Tumgik
#like I refuse to ask for help it’s a fucking problem
americannoteven · 6 months
Text
Hi fun fact: don’t try to be tough and move fully loaded tool boxes with just a tiny ramp all by yourself because you will lose one and you will have it fall on you (and watch as your expensive sockets all roll down the parking lot in various directions)
1 note · View note
sga-owns-my-soul · 4 months
Text
wow made it three whole months at the new job before things went to absolute shit and i want to quit
12 notes · View notes
gotta-bail-my-quails · 4 months
Text
i'm a bit too tired to put together an appropriately coherent argument right now, but i feel the need to speak on the 'vote blue no matter who' thing because it keeps coming up on my dash and i'm fucking tired of it.
stop trying to beg a system to get better when that system was designed to hold power over you, when it benefits from staying as is, when it wants to keep you down and on a leash. You are voting for the fucking leash man, not the person holding it. You know why negotiations for a ceasefire have been falling flat? Because Israel never cared about morals--there's no use in begging the colonial entity to have some conscience because we wouldn't fucking be here right now if they could be talked out of genocide. If there are train tracks that both go through hospitals, you don't fucking wonder which hospital has less people in it, you wonder who the fuck designed the damn tracks to go through a hospital! And then you fucking redesign them so that shit doesn't happen! You don't hire the same guy who built the tracks to do it again either because who knows if he's gonna just build them through more hospitals--you rip those rails up yourself, got it?
2 notes · View notes
ereborne · 6 months
Text
Song of the Day: March 15
“Over Yet" by Hayley Williams
#song of the day#very exciting to have one of my brothers tell me entirely unprompted that he's enjoying the current playlist#a very big win#I spent most of my work day today doing what I've been thinking of as 'evil rubber-ducking'#where the IT guys throw me the especially Difficult faculty members--the ones who can't be helped because they won't listen--#and I trick them into actually talking me through what they're doing so we can find the problem and fix it#(eternally amazed by people who request help and then refuse it. you called me bud. you submitted a service request ticket on purpose.#oh you can't do your job without connecting to the vpn? that's great we can't fix it until you tell us what's fucking stopping you)#mostly this 'tricking' takes the form of me being a sweet young butter-wouldn't-melt Southern girl in over my head with mean IT guys#bless them (derogatory) these folks who won't let IT even attempt to start working through the 'have you tried' scripts#because they know they're getting something wrong but are too angry-embarrassed to admit they don't know what#are still delighted to mansplain the idea of a remote connection to me#--that's not fair. I shouldn't mischaracterize them it's mostly not mansplaining.#the two today were yankee-splaining me. city-splaining maybe.#what would a hick like me (y'all is one person. all y'all or some'a y'all for multiple people) possibly know about enterprise networks--#anyway they were using the wrong login credentials and were so sure of themselves they'd never even tried the other set just to see#bless. their. hearts.#(IT owes me so many little favors like this now. the latest database tweak I asked for got done live while I described it to them)#anyway anyway! love the chorus on this song#'to get out of your head yes break a sweat / baby tell yourself it ain't over yet'#makes me move my head every time
6 notes · View notes
beautifel · 1 year
Text
i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am
#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately#like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad#i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic#and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me#the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic#let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything#like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing#i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard#the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know#with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things#n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case#it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has.#the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others#this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate#its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences#its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control#ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship#we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people#so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there#ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere
7 notes · View notes
Text
I can't fucking believe that I procrastinated my gender for like. A good three years.
#Like in fairness I was in an incredibly abusive environment already#Questioning my gender was the last fuckin thing I needed so I was just like “that's a problem for later”#Butttttttttt... Now I've got no idea what I'm doing#Like I've cut my hair??? I like looking like a boy????#But I also know that a few months ago I was straight up wearing floor length skirts on the daily and braiding my hair with flowers??????#and my definition of “boy” and “man” is so inherently fucked up bc of the abuse that I'm unwilling to actually use those words???#And I chose the name I use for a reason as a promise (long story) but it's really feminine????#And it'd be nice if people would be ok with using two different names for me if it turns out I am genderfluid but?????#They almost certainly won't??????#Like most of them refuse to use my chosen name anyway and I'm just. To polite to correct them.#no I'm not canadien I'm british#Anyway help?#Bc I realised all this the other day LITERALLY AN HOUR before I went on stage and almost had a complete breakdown??????#good news is there's this trans boy in my performing arts group and he was so nice and supportive that I didn't cry in the end#much anyway but still?????? I procrastinated my fucking gender????????? And now I'm fuckin confused???????#Also I can now cosplay one of my OCs#So that's cool#Remember the name Becky Roberts guys#Like if I am trans for genderfluid or whatever it'll help next year with The Plan (which I may elaborate on if asked)#but also???? My parents still refuse to accept that I'm a lesbian if I tell them “yo I periodically become a boy”#They'll probably yell at me at BEST#“that's not a real thing!!!” NEITHER IS YOUR FAÇADE OF A HAPPY FAMILY BUT YOU BELIEVE IN THAT#*ahem* anyway yeah I'm struggling if anyone has any advice pls help#Oh and I've only told like one person I've cut my hair and I'm meeting up with a load of friends on Sunday#Bwhahahhahahahhah#help me#tw abuse mention#queer community
10 notes · View notes
buckets-of-dirt · 2 years
Text
What is the point of a very specialized "watch" that costs the same amount as an actual smart watch (which have apps that theoretically do the same thing) but has fewer functions and isn't even very good at the one thing it's supposed to do?
4 notes · View notes
Text
it is ok to ask for help. people are not going to hate me for asking for help
#i just. hm.#i know me and the other dude are in different situations#where we've been telling him to get therapy for months#and he just. doesn't#and then he puts all his problems on us and complains about it#and im trying. im trying so so so fucking hard#and i know she sees me trying and knows i want to Get OUT and not wallow in my misery#and i will get out. im incredibly stubborn#but also the thing about being friends with people and then turning on them#is that u will always wonder when people are gonna do that to u#but also he SUCKS and i shouldn't compare us#like multiple people have told me to not compare myself to him because we're very different people#im Useful and i Contribute to friendships. it's Ok for me to ask for help sometimes#but also she helps me SO much#but also she Offered for both the swimming and cleaning#and if she minds i think she'd tell me??#the thing that bothers me about this dynamic is that we will spend literal hours yelling at each other and arguing at work#(because she's Wrong about basic thermodynamics and refuses to fucking admit it).#like to the point where people used to come up to me afterwards and ask if i was good and we'd have to be like 'no we don't hate each other'#'this is just how we talk'#and that's fine that's familiar and comfortable and i don't mind it at all#and when i actually need help (outside of work) she doesn't make fun of me At All and is super super encouraging even when i suck ass#yes im complaining about someone being nice to me.#i just don't want her to get tired of me#and if she's seeing me every single day of the week i feel like she'll get tired of me#cause im So much#but also she's a lot! and i don't mind so#i should just communicate. i should just be like 'hi remember that bitch ass boy he really fucked me up in terms of how i view hanging out'#'and im feeling insecure'#she constantly tells me to communicate
1 note · View note
tigercomplex · 2 years
Text
nobody talks about the trans experience of becoming irrationally angry at anyone who so much as looks at you (not a moral crime) and feeling extremely violent
1 note · View note
pa-pa-plasma · 4 days
Text
Tumblr media
so this post is definitely about me lol & i just wanna say that
me only having mental illness is a really big assumption
the experiences i talked about were my own & some friends i'd had while going to an alternate school, they weren't secondhand or made up
idk what is wrong with this person but they are super fucking ableist, & going through their blog, it's clear they love to accuse everyone of faking being disabled or needing accommodation for some reason & are obsessed with interacting in bad faith.
just gonna assume they're constantly having a really bad day every day but man if you're gonna make multiple blogs dedicated to speaking about disabled issues, maybe don't alienate a majority of the community & accuse them of not being "disabled enough" for you to fucking listen to them
#i think when your advocating of one specific group turns into putting down everyone else .you've failed#if you want to be a voice for a community you have to be able to speak coherently about a subject without getting aggressive#& picking fights with anyone who even breathes in your direction#which this person seems to love to do btw holy shit they are super fucked#anyways was just reminded of this dipshit. this screenshot & some other shit they said (like accusing me of thinking disabled ppl are gross#was in response to me saying addiction is a disability & they flipped the fuck out about that#my point was that you can't cater to every single disability all at once. there is going to be some conflict & you have to problem solve#like imagine a person who's super cold & another who's super hot#the person who's cold can keep putting on more layers but the person who's hot can't. so the cold person is gonna have to compromise#& turn the heat down & just put on a jacket or something#OP said that taking medication in public should be normalized & (while that is hyperspecific region-wise) that is true#but also you need to work with other disabled people (like addicts) when making things accessible#because an accessibility option might be great for one person & horrible for another#because when i was at that alt school there were a bunch of kids who were recovering addicts or parents were#& so i was asked to take my medication away from them & i did. because i'm not a fucking asshole#it would be cool if you could take your meds whenever wherever but that just isn't realistic#if you can help someone with trauma or an addiction without negatively impacting yourself then why not#like why would you force someone else to suffer just because you're personally angry about an imaginary slight#if you can't leave or leaving would fuck things up then let them know you take your meds at that time so they can leave beforehand#or if it's an emergency then just fucking take the meds & the other guy can decide what to do with themself#like there is a nuance here that the OP refuses to acknowledge because they don't actually care about disabled people#they only care about themself#like cool advocating. still ableism#anyways if you got this far for blocking reasons the user is disbabeled
0 notes
polyamwitchymom · 7 days
Text
Going from "everything is fine, I just have anxiety" to "oh god my only mode of transportation decided to overheat and give up suddenly" to "we have 30 days to get out of the place we've been staying at and we haven't been told why and there was no prelude to this at all" in just 3 days, and just under 2 months after my son was born.....
Very jaring.
I haven't vented many other places except my private journal because these are the kind of people to try and label me as "playing the victim" when I'm just pointing out that the situation fucking sucks. Though, I don't see myself as a victim. No one's the villain, victim, or hero, we aren't protagonists, this isn't a novel... The situation just sucks and I morally disagree with how my former friends chose to do what they did. I have no doubt that something happened or was building up, but from the beginning I asked them to talk to me if something was wrong. They chose not to, and went about giving us the 30 day notice in a way that really let us know we aren't welcome here and all attempts at trying to figure out why have been dodged.
So yeah... There are a lot of layers to this, but the bottom line is I'm in a pickle and have very limited options, and I've lost what I thought were some very close friends.
1 note · View note
hereticsgravesite · 3 months
Text
.
#ah. i think i get it#the clones and brotherhood and all that. friendship and loyalty#i have friends who reach out and ask if im good or tell me they're here if i need but also im afraid#im bad at feelings. bad at talking. bad at needing. i need a lot and feel a lot but i hate expressing it#the clones are the perfect friend/family depiction. they experience a lot of tragedy but they come out stronger as a unit#they'll do kind things for one another and protect one another even if someone refuses#i think im frustrated at myself for making myself hard to access for others#ppl want to do that for me and be that way for me but i cannot.#whether its the parts of my brain or just who i am idk but i just. cant. i cant#and i need and im lonely but im also so adamantly against needing and being helped#but im looking at echo and he's looking at me and we both know i fixated on him bc of it#hes angry and grumpy and so hurt and even when he turns the 99 away they still push back and help#this isnt a fantasy world where i can be difficult andppl will still try and help. im the obstacle to my own problems solution#i want a fake sort of brotherhood and comradery i will never get#it doesn't matter if we share experiences of trauma or situations. i feel like im so far away from everyone#this is why i have fox. he gets it. echo gets it. we're so far away from anyone.#fuck this shit sucks.#this is why i feel like i have no friends or family. im being such a fucking brat#i want relationships that feel like in the end everyone collectively agreed it was worth fighting for#that im worth fighting for
0 notes
magicaltimelady44 · 5 months
Text
Maybe one day customers calling a customer service phone line will understand the mind-blowing concept that the CSA who answered the phone is saying words that have meaning for a reason in order to help, and not to hear themselves speak
1 note · View note
katya-goncharov · 5 months
Text
is eduroam wifi always completely fucking impossible to get into on your phone or is it just me specifically it hates...?
1 note · View note
lovelybucky1 · 1 month
Text
Ain’t as Good as I Once Was
warnings: old man!logan x AFAB!reader, riding, bratting, dom/sub dynamics, daddy kink, age gap, punishment, degradation, 18+ minors dni, divider from @strangergraphics
Tumblr media
“C’mon, girlie, if you want it, you’re gonna have to take it yourself,” Logan’s gruff voice says from below you.
You’re sitting on his lap, trying desperately to fuck yourself on his cock as he sigs back and watches you. Despite your begging, Logan refuses to do the work for you.
“I’m too old for this shit. If you’re that fuckin’ horny, you can take care of it yourself,” he told you smugly.
You sank down on his cock and have been trying to bounce on it, but the strain on your thighs is too much to reach a satisfying pace.
“Please, Daddy, can’t you just fuck me?” you whine pathetically. Logan smirks a bit and chuckles through his nose.
“I ain’t as good as I once was, dollface. I doubt my old bones can fuck you the way you want me to,” he says, not seeming apologetic in the slightest.
You know he’s full of shit. He may be old and gray, but his healing factor keeps him in peak condition. He’d be able to fuck you just fine, he’s just a crotchety old man who wants to see you suffer for his entertainment.
He places a large hand on your hip and starts gently guiding you, urging you to rock back and forth. You follow his movements and while it’s better than what you were attempting, it’s still not what you want.
“You’re a spoiled fuckin’ princess, that’s the problem. So used to Daddy takin’ care of ya, you forgot how to ride, is that it?” Shamelessly you bite your lip and nod.
You wouldn’t call yourself spoiled. Well cared for is a better term. Logan never lets his girl go to bed unsatisfied, and now he’s suffering from the consequences of his actions.
“C’mon, flip me over and fuck me,” you say.
Logan raises an eyebrow at you.
“Who do you think you are, givin’ orders? If I want you to ride my cock, then that’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna fuck that pretty pussy with it until she’s had her fill.”
Logan lets go of your hip but you keep up with the same pace he set. With his hand now freed, he reaches over to the nightstand to grab his cigar and lighter. He lights up and smokes it as if he were at the bar, not in bed, deep inside his girl.
He looks up at you, bored, as smoke pours out of his mouth. You’ve been riding the edge of just enough for the past fifteen minutes and you’re getting increasingly frustrated with Logan’s lack of help. You briefly consider being more of a brat in hopes of egging him on enough to punish you with a hard fuck, but with the kind of mood he’s in, it’s likely that the punishment would be stopping entirely.
You let your head hang down as you brace yourself with your hands on his chest. The solid muscle covered in gray hair is hot, unnaturally so, under your touch and you desperately want to feel that heat on your back while he fucks you from behind.
“Daddy,” you plead quietly.
“What’s the matter, dollface?” he asks, playing dumb like the tease he is.
“I can’t do it.”
Logan smirks around his cigar like you just said the magic words he’s been waiting to hear this whole time.
“What’re you saying?”
You pout down at him. “I can’t make myself cum. I need you to do it for me”
Logan, surprisingly, grins at you. “Bet you regret calling me an old man now, huh?”
You furrow your brows in confusion, but you quickly realize what he’s talking about. Before this all started, you pounced on his lap and asked him to fuck you. He told you he was busy reading his book, and in your usual bratty fashion, you replied, “What, you can’t get it up, old man?”
“I didn’t mean it, Daddy,” you whine. “I swear, I was just teasing you.”
Logan hums but makes no effort to move. “Guess you better start behaving if you want something from me.”
“I promise I’ll be good. I won’t talk back anymore,” you attempt to bargain.
You both know that’s about as empty of a promise as you could give, but Logan doesn’t seem to care. He prefers when you’re trouble anyway; it’s the game you play. He’s the grumpy and mean and you’re the spoiled, demanding princess.
Logan stubs his cigar out in the ashtray on the nightstand and places both hands on your hips. He lifts you off of him with ease, something that never fails to amaze you, and sets you on the bed next to him.
He moves so he’s kneeling between your legs and holding them up around his waist, his cock lined up at your entrance.
“Spoiled fuckin’ rotten, you are,” he mutters as he pushes inside.
Logan always makes sure his girl goes to bed satisfied, no matter how much of a brat she is.
3K notes · View notes
technicolorxsn · 11 months
Text
why are bandlab drums stuck in 4/4 I'm gonna fucking kms
1 note · View note