#like!!! Yikes to everything by god!!!
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I’m actually such a huge Dante fan and I much prefer her to Father.
Father defenders come get me but it never sat right with me how all of the violent conflicts in amestris, especially ishbal, were the result of one evil inhuman god wannabe. It’s too easy. Very ahahaha the big bad was behind it all along, which is a weird approach when dealing with something as sensitive as genocide. Thematically, it makes so much more sense to have the drive to these conflicts be a deeply human one.
Though she may deny it Dante is a person, and a deeply selfish one at that. And in a world that is crumbling beneath the wills of many deeply selfish people, Dante sticks out as a much more real character.
#also is it just me or was she hot#who said that#i will say (sexual assault mention going forward in the tags)#making her rapey towards a 15 year old did not sit right with me#she was fucked up enough she didn’t need to do THAT#it’s not tonally inconsistent with the rest of 2003 I just really really didn’t like it#idk I’m sure other people have much smarter opinions but yikes that gave me the ick#ok unrelated but I didn’t even get into how her making Edward question his world view is just#it’s so yummy#father doesn’t have much of an effect on Ed but DANTE#Dante makes him question everything he’s ever known and god. god#fma#fma 03#fullmetal alchemist
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aurghhh ok still rewatching '97 and the way guts and casca only have the room to breathe and really come to understand and care for each other in griffith's absence because he has such a strong hold over them both.... and the way their mutual dedication to him is what causes them to bicker for years (casca thinks he's not serving him well enough, guts thinks she doesn't get that he cares/how much he cares, casca's jealousy over griffith's feelings for guts, how he won his heart without even trying or being aware of it or doing anything with it) and is also a big part of what brings them together (earlier when guts deviates from the plan to save griffith and she commends him, in the cave casca opening up about griffith and her's past, showing that vulnerability, while it's mostly confrontational, leads to guts kinda getting her better, and his efforts to save and protect her (falling off the cliff with her, taking on the 100 men so she can escape, encouraging her to return to griffith so she can help him because it's what she feels she's meant to do (her dream, the direction in life guts shares and yet is questioning because of griffith's speech at the fountain, whether or not it's enough to serve him if it means he'll never be a true friend in griffith's eyes because he's not an equal), supporting the idea of her being with griffith/being his most important person like he won't because he doesn't view it as a competition like she has been since day one) leading to her realizing that he's kind of not that bad a guy and they have a lot more in common that she thought. and how the bonfire of dreams conversation is guts opening up to her in kind, the answer to her talking about how griffith saved her, how she feels. how neither of them ever call it love but it's something they know they both have for griffith. how it's something they're beginning to have for each other, different in ways they couldn't put a word to. because they're equals this time. the way griffith kind of becomes less and less important as they find other reasons to live and fight, as they become less singularly obsessed with him. how griffith is unable to stand it, guts' personhood, that agency and peer-to-peer equality he claimed to want (and perhaps truly did) that disappeared guts from his life, his plans, his side. how it barely even matters to griffith how casca changes because he never wanted her like she wanted him. god i can't fucking stand their shakespearean nonsense drama (<- hopelessly in love with their interpersonal dynamics)
#god they're the only healthy part of this unholy mind-palace love triangle/throuple aren't they#they could have been the worst qpr/throuple in your social circle. like just insufferable when they're not getting along#if griffith hadn't [oh god oh fuck oh jesus christ] all over everything even remotely good in his life anyway#poor casca's in love with a gay man and then falls for his not-quite-boyfriend and when not-quite-boyfriend reciprocates said gay man fucki#g. Does The Eclipse Stuff. at least partially to get back at you two. oh my godd#i'm sorry i'm so not normal about them. it's starting to leak out into the blog bc i'm finally having a Berserk Moment since starting tumbl#but whewwwww. gotta get this outta my system#hope this wall of text makes sense oops <3#berserk#berserk 1997#how do i even tag their thang. their disastrous just horrible agonizing 3 guy dynamic. hm.#gutsca#griffguts#don't even know if anyone tags for griffith and casca. fair because 1) he raped her. yikes 2) he just straight up isn't into her#and i don't know if there's a tag for the three of them but trial and error led to nothing#but i wanna talk about their dynamic. their. (gestures wildly) whatever. it's not about thinking griffith should kiss anyone it's about lik#the agony. the pining and the torment and whatever miura so beautifully crafted for me specifically. sheesh#hope it's clear that i Don't Want Them To Be An Uwu Little Polycule Bc Casca Should Not Be In A Cutesy Throuple With Her Rapist#it's more that i think they kind of are or almost are part of this (gestures wildly again). Thing. with each other and i wanna talk about i#same with griffguts like oh man they should NOT be in a relationship. but i have this deep intense Need to study them and frankly they're#kind of crazy about each other for a while. like they care about each other so so much it's crucial to all three of their characters.#so it's kind of unavoidable. and i wanna talk about it. and have this read by people who also want to talk about it. yeah? yeah.#(and yeah i think griffith raping casca was about her and guts. like 'fuck you for making him okay with leaving me' type of vibe. even#though it wasn't her fault he's just. god. but it sure as hell isn't Mostly about casca because griffith's making eye contact like the Whol#time with guts. he makes him watch. it's just. shooooooooooo aughhhhghhghh fucking. jesus christ. that or it's the fear that his two most#important pawns are going to leave him Together and he just. can't deal with that. especially after the torture internment thing.#he's so weak and he was so close to his dream and now it's falling apart and they're leaving him and he can't even move. it's about making#damn sure they can't escape him or forget him ever again.#or maybe it's even a 'you can't have her she's mine' to guts but it's still largely like. spiteful/about possessing her as a soldier/human#because i don't think you could convince me it's about having her as a lover or about controlling/hurting/possessing her body.)
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This interview confirmed
The point of the wilds era games is showcasing mechanics, the 'core' of both games was to build and walk around
There will be no DLC
There will not be another direct sequel
The ultrahand will not continue in future games
The timeline is intentionally unclear to make the game accessible for new fans and the development process (tl;dr All Zelda games are intentionally AUs to a degree)
The producer and director both deny intentional references to prior games in the story, but then say that these similarities represent the soul of the series and the overall myth of The Legend of Zelda (pick a lane)?
The timeline doesn't matter, outside of specific sets of games it's irrelevant on purpose. Whatever you think about the timeline is correct. Continuity is not the point. Maintaining the form while creating something new is the point.
Fujibayashi really only cares about mechanics and Aunoma is totally cool with that
#yikes!#cw negativity#aunoma's answers were better than fujibayashi's but yeeugh what a bad taste in the mouth#'this is the first time i'm hearing the theory that these are direct references to prior games' sir have you spoken to your story departmen#don't answer that i know the answer is no#man these interviews are so bleak lol#Interviewer's like: Hey can you tell us about this story and they're like: (chanting) yeah whatever have you checked out the tech tho#Finding out Fujibayashi literally had No background in storytelling before becoming a director makes SO much sense#he started as an attraction designer for theme parks like his whole skillet is based in how to get people to walk around efficiently#which granted is an important skill in game desing! but GOD it explains EVERYTHING about the last three titles lmao#he literally said his first game job was pitching Other People's Concepts to the director. Then he became the director.#Baffling lol#I'm glad actual fans of story work in the story department or we'd be completely doomed#At least currently there's Some Glimmers now and then#but Aunoma wants to leave the series to him and I hrk--!!
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Hi i was the anon that asked about lissie and marcus and she just got exposed a few days ago on tiktok. Like damn i had no idea that the situation was that bad. We really don't know if all of what they're saying about her is true or not but i kinda think there is some truth to it. And have you noticed that she has not done any f1 presenter work this year like she was only in miami cause she was invited as a guest
hello, welcome back !!! yes i saw a tiktok about how she's been acting and all that, and to be honest i'm not that surprised? i see soooo many ppl on twitter going like "i had an off feeling about her at first but everyone else liked her so i went along with it" and that's exactly what i felt 😭
i think it's been kinda obvious that she was pretty controlling of marcus, but i also didn't know she was like banned from the cgr garage because of her behavior? that she was famous around the paddock for being so annoying and rude?? but then as you said, we dont really know if anything is true, but no smoke without fire…..
#and yeah being only a guest in f1 and there as marcus eriksson's guest in indy#hmmmm#god i dont wanna imagine what marcus must be feeling about all of this if its true#like getting a girlfriend who works in the sport and thinking everything is gonna be cute and fine#but then she turns out to be like *that* and everyone hates her and his team says 'its her or us'……….. yikes#asks!#anon!
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re: udg reblog,
clearly the solution to “oh i love this but i don’t think anyone should play it” is to write a fic with only the good parts and none of the bad parts but then you have this big empty space where the bad parts were so you just make something up that seems vaguely believable
that seems like a normal thing normal people do right?
RIGHT?
It’s always correct and totally won’t ever lead to agony as you look at the canon and scream because my god how are you supposed to salvage something this stupid why are you doing this you used to be so normal and not care oh god why does attacking the little girl make her pants fly off oh god why is delta a character
#ask#i love zwg truly. but i understand the agony#if i wanted to make a better version of udg or really any dr game i have no clue where id start my god theres so much happening#obviously the clown nonsense that is komaeda in that game needs to stay because theres really nothing better than seeing him be bullied#by a bunch of grade schoolers who throw milkshakes at him and draw on his face with sharpie#oh oh and the sexy byakuya fantasies need to stay too because if youre bad at the puzzles like me he just bullies you#its dry catered to the shit me and my sister meme about akjsks#the shit with the kids though..........yikes#also fuck shirokuma i cant stand him literally the most obnoxious character ever created#it felt good to kill him#i was doing a proper playthrough of udg last year see cuz id never played it myself#just watched playthroughs when i was 14 and edgy and had no frame of reference for good writing yet#so it was fun not only re experiencing the utter. obscenity that is this game and also trying to figure out the mechanics#its kinda fun sometimes until the boss fights happen then its like actually the worst thing ever i may have needed to walk around angrily#and basically i was on ch4 and stopped when there was a mission with haiji cuz i just. needed to stop#havent played since im too frightened aksjks#and yeah the agony of trying to rewrite a game is shared cuz im going through it with p3#and basically basically i have been trying so hard and was in a good zone but basically i snapped recently#cuz the kirijo group stuff my god its just so bad that i like theres just no way i can make this game make sense#i have the one project where everything is restructured but then i have the stuff where like. I have to make this fit the game structure#loosely cuz it was just supposed to be a character analysis fic but basically my brain hath broken its kaboom#though p3 is a lot more workable than ztd is my god theres just too much happening at once there aksjks#you are so brave for what youve done Kay 🙏#and to any poor soul who wants to do a rewrite of a frustrating story......have fun. but watch out
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i took a break from kinktober writing to crochet a sweater (my first wearable project, im very excited) and i'm listening to the throne of glass audiobook while i do it (IT'S REALLY GOOD IM ANNOYED I DIDNT START ON THE SERIES SOONER??????)
BUT all this to say, i got the idea to - if this sweater goes well - make a velaris sweater :') with ramiel on it :') it's already a thing i know but ive wanted one since the first time i saw one on tiktok but i dont wanna buy clothes on tiktok bc im worried about wearing anything THAT cheap bc i have sensitive skin, and theyre WAY expensive on etsy, so i will make my own :D
#this has nothing to do with writing#sorry yall#i just had to tell someone#and no one ik irl likes acotar or crochets so like#yall get to deal with my ramblings about it#anyway kinktober days 1-17 are done#im sweating idk how im balancing everything rn#no sleep and hanging on by a thread?#5 classes this semester; 20+ hours a week at the lab; OVERSEEING INCOMPETENT PEOPLE AT LAB; PERSONAL EMOTIONAL TURMOIL#crocheting; writing; and somehow still managing to clean and cook and eat and shower and skincare and GOD#i know a lot of this is like...... normal stuff a person needs to do every day but like#im medicated girls.... and the wellbutrin is not wellbutrining rn#has not been for like weeks now#maybe i need to talk to my psychiatrist........#yikes oversharing now gonna go#i was gonna write but i simply do not feel like it#i am going to make my sweater and listen to tog thank you#this has been my daily pop in with you guys
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watched some adam west and ROBIN put a tracker on BATMAN
#shitpost#also watched some batman beyond and#jesus terry was 14 for his stint in juvie???#And omg him taking bruce to the batman musical for his birthday#AND. AT ONE POINT ALSO TERRY SAID BRUCE MAY BE A FATHER FIGURE FOR HIM HIIII#also uhhh that episode with talia was. So wild and just. Holy shit#like!!! Yikes to everything by god!!!
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a loved one of mine sent me this post back in June, but i was immediately afraid of being a party-pooper so i didnt post my reply publicly but, now, ive had more than enough emotional distance from the knee-jerk anxiety of "oh no what if i correct people and everyone sends me hate and doxxes me" that im like "oh yeah i should post that" lmao (if i already did this: sorry, chronic memory loss stinks. i dont remember having done this before lmao)
if you dont like reading a long thing of text to get information btw, totally get it, here is a video link to Jessica Vill's video about the topic which will walk you through identical information if that is your preferred way to process/learn
also: you can easily google and wiki my sources, these arent hard things to verify once you know to look them up to begin with. but i did include screenshots below as my various sources; as well as evidence of "yeah, it would be super easy to fact-check me about this if you feel so inclined" [transcripts of images will be my reblog of this post under a read more, bc tumblr kept throwing a fit otherwise if i did it here] nonetheless, never blame people for not knowing what they didnt know. the misconception is absolutely the fault of PBS (for not fact-checking the author of that article pre-publication if nothing else) for publishing an article preying on the Black community's pre-existing attachment to Betty Boop for clicks. i wont be going into that article itself that had so terribly misreported, esp since PBS already apologized, im just reporting the information i know
i will add the following corrections to what i said in that DM:
i do not "blame" anyone above for the misinformation. if i "blame" anyone, it is PBS for claiming Fleischer consciously based Betty Boop's personality and design on Esther Jones, which you can see in the screenshot above; where BlackHistory.com cites and quotes that said misreported article. thats who i was groaning about in my DM, the PBS article; i was not nor was i ever attributing misinformation to come from @rikareena or @lveshae, but especially not @rikareena who fact-checked and was lied to by (a) said misinformation and (b) there not being an editorial within the snippet SAYING "oh btw sorry, our source we mentioned was bad actually. PBS apologized for the misinformation and not fact-checking it and we should too for spreading it without fact-checking our source ourselves". you should always google your facts and that is exactly what @rikareena did. it was not anybody in this post's fault that these sources were based on misinformation. do NOT blame or send negative attention to any tumblr-user/individual person within this post or outside of this post, istg, demand better of these website-sources instead (esp to have fact-checking teams themselves) and not individual people omfg
we do have few photos of Little Esther (you can see all of them in Jessica Vill's video), not just one. but they all are of her as a child. we have NO confirmed photos of her as an adult. also, to clarify, Little Esther was who i was talking about in regards to lost media, we have VERY little records of her performances (to which im glad people HAVE been looking into her and finding more about her that we can confirm is definitely her through this misreport. i love that she is re-gaining fans and her story is being shared, very big silver lining of this whole thing. if you're into uncovering lost media, please do look into her and help find more about her) also, she goes by "Baby Esther" and "Little Esther" as well as her name of Esther Jones/Esther Lee Jones
the photo i said was maybe her as an adult was incorrect. you'll see it below, it's the "Do Tell by James Van Der Zee, circa 1930" portrait that has oft been misattributed to Esther Jones. we do not know who this woman modeling for him had been
the cosplayer in question i mentioned was specifically Olya Gussy. she dressed up as Betty Boop and was photographed in 2008 by Retro Atelier. she is often misattributed as being an adult Esther Jones, which she is not
part of why i can never remember Betty Boop's primary "original" voice-actress is because Betty Boop has had SO MANY, even in just "classic Betty years". but i was specifically thinking of Mae Questel. the main three classic 1930s Betty Boop voices were Mae Questel, Mary Hines, and Bonnie Poe, but there were also several others in the 30s alone. but, yeah, when i was trying to talk about Betty Boop's voice-actress, it was Questel specifically who was in my head
i got my information wrong about the Betty Boop musical "Boop!". i got confused; i blame my chronic memory loss, but still my bad. anyway. it has so far ONLY been OFF-Broadway and is DUE to be ON Broadway in 2025 (get hyped!!! im so excited!!). off of Broadway, it has so far only been in Chicago according to the Wikipedia. and though it only had a had a short run in Chicago overall, the entire time it WAS in Chicago, Betty Boop was played by a Black musical actress: Jasmine Amy Rogers. love her, go support her!!
here are various screenshots with more information. feel free to look into them and/or the court-case on your own time. this is just "yep, shallow 2+2=4 levels of using google/wiki to fact-fact" on myself (which, to reiterate: is NOT a diss on anyone who didnt know what they didnt know, outside of this post or within it, idgaf, i do not tolerate trolls and dickheads being mean and utalizing me/my posts as a weapon to do that with) and show my sources in a more visual way
so yeah!! Betty Boop absolutely should be claimed by Black people since she has so many connections to Black American art within her performance, and Betty should 100% be drawn as a Black woman by any and everybody who wants to depict her that way
but also dont give Fleischer Studios credit for things they didnt do. they did not utalize Ether Jones in their initial conception of Betty in any purposeful or concious way; they did not design a Black animated female character in the 1930s. do not give them that credit that they have not earned. Fleischer Studios only utalized Esther Jones to get out of a court-case they had with Helen Kane. them accidentally creating a character whose performance is heavily in connection with Black American artists, like Esther Jones, is VERY DIFFERENT than them basing a character off of Esther Jones or being inspired by her in of by itself. do not give them flowers for making a Black female character star in her own shorts (and then rescind said flowers-that-they-didnt-earn for how she then "became white-washed" like that PBS article misreported) when they just?? didnt do any of that?
(also this is mostly unrelated but bc it is tangentially related to "dont give Fleischer Studios credit for things they didnt do" thing: if you know me, youll see me specifically crack jokes about Betty Boop being wlw and/or about her "he/him butch girlfriend, Freddie". im talking about her canon boyfriend, Fred or Fearless Fred, who is a human (unlike her also once-canon boyfriend of Bimbo, the anthropomorphic dog). do not take me making jokes about headcanons and how "Fred's design is too sapphic to be a cis man" as legitimate fact. youll see the internet jokes of a similar vein sometimes, im definitely not the originator of that joke)
Betty Boop is for everybody in the same way as youve likely seen that Hatsune Miku trend where everyone is making a cultural Miku re-design to their specific ethnicity or way of life; we've seen Betty Boop be flexibly "for everyone" tons of times, even outside of her being a nostalgic tribute to the flapper girl era (a cultural niche in which women of ALL backgrounds took part). in classic Betty Boop cartoons alone, we've seen:
Betty Boop as white/white-passing (especially any time they copied Helen Kane which Fleischer Studios did OFTEN and didn't even HIDE until it became a legal issue; but also Helen Kane wasn't even being that original. baby voices like Betty Boop's was a common gimmick of actresses then and Helen Kane's catch-phrase wasn't even her own. i still personally think Fleischer was copying Kane, but also it makes 100% sense why she lost that lawsuit),
we have had Betty Boop be Jewish (the most obvious being parents in some shorts speaking with thick Yiddish accents, implying she is the daughter of immigrant parents, most famously in the "Minnie the Moocher" short as part of the set-up before any music even began to play),
we've had her be rotoscoped dancing using Indigenous Hawaiian dancers, in their regalia, and given a tan (multiple times but my favorite is "Bamboo Isle" for sure),
we've had her collab with Cab Calloway (a famous Black jazz musician for anyone who doesn' recognize the name) along with others and had Betty Boop's catchphrase ultimately come from Baby Esther's scatting, along with other instances of Betty Boop's performances having connection to Black American performance-art
and, hell, you could even make arguments about Betty Boop as a cowgirl in her "Nan McGrew" parodies. cowgirls and cowboys were a largely queer and/or POC group, paid very little but allowed a lot of freedom of expression and welcomed isolation, until America cinema and the like white-washed cowboys to hell and back. you could see Betty Boop as anyone of any identity, really, but especially as being of the marginalized in that vein
Fleischer Studios did definitely (accidentally popularize infantalization in animated women woah who said that, who brought up my special-interest) only announce that they used an alagamation of flapper women in their design to better shoot down Helen Kane, but that doesn't mean it wasn't true. Betty Boop IS the 1930s tribute to the flapper era of the 20s and all the women from there, of all skin-colors and ways of life. anybody can cosplay or draw Betty Boop. but Black people especially do have a special connection to Betty Boop that cannot be denied and is v beautiful
(i could talk for a few hours about Betty Boop, and i will be the first to admit this isn't even her first "well, originally..." debate concerning her as a character, much less the breadth of her impact OR all aspects of her history. there's all the ways she did steal/borrow from Helen Kane, at least in my opinion; her impact of infantalization in animated women's designs; her hyper-sexualization and how theater at the time functioned (in a sexual way*) and her specific "gags in the margins"(*×2) animators would make; her almost movie about her and her father that a lot of Betty Boop fans have dug up and shared the conceptual work of around; and even the debate of her age as that is constantly in flux depending on where you look and at what time of history (*×3). all of which i mention in an "if you liked learning about Betty, there is a lot more to look into learning about her" way rather than an "ask me, ask me, ask me" way)
(said * clarifactions will be with the aforementioned reblog to not make this post even LONGER than it already is lmao)
anyway. again: A++ art though, absolutely love it ♡
boop-boop-a-doop
#betty boop#esther jones#baby esther#little esther#esther lee jones#long post#ps. the wiki bit about the PBS article is a bit confusing bc theyre throwing years around around#to clarify: 2015 was when the article was published. well within the same month it was posted (probably the same week ngl but#idk for sure) they posted an editorial on the bottom of the article apologizing and saying they were wrong (in no small part#bc Fleischer Studios themselves contacted them yiKES YIKES YIKES lmao). so these articles from 2017 and everything?? real sHIT FUCKING#JOURNALISM like youre telling me yall could scroll to the bottom of the article??? bc i KNOW it was at the bottom i SAW IT BACK IN 2015#anyway. i guess?? PBS realized people were still citing them and went ''y'all really not scrolling to the bottom?? really??? yOURE#GONNA GET US IN TROUBLE jfc you guys we dont want a court case from the people who own Betty Boop and the defunct Fleischer#Studios about libel and apparently we cant trust yall sO YOINK'' and then in 2021 allegedly deleted the article according to wikipedia#(i dont care enough about PBS' article to check if it was deleted) the one thing i will grant these other articles is my#chronic memory loss makes shit fuzzy so MAYBE the editorial apologizing was posted as late as EARLY 2017. okay MAYBE. but i fucking dOUBT IT#BC??? HELLO?? FLEISCHER STUDIOS MESSAGED THEM??¿???¿¿? but idk MAYBE its a 2015 article that went viral in 2017 so Fleischer didnt know#until then?? buT THATS ME BEING FUCKING GENEROUS. I REMEMBER SEEING THE FLEISCHER MESSAGED THEM AND SEEING THE ARTICLE LINKED AND READING#IT AND THE APOLOGY AND I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS 2015 I REMEMBER BEING IN HIGH SCHOOL but idk maybe i was visiting a teacher at the time i#saw it and my memory loss is making shit fuzzy bUT 2018 ON GOT NO FUCKING EXCUSE AND I REALLY DO THINK ALL THIS SHIT HAPPENED IN 2015 I JUST#AM WELL USED TO MY MEMORY LOSS FUCKING WITH ME. THATS MY ONLY DOUBT. NOT WHAT I ACTUALLY REMEMBER. BUT THE FACT THAT I KNOW IVE#BEEN CONFIDENT BEFORE ONLY BE WRONG AND BETRAYED BY MY CHRONIC MEMORY LOSS. I SWEAR THE EDITORIAL HAPPENED IN 2015#but yeah the wiki makes it sound like they didnt have to apologize for years ans that they did a quick ''sorry!!'' and delete. nah lmao
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see, the problem with Caterina's abuse NEVER being actually brought up is that I just did the biggest YIKES when this happened:
ROOK, IT IS BAD, HE BECAME EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED-
at least he does save it a bit
#god#no see i get what they're trying to mean like 'despite everything you came out good' or whatever#but when you know the context#it just feels bad#and like look at this point they've know each other for what a week#so yeah#but still a bit...idk yikes to me
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GIBSIE was raped by mark? this whole time??? holy shit that actually brought me to tears. what the fuck.
#mine#boys of tommen#tw rape mention#i genuinely do not know what to say what a disturbing note to end my day on#this is so horrifying and terrible and sad#there’s so many levels and implications to this that idk what to do with#i’m so sorry gibsie for saying earlier that you did not have a good enough reason to be putting off your relationship with claire#i’m eating my words that was SO WRONG of me#also the implications of this with the dee situation….yikes#and god the fallout when lizzie learns about this. yeesh……#this is horrific in so many ways. i feel so desperately devastated for him#i already wanted to reread the series at some point but this changed EVERYTHING#i really need to experience it all again with the full context because …..#tw rape#NOW WHAT THE HELL…..#i’m so terrible because this whole time gibsie has been alluding to this deep dark backstory and saying he was broken inside and all that#and here i was like bruv it just can’t be that serious let’s move it along#BUT IT WAS IN FACT THAT SERIOUS. IT WAS SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING I MIGHT HAVE IMAGINED#WAS THIS BEING ALLUDED TO??#like the conversation with darren made it a lot more obvious right before the reveal but before then i was clueless#like i wanted to know about that letter SO BAD bc im like what could caoimhe have said to him why would she write him a letter#and why would he tuck it away under his bed and treasure it and read it all the time#also sorry if i misspelled her name that was my best effort from memory#i’m reeling. holy SHIT
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VERA'S A GODDESS NOW????????
#chatter#sosf#SO THE NEW CHAPTER HUH#honestly good for her <3 i support vera no matter what she does <3#literally like. her not even really wanting to be a god.#just. i want to live. i want to live the life i never got#and when thats over i'll give this up...#HER JUST WANTING TO KEEP HER AND LEO SAFE.....#cause yeah ethans right. at this point to hurt vera you hurt leo and THATS gonna get her.#god. god vera and leo are everything to me#i do hope she talked to leo about this tho <3#bc if not i feel like. this has Major Ramifications on leo's friendships w people lol#tho i feel like he and piper can still be friends. maybe even reyna!!!#assuming they all survive this idk how many demigods we've got left#but to narrow it down to seven. Yikes.#ANYWAYS ANOTHER WIN FOR THE VERALEO NATION. THE BESTIES OF ALL TIME#vera love of my life
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#god i hate my brain#(+ the meds im on for making this issue worse)#its just. soooo fun to have a dream / nightmare about one of the friends u hung out recently completely hating u#and breaking up ur friendship by calling out ur deepest flaws in the extremely hurtful way only ur own brain can come up with#thats....fun#now i have to disentangle that from my actual perception of this friend bc i dont think they would Ever say things like that#(then again idk. everything said in the dream was true imho so. stupid fucking anxiety / RSD)#and i need to make sure my brain does not conflate the two versions of this person#which is. actually kind of hard w my particular flavours of autism + cptsd#i struggle w that shit#aiyaiyai#anyway#fuck my brain#i h8 it here#i have never clenched my jaw so tight from a stress dream yikes#my whole face hurts now#that was. Awful#and now that particular scene from the dream is playing on repeat in my head and i cant get it to stop#lovely#just lovely
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Call me petty or whatever but, making fun of and shit talking my toxic ex with my current partners is literally so fun....
My current boyfriend of ten years was ALSO with them so it's really fun to completely trash talk our failed poly relationship lmao
Healing is being able to laugh at how ridiculous it all was instead of being afraid of them.
#i cannot believe i dated that person LMAO#they're the biggest YIKES#im so glad we got away and got out bro omg.. it was MESSY and i was mean but it was needed!!!!#i acted in ways im not proud of but that DOESN'T MATTER. we got away from someone who was actively stalking us!!! AND PROBABLY STILL IS??#they guilt tripped people into s*x. manipulated people and admitted to lying about us to make us look bad to their friends?? AND MY PARTNER?#they forced someone to go behind others backs to talk to and be with them by FAKING S/H AND LYING ABOUT GETTING DRUNK???#THEY LIED ABOUT ADDICTION AND SELF HRM.. TO MANIPULATE SOMEONE INTO BEING WITH THEM...... BRO.#they demonized my friends RECOVERING PERSECUTOR and BLAMED EVERYTHING ON HIM despite EVERYONE knowing he was LITERALLY IN THE HOSPITAL#every single time anything went tense or bad SOMEHOW theyd find a way to ask if it was him WHILE HE WAS...... IN THE HOSPITAL??? also.#yeah he was hurtful to the group YEARS AGO. literally YEARS AGO. he was BETTER..... and THEY NEVER EVEN SPOKE TO HIM?? THEY DIDN'T KNOW HIM?#they would CONSTANTLY bring up or show or do peoples triggers ON PURPOSE or try and “LOOPHOLE” to KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT??#LIKE.. WE ASKED YOU TO STOP.... SO STOP TRYING TO “AMBIGUOUSLY TALK ABOUT IT” YOU'RE LITERALLY TRIGGERING EVERYONE BRO???#they're also a fuvking pro endo and “unlabeled plural” or whatever which is WILD..... and oh my god they act SO HIGH N MIGHTY????#they're the WORST type of “pro endo stereotype” as well.. like EXACTLY what you think of when hearing “twitter plural community”#i should have never dated a homestuck fan dude..... oh my god.#literally so many years with them im never getting back#did i mention they made suic pacts with people and would IMMEDIATELY pretend to attempt. also ED pacts with people. you know the type.#one time back on QUOTEV of all places they lied about c*tting down into their wrist bone??? LIKE??? WHAT?#im losing my mind#how did i ever let it get so far#also their weird factkin shifting game grumps incest thing with their younger sibling....... disgusting!!!!
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Sorta related, I've been trying to work out why the arguments about "the throne should not exist!" are leaving a bit of a bad taste in my mouth and I think you may have sparked a train of thought towards figuring some of that out.
I think that, in some ways, the "throne" the way people seem to be talking about it already doesn't exist? Like, the gods aren't actually doing much ruling with respect to Exandria and, as far as I can tell, that was true even before the Divergence. Pre-Divergence was the Age of Arcanum, the height of mortal power and irreverence towards the Divine. Aeor was, by my memory, implied to have been anit-god even before the Calamity and we know that Avalir was extremely vocal about its disdain for the gods and in response the gods were just like "alright then, you do you, we'll be over here" and just stayed in their lane with the people who did want to be involved with them while doing their jobs, taking care of their domains and helping out their followers. Nobody who doesn't want to engage with them has to, then or now.
As far as I can tell, the gods when they had free reign were less monarchs ruling over Exandria, crushing all dissent against them, and more infrastructure workers making sure the proverbial trains ran on time and the lights stayed on. And post-Divergence, the Primes are still doing those jobs, they're just teleworking now.
Which is to say, to circle back around, Ludinus' plan isn't destroying a throne, it's decimating the base infrastructure of reality without any sort of idea about what happens next.
Here's my problem with Ludinus's whole thing
So Ludinus's whole thing is that the gods shouldn't be in charge of everything, because they have too much power and they're petty and not better than humans, or whatever, right? But here's the issue: they're actually doing a pretty good job.
The world doesn't suck that bad. When people aren't activley trying to fuck up the gods, they actually do their jobs really well. Magic functions like it should, people get healed, sometimes they even come back to life. I know it's not all perfect, there are zealots and assholes, but that's not a reason to overthrow the entire pantheon. The system's working.
And even if it wasn't, even if the system Ludinus is trying to destroy was broken, he doesn't have a plan to replace it. His ultimate goal, as far as we know, will create the power vacuum to end all power vacuums. He's going to destroy Exandria on the vauge hope that whatever system pops up is better than the one they already have? Somehow? Don't let that 23 Int fool you; he's dumb as shit.
#critical role#bell's hells#downfall#ludinus da'leth#look I'm not saying the god/mortal power differential isn't a little bit yikes and might need some manner of addressing#or that the Prime's have handled everything perfectly always#but neither authority/power of itself nor the having of it is inherently evil#and I think that history shows that barring some very exigent circumstances#(with very horrifying results that should not be discounted and that the Prime's themselves do not discount)#the Prime's have used their power pretty responsibly#and certainly a *lot* more responsibly than ludinus (and others like him) has used the power he's amassed#also I am of the opinion that if your arguments are some flavor of a) the way you exist makes me uncomfortable so you should stop existing#or b) genocide is the answer to a problem#then you are wrong by default
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Everyday I wake up, be embarrassing, and then go back to sleep
#starry speaks#god i feel like ever since i stepped on campus I've been cringing at everything ive been doing#i haven't gone one day without thinking YIKES! i can't believe i did/said that!!#i feel like a 6-7th grader all over again#this sucks#man if my freshman year of college don't improve anytime soon imma be real upset istg
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#finals start today and i'm already feeling sick af#like... today i have a latin exam that i'm supposed to do good at but this time i can't use my beloved wiktionary :(#and it isn't even cheatin bro we all should be allowed to use it we still have to translate which is the bigger pain in the ass#but el padresito will find out i'm actually an impostor so...#anyway#then the literatura colonial exam on wednesday and i just don't want to study for it because i hate that class it's boring af#i just hope arlette can sell me her study guide or else i'm going to fail rip lmao yikes#then i have to write an essay on don quijote and part of me wants to write something nice & impressive but i'm just so tired#reading don quijote was just so meh i didn't even finish the book he he he#and finding out we also have a literatura barroca exam was the worst thing ever i have zero notes wtf#so i just hope leo can also sell me his study guide pls god#then having to do a presentation for mr stupid ass idiot bitch i want to puke just thinking about him and his class ugh#like that one doesn't make me as anxious but i just hate the idea of having to do that project it's so stupid#he taught us nothing who does he think he is he shouldn't even be a teacher just give me a 10 and call it a day#then the sintaxis exam will kill me and my people the devil will end us all rip#like i still have my hopes up in case i don't have to do it but i'm 50/50 just tell me already if i have to worry about it or not pls#and finally the nene's essay which is the only thing i don't fully hate because that's easy and fun#and i wish we all could go back to the museum because that was a very fun activity regardless of everything#anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#i'm just ranting because i woke up too early and i don't have to leave yet he he he#talking to the wall
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