#FIRST OF ALL DO U KNOW HOW SHITTY THAT FEELS HAVING SOMEONE STARE U DOWN IN UNDERWEAR JUST SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT U LOOKS SO INCREDIBLY BAD

[elecmon]

Not to completely change the subject but I'm getting the stitches removed from another mole extraction for, haha and get this, get that Womp Womp noise machine ready!!

Potentially mmoooorrreeeeee skin c*ncerrrrrrrrr. Ahahahaaaaaaaahhhh

Anyway getting them cut off in 7ish hours, and to no one's surprised I'm too stressed out to sleep

Got an email earlier today that the results of the testing are in, so at least that can get over with too (originally they had said it was gonna be a 12~14 day wait, but the stitches would be removed in 10 days)

[taesanrot]

[from the start] taesan x f!reader | 4.0k words college au, classmates to lovers, making out, alc consumption ++ terrible drunk decisions lmao, angst kinda, misunderstanding, mutual pining, fear of physical touch at first, everyone is just a little confused note. sorry this took literally so long to finish, i kept changing my mind on how i wanted it to go. fun fact the original idea for this fic was based on my real life situationship. hope u guys enjoy <3

you shouldn't be here. you should be sleeping off the alcohol flowing through you in your own bed, at your place. you shouldn't be here, pressed against taesan's chest, your mouth molded against his.

up until a few hours ago, han taesan was nothing but a fleeting memory. just someone your friends brought up once in a while to watch the way your cheeks flared up in embarrassment. he was part of the past, an unfortunate moment during your freshman year in university. your friends didn't know about the guilt that ate away at you every time the boy's name crossed your mind.

the two of you had met in english, deskmates who bonded over the frustrations that came with your shitty professor and endless essays. complaining about class turned into hushed whispers while the professor wasn't looking, adding each other on socials and snapping silly pictures back and forth, walking back to the dorms together. because... why not? taesan was cute and you couldn't help but chase the feeling that came with every interaction you two shared.

you never thought it would turn into anything, until your friends pointed out the obvious: he liked you. taesan liked you. the way your hair flowed so prettily, the way you smiled at all of his stupid pictures and the way your eyebrows furrowed at the professors nasally voice.

the two of you had an undeniable connection, and it ended with the two of you sitting on his bed watching a movie together on his roommate, sungho's, tv.

flirty glances and brushing hands turned into his hands running up your arms, breath hot on your neck as you tangled your fingers in his dark hair. having him like this should've felt like heaven, but instead your chest tightened and your body tensed, to the point where taesan pulled away from you, looking into your eyes and softly asking if this was okay, if you were okay.

you should've told him the truth, you were just scared. you hadn't done this before, not with someone who you felt so deeply for. you just wanted to slow down a bit. but instead you faked a smile and just said that you remembered something your friend had asked you to do, ignoring the stab in your chest as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you pulled away uncomfortably quick and left without another word. that was months ago.

the last you'd heard from him was hours after you left; he'd apologized profusely, saying he'd misread things and you tried and tried to reassure him that he did nothing wrong. you wished he could read your mind so you didn't have to face the fact that you were a coward and you'd hurt him in the process.

taesan thought that night would be the last time he'd see you. he could tell something was wrong, and he'd figured that you'd never want to see him again. but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to blame you, hate you, nothing.

...

"seriously? you're not mad.... at all?" sungho sat up in his bed, staring at his roommate in disbelief. "dude, she literally led you on and ghosted you." jaehyun chimed in, shaking his head at the younger boy. taesan shrugged and went back to tuning his guitar, covering up the sounds of his friends' scoffs with the vibrations of the strings he plucked. they thought he was hopeless, and secretly, he agreed.

...

after months of radio silence, it was safe to say that taesan was not expecting his phone to ping with a message from you.

you tried to move on from things with the music major, joking away your pain with your friends and going on dates with other guys. it worked for a few months, but eventually thoughts of han taesan caught up to you. they plagued your mind for days on end.

late at night, lying in your bed and staring at the ceiling, you wondered how things could've been different if you'd just told taesan the truth. you thought it was easier to just run away and pretend nothing happened between the two of you, that you'd be at peace if you just went back to before you knew he liked you, before you knew you liked him too. in the end, it just left you feeling empty.

you hadn’t ever met anyone like him, something you hadn’t ever admitted out loud. you couldn't go back to the way things were before, he'd left an imprint on your mind like no one else.

the thoughts you tried to smother finally came up to surface on a breezy saturday night as you were celebrating your friend, yunjin's, 21st birthday party at her apartment. after more than a few shots and the truly you split with yeri, you felt like you were on another planet. you stumbled over to the living room, falling onto the couch and leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

after a few minutes of sitting with your intoxicated state, you lazily unlocked your phone, scrolling through your instagram timeline, attention focusing in and out. that was until you came across a certain set of pictures. you squinted, reading the caption.

tae23san take my tears @psungho @myungj4e

pictured was none other than taesan, sitting on top of a car with his head tilted back to look at the sky.

sitting up slightly, you carefully scrolled through the dump of photos taesan had posted: him posing in the booth of a recording studio, he, sungho, and jaehyun in a photobooth, a candid of him playing the guitar, a mirror selfie with sungho, and a solo shot of him.

the last picture almost took your breath away; he posed with a hand ruffling his own hair as he pouted his lips.

all at once, you felt every emotion you fought so hard to drown explode in your heart. you missed him. so much. your head spun with sadness, guilt, and longing. you wanted to- no, you needed to see him.

it wasn't long before the thoughts popped in your head.

why don't i just text him?

whats the worst that could happen?

it was bad idea, a terrible idea truly. but you couldn't help yourself, you opened your contacts and found your chat with him faster than you could blink. you fumbled with the screen, trying to type out a cohesive message to the boy you so desperately wanted to see.

[1:53 a.m.]

y/n: taesnjsnnnnn

y/n: i miss you

y/n: i'm soryry

y/n: can i swee yuo? please

...

taesan was hoping to have a peaceful smoke with his friends. he, sungho, and jaehyun had spent the day working on a project for their advanced music production class, and were now sitting on the couch passing a blunt around, some rnb songs floating softly through the air.

taesan breathed in slowly, sucking in the laced smoke and exhaling it softly, humming at the warm feeling in his limbs. he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, laughing at the feeling of the vibrations against his thigh.

"this is done for." jaehyun mumbled before flicking off the ash and placing the end on the side table. taesan watched him with hooded eyes as he stood up to stretch out his limbs, making sungho and taesan giggle.

"i'm going to my room." sungho stood as well, murmuring a similar quip before meandering over to his door. "don't forget to turn off the lights, san."

taesan groaned in acknowledgement, letting his head fall back onto the couch. not really wanting to sleep, he wondered if he should watch a movie or make some food.

the boy sighed in boredom, pulling his phone out of his pocket languidly and swiping through his notifications.

his already blown out pupils grew even bigger at the sight of your name in his notifications. he'd never gotten around to deleting your number -- he figured there was no point.

his eyes focused on the words next to your name. 4 unopened messages. he rubbed his eyes slowly.

was he really that high right now? or did you really message him. taesan's gaze jumped over to the timestamp.

10 minutes ago.

he hurriedly clicked the notification, tapping his thigh with his fingers as the screen expanded to display your texts. you were clearly a bit out of it, taesan smiled at your typos. his vision seemed to laser focus on the one text you didn't misspell.

i miss you.

taesan couldn't say he didn't feel the same way. despite sungho and jaehyun's relentless nags, he thought about you more often than he'd like to admit.

somehow, he knew something was up the fateful night the two of you had hung out. that wasn't you, he just knew it. or so he told himself. he didn't want to be mad at you, he didn't want to hate you. he had hoped for this day so many times. the day you'd tell him you didn't mean it.

taesan's fingers moved across the screen slowly.

[2:08 a.m.]

han taesan: hey

han taesan: where are you?

...

from the moment you hit send, you had suddenly been more alert, thoughts racing a million miles a minute.

what do i do if he responds? is he even awake? he just posted, he has to be. god, i hope this works.

you'd taken the leap, there wasn't any going back.

you begrudgingly lifted yourself from the couch you were sitting on, looking for your friends so you could take your mind off of the messages you'd just sent.

walking over to the fridge, you grabbed a water bottle to help you sober up a bit.

eunchae and chaewon did a great job at keeping you from checking your phone every thirty seconds. you laughed at their horrific job at playing pictionary against two guys yunjin knew, anton and sohee.

your two friends were losing bad, and you smiled watching anton and chaewon bicker, anton giggled at chaewon's reddened face. you hoped you'd remember to tease her about it later.

your phone buzzed twice in your pocket and you held your breath as you fished it out and tapped the screen. face to face with taesan's messages, nearly shrieking, you quickly typed a response.

you paused for a second, calculating your next move. you really wanted to see him, praying to god that he was free and willing.

[2:09 a.m.]

y/n: yunjins place. in source complex

taesan: oh

taesan: what room

y/n: 204

taesan: im 3 floors up

taesan: in 511

y/n: can i come up

taesan: yeah of course

while you were definitely a little more sober than 15 minutes ago, you still fought to not squeal into your hand. looking around, you searched for yunjin so you could bid her goodbye.

...

mellow music still floating in the air of the living room, taesan dropped his phone in his lap. he let out a shaky sigh.

whether it was the weed or the fact that he was about to see you after what felt like forever, taesan was suddenly very nervous, wiping his hands on his pants and slowly standing from the couch.

rubbing his arms, he looked around the apartment, unsure of what to do until you got there. he assumed you'd take a bit to leave your friends apartment and make your way up to his. taesan hoped you'd make it okay; he wanted to come get you but was honestly way too fucking high to leave his apartment.

"i guess i'll go brush my teeth or something." the boy mumbled to himself, walking over to the bathroom to fix his hair and make sure he smelled okay.

...

stepping into the elevator, you looked at your reflection as the doors closed, almost forgetting to hit the button for the fifth floor in the midst of smoothing your hair down and fixing your slightly smeared eyeliner with your thumb.

closing your eyes, you lightly rubbed your temples in a sore attempt to bring yourself back to reality, and to emotionally prepare yourself.

you were seeing taesan again, finally.

you hid your blush from literally no one and smiled slightly into your hand as the elevator doors opened.

...

standing in front of the boy's door, the weight of the situation at hand truly hit you.

what exactly did you want from this?

what did you want from him?

if you ended up hurting him again you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself. huffing slightly, you brought a hand up to your neck to fiddle with your necklace and think.

your dazed yet racing thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the front door to taesan's apartment, door swinging back to reveal none other than the music major himself.

"hi" you smiled and spoke quietly.

even though he knew you were coming, the boy somehow still couldn't believe the sight in front of him. it was really you.

you looked as breathtaking as ever in his eyes, your hair a bit shorter than the last time he saw you. taesan caught himself and chuckled slightly, moving out of the way to make room for you.

"come in."

you blushed as you stepped into the apartment awkwardly, not sure what to do with yourself. the alcohol was still making your head spin, eyes adjusting slowly to the sight of taesan's living space. you slipped your shoes off quietly and followed the boy as he walked into the kitchen.

"do you want some water? or snacks? we have chips and fruit, unless sungho ate them all. i think we have some juice too...." taesan's high had clearly not worn off in the slightest, and the boy winced after realizing he rambled on about the contents of his pantry for a full 30 seconds.

you couldn't have cared less, eyes focused on how pretty his hair looked brushed down in his face. making eye contact with him, you noticed the red tint to them, giggling quietly.

"we also have -- are you even listening?" taesan smiled at your starry eyes as you shook your head and laughed.

"god y/n- okay let's just go sit down." he watched you eagerly turn around and nearly skip towards his living room couch, settling right in the middle of the sofa.

the couch cushions were soft as they rubbed slightly against the exposed skin of your legs. shivering slightly, you wished you'd worn a bit more than just a crop top and denim shorts.

your gaze traced the lines of the wood on his coffee table, thoughts lost and scattered. you were just as blown away at the sight of him as he was of you. you recalled the sight of his larger hands shoved in the pockets of his zip up, wondering what it would feel like to have them wrapped around your own.

you wriggled your socked toes to a beat only you could hear, trying to take your mind off of the nervousness flowing through your veins.

"here." you looked up quickly to see taesan standing in front of you, about an arms length away. "i brought you some water."

taesan bit his lip to keep himself from smiling at the sight of you on the sofa. he looked around awkwardly for a second, not sure where to sit -- you were in the middle of the couch and choosing either side of the sofa would leave him sitting directly next to you.

"why are you still standing? come sit." you tilted your head at him and patted the spot to your right softly, smiling up at the nervous boy.

sighing out in relief, taesan plopped down next to you and settled into the corner of the sofa. you turned slightly so you could face him as he spoke, glass of water abandoned on the coffee table.

"do you wanna watch a movie?" he asked.

"is it okay to turn on the tv this late?" you shyly responded

taesan's ears turned slightly red in embarrassment. he 100% forgot about his two other roommates sleeping soundly in their own rooms.

while they probably wouldn't mind the noise, taesan didn't want to have to explain why you of all people were in their living room at this very moment.

"if you're okay with it, we can watch something in my room, i can play it on my laptop." taesan spoke.

your cheeks burned slightly at the idea of seeing the boy's room but you hummed in agreement, standing up quickly. the sudden movement caused you to stumble a bit. taesan stood up after you, wrapping a hand around your arm in an attempt to steady you.

"are you okay?" he turned you to face him fully, hands resting lightly on your shoulders as he looked at you worriedly.

your breath hitched at the mere inches of space between the two of you. taesan's gaze left you speechless, and your eyes searched his face before landing on his lips.

for every minute that had passed since you sent that first fateful text message, the anticipation had been eating you alive. deciding you couldn't take it anymore, you pulled yourself up by the collar of the boy's hoodie and pressed your lips against his.

his mouth was plush and unmoving against yours and you let yourself close your eyes and savor the feeling for a moment before lowering yourself back onto your heels.

opening your eyes, you mentally geared yourself for the awkward conversation you feared was about to ensue. taesan, on the other hand, barely gave you a moment to breathe, chasing your lips the second they detached from his. slipping a hand behind your neck, he tilted his face down and sealed his lips over yours once again.

taesan's mind raced as he bit your bottom lip, wondering what this was going to lead to and if he'd regret it. he decided he couldn't care less when he felt you tilt your head to the side and push your tongue in his mouth.

you craned your face upward and grabbed the sides of his sweatshirt tightly, like he might disappear if you let go of him. you needed more of him.

you broke your lips from his for a split second to ask where his room was. taesan mumbled something you couldn't hear before pulling you by your shoulders. the boy's mouth didn't leave yours for a second, only pulling away to push his door open.

you opened your eyes slowly, looking up to meet the taller boy's hooded gaze. you turned around and took in the sight in front of you. taesan's bed was in the corner of the room, posters hung above a small desk. you smiled at the tangles of wires on the floor, leading to a small speaker system and bass guitar.

"gonna go turn off the lights and check the door." taesan's voice rasped. you hummed in acknowledgement and stepped forward into the room slowly.

you walked over and climbed onto the boy's bed, bringing your legs up so you could hug your knees. staring at your socked feet, your mind was completely blank. when taesan came back you were absentmindedly fixing your hair and shirt, not even noticing the boy's return.

"are you okay?" taesan asked softly.

you looked up to see his eyes on you, smiling at the way hands were politely tucked behind his back. he was nervous, hoping he didn't overstep or make you uncomfortable. taesan didn't think he could handle watching you run out his door a second time.

"okay?" you tilted your head in confusion.

"with this... being here with me." your heart panged with sadness, feeling so guilty for how you made him feel before. you wanted to make it up to him.

"i am. i want this. i promise, taesan." you watched taesan slowly process your words though his wavering high, smile forming on his face. his hands came up to push your legs down, and you scooted towards him, giggling and wrapping your legs are his standing figure.

taesan had abandoned his hoodie in the living room, now in a loose t-shirt. your hands scrunched the fabric of the graphic tee as you pulled the boy towards you again. taesan complied without a word, bending down to meet your awaiting lips. you moved your lips against his languidly, savoring each swipe of his tongue against yours.

taesan pushed your body backwards so he could climb on the bed with you. you scooted back until you were pressed against the headboard, only staying there for a second before taesan pulled you onto his lap.

his lips went to your neck, pressing soft kisses and grazing his teeth against the sensitive skin. with each kiss, bite, and swipe of his tongue against you, taesan could feel you practically melting into his lap. eyes screwed shut, your head leaned back to further expose your neck and your fingers tugged at the boy's hair.

you slightly pulled taesan's face away from you, bringing your hands to gingerly cup his face. his eyes were slightly glossed over as you placed a wet kiss on his lips.

the last traces of your sobriety were thrown out the window, both of you drunk off each other. taesan thought you looked like an angel, bringing a hand up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. your eyes formed crescents as you smiled at the boy, and he swore he almost stopped breathing.

your hand came up to rest over his that was still cupping your face, intertwining your fingers. bringing them closer to your face, you opened taesan's and placed a featherlight kiss in the center of his palm.

"what was that for?" taesan mumbled in between giggles as he watched you continue to play with his fingers.

"thank you." your voice wavered slightly, eyes looking up to meet his nervously. you laughed at the puzzled look on his face before continuing.

"for giving me a second chance and letting me come over." you sighed shakily under taesan's gaze. "i missed you, a lot."

"probably not as much as i missed you." taesan replied softly, squeezing your hands and tilting your chin up to meet your wide eyes.

the moment that passed between the two of you was long and drawn out, you savored the feeling of weight being lifted off your chest. trapped in his eyes and tucked in his arms, you couldn't fathom missing the chance to have han taesan like this.

as the thick silence dissolved and taesan's aching lips found yours again, the two of you knew staying away from each other was ill-fated from the start.

[bonus — 10:54 AM]

blinking the sleep from your eyes, you lazily searched taesan's fridge for a water bottle. as you shut the door, a loud crash abruptly pulled you out of your sleepy daze. coming face to face with myung jaehyun, you let out a yelp of surprise.

"no fucking way." he spoke. a bowl of dry cereal lay at his feet, contents now strewn across the kitchen tiles.

ears turning red, you realized how insane you must look: your hair was untied and messily brushed down and you were wearing nothing but an old tshirt and some boxers taesan had given you.

"what happe- oh god." taesan said from behind jaehyun, having rushed over to the kitchen to check on you. it was safe to say the last thing he expected was to see you and his roommate staring open mouthed at each other. flustered, taesan opened his mouth to explain, but jaehyun interrupted him with a loud sigh.

"fuck you tae, now i owe woonhak 20 bucks."

...

taglist: @iweirdthingsblog @yjwkisser @sulkygyu @enhyven

[misayani]

I LOVED UR SE-MI FIC! i was wondering if u could do another where the reader is homesick and has nightmares/ dreams about her friends and her home life and just going to se-mi's bed for comfort? (I hope this isn't too much trouble!!)

LOVE, MY WORLD IS FULL — SE-MI (PLAYER 380)

◜ pairing ... se-mi / player 380 x  fem reader

◜you wouldn't know what to do without se-mi. 

𔗨 author's note — had so much fun writing this <3 kinda unleashed my inner william shakespeareness in this one [lowercase intended]

♡ upcoming fic — g!p no-eul + reader

— comfort

you thought the games were harmless—bright colors, cheerful instructions, and an unassuming entry form. yet underneath all that promised fun lay a rather horrifying truth. you were blinded, not by sight but by your own naivety. 

how could you be so dumb? you should've known this game was sketchy ever since from the start, where they somehow made you all unconcious to bring to this place. where even are you? 

life is full of shit, you were fully aware of that, but you didn't expect it to be this shitty. tears started to form in your eyes as you thought of your dog, sparks, who's the reason why you're here. you didn't have any owe anyone money, you don't drag yourself to shit like that. but sparks was the dog your grandmother left you before she died, and unfortunately, sparks was recently diagnosed with congestive heart failure— he needed medical help. 

if someone can hear your thoughts right now, they'd probably laugh and tell you that it's just a dog, stop overreacting. but sparks wasn't just a dog. he grew up with you, he is family. he was the reason you kept going after your grandmother died, you could remember it—you locking yourself inside your room and not coming out for days, until you heard whines outside your door. shit, the dog. it annoyed you that you still needed to feed that dog. what's the point? he's gonna die anyways. just like everyone. 

a quiet sob escapes your mouth as your tears finally fall, from your eyes and onto the white sheets underneath you. you couldn't sleep, you were too bothered as to how so many people voted to stay in this game. you couldn't even even consider it a game, games were supposed to be fun. 

you voted to go home right after the first game, the staying team won. this night was after everyone voted for the second time, once again, the majority voted to stay. you find it funny— how money can have such an affect on people, but also at the same time, you couldn't blame the people who wanted to stay. maybe staying here was somehow better than their lives outside. they just had voted for their own 'lesser evil.' 

you needed someone right now. after being alone for 14 years, living independently, it was hard for you to bottle your feelings to yourself. the first person you can think of right now was se-mi. you had started talking to her before any of these games started, when the masked men just started explaining the rules and regulations. 

she was different, she understood you. she had asked you your reason to be here, you hesitantly told her, slightly embarassed but she didn't laugh or anything like that. she, in fact, smiled at your eagerness to win this game so you'd finally have some finance for your dog. well, that was before the games happened and before shit went down. 

you sniffle as you sit up and slip out of bed, every footstep quiet to not bother anyone sleeping. se-mi was just stairs ahead from you and you were surprised but relieved to see her still awake. she was laying on her back, staring towards the ceiling before she notices you and sits up to make room for you to sit down.

"hi," you start, gently sitting yourself down on her bed. 

"hi." she repeats, her eyes softening at the sight of your puffy eyes, "sparks?" 

you glanced at her, eyes wide as she managed to immediately caught onto whatever you were thinking. you nod, "i'm sorry for bothering you, just needed someone. and i thought you're the right person to approach."

se-mi's heart swells, she never had anyone tell her that before. you trusted her enough to see you vulnerable like this? she clears her throat before reassuring you, "it's no worries. i like talking to you anyways."

she scoots closer to sit beside you, planting her feet on the stairs beside the bunk bed. you fiddled with your fingers as you look down, before you hear her speak up. "i'm sorry for voting to stay."

you snap your head to look at her as you shake your head, "no, no. i don't— you don't have to say sorry for having freedom to choose whatever you want." you mutter.

"still, it was shitty for me to do that. i knew about your situation but i still vo—" you cut her off, "stop. it's not your fault. it's nobody's." she locks eyes with you as her lips part as if wanting to say something, until it closes again.

you sigh, "who cares if you were shitty. everything is shitty. life is shitty." you murmured, "life is shitty." she agrees, staring at your side profile. you noticed her in your peripheral vision and you get flustered, tipping your head down.

"it's hard." you glance at her again, seeing her eyes now staring forward as she spoke, "life outside. it's no different from here. some people say that life outside of here is easier, since you're not trapped in some unknown place. but i don't see how that is any different, aren't you still somehow trapped? not literally but figuratively." you hum, prompting her to continue.

"it's ironic how the ones with the heavy debts say that, as if they're not trapped in their own mistakes." se-mi chuckles beside you as you carefully listen to every word she's saying. talking to someone have always made you feel at peace— something that you don't feel often since you've never really communicated with anyone until now. 

"it's not about being physically imprisoned, but about feeling constrained in many ways, whether by circumstances, expectations, or some shit you dragged yourself into. in the end, no matter where you are, you can still feel confined. that's how i see it, atleast." she finishes.

you grab her hand that was closest to you, and started fidgeting with it instead of fiddling with your own fingers. her hand was warm but rough, in contrast to yours which was cold, but soft. "i understand." you murmur.

you both understood each other, and that alone was enough to provide you comfort. you admired her mindset, not just how  she thinks but how she embraces her own perspective with peace— her ability to see things from a different angle, yet still find peace in it. 

even if you both had casted your votings to two opposing things, there was an underspoken understanding between the two of you. despite the differences, se-mi and you shared a mutual respect, and that makes you so close to her. 

"thank you." you whispered, se-mi snaps her head to look at you, "for what?" 

"talking to me." you reply, "it feels nice to talk to someone like you, understanding but aren't scared to state their own opinion. i appreciate that so much. i haven't felt so understood in years." you feel tears well up in your eyes from getting emotional.

se-mi's lips form into a smile, "well i guess thank you too. you somehow make this place even more tolerable." she squeezes your hand that was holding hers. 

"cmon, stay with me tonight. i don't want to make you go back to bed like this." she tugs at your hand before leading you under her blanket—which started to smell like her— lifting the cloth over the both of you. 

you wanted to cuddle with her, but were too shy to initiate anything. lucky for you, se-mi opens her arms, pulling you towards her. your body relaxes as you feel her warm body spoon yours. you heard her mutter something on top of your head, "keep on being brave." she pauses before continuing,  "for sparks and me."

your once empty heart started to feel full again after this.

@misayani

[chappellroansdreamgirl]

ellie with a mean gf!

(prjoecting like a mf rn...)

a/n - i have been very unmotivated to write full-fleshed stuff so i'm deciding to write drabbles/headcannons for now. also THANK YOU FOR ALL THE ATTENTION ON CH.1 OF GOOD LUCK, BABE! it makes my heart smile that you guys love it so much... also😭😭...: @sweetcici11 srry that i lied and said ur fic would be out a few nights ago. i'm really trying to finish it but i don't want to rush it and it be shitty. i really want it to be enjoyable and as good as it can be. but i PROMISE you it WILL be posted... sooner or later! i also have a few more drafts to finish too, so, i hope you guys like them when they come out!!!!!

content warnings - fluff, i'm a bitch and i want to feel loved and think that someone can put up with my cuntiness😝😝 , over-usage of commas probably, i think they're low-key kind of toxic?!?!?!?! , guys i promise i'm not this bad i've just been pretty insufferable these last few days and need an outlet 😭😭 .

i wrote way more than i thought i was going to...

------------------------------------------------------------

- you both hated each other at first. ...well actually, you hated her, and she was like, "😞😞" and then got used to it after a while and started being mean back 2 u!!

- dina introduced ellie to you when you both were hanging out with her. "you guys are going to love each other🥰!" ... you didn't 🤗 !

- ellie said hi to you and all you did was look her up and down, stare at her for a few seconds and then turn your head.

- everytime ellie would (attempt to) strike up a conversation you would give an overtly enthusiastic response or just stare at her like she had two heads or just blatantly ignore her. dina is over there like, '😟😟 . can we not have one good day...' when dina would leave for short periods of time and ellie was sure that you didn't like her, she would just talk about anything to get your blood boiling, our girl lllloooovvveessss to push buttons, we know this to be true.

- it got worse yet more tolerable after that. whenever she'd see you at gatherings or parties, you'd do your damnest to stay away from/avoid her. and she'd do her damnest to get you as upset with her as possible. it always ended with not-so-playful not-so-friendly banter!

- you were talking with jesse about something on the couch, and ellie came over and DELIBERATELY, DELIBERATELY... interrupted you 🤗 ! :

you shoot daggers at her face with your eyes, your jaw set hard and your eyes narrowed.

ellie tried to feign innocence, raising a brow at you after she looked over to see your facial expressions long after she felt them.. "what are you looking at me like that for🤨🤨?" , "i was fucking talking, you're being rude." , "if i have to get used to you being a bitch, you got to do the same." , you just huffed at her response and crossed your arms before walking off a few minutes after, realizing that the conversation you were having with jesse earlier was indeed over. ellie smirked to herself, victory was her's!

- she started calling you the nickname brat out of the blue... it blindsided tf out of you. here's the origin story!:

you look at ellie with a disgusted look on your face as she exhales smoke. her glazed over eyes meet yours before she offers the joint to you, out of genuine kindness. "want a hit?" she asked, forgetting how much of a bitch you were for, like, 0.2 seconds. you glare at her for a moment longer before plastering a sarcastic smile on your face, snatching the joint from her fingertips and dropping it onto the floor. you kept her eyes on yours as you stomped and smushed it into the ground.

now she remembered.

she stood up instantaneously, she was pissed. "what the fuck?!" she shouted, earning a few looks from some friends across the room. they strained their necks for a little bit before they saw you, it made sense now, and then turned back to the conversation.

you close your eyes for a slight second as a satisfied smile graced the corners of your lips. "you know i don't smoke, ellie." you responded with in a condescendingly sweet voice.

she didn't even argue with you. "you're such a fuckin' brat." she muttered under her breath before walking away. you had to try your very best to ignore the heartbeat in your pussy. (🤗!)

- she didn't get to see how much effect that title had on you that night, but she noticed afterwards.

- one time you didn't say anything to ellie during a hangout, distracted by someone you disliked more than her. ellie kind of missed it☹️☹️ .

you were brought out of your thoughts when you felt her cold hand touch your shoulder. when you noticed it was her who was doing it, you pulled back with a furrow of her brows. ellie smiled. there she was.

"you haven't said one mean thing to me since i've gotten here. are you dying?"

you scoffed as you pointed in the direction your anger was radiating from. it was a girl ellie saw here and there in jackson, sometimes she was paired with her during patrols, she wasn't crazy about her but she paid no mind to her existence.

"what?- what does this have to do with me-"

"what it has to do with you, is that you should feel honored that i can tolerate you... can't fuckin' stand that bitch."

ellie scoffed before speaking up once more, "oh, c'mon you're being dramatic. don't be a brat."

your eyes went wide for a second and as you turned away, she could see the cheek that was facing her turn an embarrassing shade of red. she found your weakness.

- when you guys started dating, no one, and i mean NO ONE, believed it. (i don't feel like writing how u two got together maybe if y'all like this enough i'll make a full-fleshed oneshot abt it😭.)

- joel saw you guys together... like, not arguing, and HER head on YOUR shoulder... he thought he got laced with acid for a quick second there... jesse felt like he missed a couple chapters and felt very sad that he hadn't caught onto it quicker... and dina was so proud of herself, "told you, you guys would love each other 😁." she's so smug, I LOVE HER!

- she constantly has to reprimand you like you're a child when you guys are around someone you obviously don't like for whatever reason. once whoever left the room, ellie'll pinch your shoulder or your thigh, whatever skin is on display at the moment, not too hard, just to get you to wince a bit. you'll make a face at her afterwards. "ow, what the fuck was that for ellie?" , "we can talk shit when we get home, don't make a scene🙄." you stress her out sometimes...

- just bcs you guys are together DOES NOT mean your attitude has gone away.

whenever ellie and you have gotten in an argument, you're always being extra sarcastic and EXTRA BITCHY just to get on her nerves.

"baby, have you seen my gun?" she asks you, breaking the silence voluntarily as she's two minutes from being late to patrol.

you don't look up to her, you keep on looking at the pages of an old magazine. "idk ellie, did you check to see if it was shoved up your ass."

she just stands there for a second like this 🧍‍♀️ , before sighing and walking somewhere else to find it. "i'll fuckin' deal with you later." she mutters under her breath, obviously annoyed. you smirk to yourself as you flip another page.

- she does love, however, that you've gotten gentler with her since the relationship blossomed between you two. very few people (dina and ellie... sometimes jesse.) can get you to stop, and ellie is proud of herself that she could add beast-tamer to the top of her list of many skills and talents.

- sometimes she has to calm you down, sometimes all it takes is a stare in your direction. ... well, it's oftentimes a glare... you're your own woman/person and a relationship will not restrict you from showing off your talents!!!!!

- ellie has to constantly keep you from getting into arguments that could harm you physically. although your craft of bitchery is amazing, you can't fight to save your life.

she'll be pulling you back like an angry barking dog on a leash.

"i could've fucking took h-" , "you overestimate yourself a lot, baby."

[eloquentlytired]

18+ NSFW. MDNI.

fisherman! logan howlett x older! reader

word count: a lot

warning(s): smut, build up to smut, logan is 30 while the reader is in her 40s ( u choose how much ), cheating, logan is smitten with his beloved customer, reader has a daughter, and logan calls the reader mama sometimes bc she is indeed the best mama, reader’s husband is a dckhead if it makes u feel better, mentions of neglect and shitty behavior ( from husband ), but logan makes everything better, I LOWKEY LOVED WRITING THIS

note: I haven't written for older!reader before but I hope I didn't disappoint you my beloved anon! In the meantime I hope everyone enjoys reading this one if YES pls interact it'd make me happy🩷🥰 thank you always for the support !!!

There's nothing that makes Logan happier than doing the work he likes. It's a blessing to have found a small area he's fond of and an even bigger blessing to help out customers. Or to help you specifically.

Logan sees you for the first time when he opens the fish shop — it's the first one to open after the old one has shut down. You greet him with the sweetest smile while your daughter holds your hand.

“Good morning.” You tell him so kindly and your smile turns out to be contagious because Logan returns it instantly.

You ask him about his life and how he's ended up in this place while Logan prepares your groceries. He tells you but purposely leaves some things out of the way. It isn't wise of him to talk about his mutant abilities either way, he wouldn't want to scare you.

He finishes your order purposely slow but you don't tell him off, you don't even reprimand him for it. You smile and wave him off — and your sweet daughter does too.

After that he sees you many times. If he was a fool he'd assume that your diet is mostly sea food but no — Logan has caught on. And you have caught on his stares in return.

“My husband likes this but I much prefer tuna. I'm not sure why.” You tell him as you scan the new products he's stuffed his shop with.

Logan nods.

“Tuna is the best in my opinion.” He says.

“You really think so?” The way your eyes sparkle when you ask him, happy to just share something common with another person.

Logan is an absolute loser— “I really think so.” —and he actually despises tuna.

It's raining heavily when you enter his shop one day, drenched from head to toe. You're shivering while your hands are filled with shopping bags, making your shoulders fall because of the weight. Logan rushes to you — he was about to close up but it doesn't matter anymore — and takes the bags from your hands, stacking them on the counter of his shop.

“I’m sorry.” You tell him softly and Logan can hear the regret in your tone. “I know I shouldn't have come so late. I was trying to stack up the fridge because of the incoming storm. And I've left my daughter in the house alone too, my husband wouldn't pick up the phone—” He's heard that one before from you surely. The bastard.

You stop talking when Logan is suddenly by your side, wrapping a blanket around your shivering body. Your eyes meet and Logan prays that he stays sane through it all. Promises he hasn't noticed the way your long dress has become one with your skin or how the little mascara you've worn has run down your cheeks. Yet you look flawless to him.

“Hey.” Logan calls your name softly and you wonder when it's the last time you've heard someone say it like that, in that loving tone.

Logan doesn't speak your name to order you around to do his laundry or his food. Or the dishes. Or the chores. Or the gardening. Or...

His palm is warm when it settles on your shoulder and it pulls you off your trance. He's kind with his touch and with his gaze — Logan always has been with you. “I’ve got you.” He mutters and you break down in his arms.

Moments later, he's dragged you into the back of the shop and you sit on top of a counter wearing his clothes, sweatpants and a sweater, which barely fit. Logan is big— really big.

“I look ridiculous.” You say with a small chuckle but Logan's eyes regard you differently as he cooks. For you.

“You look perfect.” He whispers and it makes you freeze a little, makes you question everything that the golden ring around your finger stands for.

He notices, of course he does, but he doesn't mention it. Hell, Logan doesn't even think he cares when your husband is the way he is.

“Tell you what.” He suddenly says breaking the long silence. His hands move swiftly as he finishes preparing a giant portion of tuna and rice. You watch as he places the food in tupperware, counting the little boxes. “This is big enough to feed three people and coincidentally—” Both of you smile at the last word. “— we are two. And your daughter is one more, isn't she?”

Your heart beats fast within your chest and your tears prickle your eyes. It's perfect. It's too good to be true.

“I would hate for this food to go to waste and I'm sure the two of you are starving.” You watch him as he uses one hand to hold the food bag and the other to carry your other six shopping bags.

You move forward, hands reaching out so you can help him but Logan tuts instead and uses his knee to keep you back.

“I dare you.” He grumbles playfully and you nearly shudder because of the way he says it.

“You should respect your elders, Logan.” You manage to say between heavy breaths but all Logan does is feel amused.

He grins, then takes a step closer and you momentarily lose air when he leans too close. “Careful, mama. I wouldn't want you to be late.”

You stare at him still processing his words as he walks away to start his car. The ring around your finger feels weightless.

The dinner is good and you can't register a time when both you and your daughter have laughed so hard before. Dinner is usually dull, especially with your husband around, but you didn't even miss the good old times anymore. They were always overshadowed by the bad ones.

You watch as Logan plays with your daughter and your heart secretly flutters. Yearns for a different life than the one you have right now.

But it's too late, you think, and Logan could still build a good life with someone his age. Why would you even destroy that when he's been so good to you?

But then Logan turns to you and begins to talk. I'll do the dishes, don't you dare move. Stop thinking so much, you'll hurt your pretty mind. What a lucky girl to have a mama like this one.

So that's why you can't let go.

Your daughter is fast asleep. Husband nowhere in sight. No answers, no nothing.

Logan watches you from where he's doing the dishes, sitting on the couch and looking outside. You've drawn the curtains open to watch the rain. It's worrisome weather but it somehow soothes you.

“You worried about him?” Logan suddenly asks, taking you by surprise.

“I should be but I..” You shake your head and leave it at that. Logan understands.

There's more silence but it's not uncomfortable. There's no such word when Logan is around you, taking care of you. He wraps it up with the dishes and heads over to your stereo, fidgeting with it to find a signal.

“It won't work, Lo. Leave it.” You tell him softly and the petname makes him want to drop dead. In a good way of course.

Logan doesn't listen — he searches and searches. Then he finds it and turns to you with a wide grin in his face as if expecting some sort of praise.

Instead, he walks to you while the unknown beat of jazz fills the living room and offers you his hand.

“I don't think we should..” Your voice trails off when Logan doesn't budge. He simply won't.

You take his hand as he pulls you to the center of the room and slides an arm around your waist being so carefully. You rest your hand on his shoulder while your other two intertwine.

He sways with you and you sway with him. There's rhythm, there's harmony. There's something there you haven't had for over a decade and although Logan could have anybody else in this world, he looks most content there. With you.

“There are many people out there for you.” You begin to say as he leans his head closer to yours.

He doesn't reply so you insist.

“People your age. As old as you are—” Logan spins you around and then presses his chest against your back. You're somehow all over him, moving against him.

Both of his hands move to your waist and Logan takes the courage to press his lips against the spot behind your ear.

“I hate tuna.” Logan mumbles, his voice raspy and filled with need. His next actions shock you as he slides one of his hands over yours and strokes over your wedding ring. Logan grips it, removes it and lifts it to your eye level. “But I hate this more.”

The moment he tosses it away, he turns you around and his eyes speak so many things. Need. Desperation. Love. Struggle.

“Wear it back and I'll leave. Don't—” He swallows nervously. “—and I'll make you happy, mama. I swear I will.” But you've never doubted that for a second.

You stare at the carpet, at that little golden band shimmering somewhere. Then back at Logan.

“I’ll hold you back. You'll get bored with me, of me. Having me and my daughter— you won't—”

Logan kisses you because he can't stand listening. But he also can't stand holding back anymore.

The surprise is momentary as you squeeze your arms around his shoulders, struggling to fit all of him into a hug. Logan surprises you more when he uses a single arm to pick you up by your hips, your legs instinctively locking around his waist.

“Lo—”

You're more desperate than he is and for so many different reasons. He carries you to the nearest efficient surface — the dining table — and sits you there carefully.

Your eyes lock for a moment as Logan steals another kiss from you. “You want the ring?” He asks and you almost laugh. Fuck the ring.

You're the one who initiates the next kiss, tilting your head to deepen the action. Your hands tremble with excitement, Logan's tremble because he's never touched such a beautiful woman before in his entire life. His woman.

He's quick with your his clothes although a little messy. You can feel his excitement but also his nerves shifting as he reaches for your bra next, struggling to take it off.

“Easy.” You whisper against his lips and Logan is surely dead, must be dreaming. The hook never comes off because Logan rips the front of your bra with his bare hands and disregards it like it's nothing.

You can feel yourself physically react, cunt clenching around nothing although you want it to be around him. Now.

He's right here, your arms wrapped around his head as Logan takes a bud into his mouth and sucks. You react by whimpering softly and Logan sucks harder as his hand occupies your other breast, fondling it within his fingers.

The attention on your chest makes you weak, you love it. You're sensitive, he murmurs before grazing your nipple with his teeth. “I need more.” You find the courage to tell him and Logan nods because so does he.

His fingers grip your panties and rip it too — he has no control over that. It's like a primal urge to do it.

“How long?” Logan asks as he rubs two fingers across your cunt, parting your lips teasingly before releasing them. Every motion offers a wet noise from you. It's embarrassing.

“I don't remember.” You answer and it's all he needs to know to confirm about the failure your husband is.

You watch Logan drop to his knees. His eyes are blown wide with lust and his mouth parts as if starving. You realize what he wants and that he's been craving this moment since forever. The thought alone makes you shiver.

“I have never—” done this, you want to tell him but Logan let's his youth take over his reactions.

His hands are strong around your thighs, they're secure and sure. He won't drop you and you fucking know it as he guides your lower half over his face and sits you down hard.

Your hands shoot up to cover your mouth.

Logan mouths against your pussy before parting your folds with his tongue, dragging it high and low. Your hips shake and he flexes his fingers around your thighs, squeezing every skin he can get.

He licks everywhere. All of you.

His face gets buried into your weeping pussy as his nose grinds against your clit and his tongue circles your entrance teasingly slow. There's too much coming out of you, you're like an endless stream, and Logan isn't afraid to taste every drop.

It becomes worse when he distances you from the table and your legs dangle off the floor. You stare wide eyed because your only means of support is Logan's hands on your hips oh — and his face which has basically turned into your personal seat.

“Logan wait—” You yelp but your voice is muffled by your hands.

Logan doesn't listen, doesn't even pull away to breathe. The man is starved and there's only one thing he wants to achieve — to eat you whole.

You've given up trying to reason with him especially when he eats you out this way. You move your hips fast and are desperate to reach your peak. Logan's fingers tighten around your thighs as he guides your thrusts, moaning while you ride his face.

You bite your lip as you throw your head back and arch your entire body, thighs shaking around Logan's head. He wiggles his tongue against your clit as you orgasm, the stimulation of your bud making your entire body quiver.

He's got you, hands steadier than ever and keeping you safe, as you come.

When he slowly pulls you off, you look down at him but the concern melts away. You stare at his face and faint beard covered by your slick. It's not embarrassing anymore — it's different. You can't have enough.

The door of your marital bedroom is shut and locked firmly. Whatever shame or guilt you might have felt at the start, it doesn't exist anymore.

Your legs dangle on Logan's shoulders as he pounds you, his cock rummaging through your tight walls and hitting spots you didn't even know existed. Not like this.

His balls are heavy again and full of the load he wants to fill you with. But it's been hours like this and he hasn't stopped — Logan is something else.

“You think you can fit one more for me? Let me fill you up?” His lips brush against your ear and you shiver. You nod, lips fallen wide for sometime now and blabbering incoherent words. Logan only catches the more leaving your lips.

His hands keep your legs risen and over his shoulders as he fucks you, his balls smacking against your skin with each pound. They're covered in cum too because of how many times Logan has filled you, some of it pouring out.

It's too much but at the same time not nearly enough.

Your hands twist the bedsheets beneath you and you look at him — silently pleading with him to swallow your noises. Logan knows and his lips find yours, silencing you just in time as he comes again and pours his seed into you for the last time.

His heels dig against the bed because it's so intense as you squeeze around him and use one of your hands to toy with your over sensitive clit, feeling it all. Taking everything in.

“Logan.” You moan against the kisses and he grunts softly, swallowing every sound and word. You come around his cock with a shuddering gasp again and Logan releases your legs to wrap his arms around you, pulling you into him.

Your hands move enough to grip his bare shoulders, scratching them.

“Ride it out. So good.” Logan pants while squeezing you by your waist, lying on his side and dragging you with him.

He guides your hip around him, letting his hand linger there as his cock softens within you.

“There she is.” Logan whispers, looking at you. Seeing you receiving pleasure is one thing but to witness your peaceful expression, looking so content and happy... How could Logan ever let go of that?

You grab a hold of the hand that caresses your thigh and bring it to your lips. Logan watches you as you kiss every space between and on top of his knuckles, eyes fluttering. Your gaze lingers and so does his.

“You know.” He states after a while, nose brushing against yours.

“I know.” You reply and his heart jumps a little; not knowing if it's good or bad that you've discovered his true nature. His mutant side.

You kiss him, slow and gentle.

“You’re beautiful.” Is the answer that slips out of your lips and Logan wants to take you all over again but he doesn't. It isn't his intention to break you in such little time — now is just the start.

His strong arms pull you close and he blindly reaches for something. A blanket. He covers you with it and when your eyes meet again, Logan nudges your nose with his.

“You’re so perfect.” He says, voice raspy per usual, and kisses your face. Your cheeks, your nose, your forehead. “Gonna fucking die for you. Kill too.”

Your heart fills with affection and love. Your worries and the demons keeping you away from him are long gone now — Logan is right there. He's chosen you like you've chosen him. There's only one thing left to do.

“You happen to have two spots open in your heart?” You ask him and Logan smiles — it's the widest smile you've ever seen from him.

He nods.

“Just two? We can make it more than that. If you want I'll make you a mama again right now—” He's blowing raspberries at your nape as you wiggle, supposedly trying to shake away from his grip. That hollow room is filled with laughter after years of dullness.

Like you've said.

There's only one thing left to do.

[princessbrunette]

omggg i adore kitty!reader so much shes so !! me !!! how do u think jayj would put her in her place … i feel like whenever shes having her mini tantrums people get equally as frustrated bc she gets feisty but jj has like .. magic on him or something 💭

"⭒˚｡⋆🍡⋆⭒˚｡"

you’d been in a bad mood since coming home from work. bartending wasn’t for the weak, especially when the locals constantly harassed you and berated your drink pouring skills — which was mostly put down to being a woman. by the time you get back to jj’s empty house, the blonde sat on his messy porch with a bottle of beer when you got back — you had quite the attitude.

“if it ain’t my favourite bartender. how’s m’girl, come over here.” he opens his arms and you storm right past making his brows shoot up, lips pressed together as he adjusts his cap. “alrighty, guess someone’s in a mood.” he pushes up onto his feet, swaggering in through the open door.

“‘somethin’ happen? what’s up?” he calls after you, spotting you in the kitchen angrily opening and closing cupboard doors as you try to make yourself something to eat.

“where is my plate?” you demand, clearly frustrated. he blinks, thinking back to your special plate that you always ate off. some cutesy antique thing you found at a yard sale, a beloved item of yours. he silently winces, eyeing it sat in the sink, soaking in bubbles.

“yeah uh, so basically i ate my lunch off it ‘cus i forgot to do the dishes, uh — again. that’s my bad. i got paper plates you can use? great thing about those is that when you’re done with ‘em you don’t gotta wash ‘em. you just throw ‘em away. makes me wonder why we even buy regular plates in the first pl—”

“no i don’t want a paper plate jj j want my plate! i just want to eat my food and— and you’re here just— just—” you explode, still refusing to offer him even a glance as you continue hunting for something to eat your leftovers off.

“hey, hey— put them claws away kittycat. no need for that. c’mon pretty girl where’s that smile?”

you spin around, fists balled at your side, tears of anger in your eyes.

“dont tell me to smile! go away!” you yell before turning away with a loud huff. jj drops his head down, tongue in his cheek as he nods, thinking for a moment before approaching slowly.

“easy, alright? you’re not gonna take that tone with me, mama i’m on your side.” as he speaks, you feel the warmth of his front press to your back, an arm cautiously sliding around your waist to keep you stable. his other arm snakes around your neck, pulling you into a light headlock, just enough pressure to ground you. he lowers his head to talk into your ear as you stare directly at the cabinet, already melting a little against him. “you wanna talk ‘bout your day? y’already know i’m all ears baby. but you gotta watch that attitude, yeah? you’re home now, i’m here. just… dial it back.”

there’s some silence, and you nod — releasing a shaky breath as you feel some of the grossness from your day leave your body. “uh-huh, that’s all you needed wasn’t it babydoll? needed to be told. that’s okay, i get it.” he kisses your temple before removing his arm from your neck, using both hands to squeeze your waist and turn you around.

the gaze he receives from you is nothing short of guilty, doll-like eyes blinking up at him slowly as you take deep breaths. “now what you’re gonna do, is sit that cute lil ass down and let me fix you up a plate. you’re gonna eat that shit, then, you’re gonna talk to me about your day,” he walks you backwards until your legs hit the chair at the table and you drop down to sit in it. he leans forward, hands cupping your cheeks. “and after that, oh i’mma fuck the shit out of you. like, you’re not even gonna remember what day of the week it is— let alone what shitty customers ran their mouth at you today. that sound good?”

“yes, jj.” you respond, pupils pretty much taking up your whole eye like an entertained kitten.

“thats what i like to hear, ma’am. alright, wait there. i got you.”

"⭒˚｡⋆🍡⋆⭒˚｡"

[cheesec4kee]

they’re just nostalgia ⸺ CL¹⁶ ୨୧

you’ve always been the light in charles life. but he knows that if he wants to beat his childhood rival, he’ll have to let you go— even if it’s hard for him, he knows he can’t afford any distractions.

[ warnings ! ] : gn reader, brief mentions of alcohol, angst-ish ??, use of y/n once, poorly written

[ a/n ] : first time writing angst, so please don’t judge LMAO. based on the song ‘answer’ by Tyler the creator, and I initially wrote this as a joke but I needed something to post so there’s that. . anw hope u enjoy this !! (reblogs very much appreciated btw !!)

⸺ angst under the cut

he fumbled with the keys in his hands, hastily unlocking the door to the apartment that he shared with you. he closed the door quietly, sucking in a breath as he sees you sat on the couch— reading a book.

he’s greeted with a smile, and it nearly broke him. he loves you— he truly does, but not over his dream. to beat his childhood rival. he simply couldn’t let his efforts go of waste.

“how was practice?” you questioned, a soft smile tugging the corner of your lips, as he watched you close your book and set it down beside you on the couch.

“it was.. it was okay.” he mumbled with hands in his pockets as he avoided your gaze. he felt bad. you were everything he ever wanted— he felt stupid for even doing this. for choosing his dream over you.

“hey— uh, I think..”

“I think we should break up,” he murmured, his voice a mere octave above a whisper. shifting his weight from one leg to another uncomfortably, he cleared his throat awkwardly.

you were the light and joy in his life, and he knows it. you’re the only thing he looks forward to seeing after a shitty race, or after a bad qualifying. he’d search for you in the crowd, wanting to engulf himself purely in the warmth you provide.

his words hung in the air, the tension of emotions thick.

“why? what went wrong?” you managed to muster out, your voice coming out shakier than you thought it would be.

he stayed silent for a minute, before clearing his throat— his eyes boring into yours. “I found someone else,” he lies, his gaze softening— but you could tell that it had a distant look, like his mind was wandering elsewhere.

his words were like daggers being thrown on your heart, piercing right through it.

as tears welled up in your eyes, a wave of emotions washed over you. confusion, insecurity, and betrayal. you couldn’t help but start to question your worth to him. did you really mean something to him all this time, or was that all just a lie? you knew Charles was popular among the ladies. he was a good looking man, surrounded with women with scarcely credible beauty.

but you were hoping that the bond you two had was special, that it could resist any temptations you, or Charles had towards any other men or women. Charles was a beacon of light in your life, and you were his. you truly did believe that the connection between you two was strong enough to overcome any obstacles.

with a heavy heart, you knew you had to face the harsh reality of his confession. you knew you had to muster up the strength within you to let him go.

you couldn’t force someone to love you, after all.

“I swear, I loved you at some point but—”

“..I understand.” you cut him off and wiped your tears, swallowing back the tears threatening to spill out.

“I’ll pack my things.”

for the past few days after the breakup, Charles struggled to get rid of the memories that you left in his apartment. he struggled to get rid of the paintings the two of you made for fun, hell— he struggled to change his lock screen which was you.

he kept making excuses, excuses to not remove that little widget in his phone that was a photo of you— the photo he took secretly.

he could only stare at his lock screen, the guilt washing over him whenever he turned on his phone to see you. he could feel the nostalgia, his stomach churning uncomfortably.

he’s standing on the podium, lifting and glancing at the trophy he earned while reminiscing the memories and moments the two of you shared together, he could imagine how proud you would’ve looked at this very moment. he felt stupid for wishing that you were here even though he was the one who broke things off.

winning doesn’t feel the same without you. he misses the way you’d squeeze him so tight when he won, the heat radiating off of you— he doesn’t feel as happy as he usually would. it felt like that winning simply wasn’t worth it without you there to congratulate him.

he has the urge to message you. to ask you how you’ve been, if you were doing much better without him, but he knew he couldn’t. not after what he did to you.

he walks off the podium, his clothes reeking of champagne as he heads to the garage— before noticing his teammate, a wide smile on his face as he comes to congratulate him.

“you did well out there,” Carlos grins, wrapping a arm around Charles shoulder, squeezing him slightly.

Charles simply smiles, muttering a quiet ‘thanks’— though Carlos knows something was up. it was obvious for everyone that Charles seemed odd, seemed distant.

“you’re not gonna tell y/n about this?” he questions, raising an eyebrow as he pulls his arm away, noticing how stiff Charles was despite managing to win first after a while.

Charles stays quiet for a minute, before responding, “I’d call them, but—” Charles pauses, sucking in a breath and glancing at his teammate, before adverting his gaze elsewhere.

“they’re just nostalgia.”

[redr0sewrites]

Blade x reader General Headcanons (sfw + nsfw)

*gently hands this to you and then scuttles away like a large cockroach* not proofread so yea <\\\3 u can tell i have a blade bias <3

🥀CW: a little angst, blade is Bad At Feelings ™️, reader is sorta assumed to be a stellaron hunter, dom/sub dynamics in the nsfw, switch!blade, knife kink/pain kink, just filth tbh

🥀 minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw!

we all know bladie is RIDICULOUSLY emotionally constipated- if he likes you, he is in COMPLETE AND UTTER DENIAL

he will be staring into ur soul like he hates ur guts but the whole time his heart is pounding out of his chest

he has a very stoic face, it takes a while for u to learn to read him 😭

tbh ud prob think that he hates u for a while cuz he just stares at u

once u both get over the initial awkwardness of him constantly looming over u and hovering around u and staring at u, and once u realized that no, hes not creepy or insane he just wants to be around u, u guys would probably become close friends pretty quickly!

i dont think hes the type to jump into a relationship, his commitment issues get in the way

u would DEF have to be friends first, but he would still be enamoured with u

very observant, he notices all of the little things u do

one of the very first things that tips u off to the fact that he has romantic feelings towards u would probably simply be the fact that he literally cares SO MUCH about ur life and routine

hes memorized ur schedule, how u make ur coffee/tea, what ur favorite movies and shows are, he can tell when ur sad or stressed, he just finds comfort in learning details about u

he prefers to listen in conversation rather than speak, he can listen to u for hours

if u like something or are interested in something, suddenly he is too and he wants to learn all about it

at this point all the other stellaron hunters are rooting for u two to get together

kafka would try to set u both up like all the time

shes never seen blade so devoted to someone

whenever u walk in the room, he always seems to light up a little in excitement

i honestly feel like he would confess first but only for the sake of kafka not telling u before he does💀

it would probably be after an especially tiring or exhausting mission, after the maras been making him feel shitty

blade always feels so safe around u and he would just suddenly blurt out the fact that hes in love with u

after the initial shock, when u tell him the feelings are reciprocated hes ECSTATIC

but wont show it

he'll just let out a small (but cute): smile and nod

kafka, sam, and silverwolf are in the background recording the whole thing 💀

hes awkward at first

SUCKS AT PHYSICAL CONTACT TBH

blade's love language is def acts of service

he loves doing things for you and he loves helping u, it makes him proud to know that he can help make u feel safe

will fucking destroy anyone who hurts u

like actually destroy

nobody had ever seen blade so angry or ruthless as the day u were hurt on a mission

afterwords hes cradling u in his arms, clinging to u like ur gonna disappear😭

he knows how fleeting mortal lives are and hes genuinely so afraid of losing u

hes not good at talking things out or expressing his feelings

hes also not great at apologizing but he will try for u and only for u

arguments with him kinda suck cuz he can be stubborn and doesn't understand emotions

blade would feel terrible afterwards tho

would probably sit next to u and just take ur hands in a silent apology and gently run his thumb in a soft circle on ur palm

he likes it when u wear his clothes, he can be possessive and seeing u in his (probably much larger) clothes makes him a little feral

overall, u guys have ur ups and downs, but are ultimately a power couple and he loves u sm what can i do to find me a blade smh

nsfw!

SWITCH ENERGY‼️

when hes dom, hes MEAN

blade can talk so filthy sometimes, his voice is so deep and rough and when hes got you folded in half, ruthlessly pounding into u theres nothing u love to hear more than his scornful voice switching from degradation to praise <3

into marking on both ends, he loves seeing u covered in hickeys and scratches but also enjoys being littered in stinging marks for him to admire later

i feel like blade would like positions where he can be close to u when hes dominant, such as mating press or missionary

SIZE KINK! if ur smaller thank him, he love love LOVES to use his larger stature and weight to pin u down

seeing u squirm and writhe helplessly beneath him turns him on

will pin ur wrists above ur head, leaning down to whisper the filthiest words in ur ear, the entire time his cock is thrusting so fast in and out of ur leaking hole, ur mind is melting to mush at the stimulation. on top of that, his free hand is roughly playing with ur cock/clit, while he nips and bites roughly at ur neck. its all so much, too much...

rahh i went off there for a sec

anyways <3

blade wouldn't understand the hype to exhibitionism until the both of u got together

the two of u r fucking in a storage closet while people outside r just continuing their everyday lives, his hand clamped roughly over ur mouth to silence u, but that doesnt stop his own breathy moans and growls from slipping through

i also think blade would have a knife kink, hed find sick, twisted pleasure in running a knife over ur soft skin as u squirm

hed never actually hurt u, he could never do that

u both def have a safeword

but the idea is still arousing

he isnt as vocal when dom when hes sub, when hes dom its more low growls and groans and moans while when hes sub its more moaning and whimpers and whines

when hes sub, hes so into pain

if u pull his hair, this man will immediately submit

HE HAS AN ORAL FIXATION IF U HAVE A COCK HE WOULD ADORE TO SPEND EVERY WAKING HOUR SUCKING ON IT. if ur exhausted and want to keep blade occupied (cuz his stamjna is INSANE), give him two of ur fingers to suck on<3

he just looks so pretty with ur fingers in his mouth, a small trickle of drool leaking past his parted lips as he stares up at u in utter adoration with lust filled eyes

blade is SO LOUD when u fuck him from behind, he doesnt know why he just finds it so hot

he also has a reverse size kink, someone as small as u taking control of him and using him for ur own pleasure is such a turn on

he has such insane stamina, he could have u fucking him for literal hours and still want more

esp when hes sub, there needs to be a lot of foreplay leading up to the actual sex or else he will be needy for like ever

is actually so touch starved its funny, when the two of u had ur first time where he was sub he came in under a minute

he was super embarrassed, even tho u found it super hot

blade can be a tease if he wants to be, sending u photos of him naked with his hand wrapped around his aching cock, eyes blown wide with lust<3

he thinks punishments are hot, but prefers to be praised and pampered

call him a good boy, he will MELT

he wants to be good for u so much, he needs u to get himself off its almost pathetic :( he cant cum without u there helping him, whenever hes needy and ur not around he always ends up in a puddle of his own arousal, his release slipping away as soon as it begins to build. his cock is aching, he needs u, he cant even get off alone

after sex is when hes most vulnerable, blade is very kinky and mellow after sex esp when he was sub

big on aftercare, deep down he wants to be taken care of and held

he also loves taking care of u, loves washing u as u bathe together after a rough night of lovemaking

he loves it when u mark his chest cuz he can show it off the next day

blade wants everyone to know ur his, and vice versa

THIS GOT SO LONG WTF???

BARK BARK BARK can u tell i have such a big fat stupid fucking blade bias hes so silly i love this goofy man sm i need to pepper him with kisses and then fuck him senseless 😔

[dronebiscuitbat]

Give me a Reason: Chapter 19 - "Best Freind"

N: U sure ur okay?

Uzi sighed as she crashed into her mattress, body feeling sore and head full of cotton balls. Tessa had just pulled out of the driveway and N was already texting her.

She wasn't sure when they'd actually become friends, maybe somewhere between ghost hunting and getting kicked in the gut she'd somehow made that connection. But she was absolutely not used to someone being this worried.

He'd incessantly asked what had happened for her to get so injured. And she'd incessantly deflected, either saying that it was nothing serious- which was bullshit, it hurt like hell. Or, at the cost of her ego- she lied and said it was an accident.

She just wasn't sure how he'd react to the truth, he'd probably be even more worried then, knowing that someone did this to her on purpose.

Or… he'd laugh at her. Because she was weak, because she'd put herself in a vulnerable position and then couldn't take a little pain an-

N: You can talk to me.

N: No pressure.

N: Just worried about you :(

The new messages stopped that train of thought. No. He wouldn't laugh. Even her chronic cynicism couldn't convince her of that.

Finally, instead of staring at his messages, she responded.

Uzi: Promise you won't say anything? Or laugh.

N: Promise

She sighed, here goes nothing…

Uzi: I got kicked in the stomach, u know how I seemed upset that I knew someone in my math class? It was them.

The reply actually took a minute to come back.

And that was because N had all of air knocked out of him at that reply. She'd been hit? Purposefully? And hard enough to give her a serious injury? Why? She was so nice! And cool!

N: Who?

Uzi: Lizzy, she's a teachers aid now, but she was in my class last year.

Uzi: It's not the first time she's thrown a punch, just caught me off gaurd this time.

Once again, N was floored, a teachers aid!?

N: I'd never laugh at you. But you should report her, she shouldn't be working with students if she thinks that's okay.

Uzi huffed through her nose, a half-laugh that was drenched in a depressing kind of acceptance.

Uzi: It's not like they'd believe me. I'm not exactly a model student.

She sat her phone down and shucked off her jacket and beanie, hissing as her side throbbed dully. This had been such a day…

Her hand instinctually reached for her stash drawer before she even realized, and in another, she was looking at it's false bottom.

As tempting as it was- and it was very tempting. Drug mixing wasn't smart even if one of them was just an over-the-counter pain reliever, and adding a bad trip on an already shitty day didn't sound fun.

So instead she wrapped herself in the biggest, comfiest shirt she could find and grabbed her laptop, maybe she could distract herself with YouTube.

N: What do you mean by that?

Oh right, she'd never mentioned the fact she'd been held back to him, whoops.

Uzi: I was held back a year. I'm 19.

N: Oh wow! You're older then me!

N: Still it can't have been that bad. Failing a class isn't a reason to not belive you.

Uzi smirked, fingers clicking on the keys of her laptop as she tried to find something to watch- settling on an analysis video of one of the shows she was watching.

Uzi: I was high in class and a teacher called the campus police.

It took nearly twenty minutes for him to respond to that.

N:Sorry, got home and had to get up to my room.

N:You were WHAT?!

N: That's a crime!

Uzi: And so is trespassing on JCJenson private property to ghost hunt.

N blushed, now laying on his bed in a grey pajama shirt and pants with dogs printed on them, he held his phone close to his face as he grumbled, she had him there, but that hadn't really felt like a crime at the time…

N: I think you're a bad influence.

N: Also you're deflecting, drugs are bad! And unhealthy!

Uzi rolled her eyes at that, he wasn't the first person to tell her that. But you know what was worse? Dealing with herself unmedicated, without her stash, her head just got fuzzier and fuzzier, and before she knew it… she'd be having a full mental meltdown at the slightest provocation. Which she hated, she never felt like herself during those…

Uzi: Probably. But you see why they won't believe me over miss perfect.

N: Yeah okay, now I'm gonna be worried tho. I don't want you being hurt.

She smiled at that, this boy was so endlessly empathetic, and thankfully, her unloading some not-so-great facts about herself didn't seem to put him off either.

Uzi: Ew, don't worry over me. That's gay.

And yet she couldn't help but make a joke over it.

N: ???

N: how?

N: how does my worry make me gay?

Uzi: It's not manly.

Uzi: Empathy is a girly emotion.

She was snickering to herself, she didn't actually believe that of course, but she could almost see his reaction to it. That stupid, confused and amused smile that he wore when she made a particularly dumb joke.

N: Guess I'm gay then.

N: Cause I'm always going to worry. You're my freind.

N:Best Freind?

Her heart fluttered full of butterflies at that. Is that what he wanted? From her? She was so convinced he'd find someone else to hang out with but here he was, asking to continue this…

Whatever this was.

Uzi: Always knew I'd end up with a gay best freind.

Uzi: u can't borrow my makeup.

N: Awww, but it would look so good on me!

Uzi thought about that for a moment, imagining N with dark eyeshadow, lipstick, and black nails, and she about choked, she wasn't sure if it was funny or weirdly attractive.

Uzi: Dude that mental image.

Uzi: It's so cursed, I about choked.

N: Blursed

N: It's Blessed and Cursed

The conversation continued, the fuzz in her head slowly dissipating even without the assistance of her stash, and it continued late into the night… up until she heard Khan pull onto the driveway at 2am.

Uzi: Oh god, it's 2am. We need to sleep.

N: I didn't realize! We're gonna be zombies…

Uzi: More of a zombie u mean?

N: Yeh. U still in pain? Are u going to sleep ohay?

N: Okay* oof, sleepy fingers.

Even while about to pass out. He was still worried…

Uzi: I'm okay, pain isn't bad. U need sleep N

N: Ok, text you tmmrow, Uzi. Goodnight.

Uzi: Night N.

[seireitonin]

Grlll imma need some moreJeff content. Idk what exactly but I need it, maybe some romantic/ normal headcannons. Whateva u do I will rlly appreciate it and love it

Omg my first boyfriend ever, Jeff!!!! I’m starting to love him all over again he’s so nostalgic! Anyway in no specific order here are more hcs for him! I used Nina as an example of how he views/ thinks of being in relationships (once again I hc Nina as black)

Jeff is 30 years old

Him and Toby were born the same year but Jeff is a little older

Despite what everybody thinks Jeff is capable of love

But his love isn’t normal or kind

His love is intense obsession and admiration in a way

For example in his own way he really did love Nina

But he’s just such a bad person that he couldn’t or rather refused to properly show it

He admired the was she threw her life away for him he admired the way she was willing to let him run her life for so many years

He was obsessed with her in his own way, the way she worshiped him making him feel like he was above everyone

Nina left him after coming to her senses though, and he constantly plots on how to break her down and get her back, despite being with Toby now

He is very protective over the people he cares about though

Willing to kill anyone who even makes them feel slightly bad

His obsession will make him very possessive

Why would you need anyone but him anyway? He’s literally Gods gift to Earth

You should be happy he loves you this much

He’s very smart with his words and actions

He’s very calculating and cunning

Part of this manipulation to make people stay is because he actually does crave genuine connection in his own way

He just doesn’t know how to do that

He’s always been rude, antisocial, blunt and self serving

All that being worse now that he’s a murderer

He can’t ever change. Not that he wants to

So instead of trying to change he’ll just use his smarts and tactics

He loves the way he is why should he have to change for anyone?

He still thinks of Nina even though he won’t ever admit it

He remembers the nights he’d hold her close and he’d feel her warmth

He remembers how he’d get her small things for her birthday and how her face would light up, shocked that he even remembered

“Hey, got you something”

He throws it towards her

“Jeff! Brass knuckle necklaces?! I love them! How’d you get these!”

“Killed their original owner. You’re welcome. You don’t know how hard it is to find people with shitty taste like yours.”

Nina doesn’t even care about the insult as she excitedly tries on her new jewelry

He remembered how they’d encourage each other toxic and self destructive self serving behaviors

“Wanna rob that Hot Topic?”

“Yes!!!”

“Okay let’s go stab someone so the rest run and we can raid the place.”

“Yay! I love you!”

“I love me too”

He remembers how they were partners in crime together

He misses her smile and bubbly personality

He remembers how Nina would do what he said because they loved each other the same way

Deep obsessive admiration and impulsivity

He remembered when they kissed for the first time

It was rare that he showed affection to her or touched her at all but when they did it solidified in his mind that she was given to him by God himself. He deserved her. She was made for him.

He’d never felt so right. He never thought anyone would make him feel the way she did. She’s perfect to him. Even though he’d never say that. Can’t have her thinking that they’re on the same level

Some nights he’d just stare at her while she slept, touching her skin that felt just like his. Even leaving soft, bloody kisses on it.

He’d only do this when she slept, not wanting her to see him vulnerable or affectionate at all.

“So beautiful. Just like me. Just the way I made you.” He’d say as he traced the permanent smile on her cheeks and her burned dark golden brown skin

God he hates Toby for taking that away from him

Nina and Jeff were perfect together in his eyes

He hates Toby for telling her different and showing her stupid healthy love

Toby took away Nina, Jeff’s God given right.

He should’ve killed Toby when he had the chance

Nina started becoming more “boring” the moment they started talking with each other

Then one day she fought Jeff and left him completely

He should’ve killed Nina too

How could she do that to him? She was his in every sense of the word

He made her

Made her to be just like him

But Toby told her that was “manipulation” and took her from him

He hates them both and is plotting revenge every day

He was actually really close with Toby

So he feels betrayed by 2 people he cared about

His face is severely infected because every time his scars start to heal or close, he opens them right back up

They only get more beautiful each time in his eyes

His hair is long and goes to his mid back

It’s tangled and messy and unkept

Listens to metal music a lot

Actually gets some ideas about how to kill from metal music’s lyrics

Knows Liu is alive

Has mixed feelings about it

On one hand, he loves and misses him

On the other he sees Liu as a failed job of his and finds it insulting that he’s still alive

So he just avoids him until he can’t anymore

“Hey brother, remember me?”

“How could I forget the only person who I failed to kill?”

“You’re a piece of shit, Jeff”

“You’re making me blush, Liu”

They still banter and talk to each other like brothers

They both missed it

They’re the only family they have left

So both hesitate to kill each other

That doesn’t stop them from beating each other up though

Jeff is scared of fire, even though he will never admit it

His skin has healed pretty well over the years

But it’s still not super smooth

Is good friends with Clockwork

They talk shit about Toby and Nina

Who would’ve thought their exes would be together?

Wants her help getting revenge, but Clockwork doesn’t want to hurt Toby

Jeff calls her weak for it

Jeff likes her company a lot, despite that

Part of him wouldn’t mind being with her

She’s brutal, strong, street smart, and pretty

He sees a lot of himself in her and that’s probably why he likes her so much

There’s no one Jeff loves more than himself

Once you get used to him Jeff can actually be a pretty cool friend

He loves to smoke and drink

Used to smoke with Toby before everything happened

Offensive and dark humor

Which is why him and LJ get along sometimes

Jeff is actually extremely loyal

If Nina stayed he would’ve been by her side forever

He feels stupid for caring about her and being so obsessed with her and admiring her

Jeff is 6’2

He smells like blood and beer

He’s pretty skinny

His eyes are dark blue like an ocean which would be pretty in a normal context but on him it’s pretty unsettling

His hips are always swollen but also thinned out because of the permanent smile stretching them outwards so it’s uncomfortable to look at

Jeff’s wardrobe is very simple

Plain black or white shirts, black pants and a random hoodie

Big hands perfect for delivering hard hits to victims and the other pastas he fights

If you were ever gonna be with him you have to accept that what you want and your feelings come second to his

Jeff isn’t a good person by any means

But but he doesn’t care

He knew he was a bad person for years and he’s done hiding it or trying to change

[hxney-lemcn]

Falling For U— Josuke Higashikata x gn! reader

summery: Seeing things that others didn't was a normal part of your day. Until you find a group of delinquents that end up seeing your own stand. Who knew that you'd end up falling for one in particular.

tw: mentions death (reader can see ghosts)

a/n: Guys please I need more Josuke fics. More ace spec reader Josuke fics too. I'm finding it harder to write right now, but I somehow managed to get this out. (So please excuse the shitty transitions).

wc: 5.1k

Master List

It was another regular day. Focusing on school work while trying to ignore the stares and whispering of the beings around me. I’ve been able to see these figures for as long as I can remember. I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut about them when I got in trouble for scaring not only my classmates when I was 6, but my parents as well. I also learned that these beings were ghosts, and I was somehow able to communicate with them. 

A being that stood out seemed to come at will. They’d help me communicate with the ghosts when I couldn’t do it outright. The weird part being that they didn’t look like any of the other ghosts. It was a translucent misty blue being that was wearing a dark gray suit along with a white skull mask. 

I tapped my pencil to my notebook to the tune that’s been playing in my head on repeat at the moment. My eyes drifted from the teacher to my old pet that laid next to my desk. There were some perks to my ability, and that was getting to see my pets that have passed away. It always felt bittersweet to see them still following me in their afterlife. If only I could still pet them…

My thoughts halted when the bell rang. I put my stuff in my bag as quickly as I could, ready to finally go home. I walked with my friends to the gate and we all shared our goodbyes, going our separate ways. Feeling hungry, I decided to stop at a cafe that was on my way home. Just a quick in and out, it’s not like I was going there to hang out. But entering the cafe, it held a nice atmosphere that made me want to just…rest there for a bit. Would it be weird for me to eat here alone? 

I tensed as I noticed a group of students in the familiar uniform. Yeah never mind. I didn’t really know them, one of them was in my class and I knew they were friends. I mean I’ve heard rumors about them, how they’re delinquents, but everyone knew Koichi was a top notch student so I took all the information with a grain of salt. 

After giving my order and paying, I took a seat next to the pick up counter. I stared out the window closest to me, waiting to hear my name called. Suddenly, that familiar blue mist appeared and I kept my gaze to where the window would be. I didn’t want people to think I was crazy. Something in my being told me that it’s name was GhostBuster, but I found the name too humorous to take seriously. 

‘Someone wants to know if their child is okay,’ The figure signed in my line of sight. My grandma taught me sign language at a young age and I was fascinated with it. But no one else really knew how to speak in sign around me so I’d like to teach my friends small phrases if they were interested enough. GhostBuster, I suppose I will call the figure, also seemed to know sign, as they spoke to me with it first. It was a great way to communicate without seeming crazy since most of the signs could be done against a table. 

‘Give me the information and I will look into them,’ I signed back against the table. Since I was able to see the dead, from a young age I was bombarded with pleas and wishes for me to pass on messages to their loved ones or to commit acts of revenge for them. I didn’t want to do either, as having a total stranger bring up their deceased loved one didn’t seem like a good decision. But if they wanted me to keep them updated about whatever, I didn’t mind going to the library and doing some research. 

My name was called and I couldn’t help but feel eyes follow me. After I grabbed my bag of food, I ducked my head down and walked out. 

After that day I couldn’t help but feel like I was being watched constantly, and this time it was by someone living. And I couldn’t help but notice that I’ve been seeing Koichi and his friends around more often. I ignored it though, I mean Koichi was in my class so I was obviously going to see that friend group a bit. But I noticed their eyes follow me and I didn’t like it one bit. 

I always tried to keep to myself. A total wallflower if you will. I didn’t like standing out. I had my little group of friends I had at school and I stuck to my homework and hobbies after, well as long as I wasn’t working. It was easy to notice them, as no one really looks at me twice, and their stares made my skin prick with anxiety. Did I do something wrong? Do I look weird? Did I do something to upset them? Are they going to beat me up?

I shook the thought out of my head. Yeah I’ve heard rumors of them beating up kids without lifting a finger, but those stories were so far-fetched it was hard to believe. GhostBuster appeared once more during lunch, and those damned stares started to burn. I tried to look at them from the corner of my eye, but I could only catch one of them. Josuke, the most infamous one out of the group, but he wasn’t looking at me…he was looking at GhostBuster. The misty being disappeared as I tensed up. Could they see them? The being that’s been with me since forever? Was that what they were looking for everytime I passed by? Am I in danger now that they have seen it? 

I shifted my focus back on my friends, trying to tune out the ringing in my ears. I’ve always thought I was alone, that I was the only one with strange abilities…did they have them too? Is that where all the crazy rumors have been coming from? It would make a bit more sense. 

The bell ringing signaling the end of the day brought little relief. I just wanted to go home and destress from everything. Maybe play some video games or watch some t.v. I scurried out of class, head down and sticking to the walls. I didn’t even meet my friends, I was too on edge at the moment. 

“Hey!” I glanced up, not sure if that was directed towards me. I froze when I saw Josuke, Koichi, and Okuyasu. I glanced behind me, just in case they were calling for someone else, but I knew that wasn’t the case due to their eyes boring holes into me. 

“Wanna go to St. Gentleman’s with us?” Josuke asked, a nonchalant look on his face. 

I felt confused, looking around once more just to double check before pointing to myself, “Me?”

“Yeah, who else?” Okuyasu asked with a condescending look (it wasn’t exactly mean, more confused than anything). 

I shrugged, shoulders rising in tension, “I don’t know.” I was completely out of my element. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t wanna,” Josuke shrugged, hands in his pockets. 

I stared at the three for a second not sure what to say, but for some reason I found myself agreeing. Okuyasu and Josuke led while Koichi strayed behind, next to me.

“I hope we didn’t scare you,” The short boy spoke up. “We just haven’t had many good experiences with other stand users.”

My face scrunched in confusion and I turned to look at him, “Stand users?”

“Yeah,” Koichi nodded. “You know, that thing that was…talking to you during lunch.”

My gaze drifted towards the glassy eyes of the dead that turned to stare at our strange group in curiosity. I looked back at Koichi, “A lot of people try to talk to me. Well…people that others can’t see.”

It was Koichi’s turn to look at me confused, but before he could ask anything, we arrived at St. Gentlemens. We all put our orders in before sitting at a table for four. Koichi finally asked about these people but first had to catch the other two up in our previous conversation. 

“Ghosts,” I clarified finally as they all stared at me intently. “I can see ghosts, can you see them too?” I glanced over Josuke’s shoulder, a woman in an old 50’s looking waitress uniform stood behind him, a tired smile worked its way on her face when we made eye contact. 

“Nah,” Josuke shrugged, trying to seem chill, but he glanced over his shoulder and met my eyes shakily. “There’s one right behind him isn’t there?” 

I smiled slightly, “She seems nice.” Suddenly, my supposed stand came out and listened as the woman whispered to it. It then approached me and signed what she said.

“What’s it doing?” Okuyasu asked. I forgot they were there. All their eyes fell onto my stand and I couldn’t help but feel flustered at what the old waitress was implying.

“Telling me what she said,” I replied, trying to casually glance out the window.

“What did she say?” Josuke joined, curiosity working into his expression. 

I felt myself slightly fluster, looking towards the boy next to me with shining blue eyes and that unique pompadour. I opened my mouth but I hesitated, it was kinda embarrassing, “...she said…w-we’d make a cute couple.”

I can admit when someone was attractive, and Josuke fit that bill to a T, if the hordes of fangirls I had to pass in the hallways didn’t say anything. But I never talked to him before and I didn’t know him well enough to even think of him romantically. 

Okuyasu let out an obnoxious laugh and Koichi even seemed like he couldn’t hold his chuckles in as Josuke burned bright red. 

“What do your stands do?” I asked, wanting to change the subject. Okuyasu showed his off first, going on and on about its abilities and the many stories of how it saved him to mundane things it helped him with. Then Koichi showed his stand off. Well…all three of them that is. He also explained his own abilities, but kept it sweet and short. 

Finally, Josuke had recovered and told me all about his stand. Showing it off and even demonstrating its powers on a cut I got earlier that morning from my pet. I stared in awe, the cut seemingly vanished in thin air. 

After that, I seemed to have grown closer to the small group of friends. They invited me into group activities more often and both of our friend groups seemed to have joined together, at least for lunch. 

Though I was growing close to one person in particular. Of course that person was going to be Josuke. It didn’t help that those words that the ghost said were ingrained in my head now. Josuke would hang out with me a bit more than the others and the first thought was ‘is he interested in me?’, but I would quickly shake the thought away. I was just looking into everything a bit too hard now. It didn’t help that when Josuke would pull me away to do something, the others would laugh behind us. 

Not to mention that our conversations have been steering towards dating and romantic topics in general. I wish my heart didn’t beat faster when he watched me intently when I explained how I felt about relationships. How I would want to take it slow but I didn’t really have any experience so I wasn’t sure how all that stuff works anyways. My hopeless romantic side was showing greatly as I would make scenarios of what may happen that day, or what it would be like to hold him/be held. 

He also told me how he was looking for the one, and didn’t really want any flings. I agreed with him and our values on romantic relationships seemed to be shared. Which only made me seem to fall further for him, as I didn’t expect someone to share the same beliefs. Yes you heard me correctly, I can’t deny it anymore, I’ve fully fallen for him. I wouldn’t say love, but I haven’t had a crush this strong before. 

“Are you doing anything for Valentine's day?” My friend asked me as we stood outside before school. 

“Nah,” I shook my head, shifting my bag on my shoulder to a comfier position. 

“Really?” They asked skeptically. “Nothing with Josuke?”

I stared at them, feeling myself flustered, “What would I be doing with Josuke?” 

They raised an eyebrow in disbelief, “Confessing to him.” 

I tensed and my face felt like it was on fire, “No way. It’s not like he likes me like that anyways.”

Before my friend could retort, Josuke seemed to have entered the grounds. I couldn’t really see him, but the horde of fans told everything. I looked back to my friend and raised an eyebrow at the scenario.

“I also don’t want him to think of me as just another fan,” I huffed. 

“I don’t think he’d group you with them,” My friend shrugged. “You two are close now, you’re on a level that his fans aren’t.”

I didn’t think about that. Yeah I was his friend, but I suppose that I was afraid that if I did confess, that his view of me would lower and he’d stop wanting to be friends. Which doesn’t sound like Josuke, I know, but the anxiety still lingered. But now I kinda did want to do something now. Not some grand gesture, just a small thing. Maybe make something small and a note. I could buy my friends some candy as well to use as a cover up in case he didn’t like me back…

The day came quicker than I liked. I trudged to school, my bag heavier than normal with the treats it carried. I started to second guess myself, I could always just eat it all myself. Not the candy I got for my friends…but the chocolate covered strawberries I made for Josuke. I could always just give some of the candy in my bag to him instead. Rip the note to shreds and throw it away. 

No, I shook my head. I’ve gone this far, I can always fall onto my cover story just in case. I could pinpoint Josuke easily due to people swarming him like flies. Once again, that little voice of doubt flooded my mind. He’s already being bombarded, I don’t want to add to it. 

“Oi, (y/n)!” A familiar voice shouted. “Over here!” I turned towards Okuyasu, Koichi waving at me from beside him. I joined the two surprised to not see Yukako or Koichi covered in gifts yet. 

“Hey,” I greeted back as I approached them. “I got you guys something.”

Okuyasu’s eyes seemed to shine brightly as I rummaged through my bag and handed them each a little bag of candies. Josuke finally approached us and peered at us curiously, “What’cha guys got there?”

“Thank you so much (y/n)!” Okuyasu yelled, pulling me into a suffocating hug trying to hold back tears. “You’re the best!”

I patted his back and chuckled at his reaction, “I wanted to get you all something for being such great friends.”

Once Okuyasu let go, Josuke peaked his head into my view, “You got us all something?”

I drew in a deep breath, it was now or never I suppose. As the two others were preoccupied digging through their candy bags I quickly took out the small box with the note taped to the top. I thrust it into Josuke’s hands and brought my finger up to my lips in a ‘shh’ motion.

“Don’t tell the others but I got you something a little extra,” I joked lightly, hoping I came off as I normally do. I noticed he started to read the note and I quickly slapped my hand over it, drawing attention to us but I was too anxious to care. “Read that later!” I spluttered, feeling my heart race. I’d rather him read that when I’m far away and can’t see his reaction.

I glanced at my watch, noticing class was going to start soon. I waved goodbye to the group, not taking a second glance. If only I did, because I would’ve been met with Josuke staring at me in adoration, a rosy pink settling on his cheeks. 

The day seemed to drag by and I tried to ignore that I totally confessed to Josuke that morning, even if it was indirectly in a note. It was the first question my friend asked and I begrudgingly told them about what I did. It was a nice distraction when Yukako showed up and poured a load of gifts on Koichi, giving him a short kiss on the cheek as a finale. 

I felt a sort of jealousy setting in the pit of my stomach. That kind of relationship is what I longed for. I suppose not the stalking and kidnapping part…or the obsession… Okay so maybe their relationship wasn’t perfect at first, but they seemed to be working through it together. 

I tried to ignore the glances Josuke would give me during lunch. He totally read the note. God, and he totally knew my intentions too. I shouldn’t have given it to him. I picked at my food as my friends swapped candies they liked. My best friend, knowing exactly what prediction I was in wiggled their eyebrows.

“Oh he totally got the message,” They grinned smugly. I groaned and hit my head on the table. “It’s not that bad. He can’t keep his eyes off of you even with all the people confessing to him.���

“Of course he’s going to be,” I frowned. “I’m his friend so he’s gonna feel different about rejecting me.” 

“More like accepting you,” They nudged me. 

I just rolled my eyes, not feeling hopeful. I just hope I didn’t ruin a great friendship. The second half of class went by faster as I focused on school work. Bell rang and I was the second student to turn their paper in to the teacher and leave. Once again I was going to run out and hopefully not run into the person I was dreading to see. But of course life had a way of squashing my plans.

A pink and baby blue figure stood in front of me, arms crossed and a stoic gaze rested on me. I quickly snapped my head back to a normal angle, I hate being able to see things that others can’t sometimes, I hope no one saw and thought I was weird. I slowly turned my head around as Josuke pushed past other students, charmingly excusing himself. 

“(Y/n),” Josuke panted slightly, waving at me. “Hold up!” 

I stood in place as he finally approached me, “It’s not like I had much of a choice.” 

Josuke grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck, “Well I know you have a tendency to run off and I wanted to make sure I caught up to you this time.”

I wanted to shrink, am I that predictable? Did he really notice that? Does that mean he pays attention to me? I shrugged, not sure why he wanted to catch me so badly after school…okay maybe he does have a reason but I’d rather forget I did anything. 

“Is it cool if I walk you home?” Josuke asked breezily, a charming smile resting on his lips.

Damn him, damn him for stirring up all these fluttery, confusing, warm feelings. I hated it. I hated but loved it. I just wanted to throw the damn feelings away, not wanting to waste time on one-sided pining, but on the other hand I wanted to bask in the warmth these feelings brought. To indulge myself in something I wasn’t sure I was able to have. 

“Sure,” I shrugged again. Just pretend like nothing has changed. That’ll fix everything…totally. Josuke’s grin somehow widened and he nodded. 

I hated that white day was a month after Valentine’s day. Josuke was being much more affectionate towards me lately and his fans didn’t seem too happy. Not that I really cared about them but still, it was uncomfortable. I mean the gestures Josuke did could still be viewed as platonic. It was mostly hugs, resting his arm on my head/shoulder, and on the rareish occasion he’d hold my hand. 

It would make my heart flutter every time. He didn’t bring up the gift I gave him, and I thought that’s what I wanted, but slowly I realized I wanted closure. I’d rather be straight out rejected than this weird little dance we shared of not speaking our feelings. It was giving me hope, something I didn’t like in a situation I felt so uncertain in. 

It was a constant thought in the back of my mind, but it slowly faded as school and work once more took priority. I nearly forgot about the whole ordeal when white day came around. Josuke being more affectionate being a new norm that people just didn’t comment on anymore. And without my friends pointing it out, it became something I grew accustomed to. The flutter in my stomach never left, but I grew used to the feeling. 

“Oh!” I said in shock as Okuyasu handed me a small teddy bear and a small box of chocolates. “Y-you didn’t have to get me this.” 

Okuyasu grinned sheepishly, a small blush on his tanned cheeks, “I never got a gift on Valentines day, even just from a friend. So I wanted to return the favor!”

A giant smile spread across my face, “Well thank you, Oku. It means a lot.”

Koichi handed me a small baggie of candy, similar to the ones I gave him, “I know it’s not as much as the other two got you…”

My eyebrows furrowed as Josuke hadn't given me anything, but decided to brush it off, “It’s alright, I wasn’t expecting anything in return. Besides, I’d rather not get on Yukako’s bad side.” The three of us shivered at the thought. 

The small (okay maybe it grew a lot) glimmer of hope I had that Josuke would reciprocate my confession slowly dissipated throughout the day. It felt like a knife in my heart when I realized I wasn’t the only one waiting for something from Josuke. I truly was just like his fans. I felt cold as I zoned out the teacher’s lecture. Once again, I just wanted to go home and avoid people. I really was predictable. 

I packed my bags slowly as the bell rang. Everyone shuffling around me. This time, I’ll try to wait out Josuke if he was planning on catching me again. I made my way to the band room. My friends would hang out there for a bit after school so I thought I might as well join them. 

“So, how’d it go?” My friend asked, a giant grin on their face. 

I simply looked away with a frown, “How’d what go?”

Their grin fell, “Well Josuke’s an idiot. He can’t just lead you on and do nothing!” I shrugged, my other friends tuning into our conversation. 

“Yeah, don’t get hung up on a guy that isn’t taking your feelings seriously,” My other friend chimed in. 

My heart felt a little lighter at the support of my friends and I smiled bitterly, “Well, Okuyasu got me a cute teddy.” I pulled out the small plushie and the others pointed out how it wasn’t all bad today. I decided to try and focus on the good of today. I got a few things today, I got to hang out with my friends, I got a good score on that one test. Though that small pang was still there. 

The door slid open and Josuke popped into the room, looking a bit frazzled. His eyes scanned the room and when they fell on me they lit up. But my friends weren’t really having it. Their stares held a bit of hostility, but they didn’t do anything more. I, myself, didn’t have the most pleased look. 

“Hey,” He greeted, fully coming into the room, either ignoring the tense atmosphere or not even realizing there was one. “I was wondering where you were. I, uh, was wondering if you’d wanna come to Trattoria Trussardi with me.”

“That one Italian restaurant?” I asked, feeling my heart skip a beat. I hated how he had such an influence on my emotions. My friend elbowed my side and I glared at them. “I suppose I have nothing better to do,” I shrugged, suddenly feeling a bit shy.

“Great!” Josuke shouted, before flushing red and seeming to correct himself. “I-I mean cool, cool.” 

His grin shined through still along with his fading blush. Taking a hand out of his pocket, he held it out towards me and I grabbed it without much thought. I grabbed my bag and glared at my friends as they snickered at us. 

Somehow, with all these feelings bubbling inside of me, Josuke and I managed to slide into a comfortable conversation. He seemed a bit more bashful than usual, stuttering over himself. I showed him the teddy that Okuyasu gifted me when I told him about my day. 

His face contorted into a frown, “So he has enough extra money to buy you something, but when I ask to borrow some he magically doesn’t have any.” 

I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up, teasing him I replied, “I guess I’m his favorite now.”

Josuke’s frown turned into a pout, “Is he your favorite?”

When I met those diamond like eyes of his, my heart stuttered. My instinct was to deny it, but maybe I should tease him a bit more for dragging this all out today.

“Maybe,” I replied, looking away to conceal the smile that was nearly splitting at the seams. 

“(Y/nnnn),” Josuke drew out the last syllables of my name. He draped himself over my back, arms sliding over my shoulders and tucking his head in the crook of my neck. I felt myself tense, but forced my shoulders back down into a relaxed position so Josuke didn't pull back. I don’t want him to think I hate his affection, I’m just not used to such actions. “That note you wrote was for me, wasn’t it?” I could feel the smile form on his lips before he pulled away, standing taller than before with newfound confidence. Smug bastard. 

I crossed my arms, not wanting to feed into his ego but not being to deny it either, “I think I might retract it.” 

Before he could protest, we finally came into view. I went to open the door, but Josuke raced me and opened it for me instead. I gave him a weird look but didn’t say anything. Luckily, a table was open and Josuke once again rushed to pull out the seat for me. He seemed a lot more jumpy now, the situation finally sinking in. 

I looked around the restaurant, not sure what to do. There wasn’t any menu, but I’ve only heard good things about this place. People being cured of aches, acne, fatigue, and so much more. It quickly grew into popularity, so I was extra surprised when we got in without a hitch. 

“He’s a stand user,” Josuke spoke up, speaking about the owner of the place. 

“Wow,” My eyes widened. “There’s more stand users here than I thought there would be.”

Josuke nodded, tapping his fingers on the table before changing the subject, “Thank you, for the note and the strawberries.” 

“That feels like ages ago,” I waved him off with a forced laugh. “No need to thank me. You’re my friend, of course I was gonna get you something.”

Josuke seemed to falter, but I pretended like I didn’t notice, “Seemed like a bit more than what just a friend would say.”

I tapped against the table now. I wanted to talk about it, but now I wanted to go back to ignoring it. I glanced at Josuke, his eyes seeming to search for something in my expression. The waiter, I learned named Tonio, put two plates of food in front of the two of us. He smiled at us, wishing us a good meal before leaving. I turned my attention to my food. I wasn’t completely sure what it was, but it smelled good.

No wonder I always found myself single. I’m acting like a child. But ignoring my feelings has always been easier than bearing my heart. I shoved food in my mouth while I internally berated myself. Wow, this was really good food!

“I like holding you,” Josuke said quietly. I tensed as he referenced the stupidly cheesy part of my note where I admitted to enjoying affection. “Your hands seem to fit perfectly in mine, your smile takes my breath away, and everytime you laugh at one of my stupid jokes I feel like I’m on top of the world.” I felt my cheeks warm at his confession and I slowly raised my head up to meet his gaze. It was intense, fiery passion clear in his unwavering crystal gaze. 

“You’re always so kind to us all, you give more than you take,” He continued, his eyes softening. At that moment, it felt like the world came to a halt. I suddenly felt seen, heard, cared about. Josuke took my hand into his own on top of the table, “I found myself falling for you faster than I could process. So when you handed me that small box and note, I was overwhelmed. I still have the note, I don’t think I could ever throw it away because I knew that you were bearing your heart to me, and trusted me with your feelings.”

I squeezed his hand lightly, not sure how to process this information. It was like a dream come true. I wasn’t sure if I could handle much more of his praises though, as I started feeling a bit light headed…or was that the food’s doing?

“A-ah, I’m rambling,” Josuke chuckled awkwardly, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I like you too, (y/n). And it would make my world if you’d agree to be my partner.”

Suddenly, the world grew fuzzy and I squinted my eyes. I could barely make out Josuke’s blurry face before the world snapped back into focus, much clearer than before. I looked around in awe, finally meeting the piercing blue eyes that seemed to hold me in place. 

“I would love to,” I agreed, smiling sheepishly. 

That damn waitress is going to rub it in next time we go to St. Gentlemens.

[spiderlandry]

congrats!!!! i was wondering if you could do a childhood friends to lovers drabble with ethan landry?

thank u anon!! i Love childhood friends to lovers (i already have one for ethan in my wips, so i ended up making this one a little different, but my wip sounds like something you’d be into so stick around for when i release that soon!)

used a jack gif because i am running out of cute ethan ones 😧 this turned out way longer than expected sorry omfg

100 follower event

warnings/tags: mostly just fluff w ethan 😮‍💨 ghostface not mentioned, one use of y/n, mentions of dieting (by ethan b/c he’s going to the gym), insecurities

off the table — ethan landry

“Ethan, look at the camera!”

He stares at his phone, watching through the ‘movies’ you used to film at his house when you were younger. Your voice sounds squeaky, matching his at the time. The video is blurry, but he can see his own goofy pose through the pixels as you turn the camera to him, and then here comes his favourite part, when you turn the camcorder and set it on the coffee table and he can see you and him sitting on the floor of his family living room.

“Introduce yourself, come on!”

“Ethan?” A knock on his bedroom door forces him to shut off his device and hug it to his chest, leaning back against his headboard.

“Yeah?” He responds to the all-too familiar voice, you, on the other side of the wood, opening the door.

“Um—“ You squint your eyes at him, as if you’d heard the sounds coming from his phone. Shit, did you hear? “You have any plans tonight?” You don’t mention the way he’s visibly relieved when you ask.

“No, why?” He’s back at ease with you again, pushing back the thoughts of a future with you to the back of his mind.

“Dinner?”

“I want wings,” He confesses.

You chuckle at his admission, knowing he’d been dieting because he began regularly going to the gym with Chad. (Which, honestly, was a treat to your eyes—but he’d never know.)

“I’ll get wings.” You pull out your phone to order, then adding, “I won’t tell Chad.” Before you leave and close the door.

He runs his hands down his face. Why did he think becoming roommates with you was a good idea? Oh, right, because you promised each other when you were kids.

It’s not the fact that you’re roommates. It’s that you’re just roommates, at least at this moment. But you’re also each other’s best friend since childhood—a connection that neither of you plan to change.

He watches through the video folder he has, titled, ‘y/n and ethan’ consisting of the videos you two filmed with a shitty camcorder at his dad’s house.

It was a time capsule of sorts—the videos progressed and the two of you grew up—but as time passed, the entries became less frequent. The last time was before you both separated for the first two years of college, when you went to study abroad. But you came back, reminded him of the promises you both made; telling him ‘the offer is still on the table.’ and he ended up moving in with you as per the plans you made as children.

This year of living together has been like if nothing ever changed, like you never went anywhere else, never spent two years apart from him. Though, there are flashes of uncertainty. Cracks in your demeanor that leaves him wondering if he truly knows you still.

Each moment where you mention someone in your life he doesn't know, he feels a sting. And on top of that, he feels guilt. How can he stay in your life keeping this secret from you? It eats at him.

He's in love with you. There's no denying that. The problem lies in how long he can hold it in, out of fear of ruining what he has with you. But knowing you, you would probably reject him so nicely that he wouldn't notice. There is no chance you'd feel the same, he thinks.

You both eat wings on the couch, watching your favorite movie. Neither of you care about the close distance, shoulders touching and hands brushing against each other when the movie ends and you begin to cleanup.

In the kitchen disposing of trash, you lean against a counter while he gets busy tidying up the kitchen. He can feel your stare on him, burning.

"Are you just gonna stand there?" He laughs, but there's a waiver in his voice that is hard to miss.

"Were you watching the videos of us? You know. Earlier."

His heart pounds in his ears. "Yeah. Why?" He doesn't see a point in lying anymore.

You sigh, "I miss you too, you know."

His head snaps up to meet yours, a longing gaze in your eyes.

That's when he realizes that you've stepped closer, your warmth practically radiating off your figure. His mind blanks.

"I feel like I've been..." You pause to think, "I don't know. Distant?"

Between the two of you, you were always the more honest one. A trait he admires, a reason to look up to you. You never shy away from a conversation when it's needed.

Ethan's mind jumps to a worst case scenario. Multiple, actually. Why are you telling him this? You're about to break bad news to him, aren't you?

Reading the uncertainty in his eyes, you continue.

"Something's changed." You shrug, looking to him for an answer.

"No, why--why would you say that?"

"I'm sorry, E."

His brows furrow. Now he's even more confused.

"I feel like I don't know how to fucking act around you anymore."

Woah. Now where did that come from?

His shoulders slump at the mere though of you not wanting to be around him. Did he do something wrong? Are you uncomfortable?

You mumble something inaudible.

"What?" He whispers, almost breathless.

"IthinkI'minlovewithyou."

He's certain his heart stopped beating. He needs to get his ears checked, surely.

"Can--can you say that again?"

You stare at him through your lashes, a frown forming on your lips. He wants nothing more than to wipe it off you, but first he needs to make sure he heard you correctly.

"I'm in love with you." You stop looking at his eyes, unable to face him. "And I'm sorr--"

He engulfs you in a hug before you can finish.

"Don't ever be sorry," He tightens his hold, and you reciprocate. "I thought--I didn't think you'd ever feel the same."

He can physically feel you relaxing.

"You're an ass."

That gets a laugh out of him. "Why?"

"You made me say it again."

"You know what? I'll make you a deal."

"Yeah? Is it a good deal? Don't try to scam me."

He smiles, though you can't see it because your eyes are closed, too focused on the feeling of his arms around you. "I'll tell you how much I love you for as long as you want."

"Give me a timeframe."

"For the rest of our lives, hm? Deal?"

"Deal."

[weeping-statue]

Hi! This is abit more of a darker/triggering ask so if it makes you uncomfortable thats 100% ok and u can skip this! but i was wondering if you could write antonio (idv) comfort fic with a reader whos struggling with sh or trya recover from it Please! Have a good day/night! ♡

“The knife isn’t always the best option.”

Contains; Self harm; bullying, comfort, sensitive topics; Antonio; Naib; Norton; Alva; and Victor;

Alva's can be platonic or romantic.

Key; Anima mia=my soul

You were doing so well, but bottled up emotions shatter easily during stressful times. When your loving boyfriend realizes you’ve started again, he’s heartbroken yet nonetheless supportive.

Antonio

He would refuse to leave your side after it comes to light that you’re hurting yourself again.

He loves you a lot and losing you is out of the question.

Antonio knows exactly what to do in these situations, since I feel like he’s either gone through this before on his own or with someone else.

Antonio had you in his arms while sobbed on the floor. A discarded knife tinged red and a clear reminder of your failures.

“It’s alright, Anima mia. You’re not alone, and you’re not in trouble. I’ve got you, everything will be okay. This will pass.” He reassured you, making small circles on your back, and gently kissing your head.

His words only made you cry harder, you wanted to stop feeling guilty. You just wanted to stop letting him find you this way.

Maybe if weren’t such a disappointment you’d be able to do the simplest thing.

Antonio knew what was probably going through your head at that moment and smiled, “Do you know how proud I am of you? My love, you never fail to impress me. I look up to you in some aspects, and you give me a reason to wake up in the morning. It’s a feat very few can achieve. Let me take care of you for tonight at the very least, I’ll grab us dinner and run us a bath. How does that sound?”

You nodded and turned your head away from the blade that just seemed to taunt you. Instead opting for staring at his shirt in shame.

Naib

He keeps a close eye on you 24/7

You’re always being monitored, even if it’s extremely subtle or obvious.

You’re the main reason why he wakes up in the morning.

Naib refuses to lose you.

“Put.. Put the knife down,___” naib carefully inched towards you like you were a wounded animal. He didn’t want to startle you and make the situation worse.

The knife shook in your unsteady hands, as you fought to make a decision, but ultimately dropped it anyways. Letting it clatter to the floor.

He quickly rushed to your side after it dropped, checking for any injuries. When he didn’t find any, Naib brushed some hair out of your face, resting his forehead against yours. “You can’t keep scaring me like this. What happens if you do go through with it? You’d really leave me all alone?”

“I don’t know.” You mumbled, at least you were being honest.

Norton

He already worry’s about you, probably more than he should, so this is just adding on.

He makes sure you share a room after the first time he witnesses one of your breakdowns.

It’s not that he believes you can’t take care of yourself, he just doesn’t want you to burn yourself out.

At night he’ll always wait for you to sleep first, and he watches you fondly or sadly, depending what occurred that day.

Norton and you had a rough day. It started with shitty matches, then rude teammates, and then a small argument between yourselves.

The reminder of it made him sigh. Finally after confirming you fell asleep he’d shift to spoon you. Taking his hand to gently run up and down your arms, being mindful of the scars that he learned to love.

“If only you knew how much I need you in my life, ___. I’m not good with words, but fuck, I love you so much.” He whispered to you, placing a kiss on the back of your head.

Alva

He’s more in tune with your emotions than yourself.

He understands that things can get hard, and doesn’t let it define you.

He wants to see you flourish, he is a mentor after all.

Alva will stay up with you until you fall asleep in case you’re afraid you might do something you’ll regret.

He also doesn’t mind cleaning your wounds, of course it makes him sad, devastated really, but it’s you, and he’d do anything for you.

Romantic;

Alva kisses away your tears, as he reassures you, your loved.

He makes sure that you bathed, and washes your hair for you.

He’ll hold you at night as well, letting you hide in his chest.

“It’s alright my dear, I’ve cleaned up all the blood, you can look now.” Alva says, and you finally open your teary eyes. Seeing him bandage up the last bit of your legs.

“Next time you feel this urge, or even feel upset, come find me. My door is always open to you.” It comes out firm but gentle, like he genuinely cares. Something no one has showed in this awful place a lot.

Your about to open your mouth but he shuts it down, knowing what your about to say, “No, you are not a bother, No I don’t care how late it is, and yes I do care about you. I love you, and it pains me to see you like this.”

“Alva, I can’t do this to you what happens if-”

“Then we’ll figure it out together. You and me.”

Victor

He cried the first time you came too his door bleeding.

Wick was right there next to you both nudging at your leg as he bandaged your stomach.

He couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he could lose you either from the games or by your own hands.

It pained him deeply when he find used razor blades in your trashcan or a hidden knife under your bed.

He wrote you a letter a couple times begging you to talk to him.

Pouring his heart out to you that he needs you and loves you deeply.

On occasion Victor would knock on your door late at night wondering if he could sleep with you when his paranoia got too much.

A knock; then two more.

It was around 11pm and Victor had shown up again holding his pillow in one arm and wick in the other.

“Couldn’t sleep again?” You said lowly, since other people lived on your floor too.

He nodded and walked inside, setting wick down on the end of the bed.

“Do.. you mind if you hold me? I miss you, and I’m scared.” It was barely audible but you heard it. He could talk, sometimes, only when he felt it was necessary. So it wasn’t too much of a surprise when he said this.

“Yeah, come on.” You ushered him to get into bed. Slipping in next to him and letting his head rest on your chest.

You felt his shaky and nervous fingers trace patterns over your scars. Delicately memorizing each and every one.

You didn’t mind, because you trusted him.

But deep down, it hurt you inside that you were causing him this pain. This worry.

I finally did it! I posted.

I’m hoping to post more soon

[theshiftingwitch]

hii. im scared this is gonna be a bit long. im sorry but i would really appreciate some advice.

i know how to manifest, i know i have to affirm and persist, do not care about doubts etc. but i simply do not know what i want

i broke things off with my ex on october and after that i went on some dates and even got somewhat intimate with a guy i really liked, but this whole time i still had my ex in mind. me and this guy stopped talking 2 weeks ago out of nowhere, even tho i was affirming for him while seeing him, but i was like whatever i will just get him back, but i cant get myself to persist for him, i just get a rush of motivation and after sometime im thinking about my ex and throwing some "he misses me and hes begging me to take him back"

the reason im not manifesting my ex back is bc things between me and him got really complicated, he treated me so bad and made me cry so many times, he was always saying he wasnt good enough for me and that he would change and do anything for me, but things never changed, which is why i broke up with him in the first place, which ended up leaving me ever more hurt bc he started treating me like trash and saying some stuff to me. My mom and friends hate him, his friends hate me,, and i know now i created those situations but they still hurt me very much, i wanted to move on thats why i didnt manifest him back. also bc i feel like i have so many things to work through and so many limiting beliefs and solid beliefs on him and that it would be hard to get him to conform yk, i know this itself is a limiting belief but i have it

but im kinda second guessing myself rn, sometimes i get visions of him with other girls and i really do not want that, he is still my baby after all and i'll tell you im starting to tear up writing this lol.

do you think it is better for me to manifest the guy i was seeing and really liked? and try to forget my ex even tho everytime i think about him (which is often) i can feel my chest tighten,, or should i accept that it is actually him that i want and put in the work?

for manifesting him back i was thinking about doing it in steps and with the list method, so first get him to apologize (him regretting and telling me stuff i need to hear, begging for me) then after we get back in contact to start affirming for a healthy relationship .

last thing, i have no idea what he's been up to this past months, i told my friends not to tell me anything if they saw him or heard about him, the only times i saw him was when we last talked that he promised me he would take this time to change and come back to me but could not promise me loyalty during this time bc "anything could happen", the morning when i go to school bc to get to mine i have to pass near to where him and his friends are (however i always tell myself not to look) and 1 week ago at the club, i was dancing with my friend and i saw him staring at me seemingly sad(???), breaking his neck almost bc i was far and behind where he was (i didnt know he was there this just happened), after i started affirming that he misses me when i think about him (but this affirming was not anything i actually committed to).

so, sorry, anyways i want to make sure in this 2 months he did not talk or kissed or anything with any girl, but i do not know how to go about this, im scared that bringing attention to that "not happening" would just increase the chances of that happening, how should i write it down?? (i would put this in the list method, while affirming for an apology)

im so so so sorry this was so long, but i want to finally have some clear idea of what i want .. so sorry, thank u so much in advance.

It sounds to me like you want closure more than you want your ex back.

Just as a disclaimer, although I always tell people how to manifest their SPS, I hold a deep grudge against shitty people, and I never condone manifesting someone who has been shitty to you in the past. You have your free will of course, and you can do whatever you want, but to clear my conscious I have to say, manifesting someone out of thin air who is your exact type is better than going through the process of manifesting someone who has already shown you their true colors.

Now onto your question: if you can't tell which one you want, and you're switching back and forth between the two guys, sitting down with your thoughts and journaling would be a very good idea for you. Get clear with your thoughts on what you want, ask yourself probing questions, and let it all out onto your notebook and you'll find that you already know what you want, it's just that your mind is clouded with a lot of clutter that you simply don't need. Once you shut down the noise, you will get a clear answer.

There is a reason why you're not committing to affirming, and you're not using any methods to get your ex back, and it is simply because deep down you know that you deserve better. And it's true, you do deserve better. Whether that better is the guy you're currently seeing, or someone else completely, that is totally up to you.

Here's my suggestion: if you are looking for closure, you can simply affirm that he apologized for his behavior. Nothing has to happen after that apology, you don't have to have a heart-to-heart or a second chance or anything, with your family and friends hating him and his friends hating you, it's already taken a toll on your mental health. So I can tell you that you can just affirm that you have a happy healthy relationship with him and everything is working out but it seems to drain you, and I never condone using anything that would drain you or suck the joy out of your life. That is not how manifestation is supposed to be. Manifestation is supposed to be easy and fun.

But if you sit down with yourself and you clear your thoughts and you realize that you do want him back, I do not suggest the list method for you. In this case, you would do better with a script. Write down how you wanted this relationship to go, from the very beginning, not just the apology. Go back to how you two started and rewrite the whole story. Give him the attributes you want in your dream guy, write down that he is obsessed with you and he loves you and he cherishes you and you didn't have to break up with him in the first place, write down that the relationship is perfect and everyone involved likes you two together. Then when you finish that script simply affirm that everything in your script came true.

I hope that helps, and if my personal opinion is not something you wanted to hear, please feel free to disregard it completely.

Happy manifesting ❤️

[1eoness]

i literally cant stop thjnking abt joji ever since i got tickets to his concert so ... can i request an angst that's based on his song glimpse of us :') leon and reader are dating and all leon can think of is ada ( OR VICE VERSA IDEK )

okay flexing on me i see u anon.......... /stares condescendingly/ jk

and sure let me just put the song on repeat until i start convulsing and oh wow an actual title that is only mildly shitty? go me.

also, i received this request like probably over a month ago im sooo sorry about that TT

cw; angst, depressed re4remake!leon x gn!reader. shitty toxic relationship, super fucking short bc im uncreative.

blind glances

synopsis :

deep down, leon aches for his ex-girlfriend. you're the gauze of a heart that does not bleed for you. you're looking at him but his affection does not rouse at the sound of your name.

it's eating at him. he'll never escape the realization that even a lifetime of getting used to you won't ever amount to having a brief glimpse of ada wong.

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

if guilt is a penalty then leon is a man for the guillotine. he wakes up beside you, warm skin on just skin when he reaches over to gently kiss you on the forehead for a love-empty greeting. does he like doing it?

no.

leon has a blurry count of how long it has been since he last felt the high of love.

he will never deny it. leon is a fool for tying tight strings for a woman that kissed him with lies but you just don't know anything. you don't know the raw care that lingers on ada's face, her stoic tendencies, her slender shoulders that carry the burden of a past he'll never know of. he's a fucking idiot for keeping scores with a bossy woman and finding love in her during a citywide bloodshed.

but because of the wrong of it all, shit, he felt the most human in the fucking world. leon deserving a healthy relationship after the incident in raccoon? bullshit, he doesn't deserve that; not when he's just going to end up hurting you with his pain. it won't ever change the fact that a part of him shudders at the sheer thought of ada.

and the naive look on your face will always remind him where it hurts.

during the first few weeks of trying to rehabilitate from a forsaken and true love, leon has already told you his issues and tendencies. you came with the guess that "it's most likely the trauma, leon.. you know i'm here. and let's hope ada is okay." and he nods quietly, kissing your cheek in mechanical reflex.

so you've had this discussion with him before—you were so open, so warm. but leon does not let himself relax around you. you're both a manifestation of his culpability and a cognitive drug to him— it drives him insane sometimes he cries at night and he doesn't even tell you why, just nuzzling into your skin and staining it wet with the depression that seeps in his nerves.

leon's never the smoker but you're a cigarette to him—he needs you when he feels like you're all he's got and he needs you to disconnect from a world that won't give him his ada back, even if it's just for a little while.

you wanted to be so mature but no, you're just a fucking human being as well. you desperately wanted to help leon but what if this is it? what if this is all you might be?

so, you both try to reconcile.

he's blind to the eager light in your eyes when you ramble about your day. he's smiling and playing with his straw while your words go from one ear out the other; because when he locks eyes with you he doesn't see you. he only sees a reflection of himself using you to his mending. and it's anything but your fault.

he somehow still has the audacity to feel some sort of affection towards you; but who will ever tell him he's just guilty and sympathetic? or, no. he just thinks that way.

is it possible? god, is it possible to care for someone you don't love? perhaps, but was that the care you needed?

you needed leon to care for you.

you wished ada was just here to whisk him away and maybe you wouldn't find yourself here. you know it, deep in your stomach. but you are bittersweet, you love to fucking convince yourself leon loves you. he loves you, doesn't he?

he felt like dying that night he saw your face drop when he opened his wallet to pay. he still had a picture of ada in his wallet. why was he so blind? why was he so careless?

...

"...i think i left the faucet open."

you utter begrudgingly after you stood up, calculating your share quickly and dumping it on the table with a rush. he stares at the table with horror gorging at his heart, watching his 'love' walk away from him with tear-blurring eyes. the faucet doesn't stop running when you reach the car. leon knew this, your heart was just too big for your own good.

you felt like a fool; you're the one trying to prove that leon loves you. how stupid does that fucking sound?

so later that night he's at home, inebriated out of his fucking mental while he's hunched over the sink. slightly sunken eyes stare back at him blurrily.

leon tries to rinse the guilt off his face but when he sees himself it's hard to even look—he doesn't know himself anymore, he's just the husk of a man that has his love taken away from him and stuffed in an abyss that stares back. and you don't have to guess which 'love' he's thinking of.

love. the word is so simply ridiculous, isn't it? one minute it's warm and gentle but it feels like a whole war when you try to conquer it. love always wins, it wins over him when he tries his fucking best to just be a better boyfriend for you.

it's like that one quote from that one book. "love is the only rational act."

what leon feels for you is right. he cares for you enough not to bring your hopes up anymore. he should just leave, but he doesn't want to abandon you. but what good is leon if he stays? if there was a god up there, leon pleas, tell me what to do to make it hurt less for them.

temptation is non-existent. his heart belonged to ada. ada ada ada. he's sorry but he can only think of her. even the name sounds right to him. it's a poisonous solace, the way his sombers connect with ada's.

he sleeps before you. you both stopped having the innocent intimacy before bed and now it's just restless individuals sharing the same comforters, desperately finding a warmth in the cold room you both soak in. it's so cold. you reach over to hold him. leon feels so cold.

it gnaws at your heart when you're constantly visualizing a scenario of him choosing whether to save you or ada if it ever came down to it. and you know who he would pick.

"..." leon turns over.

"bad dream?" he whispers but his voice is empty of projected care. but he still cares. he still fucking cares. but why should he?

you answer anyway.

"yeah."

you answer anyway because you still want to be wrapped in his safety. you find yourself pressed to his heart, the back of his hand on your head. soak in the comfort all you want,

but leon still feels cold.

[nightmare-dreamt]

Matchup For your favorite slime 🥺🥺💜🩵

welcome home- annnnnd hnMmMmmM FNaF 🩵

Matchup for 112!

Here you go and I hope u enjoy! Drink lots of water and gets lots of sleep :)

Welcome Home: Sally

You guys have very similar personalities and energies. You both are basically a ball of sunshine thrown into a small body… get it? Cause you're short… :)

You and her would definitely talk hours and hours about certain plays and musicals that have caught your guys attention. Sally seems like a Hamilton type of fan, but she's into the dark shit. Heathers all the way. She sometimes sees her as Heather and some of the neighbors as the other characters. ( Cough Wally, Julie, and Sally as the heathers, Frank as Veronica, and Cough If someone draws this I will actually cry and sob Cough)

You two would rehearse plays together and since she's the director she would make you the love interest and her the lead so the two of you could have your kissy kissy scene. But, she would be open about needing help when she does, but not too much because then she'll feel weak and useless.

The other neighbors love you and enjoy having you around especially when Sally is around since you make her, her best self. Going by Welcome Home logic, you would be the first to die, but my reasoning behind this is because you find out the truth and start freaking out and Wally can't have that so he does his weird little eye thing and oopsies, you're gone. 🤷‍♀️

FNAF: Roxane

You met the animatronic when going to go see the ultimate show, but when watching Freddy fall over, the show was cut short, or was it? To no one's surprise, you stayed back or more of you got lost and couldn't find the exit and it got to the point where the building locked you inside. Having that big imagination of yours, you went around wanting to investigate and that's how you landed in Roxanne's room… talking to herself.

The two of you were very confused just staring at each other until Roxanne tried to take you to the security room, but somehow you convinced her to let you stay. Now, it's just the two of you in her room talking and listening to her boast about how cool she was. Then, there was the incident with the little boy causing all of the animatronics to leave and go look for him. But, Roxanne let you come with, not trusting the feral stranger to be left alone in her room.

The two of you bonded after that meeting and once the little boy was found and things got hectic, you found comfort within the animatronic and made plans to visit a lot more than you had ever planned.

When visiting, you tend to stay the night and go around the pizza plex eating the shitty food and playing the games they have to offer. At first, Roxanne seemed to win all of the games, but within time you began winning and she seemed upset but deep down you know she's letting you win.

One night, when the two of you were wandering around doing who knows what. Freddy and Monty appeared trying to figure out who the human was and what they were doing after hours and that led to chaotic 112, who would likely jump on one of their backs and demand to be carried around. Now, you're friendly with all of the animatronics and have a blast with all of them, hooray! But wait… there's still Vanny/Vanessa and the daycare attendants.

When Roxanne was being sent to get repairs, you decided to hang out with Freddy and the gang, but the power went out leading to a strange moon chasing after you screaming about the lights. You were then dragged off and sent to the daycare spending the rest of the day with sun and moon which wasn't bad, until you fell asleep in the ballpit causing them to worry about leaving to go find you. And that's how you met Vanessa the night guard.

Trying to find your friends, you ran into the night guard who wasn't too happy with your sneaking in and staying after hours, but she didn't mind. You seemed to fit into her vibe and kept her on her feet when looking after the pizza plex and now you're able to get in without any worries of getting caught.

- Who would have thought being close with an animatronic would have its perks?