sguidwards-bestfriend

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

I find it kinda funny (genuine) when DC people run into the DPxDC side of tumblr.

DC has so much lore and options and universes, and so many of those fans know SO much about their special guy! It's great and I love it. (Again, so very genuine)

But watching them walk into DPxDC is like seeing a hardened criminal walk into a fantasy Mcdonalds playplace, facing a glowing cat snake thing, and then keeping up the hardened criminal shtick while ignoring everything around them.

Like dude chill, most of our cannon isn't even cannon. (There is no typo there, I am serious). (Fannon stopped being fannon when most fans can't distinguish it from reality.)

We grabbed the show and smushed it into something we could play with like a little girl playing with dolls. Including the death, dissection, vivisection, revivals and what not that said little girl would play.

And we did it so well most people in the DP phandom don't even know what's real and what isn't. (The DP cannon quiz has a 49% average grade)

This isn't a mean post at all, just a curiosity I have seen repeatedly.

Hopefully those who walk into our fun house will notice it is in fact a house of lies and joy, held together by the strength of the fic writer who started it (I am looking at you Wes weston) and enjoy themselves in our whimsy.

Yes even if we throw their cannon out the window :)

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

'why?'

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“You thought you ate that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

BTW i see these posts all the time like "ohhh i dont know what to comment on fics.." and every response is "keysmashes! or hearts!! anything works :3" and thats GREAT!! thats helpful!!

but: consider. if u genuinely like analyzing writing.. do u know ur just allowed to go through and quote your favorite parts and ramble abt what they mean to u and the author will LOSE IT WITH HYPE?

genuinely. i felt SO WEIRD the first time i did it.. but like. holy shit authors love it. its crack for authors. the first time i did it, it was on a fic that hadnt updated in half a year, give or take, and the author made 3 updates that month BECAUSE OF MY COMMENT.

LIKE. as an author every comment is INCREDIBLE!!! but also, dont feel like your comment has to be short or otherwise ur invasive or smth!! authors ADORE long comments more than ANYTHING.

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

DPxDC Heritance

There's not much left for Tim in his parents' wills. Or, well, not much by his standards - the rest of the family, barring Bruce and Damian, think he is absolutely loaded and too full of himself to care. Which is maybe a little bit true; receiving about a dozen properties across the world, a trust fund and a wide collection of artifacts that his parents have accumulated through years of their archeological escapades is a lot by middle class standards.

But Tim knows how much money Drakes actually had, and a few old houses and an assembly of junk seems like not much in comparison.

In any case, it's all rather useless in Tim's position. He has no interest in traveling aside from when he has to for a mission, and he couldn't give less shits about archeology even if he tried. The trust fund is fine, he guesses, but it's not like he needs it, what with being the CEO of Wayne Enterprises and one of the Wayne Wards.

So, as morbid as it is, the best reaction he can muster at his inheritance is a shrug and a mention in his mile-long list of 'things I need to figure out when I have time'. Which basically means he'll maybe get to it when he's old and retired, and not any sooner, because Tim Drake the CEO and Red Robin the vigilante are both very, very busy people who never have time.

Naturally, his life has other plans, and it's only two or three months later that Tim finds himself breaking through the balcony window of his own apartment in Praha.

It's at that moment, when he's lying on top of a soft persian rug, surrounded by glass shards and wondering if this move was enough to lose his tail that he realizes his inheritance might be slightly more than just a few properties and some boxes with old things.

Because, through his own heavy breathing, he hears a thoughtful, slightly sarcastic voice from inside the room, "I guess the door was too hard to figure out for you, wasn't it."

He sits up, turning his head so sharply it almost snaps. His eyes immediately fall on a boy not much older than him, sitting with one leg thrown over the other on the dark red couch near the wall. He looks like he clearly belongs here: white, vintage collar shirt and black, high-waist trousers, a silver ring on his thumb that looks too old to have been bought in this century, dark raven hair and perfect porcelain skin.

And he is reading a newspaper. Like a slightly bleeding costumed guy in a domino mask breaking the window and falling onto the carpet is just another Tuesday.

Hold on, this is Tim's house! He double-checked the address, there's no mistake!

"Who are you?" He demands, frowning, as his hands reach to the birdarangs out of habit.

"Keeper of Doors," the boy answers, not looking up and flipping the page, "And you're the Drakes' heir, I assume."

Tim blinks. The response provides no actual answers, it only creates more questions. "What doors?" He asks because the rest of the points can most likely be addressed later. Like the issue of his busted secret identity, right.

The boy sighs and closes the newspaper, folding it in half and uncrossing his legs to sit a bit straighter. "Doors, capital 'D'. The ones that lead everywhere you want."

"The what?.." Tim repeats, dumbfounded and lost in this unexpected nonsense. The boy gives him a truly unimpressed look, his eyebrow twitching. Then, he stands up - Tim's fingers close around the birdarang again - and steps towards the nearest door, grabbing the handle. His feet make absolutely no sound.

"Drake manor," the boy announces and pushes the door open. He doesn't step through, however, instead just standing in the doorway and turning back to Tim, gesturing for him to look.

Tim does.

Seeing the familiar hall, the one he's seen so many times, the one he walked through every day before he moved out, makes him realize a few things at once. One, he needs to revise the list of houses he inherited since it looks like they are not just properties but a map of teleportation points, most likely. Two, his parents knew full well he didn't need the trust fund, it wasn't for him, it was probably for this boy, who may or may not be the, well, gatekeeper. Three, if the first part of his inheritance turned out to be this, he is going to need to call in Zatanna to sort through the collection of his parents' artifacts lest something turns out to be actually cursed in there.

Four, he's been staring at the boy and gaping like a fish for longer than its socially acceptable.

"...What's your name?" He asks, suddenly conscious about the fact he was kind of rude before. The boy snorts, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he closes the door back.

"Danny," he introduces and snaps his fingers. The glass shards around Tim move all at once, rising from the ground and going back towards the window, like a reversed video recording. A second later, the balcony window looks as good as new, not a crack in the glass. "And you?"

"Red Ro-" Tim starts, but then pauses. Fuck it, he might as well, "Tim."

Danny waves his hand in the air, like snatching something out of nowhere, and, just like that, there's a box that looks suspiciously like a first-aid kit in his hands.

"Nice to meet you, Tim. Now, get over here and stop ruining my carpet with your blood."

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Im imagining Tim going up to Danny early in the morning as they walk to breakfast. Danny isn't entirely awake and he plans to ask everyone not to touch him today.

Before he can, he hears a voice say, "Happy birthday bud".

Tim touches his hair just barely, the second his fingertips touch a single strand, he goes stiff, his arms pulling in and his breath getting stuck in his throat. He drops and can't hear anything.

Tim, to his knowledge, appears in a basement. The corners of the room seem fuzzy, even when he looks right at them. The whole room seems to tilt towards a hole in the wall.

He's seen enough cults and magic deficient cookoos to know it's an attempt at a non magical portal.

Suddenly 3 people appear in the middle of a conversation, three teens, probably 8th or 9th graders.

A goth girl, white, dyed hair, big boots.

A kid in a beret, black, nails cut short, holding a highly modified pda.

And Danny, he looks less tired, no bags under his eyes, his hair is freshly washed, he's wearing a black and white jump suit.

The soles of the shoes he's wearing are thick, probably rubber. It makes him walk clunky, like they were bought for him to grow into.

He can't make out what they are talking about. The Goth girl sticks a logo onto Danny and smiles.

They seem to egg him on to do... something with the portal, based on where they are looking.

Danny turns and steps towards it, his foot steps echoing loudly in the metal room. Tim gets closer aswell. As he does, he sees how the inside of the portal has wires thrown everywhere.

As he turns, he notices some things wrong with the basement. Open tube's of green goop, no place to wash hands or clean out any eyes, there is no safety equipment in this room, and the entrance is just a stair we'll up, so the likely hood that it's all in the entrance is nearly null.

There are weapons strewn across the table. They don't seem to even have a safety. Much less have said safety on.

Then Tim feels a horrible shock run through him, he feels his body tighten and spasm uncontrollably. There is an echo of people screming.

He's screaming.

So much screaming his throat feels ripped apart.

The pain is unbearable. He can feel each of his nerves firing off all at once.

Cold

Heat

Cold

Burning

Cold

So cold

Finally his muscles release and he drops to the ground.

The room is glowing a sickly green when he sits up. Disoriented, he turns to where the glow is coming from.

His portal theory is correct, he watches as a smoking hand comes out. The rest of the body comes stumbling after.

A white haired boy looking down, with his other hand over his heart, steps forward from the portal, another jumpsuit, this one it's colors inverted to what Danny was wearing.

Danny was in there. Is this?

The white haired boy looks up, lacking the blue Tim has known for a few months now.

Danny looks up.

His skin smokes and his eyes swirl with the green that Tim has only seen in Jason's eyes.

Tim tries to stand, to get between this infected Danny and the other two kids.

Danny walks right through him. His footsteps make no sound as he falls into the kids arms. They're screaming his name.

He's not breathing. They check his pulse, and he sees the beret kid start to cry.

The goth girl looks like she's about to start screaming for help when Danny glows white.

The light blinds him in an instant and when he's blinking the spots out of his eyes he sees Danny in their arms, hair once again dark, and still like a corpse.

Then the scene repeats.

He's on the other side of the room, they start to talk.

This time he sees the clock, way to high to be easy to see.

2pm sharp.

Not in school, so it might be the weekend. But wouldn't Danny's parents hear? Wouldn't anyone notice the definite electrical surge a portal like this opening would cause?

Summer break then, possibly. Less people, parents out running errands or at their job. A summer storm in another town could cause a surge as well.

The basement might be there work place, or it's a hobby, based on how unsafe the lab seems.

Tim knows he doesn't know much about Danny's previous life. Why he came to the Wayne's, why he screams at night, why he seems to act odd around Jason.

He feels wrong seeing this without Danny's permission, but untill he gets out of this loop he can't do anything about that.

This time he simply watches.

Watches as Danny steps into the hole that houses the portal.

Watches as Danny trips and tries to grab hold of the wall.

Watches as the whir of the internal system starts and the green engulfs Danny.

The pain hits him again and he can't think.

Cold, hot, too cold, too hot, freezing, frozen, going to die.

He drops and this time he sees Danny's silhouette floating amongst the green.

He watches as the hands finds it's way to the edge.and pulls him out.

Sees as Danny steps out but doesn't touch the ground.

He floats, not the way Kon does, with confidence and strength. He floats like he hates it, like he's struggling to keep his feet on the ground.

Tim watches the girl, she grimaces when she looks down to the logo she'd stuck to his chest. The black sticker inverted to white, clearly readable.

She feels guilty.

The boy is crying horribly, gripping Danny and trying to check every pulse point to see I anything changes.

When the white light hits, he knows to keep his eyes closed for the spike.

As he opens the he sees, this time, what he missed the first. He's breathing again. It's shallow and stilted but he IS breathing.

Again the scene starts over.

Transference

Dpxdc prompt #39

Deaths don't relive their deaths on their death anniversary.

No that would be too easy.

Instead, anyone who touches a ghost on their death day relives that ghost's death. Over and over again until the day passes.

Danny knows this of course, how could he possibly forget. Jazz tried to shake him awake on his very first anniversary. She went into a state of shock, not moving until the clock passed midnight at which point she started crying and hugging Danny like he'd dissappear the moment she let go.

It wasn't something he particularly wanted to happen again.

Ever.

Only problem is he forgot to inform his new family of this development and a quick head ruffle by an older brother quickly turns into a nightmare.

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Transference

Dpxdc prompt #39

Deaths don't relive their deaths on their death anniversary.

No that would be too easy.

Instead, anyone who touches a ghost on their death day relives that ghost's death. Over and over again until the day passes.

Danny knows this of course, how could he possibly forget. Jazz tried to shake him awake on his very first anniversary. She went into a state of shock, not moving until the clock passed midnight at which point she started crying and hugging Danny like he'd dissappear the moment she let go.

It wasn't something he particularly wanted to happen again.

Ever.

Only problem is he forgot to inform his new family of this development and a quick head ruffle by an older brother quickly turns into a nightmare.

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Summoning fix it

Danny accepted being Ghost King when he was 20. Why 20? Because at that point his human half was looking more fae than human. At least he got that growth spurt and reached 6 foot 5. But the pointed ears, catlike eyes that glowed, fangs, and glowing freckles along with his height made him stand out.

Sam and Tucker, the two most liminal humans up till that point, were only better in that their eyes only glowed when emotional and that they didn’t have freckles. The trio had decided that they were more infinite realm denizens than living and they moved in to Danny’s new castle.

Accepting the throne was chaos. Especially with the observants constantly trying to butt in after he cut their power. They tried many things to keep him busy, including trying to bury him in centuries of old paperwork. Unfortunately for them Danny was not going to put up with that.

He sent out a message looking for any ghosts whose obsession was being a secretary. And there were more than he expected. After screening he chose a few and let the rejected ones know that he would set something up to help them later, but first he needed to straighten things out.

During all this Danny ended up summoned. He was annoyed that any regular old joe could just summon him. He was the Ghost King! He had more important things to do (even if it was just playing video games) than answer every summon request at other people’s whims. There were a multitude of dimensions out there, who knew how often he could be summoned?!

The trio quickly got to work and created a summon circle that first, allowed him to send someone in his stead, and second, prevented forced summoning if he declined answering.

Calling on more ghosts, he found one that grants wishes, and unlike Desiree, has no horrible consequences as long as a price of equal payment is made. He then wished all summoning circles to summon the ghost king from the point in time of his ascension be switched with his new one.

After that, he assigned one of the secretaries to be the one to answer the summons. He made a list of things to outright decline, and if they were unsure they were to call him and ask.

That’s how the Justice League ended up finding out that there was a new Ghost King. Constantine was particularly annoyed when he realized the switch with the summoning instructions. Luckily they weren’t on such a time crunch that they didn’t have the time to get the new materials needed.

Upon completion of the summoning, a female humanoid in a professional suit floated, and spoke “I am Penny, secretary of Ghost King Phantom. What is the subject of your summons?”

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Ghost Jason and Timmy - definition of best friends

I think I made too many people cry in the previous post so something wholesome this time:))

Part 3 | Part 4 Ghost Jason series

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Meet Your Maker

dcxdp vague af fic idea

There are few recognized truths in this world (or the next) one is that ghosts can shape shift. The second is that the Joker thinks he's uniquely awful/crazy. The third is that Danny hates clowns. The final is that Danny is a ghost and the Joker is a clown.

Now, Danny is a Verified Little Shit (TM). and known for creating maximum mayhem whenever possible. And the Joker spends a LOT of time in Arkham Asylum.

As previously stated Ghosts can shape shift and one Danny Fenton nee Phantom is a ghost (at least some of the time).

So picture Danny, in Gotham. Bored. potentially friends with one Jason Todd. Becoming capital A Aware of the Joker and his crimes. but respecting Batman's No Killing rule. (and hesitant to reveal his powers). and just. ghosting (ha!) into the Jokers cell and shape shifting INTO the Joker to taunt him. now add in the fanfic trope that ghosts mess with tech. and now suddenly the Joker's just straight up hallucinating. Except. He's NOT. And only Danny himself knows that for a fact.

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

DP x DC Prompt.

Deadserious

.

>Danny had a problem. He thought he handled it well. He couldn't tell his civillian boyfriend of his half-dead status.

He definitely couldn't let him find out by being summoned by some culty wannabes who wanted to rule the world.

Easy solution: Volunteer to be the sacrifice, turn his eyes green, and act like a Royal prick and powerful being. Get rescued by one of Gothams 50 vigilantes. And claim no memory.

Boom, secret identity underwraps.

He didn't expect everyone to treat him so fragile after.

>

Damian also had a problem. That problem, being his civilian boyfriend, was obviously possessed by a spirit of the ghastly ghost king and was utterly clueless about it.

And it was all his fault.

Danny Fenton was the next June Moore/ Enchantress. Except he was hosting one of the most powerful beings in the universe.

And that lovable idiot had no damn idea about it.

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

DCXDP - Danny is a flerken, this causes Dick a lot of concern

Dick doesn't like Damian's new cat, or everyone thinks it's a cat, at least. It's kinda big for the size of a regular house cat, and it's whole body is like a weird trippy illusion; black with blue eyes one moment, white with green the next.

Damian claims he just picked it up off the street, and he's overall utterly unperturbed with the cat. According to him the thing was probably some sort of escaped lab experiment, and he is determined to figure out who was testing so inhumanely on animals. May God have mercy on their souls when that boy reaches them.

No one in the family quite likes the cat, except Damian, obviously.

The animal just has a way of sneaking into where it's not supposed to. It's always watching. Always just around the corner. Always at the exact place you don't want it to be at that exact moment.

Tim in particular is very annoyed by the cat. He likes to sit on Tim's paperwork, press buttons on his computer, and stick his face in Tim's coffee. The cat actively makes Tim's life harder whenever it gets the chance. Damian finds this to be the best form of comedy, because he is a little menace(lovingly).

Dick thinks he has it the worst with the cat overall though. Why? Because no one believes him about this stupid animal. Sure, they all agree that the cat is fucking weird, at the very least it's more sapient than a cat should be, but that's as far as they take it.

Not Dick.

Dick managed to sneak up on it once, and only once, and has never even attempted again. He just wanted to get back at the creature after it spent all day tripping him as he walked down the halls. It was harmless! Honestly, he just expected the cat to jump, maybe hiss, and skitter away for the rest of the day.

Instead the cat whirled around and opened its jaw so wide Dick swears its chin began to grace the floor, and then glowing green tentacles came out! They latched around his arms, covered his nose and mouth, and began to pull him into the tooth filled abyss of its jaws.

He felt the life in him leave before he was even half way pulled in. The fight slowly began to drain out of him, and the room was getting so so cold. Dick really thought this was how he was going to die, via his baby brother's freaky ass cat.

And then Damian's voice rang out, sharp and firm, simply calling the name of his cat lovingly dubbed "Phantom". The name Dick gave him, actually, because the cat travelled around the house like a ghost. Damian is the one who decided the name ghost was too childish, and thus, Phantom came about.

Damian arrived to him laying on the floor, Phantom on top of his chest purring away, as if the thing didn't try to consume him mere moments ago.

"Lying on the floor is quite unbecoming of you, Richard. However, since you are bonding with Phantom, I will let it slide."

And then Damian picked up the cat, tucked it into his chest, and walked back to where he came from.

When talking to Damian about the event later, he just looked at him like he was stupid. Tim said the cameras had shorted out (something that had been happening a lot recently), and he had no clue what Dick was talking about. Bruce and Alfred both advised him to seek mental help, believing him to be stress hallucinating. He didn't even bother telling the others.

So yeah, Dick doesn't like Damian's cat monster. He doesn't want to hurt his baby brother's feelings, but it can't stay.

Will be reblogging with more, eventually, other people's additions are VERY welcome

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

ecto-kittens!

— Let me be happy :з

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

people who don’t wear glasses will never understand the absolute humiliation of dropping your glasses under your bed or in a dark area and feeling around on all fours muttering “my glasses…. where are my glasses” like fucking Velma Dinkley and thinking to yourself BOY WOULD THIS BE A LOT EASIER IF I COUKD FUCKING SEE

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

im always suuuuper chill when i see that service unavailable page

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

The funniest thing about Jason’s “no dealing to kids” rule is that generally the age threshold for weed and other hard substances is 21, and Jason did his whole insane plot at nineteen. Meaning, he technically falls into the category of “off limits”