#like ���lesbians used to be called gay as well as men but now they do not do that anymore at all”

[gorespawn]

also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me

[jacketrepresents]

toward the end of the fall semester i had a class that was just a professor reading out wacky/hyperspecific/wrong/completely made up definitions for lgbt microidentities à la on here ten years ago. and today i had a class that was just people arguing loudly and impassionedly about food taxonomy à la people on the internet (feels like reddit but has happened in all these places i suppose) arguing about whether a hot dog is a sandwich. in the first case the professor was a self purported ally who maybe half remembered an infographic he saw and was rehashing his version with total confidence and definitely made like 25% of the room more homophobic. i cannot stress enough that this was the entire class period. in the second case the professor was trying to teach us abt semantic associations but unfortunately was not aware of the bizarre social niche these discussions have taken & was getting so annoyed at everyone carrying on. in both cases the experience of the class session was so absurd that i wish someone was there to see what i mean bc i can’t do it justice with prose

[genderqueerdykes]

is it entirely possible for me to want to, like, identify as cis AND trans ? for context I was born female, but I'm a transman .. To put it simply .. And I have an odd and confusing relationship with my womanhood, but it feels right in a way to say I'm a transman but also transfem ?? Buf like, cis trans man and transfem. Does this, work ?? I could probably ramble for hours about why I want to use both these labels. But I'm not sure if it'd be, disrespectful ?? misusing the terms ?? Just plain odd ??

Your blog is incredibly informative and your answers are as well so, yeah. can I use the labels transman and transfem.

yes! this absolutely works!!!!!

you are the type of person i've made a ton of posts about and i hope you don't mind if i'm kinda long winded here because i've been begging people to understand folks like you exist for weeks now and people just keep calling me transmisogynistic and it's absurd, i had no idea so many people didn't know your identity existed. here are some of the posts i've made about bigender cis men/transfems:

there is a long, long history of people who identify as cis men and a trans woman or transfem person. this is so common it's unreal. back in the 50's and 60's a lot of drag queens had this exact relationship with gender- sometimes presenting as cis men, or maybe still presenting as femme but being men. there were femme gays hanging out at the drag bars flirting with men and lesbians- identifying as femmes and men. there were drag balls held by people who had this exact relationship with gender going on around the time. you can read about a lot of these people in leslie feinberg's works actually!

the thing is is being cis doesn't cancel out being trans. bigenderism is complicated. if someone wants to consider both of their identities trans, they can. if someone wants to consider themselves cis and trans, they can! you are not in the wrong for being this gender! i've met so many people in your shoes! i lived with a lot of transfems for a while and a lot of them were cis men and trans women at the same time! a lot of trans women still feel like cis men, especially gay men. that's totally fine!

im really glad you took the time to send this ask because this is what i mean when i say that it's not okay to shit on cis men in the queer community or in general because cis men *can be queer*. you can be a cis man and a trans woman or any other number of genders at the same time and it doesn't not invalidate your transness! they don't have to cancel each other out, they exist at the same time independently of one another and it's a beautiful thing!

if you'd like to talk about it, please feel encouraged to do so! i've been trying to get people to understand people like you are out there and to not be shitty to people who are or read as cis men. it's okay to be a cis man and another queer identity! i think you rock! there are a ton of bigender cis men/transfems out there! you are not alone!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Look, This is gonna be one of those things that sounds bad until you read the whole story. Please don't read the title and go to 'yta' without reading.

AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

Look, My brother ISNT trans. He likes to wear kilts and sew, Which is what kind of started all of this. My brother is NOT trans, He loves being a boy (trust me, I can hear him enjoying being a boy in his room all the time. Theres no way he'd wanna chop it off(I mean this as a joke I don't actually know how the surgery works), He's told me multiple times that being told by others what he likes is 'feminine' and 'girly' upsets him because he's proud of being a boy and doesn't like being called a girl. Its not because he hates girls or thinks less of them, He just does not like being called the wrong gender which I'm sure you want to be called the correct gender too.)

Anyways lets begin. I (16F) am my little brothers (15M) best friend, Basically. We grew up together and do everything together, Including sewing. I liked it when I was younger, And eventually convinced him to try it as well. He loved it, And we love just sitting together and making random crap we usually end up selling at our yearly garage sale. (Our mom makes us sell all our unneeded crap every year, But we aren't complaining when we make like $100 for it, Mom and dad even help us figure out what we actually wanna keep (we sometimes see old things and go 'Oh I could never get rid of this' and then throw it away))

Sorry for the rambling, But you'll see why some of this is important to know.

Basically, We were getting our shit together for the garage sale, And invited over a mutual friend of ours, Who I'll call uhhh Ley (16F). Shes kind of obsessed with the LGBTQ and loves to help people 'realize' they're gay or trans or non-binary. By this I mean she'll literally bully people she 'knows' is gay or trans by always telling them they are and spreading rumors about them saying they are. The way she 'knows' these things are from gut feelings. I thought maybe she needed friends who would be honest with her and tell her gently that it needed to stop. She stopped being so bad with it and we even convinced her to admit to the rumors she started being fake. We've known her for around 3 years now, And she's stopped doing it as aggressively for 2 of those years. She still makes jabs and 'jokes' saying things like "Oh thats so girly, Are you sure you're not trans?" and "Oh thats such a boy thing to do, Are you a lesbian?", Both quotes she's said to me and my brother less than a week ago. I am straight and cis, So is my brother. We have nothing against the lgbt, We just aren't apart of it. We support the lgbtq as much as possible (with my part time job I like to donate some of my paycheck towards point of pride so people who need the surgeries or binders can get them), And are very open about supporting them.

While we were cleaning out my brothers room and finding stuff to throw into the 'sell' box (we like to do precleaning before our parents help us, It makes everything faster and less work on the people trying to help), And Ley found my brothers kilt. She did a long exaggerated gasp, Looking at my brother.

"So, How long have you been trans? Why didn't you tell me?? I knew it the whole time!"

My brother tried to explain that it was a kilt for men, And he wasn't trans, But she kept interrupting him saying crap like 'you don't have to lie I know now' and 'Its nothing to be embarrassed about, I knew ever since you started to sew'. The last straw for me was when she continued not listening to him and started to ask about how he was gonna come out as school. I yelled at her to get out, That neither of us were gay, Neither of us are trans, And neither of us are apart of any of the lgbtq. We are allies and nothing more. She tried to argue that he had a 'skirt' which OBVIOUSLY meant he was trans, I basically screamed at her that she was a stupid know it all who made everyone who wasn't apart of the lgbtq's life hell because she made sure everyone knew them as someone they arent (I know, I shouldn't of brought up 2 years in the past) and that I was tired of her trying to force everyone to be in the LGBTQ when its just not realistic. Not everyone is gay or trans, Some people are cis and straight. She started crying and left, We haven't spoken in a few days but I think I'm justified. I'm tired of living my life being told I'm something I'm not, I'm tired of seeing it happen to my brother too.

My brother later thanked me for standing up for him, Telling me it made him really upset when she said those things. To cheer him up we watched his favorite movies and I made him his favorite dinner (mom and dad both work day jobs so we both make lunch and dinner)

And for those who are gonna say that allies are apart of the LGBTQ I strongly believe the A is for aro/ace. Being an ally isn't a gender or sexuality

(unless people identify using ally/allyself of course or whatever it is, I'm not quite sure how neos work or whatever but I love to see how creative people get with it and am happy it gives people who don't identify with any of the normalized(? Idk the correct term but yknow the man woman and nb) genders a chance to be who they actually are)

Extra info on why I think I could be the asshole: I feel like we might've been able to explain it if we got her to shut up for a minute, But she kept talking over us. I feel like I went too far by insulting her, And I feel like I might be TA because she's also autistic (so is my brother though, And I have ADHD).

Why I think I'm NTA: My brother is really quiet and doesn't really defend himself often. He doesn't really know how to stand up for himself and is 'easy' to talk over (soft spoken, Quiet talking voice and nonconfrontational) which is why I believe I had to step in in his place, And I don't believe I did anything wrong defending my brother and making her stop calling him what hes not.

Anyways. AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

To see later: PINK PANTHER

What are these acronyms?

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Lesbian Pulp Breakdown #2

Here for another pulp breakdown ! (Finally 🙈)

This one will also have spoilers and lots of triggering content. Please be warned.

This pulp fiction breakdown is for Lesbian Love by SV Miller. 100%, absolutely written by a straight man. This book is WILD, and significantly worse than the last one I posted about Alone At Last, which I didn’t think was possible. Because that one was a train wreck.

So in this one we have our protagonist Aggie; now Aggie is married to a man called Jim but she also sleeps around and has affairs a lot. The first three chapters, if I recall, were literally just her having affairs with other men and then getting mad at her husband for accusing her of having affairs. Her and Jim have a very toxic and volatile relationship, as well as being very inconsistent in the way they approach each other, the way the approach themselves and their marriage. It’s wild.

Anyway, she gets to the point where she’s like: I don’t want to be in this marriage anymore. I don’t like him. I don’t like what we’re doing. We’re always fighting, throwing things at each other and then we end up being intimate. She hated it. Then she found an advertisement for a sanctuary away from men that was supposed to heal her, heal the relationship and get her away from there; BUT to get there she had to have a lot of money so she ended up having even more of an affair and putting herself in very dangerous situations to get the money. Though when she did, phew, off she went - she was there. It was all secret and she was given these very weird and ominous directions to get there, she wasn’t allowed to bring certain things with her etc.

When Aggie is there, it becomes very clear to us, the reader, she has just entered a massive cult. It’s also when this book just dives head first into all of its problems.

This isn’t to say Alone At Last was a good book by any stretch of the imagination, however, it did hold little nuggets of positivity, mainly in the areas of acknowledging homosexuality was natural and not having the main lesbian character end up dead or in an institution. This book can’t even say it has that going for it.

This pulp genuinely felt like a homophobic pamphlet fever dream.

There was so much sexual assault in this book committed by a lesbian, but sometimes the author would jump around on if it was assault or not in a very uncomfortable way that felt like it was rooted in a fetish.

So we have our lead lady, Aggie, introduced to this lesbian commune that is run by the lesbian dictator Helen. A rich woman set on assaulting women, keeping them trapped in this isolated location, and “turning” them gay - or as this book likes to paint it, corrupting women to sin.

There is a massive emphasis all throughout the book about how broken, unnatural and wrong lesbians are, ( the very last line is “I feel … normal!”) while simultaneously sexualising them for male titillation. With big strong men to come in towards the end and save them all.

It tries to entice us into the plot with this evil lesbian cult commune plot , where women are forced to pair up with one anther in this instance Aggie is forced to be with both Helen and a woman called Grace ; Grace is also the character Aggie ends up snot being attracted to, but only because she is in a “perverse” place). These women are locked up in torcher chambers if they don’t comply to the Evil Lesbians or try to run away.

In the end this pulp is probably a textbook example of what people think of nowadays when they think of old school lesbian pulp. With terrible writing on top! It was genuinely a slog to get through. Even though it’s relatively small it took me 4 months to finish reading it because it was just so terrible and had no redeeming qualities about it. Just a terrible mess of assault, homophobia and horrible writing.

Let’s hope the next one is better.

[aishabellasbigblogofeverything]

Everytime I see one of those “oh don’t say you hate all men because that includes x minority men so you’re being a bigot!” genres of posts I feel like slamming my face or someone else’s face into the nearest wall. Like do you not realize the difference between being bigoted against a certain minority group and women having a justified rational logical hatred towards the gender/group that as a whole oppresses and mistreats us and sees us as less than??? Like it’s like if someone said that poc aren’t allowed to say that they hate white people because white gay people exist and therefore you’re being homophobic against white gay people. Like shut the fuck up, dumbass. This is clearly just a tactic to silence women for speaking out against misogyny in a way that doesn’t coddle or center men’s feelings like…if you can’t tell the difference between a woman saying that she hates men as a whole and bigotry towards a specific group of marginalized men then you’re a fucking disgraceful idiot and a misogynist lemme be the first one to tell you, don’t even pretend to be a feminist or anti-terf if you think a woman saying she hates men is saying that all men are bad or that she hates minority men in particular. Like

These two posts are the exact fucking same despite being written by two separate people. It’s like you can’t even conceive of the existence of marginalized WOMEN because your view of oppression starts and ends with men and “misandry is real you guys i swear 🥺” like do you think all the women who hate men are white cishet able-bodied perisex thin women and no one else lol do Black women brown women trans women lesbian/bisexual women fat women intersex women disabled women etc. even cross your damn mind? Are you completely fucking ignorant to the fact that all men have male privilege and are capable of using it against women and being misogynistic even if they don’t all have equal access to it/don’t hold systemic power against all groups of women or do you think that somehow only the most privileged echelons of white men can ever do anything wrong or sexist ever? “When you say all men you mean ALL men” yes I do, so? What’s your point? You gonna stop talking now or what? Like it or not there is no marginalized identity that shields a man from male privilege/misogyny or him being able to be called out for it lol there just isn’t and if you try to pretend that it is or that some men are above criticism(like how some people used to say that gay men can’t be misogynistic because they’re not sexually attracted to women) then you’re ignoring the women in those communities who are also oppressed not just by society at large but by the men in those communities who hold systemic institutional and social power over them. ALL men have hating women in common! Read that sentence again!!! Hating men as an oppressive class(which, let’s face it, is what they are) because the majority of them DO hurt or act sexist towards women in some way shape or form is not the same as hating men for their marginalized status because I can guarantee you that women with those marginalized statuses have it WAY way worse and hate men as well and are the vast majority of the people making these complaints about men to begin with, lol, so shut your damn mouths if you don’t have anything important or valuable to say.

They just hate to hear women talking about hating men because it upsets their fragile feelings so they look for any excuse to tell us that we’re the bad guys actually and dress it up under progressive thought when really they’re just the patriarchy’s asskissers, because before long they’re gonna start saying that you’re not allowed to hate white cishet men who are the most privileged in society. It’s just “not all men” in diverse dressing:

Like it never even occurs to these idiots that the women making these statements are also trans or poc or whatever other group and may very well have experienced misogyny and oppression from these groups and now they’re calling us “bioessentialist” and terfs for it as if we say we hate men because we think that they’re innately evil when really we KNOW they aren’t biologically hardwired to be that way! But the vast majority of them ARE that way because they choose to be, because of the social benefits they get from treating women as lesser, them being oppressed too doesn’t change that lol. These people don’t actually care about trans men or Black men or disabled men or queer men or whatever men they just want to pretend men as a whole are a victimized oppressed class just because some girl wrote “I hate men I wish they’d all kill themselves” in a Tumblr post once and they somehow think that’s the same as getting your rights violently stripped away but they want to look “progressive” about their Mra ideology so here you go. If you say you hate men then you’re a terf and gender essentialist! ‘Nuff said! I am very smart! 🤓

And one more thing, like…nobody who makes “I think all men should die” posts is like 100% serious about it lol. Like we all know that men aren’t going to all drop down dead because posts like these are being made lol. If they did then it would’ve happened a long time ago, and not just on Tumblr but on other social media sites too. These posts ultimately do nothing and have no power to hurt any man anywhere whatsoever. You’re all just angsting over literally fucking nothing. NOTHING, my darlings! Women are ALLOWED to vent about their anger they feel at the patriarchy because of what MEN(and it IS men) put them through without someone trying to make them feel guilty with some sort of gotcha to prove to them that they were secretly a hateful bigot all this time. Like I’m sorry if these posts offend you…grow up, maybe? Breathe some fresh air? Touch some grass? Interact with friends and family off the ‘net? You’ll realize pretty quickly how little some angry tumblr posts about how all men should be swept up in a storm cloud actually matter and effect people in the real world. Maybe instead of defending men and policing the way women complain about their oppression because it’s not nice enough for you you could instead work on combatting misogyny(you know, an actual real world problem??? 🙃🙃🙃) and making the women around you feel safe and treat them as equals so that they don’t feel annoyed at men enough to the point of complaining about how horrible men are to them. These posts aren’t made just for funsies they’re an actual legit response to the hostility men unleash upon women in every section of our lives every single goddamn day and I’ve had enough with a lot of you bitches trying to find any excuse to silence women when we talk about these things. Just scroll away or block us if it bothers you so much. It is so so free to do and takes very little effort, far less effort than actually getting up from your computer and taking a good long stretch which is what some of you fuckers actually need. That’s it I’m done here. Gonna go drink some water and eat a cookie.

[buttercreamdicks]

I guess if I am going to gather my thoughts about Link and the Eagle, I first have to gather my thoughts about Link and gender and expression. I have been through a lot of fandoms, I have been through a lot of ships, and I have always been against the oft-pervading logic that "This man is gay because [insert stereotypes of gay men performing femininized behaviors or underperforming masculinized behaviors]." One of the reasons I interpret my feelings on Link and gender as #my lesbian queen link neal is -- well, okay, because it's nonsensical and funny, but also because I specifically do not really want to fanon that he is gay because he wears a purse or whatever. One of the other reasons I interpret my feelings on Link and gender as a joke about being a queer female is because when Link says he is an unserious man I feel that unseriousness in manhood as hewing close to my own experience as a queer female; I recognize a lot of my own self or at least my own self's willingness to be "weird" (i.e., plainly honest) about gender and sexuality and affection in the idiosyncratic ways he expresses these things as well.

The main thing that hooked me into Rhett & Link was finding out that they grew up in the Southern conservative Evangelical culture in the '90s. Something that I think about a lot is how Rhett has talked about how Link was the weird kid, how people found him annoying, how he stayed at home and played with his wrestling dolls, how the moment they really became best friends was when Rhett punched that kid for making fun of Link. How in high school everyone thought they were gay. Rhett spent almost all his time with Link anyway. How even now Rhett talks about having to protect Link from himself, from embarrassing himself. And how Link talks about himself as someone who commits faux pas, and about liking that he has a safety net in Rhett, someone who will watch out for him.

Like the thing about Rhett is he performs the masculinity they grew up with well, and apparently always has: good grades, good athlete, just enough unexamined toxicity to his masculinity that he often doesn't pass my vibe check. I didn't grow up in the South or in Christianity but I grew up in the late '90s and I was steeped in enough of same culture of gender that I can recognize the mannerisms that Link has even today that would have been labeled as "weird," and the names he might have been called: sissy, mama's boy, fag. Rhett could have gone through life without ever encountering that, but he didn't. He chose to stick with Link, and he chose specifically to stick with a conception of himself as protecting Link.

And the thing with Link is he continued to be the way he was. He kept enough of those same mannerisms and ways of expressing himself that even now, as a grown man, he is the one a fandom will say is gay, is the twink, is the bottom. Whether he explicitly chose not to change, or is just one of those people who is incapable of not being exactly himself, I don't know. Probably both? Most of us who are queer (in the sense of sexuality or in the sense of being seen as strange) are both.

I also think sometimes of what Link's conception of himself would be if he weren't surrounded by people who have known him forever, or people who know someone who’s known him forever. If everybody's first impression of him wasn't mediated by a bunch of people who carry around his old teenage self crystallized in amber, who grew up in the same culture that thought he was weird, who still spend their time thinking they need to run interference for the way he talks and acts and feels. Because another thing that hooked me into Rhett & Link was how nearly every person in every piece of media they produce says "This guy is weird and awkward and makes people feel bad" when everything I took from watching him was This guy is honest and open and makes me feel good. Like if you just met him, on your own, would you even think anything was strange? If it was just him, without his past, would anybody think he wasn't enough?

[showsandstuff]

Am I the only one who is disappointed with Caitvi in season two? When I watched the first season I had the biggest caitvi brain rot because they actually gave me SUCH a fun dynamic with them. Buddy cop Caitvi was hilarious, I loved that so so much!

And season 2 started of strong imo but then it rushed through everything. I loved the scene in the cell, obviously, but it was misplaced. Your sister is about to kill herself girl what are you doing this is not the time!! And other than romantic and sexual tension there wasn't all that much left of their previous dynamic aside from the brief scene in episode six...

Idk, I think I'm just annoyed. Usually when I see a non canon gay ship get more traction than the Canon lesbian couple, I just assume it's misogyny or lesbophobia, and move on with my life. But I can't even do that here because Caitvi was WAY more popular in season 1 (as they should).

Jayvik isn't getting somewhat more popular in season 2 because people don't like lesbians, but because their arcs are connected so strongly to each other. (Also I'm not saying that Jayvik is now more popular than Caitvi, but it's like a graph where the super high stocks caitvi are still even while Jayvik is skyrocketing rn)

Wanna know why Jayvik wasn't all that popular in season 1? Because (after act 1) their arcs were mostly separate, safe for a couple of moments. Viktor worked on his body and Jayce was doing politics.

Caitlyn and Vis arcs intertwined more, they actually did shit together and it was beautiful, funny, romantic, EVERYTHING!

Also a fun opposites attract buddy cop dynamic is also just more fun than men who do science together (in my personal opinion)

Now let's look at Caitlyn and Vis relationship in season two.

It starts of strong. I momentarily thought that Caitlyn was uncharacteristically mean to Vi when she refused to become an enforcer, but she apologized for it later and I recognized the fact that Caitlyn was grieving. Then once we get to episode two and three I could already feel their relationship being a bit more odd. The kiss (though I cheered) didn't feel right. I felt like something was missing, and that was their chemistry from season one. Also I feel like we glossed over too many decisions that Caitlyn made, and I think Vi should've put a stop to it sooner. But overall I was okay with them in act 1.

Then we had a timeskip and the two were fully separated. Act 2 literally started with Caitlyn in bed with another woman, like we can see they're not together anymore. Caitlyn has obviously changed, there is not much of the sweet cupcake left that we had come to love in season 1, and Vi is boxing and getting drunk.

Then they meet and like... Vi calls Cait cupcake, and Cait switches sides IMMEDIATELY? GIRL WTF?!

I get that Caitlyn wasn't entirely on Ambessas side the entire time, but I had hoped for more drama first. So you're telling me the very next interaction the two have after their heart wrenching falling out is them making up again? Come on.

Then we had act 3 and overall it was better I think but the timing of their hot scene in the cell was just odd, like what about your sister about to kill herself? I was very happy and hyped in the moment but then I realized how rushed this was. Why? Why make em fuck right here? And in the final act, the two weren't together because again, their arcs were not as connected. And that's actually pretty cool to have a couple who do their own things! But it doesn't help their relationship when they, in turn, aren't given enough time to develop as a pair!

I feel like season 1 did this incredible job of setting these characters up, showing us why they work so well together and why they would fall for one another. And season 2 gave us pay off for it but with very little set up, which was needed because of how Cait changed throughout the season. I don't mention Vi here because she did not change. She had her drunk boxing phase, which we got nothing but a montage off, but everything else is basically season 1 Vi aside from very few things here and there. Like her becoming an enforcer wasn't a character change for Vi, her finally letting go of powder and calling her sister Jinx, wasn't a big character moment for Vi, they were pay off for a set up we didn't get enough of.

SO TO GET TO MY POINT:

S2 was rushed. We should've AT LEAST gotten 3 seasons, like minimum, because there was a whole lot of plot and very little moments in between for characterization. Especially for Caitlyn and Vi and their relationship to each other.

I still generally prefer Caitvi to Jayvik, but only because of season 1. Season 2 gave me the two things I wanted most (a sexy scene and a kiss) but forgot to give me the things that made me fall in love with this ship in the first place.

Which was the hilarious buddy cop dynamic of rich girl cop Cait, and broke butch prisoner Vi.

[the-froschamethyst4]

When your child comes out to him

————

COD Men Headcanons

————

König

Your daughter was nervous, scared even

She spent too much time of TikTok and watched how coming out videos turned for the worse

She just didn’t want that to happen

Her mom already knew, she figured it out but her father König, clueless he didn’t know

“Heidi, your father is home!” Y/n calls from the bottom of the stairs

It was a plan to do it when he gets home and today was that time

Heidi comes downstairs and sees him hugging her mom and kissing her temple, she plays with her fingers to she was acknowledged by him

“Hey, Heidi, how was school?”

“Good….dad?”

“Yes?”

“I have something to tell you.”

“Okay, what is it?” She looks at her mom and she nods to her daughter to give her and her husband some time together

“Umm~ I…I…” she didn’t know how to start this. “Dad I like someone.”

“Oh really? Is he nice?”

He?

“No dad umm~ I…I like a girl…her name is Stella…dad, I’m….I’m a lesbian…I like girls dad.”

König was a little shocked by what his daughter said but the shock wore off and it turned into happy tears

“DAD?!” She yells

“I’m so happy,” he says, walking to his daughter and holding her in an embrace

Y/n comes around the corner and saw her husband holding her daughter in a warm hug

“Did you know?” He asked Y/n

“I did…she was just nervous to tell you.”

“Heidi you are my daughter, my blood, you can love who you want to love, that is your decision.”

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

Ghost



Oh come on, he knew

He figured it out

He pays great attention to minor details

He figured it out when he saw his son look at his best friend

And Ghost put the pieces together

His son Silas was nervous to tell his father not knowing he already knew

“Dad.”

“Yeah?” He says.

“I want to tell you something.”

“I already know, bud.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I know…you’re gay…”

“H-How did you?”

“When we went on that family holiday to the beach and you took your friend Mark with you…I saw how you two acted…I know bud and it’s okay…”

“Dad-“

“It’s okay bud. You are allowed to love who you wanna love. I’m not allowed to judge, it’s all about you, bud.”

“So you’re not…”

“What disappointed? Fuck no bud. Thats ridiculous to get upset about.”

“Thanks dad.”

“Of course bud.”

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

Price

Like König he was clueless, his wife knew but he didn’t

Your son Beau was bisexual but was too afraid to say anything to Price

He was scared if his dad will accept him or not

Price came home from the gym, setting his bag on the ground and saw a little note by his wife letting him know she was at the store

Beau was sitting on the couch with his best friend Emmett

They didn’t know Price was home they looked at each other and without thinking they kissed

Which of course caught Price off guard

“Beau?” He says, both boys pulled away from each other jumping from the couch. Beau was stunned along with his best friend

“Dad, it’s not what it looks like.”

“I think it’s exactly what it looks like, and bud…it’s okay, but what about Charlotte?”

“We broke up.”

“Oh…I see, well, have fun, I’ll be in my office, tell if you need anything.”

“Is he okay?” Emmett asked.

“I think he’s just in shock,” Beau says.

And he was, but he was proud of his son

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

Soap

Soap’s daughter was transitioning

He was changing his look, how he spoke and Soap didn’t notice his daughter changing before his eyes

He didn’t go by Kiara anymore but Kyle

Kyle was so scared to talk about him transitioning to his father and how Soap may not understand, Kyle broke when Soap kept calling him Kiara and using she and her

“Kiara, can you come unload the dishwasher please?” Soap calls.

Kyle was doing homework and needed to get it done, so he accidentally snapped at Soap.

“Not now I have schoolwork to do, I won’t have time and it’s Kyle!” He rolls his eyes at Soap.

“Kyle? Who the hell is Kyle?” He asked, Kyle paused and realized what he just did

“Shit,” he mumbles under his breath

“Kiara?”

“Dad,” before he snapped again, he took a deep breath and tried to compose himself. “Dad…I’m transgender…I’m not Kiara anymore, I’m Kyle…I’m not a girl anymore, I’m a boy.”

“Does your mother know?”

“Yes…I was just scared to tell you.”

“Oh, baby, it’s okay…I’m sorry I’ve been calling you the wrong name. You are my child…I understand, I have a few co-worker who are trans. I will try my hardest to call you by the right name and right pronouns. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay dad,” Kyle smiles at him.

“So, can you unload now?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

Alejandro

You daughter wasn’t too nervous

Like König’s daughter she saw videos gone wrong but knowing her father, he will be just fine with it

Maria gets the strength and goes downstairs to where Alejandro sits on the couch

Maria was coming out as aromatic something that was light and something Alejandro may not understand that much

“Papa.”

“Yeah?”

“I have something to tell you.”

“Okay? What is it-wait is it something bad?”

“I don’t think so?”

“You don’t think so?”

“Papa!”

“Okay, okay, go on.”

“You know how I talked about not possibly being attracted to some people?”

“Yeah?”

“And you know how I said, that some people could also not feel love towards others?”

“Yes? Maria where’s this going?”

“Papa! I’m aromatic, I don’t have romantic feelings towards anyone, I don’t love anyone, I don’t know if could love anyone. I thought maybe something was wrong with me because I see how you and mami are and I don’t feel that way with anyone.”

Maria was talking fast, Alejandro could barely keep up with her words

“Amor, please, I think I understand.”

“Really?”

“Poco (little).”

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

Gaz

Your son Kai was changing his look

Kai was becoming non-binary

Using They Them pronouns

Their mother accepts them

But what about their dad?

They were always worried about their dad. Their dad was a Sergeant and was nervous

Gaz has been picking up on his son’s appearance and how sometimes his wife will use they them pronouns when talking about his son

It does catch him off guard a bit and wants to know what’s going on

“Hey K, could I come in?”

“Yeah dad.”

“What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” Kai asked a bit concerned

“Your mom…she keeps saying they a lot when she is talking about you…is everything okay?”

Your son swallowed a lump in his throat

Gaz looks around the bedroom seeing how it changed from the last time he’s seen. Sure they live in the same house together but he never came into Kai’s room because he never needed anything from Kai

“What’s that?” Gaz notices a flag on his son’s wall

Kai turns seeing he was asking about the non-binary flag.

“Dad…I’m non-binary.”

“What does that mean?”

“I use they, them pronouns, I haven’t changed that much, I’m still Kai. I just don’t believe I have a certain gender.”

“But you’re a-“

“A boy? Sometimes I don’t feel like one and I don’t feel feminine either…so I don’t identify with anything or anyone. So I don’t have a gender. I know it may be a bit confusing.”

“No, I think I get it. You just don’t identify as a boy or girl. You use they them pronouns. I get it, I’ll try my best to respect everything.”

“Thanks dad.”

[professorfcknmoriarty]

okay but the version of the story where Jennifer Drips and Jack Manhattan hooked up on the side - maybe it was one of the reasons his wife left him, maybe it only started after they agreed to separate.

it's not anything super serious, just two attractive adults finding themselves in semi-consistent contact and taking advantage of an easy way to burn some stress relief.

so when Paula finds herself in the body of a man, it's after a lifetime of compulsive heterosexuality. there were a multitude of reasons she and Don had split up after a lifetime together, children together. but she'd always had this feeling in her gut that the life she'd built for herself wasn't for her, it was for someone she was trying to convince herself to be.

sure, she's noticed women were attractive before. thought about how unfair it was when all the girls she grew up with were absolutely everything she wanted to be and he badly she wanted to be one of them, to be with them. but she's not gay that's something other people are. she likes men - maybe even a little too much - and no one has ever used the term "bisexual" around her, so of course she'd just straight.

(nothing wrong with being a lesbian, she thinks. after all, up until she'd found out about Liv's interest in Russell, she'd assumed the young girl was one of them.)

but here's this incredibly, astoundingly hot woman that isn't just a stranger that looks at her funny when she stares a little googly-eyed, it's Russell. It's Russell's voice and so many things she liked Russell for. Jennifer is funny and smart and competent, so incredibly protective of her - his - nephew and always knows just what to say at the right moment, always willing to step in when someone needs something or is in trouble.

so she's not only stuck wondering, am I into Jennifer because I have a dick now and because she's Russell or is it something more than that?

all the while, her body has urges she's never thought too long about before. she's got a thing between her legs, that feels different from the one time she convinced Don to let her put on a strap (he hadn't like it. she didn't like to think about how much she had) and she wants to do things with it. not just things, though, she can't stop having flashes to moments where she has done things with it, where she's had Jennifer's lithe legs around this body's neck, where she's pressed hot kisses to plump red lips, stared into deep, intense eyes as she's fucked a woman's body into oblivion.

am I a lesbian? she thinks, when it's all over, and she's back in her plump, buxom form that she'd spent so many years accepting as her own, that feels like a different person in so many ways. she looks at Russell and she doesn't think about him on top of her the way she did before. she thinks about the way Jennifer's body had look splayed out on the hotel room bed, with Paula over her.

and Russell? well Russell's always been more of a bottom than anything else, even if he does like to switch from time to time. it's weird, being in this feminine form but he doesn't dislike it. it's kind of refreshing. the hair is a lot to suddenly contend with and it's awful how many people whistle and cat call at him in the street, looking at him like a piece of meat and nothing more.

but it's nice all the same. running his hands up along his chest and feeling a shapely form in place of his previously muscular one. putting on a dress and not feeling gangly and strange with too many limbs and not enough room to cover them all.

he flips his hair.

it's a performance. but it's also not.

I'm gonna grow out my hair, he thinks, when it's all over, and maybe talk to my doctor.

anyway, this is the version of the story where Paula realizes she's a butch bisexual and Russell embraces their inherent femininity.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hello, I think we are mutuals? Anyway I need to talk about it with someone and nobody is in the mood for it, so I might just speak here and you can answer or not. For context I am an adult lesbian from Argentina so everything that I'm about to say is really personal. The president of my country is a big MAGA fanboy, the little shit has been over his heels for Trump since the orange man has shown a little attention to him, recently the whole country saw Trump shit on latinos and thought "well, you are dumb if you as a latino love the orange man", so the president to maintain his chair near Trump decided to go to davos (a conference about economy) and say the most insane bullshit I've ever heard. He said that gay couples shouldn't adopt because they are most likely to rape the children, that trans surgery and hormon replacement shouldn't be allowed and that trans people support genital mutilation, he said that femicides aren't real because men also kill other men, and a lot of more shit that at least I knew that he had said it before being president but never acted on it. Now I wake up to the news that his party will try to remove the character of femicide from the civil code. He had said that he also wants to ban abortion (it was recently approved in 2020 after a lot of figth search marea verde Argentina), he defunded hormonal change (here we have public medicine so trans people used to have access to it, not the easiest to get but still better than none), he defunded hiv treatment (and his party calls it the gay virus) and a lot of fucked up stuff like acting like the congress doesn't exist and paying people to get laws approved. I am afraid, he wants to use our suffer to hide his economics mistakes and the fact that he has nazis (yes, actual nazis, yes people from the nazi as in germany 1945 nazi party) in the goverment. I am really frustrated, nobody cares, nobody talks seriously about it and just last year a man burned alive four lesbians (of course the goverment said it wasn't important). I might just get murdered and nobody would care, the goverment calls me and every university student a terrorist for angry because they defunded public education and people just nods. I hate everything that's going on and I don't need first world pity just some knowledge of what is going on here, tiktok goes down a few hours and everyone goes insane, gay people in my country are getting hunted down and nobody bats an eye. It's frustrating to live like this really. Sorry for the rant I'm just really angry and I don't know who to talk to. Thanks for reading if you do ♡

Hi <3 Please don't be sorry about the rant. I don't think anything I say can really help in this situation so I'm going to post this so hopefully more people can learn about what's happening. I'm sending you love, though.

[our-lesboy-experience]

hiii!!! so uh, this is sorta about 'contradicting' (?) identities in general, but i only recently found out about, like, lesboys and gaygirls and all of that, but what is it exactly? like how does it work? or is that weird to ask? i'm trying figuring myself out but a lot of stuff i've seen doesn't exactly... explain it (or explain it well), and while i guess i do get why, it's just kinda hard to understand it myself for my own identity

also, probably a question you get a lot in a hating way, but isn't the definition of lesbian nonman loving nonman? so then how does lesboy work? like is it for people with more complicated gender identites, like fluctuating genders and bigender? just genuinly confused, my apologies...

sorry for not getting to this sooner- been busier lately and didn't have the time to collect everything I needed to respond!

About what it exactly means to be a lesboy or a gaygirl ('turigirl' is the more common term, 'turi' meaning turian, another word for gay attraction to men. so I'll be referring to it as that from now on), there isn't exactly....one right way to call yourself such. it really depends on the person, but I can give you a basic definition and a list of common reasons someone may call themselves such

im gonna put a read more because this ended up being super long so sorry

lesboy is a term for any lesbian who may have a connection to manhood and/or masculinity. turigirl is just the opposite of that, a gay person (mlm/nblm) who may have a connection to womanhood and/or femininity. common reasons I've seen are:

being multigender or genderfluid

being cusper/in between trans and cis gnc (in between trans man and cis gnc woman, in between trans woman and cis gnc man)

being a system who uses lesboy/turigirl as a collective identity or when identities blur together

a person who uses man/boy or woman/girl as a means of masculine or feminine gender expression but not actually identifying as such

being a trans man/ftm or a trans woman/mtf who still identifies as lesbian or gay for personal reasons

those are far from all the reasons, everyone has their own unique experiences, but the gist is these people may have some sort of connection to manhood/womanhood while still having a queer attraction. personally, I'm multigender, genderfluid, and transmasc. lesboy I find is a nice label to express being both my bigender self and being a lesbian, as it forces people to acknowledge both without separating the two. it's cute and makes me feel validated!

as for "nonman attracted to nonmen" definition of lesbian......it has its issues. it's received criticism all around from all sorts of lesbians in the community. this definition is very new - it emerged only in the recent years, and someone on twitter had date searched it and found it didn't even really exist before 2019. and having that as the one and only official definition that every lesbian has to abide by, when lesbian is a centuries old word with so much history behind it, is a bit ignorant. people who are multiple genders or ftm or bi being lesbian is not even remotely new, going back decades upon decades, and it never stopped existing too. It's a bit weird to have a whole new definition that doesn't include all sorts of lesbians that have been here for so long and just tell them they're not welcomed anymore, right?

that's not even close to the only issue there is with it. it's been disliked for centering lack of attraction to men, or defining lesbian in relation to men, rather than who we're actually attracted to. putting nonbinary people in a new binary of either being "men or nonmen," which not all feel comfortable putting themselves into. especially when considering a definition of gay being "nonwomen attracted to nonwomen," man-woman bigender people are simultaneously excluded from being both lesbian or gay. It inherently overlaps with mspec identity ("attraction to nonmen, which is more than one gender" and "any orientation that involves attraction to more than one gender" kinda obviously overlap), despite people insisting that a lesbian can never be mspec. people have found multiple loopholes in it, (which I can elaborate on if someone wants me to, for the sake of trying to make this as short as possible), and lastly, and term "nonman" (and nonwoman) were found to have existed before to describe the degendering of black people in society. this isn't the only source I've seen for this, but sadly I can't exactly find it (or find it without going back to that hellsite called twitter and I'm not doing that to myself)

oh and as the link points out, defining lesbian by these words also ends up excluding a lot of two-spirit people from ever identifying as lesbian, myself included. which is also really racist. I don't know how you're gonna end up excluding a whole cultural gender that's common for indigenous americans to describe themselves with and try to prove it somehow isn't racist, to be honest

and lastly, some surveys/polls have shown that the definition isn't the most widely accepted by lesbians as people make it out to be. there's this simple poll that someone posted asking how lesbians felt about the definition that received 1,529 responses, and 61.1% of voters said they disliked it. comments gave lots of reasons I've stated already. there was another survey put out that received 211 responses that for any lesbian who had a genderqueer or unique relationship with gender, and one of the questions asking opinions on the "nonmen loving nonmen" as a definition. the average among the group was slightly negative (average 2.838), and reported that the group who tended to feel the most positively about it didn't consider themselves to be trans, with the other positive leaning group considered themselves to be somewhat cis. the group that felt the most negatively sometimes considered themselves to be trans. and of the multigender participants, the average opinion was 2.255 (more negative than the overall average). When concluding, the original poster stated, "When divided by gender, the only groups to feel positive about this definition were "not trans" and "somewhat cis" participants. Multigender participants felt especially negative about this definition"

all of this shows that this definition isn't nearly the best for everyone who considers themselves a lesbian. I know it's been a way to include nonbinary people who are lesbian in it's definition, but I think it really misunderstands why nonbinary people are included in lesbianism in the first place, and just assumes that all nonbinary people aren't men and fails to recognize that multigender/genderfluid people are nonbinary too. and it's not like lesbian has to only have on definition- it can definitely have multiple and depend on each person's experience with it. if someone personally defines them being lesbian around being a nonman attracted to nonmen, and takes pride in not being attracted to men, that's totally fine. what becomes a problem is forcing all lesbians to define themselves like this and make it the standard, or else they're "not real lesbians." it is ahistorical and ignorant to require this or else you'll strip them of their lesbian status, and is really at the end of the day, lesbophobic. especially as a requirement that primarily exists in online spaces. im sure the lesbian who is not at all connected to these circles doesn't particularly care about strict requirements or whether someone is a "nonman" or not. in conclusion, it is not the best nor most accepted definition of lesbian, and deciding which lesbians are valid or not based solely on that definition is pretty exclusionary and ends up policing a lot of lesbians, myself included

[genderqueerdykes]

yknow what really confuses me is why so many like generally chill but not super well informed cis people don't even have a concept of trans men and transmascs. like how do you hear about trans women and be cool with it and not mentally complete the inverse and assume there's probably trans men around too? why would it be so uniquely one way around and not the other?

it's so weird, i appreciate you pointing this out. this is why i try very hard to stress that outside of queer communities, people have NO clue what a trans man or transmasc is. like whenever you talk to the random uninformed potentially transphobic person next to you in public, they will "know" what a trans woman is (and by that i mean a transmisogynistic caricature) but if you try to bring up trans men they get confused and think you're trying to explain trans women but again

i am a trans woman and trans man. however, i have to use certain verbiage when talking to certain people. for example, my disability lawyer needed to know my name and all of my health conditions and what i look and sound like. i told him for the sake of simplicity that i'm a trans man because technically if you look at my documents, it makes the most "sense" for someone who's not up to date with queerness. he kept calling me a trans woman. even though i kept explaining to him that i was a man and transitioning into manhood, he would go "ah, so you're a woman."

like i've tried to explain trans manhood to a lot of people before. and so many people literally just don't. get it. they don't understand that someone would want to be a man. they don't understand that there really are "women" out there who put on men's clothing and dress and act masculine to feel like themselves. like it's not even the same level of awareness. people genuinely do not know that trans men exist

and people within the trans community perpetuate this, too, which is evil. i've met so many disenfranchised trans women who will sit there and explain how you CAN'T be a trans man and how trans women are the only "real" trans people. even going as far as to throw transfeminine nonbinary people under the bus as well. i've heard this time and time again from cis and trans people. that trans manhood just isn't a thing, that you can't do that, that you're just transitioning to gain more privilege

a lot of people (terfs, rad fems and their suck ups) love to tell gay trans men that they're confused straight women and are transitioning because they have a "yaoi fetish". i've seen a lot of people go out of their way to be misogynistic and transandrophobic as hell just to bang out the stock standard "people i perceive to be women are too stupid to think for themselves" bullshit they've been saying for decades.

can't be a gay trans man. you're told you're a straight cis woman. can't be a straight trans man. you're told you're a confused butch lesbian. can't be a bi/pan/mspec trans man. you're both of those things, now.

i don't get why people are proud to behave this way. it's not helping anyone. trans men exist. trans manhood is a good thing. the trans community isn't a monolith and never will be

[callmelola111]

K.O. ♡ e.w. oneshot

 ✄ - - - -   inspo track   - - - -   bull believer- wednesday

synopsis: as hours, minutes, and seconds count down till the new year, secrets are revealed and trust is broken. who knew the downfall of your life could be so freeing—and that a total stranger would be the one to catch you.

      | 𓆣 | pairing & wc: ellie williams x reader. wc: 4.8k

      | ❀ | cw: 18+ themes (MDNI), modern au, reader is in a toxic relationship with a man (sexuality isn’t mentioned in huge detail so feel free to hc however you like—they could be bi, pan or just a lesbian with very real comp het), coming out scene (refers to self as “gay”), heavy swearing, descriptions of intense violence + gore, cheating (bf on reader), underage drinking + use of marjuana (18), reader is called a slur (dyke)

a/n: hi hellooo, long time no see! **first, a quick disclaimer: this isn't realistic, there is a complete lack of morals and an unethical/dangerous amount of violence that i wouldn't condone irl. but alas this is fan fiction based off a M rated game whose whole basis is violence, sooo plz keep that in mind when reading.** anywaysss... i’ve been obsessed with this song for months now and it sparked a little oneshot idea so here it is. not exactly my usual stuff, more of a passion project as i process my hatred for men as a lesbian who used to date them. soooo i guess this one goes out to my small town comp het girlies who love ellie williams. thanks for all the support!! ♡~ lola

In the south it never really felt like a true winter. All the holidays that came along with it never felt real either. Christmas was dull and New Years was even worse. After spending the last 18 years of your life in a small hick town, it felt like no use to wish for some “better future”. You were damned from the start. Sure it was a new year, but it was the same old shit and you knew nothing was gonna change until you got out of this hell hole.

Just 6 more months of pretending, you’d tell yourself. 6 more months of bending over backwards to please your overbearing parents. 6 more months of mediocre sex with your shitty boyfriend that you weren’t even sure you liked. 6 more months of artificial conversations with your estranged friend group from middle school who claim to “not get you” anymore. But at this point, as every little thing ate away at you, you weren’t sure if you could keep up your act for much longer. Especially tonight, where you’d be faced with the challenge of appeasing all 3. 

December 31st, 9:00pm:

Adorned in a matching set of mint green pjs you sat patiently on your bed waiting for the go-ahead. Like clockwork, your parents gave a small knock and pushed open your door from its cracked position. It always annoyed you how they knocked, pretending to respect your privacy while simultaneously enforcing a “no closed doors” rule. You thought at 18 they would’ve let it go, but no. 

“Well hun, me and your mother are heading out now. We don’t expect to be back till the morning… Ya know, just to be safe while taking part in all the ‘festivities’.” Your dad chuckled, throwing up some air quotes. Your mom stood deadpan waiting for him to wrap up his little bit before butting in.

“No plans for the evening, right?” She phrased her words like a question but you knew this was just her way of subtleing enforcing the stupid rules you’ve followed your whole life.

“Of course not momma. Probably just gonna watch Gilmore Girls reruns and then go to sleep before any fireworks start up.” You gestured to your pjs but your perfectly made bed said otherwise. See, you knew this little routine like the back of your hand. You knew just what to do and just what to say in order to lure your parents into a false sense of security. While they stood in the frame of your door wishing you a goodnight, your party clothes hung on the other side of it, just out of their view.

December 31st, 9:30pm:

A loud honking blared from just outside your bedroom window. You ushered the sheer curtains open and glared out at the little sedan sputtering in your driveway. Your hands ran down your face followed by a big sigh. It’s not like you didn’t know your boyfriend Jax was coming to pick you up for the new years party that night, you had planned it just days before. But unbeknownst to him, the only reason you reached out was because you didn’t have a ride and tonight was one of the few times your parents wouldn’t be around to police curfew. 

You climbed into the passenger seat already cringing at the unidentifiable smell and litters of trash covering the floor. Forcing a smile to your face you greet the grimey boy sitting at the wheel with a wave.

“Come onnnn, not even a kiss? You must be real happy to see me, huh?” You grit your teeth, squeeze both eye’s shut, and lean in for a peck to appease his complaints. 

“Of course I’m happy to see you babe.” This was a lie. Something you had become quite good at these past few years, even lying to yourself at times. The rest of the car ride was silent, leaving you to ponder this drudgery of a relationship. You weren’t quite sure when things shifted or if there was ever an attraction at all, but after a year together and college approaching you just decided to ride it out until the inevitable. And part of you recognized the same in him, so there was never any guilt about it. 

December 31st, 9:45pm:

Alcohol was the first thing on your mind as soon as the car went into park. The door to the house was propped wide open, inviting in teens of the small town. Some top 10 hit boomed from a speaker nested in the main living area, not really your style—at least not sober. You scavenged the kitchen for a clean solo cup to designate as your own and began the journey to drunkenness. Jax followed in suit with a couple bottles of beer. The harsh burn in your throat lingered but the alcohol's effect was already beginning to take off the edge that was your life.

You attempted to initiate some conversation with the man who had brought you here but he was too busy texting to listen. So consumed with the glow of his screen, you couldn’t help but peek to see what was so interesting. As soon as you got a glimpse you wished you had been less nosey. His attention was not being stolen by a dumb Instagram reels, but actually, a long string of texts with a girl whose name you didn’t recognize. Your stomach pinged at his possible infidelity. Partly because he was your boyfriend but mostly because you’d spent months convincing yourself to like him, to stay with him, to be a good girlfriend—and he could care less. All this work and effort on your part was simply discarded with his unloyal behavior. It was all for nothing. But hey, maybe you were just drawing conclusions. It could just be a friend. Right?

December 31st, 10:15pm:

Jax had finally shifted his attention back to you before his screen lit up again causing you to retaliate in irritation. You swiped up the cracked device before he had the chance and began to scroll.

“Can’t you just silence it? What is soooo fucking importan-.” Your voice caught at the sight of flirty messages littering the screen.

“Are-are you fucking cheating on me?” You instantly questioned.

“Bro no! Give me my fucking phone back!”

“Who the fuck are you texting then? ‘Mary Jane’,” you spouted in a mocking tone, “no way is that someone's real name. You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“It’s a joke between me and my cousin. Now would you chill?”

“Your cousin?? You call your cousin baby?? I mean, I knew this town was full of hicks but I didn’t know y’all were those kinds of hicks.” The alcohol was giving you a little too much courage as your taunting waded into dangerous territory.

“The fuck did you just say? Don’t fucking test me! Can’t even handle a couple shots without getting all crazy on me!!”

“Crazy?? I’m being fucking reasonable. Literally any other person would be bothered by this just as much as me.”

“You know what, just fuck off. We can talk when you stop being such a delusional bitch.” He then disappeared into the living room, landing onto the couch, leaving you alone with your anger. 

December 31st, 10:30pm:

You stood idle, bubbling over with emotion, eye’s filling with tears when a wet sensation hit your upper lip. Its flow grew stronger and began to trickle onto your hands where your gaze was locked. Deep red stained your palms- a random nosebleed. It was like a sign from the universe. A sign that you weren’t crazy. In fact, you might be one of the only sane people in this whole damn town. Stuck in your reverie, blood continued to drip on your hands, your shirt, your lips- everywhere. That is until a kind eyed girl slipped you a dish towel to stop the flow. 

“Uh hey, your nose is bleeding.” You snapped your head up finally acknowledging the moment in full.

“Shit thanks, sorry…” Your face went hot realizing how long you had been just standing still, letting the blood fall where it may. The heat doubled, spreading to your ears when you finally acknowledged the person who had witnessed the whole thing. Ellie Williams. You had never formally met but knew of her existence, as she had kind of a reputation around school. There wasn’t anything inherently bad about her (at least in your opinion), she just didn’t fit the mold of most residents in your town. Therefore, she was a target for people's prejudices, especially being the only out lesbian in your senior class. Despite everyone else’s thoughts, you really admired her. You wished you had that type of courage.

“It’s no problem…” the auburn haired girl glanced down deciding what to say next before lifting her gaze back up to you. “Not to be nosey, I know you don’t really know me, but like… are you okay?”

Head tilted back, you gave a nasally reply, “Oh me? Yeah, yeah uh- I’m okay” 

“No offense but uh, you don’t look that okay.” she gestured to your bloody everything.

“Alright so I’m not okay, you got me.” You looked down to your now crimson stained blouse and scrubbed frantically at the chiffon material trying to reprimand the damage.

“Here, here– You can just take my flannel to cover it up, I promise I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” Before you could say anything else, Ellie was sliding the warm garment over your shoulders and guiding you into the arm holes. It was dark blue, in a faded plaid pattern, and smelled of pine and incense. The girl was now left barren in just her white tank– and all for you.

“Yeah of course.” She then took it a step further, buttoning you up. You watched as her dexterous fingers worked up from the bottom of the shirt to the top, brushing you at each maneuver. A little jab into the plush right under your naval, a swipe past your ribs, and a tap at your collarbones. The quick, unexpected interaction left you completely flustered and you weren’t quite sure why.

“Thank you.” was all you could say. 

“Sooo… do you wanna talk about it?” At this point, Ellie was completely enamored with you from the way you handled yourself with Jax. She had this unusual feeling, a feeling like she needed to protect you. A feeling that you were different from most. Maybe you were even a little like her?

“Honestly, yeah. My friend Samara was supposed to be here tonight but I guess she decided not to show, and I’m starting to wish I didn’t either.”

“Well, if it’s worth anything, I’m glad you’re here. Come on now, follow me.” Ellie led the way to a set of stairs at the edge of the living room. You snaked right past the couch where Jax was drunkenly passed out, mumbling obscenities at his phone. Of course, he paid no mind to you. The idiot was too consumed with himself to even wonder if you were okay.

December 31st, 11:00pm:

You and the sweet girl sat on the rough carpeted step talking about everything under the sun. Ellie was the first person in a really long time who you felt you could be honest with.

“So you think he’s cheating on you?” she questions trying to clarify the few bits of dialogue she heard while watching from afar.

“I know he is. I’m not stupid.”

“I’m sure you’re not.” Ellie put her head down staring at the laces of her dirty converse. You felt so unreadable, making her unsure of how to proceed in the conversation. “So00, how do you feel about it all then?”

“I don’t know, I guess angry.” you answered with a remarkably solemn tone. 

“What about… sad?”

Like second nature, you instantly thought of a less than honest answer until Ellie’s attentive green eyes brought you back to Earth. 

“It feels like… I’m supposed to be sad, but I can’t. In a twisted, confusing way, I’m honestly kinda relieved. So fucking pissed, but relieved.” Ellie’s lids widened, this was an answer she wasn’t expecting at all–but one she was glad to hear.  

“I can’t blame you, he does kinda seem like a piece of shit.”

“And his dick is small too.” you quipped, making Ellie chuckle under her breath.

“Maybe I’m reading into things, but… it seems like you never really liked this guy in the first place.” 

You took a guilty pause before confirming, “Maybe…”

“So why haven’t you broken up with him?” Ellie was genuinely curious. She thought if it was her in the situation she definitely would’ve gotten rid of that Jax guy long, long ago. Who would wanna keep around a douche bag like that?

“Being with Jax felt convenient. He felt like my ticket to ‘normalcy’.” You put your head down in slight shame but continued the explanation. “I got so caught up in my image that I neglected how I actually felt. I was doing everything to please everyone but me.”  Ellie scooted in one inch to the left, now connecting your thighs and bringing in a sense of comfort.

“Trust me, I understand. This town is fucking ruthless.”

“God yeah, the things I’ve heard people say about you are seriously fucked up. I don’t know how you do it.” A beat of silence lingered as Ellie articulated her thoughts.

“I think… community. I mean, obviously most of the people at our school look down on me, but all it takes is one singular person to be right there with you and then things don’t feel so bad. I guess for me, I can’t imagine being anything but myself. Like completely myself.” The girl looked up from the hangnail she was picking at as she spoke and was met with your tear filled eyes. “Fuck, did I say something?”

Your hand shot up to quickly wipe away the floodgates threatening to fall, “No, no. It’s just that you’re right,” you stuttered, choking down another cry, “an-and, I wish I would've realized it sooner because these past 4 years have been like hell. I don’t wanna be the cookie cutter straight girl anymore. I just wanna be me.”

Ellie then placed a gentle hand to your knee and brought her eyes to meet your own, “And what might that be?”

“Gay. Like really fucking gay.” you said through teary-eyed laughs as Ellie joined in with her own hearty chuckle.

“Welcome to the club.” she said, sticking out a strong hand for you to shake. You grasped it tightly as her warm palm guided you up and down, her touch lingering just a little longer than the gesture itself. As you collected yourself you whipped out a small pocket mirror to touch up the smudged mascara littering your undereyes. Ellie admired in silence. She was in pure awe of your resilience, and when you were finished with your clean up, you turned back to realize what had just gone down.

“Fuck, I’m sorry for dumping all that on you considering we just met. It’s weird how things I’ve never even said out loud before can come out so easily around a stranger.”

Ellie nudges you with her shoulder, “I guess I just have that effect, huh?”

“I guess you do.” you sighed, nudging her back.

December 31st, 11:15pm:

The two of you continued your banter until a cold breeze from the back door gave Ellie a brilliant idea.

“Dare I say… you look like you need a blunt?” she said with a mischievous smirk.

“No, please. It's exactly what I need.”

Ellie then reached into the pocket of her baggy jeans, “I guess it’s your lucky day then.” she said, revealing the most perfectly wrapped blunt you’d ever seen.

“You’re actually god sent Ellie. How are we just now meeting?” The auburn-haired girl gave a small laugh before grabbing your hand and leading you to the backyard. As she pushed the white panel door open, every single ounce of weight that had been lifted off from that one singular conversation, all came crashing back down. Ellie and you weren’t the only ones who adventured outside into the brisk night air. Right on the porch stood Jax, accompanied by your “friend” Samara, who up until this point you didn’t even think was coming. The piece of shit was practically sucking her face off before the creaking sound of the back door sent them 5 feet apart.

“I knew it! I fucking knew it!” you yelled, eyes growing dark with rage. Ellie just stood and watched from the corner.

“Babe, please! I swear it’s not what you think!” Jax stumbled forward, attempting to grasp at your figure.

“Don’t you dare try and touch me! You don’t even deserve to look at me. It’s over Jax. I’m done being suffocated by your never ending bullshit!” Knuckles clenched, you continued your lashings, this time at Samara. “I-I thought we were friends. What happened to that?”

“You don’t even like him. You should be thanking me.” she spat. 

“You really don’t get it, huh? This has nothing to do with me liking Jax or not, you completely betrayed our friendship the second you started fucking him behind my back. Friends don’t fuck each other boyfriends Samara!” Before she could even respond Jax was dragging her away, flipping you off on the way inside.

“Ellie-” you squeaked, trembling in shock. 

“Come here, it’s okay love.” she whispered, parting her arms to make a safe space just for you. You collapsed into the warm cavity and relinquished the buckets of tears you had been saving for the moment someone actually gave a fuck. And Ellie did. She never let go of you even for a second as you crumbled under her.

“Jeez I’m sorry.” you said after minutes of pure silence, lifting your head to meet Ellie’s green eyes. 

“For what?”

“For being a drunk mess, crying to you about a man, and also, I think I got a little snot on your shirt.” you tried to laugh it off but you really just wanted to disappear.

Taking your face in her palms Ellie reassured you, “hey, hey no need to be sorry pretty girl. You’ve been through a lot tonight. Besides, I think I look kinda good with this huge ass wet spot in the middle of my tank top. What do you think?” You stepped back and took a look at the damage, and honestly, she was kinda right. With the white cotton material you could see right through to her toned stomach, barely missing the bottom of her breasts. 

“Fine, yes. I’m sure there’s plenty of girls who’d kill to see you in a wet shirt Ellie.”

“Lucky you then.” she said, playfully nudging your shoulder.

You couldn’t help it as the corners of your mouth turned upwards, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“There’s that smile. Soooo… blunt now?”

“Yes. Blunt.”

December 31st, 11:30pm:

And just like that, you were halfway through the chestnut wand of herbs and deep in conversation.  

“So you really haven't seen But I’m a Cheerleader?” Ellie asked, blowing out a puff of smoke with the question and passing it on.

You took the blunt from between her fingers and let it rest between your own, “No. Should I have?” 

“Definitely dude, it’s like queer classic.”

“Oh yeah?” You cocked your head at the freckled faced girl. 

“Yeah. And now that I’m thinking about it, you’re honestly just like the main character.”

“How so?” you asked, taking another long draw. 

“She’s in denial about being gay for like the first 30 minutes of the movie.”

A string of coughs unleashed from your chest as you let out a hefty laugh mid-inhale, “Bitch-”

“What? I’m being so deadass!”

“Fine, what character are you then?” you pry, passing the lit blunt back over to Ellie.

Taking a hit she replies, “I guess I’d be graham.”

“And what does she do?”

“I’m kinda like your awakening in a sense. Graham is all gay and cool, and of course Megan—that's you—totally falls for her.” 

You retrieve the lit cannabis and roll your eyes, “I haven’t fallen for you yet Williams.”

“Yet.” she emphasizes, placing a soft finger to the tip of your nose tauntingly.

“Ha. Ha.” you monotonously mock, “Now here, I think it’s done.” You hand Ellie the roach and she promptly stubs it out into the concrete slab deck.

“Come on, let’s go inside. I’m fucking cold.” she pleas.

“Dude I’m scared. Like I am way too fucked up for this.”

“No, no– I promise you’re fine. I’ll protect you.” 

“Fineee.” you drag out.

December 31st, 11:50pm:

Things were seemingly fine as you and Ellie entered the muggy living area of the packed house once more. Your hesitancy was quite clear though and Ellie could sense you needed just a little reassurance. Your right hand, currently picking away at the hangnail on the thumb of your left, was quickly captured by Ellies own rough hand which led you back to your comfortable spot on the ascending stair set.

As you both took a seat your grip remained tight on the girl, afraid that if you let go you might jump up from your spot right then and there just to give Jax one more lesson. Just the sight of him through the slats of the stairs’ wooden railing—legs casually spread wide and eyes focused in on a casual game of Mortal Kombat—drove you fucking crazy. 

“Dude if you keep staring like that you might actually burn a hole through his dumb ass T-shirt.” Ellie said, nudging your tensed shoulder.

“Good it’s ugly anyways.”

“Fair point.”

“I just have this burning need to get back at him. I wanna beat his ass just like in that game he can’t take his eyes off.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “Very funny, but you wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Oh yeah?” you questioned before laying a soft punch to the girl's forearm. A string of dramatic “Ows” reverberated from her lips. “See, I’m a badass right?”

“Fine you’re a total badass” she agreed begrudgingly, rubbing the soft tissue of her arm where you had left your mark. 

“What? It hurt that bad? You need me to kiss it better?” you taunted. 

“Maybe I do.” she said, longing eyes staring into your own. 

You gulped down any hesitation and felt it drop straight to your nervous stomach, “Where does it hurt?”

Ellie pointed to her arm slowly, “here.”

You placed a soft peck.

Hot breath raising goosebumps to the surface of her skin, “and here”, she gestured to her outstretched neck

Another supple kiss.

“And um-” she continued, but was quickly cut off and brought back to reality with the bellowing sound of a countdown. Too caught up in the moment, you both had almost forgotten about the holiday currently taking place.

FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO…

“Can I kiss you?” she blurted frantically, and with no words you dove into her plump, chapped lips. Just like a puzzle piece your bottom lip slotted perfectly between her own. It was a gentle and delicate kiss at first, drinking in the euphoric moment. Quickly though, soft maneuvers of the mouth got quicker and harder. Spit was exchanged with passion and need, as your hands were becoming grabby at the girl's toned figure. The heat growing between your legs was an easy distraction from the fact that you were at a large party, in a hick town, with your ex-boyfriend now hovering over your more than friendly exchange.

January 1st, 12:01am:

“The fuck? You’re a dyke now?” he yells, practically loud enough for the whole party to hear. You and Ellie frantically pull apart, bumping heads in the process.

The calloused hands that were once caressing the small of your back are now balled into tight fists as Ellie rises from her seated position.

“The fuck did you just say?” she questions, tilting her head to the right.

You now stand up with her, worried where this might go, “Jax you need to walk away.”

“Oh shut up slut. You’re so fucking desperate you’d do it with anyone!” 

That one hurt. That was the tipping point. Tears welled in your eyes. 

“I’M NOT A FUCKING SLUT! I’M GAY AND NEVER LIKED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

“You need to leave now before I do something I’ll regret, you dirty bitch.” he threatens. And that's it, Ellie takes a swing aiming straight for his nose. Her fist retracts and reveals his bloody and now crooked cartilage. Through clenched teeth Jax grips onto Ellies white tank, throwing her into the open space of the living room. Just like a car crash, it’s one of those things where a scene can be so disturbing but you just can’t look away. And everyone else in the room was feeling it too—backed into corners, hands over mouths, some men even obnoxiously chanting “fight, fight.” But this isn’t what you wanted. Not at all.

“STOP! YOU NEED TO FUCKING STOP IT!” you screamed desperately. You didn’t even want to imagine what Jax would do to the freckled girl who changed your life in mere hours. But you didn’t have to, because here they were, brawling it out for the whole school. Jax swung at Ellie’s head to which she ducked before jabbing him in the stomach, stealing whatever air was swimming in his lungs. He stumbled backwards 3 steps, coughing through the hit, but this just made him angrier.

He charged back at the flustered girl with more force and gained a grip on a wad of choppy auburn hair. With a forceful yank she came tumbling to the ground with him on top. Ellie wriggled, pushed, and kicked but the sheer weight of the furious man was enough to keep her pinned. Jax began punching left and right, capturing her face with each blow. Thick crimson decorated his knuckles and the entirety of the girl's face. You could barely make out her litter of freckles and the half-lidded slits of emerald green—it was blood, all blood.

But as Jax kept on going, and the room grew quieter, this fight turned into something much more serious. It was inching on life or death and you had to do something. You surveyed the room, eyes dancing from counter to counter until a large glass beer bottle nagged at the tips of your fingers. Grabbing it tightly in your fist, you did what you had to to end this. Glass and gasps scattered through the room. The sharp brown shards littered the floor and evoked a gushing red stream from the back of Jax’s head. He instantly rolled to the side leaving Ellie an opening to escape. You weren’t done yet though, he hadn’t gotten what he deserved yet. Falling to the floor right at his body, hot tears streamed down your face.

Through curses and screams you thrashed at the man's barely conscious frame, “FUCK YOU JAX! FUCK YOU!” This was for every time he made you feel stupid, for making you feel like the ugliest girl in the room, for all the times he kissed you while you just prayed for it to be over, for making your life a living hell. With each scratch, punch, and kick all the pent up anger and resentment drained from your soul. Ellie let you have at him for a bit but as the crowd started to thin she knew the cops would be here any second now.

“Come on! We gotta go hun!” she nagged. 

“NO I CAN’T! NOT YET” you yelled, collapsing down into tears. Ellie promptly scooped you up by your armpits and dragged you from Jax’s limp body.

“I know baby, you're angry, it’s hard. But the cops are coming and we need to leave now.” she said, picking you up completely and carrying you through the frame of the propped open front door. You nestled your head into her bloody top as your chest still rapidly rose up and down, choking on the last few streams of tears and snot. “I’m gonna get you home love, don’t you worry.”

January 1st, 12:15am:

Finally through the small window of Ellie’s red truck you spot your familiar 2 story home. She grips the steering wheel, whipping to the right into the empty driveway. Of course she helps you inside and up to your quaint little bedroom. It felt weird almost—so quiet and still after such a chaotic night—and void of any life but you and the freckled faced girl. It was a cold feeling knowing you’d be all alone in just a few minutes, and tonight, you weren’t sure if that was a feeling you wanted to know.

“Els?”

“Yeah?” she answered softly. 

“Can you stay?”

With a kiss to the head she agreed, “Of course I’ll stay.” The rest of the night was spent cuddled up under your warm comforter, and despite all the events from just hours before, you felt safe. And for once, in fucking years, you were content.

✄ - - - -   masterlist   - - - -   ♡

taglist...

@endureher @gold-dustwomxn @alexpritch @4rt3m1ss @robinismywifee @sophlovesbooks @97cityy

(taglist is for all callmelola111 works, if you'd like to be removed just kindly lmk)

[cator99]

please finish your wedding story, i so badly want to hear the rest of it. i await eagerly.

>everyone lived happily ever after

>a few weeks pass

>I write the brides a lengthy and detailed letter of recommendation to their immigration lawyer

>they're overjoyed and think its a beautiful letter, and I'm glad to help because I hope they last forever and get everything they want in life, if I may drop the act and be sincere for a moment

>a few days pass. the bride I've known for over 15 years messages me

>however... she doesn't care. she's on her honeymoon. and I'm just some chick she was friends with as a kid. what does upset her is how she found out.

>at first I assume that the woman who reached out to her (who I knew back in jr high, and is a few years older than me) was just trying to upset her

>bride tells me about how this woman was her best friend and then suddenly blocked her out of nowhere, which was (and is) still very painful for her

>the woman, who we will refer to as "A" whips up a story about being concerned for the bride's safety and privacy or something

>bride is confused. there's no identifying information. the post is a nothingburger to her. what's important here is that she's upset that this woman messaged her after 4 years, not to make things right..... but to talk about "zander"

>right, this is about me, because this is "A" we're talking about here...... hell hath no fury like a closet case scorned

how did she find my blog?

I assume it went like this:

>"A" goes to peek at her ex-bestie's wedding photos

>"Zander" Spotted

>runs to LC

>"hey does anyone remember Zander who I used to post about on here all the time 7 years ago? I may have found an update!"

>"that's terf cator99 who was posted about on the Women Youre Ashamed To Want To Fuck thread you fucking idiot that looks nothing like her"

>no here's proof!

>autism ensues

>several replies get deleted, other responses indicate they're "A" sperging and linking my blog

>people argue if I deserve to be there anymore

>"she's a tif"

>"no"

> yes"

>"no"

>"I used to know her" ["A" posting]

>"tell us more!"

>"she used to have this one pair of glasses and then she had this other pair of glasses that looked really good on her..."

meanwhile:

>assume she's probably back on her LC shit

>find and link bride to the LC thread and explain to her that "A" has just been trolling for fun and to pay it no mind, you're better off without her in your life

>"hey bride-chan, not to be weird but I'm just trying to understand this shit, do you think A ever had a thing for me... I always kind of assumed she was bi or gay when we were younger and thought it was cool that she was androgynous and went to school dressed as Kaito from vocaloid all the time so I wanted to be her friend but she was pretty rude to people and I backed off"

>"well i dont know but she's married to a man now..."

>yet here she is trying to get under the skin of two women who are with other women

to be fair I earned the lolcow title fair and square years ago all on my own, and really do feel I owe "A" a favor for introducing me to the site. it was very formative for me to find out places like that existed right at the moment I was starting to have conflicting thoughts about the trans shit so I could gain some self-awareness (and general awareness overall) (shout out to "A"s friend who cowtipped to me.....)

meanwhile, on LC:

>"well done ladies, we've figured it all out. Butch Lesbian cator99 is currently partying with gay men, and It is common knowledge that "gay men" are all secretly bisexuals who are looking to hook up with women who say things like "I'm a lesbian" and "I am not attracted to males". That is their mating call, in fact. These words activate the Hetero gland in the Amygdala like a sleeper agent who has been biologically programmed– as we all are– to stop the kiki-ing and split off into heterosexual pairings at the end of a poppers-fuelled night assless-twerking to Britney."

>"good work. But I'll one-up you: look at this screenshot."

[photo from an instagram account, featuring a photo of 17 year old Zander's legs in the bath. "I Am Totally Into Epic Awesome Penis Now!!!!!!" (She had never seen a penis)]

>"yes, this is definitely a normal thing for a straight woman to say. I always knew she was a faker."

>"yes. as im sure you're all aware, there are many social and career benefits from pretending to be a lesbian."

>"doesn't that idiot know that she can't just lie and change her orientation? I can't believe she's been straight this whole time."

>"what does she have to gain from lying?"

>"She's so adamant about being a lesbian, which is a dead giveaway for a cover-up operation. The more they resist, the more evident it is that they are lying in order to gain access to that highly lauded Online Lesbian Following, which is something every straight woman wants deep down."

meanwhile:

>call gf

>"bad news. I just found out I'm actually straight."

[simbistardis]

'I'm not as masculine as your average tomboy lesbian I suppose.'

'Some people call me a stem. I'd class myself as a stem because I do wear makeup. I've been out for nine years now, coming up ten years. I think it affected my mum a lot yeah because I'm her only daughter. So I feel like she believes that, like maybe she won't get no grandkids.'

'Obviously growing up like when I hit, like 21 kind of thing, you've gone through puberty now, do you know what I mean? So you kind of have to like, I don't know, that when was when I kind of loosened up a little bit. When I'm with my friends this is how they see me. This is how I feel comfortable around them. But when it come to like, family functions, erm, I do go feminine as a respect thing as well. Obviously my nan's not keen on my choice. But yeah so I do go fem to family functions. When it comes to going to certain places and being fem and getting attention from men it gets on my nerves a lot. It makes me feel sick and gets me very angry. It's just like a thrill for them cus you're gay. It's just wrong it's disgusting.'

'I used to hate the fact that I have breast. And now I wish I was bigger, I'm not going to lie. Yeah, I've embraced it, I've embraced it. I wish I had a little bit more body, but yeah in time.'

'I'm just about to get a shape-up cus I'm deejaying tonight. Going into a male barbers' it doesn't faze me at all. My first barber that I used to go to, he knew me anyway. He refused to cut my hair but, yeah I was kind of like part of the family and we had quite a lot to of banter about my sexuality and if I'm ever going to go to men. But yeah it's all calm for me.'

'I think as a DJ you get attention anyway. I've always been this way but I've noticed that I've got quite a lot more attention. I notice the changes in people because.. it wasn't because I was stem or anything, just the fact I was a DJ that status I had.'

Kaspa, The Black Lesbian Handbook: The Stem (2015) (also available on YouTube but it's age-restricted)