#life with a disability

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

This Just In:

A Gripe is not an Apology.

Feeling frustration over the limits that your disability places on your life is not the same as being ashamed of your disability.

Frustration and Pride can be civil roommates in your brain.

(This message brought to you by all the times Abled people responded to my griping with some version of: "That's okay, I don't mind at all.")

[honeycombhank]

Omg💘

Sorry but I’m back again with this, well collection of images. These are not mine and I do not take any credit for them whatsoever!

Just dreaming of some pretty things.

5/8/24

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[baristabomb]

...weird amount of dunmeshi fans have been saying being a caretaker in a relationship is the worst thing ever..marcille must want to killl everyone soo bad because doing things for people suuuucks sooo muchh

it's an act of love, not just a job i promise. we all want someone who's willing to take care of us in some way, just like how senshi shows care for others by cooking for them :'|

[fallenstarcat]

sometimes i feel like people forget autism is a disability. and that’s not a bad thing! i’m all for disability acceptance, im proud of my disabilities. but i feel like we forget autism can hurt.

it hurts that i have to put more time and energy into socializing than others.

it hurts when i need to move so bad, usually cause im overwhelmed by either my surroundings or emotions, that i thrash and hurt myself.

it hurts that i cant be in places that are too loud or too bright, which on bad days can be as simple as a small, quiet noise or dim lights.

it hurts that i struggle to tell when im hungry, thirsty, tired, etc. so i can’t properly take care of myself. it doesn’t help my insomnia and i get very nauseas and get UTIs.

i 100% believe in autism acceptance. i don’t want a cure. but i also want us the acknowledge that it can hurt. it doesn’t mean my entire life will hurt, but some parts will. and i want a community where we can see both sides, see the hurt, and celebrate it anyway.

[xmybipolarmindx]

Life with a Disability

Adjusting to life with a disability…. or adjusting to a new normal is anything but easy. I wish I could say things are easy to adapt to but it’s teaching yourself to accept that things are different now and there’s no turning back the hands of time. It’s reality…and the reality is that I’m fighting not only the inability to not be able to work, the inability to control and manage my emotions, and…

[potsiepumpkin]

When the chronic fatigue is chronic

[disabled-bug]

I’m so proud of people living with chronic health conditions. That shit is HARD. Idk who needs to hear this, but if no one else has said it: I’m proud of you. You’re sticking it out through so much pain and grief. That’s no small feat.

Every small thing you do for yourself health adds up. The grief is heavy and it comes from a place of love. The grief knows the pain is wronging you.

I’m proud of you. I hope on the good days you can be proud of yourself.

Keep going.

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

♿Fellow Disabled Writers: Is it like this for you, too?✍🏻

My wheelchair back has been broken for 18 months -- and it's not 8gonna get fixed, 'cause the wheelchair company discontinued this model.

Anyway, I've discovered that while some sorts of writing (essays, mostly) are just as easy/difficult as they've always been, I'm completely blocked on fiction. It's like I simply cannot concentrate on holding myself upright so I can reach the keyboard and get into Storytelling Mode at the same time.

It's almost like the neural traffic for "Balance and Posture" and the neural traffic for "Make Believe" are trying to go in opposite directions down the same one lane road.

It's frustrating.

And, frankly, depressing as hell.

Anyway, I was wondering if any of you guys can only do certain types of writing under certain conditions... If you have selective Writer's Block.

[manyminded]

shout out to “gross” disabled people.

people who can’t shower/bathe people who can’t shave people who can’t wash their clothes people who need help going to the bathroom people who have nasty habits (biting nails, picking nose, etc) people who can’t brush their teeth people who can’t go to the doctor people who can’t clean their room people who can’t make their beds people who vomit a lot people who wet the bed people who constantly have diarrhea people who’s physical deformities are seen as repulsive

and every other kind of person I missed that deserves to be here too.

you are people, first and foremost. your thoughts deserve to be heard, discussed, acknowledged, no matter what. you are not lesser. you are just another person. you should never be ignored for what you can/can’t do. you deserve care.

to abled people: check yourself. make sure you listen. and you can reblog, just don’t derail. maybe don’t add on, either.

EDIT: reblog this version instead, please.

[tumble-tv]

"You're always so chipper and excited even though you're in pain, I could never."

Bethany, if I wasn't chipper and excited about the most mundane things like bees and dice, then I would literally be bedrotting all day every day, sobbing because my entire life is falling apart because I have no answers or relief to pain that doctors think is fake. So I will take joy in my trinkets and rollerskating while my body allows because one day I won't be able to.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[fallenstarcat]

sure there’s a ramp, but is it steep? is there a curb at the top? is the ground uneven? do i need a key for the elevator? are the aisles and doorways wide enough? do i have room to turn? is there furniture and clutter in my way? is the carpet difficult to wheel on? can i open the doors myself?

accessibility to wheelchairs is more than just a ramp.