#like 'people give me anxiety'
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balkanradfem · 1 year ago
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I hope it's not rude to ask (you can reply in private if you wish), but I am very curious on one thing. I tried to research your blog a bit but haven't figured that out. Are you trying to live of only things you can garden/find in the forest and only things you can make yourself I assume? Is that bc of some complicated situation or is that bc of your dedication to some live style/idea? I think it's both admirable and interesting whatever the reason you want to live that way, and your posts are very nice read, especially to city-stuck but nature-longing reader, so it's just my curiosity.
Haha it's not rude at all! I feel okay answering publicly.
My situation is a bit complicated, but it comes down to this: I'm on my own, no family support, I'm in poverty, and I'm chronically ill. I dream to leave the city and live in the wilderness, where I can have my own garden, and make my own everything. I'm very stressed out by the city and long to live in a place where there is no male contamination (pollution, noises, construction, destruction of nature, violence, sexual violence, oppression of women), so I could live peacefully!
I am only able to work part-time so saving up for buying my own land is going very slow, but I am determined to use this time to learn as much as possible about survival in nature. That's why I'm trying to learn everything, all of the plants, preservation methods, foraging, gardening, herbalism, basketry, soap-making, shoe-making, making threads and fixing things, creating stuff out of natural resources - because the second I get where I'm heading, I will not have internet, I will not be able to look everything up in a second. I want to be ready. I want to come there and observe and know everything, what I can eat, what can I preserve, what I can make from resources immediately around me, how to build my own house and where to place it, how to make a greenhouse or a conservatory, how to build a fireplace, all of that knowledge will be vital.
I'm not against relying on capitalism when I have no other choice, like for flour and oil, I currently have no means of producing those, so I do buy them. I think in the future as well, if I'm sick I would go and buy medicine, if I can't make it on my own (which often I cannot).
I'm not following any kind of lifestyle, just trying to ensure my own survival the best I can. I also love sharing whatever I learn because I noticed a lot of the information got lost for this generation, a lot of survival skills are no longer passed down and knowing even a little bit of it can be incredibly helpful for survival in capitalism. I want everyone to feel encouraged to try, it's great for mental health as well.
I also get great feedback from people who know better than me! I learned so much just from comments and replies that is a treasured source of wisdom for me.
I feel like this world wants us to be as helpless as possible, as little equipped with knowledge as possible; not knowing how something is made, how it could be made from nature, what worth it actually has or what has been sacrificed or destroyed in order for it to exist. It has us making uninformed choices, unaware of the impact we have on the earth and the climate. I think we deserve to know all of it. I'm interested and curious in all of it.
I've been interested in survival in nature since I was a kid, and when it became an option to pursue it, I wholeheartedly did. It fills my heart so much to make something or to build my own pantry from scratch, or feeding myself easily during summer because of the abundance of produce! I feel like if everyone knew how wonderful this is, the store would no longer feel so convenient or so reliable; it's on the soil that we rely, it's always nature that all these things come from.
Thank you for trying to figure it out, I feel flattered that you got interested in my lifestyle. I hope I managed to answer your question :)
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splickedylit · 17 days ago
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@ USAmericans that are following me, if you (like me) get anxious you'll somehow have issues with a mail-in or drop-off ballot: I forgot that in a lot of places (here's a site to check!) early in-person voting is an option, so I figured maybe you did too!
Lines are MUCH shorter than election day,
which means it's quick and you have more time to look things up at the voting booth if necessary,
and you have a LOT more ability to find a time that works for you than if you just vote on Nov. 5th (which I would be have been almost completely unable to go out and vote on).
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Early voting y'all it kicks ass. A quick google of "early voting (my city/county" immediately brought up the exact address, days and hours of where it was available. Will definitely patronize the fine folks at my local polling center again in four years assuming that. Things go well. And we still have a democracy in four years. OTL
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months ago
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Shout out to all artists who had to work without any strong direction or instruction.
I wish you a merry “the client likes it anyways”
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tooies · 2 months ago
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i think probably the reason i like the idea of like a girl secretly being a dragon but still trying to just have a life in society and be normal is because it's kinda a transfem narrative of the whole like everyone thinks you're a terrifying monster but you just want to be a girl. and the other reason is due to i'm otherkin
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densewentz · 1 year ago
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i think the turning point in my life both academically and professionally was realizing that. If you Go First, be it a presentation or an interview or whatever. If you go first, you are being judged based on NOTHING but yourself. They aren't comparing you to anyone else, you don't have an act to "follow". You are the Bar. You can literally just do the best you can and at that point it will automatically be the best they've seen so far. And once you're done you're done. You can mentally and emotionally check out.
Game changer insofar as being stressed about presenting because now I just bulldoze over everyone else to go first like a feral hog.
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miasmultifandomdump · 1 year ago
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It annoys me how so much of modern discourse around female characters is, to be frank, misogyny repackaged as being progressive.
If a woman's strengths and interests are associated with being feminine, such as cooking or enjoying nice clothes or being kind and compassionate, the entire fandom jumps on her as stereotypical or weak. It's seen as cool to bash on "women's work", never mind that your average misogynist has been doing it for decades, hell, centuries, and the jobs that are mocked as women's work are actually pretty essential to humans surviving and thriving.
And then, of course, if a woman shows the slightest hint of nonconformity, the entire fandom jumps on her because "oh!! she's trying to be not like other girls!! she wants male attention so bad!!" It doesn't matter how she is to the other girls in her life, if she wears combat boots and listens to punk instead of Taylor Swift, she clearly hates every other woman ever according to certain parts of fandom. It couldn't be that she's neurodivergent or LGBT or hell, even just a tomboy, she has to hate every other girl on the planet. /sarcasm
AND JUST TO CLARIFY. These tropes can genuinely be negatively done. The traditionally feminine girl can be a weak character and the tomboy girl can be an ass. But when you're calling a girl a "pick me" just because she doesn't live up to your idea of what a woman should look like or what you think feminism is... congratulations. You've simply repackaged sexism and called it woke. And lots of girls who see this crap online are going to suffer for it but hey, it was never actually about them, so who cares, right? /sarcasm
Anyway, to all the girls reading this post, you go ahead and be who you want. Be a princess or a president or a pop singer or a punk rocker or hell, all of the above. You're not a "pick me" you're not a "handmaiden" you're not trying too hard to be "not like other girls". You are fine. Don't let pseudo-woke nonsense get to you. It's just white noise.
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royalarchivist · 8 months ago
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
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[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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mamawasatesttube · 11 days ago
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this might be mean but. it really ticks me off when people respond to authors and artists wishing for actual community and engagement with their works by saying "oh but you see im just so anxious i cannot offer you any kind words." with the optional "but do please keep making things for me anyway!" because like...
a) do you understand how anxiety-inducing it can be to pour a little piece of your soul into a work of art and share it publicly? i feel like you don't see the people creating these things as people like you and that is an issue. we are people who just really love a thing and want to talk about it with other people who also love that thing.
but moreover, and this is the part that might be mean, b) damn why doesn't your anxiety prevent you from making excuses to us then? i wish it did! like if you're SO anxious about a fic author blocking you for saying something nice, why are you not anxious about getting blocked for telling that author "okay but i don't want to comment on your works though"??? because i can tell you which of these two things is way more likely to piss me off and it isn't the comment.
like. idk man. if you really don't want to comment on and engage with people's creative works, no one can force you to. but also consider maybe not commenting on and engaging with those people's posts just to explain that you don't want to comment on/engage with their works. if you are so committed to staying quiet and being a passive consumer then commit to the bit and stop asking creative people who put way more of themselves out there than you are to pat you on the back and reassure you that you'll still keep getting free content even if you can't do so much as drop a "this was really good!" in the comments.
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syn0vial · 3 months ago
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some snapshots of boba fett being a socially anxious mess in legacy of the force
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facing some of the galaxy's most ruthless and hardened killers in combat? no problem 👌 having a heartfelt conversation in a room with friends and family? RUN!! 🏃🏃
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"am i allowed to call my best friend by his first name when we're at his house? if i get the answer wrong, it is equivalent to me stepping on a landmine and exploding btw"
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the thought of having anything like a family or social circle is terrifying to him. loneliness is a much more familiar and thus comfortable experience.
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this is a sad one. trying to interact with other people in a way that isn't predicated on violence (whether for or to them) feels so alien and daunting to fett that he feels like he's incapable of it. (it's also one of the many moments in which fett is an unreliable narrator of his own character development bc what do you think you've been doing for the past three books, idiot)
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and finally, one of the (several) moments in the series that implies he usually relies on beviin and/or medrit to handle daunting social interactions for him :`) he's very lucky to have them!
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yloiseconeillants · 2 months ago
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like i do think i got a lot of followers when i was playing through the game and running a liveblog because this community loves to watch sprouts go through the emotional wringer of the msq but like. it feels really disheartening to get like mostly radio silence on my posts aside from people i'm interacting regularly when there's like nearly a thousand blogs following me. why are you here. how many of you are dead.
and like, i don't want to unfollow anyone because i am invested in people's stories but i just. would like to know why people are following me if they're just scrolling past my posts. you can unfollow i promise i won't mind. if anything it'd be a relief lmao.
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savebylou · 4 months ago
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to celebrate the anniversary, mutuals as 1d members? 💙💚🇮🇪❤️💛
Hi anon. What a fanstastic and a very difficult question. I honestly had been posponing to answer this because tagging people always give me anxiety and is always so hard because you are always missing people so if you are not tag you still are inclueded at the end.
Like Zayn very artistic, creative with a sense of humour: @wendersfive @enchantedlandcoffee @rainbowbeanstyles @moon-sun-thyme @lebesyej
@yimmysart @dxnny-art @evenasyoungastheyare @lonelychicago
@punkpillowprincess & @28goldens
Like Liam kind, funny, artistic, talented: @theeliampayne
Like Niall, who always makes you smile, is kind and funny: @hl-obsessed @justthinkingaboutlouis @ocean-sailor @awesomefringey @whatifai
@sunflowervoltwentyeight @starrysaturdays & @sunkissedlouis
Like Harry who is creative, funny and make you see the world more bright and joyful: @thechavier @defences-down @twopoppies
Like Louis that is thoughtful, funny with a big heart: @srldesigns6277 @delicatepointofview @freensarocha @nunchailou @nauticallyrics
@nouies @louisisalarrie @mc5ftjillo @goldcrumble @omglarryrabbit
@dreamings-free @lets-laughagain @calordelverano @theydopissmeoffavocados @sunshineandlyrics
@louisarmpits @voxina @stoned-styles @doesntmeanitsmeaningless
The rest of my mutuals that I didn't tag because tumblr doesn't let me tag so many people: also Louis. You all know who you are and I hope that even that you are not tag you feel the love and appreciation I have for you, you all make the fandom a lovely place to be in.
This fandom has being a home to me, thanks to everyone for sharing a little bit of your heart, thoughts, personality and talented to tumblr. I admire all of you and I'm grateful for this fandom. You all bring joy to the fandom. Happy 1d anniversary to all of you ❤️.
Is still 11:48 of the 23 so I'm still on time to post this. Thanks anon for the question.
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stuckinapril · 1 year ago
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how do some people just go about their day without crippling anxiety?? that lifestyle is so beyond me i cannot even conceptualize it. i have to hype myself up to do even the simplest shit
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theminecraftbee · 1 year ago
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you know, there are a lot of posts about how transitioning as an adult is like going through puberty all over again. and I’m not medically transitioning (at least not yet, maybe one day), so I don’t know if I ever expected to exactly experience that. after all, my hormones are at normal adult levels for someone on birth control. but no, some of the stuff I experience does make me feel like a teenager awkwardly becoming an adult again, actually.
see, I’m attending a friend’s wedding, and I need new formalwear for it (protip: it is generally frowned upon to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding, and that’s the last formalwear I purchased). and I just… really didn’t want to wear a dress, so I went to go get a suit. and I didn’t know how to get any of the required clothes for it and had to have a salesperson help me figure out how dress shirts work and nervously stood there while getting shown how to try stuff on and it really did feel like I was a lost teenager, despite being, you know, almost twenty-six.
but also: I own a three-piece suit now! it’s grey! it looks pretty good on me! I even got a blue tie with bees on it! so it was worth the temporary embarrassment of suddenly realizing I don’t know how men’s formalwear sizes work and, oh god, why are there so many variations of “white dress shirt” what does this mean.
and I figure as I very slowly work up the confidence to be out more irl there will be more and more moments like this, and I’ll lament the fact I didn’t do all this stuff as an actual teenager, but as weird and scary as it is, so far, it’s been worth it.
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murdockhawkeye · 16 days ago
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this is *maybe* a bit of a stretch but i still find interesting to think about? don't know if i have everything right
but
i feel like with the elemental opposite duos - emma & rikki, cleo & bella - you could reasonably say their arcs'd mirror each other in a way
like
emma and rikki have issues with responsibility/expectations but on opposite ends of the spectrum
emma was a gifted child, everyone had high expectations for her and she tried to meet those expectations the best she could. she’s responsible emma, who makes sure everyone is looked after, and everyone “knew” was going to become a top athlete, because look at all those trophies on her shelf
and then rikki on the other hand, was alone for “her own good.” she admitted to elliot that no one really liked her growing up, so when somebody did, it made her feel weird and she pushed them away. she stayed away from other people, made sure they never had any expectations of her
they both avoided disappointing others, by going to opposite extreme lengths
and then they overcame these issues, with emma facing a sudden change in her life (becoming a mermaid) that meant she had to give up her swimming dreams and disappoint the people in her life (that had to suck for her, honestly.) she had to come to terms with that - but then, she also found a whole new world that she’d never have been a part of, if things had gone the way she planned
and as for rikki - her biggest change wasn't the tail, but becoming friends with emma and cleo. had she'd her way and zane’d never gotten cleo stuck on that boat, she’d never become friends with them. rikki had to learn the hurdles of friendship and of keeping them, like when she mistook the different kinds of fish, when cleo and emma didn't support her relationship with zane, etc. they had their issues - but in the end, they were there for rikki, and rikki was there for them back. she'd have never gotten that kind of solidarity, had things gone the way she thought it would
and then there’s cleo and bella
bella - unfortunately, didn’t have much in terms of development, since the writers prioritized will’s relationship with her over expanding her character background+ for some reason ??
so i'm just mostly going to talk about cleo here first - but i'll get to bella in a second
cleo by s3 is a very confident and self-assured person; but she didn't start out that way. she was insecure, somewhat naive. she grew up overshadowed by her two best friends, the both of them being gifted in their own rights - emma, the young up and rising athlete, and lewis the science genius, they were sure to go places. cleo, on the other hand, was overlooked. she didn't have much going for her - except for adequate grades and a love of the marine life that was hindered by her fear of water
and then cleo became a *literal* mermaid. either she was going to avoid it or overcome it. in the end, she didn't just overcome her fear of water, but she also took a risk by taking that job at the marine park, where she'd be working right by the marine animals. she let her fear control her before, and she wasn't going to let it stop her from wanting to pursue things anymore
(funny, she started out with a fear of water, then became a mermaid. she struggled with her grades, then became a science genius)
bella, much like cleo - had her own issues when it came to the kind of attention she got, but the other way around. her first appearance, she was being catcalled. same ep, nate is drooling over her. they've made her beauty a point throughout s3. even cleo and rikki's brought it up. it. could not have been easy for her to deal with that, especially with her secret in mind
seeing that, even with the different issues when it came to attention, i think they'd still have had the same feelings about it. a younger bella, probably would've been similarly insecure/anxious as cleo had been - until she learned to be more sure about herself and grew into the bella we know and love today
(we should've gotten way more lore and background about bella, agh)
tldr; emma and rikki have same feelings but opposite reactions (people pleasing and people avoiding.) cleo and bella opposite situations but same feelings (overshadowed and center of attention)
yk, rikki was right in a way i think about the "universal law," but like, more about keeping in balance and not about trios. emma and rikki balance each other out, cleo and bella were *meant* to balance each other out. but in s2, bella wasn't there - charlotte was
do i blame the antagonizing of charlotte and cleo's out of characterness on the writers, or do i blame it on some magical semi-canon mermaid universal law about balance
blaming it on a mermaid universal law sounds more fun, and could have interesting implications. (though the writing grates me, still)
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skyrigel · 3 months ago
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I don't feel loved
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thefrogdalorian · 6 months ago
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I think on this fine Saturday afternoon it's a good opportunity to take a breather and remember that there are really no ethical paparazzi pictures. Every single one is inherently exploitative.
Just because photos were taken on a movie set, when someone is 'working,' does not make the practice any less invasive and creepy. Imagine just going about your day, doing your job and having some weirdo snapping pictures of you to sell without your consent for others to endlessly repost online.
There are thousands of pictures of your favourite actor online already. Plenty taken with his knowledge and consent. I'd really like to see more of them on my dash, rather than the creeper shots.
And don't get me started how disseminating these pictures directly leads to people going to said sets. What starts off as admiring how good someone looks has real world implications.
No, hanging around a movie set and disrupting people doing their jobs is not harmless fun or a way to show your appreciation.
If you hang around a movie set, you are a stalker.
Don't tell me that it's okay to take your online admiration for someone offline. You may admire him but he does not, and will never, personally know you. He will never be your friend/boyfriend/daddy. He is a stranger.
The only way meeting your favourite actor is going to happen is at a convention or maaaaaybe a movie premiere if you're incredibly fortunate. You know, places they appear specifically to meet fans (or not in the case of premieres, where the purpose is to promote a movie. Which is also completely understandable if actors don't stop. You are not owed an interaction).
Of course, you cannot help it if you randomly run into someone you admire in the wild. Even then, consider that they probably won't be all too thrilled to be approached in public by a complete stranger. It's up to you to gauge the situation, but remember there is a person at the heart of all of this.
Boundaries and respect are a kindness which deserves to be extended to each and every human being regardless of their looks/talent/fame/wealth.
Fandoms blur those lines a little too often for my liking and I think just scrutinising what you're interacting with, or what behaviour you could be possibly falling down that slippery slope towards is nice to do every once in a while.
I mean no malice with this post and it is not directed at anyone in particular. It's something I cannot help but feel strongly about because I've seen this destructive cycle time and again in fandoms over the years. It's not healthy and it makes us all a little bit more disconnected from our humanity for it...
#not naming names but....... screw it#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom#accepting you will never interact with or meet this man will set you free from misery and jealousy i promise#he's great! if you think he's great watch another movie! write about a character! edit some photos of him! make gifs!#there are many MANY ways to engage with his work which don't include reposting creepy invasive photos taken without his consent#it's bs that this is just 'part of the job' because WHY... why should it be any different than any other job??#i know we always venerate talent and put people on pedestals.... that's a tale as old as time#but seeing him blow up last year was wild to witness and some of the behaviour from newer fans is very disheartening to see#he's just a human who poops and farts and is a dick sometimes like the rest of us. let's not treat him like a god thanks#spud rants#a lot LOL#i've bottled this up for a bit because the way this developed in real time to people actually going to the set is. what#and don't 'if pedro was in your city' because NO??? i wouldn't STALK SOMEONE? there's 0 justification for it#i have far better things to do than stalk people#i may be an autistic flop but i'm not a CREEPY STALKER autistic flop thanks x#anyway like i said this is truly not @ anyone in particular and i don't think you are a terrible person if you interacted with the photos#but please just remember there is a person at the heart of all this#a very talented and attractive person yes... but a person all the same#i would truly hate to be famous it gives me so much anxiety just the thought of the constant scrutiny#good thing i never will be LOL#fandom wank#discourse
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