#like I get it I GET THE POINT LETS MOVE ON I DONT NEED TO SEE IT 50 MORE TIMES
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hi lovely
i was contemplating another one too i hope this doesn’t stress you out !! (please take your time, im quite a patient person) also it’s 3am rn i woke up in the middle of the night so yay
i dont know if it would work but one where it’s a secret relationship but randomly they (reader n spencer) just say eff it and go FULL pda (you can decide whether it’s like holding hands, making out or anything in between !!) in the bullpen / on the jet and everyone else just goes CRAZY
if it doesn’t work just ignore. i’ll get better ideas soon TRUST
yours truly
- 🐚
indifferent — spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: mention of being tired from a case, a/n: HIII 🐚 sorry if this took so long i'm not even gonna lie when i tell you i rewrote this like 6 times , i gave it my best - i still hope you like this <3333
The jet hummed softly beneath you as you sank into your seat, exhaustion clinging to you. The case had drained you—physically, mentally and emotionally. You sighed, letting your body melt into the plush leather, barely holding yourself upright.
“I’m so tired,” you mumbled, eyes already half-lidded as you shifted in search of a comfortable position.
Just as your eyes fluttered shut, you heard the familiar sound of movement nearby. You cracked one eye open to see Spencer standing over you, carefully stowing your go-bag into the overhead compartment.
“It’s a long flight. You should sleep,” he said softly, settling beside you.
You hummed in response, too tired to argue. You felt the warmth of him beside you before you even opened your eyes again. His hand found your thigh without hesitation, his thumb beginning to trace slow, soothing circles through the fabric of your pants.
It was muscle memory at this point, something he did without thinking—whether you were curled up on the couch at home, sitting together in a car, or now, here, on the jet.
You sighed, leaning your head back against the seat, letting your body sink further into the soft leather. The jet was quiet, just the two of you. You glanced at Spencer, who mirrored your movement, his head resting against the seat, his warm brown eyes searching yours with a softness that made your heart flutter.
Neither of you spoke for a moment. The silence was comfortable.
With a sleepy smile, you mumbled, “Do you want to come over tonight?”
Spencer’s lips quirked up at the corners, a faint smile tugging at his tired features. Without hesitation, he nodded. That was all the confirmation you needed, and a warmth spread through your chest.
He reached up, his fingers barely brushing against your cheek as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. The soft touch sent a shiver through you, and you leaned into it, resting your head on his shoulder.
The quiet was interrupted by the sound of footsteps—the rest of the team making their way onto the jet. But Spencer didn’t move his hand from your thigh; his fingers continued to trace gentle patterns through the fabric. You turned to look at him in surprise, but he just smiled back at you, an expression so warm it made your heart skip a beat.
The others plopped into their seats in front of you, with Derek and Emily settling into the row just across from you.
“I’m so exhausted,” Emily sighed dramatically, rubbing her temples as she stared at the two of you. Her eyes lingered for a moment longer than necessary, clearly surprised by your closeness, the way you were cuddled together so easily. Derek raised an eyebrow, a knowing grin tugging at his lips.
Even Hotch and Rossi, making their way toward their seats at the back, glanced up quickly, their eyes meeting briefly before they turned away. But no one said anything.
Half an hour passed, and you still hadn’t managed to fall asleep. You sighed loudly, letting your head slump slightly against Spencer’s shoulder in frustration. It felt like your body wanted to rest, but your mind just wouldn’t quiet down.
Spencer noticed the shift in your mood. He looked down at you, brow furrowing slightly.
“Can’t fall asleep?” he asked, his voice soft, laced with concern.
You mumbled a tired “No...” and sighed again.
Spencer was already processing this, his brain working overtime, as it often did. His gaze drifted away for a moment and then, just like that, he launched into his usual ramble.
“You know, water is really effective for helping people fall asleep,” he began, tilting his head slightly. “It’s the hydration, really. It helps regulate your body’s temperature and keeps your nervous system functioning properly, which is essential for sleep. The brain needs hydration to produce melatonin. Oh, and the temperature of the water matters, too! Too cold or too hot, and it’ll have the opposite effect. Ideally, you want it lukewarm.”
You couldn’t help but smile, even in your tired state. You always loved how he would share his knowledge, no matter how random the topic.
He didn’t seem to notice how you were still half-dazed, his voice continuing as he leaned in slightly.
“And if you drink it right before bed, it helps slow down the body’s metabolism, which prepares you for sleep.”
"I didn't know that." You smiled, leaning into his shoulder again, your hand finding his.
“You want some water?” Spencer asked, his voice softer now.
You nodded sleepily. “Yeah... that sounds nice.”
Emily crossed her arms, her gaze flicking toward the direction Spencer had walked off in before settling back on you with a knowing smirk.
“Oh, come on,” she scoffed, tilting her head. “We’re not that oblivious.”
You blinked innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Derek, who had been staring out the window with his headphones on just moments ago, now turned his full attention to you, an amused grin spreading across his face. He pulled his headphones down around his neck and glanced between you and Emily.
“So, let me get this straight,” Derek said, leaning forward slightly. “You expect us to believe that you and Pretty Boy over there just casually cuddle up on the jet like that?” He raised an eyebrow. “And that little thigh-touching thing? That’s just friendly behavior?”
Your face warmed, but you did your best to keep your expression neutral. “We were tired,” you reasoned.
Emily snorted. “Right. And I suppose if I go back there and ask Spencer, he’ll say the exact same thing?”
Your silence was enough of an answer.
Derek let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Man, I gotta say, I’m actually impressed. I didn’t think Reid of all people could pull off a secret relationship for this long.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips. Before you could respond, Spencer returned, holding a bottle of water in one hand and—predictably—a cup of coffee in the other. He slid back into his seat beside you, handing you the water with a small smile.
“Here, lukewarm. It’s the best temperature for—”
“Melatonin production, hydration, metabolism... I was listening, Doctor Reid. Thank you.” You shrugged with a wink, fully aware of how much he loved to share his knowledge.
Spencer’s eyes brightened as you took the bottle from him and sipped it. He always worried people weren’t paying attention, and it seemed like you’d just passed his test.
With a soft smile, he leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to your temple, his lips lingering for just a moment too long before he reluctantly pulled away.
He turned back to face the rest of the team, his posture stiffening slightly as his gaze met Derek’s raised eyebrow and Emily’s wide, disbelieving eyes.
You could feel Spencer tense up beside you, and you couldn’t help but grin, leaning slightly against his shoulder as you watched the reactions unfold.
Derek chuckled, his disbelief evident. “Wow... Since when are you two...?” He trailed off, clearly caught off guard.
You tilted your head slightly, an innocent smile playing at the corners of your lips. The whole team had always been close, but no one had ever suspected that you and Spencer had been quietly keeping a secret relationship. Of course, that secret wasn’t exactly a secret anymore.
You could feel the gaze of Rossi and Hotch from across the aisle, both men just as silent but sizing up the situation. You almost swore you saw Rossi’s lips twitching in amusement.
Maybe they’d already known, maybe they’d suspected it.
"Penelope is going to have a field day with this," Emily muttered under her breath, her eyes narrowing as she gave you a pointed look.
You smiled. Penelope would certainly have plenty of fun with this.
Under the table, your hand reached for Spencer’s, fingers intertwining gently as you squeezed his hand in reassurance.
Derek let out another low chuckle, clearly amused. “You two have been sneaking around long enough. I should’ve seen this coming.”
You turned to Derek, narrowing your eyes playfully. “We didn’t exactly sneak around, Derek. We just weren’t broadcasting it to the whole world.”
Derek’s grin turned mischievous again. “Well, I’ll say this much... if you two are gonna go public, I want an invite to the wedding.”
You rolled your eyes, nudging Spencer with your shoulder. “You’re impossible, Derek.”
You let out a quiet, playful sigh, shrugging your shoulder casually as you twirled Spencer's fingers between your own.
You glanced up, meeting Hotch’s usually stoic eyes. For a brief second, you swore you saw the faintest smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
And with that, the playful teasing continued, but you didn’t mind. Because, with Spencer next to you, everything felt exactly as it should.
#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#criminal minds x you#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fic#criminal minds angst
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Make The Neighbor's Know My Name - ERWIN SMITH x F! READER SMUT
MDNI 18+
What happens when your hot, (divorced) older neighbor just can't help himself?
wc: 5.5k (sorry!)
cw: SMUT, porn w plot, Modern!AU, age gap, mentions of shitty fathers, DADDY KINK (again, sorry i just know he has one), cursing, p in v, oral on both ends, squirting, general nastiness, breeding kink lol
a/n: wow had sm fun writing this. also this may be tmi scroll if u dont care but shoutout to the dude who made me s****t for the first time i was reminded ab you when writing this, hes a whole dad now lifes crazy
˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ *˚
Erwin Smith is an established man. He has a nice house and a good job-one where he got his hands dirty and worked his way up for years before becoming the boss. He works out on a weekly basis, eats (somewhat) healthy and can (again somewhat) cook. He is clean and well kept, educated and respected in his community. Kids love him, so do dogs and the elderly. With a politeness often associated with much different times and a beautiful, piercing set of blue eyes, he is damn dear perfect. On all accounts-a wonderful man.
So, it puzzles many that he lives in such a nice four bedroom all alone. It was not always like this; he used to be married. Had a sweet little housewife that got to stay home and do what she pleased. But it seems that freedom got to her head, overzealous with how much she could get away with-unfortunately it did not take many years of marriage to understand that it was never going to work. All it took was Erwin working a few months of overtime to push her into the arms of another man, one she claimed would give her more attention than he ever did. Perhaps he had neglected her a bit, let his job take over his life for a while. But it was all for her! So, they could have even more stability and possibly even become ready to start a family.
Nowadays he thanks God they never had a child together. And after the dull ache that was getting cheated on, the divorce, the court process that ensued afterward-the man was convinced that he was better off alone. He could accept that truth. There was no need to go chasing a feeling he had already experienced.
But that is not to say that he does not get any action. He is a man after all and they have needs, he surely does. He is no stranger to going out and chatting up nice women, taking them out on a few dates and making them feel special only to break it off when things get serious. It's a pattern at this point. His friends (employees) tell him he should drop the good guy act and just fuck shamelessly. Skip the formalities and go straight to the good part. Just be honest, it is arguably better than whatever the hell he is doing.
He considers it for about a week, even thinks about downloading an app so the opportunity is always there at his convenience. He knows he is a good-looking man who has much to offer, the matches will certainly come in.
That was until he becomes distracted by you. A cute little twenty something that moves directly across the street from him. He watched from both the windows of his home to the security camera which conveniently already faces your house. You had a few other younger girls helping you, two guys and neither seemed to be your boyfriend so that was a plus. And when he left to go get drinks, truck keys in hand-acting like he was not staring directly at you behind the shade of sunglasses you were bold enough to be the one to utter the first word.
It was after a few giggles of your girlfriends, who were also checking him out, but he was more focused on you. Hoping it would indeed be you that was moving in. "Hi neighbor!"
One of the girls slaps you lightly, mostly surprised you were actually bold enough to call out to the hot dilf across the street that's probably married. But he waves and says hello back before stepping into the large truck and driving off. They laugh as you stand there for a while, the wheels in your head turning.
You've always had a thing for older guys.
You soon come to learn he is not a dilf but the sentiment is there. It begs to argue the question, does a man really need to have a child to be a dilf? It may be in the title, but you see it more as a state of mind. And you also learn that he is divorced, he lives alone actually. Except for the golden retriever you often see accompanying him on runs.
You can thank the nosy old lady that lives next door for all of this top-secret information. It reminds you to accept her invites inside for tea often, you feel like you've met the whole neighborhood thanks to her gossip.
For the first month and a half your interactions with the man are mostly basic. Friendly 'hello's' and small little waves before the two of you leave for work in the mornings.
The first time you have an actual conversation is when you are bold enough to knock on his front door one Sunday morning. You know he is awake because he has already gone for his morning run. The sight of your new sexy neighbor all sweaty in his compression top and gym shorts has now become a part of your weekend routine. You wouldn't miss it for anything.
His hair is wet from the shower he just finished, still slightly dripping onto the thin material of his shirt. You swallow hard, trying to not get lost in the sea of muscle staring straight at you. You look up at him. He is more than twice your size.
You want to climb him like a tree.
"H-hi Mr. Smith so sorry to bother! I heard you own a construction company and well-I have this stupid door coming off the hinges! And I'd do it myself, but I suck at stuff like that! And I'd hate to hire someone to come all the way out here for something so small" You are visibly nervous, fidgeting and playing with your hands as you find it hard to maintain eye contact. He is just so fucking hot you cannot trust yourself to not gawk at the sight of him. "Of course, I'd pay you too!"
You are so cute and helpless. A fucking door hinge? Surely you have at least one friend who could help out with something like that. But as you soon come to learn, Erwin Smith will never say no to you. "Nonsense, no need to pay me. I'm always free to help a neighbor out. Let me go grab my tools"
So, he does and follows you across the street. He definitely does not check out your ass in those tiny little shorts that lift up a bit when you walk. In your defense-it's your day off, you deserve to be comfy!
Your house is exactly what he expected it to be, cute and tidy. It smells nice and everything is so girly. Pink and creme colored decorations scattered about, shiny hardwood floors that he can tell you recently cleaned. Perhaps it was in preparation of him coming over. Of course, the door just happens to be the closet door in your bedroom, with all of your cute little clothes as you sit on your cute little bed and watch.
Fuck, for some unknown reason the man finds it hard to focus. Even as you make small talk, his mind is elsewhere. Stuck on the sweet smell of you, the way you sit looking so pure and innocent-legs dangling over the edge of the bed as you watch him, head curiously cocked to the side.
He feels like a pervert for imagining what you must do in that bed. How beautiful you must look in the mornings when you wake up feeling lazy, stuck between the sheets. Do you cuddle up with the singular fluffy stuffed animal at night? Do you take it off the bed before you fuck someone, or does it stay up there? Even more, how many men have you fucked in that bed?
He forces himself to snap out of it, silently scolding himself for being so crass. This is not very neighborly of him. You would likely be disgusted by his vulgar thoughts. Or maybe you would like it, you don't do much to hide the way you stare at him. Even before this day, it was quite obvious that you had a little crush on him.
Yet as the older, more mature adult in the situation he tells himself that he must not entertain the idea. He is eighteen years older than you. Children have been born and graduated high school in that amount of time. It's downright wrong and these intrusive thoughts need to be put to an end.
It was easier said than done, especially when he catches a glimpse of your pink lacy panties thrown about the closet. He thinks about the underwear for the remainder of his day, if he were a less respectable man, he would have pocketed the pair and took the home. But he would never, he only imagines he did.
Two days later you show up to his doorstep, with a nice homemade lasagna and the sweetest smile on your face to thank him. It is you that he wishes to devour instead. He even invites you inside to talk for a bit but keeps things fairly short. He considers opening up a bottle of wine but talks himself out of it. Remember, he promised himself he would not entertain the idea of you. Although it may be too late because he fucks his fist to the thought of you every night for the remainder of the week.
And one early morning at work, before any of his men have been sent out on jobs a few of them congregate around his desk. Engaging in small talk as they usually do, telling stories of girlfriends, wives, how drunk they go the other night, cars-the usual guy stuff.
"Boss! How're the apps treating you?! You get any action?" Eren, one of his younger employees cannot help but ask seeing as he was the one to suggest in the first place.
"For real! You haven't said shit since we made you download it" Connie walks in, hardhat in hand as the other one holds the phone his crazy girlfriend is currently blowing up. He ignores the calls and shoves it into his back pocket. "Don't hold out on us man I tell you everything!"
"I'm aware" Erwin cocks a rather judgmental eyebrow-there are many stories which would have been better off unheard. Things he would much rather forget.
And then he thinks of you-the only woman which has plagued his thoughts for close to two months now. He sighs, contemplating if it worth bringing up. His heart drops as the realization dawns on him that you are practically the same age as the two young men before him-younger actually. "Shit" He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "There is...a woman. Not from an app, my neighbor actually"
"Ohhh your neighbor! So, you get to hit and just walk right back home?" Connie laughs and the man cannot help but roll his eyes. These two are definitely the wrong people to be discussing this with.
"We haven't done anything; I just find her attractive is all. Probably not the smartest idea to fool around with someone I run in to almost every day anyways"
"Why not? Saves you money and gas" Eren argues. "She live alone too?"
Erwin sighs because he has neglected to mention the most important detail. "Yes, she lives alone, apparently she inherited the house from her aunt"
"All I hear is a lonely lady who needs some company" Connie shrugs, taking a sip of his coffee. "What's stopping you?"
"She's quite young"
Eren and Connie could not be more excited that their usually reserved boss is opening up to them for once. After all of the talking they have done, it is his turn to ask for advice. "Erwin Smith you smooth motherfucker" The shorter man teases. "How young?"
"Last year of college young"
The men all but gasp, smiling excitedly as this is the juiciest piece of information they've heard in ages. They never would have expected it from a man who (with all respect) has a constant stick up his ass. "Younger than us?"
"......yes" He sighs ashamedly as the men whoop and holler. Rolling his eyes as they dap each other up as if they are the ones about to get laid.
"You better do it boss! Chicks these days are crazy. We can thank your generation for being such shitty fathers" He should expect such ignorant comments from someone like Jaeger, a guy who has been stringing his girl best friend along since childhood.
"Forget I even said anything" Smith stands up, grabbing a clipboard and few other necessities for the job site he will soon be off to. But he should know the two young men would persist.
"I say do it boss!" Eren encourages, pumping a fist into the air. "Do it! Do it!"
"Do it! Do it!" Connie joins in on the chanting, they follow the man out his office-ignoring the stares of their fellow colleagues. That is until their boss scolds them to get the hell to work. So, they do, retreating back to their trucks as Erwin stands in place in thought for a while.
They have given him much to think about.
He ponders the conversation for days afterwards. Every time he looks at you, when you have those short little conversations that keep his day going. Perhaps it would not be so bad, he hopes you aren't looking for anything serious. Or maybe he does, his mind remains undecided. It would not be so bad having a pretty young thing like you on his arm. But he is getting ahead of himself.
He talks to you more, striking up longer conversations whenever he gets the chance. You are very polite; he finds it sweet the way you cross your ankles and tuck your hands behind yourself whenever the two of you speak-almost as if you were nervous. For some reason, it makes him want you even more.
After weeks of much of the same behavior he decides he has had enough. It's not so bad, it's not like he knew you before you were an adult or anything. You are a grown woman who pays bills and provides for herself-you have your own house for Christ's sake! He needs to stop babying you, looking at you as if you are just some lost little girl. You have needs of your own. Needs he is more than certain he can meet. So, he invites you inside for drinks one Friday evening, you do not think about it for even a second before agreeing.
Sending a text to your girls about how you are finally going to fuck the hot man from across street, you shut off your phone. You want absolutely zero distractions during your visit, a plan of your own is in the works.
You drink his fancy wine and watch a movie on the couch, carefully maintaining a bit of distance between the two of you. You almost forgot how nervous he makes you, perhaps the liquid courage is what you need to get your act right.
"Come closer" He pats the spot beside him, and you hesitantly follow his orders, setting down the wine glass and closing the gap between the two of you. Your thighs are touching, hands awkwardly stuck on either side of you, the pace of your heartbeat quickens when the man slides an arm down and around your waist. "What's the matter? Am I making you uncomfortable?" He has to make sure before things go any further. Your stiff body language is telling him that perhaps he should slow down.
"Oh no! Never!" You shake your head, trying to ease into his touch. But you are still afraid to touch him yourself. "It's just......you're a bit intimidating"
He exhales a puff of air through his nose, clearly amused by your words. Brushing a piece of hair behind your ear, he speaks again. "Oh darling, I don't mean to be. What can I do to make you feel better?"
His deep voice sends shivers down your spine, it sends shivers somewhere else too. "I-I don't know" You laugh. "You're just so big and..... established. Have no idea what you're doing sitting here with a girl like me"
"Oh, don't say that" He turns his body a bit to face you better, arm still stuck in its place around you. He places the other hand on your knee, you remain painfully aware of its place. "I'm the one who should be questioning how I got such a pretty little thing sitting on my couch" You giggle, it makes him twitch in his pants. "I'm the lucky one here"
His hand slides up to your thigh, massaging the fat in a way that makes you burn with desire. A heat builds deep within you. "T-touch me please"
Oh, your sugary voice is driving him crazy; he had no idea he would be this into something like this, someone like you. He pulls you into his lap, hands dragging up and down either side of your body as he takes all of you in. He lets out a long sigh, hips shifting beneath you as his cock begins to harden at the feeling of your burning skin. He hooks his thumb beneath your shirt, looking up at you. "May I?"
You nod almost frantically before he pulls the fabric over your head. Facing a baby pink, lacy bralette-he is unable to stop the groan from leaving his lips. He kisses the uncaged skin beneath your breaths, inadvertently taking a deep breath in to get more of your syrupy scent. "You wear this for me?" He questions.
You nod shyly, trying to hide your face but he pulls it closer to look at him. A hand guides you to fill in the space between your faces, foreheads pressing together but he does not kiss you. Not yet anyways, he wants to tease you a bit first. "Use your words"
"Y-yes I wore it for you daddy" It was a shot in the dark, most men his age are into shit like that.
He groans again. Fuck. Eren was right, thanks to all the shitty fathers out there, yours included.
You laugh, finally gaining that bit of confidence you need to keep the teasing going. "Wanna see what else I put on for you?"
"Show me darling" His eyes follow your hand which goes down to unbutton your shorts, unzipping them a bit before hooking your thumb to pull them forward-giving him perfect sight of the cute little bow which sits atop your panties. The same pair he spotted in your closet all those months ago. If he wasn't hard before then he definitely was now, nearly bursting at the seams of his pants. And he chuckles, twitching in anticipation as your body rocks with his. "You planned this, didn't you? Dirty girl"
"Mhm" You laugh, hand running down his chest, you let your nails dig into the fabric of his shirt a bit. You are desperate to feel even more of him. "Did I do a good job?"
"So good princess" He confirms, kissing your chest again. "Let's go upstairs"
You agree, making sure to grab your shirt that you clutch to your chest, painfully aware of the fact you are the only one without a shirt on. But your worries are soon dissolved because Erwin sheds his own shirt the second the two of you reach his room, you sit on his large bed, taking him in all his glory. Your mouth practically waters at the sight of nothing but muscle and evidence of years of hard work, the dirty blonde happy trail you wish to see the end of.
He walks up to you, standing at the edge of the bed and you look up to him. You are eye level with the tent of his pants. He brings a hand to gently caress your face, words are not necessary to know what he wants. You're so sweet and obedient that you go to fumble with the zipper of his pants almost immediately. And when he springs out you have to stop your eyes from widening at the sheer size of him. You almost feel afraid again but you don't want him to know that-you seem naive enough already. You'd like to surprise him a bit.
You kiss the girthy tip as if it were his lips, sticking out your tongue to flick over the slit. You press an exaggerated closed mouth kiss to the tip before taking more of him in your mouth. He groans, throwing back his head as you make your way down inch-by-inch. When you reach the base you swallow, throat tightening around him as he looks down to watch you-mouth agape.
Your wide eyes look up at him gleefully, if you could smile you would. The wait for him was sooo worth it-you think as he looks down at you in what seems to be pure amazement. Brows scrunching as he groans as you choke on his length. A mess of saliva and tears as you bob your head up and down, you can feel when his tip makes it past a certain place in your throat, growing conscious of how deep he is reaching.
It hurts but you can't find it in yourself to stop, he looks so good. An absolute mess as his manly groans make you want to play with your pussy. But instead, you take it a step further, you need this man to remember you, to crave you for years afterwards just in case this never happens again. Although you hope it does. You wrap both arms around his thighs, bringing him deeper as he begins to fuck your mouth.
Erwin, who has stayed relatively quiet since then becomes a mess. "Ohh fuck-fuck! So good, gonna fuck this tight little throat.... good girl, good girl"
You moan at his nasty words, sounds of gagging and wet slaps play like a symphony. Until he pulls back once he realizes he was about to blow a massive load down your throat. No, he wants to save it.
He pulls out, strings of spit dripping from his cock as you gasp for air, wiping away the tears from your eyes and mess of liquid around your mouth. "Mmm" You moan. "Was it good daddy?"
"So good darling" He rubs his thumb over your now swollen lips. "You're doing such a good job for me"
He leans down to kiss you, finally. Fervently grabbing at your hair and hips as he makes his way onto the bed. You scoot back, lips never leaving his as he goes to pull off your shorts. Tongues pressing together in-sync, he stops for a moment to suck on yours-eliciting a small whimper from you. Your nails trace up and down his arms, lost in the feeling of his lips. You could stay this way for hours.
But he obviously would like to keep things going, pulling down your shorts all the way before going down to kiss you through the thin fabric. He makes out with your pussy through the lace, stopping to suckle and blow tiny bubbles on your throbbing clit.
"Fuck!" You squeal, bucking your hips into his face as he continues the teasing. His tongue going up and down, creating an even larger wet spot that takes up most of the area. "Pleeease daddy"
"No, you can wait" He scolds, going to kiss your thighs softly. "Be patient. I'd like to take my time with you, get you ready for my cock"
"Mhm" You nod yet your hips buckle up again. "S-sorry"
"It's okay princess" He coos, finally pulling your panties down completely. When he licks a stripe up your pussy you all but scream.
"Mmm yesss!"
He kisses your clit, sucking it before swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. Your hips try to fuck his face, he lets it happen, diving deeper and deeper into your pussy. He sticks his tongue out and shakes his head side to side, moaning at the way you cry out-so receptive to his touch.
He moves down to fuck you with his tongue, you bump your clit against his nose, mouth open and eyes rolled to the back of your head in a pure state of bliss. You tug at his hair roughly, using it to guide you against him, so desperate for more. Your mind clouds with pleasure, mouth forming into an 'o' shape as your hips begin to stutter, breath catching in your throat. And when he pulls back to spit! on your pussy, not once or twice, but three times you think you have died and gone to heaven. With the addition of his fingers, and focusing the attention back to your clit, it is not long after that your release washes over you.
You exclaim out loud as your back arches off the bed, softly buckling down onto his tongue as he laps up all of your essence.
The both of you are panting as he comes back up to meet your lips. Tongue assaulting yours as you taste nothing but yourself on his tongue. That's the way it should be-you think. His painfully hard length presses into your stomach, you look down to see how deep it might go inside of you, but you look back up again when you start to feel scared of the stretch. You trust him, that is all that matters.
And before he can even ask if you want him to put a condom on or not, you grab his cock, sliding it down your folds and circling it around your clit. "Want you inside now daddy"
And who is he to ever say no to you? Seconds later he is pressing himself inside of you, thankful that he prepared you for it beforehand because it doesn't take very long for him to bottom out. "Ohh shit" He groans, pulling all the way out them slamming back in. "Fuck...you're so tight"
Your walls squeeze around him even more at his words, arms settling around his broad shoulders as you fight the urge to let your hips run away. He notices the way you pull back; he won't allow it. Bringing your bodies flush against one another, he rests his forehead on your shoulder, strong arms pulling you down onto him. You cry at the pressure, the way he is stabbing at you from inside, so deep you feel it might go out into your tummy. You squeal again, legs crossing over his back. "Erwin! Mmm, no no no, it hurts"
A stray tear falls from your eye, yet your hips begin to seek out his as you grow more accustomed to the stretch. "F-fuck" Your stomach begins to flutter.
"Oh shh shhh darling it's okay" He sounds so gentle, the complete opposite of the mean snap of his hips. "You want me to stop?" Another powerful thrust makes you let out a noise closer to a scream.
"No daddy please don't stop" You begin to claw at his back as he sets himself a pace, loud sounds of clapping begin to fill the room.
Your pussy is choking him, so slippery and needy. It sucks him in with each thrust, a 'slush' noise every time he pulls himself out. "So wet" The man gasps at the sight of all your juices splattered about. He needs to see more.
Pushing your knees into your chest and angling his hips a bit higher, he begins to drill into you at an unrelenting pace. A mix of saccharine moans fill the room, the sound of his headboard slamming against the wall. "Oh, oh oh! Erwin! Mmmm!" You sound so perfect, the sound of you moaning his name alone is enough to make him want to cum.
"Feels sooo good" Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he plows into you in a way that feels mechanical. In a way you have never felt before. He is so experienced, he knows all the right buttons to push, places to touch you and kiss. You are so mind numbingly stuck in a state of bliss that you almost feel lost. Like you could never crave another man after sleeping with him.
"Guys your age ever treat you like this?" He questions, now forcing your legs together with one arm and picking your hips up off the bed. Continuing his assault on your sweet little pussy that has made him go fucking stupid. He usually maintains a sense of composure when sleeping with new women, he knows what he enjoys may not be everyone's cup of tea but you, well you are the most perfect little slut he has ever met. "They fuck you this good?"
"No Erwin!" You cry out, gripping the sheets as he continues slamming into you. "You're the best! Fuck, Erwin! It's tooo much, feels weird"
Your hips twitch, he knows very well what this means. Oh, he needs it, he needs you to squirt all over him or else he will not be satisfied. "Erwin! Erwin!"
"Yeah, keep talking princess, make all the neighbors know my name, huh?" He goes down to toy with your clit, your hips attempt to squirm away. But the arm wrapped around your thighs ensure you stay in place. He pinches your clit, tip pushing against your g spot in a way that makes it hard to speak.
"Nonono, think I'm gonna pee" You shake your head frantically, trying to grab his arms and free yourself of his grip. But he will not allow it.
"Just let go" He orders, hair now sticking to his head as he shakes it back and forth. "Squirt all over daddy princess, I'll clean it up"
You finally reach your breaking point, breath so caught in your throat that your moan is almost silent, too high pitched to even be registered. Your hips and thighs are shaking, stomach quivering and you can feel your heartbeat in your pussy as he does not relent with his thrusts-close to a release of his own. When you squirt all over him, he whines stuck on the juices gushing out of you. His eyes squeeze shut as the image replays over and over again in his head, finally dropping your body back down to the mattress as he is almost where he needs to be. "Such a messy pussy" He moans into your skin, your body lays limp as you try to do something as simple as breathe.
It is hard when he snatches every little gasp out of you. But you can feel him twitching inside you, thrusts grow sloppy as you grab at his hair, your sensitive pussy being pushed to her brink. "Please please cum inside daddy. Fuckkk I need it! Wanna keep it inside all night and remember how good you made me feel"
Your dirty words are enough to push him over the edge, spilling into you and splaying your womb with his seed. Fuck, his dick belongs inside of you. So does his cum, he wants to do this every day when he comes home from work. In the mornings before he even gets out of bed. At night when before he goes to sleep. He wants you stuffed with him at all times. His cum spills out of you as he finally pulls out, dripping down your thighs.
He looks up at you with a mischievous look on his eyes. It feels unnatural to see such a composed man come undone, the way he eats you up with his eyes.
And you are staring at him like he is the most handsome man on the planet, well he kind of is. To you at least. You chuckle, you're in danger, never has a man made you feel this good before. He made you squirt the first time sleeping with you. Fuck, you're dickmatized.
"We should have done this a long time ago" He collapses into your chest, kissing whatever skin is available softy. He will clean you up in a bit, for now he needs to rest.
"Yes, we should have" You play with his hair before kissing the top of his head, making yourself quite comfortable in his sheets. You could get used to this.
And used to it, you become. Erwin is now a daily part of your routine, the same as sleeping and eating. Getting creampied by Erwin Smith was now the highlight of most of your days but it was not all purely physical. He took you out a few times, you even met a few of his coworkers one night over drinks. You spend the night at each other's houses and begin to go on morning runs together.
You suppose you should not be surprised when you end up pregnant several months later. Knocked up by your sexy older neighbor that you now consider to be your boyfriend. He even suggests the two of you get married, but you agree to wait for the baby to come along to see if that changes anything in your relationship.
Now, because of you, he will live up to his true potential as a dilf.
#erwin smith#erwin x reader#aot#aot erwin#erwin aot#aot x reader#aot smut#erwin smith smut#attack on titan smut
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Sweeter than sugar . . .
sugar daddy ted nivison x gn!reader headcanons sfw & nsfw dl;dr based on this post
SFW
you find this man on one of those searching sites. his description is detailed. hes a man who knows what he wants and wants someone who knows what they want to, but is very eager to help anyone new to the scene to guide them
he loves to spoil you. most people like this do but he goes over and beyond, the first date was the first sign of it really. lavish restaurant with a beautiful ocean front. or something upscale downtown, multi storied so he can have you look out on the town below
very clingy. he works most of the time to have the funds to give you the gifts he loves to give you, but during his breaks, he uses them to call you first thing. as soon as the clock hits exactly, he's ringing your line to hear your voice and complain about you not being there with him
huge cuddler. same thing as clingy, but he'll pull you in when you're laying down, standing up, or just sitting somewhere. he needs to have his arms wrapped around you 24/7
has your name engraved into something he owns, most likely his passenger side of his car seat. he owns plenty, but has it engraved into the one he drives the most
will buy outfits for you to wear specifically for dates, even if you dont wear them again, he likes you to be fresh every time you go out. your closet is practically bulging out with the plethora of clothes
later on in the relationship, he'd probably want you to move in. he would understand if you said no, but honestly, how could you say no to that face? he just wants to take care of you
Chronic petname user. Baby, darling, doll, the works. He slips it in every conversation you guys have, never failing to make you feel all warm inside
NSFW
he's also in the dom/sub scene. it doesnt surprise you, really. when you both start getting sexually active regularly, he lets you in on that lifestyle. he's a soft dom service top, but doesn't mind bottoming or subbing for you. but he prefers to watch you squirm
he's big. you can handle him, but it never fails to spark nervous excitement in your blood seeing his cock, hard and twitching for you. it stuffs you deliciously, and he never fails to comment on it, knowing it drives you crazy
"Oh baby, I know. You feel so full, don't you? You're taking it all in like a good little thing, practically sucking me in. Fuck- you're that hungry for it, hm?"
he's nice, but can be so mean with it too. you're acting out? you're on your back, lower half practically stuck in the air with him slowly thrusting inside you, playing with you, edging you. you're in tears as you beg and plead but he just looks down at you with a condescending smirk, cooing at how pathetic you look
his favorite position is where he can see you, where he can look at you fall apart. on your back, in front of the mirror, and when you're on top of him are all his go-tos. his hands burn themselves into your skin
favors slow, longer and passionate sex rather than quickies. he'll only cave when you want it, but most of the time, he wants you in bed. nice and comfortable
although, has had fantasies about fucking you in his office. bent over his desk.
doesnt jerk off, similar to the point above. but when you send him teasing texts or sexy pictures, he'll indulge a bit, but waits til he's home to really give it to you
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Was I supposed to feel any warm fuzzies when Yotha and his mum had their reconciliation moment?? Cause I sure as shit didn't... I hate the mum more than ever after this scene because it's even more evident to me now that she doesn't care about her relationship with her sons, she just cares about her own comfort.
She's only been so focused on fixing things with Yotha because he's loud and abrasive in his dislike of her, and that makes her life harder because she can't ignore it. But look at the others.
Newton is completely emotionally disconnected and apathetic. He takes the news that his mother is moving roughly 6000 miles away with the same level of emotion you'd give a casual acquaintance, with "well if I'm ever in your neck of the woods we should catch up" energy. And I think this is because he genuinely doesn't care, he hasn't relied on his mum since the divorce and is of the 'no expectations means no disappointments' mentality. The mum is fine with this distance because it's subtle and non-confrontational, which is comfortable for her. Who cares that his coping mechanism is unhealthy, at least it's quiet.
Then we have Faifa... I could, and do, cry when I think too hard about this poor boy. His mum ripped him out of one family unit and then shoved him out of another. And why?? For her own convenience. In her own words, she took him to live with her because he, the child, would experience enough separation anxiety to force her, the adult, to keep in touch with her other kids. Thats a level of emotional abuse that I dont even have the language to try and explain... and then she fully admits that if she'd taken Yotha in the divorce, they'd have never seen her again.
Then, we can only assume, especially after the "your stepfather and siblings ask about you all the time" comment, that he wasn't shoved out of his second family due to unresolvable issues or something like that. It sounds more like, at some point, it became more comfortable for her to keep these two chapters of her life completely separate. This trauma has made Fai such a people pleaser that he's completely unable to process, let alone call out, his mums shitty actions and is instead left feeling like a burden who constantly has to prove his worth. (Don't even get me started on the fact that his mother practically rips his self worth away, admits she didn't want to live with him because she loved him but purely for convenience, drops the bomb that she's abandoning him again, and then he offers her a lift to the airport!! Like he feels the need to prove his worth one last time.) But at least, from the mums perspective, this isn't uncomfortable or overt, so she doesn't see, or chooses not to acknowledge, the obvious hurt he's going through cause its easier for her not to. She gets to keep her comfort through willful ignorance.
So yeah, it's nice Yotha has had a chance to get some closure, but at what cost??
#perfect 10 liners#p10l faifa#why have my comfort characters never known a moment of comfort in their poor fictional lives#yotha p10l#newton p10l#sorry long rant
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"(that one arcane writer guy) drew inspiration from the US two party system and how they fail to communicate with each other"
what what what, yes of course thats totally comparable, you know, piltover, the rich powerful oppressor class living in paradise and zaun, the poor and exploited, that are literally made to live underground in poisoned air and water and waste created by the maschinery that makes piltover rich, rats in their garbage, that have no power anywhere and the second they resist get run over by enforcers of the rich and powerful
they just have a communication problem uwu, which is why putting 3 zaunites into the uniforms of their opressors and have them fight and die for a stupid otherworldy threat together makes them understand each other, which is why getting rid of any counceler that even mildly cared about zaun, reinstate that system, and giving a single seat to sevika instead makes sense, and look, the rich upper class powerful lesbian that turned into a dictator for a time gets to keep her power and the poor zaunite lesbian that lost everything get to be together!! we did it! we solved politics!
#ganondoodles talks#arcane critical#also literal fascist and the left not communicating isnt the problem....#also *sigh* no i dont mean the show needs to be a paramount of good ethics or whatever#showing the dirty ways politics move in that world is like .. the entire point#or WAS i guess until god cpmplex viktor showed up#(i dont have anything against viktor .. generally .. i liked him laot in season 1 .. but to have him become whatever that was .. man )#(and then used like that in s2 ..........)#the class struggle and the relatioship between vi and jinx was like ... the core of arcane#unti lseason 2 decided it wasnt it guess#and the way the end happens like that is just so#like its presented as if that solved anything ..... thats not ........... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#yeah lets abandon all the fight for freedom and dismanteling of the oppressive system thats been build up the entire time#bc uuuuuuuuh whoopsy theres magic stuff happening now and some guys that lost the plot weeeeeee#im so tired#sorry i needed to get that out
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top three worst things to happen to a girl:
having greasy hair
a press on nail popping off in public, specifically in a grocery store
having greasy hair
#honestly i just need to be bald at this point#my hair gets greasy the second i LOOK at it when stepping out the shower#and dont even get me started on the press on nails#that shit is so HUMILIATING#like hi excuse me let me just pass by u and KNEEL DOWN to retrieve my NAIL#most of the time i just pretend i didnt see it and bitterly move on w my life#girl problems#lol
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oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#‘ann werent you just pairing olivia with thar—‘ OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigo’s way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his mother’s grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble he’ll insist upon bringing—#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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I think if you asked Julian who the worst patient on DS9 is his answer would change depending on the day but if you asked literally any other member of the medical staff they would all say "Doctor Bashir" with absolutely no hesitation
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#I truly in my heart believe that Julian is an absolute fucking NIGHTMARE of a patient#to the point that they literally will not let him stay in the infirmary as a patient unless he is fucking unconscious#if he's awake he's a goddamn menace#it takes three officers to wrangle him into a bed and keep him there#because he could be actively bleeding out but if he sees another patient come in he'll try to get up#he makes poor Nurse Jabara grow greys#the SECOND he can be moved she's like 'great somebody call the O'Briens to come get him'#also you may be wondering why Julian's answer on the worst patient changes#because I know. I know Garak is the obvious answer#but also can you imagine trying to convince Kira she needs to be on bedrest#or trying to get Worf to even COME to the infirmary#dont even get him started on Martok#whichever one of those four has annoyed him more that day is his answer
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January 2025 moodboard
#if only I could become rich and move out of the us or something somehow.. please overseas followers let me come live in your basement#much in the same fashion as some wealthy family in some novel set in the 1800s or something who has a decrepit hermit cousin#that they allow to live on their grand estate just because they feel sorry for them and they mostly keep to themselves and never cause#any issue or anything. Like 'oh thats just Cousin Edmind. you may see him wandering the halls. dont mind him. he doesnt come out#of his quarters very much. dear papa has taken pity on his frail soul and pallid complexion..' so on and so forth#(just joking) (mostly) (...unless)#Really I just nEED to get my game done. I feel like even if everything implodes and I perish in a gutter of some preventable disease#that I was never aware of because the cdc has been dismantled and masks have been banned and my healthcare has been removed then#at LEAST if I can get my game and my worldbulilding videos all done then it will be like.. well okay at least I got the ideas out there.#Then maybe 50 years later some random person will find them and be like ooooh this is cool and then make a movie of it or something#and the concepts shall live on in some manner. so on and so forth. Of course the ideal is I have a long peaceful career of creating sculpt#ures and games and short story anthologies and tee hee and rainbows and so on but.. The statistical likelihood of that grows slimmer#I fear due to the world around me and my existing position within it. Unless i become randomly wealthy for some inexplicable reason#(not that money fixes everything. but it does give you an escape plan and a cushion for hardship. If your house is destroyed due to#ever worsening climate change and you're poor then.. welp. thats it pretty much. no hope. If your house is destroyed due to ever worsening#climate change but you have a decent amount of money then. okay. maybe you can rebuild. you can regain some security and stability#back in your life much faster and be back to a point of stasis and development. You're obviously#not invincible still BUT you can take more blows with a less strenuous recovery time. at least generally speaking)#ANYWAY.. huzzah. such a good time to be immune compromised and severely mentally ill. The#modern world is made for people like me to succeed!! :3#*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
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Finally fixating on some nugget relationships that aren't horrible for everyone I love friendship <3
#rat rambles#I feel like Ive mentioned them before but Ive been rotaing them in my head so hard today#jacob dexter besties arc <3333 and also piper ig :/#they're all friends I just have favorite children (even tho Im pretty sure piper is the one whos been around the longest)#theres nothing super deep going on with them they're just bros who like to hang out drink and have game nights sometimes#but I likes them. they're silly :3#I need to dexter post more often yes they basically do nothing but be their friends supply guy but I love her sm#I used to be painfully neutral on him until I started lor at which point she grew on me hard and its only been getting worse#shes a mess who is squeamish and easily grossed out (rip bozo) and also an alcoholic (rip bozo) and also loves gambling (rip bozo)#hes surprisingly not doing as bad as youd think theyd be considering the everything tho#mostly because theyre good with tech and also are very good at breaking rules without getting too punished#but also because of their friends ig. eyeroll.#jacob also has a lot of bullshit going on as he is one of the poor souls who for a time caught yuri's attention but hes managing#and by managing I do mean on the verge of a breakdown at all times and holding on by a thread because he does not need to have juliet's#wrath added to his ever growing list of problems and traumatic events#again having positive relationships does also help but hes easily the least stable of the crew#to be clear theyre not like. super close? they hang out and play games and shit but they generally treat their hang outs as escapism so#they rarely talk much abt themselves on a personal level with eachother#which is fine they still value eachother a lot and genuinely enjoy eachothers company#although they are a bit recklessly fond of eachother considering their situation Id say. thankfully they dont get punished for it tho.#if one of them Had died and not instantly got brought back I do think the other two would fully lose it#the closest this ever got to happening in game was me not realizing dexter (level 5 employee btw) had gotten eaten by the wolf#and almost moving to the next day before realizing she had died#and do note this was like at the point in the game where I was just about done preparing to start the last 5 days this was Late late game#but autism be damned my boy can fuck up one of the easiest waws#(not a boy tbc)#honestly its kind of a miracle I never let piper die I Really didnt care abt him before the other two boosted him by proxy#well tbf he was for a good while one of like. two ppl I had in training. and they also are in little red gear. so they Did have value. ig.#piper comes from category of nugget I had in my early game that I liked to call bodyguards#basically I had one or two guys per department who actually did work and then another guy or two to be extra fire power
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its been a long time since i found a game that had me excited for whats to come
this is a me thing that im talking about below... usually when i play games, its mainly about it preoccupying my brian with tasks and goals. this is why i gravitate towards sim and management games! to me thats whats enjoyable
i feel like its rare that i just play something just cause its fun to me if that makes sense. and i think infinity nikki is managing to do that like im not progressing through the story super quickly and kind of just letting myself explore, dress up and take pictures at my own pace and im really hoping it stays like this for me for a long time
#this doesnt apply to VNs btw i play those purely for story like 95% of the time lol#im mainly talking about games with actual moving gameplay if that makes sense#anyways im really excited for houses#im gonna fill mine with plushies if possible#but like seriously i feel the last time i felt like this was...#probably when i was a child and i first really started getting into mmos#stuff like toontown and pixie hollow and neopets online etc etc#maybe its just a me getting older thing but like...i really do just get into doing the tasks and consider that enough#and im not saying i dont like doing tasks and like setting goals for myself (i like these types of games)#or that i dont play for other reasons too like story#its just nice to switch it up sometimes and just be in the experience and not thinking about what i need to do next#and tbf there have been times when im dragged into game for task reasons when thats not the point of the game!#unfortunately ffx1v was one of those games for me#so i didnt see the point of paying monthly you know#honestly if it wasnt subscription based id probably play more but id like touch the game once or twice a week to make progress#or play with friends#since i wasnt really getting pulled into the world#then for time princess its become more about doing dailies and collecting stuff#my otome gachas i still have...i dont even read the stories anymore i just log in to complete dailies so i can collect cards#tw/st im there for the story but it still falls into me mainly logging in everyday to complete tasks and lvl up cards#since im not always in the mood for reading the story#i think with nikki im gonna have to definitely let myself not log in EVERYDAY to do dallies#once the initial exitement goes away#i should just play when the mood strikes so it doesnt become another game i log in to everyday for those dailies#im not too worried about it because like i said im not desperately trying to get through the story and collect stuff#and im fine getting whatever clothes i happen to get while playing#but still that daily stuff can become tedious and is part of the reason i dropped d33pspace even though i liked it#if ur not careful before u know it a game becomes a chore#and fomo has an easier time setting in#infinity nikki
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time 4 yet another wavernot4love gig recap, gloomtown rochester edition (aka my seventh time seeing idkhow, fourth in rochester, & third at the montage music hall, the latter two a feat i cannot say for many bands) (note this was typed primarily at three am last night so once again there is probably incoherent rambling):
- gonna start this off with this clip of sunnyside since 1. i think that is becoming my favorite song off gloom division and 2. the ending gives me a chuckle
- boring live finally came back 2 me after four long years!!!!
- (dallon neurodivergency mention when talking about the themes of gloom division) (crowd erupts in cheers)
- return of the mormon tabernacle choir comparison arrived post- a letter, with dallon saying the next song (what love) wasn't something they tell you about in church, in typical cheeky fashion
- somewhat related, bro was wearing a gold sparkly grandma cardigan and randomly ripped it off and threw it CLEAN through the doorway of the like, green room at montage mid- what love. speaking of he said people at the vip earlier apparently planned his outfit
- dallon straight up grabbed a kid by the hand mid song and yanked them out of the crowd & onstage so they could do a lil jig together? good for them!!!
- going to leave the dallon quote "this isn't a frat house!" here w/o context
- someone handed him a giant american flag with a picture of him printed on it. god bless america
- ALL OF THE BRACELETS/KEYCHAINS WENT? after the show maybe 40 of us camped outside in case dallon came out and at one point someone who had reached out about them came over & so did a BUNCH of other folks who realized there were, in fact, bracelets. my cousin referred to it as the "meet & greet" since there were barricades set up along the sidewalk which gave me a bit of a laugh. guess i'm making more for buffalo yippee!!!! possibly may make stickers too later if i have time. i'll probably post em, but otherwise look for the person w curly hair & a baggy black thought reform hoodie w bracelets on a carabiner!
- so while we were waiting my cousin and i were sat RIGHT next to the main entrance of montage, right? basically the start of a sort of line of people sat down going down the sidewalk.
anyways, at one point only maybe 45 minutes after the show, out of said main entrance strolls dallon. collective whiplash moment as bro took one look, stopped dead in his tracks, we all collectively looked at each other like
and dallon (who i think was truly surprised so many of us were out waiting in the cold) goes, lightheartedly but genuinely, "what are you guys doing all out here? it's freezing outside!"
and then proceeds to kinda frolick around for a couple minutes laughing w people or whatever. we didn't really approach him since i think he was a bit overwhelmed but it was still just a funny moment and we'll see what happens in buffalo! maybe less people will hang after so it'll be less intimidating for him.
- i do feel the need to mention i heard this one kid we were talking to bring up video games to him & dallon said he's not a huge video games person he just plays the last of us & spiderman really which is funny to me but fitting
- i did bring my point & shoot so once i edit those maybe i'll post some!
anyways, stoked on tomorrow's show yay!!!
#idkhow#gloomtown tour#dallon weekes#i dont know how but they found me#oh i am so excited for the idkhow biennual tour de upstate ny to continue 2morrow#i went from last weekend thinking “how am i going to adjust to idkhow tour THIS soon after 2ourdust?”#and not knowing any of gloomtown yet really besides a couple singles somewhat#to memorizing that entire record nearly and entirely living back in idkhow world#i knew this would happen like i've said before i am just impulsive and need to do it at the last minute RIGHT before a show#also i must say the only uhhh Thing about idkhow shows is i am convinced idkhowies do not know how to move during a show#only show i go to where everyone straight up just kinda stands there bobbing their heads#i saw a /hj post on reddit a while back about this where people brought up the idea of moshing to spkothdvl#and while that was being a bit facetious of course#people did bring up the point that uhh... some more jumping & such would be nice#buffalo i believe in you let's bring some energy to this thing#but regardless gr8 show it is always a good time at the idkhow show#first time i saw idkhow was in fact in rochester in 2018#dallon & i sure did yodel directly at each other for the entirety of that bit of visitation#hence why the entirety of that bit is fully cemented into my memory#wavernot4love gets 2 the gig#idkhowposting
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it sucks that shitty fans have made it impossible to celebrate canon queer relationships that they don't like and seem to have an influence on which ones get attention on social media. it sucks that it seems like no matter how much tim says he ignores fandom, it stills get to him. it sucks that oliver refuses to stand up for his costars when they're being harassed. it sucks that antis feel like they have the power to ruin good things for other people because they don't gain anything from it. it sucks that we all already knew this would happen because this show never changes no matter what network it's on.
#going back and forth between if i should just take a break from this show again#my excitement has been completely sucked out after the break up sure but especially after the reaction to the break up#fandom isnt fun because the fans are fucking evil and annoying about everything. the show isn't going in any direction.#grrr idk I shouldn't have expected more but canon bi buck really made me feel like we weren't going back to the days#of one dimensional love interests and storylines that go in circles#we'll see if i watch on thursday. im off so i can tune in at any point.#i want to see buck grieve this relationship in a respectful way but honestly at this point would be be respectful?#would they give buck room to breathe and let him work through his feelings? or will he mention he's kind of sad once and move on#because interviews are bullshit like always so oliver referencing buck coping could just be one scene where he's a little down#they cant treat bisexuality with respect they cant give their characters what they need what the fuck can they do#i dont wanna stop watching this show because i've been here since forever i love it but if no one gets movement#what story am i watching? whats the plot? buck's story just becomes shallow and fans who like b/ddie and ONLY b/ddie#take it as a win because they can keep projecting their vision on to him because he says nothing to prove otherwise#so they just become blank cardboard cut outs of the kind of characters they actually are#i'm tired
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As time goes by I'm becoming more and more sure that I just can't survive on my own. I can take basic care of myself, but the second I have to go to a doctor or do some formal stuff I get paralyzed. I just can't. Fuck, I can barely even talk to strangers in general. Or even not strangers, I can't fucking text someone back if I'm not close to them, it's just so scary and exhausting. I'm becoming emotionally tired more easily and sometimes even talking with my mom about anything is too much for me and I love my mom. And I really need her, I can't do basic stuff without her pretty much holding my hand all the time. I can't get a normal job. We went to this blueberry plantation a few times but I just couldn't go there without her, and now the job is over and we can't go there at all. If I wasn't such a fucking baby I'd go there a few more times alone and get some money. I can't make calls, there's literally like two people I feel comfortable talking on the phone with. People used to say I was mature for my age when I was younger but I never grew up and now I'm almost 21 and can't do anything with my life. I'm scared of everything, I'm constantly exhausted physically and mentally. I'm like a fucking child. I'm scared that I'm gonna have to live with my mom my whole life. I can't see a future for myself, I'm just not able to survive without help and at some point I won't be able to get help, I don't want to be a parasite living off of my mom's money but I don't see anything else I could do. I hate my brain so much. I hate the way it refuses to work. I hate myself for being such a child.
#you know theres this weird idk. impostor syndrome about me and my autism#like on one hand i know that autism is a disability. but on the other i cant think of myself as disabled#cause im not 'autistic enough'. because i can keep myself fed and clean and healthy and alive as long as im provided with everything i need#but then i have a full on breakdown because my new laptop doesnt work and i have to go to the store to have it checked/replaced#i wanna throw up just thinking about it#i cant do anything without my moms help#i wanna throw up and cry and die when theres too much happening around me. i cant survive in the real world. i just can't#i cant get a job or a partner or go to college or move out or even just fucking. go to a store and ask for help with my laptop.#i feel like im destined to live w my mom forever and not achieve anything and die alone#i keep talking about wanting to make a living with my art but thats bullshit. i do want that but i know it's not possible for me#i cant even fucking finish the commissions i already have. im scared to get new ones. im scared to do anything.#my brain refuses to let me work on anything#and yeah i am burnt out after my diploma and exams and all that but at some point i just have to admit im not built for that. for anything.#im built to live like a parasite baby and die#my mom is too good of a person to kick me out but i wouldnt blame her. im useless. i cant make money. i cant take care of myself#i dont know what to do#bee buzz
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Guess whos potentially working a triple tomorrow?????????
Im going to transform into my final form if this shit keeps up i swear to god.
#summerly talks#im just. gonna have to tell my boss that. effective immediately. i cant work the weekend anymore#sad because its good money#but this is becoming a fucking pattern and if it does i may actually dive into a fission reactor while singing meltdown ;_;#like. i was okay with the double? my coworker called in because her baby was sick#and she promised me if i couldnt get anyone to cover for my am shift tomorrow she would take it#then at like 9pm i get a text saying. she cant. her baby wont let her leave#and i feel selfish because. she has a baby. but i have cats and luckily i was able to drop by today to pick up my sleepover kit#and also make sure minty had food. (fieldie has an auto feeder so hes okay)#and i just. want to go home#the reality is i cant. i cant go. not unless one of the people i texted gets back to me saying theyll come in#and no one has yet. its 11pm. no one will at this point.#im tired im tired im tired#i dont want to end up like i did at my ladt job. giving away entirely too much of me and destroying myself#ive already lost most if not all of my passion for this job#and when i was younger i dreamt of working with disabled people. i burnt too quick and now im a shell of what i was#but this is the only thing im trained for that would allow me to like. keep my home#maybe if or when i move to brisbane i can look into a different job. do an it course idk. something where there's less people skills needed#i better try to get some sleep orz tonights gonna be a bitch of a thing
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specifically looking at the hewitts since granted i know more on the remakes than the others but,
the hewitts only got vague, limited police action looking into them in '03 after erin chops thomas' arm off and gets away. and even though theres' coverage of it and everything, that literally ONLY happens after 4-5 straight years of the hewitts doing what they do, from 69-73 in terms of solely the remake timeline.
that's still a shitton of time to be ACTIVELY killing people to y'know. not fucking die yourselves. then combine that with the sawyers - their additional family members, their own trails of ruthlessness added into the mix, and this entire combined family unit likely has kill counts all around in the hundreds if not even way past that.
but even with the police involvement in the remakes?
its all SO SLOPPY, its hardly conducted with any real CARE about their own well-beings. like??? ya'll went into that house while THOMAS was STILL THERE... didnt even SECURE THE HOUSE.....
and even with the found footage? no arrests, presumably. the remaining hewitts are still at large, thomas is still at large. like... all ya'll did was corral them to their fucking confusing ass tunnel system and made luda (if we count the comics) far more involved and ruthless in the actual killings than she was in the movies lol
and yes technically speaking with charlie's death that could sever the stronghold they've got on the police and sheriffs' around them - but at the same time - how bad would it look of them to SUDDENLY flip a switch and try to unpack the years worth of missing persons, cold cases, murders, kidnappings, break-ins, assaults, etc etc that they swept under the rug? that's WAY too much man power, esp for back then. no one is gonna do that shit.
so. i truly dont think they have much to worry about even in the event of charlie dying - because the fear and influence they've instilled stands for law enforcement to continue to do fuck all - to save and cover their own asses.
#[ ♡ ] ── * the hewitt family. / 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦.#its incredibly tragic because like. its so OBVIOUS something GOD AWFUL happened to this group of kids? theyre literally needing some rough#medical attention yknow. its so fucking clear they went through something BAD. and yet? crickets. theyre shrugged off. dismissed.#given the cold shoulder. told their friend(s) simply ran away. told they mustve been high or on something and cant recall clearly.#even between maria going missing to pre-basement brawl its like. NO ONES taking them seriously. everyone in towns they search in dismiss#them. no ones seen or heard anything. LEO's are just. useless and rude and telling them not to interfere. telling to go home. telling them#to let them handle things when it becomes VERY obvious they just dont give a shit - that theyre avoiding certain locations#like yes i moved maria's timeline of being missing up but like - even while the searches were still considered active? there was barely any#movement or care or concern or manpower that the depts were gathering or investigating. like. how does someone vanish into thin air?#like they tried to imply maria must've - at some point? they were so out of their league so roadblocked so dismissed every step of the way.#maria with the attempt of a search and youre nearly found!!!....and then youre told your friends all left...and they never came remotely#close to where youre kept to find you. lee with sacrificing himself hoping it gives the rest of them a chance to get away - that someone#lives in order to rain down hell on the family in the sense of justice and yet. not a word is said over broadcasts about him - at least#nothing substantial. no search. no missing persons report. nothing. and then danny? my dan the man? the guy with little family ties?#my guy with a strained relationship with his father? whose only friends are again in the situation of 'no one believes us'?#you think theres even a PEEP about him whatsoever? in any capacity? my guy would be lost to the ether - literally. NO ONE but the#friends would ever give a shit if he went missing.
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