                                calls now - +919776190123

love vashikaran specialist baba ji                              calls now - +919776190123

love vashikaran specialist in India                            call now - +919776190123

love vashikaran                                                              call now - +919776190123

vashikaran expert                                                         call now - +919776190123

best vashikaran expert in India                                 call now - +919776190123

vashikaran                                                                       call now - +919776190123

vashikaran in India                                                        call now - +919776190123

best vashikaran specialist in India                            call now - +919776190123

vashikaran astrologer                                                  call now - +919776190123

vashikaran for marriage                                              call now - +919776190123

genuine vashikaran specialist                                    call now - +919776190123

powerful vashikaran specialist                                  call now - +919776190123

vashikaran astrology                                                    call now - +919776190123

vashikaran specialist India                                          call now - +919776190123

vashikaran expert in India                                          call now - +919776190123

vashikaran services                                                       call now - +919776190123

vashikaran specialist babaji                                        call now - +919776190123

vashikaran specialist astrologer in India                 call now - +919776190123

true vashikaran specialist                                           call now - +919776190123

vashikaran India                                                            call now - +919776190123

vashikaran mantra specialist                                      call now - +919776190123

best vashikaran                                                              call now - +919776190123

best vashikaran specialist                                           call now - +919776190123

boy vashikaran                                                               call now - +919776190123

love vashikaran specialist astrologer                       calls now - +919776190123

love vashikaran specialist babaji                               call now - +919776190123

powerful vashikaran specialist in India                   call now - +919776190123

vashikaran specialist baba                                          call now - +91 9178117363

vashikaran specialists                                                   call now - +919776190123

best vashikaran pay after result                                call now - +91 9178117363

best vashikaran specialist in the world                   call now - +91 9178117363

boy vashikaran specialist                                            call now - +919776190123

girl vashikaran specialist                                             call now - +91 9178117363

real vashikaran specialist in India                             call now - +919776190123

vashikaran baba                                                            call now - +91 9178117363

vashikaran guru India                                                  call now - +919776190123

vashikaran pro                                                               call now - +91 9178117363

love problem solution by vashikaran                       call now - +919776190123

love vashikaran astrologer                                         calls now - +91 9178117363

love vashikaran review                                                call now - +919776190123

powerful vashikaran                                                     call now - +91 9178117363

For more information call on +919776190123 & visit tabij.in.

[primeviewinsight]

Choose The Right Investment Advisor - Few Important Tips For You

Typically individuals don't pick monetary counsels; they basically connect with them. Numerous multiple times in some private banks you will locate a super specialist or super consultants who will sell you everything like protection, charge card, and even common assets. Banks are wholesaler of common asset and not the investment advisor.

  Psyche it; in the event that you are contributing counsel from any bank you really accept exhortation from a merchant and it that case it isn't fundamental that you get a reasonable and quality guidance.

  A consultant should be one who can give his clients genuine worth based counsel as opposed to just pushing deals to procure a superior commission. Consultant's job expects huge significance in an overflowing situation like the current one, when it is simple for financial specialists to forget about their goals and settle on wrong venture choices. Then again, a relationship with some unacceptable venture counselor can spell catastrophe for speculators. We present a couple of pointers which will help speculators check on the off chance that they are with some unacceptable venture counselor.

  In the event that the Advisor is offering compensations as far as recompense.

  Select a counselor for his capacity to suggest the correct venture roads and deal with your speculations instead of his ability to discount commission. By offering compensation the consultant isn't doing equity to his to his work as he is tricking you towards doing that speculation. This determines that a counselor is putting your cash in danger by giving you commission.

  This training (generally pervasive in spite of being unequivocally precluded) among speculation consultants is to discount a piece of commission procured, back to financial specialists for example the speculator is 'remunerated' for getting contributed. What financial specialists neglect to acknowledge is that the commission offered by the counsel is really prize for facing more challenge. Abundance creation for speculators should come from the ventures made and not commissions. Select a counselor for his capacity to suggest the correct venture roads and deal with your speculations instead of his readiness to discount commission.

  The consultant just advices top not many finances more often than not.

  More often than not a guide will propose you some asset and will show you its yearly returns. The vast majority of the highest level assets are sectoral assets and they convey a specific measure of danger. Normally area reserves being an asset with significant assignment to explicit areas they are high danger reserves. Ordinarily to produce enormous assets from the market the asset houses have fallen prey to group mindset and dispatched comparable contributions with hardly a pause in between. The banks and venture consultants have had their impact by carelessly promoting these items since they improve commission.

For More Info: investment advice

[whenthisstoryendsarchive]

Meta #10: Thora’s Tarot Reading and Elizabeth’s Fate

When we arrive at the circus in the film with Cam and Elle, we meet the first of our three captives, Thora. She's in her tent doing a tarot card spread when Cam and Elle approach her. Reading Elle's palm, Thora reveals that the girl is a spirit of the ocean. She then reads Cam's and warns him that a man will try to take his most precious treasure and that he mustn't let him.

Now, I did like Thora as a character. It was a neat touch to have a psychic with a wide array of powers. However, I didn't in any way approve of how she was portrayed. It's one thing to have a psychic who happens to have clairvoyance among her powers. But it's another entirely to reduce her to the "Fortune Teller" G**** stereotype, especially when she was portrayed by a white/white passing woman. Yes, it was set in a circus in the 1930s. But that doesn't make it ok. No more than having all of 3 black characters, 1 of whom has no lines, 1 who has 1 line, and the only one who gets a significant character essentially coming off as a Mammy IN MISSISSIPPI. Or, for that matter, having a half Mexican actress's ethnicity being ignored so she can play a white girl. This isn't a rant against the actors in anyway. Loretto, Shana, and Jo Marie were fantastic with what they were given. I loved their characters. But these are some gripes I have about stereotyping that I wanted to get out of the way, as it's relevant given the topic we're discussing today. And with that done, we can move on to the meta.

Today, we're going to focus on Thora's tarot reading and try to interpret how it impacts the rest of the film. I also, as a pagan mun, have put some of my own thoughts into this- and into my portrayal of Elizabeth- to determine how it impacts Elizabeth and her friends. And I will say, while I have both done tarot readings for others and for myself, and had readings done for me by others, I am not the best with doing them, as I need practice with taking the card and its meaning and applying it to the situation. Hopefully, this can serve for a bit of that.

The gif and photo above shows Thora pulling the cards, and from this clip of the scene, we can determine both the deck being used and the individual cards as well. Upon doing some research, I was able to determine that the deck is the 1JJ Swiss, or Marseilles, deck. And the cards that are pulled are- in order from left to right, top to bottom- the 8 of Swords, the Queen of Coins/Pentacles reversed, the Queen of Swords, the Knight of Cups, the King of Coins/Pentacles, and the Ace of Swords.

Before we can dive into this, however, there are some points we must cover for those who have never done or had a reading before. The first thing to know is that the cards and their meanings are important, of course. But the spread itself, meaning the layout and placement of the cards, as well as the symbolism of the cards are crucial too.

The cards in the deck are split into two different sections. These sections are the Major and Minor Arcana. The Major Arcana are more related to the spiritual and psychological aspects and issues of life, and include cards like The Lovers, the Hierophant, Death, the Tower, and Judgement. The Minor Arcana covers the more mundane, everyday issues, and is laid out similarly to a regular deck of cards. By this, I mean that there are four suits of number and face cards. But unlike hearts, diamonds, spades, and clubs, the Minor Arcana deals with swords, wands, cups/chalices, and coins/pentacles. The face cards in the Minor Arcana include the King, the Queen, the Jack/Page/Princess, and the Knave/Knight/Prince. The numbers and faces all have their own meaning, as do the suits.

Swords symbolize strife, toil, and mental energy and are related to Air. Coins symbolize the material and financial and are related to Earth. Cups symbolize the emotional and romantic and are related to Water. And Wands symbolize inspiration and creativity and are related to Fire.

The numbers, like regular cards, go from the Ace to 10. Aces indicate new beginnings, 2's duality and partnership, 3's consolidation and the first step to new ideas, 4's foundation and stability, 5's competition and instability, 6's success and creativity at work, 7's unexpected change and success against opposition, 8's positive or negative action and movement, 9's contentment and fulfillment, and 10's renewal and mastery.

The face cards usually represent people, but not necessarily, so the surrounding cards are important to consider. They can talk about a personality, a person themselves, news, or opportunities (the last two often as the page or knight). They can all be negative or positive. Here, however, each card's meaning varies by the suit. And instead of going through them all, I'll just describe the cards relevant to our spread.

The Queen of Coins tends to be a reliable, caring, practical, and loyal woman, who may or may not be material. The Queen of Swords represents a logical, shrewd, and careful woman who may have had emotional disappointments that led to self-isolation. The Knight of Cups usually tends to signify an enthusiastic, open, and understanding man, who may portend or seek a relationship. And the King of Coins usually points toward a knowledgeable, practical, successful, intelligent, and caring man that may  prioritize material wealth, without being miserly and still has concern for others.

With that in mind, we can now speculate on the spread that Thora used. We do have to remember that it is entirely possible that none of these were used, and Thora made up her own spread. But since this would make it all but impossible to try and determine the questions and placement, we're going to try and pick from known spreads; as the layout and placement of the cards are vital to the reading.

We can see that Thora drew 6 cards, in either 2 rows of 3, or 3 columns of 2. Because of this, I tried to find 6 card spreads with the same layout and found 4 potential choices. These are called the General 6 card, the 6 card Hungarian, the 3-card Variation, and Will I find love. Three of them work in rows, and one in columns.

The first spread we'll investigate is the General 6 card. It looks like this:

And the meaning of the card placement is: 1) How you feel about yourself now, 2) What you want most, 3) Your fears, 4) What is working for you, 5) What is working against you, and 6) Your future.

The 6 card Hungarian is the same layout as the other 3 spreads, but this is the one that works in the columns. So, it would be left, right, and middle.

The left two cards indicate your past. The two in the middle your present. And the right two your future. It may also work with the top cards being the distant past, present, and future and the bottom being the more recent past, present, and future.

The 3-card variation goes back to rows.

Here, card 1 is your past, 2 your current situation, 3 your future, 4 the effect of the past on your psyche, 5 the effect of the past on your present self, and 6 the effect of the past on your future.

Finally, Will I find love. This spread also works in rows.

The cards are laid out as such: 1- The present situation. 2- Energy blockages/Prevention. 3- The best approach. 4- Strength. 5- Environment. 6- Potential outcome.

Now, we could apply any of these to Elizabeth at this point in the movie. We haven't met her yet, and neither have Cam and Elle. Of the known human characters, Thora is the only one to know the truth. She's been Elizabeth's friend for a long time, and naturally, she'd want to help and look after her.

But, with some patience, we have one more subtopic to cover before we can try to determine the spread and give the reading's result. And this would be the meaning of the cards themselves. Remember that the cards we have to work with are the 8 of Swords, Queen of Coins, Queen of Swords, Knight of Cups, King of Coins, and Ace of Swords. And with our knowledge of the cards, we know that we have ones pointing to strife, material gain, and emotions.

The keywords for the 8 of Swords include major difficulties, restrictions, isolation, depression, little reward, and desperation. This card can indicate feeling powerless, being trapped with your hands tied, having to dig deep to find inner strength to free yourself, rising to the occasion with confidence in your own abilities, and a coming test. It often alludes to having relinquished control in your past.

When the 8 of Swords is drawn, you are called to closely examine the situation because judgement and feelings can be clouded or caused by fear, doubt, and insecurity. There is caution as well, as if this is not addressed, that feeling of helplessness will endure. The card offers the chance to vindicate the time and energy spent to reach that current point. It promises that you will either succeed or fail.

In a position of advice in the spread, the 8 of Swords tells us that every setback we face is meant to awaken us to new efforts. In situations like this, we have to learn by doing, and there's no formula to promise an outcome. We have to be open minded and optimistic, as it will better help us achieve the outcome we desire. In the same way, we have to be willing to put in the work that it will take to meet our goal. Furthermore, we're advised that we should be wholehearted, faithful, hopeful, avoid confrontation and criticism, keep strong against negativity and negative forces, and then we will overcome doubt and resistance. Confidence that we have what it takes to beat our demons and better our lives is of the utmost importance.

In a position dealing with relationships, we are told that we feel powerless in said relationship. But we fear leaving it because we may not find someone else.

The keywords of the Queen of Coins include intelligence, lacking self-confidence, good taste, imbalance, patience, and bearing a grudge. This can indicate not being fooled by a gentle exterior, confidence in truth, liking to spend money but being reliable and down to earth, safety and security, making others happy, caring for others, proving yourself, and material generosity.

We are called to remember that we all need care, and that sometimes we can get the stability we want by caring for others. Moreover, we can find our own true desire to be generous. There may be a person or a trait involving being good at problem solving, living to boost up others, and having good sense. There is a chance offered to solve problems, give to those in need, and share the benefits of our gains. It may point to teachers, healers, and charitable souls. But we are warned to think of the needs of others and give of ourselves to help them. Some extravagance is allowed, but caution must be present to avoid slacking off and greed. Enriching others, trusting those we care for, telling the truth without fear, and confidence doing what must be done will lead to true safety.

In a relationship position, it indicates comfort, flexibility, sensibility, caution with money, level headedness, loyalty, and balance.

But we have to remember that in Thora's spread, this card was reversed, or upside down. Generally, this means that the card should be read opposite or contradictory to what it would normally mean. In the case of the Queen of Coins, it can mean firstly a woman who is too cautious. It might also mean making an objective assessment of how we manage our lives, identifying areas to improve, warning against addiction, finding balance in how we spend our time, and finding what we're meant to improve. It also points to greed for money and power, lacking self-confidence, needing to be better grounded, and lacking the ability to work for our own wants.

The keywords for the Queen of Swords include solitude, independence, secrecy, deviousness, dominance, and being cold. This can indicate making our own decisions, not giving our hearts freely, confidence and capable adaptability, exercising independence, self-isolation to avoid disappointment, perceptiveness and sharp intellect, being unyielding, lacking emotional capability, and self-sufficiency.

We are called to remember that high standards may come off as being overly critical and hard to please. We need to better improve our understanding, so everyone is able to be themselves. And while there isn't necessarily anything wrong with being non-conforming, solitary, or dependent, we are still able to see the truth and lies of others.

In a position of advice, the Queen of Swords tells us that we don't have to rely on others and their promises, but instead what we can do ourselves. We shouldn't wait for opinions, but figure out what we want and get it. We don't always need permission or influence other than our own. In the end, we have to make decisions ourselves because no one can care for us better than ourselves.

In a relationship position, it indicates and ability to hide the emotional part of ourselves, which often comes across as being unfeeling. It may indicate a mentally strong person who seeks intelligence in a partner, and won't tolerate foolishness.

The keywords for the Knight of Cups include elusive love, emotional interaction, creative activity, possession, emotional addiction, and being self-serving. This can point to focusing on creative skills, fully applying yourself, being enthusiastic and open to new ideas, vision and advancement, emotional understanding, returning from a journey, and new and deeper relationships. Taking advantage of opportunity, the Knight tells us, is fine, but caution is needed to see the truth and clear the way for benefits to come.

We are called to remember that prodigal though we may be, we'll be older and wiser at the end of our journey. This card often called to young adults in their 20s or early 30s, as well as people who are emotionally at this age. In some cases, it can hint at an engagement or marriage that is incoming.

In a position of advice, the Knight of Cups gives us permission to take the plunge with both feet. Though we are warned to get involved and not think of the path to take. Values are key here, and we may have to look deep to find them. Humility is encouraged, along with looking at things with new eyes. Our journey was designed to ensure we return with a new appreciation. Our hearts and souls are full, and we are where we belong.

In a relationship position, the Knight shows us that we might be on the lookout for emotional fulfillment. Some may be bored when that wears off, and it can lead to a loss of interest and a new pursuit.

The keywords for the King of Coins include intelligence, skill, patience, corruption, dishonor, and falsehood and dishonesty. This may point to strong convictions, success through practical effort, confidence in work and goals, material wealth with compassion, accomplishments, comfort, deal making, finding opportunity and success, and responsibility. It may portend understanding of value and wealth hand in hand with the knowledge of suffering and burdens, and keeping perspective on both. A person indicated here may be a builder or manager who enjoys success and money. It's crucial to keep commitments and not let others down.

In an advice position, the King of Coins cautions us to act as if we're already successful. We have to have confidence in our plans and goals. Trust and authority must be used to move ahead, and will soon lead to blessings. In the end, if we remain confident and true to ourselves, support and help will come.

In a relationship position, warmth, fulfillment, kindness, and generosity are key. Advice is practical, well founded, and wise to follow. Excessive emotional demands aren't common, and security is a top priority.

Finally, the keywords for the Ace of Swords include clarity, movement, new ideas, confusion, stagnation, and violent action. This can mean a struggle for justice, power, breaking through to achieve mental clarity, instigation of change, a clear single minded vision, moving in the right direction, evolution and progress, a new beginning, hope and victory, and mental awakening that leads to growth and development through conflict.

We are called to remember to stay focused and firm, because our goal is within reach. In addition, it's best to avoid excessive force if at all possible, in order for our victory to endure.

In an advice position, the Ace of Swords tells us to keep steady and the goal will be ours. We shouldn't hesitate, and have to put distractions to the side. Nor should we fear the consequences or hold back.

In a relationship position, we find a new sense of self-confidence blooming. The fear of disappointment, lack of faith, and low level of confidence we were carrying before can't hold us back any longer.

Now, if we go back to our card symbolism, we see that Thora pulled 3 Sword cards, 2 Coins, and 1 Cup. These are cards of toil, wealth, and romance. Elizabeth and the others certainly go through many difficulties, but Cam and Elle's love and Elizabeth's own sacrifice bring freedom and deeper wealth to all of them than the material wealth and power Locke sought. Elizabeth finds love and gains her freedom. Elle's illness and cured and she discovers the truth. Cam saves the two most important people in his life, gets his story, finds love, and gets a renewal of faith. Thora and Ulysses get their freedom, find their own confidence, and help their friend defeat the forces holding them all captive.

Of our two number cards, Ace and 8, we see new beginnings and positive or negative movement. All the group gets a new lease on life and a new sense of physical and emotional freedom. They all move together toward it.

Then, when we pair those with the four face cards, we have an even better understanding of the spread. Remember, the Knights and Pages lead to news and opportunity. The Queen of Coins indicates a reliable, caring, practical, and loyal woman. This fits Elizabeth, Thora, and Elle  to varying degrees. But in the reversed position, it clearly indicates Elizabeth. The Queen of Swords is a logical and careful woman with emotional disappointments that still linger. This is also very much Elizabeth. Both of these cards tend to focus more on Elizabeth's negative aspects and plight; her being too cautious, being unable to free herself, needing balance and confidence, wanting safety, being lied to and tricked, not giving her heart freely, isolating herself to avoid being hurt again, and hiding herself. But we also see her good side as well; her intelligence, her healing and selfless nature that drives her to care for others, her improved understanding through her captivity, and how she learned to both see through lies and make better choices. This duality is shown in the contrast between the Swords and Cups, and her captivity and freedom.

The Knight of Cups, without doubt, is Cam. He's a young, creative, and caring man who comes with the emotional fulfillment Elizabeth always searched for. And rather cleverly on some crew member's part, the card that signifies an end to a journey, new appreciation and understanding, a leap of faith, and a deep relationship comes from the suit representing water. Cam was always the one Elizabeth searched for. He was always the one destined to save her and bring her home. Furthermore, Cam has his own draw to water; wanting the elixir to cure Elle, and his favorite memories being of the beach, seen when he tells Elizabeth he wished they'd get stuck in a whirlpool and the summer would never end. They take that leap of faith together- he trusting in the impossible and she risking her heart and her life for one more chance of hope- and like a rainbow following a storm, their fears and doubts are washed away to leave them with something new, beautiful, and deeply profound that stays with them the rest of their lives, as shown at the end when Elle tells her granddaughters that Elizabeth was always with Cam, and that was another story.

Finally, we have the King of Coins. That indicates a successful, intelligent man who prioritizes wealth and power. Though said to be caring, don't forget that the card can be negative or positive. And negatively, it indicates corruption, dishonor, dishonesty, deal making, and a builder and manager who is successful and greedy. This can be none other than Locke. Locke is the driving force here. His lies and tricks get Elizabeth into a deal she literally can't free herself from. His cruelty and greed drew him to threaten both Elizabeth and Elle, capture Elle, and spurred Cam, Thora, and Ulysses to act to save the two of them. And, in the end, his greed was his own undoing.

If we try to apply the meaning and symbolism of the cards to our 4 potential spreads, we can find that any of them could possibly work to tell the rest of the story to a careful, knowing eye in a single shot. They all have points that make sense and fit perfectly. But they also have ones that are more of a stretch, or don't in as nicely as the others.

In the General 6 card spread, Elizabeth feels desperate, isolated, trapped, and powerless in the relationship with Locke. She gave away her power and control to him, and now she needs to work to free herself and get her soul and freedom back. She's being told to dig deep, vindicate her past efforts, and be strong and have faith. All of her past failures in love had a purpose, and were meant to renew her now so that she could find the confidence to free herself and face the test. If she doesn't, she'll never be free. What she wants the most is to be more balanced, grounded, confident, and find where to improve. She's being too cautious with her heart and trust, and that along with the deal she made, are keeping her from fighting for herself so she can gain all the benefits the Queen of Coins normally offers. She Fears that she'll continue to be trapped, not only by Locke, but by herself as well. She's hiding herself away emotionally and not giving her heart freely because she doesn't want to again face the hurt she's felt in the past. She needs to learn to make her own decisions and see through the lies of others so that she doesn't rely on them anymore. She has to open herself up, tell the truth, and trust herself if she wants Cam's understanding and help. In a way, she wants the best of herself, but her fear of herself and her history is holding her back. What's working for her is Cam. His feelings and understanding if she does open herself up to him and give him the truth without holding back are the first steps to her going home; and going wiser, fulfilled, and with a new understanding. But for this to happen, they both need to take a leap of faith and see things in a new light. What's working against her, clearly, is Locke, his greed, and the deal they made and bond it forged. She knows the burden he's given her, and her hope to return home. She needs to be confident, true, and trusting in order for Cam and Elle to truly be able to help her help herself. Finally, her Future, if she does all of this, will include violence and a struggle for justice. The die has been cast, and change for the better is coming. She needs to stay focused, resolute, and unfaltering because her freedom is within reach. And once she gets it, she’ll have a new sense of hope, self-confidence, and growth. Nothing can hold her back now, but she needs to avoid excessive force to truly get her new beginning.

In the 6 card Hungarian, Elizabeth's past had her feeling trapped, desperate, and isolated because of her regarding herself as the prodigal daughter. Also, because she was disappointed in love, which caused her to isolate herself further. Currently, she's grown too cautious, and can't fight Locke herself. She needs help to break the deal and get her freedom. In the future, if she learns to overcome all her regrets that hold her back, and can face the violence ahead of her with courage and confidence, she'll be able to return to the sea wiser and better than when she left home all those years ago.

In the 3-card Variation, Elizabeth's past had her trapped and losing hope, closing in on herself. This led to her currently being unable to act herself, physically and emotionally. Her future will include her continuing to be a captive, or worse, if she doesn't follow the effects internally and externally. Internally, she needs to get a new understanding of herself and others. She has to grow from the prodigal daughter to a woman of her own making. And to do that, she needs to trust herself and stay true to her friends and overcome the lies and greed that brought her here. It will cause violence and struggle in her future, but she'll gain her freedom and be all the better for it.

In the Will I find love spread, Elizabeth is currently trapped and about to face and test that will require her to be strong and confident, or she'll never be free. What's preventing her is her inability to fight for herself due to fears of the past repeating. Her best approach to break free is to make her own choices and not isolate herself anymore, as long as she doesn't take a promise of help on that alone. She needs to work for it herself too. Her strength comes from her own growth and the help of Cam, Elle, Thora, and Ulysses. This will cause a shift in her oppressive, corrupt situation, and break the deal that she made with Locke long ago. That break will lead to violence and a fight to get justice. But it will give her the freedom, love, and redemption she's so long desired.

Of course, in the first spread, what Elizabeth wants most could be wrong, since the meaning of the Queen of Coins fits better than the reverse. The second could be a bit of a stretch, as it says she'll break free and remain stagnant at the same time in the future. That ending stagnation and captivity in the future also carries over into the third spread, thus making it a little harder to apply the last 3 effect cards. And in the fourth spread, we might face some problems in the prevention and best approach sections. Elizabeth's caution does hold her back, and the best way to end that would be to be surer of herself. But staying stagnant wouldn't accomplish that.

With these benefits and drawbacks in mind, we also need to consider this crucial moment when Cam and Elle leave Thora to go to the main tent and see Elizabeth.

Here, if we watch Thora, we can see her gathering up the cards rather quickly. But she lingers on one card, and looks at it more carefully before looking off after Cam and Elle with a rather worried look on her face. The card she holds seems to be the one closest to the box that held the strand of pearls. This would indicate that that card in particular means something crucial to Thora and how she interprets the entire reading.

Watching closely, we can see that the card is in the right column, close to the box with the necklace. This would point to the Queen or Ace of Swords. However, it appears that she goes from the bottom up. This would mean that Thora's focus is on the Queen of Swords. So, her attention is drawn to Elizabeth's self-isolation more than the card that ensures her freedom. This would put significant importance on the Queen of Swords' question and answer in the spread. From our possible spreads, we see this points to Fear, Half of the Future, Future, or the Best approach.

Keeping all this in mind, along with everything in the movie after that point, we can guess that the spread was either 1 or 4, the General 6 card or the Will I find love, as they make the most sense given the placement of the Queen of Swords. But because the environment card following the strength seems a little strange to me personally, making the card signifying Locke follow the one pointing to Cam, I'm going to say that Thora did the General 6 card spread. This layout, its questions and card placement- of course forgiving my poor attempt to turn the reversed Queen of Coins into something she wants- makes the most sense in terms of the spread itself. It also follows the film the closest, and would be the easiest for someone unfamiliar with Tarot to work with.

So, in the end, we can read the General 6 card spread with the 8 of Swords, Queen of Coins reversed, Queen of Swords, Knight of Cups, King of Coins, and Ace of swords to read:

Elizabeth feels trapped. She wants to be free, but her own faults are what's holding her back. A new, deep love with understanding and faith that manifests mainly in Cam, but also in Elle, Thora, and Ulysses arguably, is there to help her while Locke still strives to keep her bound to him. But they will all work together, overcome violence, and Elizabeth will be free.

We can link this to the rest of the film, and my own headcanons in the following ways.

Thora had barely done the reading when Cam and Elle walk in. As Elle enters, she turns over the final card, the Ace of Swords. And since Elizabeth is already in the tank, Thora may be doing it with her telepathically. And, as some people who do readings use significator cards to focus on and symbolize the person getting the reading, it makes sense that Thora would have the pearls.

Significator cards, in my understanding, tend to focus on age, gender, and astrological sign. Methods for picking age vary. I've seen single young people be Pages and Knights, and married people be Queens and Kings. Some say girls under 18 or children are Pages, Knights are men from 18-39, Queens are women over 18, and Kings are men over 40. I've also seen each card have its own sign, or suits in general. For example, Cups can apply to Cancer, Scorpio, or Pieces. Wands would apply to Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius. Swords would be for Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius. Still others choose based on appearance, with fair hair and eyes being Cups, red hair and blue or green eyes for Wands, light hair, eyes, and skin for Swords, and dark hair, eyes, and skin for Coins. And, of course, the gender thing is totally flexible. It's whatever feels best for the two parties.

Going by these, I as a young, unmarried Gemini woman with light hair, eyes, and skin would be either the Page or Queen of Swords, depending on the age choice I go with. My friend with dark hair and eyes but fair skin, who's a Sagittarius would be the Knight or King of either Wands or Cups, but they choose and identify more with Wands.

Thora, however, bypassed all of this and followed some readers I've also seen by using a possession of their subject's for the significator. Thora used the pearl necklace, which I headcanon as belonging to Elizabeth; having been a gift of protection from her mother. This would surely strengthen Thora's own powers and the connection between her and Elizabeth for the reading, because the necklace was owned by Elizabeth.

So, because of the telepathic link already opened, and the powers of both Thora and Elizabeth, the mermaid already knows Elle is there and what she is. It's possible Elizabeth may have even told Thora before the other woman read the girl's palm. Regardless, we get this reaction of a small gasp and a look of recognition when Thora tells Elle she's a spirit of the ocean.

This alone would point to, for lack of a better phrase and to make a fully intended terrible pun, the tide turning for our captives. Elizabeth already believes that the girl with the mermaid's heart can set her free. And the fact that she's there, with a young man nevertheless, only doubles it.

By this point, Elizabeth, and likely Thora, also know that Locke is looking for someone. Hell, Thora may even know more about it than Elizabeth. With that knowledge, and Elizabeth's own belief, Thora takes Elizabeth's mother's pearls and gives them to Elle. She looks fearful, clenches Elle's hand and whispers when she tells her "You should keep these."

Further leaning to this is the moment when Thora takes Cam's palm. She gazes into it deeply, before seemingly going into a trance and making her prediction. This scares Elle and troubles Cam, before she snaps out of it. She then looks closer to the Queen of Swords.

Between her own powers, Elizabeth's, the brief tarot reading, and the reading of Cam and Elle's palms, Thora knows what's coming.

Cam incites Locke's anger after the show when he tells Elle that it was all a trick, and Elle insists Elizabeth was real. This may have turned Locke's attention to them, and begun his sights turning to Elle. Cam then protects Elizabeth when the 3 young men threaten her near the Ferris Wheel. This only further pits the wizard against the newcomers, and draws Cam and Elle closer to Elizabeth. Locke truly begins to see them, especially Cam, as a threat when Cam comes to interview him and when  he spies Elizabeth with him and Elle in the woods. He knows Cam is drawn to Elizabeth, and what Elle is, thus making him plot to take her too.

Cam and Elle have already proven themselves willing to fight for Elizabeth and each other by the time Cam sneaks into the circus and hears Locke's plan for Elle and Elizabeth's siren song. We also see him further embody the Knight of Cups, and parallel Elizabeth, in his gentle interactions with the elephant.

This parallel comes when Elizabeth protects Ulysses, fully intending to take a whipping for him. Locke threatens Elizabeth for it, and Thora helps Elizabeth get Ulysses away. Not long after, Cam is caught in Elizabeth's tent, and Thora follows to warn him to stay away from Elizabeth. She knows that he suspects something, and wants to save her, but she also knows that her friend is already on thin ice and in danger, along with Elle. Cam, while nobly wanting to help, is unwittingly putting both Elle and Elizabeth in danger, and Thora tries to warn him in the only way she can; telling him to go and not come back. Elizabeth isn't ready to open up yet, and is still clinging to her fears, so she has to choose between them. And her choice lies with her friend. After all, the more Cam angers Locke, the more he pushes him, it might cause the wizard to take action against before she's ready and able to act for herself.

By their scenes on the paddleboat, Elizabeth is already feeling drawn to Cam. They slowly open up to each other, talking about their pasts, dancing, and laughing. They even nearly kiss. It culminates when Cam follows her into the river and she finally tells him the truth. Cam never would have left Elle alone before then, and Elizabeth never would have confided in him without that night. And Cam never would have believed if he hadn't seen the proof with his own eyes. The night on the river is crucial to everything coming together. Cam overcomes his doubts and certainty of the impossible, Elizabeth sees that she can trust him and finally opens her heart fully. She takes the leap of faith, and so does he. And this gives Locke the chance he's been waiting for; to take Elle and enact the next part of his plan.

The clock is ticking, and Locke knows it. He acts and sends Sid to kidnap Elle from her room at Lorene's. That brings Cam to the circus and sees him finally gain Thora's trust and help. Elizabeth has probably told Thora everything, filling in whatever gaps the other woman had. She knows about the talk on the boat, the dance, the near kiss, and that the truth is finally out. She knows too that Locke knows, that he wants to take Elle and kill Elizabeth, and most importantly, that Elizabeth is ready to fight. She's going to give her all for herself and for Elle. Together, Elizabeth and Thora form a plan with Ulysses to rescue Elle and leave together with the girl and her uncle.

Elizabeth warns Elle about Locke and helps her stand up to him. This buys them time when Locke threatens Elle, which I allude to by saying he'd have pressed her into agreeing by threatening Cam and Elizabeth. More important, though, Elizabeth stands up to Locke herself, ordering him to let Elle go. She is put in the tank after he refuses and tells her she's going to die, and Elle is locked in the cage, which is where Thora and Cam find her. Thora reveals that if Elizabeth leaves without her soul, she'll die. Cam agrees to save Elizabeth and takes them to where he suspects the soul is hidden, freeing the elephant in the process, before they leave with Elizabeth.

Once Cam, Elle, Elizabeth, Thora, and Ulysses are on the train, he returns her soul, fulfilling his promise and allowing Elizabeth to see that he can be trusted to keep his word. She also learns that he'll look after all of them. But Locke, Sid, and Sid's lackeys follow, leading to the fights in the train car, in the woods with Ulysses and Sid and Thora and Locke, and the girls and Cam against Locke. Elizabeth makes the ultimate sacrifice and offers her soul, and her life, to try and even the odds in their favor and protect them all. With Elle, Thora, and Elizabeth's father and grandfather's help, Locke is defeated and turned to stone at the bottom of the ocean. Cam is saved by Ulysses, and they race Elizabeth to the water. However, it's too late and she dies before reaches the sea. Cam and Elle return her soul, and with her grandfather's help, Elizabeth is revived.

She then comes back to heal Elle, kisses Cam, and says goodbye to everyone before going home again. They're all safe. Elle has her cure, Cam has his faith, and Elizabeth has love and home.

Furthermore, though not crucial to the reading or movie itself, but more to my portrayal of Elizabeth, I thought it rather fun to find that in my own preferred deck, The Celtic Tarot, our 6 cards also seem to come back to my own headcanons. Here, the cards portray Celtic myths. The 8 of Swords tells the story of Sionnan, granddaughter of Manannán mac Lir, whose recklessness and naivety took her away from her home and left her in exile in a strange land with no way to return. The King of Coins tells the tale of Cormac mac Airt, who received a gift of golden apples on a silver branch from Manannán mac Lir, which ushered in a 40 year long golden age, and whose music calmed all. I portray Elizabeth as a granddaughter of Manannán mac Lir in exile, due to her own youthful trust and disregard. Her grandfather tries to help her along the way, promises her an eternal place in his kingdom of Tír na nÓg, and whose greatest gift was to give her back her life when she died, also helping his son and Elle to turn Locke to stone forever in the sea. And, as a mermaid, Elizabeth had a magical song.

The Knight of Cups tells the story of Cú Chulainn, a warrior who remained to his love, even when attempts were made to keep them apart, right to his death. Then, in the Queen of Swords, we see the fairy queen Maeve, who was infamous for her cruelty. This included killing her pregnant sister so she and her husband could take the throne of Connacht. Maeve had many affairs, but the one she desired most- and never had- was Cú Chulainn. She was eventually killed by her nephew to avenge his mother. As a mermaid, Elizabeth is technically a fairy, and despite past misguided romances, she finds true enduring love, even when distance and a powerful, cruel force tries to keep them apart.

The Queen of Coins tells the tale of Queen Ceasair, a woman potentially from Greece. She is considered to be Ireland's first queen, and was said to be a daughter of Noah who, along with her husband and 52 others turned pagan when Noah refused them a place on the ark. Their new idol told them to build a ship of their own, which brought them to Ireland. Elizabeth, through her mother is distantly related to Poseidon, and arguably has some Greek in her blood. Additionally, she is pagan in her mermaid verses, and feels very drawn and connected to Ireland as well as being Irish and Manx. This also links back to Manannán mac Lir, as he's the Irish god of the Sea, and it was believed that Tír na nÓg lay in the Isle of Man, making her Manx by birth.

Finally, in the Ace of Swords, we hear the story of Nuadu Argattan or Nuadu of the silver arm. He was a king of the Tuatha Dé Danann (or Gods) before they went to Ireland. He lost an arm in battle, and was thus forced to abdicate by Tuatha law. His cousin was crowned in his place, and married Brigit, daughter of the Dagda, and ruled oppressively. Seven years later, Nuadu returned with a fully function silver arm, made for him by his physician. Nuadu again became king, and was aided in war against his cousin by Lugh. Elizabeth is also a goddess who lost a piece of herself and was able to regain it and return to her rightful place with the help of those she trusted, following a battle against an oppressor.  

 Sources:

 thetarotempress.com/will-i-find-love-tarot-spread

mistertarot.com/three-card-spread/

m.tarot.com/tarot/decks/1jj-swiss

i.pinimg.com/originals/b0/d9/1f/b0d91f72ec11bd20dcf92d9b2a755f34.jpg

divinationlessons.files.wordpress.com/2019/09/six-card-hungarian-spread-e1569525845163.jpg?w=591&h=444

thetarotlady.com/significators-tarot-reading/

The Celtic Tarot by Julian De Burgh