#like I feel like since I am so ugly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chubb-e-cheese · 11 months

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#the truth is #I feel ashamed when I find someone to be attractive #like I feel like since I am so ugly #who am I to say whether someone is attractive or not #personal preferences or subjective opinions aside #and that’s also why I can’t talk to ppl about potential crushes bc #I feel like I shouldn’t be allowed to have crushes bc the people I’d be crushing #on would probably be disgusted if they found out #anyway yeah I need therapy lmao #vw

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total-drama-brainrot · 6 months

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Alenoah, where Noah cares about Alejandro, more than Alejandro's family did:

Noah: I will now torture you.

Alejandro: Kinky!~

Noah: I think you are brilliant and beautiful.

Alejandro: Wait!

Noah: You deserve to be cared for and loved, despite your mistakes.

Alejandro: No!

Noah: Your feelings and needs are valid, and deserve to be heard.

Alejandro: I need a safeword! 😳

Real.

#almost went on a whole rant here about how alejandro wouldn't know how to process unconditional care and support--#for himself as a person instead of the praise he receives for his persona/mask/“charming” act #and also how this ties in to him being starved for genuine affection/love which is why it's so ironic shipping him with noah of all people #since noah is not the type to show a lot of affection. at least not publicly- and even when he does it's usually veiled behind a layer of--#sarcasm and/or prickliness. he's like a hedgehog.#but noah WOULD absolutely break out the big guns once he's realised just how fucked up alejandro's home life and subsequent psyche is #“i am going to hurt you emotionally”#“do your best”#“i love and cherish you as a person and expect nothing in return. i care about you and your feelings. you're my top priority.”#cue alejandro ugly crying into a tub of ice cream #noah's trying to comfort him (awkwardly) but it's making it worse because noah caring about him even at his worst is The Issue #alejandro gets to have a breakdown over finally having a healthy relationship. as a treat.#total drama #td alejandro #td noah #alenoah #others' ideas #ophe's ranting in the tags again #replies

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elecmon · 4 months

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Not to completely change the subject but I'm getting the stitches removed from another mole extraction for, haha and get this, get that Womp Womp noise machine ready!!

Potentially mmoooorrreeeeee skin c*ncerrrrrrrrr. Ahahahaaaaaaaahhhh

Anyway getting them cut off in 7ish hours, and to no one's surprised I'm too stressed out to sleep

Got an email earlier today that the results of the testing are in, so at least that can get over with too (originally they had said it was gonna be a 12~14 day wait, but the stitches would be removed in 10 days)

#i am going in.. optimistic about this one;;;#the mole they removed ive literally had since birth it's not new its just a big ugly birth mark #i told him that but the guy was legit losing his mind saying it looked really bad + the shape was bad + the size was bad + the color was ba #FIRST OF ALL DO U KNOW HOW SHITTY THAT FEELS HAVING SOMEONE STARE U DOWN IN UNDERWEAR JUST SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT U LOOKS SO INCREDIBLY BAD #LIKE GIRL LMAOOOOO 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#i laugh cos if i dont ill start ripping my hair out!!!!!!!#ANYWAY yea im choosing to stay optimistic about this one😭😭😭#lizmet

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henrybelly · 1 year

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honestly when i tried to figure out why some fans are so mad at ivypool these days i was looking through avos and. the scene where ivypool apologises to twigpaw for not supporting sending a patrol for skyclan is genuinely very sweet??

i actually saw someone characterize this as "ivypool forcing twigpaw to forgive her". is it crack you smoke. is that what you smoke. you smoke crack?

#she apologises THREE SEPARATE TIMES #she acknowledges that dovewing and tigerheart's situation made her ignore twigpaw's feelings #she reassures twigpaw that this is the right thing for the clans. she tells her she's proud of her & tc is lucky to have her #you guys do understand that to apologise you have to Do Something Wrong?? or is that the part that's so unforgivable?#i am fASCINATED by the treatment of dove and ivy by the fans in recent years #i'm still pondering it but i think there are a few root causes #1) I think a lot of people read oots as kids and hated dove & identified with ivy because of the underdog storyline #maybe this fandom worship of dovewing is kinda part of that? wanting to feel like you've grown out of fandom misogyny?#but i also feel like 2) tigerdove has really increased dovewing's popularity #and i think because ivypool is so staunchly opposed to their relationship people then have to villainise ivypool #3) is maybe too spicy of a take but to be honest #i think people are subconsciously way more comfortable with a woman whose story ends in heterosexual marriage and childrearing #dovewing's mom role in TBC to shadowsight probably helped her popularity #so ivypool whose relationship w Fernsong & her kits is much less of a focus. and is mUCH less maternal #and who still exhibits Ugly Female Emotions like anger and hurt #and who God Forbid now holds a position of authority...#is too complicated to fit into :) she's such a good mom :) she's such a good mate #dovewing is easier to like because she tends to be a victim of circumstances (🤫 and often lacks agency in her storylines)#since ivypool regularly uses her agency to Fuck Up #fans revert to idealising dovewing because not only is she too good to do bad things. she also doesn't do Things in general #never mind that ivypool is the one who sacrifices and apologises #anyway <3 i think if i made a full analysis of ivy and dove post OOTS i would get too many spicy anons so i will cower in the tags

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essenceofarda · 4 months

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ahhh the urge to compliment someone's appearance bc they're cute (and like, not even in a flirty/romantic way, just a casual nice, platonic compliment) but you're queer, so you're worried about coming across accidentally predatorial somehow to the person's pov so you end up not saying anything at all 😭

#me rn 😭😔#also I feel like when this phenomenon is especially hard when you're queer AND unattractive bc then it seems like...#even LESS forgivable if they did take offence???#especially since i'm ugly... who am I to tell a pretty person they're cute LOL 😭😔#and obviously this is all in my head bc i barely know the person #they just posted a selfie and it was the first time I'd seen what they look like #and I wanted to say they're cute #(just like the rest of the comments on the selfie)#but i feel... awkward... so I guess i'm not commenting at all #delete later

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randomshitwithwinter · 6 months

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im fucking desperate here, but im not desperate enough to go on reddit somone plz say something nice abt my appearance plz?

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running-in-the-dark · 9 months

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there's no rage like the rage I feel when I'm working on a painting and it looks like shit.

#like ughhjhjjh it makes me so mad!!! it's so ugly!#I hate painting I hate colours I hate everything about this!!! *keeps doing it for 5 more hours anyway*#I'm not good at this and it makes me so mad but also I need to do it and it's the only thing that makes sense #ugh #and like it's just. so much worse when it's a portrait! it feels gross! what am I doing?! no he doesn't look like that! he's pretty and this #just looks like some kind of demon 😩 it's so ugly oh my god #maybe I need to keep painting just other things. like those damn hands. they also look horrible but it doesn't make me want to punch myself #quite as much.#maybe I should like. read a book. about how to. paint.#since I don't know shit.#maybe that's the problem #no no I'm the problem it's fine #personal

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helianskies · 5 months

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ugly maths.

i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.

thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!

you... wanna see?

okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!

ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!

huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—

better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—

mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?

here, i can make it worse.

these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.

now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.

why ugly?

because it makes me ugly.

those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.

87, 75.

the thoughts are as follows:

• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.

• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.

• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!

okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:

that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.

4, 708.

ugly maths.

the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!

27.

mmmm.

6161, 1061.

5100.

87, 75.

12.

mmmm.

you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(

it made me :)

well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.

they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.

1.

have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?

i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.

oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.

ready?

838, 245.

(want a hint? the green numbers!)

838, 87. 245, 75.

9.6, 3.3.

ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!

the numbers make me ask new questions:

• why is it not good enough?

• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?

• is all this maths this really good for you?

no, it isn't.

i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.

ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.

ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.

i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.

#helia rants #cw vent #i'm okay but i'm not #this has been playing on my mind over the last couple of weeks #it's aimed at the sky rather than anyone here #i know i'm not the best myself as commenting. i justify it to myself by affirming i don't read much. which i don't.#since the start of the year i have tried to comment on everything i have read #bearing in mind i may also dm someone rather than comment because i want to scream and ramble about their fic more personally #that being said. i know i'm not the only one who finds themselves doing ugly maths #and in turn starting to feel uglier too #i don't like looking at the numbers #i was doing well at the start of the year #but as i open my drafts and look to a new chapter and at the notes i wrote #i can't stop myself from opening the fic. from seeing where it's at. from seeing if it's changed. from checking my inbox to see if...#if only...#what it's meant is that i've come to a point where a fic i loved has become exactly that: a fic i loved. past tense #the other fic is still a fic i love. but i know deep down that that is tied to the numbers too #i hate that this is what i've become #because i have tiny fics. fics with 50 hits and maybe 1 comment. and i love them. i still love them #but when it comes to the big ones. the multi-chapters. the hefty fics. after a point all i see are numbers #and those numbers have come to determine both my happiness and fulfilment as a writer #and so i am ugly. i am sad. i am pathetic.#and i don't know how to stop.#helia's stuff #this was meant to save back into my drafts. i was editing tags. tumblr decided it should post. so... so be it.#also this is not an attention thing if anyone dares go 'oh but you're a good writer uwu' i might do something we'll all regret #this is also not a 'ffs comment on my fics will you 😒' hell no #it's just about me. and my issue. and my unhealthy relationship with these fucking numbers.#gotta get this shit out of my head somehow :)

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luvrbunni · 9 months

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ik ive not been active at all anyways sort of explanation/me complaining in tags

#i have gotten progressively worse lately in terms of physical health and its just taken a lot out of me tbh #over the past few months ive developed chronic pain and fatigue drs still arent sure if its fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue but whatev #in any case ive been in tremendous pain everywhere it's not been fun at all #i also have this new thing where i get a tremor if i hold things too hard and while it is relatively painless it still is making life harde #esp since i am an art student so im kind of stuck not rly knowing what to do atp #ive just not been in the best mindset and while i recognise that disability is not ugly in any way i do just feel harder to love now #like i dont think my personality is fun enough to make up for all this idk if that makes any real sense #ive also been temporarily put on birth control its a long story but it's only until i get scheduled for a minor surgery most probably #but yanno birth control has unfun side effects and i feel like im going crazy most days #ik this all probably sounds pretty silly but idk. its been hard to feel genuinely attractive lately.#forgot to add this but there was some other stuff that happened thats definitely effecting just my self image and libido and stuff lately #long story short someone i trusted ended up crossing multiple physical boundaries and passed uncomfortable comments abt me and similar shit #its not been fun to deal with in any way yk?

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camellcat · 9 months

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CLARA PLEASE PLEASE CLARA NO NOT YOU NOT YET NOT NOW OH MY CLARA WHY PLEASE NO PLEASE

#I'm ugly sobbing at 6 in the morning over this #I was RIGHT to keep putting this off I was RIGHT to be afraid #I have not been this attached to a companion since rose #not even the ponds as much as I loved them #I knew I was gonna be distraught but. oh god. I thought the rocky start I had with her would've softened the blow #it didn't. it's not #sorry that clara doesn't get an full fuckin novel over her leaving like rose and amy did I don't have it in me #I'm genuinely so upset right now #clara oswin oswald I love u I love u foreva #let me be brave #be a little proud of me #FUCK!!!!!!!#I can't fucking take it man I can't oh I can't oh #I do not know when I am going to finish the last two episodes #oh. oh. my clara #I feel physically ill over this I love her so much #clara oswald #doctor who

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sillylittleenby · 8 months

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#some dude said he uninvited me to a party cause he thought I was so unattractive no one would even talk to me #literally what he said #first off we've confirmed he's a transphobe so like on one hand whatever #on the other hand its been a while since ive faced such blatant transphobia #i bruised his ego too so his public pity about how ugly i am doesn't even hold up #but i think theres also no point in hiding the fact that it did manage to hurt my feelings #idk #personal #vent

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xoxoemynn · 1 year

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The progression of targeted ads is wild.

I am (still) planning to paint my office and I think I landed on a color, but then I remembered I have this ugly radiator there and maybe I should paint that too while I'm at it.

So obviously first all my ads on social media were paint. Fine, I expected that. Don't even hate it because that's how I found the paint color in the first place.

Then it was these like...radiator covers? So I could just plop one over the ugly radiator and not have to deal with painting it? I mean I'll admit, I'm kind of dreading the thought of painting a radiator so they did tempt my lazy ass.

Then today I just got these trendy radiators that apparently can come in any color you can imagine.

My little FBI agent just keeps upping my home renovation project and I just need it to CHILL. Truly unless you are financing this project, please just back off and get back to showing me paint samples jfc.

#anyway yes I know it's been six months since I said I was going to paint my office #but I really am closer than ever!!!#that said I decided to paint my dining room first jlaksjdad #which is prob the room I'm in the least BUT I look at it a lot #and I've never painted a room before and the way the dining room is set up #I think it would be a lot easier than my office and doesn't have a weird ugly radiator to work around #so I feel like it would be a good starter paint job #it's a PROCESS ok?! don't @ me

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mrfoox · 2 years

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The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers

#miranda talking shit #I cant say id be having a good and normal life if i wasnt abused as a young child but im 90% sure I'd not have this must trouble #Id still have my autistic and add problems but my anxiety and depression would definitely be a lot better #Its... Insane. That my older brothers probably have no idea how much they have actually ruined my life/mental state from such an earlh age #As 4 yrs old... Hell they might not even remember it or even think it was a 'big deal'. I know my second oldest brother probably falls into #The latter. I know now that they both most likely have undiagnosed adhd/autism and they used me as a way to act out/feel better #But being told youre stupid. Fat. Ugly. Useless from the age of 4 like... I cant stress how much it have ruined my self image #Ive tried to build confidence in myself and love myself since my teens and i can barely say im 'avarge' without doubting it #Like they also hit me but that's nothing compared to the mental torture i had to go through on an almost daily basis #Funniest thing is that bc it happened/started when i was so young i didnt think it was... Bad or weird or abnormal.#I started crying when my parents told me to go tell my brothers it was dinner time. I was terrified of knocking on their doors #I still to this day 20 years later am still incredibly uncomfortable and anxious talking with them and i havent been able to make much of #An relationship with them bc of it. Im scared to say anything to them even if its simple shit. And men/boys in general ive thus been #Terrified of since i was young. Once again i thought it was normal to mistrust and be scared of men until i was in my teens #I wish i could hate them i wish i could be angry i wish i had someone to blame #But no my brain is too nice and give excuses to them. Their actions are excused. They have ruined me mentally but thats not their fault #Fuck that might be true but they were still 6 and 11 years older than me. I didnt have a chance to protect myself in any way #I wish someone saw i wasnt okay. I wish someone understood that i wasnt well. I wish someone saw me.#Negative #Abuse

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mainfaggot · 8 months

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I feel like a hot mess

#i just spent the last 50 minutes cringe failing #walked to a new uni building. wrong floor #got to the right floor. found out it was restricted to students of the faculty of law only #the law students get to study in. such a pretty library while the rest of us have to sit in buildings that havent been renovated since 1983 #my uni fucking sucks everything is so far apart and the interior is ass .#I NEED PRETTY PLACES TO SIT OR ELSE ILL GET WORSE MENTALLY LIKE IT'S THAT SERIOUS OKAY #how am i supposed to feel like. at least partially functional if the inside of my mind is all existential dread suicidal agony and then #outside the weathrr is fucking disgusting and the study spaces are ugly and falling apart #anyway. sighs #z.post

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derpinette · 7 months

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whenever a guy approaches me i start wishing i had a giant forehead tattoo that reads "I AM NOT & WILL NEVER EVER BE INTERESTED LEAVE ME ALONE PERMANENTLY" so i could flash it at them

#you know since i have bangs #just leave me alone freakazoid LEAVE ME ALOOOONEEEEE #they always say i seem scared Hm probably because i am now PISS OFF #guy two days ago ( skipping today & had a free day yesterday ) entered the same class as me & tried to chat me up #did not look back at him or bother to remember his name but i shook his hand:-/ i feel compelled to not leave people hanging #felt like self immolating after He was like are you always this stiff & quiet you seem scared do you have problems #yes i do & that problem is you FUCK OFF & now he knows my name & face but IDK his i am so goddamn retarded #i just kept answering in shrugs & IDKs but what i should have done is use my FFP ( Foreigner Face Privilege ) & pretend not to understand #but since i am an english major he would have just switched to bothering me in english UGHHH WHY CAN I NOT SAY NO #i feel really disgusted with myself RN #skipped today because i am too freaked out about everything trying to come down from heart palpitations i really hate when this happens #i always feel too anxious to go after i wish i lived in a female only world but also i feel really ugly lately too #which means it should be illegal for me to go outside #also i missed my bus right by like 5 seconds the moment i was about to cross the road it flashed away so...#i took it as a sign to not go ( after waiting for ~15+ minutes... sorry i am a quitter but not that fast )

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widevibratobitch · 10 months

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#me: i wear makeup for fun teehee #also me when i go out in public without makeup: everyone hates me and i should kms #anyway. yeah. funny. i just feel like i dont deserve to live and take up public space if i dont make an effort to conform even a little #but then again its not like i actually do my make up to be 'pretty'. i just like to make sure that there's enough #colourful glittery bullshit on my face to distract everyone who looks at me from the fact that im fucking ugly as shit lol #but i also genuinely do have fun doing it and i like looking Extra #idk maybe i wouldnt be having these issues if i had a more conventionally attractive face. but i fucking hate everything about it #and wish i could just claw it all off and start anew. and get a new skull too. one that doesnt have the bone structure of a fucking ball #idk i just feel like it's so fucking unfair that i look like THIS #and also simultaneously won the FUCKING OBSESSED WITH HOW I LOOK AND AM PERCEIVED trait in the great lottery of Things Wrong With You #i wish i could just not care.#but then again idk maybe it makes sense. maybe id be a much worse person if i were pretty since i wouldn't feel like i need to be #on my best behaviour 24/7 and must constantly Make Up For It to others so that i am Allowed to idk have basic human rights ig #anyway. bitches be like 'i hate plastic surgeries'. 10 minutes later 'i must get a nose job or ill kms'

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