#like “no. no. i straight up killed a guy.”

[exocaliii]

❦︎ You've Been Walking, You've Been Hiding

(pt. 1) (pt. 2)

| Kang No-eul / Guard 011 x fem!reader |

side! | Se-mi / Played 380 x fem!reader |

Summary: For six years, you've watched your best friend and only companion mourn a child she barely got to know. Now, you're given a chance that might finally rid her of this lifelong guilt.

Word Count: 5.4k

Warnings: mentions of self harm, death, violence, angst, hurt/comfort, occasional use of Y/N even though I try my best to avoid it lol, some jealousy and yearning, very plot heavy guys no porn this time...

A/N: first fic yay!! it's incredibly plot heavy (like seriously look at the word count man I haven't even reached the Mingle game yet😭😭) and tbh i've already written most of pt 2 (which dives far more into the romance part), but please please lmk what you think so far!! :D seriously any comments or messages or whatever are appreciated!! this is the "I wrote this cuz no one else did" fic

—

It’s been nine years since you've met her, and she’s still the most beautiful woman you know.

Her head is tilted back, shallow breaths filling the silence. You don’t make a move until you see tears flow down her cheeks, and by the time she raises an arm to cover her face, you’re already by her side. There are no words or even glances shared as you use the sleeve of your jacket to wipe the tears off her cheek. Though, for a split second as your hand lowers, you swear you see her head tilt in your direction, and maybe you’re hallucinating it (god knows what could happen after two bottles of whatever hard liquor that was) but your eyes meet for a brief second.

It’s a bit too much for you, and you need this night to end. Besides, you had someone to meet. She knows that.

“It’s late, Eul.”

It’s an unspoken suggestion for her to drive you home, but she doesn’t move - just looks over at you with a heated gaze and that’s all it takes. Whatever emotion she was trying to express is unknown to you, but it’s familiar in a way that deeply disturbs you. You’re the last person she should be looking at like that.

“...Alright then,” you whisper, placing your head on her shoulder. She doesn’t react, but she doesn’t move to push you off either. You should leave. You both know this.

God, you’re pathetic.

—

250 million won.

Fucking scammers. Who could even pay that much?

Your meeting with the head of some shady smuggling group based in North Korea went… alright. They were willing to help, but less optimistic than the last. What really went wrong was the price they were charging to help search for No-eul’s baby. Even if you worked your current job for 16 hours a day for an entire year straight, you wouldn’t have enough.

The thought of seeing her hope dwindling once again made you want to pull your hair out.

Perhaps it was this heartache that made you call the number on that card.

—

She’s known about the games for six years.

She signed up to kill people every summer for five years.

Today is the first day she’s genuinely, completely thrown off guard.

When she twists the scope of her rifle, she almost accidentally fires a bullet straight into your face with a twitch of her hand. Even after leaning back and rubbing her face in exasperation at her own mind supposedly playing tricks on her, she leans back into the familiar pad of the rifle to see your face once again. You look the same as the last time she saw you, which was barely two days ago. The strain in your face, the fear that twists your expression into one she recognizes from seven years ago - God, what the fuck did you get yourself into?

She lets out a shaky breath and readjusts her grip, her nerves making her hands quiver just enough that she has to lean back again to roll her head to relieve some of the newfound tension in her neck. When she finally lays her cheek back against the rifle, she’s quick to refocus her attention to another player, one that 012 (or was it 010?) failed to kill. It’s a disgusting ordeal, but she deals with it the only way she knows how to, even as her mind wanders.

Survive this game, Y/N. Do not leave me behind.

—

All you can do is clutch the number on your chest - 037 - after what had just happened. After you watched a woman’s blood splatter onto a young man right next to you. After you watched him flinch and die moments later, right at your feet. It feels like a fever dream when money begins to drop into the piggy bank above the room, and you’re told each 100 million won added was somebody’s life.

That woman and the boy were, combined, only 200 million won to the pile. You want to vomit.

You drown out so much of it, but when you hear talk of money being passed out to the “winners” of the game you all just played, you’re disturbed to find it’s only reached about 75 million. You’re even more disturbed by your immediate desire for more, more money to fill the pig’s empty stomach (and more lives lost, apparently).

When it comes time to vote, you can’t bring yourself to care much about the man who claims he had played these games before. His pleas mean nothing to you, not when you have 250 million won to conjure up in the next month to continue the search for No-eul’s sweet daughter. You hesitate for only a split second before you hit the O, and you force yourself to drown out the fearful cries to your left as well as the howls from the hungry wolves to your right.

A blue patch is placed over your chest, but you do not cheer with the rest of your side.

—

When night comes, sleep refuses to come to you. It feels like a punishment now, especially as you look at the young girl just diagonal to you. 095. She shakes like a baby in her bed, and the red X on her sweater shows you why.

Have you damned this poor girl to death? Maybe even the kind old lady lying across from her?

The sick feeling in your gut prompts you to get up and head over to the side door. Three knocks prompts nothing but silence, but you refuse to give up so easily. With another set of knocks on the door, this time hard enough to make sure the guard on the other side (at least you hoped there was even anyone on the other side) heard you, you spoke up.

“I’m sorry, I don’t feel well, can I please-”

Without you saying another word, the door practically swings open.

Standing across from you is a pink guard with a triangle mask. The rifle at their side draws your attention immediately, and some paranoid part of your mind wonders if they only opened the door so they could shoot you for interrupting their quiet time. However, the guard surprisingly only takes a small step to the side after a strangely tense silence.

“...Thank you…”

You scuttle past them and immediately head to the bathroom. The moment you enter, you rush to the sink, turn on the faucet, and let a stream of icy cold water fall from your cupped hands onto your face. For a second, this helps your heart rate slow.

What brings it back up is the sound of the door opening, and what spikes it is the fact that it’s not a fellow player that walks into the silent bathroom, but the guard. Based on their height alone, you can tell it’s the same one. This is even more frightening somehow.

Did you do something wrong? Should you have just stayed in bed? Why did you pick-

“Why are you here?!” The guard’s raspy voice interrupts your thoughts. Her question (you now realize it’s a woman) was just barely quiet enough to not be considered a yell, but the frantic nature of it still makes you blank out. You’re so afraid that you end up completely missing the familiarity your body feels at the sound of her voice.

“I-I’m sorry ma’am, I just need to wash my face, I’ll-”

You’re interrupted once again by the guard’s movements, but this time, she’s practically ripping down the red hood of her jacket to pull off her mask. She doesn’t even need to take off her face covering by that point, because a single short glance at her eyes, the ones you knew so well, were enough.

“No-eul…,” you choke out, staring as she pulls the face covering down completely to reveal the face you’ve known for nine years. Her hair is sweaty and sticks to her face in a way that you recognize from her summer shifts at the fair.

Seeing her here is only comforting for a short moment though, because the pink of her uniform against the green of yours is still visible in your peripheral as you take in her confused, almost panicked expression. Her eyes scan your face for an answer, not nearly as patient as she typically is, and when you refuse to even make a sound, she takes a small step closer.

“Answer me. You shouldn’t- God.” She runs her gloved fingers through her hair in poorly hidden frustration as she sighs and turns away for a split second. “You shouldn’t be here. Not in a place like this.”

You don’t respond, but she can very much see the frown on your face after that last statement.

“Then what the hell are you doing here?” It doesn’t take much for you to regain your snarkiness, but it clearly throws her off guard.

“It’s just a temporary job, and you know why I need it, so answer me.”

Yes, you know full well why she needs it.

“...I need it too, Eul.” It’s not enough for her. You sigh before accepting your fate. “She needs it.”

For a second, there’s silence. She’s confused, and you watch as the gears turn in her head and she slowly comes to understand the intentions behind your words - understands the blue O plastered on your sweater. Somewhere in the blank expression she’s trying so hard to keep up, you can spot the shame, the guilt, and the sadness washing over her at the realization.

“Don’t look at me like you pity me. This was my choice to make.” I don’t regret it.

When she fails to even acknowledge what you just said, you simply sigh and move over to the wall, sitting down with your legs pulled close to your body. As if it were muscle memory, she joins you a moment later.

For what feels like forever, you two sit in silence and stare at each other. She can’t stop glancing down at the patch on your chest, and you can’t stop glancing at the mask she placed at her side. When she notices this, her expression gets even more shameful, and she lowers her head.

“Eul…” She doesn’t answer you, but you hear the soft exhale she releases when she hears your voice. “Eul, I don’t blame you.”

You reach over in a bold move and take her gloved hands. They’re mostly steady, but you know her too well by now. Even the slightest tremor is enough for you to practically feel the shame washing over her in waves. When you attempt to hold eye contact with her again, she breaks it uncharacteristically fast.

“You should’ve never come here.”

You sigh heavily and as she begins to pull her hands back, you tighten your grip on them and lean forward.

“I want to find her, No-eul. Please let me try.”

She’s damned you, just as she damned her daughter. She’s sure of it.

—

Whilst others around you are quickly gathering into groups, you find yourself lost in the crowd. No one pays you any mind as they shove past you to team up with people they had been interacting with, but what could you do when you’ve really just been ignoring most of the people here?

It’s humiliating when you find yourself inching towards a group of men that side-eye you and turn away before you can even ask to join their group. To be fair, if you were them, you probably wouldn’t want the meek girl in the corner either. It’s life or death, and you can’t blame them for picking the former. All you can do is sigh and turn away, but before you can go far, a hand gently grabs your upper arm and spins you around.

“Hey, you have a team yet?”

380.

She’s a girl you made eye contact with only once, right before your late night trip to the bathroom. From her appearance, you would’ve expected her voice to be a lot more gruff, but it’s soft and gentle and draws you in immediately. In a place like this, it's normal that you find yourself easily drawn to any sense of safety you can find (especially when your usual safe haven is hidden behind a mask that dozens of others are wearing - others that are probably far more willing to shoot you in the head for trying to stick to them).

“No.” An awkward silence fills the space between you two before you remember why she’s even asking such a question in the first place. “Do you want to…”

You don’t get to finish that question - thank god - before she chuckles and shakes her head slightly, answering you by taking you by the hand and dragging you over to her group.

Standing with her back against the wall, an armed guard keeps her eyes trained on your every movement. When 380 takes you by the hand, her grip on her rifle tightens just barely.

—

In a twisted way, you almost found the last game to be fun. The cheers of the spectators, 380’s tight grip on your arm and quiet encouragement after you failed the first round of gonggi, it’s all kindness and attention you never typically receive. You can almost bring yourself to completely ignore the fact that you’re pretty sure you just got yourself thrown in with a group of two drug addicts (you don’t know how they managed to sneak substances into this seemingly sterile environment, but it’s very obvious they succeeded in some capacity).

What wasn’t fun, however, was watching the previous losers get gunned down by people in the same outfit as the woman you were empathizing with just last night. You’re actually 99% sure she was one of them, which makes it that much worse. You pity those who lost, and for a second, as you watch a young boy fall to the ground with blood seeping out from a single hole above his heart, you feel an indescribable hatred towards those putting these people down like dogs.

But then No-eul’s face flashes in your mind and you feel the ghost of her hands on yours, and it all fades away.

“What’s your name?” Your train of thought is interrupted by a soft and familiar voice. You turn to face 380 and are slightly thrown off at the sight of 230, 124, and 125 also waiting expectedly. Albeit with some hesitance, you give them your full name, and 380 nods in acknowledgment.

“I’m Se-mi.” Her choice to leave out her surname isn’t lost on you, but you ignore it for now. After all, you don’t really know this woman, and she doesn’t know you.

“Two beautiful names for two pretty girls.” Maybe you should’ve left out your surname as well. “I’m the legend: Thanos! I’ll revive half the world with my lyrics, so watch out.”

After Thano’s little declaration, you couldn’t really pay attention to the other two (Min-su and Nam-gyu, if your memory serves you well). The short shy boy that had been trailing Se-mi when she asked you to join the team was just as quiet as he was before, but now that you’re really paying attention, you realize that he bears a striking resemblance to someone you knew.

Laughter rings out as you chase him through the yard. Short legs, shorter than yours, don’t take him too far before your open palm collides with his small back, causing him to practically faceplant into the dirt. His muffled cries come out soon after, and even with your sorry attempts to soothe him, your aunt still comes running out, scolding you for playing so roughly with her young son.

It’s the last time you’ll see them, even if you didn’t realize it then.

You break your gaze away as you shift uncomfortably at the sudden memory - 125 is not your cousin, he’s a stranger.

You glance around the room for a bit before deciding you’ve sufficiently distracted yourself. When you draw your focus back towards Se-mi, you see her staring off into the distance as well, having made the wonderful decision to not pay attention to the drug-riddled rambling of the rapper who had become the de-facto leader of the group. As if she can sense your gaze, she breaks her staring contest with the wall across the room to turn her head in your direction.

As your eyes meet again, you don’t look away, and you’re pretty sure she smiles a bit at this.

Smug.

—

When it’s time to vote yet again, you’re just as set on your choice as you were before. The guilt of voting for the games to continue even after seeing 095 cry and beg for her life weighs heavy on your heart, but the money just isn’t quite enough for you to quit yet.

When you drag yourself back over to the side cheering and throwing their fists in the air for the death games to continue, you have to stop for a second and close your eyes.

No-eul’s face is so clear in your mind, and so is every memory you have of her crying over her lost daughter.

It’s easier to stand with these people when you remember what you’re fighting for.

—

Even with the confidence you felt in your choice, your guilt isn’t dispelled and you can barely bring yourself to eat the dinner provided to you. You push around the egg with your spoon, head cradled in your hand as you stare down at the ground; it’s a pitiful scene, and you’re probably scaring off any potential future teammates, but in the moment, you truly couldn’t care less.

“Does it taste that bad?” The voice is teasing, and you immediately know who it is before she even sits down beside you.

“I’m not hungry right now, that’s all.”

“Bullshit,” she says with a laugh, and you finally look up from the speck on the floor just to shoot her a dirty look. She responds with a mischievous one in kind. “You feel bad or something? Starving yourself isn’t gonna change the vote on your chest.”

With a heavy sigh, you shove a spoonful of rice in your mouth just to shut her up, but all you do is earn another laugh from her. It’s a nice sound to hear, but you'd jam your spoon into your neck before admitting something like that to her.

“Where are the other three?”

She raises a brow and slightly leans back, revealing Min-su almost tucked into her side like a shaking child. If you all didn’t share your ages earlier, you would've thought he was only in his late teens with the way he was acting. “Thanos and Nam-gyu are digging into their candy stash again, if you know what I mean.”

A loud unprompted Woo! C’mon Man! from across the room confirms her answer, and you scoff.

“Addicts.” Another laugh from her, and finally, you’ve decided that you’ve had enough with trying to eat when your body damn near wants to reject it. “So, why are you here then?”

“Same as everybody else,” she looks over at you with an expression that says ‘obviously.’ “I’ve got some debt I’m trying to get rid of.”

You’re about to clarify that you actually meant to ask her why she was here, next to you and not why she was participating in a bunch of death games, but you push that thought aside for now. Curiosity takes over as your eyes try to uncover something, anything in her expression.

Piercings, careless attitude, but her eyes are soft when she looks at you and Min-su. She seems smart enough. Beautiful as well. How the hell did someone like her get into enough debt to want to participate in something like this?

“Aren’t you afraid of dying though?” It’s a weirdly deep question that you regret asking as soon as it leaves your mouth, but she only does her signature smirk before answering you.

“There are plenty of things out there that can kill me too. This place isn’t so different.” Except for the fact that you’re now living with the possibility of being shot for failing a kids’ game, but alright, you can accept that answer. When faced with your silence after her answer, Se-mi lifts a hand to gently grab the blue patch on your chest, examining it with apparent interest.

“How about you? Why did you choose to die?”

It’s an incredibly morbid way to put it even though from her tone, you can tell she’s obviously joking. Either way, it makes you grimace and destroys the confident demeanor you tried to hold up to match with hers. What could you say to a question like that? That you signed up to get money for someone else? That you could maybe even have lived a debt-free, semi-peaceful life without this other person, but you would rather die without her?

“It’s… yeah, it’s debt money for me too.” The lie leaves your mouth easily, but Se-mi doesn’t look convinced at all. Her doubtful gaze burns holes into the side of your face, and you’re beginning to desperately search for something to take her attention off you. Your reprieve comes in the form of the slight movement you spot behind her.

You don’t actually know this woman, and for now, you don’t intend to.

“Min-su, how about you?” Her intense gaze finally breaks, and she shifts to look at Min-su as well.

“Huh?”

“Why are you here?” You force your voice to be softer this time, less urgent to match with his jumpy nature. He’s calmer now, but there’s still shame evident in his expression even though he hasn’t even told you two anything yet.

“I… I just had some student loans, that’s all.” Se-mi makes the same face she made at you towards him and he winces, obviously unwilling to spill his secrets. You almost feel bad for the guy, especially with the way Se-mi is beginning to pester him a bit now. Seems like two unnecessarily vague answers were pushing her buttons a bit, and the idea that you’ve managed to irk this carefree woman is kind of satisfying.

After a while of listening to their back and forth (which mainly consisted of Min-su asking Se-mi how she’s so calm in ten different ways), out of pure boredom, you decide to test the waters one last time.

“It’s not really debt money for me.”

This catches their attention straight away, and Se-mi looks far more interested in this answer than your previous one. You drop your eyes back to the ground in preparation for your admission.

“Then what’s it for?”

“I’m planning on giving all the money I win to someone else. They’ll use it for their own... personal reasons.” Not exactly the full truth, but it’s part of it and you think she deserves at least that after recruiting you to her team.

For a second, you expect laughter to break out right in your face. You prepare to answer questions about why you would risk your life for someone else’s goal, but it never comes. Instead, when you look back up, all you see are two pairs of understanding eyes, not a hint of mockery in their gaze.

If anything, Se-mi almost looks proud of your answer.

“Actually… I joined the game to try and help my mom out a bit, that’s all. I wasn’t able to get a good job after school, so I want to make up for it.” Min-su’s words sound like those of a young boy still trying to understand the world around him. “I’m all she’s got left now.”

What was someone like him doing in an evil place like this?

“Man, you two are making me feel kinda bad,” Se-mi says, chuckling to herself before leaning back a bit to look at you square in the face.

She doesn’t doubt Min-su’s story, and even though she doubted yours for a split second, she sees nothing but genuine honesty and a hint of embarrassment in your eyes. This revelation fills her with relief, and for the first time, she spares you both a genuine smile.

“I figured you two were nice, generous people when we teamed up.” The newfound but genuine friendliness she exudes surprises you, but it’s a welcome change. “I’m glad I might just be right, and I’m hanging out with some good people for once.”

“Well, I hope I could say the same about you.”

She throws her head back in laughter at this, and you begin to think that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to know these people after all.

—

“Can I use the bathroom please?”

This time, you don’t bother to knock, and as expected, your voice is all she needs to open the door and step aside. It was actually surprisingly quick this time too, as if she had been waiting on the other side already.

The air is tense, a feeling you never really associated with No-eul, but it’s late and the earlier conversation you had with your two new friends didn’t do much to dispel your undying anxiety about tomorrow. You can feel her gaze on you even from behind that mask, but you pay her no mind as you rush your wet hands across your reddened face and hair. The cooling effect is instant, and now, you finally feel ready to face her.

“Take off the mask, please.” Your voice is more exasperated than you intended it to be, but you can’t cover up the fatigue you’ve been feeling since the start of the games. It’s probably more of an emotional exhaustion thing, but you don’t want to think about all that right now.

As she’s going through the process of removing the layers covering her face from you, you begin heading over to the far end of the bathroom, eventually dropping to the floor with a heavy sigh. She’s staring at you expectedly.

“The gloves too.”

She doesn’t protest or even sigh, simply pulling them off her hands before shoving them into the pockets of her pink tracksuit. She takes this opportunity to run her fingers through her hair, bangs previously stuck to her face being pushed back out of the way. In that process, she reveals a red, clearly fresh cut on the side of her face. You practically jump up from the floor and stomp right back over to her.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Don’t worry, it was just a tussle with some of the other guards.” Your hands gingerly cup her face as you tilt it to examine the wound. She can feel her skin tingle where your fingertips gingerly graze it. “I handled it.”

You sigh heavily at her dismissal of the open wound on her face and walk around her to grab some paper towels, turning on the faucet to let cold water flow onto them.

“Fuck, No-eul, you’re not even participating in the games and you’re still finding ways to get injured.” Your hands are still shaking a bit when you come back over to her, gently dabbing the dried blood off her cheek. Her gaze is heavy on you, but you can’t bring yourself to look her in the eye right now. Not when you can practically feel her eyes all over your face, your body, every part of you.

As she stands there, No-eul’s mind begins to wander. How can you stand here, right in front of her after everything? Sometimes she genuinely believes you’re an angel sent from heaven to give her reprieve from the pain in her life; a gentle soul, who, even now, overlooks her greatest faults.

“I’m sorry,” she breathes out, gently taking your trembling hand in hers and pulling it away from her face. There’s an uncharacteristic softness in her expression, but you’ve seen it enough times to understand what it really conveys: guilt.

“You don’t have to apologize for something like this,” you say, clearing your throat as you turn to throw the paper towel away. “If you say everything’s fine, I’ll believe you.” Like always.

It's silent for a moment - almost peaceful - before her face twists as if she's just recalled an unpleasant memory.

“Who was that girl you were with? 380.” You scoff at her sudden question and turn around with pure confusion on your face.

“What?”

“She brought you over to those drug heads earlier. It’s not safe to hang around people like that, especially not in a place like this.” You bite back a response that said, well, you're currently with one of the guards that were gunning down people earlier, so how does that work?

“God, No-eul, it’s just a shitty temporary team-up kind of thing,” you laugh slightly at your own words, making sure to leave out your already growing attachment to two people in your little group. “What, did you expect me to try to do this all on my own?”

Her growing agitation is evident as her jaw visibly clenches and she turns away a bit, resting her hands on the back of the rifle slung around her shoulder. “I’m saying you should choose better, they’re the type of people who would drop you in a split second if it meant they could survive another day.”

“You think I don’t know that? Two of them are constantly high out of their minds and the other two-” You interrupt yourself with a sigh, shutting your eyes as your head droops; unfortunately, you can’t actually think of any reason you could have to distrust the unexpectedly kind girl and the shy boy you’ve grown acquainted with.

If they turned their backs on you, you would be lying if you said it wouldn’t phase you in the slightest.

No-eul begins feeling guilty again when she watches your shoulders drop and your eyes dim at the realization of the shitty situation you’ve found yourself in. Even so, her eyes don’t miss the unchanging patch on your sweater: a blue rectangle, neatly stitched with an O in the center. She bites her lip and curses under her breath. Always playing the hero, even at the expense of yourself.

She slowly walks back over to you, lifting up a single hand to trace the patch that signified your choice to give your life for hers.

“The issue isn’t the money,” the broker exclaims, his voice a mix of pity and exasperation at her persistence. “We’ve searched, we’ve been searching for years now, but a one-year old alone… especially after her mother deserted…?” Her expression hardens and he winces at the unintentional cruelty in his statement. “It’s almost impossible by now, No-eul.”

Her anger is barely contained when she feels a gentle hand on her shoulder, and a newfound calmness washes over her in waves.

“We understand the circumstances, sir, but please, please keep searching.” His expression softens slightly at the kind, weary smile on yours. “We’ll handle the expenses, all we ask is that you believe in this search too.”

She almost wants to cry at the sound of your sweet voice.

“We still have hope.”

“Get out of your head, No-eul.”

She’s startled back to reality when she feels gentle hands caress the scars on her wrists. Instinctively, she goes to pull away, but you step forward at the same time and press your body against hers, keeping a firm yet gentle grip on her wrists, fingertips still tracing the marks of the pain she’s held onto for seven years.

“Please don’t forget, this was my choice.” Your voice is muffled against the crook of her neck, but it’s just as gentle as she remembers it to be. “I still have hope.”

With those simple words, she feels the dream she’s held onto for years glow just a bit brighter. Closing her eyes, she leans head to rest atop yours, gently removing her arms from your grip to wrap them firmly around your body. You don’t hesitate to reciprocate her hold.

“Me too.” Your grip on her tightens just barely. “I still have hope too.”

—

A/N: WOW SORRY PLOT DUMP ALERT!! I love some good set-up but I hope the yearning was enough to make up for the lack of obvious romance like smut..

Never posted on Tumblr before too so I have no clue if I did this right (like formatting)! again, any thoughts on the fic are appreciated and ill probably (hopefully) finish part 2 soon! that part will prob be better cuz the relationship between all characters are all set up now. might cross post on ao3/wattpad but haven't decide yet

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Sometimes I wonder why the fandom used blatantly refuse to allow killer to love or care about color the way they made him care about literally anyone else, mostly nightmare, on the rare occasions they bothered to acknowledge color at all.

It’s always depicted as if killer doesn’t feel the same way about color as color does about him (romantic or platonic doesn’t matter) as if color isn’t the only one killer has ever asked for help or admitted his deepest wants and desires to and if color isn’t the only person he has ever canonically and openly admitted to liking in any capacity in his present day, and being aware of that liking even in Stage 2 after the “Save Me” comic, even if it’s not enough for him to trust Color yet. The only other person he’s gotten close to saying that he ‘used to like’ was Toriel.

Papyrus would’ve likely been another if killer had ever been able to handle even thinking about him. Let alone talking about him. Not even Nightmare gets ‘like,’ at most he gets ‘kinda missed.’

Literally, when asked if he likes anyone, killer has just straight up just said “no” and yet in the same comic where color gets killer to admit what he wants, killer also (in stage 2!) would’ve said he “kinda likes that guy” if nightmare hadn’t told him to shut up. And that is immediately after threatening to kill color.

[mahojelly92]

Seven Minutes in Heaven

Word count: 2.6k

Schlatt and reader get stuck in a bedroom together :3 What will happen??

Contains some angst, but mostly fluff. I think I'll write another part and include smut 👀😝

Written for fem reader or gender neutral reader.

Schlatt's mouth falls open as we lock eyes across the room.

I choke on my beer and bring my hand up to stifle a cough. The bottle was pointing straight at me.

This can't be real, right?

“You and Schlatt, huh?” Tucker hollers next to me, his grin far too wide for my liking. Our friends in the circle cheer us on, making my cheeks burn up. Schlatt scoffs and rolls his eyes with a smirk.

Oh, it was definitely real.

“C'mon, guys. You're fucking kidding me, right?” Schlatt laughs nervously.

Glad he despises this as much as I do.

Ted shakes his head and points to the bottle in the middle of the room.

“The bottle doesn't lie, man!” He chuckles and glances at me with a devilish smirk on his face. I swear to god, once this is over and done with, I'm gonna fucking kill him.

“Well?” Ted asks dryly. His question is met with giggles and snickers all around us.

I stutter and feel my heart race. Of course Schlatt and I had to join in for the last round of spin the bottle. And of course the last game was fucking seven minutes in heaven.

Just my luck.

Schlatt slaps his knees and stands up from his spot on the floor, his smirk never wavering as he exclaims, “Alright, sweetheart, let's get this over with.”

He saunters towards the bedroom and glances back at me.

“You coming?” I nod and clammer to my feet, following him close behind and trying to ignore everyone's eyes on me. I awkwardly walk into the bedroom with him. My shoulders tense up as Ted shuts the door behind us and locks it.

That damn bastard.

“Alright you two!” He cheerfully exclaims through the door. “The seven minutes start…now!” He claps and shuffles away. I can hear voices giggling in the background.

Rolling my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest, I swivel on my heels to find Schlatt standing in front of me. He has that dumb smirk on his face and a hint of mischief in his eyes. His hands are stuffed in his pockets and his posture is alarmingly casual for a time like this.

My breath quickens as he looks me up and down.

“What?” I glare at him defensively, feeling my face grow hot.

“Nothing, toots. This is just funny. Who knew we'd end up here, huh?” He scans the room before his gaze returns to me again.

“Definitely not me.” I shake my head, huffing and running a hand through my hair.

“Hey, hey. Relax, would you? We don't have to do anything. Jesus.” He scoffs in annoyance, removing his hands from his pockets and running a hand over the back of his neck.

He clicks his tongue and goes over to the edge of the bed, sitting down and patting the space next to him.

“C’mere.” He huffs and glares at me. I'm frozen in place like a deer in headlights. My heart leaps in my chest.

“C’mon, toots. Sit with me.” He repeats sternly, patting the bed again.

I sigh and uncross my arms, sitting next to him and leaving some space between us. I breathe in and out slowly, trying to calm my nerves. I fiddle with my hands and place them in my lap, taking a moment to breathe and survey the bedroom.

The room is dark except for the warm light coming from the bedside lamps. Moonlight creeps in from the window to the left of us, emphasizing the dark blue paint on the walls and the soft grey comforter beneath us. The bedroom is decorated with a few picture frames and a couple of flower vases. Unlit candles are scattered across the dresser. The lamps are placed on either side of the bed, softly illuminating the walls and bouncing off Jay's skin. His usual dry, cocky demeanor fades as he stares off into the distance, his annoyance replaced by an air of quiet contemplation.

I realize that I'm staring at him and I quickly dart my eyes away, feeling that familiar heat rising in my chest again.

I shift on the bed and take in a deep breath. My shoulders relax a little as I look him over once more. His body slumps next to mine, clearly too tall for the short bed. His legs stretch out in front of him, the heels of his shoes digging into the floor, while his hands rest lazily in his lap.

He's such a giant. It's so cute how tall he is for his own good sometimes.

I chuckle to myself, unintentionally snapping him out of his trance. His head whips towards me, a goofy grin spreading across his face. Strands of curly brown hair fall against his forehead, and the stubble on his mutton chops catches in the moonlight, giving him an almost angelic glow.

His voice lowers as he leans down to speak.

“You know, ever since we were friends in high school, you've been nothing but trouble for me.” His eyes are playful, yet carry a hint of something I can't quite piece together.

I roll my eyes and smile. “In what way? Is this your idea of trouble, big guy?”

“No. This was just pure luck.” He gestures around the room and turns back to me. “But I'm just saying, you were so difficult back then. Always boy crazy and dramatic. I can't believe I kept you around for this long.” His words come out dry, but his eyes squint at the corners and the left side of his mouth curls up.

“Hey, for the record, I'm no longer like that. My bachelorette days are over.” I gloat.

“Oh really?” Jay smirks, straightening himself and shifting to face me. His knee lightly brushes against mine, making me shiver.

“Two months ago you were all over Kenan. I told you it was never gonna work out, toots. Someone didn't wanna follow my advice, and look where that got 'em?” His voice is tinged with arrogance. I laugh. He's totally talking about me, that smug asshole.

I throw my hands up in mock-defeat. “Okay, okay. At least I make an effort to go out on dates. When was the last time you even flirted with a woman, big guy?” I lean forward and smile mischievously, challenging his gaze.

“Hey, I have my reasons, okay.” He laughs, jutting his chin forward and pointing at himself. “I'm building my career, and I'm doing a damn good job at it, thank you very much.” He turns his nose up at me, sniffing his mustache.

Oh boy. Jay's cockiness was in full swing now.

He puffs his chest out and his lips curl into a playful sneer. “Besides, I make more money in a month than you’ll ever make in a year, bitch.”

I gasp exaggeratedly and chuckle. “Oh no, how devastating! Too bad I don't give a fuck about money.”

“Well, you better, because you can't come crying back to me when you're all broke and homeless, that's for sure.” Jay snaps back.

I laugh, playfully shoving his shoulder. My eyes light up with a sudden idea. “I've got it!” I sit up straighter, slamming my fist into my palm.

“I'll get myself a sugar daddy so I won't have to work a single day in my life! That kills two birds with one stone. Doesn't it, big guy? That way if I ever do become broke and homeless, you won't have to worry about a damn thing.” I smile at him triumphantly.

He chuckles and raises an eyebrow. “A sugar daddy? Who would be dumb enough to fall for that? I know more billionaires than you can count, sweetheart. And I'm certain they wouldn't even lift a finger for you.”

I laugh and blush, stretching my legs out in front of me and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. He's really digging into me, isn't he?

“I'll make it work, trust me. Soon you'll be wishing you had the life of a free-loader. Just you wait.” Jay cracks up at my joke and shakes his head, leaning his hands on the edge of the bed.

“You're impossible, you know that?” he stares down at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Jay's left hand takes up the space between us, his pinky brushing slightly against my hip. I swallow and try to keep my composure, staring up at his face with a gentle smile.

The clock on the wall ticks lazily, a reminder of the time slipping away from us. Had it even been two minutes? I couldn't even tell anymore.

His smirk slowly vanishes. He seems lost in thought again, staring down at the floor in front of us.

“What's on your mind, big guy?” I ask, leaning forward to get a better look at him.

He shakes his head and eyes me. “Nothing. Don't worry about it.” He smiles and holds my gaze for longer than expected. I see that twinkle in his eyes again. My heart skips a beat.

I look away and clear my throat.

“You know,” I murmur, my voice lowering. I circle my thumbs in my lap. “I admire how hard you work, Jay. If I had just an ounce of your ambition, I think I'd be in a much different place by now.”

A beat passes and I hear him breathing steadily, considering my words.

“You really think that?” His voice rises in surprise.

I nod and glance at him, catching his cheeks turning pink.

“Well, thanks, doll.” He inhales sharply, his chest expanding. “But, I can't take all the credit, you know. You’re the reason I even have this career in the first place. You've always supported my stupid ideas. Sometimes I wonder who I'd be if I'd just stayed in college with you. I'd probably be way more book smart and less…” he waves his hands in front of him, searching for the right word. “Less of an asshole, I guess.” He chuckles nervously, looking down and fiddling with his hoodie strings. A sort of sadness lingers beneath his words.

My stomach drops as I see his face falling. All I wanna do is kiss him and make him forget all about the regret seething through him.

I bite my lip softly. “Yeah, but, is that so bad?”

His head perks up at my question. He props his elbows against his knees and leans forward, meeting me at eye level.

“I put up with you, Jay. Even if you are an asshole sometimes.” I let out a chuckle and breathe in, choosing my words carefully. “But YouTube is all you've ever wanted. It's all you've ever known.” He nods in agreement, listening intently.

“If you had gone through college and graduated with me, then…” my voice cracks and my gaze wavers. “Then, what would you be living for?” My heart rate picks up and I feel sweat bead on my temples.

I take a good look at Jay. I can see the gears turning in his head. That glint in his eye is back and brighter than ever.

The clock ticks again, this time more daunting than before. The air thickens with tension. Jay's gaze never leaves mine. His expression is soft, contemplative, understanding. It's a rarity to see him like this -- so genuine, so open, and so entirely himself.

He speaks up, voice shaking slightly. “You know what I'd be living for, doll.”

He places a firm hand over mine and gives it a gentle squeeze, temporarily easing the trembling in my fingers.

“You know, don't you?” he whispers.

I swallow and nod, glancing at his thumb brushing over my knuckles. God, I just want to scream.

His eyes sear into mine so intensely that it makes my stomach churn. I can't take the sight of him and snap my eyes back to my lap again. My face burns profusely and my heart pounds in my ears. I can't think straight and I clench my hands tighter under his grasp.

What the fuck is happening?

“Jay…” my voice trails off. I'm afraid. Afraid of what this will lead to. Afraid of what this might entail. We've been friends for so long. We were practically inseparable since the day we met. Yet, when we did finally go our separate ways, something shifted between us. An unspoken awareness of something deeper, a tension that neither of us could ignore. Now, as I sit here, my heart racing and my chest heaving, I'm torn between the familiarity of our past and the uncertainty of our future.

And I knew he felt the same way.

Jay lifts my chin up. My breath catches as he stares into my eyes and leans in.

He brushes his lips against mine, angling my head with his. I whimper softly and deepen the kiss, snaking my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. His hands caress the small of my back, sending a chill down my spine. A tickle grazes my cheeks as his mutton chops collide with my skin. His hot breath fans across my lips and I realize that this is utter perfection. He's all I've ever wanted, all I've ever dreamed of for so long.

Jay pulls back and I blink rapidly, a wave of dizziness washing over me as I try to regain myself.

“Are you sure you want this? Are you sure you want me?” Jay asks, vulnerability dripping through his words.

I bring my hand around his neck to his cheek, grazing my thumb across his facial hair.

“More than anything.” I whisper. He leans into my palm and sighs contently, closing his eyes. I press my forehead to his.

“You know, toots, you're not half bad.” Jay smirks, a low chuckle rumbling through his chest. He strokes my hair, smoothing it flat.

“Is this your way of saying you like me?” I giggle and tilt my head, our noses brushing against each other.

“With every bone in my body, sweetheart.” He smiles and leans in to kiss me again.

We pull back and just sit there, holding each other. The clock ticks on in its methodical rhythm, steadying our heartbeats. Jay squeezes me tighter, gently rubbing my back. I close my eyes and hum softly -- reveling at the quite connection between us.

The door knob wobbles and snaps us back to reality. Ted bursts through the door with his hand covering his eyes.

“Alright, lovebirds! You can come out now!” He stumbles into the room with his arm flailing out in front of him, grasping for air.

Schlatt scoffs and gawks at Ted, dumbfounded. “You can look, you idiot. We're not fucking naked.”

“Phew. Alright!” Ted exhales sharply and uncovers his face. “Have fun, you two?” He teases, eyeing us cuddled up on the end of the bed.

“Fuck off, Ted!” Schlatt and I shout in unison.

“Alright, jeez.” Ted sighs and backs off. “Well it worked, didn't it?” He smiles confidently and shrugs.

He knew all along, didn't he?

Fucking bastard.

I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Schlatt stands up and takes my hand, dragging me out into the living room and leaving Ted scrambling behind us.

Immediately, we're bombarded with questions firing at us from all angles.

“Did you guys kiss?”

“How was it? Give us all the details!”

“Y'all totally fucked. Spill!”

“So you guys are a thing now, right?”

We just smile at each other and push through our friends to sit on the couch, trying to deflect everything being thrown at us. I blush and keep my eyes on Jay, who's equally as embarrassed.

“Guys.” he grunts, making everyone fall silent. “You can cool it, alright? Nothing happened. Nothing worthy of mentioning, anyways.”

They finally cut us some slack and go back to talking amongst themselves.

Jay sighs heavily and stares down at me, his eyes gleaming with that sparkle I now understand so clearly.

“You okay?” He smirks, a hint of concern flicking across his face.

I nod and intertwine his hand in mine. A comfortable warmth spreads across my chest.

“Yeah, never better.” I exhale and stare at our hands with a smile.

“This is gonna be a long night.”

A/N: This one took me a WHILEEEE! I hope y'all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it 😘

[gothamite-rambler]

"You are not dying for me!"

Penguin (smirking, waving his gun between Red Hood and Nightwing): Who do you choose?

Batman tapped his chin, his mind racing as he considered the right choice before making a resolute decision.

Batman (steadfast, voice steady): Shoot me.

Nightwing (eyes widening in disbelief): What?

Penguin (taken aback, blinking in confusion): What?

Red Hood (enraged recognizing Batman's intention): For Christ's sake, no! No! You're not taking a bullet for one of us! Shoot me! Seriously, turn the gun on me! Don’t you dare aim that gun at him!

Penguin turned between Batman to Red Hood, unsure of the best move to make here.

Batman (determined, voice firm): Don’t listen to him. Shoot me! I can take the bullet. I’m sacrificing myself!

Red Hood (furious, disbelief flooding his tone): Motherfucker, did I ask for that? You're not becoming a damn martyr! Penguin, shoot me, not him!

Nightwing (interjecting, voice rising as he tried to diffuse the situation): I’m quickly requesting that you not shoot me or any of us.

Penguin (confused, scratching his head): I… feel like I'm not in control of whatever this is.

Red Hood (frustrated, shaking his head): It's simple! Just shoot me in the stomach. That’s it!

Batman (voice low, threatening): If you shoot him, I will break your hand so badly that you’ll need to get it amputated.

Penguin (eyes widening): Got it, not shooting you.

Batman (exasperated, throwing up his hands): Let me get this straight, man I raised and gave a good life to: it's wrong to not want you to get shot and I should let you get shot?!

Red Hood (biting back, anger simmering): Yes! Man who had a son with an assassin because he thought a wallet condom could do the job, BITCH!

Batman (glaring): Don’t bring that up! That is not relevant to this conversation!

Red Hood (defiant, cutting in): Neither is you taking a bullet! It's Sophie's Choice, not The Prize!

Batman (snapping back, incredulous): You’re quoting media at me?! I want to die for you and you're throwing out media titles! Nightwing, let Penguin shoot me!

Nightwing (hesitant, voice shaky): I—

Red Hood (insistent, glaring at Nightwing): Nightwing, tell Penguin to shoot me!

Nightwing (looking away, voice strained): I don't want to— That wall over there looks really interesting…

Nightwing walked off with Penguin stopping him, realizing the crime lord felt it was better to step back now that he had lowered his gun.

Red Hood (clenching his fists, frustration boiling over): You know what you're doing! You’ll get shot, and with your last dying breath—or in some letter or video you set up—you'll tell me not to kill anymore. You dying would prove that!

Batman (avoiding the truth, silence lingering): …

Nightwing (disappointed, pacing past the group): Tsk, you were actually going to do that.

Penguin (mockingly): You would do that too.

Batman (snapping, voice harsh): Hey! You’re not part of this conversation, jackass! Shoot me already!

Red Hood (glaring, voice bubbling with rage): If you shoot him, I will bite your fucking nose off!

Penguin (raising his hands in surrender, voice calm): I’m just going to let you guys argue this one out. Both of those threats aren’t worth shooting either of you.

Batman (frustrated, voice firm): Let me do this for you!

Red Hood (voice rising, hurt evident): You know what? Fuck you! I’ve forgiven you; I’ve accepted you! I’ve let you pay me to not kill! I befriended Orphan, who is way better at her job than you, and through all this shit, you think you’ll take a bullet for me?

Batman (defensive, glaring at Red Hood): Who do you think you’re talking to?!

Red Hood stormed past Penguin, who merely nodded, amused, pulling out a small book to read as the argument continued.

Red Hood (shouting over his shoulder, furious): I’m talking to you, you bat-wearing, Star Wars-loving nimrod!

Batman (matching his intensity, voice rising): The prequels are good!

Red Hood (scoffing, eyes narrowing): No, they’re not, bitch!

Nightwing (sighing, feeling exasperated): I feel like this isn’t about me at all. I’m just going to deal with Penguin while you two have your father-son talk.

[hotvintagepoll]

Donald O'Connor (Singin' in the Rain, Francis, Call Me Madam)— LOOK AT HIM. Those giant blue peepers. Those tappy tappy little feet that don't quit. The ears that stick out like little wings, ready to lift him up to goofy heaven. The way his face contorts into the strangest yet most endearing expressions. His ability to sing and dance alongside the hunk that is Gene Kelly and yet pull all attention away with his big-eyed buffoonery. The way his energy is unmatched in songs like "Make 'em laugh" - bouncing off the walls and tumbling through the air straight into my cold cold heart. Who else but a true scrungly lil guy would sit upon the witness stand and defend a talking mule with all the love and affection in the world - staring out into the court room with his bright wide eyes and eternally mouse-like expression, openly admitting that the mule is his best friend?!??! I see him and I want to pull him from the screen into my hand and just squiiiiiiiiiiiiish with all my might. I want to pinch his cheeks and have him bat those eyes at me. He just makes me go "eeehehehehehe" every time I see him and his silly little self. He is pure chaotic, ridiculous, scrungly perfection!

Mantan Moreland (Mr. Washington Goes to Town, Cabin in the Sky)—i love mantan moreland SO. MUCH. and he is the pERFECT scrungly little guy!!!!! like a lot of black actors at the time he was always getting sidelined into small parts, but unusually he also managed to become a star in his own right and was almost one of the three stooges! he was a groundbreaking comedic actor known for his distinctive stare (very good for the horror movies he did), and he always is way more fun to watch on screen than anyone else. he had a famous double-act where he perfected this technique of non-conversations (where both people keep finishing each other's sentences before any actual information is conveyed). a lot of his movies are free on youtube and i really enjoy seeing him do his silly little guy thing in all of them!!! anyways yeah please include mantan he deserves some recognition as peak scrungle

This is round 3 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Donald O'Connor:

My silliest little guy. My funnyman. My horsie. I have watched many a bad movie for this man. The scrungliest fact I know about him is that he was supposed to star as Danny Kaye's role in the iconic White Christmas (1954), as he had known Bing Crosby since he was a child, but couldn't because he caught a mule disease while working on those Francis the Talking Mule films Universal endlessly made him do. I wouldn't exactly recommend those movies, but Don's character getting psychologically tormented by a sardonic mule does make for quite a good movie night, if you know what you're getting into. Are You With It? is another one I don't exactly recommend, but it does open with Donald as a math genius actuary who is about to kill himself over a displaced decimal point before getting taken in by a traveling carny instead. His more well-known and beloved roles have plenty of scrungliness too, in my opinion. This man slapsticked so hard he wound up bedridden for his physical exertion! Rather than submitting Make 'Em Laugh, which the electorate has likely already seen (I hope), I'm submitting an underrated dance number of his, where he explains maths through tap dance. That movie is Not good, but god do I love him in that role.

I think it's arguably very scrungly to seemingly be a real life cartoon character made out of rubber, as proven by how slapsticky the list of scrunglies is so far. In which case, Donald O'Connor? He scrungles supremely. He even played Buster Keaton in a movie (that apparently can't be recommended, but still).

Mantan Moreland:

here's his double act in action!! [editor's note: Benson Fong cameo too!]

He just had a scrungly look about him and he played big with his roles so any of it became especially scrungly. Plus he was very funny in the way only scrungly people can be.

the FUNNEST GUY TO WATCH ON SCREEN. he was an immensely gifted physical comedian, able to convey loads with his eyes, and while some of his parts are so sad and cringeworthy, I feel like he always brought a humanity and humor that lifted them beyond cheap stereotype.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Not Him

Jay Halstead x Reader

You love your job in intelligence. It provides it's challenges along the way though and the biggest one proves to be that you and your partner can't get along.

Rivals to lovers 👀 I'd say I'm sorry for how feral this man makes me but I'm not.

You enjoyed working in intelligence. Voight was a bit of a hard ass but if you were one of his detectives he would go to bat for you if something happened. You handled some of the hardest cases to hit the CPD and was a pretty well respected unit.

You loved working out of the twenty first, Trudy ran a tight ship of her house and it always ran fairly smoothly. You were long time friends with Kim, Adam and Kevin and it hadn't taken long for a friendship to form between you and Hailey.

All in all it should seem besides the hazards of your job you should be happy in it. You probably would be if it wasn't for the fact that you and your partner couldn't get along for over five minutes if your lives weren't currently on the line.

Jay was a damn good cop. He went above and beyond at his job and you trusted him with your life when it came down to it but that didn't change the fact that when danger wasn't in the equation you two were constantly at each other's throats.

“For fucks sake Halstead!” For a second you considered just how pissed Voight would get if you aimed your coffee for the back of Jay's head as the two of you walked up the stairs. He'd purposely held the gate until you were almost to it then let it slam shut in your face.

He glanced over his shoulder at you, a smirk slipping onto his face “If your short ass throws that coffee at me I'm moving all of your gear onto the top shelf” 

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of the coffee to emphasize the fact that you clearly weren't going to do that, annoyed that he'd yet again been able to anticipate what you were thinking.

He raised an eyebrow at you before heading towards his desk. You headed towards yours, smiling when Hailey told you good morning “Morning Hails. At least you know how to talk to a partner” you glared across the room at Jay who smirked “Aww did I hurt your feelings? Admit it and I'll apologize”

“You know what…” you started but was interrupted by Voight coming out of his office “Alright, listen up” 

_________________

You moved around your desk to sit on the edge of it as he ran down the most recent case. There were guns coming in, highly modified, highly illegal guns. Someone had to go under to pose as a buyer so all of you could trace them back to the source and hit the high man on the totem pole instead of just the salesperson.

He pointed at Jay “Halstead you're up on this. You fit the mark” “Pretentious white guy?” You asked which earned you matching glares from Voight and Jay but a muffled laugh from Kim. 

Voight turned his eyes on you “I wouldn't get ahead of myself sweetheart. Your partner needs backup. You're going under as his wife”

“Yes sir” you replied, knowing you'd pushed too far from his tone. You cut your eyes at Jay who was already staring you down “C.I. is gonna set the initial meet for tomorrow night. You two get your story straight and get ready” Voight ordered before going into a preraid plan.

Great. You and Jay had to act like a married couple, undercover which meant trying to avoid a dangerous situation. How the hell were you gonna make it through without killing each other?

Kim was helping you to get ready and Hailey was wiring you up. Voight gave you three the use of the tech room while Jay was upstairs using the locker room.

“Try not to kill him?” Kim asked as she put the final touches on your hair. “I don't kill suspects for no reason Kim, damn” Hailey glanced up from where she was running the wire along your bra “She means Jay”

You cracked a laugh “Oh, no promises on that one” they both shook their heads. “You two are ridiculous” Kim laughed so you shrugged, trying to think of a reply other than “He started it”

“He's insufferable” you scoffed and they shared a look before laughing again. A knock at the door made all three of you look before Kevin's voice drifted through “Hey, yall ready?” 

“Come on in Kev. I'm dressed!” You hollered and he opened the door. He let his eyes flit over you then nodded “Damn, you clean up good” you put one hand on your hip and looked at Kim “Was that a compliment or insult? Felt like it could go either way” 

She laughed as Kevin started to backpedal “No…I just meant” “Easy Kevin. I'm messing with you” you laughed, grabbing your jacket off the desk.

You followed Kevin out into roll up with Hailey and Kim following the two of you. “Where's Jay?” You asked and his voice came from behind you “Right here”

You turned around and tried to not let your eyes wander. Jay was an asshole to you ninety percent of the time but damn if he wasn't the most gorgeous man you'd ever laid your eyes on. The fitted black suit he wore hugged his shoulders beautifully, the stark white shirt making his eyes seem an even brighter shade of blue. 

You swallowed hard and turned your eyes to Voight who had just walked down the stairs “What's the play boss?” 

You sat in the passenger seat of the Ashton Martin that was being used as Jay's car. It felt insane being in a car that would pay off your mortgage but that was your job.

Jay bumped your arm over the console “Act like it's your husband's car. You're too damn stiff” you glanced towards him, watching as he steered the car through the busy street confidently as if it didn't cost what it cost. 

You didn't want to admit the act of confidence was sexy in itself. “Maybe I'd be less stiff if I liked my husband?” You teased, turning your head to look at him. 

His jaw clenched tightly before he said “I want to choke the life out of you half the time and yet I can act like I am an adoring husband" you raised an eyebrow “That's kinda kinky of you to say Jay, not gonna lie” and was rewarded with a light blush gracing his cheeks. Luckily your coms weren't active until you got to the meet so no-one else heard that little comment.

He shook his head “You're a fucking pain in my ass” You grinned “right back at ya partner” then settled into the seat, smoothing your dress down your legs. You noticed his eyes flicker your way when you adjusted the long slit that was on the side and smirked to yourself.

The slit was the selling point. Made your legs easier to use over a dress this style without one. Now you were thinking it had a different selling point if it helped you torment Jay. 

Jay's fingers dug into your hips to the point you knew that you'd have bruises come morning. Thankfully you were single because damn that would be hard to explain.

“What's wrong baby?” He whispered into the shell of your right ear, low enough the suspect or com wouldn't pick it up.  “I hate being in your presence, I hope you know that.” you replied in the same tone and he grinned adjusting his thigh that was under you just enough a gasp of surprise left you  “You’re literally sitting half on my lap.” “Because there is nowhere else to sit!” you bit back before the suspect started talking about the actual sale that demanded both of yours full attention.

________________

By the time you were able to leave the meet you were fairly certain you very well may murder Jay.

The sale was set with the pretense that the big boss had to be there. He would call Jay and it would go from there.

You sat down in the passenger seat of the Ashton Martin and this time nearly melted into the seat. Jay pulled out onto the road and cut his eyes at you “You seem relaxed now” you glared at him “What the fuck was that about?”

He shrugged “Honestly? It was funny as hell to watch you squirm after I saw you checking me out back at the precinct” your mouth fell open “I was not” he chuckled “It's ok partner. You can look”

“You’re not that good looking, alright?” you damn near growled and he basically fucking preened “So you admit I’m good looking?” “What? N-no. Never.” You kicked yourself when you stammered. 

He pulled to a stop at a red light and turned his head to look at you. His eyes drifted from yours down to your neck then followed the low neckline of your dress “I'm looking so what's the shame in you looking?”

Before you could respond the light turned green and he pulled away. You clenched your thighs together, trying to soothe the ache his words and the weight of his stare had caused. So this was his newest torment? Oh you could play that game.

 

Ok, so maybe you didn't have to slip in front of Jay to grab a cup of coffee. It was the last cup and he had already had two. You overestimated the amount of room however and felt his hips bump into yours, his crotch effectively being pressed against your ass.

You looked over your shoulder up at him and the fire in his eyes made you bite your cheek to keep from making a noise. “Wanting me to bend you over that bad?” He asked low and you glared at him “Shut up before I-” he leaned down to the point his body was nearly folded over yours  “Before you what, huh? No, say it. Let me see if you can finish that sent-” 

With no other idea you grabbed one of the mini muffins Kim had bought in that morning and shoved it into his mouth, using the shock of the moment to untangle yourself from him. 

He shook his head, chewing the muffin as he laughed. You weren't sure where this little game was headed but you were damn sure playing with fire because you had just nearly folded like a $2 lawn chair in a hurricane.

 

You were sitting in the passenger seat of Jay's truck, trying to ignore his eyes on you. The two of you were sitting on a C.I. for Voight 

“When's the last time you dated anyone?” He asked breaking the silence and you laughed sharply “Dated or fucked, which we talking here?”

His smirk dropped “When's the last time you fucked someone?” Your tongue slipped out to wet your bottom lip, your clit throbbing when you saw his eyes track the movement. “A few months ago” you admitted honestly, despite knowing this was so far off conversation you should be having with him.

“Explains why you're so bitchy” he shrugged. You felt anger flicker to life in your stomach “Fuck you Jay. You're not exactly a ray of sunshine either there partner” 

He adjusted down in the seat, the movement pulling your eyes to his crotch and you mentally kicked yourself for doing such. “Maybe I need a good fuck too and it's a pain in the ass to constantly be stuck in close quarters with you when all I can think about is the fact that you wouldn't be able to bitch at me if your face was down in my bed”

“Jay!” You gasped and he smirked “What? C'mon you've never thought about fucking me? Not once” you turned your face to look out of the window and he laughed “I fuckin knew it. I bet you'd let me fuck you here in my truck if I asked”

Your head snapped towards him “Halstead, tow the line” he leaned over the console “You're thinking about it huh? My hands on your body, finally feeling my lips on your skin, the way my dick would feel buried in that pretty little pussy..” 

“Jay” you warned low and he called your name to get you to meet his eyes “Tell me you don't want me and I'll drop it. I swear”

When you didn't reply he slipped one hand over to rest on the thigh closest to him “Patrol car will be here any minute to relieve us. I can take you home and we can act like this conversation never happened or..”

“Or?” You asked, your legs unconsciously falling open a little further as if to invite his touch. He smirked when he clocked the movement “Or you come home with me”

 

What were you thinking? What the hell were you thinking? That was the only thing going through your mind as you followed Jay through the hall to his apartment.

You stood back while he unlocked the door then cut his eyes at you “Second thoughts princess?” You shook your head because no matter how bad of an idea this was you wanted it.

He smirked “Give me words baby. Before you ever step foot into my place I wanna hear you say it” you took a step closer to him, hands coming to rest on his belt before raising your eyes to meet his “I want you Jay”

“Fuck” he groaned and the next thing you knew he was crouching to scoop you up with both hands under your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he stepped into his apartment, kicking the door closed before slamming you back against it.

_______________

The look in his eyes made you roll your bottom lip between your teeth “You're so damn beautiful. Do you know how fucking much you annoy me?” He asked before slipping a knee between your thighs, bringing your body down to roll your hips along his thigh, putting just the right amount of pressure on your throbbing core.

When you moaned lightly he chuckled “Listen at that. You sound so fucking sweet” you glared at him “You're an asshole” he grinned “and yet you're in my arms” before he caught your lips with his. The kiss was hungry, hard and bruising. Everything you knew it would be but damn you needed more.

Your fingers dug into his biceps, trying to find something to ground yourself because it was not fair this insufferable man had you on the verge of an orgasm from kissing and his thigh. He grinned against your lips, dragging your body down his leg again and you moaned “Fuck Jay”

One of his hands slipped between your thighs, pressing hard on your clothed core. One swipe was all it took for your back to arch off the door “Damn darlin” he muttered and kept teasing at you, your breathing quickening with every swipe.

You could feel the orgasm building and when he dropped his head down to bite across your neck that was all it took to push you over that edge,making you shake lightly under him. 

He pulled back and grinned at you “You look so pretty shaking under me. I'm gonna have to see a lot more of that before I'm through with you”

He readjusted to get you back in his arms, you wrapped your legs around him, feeling the tremor in your thighs. He grinned, lips finding yours again as he walked towards his bedroom. He moved from your lips to your neck, kissing and biting the skin. Half of your brain said to tell him not to mark you but the other half knew if you did he would definitely mark you.

He dropped you unceremoniously onto his bed but before you had time to bitch he was back on you. His lips tasted better than any damn liquor and was twice as intoxicating. 

He rocked back on his heels, tugging your shoes off and tossing them behind him before reaching for your jeans. “Take your shirt off” he spoke low, eyes never leaving yours. 

Any other time you would've argued but you found yourself eagerly tugging your shirt over your head. He laughed lightly “Give her one orgasm and she suddenly listens”

The moment you were down to just your bra and panties he licked his lips “Fuck you are gorgeous” he slipped his shirt off along with kicking his shoes off then crawled up your body, kissing and teasing every inch of skin along the way. 

When he got to your lips the kiss he gave you was more tongue than anything and you moaned, nails gracing his shoulders in an effort to pull him closer. You'd seen him shirtless more than once but this time you could touch his skin, taste it.

When you pulled away from the kiss he eyed you for a moment before you tilted his head to let your lips find his neck. You'd always loved Jay's neck. Too many days you'd dreamt about tasting the skin there. You kissed across his pulse point, then bit down lightly and he moaned out your name, clothed hips rutting down into yours.

You kissed across his collarbone, biting and licking along the way. The soft sounds coming from him were heavenly. When you got to the other side of his neck he suddenly grabbed both of your hands and pinned them over your head in one of his. You met his eyes and he grinned before he started to kiss across your neck, his bites light enough to not leave marks but heavy enough to pull gasps from your lips. 

By the time he got down to your chest you were a frustrated mess. You squirmed against his grip on your arms as he used his free hand to reach under you to unsnap your bra, tossing it to the side. “Jay let me go” you demanded and he cut his eyes up at you before rolling one nipple between his teeth. A moan left you and you pulled at your hands again, trying to free them. 

“Jay fucking let go of my damn hands!” you all but yelled and he immediately loosened his grip. You grabbed his shoulders, pulling him back up to your lips. “Do that shit again and I swear I will fucking put my clothes back on and go to Mollys to find someone to finish what you started” 

His eyes darkened at your threat and he nipped at your bottom lip “Why are you always so damn mean?” you smiled up at him as sweetly as you could manage “Your brother thinks I’m a sweetheart” 

His eyes flew up to yours and just the look in them made you clench around nothing “Well by all means sweetheart if you think you’re with the wrong brother feel free to leave” one of his hands came up to wrap loosely around your throat before he leaned down to whisper in your ear “But Will can’t fuck you like I can. I can promise you that”

“Prove it” you whispered and he shook his head “Can’t wait to fuck the bitch right out of you” his hand slipped down under your panties and you moaned loudly when one thick finger slipped into you, followed by a second. “Hmm doesn’t sound like you want someone else” he muttered, curling his fingers so he could brush against that spot deep inside of you.

When he hit it your back arched off the bed and he chuckled “There it is” he continued to pump his fingers into you, adding his thumb down to rub tight circles onto your clit. Your hands gripped his comforter as gasps of his name fell from your lips, your orgasm slamming into you. He worked you through it, coaxing you with praises of “Damn you look pretty like this” “Feel so good squeezing my fingers”

When it became too much you shoved at his wrist and he pulled his hand away, sucking his fingers clean as he held your gaze. “Taste as pretty as you sound” he moved down the bed,laying between your spread legs.

The sight of Jay Halstead between your legs was enough to make you fall apart on its own. He winked at you before gripping your panties to pull them off your legs. He tossed them across the room. One finger teased at your slit “Look at that pretty little pussy” he brushed his finger across your clit and your head fell back against the pillows.

He lowered his mouth to you and the first lick had your eyes rolling back. He worked his tongue across your clit, his fingers pushing into you and finding that spongy spot that had your legs clamping around his head.  You could feel another orgasm building and when he barely grazed his teeth across the sensitive bud the building pressure burst. Your vision went soft around the edges and your legs were quivering around him.

He left a kiss on your inner thigh before pulling back to look up at you with a cocky smirk “How ya feeling partner?” you glared at him weakly “Fuck you Jay” he grinned “Is that an offer?” you shook your head “Take your jeans off and get up here”

He pushed them off his hips “Normally I wouldn’t take orders from you” when he kicked them and his boxers away you felt your mouth go dry. He looked like he was sculpted by the damn greek gods as a personal favor “Like what you see?” he asked and you shook your head “I’m liking it so far”

He pulled you down closer to him, kissing his way up your body until he got back to your lips. When he kissed you, you could taste yourself and that made a moan escape you. You could feel his hard cock pressing against your thigh. “Are you clean?” you asked and he chuckled, kissing along your neck “Just had a physical last month” 

“Then fuck me Halstead, damn” he bit down on the bend of your neck as the head of his cock pushed into you. “Fucking bossy” you couldn’t attempt to say anything back as he slowly pushed into you, the feeling of him stretching you around him was nearly overwhelming.

Once he was fully inside of you,his hips resting against yours he pushed your hair back out of your face and looked into your eyes for a moment “You still with me?” you smiled “I’m good”

He brushed his lips against yours and gave a tentative thrust of his hips. When you hooked your legs up around his waist he chuckled against your mouth “Impatient” he gripped one of your hips tightly and gave a sharp thrust of his hips, snapping them into yours. 

“Like that Jay, please” you gasped and he grinned “Dammit sweetheart” and buried his face in your neck as he found a hard pace, hips slamming into yours hard enough you could vaguely hear the headboard slamming against the wall with every thrust.

Your nails dug into his back, his hips burying into you hitting that spot with every thrust. You could feel another orgasm building already. One of his hands slipped between your bodies to play with your clit, rubbing heavy circles. You screamed his name as you came, nails digging into his flesh. He gave a few more hard thrusts then buried himself inside of you, you could feel him coating your walls, pumping some back out with his thrusts. 

He slowed once he finished and all but collapsed on top of you,both of your chests heaving. “Fuck”you gasped and he laughed “Yeah, that was a lot more fun than arguing”

You were fairly certain Jay was asleep. After the two of you had cleaned up, he’d wrapped himself around you which you hadn’t expected. You’d expected to get tossed your clothes and get told to go home.

You started to shift to get out of the bed and felt his hand shoot out to wrap around your wrist “Where are you going?” you looked back at him, a smile slipping onto your face “I know this isn’t a stay the night thing Jay. I’m gonna get dressed and summon an uber”

He shook his head “Stay, please” you stared at him for a moment “You’ve always acted like you can’t stand being around me” he raised an eyebrow and motioned around the bed “That was determined to be a lie” you laughed “What just happened Jay?” he shrugged “The start of something if that's what you want because I can’t go to work tomorrow and act like everythings how it was”

“Say the words baby. I need to hear you say them” you teased and he rolled his eyes “I want you. I want you to be mine, just mine” you raised an eyebrow “Will you be just mine?” he nodded “Yeah” you took a breath and saw the hesitation start to worry him before you turned to curl up to his chest “Ok” “Ok” he agreed, leaving a kiss on the side of your head.

You were almost asleep before he said “You were fucking with me about Will though, weren’t you?” you shook your head “Go to sleep Jay”

[bubbipond]

I knew media literacy was down while watching We Are and people were hating on Fang for not being as lovey dovey as Tan. Incapable of seeing that Fang had his own form of "lovey dovey" in his actions versus Tan and his words. So people watching dramas like The Heart Killers and straight up missing very obvious points doesn't shock me. I'm not making fun of people by any means, I just think too much of the QL media world lacks some form of literacy while watching these shows.

People are bad mouthing Kant like he's some sort of supervillain or antagonist. You don't even need knowledge of Taming of the Shrew to understand the dynamics between the four mc's (though if you want some, there are people on here diving into that). My point is, Kant, Style, Bison, and Fadel are not meant to be squeaky clean characters. I mean two of them are manipulating the other two, sleeping with them, and lying to them. While the other two are literal murderers. You aren't supposed to think these guys are totally upstanding. But the emphasis on Kant hate is bizarre.

Especially since Kant has always had most to lose in this. Style only really has to worry about his own safety but he already knows Fade! won't kill him.

Bison/Fadel could easily kill both boys or get "mom" to fix their issues. So they don't have ways out regardless of both being in love. But Kant has always had no way out. So much of this story is a conversation about what people will do when they are desperate with backs against the wall. Outside of Style, the other 3 had lives they had no control over.

There's so many layers and social issues at play in this that I cannot fathom people focusing on hating Kant. But that's just me.

+Don't even say that I am a firstkhao Stan which is why I'm saying this because this is actually only the second time l've watched them. The only other time was OF and I didn't even watch that for them. So this has nothing to do with bias.

[apostatefeverdream]

content warning for spoilers and Lukewarm Takes - i know that Solas 'i abhor the use of blood magic' Dragonage doing A Blood Magic in veilguard is muggy as fuck. and i know that characterisation in veilguard is shaky at times... but i kinda love what it says abt solas? because it feels So Him to hate something so entirely, to deny it and discredit it again and again and again but Do It Anyway because he's gone so far off the fucking deep end.

the blood magic thing is just one example of how easily he separates his actions from his principles but there's more,,, like he quite obviously (his depression frescos, cole's personal quest) is not a fan of having his strings pulled, of being used and guided into choices that aren't actually his own, but also he's the fucker who gave the undead magister the magic nuke! he's the one who subtly moulds and shapes the inquisition from day fucking zero! who immediately starts pushing the inquisitor into tidying up for him concealing the nature of The Orb (especially an elven inq - 'the threat corypheus wields? the orb he carried? it is ours' - solas is outspokenly anti-dalish but when it's convenient to exploit his kinship with lavellan, he'll fucking do it)! who presents himself as the authority on the fade, on magic, on corypheus just by using that goddamn catch all fade ex machina 'i dreamed it' excuse every five fucking minutes! who then promptly uses the inquisition as a springboard from which to jump into the deep end of the edgelord swimming pool!

for a guy who is 99% morals 1% worm, he sure as hell loves to completely undermine his beliefs with his behaviour!

just - solas who mocks the dalish for not knowing their true history, who he disparages for being separated so entirely from true elven culture that they're basically idiot children. and solas who sundered an entire race of beings from the fade and their history and saw the pain and devastation it caused them. that he caused them.

solas who despises the evanuris for enslaving his people, for taking away their agency and their freedoms. and solas who decides to tear down the veil, who makes that choice for the entirety of thedas, because a life that only he knew is so much better than the lives of everyone in the fucking world currently.

solas as a rebel, who hates manipulation and duplicity. and solas as The Dread Wolf, Fen'Harel straight up pulling some weapons-grade blood magic gaslighting on poor rook because it suits him.

solas who punishes the evanuris with "an eternity of torment" for killing mythal. and solas who kills mythal. and solas who kills felassan. and solas who kills varric.

solas who has absolutely mastered the art of Do The Bad Thing Now, Hate Myself Later because if he ever stops hurtling towards his end goal at a thousand miles an hour for even a moment, he'll have a chance at realising that he's been a massive fucking hypocrite the entire time.

[v33n4-c4rn1s]

"The odds are ours."

Remy Lebeau x fem!reader

A/n: HERE IT IS!! it got delayed twice but its here!! thank you for all the love, for making this possible. Here's the FINAL part of the main series. To answer your question..no! the series is NOT over! i plan to continue this in little oneshots! tiny extras! now, without further ado! here's the last part! as usual, Angst/Comfort. Enjoy!! <3

Summary: When wade wilson dragged you into the mess you were miserable, mourning and utterly heartbroken but now, after following Wilson and Howlett around for hours, watching them fight you finally get your end of the deal. Seeing a man you thought you'd never see again.

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To say you were pissed was an understatement, you were livid.

You should have stayed. Ran back to the face you’ve been so familiar with for just a few hours. The very face that handed out a clean, fresh start. To forget the pain of the past, to live on with him.

But luck never favoured you. 

..Neither did gravity.

You learned that when your back slammed into a car. The force of it sent white hot pain up your spine and you could barely resist the urge to curl up and scream. First you leave behind a solid connection and now your ribs are broken. Nice.

Wade groans, hoisting himself off the car while Logan just..slumps.

“Holy shit that's deadpool!!”

“And wolverine!!”

..well, at least they don’t recognize you. You're half thankful, half offended.

“You're damn straight it is! Fox killed him. Disney brought him back! They're gonna make him do this till he’s ninety!”

Wade points his finger at Logan. Amusing the children and earning a scoff from the older man. You get a brief meeting of this..Peter guy that Wade has been yapping on about. He seems..sweet. Really sweet. That's a nice change. 

- - - - - - -

You follow the ketchup and mustard pots to the street. Seriously, the pain in your ribs is killing you. You’re almost tempted to ask Logan to carry you..or play dead.

That’s when you see him, the phony bastard. Paradox.

“No! Piss off! You’re too late!” 

He yells at all three of you, waving his arms until Logan snaps at him.

“You’re fuckin’ done.”

“Why was Thor crying!?”

  Wade jumps in, pointing an accusing finger...Well, now you just have to get a word in.

“Why’d you send him to get me!?”

You point to Wade. Seriously..why are you tangled up in this mess?

“How dare you! No one comes back from the void! I didn’t send him to get you! It was his idea!”

Paradox lets out a frustrated little huff. Logan speaks up, interjecting with an almost comedic growl.

“Tell that to Cassandra Nova.”

Oh, right on cue. The beam of orange tears into the empty space. The sound of boots and..it’s the man from before. The one Logan punched real hard. God you just want to see Remy again. 

“Paradox, we have a problem.”

His head twists to the side, A shuddering snap of bones occurs before Cassandra Nova steps out. Tossing the corpse to one side. She speaks, her tone is playful. Like she's bantering with Paradox.

“You tried to kill me.”

You tense up. Just the sight of her makes you feel cold. God, you wish you could just go straight back to Remy. The portal is open. The void is there. You can see it. Hell. Fuck it. 

You move to rush forward, not even paying attention to the conversation ahead..

“Now shoo. Mummy and daddy are having a conversation.”

You’re forced backwards, Flying back alongside Wade and Logan. At Least they’re cushioned by a car. You, on the other hand, smack to the ground with an obvious thud. You don’t have as much strength as you like, You can’t pull through, not like this. Your brain feels fuzzy, your eyelids are heavy and with one last curse from Wade..you fall unconscious.

- - - - - - -

The Fire is warm on your skin. It’s comforting. The familiar scent of burning wood and..Tobacco. Your head rests against the warmth of another body.

You jolt. You don’t even realise someone else is there, neither do you realise your surroundings.

The library. In the mansion. Your home.

You look up. You dread to see what you’ll find. Memories itching to tear from your weary bones. Begging for freedom against the confines of your mind..

But a familiar face stares back. Eyes soft with affection.

“Remy–”

The words die in your throat. You just stare. He takes your hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. Its soft, a gesture you could never scrub from your mind even if you tried.

“Mon amour..”

He coo’s so softly. It’s a sound you’ve missed. Before you can stop yourself. You throw your arms around his neck. WIthout missing a single beat, he wraps his arms around your waist.

“I–I thought– I thought I'd never see you again! How— How is this–”

He stops you, pulling you away just to cup your face. He avoids the question. Instead..he gives you a word of advice.

“You need t’move on Chère. Dis ain’t healthy. Holdin’ onto the past.”

It makes you feel sick. Why is he telling you this? Does he not want you to stay?

“But– I can’t let you go–”

How could you? You’ve loved him for years. Your affection never wavered for him.

“I know dat. Trust me, Gambit knows all dat.”

Despite his instance, you couldn’t. Why? Why would you? He was..everything.

“It ain’t gon’ be easy..but you gotta try– Gambit don’t want you stressin’ for de rest o’ yer life..”

He leaned down, his hands resting on your shoulders. Such a foreign feeling but oh..you missed it.

He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. He pulls away so slowly, like it hurts him to part from you. He’s always been a gentleman, he breaks your heart so softly.

“You deserve good t’ings mon amour..all dat good stuff is gon’ be yours..you just gotta take it.”

The flames in the fire roar. It's sweating hot. Remy seems to panic a little. His brows knit together and he cups your face.

“You’re never gon’ have to carry de burden anymore– everythings gonna go.”

Is it selfish to say you don’t care? It might be. The people, the friends, the history. Gone.

But this place isn’t a home, no without him.

Your Remy. Your Dashing Cajun.

A man who has seen so much but never loves too little.

A fresh, painless start is what you need.

He’ll find you. He always does

- - - - - - -

Your head feels like it's splitting open. God, everything is hurting. Your ribs, your knees, your heart.

Fuck, what the hell happened?

Oh, right..

You sit up, immediately regretting the decision. Pain climbs up your spine, causing you to wince.

“Easy, bub.”

A gravely but surprisingly soft tone comes from the all familiar Logan.

His hand rests on your chest, gently pushing you to lay back down. For a moment, he watches you. Eyes taking inyour trembling form. His hand, still resting on your chest, twitches softly. These hands have spilled so much blood yet they’re so tender on the people he cares for. Hah, lucky you. Sneaking into Logan Howlett’s heart, making him play doctor. There's an authoritative yet parental touch.

He lets you relax before he breathes out a quiet sigh, shaking his head.

“Wade’s playing hero. Said something about a gift to you for all your..hard work.”

You can tell he’s trying not to laugh. A breathy chuckle leaves him as he sits back down in the arm chair.

“How long have i–”

Your voice is..embarrassingly raspy. Seems like it's been out of action for a bit but Logan knows what you're asking him.

“Day and a half at most. You ain’t missed much. We saved his universe and uh..essentially became his roommates. Hah. I see that look. You seriously thought you could get away from ol’ mouth?”

You throw your head back with a groan. Shaking your head. God, first you lose your home and you’re already checking in to a new one? It’s happening way too fast for you to even–

“You think I still have that spare mattress? I can’t remember if i tossed it out yesterday or–”

Wade, completely geared out in costume, casually struts out of that blazing orange portal with..

Remy. 

The Remy you met in that dump–

He’s battered, for sure. A nasty cut lines his cheek and his nose is coated in more of the sticky red liquid. He’s limping. Straining to get inside without toppling over. His usual charm seems to be tossed out the window as he coughs into his fist, shoulders trembling.

“Oh there’s our sleeping beauty! Hi sweetie! Did you have a nice coma? Look what your buddy Wade got ya– and he’s all yours! We can sort out a collar tomorrow–”

He’s obviously making it sound like Remy’s some kind of dog– leashed and collared and to be honest? He might as well be. Look at those puppy dog eyes.

“Chère..”

He breathes out so softly. For a moment..it’s like you’ve known him your whole life. Wade backs up and grabs Logan’s arm. Muttering about needing to “find the mattress.”

You rush forwards, stumbling slightly and without thinking you crash against the Cajun’s chest. It’s so warm, so comforting. A breath of fresh air after the polluted heartbreak. He caves immediately. He wraps his arms around you, cradling your head against his chest.

“There's my girl..”

He speaks so softly, like you’ll shatter under his touch. You know you're crying. Pitiful cries slip past and he hushes you softly like he did that night in the hideout. It breaks his heart to see more tears but he knows it's out of relief. 

There's no need for words, not when he swoops down to cup your jaw, tilting your head up to pepper your forehead in featherlite kisses. 

He came from nothing. Living off the scraps of garbage and the skills he had. You, a version of you, changed his life for the better. He lost you once before and now he’s never losing you again. This is the start of the best new leaf anyone could wish for. Some call it relighting old flames, but is it really an old flame if it never burnt out?

You look up at him, meeting his gaze. Something clicks in your head the minute he leans in closer..

He pauses, he's a breath away from taking your own but he waits..he needs to know you're ready. It doesn’t matter if it takes years. He’d wait a thousand years if it meant he got to return to your loving arms.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait any longer. You meet him in the middle.

His lips are incredibly soft against your own, he tastes like liquor..it's no surprise or a shock. You already knew the taste. It was seared into your mind for good.

He outright groans in satisfaction. You can tell he’s overjoyed by the way he fumbles. He’s not sure where to hold you. It's cute, his hands try to find purchase anywhere they can. They settle on your waist before his arms decide to wrap around you, pulling you in deeper.

He’s breathless when you pull back. Cheeks flushed such a pretty pink. The tips of his ears are red. His brows furrow before he noses your cheek lovingly and presses his forehead to yours.

This is exactly where he wants to be.

He lets out a breathy sigh once more, his gaze meets yours.

“Might need to start hopin’ through portals some more if I get welcomed like dis..”

He laughs softly when you hit his shoulder gently. He pecks your nose in response, squeezing your hips.

“Ah, Behave chère, Remy’s only teasin’..”

Such a fool, but he’s claimed himself as your fool. 

The odds have always been in his favour. And this time, they brought him home.

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Taglist: @techs-stitches @kaidan-z @tetra-stark @aisling1985 @trinswhimsys

Thank you all so much! i love you all SO MUCH!! <3

[yandere-daydreams]

lore heavy porn for malleus [?]... thank u mother for providing us with the food...

(also i need to kill ai with my bare hands. to feel the absence of life's simulacrum in its void of a body. i hate it with passion. what do you mean you asked ai to write a story for you. what's next. asking it to fuck your wife for you? seeing this within FANDOM and UNIVERSITY, institutions geared toward receiving knowledge, devastates me.)

malleus has still not been seen on this blog in some time unfortunately, but i needed to voice my support for the second half of this ask. i see people talk about writing books (like,,, not even fics,,, just straight up books they'd like to get published) with ai because ""writing's just so hhhhaaarrrrrddddd for me you guys"" and i want to claw my lungs out of my chest. what do you think it's like for the rest of us. who told you this was supposed to be easy. why did you believe them. what is it like to go through life with the singular goal of never having to put even a little effort into anything you've ever done or anything you ever will do. you are the graveyard where art and humanity goes to die. biting you biting you biting you biting you.

[jovieinramshackle]

I always try to not be shy about the fact Pio does not pass as a man at all, and that he is in a situation where he cannot take the steps to do so (medically transitioning basically)— not just financially, but mentally too.

He hates his chest, his private parts and the fact they cause hin extreme dysphoria once a month from his period, his voice is audibly feminine, he even has very "soft feminine" features, he is often mistaken for a butch woman and misgendered a lot (he's also very anxious about correcting people, since he's afraid of how they'll react).

And I feel it's important from me to showcase these features, because they’re part of a realty many transmasc/guys/men like me go through.

The thing about Pio is that he has an extremely hard time believing he's a "real man". Almost everything in his life is an active reminder that society does not see him as a man, and he has internalised it. He is happy the people close to him (his father, Chris and his family) confirm they see him as a man, but he has a hard time genuinely believing they actually do, because he can't possibly say the same about himself.

He's on the verge of giving up sometimes, to detransition, to go back being [REDACTED] and be a woman again. He thinks it will make life easier. After all, it'll be easier to socialise, talk to people, and even find a partner. Pio is gay after all, but what gay man would love a "woman," right? Straight men must be his only option, right?

But it won't be easier, it will outright kill.

And this is why his relationship with Fellow is so crucial to him. For all his faults, the fox did one very important thing right in the relationship— love Pio for the man that he is.

Fellow didn't always have the right words, but he knew words weren't really gonna help such a dysphoric person like Pio. The constant and consistent love and support over time was what made Pio realise how genuine Fellow was with him.

Intimacy felt less uncomfortable, it actually became enjoyable. He could actually bare his features, even if a little. He actually grow to like his voice a little, even if he's fine with it changing. Everything just became a little easier when he was with Fellow, he could actually see himself as desirable, to an other queer man no less.

He began thinking that perhaps he is a man, regardless of everything. This reduction of his dysphoria was what made him more motivated to seek medical transition later one, as he finally could think to himself, "this isn't pointless." He realised nothing can stop him from being the man that he is.

Even after their falling out during their work in Playful Land, Pio still had this drive in him. He went back to his father and started working, slowly saving up to seek a way to get his hands on HRT. And although he has a long way to go, he is for once finally determined to do what he must do for his well being.

He kinda spiralled for a while because of the falling out. He even began relying on alcohol for a bit. But this new profound drive carried him every day and kept him alive.

So basically, as angry as he is with Fellow, he will always be grateful for all the genuine love and desire he was given. It, quite literally, saved his life.

So yeah ofc they make up in the end, what did you expect, to not give them a happy ending? Poser./j

@sunnysidesevenup @theolivetree123 tagging you two cuz...Pio Lore....heh....<3

tag list : @ramshacklerumble @thehollowwriter @summerspook @scint1llat3 @skriblee-ksk

@cyanide-latte @twistedwonderlandshenanigans @oya-oya-okay @viperbunnies @jadelover69

@twsted-void @lallopsyou (lmk/dm if you wanna be added)

[microwavesaferat]

Pov: going delusional cause you can now tie in regular hermitcraft into your Life Series AU TMA AU.

So y'all know by now that The Web contains my favourite blorbos, Scar and Mumbo. I think they both offer up so much in terms of lore, Scar plays into that character of the salesman and the fool whilst being conniving and really quite smart. Mumbo has the vibes of a put-together, smart guy who is actually at the whims of a universe that treats him like a slightly deflated football.

So both Web aligned, Scar fully aware and utilises this ability. Scar is also Lonely aligned, if anyone asks, he's only Lonely aligned. Oh the spiders he keeps around? They stop flies and he just can't bring himself to kill them, no big deal. I most closely relate flower crab spiders to him. If you don't know what they look like, they can change colour to blend in, have strong front legs and weak back legs, and generally hide in flowers (sunflowers). I will include an image under the cut, so ⚠️ trigger warning for spiders ⚠️

They ambush prey rather than making webs. The assumption is that a spider will make a web and catch food there, not in a flower. The same way the assumption is that Scar is clueless, wanting to make a quick buck with the snake oil salesman routine and doesn't have any plans, no sir! Also, sunflowers.

Mumbo on the other hand, he's not aware he's web aligned. His hair is going grey, he thinks, I mean, the hair is a weird, almost sticky texture, and is not nearly as thick as his normal hair. (Basically, after Grian hit him on the noggin with a mace, the mother of Puppets has been mending her toy the only way she knows how, knitting!)

The spider I closely relate with him is a cellar spider. This is one of the spiders also referred to as a daddy long legs (which just fits the general vibe). There's also a lot of similar behaviour that led me to this rather than the more commonly known harvestman spider. One is that cellar spiders, when threatened, rather than attack or flee, just start to vibrate. They just shake and hope you go away. If they're really threatened they'll kind of move around in a circle (if you watched any video with Mumbo in it, you know that man cannot stand still). Basically they don't do anything threatening, they occasionally catch prey that enters the web (someone just wandering past the spiders web in wild life) or play dead and nab the spider that goes for them (zombie mumbo being wayyyy more hostile as a corpse).

This sounds like I'm being mean to Mumbo, but in this au, he is not aware that the Mother of Puppets chose him, he is trying his best, but she pulls the string around here. A little nudge here and there, a little pull to the left just into that fence post, a little shove into the path of that tnt minecart. Just enough to keep her entertained. Mumbo is in complete denial of his arachnid-like tendencies. he just can't bring himself to kill the spiders, he says, he just got tangled up in these redstone lines, it's not a web, just really quite simple, they grey suits him actually (he's frightened of what's underneath). Everyone else assumes he knows, you know what it's like talking to a spider, never get a straight answer!

Grian knows. To be fair, Grian Knows everything. Scar is aware as well, but the Puppet master won't allow him to tell, that would be ruining her fun!

[soularsss]

ahhh AHHHHH OH MY GODDDD OH MY SKELE CREW SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT AAAAAAHHHHGGH

Okay I know alot of people have been rooting for him to turn around this episode and save the kids but kind of am really enjoying the very real real Pirate vibes that Jod is giving us?? Like im kinda mad that he BEHEADED SM33 but thats mainly because I loved that character, not because I wanted Jod not to hurt anyone. Im interested to see what happens in the finale because Jude did say we will learn about his backstory, but I actually enjoyed the rather straight-forward and downright dirty decisions Jod made in the episode?

I cant lie to you guys I was rooting for my evil pirate husband to well.. do some less than good things.. you guys know one of my all time favorite characters is Maul right... i think its always really fun to have some sort of tragic villain/antagonist story and I am hoping with his backstory reveals we get to see him lean more into that :0

Obviously, with the writers talks about possible season 2 happenings, i would love it if Jod could turn himself around *enough* not not get killed and then be in season 2 if that gets greenlit!!!

Guys.. guys.. I just really love my piratefailure evilguy.. hes an evil bastard and i just kind of fuck with him okay HES COOOL UGH IM SO HAPPY HE LIT THE LIGHTSABER THIS EPISODEEEEEEEEE (i am sad about who he used it on..) but i am so happy we got to see it, and I think its interesting seeing how he holds himself with it, i think he holds the blade relatively far from himself and i dont know- to me it seems like the sort of stance a guy would use if he didnt have any proper training? obviously he is force sensitive so I reckon that lends itself to not chopping off your own fingers but not much more lol.. im yapping.. im yapping...

i really did enjoy some bad bad pirate action oh i love some skulduggery and dubious behaviour. what a grimey little rat HEHEHEHE

I think Jude had some awesome line delivery again in this episode and I loved the little comedic moments among his evilness.

I also wanted to point out the gentle hurrying of snowball, the sort of fond look on his face when he realized the kids were coming in, and to me there was definitely somethinggg hesitant.. each time he saw them and their parents.. guys.. i dont think hes alllllllllll bad... maybe a little bit of good is buried somewhere deep

i wouldnt be opposed to a redemption arc where they try and dredge that little bit of good up :,)

also ALSO ALSO!!!!!!!!! THE KIDS performances were amazing this episode!!! Fern really stood out to me, you can tell she wants to stand up to him but he was just so clearly in complete control and it was crushing her!!!!! Seeing Wim lose his whimsy made me really bummed :(( and omg omg.. The little interaction between KB and Jod when she says the signal is jammed.. he has a soft spot i am telling youuuuuu

[voxofthevoid]

Yo, it's Demon/Hunter Horror Wednesday #16—first WIP Wednesday of the year, technically, since the last week ended up being excerpt games.

I still don't have any straight-up porn to post (only two such scenes left in the whole fic, and the next two chapters should cover those), but I did write two interlinked scenes featuring Yuuji, Gojou, and Tōji that should be entertaining on their own—and maybe tease some of the missing context 👀

“So he did come,” Satoru murmurs. “We have a guest, Yuuji.”

Yuuji drags his mind to the present—and the man lounging on Satoru’s front steps. “Tōji-san?”

A lazy wave. “Yo. Playing favorites, Six Eyes?”

“H-huh?”

“Not you, kid.”

“Nothing of the sort,” Satoru says pleasantly. “I’m perfectly willing to involve Megumi. Are you?”

Tōji continues to stare up at them, his eyes narrow slits despite the angle. When Yuuji looks at Satoru, he finds a bland smile that gives nothing away.

“Involve Fushiguro in what?” Yuuji asks. “Guys?”

“Training.” Satoru’s the one who replies, and it’s the same tone as before but…different somehow. “Tōji here would make a better teacher for you than for Megumi, but I’m far more versatile. There’s a lot I could teach your cute little son—isn’t that right, Papa-san?”

“Don’t push it, you little shit.”

Satoru’s grin widens unsettlingly. “Is that a no?”

“You know damn well you’re not touching that brat for three more years. Or did you get fucked so hard you forgot to count?”

Heat rushes to Yuuji’s face, but Satoru only laughs.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he says.

“What the hell is going on?” Yuuji grits out.

Two pairs of unfairly intense eyes snap to him. Yuuji holds Tōji’s gaze and ignores Satoru’s. Both these men are intimidating, but Yuuji’s been surviving Sukuna and his freakshow for fucking months.

“Heh.” Tōji stands up—and up and up, unfolding his entire immense bulk. He finishes it off with a leisurely stretch of his arms above his head; the fabric around his biceps cries for help. “At least you’ll be more fun than all this grunt work. Don’t disappoint me too much, pinkie.”

“Careful,” Satoru chimes in. His hand comes to rest on Yuuji’s shoulder, the touch light but the weight heavy. “You’re not allowed to break Yuuji.”

“How stupid do you think I am?”

“Stupid?” Satoru tilts his head, the movement oddly liquid. “Not at all. You do, however, have a track record of trying to kill hapless teenagers.”

Tōji snorts. “Hapless my ass. You and your dead boyfriend were monsters.”

Satoru’s hand flexes on Yuuji’s shoulder, tightening briefly before relaxing with a deliberation that makes Yuuji’s own knuckles ache. “Takes one to know one.”

“Sure does.” Tōji’s eyes sweep back to Yuuji. “Let’s see where you fall on the spectrum. Training wheels are off, kiddo. You’re playing with the big boys now.”

“Uh…” Yuuji looks between the two of them; Satoru’s smile tells him as much as Tōji’s sneer does—absolutely nothing. “I have no idea what you two are talking about.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll do fine. Tōji’s here to train your body. I’ll take over later to hone your spiritual senses. Ideally, I’d do both, but I have a demon to corral—and you two get along well enough. Still, don’t let him bully you, Yuuji.”

“You’re one to talk,” Tōji drawls. “The kid looks like he’d crawl out of his skin to get away from you.”

Yuuji freezes.

At his side, Satoru does too. Then the hand on Yuuji’s shoulder falls away.

Yuuji doesn’t miss it; he doesn’t.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Satoru says blandly, stepping back and out of Yuuji’s peripheral vision. “Yuuji has a key. I’ll be back before nightfall.”

There’s a soft, strange noise—displaced air, with an electric crackle. Yuuji’s heard it exactly once before, in that deserted road in front of Sukuna’s church a second before Satoru showed him it wasn’t so deserted after all.

When he turns around, Satoru’s gone.

“Idiot,” Tōji scoffs behind him. “Come on, pinkie. Let’s beat you into shape.”

-

The spar with Tōji ends very predictably.

There was a moment there at the start when Yuuji thought he might be able to put up a better fight. Sukuna is a lot more formidable than the high school bullies and yakuza wannabes who had been the extent of Yuuji’s fighting experience the last time he’d tangled with Tōji, and Yuuji’s never once won against Sukuna either, but he’s learned a lot.

He’s changed, in ways he can sometimes feel like stains in his soul.

But one second was all it took for Yuuji to realize just how much Tōji had been holding back the first and no-longer-only time they’d done this, and then he was getting real closely acquainted with the bark of a tree.

That first and no-longer-only fight feels like a joke now. It must have felt like one to Tōji. And it’s not like Yuuji had walked away from that either, but he’d felt all warm about Tōji’s appraisal afterward, and there’d been a fun thrill to the way Fushiguro had looked at him, his expression grudgingly impressed despite how he’d warned Yuuji away from his dad’s antics.

What just happened feels more like utter slaughter. Yuuji’s bones are unbroken and there are no holes in his body, but even the worst Sukuna had done to him hadn’t been so one-sided.

A pair of feet enter his peripheral vision.

Tōji’s dark eyes peer down at him. His expression is…no different than what he wears when he greets Yuuji at the door. Boredom, mostly, but with an edge to it that warrants straightened spines and ready hands.

He says, “You fight differently.”

Yuuji tries to ask a question, but all that comes out is a weak croak.

Tōji lets out an amused huff and raises a hand. It’s clutching a bottle of water. When did he—

“Ack—” Yuuji gasps and sputters as the water is poured onto his hot, swollen face, and some of it goes inside, soothing his throat almost by accident. It’s a miracle none of it ends up in his windpipe. “Tōji-san! Cut it out!”

“Look at that, you’re alive,” Tōji drawls, but the stream of water cuts off. “Just watering you. Hydration is important.”

Yuuji glares up at him. “I’m not a plant.”

“You’re about as useless as one right now.” Tōji crouches down, and Yuuji tries to brace himself, an instinct violently obtained in the last handful of minutes, but those hands don’t reach for him with the intent to hurt, just dangle between Tōji’s spread legs while he surveys Yuuji with unreadable eyes. “Eh, I guess you’ll do.”

“What did you mean?” Yuuji asks, blinking hard to make his eyes stop stinging from the water assault. The cuts all over his face and neck burn, but that’s easy enough to ignore. The rest of his body feels like one big bruise. “How am I fighting differently?”

“You’ve learned what real pain feels like.” Tōji’s voice is low, his eyes unblinking. “And it doesn’t bother you much. It shows. It always does.”

“…Oh.”

“Don’t let it get to your head. You’ve still got a ways to go.” Tōji cracks his neck, veins bulging along the thick column of it. “At least training you won’t be a total waste.”

Yuuji bites his lip, reminded of something he’d thought of in scattered bursts in the couple of minutes between Satoru leaving and Tōji laying into him. “Tōji-san, is it really alright to leave Fushiguro out of this?”

“Out of what? This ain’t some super cool club, pinkie. You’re here to get beaten up till you’re a little less likely to shit yourself and die if one of those fuckers that go bump in the night looks at you wrong. What, you want company in your misery?”

“No, that’s not—” Yuuji takes a deep breath, trying to figure out what he does want to say. “It’s nothing like that. I’m just worried. Sukuna knows him, he’s—sorry, it’s my fault, I should’ve—”

“Can it.” Tōji pulls a face, blowing out an explosive breath. “Kids these days. You didn’t do shit. This is just the ugly, festering face of reality. Most people just can’t see it. Sometimes, they’re lucky for it. Sometimes, they’re just dumb cattle. That’s the way it is.”

Yuuji can’t help thinking of what Satoru said yesterday about monsters and people—about food and feasting.

“Won’t he be safer,” he asks quietly, “if he can protect himself better?”

Tōji blinks, a languid motion that leaves his eyes heavy-lidded. “Is that what you think he’s doing with you?”

“H-huh?”

“Gojou,” Tōji clarifies, except it doesn’t explain anything at all.

“I don’t—”

“Make no mistake, kid—this is a farce. I don’t know why he’s bothering. I can guess, but I don’t really give a fuck. Just take what you’re given and hope you’ll live long enough to use it. It won’t be here. It won’t even be this year. I know too well what it takes to make a hunter worth the air they waste.” The base of the plastic bottle, still heavy with water, is brought to rest against Yuuji’s stomach. It taps idly, once. Then it presses unerringly into a bruise, and Yuuji’s left breathing slow and soft past the burst of pain. “At least you’ve got a good body. You even know how to use it. It’s still not enough. Megumi? He’d need to eat the thing in the church to even taste his own damn power. Now call that a fucking birthright.”

Yuuji swallows, tasting blood, and that’s just the cut inside his mouth from when a punch shoved his flesh against his own canine, but the undertone of rot is something else, isn’t it?

“Tōji-san…”

“You’re just brats who’d be useless in this fight.” Tōji rises to his feet in one fluid motion, turning away from Yuuji. “So stay brats.”

Yuuji breathlessly watches him take a few steps toward the open back door of Gojou’s house.

Then— “Satoru said you tried to kill him.”

Tōji pauses, doesn’t look back. “Sure did.”

And Yuuji’s not surprised, not really. He heard what these two said. But it was a lot, and he still doesn’t know what to feel about hapless teenagers and dead boyfriends and monsters.

He can still see the shape of a story; it’s not a good one.

“Was he my age then?”

“Who knows.”

“He was still young.”

“He was a brat too, if that’s what you’re getting at. Should’ve been an easy kill. Would’ve saved us all some trouble if I’d finished the damn job.” Tōji sticks a finger in his ear, giving it a violent shake. “Whatever. This pays better.”

[gale-gentlepenguin]

So my friend @knightsweeties has been getting me to think about DC lately. And one of the things I’ve been doing what my take would be on some of the heroes and villains. At the time we have only talked about Gotham.

So I wanted to share my Take on one of DC’s greatest Villains, The Joker

Gale Cut: The Joker

What would I do differently with the Joker?

I think the biggest problem with the joker is that DC seems to forget what the Joker is. He isn’t just some chaos loving guy dressed as a clown. No, he is a Clown that wants to make fun of society! Everything he does is for the sake of the bit! That’s what the joker is, a clown committed to the bit in an insane degree.

All his plans need to revolve around a joke, and if the joke isn’t funny, he won’t do it.

Now for example. Joker could be reading the newspaper and see how the cost of fuel has gone up.

So what does he do? He fills the entire street with Whoopee cushions because he wanted to show Gotham has a real “Gas Problem”

Or

Maybe he runs into a renown surgeon and decides to cut his limbs off and reattach them so he can have him “In stitches”

Or maybe Gotham is having a lobster festival. So Joker decides to light the coast line on fire. To help bring things to… A boil.

The point is Joker only wants to make jokes and do what’s funny to him.

Is he still psychotic and kills people? Absolutely, but only if he thinks it’s funny.

Joker will never do something if he doesn’t find it amusing. Thats the point. He only cares about the comedy of the situation.

And before anyone says this joker is soft. He is not.

He kidnapped orphans and injected them with joker venom. His joke was that “You can’t kidnap unwanted children. What I did was adoption.”

He then proceeded to blow up the orphanage with most of the staff inside and send the jokerized kids to every school in Gotham to show how the school system was “The real joke.”

————-

Now for his relationship with Harley.

Oh it’s still toxic but very different.

Joker didn’t manipulate her with some sob story.

Joker simply made her laugh. He could tell that deep down that she needed someone that got her humor. And as someone that appreciates a good sense of Humor, joker recruited Harley.

Though instead of a toxic domestic abusive relationship, I decided to go a different direction.

Joker doesn’t understand emotions, and thus Doesn’t get that Harley is in love with him. If she ever confessed to him, he would look confused and ask what the punchline is?

To Joker, Harley is someone that can provide feedback if a joke is funny. And if she likes the joke. More of a reason to do it. Because if someone else finds the joke funny, that’s even better!

Though Joker isn’t above slapstick if Harley messes up his plans. But it’s never a portrayal of abuse in the domestic abuse sense. More like him slapping her with a trout.

To Harley, Joker is someone that showed her the truth. Society is a joke, and all it needs are people to show the people the punchline.

Now if something were to happen to Harley or if Harley stopped getting the joke. Joker would shrug and move on. He does value her insight and her opinion, but to say it is genuine care is incorrect. If it means a funny enough gag. He’d kill her without hesitation.

—————-

Joker being in love with Batman is dumb to me. He’s also not Batman’s true opposite. So for their dynamic I actually did change it.

Joker sees Batman as the funniest Joke in Gotham. A grown man dressed as a bat fighting crime in a city more corrupt than anywhere else? That’s pure comedy.

Joker even asked Batman to team up with him early on. “You’re a bat, I’ve been driven bats. We’d be a great comedy duo!”

But what joker found out was that Batman has no sense of humor. He needs to make this man laugh!

Joker views Batman as the straight man in the comedy routine. Having him react is what he wants!

Batman sees Joker as insane, and in need of help. So despite everything, believes there is still someone that can be saved.

Joker doesn’t care about Batman’s identity. It would be like finding out the punchline to a joke without the set up. And if anyone tried to spoil it. He would kill them.

Now Joker is willing to kill Batman, but only if the way he kills him would be funny enough to justify killing him. Joker only cares about what’s funnier

————

What’s Joker’s backstory?

It doesn’t matter. And joker likes it that way. All he knows is that he had one REALLY bad day. And that’s all he needs to know.

Anything else would be unnecessary.

[adlersbitchboy]

Never apologizing for ranting. I 100% agree. I got the achievement too first try and I always play cod campaigns on recruit first so I can get most of the story and then as I play like harder difficulties I notice more little things. I love all the references to each game that timeline wise come before it.

I agree that Adler should not be allowed out in public because even in cold war when he's "more tame" he's still psychotic. I love him but he terrifies me lowkey. Also who let that man go to Iraq alone after the doctor guy? We should be glad the doctor wasn't there and he had to get Sims involved otherwise he would've just come back to the safe house like "here's the info I got... by the way I killed the doctor" and w the player would have to sit there and be like "what the fuck Adler? What if he could've helped us more?" Also I love how they made Adler the slowest character in the desert mission. I kept looking back and he would be all the way back just coming over a dune after I'm on the next one already. He's got them bad knees and back I guess. Also during my playthrough on the mission with Sims, Adler went up to one of the shotgun enemies and got blasted in the face by the Marine SP. Like straight in the face. And then looked at me like I did it. Like I didn't tell you to follow me, ya twink. (Sorry I can talk about this man for hours)

I also loved the scene with Felix cooking because it was one of many scenes that made the characters feel so much more real. It gave the player a feeling of connection and it shows the differences with how different Adler acts around people he trusts vs how he acted around Bell in Cold War... even if he did get more psychotic and paranoid.

BLACK OPS 6 SPOILERS

I finished BO6 and I was not expecting it to be THAT good. Like the final mission reminded me of BO3 BUT 10 TIMES BETTER. I mean did I hate the cliffhanger that is probably gonna make me watch warzone shit on YouTube? Yes. However I loved the gameplay and creativity the game brought to the table. I love the little touches in each characters room and Woods little cot set up by the evidence board. When i first saw the picture of Woods and Mason I almost started crying. Like that poor man has been through so much.

Also the end missions? Why did Adler just have MKUltra drugs lying around? Someone needs to like keep an eye on this psycho.

There was literally one mission where he disappeared and I started freaking out because I though Adler was off committing the most heinous war crimes ever. Like why did no one else besides Sims care about how psycho he was?

Speaking of Sims, that mission was so much fun.

I'm definitely gonna replay the fuck out of this game. I'm gonna treat it like I treated cold war and replay it til I beat it on Realism mode or whatever... which shouldn't take too long. I also have to go back and get all the achievements.

Also with the whole framing Adler thing... who really thought he wouldn't find away to fight the allegations?