#like bitch….

[seraqhites]

i had the craziest fucking dream ever. like i need to stop falling asleep to fucking philosophy videos.

[letthehatersbark]

The funniest one star review of Wicked I've seen so far

[awittylemon]

kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

[teaboot]

The chick's bathroom at my location always has a bunch of fake flowers and seasonal soaps and posters n shit in it and I just asked the custodian kid if the men's did too and he said "Nah just the urinals, the women's room gets all the nice stuff" and he sounded so sincerely wistful so in conclusion I know what I'm gonna do this Christmas

[virtualplushy]

silliness and sincerity are not opposites btw. they are married. bisexually

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[junglejim4322]

do you think a 5'4 and 6'2 height difference is predatory?

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[idontmindifuforgetme]

I don’t care about it at all (I have carried its weight around like a rock on my chest since the very day it happened)

[zillychu]

everyone sh. shutd up im cooking smthn

[zhoras-bitch]

"average greek pisses off 3 gods and demigods a year" factoid is actually just statistical error. average greek pisses off 0 gods and demigods per year. Odysseus of Ithaca, who is just going home & making a mortal enemy of yet another olympian each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

[plaguedocboi]

God I just fucking. I am so blown away when I watch any older movie. When they filmed on real sets and built elaborate props because cgi wasn’t an option. “Ohhh but you can tell it’s an animatronic it doesn���t even look reeaaallll” shut the hell your mouth. That is an actual physical thing that the actors could actually see and interact with. It is a billion times more “real” than the endless greenscreen bullshit you love so much.

[verflares]

just how long is forever? // not long enough, with you

pssst. check this out on inprnt :]

[bioethicists]

every time a new SA allegation of a favored celeb arises, i'm reminded of the absolutely soul-crushing experience of the depp/heard trial in which i learned that dozens of ppl i loved + respected + trusted were also willing to engage in the basest form of misogyny if the woman Seemed Crazy Enough. there was a horrifying 2ish weeks on this website + much longer irl where i genuinely felt unsafe voicing my discomfort as i relived something eerily reminiscent of the aftermath of my own assaults playing out on screen, commented on by true crime youtubers like it was a red sox game.

it happens time + time again with every new allegation + it's truly the most agonizing + exhausting part of being a survivor. i am begging you all to consider that survivors are watching you engage with this stuff like theater + it erodes our trust in all of you + compounds our grief.

[minas27]

GIVE HER BACK TO ME 😭 TAKE CRISTON COLE PLEASE

[choodraws]

🍎🍊🍐 (crops from the past 3 months of patreon exclusives)

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[thethoriumreactor]

Have a meme because I have no self control

Lucifer just seems like the kinda guy who’d lose his mind over ppl being too hot (our bi short king)

I spent way too much effort on this pls like it ily 🙏

Bonus (radioapple) doodles as always (edit: I. I just realised I forgot Al’s monocle in both doodles. I am dying inside. Why did no one tell me.):