#like :) I just wanted that 2:45 that’s all
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butchdiaz · 2 days ago
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tagged by @iinryer to do a 2024 fic roundup but i'm adding my videos in too because. uh. its fun to look back! and i want to!
MARCH
american teenager (36s)
my first ever commission! for my best friend bia! to this day i hear do what you want (do more!) everytime i listen to this song.
APRIL
arms (1:02)
this was for seti. and it hurt.
good luck babe! (1:11)
literally never felt euphoria the same since the week of bi buck when i made this. changed the timeline. (although i was so euphoric and excited to post that i cropped in a rush and left a little white line in one of the shots and it pisses me off massively to this day. yes im a virgo thanks for asking)
to open up my arms and give it all to you (2.5k)
my little buck coming out to chris fic with hints of buddie <3 bi buck got me writing again after months of literal Nothing. god bless
one of your girls (3:09)
kirby's vision went OFF. so proud of this one like. its gotta be one of my favs and i feel like it became a bit of a butchdiaz classic which makes me so happy :D
MAY
kill her freak out (1:33)
this video is my little baby. ohhh samia. ouaagh eddie.
scared of my guitar (2:23)
shoutout to the way the dialogue syncs up in this one. rly satisfying to me hehehe. honestly didn't think i'd like this one as much as i do but she hits hard
promise (1:15)
love when people commission me to edit songs im already currently obsessing over yay!!!!!
JUNE
happy to be here (2:16)
julien baker. eddie diaz. aka abby had a mental breakdown making this one.
closed hands, full of friends (45s)
this was my first time editing a song i had Never heard beforehand! 3 cheers for finding new music!!
JULY
l'amour de ma vie (3:26)
ok not to toot my own horn but. this one is good. i feel like i really told a story u know. and about now is when i started to play around with fun/more intricate text ooh ooooh
a burning hill (1:01)
this prompt was designed in a lab to kill me specifically. i wanted to do the whole song originally but i like. could not go on.
my ego dies at the end (2:49)
i reallyyyy like this one. long edits my beloved! i love to build to something. i rewatch this one often tbh. jensen mcrae is everythinggg
AUGUST
north star (2:16)
again, had never heard this song b4 i got this prompt and it got me obsessed with this searows album. this edit makes me feel all soft. rly loved incorporating fleabag into it bc like. fleabag for life. shoutout summerofbuddie for the inspo
feels like (58s)
this song has been on my buddie playlist(s) forever so i was So excited to get this prompt. it was so fun to make something. not depressing and just like. fluffy. fun fact i hand drew all the hearts for this in ps and they were such a pain to work with but i really love how it turned out cause i'd never done anything like that before :')
pink balloon (2:29)
finally made a proper buck amv. after so many eddie ones it was actually nice to switch it up. felt re-inspired! also always so inspired by samia ugh. i am an eddiegirl literally to my bones tho so this was both v hard and v fun to make.
SEPTEMBER
"i want a divorce" / "it was a date" (2:19)
the buckshannon parallels ouuugughhh. this was one of those ones that haunted me so persistently i literally was forced to make it. saw hanna's post and then blacked out and i was posting this.
had a feeling i could be someone (3k)
+
leave tonight or live and die this way (1.1k)
dyke buddie!!!!!!!! these fics are sooooo near and dear to my heart. i love to make everyone wlw! i love to project my butchness onto my fav characters! wrote these so fast (for me) like writing has Never flown out of me like that. i was possessed by the spirit of lesbianism. and. GOD. the response to these fics also makes me want to cry daily. the beautiful art that was created?????? for me and my little fic?????????? i actually can't believe it i love you guys so much. lesbians forever and ever and ever.
did it to myself (1:11)
another one of my favs. i think it slaps so hard tbh. i tried a lot of new stuff and it was so FUN. orla's music is so much fun to edit to i need to do another one of her songs asap.
afraid of heights (2:46)
boygenius wrote this for my friend buck buckley. got entirely consumed by this one. thank u han for being my buckafraidofheights warrior for life <3
headlock (2:23)
i love buck but i remember coming back to making an eddie amv and breathing a sigh of relief. i just Get him. its so easy. this one's underrated i think oop it kinda slaps
OCTOBER
savior complex (3:16)
this one was a rly good challenge and idek why. super happy with how it turned out though i like watching it back
NOVEMBER
funeral bell (2:54)
the buck thesis statement. to me. and such a crazy unique process. loved working w kaitlin on this one and sending her 10 million drafts (she rly got a behind the scenes tour yall and it was not pretty). this was an absolute BEAST to make despite it not even being that complicated. i think i just cared so much about making it perfect for my dear friend who trusted me with her visions and inspiration and that made it all the more special!
you get your dreams for free (14.8k)
drunk cuddling!!!!!!!! my longest fic i've posted to date and i fully thought i was never gonna finish it. i abandoned this last YEAR but im SO glad i came back to it and most of the reason for that is because of the absolutely lovely responses to my earlier fics this year <3 literally hilarious to me that i originally wanted to post this on halloween 2023. abby. abby no.
surrender my heart! (1:30)
post-confessions euphoria + a carly rae jepsen prompt? i was literally in heaven. SURRENDER UR HEART EDDIEEEEEEEEE
DECEMBER
every place leads back to your place (2.1k)
music inspires me soooo much (looks up at this post. no way right.) so i absolutely loved writing based off a song! and a chappell song nonetheless!! so fun to twist a breakup song around to fit Them. i particularly love the kiss in this one <3
oldie's station (3:17)
phew we're almost there! this one is recent but lowkey it feels like another classic to me already. i really really like it. making it felt like cooking a three course meal and watching it kinda feels like eating one :D (thank god) (i spent so many hours in that kitchen)
letter to god (1974) (2:27)
+
letter to god (1983) (1:52)
putting these together bc they are sister songs and sister videos. first time in my life i've worked on two videos at once. it was fun because they kind of grew together and influenced each other very directly. not fun because i ran out of space and my laptop crashed. several times. these felt rly indulgent and raw. kind of shocking to me how perfect both songs feel for both of them. had a lot of fun messing with the voice/video filters to try and place these in their respective eras bc im obsessed with that aspect of the songs. halsey's artistry is crazy yall if u havent listened to her newest album GO. NOW.
the rush of slumber party kissing (3.2k)
posted this literally yesterday lol. also my first time writing smut. somehow. scary! but i did giggle all the way through writing this tbh. when buddie reveal their true nature as silly teenage girls >>>>>>>>>>
SPECIAL SHOUTOUT
fleabag au wip, who saw the light of day again this year. she could be finished in six months or six more years, but she Will be finished. im determined!
<3
ok if u read all that uh. wow congrats fhdhhdh im gonna get sappy for JUST A SEC now cause uh. im actually blown away by the support and love and appreciation this fandom has shown me this past year. you guys have given me so much confidence in my skills as both an editor and a writer and you also quite literally helped me pay my rent. by making videos about gay firefighters. its actually kind of mind blowing to me how lucky i am and i never want to take that for granted <3
to anyone who has commissioned me, or sent me a prompt, or left a comment on a fic, or a tag on a video, or sent me a kind ask, or subscribed to me, or followed me, or reblogged anything of mine this year: thank you.
im so grateful for this little community and all the friends and connections i have made through our collective insanity over a procedural drama on abc (neé fox). yall rock so hard.
<3
tagging @userbuddie @chronicowboy @confessionseddie @try-set-me-on-fire @userautumn @lovelettered @exhuastedpigeon @sibylsleaves @saryasy @team-118 @lemmeaskthedevil @eddiebabygirldiaz if u wanna do any sort of yearly roundup!
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ahappydnp · 3 days ago
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philm club rewatch #1
phil 7/21/12
detailed timestamp notes below the cut but my overall summary thoughts are
you could tell phil was still getting into the groove of liveshows so it's a little awkward and slow going in the first 15 minutes are so with lots of shoutouts and showing the camera random things. liveshows got sooo much better after just a year or so it's fascinating to watch them getting comfortable
mind boggling to think back to a time they were willing to show up to fan meetups and then made a point to state publicly why they weren't there AND share their location so openly constantly (obviously they were about to move but STILL they showed the outside of their flat So Much back then)
the juxtaposition of how naturally comfortable they were with each other (stealing hats, sharing food, having their little jokes and songs) vs. them remembering the chat and having to recalibrate (i don't want to procreate with you)
i'm gonna be sooooo real i still spent the entire hour kicking my legs and twirling my hair and having to pause to compose myself because that's my phil like that was my guy and it brought back all those giddy feelings :3
i love them both so dearly and i love that era despite the bad rep it gets in fandom now because it was also so exciting and new but they were growing up together and taking on the world like 2012 WAS dnp vs. the world and dnp won <3333
0:28- agrees to marry a girl and a boy
1:38- final broadcast from manchester!! moving to london
2:40- stressed bc logistics for moving (he’s trying to be a grown up). interesting that he is taking the reigns on coordinating and not dan 
6:27- PIGEON NOISE MY BELOVED
8:50- phil refers to processed ingredients as “skanky stuff”. sure. 
11:59- he's gonna put lion in his backpack during the move 😭😭 he doesn’t want to lose him
15:01- dan jumpscare popping into defending phil for not showing up to a meet up 
16:21- dan gives him an A star….girl
21:30- american phil i haaaaate it i hate it i hate it
21:57- “everyone just says awkward for everything now” okay this but now everyone says “help??” in the replies of every tweet WHAT DOES IT MEAN???
22:35- cornelia playing harpsichord at phil’s parents 
24:42- phil attempts a guest broadcast with a fan and he’s being so cute despite the horrors
28:42- they’re going to see muse again 😭😭 
30ish- fanfiction segment i love his brain
33:55- dan gets caught playing gw2 and not packing asdfghjl. omg their apartment is a mess they stress me out 
34:39- the way they used to show off their exact locations was truly a time like girl internet safety!!
35:21- he still wants to call his children jack and emily (cuts quickly to mo and slyvester lester joke and i won’t think too hard about what that means with this also being the era of dan being SO deadset on having 2 or 3 children like god they were just babies with dreams)
37:14- phil thinks max the guest is australian and has The Biggest Grin phil you slag ilysm and now he’s promoting him hard lmao
39:57- drawing game. he went too fast i couldn’t keep up so i stopped. unfortunate slur from the chat. 
44:38- had to check his tumblr archive to see the kstew gif he mentioned and found a mv a fan did of the manchester flat to i will always love you phil reblogged (phannies never change)
45:27- sneak peak of the “new” apartment WHAT IF I SOBBED!!!! the first london flat…god they had no idea what’s coming and all the things that will happen in that house ;___; living with danisnotonfire who is through that wall and Not Packing (married babies)
46:24- NEW I LOVE YOU FOR THE ILY SPREASHEET FUCK YEAH!!!
46:41- he’s getting a bit annoyed at the go get dan comments and it’s such a specific shift in vibes which makes sense because this was younow and god knows what that chat was also saying 
48:57- omg it’s danisnotonfire! what are you doing here get out of my house (you’re the same person dot gif) also sooo funny they already had their sides™️
50:36- that iconic dan hair push up and swoop is simultaneously the most comforting/nostalgic and single most anxiety inducing motion of all time
52ish- they’re sooo low energy in this one but it’s still comforting 
53:35- these two…
57:52- phil putting things on dans head because of course he does and taking dans thing because of course he does
58:00- i am not immune to phil in the trapper hat. 
58:24- them seeing all the screenshots and immediately making jokes (fun little note for those who don’t know is younow would have a pop up everytime someone took a snapshot so they knew every time they were being archived which had to have been a specific kind of hell and also what a shit feature??) their skin molecules are touching 
1:01:48- quite possibly the single most controversial shirt dan has ever owned. people haaaatedddd it for years (now im just soft bc its nostalgic)
1:04:06- dan and alexander mcqueen 4ever truly lmao also phil immediately having an opinion on the one he liked dan in better 
1:04:44- "dan played it on repeat all yesterday" “whenever i get sad i listen to it” :(( dan
1:05:15- dans fashion opinions haven’t changed and also the start of them being So conscious of revealing what they spend their money on because fans “didn’t like” when they spent a lot of money on things
1:05:46- we made it an hour before they read a gay comment but he’s handling it better than usual. phil saying “ don’t go there”
1:08:05- dan is STILL yapping about the hat god i love him he simply must elucidate 
1:09:29- aweeee a fanboy <333 he’s their love child (except dan reminds phil they’re not down to procreate with each other)
1:10:24- i love that phil has always thrown a random question at people to ease the tension like it’s suuuch a phil thing to ask what your worst fear is when you’re feeling awkward 
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jjsloverre · 3 days ago
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your love- c.s pt.2
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part 1~ part 2~ part 3
warnings: cursing, mentions of a hookup, mentions of drinking, smut, drunk sex, oral (male receiving) unprotected sex, p in v, fluff & aftercare, think that’s it!
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it was the day of my date with chris, we’ve been texting on instagram ever since and he’s been extremely sweet to me and he even has a song about his ‘crush’ on me. and ever since, the paparazzi has been up my ass. i wanted to try and keep our date a secret but the cameras and shit made it impossible.
i fix my hair up and finish my makeup, putting on the prettiest dress i had in my closet. i wanted this to be a great date, as much as i tried to deny it; i was extremely excited for this and didn’t want it to be a one time thing. i looked at the time and it read 5:16 pm. chris was coming to pick me up at 6:00 so i had some time on my hands to call my best friend and freak out.
me and my best friend talked for 30 minutes then i hear a knock on my door, followed up with a text.
“hey ma, i’m outside. wanted to pick u up early. got some shit planned for us.”
i hung up the phone, grabbed my purse, and headed for the door. when we greeted each other, his smile was everything. “fuck you look amazing.. got all pretty f’me huh?” i blush and smile. “just a little bit, i wanna see what you have planned for me!” he takes my hand, letting his other hand rest on my lower back. “yes ma’am.”
30 minutes later
“chris!!” i squeal. “this is the cutest thing ever! i thought our date was like gonna be a restaurant!” he smiled and settled me onto his lap. “i wanted it to be special. and i remember on your story you reposted some shit about wanting the first date to be like a picnic so i made it happen.”
i looked at him in amazement, i didn’t think the ��player’ of a rapper would have it in him to do something so nice for someone like me. “thank you! this is the sweetest thing ever!” he kisses my neck and pulls out some tequila. he pours me a shot and then him a shot. “cmon pretty girl take one with me! i’ll take care of you tonight!” i giggle and drink.
a few minutes into the drinks, i turn to straddle him, my eyes dazed with lust. “chrissss!” i slur and push him down onto the soft grass. his hands immediately find my hips as he holds me down. “mama, you’re drunk lemme get you back home ight? plus i gotta get back to the studio.” i pushed him right back down and smash my lips onto his. “i want you tonight chris, all to myself…”
he melts into my touch and lets me pull his shirt off. “baby i really gotta get you back to a building or some shit, i’m not gonna fuck you in the middle of the woods alright? not for our first time..” he picks me up, puts me on his back; then picks the picnic up. he carries me back to his car and sets me down in the passenger seat.
45 minutes later
“mama i can’t fuck you ight? you’re drunk and i don’t wanna take advantage of you.” i whined and pushed him down onto the bed, settling between his legs. “you know you want me to…” i trail my fingers on your pants, tracing the bulge in your pants, earning a groan from your lips.
“fuck, tell me you want it and i’ll do it.” i unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down with his boxers. freeing his long thick cock. “fuck baby come on stop teasing..” chris moaned as he already had his head resting on the pillow.
i immediately attached my lips to his red tip. tasting his pre cum as i started to suck slightly. just by my actions, chris was a moaning mess. “you look so beautiful.. suckin my tip like that, fuck baby keep going..” he gently grabs my hair to guide my movements as i take him deeper and deeper into my mouth. he let out a loud groan and started to fuck my face harder and harder. with a final thrust, he exploded down my throat.
i finally let up, straddling him as he caught his breath. “fuck me chris..” his eyes immediately shot up. with a swift motion, he flipped us around. his muscular body hovering over mine as he gently takes off my dress and my matching panty set. “ima fuck you every time i see you princess.. shit you look so sexy under me like this..” i feel two long fingers push inside my hole, they were longer than any finger i’ve tried with.
“chris!” i moan loudly as he went faster and faster until he took his fingers out. “baby why’d you stop?” i frowned. he gave me loving kisses to my lips as he spoke. “wait baby im puttin my dick in you now ok?” i nod, feeling his tip nudge my hole.
i grabbed his shoulders as he pushed inside me, i let out a loud moan while grunted with every thrust. “i’m balls deep inside the most famous, beautiful fucking actress.. shit you’re so tight i’m not gonna last long…” he went faster and faster until the tight knot in my belly completely snapped and a gush of liquid came out of me, chris moaned loudly, his eyes almost popped out.
“y/n… you just squirted all over my fucking dick!” he grunts and came deep inside me, i felt ropes of cum spilling in my womb. “can i make you do that again?” i smile up at him. “i’m sore baby!” he kisses me and lifts me up. taking me into the bathroom. “lemme clean you up mama, fuck i didn’t take advantage of you did i? fuck i’m so sorry-“ i cut him off with a sweet kiss. “chris i wanted you to fuck me okay? and i liked it, i liked it alot!”
he wipes me up, and runs me a hot bath. “can you join me?” he gets up and sets us both into the bathtub. “yeah sweet girl i will.” then, it was pure bliss. i loved our date, and i didn’t want it to be our last.
“cmon lemme get you into bed.” chris pulled me into bed and cuddled me the entire night. “i don’t want this to be our last night together.. ima ask you to be my girl soon, can’t wait for you to be my girlfriend y/n..” i feel kisses on my neck as i fall asleep.
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a/n- this is long but i like it, i hope you like it too!
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morocosmos · 3 days ago
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Then vs Now
Taking the numerous 'if you want to do this you're tagged' messages as a sign to make myself do the thing
Then (Part 1): Late 2020
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Not a gpose, but i felt compelled to share the only surviving screenshot i have of baby moro'a. i first played the game on my work PC (long story) and after i quit years later the fucking. IT guy did not send them to me soon after like he said he would (the head of IT was borderline paranoid about security so i couldn't send the pics to my personal email or anything). they were then mysteriously gone from the shared drive when he eventually did try to send them so they're just. gone forever now i guess :^) but here he is, a baby 🫐
Then (Part 2): April 2021
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As far as i can tell, this is the first dedicated gpose i took. on PLD of all things 🧍‍♂️ (not a canon job for him in the slightest, when the ENW stat squish reduced my exp to 0 at level 45 i just decided to never touch it again). i'd changed his hair to the braid fairly early on during ARR and kept it that way for a very long time
Now (Part 2): August 2024
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Three years, one hairstyle change during post-ENW and one graphical overhaul later. i feel like i'm alright with gposing at best and will occasionally crank out something good, i was angsting over this an unhealthy amount a few months ago and came to the conclusion that trying to consciously improve only makes my brain hurt, so now i'm just trying to chug along the tracks of whatever interests me enough to make the effort. but between poking at reshade presets and controlling the camera/poses there's definitely been improvement over time. i just need to stop obsessing over wishing i could be a master at it :'>
Bonus daytime version of the shot below bc i like it an equal amount:
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cranberrymoons · 6 months ago
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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definitelynotnia · 10 months ago
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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thegreenisles · 1 year ago
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Hey! I finished up another little resource I've been slowly putting together.
I've put together a turnaround reference of every character in the game, with every alternate appearance, both full bodies and profile views.
The full body views include a hatless young Graham for scale. There is a bit of an issue regarding characters with armor- I'm not very savvy with blender admittedly, and all of the metal comes out really dark. It isn't too bad, save for Manny, who doesn't even have his green feather. I'd like to fix those once I can. Also, capes are omitted. I think that only applies to Graham and Whisper though.
I'll be finishing up doing the same for the animals at some point, and I'm planning on making a few references for certain character's weapons, or other interesting items.
Also- along with the profile views, I included some of Graham's head at every angle by 10 degrees, from head on, lower, and upper angles. Thought it would be helpful to see how his hat works from any direction. The images are huge, here's a gif of them all together.
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Hope these will come of use! I've been working on it for a while.
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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 7 months ago
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i spent all morning looking for the cheapest ways to get to venice next monday and i feel like i've cracked the code or something i think i got it
#i have to talk it with my mum cause she's the one with the money#but i've seen some good ideas#i have 5 options for now#for some reason flights to and from venice from madrid are expensive as fuck#so i'll have to get to another airport first#here are my options. keep in mind the exam i have to take is on monday 10 at 9:30 am. also ideally i wouldn't want to pay a hotel room#in venice. cause they're expensive as fuck#so let's see. you can also help me out all help is welcomed:#option 1. on sunday i get on a train to barcelona. i sleep in bcn (most likely in a hostel at the airport)#and at 6:35 am there's a flight to venice from bcn for 64€#i arrive at 8:25. i go take the exam#and there's another flight off from venice to bcn at 16:45 for 75€#this is the cheapest flight out of venice i could find so this will always be the flight back#and then i arrive at bcn at 18:45 and have cheap trains to madrid at around 20:00#option 2. i think this is the most likely one. it's similar to the previous one BUT instead of bcn i'd be flying from alacant#why is this important? because i have family there#more precisely my grandpa's sister. who just had a surgery#and my grandma wanted to go visit her. she was literally talking about this two days ago#so. if my mum agrees to it. she could drive us three to alacant on sunday#we would sleep at my great aunt (?)'s place#and then i'd have a flight at 5:45 to venice for 70€#i'll get to venice at 8:00 and then the going home plan is the same#if she doesn't agree i have trains to alacant for 49€. and even if i wouldn't sleep with family (i have tons in alacant not just#the great aunt) hotels are definitely cheaper than in bcn#option 3. there's a flight from santander on sunday 9 for 14€ !!!!!#i could get on a night bus to santander for 71€ and be there at 6:30. the flight is at 10:10 and i would be in venice at 12:15#i would have to sleep in venice but i think it would compensate for the flight being so cheap#and then you know the drill with the flight to bcn#option 4. this is also quite likely i think this is the cheapest and my favourite i think.#i could fly on sunday to florence from madrid for 54€. i would arrive at florence at 12:15
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Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.
Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?
Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.
Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.
#source: me#incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes ideas#incorrect quotes prompts#tw: drug mention#tw: drugs#i used to be so small when all i did was heroin and ketamine. since i started drinking (i only started drinking every night because the-#-opiate withdrawal was so fucking bad alcohol was the only thing that kept my legs from kicking all night long and my skin from feeling-#-like it was on cold wet fire somehow)#anyway. when all i did was opiates ™ i was like 45 kg and i’m 165 aka 5’5 like i looked like a sickly model#now it’s only been a month drinking and not doing morphine or some shit and i already gained 12 kg it’s insane i’m like almost 60 kg now#i’m queueing this for a month from now so hopefully it’ll have been 2 months when this gets posted#and like i say i’m an alcoholic cause i don’t think it’s normal to drink like 5 nights a week but i’m not chemically dependent on it like i-#-was with opiates like i’m sober half the time. ive never done surgery while drunk for instance. there was this one time i had just had 4-#-shots in the bathroom in secret cause i was having a panic attack and didn’t know what else to do but anyway.#and they asked me if i wanted to close up on a tubal ligation and i passed on the opportunity even though i was Fine bc idk i just didn’t-#-feel good ab it. which is more than i can say for my professor tbh#like some other medical intern said ‘wow it must be so hard having to be On Call 24/7. like i bet u can’t even drink’#and he said ‘oh come on surgeons have lives too. in fact i drank more than a few beers just a few hours ago lol’ and proceeded to cut-#-someone open#anyway. yeah. i don’t get drunk at work yk#felt like i had to make that clear
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jackalspine · 11 months ago
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There’s something so decadent abt wanting to hear a song. Playing it. And then turning the music off. Returning to silence
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skyburger · 9 months ago
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do you ever spend a stupid long time on something and when you finish youre like. What even was the fucking point of that. why did i made microsoft click 98 starring adam sandler
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oreegaanoo · 9 months ago
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Once again I am fueled by comments from my thesis supervisor and feel like I can actually do this thing hell YEAAAAHHHH
I CAN WRITE THIS THING!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHH
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enchantedmoulinet · 1 year ago
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oouuuggghhh I want to resub to FFXIV right now so bad. and 90% of it is because I literally just want to dress up my character in outfits. like yeah there's the most recent patch of MSQ and the new alliance raid to do and maybe, I don't know, Island and relic weapon grinds? but god I mostly just want to dress my character up.
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steviescrystals · 8 months ago
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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softpine · 2 years ago
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tumblr is getting rid of the legacy editor soon, so say goodbye to my extremely long posts 😔 incidentally i’m sure some of you are happy i’m being nerfed fjkjsds
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andromedasummer · 1 year ago
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you know what i would love to be an option in bg3? making your own party member. like Icewind Dale style. choose their class, voice, appearance and travel with them. obvs i understand why they didnt, but it wouldve been so fun to have the option to make your own member, esp if they could be incorporated into your backstory. a sibling, parent, spouse, adventuring buddy, best friend.
#this being spurred on by my want of my pc sabine being joined by my drow pc schezelle#have been working on them more (made sabine a lathander paladin as that made more sense and schezelle a seluné worshipping sorcerer)#they both knew each other through mutual friends becore being kidnapped in baldurs gate. while sabine was an experienced adventurer#schezelle only recently escaped the underdark after betraying her family after being rescued by members of sabines adventuring party#so all this kind of danger is very new and scary for her. i have her at about 70#(young adult in elf years) and sabine a half elf at 45.#whereas sabine follows the canonical romance line with shadowheart#schezelle falls for astarion and supports him unequivocally but gets trapped into a relationship with him when she helps him ascend and#his alignment/the relationship as a whole changes. after the tadpole is removed the rest of the party help her get away from him and#in the meantime she looks for a way to use either true restoration/resurrection/some other cure for his vampirism#because she realizes she made a HUGE mistake just going along with everything he wanted to do#and only went along with it because 1. her own alignment is still slowly becoming unfucked cos. female drow raised in the underdark#2. shes just used to doing what people who like her say because its easier that way and doesnt make conflict#i dont think she gets back together with astarion after she finds a cure for him but they stay close. she returns to waterdeep with sabine#and shadowheart to live in the formers tavern with her adventuring party#maybe falls in love with gale while researching cures for astarion#idk yet still thinking things through and going through the game#anyway yeah. wish i couldve made a friend for sabine. think she gets lonely and misses home a lot during the adventure.
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