#like first of all that's what i'm here for. second of all he's literally the new unicorn.

[eclipseberrycake]

The Finer Things (Dandy x Reader)

AN: A request :DDD I'll be honest I've kinda been painting Dandy as the lowkey villain in my MoonBerryCake fics and yk what? He's actually morally gray in my world :) So this is super exciting nfog

☁ A fic? By Roo? That's not MBC? I know. Crazy. I love it though.

☁ So, Dandy is an interesting character because the fandom seems very split on how they view him. For example, one half views him as just this fun toon guy who happens to be the main character and sells you things while the other half thinks he's literally the Devil.

☁...From the bible. /ref

☁ Anyway. If you read my The world behind the Frames or whatever I named it, (No pressure I swear!) Dandy was the first infected in my world.

☁ That's because my personal headcanon is that because he was the first toon made, he was much easier to infect and Patient Zero to a degree. The difference between him and the other twisteds is that he found a way to control. To make the twisted ichor bend to his will.

☁ Hence the tapes. He needs them. He, like Sprout and Teagan, can harness the magical element the tapes wield and redirect them. While the other two use it for healing, he uses it to kind of keep the beast at bay until he deems it necessary to come out.

☁ Which he's sure you've clued into by now.

☁ You're a regular survivalist toon. Not quite remarkable by any means, but you're always the first at his counter and the last to leave it before he goes.

☁ You offer him a smile every time he pops up, even if he knows the things on his table are sub-optimal.

☁ But that's not what strikes Dandy. No.

☁ Without fail, you buy something every single time he's there.

☁ Even if it's something like those silly gumballs, you're handing over the tapes happily even if your prize is quickly discarded. He's sure for a second you know.

☁You know that he's the monster that started this all and are simply trying to appease him. If that's the case, it's working. Even while prepping to pop up through the elevator he finds himself smiling, fluffing the pillows in front of him at the thought of seeing your shiny face.

☁ Or...Alternatively, there's some other reason. Some other reason that has you coming back, over and over again, that Teacup's trinket clipped to your neckline. He wonders if you have it for no other reason than to always have the tapes needed to buy something from him.

☁ He's unsure and can't make heads or tails of it, truly.

☁ So when he pops up, and you're there he waits until the others are grumbling their disappoint to strike up a conversation. He needs to know. What makes you tick. What's your agenda here? Are you hoping to get under his skin? To learn the secrets of this place? Is that it? Or are you simply a naive, terrified toon, all too aware of what happens when he gets...testy? Is this all a method of self-preservation.

☁ You pick up a can of pop, already rooting through your wallet for the needed tapes, even if he can see two other cans of pops on your person, which makes him raise a brow.

☁ "Planning on playing distractor?" He smooths over his facial features with the smooth line, making you almost startle at the question. Your fuzzy cheeks flush as you laugh uncomfortably at the question.

☁ So maybe you are scared of him.

☁ "Oh, no, i could never. I'm not built for that sort of thing, really." You avoid looking at him as you slid the pop into your bag.

☁ "Then why waste the tapes? Who knows what may come up in the future?" He needs to know. Absolutely needs to. It itches under his petals and pulls at his tail, which whips behind him. The question makes you flush further, if possible, you're hands now moving to fiddle in front of you.

☁ "I see how you appreciate the tapes. I'm not really an extractor or distractor nor do I have any remarkable powers." You were able to teleport a few feet in front of you, like that mirror; unlike him however, you didn't need to target a toon, but the distance you went was much, much shorter. He had analyzed this quite extensively. "But seeing your reaction to get the tapes? It's nice to...To help someone at least."

☁ Then you smile. You smile at him like he's worthy of such an action.

☁ It makes him stagger for a second as his time rings up, the elevator pulling him down as he watches you turn to the elevator entrance.

☁ Huh. You did it...for him? Dandicus? What an odd toon you were.

☁ The next time he pops up is an entirely new run. The last one was cut short as the distractor got injured and they had gotten what they needed anyway.

☁ You were on this run as well, making him grin. "If it isn't one of my most loyal customers? How are you?"

☁ "I'm okay. Yourself?" You grab at the bar of chocolate he has laid out, already passing over the tapes before he's holding out a hand.

☁ Before he can even stop himself, he's reaching grabbing an entire box of chocolates and passing it over. "No additional charge." He winks, making your cheeks give that pretty flush once again.

☁ By the time your stammering over both thanks and refusals, he's sinking back beneath the floor and looking at the few tapes in his hand. That box was worth at least 80 tapes and he got maybe twenty.

☁ But in the same vein, it was for you. And it was most likely a one off, so who's to really care anyway.

☁ That's what he tells himself anyway, going about dragging the mystic energy from the tapes to ease the urge to shift.

☁ It was not a one off.

☁ Not by a long shot.

☁ Every time he saw you he just wanted to better you're experience! He couldn't save you the experience entirely, but he could ease the burden on you as much as possible.

☁ When you were injured, sure the others got bandages, but you? A medkit was slipped your way even as you tried refusing it. It could go to one of the healers after all! Or so you would say.

☁ He'd roll his eyes and wave off said healers, Sprout shooting him a glare as he worked on healing one of the distractors (wink wink nudge nudge).

☁ You were far more worthy in Dandy's humble, correct opinion.

☁ When he noticed you were fatigued and exhausted, the others would get cans of pop and maybe a chocolate bar while he had bottles ready for you and boxes of all sorts of candy.

☁ Again, you would try to refuse, exhausting the point that Astro couldn't save your distractor every time but honestly, your distractor should be better prepared at this point anyway.

☁ Bobette wasn't even that scary in his opinon.

☁ He wouldn't charge you anything for them either. Even if it stung along his flesh, whenever asked, he'd shake his head and refuse adamantly.

☁ Only for you to throw them down the chute anyway when he was too far to throw them back. Like the sneaky minx you were.

☁ It made his heart absolutely hum.

☁ It's a shame the others were catching onto this habit of his, truly. Sending him sharp glares every time he pulled a magic item out of wherever he kept them.

☁ The first one to say anything, surprisingly enough, or not based on circumstances, was Vee. She had stomped up to his counter, practically fuming as he gave her a bored look. How dare she interrupt his miniscule time with you?

☁ "Dude, our healers are at their wits end and our distractors on the verge of turning. What the hell?!" She screeched, robotic voice ringing just a bit.

☁ He scoffed at her, even if he kept the smile on his face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

☁ "You can't be serious." Sprout seethed from behind her, his own tapes drained as he cradled the cake roll to his chest. "You've been giving heals to your little partner there this entire time! What about the person who's been protecting them, huh?" His head jutted to where Astro was sitting on the ground, the distractor he's seen practically attached to the hip with any three of them in his lap, heaving and stained black with ichor.

☁ Dandy shrugged. "Better luck next time."

☁ You were quickly stammering an assortment of refusals of being his partner and truly 'the gifts didn't mean anything!', saying you'd be more than happy to share. The thought made Dandy shoot you a sharp look, making you swallow your next words.

☁ "Oh, my dear rose, those toons aren't worthy, I assure you." He waves off their shouts once more, giving you a sacchrine grin. "I do hope to see you soon. Maybe then we can have a talk about you're denseness."

☁ Those were the final words he said as he descending, grinning to himself at the chaos unleashed above.

☁ Oh, you sweet thing. Soon you'd figure it out. Even if your naivety was half your charm.

[sunsetsover]

anyway so i literally cannot stop thinking about that fucking exchange on the swing. the way they're both laid so bare with neither of their secrets still stuck between them - not kant's, and not bison's either. and there's bison, with none of his bravado or anger left, just all small and quiet and docile between kant's arms. and there's kant holding him and sniffing him and stroking his hair and kissing his head because this is all he wanted, what he didn't dare to want yet somehow he's got it anyway, and there's just this very subtle feeling of him not quite being able to believe it, like he thinks maybe if he stops touching bison he'll disappear or kant will wake up and it'll all be over. like he has to soak it all in now before it gets taken away from him again. whereas bison looks like he could fall asleep at any moment because he knows now what he always knew, even when he thought kant was a snitch: there's nowhere safer for him to sleep than with kant at his side.

and then there's the conversation that they have, the first real one they ever get to have. and it tells us so much, but it almost feels like there's two conversations going on at once: what they're saying and what's being left unsaid. kant telling bison he's surprised bison is capable of hurting anyone. and bison's answer is 'grudges will make you do something you never expect you could', but what he's not saying is neither did i. and he says after he does it he has to get out, get away, do something fun to forget about it. and what he's not saying is i don't like it. and kant asks him if he plans on living like this, and he makes a joke about how it's exhausting living two lives, but what he's not saying is i'm worried about you. he says 'you can quit and start over' and what he's not saying is i will help you. we can do this together. i love you.

and then just. the vulnerability of bison to be like. 'i can't quit. this is the reality of what i do. i don't get a normal life. i don't get a happy ending. i don't get to settle down. i don't even get to keep my big brother. i don't get a home or a family or a lover. i'll always be running and hiding.' and the unspoken question is there: is that ok? will that be enough for you? would you still want me anyway, even if our entire lives will be one sacrifice after another?

but god, isn't kant made of sacrifice? isn't sacrifice how kant loves? so without even a second of hesitation kant says 'you have me.' and what he's really saying is i'm right here. i'm not going anywhere. you can't scare me off.

and you know what's crazy? with fadel all bison talks about is quitting, getting away, living his life. he wants it desperately but there's also something recklessly eager about it, like everything he'd done up until now would just disappear. but with kant it's always 'i can't, i promised, how can i?'. his responsibilities are always there with kant, as is the reality of what he is, what he would have to do, how he would have to live. but in that moment he finally says ok. well if i were to quit, this is how it would have to be. i'd have to hide forever, on this island away from the rest of the world. this is what it would be like. ok. ok. and then somehow, somehow he manages to be even more vulnerable when he's like kant. if i were to quit, would you move here with me? and underneath that, what he's really saying is this is all i have. is this enough? could i be enough?

and kant huffs and he pretends he has to think about it, but of course. of course he'd live here with bison. he'd go anywhere with bison. and it's a full sentence. nothing left unsaid.

but bison! bison never forgets his reality for too long, so of course he's like 'well what about babe?' and he's right of course, but can't you feel it? how desperately he's trying to scare kant off? to give him an out, a reason to doubt, to waver? but kant doesn't. he's steadfast. after a lifetime of 'no's he's been given his first 'yes', you really think a little thing like an island surrounded by ocean is gonna scare him off? god no. so he gives him the truth: once babe graduates, he'll be off to live his own life and it'll be time for kant to finally live his own. after a lifetime of living for babe, he'll live for something new. he'll live for bison. and i've seen people like 'no, he should live for himself!' which yeah i get it. but don't forget that this is kant's choice. after god knows how many years of never being able to chose what to do with his own life, he finally has a choice. and he's choosing bison. to love him. to sacrifice - not out of necessity for once, but by choice. because he can. because he wants to. because he loves bison, and wherever bison goes he'll follow.

and it's just. there were so many words said in that scene and so many kisses shared but honestly to me it all boiled down to this feeling of bison posing all these questions and throwing all these half-hearted obstacles in kant's way and asking still? still? you love me still? and kant's unwavering answer of yes, yes, yes, always.

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 7

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6)

Hi y'all, this is the longest one yet. Don't ask me how much sleep I've been getting. And don't ask me about how my uni assignments are going. Or the studying for any exams. You don't wanna know.

ENJOY <3

Disclaimer: I just want to remind everyone that I am not a Thai native speaker and also in no way fluent yet (I'm roughly at B1/B2 level). There is a whoooole lot of language stuff in this meta and I didn't double check every single thing with native speakers because I didn't wanna overwhelm anyone with the number of questions, even though I already split my questions between three different people. That's how much language stuff I've packed in here this time. Oops. (There may be mistakes. I'm open to corrections.)

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise.

To recap: When we last left Style he was absolutely stoked to have his boyfriend back. Fadel even confessed his love to Style, and while Fadel was acting a little weird, things were mostly all good, right? Nothing to worry about, thinks Style...

No. 1: How to Clean Your Boyfriend's Face

We start the episode with Style actually doing his (real) job for once, which is nice for a change, because I don't think we saw him actually working on a car ever since he started flirting with Fadel. However, he gets abruptly interrupted in his work when Fadel suddenly pulls him out from underneath the car with no warning and attacks him with a shower of kisses. Style is very amused about it, but it's not the right time or place for something like this and so he complains, reminding Fadel that Style's father could show up. Fadel asks him if Style is scared and personally, I don't think it's that Style is scared. I think it's more about how off-guard Fadel caught him, Style wasn't mentally prepared for a sudden kiss shower/potential make-out session from one second to the next. And also, Style knows his dad is out and could return at any moment and let's be real... This would be a very awkward situation to have your parent walk in on you, for both you and your parent.

But Fadel doesn't care and continues to shower Style in kisses anyway. Since the message didn't reach Fadel the first time or Fadel is deliberately ignoring the message, Style tries again, now explicitly asking Fadel if this was the time for kissing (I know in the subs it's a statement but in Thai he actually phrases it like a question). Instead of answering, Fadel goes into an explanation about the difference between a kiss and a peck which ends in a demonstration of what a kiss really is. Style is still very amused and even laughs, but he's getting more suspicious by the minute. He pushes Fadel away again and starts questioning him: "Why are you here?"

Now, this isn't literally what he's saying in Thai, but I can see why it would have been translated that way, because I, too, am struggling to find a way to make the literal translation sound smooth and natural in English. Plus, the second part of what he's saying can be taken a few different ways:

นี่มึงมาหากูอ่ะ มีอะไรหรือเปล่ว [nîi - mueng - maa hăa - guu - àh • mii - à-rai - rĕu bplào] [interjection] - you - come visit - me - [particle] • there is - something, anything - or not

Now, the literal translation of the first part is pretty straight forward, it's just "you came to visit me". The second part is slightly more complicated because the literal translation is "Do you have anything?" or "Do you have something?" which doesn't really make any sense in English. This phrase means something along the lines of:

What's up?/Is something up?/Is anything up?

Is there a problem?

Is something on your mind?

What's the matter?

Is something wrong?

Basically, the sentiment here is something along the lines of: "The reason why you came by, is there anything going on?" (Funnily enough I find this a lot easier to translate into German: "Dass du zu mir gekommen bist, gibt's denn was?")

Point is, Style isn't just asking "Why are you here?" because he's surprised and wants to know the reason, but he is specifically asking if there's anything up, because he can tell there is something off about Fadel's behavior and that there's got to be a reason for it. And when he says "You could have let me know you were coming", in Thai this is also phrased like a question:

Why didn't you let me know first? ทำไมไม่ทักมาก่อนอ่ะ [tam-mai - mâi - ták maa - gòn - àh] why - not - speak to - first - [particle]

Again, Fadel doesn't really answer any of Style's questions and just comes up with a counter question: "We’re dating. Can’t I just pop by and see you?" Style is still very amused about this and the way he looks at Fadel is full of love and affection. However, as much as Style appreciates the sweetness, it's very out of character and that has him even more skeptical now: "What is this? You’re being weirdly nice. What’s with you?" By the way, when Style says "nice", the word he uses in Thai is หวาน [wăan], which translates to "sweet". Style is explicitly calling out Fadel's odd overly clingy behavior.

And again, Fadel deflects Style's inquiries about what is going on with him, this time with a complaint: "You don’t like me being nice. You complain when I’m cold. What do you even want?"

I'm just gonna share the literal translation with you, even though it doesn't really make much of a difference (except for Fadel also saying "sweet" instead of "nice") simply just because I found it amusing:

When I'm sweet, you don't like it. ตอนกูหวานมึงก็ไม่ชอบ [dton - guu - wăan - mueng - gôr - mâi - chôp] when - I - sweet - you - [sentence link] - not - like When I'm hostile, you still scold me. ตอนกูโหดมึงก็ด่ากู [dton - guu - hòht - mueng - gôr - dàa - guu] when - I - aggressive - you - [sentence link] - scold - me How exactly do you like it? มึงชอบแบบไหนกันแน่เนี่ย [mueng - chôp - bàep năi - gan nâe - nîia] you - like - which way - exactly - [particle]

I just find it amusing that Fadel complains about Style scolding him, when Fadel has spent the first few episodes doing nothing but scold and yell at Style himself.

Anyway, Fadel turns it around on Style and Style is quick to conciliate him ("I’m just not used to you like this.") and then explicitly tells Fadel that he is being out of character ("You don’t sound like you, you know?"). And let me just share a literal translation with you, for funsies:

I'm just not used to the tone of your voice right now. กูแค่ไม่ชินกับน้ำเสียงมึงตอนเนี่ย [guu - kâe - mâi - chin gàp - náam-sĭiang mueng - dton - nîia] I - just - not - used to - your tone of voice - (right) now - [particle] You don't seem like you at all, you know? ดูไม่เป็นมึงเลยรู้วะ [duu - mâi - bpen - mueng - loiie - rúu - wá] seem, look - not - be - you - [particle for emphasis] - know - [particle]

Fun fact: the word that is used to say "seem like" is ดู [duu], which also means "to look". That is to say, the sentence could also give a feeling of "it looks like it's not you at all" or "you don't look like you at all".

Fadel doesn't sound like himself in the way he speaks, and Fadel doesn't seem ("look") like himself in the way he behaves. Something is wrong with the Fadel that Style knows and loves, and Style can very much tell. So he keeps pulling back, keeps refusing to accept Fadel's affection and kisses until he's gotten to the bottom of what is going on. But Fadel hits him with a (seemingly) romantic line: "Don’t you ever think that I’m only like this because of you?" This has Style smile. After all, Fadel isn't exactly wrong about this. Fadel has indeed changed through Style's influence since their first meeting. It's the most sincere thing Fadel has said in this entire conversation so far. Style looks at Fadel fondly and finally lets him kiss him without a protest. And that, of course, is the exact moment Style's dad has to arrive home. Our lovebirds ended up being walked in on by a parent after all. How awkward.

Fadel quickly jumps to his feet and Style sits up. After a short banter between Style and his dad, Style's dad turns to Fadel and asks: "You’re here so late. Where are you guys going?"

And again, I wanna share a more literal translation of the ensuing conversation:

Dad: Where are you inviting him to go to? จะชวนไปไหนกัน [jà - chuuan - bpai - năi - gan] will - invite - go - where - together Official subs: Where are you guys going? Fadel: I'm not inviting him anywhere. I was gonna come to ask to spend the night. ไม่ได้ชวนไปไหนครับ จะมาขอนอนค้าง [mâi dâai - chuuan - bpai - năi - kráp • jà - maa - kŏh - nawn káang] not - invite - go - anywhere - [krub] • will - come - ask for - spend the night Official subs: We’re not going anywhere. I’m just staying over.

It doesn't really make much of a difference here, but I find it interesting how just a little bit of rephrasing to "I'm just staying over" makes it sound like Fadel had already decided and was set on it (which to be fair he probably was anyway) while in Thai that decision is less straight foreward, because he says he wanted to ask to spend the night (he's not just barging in, but asks for permission first. Although, let's be real, I'm sure if Style had said no, Fadel would have done his best to talk Style into letting him stay over anyway. That is, if he had even planned on spending the night at Style's in the first place or if he just said that to appease Style's dad, considering Fadel didn't even seem to bring his own PJs for a sleepover).

Anyway, Fadel wanting to spend the night is news to Style. He looks at Fadel with question marks all over his face. This isn't helping in making Fadel's behavior seem any less odd.

Style's dad is cool with Fadel staying over, but wants to have a chat with him under the guise of Fadel helping him. Once the dad has walked off, Style starts questioning Fadel again: "Hey. Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to stay over?" Fadel crouches down, takes Style's head in his hands and says: "It’s only normal for boyfriends to cuddle to sleep, right?" Style smiles at him and while there is so much adoration in his expression, he is also not at all convinced or reassured.

Style goes uncharacteristically quiet and almost kind of passive after Fadel crouches down, as if he's letting Fadel's touches and kisses just sort of happen to him. Style clearly has a bad feeling about this. He doesn't even keep the smile up until Fadel has walked away, instead his smile falls the moment Fadel has turned his back to him.

Something is very much not right about any of what just happened with Fadel and Style knows it:

Side quest: Protective Dad

Okay, so by now you're probably well aware of the fact that for this meta series I only look at scenes featuring Style. However, I do wanna take a quick dip into the scene between Fadel and Style's dad, because it confirms what I said in my ep6 meta when I went into why I think Style's dad asked Fadel whether Fadel was Style's one-time thing or if he was taking Style seriously:

[I]t's more [Style's dad] being a bit of a protective dad who wants to make sure the people his son keeps company with aren't gonna cause heartbreak to his son.

And it already shows in the scene when Style's dad walks in on them kissing. I actually shared this specific literal translation for a reason:

Dad: Where are you inviting him to go to? Fadel: I'm not inviting him anywhere. I was gonna come to ask to spend the night. Official translation: Dad: Where are you guys going? Fadel: We’re not going anywhere. I’m just staying over.

What is happening in Thai is that Style's dad is addressing only Fadel with his question. Where are you taking my son? What are you gonna be doing with my son? What are your plans with my son?

Style's dad trusts his own son, but Fadel is a stranger to him and so he needs to make sure his son will be safe in Fadel's hands. After all Style's dad and Style only have each other now. And we've already heard from Style how important they are to each other. And when Fadel lets dad know they're staying in, dad is relieved: "That’s good. Stay over so I don’t have to worry."

After that, he immediately pulls Fadel aside to question him some more away from his son: "So I take it you’re serious about him, then?"

I wanna share some of the ensuing conversation with a more literal translation again:

Fadel: Serious in what way? จริงจังแบบไหนครับ [jing jang - bàep năi - kráp] serious - how, in what way - [krub] Official subs: What do you mean? Dad: Well, serious as in calling it dating. (lit.: "calling it being each other's faen") ก็จริงจังแบบที่เรียกว่าเป็นแฟนกันน่ะ [gôr - jing jang - bàep - têe - rîiak wâa - bpen faen gan - nâ] well - serious - like - that - be called - dating - [particle] Official subs: You’re really dating him, aren’t you? My son isn't imagining it, right? ลูกกูไม่ได้คิดไปเองใช่ไหม [lûuk guu - mâi dâai - kít bpai eng - châi măi] my son - not - imagining/thinking by oneself - right? Official subs: He’s not being led on, is he?

I wanted to share this mostly because of the last sentence. Usually, Style's dad uses the rude pronouns guu/mueng when talking to Style (he does with Fadel, too) and so he also uses the rude pronoun man when referring to him in 3rd person in this conversation with Fadel. But in the last sentence he refers to Style as "my son" specifically, which I adore. That's his son! Style is his son! And he doesn't want to see his son get hurt because the guy he's with was just playing him and it was all just one-sided on Style's part in the end.

Fadel says he's not leading Style on. Style's dad is a bit relieved and shares that he was worried since Style was the one who hit on Fadel first. Now this is a very interesting, because that feeds right into the discussions from after episode 3 dropped about Style preferring to be pursued rather than doing the pursuing himself which I also address in my ep3 meta.

Anyway, Style's dad says that he won't have to worry anymore and then continues to say:

I don't know what the world of two men together is like, กูก็ไม่รู้หรอก��ะว่าโลกของผู้ชายกับผู้ชายมันเป็นยังไง [guu - gôr - mâi - róo - ròk - ná - wâa - lôhk - kŏng - pûu-chaai - gàp pûu-chaai - man - bpen - yang-ngai] I - not - know - [particle] - [particle] - that - world - of - man - with, and - man - it - is - how Official subs: I don’t know anything about dating boys, but if you like him, then like him for a long time. แต่ถ้ามึงชอบมันอ่ะก็ชอบมันให้นานๆ [dtàe - tâa - mueng - chôp - man - àh • gôr - chôp - man - hâi naan naan] but - if - you - like - him - [particle] - then - like - him - for a long time Official subs: but if you’re gonna date him, I hope it’s steady.

There is no deeper reason behind me sharing this except that it amuses me that the dad phrases gay dating as "the world of a man with a man" and that I think somehow the dad asking Fadel to like Style for a long time sounds almost sweeter to me than the word "steady". I don't know, maybe the word "steady" simply just sounds kinda weird to my ESL brain. And I like how phrasing it as "like him for a long time" makes liking Style something that Fadel actively does. Fadel is an active participant in this relationship, this relationship is not something that kind of just is. Fadel can actively influence how the relationship is gonna go and how it will affect the well-being of dad's son. It's almost like a task that Style's dad is giving him.

Style's dad closes with "My son may talk big and annoy people, but when he loves, he does with his whole heart. Just like his old man does." And we know dad is speaking the truth when he says Style loves with all his heart. Episodes 5 and 6 are proof of that. (Btw, the literal translation from Thai actually sounds less poetic in English: he says that when Style loves someone, he "truly loves them". I can't speak for the connotations in Thai, though, because I didn't ask anyone about it. Maybe it sounds more poetic in Thai.)

Anyway, I just adore this scene, because in episode 1 and episode 4 we already got some glimpses into the dynamic Style has with his dad and in episode 5 Style revealed just how important his dad was to him. And now in episode 7 we get to see dad's side of it as well. He is so very protective over his son and he will let Fadel know. In fact, so far in every single scene in which Style's dad and Fadel have interacted, Style's dad has made it very clear to Fadel that he is worried about Fadel's intentions with his son. Honestly, the fact that Style's dad is so adamant about this makes me wonder if maybe he's had to watch his son get his heart broken before and doesn't want a repeat of that. Either way, I just adore this father-son relationship and I hope Style's dad will make it out of this story okay (no one dies in a romcom, right? 🥺). And I hope he adopts Fadel in the end.

No. 2: Scent Addict

Just as a quick reminder, we left Style sitting on his cart on the floor of the garage looking very concerned and very confused, clearly suspicious of Fadel and uncharacteristically quiet. Now we come back to Style sitting on his bed on the floor, watching his boyfriend make a big show of sniffing his shirt (shout out to the costume department for using the chance to put Joong in a crop top! They're the real MVPs). Fadel compliments Style's smell and Style is not impressed. In fact, Style immediately calls Fadel out for being weird again: "I think something’s wrong with you. It’s not like you to talk so sweet." Or in it's more literal wording:

I think you're unwell. กูว่ามึงไม่สบายแล้วนะ [guu - wâa - mueng - mâi sà-baai - láew - ná] I - think - you - ill, unwell - already, now - [na] It really doesn't seem like you to be so sickly sweet. มึงหวานเลี่ยนแบบเนี้ยดูไม่ใช่มึงเลย [mueng - wăan lîian - bàep níia - duu - mâi châi - mueng - loiie] you - overly sweet - like this - seem, look - not - you - [particle for emphasis]

I mainly wanted to share this, because in the second sentence he uses almost the exact same wording like earlier on the garage floor when he said that Fadel didn't seem like himself:

ดูไม่เป็นมึงเลยรู้วะ [duu - mâi - bpen - mueng - loiie - rúu - wá] seem, look - not - be - you - [particle for emphasis] - know - [particle]

Compared with what he says now:

มึงหวานเลี่ยนแบบเนี้ยดูไม่ใช่มึงเลย [mueng - wăan lîian - bàep níia - duu - mâi châi - mueng - loiie] you - overly sweet - like this - seem, look - not - you - [particle for emphasis]

Again, the image Style is being presented of Fadel doesn't look like the image of Fadel that he knows and loves. Fadel laughs, says he's fine and sits down on the bed next to Style. Back in the garage, Fadel responded with "Don’t you ever think that I’m only like this because of you?" which was a truth so sufficiently sincere that it satisfied Style enough to the point to let Fadel kiss him without a protest, completely oblivious to the fact that Fadel didn't necessarily mean this truth in the way Style thought he meant it. Now in Style's room, Fadel's response to Style's accusation of not seeming like himself is similar to the one on the garage floor: "Meeting you has brought out a different side in me, is all. Didn’t you notice? I’m happier. I smile more." Again, Fadel goes for the truth. We know it's the truth because we've watched Fadel smile and laugh and just be happy whenever he was around Style ever since their conversation by the car in episode 4 that led to a change in their relationship status. We know this, and Style knows it, too. There is no need to be suspicious about this, what Fadel said makes complete sense. Style agrees: "You’re right. You were like a vicious dog before this. You even beat me up. I should get the credits for bringing out this sweet side in you."

Fun fact, Style actually doesn't want the credits himself but wants to give them to his charm specially instead:

I have to give credits to my charm for being able to pull this extreme sweetness out of you. นี่กูต้องให้เครดิตเสน่ห์กูนะ ที่ดึงความหวานเลี่ยนออกจากตัวมึงได้อ่ะ [nîi - guu - dtông - hâi - kreh-dìt - sà-nèh guu - ná • tîi - deung - kwaam wăan lîian - òk - jàak - dtuua meung - dâai - àh] [interjection] - I - have to - give - credits - my charm - [particle] • that - pull, draw - overly sweet sweetness - out - from - your body - be able to - [particle]

Fadel laughs and throws his arms around Style, resting his chin on Style's upper arm. But Style feels stinky after having worked on a car and really doesn't want to be hugged right now because it's kinda gross. Fadel doesn't care, though, and just starts smelling Style on purpose. In Fadel's opinion, Style doesn't smell bad. In fact, Fadel likes Style's smell. Or at least that's what Fadel claims, because Style just can't imagine it to be true. He jokes that Fadel must really be unwell if he likes the smell of gasoline. Style informs Fadel that you can get addicted to that and Fadel responds that he thinks he's already addicted, then. Style smiles fondly. Fadel says he hella likes it to the point that no doctor anywhere can cure it:

I like it very much. โคตรชอบเลย [kôht chôp loiie] extremely, very much - like - [particle for emphasis] Like this, no doctor anywhere can cure it. แบบเนี่ย หมอที่ไหนก็รักษาไม่ได้ [bàep nîia • mŏh - têe năi - gôh - rák-săa - mâi - dâai] like this • doctor - anywhere, somewhere - [sentence link] - cure, treat - not - be able do

What I love about this whole bit is that Style keeps complaining and keeps questioning Fadel's sense of smell, but he still lets Fadel hug him and smell him without trying to shake him off in any way. And ultimately, he is also charmed that Fadel is still so into him, even when he himself feels so dirty and smelly and gross:

(↑ This is Style's face in reaction to Fadel saying he's addicted to the smell of gasoline aka Style's smell, btw. Look at him smiling and leaning closer. This absolutely worked on him.)

Now, the question that we, the audience, get to ask ourselves is just how much of what Fadel is saying and doing here is for show and how much of this is genuine on Fadel's part. Personally, I do think all of the kisses and his opinions on Style's smell come from a genuine place and Fadel just takes what's already there and plays it up a lot more than he usually would. It's both genuine and ingenuine at the same time. In a way, it's also almost as if he's also trying to use the opportunity to get as much out of it for himself as well while he still can. In any case, from the moment he sat down on the bed, Fadel is definitely being more genuine and sincere than compared to earlier at the garage. And Style also reacts to Fadel's behavior differently. In the garage he kept trying to push Fadel away, kept asking him question to get to the bottom of things. But now, especially after Fadel has truthfully pointed out how he's gotten happier and has started smiling more because of Style, Style lets Fadel get closer again. Style still looks confused and skeptical when Fadel hugs him, and while he does lean away from Fadel a little when Fadel gets close, he doesn't try to push him off immediately. It takes over half a minute before he finally wiggles in Fadel's arms and insists on showering for the first time. And when Fadel then just continues to shower him with kisses, Style doesn't try to push him away like he did in the garage, nor does he try to get his own body away from Fadel in any way. He doesn't even try to wiggle his way out again when he repeats that he's gonna take a shower. What's more, back in the garage, Style also kept asking Fadel questions to find out what the hell had suddenly gotten into him, but now, even though it definitely registers that Fadel is clingier than usual, Style is still reassured enough to go along with it and to have flirty banter about being addicted to the smell of gasoline instead of interrogating Fadel about his behavior. Style isn't really pushing Fadel away this time, but goes along with it, not just in letting Fadel shower him with kisses for a significant amount of time or in taking part in the flirty banter, but also later in complying when Fadel asks for kisses. Style even leans a little closer to Fadel when he asks "Happy now?" after obeying to Fadel's wish. And of course Style is still weirded out about Fadel's uncharacteristically clingy behavior, but I think when they're sitting on the bed it's happening more on a subconscious level and his main concern really is that he is gross and stinky and just wants to go get cleaned up already.

And so he tells Fadel just that. That he'll go take a shower. But instead of letting Style go, Fadel just goes back to sniff kissing Style's arm. Style tries again. Fadel stares at him for a moment, then points at both of his own cheeks. Fine. If that is the price Style has to pay for Fadel letting him go take a shower, Style will gladly pay it in full. Style makes sure Fadel is completely satisfied now, even dropping a "krub" on him:

Happy? You happy, krub? พอใจมั้ย พอใจมั้ยครับ [poh-jai - mái • poh-jai - mái - kráp] be satisfied, content, pleased - ? • be satisfied, content, pleased - ? - [krub]

(German speakers: พอใจ [poh-jai]​ has the same vibe as "zufrieden" to me.)

Fadel finally releases him and Style gets up. But he doesn't get very far before Fadel catches his hand and holds him back. Style turns back around, laughs, and is affectionately annoyed. There really does seem to be something going on with Fadel and Style directly calls him out, questioning him again:

Why are you being so cutesy today? ทำไมวันนี้อ้อนจังเลยอ่ะ [tam-mai - wan-níi - ôhn - jang loiie - àh] why - today - cutesy - so much - [particle] Official subs: You're so weird today.

The word that Style uses here that I phrased as "cutesy" is อ้อน [ôn] which was explained to me as acting a certain cutesy way because you want something from the other person (which can also be something like simply just wanting affection). In the words of my friend, the mood this word conveys is basically "a cat rubbing up against you". And it makes sense for Style to call out Fadel for being so overly clingy and affectionate when Fadel has never really been that way with him before.

To Style's surprise, instead of being more clingy and affectionate (or asking to join Style in the shower, which I personally was expecting to happen), Fadel asks him on a date the next day. Fadel then reveals that it'll be Bison's birthday and Style wants to buy him a present, but Fadel says Style doesn't have to. That it's Kant's duty. Style should buy something for Fadel instead. Style asks on which day his birthday is and Fadel tells him it's on Christmas. Style loves that and tells him: "Lucky you. That’s a good day to be born on. I'll be your Santa Claus sneaking in your house and leaving a present for you." Fadel wants to know what that present will be. Style doesn't say anything, just looks at Fadel for a moment before he leans forward and plants a kiss onto Fadel's lips. When he looks at Fadel afterwards, his expression is full of adoration:

It's as Style's dad said: when Style loves someone, he really truly does. With all of his heart. And that heart full of love is exactly what he will give to Fadel. Fadel laughs. Style's smile widens a tiny bit*. He's in love. Then he turns around, making sure he gets his face just a liiittle bit closer to Fadel's while he turns, and then finally makes it to his shower.

*see second image above

Style can't see the way Fadel's expression darkens after Style has walked away.

No. 3: I Know You Don't Know I Know

The date turns out to be a BB gun war. Of course the lovebirds have teamed up boyfriends vs. boyfriends. Style is in the middle of firing a few shots towards the other team when Fadel stops him. Style tells him that he can handle the enemy himself, but Fadel says Kant has to go through him first. Then he makes a very shady comment: "He started all this, after all." Style squints at Fadel, alarmed and confused.

That's weird. Fadel isn't supposed to know this. Style asks for clarification and Fadel elaborates: "Because he hit on my brother, you got to know me." Or in his actual wording, because I'm having too much fun with this:

Ai'Kant came to hit on my little brother and you came to hit on me. ไอ้กานต์มาจีบน้องกู แล้วมึงก็มาจีบกู [âi Kant - maa - jìip - nóng guu • láew - meung - gôr - maa - jìip - guu] Ai'Kant - come - hit on - my little brother • and - [sentence link] - come - hit on - me

Fadel then repeats that this is how Kant started it and subtly throws Style a challenge: "What did you think I mean?" Or also:

What were you thinking (of/about)? มึงคิดอะไรเนี่ย [mueng - kít - à-rai - nîia] you - think - what - [particle]

While this sure is plausible, Style still isn't very reassured. It seems like a weird time to bring this up, especially with Fadel having acted very out of character the day before. Not to mention, why would Fadel pull a correlation between Kant hitting on Bison and Style hitting on Fadel? For all Fadel should know, him and Style first met when Style crashed into Fadel's car. There is no reason for Style's flirting to be related to Kant hitting on Bison in any way. But Style can't exactly tell Fadel all that, so he brushes Fadel's question off, saying he wasn't thinking of anything. Then he brings the topic back around to their war game: "But you gotta let me play, too." Now here I do desperately need to share Style's actual words, because we've got something very interesting going on here:

But let me take a shot some time, too. แต่มึงให้กูยิงบ้างดิ [dtàe - mueng - hâi - guu - ying - bâang - dì] but - you - let - me - shoot - some - [particle]

(Alt. translations": "But let me shoot some too." or "But let me take some shots.")

Style doesn't just wanna play the game, no, he actively wants to take a shot himself. Might that be foreshadowing? Will Style be shooting someone at some point? If this was a video essay, I would now put a counter in a corner that takes note of every time there is a reference to Style shooting a gun this episode.

Style says Fadel doesn't have to act like his bodyguard all the time and then leans closer to tell Fadel: "I know you’re good at this. But I ain’t no loser, either." There is a lot of weight to Style's words, he really means what he says. This is important to him. He wants to be able to stand his own ground, too. Although, it's actually kind of ironic that Style says this. We all saw how he did in that fight at the host club in episode 3. But then again, maybe watching Fadel take on three grown men on his own while being completely useless in the situation himself has kicked Style into determination to be able to fight for himself alongside Fadel, especially once he found out about Fadel's hitman identity. Or maybe he's played a lot of BB gun war games before and is actually good with guns, but is simply just useless in a fist-fight.

Anyway, this time it's Style who's said something that suspiciously alludes to something that Style actually in reality should not know. He doesn't know that Fadel now knows Style knows and so when Fadel calls him out on it, Style is caught a little off-guard. "How’d you know I’m good at this?", Fadel asks. It's a very pointed question, a suspiciously specific question. Style stutters for a moment before he comes up with a plausible reason: "I can tell from how you hold your gun. It’s obvious you’re a professional." Without Style's knowledge his word choice betrays him again. Right after the words are out of Style's mouth, Fadel suddenly leans over to fire some shots at the other team past Style's shoulder (part of me wonders, if Fadel really did need to shoot right then and there or if he just did it for the dramaaa~~~), then grills Style some more: "Professional what?" Now, here's a the literal translation of how this conversation goes:

S: Just from that I already know you're a professional. รู้เเค่นี้ก็รู้ว่ามึงมืออาชีพ [rúu - kâe née - gôh - rúu wâa - mueng - meu aa-chîip] know - just that - [sentence link] - know that - you - professional F: What profession? อาชีพอะไร [aa-chîip - a-rai] profession, occupation - what

There is definitely something not right here with the way Fadel is phrasing his questions. With the way he is explicitly asking Style to state what Fadel's occupation is, an occupation through which one would gain expertise in how to hold and shoot guns. "What profession?" This is not a genuine question, it's a challenge. Does Fadel know anything that Style doesn't know?

Again Style takes a while to answer, searching Fadel's face for any hints before he says "Professional BB gun shooter."

Fadel laughs and finally stops grilling Style with questions he can't yet answer truthfully. Instead, Fadel drops a cheesy line on him. "I can’t help but get protective over my boyfriend." Although I feel like the Thai version sounds a bit less cheesy (at least the English translation of it, I forgot to ask my friend about the connotations in Thai):

I have a habit of looking after my boyfriend. กูติดนิสัยดูแลแฟน [guu - dtìt ní-săi - duu-lae - faen] I - have a habit (of) - looking after, taking care of - boyfriend

Then, Fadel takes up on Style's wish to get some shots in as well and suggests Style watches his back, telling him not to let anyone shoot Fadel. Style still looks at Fadel with that searching look on his face. Fadel is clearly playing at something, but Style can't figure out what exactly that is. Then Fadel hits him with another pointed question:

I can trust you, right? กูไว้ใจมึงได้ใช่ป่ะ [guu - wái-jai - mueng - dâai - châi bpà] I - trust - you - can - right?

Style still doesn't answer immediately, but instead of question marks, there is now determination in his face. This is a question he can firmly answer from the bottom of his heart. "Yeah. You can trust me." Fadel acknowledges it, but then waves his BB gun at Style in a subtle threat: "Don’t let me down." The message certainly reaches Style clear as day. He doesn't say anything, instead just searches Fadel's face again for answers he can't find.

Fadel gets up and throws himself back into the battle. Style stays put and watches him run off. Style squints a little as he stares after Fadel.

Something was very much not right about this conversations. Fadel's questions were too specific, too threatening even at certain points. Fadel is clearly onto something but Style just can't find the missing puzzle piece that would explain Fadel's recent behavior or all his probing questions. This isn't really the time to dwell on this, though, so after a moment Style gets back to playing as well.

The very first thing we see of Style next after Style says Fadel can trust him is Style shooting Kant in the back, which has me wondering if he will end up metaphorically shooting Kant in the back in a future episode. The "Style + guns" counter is up to 2. Style tells Kant "Love sure makes you do something stupid" which has got to be foreshadowing (exactly what stupid things are gonna be happening out of love?? 👀) and then Fadel walks over, puts his arm around Style's shoulder and brags about him. Style looks at Fadel, his expression content and pleased as they stand there arm in arm. Style got his shots in. He did Fadel proud. He did not let him down.

No. 4: The Power of Love

Now this scene is very interesting, because it's like Style does a complete 180. From the way he talks you'd think he's entirely forgotten how he's called out Fadel for behaving weird and saying weird things in literally every single scene from this episode so far. You'd think he's forgotten how Fadel was suspiciously dodging most of his questions on the garage floor. You'd think he's forgotten about how uncharacteristically sickly sweet and clingy Fadel was when he stayed in Style's bedroom. You'd think he's forgotten about how only earlier that day they were dancing around the topic of Fadel's true identity and how Fadel kept challenging and even subtly threatening him. What happened to the Style that was so very skeptical and suspicious of Fadel all episode?

Now, I think everything Style is saying here makes complete sense for his character. Style has always been a character full of optimism and hope (showcased perfectly well in episode 6) and especially in scenes with Kant he has often been the optimistic counterpart to Kant's pessimism and realism: When Kant was worried about James, Style suggested that James could simply just be out of town. When the Captain was about to arrest the brothers, Style figured the brothers would be free as soon as their boss was caught before Kant reminded him that that's not how it works in real life. When Kant and Style stood in front of closed restaurant doors, Style reminded Kant of and held onto how attached the brothers were to them. Now in the showers, when Kant voices his suspicions, Style is overly confident and optimistic again.

Style tells Kant "you think too much" when Style has done nothing but think a lot in all his scenes with Fadel so far. And all his thinking shows in the way he immediately has counter-arguments ready without even thinking about it. Style has been through all of this in his head already. I don't think that Style is necessarily actively talking himself into believing what he says, because his mood is too good for that and what he says sounds a bit too genuine for it to be addressed to himself. I think this really is the hope within him talking. And, frankly, also his confidence. I mean, look at the two of them. Who wouldn't quit their assassin job to be with them? Style and Kant are that awesome. Style fully believes that. And he fully believes in the power of love.

What was the thing that Style's dad again? When Style loves, he does truly does with all his heart. Style loves so sincerely, so intensely that of course it would feel powerful. Of course there is power in love. Of course it can turn a bad guy good. Why wouldn't it? Fadel went from a grumpy cat to someone who constantly smiles around Style because of Style's love. Fadel wore the matching couple shirts because of Style's love. Fadel danced and sang karaoke in public because of Style's love. Fadel wore fan make-up in public because of Style's love. Why wouldn't Fadel stop killing because of and for Style's love? And why would the same thing not go for Bison and the love Kant has for him? I know there've been some entertaining posts going around making fun of how Style puts killing people on the same level as stealing cars, but that's just genuinely how Style thinks. Because Style doesn't draw a comparison in which one is worse. Both are simply bad. Both, Kant and Bison did bad things. They can connect over that. And the power of love will fix things.

Just like in episode 6, Style refuses to just sit there in misery. He refuses to be stressed as long as there is still a small glimmer of hope that things end well. Yes, Fadel has been acting weird, but until Style has definite proof that something is indeed extremely wrong, he'll go and enjoy life. As long as there is still a positive, plausible explanation or a positive way out, he'll go and enjoy life. There could be something wrong, but there doesn't have to be and so Style chooses to hold onto the thought that there isn't anything wrong for now until proven otherwise. And with that energy, he goes bowling that same night.

No. 5: Eventful Evening

The four of them round off Bison's birthday with a double date at the bowling alley. Style is in the bestest of moods. Kant and Bison walk off for some bowling. Fadel and Style stay back at the table and watch from a distance as Kant hands Bison his birthday present. Style is impressed at how romantic Kant is is being. Style could never. And now that I think about it, that actually seems to be true. Style has been romantic towards Fadel, but from the top of my head I can't remember a single instance in which Style pulled a pre-planned and prepared romantic gesture on Fadel. But that's okay. Because Fadel likes Style exactly the way he is. And Style is cool with that. He continues to say: "But you know, maybe I get like that, too. I could spring a ring on you one day and just ask you to marry me."

You never know! Fadel reacts fondly. Style throws him another happy smile. They both go to take a sip of their beer. Out of the blue, Style starts choking and ends up on the couch. Fadel panics. Style springs a ring on him and goes: "Will you marry me?"

Pronoun time! For just this one sentence, for just the marriage proposal Style switches to the polite phom pronoun before he jumps back to the rude guu pronoun:

แต่งงานกับผมนะครับ [dtàeng ngaan gàp - pŏm - ná - kráp] marry - me - [na] - [krub]

Now, at this point I sincerely need to apologize to those who read my ep6 meta before I went ahead and edited it because I made a really big mistake: I completely forgot to mention a very important language note in a specific scene because there was so much else going on that scene and it was only when I watched the cast reaction to ep6 that it hit me. I have since edited my meta post and added it, but if you missed it let me tell you there is a word play I failed to mention in the scene where Fadel puts make-up on Style: you know when Style says "Then you should put some makeup on, too"? The word he uses here is แต่ง [dtàeng], which is used in the sense of แต่งหน้า [dtàeng nâa] which means "to put make-up on" or is also used in the sense of แต่งงาน [dtàeng ngaan] which means, well, "to get married" or "to marry". In Thai, Style leaves out the second part of the phrase that makes it explicit which of the two it is and so the sentence can be heard either as "So, will you put on make-up with me?" or as "So, will you marry me?"

And it's just veeeery interesting that Style asks Fadel to marry him for the second episode in a row. If it happens again next episode, I'm calling it. But for now, let's wait and see 👀

Style is absolutely delighted that his little prank actually worked on Fadel: "You’re usually too smart for me." Fadel stares at him for a moment, then shakes his head, sighs, and replies: "Not at all. I’m a damn fool. That’s how you got me."

And fun fact: when he says "That's how you got me", in Thai the word that was translated as "got" is หลอก [lòhk] which means "to trick" or "to deceive". Style tricked Fadel. And we know Fadel definitely isn't referring to just the marriage proposal alone. As perceptive as Style has been all episode about Fadel's weird behavior, now the double meaning slips right by him. Personally, I think it's because at this point he's too tipsy to pay attention to this and he's also too good in a mood to care. Besides, he's already decided to be optimistic about Fadel's behavior. Style grins at Fadel, slips the ring back onto his own finger, then holds out his hand to Fadel and looks up at him. With an eye roll, Fadel obliges and pulls Style up onto his feet. Style then excuses himself to go to the restroom.

Style is so tipsy, he is about to fall asleep at the urinal when a random guy he doesn't know walks in and strikes up a conversation with him. Now, I think the whole thing about "We gotta keep these good things, don’t you think? People don’t seem to appreciate antiques anymore" is definitely alluding to something, but we're gonna have to keep watching to find out. And Style certainly wouldn't know, after all he doesn't know this dude. The guy walks into one of the cubicles and honestly, considering the ensuing interaction between Fadel and Style, I think Style is drunk enough that this didn't even fully register with him or maybe he just immediately forgets about it the moment Fadel walks in.

Style is quite surprised to see Fadel enter the restroom as well, but is also very happy about it: "Did you miss me so much you had to follow me to the bathroom?" This thought excites Style. Then Fadel asks about the other guy and starts looking through the stalls. Fadel's behavior is kinda weird again, but I think this time around Style really is too drunk to properly take note of it and connect it with Fadel's secret life. And as mentioned before, Style has decided to focus on the positives and not to stress unless given a solid reason to do so. And so for a moment Style observes Fadel checking the stalls before pushing Fadel against the wall and asking if he is jealous. When Fadel finally says yes, Style huffs a little, looking kinda pleased. And I can't help but think of @secriden's post about how back in episode 5 when Style said "I hope you're not the jealous type like your brother is" his body was saying the exact opposite of his words. And let me just share @braceletofteeth's tag on that very post too, while I'm at it:

#Style wants Fadel to claim him as his so bad it makes him look stupid #just like he takes pride in choosing his own man #he would be proud to be chosen as Fadel's man #delighted‚ if Fadel let others (and Style) know he's the one who earned the space reserved for his special someone #in his heavily secured heart #if he was so special to Fadel that he wouldn't want him to be taken away #or to share him with anyone else

I think we can really see this here in this scene as well. Fadel claims he's jealous and from Style's POV is in search for the random dude in order to take it up with him and defend his position as Style's boyfriend and that thought immediately has Style horny for Fadel. He advances on Fadel, trapping him against the wall on one side and goes on a monologue about how he only has Fadel now. The thought of Fadel being jealous has Style so horny for Fadel, he's ready to hook up with him right then and there in the bathroom stall. By now, Style has most definitely gotten too distracted and as a result forgotten that the random dude from earlier is still there. Lucky for Keen, Fadel declines and leaves the bathroom. Style stays back for a moment, watches him walk away, licks his lips and then follows him out.

Side note: Okay, so over my previous metas I've been very clear about how I think that Style isn't the kind of person to enjoy sleeping around all that much (at least not as much as Kant does). And in my ep3 meta I said that I think Style enjoys flirting around much more than sleeping around, attention hoe and chatty cat that he is. Now here in the bathroom, when he says that he only has Fadel now that of course could be taken as Style hooks up with many people. However, what he says right before that strengthens my belief that Style much rather flirts than actually hooks up: "I know I’m cute and all that. It’s only normal people strike up a conversation." Style never shuts up. And flirting? Hitting on someone? Is typically done via talking. So of course he'll engage with people striking up a conversation. And also, Style calls himself cute. I mean, I'm ace so I wouldn't know, but if you wanna end up in bed with someone wouldn't you like them to consider you "hot" or "sexy" rather than "cute"? At least that's how I'm imagining it that it goes (allos feel free to share some personal experience that I'm lacking). Anyway, yeah. I think, Style very much enjoys the whole flirting part. After all, that'll give him both attention as well as an excuse to talk.

When Fadel and Style return from the bathroom, to Style's surprise he finds Kant with a kid. Style immediately walks over to say hello. I've seen discussions and headcanons on Style potentially helping Kant raise Babe. So far we saw Babe and Style in a scene together only one single time and they didn't even interact, so we don't really know what Style's relationship with Babe is like, but it certainly is quite likely that Style is an honorary older brother or uncle to Babe. Another thing I'm thinking is that Style probably also simply just likes kids. He is very excited and motivated to interact with the kid and I'm wondering if Style would like to have children of his own some time. After all, he did seem very open to the idea of being impregnated by Fadel back in episode 4.

But from one moment to the next his happy little interaction is interrupted by an unexpected gun shot. Some guy is waving around a gun and screaming bloody murder over his (ex) girlfriend. Style stays with Kant and the kid. That is, until Fadel claims to be the girl's new boyfriend. Maybe you've already seen a post about Style's outcry going around, but if you haven't, then let me just explain what Style literally says when he goes "Take it back!"

ผัวเค้าเหี้ยอะไร [pŭua - káo - hîia - àrai] husband - her - fuck, damn - what

Now, several things here: the characters use the word ผัว [pŭua] which is a slang term for "husband" which is also used in the sense of "boyfriend" (meaning, as far as I've picked up on the word doesn't mean that the people are married for real, though I might be wrong about this). In the following I'll use "man", because "husband" sounds too formal and "hubby" also sounds kinda weird in this context. Next, the word เหี้ย [hîia] is a curse word kinda like "fuck/fucking" or "shit" or "damn". Word for word the Thai sentence makes "her man fuck what" (alt.: "her man fucking what"). The sentiment of it is roughly:

Her man, my ass.

The fuck you on about, her man??

Her man, the fuck??

Her man, fuck no.

What the fuck, her man??

Take your pick. Style is very upset about this, even if rationally he knows that Fadel is doing it do protect the girl from being murdered. But in his drunken state and this being a life-or-death situation, he reacts emotionally instead (which tends to be his main route even when he's sober anyway, it's just worse now). This brings us back to: Style wants Fadel to claim him as his so bad it makes him look stupid (quoted from @braceletofteeth). Only minutes ago Style was excited at the prospect of Fadel being jealous and fighting for him and now here Fadel is, claiming someone else as his in a hall full of people. It stings, even if it's just pretend. Fadel is his boyfriend, thank you very much. Style's had to work hard, fight hard to even get to this position and he's not gonna let anyone, not even Fadel himself, take that away from him, goddammit. "Her man, the fuck?? You're MY boyfriend!!" But Kant pulls Style back down, worried about Style's safety. Style lets it go.

In the meantime, the assassin brothers are working on taking the shooter down and each gets hurt in the process. Both Kant and Style run to their respective boyfriends. Fadel shoos Style away, though, ordering him to check on Bison first. Style looks up and with terror realizes that the shooter isn't being checked on and could cause more harm at any moment. Style jumps to his feet and runs to the gun, picks it up and shoves it into the shooter's face without any hesitation. And that's a 3 on our "Style + guns" counter. Three times is a pattern, no?

Now, I've seen people wondering if Style maybe has some experience with guns from the way he confidently pointed it at the man. It could be a possibility (after all he seemed to have a handle on the BB guns as well), but I think a big reason why he reacted like this is that Style simply just likes to help and tends to act like a mediator (when he's not actively picking the fights himself). His reaction here really reminds me of the way he also threw himself into the fist fight at the host club, despite being a terrible fighter and standing no chance against those men. He sees that the situation is dangerous and his main desire is that it is resolved with as little harm being caused as possible. Style isn't really thinking here in this moment (in the sense of that he's actively using his brain). He acts on instinct and his instinct is telling him to keep the gun away from the shooter and to make sure the guy doesn't cause any more harm. Style's desire to protect his loved ones is so strong he doesn't even have the capacity to think about what he's doing here and whether he is even capable of shooting the gun in the first place and what that could potentially do to his mental state if he shoots (and possibly kills) someone. There is only "MUST PROTECT" going on in his mind. Finally, staff drags the dangerous man away. Style calls an ambulance at Kant's request.

No. 6: Signs (Of Worries)

In the process of taking down the shooter and saving the two women, Fadel hurt his arm and is now getting it treated at the hospital. And of course, Style is right by his side. As soon as the nurse is gone, Style starts asking Fadel worried questions. When Fadel claims that it doesn't hurt, Style is a little bit done with Fadel's constant need to pretend: "Just admit when it hurts. You don’t have to be tough all the time." Style loves Fadel, Style wants to be there for Fadel through the good times and even more so through the bad times. And especially in the bad times he doesn't want to spend the entire time having to guess how his boyfriend is doing, how his boyfriend is feeling. He wants to be a safe space for Fadel to be open and vulnerable. And just to hit the message home he tells Fadel out loud to make sure Fadel really doesn't miss it or can't ignore it: "I’m worried about you, you know? I thought you were a goner." Actually, in Thai he's more vague about it, he doesn't say that he was afraid of Fadel dying specifically:

I was afraid something would happen to you. กลัวมึงเป็นไรไปอ่ะ [gluua - mueng - bpen rai - bpai - àh] afraid - you - have a problem - [particle]

Also, he doesn't say he was "worried", he says he was "โคตร [kôht] worried". โคตร [kôht] is an intensifier, so basically Style is saying he is "super worried", not just "worried".

Fadel shoots him down, telling him not to overdo it. But Style isn't!!! He just watched his boyfriend go through a situation that could have potentially killed him if something had gone wrong. Not to mention, said boyfriend's brother is now lying at the very same hospital with a stab wound, because something went wrong. Style has every right to make a big deal out of it, because it is. To him it is. With worried puppy eyes he continues to say: "Can you please at least give me a sign before you do something like that again? I’m always here to help."

I want to share a more literal translation again, not because the content differs but because there's something about the original phrasing that I like:

Next time you're gonna do something, give me a sign. ทีหลังมึงจะทำอะไรอ่ะก็ส่งสัญญาณดิ [tii lăng - mueng - jà - tam - àrai - àh - gôh - sòng - săn-yaan - dì] next time - you - will - do - something - [sentence link] - send - signal - [particle] I'm always ready to help you. กูพร้อมช่วยมึงเสมออยู่แล้ว [guu - próm - chûuay - mueng - sà-mĕr - yùu - láew] I - ready - help - you - always - [aux] - already

I like that the first sentence is phrased like an imperative, not a question. Of course, in this moment Style is asking Fadel to do something specific, but the question is only implied. It's not a "Can you please do this?". No, it's a "Do this!", instead. It's an order. And what I find even more interesting (which we have in the translation too) is that Style doesn't say "Please don't do this again". He isn't keeping Fadel from doing dangerous things. Fadel is allowed to do them. But Style requires a sign first. A warning. A little heads-up so that he can mentally prepare. And even more so that he can help Fadel. "I'm always ready to help", he says. He is not just here to help but he is ready to jump to his feet at a moment's notice and help Fadel no questions asked.

He waits for Fadel to say something. Fadel asks about Bison. Style informs him that Kant is with Bison and Fadel starts to get up, saying he'll stay the night with his brother and orders Style to go home. Style has been sent home by Fadel many, many times before, so he is used to this. However, back then it was before they were a couple and Fadel sending Style away always made sense, because Style was in fact annoying Fadel and Style was aware of that fact. But now it's different, because now Fadel genuinely enjoys Style's presence and Style know that fact, too. And as always, Style won't let Fadel get rid of him so easily and so he holds Fadel back and starts questioning him about his weird behavior again: "What’s with you? You were so lovey-dovey an hour ago." Then he leans closer and takes Fadel's face between his hands, asking: "Is your brain okay? Did you hit your head?" And while the words Style is saying are certainly meant to be a joke, the sentiment behind them is 10000% serious. Something is not right with Fadel, something hasn't been right with Fadel since the day before, actually and lowkey even since the love confession at the diner. Style genuinely wants to know what's going on with Fadel. That's not a joke, there is nothing funny about this, even if he is phrasing it in a light-hearted way.

But Fadel shakes him off and moves to walk away again. Now Style gets stressed. There is absolutely no way he is leaving Fadel's side right now. He holds him back and yields, offering to take Fadel to Bison. Then he runs off to grab a wheelchair and maneuvers Fadel into it. Fadel humors him and Style wheels him off.

Bison is still sleeping when they arrive at his room. Kant gives them the update on Bison's health. Fadel announces once again that he'll stay with Bison overnight. Style is against it and comes up with sensible reasons why Fadel shouldn't. Fadel's arm is hurt and Style wants him to go home and rest. Fadel's well-being is a priority for Style right now. Kant can take care of Bison for a while, it's fine. Fadel can and should take a break and recover a little bit. Finally, Fadel agrees, even if he's not very happy with the situation. But despite him yielding to Style, he does speak out a warning to Kant: "But while I’m gone, if something happens to my brother, it’s your fault." The last sentence is even more direct in Thai:

You must take responsibility. มึงต้องรับผิดชอบ [mueng - dtông - ráp-pìt-chôp] you - must - take responsibility, be responsible

Fadel isn't just telling him that he will be blaming Kant for Bison's disappearance, but he's saying "You will be taking responsibility for his disappearance, you will pay for it". It's a threat. And in Thai, Style actually acknowledges that Fadel's words are a threat when he stands up for Kant:

And why are you threatening Ai'Kant? แล้วมึงจะไปขู่ไอ้กานต์ทำไม [láew - mueng - jà - bpai - kùu - âi - Kant - tam-mai] and - you - will - go - threaten - [prefix] - Kant - why, what for Official subs: Don’t give Kant a hard time, dude. Kant didn't do anything wrong. การต์ไม่ได้ผิดอะไรเลยนะ [Kant - mâi dâai - pìt - à-rai - loiie - ná] Kant - not - be/do wrong - anything, something - [particle] - [na] Official subs: None of this is his doing.

There is no reason for Fadel to threaten Kant when Kant was in no way involved with the insane man at the bowling alley that attacked Bison. Kant promises he'll take good care of Bison. Fadel just sits there wordlessly. Then, without a warning he gets up and walks out. Style calls after him: "Do you have to be so stubborn?" which in Thai is actually:

You're hurt and you're still stubborn?! เจ็บแล้วยังดื้ออีก [jèp - láew - yang - dêu - èek] hurt - and - still - stubborn - (once) more

I wanted to share this because I wanted to draw attention to how Style mentions Fadel being hurt again even when Style is complaining about his behavior. Fadel's injury is still very much on Style's mind. He just wants to take care of Fadel and be there for him. And so he runs after Fadel.

No. 7: Heed My Warning

Style follows Fadel into the hallway and tries to convince him to get back into the wheelchair again and to let Style take him home. But again Fadel tries to get rid of him: "I can walk. Just go back to your garage." Something is seriously not right about Fadel's behavior. Style looks at him searchingly, trying to figure him out:

Then he steps closer to Fadel and continues his fight. "I know you can. But boyfriends are supposed to take care of you at a time like this." I just want you to know that when he says "in times like this" the literal translation is something like "when you're sick and hurt":

ตอนเจ็บตอนป่วย [dton - jèp - dton - bpùuay] when - hurt - when - sick

Fadel is hurt and Style is worried and he just wants to look after his boyfriend, goddammit. But instead, Style is met with a warning: "Once my brother gets better, we have some business to finish with you two."

The word Fadel uses here for "finish" in Thai is สะสาง [sà-săang] which the dictionary translates as "to clear up" or "to solve" and my friend who I asked about this word defined as:

to finish something and leave nothing unfinished

Yeah, Fadel is out for murder and he's gonna make damn well sure the job will be done properly and to the end. The sentiment reaches Style. He's confused. Where is this threat suddenly coming from? "What are you talking about? Sounds scary as hell." Fadel agrees. He repeats what he's tried to tell Style before, except this time the warning serves as a threat, a direct attack: "You should probably be wary of me." Style looks taken aback. Fadel continues his threat: "Whatever act we’ve put on up until now won’t be necessary anymore." Then, Fadel walks off. Style watches him go, speechless and alarmed. He gulps, not once, but twice.

The time for optimism and hope is over. Style has to face it: something is worryingly wrong with the way Fadel has been acting. Once back at his garage, he sits and thinks about Fadel's words again. Fadel knows something, but Style just can't figure out what exactly that something is. He grabs his phone and calls Kant, presumably to discuss the conversation with him and to warn him and to make sure Kant is safe. Kant doesn't pick up. Style has a really bad feeling about this.

No. 8: The Naked Truth

It's the next day and Style is back at the hospital. He doesn't even make it to Bison's room before he is stopped in his tracks. The police is here. Style stops a nurse and learns that Bison has kidnapped Kant. Style hides in the restroom to call Kant. Kant still isn't picking up. This is very very bad. But before Style can take action, someone grabs him from behind. Only seconds later, Style falls unconscious. Headcanons are out on whether Style could tell it was Fadel who attacked him by the feel of his body or not.

When Style wakes up, he finds himself tied up at a pool wearing no clothes save for his underwear. As most people in this situation would probably do, Style starts calling for help. And what's interesting is that he doesn't really seem panicky about it when he initially starts shouting. It's more concern than fear. It's only towards the end once it starts to sink in for him that he really does seem to be completely alone that the fear sets in. Except then he hears a familiar voice: "Stop shouting and shut up. No one can hear you here."

When Style asks what Fadel is doing and why he tied him up half-naked, Style's voice sounds a little stressed but there is also something reproachful about it. Fadel demands to hear the whole truth (Or one could also say... the naked truth. With the way he stripped Style of all his clothing). "What truth?" Style asks, and now the fear that was there a moment ago right before Fadel revealed himself is gone. Instead, Style is truly angry. He ain't got no time for these games. His best friend has been taken god knows where by a killer who could be doing god knows what to him (after all, Style doesn't know Bison as well as he knows Fadel) and he also isn't in the mood to be sitting around tied up and naked at a pool while getting a gun waved into his face by his boyfriend. Especially when he has no idea what the fuck his boyfriend is even on about. But luckily, Fadel explains. Remember how at the end of my ep6 meta I said "Style is missing a key piece of the puzzle and even if he can tell that something is off, to Style it still looks like a happy picture. To Style it still is a happy picture"?

Style asks "What truth?" and Fadel says "That you and your friend have been fooling me and my brother. You work for the police." And there it is. The last crucial piece of the puzzle that Style had been missing since the end of last episode to see the full picture.

Oh. There are several realizations happening in Styles reaction here. Fadel knows. Fadel knows that Style knows. And now Style also knows that Fadel knows that Style knows. Style has been trying so hard to get Fadel to drop the truth and now the moment is finally here. No more dancing around this topic. And also, all of Fadel's recently odd behavior suddenly makes perfect sense. It's all falling into place. During the BB gun war Style already had his suspicions that there was something that Fadel knew about and then when Fadel threatened him at the hospital in a way it just proved his suspicions. And now Style finally knows what exactly it is that Fadel had found out about. And Style now also understands that Fadel found out a wrong truth, or rather an inaccurate truth that paints a wrong picture of Style. And so Style clears it up: "I don’t know anything about those cops. Kant asked me to take you out so you could leave him alone and he could freely investigate." The anger that was in Style's voice before the reveal subsides when he goes into his defense and instead he is annoyed and impatient. After all, he is still naked and tied up at a pool. And his best friend is still missing from having been kidnapped by an actual assassin. Style doesn't have time for this argument right now. Fadel asks him another question: "What did he get out of it?" Style replies "I don’t know. That ain’t my business" and his tone is even more annoyed and also kind of exasperated now. How the fuck should he know?? Why is Fadel bothering him with this?? His only job was to make Fadel his boyfriend. That was his only role in this. He didn't have anything more to do with this.

Fadel wants to know where Kant took Bison to. Style is even more annoyed at this point. Yeah, I was trying to find my friend, too, before you got in my way and abducted me, you fucking idiot. Fadel doesn't believe it when Style says he, too, was looking for Kant. Now Fadel is getting annoyed and impatient as well. "Stop freaking lying." Style is frustrated. "I'm not lying." He informs Fadel of what the nurse said about Bison taking Kant and running away to some unknown location. Style is fed up. He really isn't in the mood for Fadel's stupid interview. He just wants it to be over. "Don’t hurt me, Fadel," he continues. And what I love about this is that there is absolutely no fear in his voice when he says this, no plea for his life. Because he doesn't say it in reaction to something Fadel said or did. Sure, there's a gun to Style's head that could be triggered at any moment, but the thing is that Style has been having this argument with a gun pointed at him for a full minute now and nothing has happened so far and so Style doesn't feel like he is in any immediate danger. And Fadel doesn't even do anything to indicate that he's about to use the gun on Style or that he's about to hurt him in any other way after Style explains that it was Bison who took Kant instead of the other way around. Fadel just stands there immobile, not acting significantly more threatening than he has for the past minute, so there is no reason for Style to be afraid. And it shows in the tone of his voice that he isn't afraid. When Style says "Don't hurt me" his voice sounds annoyed and irritated and frankly, just kind of done. It's almost as if he's saying Just drop the tough act already. Because Style knows it's an act. And I just wanna share something that @secriden wrote here, and I know this paragraph is actually in relation to Fadel's uncharacteristically clingy behavior all episode and to Style's lines that are about to follow, but when I read @secriden's words they had me thinking that this also goes for the seemingly tough act that Fadel is putting up in front of Style, not just the played up sweetness:

In the midst of all the secrets and lies between them, ever since [Style] found out about Fadel's secret and decided he was going to keep pursing him anyway, Style has been chasing and chasing Fadel's sincerity. And each precious revelation that Fadel gave him -- his parents' murder, his inability to trust, his desire for something genuine from Style -- has been carefully stored away in Style's heart like nuggets of gold. Which is why Fadel's performance was doomed from the start; because Style was moved by the true things and not the lies, and Fadel's pretensions can have no effect when Style's heart now has the ability to recognise that which he has already grown to love.

Style has gotten to know Fadel so well that he can recognize when Fadel is being sincere or not, whether it's about Fadel's affections or Fadel's threats. He's gotten to know all these different sides of Fadel, has learned to read him and has learned to differentiate between what is true and what isn't, the way Fadel has learned to differentiate the sincerity and the insincerity in Style's words and actions, too. Which is another reason why Fadel is doomed as well, because after all this time he, too, can tell when Style is being sincere or not. And what Style is about to say to him is indisputably sincere.

Fadel demanded the whole truth from Style, but there is one truth Style hasn't told him yet, at least not in explicit words anyway. And so he continues: "I know I worked for the police, but that was before I knew who you are. Now that I know you, I really love you, Fadel."

And let me just share my own translations again:

Even if it's true that I was a police informant, it was before I knew the real you. ถึงกูจะเป็นสายตำรวจก็จริงอ่ะ แต่นั่นมันก่อนที่จะรู้ตัวจริงของมึง [tĕung - guu - jà bpen - săai dtam-rùuat - gôh - jing - àh • dtàe - nân - man - gòn têe jà - rúu - dtuua jing kŏng meung] even if - I - be - police informant - [sentence link] - true - [particle] • but - that - it - before - know - real you But now that I know the real you, I love you for real, Fadel. แต่พอกูรู้ตัวจริงของมึงแล้วอ่ะ กูรักมึงจริงๆนะฟาเดล [dtàe - poh - guu - rúu - dtuua jing kŏng meung - láew - àh • guu - rák - mueng - jing jing - ná - Fadel] but - when - I - know - real you - already - [particle] • I - love - you - really - [na] - Fadel

You'll notice that I highlighted something there. I actually discussed the term ตัวจริง [dtuua jing] (= real self) with a native speaker friend and I even showed him the scene (bless his heart for putting up with my antics) and he said when he first heard those lines he was a little confused why it would be phrased like this, because usually in Thai they'd phrase it a little differently. We were hanging out in person and unfortunately I didn't write it down, so now I don't remember what the way my friend said it's supposed to be phrased as was, but yeah, apparently this is odd phrasing. Which is why it's even more interesting to me that in episode 5 Fadel says this:

The real me might be scarier than you think. ตัวจริงกูอ่ะ อาจจะน่ากลัวกว่าที่มึงคิดก็ได้ [dtuua jing goo - àh • àat-jà - nâa gluua gwàa - tîi - mueng - kít - gôh dâai] real me - [particle] • might - scarier - that - you - think - [particle]

The wording is basically the same (yes, Style adds the word ของ [kŏng] (= of, from) before the pronoun, but this word is optional and the meaning stays the exact same) and it just makes me wonder if Style's words were written as a deliberate call back to the conversation in episode 5. Back then Style asked Fadel to fully open up to him and told him "I promise that no matter who you are, I’ll still like you". Except back then the message didn't fully reach Fadel, because the cards weren't all out in the open just yet. But now they are. Style knows who Fadel is and Fadel knows that Style knows who Fadel is. And Style has actually gotten to know even more sides of Fadel since that conversation from episode 5 took place. "Now that I know the real you, I love you for real." He loves the grumpy side that always yells at him, the badass side that takes down three grown men in a fight, the happy side that loves heavy metal music and putting on band make-up, the side that has a passion for cooking, and ultimately even the dark side that is capable of killing people without remorse, even if he has yet to witness Fadel actually murdering someone. He isn't scared of him, not even when Fadel is waving a gun around his head. Style loves all of what makes Fadel Fadel.

This, however, is the one truth Fadel does not want to hear, can't hear right now. When he yells "Shut up" at Style, it's the loudest and most aggressive tone he's had in this entire conversation so far. At the same time he also advances on Style, putting his leg up on the step and shoving the gun even closer to Style's head. The yelling and the movement comes so sudden that it actually startles Style. Fadel continues to speak out a threat: "Say you love me one more time, and you’ll be lying at the bottom of this pool." He even mimics a kick. Style complains: "Hey!" Don't kick me into the pool, the fuck!? "I mean it!" Or in his actual words:

I'm telling the truth! กูพูดความจริงเว้ย [guu - pûut - kwaam jing - wóiie] I - say - truth - [particle]

Style is starting to get a little stressed now. What's Fadel threatening to kick him into the pool for when Style is literally telling Fadel the truth just like Fadel demanded? He's been telling Fadel all the information he has, all that he knows but Fadel still won't release him. Instead Fadel just keeps threatening him. Style really doesn't feel like ending up at the bottom of an empty pool, especially not when his best friend is being held captive himself god knows where. All while Style is stuck telling truths that Fadel doesn't want to believe, despite having demanded to hear them. So Style throws Fadel a little reminder:

People who are about to die speak all of the truth. คนจะตายก็พูดความจริงกันทั้งนั้นอ่ะ [kon - jà dtaai - gôh - pûut - kwaam jing - gan táng nán - àh] people - about to die - [sentence link] - say - truth - all, every - [particle] Official subs: I wouldn’t lie with a gun to my head like this.

When people are faced with death they don't typically lie. They tend to speak the whole truth. So why the fuck would Style be lying now? Having this yelling match while being tied up and naked at an abandoned pool is getting really stupid now. It also won't bring Kant and Bison back. If the truth and the power of Style's love can't bring an end to this situation then maybe Fadel's concern and love for his brother will. So Style, still in a rather irritated mood, suggests a deal: "Untie me and I’ll help you look for Bison and my friend." But Bison is another vulnerable spot for Fadel, and just like before he reacts in anger, waving his gun into Style's face: "I ain’t stupid anymore. I don’t trust a word that comes out of your mouth." And for those of you who are curious about the literal wording:

Whatever the hell you're saying, I'm not listening to you. มึงพูดเชี่ยอะไรกูไม่ฟังมึงหรอก [mueng - pûut - chîia à-rai - guu - mâi - fang - mueng - ròk] you - say - whatever the hell - I - not - listen - you - [particle]

No matter what Style says, Fadel won't hear him. The previously annoyed and angered expression on Style's face falls and his eyes widen a bit. Oh shit, you're for real?

His words are his best and only weapon that Style has, a weapon that is essentially rendered powerless if Fadel refuses to listen in any way. I think this is the moment Style realizes that there is a good chance that he can't talk his way out of this after all. That he might be wrong about Fadel sparing his life. After all, Style once was also overly confident that Fadel liked him enough to not do him any harm only for Fadel to punch him in the gut and abandon him on the cold, hard ground in some random storage room. There is a good chance that Fadel will pull the trigger for real. Fadel continues to rage: "You chose the wrong man to fool, asshole."

I think this is the first time that Style is honestly afraid since the very beginning of the scene when it sank in that he was alone. Where before his "don't hurt me" was mostly annoyed, this time when he shouts "Fadel, no!" he is is genuinely scared for his life. He leans away from Fadel, his eyes squinted close as he waits for the likely life-ending shot. He can't see the way Fadel's hand is shaking. The shot doesn't come. Style opens his eyes again. The screen goes black and we are left to find out later how exactly this ends.

No. 9: Hitman Teerak

Fadel did not kill Style. And Style knows for a fact that if Fadel didn't kill him back at the pool then there is no way he's killing him now. Style can afford to be cocky again. All the fear from when we left him has vanished completely and he is back to his overly confident, charmingly annoying self. And he's also wearing clothes again.

Fadel is still pointing a gun at him, but Style doesn't give a shit anymore. In fact, he is very unimpressed. When he asks "Where are you taking me?", he sounds annoyed again, if not downright bored like a child that doesn't wanna do a chore their parent gave them. By the way, the Thai version of this is even sassier:

Where are you taking me to kill me? มึงจะพากูไปฆ่าที่ไหนเนี่ย [mueng - jà - paa - guu - bpai - kâa - tîi năi - nîia] you - will - bring, take - me - go - kill - where - [particle]

Fadel informs him that the place doesn't matter, because Style will die either way. Style sighs a tired sigh and closes his eyes. Fadel really is that set on killing him, apparently, huh? It's getting old. Fadel says: "But before I kill you, I have to see my brother." Style opens his eyes again and turns around to Fadel. He really is getting tired of this. "Do you know where he is?" Fadel says no, but Style needs to help find him. Then Fadel makes a vow: "Once I find him, I’m going to kill you both." Style hesitates, then decides not to fight Fadel on this. He's tired of fighting this stupid fight. If Fadel wants to be stubborn then alright, Style will yield. And so he exasperatedly agrees with Fadel: "I know I deserve to die." Then he turns a bit away from Fadel and says in a pouty voice: "Well, at least I won’t die alone." Style is sulking. Fine. Kill me if you must. But at least I will die side by side with a friend and it won't be a lonely death, I guess. It's the little things in life. He looks at Fadel again. Fadel squints. "Shut up and drive." Suddenly there is impatience in Fadel's voice which was so firm and resolute the entire scene up until now. Then, Fadel goes back to threatening Style with death: "One wrong move, I’m blowing your brain out." Style is severely unimpressed. Or rather, he is impressed but certainly not in the way Fadel would want him to be impressed.

Style knows he's got Fadel now. Any death threat from now on will be utterly meaningless. Fadel won't kill him. Style goes for malicious compliance, but makes sure he makes a big sassy and kind of flirty show out of it to demonstrate just how much not scared of Fadel and his tough guy act he is. Because that's all it is, by now. An act. An act that Style will go along with, if it makes Fadel feel better. "Kruuuub, Mr. Hitman." Yes, yes, you'll kill me, I got it. "I’m scared enough as it is, no need to threaten me." You really don't need to repeat your death threats over and over, I'm sick of hearing them, uh, I mean, just look how terrified of you I am. "I know my life is in the palm of your hand." You've been pointing this gun at me for ages now and I'm still here, alive and kicking. Yes, I really, truly am at your mercy and so very scared for my life. "Why don’t you just take a nap instead or something?"

The last line actually makes me laugh even more in Thai:

Why don't you take the time that you spend threatening me to take a nap instead? มึงเอาเวลาที่มึงขู่กูอ่ะไปนอนมั้ย [mueng - ao - weh-laa - tîi - mueng - kùu - guu - àh - bpai nawn - mái] you - take - time - that - you - threaten - me - [particle] - go to bed - ?

Threatening me is pointless. How about you do something more productive with your time? Ain't that an idea? Style ends his "Fine, I'll fold to your wishes"-monologue in our beloved iconic line: "I’ll drive you where you want me to go, my hitman-teerak." As stated before, I'm always ready to help you, my love <3

Fadel keeps a poker face and orders Style into the car. Style doesn't move, he just defiantly tilts his head and looks at Fadel like well, watcha gonna do to me if I don't?

Fadel loses his temper a little and yells at Style to get going. Style finally moves, but right before he turns he smiles as he looks at Fadel and his eyes are full of warmth and affection. He loves this man.

Halfway on the way to the car door, Style turns around again and throws Fadel another warm, amused, and very pleased smile.

He knows he's already won. Life couldn't be going better for him right now. Style gets into the car and Fadel follows. And off they go, driving into the sunset off on their little road trip to find Kant and Bison.

Once in the car, Fadel lifts his gun back up at Style's head. Style throws him a look. And we all know Style would have jumped Fadel and ripped all his clothes off right then and there if he hadn't been busy driving a car. Fadel lowers the gun again. Style keeps looking over at Fadel, which has me nervously scream look at the fucking road oh my god you're gonna die via a car crash if not by Fadel's gun. Fadel finally takes that nap that Style suggested. Style keeps driving. He is happy and content and very satisfied. Fadel may have put his walls back up, may be pushing him away and threatening him again like he did before they started dating, but that's okay. Style has annoyed his way into Fadel's life once before, he can easily do it again. Especially now that he actually knows Fadel, knows how to handle him, knows how to get through to him. And this time around the flirting is real from the start. And what's even better, what's the biggest relief of it all is that the big secret is now fully out in the open. It had been weighing Style down a lot, but now he can finally talk about it. They can finally talk about it. And now Style can finally hammer it into Fadel's head for good that he isn't scared of him in any way, that he really has embraced him with his hitman identity and all. Style won't have to allude to it anymore in the future, no, he can explicitly say it. And he can show Fadel that it's worth for Fadel to open up 100% to Style, that Style will stick by his side no matter what and that Fadel can absolutely trust him. Style will make him believe that he absolutely, undeniably, irrevocably loves him. Life is going great.

[sandyhorse333]

Clearing some things up about the following because some people cannot keep their mouths shut, AKA explanation post regarding being harassed online

TW r*pe

>"@/aaronzbiggestsuperfan" / if I use she/her, assume it's in referral to this person

There has been 'drama' with her that has revolved around me.

No, I'm not asking you to make posts about this or attack her, I am asking the opposite.

Please read this thoroughly.

These are screenshots from the original ordeal. Essentially, my boyfriend had blocked her and she sent me a dm asking why, so I responded (she had sent me an ask, I responded in DM's as not to make it public). Conversation continues as shown

>Sidenote, I made a joke mid-way through because I thought she was joking or trolling or something. I apologize for that

This was the last interaction we had directly. This was 2 months ago.

A little after this, however, they began making vague posts like "Should I expose people in the stuilly fandom?"

They ended up making a post which included me in it, and then followed it up with more posts, painting me as a villain or as if we had drama. We didn't. This is literally all that happened.

I was very overwhelmed and affected by this because I have been harassed online and cyber-stalked before but I did try my hardest to be mature. I had never insulted them at all nor have I accused them of things other than what I've written here. I believe all those posts I just detailed are still up on her page.

Now, this is where misconceptions come in.

No, I did not accuse her of sending me death threats, rape threats, and I didn't tell any friends or mutuals she did that. What had happened was, after she made those posts "exposing me" (within hours) I and my friends began to receive an influx of anonymous asks saying things about me. I never ended up saving any, though I have pictures of something similar, and those will be attached. I never accused aaronzbiggestsuperfan to have sent them, though in private, I speculated aloud on who it may be during vents, because it was really getting to me. I had to take multiple breaks from the internet. This is not her fault, and I don't think all of them were from here. I don't have any proof a single one was from her, therefore I ask you not to assume it is from her.

As of late, and as this topic has been coming back (keep in mind I haven't interacted with it nor brought it up publicly in 2 months), and I have received another wave of asks.

Here's an example, where I am getting a rape threat.

these are both from my mutual, @/seriousandclean. the first one is an ask he responded to, and the second is one he hadn't responded to, but screenshotted and sent to me per my request.

No, I never told anyone in private I thought these asks were from aaronzbiggestsuperfan. She had no way of knowing these traumatic events that had gone down in my life. This is not relevant to anyone on here, but I believe this is from someone I used to know online who I thought was my friend.

I am mentally in a very bad place right now due to all of this and have expressed it countless times in hopes it quiets a little bit of this but it has, unfortunately, not. There are now people in groups I'm in talking about it, and people asking my mutuals, and friends, and boyfriend about it, and it really goes on.

Something extra is she was apart of a discord server I was in. There wasn't nor isn't any drama pertaining to that which I'm involved in directly, but it is about me I believe? The deal is I left before anything was said, before she was kicked from the server, and before she was apparently accused of sending those asks I attached. This has all blown out of my control where I feel people are twisting my words whether it be in defense or offense of me and it is all being blamed on me. I don't know what happened in the discord beyond those bare details, nor do I have interest in figuring them out. I don't want responses, I don't want anything. I just want this to stop because it has come to a point where I and adults are receiving things detailing my sexual trauma. I'm 14. Those pictures of asks were just the only ones I saved. There are many others.

i'm not coming back, i'm only posting this in hopes it stops being as relevant in my life.

thanks for reading

[sturniolo04]

The Confession 4 C.S.

Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader

A/N: I tried something different :)

A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)

*Really long you have been warned.

it has been a few days and you have been staying at Madi's house the whole time we havent hung out with the triplets since that last time when literally all of them were mad at you. Which they probably still are mad at you but you all are leaving for hawaii today so which means you have to been with the triplets for two weeks and you couldnt help but think about the deadline nick gave me you dont know how you am going to do it honestly. You sighed out as Madi came in my room

"hey how are holding up jess"

"its going to be so awkward  Madi i really fucked up because i didnt want to get hurt"

"its going to be okay plus Nate is coming i found out from matt"

"you ready to go"

Chris hasnt talked to Jess for a few days and it is killing him that he cant talk to her honestly she truly is his other half like he cant every think of a time besides now they didnt every hang out. She literally is always with him and everytime he was with her he would feel extremely safe with her and maybe it was the way she smelled like vanilla or when he would hug her or just oh my god..

"you ready to go dude"

"hello chriss"

"uh huh yeah give me a second"

me and madi pulled up to the triplets house and you were already immediately ready for this trip to be over even though it hasnt even started yet. Me and made climbed out of my car walking over to the boys loading the van

"hi"

he states as he noticed madi's presence behind him

"hi you"

she states quietly waiting for him to be down doing what he was doing to hug him

"Jess"

"nick im so sorrry i know you are mad at me about chris and everything"

"im not mad at you i was actually hurt you didnt text me these past few days i thought you were mad at me for giving you a deadline with chris"

"no i wasnt mad and i am going to do it"

"tell him"

Nick questions you to make sure you two were on the same topic

"yeah i have to"

you sigh out slowly

"good for you and if he breaks your heart you know i am here for you"

"of course"

"hey"

Nate states as he walks up to the two

"Nathan whats up"

"hey nate"

"i feel like i havent seen you guys in years"

"it kind of has been at least a year"

"what did i miss then in that year then"

"jess likes chris"

"NICK SHUT UPP"

you exclaim quietly smacking nick's arm

"what for real"

he questions you chuckling

"no i dont"

"she does"

" Stop shut the fuck up dude"

you huff out walking away from the two running into you guessed it

"oh my god I'm sorry"

"it's whatever"

he states blowing you off completely walking away to get loaded up in the car with everyone else

"hey you good"

she asks walking up to you

"yeah um are you sitting with Matt"

you reply shaking that encounter off

"yeah you can sit with nick or Nate if you want"

"okay then"

"you guys ready we are leaving"

he shouts as everyone climbs into the van heading to the airport

Time has passed and we made it to the airport and well chris had to sit next to Matt and Madi and he wasn't too happy about it but it wasnt until she asked him to move  that he realized he would be sitting next to Jess

" oh um I can move because I know you're mad at me so I can just go over and seat with Nate"

you state uncomfortably getting up slowly and sitting next to Nate in the aisle behind

Chris wanted to stop her so bad and talk to her but he was mad at her she ignored him for Christ sake his is her best friend at least he thought he was

"whatever Jessica"

he states abruptly focusing on his phone screen in front of him

wow the full first name he is mad at me for real. you walk over and sit next to Nate letting out a big sigh

" so you and Chris"

"not here Nate and no I fucked that up"

"what how"

"it's a long story"

you state closing your eyes for take off as nate places his hand on yours. you smile at the soft contact

we finally got settled into our Airbnb in Hawaii and Matt knows his brother he is bothered by something other than the obvious of jess completely ignoring him last week but this was different

"matt can I ask you something... does Nate like have something going on with Jess or"

"No and even if they did why does it matter to you"

"I mean no it doesn't-  I just realized that I mean I thought they were something is all"

"what the fuck Chri- wait- you like her don't you"

"what the fuck matt no I don't"

he exclaims standing up from the couch they were sitting on

"okay then you don't maybe you should just talk to her"

"maybe I will where is she"

he replies giving in finally regardless to his past feelings

"maybe in her room or outside exploring with Madi"

"well I'm right here so the first one chris "

she states sitting next to matt resting her head on his shoulder

"word"

He states walking into her room which was a few feet away

"nate"

"uh hey what's up"

he greets awkwardly

"what are you doing"

"just chilling why"

"um yeah it's whatever"

"Nateee I couldn't find the the hat you were talking abou- Chris"

you trails off as she spots Chris

" uhh it's okay"

he says noticing your movement after realizing Chris was in the room

"can I talk to jess for a minute nate"

"uh sure I'll be out here with Matt and Madi"

"umm do want to sit"

"actually can we maybe walk on the beach"

"yeah sure"

you nod her head following Chris outside

you two ended up walking on the beach in complete silence. Chris was being weird he was just being completely mad at me and now he wanted to talk to you. Just 2 hours ago he couldn't stand being next to you and now this

"jess are you and Nate"

"what!!!"

you exclaim at the thought

"no Chris just friends promise"

"just asking"

"yeah no I like someone else"

you state quietly

"even though he may not want nothing to do with me at least relationship wise"

"what do you mean you're amazing anyone who wouldn't want you is fucking stupid"

"thanks Chris"

"yeah"

he trails off

"hey so listen I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for being a douche to you"

"no I'm sorry for being weird all week and even now I guess I'm such a bad best friend"

"yeah you are'

he chuckles out

"hey"

you exclaim playfully pushing your shoulder into his lightly

"but seriously I miss you Jess like hanging out with you I feel like we used to talk about everything and when you got mad at me I literally had no one else to talk to"

"I'm sorry and I missed you too"

you say quietly

"why were you even mad at me"

he asked as you freezes at the question

oh my god Jess now is your chance just say what you have always been wanting to say.. rip the bandaid off now. You stop in my tracks and go for it finally

"umm Chris I was trying now to say anything to protect myself but I was only being weird to you and mad at you I guess because I"

taglist

@mintsturniolo @wh0resstuff @dirtylittleheart333 @emely9274

@stayingstromboli @spicymuffins03

[zara-renata]

currently vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass bc of your new caleb fic. like oh my god i need to be held so bad bc the YEARNING OH MY GOD. you are so so good at writing the tension (sexual and not) between these two characters. reader’s longing is so clearly an aching wound that’s been festering for far too long and caleb is both treating it and also making it worse. i loved the bits where we got to see in his head especially at the end where u told us that the meeting was no random coincidence but instead a test of the reader’s reaction. that’s so good, reader’s feelings felt so visceral and the way that they pretty much only say caleb’s name as the entirety of their dialogue is the perfect touch. i loved the unveiling of caleb’s mechanical augmentation and how tender it was and the mention of caleb’s blush. it shows how reader’s feelings still have the capacity to surprise him or lay bare his own want for her even as he is carefully trying to control every aspect of their reunion. i’ve never read the little prince but the references were so cool and tbh everything u sprinkled it from their childhood was so well placed. the nightmares that reader has had and how caleb comforted them, how they were both longing for more but never crossed the line. it’s so delicious and if im honest every mention of caleb’s body had me wound up bc his design is so attractive but the way that the reader described him was practically body worship it was so good. thank u for mentioning his happy trail and his hairy arms i needed that 😭 this line was probably my favorite bc the (un)subtle dominance and possessiveness of the first half had me gripped by the neck i swear: “resting your clasped hands on his big thigh as he drives one-handed, relaxed.” it’s so domestic but clashes so hard with the actual context of the scene. i love how they settle into these rhythms with each other bc they know each other so intimately even tho they’ve never crossed that romantic/sexual line. and god when the fic switched to caleb’s perspective at the end and he was ignoring how hard he was i literally shoved my fist in my mouth. the restraint!!! the longing!!! the want!!!! i feel insane. and of course the finger in the mouth made my brain short circuit. it’s so lifestyle dom of caleb, and the mention of choking reader lightly just to bruise her for others to see and for them both to enjoy. i need to be locked up in a cage and released only on january 22nd bc idk how im gonna wait patiently for caleb now. (last thing is that the mention of the choking/hand on her throat really crystallized for me what caleb’s favorite position probably is but let me not say right now or i might blow up) but thank u thank u thank u for this fic. every day i wish infold was on here ready to hire u to write out the lore for sylus and now i have u to thank for wonderful and intriguing caleb characterization

Okay so I've read this comment multiple times, especially now as I'm polishing the second part and am having serious doubts about whether it will ever see the light of day because it's A Lot, and I think will be a turn off for a lot of people because it backtracks in time to their growing up together. So thank you for all the kind things you point out about part 1, it's really encouraging because i have been putting in so much thought into this version of the calebmc character dynamics with what we now know about him. he's clearly manipulative, possessive, two-faced, dangerous, suffered from guilt for so long about how much he wanted her, his feelings for her, which caused him emotional turmoil, shame and self-recrimination before he died, but because he's a main LI and this is a romance game, I firmly believe he genuinely loves and cares for mc. like all the LIs, the writers will play up his possessive, protective, 'villain' quirks in the memories but never have him cross the line into truly toxic territory. More under the cut because this became a novel.

So I want to take these characteristics and really want to explore the relationship dynamics and how deeply these two would have affected each other from the moment they met/were brought under the same roof. I love your description of 'reader’s longing is so clearly an aching wound that’s been festering for far too long and caleb is both treating it and also making it worse.," because that's exactly how I imagine it for her throughout her youth and then during his death. and it's clear from the PVs of Caleb that he has felt the same, lamenting how he had to 'endure, day after day, suffocating." with teenage emotions, that house was probably a powder keg of high-key feelings and they never let themselves act on them. that's amazing to me.

Because he knows MC inside and out, I imagine him being much more assertive in interacting with her (kind of what you described as a lifestyle dom, even though I think BDSM terms can sometimes be so limiting when discussing human relationships). but like, for example, to contrast with sylus (who is embodiment of love, he is not lying when he says that no love is purer than his), he always is so careful to make sure he has mc's consent, that mc is with him of their own free will, that he's not coercing mc, mc is choosing to be with him, actively. he made such a shit first impression with mc, and just wants to love them, to be loved in return, and he is so patient and calculating and plotting to ensure that he does it in a way that mc will respond positively to. he's begging for mc to notice him while being terrified of fucking up again imo. But i imagine that with caleb, caleb already knows mc in this life, he knows what she wants, he likely feels like he already has mc's consent and just acts. he's likely stubborn and obnoxious insisting that he knows best. he's not offering quid pro quo, transactional exchanges like sylus; doesn't feel the need to negotiate, because he's already put in the time, he's always been protecting and loving mc and present in a way that sylus has been unable to be until he kidnaps mc like the heartbroken dragon he is. i think caleb probably draws so much self worth from already knowing, anticipating, and providing for mc, trying to 'create a world where it's just the two of us,' definitely likes being the only one (in his mind) that can give mc what she wants/needs. whereas with sylus it's easy to write him as the green flag he has always been, trying to write caleb's brand of possessive, mask-wearing possibly-brought-up-to-kill mc but fell in love with her instead, in a romantic way, without crossing into abusive, toxic territory, presents an interesting challenge for me right now.

in any case, i'm trying to challenge my anxiety here big time, because caleb is already controversial due to the 'childhood friend/adopted brother' schism in the translations and the fandom, and because it's clear that he's two-faced and manipulative, and you have to consider their childhood when thinking about their current relationship, and with the way online culture is these days it kind of feels like a mine field wanting to dig into their story and give it context that infold will likely not give us because, well, they still haven't done that for mc at all and everything she's been through, and still haven't done it for the first few days with sylus. so I appreciate this message, esp. since people follow me for my sylus stuff and i'm shoveling unreleased obsessive caleb fic at them while letting sylus simmer. i also appreciate the comments/tags people have left on the fic itself. it's reassuring that there are people out there who like complicated, nuanced relationships in their fanfic (which I try to write with varying success), especially with caleb and his divisive place in the fandom. So thank you so much, i'm glad you enjoyed this fic.

and finally: he's not even out yet, my take on him currently could be wildly OOC and people should point and laugh at me and maybe throw things at me too once he's out and he's nothing like i'm predicting lmao. if you're caged till the 22nd, i'm right there with you, 8 days uuuuuuugh

[lambergeier]

IT TOOK TWO MORE WEEKS BUT: part 2 let's go

seeley's nightwing 2016, issues 1-43. okay here's where we start getting into the business. i was bopping between early volumes of nw2016 and nw96 basically at random, both of them had their high points, until nw96 suddenly Clicked and then i stopped picking up volumes of nw2016 entirely. what i read was alright: the character beats in the damian arc were real stand-outs, i've returned to those issues a number of times even if the dr. hurt/pyg plot felt kind of nothing. and also the whole setting was simply racist. but jesus christ dick and damian are in love. otherwise, superman just suggesting dick check out bludhaven and then he does it was like, insulting. i felt personally insulted by that. fucking put any work in to setting up the status quo!! but truly without the frisson of bruce and dick's terrible relationship, bludhaven in 2017 or whatever just could not compare to bludhaven in 1996, so yeah i haven't really returned to the rebirth series since.

nightwing 1996, issues 1-117, minus nightwing: year one. first chunk of reading that should really be its own post. fascinating to watch how efficiently dixon sets up a status quo, which i have since watched a lot of other writers fail at badly lmao. his stuff just zips along, the action is fun, he builds out a big and enjoyable secondary cast (with the interesting tension of like, many of these characters are based on racist tropes, but they're still human in their actions underneath that? or something. requires more study lol). the dick/tim/babs/bruce relationships are all fun, got hints of tension even when he's not committing to anything huge (most especially with bruce and dick, least especially with dick and babs lol). AND THEN: devin grayson's run. man this really should be its own post. her stuff is great, her character work is second to none, but man the destruction of nixon's status quo felt almost vindictive in how long she drew it out. i agree doing knightfall to dick is great, i think about doing knightfall to dick every day of my life, and i think where she was going with it (but ultimately got stopped from achieving) was probably gonna be really interesting!! but it was just too long and too brutal for the medium imho. i would pay four figures for her ffn/ao3 account tho. devin i know you're out there

year one: batman/scarecrow. good times. love how even when bruce is trying to be a good dad and he still puts the literal fear of god in dick. what the hell man. not not battered wife coded like fr

robin & batman. this was fun like whump is fun--bruce making dick give the debrief on all his new friends was deeply compellingly horrible--but ultimately like, this can't be canon lol. it can't have been this bad at the beginning or else it's meaningless how bad it got later. i'm glad they kind of immediately made it irrelevant with b&ry1

batman & robin: year 1. SOOO GOOD. CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHERE THIS GOES. SAMNEE MY KING!!!

joker: last laugh 5/6 and robin 93 #95. wanted to see dick kill the joker. honestly think everyone should have been way more fucked up by all that. one fucking issue of being depressed after, that's kid shit. devin grayson read that one issue and it made her so mad she blew up dick's entire apartment building

the titans 1999, issues 1-39. first twelve issues or whatever are great because, of course, they are by devin grayson. she simply nails the little character moments. dick and kory's whole intensely loving nightmarish shit.....mmmmm that's good! kept reading after she left but couldn't make it to the series finale. just got kinda boring. jesse quick was kinda great tho, i liked her neurotic corporate ass.

the boy wonder, juni ba. pell has said more on this and more intelligently, but to sum up very quickly, i do think it's probably impossible to make something good out of the orientalist bog that is the al ghuls. i think this was a very interesting attempt, though, and it was gorgeous, and damian is my baby, and the jason was fantastic, and tim and dick were very cute (tim's nasty little redditor beanie from his robin flashback: iconic), so for all of this i will forgive the boy wonder's worst sin, which was including yet another fucking kintsugi metaphor.

birds of prey one-shots. literally their third issue together babs is eating dinah out then asking her why they don't spoon as much as they used to. what the fuck did dixon think he was writing?

infinite crisis #6-7. i don't remember like any of this. #blessings. emma remembers it tho bc she was regularly on that scans_daily shit until infinite crisis suddenly started happening and ruined everything she ever loved. she filled me on the "and then superboy punched time" meme. dark times

a whole mess of shit leading up to batman & robin 2009 in order to more fully bring batman & robin 2009 into my heart. includes morrison's batman/batman rip/the resurrection of ra's al ghul, the accompanying tec/nightwing/robin 1993 issues, the final nightwing 1996 issues, an inadvisable amount of final crisis, last rites, the battle for the cowl, and then like 90% of the batman/tec issues with dickbats. and then, finally, batman & robin 1-26. no i haven't read batman incorporated yet. second chunk of reading that should be its own post. this was a really funny incident caused by emma picking up batman and robin and being like baby i think this is good come read it with me and me being like "oh shit i haven't read anything past infinite crisis yet, lemme just do a quick little context read" and then, a week later.... anyways morrison is fascinating, low lows (final crisis, talia) but some high highs (their very first issue with the fight in the art musuem with all the pictures-within-panels reacting to the fight, DAMN that was good). i really like the hallucinatory ambiguity of a lot of their stuff. i love when dick grayson is sad. i love him and damian. they are babies and in love. alfred is a freak for real: enjoyed that. eeeeeverything to do with the breakdown of tim and dick's relationship as implied thru this era including red robin: good. still thinking about winick's line about dick always knew he'd bury bruce without a single gray hair!! damn!!

special mention from the above list: like 7 issues of bruce wayne: the road home. INSANE BRUCE BEHAVIORS. INSANE. JUST DON'T TELL DICK YOU'RE HOME? DO TELL TIM AND THEN NEG HIM FOR LIKE 28 PAGES OF COMIC? ALAS, WE'LL HAVE TO KILL THE BATMAN.

red robin plus that one issus of adventure comics 2009 with tim and kon in the paris sewers. i love this, i love tim, i love red robin, i love chris yost, i love tim's year-long episode of magical thinking, he is my baby, he is my normal and rational king, i love him.

task force z. okay listen i had a lot of fun with this. issue nine through the finale completely fell apart, the machinations of the "plot" were ultimately total nonsense, but the jason&bruce and jason&the other kids issues were really really fun (besides the usual babs character assassination). i love jason just getting to preach to everyone about how nobly he's suffered. finally in rosenberg we find a worthy successor to judd "jason todd has done nothing wrong" winick. also i love harvey dent. shame it sounds like the follow-up joker series sucks ass, i will not be reading all that

skimmed forever evil and then nightwing 2011 #30. wanted to know about the infamous fight scene. even in the context of n52 bruce, who i know is famous for sucking ass, this felt like character assassination. like it was just hard to read. there were one million other ways to have gotten dick into spyral, that they picked this one is kind of a nightmare lmao

the 2011 judgment on gotham event. this was weird. are you telling me there are people out there who are christians like for real?

batman: gates of gotham. bad. dickbats not wroth it.

knight terrors: nightwing 2023. WHY do i KEEP READING comics from the TWENTY-TWENTIES. BABS GREATEST FEAR IS RELYING TOO MUCH ON TECHNOLOGY-> OOC, ABLEIST, BORING, AND I'LL KILL YOU

taylor's nightwing 2016, #106-113. why did i read this? was i possessed?

watters' nightwing 2016, #119. tentatively intrigued. you've appealed to my emotionally curious nature. i will not be buying dcui for you though.

like a single issue of gotham war. batman #138. OOF. OOF! NOT GOOD!

BIRDS OF PREY BABY. #1-9 let's go war criminals let's go

literally all of knightfall. all nine collected volumes. everything through troika. my end of the year blitz. the final chunk of reading that should be its own post, but here we are. the art in this ranged from good to like, stupefying. graham nolan and scott hana have to be some of the best to ever do it. prelude to knightfall and knightfall vol. 1: fun fun tasty stuff. prodigal: IIIIIIIIIINSANE. everything else: boring (i'm sorry jpv i am just not that into your problems!) to offensively, offensively bad (WOW THE SEARCH HASN'T BEEN REPRINTED IN 25 YEARS? THAT'S CRAZY. COULD WE HAVE MADE IT 50?). the way all this is the inciting incident for the modern batfamily is like.....man there is a lot going on there. a lot to unpack!!! very glad i read it tho, even if that also meant i had to read the search 💔

2024 comics post

broooooooooooo. what the fuck HAPPENED.

the actual cause of all this: i read some really funny fic by ao3 user deadchannelradio, then i got emma to watch some old teen titans with me, then we watched the under the red hood movie, then i read some more fanfiction, almost entirely bad, then i caved and checked what the public library had available to borrow comics-wise. which turned out to be a lot. and then i bought the DCU subscription. and now here we are. this is going to be in approximately chrono order, and there will be no bolded recommendations. read only what big 2 comics you can justify to god.

tom taylor's nightwing, vols. 1-5 (issues 78-105 i think) plus fear state. my first foray back into big 2 comics since my mcu-era marvel situation in high school and college. haha, these are kinda cute, i thought. simplistic, but the art is gorgeous, i said. i would be happy to buy these as floppies at my local store, i theorized. like some kind of idiot. like some kind of naive child.

batman/superman: world's finest, #1-ongoing. waid and mora just too fucking good. i love nonsense, and to put nonsense in my mouth. would actually consider buying the first volume as a tpb it's so fun except for the massive, classically racist, unforced L of making another culture's normal nuanced folk hero (ne'zha) into a demon from hell for just like, no reason. hello? also love mark waid just doing whatever the fuck he wants with the kingdom come continuity. it's his house. no one can stop him. still reading this one as new issues go up on DCU.

world's finest: teen titans, #1-6 loved this also. i also haven't read any og teen titans (emma read all of pre-crisis NTT while i was reading nightwing, so the early children remain firmly in her realm of expertise) but she also agreed that it was cute. waid is just fun. like what are we supposed to do.

mark waid's shazam 2023, #1-6. see above re: waid and his powers. big shout out to dan mora, as ever, but BIIIIIG shout out to colorist alejandro sanchez, who i truly think made this arc. girl those WATERCOLOR EFFECTS!!

robin 2021, #1-17. read this and super sons at about the same time, officially dipping my toe into the damian waters. solid, loved the issue of all the other robins chasing after him, him and dick love each other for REAL. i also like his little goth girlfriend, and his manga habit. felt like a kinda ham-fisted attempt to give damian his own story without being willing to set him up with his own status quo, a la bludhaven, but what can you do.

super sons, #1-16. children's comics for sure, but with a surprising amount of blood in them? wasn't quite certain of the marketing angle on that, but i LOVED jon and damian they are BABIES. i also like every time clark is like my son never listen to damian. his father is a lunatic. for sure never listen to his father either. that was cute. shame this was cut so short lmao.

tim drake: robin, #1-6. offensively, offensively bad. i didn't even really know tim yet but this was like. please christ in heaven gay people have to be worthier of better comics than this.

batgirl 2000, #1-37. i know this is widely-loved, but it actually didn't get me until like #12 or so? if that? i love cass, but the art was rough for me, and it couldn't carry me for the early non-verbal comics. her shit with shiva was great tho. cass you are fully insane my girl

under the red hood and lost days. ICONIC!! JASON TODD MY RATIONAL KING!!!

robins: being robin. did not like this. trite. also did not like dick's manbun: a real issue.

batman: year one. oughhhhh what if the classics are good actually. and unfortunately. mazzucchelli and lewis are so fucking good, like lewis in particular..... what even is left to be said. the art alone is Just That Good. also bruce wayne and jim gordon are kissing with tongue for real

robin: year one. mmmmmm good. dick grayson your problems. also i still love harvey dent. possibly my favorite batman villain. symptom of having watched a lot of batman begins/read my one random copy of the long halloween an extensive number of times as a teen

batgirl: year one. had some great moments, but did not like nearly as much as robin y1. i do think this is due to the sexism. i like when babs punched infant dick in the solar plexus tho!

batman: urban legends - specifically the cheer arc with jason. i really liked this but i'm not sure i'll feel the same in a year or so. i think this was a pretty deft way to get jason to drop lethal violence without betraying his own justified belief in the power of lethal violence (rational king), and thus bring him back into the family fold, but of course bringing him back into the fold is itself a fraught project, and his character as a whole is so uncertain (as i understand) since the new 52 so like. i think it did what i was trying to do quite well (and i loved how insane bruce appeared! compared to jason!) but should it have been trying to do all that? an open question!

devin grayson's gotham knights, #1-24. WELL AS IT WOULD HAPPEN THESE ARE MAYBE THE BEST BATCOMICS I READ ALL YEAR. listen i am so aware of devin grayson's many sins. but these are the original "what does it mean for bruce to have all these fucking teenagers" comics, and, so far in my reading, they remain the undisputed best. everyone's just been rehashing her since, and it hasn't been nearly as good. she's got the touch (profound fandom-aligned inanities)

batman: murderer/fugitive. put an order in for the recently-released 1100 page $125 omnibus just this afternoon. It's Good.

robin vol 1: reborn (tim drake). idk the exact issues on this, collects tim's first few post-tlpod batman issues, plus his first miniseries. tim drake by god do i care you.

lmao okay the post editor is starting to lag like a motherfucker. posting this then putting the next half in a reblog

[autisticandroids]

CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.

[youtube with closed captions]

a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.

[shannonallaround]

After pondering on it for several days, I have officially decided I did not like the direction of KFP4 and have banished it from my brain. It is no longer canon. KFP4? What's that? Don't know what you're talking about.

[blujayonthewing]

SUPREMELY frustrating that we found something actually really cool and intriguing and plot relevant in tonight's session but I'm still so constantly preoccupied with whether the DM is going to 100% kill us with sheer poor game design that I barely have enough brainspace left over to even enjoy it

[vaperarmand]

unfortunately the thing is that izzy haters are destined to fail. like sorry i know he's the worst and he fucking sucks but david jenkins has sort of a "i want you flat on your back. helpless. tender ... and then i want you strong again" type relationship with him. it's inescapable

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

I know I'm sort of rapid-posting here a little bit but I've been really wanting to read the Chasing Storm book again but because I can't at the moment I'm rewatching Cars 3 and I'm realizing more and more I have less and less proper reasoning if I get questioned why I like him.

Which I'm now giggling over remembering how I used to skip over the entire middle part of the movie because I just wanted the bits of him in the beginning and ending segments. First movie that I learned every entire bit of dialog to. I used to do the dishes to that movie playing.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Having now watched Bridgerton after resisting for years, all I can say is, if Anthony was my sibling and pulled that season two mess after all the trouble he caused me in my love life in season one...

*hands Daphne a knife and gets the hell out of her way*

[classicjdog]

CURSE MY FUCKING SHITARSE INTERNET I JUST WANT TO PLAY SOME FUCKING TEKKEN GAAAAHHHHHHHH

REINA IS SO FUCKING SICK AND I CAN'T PLAY HER AGAINST REAL PPL I'M STUCK FIGHTING THE STUPID AI FUCK

[kanerallels]

Lads, let me tell you something. Deciding to watch The Rookie based mainly off my knowledge from Tumblr (which mainly made me think that it was the Tim and Lucy show) is kind of a trip in the first season when Nolan and Lucy are a thing

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also was revisiting a little bmc bway interview ft. william last night & him saying his favorite part of the show was probably doing the agtikbi reprise scene on the couch at the party & mentioning the Nonverbal aspect of jeremy & christine's interacting / communicating there & a way of exploring/depicting Love & Affection in a way you don't always see everywhere and like aaaarghhhhh so true good lord that specific scene. and Again the bway obcr version Existing and being like that, it's just like. winded exhale yeah obsessed 5ever thank you all