#I was RIGHT to keep putting this off I was RIGHT to be afraid
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paparazzi catches actress!reader’s baby bump
masterlist | actress!reader masterlist
this is based off an ask that i thought was just too cute to pass up and takes place in the distant future lol. as far as fics go, this is probably the farthest i will write in the realm of pregnancy, ie i wont write about babies and stuff. warnings for pregnancy + nausea/vomiting
Y/n was beginning to feel cooped up, growing tired of staying in Drew and hers’ home. It wasn’t that she hated her company (Drew and Charleston), it was more that she was starting to get annoyed by the monotonous alternation between watching tv, reading over scripts, and scrolling through her phone. Maybe it was just pregnancy hormones, maybe it was just good old boredom. Either way, she needed to get out.
The first trimester of her pregnancy had been rough, y/n often waking up to waves of nausea that stranded her in the bathroom for hours, huddled over the toilet. The process of pregnancy was already stressful within itself, and adding the public’s opinions would only make it harder, so Drew and y/n decided to keep it between themselves for as long as possible. Once y/n was far enough along, they started telling their friends and family, the love reserved for their child that had previously been kept between just the two of them growing each and every day.
“Drew!” Y/n shouted as she stood from her spot on the couch with a groan. Drew came into the room quickly, a worried look on his face as he quickly looked her up and down. Now that she was well into her second semester, y/n’s bump had really begun to grow, making it a bit more difficult to hide with the baggy clothes she’d worn during the earliest stages of her pregnancy.
“What? Are you ok?” Drew quickly came to her side, a hand resting on her stomach. As much as she loved Drew, she had to admit that her pregnancy had turned him into even worse of a nervous wreck than he had been before. Every movement or sound that could even be construed as “weird” had Drew checking on her, a gentle hand roaming to her growing stomach.
“Yes,” y/n giggled as she tugged her cropped t-shirt down. “I’m gonna take Charleston out on a walk and stop at Claire’s.”
“Oh, just give me a second—” Drew scrambled back into their bedroom as y/n tugged on a light jacket, checking in the mirror that her exposed stomach was adequately covered despite the warmth outside.
“I’m fine, I can go by myself.” Y/n sighed, tugging on a baseball cap and grabbing Charleston’s leash, the dog excitedly trotting around her legs.
“Nope, I’m coming with you.” Drew emerged from the bedroom, taking Charleston's leash and pressing a quick kiss to y/n’s before reaching down to help her put on her shoes.
“Drew, I can do things by myself.” Y/n said, placing her hands on her hips as Drew tied her tennis shoes.
“I know. I’m just tryna treat my girls right.” Drew grinned, pressing a quick kiss to her growing bump before straightening up.
“You’re so convinced they’re gonna be a girl.” Y/n laughed lightly as Drew opened the front door, Charleston quickly jumping outside into the Carolina sun. Y/n stepped out next, Drew locking the door behind them as y/n stretched her legs with a groan, trying her best to minimize her pregnancy waddling as they began down the sidewalk.
The two of them walked side by side, Charleston trotting in front of them as they chatted. Once they reached down town, the streets grew more busy, filled with tourists and locals milling between the shops. Every so often they’d hear a giggle or see a wave, a fan noticing them but too afraid to approach, before carrying on with their walk. They continued down the sidewalk until they finally reached Claire’s, the two of them walking up to the window.
“Hey guys, long time no see!” The barista greeted, taking their orders and chatting with them as they waited. As they stood, y/n could feel herself growing warm from the unrelenting Carolina sun. Too engrossed in her conversation with Drew and the barista, as well as Charleston’s milling about, y/n didn’t even think anything as she unzipped the front of her jacket, the loose fabric billowing in the soft breeze. The fans who had been waiting in line behind them, however, let out small, shocked gasps before speaking excitedly to each other. Y/n turned at the noise, smiling lightly before turning back to Drew, who handed her her drink.
“Thank you so much, have a good rest of your day.” Y/n thanked the barista, Drew grabbing his drink. Y/n took a sip, a satisfied groan leaving her lips that caused the two of them to start laughing, Drew’s hand finding its spot around her waist. His fingers instantly met the warmth of her skin, Drew’s eyes widening as he looked down to see her exposed stomach. Y/n followed suit, looking down before hastily wrapping her jacket tightly around her body, only making her bump more prominent through the thin fabric.
“Shit, I wasn’t even thinking! I was hot and—” Y/n groaned, chewing at her lip as she looked around frantically, praying nobody had noticed.
“Hey, hey it’s ok.” Drew said, his hand soothing gently down her side before handing her his coffee. She took it, sighing deeply as he quickly reached down and zipped her jacket back up.
“No it isn’t! We were going to make this a whole reveal, surprise thing and I just fucking ruined it! Those girls in line definitely saw and—” y/n rambled, running her free hand through her hair messily.
“Hey, look at me.” Drew said, stopping the two of them in their tracks as he pulled her off to the side of the sidewalk. Charleston looked up between them curiously as y/n felt tears beginning to sting at her eyes, her mind racing at a million miles a minute.
“It’s ok, a’ight? I don’t care about that, I just care that you’re ok and that baby’s ok.” Drew whispered, his hands smoothing down her arms.
“Are you ok?” Drew asked.
“Yes, but—-” y/n sighed.
“Is baby ok?” Drew said, his hands moving to rest on the sides of her stomach. Y/n looked at him, a small smile on her face.
“Yes.” Y/n nodded. Drew grinned, pressing a kiss to the top of her face before pulling her into his side.
“That’s all we need to worry about, ok baby?” Drew said, his words helping to calm down y/n’s pounding heart. She was ok, the baby was ok. That was all that mattered, not the whispers online or judgement of others.
“Thanks, Drew.” Y/n sighed, resting her head on Drew’s shoulder. He pressed one more kiss to her head before they continued their walk home, the secret they had been keeping now seeming to weigh a little less with each step.
Once they finally made it back to their house, y/n sat back down on the couch with a groan, her feet aching from all the walking and standing. Drew sat down next to her, taking her feet into his lap as he began to rub them gently. Y/n smiled, taking her phone out to countless notifications from friends, family, and her team on just about every possible platform.
“Well, shit.” Y/n sighed, opening one of the notifications and showing it to Drew.
Drew looked at her phone, nodding slowly before his eyes flicked back to y/n’s.
“At least you look hot in it.” Drew said with a shrug before returning his focus back to where he massaged y/n’s feet. Y/n laughed, kicking his leg lightly.
“Well at least I don’t have to worry about dressing like Adam Sandler to get coffee anymore.” Y/n grinned, Drew lifting his head and smiling back at her.
Later that afternoon, after talking with their publicists, the two of them decided it was finally time to make things official. With a final deep breath, they hit post:
#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x actress!reader#actress!reader#drew starkey x actress!reader social media au#drew starkey social media au#drew starkey x reader social media au
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✞⛧ Texting loser!Ellie ✞⛧
An: I really love these tbh-
1:29 am
Ellie: Hey, uh… you busy?
You: Not really. Why?
Ellie: Oh, uh, no reason. Just… thinking about you. Like, not in a weird way. Or maybe a little weird? But not creepy weird. Just normal weird. You know what I mean?
You: Ellie, breathe. What’s on your mind?
Ellie: Okay, so, like… you know how I said I wasn’t gonna be all clingy? Yeah, I lied. I miss you. A lot. It’s pathetic. Please don’t make fun of me.
You: Aw, you’re cute. I miss you too. What are you doing right now?
Ellie: Thinking about your thighs. Uh—I MEAN. Playing guitar. Totally just playing guitar. Haha.
You: Ellie… are you serious right now?
Ellie: My brain is broken. Ignore me.
You: Nope. Too late. So, what exactly are you thinking about my thighs?
Ellie: STOP. I can’t handle this kind of pressure. I’m already sweating.
You: Sounds like a “you” problem. But I kinda like knowing you’re flustered over me.
Ellie: Oh, I’m beyond flustered. I’m like… short-circuiting. Can you just, like, show up at my place and sit on my face so I stop embarrassing myself?
You: Bold of you to assume I’d let you off the hook that easily.
Ellie: PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU. I’ll do anything. Wash your car? Carry your groceries? Worship the ground you walk on? Actually, I already do that
You: Yeah, I know you do. Loser.
Ellie: Rude, but accurate. Anyway, I gotta go. Gonna play guitar and pretend I didn’t just admit that I’m obsessed with you.
You: Obsessed, huh? Good to know. Maybe I’ll reward you later
Ellie: DON’T TEASE ME LIKE THAT. My heart can’t handle it.
You: Guess you’ll have to wait and find out. Bye, loser.
Ellie: I love you, okay? I LOVE YOU. There, I said it. Bye.
•|||——————————————————————|||•
2:20 pm
Ellie: Hey, so, uh… question.
You: Here we go. What’s up?
Ellie: Hypothetically… if I were to, like, write a song about you, would you think that’s cool or kinda cringe?
You: Depends. How many times does the word “thighs” show up in the lyrics?
Ellie: Why are you like this? I’m trying to be romantic, and you’re bullying me.
You: Oh, I’m the bully? Says the girl who stared at me for five minutes straight last night and then said, “Sorry, you’re just really distracting.”
Ellie: IT WAS A COMPLIMENT. Also, you were wearing those shorts. What was I supposed to do?
You: Be normal?
Ellie: Impossible. I saw your legs and forgot how to act. You’re lucky I didn’t pass out.
You: Wow, I’m flattered. So where’s this hypothetical song?
Ellie: …It’s not done yet. But I might’ve rhymed “perfect” with “I’m not worth it.” Thoughts?
You: Ellie, you’re such a loser, but I love you.
Ellie: Yeah? Say it again. Slowly this time.
You: Nice try. Not happening.
Ellie: Fine. Guess I’ll just sit here and suffer in silence, replaying it in my head.
•|||——————————————————————|||•
12:30 am
Ellie: Hey.
You: Hi. What now?
Ellie: What do you think it would take to convince you to marry me? Like, is there a specific snack you like? Or should I just propose while holding your dog hostage?
You: Ellie, we’ve been dating for three months.
Ellie: Okay, but, counterpoint: you’re perfect, and I don’t want to wait. I’d propose tomorrow if I wasn’t afraid of passing out mid-speech.
You: Big words for someone who forgets to text back for three days.
Ellie: HEY. That’s a creative process issue, not a love issue.
You: So what I’m hearing is… you’re madly in love with me and bad at time management.
Ellie: Exactly. See? You get me.
•|||——————————————————————|||•
3:30 pm
Ellie: Okay, I’m officially spiraling. Can I just tell you something without you making fun of me?
You: No promises. Go on.
Ellie: Sometimes I sit around and think about how lucky I am that you actually like me. Like, I’m a disaster, and you’re… you’re you. It doesn’t make sense, but I’m not questioning it. I just—thank you for putting up with me.
You: Ellie, you’re my favorite disaster. And if you keep being cute, I might actually have to show up at your place and kiss you right now.
Ellie: DO IT. PLEASE. I’LL PAY FOR YOUR GAS. I’LL—
You: Relax, loser. I’m already outside.
Ellie: Wait, what?! Hold on, I gotta brush my hair—
You: Too late. I’m coming in.
•|||——————————————————————|||•
10:30 am
Ellie: Hey.
You: Hi, Ellie. What’s up?
Ellie: Can I say something without you laughing at me?
You: You’ve already asked this today, and it was hilarious. Go ahead.
Ellie: Okay, so like… I’m trying really hard not to think about the way your ass looked in those jeans earlier.
You: Ellie.
Ellie: What? I’m being honest. It’s a problem. I almost walked into a pole because of you.
You: It’s not my fault you have no self-control.
Ellie: Self-control? With you? Yeah, right. You literally walked by me, and I stopped functioning.
You: Good to know I have that effect on you.
Ellie: Oh, you know. You definitely know. You’re evil for it, by the way.
•|||——————————————————————|||•
4:40 pm
Ellie: Hey. Are you busy?
You: Not really. Why?
Ellie: Because I was thinking… you should come over. Like, now.
You:Why?
Ellie: Because I miss you. And because I really need to kiss you. Maybe more than kiss you. But, uh… yeah.
You: You’re bold today.
Ellie: You’re hot every day, so I figured I’d stop pretending to be cool about it.
You: Ellie, you’re such a dork.
Ellie: Okay, but I’m YOUR dork. Come over so I can prove it.
•|||——————————————————————|||•
2:28 pm
Ellie: I just saw your Instagram story. I’m losing my mind over here.
You: Why? It’s just a selfie.
Ellie: Just a selfie?? You looked so good, I almost dropped my guitar. What are you trying to do to me?
You: Ellie, calm down.
Ellie: Calm down? You’re out here looking like THAT, and I’m supposed to act normal? No chance.
You: So dramatic.
Ellie: You think it’s funny, but I’m literally sitting here like, “Wow, that’s my girlfriend. I’m the luckiest loser alive.”
•|||——————————————————————|||•
9:34 pm
Ellie: I can’t stop thinking about you.
You: What else is new?
Ellie: No, but like… it’s bad. I’m at the store, and everything reminds me of you. I saw strawberries and thought about how you taste like them when you wear that lip gloss. It’s driving me insane.
You: Ellie, get it together.
Ellie: Can’t. Don’t wanna. I’d rather think about you.
You: You’re so thirsty.
Ellie: Yeah, for YOU. And I’m not sorry about it.
You: You’re ridiculous.
Ellie: But you love it. And you love me. Soooo… can I come over?
You: You’re lucky I love you.
Ellie: I know. Be ready when I get there.
#ellie tlou#sub ellie williams#ellie x you#loser ellie#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x y/n#the last of us x you#the last of us x reader#the last of us
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Right, so…you’re transported to a new world, and me being the science geek I am, I can’t help but think of all the bacteria you wouldn’t be accustomed to in Twisted Wonderland…so imagine how bad flu season would be, or just the spreading of sicknesses around the school in general
You better have a good immune system cause oml would it be put into overdrive. Anyways…here’s my twist on what the Diasomnia boys would do in order to be helpful in your recovery ❤️🩹
Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia
Warnings!:
Sickness, obviously
Mentions of vomiting, snot, etc
To start us off…
It’s flu season in Twisted Wonderland, well you call it the flu, they call it something else you don’t even bother to learn. With you’re immune so shot and not used to the illnesses that spread around, getting sick more often that you honestly should, you woke up with a headache. Ok…nothing too serious, but you thought it to be a good idea to just take some ibuprofen equivalent in their world and “thug it out,” which ultimately lead to your current situation. Currently, you’re in the infirmary, having passed out from a raging fever and a disgustingly congested respiratory system during PE and you’re bed ridden back at ramshackle, at least until your fever goes down. Sevens bless Grim and the ghosts as they try and get you things to feel better, but you need some sort of intervention, and here comes you’re favorite person at the right time. How do they help you out?
Malleus 🐉:
For one, he’s surprised you called upon him of all people, but hey, he’s not complaining. He’s been training for this day somewhat because Gao-Gao Drakon-kun has taught him how to take care of things and keep them alive, though, granted it’s a lot different in this case…but he can get an A for effort, at least. The thought that counts
He’ll sit by your side and ask you what exactly are your ailments, how he can help, all just to gauge what he should do…your very different from a tamagotchi—
Pillows, blankets, anything else? He’ll magic it right your way, probably casting some spell on it, possibly a relaxation one, which would be nice for your predicament
Of course he’ll also have food covered as well, what do you want? Eat it or don’t depending on how you feel, he won’t be mad at all, he’ll just be confused as to why you won’t eat, he's pretty sure humans need to eat to get better quickly, but he won’t pry
He’ll scoff at the medicines your assigned to take and he’ll go make you ancient and passed down remedies from Briar Valley, claiming they work better…and awkwardly enough they do perform a lot better than what you were taking before, so that’s a win because maybe you’ll get better even faster
He’ll let his magic do the work for cleaning.
He’s also not afraid to get sick, he’ll sit with you, he’s more than happy to. No being grossed out here, if anything, it’s quite peculiar how differently illnesses affect humans
He’ll be smug about taking care of you. This is the first time he's done this for a friend, especially as one as good as you.
Lilia 🧚♀️:
Bros gonna fuck around with you as soon as he sees you, sorry. But yet again, he does have that paternal side to him, and you just look so…helpless, and he’s not cold hearted, so of course he’ll stay and take care of you
Don’t let him cook, don’t if you wanna live!
If you refuse to eat what he makes you he’ll start getting snippy and uncharacteristically strict, saying how you need to eat to keep up your energy so your body can fight away this illness. Just keep refusing his food, if you’re not hungry then that should be fine and rather easy, but if you are, have him go buy you a little snack. Better than you not eating at all he’ll finally conclude to
He’s also a little iffy with the medicines, again with the cooking, he'll try to make a medicinal item out of herbs and stuff…probably toxic instead of the intended purpose, so don’t take it, trust me. “Oh? My, my…I didn’t realize it would turn out to be a poison! Silly me. Good thing you didn’t have any beastie.” he will laugh it off.
But, he’d still give you the medicines you need, don’t worry. He’s serious when he needs to be, and you’re recovery is important to him right now
He’ll mess around with Grim and the ghosts as you lie in bed, having a little fun himself, but if you need anything, he’ll change up quick and be by your side
Blankets, water, pillows, he’s got it under cover
He’s not scared to get sick himself so he’ll stay close to your side, most likely gently cooing at you and relishing in how you’re just so cute like this
Be warned he will randomly disappear at times, but if you call him he’ll pop up in front of you, upside down as usual. But, he’ll make sure Ramshackle is quiet while you rest, don’t worry
Silver ⚔️:
He’s honored to help you out, so he’ll do so without complaint
When it comes to those he holds dear, he’ll become more protective and do what he can to help them, and you just so happen to be in that group of people, and especially with your state, you’ll be pampered. Since Silver is tasked with watching over Malleus, he’ll do the same for you
What do you need? Well, he’s already on it, actually, so don’t worry.
Food he has under control definitely, man has to save himself from Lilia’s cooking all the time and he’s learned from a young age, so whatever you want he’ll conjure up real quick. Eat it or don’t, if you’re not hungry he’ll understand and save it for later
Do be patient with him, however, he has his sleepy spells and make sure Grim is with Silver if he’s cooking at that moment, though trusting Grim to take over if Silver does fall asleep isn’t really a great option, either-
Oh! He’s awake again, ok, medications, yea, right. If he doesn’t forget to give them to you after he falls asleep, then you’ll be fine. If he does forget, remind him, he’ll apologize and be right on it
When he’s not tending to you he’ll do stuff around Ramshackle, his pet peeve is idleness, so…
He’ll clean up and make sure the rest of the inhabitants are ok
After that, he’ll go back to your room and sit in the armchair, he’s not afraid to get sick, and he’ll doze off along with you
Sebek ⚡️:
Well…he’s going to chastise you severely while he helps you. He’ll say he’s only doing it because you’re Wakasama’s good friend, and that’s the only reason why, not that he’s actually doing this because he wants to and he feels bad, no, definitely not that. “Human! I shall only provide assistance on Wakasama’s behalf!”
He’ll belittle you every time he speaks, and if you have a headache already, just get good at ignoring him yap
Again just like with Silver, his duty is to watch over Malleus, so he’ll evidently do the same with you in a sense since that’s what he’s learned. He'll wait in your room, sitting in the arm chair, most likely reading.
He’s learned to cook well enough for himself, obviously, due to Lilia’s cooking, so he’ll provide you with more nutrient dense meals if you ask him to. He won’t do it unless you ask, he doesn’t wasn’t to assume
Sebek will make sure you take your medications religiously until you're better, it’s your duty, and he always follows his duties, you should, too.
He’ll clean up here and there, make sure Grim and the ghosts are in line, and he’ll grab you anything else you could possibly want, again, not without some complaint. “Humans are weak creatures!” He doesn’t really mean it in a mean way…he’s just being honest 🤷♀️
He’ll try and be quiet while you sleep, but forgive him if he yells at Grim at all and wakes you up-
Afterwards he’ll probably get sick himself, feel free to make fun of him then, KARMA
IM DONEEEE! Sorry I took my sweet ass time with Diasomnia, oh lord…
Also, I realized I made each one progressively longer for each character as I progressed through the dorms, so…whoops 🧍♀️(I yap too fucking much-)
But hey, now I can start on a new series, just gotta come up with one- or, someone could suggest one if anyone has any ideas!
Btw, requests and asks are open!!! ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ
Master list
Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!
Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)
#twisted wonderland#diasomnia#diasomnia x reader#malleus draconia#malleus x reader#twst malleus#lilia vanrouge#lilia x reader#twst lilia#silver vanrouge#silver x reader#twst silver#sebek zigvolt#sebek x reader#twst sebek#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#cute#comfort#sickness#feel better#get better#<3#fluff#headcanon
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Calypso
pairing: azriel x reader
warnings: swearing, angst, possible typos, violence
[ part 1 ]
—
Your family was hovering.
Exchanging worried looks amongst eachother as they partook in a mental conversation that you weren’t invited to but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The power inside of you had seemed to be asleep; tucked within the warmth of your vessel as you shuffled closer to Azriel.
His shadows were everywhere, pressing against every inch of available skin not only as a comfort but to shield your state from wandering eyes. Azriel knew his brothers meant no harm but his spine stiffened just a bit more when he’d catch them searching for injuries—as if some sort of explaination would be branded into your flesh.
He understood—really, he did.
Everyone wanted to know how you’d survived.
How you’d been hiding such power away for so long undetected.
But he couldn’t find the courage to ask any questions; too afraid he’d have to come to the horrifying realization that he’d almost lost you.
No. Azriel had lost you and yet some divine intervention had taken place, gifting him a second chance. His stomach plummets at the thought, shadows tightening their grip on you; tugging you in as close as you could get and still it didn’t feel close enough. “I’m right here,” You mutter just loud enough for your voice to break through the noise beginning to grow inside Azriel’s mind. A hand covers his own, a gentle squeeze to reiterate the words spoken but he can’t help but notice how cold your skin is.
You hesitate before crossing Autumn’s border, sparing a glance behind you when the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention, alerting you of a lingering presence. A brow raises, lids narrowing a fraction before the comforting darkness of Azriel’s shadows began to weave its web, calling you back home where you belonged. “I’ll find you,” A voice croons so whisper soft that you struggle to decipher if it was real or just a figment of your imagination. “You have my word.”
Protective instincts force you to answer the voice, nerves still raw from earlier and the rage refused to fully subside. “I’ll kill you. You have my word.”
—
The sterile stench of disinfectant burns. The walls are too white and everyone in it is entirely too quiet as they watch Madja work on you.
Sure hands run over the length of you, her powers searching for something wrong and yet after a thorough assessment—all she can offer the High Lord is, “Physically, she’s perfectly healthy.”
“You’re sure? Beron said that she—“ Rhys pauses briefly, painfully aware of Azriel’s eyes digging craters into the side of his face and he becomes more careful when he speaks. “You’re sure?”
“There’s not a scratch on her.” Madja shifts about the room, putting away equipment and removing sanitary gloves into the waste bin when she continues speaking. “I will say, her body is in a state of fight or flight. It appears as though her gifts are taking on new and unexpected manifestations—it’s morphed into some sort of defense mechanism that surpasses anything I’ve ever seen before. I couldn’t even get a needle to break through to draw her blood.”
You let out a humorless laugh, slouching further into the examination chair. “Seems a little late for that.”
Madja turns to face you, the picture of professionalism when she says your name gently. “How do you feel?”
“I feel…” Like you were still underwater. Like your body was still not your own, tainted by malice and such uncontainable anger. Shaky fingers curl into the fabric of Azriel’s cloak draped over your shoulders—the only anchor that seemed to keep the sensitive magic at bay. “Charged.”
“That’s not necessarily a bad thing. You’ve been through a lot and that could just be a side affect of the adrenaline wearing off.” Madja shifts in place, intentionally ignoring the surveilling eye of your mate tracking her every move—monitoring her every word like his life depended on it. “Can you tell me about what happened? Do you remember anything?”
Azriel bristles when your spine goes ramrod straight, subconsciously tucking the cloak closer to your body. “Nothing’s wrong with my head if that’s what you’re getting at. My memories are intact.”
“That’s good to hear,” Madja nods placatingly, fingers interlocking before her to seem less threatening and more comforting. “I was worried about possible brain damage which is consistent with drowning,” Your jaw clenches, a thick swallow rolling down your throat. “Lung damage as well but your breathing sounded clear and equal and there’s no obvious signs of residual deficits. I’d like to run just a few more tests, if that’s okay?”
A sharp nod of your head is the only answer you provide but when the door opens and one of Madja’s assistants is beckoned to come inside, the entirety of your body language changes.
Azriel feels his own hackles raise as you surveil the newcomer with a hunters eye. “This is August,” Madja introduces swiftly, moving the lean male to the left and its second nature the way he flits about her; retrieving paperwork to neatly arrange back in its folder. “He’s here because I’d like to see if your magic is just blocking me out—or everyone.”
Rhysand shifts in place as he watches you and the way you refuse to answer, utterly fixated on August and the nervous tremble of his fingers when he stands a bit too close. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”
“It’ll be fine,” Madja assures, standing right before you with her hands hovering at both sides of your head. “I have theory, I just need to try something first.” Everything seems to be going just as planned, the familiar push of healing magic creating a gentle pressure at the edges of your consciousness as it seeks out an injury to fix.
It’s almost soothing, enough to have your eyes fluttering shut and the rigid line of your spine starts to relax when a foreign touch is detected.
The reaction is immediate and completely involuntary. Madja is shoved out of your way as a gust of power projects from your form like a wave; providing the room necessary to pounce on August like a leapord who’d been stalking their prey and finally found the right moment. It’s borderline feral the way you snap at him, pinning his arms under your knees to ensure he couldn’t touch.
“Just as I suspected,” Madja doesn’t appear the slightest bit phased, quietly thanking Rhysand for breaking her fall.
Azriel’s reaction is less tame, his features clouded in shadows when he retrieves you, all the fight dissipating the second a fair distance is established. “Are you out of your mind? She could’ve killed him.”
“But, she didn’t,” Madja murmurs, scribbling words on a page while August dusts himself off. There’s no real damage to either of them but the intensity of your retaliation is enough to have Cassian and Rhysand creeping closer cautiously. “I suspect that her magic has gone on the defensive, almost as if it’s its own sentient being protecting its host. She sustained a trauma which pushed it to the forefront of her mind—taking the reins in a sense.” Madja looks up from her notes, curiosity shining in her eye when she examines you from afar. “It’s protecting her from anything it doesn’t deem safe.”
“Anything it doesn’t deem safe?” Cassian repeats, the hairs from his bun falling free and teasing at the stubble of his jaw. “That’s vague.”
“That’s besides the point,” Rhysand quickly averts, only stepping as close to you as Azriel will allow. There’s a softness to his expression, one that appears almost shy when directed your way. “This doesn’t sound anything like the power you’ve showed before. So, I have to ask if something else happened there—in Autumn?”
The examination room reeks of antiseptic but the low hues of the faintly glowing faelight is comforting enough. Either way, you can’t help the way your eyes flick to Madja and August but they too are soon ushered away the moment Azriel notices.
You gulp audibly, fingers fiddling in your lap as the tense posture you previously wore fades altogether. “I wasn’t lying when I said my memory is intact. Completely intact.” A shaky breath is inhaled, toes wiggling in the compression socks Madja had all but forced Azriel to shove on your feet the moment you’d stepped an inch within the doors. “I remember dying. But, I also remember someone else being there, a female who felt me and brought me back.”
“Brought you back how?”
Your eyes lock on your mate; the physical embodiment of strength and that alone encourages you to scrounge up the courage to continue. “She heard me somehow—I was screaming for help and she heard me and right when I thought it was too late, I felt this…surge.”
Rhys’ lids lower into a squint. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, it was just a feeling.” It’s difficult describing the exact sensation that had flowed through you, coating every limb in a caress that wasn’t quite caring. It edged the border of possessive when sealing up your broken pieces. “As if I’d been given more.”
Cassian’s head tilts to the side, arms crossed over his chest while he takes it upon himself to guard the door. “More power?” His brows scrunch in thought. “I guess that could explain what happened once we found you.”
“She did something to me out there,” You confess, staring at your hands as if the answers would somehow be deciphered within the lines of your palms. “My magic feels different inside me—like it’s changed.”
“Show me.” Rhysand demands without question, ignoring the low growl his brother releases, displeasure clear at the tone of his voice.
There’s a pause, slowly bringing your eyes to your High Lord. A shaky breath is released, hands wringing out stress as you lean into the warmth of Azriel behind you. “Respectfully, no.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’d never disobey a direct order so please don’t make me.” The struggle in your words is evident, limbs trembling as you strain to grab ahold of the leash within you. To wrap it around your fist and command the reigns but the leather fits differently than it did before, the aches and pains from such a growth spurt is thoroughly uncomfortable. “The answer is no. I’m not in control.”
Azriel’s gaze snaps down to you with an intensity you’re eager to avoid. “You’re sure?”
You shuffle under all the attention, desperate for a bath and a glass—no, pitcher of wine to drown out the buzzing beneath your skin. It felt too tight over your flesh; stretched thin and rubbed raw as the entity beneath acclimates to its new enclosure.
It makes it hard to breathe properly, each exhale just as sharp as your inhale. “Positive.”
—
The most fascinating thing about trauma, is the way it disperses throughout the body; it lingers in your tissues—saturates your bloodstream until your entire chemical makeup shifts.
It leaves a brand.
One that has your spine stiff with tension at something as normal as Cassian and Rhysand walking behind you. Before, it’d be comforting—their presence straying a few steps behind. But your ears keep fixating on the sound of Cassian’s sword shifting against its leather holster. Heavy boots crushing fallen branches and crispy leaves. Normal, mundane things that now have your heart smacking against your ribcage, palms sweating and instincts on overdrive with nowhere to release the accumulated adrenaline.
Suddenly, you’re grateful that there’s no way to directly winnow back home, greedily sucking up as much fresh air as possible in attempts to soothe the way your belly churns. The anxiety refuses to subside no matter how many calming breaths you take. Your chest begins to heave, the wind whistling white noise against sensitive eardrums and regardless of the steps you count, you remain uncomfortably aware of your stress.
“You okay?” Az prods, voice nothing more than a whisper.
Your grip on his bicep tightens, dread building in your gut with each passing moment until you’re physically unable to move another inch closer to the townhouse. “I can’t go home.” It’s said as more of a confession than anything else, drawing the attention of the two guarding your flank. “It’s not safe.”
Guilt riddles his features for a split second before it’s shadowed by something akin to determination. “I will never let anything happen to you ever again.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.” You swallow thickly, sweat beading at your hairline with the effort it takes to shove that overwhelming power down into its box. Even then the lid refuses to close, the entity within banging against the walls and thrashing its fists for release. “I’m saying, you won’t be safe there with me.”
#acotar x reader#acotar x you#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#azriel#acotar azriel#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel acotar#azriel fanfic#acotar angst
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Honestly at this point, we're all feral cats that came round when you left a plate of food out.... And now we just exist here, constantly begging for more food XD
All almost 1800 of you…
Disaster Hearts Pt 2
Earthspark Starscream x Reader
• “All I said was that his plan was flawed,” he says, and you cling to his servos as he seems to forget he’s holding you and gestures with the hand you’re clutched in. When he’d asked you if you wanted to talk about it, you’d been too stunned to come up with an answer. So, he’d started in on his problems. Well, problem. Megatron, the reformed warlord you’ve seen on the news. Your captor, Starscream as he’d introduced himself, all too eager to have a captive audience to listen to his complaints. “I mean, you can’t solve every problem with brute force. Even you must know that.” And you obediently nod when he looks at you expectantly, because it’s been a couple of hours and you’re pretty sure you’ve heard his entire life story at this point.
• “Right. Of course, not,” you say, little hands shifting on his servos. Squirming and he eases his grip some. “I mean, he made you his second in command for a reason. He obviously needs your advice and then doesn’t bother to listen. Sounds like a terrible leader.” Wings flicking he rolls the wrist of his free hand and huffs through his vents. For a filthy, little organic insect, you’re surprisingly astute.
• “You have no idea,” he growls, opening his hand so you can sit up instead of being trapped in his grip before he reaches to idly tug the bottom hem of your shirt back down with the servos of his other hand. “Not only was he inept and brutal, but he betrayed all of us. Turned his back on everything we’d fought so hard for.” Shifting to tuck your legs under yourself, you make what you hope is a sufficiently commiserating expression. Because you really want to keep on his good side. It’s not like your life is much, but it is yours.
• “That must have been hard on you after all he put you through.” Staring up at him with those wide eyes, he can’t deny your voice is soothing. And it’s not like he has anyone else to vent to. There’s no real cohesion anymore, the Decepticon cause splintering and everyone doing their own thing. Even his fellow Seekers don’t really listen to him. But you do. Reaching a decision, he tucks you close to his chassis.
• “Keep your hands close to your body,” he says and before you can ask what he means by that he transforms around you. And you can’t even manage a scream as you’re jostled and find yourself sitting in the cockpit of a jet. Inside Starscream. Heart hammering, you’re afraid to touch anything or move as you hear his turbines scream and you’re flattened back against his plush seat. Eyes closing, when he takes off, you don’t know what to make of the fact that he’s apparently decided to take you with him when you’d assumed that if you kept him happy, he’d just let you go. Trembling in anxious fear, you hear him start in on Megatron again.
Previous
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Blind - Part 2
♥--------♥--------♥
Part 1
Pairing: Felix x fem!Reader
Other Characters: Jisung mentioned, Minho mentioned
Summary: The morning after.
Genre: fluff, friends to lovers
Content warnings: none, I think?
Word Count: 952
A/N: I couldn‘t not write a part 2 for this. :3
♥--------♥--------♥
Three things were immediately apparent to you when you woke up:
1. Your head was pounding. Whatever alcohol had been in that dammed cocktail - you did not handle the aftermath too well.
2. You were not in your own bed. Because you knew the feel of your own bedsheets. You knew the firmness of your own mattress. This was not it.
3. You were not alone in the bed, judging from the heat that was radiated from beside you.
With a groan, you turned your body to the side and slowly opened your eyes. “Good morning, sunshine.” Felix was lying beside you, facing you with a soft smile. His brown eyes wandered over your face, stopping at your lips for a second, before locking onto yours. “Sleep well?” You groggily looked at him, waiting for your eyes to adjust to the sunlit room.
“I’m in your bed”, you stated instead of answering him. You were not yet awake enough to feel any type of way about that, but saying it out loud made it just a bit more real. “You are”, he said with a soft smile. As your brain caught up with your current situation, your hands nervously started to play with the hem of the shirt you were wearing underneath the blanket. Which was not your own shirt, since you had worn a crop top to the party.
“What am I wearing?”, you asked, barely able to keep eye contact with Felix. “A t-shirt”, he mused. “Whose t-shirt?” He chuckled. “Mine.” „I‘m wearing your t-shirt?“ Felix chuckled. „You‘re really blanking on last night, hm?“ Blood rushed to your cheeks as you tried very hard to remember what had happened.
And it worked. Piece by piece the events of the night came back to you. How you’d fallen right into his arms. How he’d tried to get you to leave but you insisted to thank Ji and Minho. How Felix had to carry you to his car and then to his apartment. How you’d begged him to give you something more comfortable to sleep in and he’d helped you change, because you‘d barely managed to get your top off. How you’d asked him to stay instead of sleeping on the couch.
The more you remembered, the more you pulled the blanket over your head. You let out a sound of frustration and embarrassment, hiding beneath the soft fabric. “Hey, hey”, Felix said, voice low and calm, “don’t hide that pretty face from me.” You could feel your cheeks burning from how flushed they were. “Look at me, sunshine, please.” He gently tugged on your blanked and eventually, you lifted your head to look at him again.
For a moment, you just looked at each other, as if suspended in time. As if you were the only people in existence. And all you could see was his face, all freckles and sweetness, and a part of you urged you to just kiss him. Just make the move. Just let it all out. But you didn‘t, still afraid, still insecure. Not even sleeping in his bed, wearing his shirt, waking up next to him, made you brave enough to risk everything you had with him.
Eventually, he spoke again. “I meant to ask you”, he said, brushing a loose strand of hair out of your face, “what did you want to thank Ji and Minho for yesterday?” You shivered slightly at his touch, so gentle it made you want to melt. “Nothing”, you said shyly. Felix just raised an eyebrow at you, clearly not believing your lie. “Fine”, you sighed, staring at his chest, unable to face him, “They told me you were trying to make me jealous.” You lifted your gaze again. “Were you?”
“Mhm.” Felix nodded, a playful smile on his face. “Why though?”, you asked, following that small nagging voice in your head that refused to believe the revelations made at the party. Felix giggled. “Because you’re absolutely blind, sunshine”, he explained. “What do you mean?” Felix put his hand on your cheek, gently brushing his thumb over your soft skin. “I’ve been flirting with you for months now.”
„You…have?“ It was hard to think clearly when the man you‘ve been in love with for years now touched your skin, lying close enough to take in his wonderful scent, saying things that had your heart clenching in your chest. And then he had the audacity to lean in closer. „I‘ve tried so hard to make you see it, sunshine“, he whispered and placed a featherlight kiss on your cheek, „but you‘ve been so busy trying to hide behind your insecurities.“ He placed another kiss on your other cheek. „When all I‘ve wanted to do all night yesterday was kiss you.“
It was as if your body was moving all on its own, throwing the nagging voice in your head over board as you captured Felix‘s lips in a soft, needy, desperate kiss. You could feel him smile into the kiss, could feel his arms wrap around you, drawing you closer. It was as if a weight was lifted from your heart, from your whole body actually. You felt incredibly light and incredibly safe, no doubt in you mind anymore about what was happening.
You didn‘t know how long the kiss lasted. It felt like forever and not remotely long enough all at the same time, but eventually both of you had to come up for air. When you did, you were smiling and panting, bodies still pressed together underneath the blankets. „Sorry it took me so long“, you said once you‘d caught your breath. „Sorry for making you jealous“, he answered, „now, can I make my girlfriend some pancakes?“
♥--------♥--------♥
Masterlist
#stray kids#skz#stray kids felix#skz felix#felix x reader#felix x female reader#stray kids yongbok#skz yongbok#yongbok#felix yongbok#lee yongbok#lee felix#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic
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“Sometimes I hold you closer just to know you’re real.”—
Just something I wrote at random. I love Louis fine self so much.
I was selfish with Louis. As he was with me. But we truly couldn’t help it. I indulged in him as if he was my favorite chocolate during the holidays. From simple glances to throes of passion his form was committed to my memory.
“ we have to leave the bed at some point darling.”
He whispered in my ear. Our essence tangled within the sheets, I cuddled to him closer “ no we don’t, we can stay here forever.”
Louis laughed deeply. His smile always touched his eyes. “ yea we can but I have business to take care of sugar, and that little one inside of you is going to be needing food soon. Now let’s get up so I can feed my girls.” He gently smiled.
How are you so sure it’s a girl ? I asked with a giggle
“Saw it in my dream. A little baby girl sat on my lap and called me papa.” He said sweetly
Well if it is a girl what we naming her ?
“Claudia, we’ll name her Claudia.” He responded
I smiled. I like that name.
There are things I have yet to know about Louis De pointe Du lac. He’s given me bits and pieces of himself and slowly I’ve been able to put together the puzzle. It’s been quite a journey.
“You gonna be gone long Lou? “. I needed to know if his business would have him out all night again.
“I’ll be home in just 2 hours Cleo. Don’t worry about me. “
“I can’t help but to worry” I mumbled
“It’s not good for the baby, I’ll be back sooner than you think.”
After making a quick meal, Louis gave me and my tummy a kiss before embedding himself into the darkness once more.
That night i heard Louis stumble in. I kept my eyes shut tight. Whatever demons he’d been fighting I pray they do not find their way to my doorstep. Louis had trouble in the past, he was honest about that, but it didn’t ease my nerves when he came waltzing in here after midnight.
“ Cleo ? You awake baby “ his thick New Orleans accent rang through the quiet room.
“Yea I am.” My voice was small, I wasn’t afraid of Louis but there was a shift in the air and that unnerved me.
“ Cleo baby girl we’re going way for a bit, i don’t have much time to explain. I’m packing our things just please get dressed.” His voice was frantic.
I didn’t ask questions. Because I knew Lou. He didn’t fear anything. Not even death itself. So whatever spooked him, was serious. I scrambled out of bed and began to throw on anything. After getting dressed we walked out of our home.
I seen 2 figures waiting for us. As I got closer I seen one blonde white man and the other of Indian descent. Their eyes travelled to Louis and I felt my legs want to give out. They looked at my Louis the way I did, and when their eyes reached me ?
Well, death seemed easier. I could just feel the earth begin to swallow me whole and—
“Cut that shit out Lestat. Don’t you dare invade her mind.” Louis spat
A smirk played on the blondes lips. “ of course “
We entered the car, as we pulled off lestat decided to make small talk
“ so any baby names” I didn’t miss the venom in his tone as if I was beneath him. Like I wasn’t worthy
“ Claudia. Right Lou ? “
I felt Louis hold me tighter. He kissed my temple and smiled.
“ yea, Claudia”
The car grew silent.
The tension began to choke me
I’d follow Louis anywhere but for the first time, in his arms was the last place I wanted to be. “ please dont say that.” louis whispered.
“Hmph. Well I am Lestat the man next to me is Armand we are old friends of your boyfriend. “
“Husband. We’re married.” I corrected him
We came to an abrupt stop.
“ Lestat keep driving. Please. “ mumbled Armand
I watched the blonde man rush out the car, to stand on the side of the road. Suddenly he doubled over and vomited.
“Dramatic.” Armand muttered.
“Is he okay” I asked with concern. Armand looked back to me then Louis then rolled his eyes
“Ask your husband.” Louis sat back with his eyes closed.
“ just sit back cleo and take a nap. You and the baby need rest.” My mind whispered.
I felt myself lean back and drift off.
OMNISCIENT POV
Armand watched Louis through the mirror.
“ don’t say anything to me” Louis spoke,
“You love her I can see that.” Armand responded curtly.
“Yea. Yea I do.” Louis ran a hand down his face.
“Be honest with her “
“I’m trying”
“She’s in a car with 3 of the undead. You’re not trying hard enough”
Please lay off this. Louis spoke into his old lover’s mind
Lestat entered the car eyes red and voice gravely.
“This was a mistake. But it is too late I suppose.” He took a pause. “Is she aware of what grows inside of her? “
“It’s a regular human child”. Louis responded wearily.
“Oh ! So that’s why we’re taking a road-trip, you’re afraid.” Lestat shook his head and focused back on the road.
Louis looked to Cleo eyes brimming with tears.
“I am. He whispered. I’ve never been more afraid.”
#louis de pointe du lac x black reader#louis de pointe du lac#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#armand iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#Louis de pointe du lac x black oc#jacob anderson
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Prada You Chapter 17
Summary:
In the summer of 1998, sparks fly between Nyeya and Jey.
Nyeya is an 18-year-old around the way girl. Jey is older, paid, and fine. He is also the leader of the infamous Prada Bois alongside his twin brother Jimmy. The two have chemistry. However, Nyeya has plans outside of her attraction. With a birthday around the corner and dreams of living a good life, Nyeya sets her sights on enjoying the perks of Jey's money and hood celebrity.
But baby girl has no clue what it takes to really be down. Nyeya is about to learn some hard life lessons at the expense of her 'Prada' priced dreams.
Pairing: Jey Uso x Nyeya (Nye) Green (OC)
Author’s Note: This story is happening in an alternative universe. It features the current and original Bloodline members along with other WWE stars. So, the characters are themselves, but some things are switched around for the stories sake. This was originally written with all original characters, but I think it could work better this way. Hope you guys enjoy it and I actually finish it...
Warning: Please be advised that this chapter contains underage drinking, age gap relationships.
Disclaimer: This work of art is fictional in nature including the original characters created by me. I do not own any of the existing characters or lyrics from songs referenced in this story (if any). All rights belong to their respective owners with the exception of my original characters. This work is purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to cause harm.
Chapter 17: Heavy
The room felt smaller, as if the argument had sucked all the air out of it. I leaned against the wall, my arms crossed tightly over my chest, while Jey paced the floor like a caged animal. His breaths were heavy, his movements restless.
“I’m sorry, Nyeya,” he said finally, breaking the silence. His voice was quieter now, no longer edged with anger but laced with something deeper—regret perhaps. “I didn’t mean for it to go like that. I just… I can’t stand the thought of someone trying to come between us. You know how I feel about you. You know how deep this shit is.”
I stayed silent, my heart still pounding from the intensity of it all. My thoughts raced, caught between wanting to believe him and knowing this wasn’t the first time he’d apologized like this. “Jey, you can’t keep doing this. It’s too much. I don’t… I don’t know how long I can keep dealing with you popping off on me.”
He stopped pacing, turning to face me. The hardness in his expression softened, and he closed the distance between us. “I know I messed up,” he admitted, his voice raw. “But you’re everything to me, Nye. I swear I’ll do better. Just… don’t walk away from me. Not tonight.”
His words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken promises. I wanted to push back, to tell him words weren’t enough anymore, but the look in his eyes stopped me. Vulnerability wasn’t something Jey wore often, and seeing it now made it harder to hold onto my anger.
“You always say that. You always do this,” I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper.
“And I mean it this time,” he said quickly, his hand brushing against mine. His touch was light, hesitant, as if he was afraid I’d pull away. “Stay with me tonight. We’ll figure it out in the morning. Please, baby.”
I hesitated, the logical part of me screaming to leave, to go home and put space between us. But the vulnerability in his voice and the way he looked at me pulled at something deeper. Against my better judgment, I nodded. “Alright. I’ll stay.”
---
As we left the room, the heavy tension started to lift, though it didn’t disappear completely. My eyes scanned the crowded living room, spotting Kiyah near the kitchen with Jacob still close by her side. Natasha was laughing with Tama and Tonga, while Nataya and Jimmy were tucked into a quiet corner, her hand resting on his knee as they whispered to each other.
I hesitated, but Jey gave me a reassuring nod before stepping away to talk to Sami near the backyard.
Kiyah was the first to notice me approaching, her eyes narrowing with concern. “You okay, Nye? You look…” she paused, glancing behind me as if searching for Jey. “What happened?”
I shrugged, not trusting my voice to sound steady. “I’m fine. We just needed to talk some things out. It’s all good now.”
Natasha joined us, her brow furrowed. “Talk about what? We saw how he dragged you outta here. What’s going on, Nye? He trippin’ again?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly, forcing a small smile. “Everything’s fine now. Really. I’m… I’m gonna stay with him tonight."
Kiyah’s expression turned skeptical. “You sure that’s a good idea?”
Nataya, who had finally made her way over, looked between me and Jey from afar. “Girl, we’ll cover for you if your mama asks, but you need to make sure you’re good. I mean, really good. If you’re not sure, come home with us.”
I appreciated their concern, but I could feel Jey’s eyes on me from across the room, his posture relaxed yet watchful. “I’m sure,” I said, louder this time. “He’s… he’s trying, y’all. I just need to give him a chance. We’ll work things out.”
Kiyah’s lips pressed into a thin line, but she nodded. “Alright. But you call us if anything goes left. Promise me, Nye.”
“Promise,” I said, hoping my voice sounded steadier than I felt.
Satisfied, the girls let it go, but the worry in their eyes stayed with me as I walked back to Jey. He stood near the back door, leaning against the frame with his hands in his pockets. His gaze softened when I approached.
“Everything good?” he asked, his tone low and calm.
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “Let’s go.”
---
The ride to Jey’s house was quiet, the city streets bathed in the glow of streetlights. I stared out the window, my thoughts tangled. Jey’s hand rested on the gear shift, his fingers tapping rhythmically, a small but noticeable sign of his lingering tension.
“I’ll get you home early,” he said, breaking the silence. “Before anyone notices you missing. You said mama don’t trip right if she think you with Kiyah.”
I nodded, my gaze still fixed on the passing buildings. The lies he had me telling sat uncomfortably in my chest, but I didn’t argue.
---
Morning light spilled through the blinds of Jey’s bedroom, casting soft shadows across the walls. The faint scent of his cologne lingered in the air, mingling with the distant hum of traffic outside. I woke to the weight of his arm draped over my waist, his body warm against mine. For a moment, I lay there, replaying the events of the night before. The fight. The apology. The lingering doubt that refused to leave.
Jey stirred beside me, his grip tightening slightly before he opened his eyes. “Morning,” he murmured, his voice rough with sleep.
“Morning,” I replied, shifting to sit up.
He propped himself up on one elbow, watching me. “About last night… I meant what I said. I’m sorry. I know I need to do better. I don’t want to lose you.”
I looked down at my hands, tracing invisible patterns on the blanket. “Jey, you can’t keep saying that and then doing the same thing over and over. I… I need things to change.”
“And they will,” he said firmly, sitting up fully now. “Tonight, at the park if you come, it’s just gonna be good vibes. No drama. No fights. Just us having a good time. I promise, Nye. Let me make it up to you.”
I wanted to believe him. The sincerity in his voice made it hard to hold onto my doubts. “Alright,” I said finally, my voice barely audible. “I’ll come.”
His face softened into a smile, and he leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. “That’s my girl.”
---
By the time Jey dropped me off at home, the morning was quiet, the street bathed in soft sunlight. He pulled the car to a stop in front of my house and turned to face me.
“I’ll see you around four. I got some business to handle before I get there,” he said, his tone lighter now. “Wear something cute for me. You know how I like it.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the small smile that crept onto my face. “Cool. I’ll see you later.”
He leaned in, his lips capturing mine in a kiss that was soft but lingering, his hand lightly brushing my cheek. When he pulled back, his grin was back in place. “Later, baby.”
I stepped out of the car, closing the door behind me. As he drove off, I stood there for a moment, the smile fading from my face. The warmth of his kiss lingered, but so did the knot in my stomach. Was I making the right choice? I shook my head, pushing the thought aside as I headed inside. For now, I’d let myself hope that today would be different.
---
The midday sun beamed down as I stepped out of the house, my swimsuit covered by a loose, sheer wrap. Natasha and Nataya were already waiting by the car, chattering excitedly about the park party. Kiyah walked up behind me, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. "You good?" she asked, her voice soft.
"Yeah, I’m good," I replied, though my stomach twisted with unease.
We piled into the car Jimmy let Nataya borrow, the twins up front with Natasha driving. She was the best driver out of us. The ride to the park was filled with chatter and laughter, the excitement contagious despite my own lingering doubts. I stared out the window, trying to convince myself this would be a good day.
---
The park was alive with activity. Music blared from speakers set up near the pool, the beats vibrating through the warm summer air. Groups of people danced on the grass; their movements carefree. Others gathered around picnic tables piled high with food—burgers, hot dogs, aluminum pans of baked beans and mac and cheese. The pool glistened, a handful of kids splashing while some adults lounged on inflatable floats, their drinks held high above the water.
“Okay, let’s party,” Natasha said, clapping her hands together as she stepped out of the car. The twins wasted no time joining the festivities, leaving Kiyah and me standing by the lot.
Kiyah turned to me, her expression shifting from excitement to concern. “Alright, Nye, real talk. Are you okay? Like, really okay?"
I hesitated, caught off guard by her directness. “I… Yeah. I’m cool. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Kiyah crossed her arms, giving me a look that said she wasn’t buying it. “You’ve been off lately. Last night wasn’t nothing. And I know how Jey can be especially with you.”
“He’s not that bad,” I said quickly, the words tumbling out before I could think them through. “He’s just… going through some stuff. You know how life gets. It’ll work out.”
“Uh-huh,” Kiyah said, unimpressed. “Listen, I get it. He’s got that whole charm thing going on, but nothing—and I mean nothing—is worth losing yourself over. Not even a Prada Boi.”
Her words hit harder than I wanted to admit. I forced a small smile, hoping to ease her concern. “I’m not losing myself, Kiyah. I’m good. I promise.”
She studied me for a moment before sighing. “Alright. Just… don’t let him drag you down, Nye. You’re better than that. And he not all that anyway.”
“I won’t,” I assured her, though the pit in my stomach said otherwise.
Satisfied, Kiyah grinned and bumped my shoulder. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with Jacob. I think I can play step-mama for the right price.” She turned and disappeared into the crowd, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
---
I made my way to the pool, slipping off my wrap and sitting at the edge with my feet dangling in the water. The coolness was a welcome relief from the summer heat, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. I glanced around, my heart skipping when I saw him.
Damian stood on the far side of the pool, leaning casually against a fence with a drink in his hand. His eyes were fixed on me, his gaze heavy and unrelenting. My breath hitched, and I felt suddenly exposed, the swimsuit clinging to my skin like a second layer.
I looked away quickly, my heart pounding. Why was he here? Why now?
The rumble of an engine broke through my thoughts, and I turned to see Jey’s car pulling into the parking lot. He stepped out, his walk slightly unsteady, a bottle of liquor dangling from one hand. He was shirtless, his tattoos on full display, the ink stretching across his chest and arms, a bold statement of who he was. His eyes were glassy, his grin lazy, and his shorts hung low on his hips, completing the effortless look. He looked good as hell.
I pushed myself up from the pool and walked toward him, meeting him halfway. “You’re late,” I said, trying to keep my tone light but unable to hide the edge of annoyance in my voice.
“I’m right on time, baby,” he replied, his arm slipping around my waist and pulling me closer. The smell of alcohol clung to him, sharp and undeniable, but his touch was steady, almost comforting. “You miss me?”
I hesitated for a moment, studying his glassy eyes and the way his grin tilted slightly to the side. “Maybe. Did you miss me?”
“More than you know,” he said, his voice dropping low. He leaned in, brushing his lips against mine in a featherlight tease before pulling back. “You been behaving without me?”
I hesitated before nodding. “Of course.”
His grin widened, and he held the bottle out to me. “Here,” he said, holding the bottle between us. “Take a sip. Loosen up. It’s a celebration, right?”
I took the bottle hesitantly, the liquor burning as it slid down my throat. Jey’s fingers danced on my hip, the touch intimate, almost claiming. He leaned in as I swallowed, his lips brushing the corner of my mouth. "That’s my girl," he whispered, his voice thick with satisfaction. I glanced toward the pool and caught Damian watching us, his expression unreadable. The intensity of his gaze made my skin prickle, and a surge of defiance rose in me.
Turning back to Jey, I slipped an arm around his neck, pulling him flush against me. "You’re in a real good mood today," I murmured, my lips brushing the edge of his jaw before trailing lightly to his ear. "What’s got you so happy?"
“Because I got you, mama,” he murmured, his lips grazing the sensitive spot beneath my ear. “When you’re with me, it’s like everything’s right. Last night’s behind us, right?”
I nodded, even as my heart pounded. “Right.”
Jey’s grin widened before he kissed me again, this time deeper, his lips firm and insistent, as if he was staking a claim. The heat of the moment sent a rush through me, and I clung to him, my fingers running through his hair. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against mine, his breath warm against my skin.
“Let’s go join the party," he said, his voice low and full of promise. "Show everyone how good we look together."
---
The festivities were in full swing. Music blasted from the speakers, and the air was filled with the sound of laughter and splashing water. Jey stayed close, his arm never straying far from my waist.
Natasha and Tonga were dancing near the grill, their movements loose and carefree. Nataya and Jimmy were sitting together at a table, sharing a plate of food and laughing like they had no cares in the world. Kiyah and Jacob were by the pool, their heads close as they talked, their laughter carrying over the noise.
I tried to focus on the party, to lose myself in the energy around me. But every so often, I felt Damian’s gaze slicing through the crowd, his eyes heavy and unyielding. It was like he was reading every move I made, dissecting every touch Jey placed on me. No matter how much I laughed, danced, or clung to Jey, Damian’s presence was a reminder that nothing about today was simple—and nothing about this life ever would be.
---
The park party was electric, the kind of energy that could only come from summer heat and a crowd that seemed to double by the minute. The bass from the speakers thumped so hard it vibrated in my chest, mixing with the smell of charcoal, chlorine, and the tangy sweetness of someone’s perfume. Everywhere I turned, there was movement: people dancing on the grass, kids cannonballing into the pool, and adults balancing plates stacked with food.
Jey had me perched on his lap by one of the folding tables, his arm snug around my waist as I fed him bites of cake. His lips brushed against the fork with every bite, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“You’re enjoying this too much,” I teased, wiping a smudge of frosting from the corner of his lips.
“Why wouldn’t I?” he shot back, his voice low and full of that easy confidence. “You’re spoiling me. You’re not gonna stop now, are you?”
I rolled my eyes, but the warmth in his gaze made my cheeks heat. “Don’t get used to it,” I warned, though the playful lilt in my voice made it clear I didn’t mean it.
Jey chuckled, leaning in to kiss my temple. His grip tightened slightly; a subtle reminder of the claim he had on me. “I will. You treat me like a king, baby. And I treat you like a queen.”
---
As the afternoon stretched into early evening, the crowd seemed to thicken. Natasha and Sami had drifted toward the grill, where Sami’s booming laughter carried over the music. Nataya and Jimmy were sitting under a tree, their hands intertwined, looking like they were in their own world. Kiyah had switched gears, chatting up Solo now, her easy laugh and quick wit drawing him in.
I let my eyes wander, hoping to absorb the carefree atmosphere. But then I saw him.
Damian was sitting against the fence near the pool, a beer bottle dangling loosely in his hand. A woman was perched on his lap, her legs draped over his as she toyed with the gold chain around his neck. She was gorgeous, with dark curls framing her face and a smile that lit up the space around her. Damian’s hand rested on her thigh, his fingers tracing slow, deliberate patterns that made my stomach twist.
I tore my gaze away, the sight leaving a sour taste in my mouth. Why do you care? I scolded myself, but the question felt hollow. I tried to focus on Jey, who was cracking jokes with Jacob, but my thoughts kept drifting back to Damian.
---
Later, I stood and stretched. “I’m gonna put my stuff in your car,” I told Jey, brushing a kiss against his cheek. “Be right back.”
“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” he asked, his tone teasing but laced with a protective edge.
I smiled. “I’ll be fine. Hold my spot.”
The parking lot was quieter, the distant hum of the party muted by the trees surrounding it. I opened the trunk of Jey’s car, placing my bag inside and closing it with a satisfying click.
“Leaving already?” a voice said behind me. I turned to see Damian standing by a car, his beer still in hand. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes lingered on mine for a moment too long.
“What do you want, Damian?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest.
“To talk,” he said simply, stepping closer. “You seemed… off earlier. I just want to make sure you’re okay, mami.”
“I’m fine,” I replied sharply. “You don’t need to worry about me. That’s Jey’s job.”
His jaw tightened, and he exhaled through his nose. “Is it bad that I care about you, Nyeya? More than you realize. More than I realized.”
His words threw me off balance, but I masked it with anger. “You have a funny way of showing it,” I snapped, glancing back toward the party. “Is that why you had some girl draped over you like a cheap coat? You worried about her, too?”
Damian’s lips quirked into a smirk. “Jealous?”
I scoffed. “Hardly.”
He stepped closer, his voice dropping. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but I see it, Nye. You’re not happy. Not with him. But I told you that, mami. How long before you admit it?”
My chest tightened. “You don’t know anything about me or what I feel.”
“I know more than you think,” he said, his gaze holding mine. “And I know you deserve better.”
The silence between us was heavy, charged with unspoken things I wasn’t ready to confront. Finally, I shook my head and turned back toward the party. “I don’t have time for this, Damian.”
“Not much time left,” he called after me. “Think about it before it gets worse.”
---
Back at the party, Jey pulled me into his lap again, his arm wrapping securely around me as the card game at the table kicked off. His laughter was loud and easy, his confidence radiating as he placed his bets. I tried to focus on him, on the way his hand rested on my thigh, but I couldn’t shake the tension lingering from my conversation with Damian.
“Yo, Damian!” Jey called out, nodding toward an empty seat. “Get over here, uce. We need one more.”
Damian hesitated for a fraction of a second before approaching, his face carefully neutral. He took the seat without a word, his eyes flicking to me briefly before settling on his cards. The tension at the table was palpable, though no one else seemed to notice.
By the end of the game, I’d had enough. Leaning into Jey, I murmured, “I’m ready to go.”
He glanced at me, his expression softening. “Yeah? Alright, baby. Let’s get outta here.”
He helped me up, throwing an arm over my shoulders as we headed toward the parking lot. I felt Damian’s eyes on me as we walked away, but I didn’t look back. The weight of his gaze followed me long after we left.
---
Back at Jey’s house, the atmosphere shifted into something quieter, softer. The hum of the air conditioner filled the silence, blending with the occasional rustle of leaves outside the window. Jey dropped his keys on the counter and turned to me, his expression uncharacteristically gentle.
“You straight?” he asked, stepping closer, his hands sliding around my waist. His touch was familiar, steady, but his eyes searched mine like he was trying to read the thoughts I wasn’t saying. “You know you mean everything to me, right?”
I nodded, letting out a small breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “Yeah. I’m good. And I know, babe.”
His thumb traced slow circles on my hip, and he leaned in, his forehead resting lightly against mine. “Thanks for sticking with me tonight,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I know I can mess up, Nye. I just… I can’t picture this life without you in it.”
“You think?” I teased, brushing my fingers along the faint stubble on his jaw. “You make it sound like I’m doing you a favor just being here.” My voice softened, my gaze meeting his. “But you know it’s because I care, right? You just gotta let yourself believe you’re worth it.”
He smirked, his lips brushing against my temple. “You keep me steady,” he murmured, his voice raw in a way that made my chest ache. “It’s not just needing you, Nye. You’re the only one who gets me. The only one I trust to really see me, all of me.”
The weight of his words hung between us, and for once, there wasn’t any tension behind them. It felt honest, raw in a way that made my chest tighten. I leaned up, pressing my lips to his in a kiss that started slow but deepened quickly. His hands slid up my back, pulling me closer until there was no space left between us.
“I’m glad you stayed down with me,” he murmured, his lips grazing mine. “I don’t say it enough, but I love you, Nyeya. You’ve got my heart, baby.”
His words hit me harder than I expected, and for a moment, I just stared at him, my heart pounding in my chest. “I love you too, Jey,” I whispered, my voice trembling but sure. And as his arms tightened around me, I let myself believe it. For now, it was enough to drown out the noise of everything else.
---
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#black fanfic writer#black oc#original character#the bloodline#wwe au#90s#jey uso x oc#jey uso#jey uso x black oc#jey uso fanfiction#jey uso fanfic#jey uso fic
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The villain sprawled languid, more somber than usual, on the rooftop of a towering business building. Their head rested on the wall leading to the stairwell, legs dangling precariously over the edge. Staring down at the street with an intent that made hero's blood run cold.
"V-villain," Hero murmured with some measure of trepidation.
Villain leaned back, gazed at the hero from upside down, and smiled slow.
"Hero! How on earth did you find me?"
"I'll tell you i-if you come down," Hero said with a note of urgency.
"And why would I do that? I can hear you perfectly fine up here!"
"P-please come down."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were worried about me," the villain said, tapping them teasingly. "Scared of heights? Or think I have something up my sleeve?"
"I know you saw what the mayor said," Hero said. "I... I don't even know where to begin."
"So don't," Villain said. "After all, you agree with him, don't you? You just stood there and let him say everything. Of course you'll deny it and feign being neutral--"
"No, that's not--"
"Because that's so much less messy, isn't it?"
"I--"
"Listen, sit back, grab some popcorn, and I'll make a show of it just for you." They stood, one foot on the edge, one arm holding a pole as they dangled over the rooftop edge. "Your life will be sooo much better if I just--"
"VILLAIN!" Hero yelled. They climbed up and grabbed for their collar, but Villain dodged, spinning gracefully to the other side of the pole. Hero lost their balance, and Villain grabbed at their collar to steady them. "Careful, darling, we're high, high up. You don't want an accident, do you?"
"V-villain, please--"
"Aren't you afraid I'll push you?" Villain said. "Poor, sweet, trusting thing."
Hero sucked in a breath. Looked down below. That was a mistake.
"Villain, please, get down from here," they pleaded. "Please, I need you, please--"
Villain sneered. "You need me? What sentimental hogwash are you spewing now? You've never needed someone like me. Besides, you should worry more about yourself." Villain gripped their collar tightly, eyes wide with a hungry sort of malice. "Aren't you letting your guard down too much?"
With a yank, they swung Hero over the edge, toes barely holding the rooftop's edge.
Hero SCREAMED, panted, scrambling for as much purchase as possible.
"You're pathetic," Villain said. "Weak and trusting and SO easy to manipulate. A good little puppet for the mayor up until now."
"VILLAIN--" Hero screeched, voice cracking.
"But now I hold the strings," Villain said. "And it's time to make you dance."
They shoved Hero's feet off the edge. Kicking air. Crying. "Please please PLEASE--"
"Say it. Say I'm a monster, you COWARD. A filthy creature that needs to be eradicated--"
"V-villain--"
"An infestation on an otherwise fine society--"
"VILLAIN, NO--"
"You coward," Villain spat. "Say it to my face."
"Y-you're not."
"Liar. I'm a monster. Say it."
Tears fell from Hero's face.
"N-no. You're right. I'm a coward."
Silence.
Villain drew them back to the ledge.
"The m-mayor... Is the monster. I s-shouldn't have let it get this bad. We can't let him keep on like this."
There was that same somber look on the villain's face.
"I-I should have stood up to him," Hero sobbed. "I-if you... J-jump... It would end me." They hiccuped and buried their face in their hands. "I... I c-can't... I..."
"Hey, uh..." Villain gripped their shoulders. "Let's get down... Okay?"
"I'm a coward," Hero sobbed. "All this time... I just kept quiet... And for what? I almost lost you."
Villain patted their shoulder gently.
Hero looked up at them with watery eyes.
"I... I care about you. You're so used to being the villain you can't picture anything else."
"Heh." Villain shook their head. Put some distance between them, back turned. "You martyr. I just threatened your life."
"They're calling for your blood and disrespecting your life's work, and I stood by and let them. I betrayed you."
"It... Hurt," Villain said, hugging themselves. Head hung. "More than I care to admit."
"I'll make it right," Hero said. "Most don't see it, but your motives are good. I'll make them see it."
"I'm a villain, darling," Villain said with a sad smile. "My motives hardly matter."
Hero closed the distance and laid a gentle hand on their arm.
"They matter to me."
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CLARA PLEASE PLEASE CLARA NO NOT YOU NOT YET NOT NOW OH MY CLARA WHY PLEASE NO PLEASE
#I'm ugly sobbing at 6 in the morning over this#I was RIGHT to keep putting this off I was RIGHT to be afraid#I have not been this attached to a companion since rose#not even the ponds as much as I loved them#I knew I was gonna be distraught but. oh god. I thought the rocky start I had with her would've softened the blow#it didn't. it's not#sorry that clara doesn't get an full fuckin novel over her leaving like rose and amy did I don't have it in me#I'm genuinely so upset right now#clara oswin oswald I love u I love u foreva#let me be brave#be a little proud of me#FUCK!!!!!!!#I can't fucking take it man I can't oh I can't oh#I do not know when I am going to finish the last two episodes#oh. oh. my clara#I feel physically ill over this I love her so much#clara oswald#doctor who
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mannnn who up tearing up over the sticker scene
#txt#i just starting thinking about how terrified greg must have been :(((((#he made a mistake and why would tom protect him now when he can pick and choose so much more freely who he wants#logically i'm sure he knows matsson is indeed pissed over what he did but he doesn't hate greg at least not enough to get rid of him#yet that kind of phrasing he believes in an instant bc he's in such a state of fear you can see it in his eyes in his movements#he's so afraid he's gonna go right back to being homeless to his last 20 bucks and no one will save him. no one will love him. no one will#care. but tom!!!!!! oh GOD tom!!!! says i got just enough capital!!!! i got you! and then says I GOT YOU AGAIN! just so greg didn't miss it!#you hear me? i got you!!! i'll keep you!#can i come with you nero? YES YOU CAN THATS NOT EVEN A QUESTION#and the sheer. like. shock. of being chosen like that. greg is just staring at tom as he plucks the sticker off#stock fucking still as tom puts it on even swaying slightly with the gentle force of tom putting the sticker on him bc he#can't quite believe it for a second#then he breaks into a dopey sideways smile and tom tells him gently again i got you.#you got me? even after everything? even after i made a mistake? even though i hurt you? even though i tried to make my way#and failed? even after i slapped you? even after i fought back in the bathroom? you still want me?#it just. man idk it hits me right in the kokoro....
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my sister is dating the worst most manipulative, gaslighting man in the world. literally could write pages about how awful he is. i'm pretty positive he's lying about having this illness that his mom had and he uses it against my sister so she feels guilty leaving him. i want him dead like actually i hope he dies
#its been like this for YEARS#and she finally broke it off on saturday but she went back TODAY im like PLEEEASE girl!!!!!!#i dont understand how she can go back#i know its not her fault and he's the one who sucks#but the amount of shit he has put her through#the EMBARRASSMENT he causes her to feel#the WORDS he says to her#i just dont get how she can keep it going and try again when he has NEVER once changed#my dad said hes gonna go to his job and 'have a chat with him'#and like yeah okay good#but at the same time wont that just drive her away from us right into his arms??#im just nervous#im genuinely afraid that he will hurt her one of these days#its never gotten to a physical point (that im aware of)#but the way he treats her. i can see it getting to that point and im so scared
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Excellent news turns out there was a miscommunication and Mr. Knight isn't still interested--learned instead that what actually is the case is that he DOES know and understand why the relationship ended. He is committed to avoiding me at all costs now so that he can move on, which is fair enough. I didn't think we could be friends after this. Bad news I have to think with nuance and admit to myself that I was not entirely blameless either and that I do need to be careful not to conclude in bouts of anger or sadness that I was an innocent victim who suffered and endured the slings and arrows of outrageous treatment like a saint and now to deal with residual negative feelings with more wisdom and care than previous fanning of flames
#it is much easier for me to hold onto outrage and grief and anger#because i think part of me is afraid that i put him off dating for good#or that i hurt him so badly that he'll carry that forever#i think it's easier to be hard and untouchable but i CANT and i cant let myself#at the end of the day he IS a brother in Christ and my friends' friend.#we were just not suited for each other#it isnt that he was a villain or an idiot#he's just not the right person and that's fibe#fine#after learning this today i realised that yes i AM angry still. and hurt. and i let that become bitterness at times#but i still have some tender feeling toward him which is kind of like an echo#he's discerning for the diaconate! and i think he could be a good one too#he has kindness fidelity and love for God and is very steadfast#and if God is calling him to be a deacon i think he will be a wonderful one#i can wish him well and keep moving on#and not be so repulsed by that tenderness i think#but take it as genuine appreciation for what he used to be to me#i am glad that he was the first boy i dated. despite the things that did not work at all#he was the first person who showed me that kind of boyishly clumsy but altogether sincere love#ex. his left sleeve was all wet on the first date because he held his umbrella so far over me#anyway it is hard to reconcile that happiness with the crushing sadness#that came afterwards and it is very hard to hold the joy of the first half of the relationship#with all the troubles of the later half and the hurt that followed#but it's easier now to look at all of this and not feel terrible lol#God's grace! and His hand throughout#my heart is a lot more at peace now :) i was so so angry in the weeks leading up#to valentine's day. it is good to remember that mr knight is first and foremost a brother in Christ#and that while we will never share the same kind of happiness we had during the relationship again with each other#we will share in the same joy of our Lord's victory#anyway many thoughts :)
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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by
#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about#but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were#and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat#as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like#a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain#it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot#i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds#i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh#political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore#they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get#but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk#i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers#here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now#it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths#i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how#burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that#i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up#could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me#coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage#you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao#i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now#bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will#i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail#also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e#no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it#i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course#idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do#anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand#shai speaks
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I don't know why I like drawing shadow being cool or whatever because I do not view him as cool. he's a funny little guy to me. I guess it's part of killing the part of me that cringes or something
#I always cringe when I look at my Serious Emo shadow art but I keep drawing it#it's not at all related to how I view him as a character it's just really fun#there isn't another character that it feels right to draw like that anyways so#yeah. funny hedgehog I like to put him in situations#I'm always afraid of coming off as one of those people who's deeply weird about shadow because so many people are like that#like yeah he's one of my faves but I barely think about him compared to other characters tbh
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age gap autumn girl fuck you
#laid down on his bed he asks if i’m alright with him locking the door i say should i be afraid of you locking the door he rolls his eyes#i’m watching a pot on his stove we’re alone in his apartment he’s standing right behind me and i look at the glass of his kitchen window#so i can catch his reflection he’s just standing there waiting for his vegan pasta his meatless dish but i still feel like prey this#weekend i shared a hotel room with the kids they came over at night to watch a game and they’re all cuddled up around me they’re all#laughing and laughing and laughing and telling me about their exes and their boyfriends and i’m under the arm of one of them and he says#kitty kitty you’re going to fall off the bed i rest my head on another’s calf and she says kitty your hair is so soft and they’re all#laughing#i keep this in my drafts and a month after it's freezing at night i'm looking up at a man that might be fifty or at least forty five i#ask his name which i don't remember now because i was plastered. i was so drunk i tell him mister whatever-his-name was you're so handsome#and he blushes like i'm the one chasing him and that's because i am. i am laughing with all of my teeth out. he giggles pretty like i've#spent years doing and i ask him what is it sir what is it and he says i'm not usually told that and i nudge a little more i say you don't?#how? you're so handsome i say it in the way they all taught me in the way i've heard it before i keep going until he leaves for his place#but he doesn't invite me back because it's clear i've made him uncomfortable so i frown a little and lean back towards the boy i made out#with the night before i tell him huh old guy won't fuck me and he laughs he says so you really like them older i say yeah i laugh#i laugh and then i say but they don't seem to like me anymore he makes a joke about me having cut my hair short and i say no it's because#i'm too old for them now and he shakes his head do you see how fucked up that is he tells me and i just laugh harder but don't tell him it#is the truth. but not the whole of it. the rest of the truth is in me prowling through the bars another night and making eyes at them#instead of baring my neck when they come at me it's in me growing into a man in the steel of elevators and their sheets in the ac of their#offices and the heat of their cars and outgrowing them not to turn away from them but to become them that salivating beast they all are#all of us are i lean back on walls and show them a hip a boot-ed-on foot that is still small a wrist that is still thin a jaw that still#won't grow fuzz but don't they see right through they see right through this too small costume i've put on for them in the same way i#used to swear i saw through them too i swore i saw them for what they were but without even noticing they've done what they do in movies#and books and songs and middle-school health classes like in every warning that was given to me but here in this far away country i just#laugh and laugh harder when he says it makes sense though i mean i'm older than you too and he's only 24 and he says it so boyishly#almost with a pout and i cackle and he laughs too and there we are and we sound like children there in the street
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