#like aspects‚ those are important
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Don't Wormy About Me.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#yu ziyuan#Please allow me to make it clear how important I think the hug between YZY and JC is in regards to several aspects of their characters#For one - it is the resolution and reveal that behind all the harsh words and bitterness...She really did love her son.#A hug is a soft gesture that you would never expect from someone like YZY and the fact she shows JC this affection now -#-Tells us how she knows that this upcoming battle is a death sentence for her.#Her giving away Zidan is honestly overkill but another sign of her truly showing him how she loves him and wants him to survive.#The dread of knowing she's walking back to a fight without zidian and trying to keep up brave face one last time...chilling.#Zidian represents legacy and promises. And this is going to both save and destroy Jiang Cheng as he carries this weight alone.#Heartbreaking stuff! Didn't draw it in the comic because I wanted to draw a silly worm on a string!#WWX tried to help JC out of the knot but got stuck in it.#Those worm on a string tricks are harder than they look!#Also; it's been about a year since the last boat joke - but indeed this is the 11th boat of pd-mdzs. No need to do the math.
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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like
-💀
It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.
If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.
Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.
He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...
#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it#already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus#he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans#like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects#like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend#pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years#with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to#realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia#from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h#he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is#giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he#because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough#that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing#damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b#stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons#are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou#his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause#it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his#friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus#cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken#that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go#you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a#condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin#they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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Me spreading propaganda for everyone to read Absolute Superman 🌀🌀🌀
(There is something about this version of superman that really struck me and had such a big impact on my brain)
#rambling in tags because I can#with the current state of the world in regards to both climate and politics#a story like this in my opinion was needed#superman has always been a character to stand up for ppl who couldn’t fight for themselves#and he’s always represented the idea of fighting against your oppressors#but I think those ideals have been like- lost? writers stopped caring about it#so to see those aspects brought back and highlighted is so important to me#this version of Kal-el is a fighter for the working class and is a living symbol of workers#he wears the symbol of the labour guild with so much pride and- ugh#it’s incredible. I’m very excited to see more of this story and I can’t wait to see where they go with it#PLUS Rafa Sandoval’s artwork is so beautiful#anyway#art#fanart#dc comics#dc fanart#superman#superman fanart#absolute superman#kal el#clark kent#clark kent fanart#absolute trinity#absolute superman fanart#detective comics#traditional art#my art
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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
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LYTA HALL & ROSE WALKER The Sandman, S01E08: Playing House dedicated to @violetoftheendless
#lyta hall#rose walker#the sandman#sandman#kyo ra#razane jammal#sandmanverse#sandmancentral#*#*my gifs#this has a part 2 which is important to why i really really liked show!lyta over comics!lyta#dont get me wrong i still liked comics!lyta#but i really love her in the show! much more than the mourning widow/mother or scorned woman trope which makes her more 3-dimensional#i think ill post it tomorrow? we shall see#i havent had much time or mental capacity for creative stuff recently so im sorry for the delay! ik i promised this a couple months ago#anyway <3 more to come#btw i went ahead and fixed the aspect ratio. they look so much closer to their actors now#i experienced so much whiplash looking up kyo ra and razane jammal. i was like who are those ppl??
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I love how No 6 couldn't be written without Shion's queerness. Every important characters in this story are people who deviated from the norm in one way or another. It's an integral part of the story.
Shion's fascination and attraction to Nezumi is what sets the entire story in motion.
It's what forces him to see through the veil of dreamlike safety, it's what awake his needs for truth, for humanity. It's what will inevitably free them and cause the fall of the perfect city (amongst other things...)
No, No 6 is not a simple BL with a side of sci-fi. It's a genuine queer revolution and I must say, I'm fascinated by it to no end.
#dunkar rant#no 6#I started to read it again for the second time#With a more analytical mind#And I really like it man#It's smart#It got it's faults sure#But just like the west block it's deeply human in spite of it#It's hope in a sea of despair#It's a crack in a expensive prison wall#I can only love this truly#And to think that bad bitch is almost as old as I am#And the queerness I not the only interesting as well as essential aspect of it#The voice of the unheard those who have been massacred to establish the land are just as important#But I will need to advance in my lecture to speak more precisely on this
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was just pondering about what would happen if there were multiple space/time players in one session and came to a conclusion that either a) skaia wouldnt allow it to happen or b) they share a planet, and now i cant stop thinking about like 24 player session except its all space/time players and theres just 2 planets in the medium and how much chaos could ensue in this scenario. wild
#specifically space/time bc those are the necessary aspects#like every aspect is important yes but you NEED those two for viable session#bc u get the forge and frogs for space and time construct for time#and i was thinking that multiple planets with those constructs would make the game unplayable so sburb would have some safeguards#i think it just simply wouldnt allow multiple players of those aspects BUT the second option is way funnier#ah forgor that u need time players to even make the forge work so theres also that#im probably wrong about it dont mind me i just think its a funny thought experiment#homestuck
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stiff ahh pose but crazy how its taken me Seven Months to draw a nagito that looks even somewhat remotely close to how he looks in my head. Big day
#nagito komaeda#sdr2#danganronpa#danganronpa fanart#fanart#art#finished#wikoart#ok im just gonna rant about how he looks ive done this before in ts but#Hair. ok you guys know those like cheap ass wigs that have been crimped or wtv you call it. Nagito#Not like the shiny plastic ones but like. The ones that have been really brushed up? i dont know it just feels very coarse i guess#not in the way that he doesnt like wash his hair bc he def does but thats just how his hair is#his mullet type thing is so important to me i can never really translate it well into my art#i got it here tho so. :33333#other important nagito design aspects because i love him a lot#back profile. big ass hood. semi baggy jeans. stupid eyelashes. the fold on the back of his jacket like midway down where it like goes out#the WALLET CHAIN.#the 55 on the back of his jacket#i just really like his jacket. its so ugly#wide ass shoulders#freakishly tall#i know hes only like 5’11 but you know thats still like a foot taller than me hes freakishly tall to me#bony hands#hes such a freak#i love him so much#his skin is def dry as hell#sandpaper#anemic so hes like freezing to thr touch#COLLARBONES
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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.
so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.
putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.
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thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.
okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).
ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).
also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.
the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.
which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.
anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.
so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.
me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*
* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—
nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.
on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.
thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.
as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.
also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.
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so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.
TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.
#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf#meta dissertations.pdf#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu bes#blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3#btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context#by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3#my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo 🍅🍅🍅)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender roles‼️#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing#mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect#as mentioned in the post above#you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about#like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough#i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again 🤪
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stuck thinking about when day gets crowded and overwhelmed on his birthday he calls out to gee of all people there to remove him from the situation; and how when day tells her he wants to be alone she makes sure he knows she wants to understand him and he can talk to her (not to help him or to fix things for him; simply to understand him) and when day reaffirms a boundary she accepts this and doesn't press further. he's her friend and she cares for him but he's still an adult and she has no problem treating him as such and i think that at the moment she is the only one from day's past who is actively able to do so
#last twilight#gee best girl#i know disability is difficult on loved ones as well and it is very easy for those closest to you to fall into pitying and babying you#but gee has been working very hard to not let that happen to her friendship with day#she is immediately ready to keep teasing and playing with day whilst also quick to adjust to the new aspects of their relationship#she wants to learn how to guide day through the badminton court to take over from 'his mhok' and is more than willing to take day#to the bathroom in the bar but when day assures her he can handle it she doesn't infantalize him#she immediately invites day to the bar without any hesitation and then continues to invite him to her game because that's#an important aspect of their friendship#and when he shows up she isn't afraid to joke around and tease him#she's extremely good at not treating him like a broken piece of porcelain whilst also quickly taking cues in how to adjust where it is#necessary#im glad day gets someone from his past who doesnt need as much time as his family to readjust to his new normal#and it is also an incredibly good parallel to how bad augustus' assessment of the situation is#last twilight the series
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I want to talk about the time Jess forgot to order food for the diner after Luke had asked him to, but I don't want to talk about Jess being irresponsible and untrustworthy (like Scott Patterson thinks, apparently), and I don't want to talk about whether Luke had the right to ask him to do that in the first place (I don't know, I think grownups ask teenagers to help out with things sometimes. But I'm serious that I don't want this post to be about this.). I want to talk about how relatable that storyline is as a former kid with ADHD who knows all too well the experience of letting someone down because you got so absorbed in a book you were reading that you forgot to do the thing you promised them you'd take care of. 😬 Heck, I STILL do this. 😫😅
#Gilmore Girls#Jess Mariano#I'm sorry but those aspects of Jess are really important to me#I do not hate those storylines#I do not even think that the existence of these storylines mean that he's 'bad' or that the show is saying he's 'bad'#Because that's like saying I'M bad and I've worked really hard to not believe that about myself#So YES I'm projecting onto Jess but WHO CARES#It's a freaking TV SHOW!
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well that's just a lie
#ash plays bg3#bg3#gale#gale dekarios#personal#look. im used to the way he looks now. im cool with it. but she shouldnt be!#this was an interesting conversation tho. i know ive been leaning into him following his own ambitions but--#the dialogue options along those lines are becoming a lot more direct in a way that doesnt quite fit with how im playing#the gale that im playing isnt going around pronouncing that he's gonna take over the world (because that's not what he's actually planning)#so im not completely sure how to play this. i saved before so i can go through it a few times to work out what i want to say#(ftr i have no qualms at all about reloading in this game. i dont feel bad in the slightest. im playing this game for fun)#ultimately i dont think it matters too much what i say here unless i choose some really extreme options. which isnt my plan anyway#but it's important to me. im enjoying the roleplay aspect#it's also pretty funny that ive only had one long rest since the one where i fucked the emperor. i should be able to tell her that lmao#like hey yeah a lot's happened since we last spoke#but anyway if you say you're gonna take the crown yourself she says 'if it doesnt crush you i will' which is fun#gonna stick with the 'im not sure' option. and all my companions are saying such nice things to me about it :')#except wyll and jaheira. come on guys#and lae'zel but that's because she's been kidnapped so. rip. should probably make that a priority but i like progressing main quests LAST
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idk maybe i'm just a simple guy with simple tastes but i really like natlan's story actually
#even if the importance of traditions and cultures in it (which i love) makes the character design problems stand out more#like. i refrained from commenting on a post i saw cross my dash bcs ppl can have opinions and im also not good at wording it but#i don't think 'unity' is natlan's theme. it's present but not really what's explored so i feel that it's unfair to judge it based on --#--how act v tried to execute it. natlan explores a lot more about sacrifice; life and death; the importance of past present and future#the importance of the people in the present AND the memories legacies history that came before AND those who have yet to come#(<- aka i get the intent of anachronism in natlan's tech and designs but good grief they could've done that aspect better)#but yeah yknow. in terms of those themes? i enjoyed it and had fun. def saving for iansan mualani and (sigh) chasca after getting clo/rinde#anyway pardon my rambling i had to get this out of my system somewhere that isn't just preaching to the choir (aka suwara's dms)
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i keep thinking back to a quote by some architect who was arguing that the most sustainable architecture is the architecture that doesnt get torn down bc we will be (hopefully) constantly finding newer, cheaper, more efficient, ways of being "sustainable" so trying to make the most sustainable building is a moot point. in 5 years it will be outdated & if all it has going for it is "was once a very sustainable building but isnt anymore" well. that isnt much. the point was that the architect was saying that classical/romantic architecture (often considered very beautiful & worth saving which i could get into but that a whole other thing) is sustainable bc of its beauty. bc of the value we put on it. bc we dont want to erase or tear down things we find beautiful or important. i dont really have an end thought but im just musing on the importance of beauty & how aesthetic value can extend itself into material value & also how beauty (infinite) is hoarded by the rich as if it is a finite source. inch resting
#i feel like this could be a thesis but i dont know enough about anuthing to make it more than a post#the whole othr thing i could get into is how classical/romantic architecre is often held up as the most beautiful style#which is very eurocentric.#but also delegitimizes other reasons for wanting to keep a building around#ie historical importance#im just thinking about the endless capitalistic cycle of creating mass produced soulless buildings#from the catalogue homes from the 50s to the white box condos of now#where they get made & sold as New and Modern and Cutting Edge#and then in a few years (when they arent new or modern or cutting edge no one likes them so they get redone/torn down#and often those renos are ALSO souless and just fit more New and Modern and Cutting Edge appliances/architecture#this creates a lack of conse4rvation of “ugly/cheap/poor” buildings which is. again a whole other thing#also what im saying isnt new. and can be applied to many other aspects of capitalism/comsumerism#anyways
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Clothes, if I ever figure out how they work (Patreon)
#Doodles#Webkinz#Diamond#Ghostkinz#Ukadevlog#Half joking - I understand the basics of like - how to make clothes Appear on a Ghost - it's the layering(?) that I'm still unsure of#How does insert work >At this point I'm too afraid to ask#Lol no there's much more to discover! Clothes just aren't As important as the rest#But they are still important in bluesky lol - Webkinz /is/ a fashion game among other things!#It's another aspect that's actually really nice to be able to pull from - the fashion aesthetic is generally quite cute and cohesive!#Lines the same-but-darker colour as the body of the clothes with sometimes lots of detail and sometimes just a little#It's fun! Shopping at the Outlet and seeing what clothes combinations work on which pets is fun!#I do wish shirts at least (if not pants and shoes etc.) also showed up on the little preview pet in the corner buuuut#Having played with clothes just this Little Bit I can see why it wouldn't be the most fun thing to try to finagle around lol#I Would be half-tempted to only offer like hats and glasses and bracelets and the like but I am unfortunately Very Stubborn lol#I want to dress Diamond up really silly!! Layering a jacket over a shirt and then also a mask or something...there's gotta be a way.........#Can you tell I made those Ghost costume pieces around Halloween lol - t'was the season!#I think it'd be fun to have pet-specific clothes too... Oh have I mentioned that bit yet? Hehe#Or if not specific then like freebies or something ♪ For funsies#That is one thing that's very satisfying to the video game-hoarding part of my brain - Webkinz offers a lot of freebies#I don't see why I wouldn't follow in those footsteps! Freebies are funsies!
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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