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cherri-tomato · 7 months ago

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Venomous.

Chapter 1: The Laboratory

Pairing: SpiderMan x fem!venom!reader

Chapter Summary: y/n visits an abandoned lab to find some good photos for a class assignment but finds herself in over her head when she comes face-to-face with a creature calling itself venom.

Chapter content: Near death experience, descriptions of injuries, angst, potential body horror (its venom soo), brief mention of animal death, brief mention of vomiting (non-graphic), mention of assault (not to reader)

Series masterlist

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The old Oscorp laboratory that sits on the outskirts of New York wasn't exactly the place most college students expected to spend their Friday night. Even y/n, who usually spent her time alone or developing old photos in her university's old darkroom instead of hanging out with nonexistent friends, didn't make a habit of visiting dilapidated buildings alone with only a camera and a flashlight.

The lab was in the middle of the forest, surrounded by a rusting chain link fence—a ‘CAUTION! ELECTRIC FENCE!’ The sign was on the ground beside said fence, having long since fallen off. Normally this would have made y/n turn around and try to find a less dangerous place to take pictures for her photography class, but it just so happened that a large, y/n sized hole had at somepoint been cut into the fence, leaving the perfect entrance for curious (and borderline suicidal) university students to slip through with relative ease.

The laboratories walls were covered in vines, the plants wrapping themselves around anything their tendrils came into contact with. The door to the lab was gone, leaving just a gaping hole as an entrance, and y/n entered easily, snapping a few pictures of the outside as she did. The inside was, much like the outside, a complete mess. The walls, once a pristine and clinical white, now a dirty, greenish-gray, with splatters of what y/n could only hope was just some random chemical and not blood. Blue double doors lined the hall, a small rectangular window on each one. After opening a few doors and taking some photos of the old science equipment, she finally found herself standing in front of the last door at the end of the hallway. Through the small windows she could see it was a stairwell, and pushed the door open, entering the well and taking some pictures of the eerie stairs leading into the complete darkness of the second floor.

Pointing her flashlight up the stairs, she began to climb. She stopped at the second level door which was marked with a large ‘2’, and gave the handle a rough shove to push the door open. The hallway itself was much the same as on the first floor, though it was certainly worse for ware. The walls were covered in an oozing black, ink-like substance, and a couple doors were completely gone. y/n took a step back, only managing to snap one or two pictures of the bizarre scene before she felt something under her begin to shift. The floor below her made an awful cracking sound and some debris crumbled from the ceiling above her. She took a shuttered breath and was about to turn and run when the ceiling suddenly gave out, and everything went dark.

A heavy pressure was the first thing she felt. Then, an excruciating pain shot through her entire body. She tried to scream, but the ruble covering—or rather, crushing—her made any noise impossible. All but her head was trapped. Above her, she could see the hole she had fallen through just barely in the dim light and dust filled air. She coughed, and felt the pressure compress her chest. She wondered, in a hazy and distinctly concussed way, if she was going to die here. Alone, crushed by the heavy cement ceiling of an abandoned building she was never meant to be in. Tears welled in her eyes, and she let them close for a moment before she felt something drip onto her face. ‘Blood?’ she wondered. Her eyes fell on the hole she'd fallen through to see that the inky black stuff was dripping down from the floor above and landing directly on her face.

If she could move, or even feel, her arms, she would have immediately tried to wipe the strange goo off her cheek, but she was immobilized and could only watch in disgust as the black sludge dripped onto her. Then, she felt the inky stuff move. And she froze. The slime wriggled against her skin and she could only hope it wasn't some sort of poison as she felt the thing be absorbed into her skin.

Something changed at that moment. Y/n couldn’t tell what, but something did. She felt her arms twitch, and then her legs—which she was certain were completely broken—seemed to snap back together. She cried out in pain as her body's bones corrected themselves, her scraped skin gluing itself back together before she felt the same black sludge engulf her entire body.

Something was definitely wrong with her. That's the first thought that passed through y/n's mind when she felt herself standing, the rubble that was crushing her now light, and her body, which had previously been torn apart by the fall and subsequent cruising of all her bones, now felt strong, mended and somehow improved. She moved, though she felt as though it was both not her own movements and completely of her own volition. She lifted her hand and- oh. Yes, something was in fact very, very wrong with y/n. Her own hand was gone—or rather, covered by a longer and, well, sharper one. Her skin was instead a black inky mass of sorts—the inky sludge that had covered her no doubt—and her fingers were longer and clawed. She looked down at herself and was met with the same sight. An inky black mass was now replacing her once distinctly human form.

She must’ve passed out then, because when she finally came to, she was once again in the forest, laying on her back and staring up at the stars. She lifted her hand, which was shaky and scratched, but no longer broken or made of slime, so she supposed that was an improvement.

“It's about time you woke up.”

A voice said, and she sat up, looking around frantically for whatever had spoken, but found only forest. She tugged at her sleeve nervously. “Jesus, I must be losing it..” she muttered, trying to steady her rapid heart beat.

“Think again, kid,” the voice spoke again, this time accompanied by a…head? It seemed to be emerging from her back. She turned, but there was no one behind her. That was, apart from the head, now grinning. Its mouth, which was put on full display thanks to that damned smile, was large and full of sharp teeth. its eyes were white and angular, staring into her very soul.

“

“W-what…” She could feel herself break out in a cold sweat, goosebumps covering her skin. “What the fuck are you…?” She asked, because what else could she even say?

“We are Venom.” it said, and her brow furrowed.

“We?”

“You and I, kid. We are Venom. And we are hungry.”

She shook her head, forcing herself onto her feet. “For what? People!?” She stared at the head.

“You learn quickly.” it—Venom—replied, and y/n’s heart dropped to her feet.

“No. Absolutely not.” She took a step back, but Venom, of course, wasn’t exactly going anywhere. “I'm not doing any of this little shop of horrors bullshit!” She was practically screaming at this point. ‘this whole thing is crazy!’

“You owe me, kid. I saved your skin; now it's your turn.” Venom said, its grin growing impossibly larger.

“I-i never asked for your help! I didn't even know you were…alive.” She shuddered at the memory of the inky slime covering her.

“Come on, y/n. You scratch my back, I scratch yours.”

she froze, her blood running cold. “H-how do you know my name…?” She asked, and Venom made a noise that was probably supposed to be a laugh.

“Oh, I know everything about you, y/n l/n. I'm inside your head.” She flinched as venom leaned closer, its black tendrils brushing against her skin. “I know you want power. You want to be seen. I can give that to you.”

she shook her head. “No, no! You’re… you‘re not real…”

She turned and began to walk, ignoring the voice that continued to speak.

“Come on, kid. I know you want to.”

“Shut up! You don't know anything about me!” She forced herself to walk faster, stepping over logs and roots as she finally made her way out of the forest and onto a street. “This is fucking insane. I’m losing my god damn mind…” She muttered to herself, walking down the sidewalk. She didn’t recognize the part of town she was in, but that was the last thing on her mind. She must've been walking aimlessly for quite a while, because when she stopped, she realized she was in the middle of the sidewalk in an area of town where a young woman definitely wouldn't want to be alone at such an hour.

“Don't be scared kid, you have us now.”

She startles, glancing around to try and spot the head of Venom, but not seeing any sign of it. “God, don't do that shit!” She hissed, rubbing the nape of her neck as though to remove Venom from her all together.

She moved to start walking again when a noise stopped her dead in her tracks. It definitely sounded like a cry of some kind. She looked around, and wrapped her arms around herself nervously. Y/n slowly walked forward, not making it very far before she heard the noise again, and turned to stare into an alley.

She narrowed her eyes; somewhere in the darkness she can see the form of two people, one cowering on the ground and the other standing menacingly over them. She bristled. ‘A mugging?’ That was probably the best case scenario all things considered.

“We could help.” venom said, its tendrils curling around her arm. “You want to. Just give me control.”

She took a sharp breath. She could save them, but would the cost be worth it?

She didn’t get to finish thinking, because the looming figure pounced causing the person on the ground to shriek, and then something inside her snapped and she became Venom.

The fight, if you could even call it that, didn't last long. Venom wasn't lying when it said it was hungry, and the assailant was no match for its jaws. The person huddled on the ground—a woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties—had run the second the person attacking her was distracted. Good.

Y/n tried not to think about what just happened, even as venom retreated back into her and she ran from the alley, not stopping until she was standing in front of her dorm building. She unlocked the door, stepping inside and letting out a sigh of relief as she collapsed onto her creaky bed, burying her face in her pillow, and then promptly getting back up to go vomit in her toilet.

Venom was quiet for a while, and she hoped it was because it knew she needed time, but maybe it was just digesting. She didn't sleep much that night.

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Spider Man landed on a roof near the alley he had heard the screams from. It was quiet now, but he knew that wasn't necessarily a good sign. He dropped into the alley, looking around for any signs of someone in danger, and froze. A puddle of blood, some black, inky looking substance, and a woman's purse were the only things in the alley. He picked up the bag and cracked it open, retrieving a wallet and then an ID. He looked around—whoever left the blood was gone, but they obviously weren't looking to rob anyone, considering the wad of cash still in the woman's purse. He was about to investigate further when he heard sirens and carefully placed the purse down; they would have an easier time returning this to its owner after all. He swung out of the alleyway, still unsure what exactly went down in the small amount of time it had taken him to get to the scene.

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#cherries fanfictions✧*｡٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*｡#spiderman x reader #spider man #spiderman x venom!reader #angst #venom!reader #fanfic #the amazing spider man #x fem!reader #x female reader #tasm peter parker x reader #peter parker x reader #venom #fanfiction series #series #tw: violence #tw: blood #Venomous.

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meanbossart · 10 months ago

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DU DROW LORE ASK COMPILATION: COMPANIONS, ASTARION'S READING HABITS, AND HIS LONG-INQUIRED OPINIONS ABOUT BODILY WASTE REVEALED.

I don't think "discussed" is the right word, more so mocked her for her blind faith and got into brief spats. It was precisely Shadowheart's water-off-a-duck's-back attitude towards his remarks that kind ingratiated her to him - DU drow spoke his mind, she took it in stride and remained firm in her beliefs without arguing or trying to push it on him. That, alongside the fact that they are surprisingly similar people is what brought them together as friends.

Even long after the events of the game he's still opposed to her hopping from Shar to Selune, also. Shadowheart's attachment to religion is simply something they agree to disagree about.

Can I answer your question with one of my own?

Am I the only idiot that killed her in their first run LOL

BUT YES, he killed Lae'zel when she tried to murder suicide the camp and I went through the whole game without her. I didn't go to the creche either!

I have since had other runs and she's actually one of my favorite characters, I just haven't had the chance to draw her yet.

ACTUALLY - scratch that. I've drawn her once-

Somewhat! But not really. He genuinely just likes jewelry, and rings are the only kind that suit his life-style (necklaces and earrings are a hazard during fighting) this is a reference to his bhaalist days when he used to be completely covered in the stuff day and night.

Hence why he finds them comforting to have on in some way or another. They change around because he gets bored of/misplaces runs out of fingers to wear the new rings that he loots constantly.

The great link in question

I don't know if it's been made clear enough, but DU drow's love for Astarion is borderline pathological, LOL. He's got a good humor about things and Astarion is definitely no stranger to having little quips and jokes made at his expense (a few references to him being Pointy And Long here and there, for sure), but the guy overwhelmingly adores him and thinks he's always the prettiest girl at the ball, even when he gets in his face and his nose looks huge.

I'll be honest, Astarion strikes me as the kind of guy that has like, 3 really weird books he really enjoys and reads them again and again very slowly over the course of years. Otherwise, not really a reader, but I digress -

DU drow was probably never a big reader himself, I would say he got started on a couple of books back in the day but likely never finished any. He's fairly intelligent, but most of his downtime was spent managing the cult and parsing through relevant documentation.

I definitely don't think he'd have the attention-span for fiction (which I picture as being said books that Astarion enjoys) but he does like to snuggle up with his beau to watch him read - every once in a while he catches a particularly scandalous line or description and they bicker about it. He makes a remark, Astarion feels obligated to explain the context, it devolves into some playful kind of argument that ends with Astarion telling him to go dig a hole and die in it while playing with his hair - The usual LOL.

Oh man I have a few more in-dept descriptions of how that went, both lore-wise and just for me as the player - but in summary, DU drow was pretty mean to everyone earlier on in the game and he did catch onto Astarion's very obvious and obnoxious seduction attempts very clearly. He doesn't like being so desperately pursued and they actually got off on the extremely wrong foot because of it, LOL.

After being unpromptedly rejected at the tiefling party he was a little more enticed by him, basically the "no" was his "go". I like to think of it like Astarion catching onto the fact that his initial strategy wasn't working and that this man in particular needed him to play hard to get - from that point on, DU drow started playing along. DU knew this was still a game, but now they were playing it on even ground so he was fine with it.

First of all - he inexplicably got butt-ass naked for the event.

All in all he liked it a whole lot and it was his re-introduction to the concept of pain being dished out as a form of love and his deep enjoyment of it.

Thank you so much, glad to hear you get some joy out of my work!

Dang it I had a pretty good write-up about his thoughts on Wyll from a long time ago, but I can't find it 😭

In summary, Wyll was a frustrating person for him to be around because of what he viewed to be a deeply ingrained naivete about the world. He shockingly didn't hate him (Wyll is kind of difficult to hate) but he never really saw him as an equal either, and definitely not as a friend. Du drow just desperately wanted him to express something that he would perceive as a genuine emotion; some kind of outburst or show of anger or frustration, but all he ever saw was someone trying to put on an act of performative heroism that he didn't buy at all.

At the same time, Wyll was far too young for him to be too mad. He might have held his father more accountable for making the guy into what he was than Wyll himself, really.

Can a man be scared of being scared? Because if so, it's that.

He also doesn't like shit a normal amount. (piss is fine depending on whose it is.)

#Guys I got my inbox under 80 messages #please clap #On the other hand #I also found more that I want to draw answers for #god help me #ask compilation #du drow lore

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snailsgoingdowntown · 4 months ago

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Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Leads Sister-in-Law!

Story Masterlist

Chapter 8

‘Slight’ Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader

Arranged marriage AU

Warnings: panic attack, vomit, self-harm (biting thumb hard enough until it bleeds), slight blood, mention/allusions to murder, very slight suicide ideation, one (1) suggestive line, implied child abuse, Maria being lowkey creepy (again), uncertainty about loving future kids, please tell me if I missed any.

NOTE: while I am happy that people enjoy this story, please stop blowing up my inbox about when the next chapter(s) will come out. Or telling me I should hurry up. Thank you.

NOTE #2: there isn't going to be any romance involving Roxana or any of the other characters and the reader.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE HARMFUL AND/OR DANGEROUS/TOXIC ACTIONS THAT MAY TAKE PLACE IN THIS PIECE OF FICTION. THESE ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS SHOULD NOT BE NORMALIZED NOR ROMANTICIZED AS THEY ARE BOTH EXTREMELY TOXIC AND DANGEROUS.

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/ BLOGS THAT DO NOT INTERACTION WITH NOR REBLOG FANDOM STUFF DNI (MAYBE ANIMAL BLOGS ARE OKAY BECAUSE THEY’RE CUTE). PLEASE DO NO NOT SPAM LIKE MY POSTS.

= = =

Roxana’s heels clack against the tiled hallway as she glides through, making way to her room. Blond waves gently swaying with each step, the young girl can’t hold back the scowl that tears at her lips. Brows furrowed, her thoughts were full of the recent events - the dinner.

She didn’t mean to intrude. As a matter of fact, while curious, she had no intention of doing more than taking a quick glance - to see if what Jeremy said was true, that Dion Agriche was indeed having dinner with his poor, pitiful bride.

Jeremy got there before her.

Hiding within the shadows, the boy was glaring daggers into the favorite son. So engrossed with the scene presented to him, Jeremy didn’t notice Roxana as she got closer and closer. No, the brash boy had announced himself before she could even pat his shoulder. Like a wild boar, he interrupted your dinner, uncaring for how it made him look. Not that he ever would.

And perhaps out of pity on your behalf, or sick curiosity to see how everything pans out, she showed herself as well.

An hour prior to the incident Roxana and Jeremy talked about you, the newest family member. She wasn’t the one who brought you up, but rather Jeremy. Her younger half-brother had asked her what she thought about the situation. It was the first time he asked.

‘Well… It is strange. I thought that father would have waited longer before finding Dion a wife, much less holding the wedding.’ If anything, Roxana had assumed Lant wouldn’t have married him off until he was on his deathbed - an outsider would cause distractions for the rest of the family, no matter who she’s married to.

‘Yeah,’ Jeremy agrees, a borderline sneer on his face, ‘but it’s stupid. She won’t last long.’

‘Shorter than a month?’

‘No, longer. But I’m not sure how much longer. Still, to be married to that bastard… She's fucked. Pretty sure she’s begging God to kill her already, or to keep him away and indifferent.’

The blond beauty stared at her brother in question. ‘This isn’t like you, Jeremy. Did you meet her before or is it because Dion is the one involved?’

He doesn’t answer immediately, grumbling out words she didn’t catch. ‘Watch, she’s going to puke in disgust soon.’ Blue eyes narrowing in annoyance, Roxana only becomes more confused. What’s with this sudden interest with a sacrificial bride?

‘Jeremy,’ she says, gingerly patting his head, ‘This is the first time you’ve shown interest in anyone. Why is that?’ Asking him directly, she hopes that she’ll easily draw answers from him. But, for once, he doesn’t budge. It’s concerning.

‘Xana, I heard they’re going to have dinner together later today. Do you think that guy will show up?’ Ignoring her question, he asks his own. A frown tugs at her coral lips. But seeing how aggravated he is, she decides to humor him. Just this once.

‘I’m not sure. If it was on father’s orders, then yes, of course. His word is law.’

‘What makes you so sure he’ll listen to all?’

She blinks at him, taken aback. It wasn’t often she gets rendered speechless, especially by her own younger brother. But his response also amuses her - hearing his resentment towards the twenty-year-old was always amusing.

‘Xana, he’s crazy. It’s only going to get worse.’ He’s not making a lick of sense - It’s not like Dion wanted the marriage. It was just an order given to the obedient soldier.

Before Roxana could respond, she got called away to Lant’s office, the butler bowing nervously after he brought the news.

Returning to the present, the blond lets out a deep sigh, a headache forming the longer she thinks about it. This wasn’t how the story went. There wasn’t a grand wedding for any of the Agriche family members - the closest thing was when Jeremy kidnapped Sylvia, and even then, that couldn’t be considered romantic.

Nothing in the story was romantic.

…not like her brother’s marriage to you was, either.

Nothing made sense and it’s bothersome. Concerning even, for the moment you entered this play, she became unsure of when or if Cassis Pedelain will show up - what if nothing follows the storyline at all, no matter how small? She knows he exists, she saw him at the wedding. Shining silver hair that reminds her of the moon and golden eyes that were filled to the brim with caution towards her family and the wedding, the male lead of this story exists.

But you didn’t.

Maybe in the original work, you did, as a nameless background character. Faith unknown and unimportant, you somehow stumbled across the stage, entangled in strings that now control your every move. It worries her - you worry her. Roxana can’t tell if you’re friend or foe, if you’ll survive and stay sane, if you’ll die soon, if she should consider taking you under her wing, seeing how you were nothing more than a victim.

A sacrifice.

But she doesn’t have that luxury. Ensuring her own survival was hard enough - how could she take care of a second person? Why should she bother herself with you?

You don’t serve any other purpose than being arm candy, a woman seen as nothing more than an incubator by your father-in-law. She doubts Dion cares for you; during the planning period he didn’t act out of character. He acted the same around her, still the annoying son of a bitch he’s always been.

…but, a few days before the wedding he kept his distance. Unconcerned with her presence, he made a few last minute purchases. Away from the prying eyes of Lant, Dion also added a secret guest - the doctor known as Ash Katopodis.

She heard a rumor that he also sent the redhead to you instead of the doctor Lant had appointed behind his back. The fifteen-year-old had found it strange once word reached her ears, brushing it aside after concluding it was gossip for gossip sake. While it was bold of the servants to say such things, Roxana saw no point in punishing them for their senseless rumors - it had nothing to do with her. If they wanted to play with their lives with risky talk, then that was on them.

Upon reaching her room, she stops short of opening the door, manicured nails tapping against the door handle. She didn’t mean to intrude on your alone time with the brute. Yet she did and the sight of Dion in such a domestic setting made her sick.

Disgust threatening to tip over the scale, it’s hard for her not to sneer at the mere memory of it. Domesticity does not suit Dion. He does not deserve it. Playing house with an unwilling girl, dressed in pure white as the veil hid her anxiety and fright laid within her eyes and painted on her lips. Scared and left hopeless as her family watched as she kissed the monster, powerless.

Your parents didn’t exactly look thrilled during the wedding. She remembers the way your father halted before handing you over to his new son-in-law.

The holy church in which the wedding was held became corrupted when the second Lant Agriche picked it out, Maria fussing over the details. Who sits where, ‘gently’ probing your mother into agreeing with the dress the third wife had picked, your makeup and hairstyle, the fucking lingerie until Sierra pointed out how weird it was for the mother-in-law to pick out such an erotic and intimate thing for the girl who was to be her daughter-in-law.

During the ceremony, Jeremy had kept mumbling to himself, clearly done with the whole ordeal. Obviously, Roxana was as well, but kept a pretty smile on, greeting you after the vows were said and said her goodbyes as you were dragged away to the bridal chamber. Only to find out the next morning by Emily that you didn’t go there, instead led into the lion’s den that is Dion’s room.

How… odd.

No… what was odder was that you didn’t have separate rooms. Emily had told her as such out of the blue, preparing her breakfast. She questioned it then, and it’s only weirder, more worrisome the longer she thinks about it.

She shakes the memories away. It wasn’t her life. She had enough trouble on her plate already - she couldn’t possibly add you to the list of her neverending responsibilities she’s forced to juggle. She could pity you, but never love you. Touch you but never hold you. Talk to you but never make a genuine connection as sisters should.

She should stop with this foolish nonsense.

Turning the handle, she glides right in, letting the door shut behind her. Emily had retired for the night, and the blond also ordered Hana to do the same. After all, Lant had given Dion another mission, and the favorite son had to prepare to leave in the morning, too busy to bother you.

… why am I so focused on her…?

The moonlight lights up her room through the glass doors that lead to the terrace. With a huff, she sits in her vanity, and starts to remove her makeup with removal cream. It’s greasy as her dainty fingers spread it across her face, each action copied by the mirror. It’s quiet.

Her thoughts refuse to shut up, however.

‘What’s going on with Lant…? Choosing a daughter-in-law from a nearly unheard of family? Do they have something he wants and only used this marriage as a means to get closer? Most likely, but why? Not to mention Dion’s behavior right before the wedding…

A frown tugs at her lips, face completely bare after she pats it down with a face towel. Ruby eyes stare into the reflection before her, and Roxana only sees frustration and confusion. She can’t rely on her memories of the story anymore.

She won’t be sure until the faithful day when her father kidnaps Cassis Pedelian, the Blue Heir. And even then, how could she be sure that it would be the same Cassis Pedelain that was mentioned in the novel? The same goes for his sister, Sylvia.

“...things are getting complicated.” Standing, her feet take her to the bed and she lays on it, back pressed against the mattress. The crystal chandelier sparkles in the moonlight. Ruby optics disappear behind her eyelids, blond lashes casting shadows on smooth skin. The night is still young.

A small smile of amusement forms on her lips when she remembers your earlier conversation. You had called her an interesting person - far from what others say. They called her lovely, a Goddess of beauty - and you?

You called her interesting.

Still, you couldn’t hide the admiration for her in your eyes. You weren’t a stumbling fool and understood what her look meant when Jeremy went too far. But the most fascinating thing?

You listened to mental caution and drew a line, uncomfortable with her, with them, the gears turning in your head on what to do next. You even separated yourself from her without hesitation once the moment presented itself.

Regardless, you admired her in spite of your clear discomfort.

“...I must be tired.”

You called her an interesting person. In return, she’ll call you a fool.

- - -

His side of the bed was cold, patting it as your bleary eyes and murky mind clear up. Still half-dressed, you ignore how uncomfortable it is. No, right now, what you are focused on is the way your beating heart is thrashing against your rib cage, how cold your body has become, beads of sweat building and rolling down your temples, on the verge of gasping for air. Did you just fuck yourself over?

You don’t know what time it was - the sun was high in the bright, blue sky, birds singing their lovely tunes. The occasional footsteps passing by, the far off voices as the servants go about their business. None of them knock on the door. None come to ‘wake’ you up.

Or, if they had, it must have been a good while ago. Were you so deep asleep that they gave up?

“...He’s going to kill me, isn’t he… hah…” A humorless laugh passes through your chest, shoulders slumping as nothing but regret fills your head and chest. Are you going to be killed today? Or maybe tortured? Thrown out like disgusting leftovers?

You don’t want to die. Ah, but what could you possibly do? Get on your hands and knees like a dog and beg for forgiveness? …no. You’re already pathetic enough, you don’t want to lower yourself even more. Fuck.

“...Ah, fuck, what should I do?” Putting your thumb sideways in your mouth, your teeth clamp down on the poor digit. The taste of iron explodes in your mouth, teeth marks left behind on the now wounded and bleeding flesh.

A throbbing headache decides to join, adding physical pain to the list of your suffering. You bite down on your thumb harder. It feels like it might just snap in two but your mind is too fried to realize this. The only thing you can think about is last night.

Your husband was gone. Where did he go? Maybe he decided to leave you, seeing you as a broken toy he doesn’t want anymore. Does that mean he’ll give the least back to Lant? Is that why he isn’t here? To discuss how to dispose of you?

The thought makes your stomach churn, saliva glands overfilling as bile starts to raise. You were given to them as a pet - as some twisted sacrifice, and for what? Did this family want nothing else but a new ‘toy,’ to see how long a normal person would last within these walls? What then?

If they decide to kill you, or if you kill yourself out of desperation, what would they tell your parents? No, they wouldn’t tell them anything to begin with.

And your family wouldn’t be able to ask.

“Urk…” dry heaving, slapping your hand over your mouth, panicked tears forming. Your entire body shakes, blood staining the bed as your injured hand grasps at the sheets. “URK!” Without a thought you rush out of bed, slamming yourself down on your knees as you reach the trash can. All of your stomach continents come up, the foul taste of vomit coming forth. Your vision burns white before returning.

Hot tears run down your cheeks as you heave over the trash, blurring your vision. You’re breathing too heavily. You look at the door a few feet away from you. If anyone was right outside it, they would have heard you.

“...” You wait for a knock or for someone to burst through the doors with bated breath, your eyes shaking in their sockets, knees throbbing after the harsh impact. No-one comes. It is only you - alone in this room, a sinner who is paying the price. Must you go through this for a sin you’ve forgotten until now?

The answer is yes.

The answer is yes as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. The answer is yes as you force yourself to stand, knees painfully throbbing as the flesh bruises. The answer is yes as your thumb still bleeds, teeth marks engraved into the skin. The answer is yes as your heart refuses to calm down, chest hurting.

The answer is yes as you walk over to the vanity, the reflection of a face that doesn’t look like your own.

You are a mess.

You are frail.

The tears don’t stop flowing as the urge to vomit returns. Crystalline droplets catch on your lashes, ugly sobs and hiccups breaking out, your shoulders shaking as you collapse onto the leather stool seat. A sinner always pays the price.

You bury your face into your hands, entire body jerking with each sob, each hiccup as anxiety for the future and present overtakes everything. This isn’t like you. But you were never strong enough to survive in an environment like this. You were pathetic.

Seconds turn into minutes and maybe even into hours. Time is a concept that you don’t bother yourself with by the time you finally calm down, red puffy eyes staring into the mirror as the tear streaks dry on your cheeks. Some snot peeks out from your nostril, hair a mess, clothes crumbled and sliding down, showing more of your cleavage. Such an unsightly sight.

Would he be amused with this? Snicker and degrade you as he reveals last night was a test and that you had failed?

Grabbing a face towel on the vanity desk, you wipe off the tears and snot.

“...Okay. Let’s… get cleaned up.” Your limbs feel heavy, dragging your feet towards the closet before finally, finally striping out of your clothes from yesterday. The articles of clothing pools at your feet.

How much longer can I last here?

Will there ever be a peaceful divorce? Can I divorce him? Would I be able to?

If the story events do take place and Roxana takes over the Agriche family… by then… would I have children…?

BAM!

Your poor knees-! At the thought of having children - his children - your body just gives up again, as always. That’s the only thing you’re capable of, as experience has shown.

“...children… right, children… I have to give birth to that man’s children… children that will go through the same thing he went through…” Will you be able to love them, if they come into existence? You have to, they would be yours.

Or would you end up just like Jeremy’s mother? Horrified at the sight of her own child, refusing to spend time with them. Seeing them as an irredeemable monster that you would do anything and everything to avoid?

Chomp

Your thumb once again becomes a victim to your teeth, the imprint becoming deeper and drawing more blood. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts- but as the thought of starting a family with Dion Agriche deepens, the more you need to find something sturdy. Your thumb is enough to keep you grounded, yes, it is, and no, you’re not planning an early funeral, visualizing the area you want to hold it, or the dress your cold corpse would wear, or your family’s crying faces -

No, stop it. This isn’t - this isn’t… this isn’t what I want to be.

Licking the flesh wound, accepting the taste and smell of iron, you are not met with clarity nor bravery; just, temporary acceptance. This is your life. This was what the Gods had planned for you. This is what you have become - a wife to the future Black Agriche Heir.

His first wife.

Despite the blood and saliva, your mouth feels dry. Nausea builds back up, gagging and breath becoming short. It’s becoming hard to breathe.

Your lungs are being squeezed, throat constricted with an invisible ball gag - vision blurred with what? What’s this hot liquid running down your cheeks? Are you crying ? Again?

Something is choking you. Your head is starting to feel fuzzy, a pounding in your chest you can’t get. Everything is warped, shapes turning into mush, black merging with white, a hammer bashing against your head. Only the sound of rushing blood and a running heart is heard. Only the thought of death remains.

Only the fact you’re now a wife, a member of Agriche Black stays.

“No…no, I - I - this-!” You curl into yourself, kneeling as your forehead touches the floor, hands interlocked around your head as your lower arms and elbows rest on the tiles. Sobbing violently, your mind crashes again. You were never strong.

Not then, not now.

- - -

“Young master Dion has been sent off on an errand; the dinner with Master Lant has been postponed until tomorrow, at six o’clock.” Hana informs you as she sets out your breakfast: oatmeal and water. Just what your now very sensitive stomach and nerves need. Did she overhear your little mental breakdown not even an hour ago? Or was this the usual breakfast for the residents of the Agriche compound?

“I see.” You hoarsely reply, voice still recovering. This is a good thing - you don’t have to see the devil’s face for yet another day. Her news also answers your question; Dion is out on an errand and they weren’t planning to axe you. Yet. Hopefully never.

Still, the curiosity of your husband’s duties lingers. You shouldn’t involve yourself anymore than what you currently are. Curiosity always kills the cat. So, you bite your tongue, deciding against asking her what your oh so lovely husband’s chore is… but, if you are to play the role as a wife, his wife, should you ask him once he returns? Like how one would greet their spouse once they return from work.

Hello dear… ick, no. Hey, how was your day… no, next. Are you tired? Do you want a bath…?

Hana witnesses how you cringe but remains silent. Unaware of this, you continue to think of possible things to say, possible ways to greet him.

…or maybe you should just ignore the subject altogether. His business isn’t yours, so why bother?

Besides, what if he doesn’t like you ‘snooping’ in his business? But at the same time, he’s been acting so weird and unlike how he was portrayed in the story. So while that Dion would find your questions annoying or useless, this Dion may want you to ask about his day. Fuck, it’s all so confusing and irritating

“Hm. Hana, is there anything on today’s schedule?”

“No, not yet my lady.”

Not yet. What does she mean by not yet? Does that mean she’s aware that someone will interrupt your tiny bit of peace at some point today? Her short dark brown hair slightly bounces as she shuffles her weight onto one leg. “However, my lady, I could… tell them that you’re recovering from ‘last night.’”

Her suggestion makes your grip on the cup loose, dropping the glass onto your lap as water soaks it.

“My lady! Are you alright?” In a panic, Hana grabs some of the napkins on the table and pats your lap to soak up some of the water after removing the now empty glass. “My apologies - I shouldn’t have brought up such a vulgar suggestion…” Her once collected face and behavior shatters at the drop of a hat, ‘concerned’ about your safety.

Or was it for hers?

“I-it’s fine… no worries,” your tight lipped smile only makes her brows furrow more and treats you gentler. Like you were made of glass. Well, that wouldn’t be too far from the truth…

“No, really. I just need to change clothes…” Once she’s done with soaking most of the water up you stand and walk to the closet. Opening the doors you skim over the options. Hana’s footsteps stop right behind you. Why is it so hard to have personal space in this place…

Your gaze travels upwards and for the first time, do you notice the Agriche family's crest engraved into the wood. Bitterness explodes in your mouth. It seems that no matter where you are in this place, there will always be a physical reminder of where you are - of who you belong to. No matter, you tell yourself. Besides, this isn’t even your room.

It was your husband’s. And maybe after a month, if not less, into your marriage, you’ll be assigned your own. …why were you sharing a room with him to begin with? Probably to increase the chances of conceiving a child sooner rather than later.

“... does that even make sense?” You murmur in amusement. Lant wasn’t even dead yet. But, you think, maybe he wanted his son to have a child so he could start to shape them into this tainted and sadistic mold ahead of time before he kicks the bucket. To ensure that the child - your child - would follow in their father’s footsteps.

To see if they would carry the same air and expectations as your husband does.

How cruel.

“Hana, I’ll let you choose it; they’re all so… beautiful that I can’t choose.” In reality you’re getting a headache from looking at the family crest. Which just became yours.

“...yes, my Lady,” she follows your order without question, going through the options.

Not even a few minutes later she pulls one out.

It matches your husband’s eyes. A brilliant shade of scarlet, it practically glows. A sheer black neck piece that forms as a choker and covers your cleavage but leaves your shoulders bare. Black lace is on the hem, flowers engraved into the pattern. The body of the dress is a solid scarlet.

“It’s beautiful.” You compliment her choice of style hiding how the beautiful piece of clothing makes your fingers twitch and brings the urge to vomit forward. Oh, how horrible it is, to not even be able to enjoy such a sight.

How horrible it is, to be born into this world after a helpless first life, a God’s mercy forgotten.

#twtptflob #yandere twtptflob #twtptflob x reader #dion agriche #dion agrece #yandere dion agriche #yandere dion agrece #dion agriche x reader #yandere dion agriche x reader #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere dion agrece x reader #roxana

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entity56 · 7 months ago

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i dont think its often discussed how traumatic that delusional experiences can be

just the delusion itself. if its overwhelming and long enough it's enough to be chronically traumatic. like. i spent a full year or so believing my soul had left and i was rotting internally. i became obsessed with eating clean to 'heal myself' and ended up becoming borderline orthorexic. i was TERRIFIED of the idea of dying (without a soul there's nowhere to go) but at the same time I wanted to just to get it over with and 'finish the process'. i could feel my organs 'rotting' and 'molding' and 'squirming'. i could feel the bugs and maggots in my body and brain. and I was young, like maybe 13-14 years old during this... I felt this stress EVERY DAY. now outside of a purely fictional context anything to do with the human body, skin or diseases terrifies the shit out of me. im a hypochondriac now. like majorly.

sometimes, somedays, i got hopeful that i did still have a soul, or at least a piece of it, and that if i could JUST get out of my body, I'd be free.

those were really bad days. what i called 'escape attempts' were just paranoia induced self harm.

was anything happening to me? no, but it felt EXTREMELY real. i get flashbacks and delusional 'relapses' and nightmares. that year left a permanent mark on my psyche.

and that's not even to say the stuff that CAN happen during a delusional episode. suicide attempts, being mistaken as aggressive and attacked (SHOCKINGLY common), being alienated by the ones you're supposed to trust, the list goes on and on and on. and you're not allowed to talk about it because thats disturbing. thats weird and gross and bad and schizophrenic/schizospectrum people are crazy and less than human. and trauma means something ! that happened irl ! and those were just delusions it was all in your mind you basketcase.

idk. im rambling. i just know i got an untagged post on my dash saying 'There's mold growing inside of me' and am now nauseous and fighting the idea that that nausea is Actually My Organs Rotting.

praying for a future where neurotypicals treat us with more respect

#tw delusion #cotards syndrome #cotards delusion #schizotypal #schizophrenia #schizospec #actually psychotic #psychosis #rant #vent sorta #longpost #entity says

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imagineakatsuki · 2 months ago

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Hi! Can I please request what types of arguments the Akatsuki members have with their SO and how they make up? Thanks!

Pein/Nagato: They would argue about his declining health, with his s/o urging him to stop the plan and rest while he vehemently refuses because he wants to honor Yahiko’s last request. He never even raises his voice but his frustration is clear, torn between two people that mean a lot to him. The two would give each other the silent treatment afterward (Nagato because he doesn’t know if he ruined things and his s/o because they feel bad for making him choose) until Konan knocks some sense into them.

Konan: They would argue about her attachment to Nagato, but mostly Yahiko. Her s/o would know that she could never let go of her dead love, so it would make them feel like they will always be secondary to someone they never even met. Though it’s not really her fault, she would blame herself for causing her s/o this pain and try to apologize with many little gestures that make it clear how much they mean to her. Still, she would foster that strong affection for Yahiko and hide it from her s/o as much as possible.

Deidara: They would argue about his borderline-suicidal thoughts (and sometimes his obsession with his art, but he’s pretty good about giving his s/o attention and not letting it consume their time together). Once he’s cooled down, Deidara would be the one to apologize first by making a clay sculpture (which doesn’t explode) of something his s/o loves.

Sasori: They would argue about his indifference and lack of care/attention. It’s a 50/50 on whether they actually make up or just ignore the argument ever happened because his aloofness is not something Sasori can just easily change and his s/o realizes that.

Itachi: They would argue about his health and self-sacrificial, self-deteriorating tendencies. His s/o would be passionate during the argument and likely end up yelling because of the lack of reaction from him. It’s not that he doesn’t care - he just doesn’t want to argue with someone he loves. He would probably avoid his s/o for a few days after the argument so it would be up to them to take the first steps to making up (they tell Itachi they forgive him, but require some kind of compromise).

Kisame: They don’t really argue often since he’s hard to anger, but when they do, it would be because his s/o did something to betray his trust. He would be very quiet and hard to talk to during the argument, which intimidates his s/o because the behavior is totally unlike him. It would take Kisame a while (if he ever does) to forgive his s/o; for that reason, they would have to initiate reconciliation and be willing to accept whatever he needs (time, space, rules, etc).

Hidan: They would argue about anything and everything. Topics range from incredibly dumb things to somewhat serious stuff, you just never know. He loves bantering and annoying his s/o, so their arguments are explosive - they can get big and violent, but they don’t last very long. Often, they end with kinky make-up sex (maybe that’s why he starts the arguments in the first place knowing the reward).

Kakuzu: They would argue about his cheapskate habits and tendency to bear things alone, bottling it up until it explodes (sometimes it’s his s/o that gets the brunt of it, but he tries to redirect it to Hidan or some other poor, unlucky fool). Arguing with him can be scary because he has a violent temper and can explode at any time - either that or he’s gruff and closed off. If he ended up hurting or yelling at his s/o, he would eventually apologize first by buying them something that’s somewhat expensive (the words “I’m sorry” may or may not come out of his mouth though).

Obito: They would argue about his possessiveness and the insanity of his Eye of the Moon plan. He would do his best to keep them blind to it, but when his s/o eventually figures out the full extent of it, the ensuing argument would be a heated one. He would attempt to manipulate them to his side, and if that doesn’t work, he would make them forget or put them under genjutsu to keep them with him (he can’t take another person leaving him). Because of this, there is no actual making up in the apology sense - there’s a lot of making up lies, though.

Zetsu: They would argue about his mother and his commitment to her/the plan. His s/o would probably be horrified if they knew the truth, so he does everything in his power to conceal it. Thus, their arguments sound more like a jealous spouse complaining about their needy and overbearing mother-in-law. To avoid them learning the reality, Zetsu would apologize first and be super sweet (awkwardly following human customs by gifting them things or giving them compliments) so their s/o can quickly forgive and forget.

Admin S

#question #akatsuki #deidara #sasori #itachi #kisame #hidan #kakuzu #tobi #obito #zetsu #konan #pein #nagato

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magpod-confessions · 10 months ago

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I feel like the way some of the fandom treats Jon is unfair and tbh borderline ableist. It's not his fault that he got hooked on statements by Elias/Jonah, it's very clear that he was being manipulated into it from the beginning. And even once he starts having to take live statements, he doesn't want to have to! He canonically hates that he has to do that to people for sustenance, but that compulsion isn't within his control.

Like c'mon. It's very heavily implied that he becomes genuinely suicidal because of his self-loathing around this, and how the other people around him are treating him like a monster and demanding he "just control" something that he isn't actually able to. Which isn't to say that Basira/Melanie/Georgie/s5!Martin etc. don't have the right to feel that way/that their responses aren't understandable, but they still aren't fair to Jon.

Jon's existence such as it is might not be fair, because his presence does harm others unintentionally. But sometimes that's how things are, and it's equally if not more unfair for the others to act like he's just a monster who should be put down and is selfish for continuing to want to live and be healthy.

Honestly, it sort of feels like some of the fandom has ignored/forgotten that the situation Jon is in isn't unique to a horror story, and in fact has many parallels in real life (whether that be addiction, mental disorder/disability, trauma, etc.) and that to take the view of "well he should've just Not Done That Stuff, skill issue, anyways you can't blame the others for how they treated him" is not exactly going to make actual people who are/have been in situations like that feel welcome in fandom spaces.

🗣️ (but no pressure)

I yea. Agree! I feel you can definitely have a discussion abt how much control Jon has over his actions, but at the end of the day, Jon has been manipulated to hell and back. But I also feel that a lot of it comes from a place of 'If I was in his situation I wouldnt do that' which has some victim blaming undertones, but also hes a fictional character in a fictional setting, which definitely influences how ppl talk abt him. If someone irl talked abt being abused and manipulated, along with having their addiction/disability taken advantage of, even if that same person would go on and on abt how 'The persons actually fine and its my fault' ppl likely would be very kind and take the situation very srsly, which isnt the same kind of reaction ppl have towards Jon, due to him being a fictional character - rosette

yeah i. heavily agree with this too anon. im way too tired to put any true thought into this like rosette did but yeah. people really dont take jons situation serious, and this extends to other characters in the series as well. the fandom doesn't often think further about avatars past 'haha they have to serve a dread power and they cant do anything about it' . - deceit

#why did i go off abt this. its nearly 7 and i havent slept. why am i like this - r #magpod #tma #the magnus archives #magpod confession #🗣

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midnight--sadness · 4 months ago

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had an idea—early 2010 games, like 2012/2013. gi-hun is VERY newly postpartum and looking for ways to make any money for his baby. in-ho doesn’t really give a shit about anything and is just looking for a semi-honorable way to die bc of the death of his last mate or some other circumstance.

I think it would actually be really interesting for in-ho’s character especially, because we know he’s very sensitive to things like pregnancy and children. I think it would be sick to see how he would react to postpartum stuff, especially considering he never actually got to live through it. The development of him going borderline suicidal to “I have to protect you, no matter what.” wondering how he would react to gi-hun’s postpartum heavy bleeding, difficulty walking/being physically active, etc.

I had this really vivid idea of gi-hun being insistent he can’t let his milk dry up, because if they do vote to get out and he leaves with nothing, he won’t be able to afford formula. Idk just. The thought of gi-hun in the bathroom w in-ho rubbing his back/holding his hand while he has to waste everything into the toilet or paper towels because the pressure gets to be too painful. (I thought abt in-ho “assisting”, i says horny-ly, but i think it would take away from the narrative)

so basically it would leave in-ho w/ very difficult decisions like

a) gotta kill a shitton of people to make sure everyone votes out so gi-hun can get away

b) kill a lot of people to ensure him winning, at the expense of his own life (which is worst case scenario for him, bc he LOVES milky bbygirl and wants to stay with him/care for him on the outside)

c) idk some other scenarios I haven’t thought of. asking to hear other perspectives/thoughts

note: gi-hun’s baby wouldn’t be in-ho’s, would be some jackass alpha’s who abandoned him w/ it because he was in debt or couldn’t accept responsibility. Another motivator for in-hun, he’s got a vendetta against the mf for essentially forcing baby mama gi-hun into dying to save his own baby—basically same thing that happened to in-ho’s wife different flavor

ooohhhhh i love this!!

i'm assuming that gihun's baby would be gayeong.

in this case, maybe inho signed up for the games but before he could actually be picked up and taken to the island, his wife and child both died. and now he kinda has to go to the games anyway since he cant pull out (lol), maybe even to repay the money that he was given by that unknown criminal.

so there they are, an alpha grieving his mate and child and a newly postpartum omega.... the possiblities are so delicious!!

i like to think that the first game is always red light, green light because it eliminates a large ammount of players (kind of like the cornucopia bloodbath in the hunger games). so, inho is there, considering not even making his way across the field when gihun's scent reaches him. he smells sweet, like honey and milk, clearly a new mother and inho's alpha instincts immediately put him on alert. maybe he is especially sensitive since his body was preparing to be a father and he needed to immediately pick up the scent of his new pup (or whatever idk). and he sees how gihun is moving, hand clasped to his belly, still sore from birth and thinks "i need to protect him".

gihun basically becomes the reason inho actually tries to survive the games. taking care of him calms inho down, makes him "docile" in a sense, and even when gihun is stressed and on the verge of a breakdown bc it isnt normal for omegas to be separated from their babies so soon after birth, inho helps him relax, telling him that he will do anything to get gihun to see his baby again and gihun, our sweet girl, says that inho has to get out alive as well so he can meet gayeong.

inho has no issues with killing other players if necessary, doing anything to ensure gihun leaves during the next vote. but as the money piles up people get greedier and not even their lives are worth much....

if they stay for most of the games, i can see inho helping gihun with his milk is a more traditional way, since breastfeeding helps the uterus contract and lowers general pains and aches in the body. it would kinda relax inho as well, since helping this omega would make his alpha hindebrain feel proud to be useful.

when they get out, both richer than ever, gihun introduces inho to gayeong (who had been staying with his mother). gihun and inho bond and inho becomes gayeong's new father and like two years later he gets gihun pregnant with twins 🫶🫶

#abo dynamics #seong gi-hun #hwang in-ho #inhun #457 #ginho #squid game #asks #yapping 4ever

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empathizewiththemoon · 3 months ago

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Guh.. here’s a shitpost teehee since I have no art.. and Damion’s relationship with Mind

TW MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND SELF HARM(DW it’s not well written so yeah)

Alright so, as I have already established, Damion is the love interest of CCCC(my love interest.) Unfortunately for Whole, Damion is aroace(if you saw my original post.. no you didn’t.. he’s aroace now.) Damion still loves and cherishes Whole as a friend, but this isn’t about Whole, this is about Mind. So, basically at the end of the CCCC album, I interpret it as Whole spitting into HMS. When this spilt happens, them getting rejected is still fresh, and they each react in a different way. We’ll be talking about how Mind reacts and copes. I originally wanted Mind to be the most cold and distant one, not wanting anything to do with Damion as he holds grudges, long grudges. Until, @therewillbenoromance started being a fucking simp, and then I got the idea, what if Mind doesn’t accept the rejection? So, Ethan is the whole reason for why I made Damion and Minds relationship this, so thank him or whatever.

Anyways, Mind is the most obsessed with Damion, he doesn’t accept the fact they got rejected and tries everything in his power to get Mind back. Even though his intentions are pure and have no intention of hurting Damion(since that’s the last thing he wants to do) he’s still borderline harassing Damion. Damion is weirded out and keeps his distance from Mind because of this. He loves Whole, Heart, and Soul, since even after the reaction, they treat him kindly and don’t force anything on to him. Even though Heart and Soul are still sorta persistent, Damion doesn’t mind, since they’re only doing little things, like buying him flowers. But after awhile, Soul and Heart stop doing this, they don’t get over him but they understand that it was never meant to be, as much as it hurts. And oh boy, Mind doesn’t get the memo, he’s always doing the most for Damion.

Flower, chocolates, a whole ass presentation on why they should get together, it gets weird. And Damion hates that, he doesn’t necessarily hate Mind.. but, as I said, he keeps his distance from Mind. As in the photo above, Mind will randomly say stuff like “I want you”.. and Damion definitely doesn’t know how to react. Damion is also significantly taller than HMSW, I headcannon Whole likes taller people. Which means, HMS also like taller people. Let’s just say.. Mind likes it a bit too much-.. always insisting to sit on Damion’s lap.. yeah.. Minds a bit of a freak when it comes to Damion.

Now, I’ve gone a bit in to detail about how Damion feels about Mind, I’ll try and explain how he interacts and feels a bit more. Damion.. oh bless his poor soul, he’s a sweetheart, he hates pushing people off but god, Mind is so insistent.. He has to deny him, and already denying Whole made him feel horrible. When Mind first started these antics, Damion felt horrible and guilt for rejecting Mind every time. But as this went on, Mind started to feel like a nuisance, something he hand to swat away. So Damion no longer feels guilty for rejecting Mind, he’s more cold towards Mind now, barely giving him the time of day. As much as Damion wants to talk to Mind about his antics, he feels incredibly uncomfortable talking face to face with him. So he tried to ask Heart and Soul to talk to Mind, oh boy it did not go well.

Mind denied everything they said, insisting that Damion loved them.. loved him…poor thing, always insisting denial. Unfortunately, as it’s obvious.. Heart and Souls talk with Mind did not work, in fact, it seemed Mind was trying even harder. And, I interpreted “You said that you’d rather die than be seen with me as your man” in Hidden in the Sand as something Whole made up in his mind.. but, after Minds persistence, Damion does in fact say the following:

“GOD! Can’t you leave me the fuck alone!? I’d rather die than be seen with YOU as my man!”

Damion felt horrible after saying this, but felt as if he needed to, so Mind would back off.. Mind did back off, this sent him into a spiral. This one thing Damion said caused Mind to almost commit suicide. Mind harmed himself, a lot, there are certain places on Minds body that are still organic, like his stomach, he had so many ideas on how to kill himself, he tried stabbing himself multiple times, but alas, it somehow didn’t kill him.

DW, Mind got help and is no longer as obsessed.. I mean he’s still weirdly obsessed but he never wants to have a harsh rejection ever again, so he tones it down

Okay that’s all, if yall wanna hear me yap about Damion’s relationship with Heart, Soul, or Whole, just lmk:33 and if there are any spelling errors.. also lmk.. please🙏🙏

Okay bye bye fr

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ginho001 · 4 months ago

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so basically it would leave in-ho w/ very difficult decisions like

a) gotta kill a shitton of people to make sure everyone votes out so gi-hun can get away

b) kill a lot of people to ensure him winning, at the expense of his own life (which is worst case scenario for him, bc he LOVES milky bbygirl and wants to stay with him/care for him on the outside)

c) idk some other scenarios I haven’t thought of. asking to hear other perspectives/thoughts

#I put this in an anonymous ask on someone’s blog but decided to put it here bc I ain’t scared any fuckin more #ginho #repost w ideas/add ons bc I might actually write this tbh #457 #squid game #squid game 457 #in ho #gi hun #gi hun x in ho #abo dynamics #writing ideas

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insideliascrazyhead · 6 months ago

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Sannoh Rengokai´s instagram shenaningans remix Sleepy Lion is actually a baby snake?!

Sooo I will keep the explenation short.I got a request to do some social media au for my fic.So here it is!Enjoy<3

Ice:Yo slutz!Take a fucking guess what I found?!

Sara:That party was legendary

Jesse:Hey,my husband!I gotta clutch my pearls at that shock....

Ice:Nah,bro.He loves me more.

Jesse:Whatever go fuck yourself as the only one Cobra fucks is me.

Dan:I still nearly vomit at the thought of that nasty ass hangover.

Yamaro:You´re weak.

Cobra:That was hilarious.

Dan:Yeah,you laugh Cobra!At least I learned a lesson that night! Cobra:Entertain me? Naomi:Us all please I need a god laugh...

Dan:That I´m a emotional people pleaser.More exactly a woman pleaser.

Cobra:No Dan.I´m a woman pleaser,you´re a lonely guy that was full of vomit.

Tetsu:You got Jesse though?

Jesse:Open relationship.At least when it comes to the sexual stuff

Yasushi:Hey Tsukasa guess what? Tsukasa:Yasushi I swear take your nasty paws away from my father or I will kill you dead!

Hyuga:So you and Cobra whore around

Rocky:No slut shaming only slut encouraging,but yeah

Jesse:Tsukasa log out.

Jesse:When I would do all the hella kinky shit Cobra´s into I would be dead...

Yasushi;Oh how I love this shit.Tsukasa I swear I´m gonna be your step dad soon.

Fujio:You got Kiyoshi.

Kiyoshi:So,Yasushi and your dad´s could easily use a fortht!

Sara:Heart eyes motherfuckers.

Cobra:Where on earth do you get those?

Sara:I´m a hoarder for media evidence.

Tsukasa:Why do they look like they went to a fucking LMFAO concert?

Yamasto:Drugs.

Cobra:Yamato!

Jesse:Stop it you fucking prick. Yamato:I´m sorry I mean PartySmarties,DiscoMints etc....

Rocky:Where did yall put Tsukasa then? Jesse:Granny´s house for the weekend.He get´s spoiled.We get fucked up on a rave.

Murayama:Cobra-chan and techno? Tetsu:Fuck yeah when he´s wasted enough he can listen to everything.

Naomi:I saw him poledance to Taylor Swift

Yamato:Hah.Weak.I saw him twerk to orchestra!

Rocky:I will pay you whatever you want for that video

Hyuga:Whatever Discoboy is bidding I double it!

Jesse:„Take that fucking thing outta my face or I will choke you till you´re dead!“

Tetsu:Cobra.Not in the mood.

Cobra:Fucking stalker

Jesse:Yeah,you´re fucking your stalker

Yasushi:Then whack your weasle from now on,I will marry Cobra.

Cobra:Not even in my worst nightmare.But the crazy kid is right,you´re whacking your weasle from now on.

Tsukasa:Yasushi,go and touch some fucking grass

Noboru:Cobra doesn´t have a crazy people fetish.

Yamato:No.He´s the crazy one in this relationship.

Chiharu:No.Really???

Yamato:Once when someone tried to rob the gas station Cobra dowsed both of them in gasoline.Took out a cigarette and told that guy he should run,if he doesn´t want Cobra to blow the entire gas station up.

Hyuga:That´s hilarious.

Fujio:Something Yasushi would do.

Shidaken:No way!That´s insanely suicidal.

Yasushi:Nah,I´m not suicidal.The world would be a better place without me and that´s exactly why I have to keep on living.

Fujio:Weirdly motivational

Jesse:Sleeping beauty.

Murayama:Now that´s what I come here for!

Hyuga:That´s borderline pornographic

Jesse:What?I didn´t even upload our sex tape! Yamato…. Ice:Exmotherfuckingscuseme?!

Sara:He´s showing chesticals for locals in heat.

Yasushi:This man so hot I´m pissing steam bitch

Cobra:Im not sleeping im dead leave flowers then go fuck yourself

Jesse:a dead person wouldn´t kick me outta the bed four fucking times with the way u move in ur sleep

Cobra:at least i don´t snore as loud as a chainsaw

Jesse:I don´t.You´re mean!Meanie Mouse!

Tsukasa:My bed vibrates fromn ur snoring old man

Jesse:grounded

Fujiio:You do though.I once thought it´s an earthquake

Jesse:Fujio you´re grounded too.

Fujio:You can do that?He can´t.Right?Cobra-san!

Murayama:Skipped to Itokan to visit Cobra-chan and look who I found!Sleepy-Lion/Baby snake! Leopard fur and cupcakes!That´s such a adorable remix of Cobra-chan and * ewww * Jesse

Fujio:Gotta go and buy a wedding ring!

Jesse:*clutching my pearls and dramatically wiping away a tear* Yasushi:Why he so relaxed tho?!Sannoh Stoner Squad?

Tsukasa:No.I´m just relaxed when you´re not around to force my will to live to jump from Oya´s roof.

Murayama:No Sleepy Lion No Rude Boying down the roof!

Kiyoshi:What´re you gonna do bout it old man? Shibaman:Lean over the railing and scream Tsukasa come back!

Rocky:I get that Cobra wants his genetics out there,looking like he does.But why Jesse?! Hyuga:How you know the kid won´t turn out ugly like Jesse tho?Made with love and not a quick nut?!Jesse probably takes two minutes in bed and I´m being generous here.

Kizzy:Rocky´s right tho.Cobra?Sexy.Jesse?Not so much.Cobra?Beautiful!Jesse low key ugly.

Ice:it´s crazy that Jesse didn´t scare baby Tsukasa to death with his ugly mug

Yamato:Okay can we move on now.I got it.Jesse looks so ugly that he should hide his face till halloween so he gonna scare the kids better.

Jesse:Low blow bro! Sara:The only one that´s blowing´s Cobra.

Noboru:most kids should be swallowed and not concived anyways.Not Tsukasa tho,he´s an angel and we´re thrilled to have him.

Naomi:Cobra´s treat now that he goes to therapy!Text wouldn´t fit on a cupcake. Cobra:Gonna take em anti sad bitch skittles like candy now.

Ice:Swollowing pills like candy will keep your grippy sock vaccation away!

Hyuga:Or cause him to loose the last marble and send him straight to the nut house! Chiharu:We´re gonna miss you Cobra-san.

Tetsu:Don´t forget us in there with your new friends.

Dan:What friends his hand he´s gonna start talking to? Cobra:Relax you drama queens.I ain´t gonna go to the nut house before I killed all three of you too avoid going to jail:)

Yamato:Hey,at least Noboru studied law for like two minutes!He can recommand a lawyer!

Yasushi:You know what they say about crazy guys,they´re the best in bed!

Hyuga:Yeah wait and see Cobra in the padded cell making boats outta popsicle sticks

Rocky:Miss thing....Too much.Hyuga,too much.

Cobra:It´s crazy i don´t snort glue around yall crazy bastards.

Yamato:You´re grumpy today.What´s the matter? Sara:Easy.Didn´t get laid in a while.

Yasushi:I´m available.

Murayama:I´m not gonna say I´m judging.All I say is I understand.

Tsukasa:I am judging tho.Heavily.Fuck you Yasushi.

Cobra:Had a beautiful trip to Oya today!Guess what I found!Murayama!Wanna explain what fun game yall where playing? Dan:of course first time Cobra posts anything it´s to cause drama

Tetsu:Or a gang war!

Murayama:Cobra-chan nooooo

Murayama:also to my defence i never heard of part time stakes...

Todoroki:Cobra never said the name of the game.

Fujio:Woah!What´s that?And why am I not on it? Nakaoka:Better question.Why do yall bid on the Yasu-kiyo jerks? Furuya:Cause they´re crazy enough to fight a crackhead and stab him with his own spoon

Yasushi:When Kiyoshi the bitch that he is got stabbed by a chick

Kiyoshi:Most beautiful day of my life.

Hyuga:That Yasushi kid is my kinda bitch.A bone to pick and not a fucking care in the world.?Oh yeah.Oya!That kids Daruma now.

Tsukasa:That was when all the factions fought er who will take over the full timers Fujio.

Shibaman:Also why does every photo taken look good as fuck.Even Yasushi.And that almost had me gagging.Exept Kiyoshi...

Yasushi:You can stop gagging when you don´t deep throat Todoroki´s dick! Tsuji:Kiyoshi kinda looks like he´s yerking his chicken.

Fujio:Murachi!Long story short the others will kill you...

Todoroki:Guys we´re not that ghetto.We´re not gonna kill anyone. Yasushi:Speak for yourself,sugar tits.The night´s still young and I´m craving violence.

Cobra:Man you gotta be the wet dream of every psychiatrist who enjoys a challenge huh?

Tsukasa:That treassure is hanging in Yamato´s garage.Thought I share this beauty with the world.

Fujio:I love this!Noboru looks ready to tap out as soon as Yamato looses conciousness.

Yamato:I was only attacked by this feral squirrel you call a father when I was seated.Other wise that garden gnome would´ve needed a ladder to even have eye contact with me.

Cobra:Seated because you we´re eating.If you continue Naomi´s gotta feed you with a pitchfork.

Yamato:At least I eat like a normal human being!Not only cupcakes and tequila.

Jesse:I saw him once eat fruitloops,with marshmallows,candy and beer cause we we´re outta milk

Noboru:That´s nasty man

Kiyoshi:Hey!Yasushi does that with energy drinks! Yasushi:I also use energy drinks instead of water for coffee.Your point. Todoroki:That explains everything

Rocky:I love how Cobra and Jesse are in a relationship for years and have a kid together when this photo exists and is a year old

Jesse:Foreplay.

Cobra:Jesse!

Jesse:Oh yeah,my mistake.Foreplay would be a lot rougher.

Cobra:At least I didn´t loose my shoe mid fight like fucking cinderella.

Jesse:All I hear is that I´m a princess and I agree.

Ice:*wiping tears*remember in your early relationship?When you destroyed Jesses bed,couch and kitched table to the point of no repair?Good times.

Sara:They had a good time.I fucking wish I would be deaf.

Yamato:At least you´re not living two houses down.I heard that once.

Dan:Why does Cobra get so much action anyways and then there´s me.

Tetsu:Overworked and underfucked.Got it.

Naomi:Oh calm down you big baby.

Tetsu:Partying hard just like his fathers! Jesse:*le gasp* Zebra!Traitor.

Cobra:You dramatic little bitch.Stop crying.

Ice:Grown up so quickly.

Rocky:Oh yeah where where you when your son got wasted`? Cobra:Nowhere with no one doing nothing with nobody.

Noboru:It wasn´t even in Club Heaven...

Yamato:That´s it!Innocent!Lawyers decision! Naomi:He´s not a lawyer dumbass. Chiharu:Half a lawyer then!Congratulations he´s half innocent! Tsukasa:Relax,fun police.I was only slightly tipsy. Fujio:You tried to go to Jamuo in the middle of the night with a highlighter,cause he´s important.

Jamuo:At least you´re not Yasushi.I sleep with a knife under my pillow and a emergency sedative in a syringe near by bed strong enough to knock out a horse! Yasushi:Wow.Lovely.Fuck you you little woodland creature.

#high and low #high and low the worst #oya high #high and low cobra #tsukasa takajo #hanaoka fujio #todoroki yosuke #kiyoshi #sannoh rengokai #nishikawa yasushi #shibaman #tsuji #mighty warriors #white rascals #daruma #hyuga norihisa #rocky #yamato #noboru

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tiredsn0w · 4 months ago

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Blog intro (after several years of having one...)

Hello, I'm user tiredsn0w. My name is Iwa, but most people call me Eva or snow. I don't mind what you use. Nicknames are okay as well.

I'm an SCP Wiki author and you can read the project I'm currently working on [here]. I mainly use this account to post art related to my writing, and also talk about/post my writing itself at times.

Info about me:

- I'm Catholic. I don't post about my faith much but it's at the backbone of my writing and artwork. Everyone of all religions and denominations are welcome and appreciated here. - I'm female and aroace. - I speak french, english, and some japanese, the latter of which I am studying to improve.

I'm mentally and physically disabled. [ 🩻 - I'm paraplegic with both flaccid and spastic paralysis. [🧠 - I'm also schizospec and autistic. I may come across as bored/rude on accident or phrase things oddly. Always feel free to ask for clarification if this is the case. [🧬 - I have multiple other illnesses and disorders, mostly rare birth defects that affect my organs and/or skeleton.

How to contact me:

Askbox (always open with anon on) or DMs on Tumblr. It's also always okay to @ me on a post or comment. Taken anon signoffs: -Glow-In-The-Dark Anon -🦉

My Discord is @/tiredsn0w and I generally accept all frqs. If I haven't gotten to yours or rejected it, DM me, it was most likely an accident.

PM me on Wikidot also under the user tiredsn0w. My crit specialties are listed on my author page, but here they are as well:

schizophrenia, schizoid personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, self-harm, suicide/suicide attempts, psychiatry/psych wards/antipsychotics, ASD at higher support levels, physical disabilities, mobility aids (especially wheelchairs), medical accuracy for all kinds of things/procedures, theological accuracy for Catholicism in particular.

Sensitive content tag guide, and other stuff V

Sensitive content tags

My writing deals with heavy topics, so naturally my blog features them as well. Tumblr's tag blocking feature is a bit funky, so please use this as your guide to block tags.

Posts discussing suicide Suicidal ideation: #cw sui ideation / #tw sui ideation Suicide jokes: #cw sui joke / #tw sui joke Other: #cw sui mention / #tw sui mention

Posts with self harm #cw sh / #tw sh / #cw sh implied / #tw sh implied #cw blood / #cw gore / #tw gore #cw stitches / #tw stitches / #tw blade

Posts with abuse General: #cw abuse / #tw abuse Domestic violence: #cw dv / #tw dv Themes present, no graphic depiction: #tw abuse implied

I also tag posts with #gif / #flashing / #eyestrain when applicable, not a psychiatric trigger but equally important.

If there's ever something I post about which you believe warrants trigger tags, and I'm not applying them, please send me an ask about it (I think this is better than DMs because then other people can also give input) so that we can discuss.

---

I don't really have a "DNI", I'm alright talking to pretty much anyone as long as they're respectful and also acknowledge any harmful behaviours they may have if applicable. But I won't tolerate any form of hate or discrimination on my blog, whether based on sex, race/ethnicity, religion, ability level, mental illness, sexuality, gender/presentation, or anything else. If you do things like send hateful asks/reblogs I will block you. But if you have genuine questions and are open to learning, that is perfectly okay.

---

Blinkies: pplatonic, e-resources, draculasdaughterrr, akirairl

Carrd: https://tiredsn0w.carrd.co/ (PC strongly recommended)

TF2 side blog: @tiredsn0w-extrablu

#blog intro #personal post #pinned post #gif

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kairogee · 2 months ago

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jktech told me to post this

@wotay27166 , good text but let me disagree with this for an instant

i will still try to help her and try to get in contact, i helped many people to recover from depression and stop suicidal ideations completely and i been doing this for 5 years already.

i saved about 10 people and none who i got to help did it, i (jktech) been warning this would happen for half a month and why else you guys think i am sleeping so bad lately? because i dealt with suicidal people for years already and i know how people pretend to be fine and act like they will not harm themselves.

i want her to recover and be happy, and for her friends that did some slips? i will help them too to improve themselves and direct their urges to healthier things such as art and roleplay (with adults only) which cannot cause harm.

lets not punish, lets rehabilitate. they are good people and i am willing to stop them from doing what they could do before even happens. i got two people i helped with this already.

yes i might be a moderately autistic severe ADHD schizoid borderliner but this dont deny all i say, actually having personal experience with severe abuse (minus sexual) from my family till this day and nonstop bullying makes me someone who can connect to others easily.

what i mean is, stop dismissing what i say because what i feared happend, just not what i feared the most gladly.

i will stay by her side and the side of her friends, right now they might not trust me as much because their trust got crushed by everyone of you and emsody.... but i will help and will be there no matter what.

i will forever sparkleCARE, sorry if i kept being mean to yall but i was trying to prevent what just happened and i want now to prevent what could happen.

stop supporting her patreon if you wanna... but me and close people will still try our best to take her out of her situation with her family.

she deserves to be happy, and who gone talk to her abuser, to you specifically i say FUCK YOU and get out. we know you will remain anonymous because we all will despise you for what you did to her, we all will despise you for making her abuser harm her. you are a horrible person and deserve all the things you wish for her.

as for the victims part of wotay post, the most concrete evidence shows that only imani did weirdo stuff... but still there was nothing like roleplay and irl pictures so it believe even imani can be rehabilitated.

for anyone still supporting kneeby, thank you, keep up your support. for anyone that dont like her actions, stop causing problems if you are doing so.

and for everyone (but the one who talked to her abuser, rlly... fuck you), thanks for reading.

#sparklecare

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voparwave69 · 7 months ago

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I will admit lately I have been smoking weed and microdosing shrooms but I am still one month clean of pills, I know complete sobriety is the more ideal thing to do, but I haven't been sober hardly at all in years and having nothing at all made the urge to get pills stronger. I feel healthier. I don't spend a part of every day vomiting, I have an appetite again, I don't wake up in a dopamine crash feeling borderline suicidal, and I actually have money instead of every dime going towards pills. I never bought anything for myself but pills for a long time, and lately I have bought a dress, a cook book, earrings, groceries, stuff for when I get my car (which is actually a possibility now!), even art. I don't wake up in a panic thinking about how and where to get pills, I don't feel like my day is in limbo until I have them, I don't feel like an emotionless zombie without them. I'm not the picturesque view of sobriety for sure considering I've been blitzed for several days straight now, but it's a step, and I havent touched pills since I said i was done.

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kolyubov · 1 year ago

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MR KRAAAAAABS I HAVE AN IDEAAA 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️😇😇😇 plspls may i request a part 2 of reader faking her emotions, that reader x nikolai one shot yk 🦍🦍 bit unfortunately we get the bad ending ☹️☹️ she just snaps one day, grabs a rope and 😭 (i have a cinematic trauma since most of my favorite characters hanged themselves) (ily sayori<3)

Feel completely free to ignore this 🙏 and if ur accepting it take your time 😇🙏

tw suicide attempt. please, do not keep reading if this kind of content triggers you.

Nikolai with a reader who archives his goals. (p2? bad ending lmao)

✧ pairing: Nikolai Gogol x Fem!Reader

✧ word count: 1.3k

✧ contents: sfw, angst?, obsessive and controlling Nikolai, slight manipulation, reader is referred to as "princess" once. (if I missed anything, please tell me)

✧ author's note: idk if this is as good as the first one :(( spoiler: I didn't write the reader dying, close, but no,,, hope u still enjoy it either way<3 btw, you mean sayori from dokidoki, right? I never played dokidoki, but I like Monika…….🧎‍♀️ sayori seems nice though! she's cute 🫶

Nikolai has been very clingy after what happened— He was always near you, touching you; holding your hand, having an arm around your waist, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck and rubbing circles on your skin, or hugging you from behind.

His hands needed to be on you, afraid that the second he's not watching, you'll disappear from his life.

When he's not physically there, your phone vibrates almost every five minutes with a message from him asking how are you doing, what class are in you right now, if you have eaten— Stuff like that.

There wasn't any second you could be alone, and it was becoming more and more overwhelming.

Of course, you understand that he's worried and that he doesn't want to lose you; but this is borderline obsessive, and as much as a part of you likes being taken care of, another part of you is afraid that this might get even worse.

He was trying to tie you with him; sinking you deeper into the darkness of the cage that was holding you back. The cage of your emotions.

You didn't know it, but he even has a location tracker that shows him on his phone exactly where you are— It eases his mind because what if, after knowing that there wasn’t a way out, you try to be free by other methods?

Nikolai knows you won't dare to kill him like he is was planning to do with Fyodor; There was no possible scenario in which you would stab him to death or poison his food. Plus, he could easily see through your intentions and it won't be easy to kill someone like him.

But you could hurt yourself.

If it wasn't him, then the only way to be free was by shutting down your whole system. By ending your life.

Of course, he was not going to let it happen. He's going to be watching your every move until he's sure you won't do something risky like that.

For now, he is taking good care of you.

“Whatcha doing? I'm about to go home. I want to make a quick stop to buy you snacks.”

You giggle on the other side of the phone and that's enough to make Nikolai excited. He wanted to be in your arms, smooching your face, feeling your warmth, hearing you laugh. God, his heart is beating too fast right now.

“I'm just… doing nothing.” You walk around the apartment as you speak with him, trying to sound excited.

“I miss you, baby. Can't wait to cuddle with you today…”

Ah, you hated how inevitably you felt warm and fuzzy inside.

“You love me, right, dove?”

Yes, you do. You love him so much that it's suffocating you. Nikolai is suffocating you. But you can't help but need more of him, his attention, his love, his touch. All of that awakens a bunch of emotions that you wish to get rid of so badly.

“Mhm… I do.” You whisper, and you can hear him giggle through the speaker.

“Wait for me, love.” He smooches the screen of his phone before ending the call, then, you throw your phone to the couch.

It seems like Nikolai didn't notice.

Suddenly, Tears rolled down your cheeks. You place your hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs as the crying intensifies to the point where your chest hurts and your knees buckle, making you fall to the floor. You curse under your breath for being so fragile.

God. Why this fucking feelings don't stop even before your last breath? Why do they only get worse? Love, anger, sadness, disgust. It's all so overwhelming that you're starting to feel dizzy and nauseous.

Slowly, you stand up, still trembling and with small steps you walk to your room, finding the rope you placed on the bed a few minutes ago before Nikolai called. A small breathy chuckle leaves your lips, but it sounds more like a broken whimper.

You stand before the bed, grabbing the rope with trembling hands, caressing the material— The image of Nikolai's face after he comes home, opening the door of the room to meet with your lifeless body, is stuck in your mind.

How his eyes would widen, how he would desperately pull you out of the rope and hold you in his arms, close to his chest as he cries and curses himself for not being able to do something to stop you. His knuckles would caress your cheeks while his tears fell to your face.

The thought of it hurts your heart.

A part of you wants to stay, to keep enjoying your time with him, however, the pit in your stomach was becoming unbearable.

You felt pity for Nikolai.

But you'll finally enjoy that freedom you wished so much, you'll finally get rid of these emotions that consume your very soul, you—

“Think you can escape me, huh?”

A deep voice tickles your ear, and the second you turn around you find Nikolai smiling, as if the sight in front of him was amusing. You instinctively take a step back, letting out a yelp as you fall to the bed.

“Darling, you know that is not the way to cope with your temporary problems.”

How did he get here so quickly when a few minutes ago you were on a call with him?

Right. Nikolai has his coat. Probably he ended up noticing your fake excitement and decided to go home to check on you first instead of going to a supermarket and buying you snacks.

He crawls to the bed, taking the rope from your hands and throwing it away.

“I told you, didn't I? You won't leave me.”

Nikolai's voice gets deeper as he speaks. He seizes your jaw a bit too harshly. Glaring down at you with a serious expression only to lean down and kiss your lips, then the tip of your nose, and finally your forehead.

“It hurts me… that you want to leave me so badly…” He snorts, looking away from you and biting his lower lip, holding back from something that you weren't exactly sure.

You look away as well, feeling ashamed, among many other emotions that curse your body right now.

What if Nikolai hates you now?

That was even worse— If the only human being that cares about you hates you, you wouldn't bear the pain that'll come along with that.

As your brain keeps creating possible scenarios that might happen after this incident, tears spill from your eyes down your cheeks and you hide your face with your hands; palms muffling the small sobs that escape your lips like before.

Suddenly, you feel a weight on top of you.

You peek through the gap of your fingers and meet with Nikolai’s face nuzzling against your chest; his nose tickling your collarbone. Large and strong arms that had carried you like a princess before, are now wrapped tightly around your waist.

“Don't leave me… I love you so much, please…” He whines against your skin, almost as if he wants to sink inside you and be enveloped in your embrace. “Please, dove, pleasepleaseplease…”

Another sob leaves your mouth— Nikolai's fingers clutch around your ribs, nails almost digging desperately into you.

Slowly, you slide your hands to his back, rubbing it in small circles as you keep crying against the top of his head, his white locks feel soft against your cheek.

Instead of comforting you, he was the one being comforted.

“You're not going anywhere, are you?” He looks up at you. It didn’t sound like a threat, but you knew it actually was.

You shook your head; it's not like you have an alternative.

Nikolai sighs, nuzzling back against you and closing his eyes. After noticing you stopped caressing his back, he nudges your side as an indication to keep doing it.

“…Dove, you’re mine… If anything, I should be the one to take your life away from you…” He mumbles, giggling as your breath hitches at his words.

You can't escape him anymore.

#nikolai x reader #bungou stray dogs x you #nikolai x you #bsd nikolai #bsd x you #bsd x reader #nikolai gogol bsd #nikolai gogol x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs x reader #nikolai.zip #requests.ᐟ #ᯓ★ messages from the stars ✧˖°.

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