#like any couple they have positives and negatives

[thrashkink-coven]

anyways guys so the hot take of the week is that religious people are offended by demonolatry.

I can’t believe I have to say this but yes, Jews, Christians , Muslims, and all other people from organized monotheistic religions are probably going to be offended by you worshiping demons in general. Crazy concept but yes. Religious people get upset when they see people worshipping or working with demons they believe are evil. If you are concerned with the negative opinion of religious people, keep your practice a secret. It’s what we’ve been doing for centuries. The worship of these demons has never been popular or encouraged. That’s how demons work. They have specifically been demonized, working with them is more controversial than working with pagan Gods who have not been demonized. No it is not fair, that’s simply the way it is.

Regardless of who you are working with or where they come from, you will always be practicing an alternative form of spirituality if you are working with demons. You will always be subject to ridicule for it.

In the last couple posts I’ve made about this, people gotten so over consumed with the logistical claims I was making about the religions of Judaism, Christianity etc. that my main point was completely lost. It’s not my place to speak as a Jewish person, so I’m going to speak only as a demonolater and my experience. I’m still debating deleting that post because the point seems to have flown over everyone’s heads.

So I’m just going to be as direct as possible. Yes. Religious people have always and likely will always be offended by demonolatry regardless of what demon you’re working with.

If you’re using a name that was used by a religion to identify a negative spirit, you are very likely going to offend that religion by using that name and seeking them out. It’s up to you to decide if you care that your practice is offensive to others, because it always will be. The only way to work around actually appropriating any of these religions is to make these demons your own. Just as they encountered and documented these spirits, pagans and demonolaters can do the same, discover their own names, and use them to identify these spirits. In the very short conversation I had with (L*lit) on this subject, she was very excited about the idea. Many goetic demons don’t even use the names documented in the Lesser Key because they were recorded by people who did not respect them. Prince Cerberus never allows me to call him Naberius.

Of course these spirits don’t give the slightest bit of a shit whether your practice offends the church. Nor do they care if you use a Hebrew name. But humans care, and if a religion is asking us not to use the word they invented then okay. That’s easy to work around. We’re still going to be worshiping these demons.

Satanists, Luciferians, and all those who walk the left hand path have never been regarded positively by Christianity. They will never understand why we do what we do and how we benefit from it. This has always and likely will always be the case.

Lucifer isn’t going to abandon his cult because Catholics have a problem with his worship. Nor are the followers of Asmodeus going to stop worshiping him because Jews don’t like it. This is what demonolatry is.

At the end of the day, you will offend someone. That’s the reality of the left hand path. You will be hated and you will be used as a negative example. These energies have been demonized and so will you. If that’s too anxiety inducing for you, demonolatry might not be the path for you. This has never been a popular path for a reason. Demonolatry has never been about pleasing the church.

There’s 1000 other things that I do that are offensive to religious people. I find the accounts of ancient Christian magis and other religious people to be valuable because of the information they provided on these spirits. They were the only accounts of these spirits that have actually survived. But I have no interest in appeasing the beliefs of these magis, or really anyone else but myself.

So yeah. I can’t believe “demon worshippers are offensive to religious people regardless of which demon they are worshipping” was my most controversial take of 2025 so far, but yeah. It is what it is.

[andre-and-cal]

Some sociopathic traits Cal Gabriel has,,

I don’t believe he was a sociopath. But I do believe he exhibited some shared tendencies to them.

When Cal was younger, he didn’t enjoy people very much.

The previously chubby-cheeked, little white blond boy began to display this distant look in his eyes as he slowly aged, which had started to show when he was around 2 to 3-years-old.

His reserved behavior was more prevalent when he was a kid. His parents remained unquestioning, though. Treating their son like any other normal boy. But could you really blame them?

Because not even Cal’s family members could read what was going on in his mind.

Birthday parties weren’t very fun either. Calvin felt overwhelmed by everyone standing around him, trying to get him to smile while singing him happy birthday, shoving presents toward his sour face. Fuck, the people his parents invited and who attended were so insufferable and nauseatingly energetic. He didn’t even want to do anything for his 18th birthday a few months before Zero Day. He just wanted to spend time with Andre— the bastard who mostly sees him for who he is. Around his teenage years, that was when the lingering anger began to sprout deep within him. And when he and Andre met, they clicked partially for this reason.

Calvin does get crushed by the invisible weight of his depression and experiences negative and positive feelings as well, though they’re less prominent and not necessarily how most people would typically assume. He experiences these feelings toward himself and toward Andre and his friends. And most of the time he doesn’t feel much toward other classmates— not unless it relates to his burrowed sadism, aggravation, disinterest, and contempt.

He likes Rachel, even though he grows defensive when she tries to nudge her nose into him and Andre’s business. Cal always plays it off as a joke, but there’s a subtle sense of sobriety in his eyes… especially when he essentially told her to “leave town”.

He isn’t friends with very many people except for a few— those few including Andre. He’s known for being in the school band, and from being Rachel’s friend, but that’s really it.

With Andre, he does feel a sense of fondness and longing when he’s out of his grasp. He treats the brunet teenager unlike how most people would treat their companion. He sees him as this figure he needs to latch onto, who latches onto Cal in contrasting yet related ways— Calvin feels alive when he’s around him, less like a walking zombie. Calvin gets restless and the closest thing to sad when he’s not around. Lonely, even. He needs his attention. They share a bond that nobody should be able to have but them… the Army of Two.

Cal expresses this amorous sentiment toward his comrade in relatively traditional manners, having learned from seeing other couples at school… mainly with physical touch. He really isn’t opposed to physical touch when with Andre at all. Though, Cal’s indifference when he and Andre argue is as apparent as finding a glowing scarecrow in a corn field. And while he does react in blatantly flippant manners toward the various serious problems Andre has with him in that moment, he doesn’t truly want Andre to stay angry at him. So he tries to deescalate the situation without outwardly confronting the problem. Think of the scene where Andre got angry at Cal over the poem he read aloud, and how Cal made him smile a minute later.

In addition, Cal is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

The sheep wool sitting over his head like some veil of purity is the awkward, yet casual facade he wears to get people to think differently of him. To think he’s nice, to think he isn’t capable of committing such a horrific thing such as Zero Day. Even now, even before Zero Day; he’s still got his parents and peers fooled— excluding Andre.

That wolf is what Andre sees when Cal’s pissed off and bothered, and what everyone saw on Zero Day, during Cal and Andre’s final moments after they murdered a dozen students. Cal realized how he was destined to fade out with the boy who understood him; the boy he made an effort to understand, too.

[sunshades]

Ok i let the intervallo simmer here's some thoughts:

- it's true this intervallo is comedic and kind of "not that deep" (bear with me a sec) and negative interactions aren't to be taken That seriously like im seeing a lot of people do

- BUT this can also absolutely be a negative thing and i agree theres a lot of bits where it doesnt feel good to read. Sinclair is getting the scaredy little baby writing, Heathcliff is getting the haha delinquent writing, ishmael has this constant "joke about water/ships/whales/whatever"- we kinda know by now the sinners who had their canto already have a noticeable drop in quality (even yi sang whose writing always gets the most care at times falls into a comic relief role)

- at the same time, wondering why the group isn't being That friendly... especially "the sinners are suddenly so mean to heathcliff and treating him like he's stupid" is just. guys. they never stopped. this was how don quixote -the one he's consistently been the kindest towards- was treating him in TKT, barely a couple weeks after canto 6 in universe LOL

- it just... feels disingenuous to say "but they were such good friends in canto 7" when that whole scene came a bit out of the blue? the sinners have never been close friends all the way to canto 7- let's not forget how in MOTWE it was important to see Faust, meursault and ishmael have a couple moments with the other sinners (faust and ishmael with each other, faust with yi sang and dante, meursault with don and heathcliff) because the whole game they barely had any positive interactions. ishmael for example has shot down gregor's attempts at befriending her a couple times in the past, and never really felt indebted towards heathcliff for worrying about her in canto 5 (or at least that never made her want to be nicer to him)- but those aren't writing mistakes when she herself in LCB checkup even jokes about being kinda awful at making/keeping friends. she's just kinda like that. "im not that nice"

- that being said there are a lot of interactions in the checkup that imply they are actually getting closer. hong lu and sinclair are in good terms, meursault apparently now interacts with the others pretty often, ishmael and yi sang watch over don quixote (pretty significant when u consider one of ish's few interactions with don was calling her delusional in canto 5), ryoshu is interested in don, and i think even ishmael and ryoshu's squabble is interesting considering their last interaction was in canto 4 (where they were getting along even less). the intervallo definitely has some writing pitfalls but i think it's absolutely better if you keep in mind what the text has been telling us in all the chapters that lead up to it, not just counting c7's climax as something so completely defining of everyone's characters.

[duskdog]

Wondering, vaguely, if Steph's age had any influence on how Bruce viewed/interacted with her.

She was 15 when he met her, and would have been 16-extremely-close-to-17 (I am personally a "Steph was 17" truther because the timeline doesn't actually work otherwise; I would call the 16 an error, but it's what's stated in canon, so...) when she became Robin and died. That's significantly different than Dick and Damian, who came to Bruce quite young, and even Tim and Jason, who were a little older but still not as old as Steph when they first came under Bruce's wing. (I think it's important to remember that, until adulthood, even just a couple of years can make an enormous difference in development and how a child views/interacts with adults. 16 can potentially be very different than 13.)

I imagine there must be a difference between working with a Robin who is literally a child, and one who's very nearly an adult. Particularly Steph, who had been parentified from a fairly young age and very likely felt much older than her actual years at times.

Honestly, we'll probably never know for sure because their time together as Batman and Robin was so short... and because of the other, bigger factors that influenced their relationship: namely the fact that she was disposable to him as Robin (not as in "he was okay with her dying", but as in "he was only using her as Robin to achieve a goal and wasn't at all concerned with her feelings or well-being in that respect"). And of course, her gender, because that would also have influenced how they interacted, regardless of whether either of them wanted it to or not.

More interestingly, though, is the method by which Steph became Robin. She and Tim were the only "proactive" Robins -- the ones who came to Bruce with knowledge/intent, rather than being children he chose to take in and eventually mentor (and Damian, who was raised for the mantle, but from Bruce's perspective just sort of got dropped on his doorstep). And Steph is the only Robin who had any experience operating as a vigilante prior to her time as Robin. Even before she became Spoiler, she already had knowledge and understanding of the world of masks and capes thanks to her father's shenanigans.

We know that Bruce is very stubborn and often single-minded, himself. Love him or hate him, I don't think many people would deny that he very much always expects to be the smartest and most capable person in the room. (After all, he often is.) He frequently clashes with his peers, and often refuses outside help, particularly when it comes to his own "territory".

The Robins have historically been different, because they're his. He inherently has a position of power over them due to their ages and his position as guardian/mentor/teacher. (Please note that I don't intend "position of power" to be negative in this case -- I intend it the same way that I'd say any parent or teacher is in a position of power over a child under their care.) He's the one in charge. He's the one doing the training. He's the one supplying the gear. And they're young. Psychologically, this is a very different dynamic than Batman interacting with, say, Green Arrow (using them as parallels because they are both normal human "just trained our bodies and minds to do amazing shit" heroes).

But Steph comes into this mantle as very-nearly a grown woman -- someone who has cared for her mother like a parent at times, someone who has taken responsibility for her father's crimes onto herself, someone who has had an actual literal baby and had to make the extremely adult choice about what would be best for that baby and for herself. She has never depended on Bruce Wayne for food or shelter or affection. She has never depended on him for training (he did train her for a while, and she was happy about it, but remember -- he approached her -- and when he ghosted her, she actively sought out training elsewhere, so she knows he's clearly not the only game in town). She started as Spoiler with nothing but her own homemade costume and gear she cobbled together, and she continued as Spoiler on her own in defiance of him. He definitely had power over her in a way -- that is, influencing how other Gotham vigilantes thought of her and treated her, to the point of trying to directly forbid Cass from interacting with her -- but not in the way of a father over a daughter, or an adult over a child, or even a hero over a sidekick (until she became Robin). Steph made Spoiler all by herself. And she stayed Spoiler mostly by herself, without much support (what support she did get was shaky and/or didn't last). And she came to Bruce and put herself forward as Robin, as a nearly-17-year-old who was already psychologically an adult in at least some ways.

That has to have a real impact on how they would interact. Steph is frequently described as stubborn and defiant as Robin, but she's operating as sort-of an adult with her own independence and agency in a way that the other Robins were not when they first became Robin. Meanwhile, Bruce is used to dealing with new Robins as children/fledglings. The initial Batman-and-Robin-as-partners growing pains for each of the other three Robins up until that point would have had a very, very different tone than that same growing pains period for Bruce and Steph.

Which is sort of a shame, because I think they would have eventually realized that they have a lot in common. And that even some of their differences could have actually been good for their partnership. (For instance, when Steph realized she had been chattering in his ear all night back during her first mentorship and was mortified, and Bruce basically told her it's fine, keep talking, he sort of liked it? I think he actually meant that.)

[kikizoshi]

Godos Fluff Headcanons I Absolutely Adore

(...and some general lifestyle headcanons thrown in)

-Nikolai likes to cover Fyodor with his cloaks/capes sometimes when they hug (like in those long, rocking hugs). It gives him a feeling of comfort, like Fyodor's safe and nothing can hurt him. Fyodor likes it too; to him it feels like an extra layer of endearment and makes him feel safe, secure and loved (plus it's warm).

-Nikolai is one of the few people Fyodor trusts entirely with his ushanka. This isn't a small thing--he usually doesn't even like to let people touch it, but he even trusts Nikolai to spot clean it for him.

-Nikolai absolutely loves to take care of Fyodor, which works well, because Fyodor likes being taken care of. This extends to cooking (where Nikolai will often ask Fyodor to pick one new dish to try to go with whatever staple meal Nikolai's making that week), making him tea most days and keeping the berry preserves stocked up, and nursing Fyodor when he's sick.

Nikolai doesn't enjoy trying to get Fyodor to remember to eat, or sleep, or shower, sometimes, but he takes Fyodor's health even more seriously than his own most of the time, and so is usually trying out some new method to achieve at least one of these things.

-Nikolai worked as a stage actor before he took up terrorism, and practiced a lot at home. Fyodor would often watch his practicing, occasionally give feedback, and they might talk a bit about the story afterwards. This was a common before-dinner activity for them, which was mostly for fun, but also helped Fyodor get out of his work headspace and into his home headspace, and of course Fyodor's psychology-based feedback often helped Nikolai with his nuances in his delivery.

-Dinner is a very important together time for them. Both make a point of having dinner together as often as possible, so that they're sure to have time together to talk. Though late-night conversations are also common with them, there's always a chance of Fyodor being sucked back into work or Nikolai needing extra time to work something out/rehearsals or shows taking place at night, so they make dinner the designated time together. Also, since their dinner is usually a dish Nikolai made, Nikolai likes to share the food with Fyodor, and Fyodor likes to appreciate the shared food with Nikolai.

-Depending on how late Nikolai's shows ran while he was in a play and what came after, they may have dinner together as late as 1 or 2 in the morning, but still, they always ate together (Fyodor was almost never ready to go to sleep by then anyway, which I'm sure helped, but the idea that he shared his usually alone-time with Nikolai is sweet to me).

-Regarding the dishes: generally the system is that Nikolai cooks and Fyodor cleans. The everyday dishes are usually washed by Fyodor, since he goes to sleep much later than Nikolai and often has several cups of tea and snacks long after Nikolai's gone to bed. Nikolai puts away the clean dishes in the morning, long before Fyodor wakes up.

-Regarding their sleep schedules: Nikolai (according to himself) tends to find his moods and general thought process annoyingly mercurial if he ends up more than an hour off his sleep cycle, and so is fairly regular with going to sleep around 23-24 and getting up around 6-7 (giving up his precious productive night hours was hard on him--the time past 1-ish when your brain lets you be creative--but he soon learned to replace them with alcohol). This of course can be completely thrown out of balance when he has rehearsals/shows, but the rest of the year, he sticks to it religiously.

Fyodor has no such trouble with moods and, like Nikolai, finds his best hours to be in the early morning. So, he generally goes to bed around 3-5 and wakes up at 11. Unlike Nikolai--whose body, like a clock, always keeps him asleep for exactly eight hours--Fyodor relies on alarms and always gets up at 11, unless he has somewhere to be earlier. He doesn't generally go to bed earlier though, so he just tends to be (more) tired on those days.

-Fyodor's usually tired (either from his sleep schedule, physical ailments, or both), and his energy levels tend to range from moderate to low. At first this irritated Nikolai for a bit, I think, but he eventually came to learn what Fyodor's low-energy emotes meant (which can look kind of funny when Nikolai reacts to an emotion that seemingly isn't being expressed).

-Nikolai loves swing dancing, but Fyodor doesn't usually have the stamina for it. So instead, when the dancing itch arrives, they waltz or do some slower dance with a bit of verve. Dancing's difficult in the narrow living room, but they manage (and, when Nikolai's brother and sister-in-law come over, he swing dances with them, which Fyodor enjoys watching).

-There's a park a few roads down from where they live, and they often in the late spring and early summer enjoy playing violin and cello together out in the greenery. Nikolai especially loves when the birds twitter while they're playing.

-Speaking of birds, Nikolai also loves going out with Fyodor and pigeon-spotting. Sometimes he'll take a bag of breadcrumbs to sprinkle for the birds they come by. He does this alone too, but enjoys sharing this activity with Fyodor.

-Nikolai also, when he has more free time, enjoys bird-watching. He keeps a journal of the different birds he sees, how many, etc. When he gets up at about 6, they're really active, and sometimes he'll luxuriate in an hour of peaceful bird-watching and documentation from the kitchen window. (Unfortunately, the window view is onto the street, so he doesn't see as many as he would in a park or garden, but he still sees enough to be somewhat satisfied.)

Fyodor isn't very interested in birds in and of themselves, but he loves listening to Nikolai's enthusiasm, love for and musings about the little creatures, and so will often ask about Nikolai's recent sightings when he knows Nikolai's been bird-watching.

-Fyodor loves to use terms of endearment. 'My Dove' and 'Dear' are his favourites outside of 'Kolya' (and its variants). Nikolai likes to take inspiration from the moment to make pet names, so may say something like 'My Little Red-Nose' (when Fyodor's sick) or 'Drowned Rat' (when Fyodor's wet and upset about it) (I imagine most of them would be animal or food related, but my imagination has a rough time keeping up with Nikolai's), as well as 'Fedya' (and its variants). He might also call Fyodor 'Fedka' if he's feeling derisive enough, though I can't imagine Fyodor would ever call Nikolai 'Kolka'.

-One thing Nikolai loves about Fyodor is that, when Nikolai gets into one of his black moods, where he can't seem to enjoy or appreciate anything, and, in general, just wants to sink into nothingness, Fyodor understands and doesn't judge him, nor expect more. Fyodor will usually take up the cooking (which... his food is usually bland and tasteless, but neither care all that much in those times), keeps the lights dimmer/curtains drawn, and most of all lets Nikolai come to him.

He also doesn't complain about lack of hugs, though they're very important to him. Nikolai finds hugs disturbing in a black mood, because he can't feel anything from them, and so they just distress him. It is harder on Fyodor than I think he usually admits to himself though, not being able to hug or pet or really comfort at all his friend who's in so much pain.

-Fyodor doesn't like being around drunk people, but Nikolai often relies on alcohol to get him into the right headspace to work. To compromise, Nikolai tries not to get more than tipsy around Fyodor, generally going for lightly buzzed, and usually does it while Fyodor's working. (Though this does go out the window sometimes if Nikolai wants badly enough to numb his emotions.)

-Fyodor gets miserably sick relatively frequently (~3-4 times a year), often with the changing of the seasons, which usually knocks him out for a solid two weeks. Nikolai hovers and cares for him with all the terrified devotion of a mother whose baby suffers from scarlet fever. The sheer nervous energy emitted from Nikolai tends to overwhelm and tire Fyodor out, but he still finds Nikolai being there to take care of and be with him to be more comforting than if he was alone (him having to comfort Nikolai tires him out, but also helps him feel more at peace). (Occasionally, maybe a little less than once a year, Fyodor will have a seizure bad enough to keep him in bed for a few days, and the dynamic's about the same as when he's sick.)

-A few times, Nikolai kept vigil over Fyodor's sick body (the first time being after a particularly bad seizure left Fyodor bedridden for five days, a few months into their friendship). It… Well, let's just say it never ended well for Nikolai. Fyodor eventually managed to calm Nikolai down enough about his frailty to get him to compromise on sleeping close together (though Fyodor first tried sending Nikolai away, Nikolai worked himself into an even bigger panic when he couldn't see how Fyodor was doing).

-Nikolai is absolutely terrified of doctors. He's also a borderline hypochondriac. Thankfully, Nikolai's aggressively healthy (except for some minor stomach issues and some major mental issues), so this isn't often a problem. However, the few times it was, and Fyodor genuinely needed Nikolai to go to a doctor, it always took a very long and drawn-out discussion to convince Nikolai that the doctors weren't going to torture him to death (Fyodor never learned what exactly Nikolai was afraid of, but it seemed something along the lines of what you'd expect from a BCE Chinese torture chamber, or Yosano's clinic).

-Needless to say, Fyodor's spent many a night listening to Nikolai's fears and explaining why they're likely not one of The Horrors. He might have gotten tired of it, except Nikolai's fears were usually so creative and obscure that Fyodor actually often found them fascinating.

[ourceliumnetwork]

apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.

[floral-hex]

I’m out of town for a couple of days for my brother’s chess tournament and the internet in this hotel sucks butts and I only brought one book with me 😓

[fatherbrat]

ONE LAST TIME, R. SUNA

sum. two months into your relationship with your current boyfriend, your ex-fwb finally sends you a voicenote to let you know exactly how he feels about it.

feat. rintaro suna

cw. ex-fwb!suna, cheating, mutual masturbation (kinda lol), jealousy, dirty talk, anal mention, pillow humping, possessiveness, degradation

wc. 1.2k

When you posted your first official pictures of you and your new boyfriend, you had expected Suna to react…negatively. You basically braced for impact the moment you hit post, but all you got from him was an Instagram notification and two texts.

sunarin liked your post.

rin ;)

lmk if you want me to delete our pics.  and hmu when you two break up :p

You never bothered replying, initially not sure how to reply, and then forgetting about the texts entirely. The two of you barely have any contact for a few weeks after that, but he's obviously keeping up with your socials; liking every post and viewing every story. It doesn't bother you, but it's weird going cold turkey on your relationship like that. You had expected him to reach out for some sort of closure. You wanted him to. 

Halloween swings by in no time, and (much to you boyfriend’s dismay) you dress up as a sexy nurse. You don’t remember much of the night, but you do know that you posted a picture of you and your friends all dressed up on your story before getting blackout drunk. 

Your phone dies early on in the night. Your friends take good care of you up until it’s time to bring you back home, and you don’t wake up until the afternoon. You don’t check your phone until a couple hours after that—long after it's been turned on and charged to 100%. 

When you finally check it, two particular notifications catch your attention. 

sunarin liked your story. 

rin ;)

Voice Message

The voice message is 12 minutes long. 

You exit your texts immediately, opting to distract yourself by tending to your other notifications. It doesn’t help much. Your mind races, wondering what he was talking about for so long and if it was really so important that he reached out after almost four months of near-silence. 

You toss your phone onto your bed, shaking your head. You try to ignore it, cleaning the bathroom and folding the laundry and vacuuming the living room all in an effort to forget about the lengthy recording sitting in your phone. 

But it doesn’t take long for the curiosity gnawing at you to win. 

You practically run back to your bedroom, grabbing your phone and sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed. Your fingers move quickly across the screen, hitting play without hesitation. 

The first 8 seconds are nearly silent, and you start to wonder if it’s possible that he sent such a long message by mistake.

But then you hear a heavy sigh.

“I like your costume.” His tone is hushed, like he’s telling you a secret. “You look hot.”

There’s another moment of silence, like he’s giving you a chance to change your mind and stop listening. 

But then Suna moans and your eyes nearly bulge out of your head. 

“You never answered my text, y’know. When I asked if you wanted me to delete our pictures. So, uh, I kept ‘em.”

Oh. 

Oh fuck.

“I’m looking at one right now. It’s from last Halloween. When you-“ His breath hitches. “When you went as a Playboy Bunny.”

You remember. Suna dressed as Hugh Hefner and the two of you went to a party together. Then he took you back to his apartment and fucked you while you were still wearing the bunny ears and bowtie. 

You’re pretty positive you’re not wearing the bodysuit in the picture he’s looking at. 

“I don’t know how much of this night you actually remember, but I can describe the picture for you.”

You tense, anticipation sending goosebumps up your arms. 

“You’re kneeling on the ground, looking up at the camera, and you’ve still got those bunny ears on your head.”

This voice message is going in the last direction you thought it would.  Is he—?

“You’ve got cum all over your face, baby.” He laughs to himself before continuing. “And you’re sticking your tongue out like a fucking whore.”

Suna takes a ragged breath, a sound you're all too familiar with. It confirms your suspicions—he’s definitely jerking off. 

“That was a good night. We had a lot of good nights.” He sounds miffed all of a sudden. “I seriously doubt the boyfriend is fucking you as good as I did.”

You suppress a shiver. A pang of guilt heats your chest at the mention of your boyfriend. You should stop listening. Delete the message. Tell him to delete the pictures and then probably block him. 

Or you could let the message keep playing. 

Suna inhales sharply, followed by a shaky moan. You swear you can hear the sound of his fist stroking his dick. 

“I hope you’re not letting him put it in your ass like you let me. That’s our thing, okay?”

Under different circumstances you would have laughed. 

“Fuck,” he hisses. “And I hope you’re not letting him spit in your fucking mouth. Or–shit–doing that thing where you’d suck me off with your head hanging upside down off the bed.” He falters at the end of the sentence, groaning into the phone.

“I’m not gonna–” he interrupts himself, sighing deeply. “I’m not gonna pretend I’ve been happy for you. I miss you.”

You feel hot all over, a heady combination of annoyance and arousal and embarrassment. There’s a dull throbbing between your legs and in the back of your mind you wonder if this is what Suna wanted when he sent the message. 

“Just–just let me fuck you one more time. Okay princess? I’ll make it sooo good for you,” he whines. You can hear his hand picking up speed.

“It’s still early. Two months is nothing, it won’t even count as cheating.” You can hear the smirk in his voice. “God, just one last time. Please?”

Without thinking, you grab a pillow and position yourself over it in a straddle. You won’t let him fuck you, but that doesn’t mean he can’t make you come one last time.

“I promise I’ll do that thing you like with my tongue. And you can pick all the positions if you want to.” There’s a tremble in his voice. “Or just lay there. I’ll do all the work.”

You grind into the pillow beneath you, picturing the expression you know he’d be wearing if he were in front of you–batting those dark eyelashes with raised eyebrows, just barely able to control the smug curve of his lips.

Heat pools in your gut and a whimper falls from your lips. Suna keeps talking.

“I know you miss me. You have to. You’re probably touching yourself to this right now.” 

You gasp softly and rock your hips faster.

“Such a fucking slut.” You hear the telltale quiver in his voice that tells you he’s getting close. “My fucking slut.”

You moan, his words giving you flashbacks.

“Oh fuck. Fuck, I’m coming,” he rasps, before letting off a series of moans and whimpers that almost make you concede. You grind harder into the pillow beneath you, imagining Suna in his room, chest heaving, talking into the phone and making himself come to pictures of you. 

That does it. A tsunami of pleasure washes over you, forcing your body to tense before you go limp, collapsing onto your bed with a shudder.

You and Suna breathe in tandem, both of you catching your breath. 

You hear another laugh through the phone. “Damn, that was a lot.” There’s the sound of sheets rustling. “Kinda made a mess, princess.”

He’s silent for another few beats before clearing his throat. “Text me, okay?” he says quietly. “Please.”

The voice message ends.

part two

[leaderwonim]

❀﹐𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐍𝐎𝐖

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

synopsis: in which married couple park sunghoon and park y/n are on their way to court to divorce when they suddenly get into a car crash, losing their memories entirely. over time, they start to fall inlove with each other all over again.

genre: angst, exes to lovers + strangers to lovers (ynhoon are soulmates your honor!!) fluff

“You are the most immature person I have ever met!” You shout, “I should’ve never married you in the first place!”

“Finally, something we can both agree on.” Sunghoon seethes, and you just know the taxi driver is uncomfortable by the way he’s awkwardly looking in the car mirror.

The both of you crossed your arms stubbornly, huffing like little children who just threw a tantrum.

The only reason why you and Sunghoon were getting a divorce in the first place was because he was so busy at his office, inheriting the CEO position from his father just months earlier.

You felt lonely, and it really didn’t help that Sunghoon didn’t give you any reassurance because he was too tired.

“Aish, why is this red light taking so long?” Sunghoon angrily mumbles underneath his breath.

“Well maybe it’s your negative energy.”

“Can you be mature once in your life?” Sunghoon snaps back.

The taxi driver, very annoyed with the both of you, continues driving when the light turns green.

Then all of a sudden, a car rams through the intersection, crashing directly into the taxi.

You scream, and Sunghoon instantly puts his arms around your frame, shielding you.

Then, all goes black.

For a second, you could see the day that you and Sunghoon got married.

It was a Sunday, at the beautiful church nearby Sunghoon’s parents house, and you were wearing what Sunghoon called the most beautiful dress he’d ever seen. It was plain white, but long and so beautifully designed that it didn’t need any other colors.

When you arrived at the altar, Sunghoon had bursted into tears. Some of his friends, Jake, who had traveled all the way from Australia to attend, patted the boy on back as comfort.

That day was nonetheless the happiest day of your life. You don’t know if Sunghoon feels the same, and looking back, it feels like such a shame that you’re throwing it all down the drain.

❀﹐

BLEEP. BLEEP.

Your body jolts awake, head practically killing you with the amount of ache it produced as you tried to sit up.

“Patient is up!” The nurse says before walking into your room with a tray. “Good morning, are you feeling okay?”

You raise your hands to touch your head, which was bandaged by some soft tissue material.

“Where am I?” You say, looking around the room. You spot a unknown man groggily getting up, and for a second, you can’t help but notice how handsome he was.

That was besides the point, though.

“You’re in the hospital.” The nurse says, smiling softly. “Do you remember the events leading up to this?”

“I.. I don’t remember anything, actually.”

The nurse still smiles at you reassuringly. “It’s alright lovebug, it seems as though you two have lost your memories.”

“Us two?” You question.

“Yes.” She points to the guy on the other bed right next to you who just looked like he woke up from death. He too looked badly injured like you, having a broken hand and bandage around his head. “Park Sunghoon-ssi was in the same car as you and got injured as well.”

Park Sunghoon. Why did that name sound so familiar?

“Well since you're both awake," she said, relief evident in her voice. "You've been in an accident. Do you remember anything Sunghoon-ssi?”

Sunghoon shook his head slowly. "No... I don't remember anything."

The nurse nodded, sympathy in her eyes. “It's not uncommon for victims to lose their memories after a traumatic accident. Memory loss can be temporary. Just focus on resting for now.”

The nurse leaves the room, leaving you and Sunghoon alone.

“She said we were in the same car together,” you say slowly. “But I really can’t remember what you are to me.”

Sunghoon shrugs. “Me either. All I remember vividly is my parents. You must’ve been an acquaintance of mine, then.”

You nod, stretching your limbs. “You got more injured than me.”

He lets out an airy chuckle, lifting his broken arm which was in a cast into the air. “Yep, broken arm.”

You want to remember so badly what had happened leading up to all of this. What were you doing? Where were you going, and why were you with this Park Sunghoon guy in the first place?

“What did you get for breakfast?”

Sunghoon breaks the silence between the two of you, and you slowly look down at the tray in front of your bed.

“Uh, the nurse got me tiramisu and oatmeal.”

“Tiramisu?” Sunghoon’s mood automatically brightens up. “Can we please switch sweets? I really love tiramisu.”

You laugh at his childlike behavior, but nod anyway. “I’ll bring it to you Sunghoon, wait.”

You don’t know why, but it feels so right saying his name. Sunghoon must’ve felt the same way, because he swore his mouth went dry at you calling out his name.

You carefully make your way out your hospital bed, making sure not to accidentally detach any monitors that were attached to you. Grabbing the tiramisu cup, you make your way over to Sunghoon, who’s already shaking in excitement.

Then you make your way back, opening the lid of your oatmeal bowl.

“I may not know what happened in the accident,” Sunghoon says. “But I know this tiramisu is so fucking good.”

You shake your head, laughing at his words. “Yah Sunghoon, you think we were best friends before all of this?”

“Maybe.” He mutters, the mascarpone cheese of the tiramisu leaving a mark on the side of his lips.

“Well our humor is alike.” You say. “Would explain why we were in the same car together. Maybe we were going out to lunch.”

The rest of the day was spent with Sunghoon and you cracking jokes then and there, the awkwardness of the two of you being strangers quickly faded.

❀﹐

The next day, you were given tiramisu once again while Sunghoon was given cookies.

You descended from your bed, once again, and gave the tiramisu cup to Sunghoon while you grabbed his bag of cookies.

“You know what’s funny?” You say, biting into the warm chocolate chip cookie.

“What?” He says, although it’s muffled from the amount of tiramisu he’s stuffed into his mouth.

“Yah, you gotta stop doing that, it’s gross.”

Sunghoon sticks his tongue out at you, which makes you giggle.

“We’re both Parks, isn’t that funny?”

“Huh,” Sunghoon looks up at the ceiling, thinking for a brief second. “Park Sunghoon and Park Y/N. That is funny.”

Maybe both of your humors are broken because you hit your head too hard during the crash, but even though you were at the hospital, you’re glad you have someone like Sunghoon to keep you company.

“Do you want to watch the stars with me tonight at the balcony?” You ask the boy, who nods softly.

“I’d love to, actually.”

And that’s what the two of you did. By the time it hit 10pm, you two tiptoed out to the balcony, making sure to not let any of the night nurses see you.

“Whoaaa, it’s beautiful.” Sunghoon says, letting his broken arm lean against the railing. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?”

You smile, leaning your head on Sunghoon’s shoulder.

“Sunghoon.” You say, voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“I’m not sure what we were before the accident,” you stop for a second. “But I’m glad we knew each other.”

Sunghoon turns his head to look down at your face, his expression morphed into a genuine smile. “I’m glad we knew each other too Y/N.”

That night, you slept the most compared to the other nights at the hospital. In your dreams, you see Sunghoon—only instead of being at the hospital bed right beside you, he’s in the kitchen, wearing a black suit.

“You look nice today.”

“Thank you baby.” Sunghoon leans down to give you a kiss on the lips. “Is that tiramisu?”

You nod, your eyes full of love. “Of course, you’ve been working so hard so I decided to make your favorite.”

He wraps his arms around your waist, letting the two of you swing back and forth slowly. “Thank you my love, I seriously don’t know what I would do without you.”

You woke up in a cold sweat, the dream feeling all too real.

“What’s wrong?” Sunghoon says, and you swore your heart almost leaped out of your chest, not expecting the brunette boy to be awake.

“It’s 2am, why are you even awake?” You say croakily, hands coming to rub your tired eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He shrugs. “Hey, I had a really weird dream just now.”

“Me too.” You say, “you were in it.”

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t further question it. “You were a lawyer in my dream, you just graduated from Seoul University. We bought a house, and you told me you wanted to continue with your career.”

At least his dream was somewhat normal, you think. I can’t just tell him I dreamt of us being together and being all lovey dovey. He’d be thrown into a coma!

“Ah, mine was similar.”

Nice save Y/N.

Sunghoon suddenly gets up from his bed, deciding to sit at the dining table the nurses had brought out for the two of you yesterday night.

“Come sit with me.”

You slowly creep out of your bed, sitting on the empty seat next to Sunghoon.

Suddenly, you’re hit with a sudden pounding headache.

“You’re the worst, Sunghoon!” You scream on the top of your lungs, “I hate you! I hate you!”

“Stop screaming!” He grabs your arms gently, eyes directly looking into yours. “Y/N-ah, stop it.”

“So I’m Y/N to you now?” Your voice breaks. “No more baby or love? Am I just another person to you Sunghoon?”

“Of course not, why would you say that?” He pinches the bridge of his nose, taking in a deep inhale. “Let’s just talk about this calmly, okay?”

“What’s there to talk about? You are never home, you’re always cooped up in your office! We might as well get a divorce!”

Sunghoon’s hold on your shoulder makes you snap out of your daze.

“Hey, you okay?” He says concernedly, “you were breathing heavily.”

“What?” You gasp. “Yeah—yeah, I’m okay. I just think I had a flashback.”

“Really? What was it?”

You don’t want to tell Sunghoon that it was the two of you fighting. Why did you even mention divorcing in the flashback? Were you and Sunghoon something more than just friends?

“Just the crash.” You say. You want to tell him the truth, you really do, but you’re not sure if these were hallucinations from how hard your head was hit during the trauma or if they were actual flashbacks.

“Well, I’m here.” Sunghoon whispers reassuringly. “I’ll always be here. We survived a car crash together anyway, we’re kinda bonded to each other.”

You laugh, smacking him on his shoulder softly. “You’re insane.”

“Maybe.”

❀﹐

“Do you remember what your passion was before all of this?” Sunghoon asks, peeling his orange with his injured hand.

“I haven’t really thought about it,” you say, “l think I really would’ve liked becoming a mother. I love kids, the thought of them makes me happy.”

“I think you would be a great mother.” Sunghoon says quietly. “Even though we don’t know each other much, I can tell you’re loving.”

You look down at your lap, trying to suppress the bright smile forming at the corner of your lips.

“Thanks Hoonie.”

“Hoonie?”

Your eyes widened. “I’m sorry! Did I make you uncomfortable? I should’ve not—”

“It’s okay Y/N,” he chuckles. “It’s fine. I like it.”

You can’t help but laugh along with him. “Okay.”

The next few days go by quickly, with you and Sunghoon already warming up to each other.

You were both comfortable enough to speak your thoughts freely around one another, no matter how silly or ridiculous some of them seemed.

When the nurses brought you two breakfast, Sunghoon almost dropped his fork in shock.

“They gave me tiramisu.” He says, eyes glistening with joy. “They finally gave me tiramisu.”

“I don’t know why you’re so excited.” You snicker jokingly. “You’ve been eating my tiramisu this entire week.”

He turns around to look at your tray, which had a bag of snickerdoodle cookies on it.

With shaking limbs, he makes his way over, handing the tiramisu cup to you and swapping it with your cookies.

“I thought you hated snickerdoodle cookies, Hoon?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed.

“I do.” He admits. “But you’ve given me your tiramisu all week, I wanted you to have mine this time.”

Your heart swells at that, and you point your spoon at him accusingly.

“Yah, is this because you want my chocolate pudding at dinner?” You joke.

“Pffft, what? Nooo.” He quickly defends himself. “But if you’re willing to share—”

“Shut up Park Sunghoon!”

“Yes ma’am!”

❀﹐

You don’t know why, but you’re starting to feel giddy whenever you talk with Sunghoon.

Your palms does this thing where it sweats profusely, and your tongue feels like dried sandpaper.

There’s no way you like Park Sunghoon, right? You’ve barely known the guy for two weeks, so why was the heart racing at the thought of him?

“I’ve convinced the nurses to get us two bottles of coca cola,” Sunghoon says, practically jumping up and down as he entered the room.

“Really? Out of all the drinks you could’ve persuaded them to get us, you got us coke.”

“Don’t diss Coca Cola like that!” Sunghoon says, crossing his arms.

Just like Sunghoon had said, the nurse approaches the two of you an hour later, 2 bottles of coca cola in her hands. She hands one to Sunghoon, then to you.

"Enjoy." She says, smile reaching her eyes.

Sunghoon's eyes light up when he opens the bottle and takes a sip. "Ah, for some reason, this feels so nostalgic."

A little memory pops up in his head, one of him playing at the park with his mom and younger sister.

"Sunghoon-oppa! Mom says she brought us coca cola!" The young girl, Yeji, says. "C'mon! Come with me!"

The young Park Sunghoon lets his younger sister take his hand, running towards their mom who was on the other side of the park.

"What's wrong Sunghoon-ssi?" You ask, noticing how his thick eyebrows were furrowed and his grip on the bottle had tightened.

"Huh?"

"You zoned out for a bit."

He chuckles nervously, glancing around the room. "Sorry, I think I just had a flashback." He says. "Park Yeji."

"Who?"

"My younger sister." He explains. "I could see her clearly. I wonder where she is right now."

You too wondered where your family was. Maybe they were too busy to come visit you. You could briefly remember having a younger brother. Jungwon. Yang Jungwon.

"Cheers." He says, mood changing quickly. His canines shined brightly as he smiled, making him look all too gorgeous in your eyes. "To the car crash, for bringing me and Park Y/N together."

You giggle, raising your bottle in the air. "Cheers to the car crash, for bonding me with this weird guy named Sunghoon."

"Yah!"

❀﹐

"Is it weird?"

"Hm?"

It's 11pm, and you and Sunghoon face each other as you're both laying on opposite ends of the room.

"That we've known each other for only a few weeks and I already feel like I've known you for an entire lifetime?"

You smile at his words, shaking your head. "No, I feel the same way Hoonie."

"Would it be stupid to say out loud how much I want to kiss you right now?"

Your mouth almost drops at his boldness, but you quickly shake your head.

Sunghoon takes your silence as approval, sitting up to come over to your side.

He brushes the hair away from your face, leaning in to close the gap between your lips.

When the both of you pull away, you automatically lean in again, the feel of his lips on yours felt so right.

"I love you Sunghoon." You say as you cup his cheeks. "I don't want to fight anymore."

"I know," he whispers. "I love you. Cause even though we were both going down, we were going down together."

"I hate you." You say, a smile playing on your face. "I hate you for being the only person who I can't stay mad at."

"And I love you," he says. "For being there for me, always."

"Sunghoon."

"Hm?"

"I love you."

He smiles down at you, uninjured hand coming to hold yours. "I love you too."

❀﹐

"What?" You say flabbergasted.

The next morning was the date of both yours and Sunghoon's discharge, and both your families decided to come visit.

"You two were married." Your father explains, a bewildered expression on his face. "How could you not know? Was the Park Y/N not obvious?"

"I thought that was just my last name!" You say, defending yourself.

"Your last name is Yang, noona." Your little brother speaks up. It was Jungwon, the same boy you kept seeing in your flashbacks, only this time, his face looks more clear and matured. "It was before you married Sunghoon-hyung."

"You're telling me we got married and divorced?" Sunghoon says, stuttering over his own words.

"Yes son," Sunghoon's mother explains. "Well, not quite exactly. We don't know why you guys wanted to divorce, you kind of shut yourselves out when you were arguing. You didn't officially divorce yet, you got into an accident on the way to court."

That made so much sense now. The flashbacks of arguments between you and Sunghoon, the makeups after the arguments, the cute moments, everything. It started to all click in your head.

"You still share houses and everything, the lawyers had to put your case on hold because you were both hospitalized." Jungwon says. "We were here to pick you up separately, in case you weren't comfortable staying with each other."

"It's fine." You and Sunghoon both say at the same time.

"Are you sure honey?" Sunghoon's mom asks concernedly.

"Yes mom, I'm sure."

The drive home was awkward, you both drove in different cars but to the home you had bought before the accident happened.

"Noona," Jungwon calls out to you. Your parents are still in the car, looking at the scene in front of them.

"Yes Jungwon?"

"Listen, I may not know a lot about love," he says, "but I know what you and Sunghoon-hyung have is real. I could still see somewhere in his eyes that he remembers parts of you and he still loves you whether or not his memories came back or not. I could tell you love him too. I don't know why the two of you decided to divorce but I know you called me crying hysterically because of it. I just think you two needed to talk it out, without the lawyers, without the paperwork. You two are the two most stubborn people I know, but also the two most loving people I know, you wouldn't just leave each other like that."

You want to cry at your younger brother's words, tears already leaking from your eyes. "Thank you Won."

You reach your arms out to hug him, a hug that he instantly melts into. "I love you noona."

"I love you too."

❀﹐

"This isn't what we expected, huh?" Sunghoon says, leaning his head on the marble island in the middle of your kitchen. "This whole time I thought you were my best friend, turns out you were my soon to be ex-wife."

You laugh quietly at the irony of the whole situation. "Whatever we were in the past is in the past Hoon."

He nods. "I can't believe we were going to divorce."

"I can't believe it either."

"You know what my mom told me in the car?" Sunghoon sits up straight to look at you. "The reason I have a broken arm and you don't was because during the crash, I put my arms around yours to protect you. Isn't that funny? Even though we hated each other at that moment, my first instinct was to protect you."

You stay still at that, his words sinking into your brain.

"It's like the universe wanted us to be together." You say quietly.

"Hey Y/N?"

You turn around to face Sunghoon. "Yeah?"

"I'm glad I married you."

Even though you and Sunghoon aren't sure where you stand in terms of relationship, all you know is that you love him, and that is enough for the both of you.

[rosesnbooks]

Astrology observations #5🖤

🌜I wrote these for fun, based on how i see these placements. i'm not a professional! hope you enjoy these🌛

⭐cancer placements allow themselves to feel their emotions. they may get annoyed by the intensity or the amount of them, but they process them fully, and this makes it easier for them to move on. random thought but writing letters to people they like may be something they do or did as kids haha. they're very romantic

⭐some aries venuses have obsessive tendencies when they have a crush, and they get frustrated a lot if they think they can't/shouldn't pursue them. they enjoy the tension, but they don't want it to last too long because they dislike not being in control, and having feelings for someone leaves them feeling too vulnerable. that's why they try to move on if they can, but it takes work. when they do find someone, they become really clingy but they still need freedom when it suits them

⭐mars in libra avoid conflicts and try to be reasonable about everything, but if they think you crossed a line, you'll see why aries is their sister sign pretty soon. once they tell you off, you'll never see them the same way, so underrestimate them at your cost

⭐having stelliums can be interesting. it for sure puts a lot of emphasis on the influence of that house on your life, and i found that it can be both positive and negative since they face lots of challenges related to their house but also many blessings. those who have stelliums kind of embody multiple characteristics simultaneously

⭐sun in the 11th people glow when they are with their closest friends. they also tend to dream big and care a lot about the world. their friends usually help them in their future goals. they feel a bit different than people in their hometown/country, mostly because they cannot be tied down to a single culture because they enjoy different things, which usually makes them quite open-minded and tolerant. they can be picky about the people they let in super close though

⭐mars in the 6th can procrastinate a lot actually, but they get things done. may get sudden waves of high energy and get things done rapidly and extensively. they expect a lot from themselves regarding their ambitions and aspirations. they try to improve themselves in any way most of the time, but they should also accept their current state if they want to evolve and love themselves. they need to watch out for their moral perfectionism too. it's okay to make mistakes as long as you apologise and strive to change for the better

⭐i've found that virgo mercuries can be really direct, even if they are shy or don't talk much around strangers or acquaintances, they have their moments. super funny too

⭐north node in cancer struggle with accepting their vulnerable side. they hate feeling like things and people can evoke strong emotions in them. they want to be more detached, but those that work on themselves find it very rewarding once they embrace their strong emotions. they can also be really reliable, practical, and thoughtful

⭐fire+water combinations in birth charts-i am sending you a hug. i know exactly how difficult it is to keep all those emotions under check, and that you need a lot of understanding and rest to function. use those emotions and passions well hun, you are strong and capable. you have a lot of empathy and wonder inside of you

⭐capricorn sun/mercury have a dry way of texting. their humor is difficult to read via text and they simply are not fans of texting, and it shows lol

⭐aries mercuries are not always available online and they may come and go when they're online, but they'll answer all of your messages one by one with lots of enthusiasm. they also like to send memes and joke around a lot

⭐virgo mercuries are not fans of texting and they can answer you after a couple of days or so even if they really like you. similarly to aries, they'll make sure they answer everything and they also pay attention to every detail you mention. very sweet really. their humor shines brighter in person

⭐taurus moon are very capable. they may prefer rest over anything else, but their patience and dedication to the things they need to do is really cool. they are calm most of the time so it's nice to be around them, just don't disrespect them and everyone will thrive

⭐taurus venus men can be really possessive. even if you like such behavior, some can go to extremes and try to control how you feel, think, and behave. they have a specific image of an ideal partner and they want you to fulfill it

⭐libra venus tend to care about how they look and present themselves so they put lots of effort into that. they also have standards when it comes to beauty and some expect others to dress and look well, whether they know them or not

⭐women with venus in aquarius-you may be attracted to men who are mysterious and act like they're special. just be careful because there are so many toxic ones out there who want a relationship but not truly, because they don't want to dedicate themselves to you and maybe plan on using you

⭐pisces moon can feel like they're drowning in their own emotions sometimes because they cannot control them easily and they tend to give in. if they like to portray themselves as a martyr these emotions can get out of hand because they let those emotions lead them which influences their mental health and relationships. those who are developed process these emotions and try to figure them out and let them pass. they can learn a lot about themselves and others this way. creative outlets can be of help to process this

⭐leo moon need to watch out for hurting people when their ego is hurt because they can lash out and make lots of damage. take a second to think whether it's worth it or not, since there is no point in trying to "win" in a fight with someone you love

⭐pisces mars can be too forgiving, especially to those they care about. don't let people walk over you dear, no matter who they are. nobody deserves that kind of treatment

thank you for reading!🤍i also offer paid astrology readings, so check out my blog for more info

©rosesnbooks

[navybrat817]

Finding the Positive

Pairing: Chop Shop Mechanic!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky didn't have the brightest outlook on life until you came along.

Word Count: Over 1k

Warnings: Established relationship, bit of backstory, fluff, reference to smut, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: Inspired by a sweet nonnie ask and part of my Jaded to Joy AU, which began with Double Shift. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics and gorgeous Bucky edit by the amazing @nixakimbo. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

When you met Bucky, something slowly changed inside him. Before you came along he tried his best to stay positive for Becca, but seeing her struggles with her illness and the stress she was experiencing from medical bills still clouded his heart a little. She deserved a bright future, not a financial burden. Taking a job at the chop shop only darkened his outlook more, leaving him a bit jaded in the process.

A couple of the guys were in the same boat as him, doing what they could to get by or try to build a better life. The rest seemed to get off on taking advantage of others. It made him feel sick. And wasn’t he complicit to everything by working in a place like that? He wasn’t hurting people physically, but he worked with stolen vehicles and parts. It affected people. And he wasn’t that excited at the prospect of opening his own honest shop because why get his hopes up?

But then you showed up in his life like a blazing sun, radiating warmth and hope. You found reasons to smile on bad days, which made no sense to him. He knew you were struggling, that things in your life were far from perfect. So how did you carry yourself as if the weight of the world wasn’t weighing you down?

“I try to look for something positive every day,” you told him. “Even if it takes almost all day to find it.”

It may have sounded corny coming from others, but you said with such sincerity and conviction that he wondered why he hadn’t tried to do something similar. If Becca found reasons to smile and so did you, why couldn’t he? Why wasn’t it that simple?

“So, you don’t see the negative?”

“No, I see the negative and I allow myself to feel it because ignoring it won’t do me any good. I just don’t allow myself to dwell in it,” you explained, nudging his shoulder. “Being positive doesn’t mean I’m happy every single moment of every day. I’m still learning, still growing, and still looking for the sunshine even on the dark days.”

“And what happens one day if you can’t find the sunshine?”

You gave him one of your brightest smiles. “Then I’ll have to be my own sunshine, won’t I?”

It was inspiring. Life wasn’t easy for you, but you refused to let it get you down. Your attitude on your worst days was still better than Bucky at his best. While he would never see the world through rose-tinted glasses, your outlook made it look a little brighter. And while he allowed himself to vent or feel anger, he didn’t stay in that headspace. He took your words to heart and made sure to look for something positive.

You were in the kitchen when he got home from work and he was content to watch you at the stove with a soft smile on his face. The blend of spices made him smile more when he realized you were cooking one of his favorite meals. You were so thoughtful, so beautiful, and you saw the best in him. He’d never be able to give you a fancy house, but he’d give you a better home one day.

“Hey,” you smiled over your shoulder, his heart skipping a beat. He captured the image in his mind and tucked it away for when he’d need a reminder of the good things in his life. “How long have you been standing there?”

He strode across the room and rested his chin on your shoulder once he was close enough. Wrapping his arms around you, he turned his face and breathed in the sweet scent of your perfume. Soft yet surprisingly powerful, just like you. “Long enough to find my positive for the day.”

“Oh, yeah? Tell me about it,” you said, resting a hand over his as he began to sway you back and forth.

“Well, work sucked and I’m pretty sure one of the guys tried to steal the lunch you made me,” he told you, smiling when giggled. He kept his hand over yours when you tried to grab a cooking utensil. “But I finally got that overtime pay and it was more than what I expected.”

He didn’t like working the extra hours if it meant being away from you, but the money helped, and he wouldn’t have to do it much longer. It was for a better future, a brighter future. One that he was building with you.

“That’s great!” His heart skipped a beat again when you turned your head far enough to brush your lips against his. “That’s a huge positive.”

“It is,” he said, helping you stir. He was a decent cook, but a novice compared to you and you always managed to put together delicious meals on a budget. “I started thinking about us working at the shop together. Me working on cars and bikes, you in the office making sure things are running smoothly.”

“And sneaking into the office for a quickie?” You pressed your hips back against his, making him groan and grit his teeth when you did it again. You were the best kind of tease. “I know you, Bucky.”

As tempting as it was to put you on the counter and feast on your delicious cunt, there would be plenty of time for that after dinner. “I know you, too, and you’d welcome that,” he said, nipping between your neck and shoulder.

You gasped, shutting the stove off. “I would,” you agreed as you leaned back against him. “I think that’s my positive of the day; thinking of us working together and creating more memories.”

He shut his eyes. Having someone so loving and uplifting wanting to spend time with him blew his mind. It seemed too good to be true, but it wasn’t. This was his life.

“I’m looking forward to it, baby,” he whispered.

He was looking forward to every moment with you, even on the days where it would take longer to find the positive.

No nickname yet for this reader, but I adore them. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[gracieheartspedro]

Nobody Likes A Secret

pairing: no outbreak rich older!joel miller x afab reader.

how to help the palestinians and what it means to write for the last of us characters

word count: 3k words

description: a rich wealthy playboy who becomes enthralled by his neighbor's daughter. it never ends well when he can not fathom having happiness for himself.

warnings: ANGSTY!!!!!, age gap (joel is in his 50s, reader is in her mid 20s), wealthy!joel, neighbor!joel, reader is pretty naive and delusional, taboo relationship troupe, mentions of parent death, VERY BRIEF SMUT, joel is borderline evil and very mean. joel calls reader "kid". joel is also a liar. talks of having children.

author’s note: I wrote this all in like... two nights. I listened to illicit affair by taylor swift and nobody likes a secret by lizzy mcalpine a lil much and it ended up here. sorry if I make you sad.

You creep into the large 4-car garage, seeing Joel pacing the oil-stained floor. He’s still in his work clothes, but he looks a bit disheveled. His eyes are wild, his face downturned into a deep-set frown. 

“Joel? Everything okay?”

He shakes his head. “He knows.”

You know only one person who would ruin this. 

‘This’ being an 9-month-long affair with your older neighbor. Months and months of meeting in dark corners, hardly ever seeing each other in the light. 

“How?”

Joel fumbles trying to pull his phone out of his pocket, showing you the 5 missed calls from your Dad. You stare at it blankly, tightening your jaw at the possibility that your Dad is too smart for his own good. Shit, he does know, doesn’t he? He throws the phone down on a nearby leather couch that is positioned near a workbench. Joel was pretty good with his hands, but lately his mind has been anywhere but tinkering with wood in his garage. 

“He came over an hour ago. Sat me down and told me that he was getting suspicious of some outings you’ve had over the last couple months. Said he realized you were not going to the places you said you were going to. So he assumed you had a new boyfriend or something. Then last night…”

You curl your hands into a fist. “Fuck.”

“Yeah. Fuck,” Joel grumbles, running his hands over his face, dragging his lower lids down in frustration, “He said that if I know anything or see anything, I am to let him know immediately. He’s worried you’re fuckin’ around with the wrong guy.”

You had snuck out of your house last night and tiptoed your way into Joel’s car, which was parked in a nearby cul de sac. He promised you a nice late dinner in the city and then he ravished you in a hotel room you two didn’t even spend the night in. He brought you home around 4 am and you snuck back into your bedroom, ensuring nothing in your home was stirred. When you woke up the next morning, your father left you a note that he wanted to do dinner with you that night. Meaning tonight. 

You know this is detrimental, and while you do not want to freak out immediately, you can not help but feel like someone is stabbing you directly in the chest. Joel’s body language is giving off negative signals, so even though you want to hug him and tell him that you can talk to your Dad, you know it’s not going to change much.

Your eyes well with tears, thinking of how this was going to ruin everything. After months and months, you thought you were being so smart.

“We can’t do this anymore,” He whispers.

And God damn, did Joel hate seeing you cry. 

But the tear-filled eyes you are giving him are warranted. You don’t turn away from him like usual. You never wanted to show him any weakness. 

This time you confront him, your nose turning upward and your eyes full of disdain. 

“You said we were being careful,” You murmur, the salty tears falling down your cheeks.

“Not careful enough.”

The bitterness tastes like blood in your mouth. You want to scream at him but keep an even tone instead, “Joel… Just let me talk to him.”

“You knew where this was gonna end up,” He states plainly, his voice not wavering. 

And maybe he was right, but you enjoyed living in a loved-up delusion. Maybe it was the sex or maybe it was the looks he gave you from across densely populated parties you were forced to go to. You would put on a show long enough to make your father happy and then you would somehow sneak away with Joel. You knew if your father caught you with the much older man, he would lose his mind, so you were always cautious. You made sure the doors were locked. The moans would stay hushed. The car was parked far from your front door. And during the time spent away from the house, you would get a girlfriend to lie for you. You were always so careful. 

“Maybe he suspects it’s someone else.” you try to reassure him, but you know it’s falling on deaf ears.

“You know he knows it’s me.”

“We don’t know that for sure.”

Joel rolls his eyes. He knows that your father’s words were simply a warning. If you two continued this schtick, you know better than anyone your father would find out. You knew he already kind of had eyes on you and Joel had caught on to a couple of neighbors watching him from their bedroom windows. He gives your father credit, he was thorough. 

“We have to stop.”

You did not realize how much your heart was banking on making this work. Joel was about 25 years older, so deep down, you knew that no one would accept the relationship. But in your wildest fantasies, you imagined you two would run away together. He had tons of money, you had nothing tying you down, and it could be a perfect escape. You had brought it up one night after you snuck over to his bed and he didn’t explicitly say no. He just giggled and continued tracing circles on your bare back. 

You bite the inside of your cheek, “So you just… don’t want me anymore?”

He huffs, already annoyed you were making it seem like he had a choice.

“It was never gonna work out in the first place, kid.”

You just stare at him. The nickname hit harder than it ever has. After months of sneaking around with you, Joel only ever saw you as that. A kid. 

“Don’t call me that. Ever.”

He notices the rise in your voice and quickly realizes he made a mistake. 

“Listen-”

It’s like every terrible emotion you have ever had comes bubbling to the surface. The resentment you held towards him when he ignored your calls some nights. Or when he refused to get near you at any party. You had your grievances, but you sat there like a good girl and just accepted him the way he was.

It’s like acid in your throat, it burns. 

“No, you listen,” You snap, “You don’t get to play the kid card. You chose this just as much as I did. You told me that my age didn’t matter. You told me that you would want children with me one day. You filled my head with all this bullshit and now when shit gets real, you walk away. You’re a fuckin’ coward, Joel.”

“My reputation and livelihood is on the line for this! You think I don’t still want those things?”

“If you wanted them bad enough, you would fight for me.”

It makes his face drop. His furrowed eyebrows relax and his mouth droops down into a subtle frown. 

You do not know where to go from here. The atmosphere in his garage rises with tension, words just hanging in the air. 

The Annual Miller Christmas Party was the talk of the town. Everyone who received an invitation would proudly display the cardstock on their huge fridges and show their uninvited neighbors to brag. When Joel came over to hand deliver you and your father’s invitations, he told you to wear something sparkly. 

You searched everywhere for the perfect gown for weeks. He had only really shown you attention when forced to be in the same room as you, so you needed to be eye-catching. He was never the guy to wave to you when he was leaving for work or say a quiet hello at the grocery store. Joel was a very regimented man. He never strayed away from his routine which was usually work, hookups with random women, and sleep. He never kept a woman around for too long. You noticed the circulation of women changed every month or so. Joel never wanted to settle down. He had tried that once 15 years ago and his ex ended up with half of his company. 

But you always loved the way the man carried him. Despite his playboy behavior, you were entranced with him. You always thought he was handsome and when you came home at 25 to help your mother who had fallen sick, you knew that your crush had morphed into borderline obsession. Living next to him would be dangerous.

The dress you chose was red, which was fitting for the occasion. And of course, it was sparkly. Just what Joel ordered. 

You spent all day preparing for the evening and when you showed up on his front door on your Father’s arm, he could not peel his eyes away. You were so radiant and perfect. The twinkle in your eyes shone brighter than the glitter on your gown. 

During the night, you drank a couple of glasses of champagne and chatted up some of your Father’s colleagues. You notice Joel’s eyes following you every so often. You can vividly remember thinking, “This man wants me so bad.”

That night Joel cornered you in the hallway by the bathroom. He asked you if you were interested in literature, but really he just wanted you alone in his study. You being you, you enthusiastically said yes and followed him down the unlit corridor. Once he shut the huge wooden double doors, you knew that you would be slipping out of that gown for him in no time. 

And that’s exactly what happened. 

He drove you crazy, peppering kisses all down your body. He would groan every time he heard your shaky breath, knowing that the effect he had on you would become a dependence for him. 

When he first pressed into you, it was different than any other woman he’s ever been with. You did not throw your head back, moaning obscenities. Instead, you stared into his eyes and nodded, encouraging him to continue his movements. It was so sensual and passionate, by the time you two finished, he held you in his arms for 20 minutes. He was never one for pillow talk or aftercare, so he surprised himself.

You were different than any other woman he had ever encountered. 

You had slipped over to his front door a couple of days after the Christmas party, knocking to ask his assistant if he was home. When she brought you into his office, he told his assistant to shut the door on the way out. His eyes never left yours as you bantered to him. He loved your confidence. He bent you over his desk after 10 minutes, tugging up your skirt and swatting your ass for showing up on his doorstep looking “this beautiful”. 

Joel always made you feel so good. His dirty talk went to Harvard. He could make you cum over and over with his husky Southern accent. Every time he called you “darlin’” or “princess”, you would come undone. 

A couple of months into the entanglement, your Mother’s health deteriorated overnight. You and your Father stayed by her side when she took her last breaths. It was devastating, seeing the woman you looked up to your entire life slowly slip away. You felt like a shell of a person, unable to really harbor any feeling other than pain.

Joel called you and let you know he would not be able to attend the funeral due to work commitments. You did not care, understanding that there’s never a good time for someone to die and he had no obligation to come. You arrived at the funeral home and saw a huge arrangement of purple and blue flowers. On the card, was scribbled in his handwriting. 

“What a breath of fresh air she was. Thinking of her family, always. Joel Miller.”

When it was time for the burial, you watched a large SUV pull up right before the final words were going to be spoken. Joel hopped out the back and slowly approached, keeping his distance from you and the rest of the attendees. Once she was lowered into the ground, Joel came over to give his condolences to your inconsolable father. 

You stayed back, watching everyone except him leave. You sat in the first row of fold-out chairs, watching them throw dirt over her casket. He sat down next to you, never saying anything. His hand extended out, touching your hand that was resting on your lap. It was an unspoken thing, but you never felt more seen in your entire life. He somehow knew exactly what you needed. 

Someone next to you.

After a couple of months, you felt more like yourself. You called him one night, asking if he was available for a drive. He parked his truck in your usual meet-up spot. You crawled up into the passenger seat and asked him to drive. You did not care where. You two caught up and once he could tell you were getting back to some semblance of yourself, he made his move. He was stopped at a red light when he placed his hand on your thigh. It was the first time you had sex in his truck. That night kickstarted the affair again, which led to the secret meetings in hotel rooms. You two got more bold with your rendezvous, even taking a weekend to the mountains. You don’t even remember the lie you told your Father as to why you were gone. 

Joel always thought you were capable. He admired you for being such a dynamic woman. To be so strong and delicate at the same time was unheard of. Even though you were much younger than him, you were well-versed in everything. You were professional and smart when it came to business. All the while, you were polite and empathetic. He would frequently come to you when he needed advice about work or an opinion on something ethical. He enjoyed hearing you ramble on about things you were passionate about. And God, did he love your laugh. 

He did not expect to keep you around as long as he did. But your body was like a drug and Joel had a nasty habit. You were always eager and available, and after a while, Joel started thinking maybe it was too much all at once. When you became comfortable enough to sleep over in his bed and make him breakfast, he knew his world was tilted on its axis. 

He needed to find a way to ruin it for himself, as he had done so many times before. 

He “slipped up” one night. As he and his chatty neighbor Jeff sat outside and smoked cigars, he spoke about his desire for you. He didn’t particularly say that you two were together, but simply insinuated that he would like to have you alone. And the rumors spread quickly. Soon enough a little birdie was in your Dad’s ear, feeding him information. 

Joel kept up the act with you, even though it was not really an act. He did like you, hell, he may have even loved you. But he did not want you to need him. So when people started paying more attention to you and him, he knew his plan was set in motion. In no time, it would all come crashing down. 

“If your Dad takes this to the board, I will lose my company. Do you understand that?”

You hated that you understood stupid business jargon. You knew that Joel losing his company would be devastating. But at this point, you could not care less. Because for as long as your affair, you watched his walls fall away. He had let you in more than once and in your delusional state, you believed for a second that he would choose you over his job. 

You clench your teeth as you suck in a sharp breath, tears still streaming down your warm face. 

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then we just end it. This has already gone too far.”

You finally turn away from him, your eyes falling to the concrete floor. As soon as he says those words, chills run down your arms. 

“You know Joel…” You drift off, using your shirt sleeve as a tissue. You wipe away a couple of tears and glare back up at him, “I would have given up everything in my life for this. My job. My relationship with my father. Everything. And the fact that you won’t even give me a chance to talk to my Dad to see if he could spare you and this whole charade, really fucking hurts. I’m not worth that to you and that… That’s what hurts the most.”

“Babe-”

“No. You don’t get to call me that anymore. You don’t get to call me anything.”

The tears flow again as you watch him exhale, his hands on his hips. His hair is unkept and the tie he’s wearing has been loosened. 

“I’m sorry,” Is all he can say while your lip quivers. You are trying not to lose it completely. 

You just shake your head, “No. You’re not sorry.”

He was. He was sorry, but he could not let you ruin everything. 

Joel would soon know that you were everything. And as you left the back door that evening, leaving behind the scent of your perfume, he knew that the smell would somehow taint his sheets, even though you had not been in them for weeks. He already started to miss the feeling of your lips. When he tried to go about his evening, he swore he would see you in the shadows of his large house. He even thought he heard your laugh. You were already haunting him even though the death of your relationship happened just hours before. 

You moved on after a couple of years. Met a guy at your 9-5, settled down, and popped out a few kiddos. Some nights you would lie awake, wondering to yourself if Joel was really happy. You never learned the truth of his deceit. After all, your Father was just grateful that his warning to Joel led to his desired outcome, which was him being gone from your life entirely. 

And Joel would be haunted for the rest of his life. No woman. No drugs. No party. Nothing ever filled the void you left behind. And it was all his fault. Just like it always had been.

[astrobydalia]

Astro knowledge pt. 2

work by astrobydalia

Cancer rules hotels, motels, etc. Hotels are all about hospitality, making people feel welcomed, comfortable, provide for basic needs like a bed, food, etc. Of course this will differ based on quality and the kind of place but in general places designated to provide shelter and a place to stay are ruled by Cancer

When I learned this it made a lot of sense cause my mom has Groom in Cancer and 7th house ruler in the 4th house and she met her fs at a hotel. I know a couple who has Cancer ASC in their composite chart and they met at a hotel

Jupiter is a very unpredictable planet and a negative manifestation of it is that it can make things grow uncontrollably without reliable results. Jupiter can give blessings yes but it does not guarantee success. Those blessings are just opportunities but it's up to you what to do with them.

Astrologically, the key to success is Saturn. That's why success is so hard to obtain and it's a symbol of status or accomplishment. And yes this applies to whatever it is you consider success. Saturn is not about obtaining success in itself, it's about growth, the way we feel accomplished and successful as humans is when we feel like we've grown and flourished overtime. That's why it doesn't matter what your definition of success is, in order to get it you need to mature and go through sacrifices and lessons related to your Saturn placement.

MC/10th house = what success means to you Saturn = also related to what success means to you, but it can specifically tell you how to get it

Moon is related to wealth that's why it is exalted in Taurus!

Moon in a man's chart indicates his wife because Moon symbolizes the divine feminine. Venus is important too but ultimately a man will commit to a woman that satisfies his Moon energy. That's why it is often said that men marry someone like their moms or the way a man treats his mom is how he's gonna treat his wife

5th house rules your creative endeavors and the 11th house rules your public/clients/fanbase/etc. That's also why 11th house is related to money you make in your career (2nd from 10th). If you wanna have your own business you gotta look at both the 5th and 11th houses

Something I don't see people mention much (maybe because its obvious) is that Libra energy makes things to be balanced in itself because Libra is all about avoiding any extremes. Libra makes this to be on the "elevated" or positive side but always keeping it moderate. For example, if you have Libra ruling your money houses your income could be averagely decent, like you could make good money (cause, Venus) but you're not insanely rich either or it does not appear that you are (cause Libra also rule appearances).

Aquarius rules heavy cold winds (you know like those very heavy and erratic winds), that’s why it also rules over airports and planes. I've also seen astrologers say that back in the day, Aquarius used to rule over sailing of bigger boats which also needed heavier winds in order to move

We all know Leo rules inner child. One thing about children is that when you're a kid you kinda don't have a concept of others being their own person and having completely different lives (that's something Aquarius brings awareness to, that's why its the humanitarian), but rather kids tend to assume everyone lives the same way as they do. That's what happens with Leo astrologically, they tend to not understand or fathom or be interested in things that go beyond them or their experience. Their own perspective of life is their whole world and what they will project on everything much like the Sun project its own light into the world. In the case of very unhealthy Leo energy this can go as far as actively minimizing other's experiences and perspectives. When Leo does try to understand others, they have a tendency to circle it back to something they can relate to or is relevant to them or they can understand

There's also another side of Leo that rules teenage years since that’s the period of our lives where we are finding our identity/expression and also where we start to become more interested in romance and sex

In composite, the ASC is how the relationship started and how it generally comes across as but the 7th house is the dynamic the two people have between them, how they actually interact with each other

Both Aquarius and Pisces are the last two of the zodiac wheel and both relate to themes of evolving as human and elevating spiritually but because of this, these signs are the hardest to develop healthily and many people fail to do so. That's why you see many Aquarius and Pisces placements with a god complex or huge entitlement cause both share this sentiment of feeling 'different', more elevated or special than everyone else

Venus finds fall in Virgo bc Venus is a sex goddess, she rules abundance, sensuality, pleasure and indulgence. Virgo on the other hand is the virgin, she's minimalistic, cerebral and modest, she’s too much of a “prude” for Venus.

Since Pisces is the most empathetic sign, its opposite Virgo is one of the most unkind signs unfortunately. Pisces wants to find the beauty in all things and people (Venus exaltation) while Virgo wants to find the flaws and everything that is wrong and needs to be improved or fixed. Pisces is about accepting the "soul" of things while Virgo is attached to an idea of how things should be. That's also why Venus finds falls in Virgo because Venus is related to kindness (this does not mean Virgo Venus people are inherently unkind, this can manifest in any unhealthy virgo placement, it's just an astrological explanation)

Domicile/exaltation is not always positive. When a sign exalts a planet it means that it can enhance both its positive AND negative qualities. That's why exalted mars can manifest as toxic masculinity or why exalted Venus can manifest as textbook enabling behaviour. On the flip side, planets are its fall/debilitation are challenging placements because the positive qualities of the planet are weakened but at the same time its negative qualities can be neutralized. For example, Mercury debilitated can be less prone to pointless rambles and have a more focused intellectual approach, debilitated Venus can be less compliant, etc

The energy that rules horror astrologically is Pisces/12th house/Neptune, we usually associate it just with dreams and idolization but it actually has a creepy and twisted side to it. Neptune is all about blurring the boundaries of reality including what we judge to be good or bad (Virgo). It rules over dreams AND nightmares. Not only that but Neptune energy does not understand the difference between a dream and a nightmare. This characteristic can range from blindness to red flags all the way to having rather morbid fascinations.

Following the above, the association of 12th house with nightmares is also explained by Saturn finding its joy is this house (the so called 'bad spirit', the never-ending burdens that come to haunt you). However, as I explained earlier in the post, Saturn is the key to success so this means Saturn is the key to help you achieve your dreams (12th house)

Pisces/Neptune energy rules spirituality but at its lowest it can also be the most superficial and vain sign (again, the negative side of Venus exaltation) because Pisces also rules illusions and idolization. It can focus so much on portraying an ideal image that it does not dive deep within, wants to escape reality and live a fake ideal

In terms of performance, Leo is theoretically better at sex than Scorpio

How to read the chart of a Nation + some observations

Sun signifies the characteristic of the rulers and it also symbolizes what that country is all about if that makes sense. For example USA is Cancer Sun and they've always been known for they patriotism and how they're very attached to their past as a nation.

Moon represents the people (civilians, population, the society). The energy you will likely experience by actually spending enough time there and start integrating yourself with the people. For example New York has Aries Moon and a relative of mine who used to live there once told me jokingly "with all the hustle and normalized criminality sometimes it feels like a war zone here"

Ascendant is the general national identity they present, the first thing that comes to mind when you think about that place. I've also noticed the stereotypes of a nation a lot of times relate to its ASC. For example Canada (Toronto) is Libra ASC and they’re known for being polite and nice to everyone. Japan (Tokyo) has Virgo ASC and their known for being super diligent and clean (think Marie Kondo). USA (nation) is Sagittarius ASC and they’re known for being loud, entitled, optimistic, multicultural, a massive country, cowboys and country music, etc.

work by astrobydalia

[bouquetface]

DK through the Houses

Darakaraka (DK) Is the planet that has the lowest degree in your vedic natal chart. DK is said to represent your spouse.

Planet, sign + aspects will influence the accuracy. This is going to give surface level insight. It is not a personal read of your placement.

DK in 1st House

You can be controlled by the spouse. This can indicate they are decisive and assertive. They will plan/handle most things that happen in your life. Depending on the planet and its sign placement, you can like or dislike this about the spouse/marriage.

DK in 2nd House

Your money is likely to be managed by the spouse. Spouse may cook or you cook mainly what they desire. Spouse will influence the relationship you have with your family after marriage - bring you closer, separate you or remain neutral. This will depend on the planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment).

DK in 3rd House

Your spouse can influence your communication - who you talk with, what you talk about, etc.

Your spouse can take the responsibility of communicating with neighbours. They can befriend neighbours or if reason to talk with neighbours occurs, they will take care of it.

Your spouse will influence you relationship with siblings. This can be negative (conflict occurs) or positive (they become friends). This would depend on the planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment).

DK in 4th House

Spouse will take on main (not full) control of the home. Where, which home you buy. How the home is decorated. Fixing the home if something goes wrong. Cutting grass, cleaning gutters, etc.

When poorly placed, they may refuse to take any responsibility for the home.

The spouse will take on responsibility for your happiness. Either they feel obligated to keep you happy or your happiness is heavily affected by spouse's moods. Accuracy will heavily be influenced by planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment).

DK in 5th House

Spouse will be very focused on children - raising them or having them. They will influence your education and hobbies as well. EX: Depending on the planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment), they may encourage or discourage you if you wanted to get higher education. They may want control of children's education - homeschool, public or private school, religious school, etc.

DK in 6th House

Spouse will take on responsibilities of your enemies and health. Depending on planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment), the spouse could encourage your anger or encourage you to resolve issues you have.

EX I have seen irl: Sun DK conjunct Venus in 6th: This person does not speak to their biological parents, spouse encouraged them to talk issues out with them. This person declined but still we see the spouse suggesting resolution.

Spouse could be very routined. They could influence your diet - vegan or non-vegan. If you have pets, they could take on more responsibility of taking care of those pets.

Your marriage is likely to be very even especially is venus or libra influences this placement. I have observed this in so many relationships where the spouse and person split household chores, cooking, dish washing, bills, etc. It is not likely for the couple to divide based on traditional gender roles like man will cut the grass, woman will cook and do dishes. It's more like one will cook, the other will do dishes.

DK in 7th House

Spouse will take on main responsibilities for partnerships in your life. They will involve themselves in any conflict you get into - ex: you are fighting with you sister over something small, they will involve themselves in the conversation.

If you were to get into any legal issues, they will take on responsibility like helping fill paper work, reminding you of court date. However keep in mind, accuracy is dependent on the planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment).

DK in 8th House

Your spouse can be heavily involved in their own family matters. They can be very secretive and observant. EX: Someone who pays a lot for good home security.

Accuracy dependent on the planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment).

DK in 9th House

The spouse will teach you something. They can educate you on their beliefs, politics or religion or culture. Depending on the planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment), the spouse could do this arrogantly or kindly.

You can meet mentor type people through the spouse. Like someone from the spouse's family could help you advance your knowledge on your career, your beliefs, your education, etc.

DK in 10th House

The spouse is a workaholic. Depending on the planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment), spouse could positively or negatively influence your career and reputation. EX: Saturn DK in Cap 10th, spouse's discipline and dedication to career inspires you to start doing better.

Spouse could influence your career by somehow deciding where you work, what you do for work, if you can change your career or not. They can involve themselves in your career and work. You could end up working together or meeting at work.

EX: You are a teacher, they will suggest ideas for projects that you take. Or spouse will decide where you work because they decide to move for their career, thus you have to look for a new job in the new location.

If badly placed, they may be very lazy. They could hate working and taking responsibility for anything 10th H related. They may nap and sleep in a lot. This would show AFTER marriage not before.

DK in 11th House

Your spouse will influence your social circle. They can introduce you to new people. They can intentionally or unintentionally separate you from old friend - ex: you move & meet new people, lose touch with your childhood friends.

Your spouse will influence your desires/goals in life. An example I have seen: person wanted to travel and study abroad for a masters, after marrying their spouse this changed to wanting to raise a family. They had Moon DK in sag 11th House.

Accuracy for yourself will be influenced by the planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment). As well as aspects and 7th House.

DK in 12th House

Your spouse can control the money that you spend.

Your spouse can influence your sleeping habits. EX: You can't sleep until spouse is in bed or spouse develops sleep apnea.

Accuracy will be dependent on the planet (is it benefic or malefic) and the sign (neutral, exalted or detriment).

[amarynthian-chronicles]

Equivalent Value

Sebastian Solace x Reader

(warning: suggestive themes)

"Come on, Seb, don't be like that. Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

He reached to place a clawed finger under your chin, tilting his head and grinning, narrowing his eyes.

"You are lovely when you beg. My answer remains negative."

"You are a jerk."

"A merchant's honour is very important, little light. As much as I enjoy your charming pleas, I cannot go against my own rules. You need to offer me something of equivalent or approximate value. And your sweet "pretty please" is not going to cut it."

He was taunting you, relishing the power that your despair offered. Perhaps your own pain was a soothing balm to calm his own wretchedness. It was more tolerable to listen to the shrieks of others than one's own, after all.

Still, you refused his answer. You frowned, crossing your arms over your chest.

"It is becoming insanely difficult to scavenge things and I am just trying to survive at this point. If you want to keep your favourite toy in a functional state, that will require some concessions on your end. Can you please make an exception this time? I am desperate here."

Sebastian could not deny the logic of your statement. You had never allowed yourself to be placed in such a position, and perhaps your claims of not having any research files to bargain with were truthful.

Magnificent. He could make you dance to his music.

He leaned closer, his lips brushing against yours, cruel words dripping like poisonous honey from them.

"How desperate are you, my wayward light?"

Mind games with monsters were a dangerous thing and you would normally do your best to win. However, this time you did not have any advantage and you simply wished to get the needed supplies. You sighed.

"What do you want?"

"The most precious thing you could offer to a starving man in this very moment."

You did not stop him when his strong arms snaked around your waist, engulfing and capturing you. You were his prize, the most valuable type of treasure he could acquire. His ally, his accomplice, sharing his secrets.

You were well aware that he wanted you, your mind, body, and soul. Whether you wished to admit it or not, you yourself were the most powerful card you had against him.

"I hereby offer myself. It is all I have. Will this suffice?"

To your surprise, he gently reached for your hand, kissing it in a gentlemanly manner.

"The payment is more than acceptable."

You blinked in confusion at the sudden change of demeanour. Yes, the feral desire was still there, but his actions were now coupled with a certain tenderness that bordered on worship.

Sebastian took his sweet time, placing many gentle kisses along your hand, then upon each finger. His teeth grazed slowly along your wrist. Your cheeks were burning.

"Oh, my."

"My blessing, my little light, sweet salvation. For years, I had remained here, condemned, left to rot in this oceanic prison. And yet, an angel has been sent to me, tormenting me, mocking me with their warmth, their hope. I shall feast, I shall drink that nectar."

"You send such mixed signals, you know?"

"To keep you guessing, of course."

"Bastard."

His lips claimed yours, eager, showing his claim. Your softness drove him mad, his long tongue reaching to explore the warm and welcoming cavern of your mouth. You made little muffled squeaks, surprised at the sudden surge of passion. Even more so at the length of his rather dexterous tongue that was exploring with pure abandon.

Sebastian decided to savour the moment, gliding his claws along your sides, grinning as he felt you shudder under his touch. Such softness. He had been deprived of the pleasures of simple touch and affection for so long.

Deciding that he should grant you the mercy of allowing you to breathe once more, he released you from the kiss. He nuzzled the soft silken skin under your neck, allowing your warmth to comfort him. Your pulse, your beating heart, a symphony only for him to enjoy.

Sebastian had to gather some control over himself, resisting the need to claim you in that very moment. No, he wished to slowly unwrap his present and enjoy each part of the payment that had been offered. Still, his three hands could not help themselves, fondling and scratching, teasing you all over. You were still gasping for breath, holding onto him.

"Seb..."

"I am busy, darling."

"Don't tear the fabric, I don't have a whole closet of clothing, you know."

"Worry not, I shan't disrobe you just yet. Your payment will be in several installments. This is merely the first one. As for the garments, I can procure you whatever you wish."

"Good thing you didn't print a receipt, while you are at it."

Strong hands kept massaging and squeezing your sides and hips, earning your sweet hums and moans as a reward. You relaxed in his hold, leaning your head on his chest, closing your eyes.

"A little to the right, upwards. My back has been killing me for days, this is wonderful. You should be a masseuse, Seb. Three arms work magic."

He laughed gently at your nonsense, resting his chin on your soft head.

"Of course, my dear light."

[thevulturesquadron]

I've seen a couple of takes on what Varric is in Veilguard, what Solas's role is in 'keeping Varric alive' and I love to read people's interpretation of it, so I thought I'd throw my own two cents on the table.

I never saw Varric as a spirit or something Solas created/ manipulated through the blood connection. Varric was something Rook constructed. The only thing Solas did was to make Rook completely forget he was dead. Turn their confusion into denial, both through the use of blood magic (literally reshape their memory) and through lies. The rest was Rook. This is very important to me because it's a key element of the story: a story about guilt, about the strength you need to overcome it lest it cripples you. Varric's presence for Rook is about traumatic events that you just push out of your conscious mind because guilt and grief, and emotions in general, can be strong enough to take you out of commission. It's a recurring theme in the game - as an example, Lucanis in his quest is literally paralyzed because he doesn't want to face the outcomes of the choices he needs to make. It feels well woven into the story how Varric's presence is something Rook made up.

He's the voice in their head that they talk to when they panic and don't know what to do. As an aside, the absolute contrast between the fact that the dialogue options when dealing with the companions' problems are always reassuring vs. the doubt and exhaustion in Rook's voice when they're talking to Varric is striking! Varric is the conviction that keeps them going. It's what Rook thinks Varric would have said. So in a way EVERYTHING that Varric says to Rook is what Rook says to themselves. It's why the last thing you tell Varric, at the end of the proper goodbye, is 'I know where to find you when I need you': because it shows acceptance, and it shows that Varric will always be the voice in Rook's head that will provide reassurance. It's what people go through: grief, doubt, and finding answers within themselves. It's not uncommon for throughs in your head (both negative and positive) to take on the voices of people in your life. For me, in this bittersweet instance, it's all Rook. Moving on to Solas and how he plays into all of this. I don't think there was any good intent behind Solas's manipulation. There was no benevolence, there was just selfishness, but in the most painful way. The only heartfelt thing Solas did was when he said to Rook 'Tell Varric I am sorry'. That line was so twisted and beautiful because it had two edges: on one side it was manipulative, to check that Rook still believed the lie and to continue building on it, and on the other, it was pity and selfishness. He didn't say that for Rook or Varric. Not really. He said it for himself. Because the only Varric that was still alive was in Rook's head. So if Rook's version of Varric accepts his apology, it gives him a bit of comfort, forgiveness, and absolves him of murdering his friend. That line is SO, SO selfish and intricate. It's beautiful! Such fantastic writing.

The only reason Solas played with Rook's mind in this manner is because he thought it could chain Rook to his prison through their own grief and guilt. That was his plan because his own shortcomings meant that he could only perceive Rook as a mirror of himself. Pridefully, he couldn't see Rook through any other lens. As a result, he is fully convinced that once Rook realizes Varric is dead, after so much time spent in denial, it will break them and keep them trapped in there forever. He allowed Rook to forget his death so he could drown them in so much guilt that his prison would mold itself to them. Solas thought Rook is just like him. That his pain, grief and loneliness are justified punishments, that they are absolutes. He was convinced there was no way of interacting with these emotions other than his. And Rook proved him wrong. I can go as far as saying it's the proof that Solas has been looking for for the past 10 years. That he is wrong and that there IS another way. Rook outgrowing their guilt and self-pity for the benefit of others: that is the first real crack in Solas's own prison.

I could talk endlessly about how the game deals so fantastically with the motifs of guilt, grief, and choice, with the ideas of using others as mirrors of ourselves, but I think this at least sums up how I feel about the whole Rook - Varric - Solas dynamic.