#like actual places and stores
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i lov planning outfits the same way i love drawing diagrams for rearranging furniture. its plotting and scheming
#I GOT THOSE BROWN CORDUROY SLACKS FOR THREE DOLLARS AT A LOCAL THRIFT STORE IT WAS AWESOME#i love smaller more local thrift places. they are so kind and the prices are so good#im puzzling because my lucy and yak pants are stuck in the post during the strike and i realized i only own 1 pants (grunge jeans)#and i get all excited about what im gonna wear to family christmas stuff cus its one of the few times i get to dress up like. FOR people#i love looking classy and gay in front of my grandmother in law who hates me. its so good. its so epic#AND i love looking classy and gay for the family that will actually compliment me. my mom loves me dressing up#cus i grew up soooo resistant to like dresses and what she wanted me to wear until i figured out im a guyyy#now that im doing my own thing shes very encouraging abt my own sense of style yaayaya i love my moommm#my art tag
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i saw the terminal glow
okay,, merry late christmas whoops and goodnightt !! ALSO, thank you everybody for the insane reception on the first post!!, and also check out the donations/gfms on my main page for people in palestine/gaza who are in need! i cant donate, so spreading it around's the best i can do to help <3 ! donate if you can n share it around!
#ULTRAKILL#mirage ultrakill#ultrakill mirage#KRITA#MS PAINT#ALL ART#FANDOM ART#DOODLE#PRACTICE#FULL COLOUR#NO COLOUR#THE GEIGER COUNTER#SMALL CAPTION#EDIT FOR IMAGE ERRORS#EDIT FOR MISSING TAGS#TAG YAP#sorry about sleepy mirage i know its kinda scuffed :-( wuomp sfx#anyway okay so uh#mirage is my fav now#something i didnt expect actually#also a little goodie is that mirage and v1'll have head wires that literally spell out VI / V1#can you see it#v2 will have#well#theirs will be shaped like a VII#does that make any sense even#i hope it does LOL#the pink basket -comma- is from that warehouse store place i mentioned in my first mirage post! but not the stuff inside#Goodies are: Rice balls/Onirigi - Meiji Apollo Strawberry Chocolate - Hanamo Moromi#mirage is eating raw egg and rice in the top right
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In the last eight years or so -- which means it's not just COVID-related issues -- I've lost my favorite local coffee house, my favorite local bookstore, my favorite local quirky restaurant, AND my favorite local Irish pub with the 1916 Easter Rising mural, and now I'm about to lose my favorite local secondhand clothing shop. 😭
#pretty much all of them have to do with an inability to pay the sharply rising cost of rent in this area#the clothing store owner is an 80yo woman who never remembers me lmao but she's very nice and has excellent fashion taste#the bookstore employees actually wanted to collectively buy the business from the owner but the owner said no#because he also owned the building and thought he could make more by renting it out to another business#joke's on him the place has been empty for several years now since he killed his own bookstore SUCK MY DICK MOTHERFUCKER#not unrelatedly now that my dad has officially inherited the house from my late grandmother the county has reappraised the property#and we're anxiously waiting for confirmation of the annual tax to see if we can pay it :/ two attorneys have told us to expect#an increase of like 8-12k/year 😭 and yet california's democratic supermajority failed to pass rent caps 🤡💀#hound barks
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soft launching an outfit at the grocery store
#it’s the perfect place for a trial run; only a short time if u suddenly realize u’re selfconscious as fuck with whatever u put together at#the comfort of ur own home#bc I keep making bad outfits that I’d have to keep thinking abt for like years after if I ever wore them to any actual place#which the grocery store obv isn’t#march 2024#2024
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I absolutely LOVE the Squirtle/Wartortle illustrations by kantaro in Pokemon 151!
The Squirtle jumping so joyfully from the rock into the ocean, the colors are STUNNING! I love the contrast of the Squirtle's aqua blue framed in the vivid orange sky, the soft bit of blue reflecting in its shell and its tail just catching the sun, how little and squishy its body looks as it launches itself towards the water with such tremendous excitement!
The lineless style of the background gives me the feel of a travel poster and I sense the tropical environment around it from the rocks and trees framing the corners, the waterfall splashing with as much energy as the Squirtle!
The layered blues on the surface of the water and the bubbles rising at the corner make me FEEL the liquid rising to meet the Squirtle--I can just feel how the next moment it's going to break through and be immersed in a cool island swim!
And the Wartortle running along the sunset beach, this is somehow everything I always imagined for Wartortle! I adore the way the rich purple melts into the warm red/orange sky, the matching purple clouds and shadows in the foreground, and how the dimming sunlight glows red on Wartortle's deep blues!
I love how the yellow and orange of the sky illuminate the lapping waves, I can just feel the gentle motion of the sea at dusk. The aqua color of the ocean matches Wartortle's ears and tail and sets off the red-orange sand, I just love how the colors are here!
Wartortle looks so round and squishy, I love its happiness as it goes frolicking through the shallows, chasing the bubbles caught in the setting sun! The shine and deep shadow on its shell give it an almost jewel texture like real tortoise shell; I love the silhouetted splash Wartortle leaves as it goes running across the shore. It's so full of energy and delight at the end of a gorgeous day! The colors in these are SO vivid and harmonized and the style is so cute and bursting with energy and joy. I just LOVE it (also Squirtle is my starter)
#pokemon#pokemon tcg#long post#i have deep affection for bulbasaur as well though and i also love the bulbasaur/ivysaur cards in this set#i SO wish we'd gotten art of the final evolutions in the same style as the pre-evos' standard cards!!#(yes i do love the full art ones but i also love the illustrations on the standard cards!)#from the way the settings in these two were going; i would have imagined blastoise to be set at night (??)#i LOVE pokemon cards. i can't keep up with every set but i started collecting again now and then a few years ago#and 151 has really got me wanting the full set the way i haven't since childhood. SO many beautiful illustrations (but there always are)#it's like having little pieces of art of my favorite characters and it's only.. slightly... less expensive than actually commissioning ....#i KNOW it's less expensive to buy the individuals online but it's so much less fun#part of the fun is having YOUR own pokemon journey ((going to the store)) and seeing what YOU encounter ((when you open the pack))#i do buy them online sometimes but i usually dont form as strong associations with them as when i open a pack in a certain setting or place#i tend to try to save them to open right before a significant event like starting something new or a holiday. so that i form associations#and it's like 'oh that's the galarian obstagoon from when my mom came home for christmas'#and 'that's the snorlax who reassured me when i was hurt'#i don't buy them too often so i've got to make it count#anyway i know i should wait for the prices on this one to come down because it's absolutely ridiculous#i didn't buy anything at release because i was like $6 for one booster pack??? but i couldn't take just sitting and watching them sell out#i really like the poster because i can look at so many beautiful pictures all together#i could say stuff like this about literally every pokemon illustration (if i had time to write it out) and sometimes i've wanted to#i just chose these two because these are a couple of my original favorite pokemon and i just couldn't keep it to myself. i LOVE these
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(╥﹏╥)
#We've had our yearly secret santa gifts exchange at my dorm and I've been gifted the first volume of Beast 😭😭😭😭😭#I'm crying forever. This december marks three years since I've watched the first b/sd episode#and yet this is the first time I actually own a b/sd manga volume. Like I own it and I can read it whenever I want!!! How cool is that!!!!!#Like there's so many Akutagawa images in it!!!! It's insane!!!!!!!! AND IT'S BEAST AT THAT#I'm deeply moved because I never spoke about it to virtually anyone here (at my dorm)?#Like I suppose a bunch of people vaguely know I like anime but only a couple of close friends know I like. Like-like reading manga lol.#And the person who gifted it DEFINITELY didn't know I like anime in general much less b/sd specifically much less Beast in particular!!!!!#I'm 100% sure (they just arrived this year and we hadn't even had that much occasions to talk to each other).#Which means they went through the trouble of gathering intel from my close friends about what I like and actually follow through‚#seek for the specific manga in a comic store etc... It's such a nice gesture I'm so heartwarmed.#And of course I'm glad for every gift I've received in the last years (genuinely)‚ but the fact that this was the most *specific* to what–#I like. It makes it so special! They were so kind.#There must be one (1) person in this whole 60 people dorm who knows I like Beast–#(that would be the girl who introduced b/sd to me in the first place) and the fact that they asked them for it...#I feel both very grateful and lucky lol#When I unwrapped it!!! Like I thought it was just a random book which would have been nice but like!!!!!#When I actually saw through the thin paper the cover!!!! The scream I screamed in my head#Anyways!!!! I own a b/sd manga now!!!!! I've only got time to go through the first chapter so far but it's suchhhh an experience.#It's like reading it for the first time again 😭😭😭 Half because the translation is so much different than the English one lol.#And I basically know the English version by heart. Half because I never saw this kind of high quality!!!!! It's!!!!! Insane!!!!! Like!!!!!!#I'm crying 😭😭😭 The drawings are so sharp and crisp (in the good way). The lines are so clean there's no disturbance at all#I literally never saw anything so good in my life I'm crying a little. I'm so so glad they blessed me with Beast specifically#The takebon edition is pretty cheap (it's just planet manga so there's no color illustrations or dust cover or anything unfortunatelly.#But to make up for it the volumes are significantly cheaper then let's say J-Pop)#There's also some unique typesetting choices? The text from the book-like boxes is in lowercase which is interesting!#Initially I thought I wouldn't have liked the translation (opening it randomly there was Akutagawa saying “crepa!” (“die!”) to Dazai in ch1#Which was kinda jarring since it's very low register and everyone knows Akutagawa has very complex speech patterns.)#But actually reading it I'm really enjoying the translation so far!!!!#There's so many choices that made me grasp details I actually missed all the times I've read the English translation.#That is to say! Very excited to read it!!!! Will probably make a review / translation commentary if I can find the time!!!!!
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˙ . ꒷ 🍰 . 𖦹˙—
#im currently at my sister's place. she wanted me to take care of our dog while she and my mom goes home to sort through their stuff#i have a very unpleasant headache after waking up early after no sleep. walking to the psychiatric for an appt. then having minor issues to#get here bc the train tracks were... smth?? and the train was late and idk. it ended up being painless to get here#then i went to buy groceries and then took the bus here. since i've been here once it is easier for me to navigate skskks#now im here and im happy to be with my dog :3 i havent seen him for an entire month :(((((#but it feels weird to be all alone.... i dont like it actually :// i mean if i didnt have my dog here it would be AWFUL#i dreaded a bit to take my dog outside bc she lives on the third floor and he cant walk down the narrow stairs. so i have touse the elevator#but that went fine!! its still not as easy as just opening the door and then go straight outside tho T-T!!!!#idk. i realize that im just.. a person who dont like change. i have lived in the same place my ENTIRE life. i havent moved once.#and even if it isnt as nice anymore bc um literally thousands of ppl have moved in the past couple of years... it isnt as calm at all anymor#BUT. i fkn love the environment and scenery. there are so many beautiful and pleasant places to walk. and sit. i just love and need to walk#i know every road and walkaway there.. i know which trails are calmer and nicer etc. we have parks and forests and all that#here is like just housing areas. like apartments and houses and stores and schools. and roads. roads everywhere... cant find a path without#a road next to it ://// it isnt calm at all bc there are always cars :( and um idk how im supposed to go for walks when there arent anywhere#to go. so yeah what im saying is that even if the place i live has gotten worse.. i still feel. like thats my home.#idk how to live anywhere else. and to think this might be the year i HAVE to move. i .. dont know how to adapt and settle into another place#i LOVE where i live. i love how its built and the neighborhoods and everything. i feel so so attached to that place. i know this is life etc#but since i have lived there my entire life and just now being away from it in a place that has 10% of what my home has im like.#idk it feels really bad and im just not into life at all rn. i wanna live in a place i like and just rot into it. never leave.#i dont like change... im realllyyyy homesick rn T-T esp being alone without my family sucksssss i hate it
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so I work two jobs, at an auto parts store and a cafe and I've noticed that people at the parts place think im a dude and the cafe customers assume im a girl its so interesting to see
#i had someone at the car place refer to me saying 'he- she- uhh sorry idk what to call you'#im pretty sure i just said 'pick one' which must have confused her so bad 💀#i appreciate you pronouns lady#also something interesting im seeing is that people respect me more at the parts store when they think im a guy#also its fun when people call me buddy hehe idk if thats just an appalachia thing but its like#what older people say to younger people#idk how old i look to people who think im a guy lmao but i guess they think im a teenager#i do have teenager voice syndrome right now unfortunately 💀#omg its so funny (uh and a little scary) when customers refer to me as 'he' to my coworkers and theyre confused 😅#theyre all rural conservatives so im a little spooked at whats gonna happen when i come back to work after being away for 3 months#cause hopefully ill be more clearly masculine#they havent asked me about it and im not telling them lmao#im the only 'girl' there right now 💀 oops#actually customers call me 'the female' 🙃 LOL#i stay silly tho#i look forward to every tuesday bc thats when i give myself my T shot :)#i have to go get bloodwork done soon oh no#for my hormone levels#if u read this far ily its nice to know youre interested in my rambling#i reduced my dose of anxiety/depression/general mood stabilizer med and i regret it so hard rn ive been SO anxious#pray for me#ok life story over bye#have a nice day#drink some water#mine
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#i???????? think???????????? i got??????????????? the job????????????????????#FVGHJKHBJ i didnt even expect a manager to be there like i was just stopping by this place to get an email address since their website#isnt up yet and she was like!!!! lets step outside and talk right now actually!!!!!!!!#AND IT WENT WELL???????????????????#i originally only wanted part time but shes like hey i have full time for $15/hour plus commission. and i was like. well okay!!!!!!!!!#so im???? going in tomorrow for training????? FGHJKJHJ its all paid but its mostly just for me to see the store/meet everyone/see how i do#but im so happy actually like i love this place. high end brazilian store known for its ecoconsciousness which is!!!! fucking awesome!!!!!!#i will be the only brazilian actually working there so im the token portuguese speaker but kkjsdefd thats fine. bitch we celebrating!!!!!!#personal
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I dunno what it says about me but when i saw the saw eating i really thought it was eating puto?!? like egg did not cross my mind.
it means its time to bust out the steamer and lil medicine cups my friend we gotta get cooking .....
#snap chats#thats a thing everyone does right. my mom would collect medicine caps-#yk when she actually bought medicine. actually that was prob my dad he's always been hyper concerned bout our health but anyway-#and she'd store them and when i wanted to make puto she was like 'yeah just fill the caps with the batter'#i fear that does work ... theyre just the right size imo .... you could always use muffin trays tho- i think thats what people usually use.#actually i have no idea where all those medicine cup caps went. brb checking the pantry#ok found them they were right next to the mini bamboo steamer i bought last year#and incidentally the cups are the perfect size for it .... very good to know ... hehe ..#i actually have no idea why she began collecting them in the first place she's never made puto#idk. i think hoarding/collecting things we Debatably need is just in our genes ... thanks grandma. ... anyway#ok daily mom/grandma shade over bye bye
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How would I go about explaining my posts on here to my dad? Do I openly admit that i've pretty much used this account like it's a diary, where I can gain validation for my ideas and empathy for my stress? Because I think that's sort of how I treat social media (or well, i still hate social media as a concept. But it's how I treat my stuff on here). It's like a diary with an audience, I guess. As a kid, I always wanted to be able to share my ideas (mostly because i knew i didn't have the writing skills to do anything beyond plot them). And I always have had a problem where I only ever shared my stressors to my dad and my therapist. And I'm betting that was unhealthy (although not as unhealthy as bottling it up). So now I have a third place to share my troubles, and I think it (along with my 7-8 sessions of the online social skills class), have actually led to me becoming slightly more social. Not much more. But more than I was when I was 14 or 15, at least.
That was all a long, long tangent. Really, what I was trying to get at here is: How do I explain my 15,000+ posts on here to my dad? And how do I do it without either screwing up my phrasing, or working myself into a nervous breakdown about it all? That's somewhat hyperbolic language, but I think you get my point.
#i really do just use this place to store my vents and my ideas#and my thoughts#it almost is like a diary#which is funny#because i never had one of those#but still#how do i tell my dad about all of this someday?#thinking#overthinking#my thoughts#asd#autism#neurodivergent#autistic#adhd#actually autistic#audhd#vent#vents#rambling#ramblings#rambles#my tumblr account#tumblr
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slowly. but surely. cleaning out. my fucking room.
#theres just. a lot of stuff 😭😭😭😭😭#part of it is simply furniture and organising (i lost a bookshelf in the move and im realising#that if i still had it/one then a lot of stuff wouldnt be on the ground)#but. a not insignificant part i simply need to get rid of#if it were easy as throwing it away thats one thing...#but like. eg. i have so so much fabric. i cant throw that shit out but what do i do with it??? 😭😭😭😭#and so so much yarn...#which im already trying to use up but all thats done is having me leave half done projects lying around💀#kind of accepted i probably wont be making paper again so getting rid of a lot of paper scraps#might repurpose the box id been using to store the papermaking stuff...#there is just a LOT#but even cleaning/tidying small parts is good... oughhhh#you might wonder. what finally brought u to actually starting to clean.#the answer is. have been killing roaches#so one. too many fucking places for them to hide#two. my dad was planning on fumigating and its probably better to have a room thats easier to move things around#also re things like fabric like i KNOW theres options eg donating. selling. fabric swap or whatever#but thats EFFORT to actually set up 💀#anyways discovering brand new places i didnt know existed on fb marketplace
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just a few little bits from the past few days
#both the word count screenshots are from the same day - just different sections of the text. so that was like 4000 words in#one DAY.. huzzah!! (< making up for the fact that I did 0 words the 3 days before that lol.. so its not actually an accomplishment ghjjh)#In renpy I think you can have multiple separate texty cody whatever documents and still jump between them so long as they;re#labeled properly. Rather than like... having one extremely long 60.000 line file where in some places youre in a menu within a menu#within a menu within a menu within a menu within a menu within a menu jhbhj#But that was the way I started doing it lke 5 years ago when I actually made the base of everything so I feel like it'd be too much#work to change it all that dramatically now. But that means I cant just get the word count for the whole document I just have#to jump around to the few sections I worked on and highlight them to get the word count for only that portion#.. the one tiny fraction of the whole monster text wall. Though it is of course spaced out and organized into#clearly labeled sections within that because otherwise I have trouble discerning text on a screen. still.#Resuming a project that's been basically abandoned for 4-5 ish years is just always finding weird stuff like.. why did I do this that way..#why did I write that... why did I organize that in this manner... what the hell am I referencing in this note... etc. lol#Anyway... also......................cat with plum on his head.#everyone point and laugh at mr. plum head boy..!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:3c#I've been obsessed with Calico Critters' social media presence from afar (like how I mentioned one of my possible dream jobs would#be to be the person that sets the scenes and arranges all the toy animals at a tiny little table and etc. to take the type of pictures they#post on their facebook page and stuff) and I see all their photos of them posing the rabbits as if they're in a swimming pool#or on a nature hike or etc. etc. BUT I have never really seen them in person. Recently I was at a store (in a KN95 mask and not staying#very long still of course. wastewater covid levels are still high where I live (and most of the US truly)) and it just crossed my mind#to actually go to the toy section and see if I could find any....wow.... Its like meeting a celebrity.. the Latte Cats....#Of course I didnt buy them because they're like... very expensive?? like $25 - $40 just for one little pack of a few critters like#what is shown. but.... I still got to see them................ my beloved.. I want their outfits... T o T#Oh and then lastly just a pot of purple clover looking things. I just think theyre neat lol#photo diary
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Alice stop thinking about how much better DS9 would be as an immersive hotel you don't have TIME to make a made-up hotel from scratch
#its soooooooooooo easy is the thing. people in star trek actually use data pads#and if something is wrong you could have engineers walking around that you could ask for help from in character#like 'excuse me I'm a starfleet engineer and we got reports of malfunctioning data pads! have you experienced any malfunction of late?'#so easy...#and it could be immersive you could use the app to trade your self-sealing stem bolts#you could have an outdoor pool area and a gym as 'holodeck programs'#all the stores would be functioning and you have plenty of already established places for story moments#omg........ karaoke in vic fontaine's club............#you could even have a panic attack in the jefferies tube! immersive!
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#qq posts#twitter things#with how scarce gunpla is over here i would have been Tempted for sure#theres no gwitch kits anymore either so like... ough#and the only place with actual hobby stores and not funko stores are hours away which is... pain
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you guys wanna hear something upsetting ?
i was like, five seconds away from a genuine menty b today - 0/10, negative one star, would not recommend kinda vibes. so i just. closed my laptop, took my dogs out into the backyard, and laid on my back in the sun for five minutes. and i feel so much better.
holy shit "touch grass" is LITERAL, who was gatekeeping this ???
#like i know we use it as an insult to chronically online folks but#MAYBE IT'S ACTUALLY FROM A PLACE OF LOVE BC IT WORKS ???#anyways if you can see the sun and you haven't felt it on your skin? lather up some SPF grab your emotional support water bottle and go#today's the first day under 100 in like two weeks it felt SO NICE to be out there again wow wow wow#º ✧ 。 i’m still out but i’ll grab some stuff at the store ooc shit
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